#im not gonna tag all of them.. its not worth it..

[kookidough]

analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !

tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!

also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case

okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot

so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap

there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)

i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"

similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart

moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)

so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here

before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm

the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped

mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later

its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !

howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information

not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)

and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously

okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in

i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way

the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge

we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt

sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot

hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3

[moeblob]

Today.............. has genuinely. Been. A Day.

Have some OC doodles I started yesterday before tragedy struck and are like the bare minimum effort for today to finish. Since the two princes were originally not /in canon/ for another plot but rather made for a mafia AU as cousins to one of the main characters for the base plot. I was like. Huh let's give them a happier life. So here they're just princes and instead of the police department/detectives that most of the main cast is in base plot, those are the royal guards around the twins' castle.

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[volfoss]

I cannot recommend enough starting game series from the start. Both because if you get used to the clunky gameplay of earlier ones, the later ones will be easier (from experience, going the other way just makes the originals seem IMPOSSIBLE) and also bc it does in fact help w understanding the story. Also because honestly old games are so cool

[waybrightgender]

google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate

[cosmicallyavg]

ooh these tik tok editors rly get to me bc its so obvious when they exclude thirteens era from their stuff?? here's an edit of every nuwho companion and they all get multiple clips EXCEPT yaz, ryan, graham, and dan, they only get one each. heres an edit of all of the doctors but theres one short lil clip of thirteen and everyone else gets multiple. heres all the masters but theres only a lil bit of dhawan. some of them dont even try to hide it they fr just dont put anything from her era like??? you're not being slick you rly think i wouldn't notice 🤨

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

While we're here, I just want to add an example of a good response to Harris' video.

In the first half of the video, Harris briefly mentions a creator called Lukeypoo (who now goes by Luke Stephens) who had plagiarised Harris' Bloodborne review, and his response at the time was to deny it, signal to his alt right buddies and insult Harris.

After the video came out, Luke Stephens made a post on his community page regarding it:

For those, who can't see the screenshots, it reads:

A video went up on YouTube last night that showed something I did 6 years ago in early 2017, of which I'm very ashamed. I've talked about it on stream plenty since then and try to be very open about it, but I know a lot of people haven't been watching me since 2017 or have not heard me discuss this before. I don't want to hide from my mistakes or deflect, so very plainly here's what happened:

I was just starting on YouTube and I ripped off a phenomenal video on Bloodborne. It was a fantastic video by hbomberguy and after finding it through a Reddit post I tried to take his 1.5 hour masterpiece and make my own suckier version at around 7 minutes. I copied the premise, jokes, structure, and then pretended like it was all just a coincidence that they were so similar. I was a 19 year old idiot who thought it didn't matter because "he's a bigger creator so it's fine" and "it's just the internet." When I was rightly called out for copying his video I dodged, lied, and even attacked and insulted the appearance of those holding me to account, including hbomberguy himself. I copied someone's video, in parts word-for-word, and I pretended like *I* was the victim and *they* were being unreasonable. Unbelievable. There is no question at all: I was in the wrong, fully.

Let me be very clear: I whole heartedly disown who I was back then and what I did. Politically, religiously, and even morally/ethically I was a person that I hate today. I was an extremist, a bully, a religious zealot, and above all, a prick. This event sparked a spiral in my personal life that I didn't document online, but that has led me to who I am today. Someone who tries very hard to respect my fellow creators, audience, and to uphold a high ethical standard for myself. I strive every day to be a better man for myself, my family and kids, and for the community around me. And that's why I'm writing this, because I don't think we should hide from our mistakes or pretend they didn't happen. I screwed up, big time, and I stole the hard work of an incredibly talented creator and for that I'm incredibly sorry. I was 19, hard headed, and above all arrogant and unwilling to acknowledge I had screwed up. It took a couple years after that before I could openly admit what I had actually done, and that it took that long is all the more shameful.

I don't expect a response or certainly forgiveness, but for what it's worth, I am truly sorry for everything, @hbomberguy

For the last 6 years I've been working my butt off to be someone I can be proud of being and I hope you all can see that the man I am today is not the shameful excuse of a person I was back then.

I've never watched a video or stream by Luke Stephens so I can't attest as to his content, but this is one of the best responses I've seen to any kind of accusation, and so I lean towards believing him to be a better man than he was six years.

I thinks it's important to highlight the good response/s to Harris' video, to remind ourselves that plagiarism is not such an immoral action that from which you can't redeem yourself (though in Somerton's case, I'm less sure of that) if you take accountability for your actions, and to remember that in most cases, we should give people space to grow and become better.

The swiftness and brutality of Hbomberguy’s complete evisceration of James Somerton’s career cannot be overstated.

[jin-zixun]

the desire to write glee s6 au fic

vs

the desire to not watch glee s6 which would be an implicit requirement to properly writing s6 au fic

[scoobrt]

ah wow love getting suddenly hit with the worlds worst cocktail of emotions!!! gotta love it

[phagodyke]

I still can't believe they're charging THAT much for the shadow of the erdtree dlc... for like 2/3 of the base game price there fucking better be 100+ hours of content in there 🤨

[possum-tooth]

okkkkkkkk guys im ready to go home 😐

[tthesongofachilless]

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

♟️ — relationship: Max Verstappen x fem!teammate!reader

♟️ — face claim: Pinterest

♟️ — WARNING: This smau includes hate, death threats and sexism.

♟️ — a/n: thank you everyone for the support recently! Its been a wild ride making this, so I hope you enjoy it! For requests on my next smau, feel free to put in an ask! Enjoy

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 384,752 other liked..

f1: F1 BREAKING: Y/n Y/l/n signs with Redbull! ✏️

view comments:

user1: WHAT HUH WAIT WHAAA

user2: RUE... WHEN WAS THIS?

user3: IM SHAKING

redbullracing: welcome 🫶🏻

user4: OH HELL NO

user5: checo come back the kids miss you (im the kids)

maxverstappen1: 👋

user6: i thought we were getting a maxiel reunion..

user7: she's a fucking rookie what do redbull expect is gonna happen

user8: the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself 😔😔😔

yourusername: 🫶

user9: shut your goofy ass up go to Williams instead they will LOVE you there

yourbestfriend, landonorris and 23,038 others liked..

yourusername: trying to live my life till the fullest until my trainer forces me to stop 🙈

view comments:

user10: oh don't worry girlie you'll be back to living your life till the fullest in no time

user11: gosh lando in the likes she's already tryna bag every driver

user12: all i wanna know is how does y/n make that many cups of coffee and not finish any of them?

user13: cant wait to see her make a post talking about her leaving F1

user14: y/n is about to become the james charles of f1

yourbestfriend: miss you xxx

yourusername: miss you more!!!

—

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 197,296 others..

f1: 👋 Hello Max, Hello Y/n! Who's ready for our opening round of the season?

view comments

user20: gosh she won't even let the photographers get a good picture for the official f1 insta

user21: did they..... arrive together...?

user22: uhm!!! who is this girl!!!! where is checo!!!!???

user23: max run

redbullracing: Hello, f1!

yourusername: ME!!!🙈🙈🙈

user24: shut UP ALREADY

schecoperez and 482,074 liked..

f1: CONTACT! 💥 Max Verstappen is okay, safety car is deployed.

view comments:

user25: im going to murder y/n.

user26: turning the tv off it isn't worth watching anymore

user27: CHECO IN THE LIKES HAHAHA

user28: hey y/n do a mazespin

user29: redbull shaking in their boots

landonorris, redbullracing and 963,285 liked..

f1: Y/N Y/L/N, A FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIX WINNER!

view comments

yourbestfriend: THAT'S MY GIRL

redbullracing: 👊👊👊

user30: ugh

user31: can't wait for her to crash at every other race!

user32: wondering how the haters feel now...

yourusername: I FEEL AMAZING 🥁🥁

user33: kill yourself

yourusername posted a story!

caption: I'm winning

tagged: maxverstappen1

view comments

maxverstappen1: uhm you cheated

yourusername: you literally ate one of your cards

user34: leave that man alone

user35: jump out of the bus

maxverstappen1, taylorswift and 38,284 others liked..

yourusername: Taylor was right! Haters gonna hate hate hate while I'm just gonna shake shake shake!

view comments

user36: she's so annoying

user37: she's a swiftie? Gonna stop listening to Taylor now 🙉

taylornation: glad we could help 💕

user38: are we not going to talk about the second picture

user39: im scared for that mans wellbeing

maxverstappen1: 🏌️ Score!

user40: MAX RUN

—

— 7 Months later..

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 918,024 others liked..

yourusername: wanna die but at least I've got my boo 💐

view comments

yourusername: you deserve so much better baby 💕

maxverstappen1: 👫 twinssss

user44: I'm sorry YOU SAY TWINS IN THAT YOU WANNA DIE OR YOU GOT YOUR BOO

user45: girl has been through it all in the past few months

user46: show them that they're wrong!!

user47: who is the boo?

user48: ugh such a pinterest lifestyle

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 486,019 others

f1: Our final race of the season is upon us! Who will take the title? Verstappen or Y/l/n?

view comments

user50: if y/n manages to win the title in her rookie year despite all the hate she's getting I'm going to be so proud

user51: both deserve it so much 🧡

redbullracing: We are happy either way!

user52: DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN

user53: y/n prove the haters wrong!

liked by 401,851 others.

F1: RED FLAG 🚩 Mick is okay.

view comments

user54: SHITTTT

user55: Mick baby you need a new seat

user56: doesn't this now make redbull 1-2?

user57: yeah! y/n is leading while Max is second

liked by 1,052,852 others

F1: We go racing again in Abu Dhabi! Y/n is leading with Max in second and Lewis in third.

view comments

user58: YOU GOT THIS Y/N!!!

user59: Lewis could do so something really funny now

user60: MAXIE 2024 CHAMP

user61: last race with Lewis at merc... im not sad... no...

user62: im shaking

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 4,952,012 others liked..

F1: OUR NEWEST WORLD CHAMPION, Y/N Y/L/N!

view comments

user64: fucking bitch

user65: YESSSSSS

user66: UGH

user67: the way max looked at her when he got out of the car 🥹

user68: can't tell if she used him to get the wdc or if they are actually in love

user69: MAX AND Y/N OH MY GODD

user70: 💕

yourbestfriend: AHDHDHHGDDHHD IM GONNA DIE

yourusername, redbullracing and 6,308,157 others liked

maxverstappen1: Y/n, I've loved you since I first met you in our junior years. Your personality matches mine, and I could've never asked for anyone more beautiful than you. Please let us grow old together and look back on these moments and laugh.

Love you, world champion. 💛

view comments

yourusername: 💛 Gosh I love you come back to our room let me kiss you

user71: "let us grow old together" max what if I just died now

redbullracing: So happy for you both 💛

user72: THE THIRD PICTURE?

user73: gonna cry myself to sleep

user74: THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE

user75: UGHFHFHFHD

— fin 💐

— ♟️ a/n : thank you all so much for reading this! This took a while to make, as i was really stuck on how to progress the story further without making it too short. Again, if you have any smau requests, feel free to put them in my asks! Love you all 🦅🦅

[onismdaydream]

drunk on you (ft. hiromi higuruma)

tags: mdni 18+. fem/afab reader. piss kink. watersports. pet names. oral (f). multiple orgasms. slight scent kink?? pussy drunk higu. not really proofread.

notes: piss kink!!! this contains piss!!!!! do not read if you don't like it!! i just. really think higu would be into this im sorry... anyway i hope y'all enjoy hehe <3

“h-hiromi,” you pant out, fingers gripping the bed sheets underneath you until your knuckles turn white. “‘m gonna cum.”

higuruma moans into your pussy, the vibrations sending a wave of pleasure down your spine as his lips suction around your clit. you instinctively try to close your legs, your plush thighs clenching around his head as he pushes you to yet another orgasm. his grip on you tightens, his fingers roughly pressing into your skin until you relax.

his name tumbles from your lips as you cry out, a sweet prayer for his ears only. hiromi swears he could get lost in you. everything about you is just so intoxicating — your scent, your taste, the beautiful moans and gasps that he coaxes from you. he can't get enough. he's simply obsessed.

he, reluctantly, pulls away from your core, turning his head slightly to press slow and gentle kisses on your thighs. there were bruises and love bites scattered about. he just couldn't stop himself, you were so sensitive and your reactions drove him mad.

“did so good for me, darling,” higuruma lifts his gaze, catching your own half-lidded eyes. you look stunning — ethereal and perfect and far too good for him. your lips are parted slightly as you catch your breath, your breasts rising and falling as you fill your lungs once again. he could spend eternity in this position and be at peace.

he's already on his knees for you, ready and willing to do whatever you command. the hardwood floor offers no comfort to higuruma’s body but it's easy to ignore the dull pain with your legs wrapped around him.

you sigh, one of your hands reaching out to push his hair back, nails gently scraping against his scalp. again, he kisses your thigh, so much tenderness and adoration shown in the simple gesture.

“i love you,” hiromi whispers, sealing it with another peck. he always felt so at ease around you, the stress he carried around all the time finally lessening when you were around. a simple touch from you and the guilt and anxiety hanging on his shoulders felt less suffocating.

“love you, too.” and there was that smile that made everything worth it to him. that smile that made his heart feel too big for his ribcage and his love too big for the world.

his own crooked grin makes its way to his face. “love you more.”

that gets a cute laugh out of you, and he can't help but press more kisses to your skin. your thighs are so soft and warm and practically begging hiromi to cover you in them. and he does just that. 

it starts out innocently enough but eventually, his lips find their way closer to your pussy, the glint of your arousal still sticking to your body. his tongue darts out for a taste and he groans softly. he really was obsessed with you.

“let me take care of you like you deserve.” he mumbles, voice edging on pleading, as if he hasn't been pampering you since the moment he met you.

“three isn't enough for you?” you tease gently, gaze softening at his desperation. his craving for you was insatiable, the deep, innate need to take you apart and carefully put you back together driving hiromi between your legs constantly. and of course, you were the one spreading them and inviting him closer every time.

“sorry,” there's a quirk of his lips, his pupils blown out in desire as his lips ghost along your mound. “can't get enough of you, sweet girl.”

suddenly, his arms hook under your thighs, his forearms resting on top and effectively trapping you. he pulls you to the very edge of the bed and directly to his face. his strong nose nudges between your lips, the tip of it rubbing your dripping slit. even if you wanted to move, higuruma was much stronger than he looked.

“color?” your eyes flutter shut as his mouth moves against you, a small gasp of his name escaping your lips. you can feel hiromi’s fingers flex on the meat of your thighs, as if it was taking all of his willpower to restrain himself.

he was a dog, salivating and attentive, waiting for his handler's order. give the word and he attacks.

“green.”

the word barely leaves your lips before he's eating you like a man starved. he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't build up a nice and slow orgasm; higuruma needed to taste you again and he needed it now.

he's always sloppy, always drooling and lapping at your cunt while your fingers tangle themselves in his dark locks. if you get desperate enough — which he always hopes you do — you'll start humping and grinding against his face, moving his head to the exact place you want him to be. he'll bump his nose on your clit, putting pressure on it just to get you to pull his hair or whine his name, your voice so beautiful every time.

“hiromiii,” you cry out, your hands weakly pushing on the top of his head. it’s so much, too much. his tongue, hot and heavy, running up and down your slit, nose bumping into your overly sensitive bundle of nerves. your body felt like it was thrumming with electricity, but there was a familiar pressure building up near your core. “gotta s-stop…”

it sounds so lewd, the wet slurping and panting and groaning that echo around the room. you can feel the mixture of your slick and cum beginning to cool on your skin, followed by hiromi’s warm tongue lapping it all up.

“one more, baby.” his fingers dig into your thighs to keep you still, your hips bucking off the bed. your body couldn't seem to decide whether it was running away or towards him. “gimme one more.”

your constant squirming makes him move his hands up, one of them resting on your hip and the other on your abdomen, desperate to get you to stay still. the pressure inside you becomes recognizable the second his hand presses into your stomach.

“wait, wait! yellow!” 

and hiromi stops immediately, head moving back and his grip on you loosening. “what's wrong? did i hurt you?”

you have to shut your eyes while you catch your breath, the sight of your arousal shining on his lips and chin making it hard to focus. 

“‘m fine, just need a break,” you mumble. your mind is so hazy from how many times you've cum so thinking right now isn't your strong suit. “gotta pee.”

“it's alright, babygirl. i don't mind.” 

the worst thing about being with a sarcastic and deadpanned lover? you have a lot of trouble differentiating between jokes and serious proposals. 

“seriously ‘romi, i gotta go.” you push at his head again, but he doesn't move.

his hands slide up your thighs, fingers kneading the fat there. he can feel you tense underneath his touch, but you don't shove him away.

“told you,” he nearly purrs, mouthing at the apex of your thigh, nuzzling closer to you. his words are muffled against your skin but you hear him perfectly clear. “i don't mind if you piss on me.”

his words make your face heat up, your whole body burning from the suggestion. he was serious. he was actually serious. and you were actually considering it.

“i want you to, baby.” higuruma says so gently, sensing your inner turmoil.

it was so dirty, but you couldn't deny the way your stomach swooped at the thought. you must be sick, must be having some insanely realistic fever dream. but the way you can feel hiromi’s breath ghost across your skin and the heat from his own body and the pull of arousal deep in your core — this is real and happening.

“color.” his eyes lock onto your face, the way you're gnawing on your bottom lip making him pause for a moment. your own gaze flickers around the room, going from his face and mouth to his hands on your body to the ceiling to the walls.

“tell me your color, angel.” hiromi repeats, face retracting by barely an inch. he needed to hear you, needed to make sure he wasn't going too far. it would be hard for him to stop, but he would do it for you — anything you ask, he would do it.

“g-green.” you say softly after a moment, eyes finally settling on his face.

laying back down completely, higuruma starts to lick at your dripping slit again, working you back up. your body is sensitive from your previous orgasms so it doesn't take long before your breath starts hitching and your body squirming.

you let out a whine as he pressed down on your bladder, encouraging you to fully let go, tongue prodding at your clit. for a moment, you thought about backing out, stopping this and excusing yourself to use the toilet. you knew hiromi wouldn't be mad at you, would never be upset with you for creating boundaries.

but higuruma looked so desperate for you, his pupils swallowing the rich browns in his eyes until they were thin rings.

you relax enough under his touch, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you feel the first trickle of warm piss run down your skin.

“that's it, beautiful,” he whispers, “just like that.”

his lips wrap around your sensitive bud, sucking on it as you drench his clothes. he doesn't mind the mess, knows it'll wash out eventually. it feels good to have your hot urine rush down his body now though, to be thoroughly soaked in you.

you shudder underneath him, letting out a shaky gasp from the weak orgasm that's wrung out of you. it's not as mind numbing as the others, but it still makes a zing of pleasure shoot through your body.

“fuck, baby,” hiromi groans out, eyes rolling back as he squeezes at the base of his cock. you should be embarrassed — should be downright mortified and disgusted — seeing your boyfriend covered in urine.

but you're not.

it's hot. it's something that's so depraved and primal and raw. his lips parted as he pants heavily, shirt soaked and sticky, hand using the wet slickness to make the glide along his shaft easier. you can't tear your eyes away from him.

“got me so fucking messy…” a bead of precum builds up at his tip before dripping to the floor, adding to the puddle that was already building. his fist worked faster, the loud squelching noises filling the room and making you feel even dirtier. he’s already so worked up from your taste, that he knew he wasn't going to last long. hiromi moves back between your thighs, licking and sucking at the mess that clings to your skin. “so good to me.”

the bitter tang of your piss mixes with your sweet slick, and his climax hits him quickly, cum coating his cock and hand. he moans out your name, lips pressed to your skin, praises spilling out in between shaky breaths.

after a moment, higuruma removes himself from your legs, sitting back and catching your gaze. you were watching him intently, clearly as enraptured as he was with this newfound kink you shared.

but, anything else would have to wait for another time — and he was sure there would be another time. right now, he had to take care of you like he promised he would.

“c’mere darling.” hiromi helps you up, your legs wobbly. he presses a kiss to the side of your head and leads you to the bathroom. a nice, hot bath will certainly do some good for the both of you. “let's get you cleaned up, hm?”

[wolfienation]

some rhaenicent fic recommendations

grey ridge (ríl liatroma) by molter ( @molter-writes ) - married with kids; business drama; they’re sickeningly cute; arguably the best thing ive read in the fandom; 10 out of 10; read it like 6 times; if you haven’t read it dude what are you waiting for

ride the dragon (and do it quickly) by molter - the #roadtrip fix it 

love is complicated by molter - Alicent is an actress and Rhaenyra is her rich best friend; they idiots and they’re in love; Laena is featured and she is fed up

leaf and blade by molter  - it’s summer; they’re hiding their relationship; they’re teachers; and my all time favorite tag ‘harwin gets a whistle’ 

bodhrán beat by molter - read the tags. its by molter trust me its good.

cleopatra by dontaskmedude   - divergence from episode 4; Joffery does not die; Laenor and Rhaenyra do everything right; Alicent and Rhaenyra raise their kids together 

someone to watch me die by dontaskmedude  - this is just, this is just depressing; good but depressing; like if hurt/no comfort is your thing this is for you; it’s just so, so sad; kinda Alicent in chains/Rhaenyra half year queen era with some timeline tweaks but no happy ending; do not read this if you want them to be happy 

Untouchable by mylordshesacactus - young rhaenicent; if Aemma never died and if Alicent never married viserys; i love this story so much you dont get it

Blame it on Fate by Lumyart ( @lumyart ) - they’re rival co hosts; well, actually, they’re rival co hosts in Alicent’s mind; Rhaenyra is thoroughly enamored (as per usual) 

you don't know what love is (if you don't put up a fight) by tansymeadows - viserys manages to last a couple extra days and Rhaenyra returns after Alicent blinked her pretty brown eyes and said “you’ve only just arrived”

The Silver Queen and the Lady in Green by WanderingFan - idk how to explain this; honestly just read it; it’s really good; slow burn; like incredibly slow burn im on chapter 26 rn and they’ve only just become friends a couple chapters ago but god is it worth it 

is it too soon to do this yet ('cause I know it's delicate) by Arvedui - episode 1 divergence; it’s cute; they’re cute 

would it be enough (if i could never give you peace?) by Arvedui  - Jeyne Arryn my beloved; you and Laena would get along splendidly when it comes to these two nitwits ( i say with affection) 

Midnights Like This by pure_black_wings - based on Taylor’s album; college setting; slow burn

Duty and Sacrifice (A History of Rhaenyra the Blessed by Archmaester Gyldayn) by TheIronDragon10    (@theirondragonrants) - now when i say i love this story i mean i LOVE this story; if you ever wanted to know what the House of the Dragon looked like thoroughly united then LOOK NO FURTHER; top tier; it’s wonderful; it has angst, it has joy, it has family and sibling vibes, it has slow burn, it has pain and healing and love everything i could ever want from a realistic version of canon where my girls can be happy; emphasis on realistic because the irondragon does not pull any punches 

Cleaving to Rhaenyra by WanderingFan - another episode 4 divergence 

you’ve got your demons (darlin’ they all look like me) by geralehane    ( @geralehane ) - the reincarnation au 

lying (in the hollows of your heart) by wakesiren ( @wakesirens)  - read this for the last scene of chapter 3 and thank me later; update: READ THIS FOR CHAPTER FOUR AND THANK ME LATER

towers and dragons verse by beepboop (permanganato) - Alicent is one adorable nerd okay and Rhaenyra just loves her 

what is it good for? by bluebaric ( @viscountcrow ) - arranged marriage au; Rhaenyra is a war hero; Alicent is perpetually terrified for her life  

tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart by alphayamergo   ( @sydneysageivashkov ) - this was just, this was just hilarious; like picture Corlys and Otto snarling at each other from across the council room trying to convince Rhaenyra to marry either Alicent or Laena and that’s what this is

thine is the queendom by liadrell ( @lesbianalicent ) - this was an excellent read, really good character dive on alicent

Ember to Flame by CrowSaint (@ dayneonychus ) - intriguing concepts 

our shadow over the sea by queensmooting - sigh

Long Live Our Queens! by WanderingFan - they’re gonna kill their fathers and they’re gonna rule together and it’s gonna be great

blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) by dontaskmedude - this made me shed some tears

Of Our Own Accord by 99bad_habits ( @99bad-habits ) - can’t wait to see how this turns out; canon divergence at 1x08; Viserys lives long enough and Rhaenyra returns on dragonback and our girls get to co-rule

and i'll still see it, until i die by irridescence - h e a r t b r e a k i n g; starts around the winter fever and goes backward from there

by choice by alicents - co-parenting rhaenicent my beloveds <3; family fluff told in segments in a non-linearly fashion; it's cute; they're cute; something to read while canon is breaking your heart

good luck, babe! by somebodytoundress ( @somebodytoundress )- based on the song by chappell roan; they're friends reconnecting after 10 years about to play lead love interests in a movie. give the song a listen and give the fic a read

am i making you feel sick? by  somebodytoundress - rhaenyra is a vampire. need i say more

fault lines by rogueorbit ( @rogueorbit ) - 1x08 canon divergence; rhaenyra returns on dragonback and her and alicent make peace; alicent plays otto like a fiddle while rhaenyra stands back and chants "i'm in love with you"

once more, to see you by Jazzfordshire ( @jazzfordshire ) - 2x03 canon compliant. takes place after their sept talk. bittersweet as hell. supercorp fans rejoice because jazz wrote it.

And in the Darkness, Hearts Aglow by mrdcai ( @mrdcai ) - #valyrianmagicbabies need i say more

Desire (I want to turn into you) by mrdcai - they're friends with benefits because they're fucking idiots

lately i've been crying (like a tall child) by noheteroexplanation ( @noheteroexplanation ) - this has one of the best characterizations of alicent i've ever read. it's told from her pov from the beginning of season 2 come forward with minor changes and goes into speculation for the rest of the show. heavy, heavy book spoilers.

it’s a craving, not a crush by BeastGirl2k14 - did someone say toxic modern au rhaenicent with some vampire action thrown in for fun? (alicent with a fang kink for the win)

Where love is elsewhere held and she lingered by koyuki_kazahana - alicent runs. rhaenyra runs after her. there are book spoilers in this.

there you go again by floodonthefloor ( @floodonthefloor ) - they're actors. they're childhood best friends. they were fuck buddies in uni and that really messed them up. they haven't spoken in years. they're now starring in a movie together. alicent kinda hates rhaenyra's guts but she still wants to jump her bones. trust me. it's good

try not to let go by floodonthefloor - they dated in uni. they broke up. and now they're back in each other's lives. that's gonna go well.

there’s more i just got tired so feel free to add your own; there are also other stories by these authors (Wandering, wakesiren, somebodytoundress, mrdcai to name a few) which I have not put here that are also enjoyable so you can check them out 

[tonydaddingham]

Hi! I saw your tags on a post talking about car trouble as one of the great good omens fics and I've put it on my tbr! I wasn't really active in the fandom after season 1 so I feel like I missed out on all the great fics. I know about Demonology and Slow Show and I know about others from Aziraphale'sLibrary from their classics tag. But I was wondering what your list would be, your list of what the best and greatest good omens fics are. I'm young, so I have time to read lol

GASPS I HAVE RECS COMING OUT MY EARS @queenofthearchipelago, BUCKLE UP KID💕

this will be a mixture of genres and a lot of them are well known so may well already be on the AL classic lists (but, well, theyre classics for a reason imo) but im just gonna dump them here; these are literally just off the top of my head so won't be very coherent/in order - i'll give the links and ratings, but will leave you to peruse the synopses directly (most will be human AUs, they're my particular favourites), just to save making what will be a huge post even longer!!!

Car Trouble (E)

Petrichor and Parchment (E)

Memory of Eden (M) (and its sequels - imo The heartbreak series of all time. i sob like a baby) (it's written pre-s1 release, so book!omens, but i find it relatively easy to re-imagine if tv!omens is how you imagine them too etc) (no seriously if i ever get any fic professionally bound into a physical book, it's this series)

For Want of a Seed (T) (and also a huge shout out to Right of It also by cassieoh but it's unfinished - ive had it open as a tab in my phone for like a year? in the fervent hope it'll be updated, which fair enough if it isn't!!! but it's beauuuutiful)

Stranger in Paradise (E)

Infernal Bodyguard (M)

Wicked Thing series (E) (and anything by phoenix_soar, frankly. just... damn🫠)

i then also want to shout out a couple of fics from some amazing people on tumblr here (listed in no particular order!) which you may have already seen? but definitely worth mentioning because they're similarly insaneeee:

Shoot to Thrill and Learning on the Job (both E) and tbh anything by @teddybearbutchh, otherworldly affinity for not only writing in general, she's so talented, but her smut is 🫠

How Do We Turn On The Light? (M) by @moonyinpisces is soooo good as a post-s2 fic, she's really captured how i personally imagine aziraphale and crowley to act after the feral domestic, i love her characterisation!

The Loophole (E) by @fellshish is a different take post-s2 but incredibly funny and the apology dance is. life changing

Chemistry (E) by @twilightcitysky, i simply revisit their works time and time again, but this one is a particular favourite!!!

and im sure there are some lovelies that might read this and want to add their recommendations too, or self promote???💕✨ but these are my faves, like i said, right off the top of my head!!!

[lokorum]

what would you say is your favorite jonmichael fic..... im very curious and love to reread anything in that tag

oh but how can i pick only one when they all are so good??? (,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)?

aaaaaa can i make the several honorable mentions of the fics that made me scream and roll on the floor?????? pretty please???

scheherazade was one of the first jonmichael fics that i found while going through all of the cher's works because, evidently, they have no fics that are not worth reading!! (i'm sorry if and forty feet down only confirming it!!!)

sleep inertia has one of the best dialogues i ever read!!! the way cruelzy writes michael's lines??? aaaaaaaaa its so delicious and believable and never for a second i thought i'm reading something out of canon?? its just that good. 

carousel is the only one fic (from what i found) that i set in the last season and its adds a lot of layers to that big jonmichael onion that torments my eyes for a while now ldkfjgkdfjg also it's messy?? i mean the whole situation in the fic?? its so humanly complicated and it does not gives you the chance to experience any of the feelings clearly and i love it!! screechfox somehow captured all of the complicated stuff in one fic, blendered it together and for the whole time i just couldn't take my eyes away from it. 

five times michael saves jon's life and one time he doesn't have to - is here to sooth our pain and heal our wounds. i reread it so many times!! the dynamic between jon and michael in it is one to live for!!! sometimes you think 5+1 kind of fics can't surprise you anymore and then the coolest author like paisleycowboys enters the room and proves you wrong. 

to be like super honest, the 100 ways to say i love you series, when i first saw it, made me think im not gonna like it? i love my fanfics long and scary and bittersweet and with a bad-very-not-good-endings, so the title of this one made me go "hmmmmm HMMMMM hmmmmm hmmmm?" but ive started to read it anyway, theres not that many fics on the ao3 for jonmichael, we cant afford to be capricious and gosh GOSH i was so fucking wrong!!! its sweet AND sad AND scary AND awkward (in a best way!!!) AND it made me giggle so many times!!! NeedsCaffeineRightNow can make even the edgiest of us enjoy the soft kinds of fics (its not hard when they are written with so much care and love.)

POSSESSIVE!! MICHAEL!! COMBING!!! JON'S!! HAIR!!!!!! what else do we need from life?

transition, every time i reread it or think about it, makes me painfully aware of how many things should coincide for something to work. it's not one of those fics that completely encompass you; nor its the one that leaves you with new headcanons or in a good mood, no, i think it's the one that leaves you in dissoray, making you want to argue with author, to ask them what were they thinking about, pointing on your weak sides like this?, giving you something precious and then stealing it away? pushing your old bruises? that is to say, i have nothing but deep respect for indefensibleselfindulgence. to write fic that makes you want to engage in conversation? thats powerful 

Our 'Angel' of Static and Bone is written so inexplicably good, that more than once i wondered, how NeverwinterThistle was able to do it? and then i realised they are one of my fave bg3 and dishonored authors phpphp but really, the care, the effort that went into this fic? they are literally visible! you can feel the amount of time and brain juice that went into writing it. and the neighbor character? they appeared like two times?? and still their addition left me speechless with how clever it is, how different!! absolutely amazing work.

adjective noun has jonmichael chapter (11) that destroyed me as a person i swear i laughed so hard i dropped my phone and just kept giggling face-into-the-pillow style!!!!!! its rare for the fics to bring you this childish kind of pure joy; the little in-between moment of forgetting about everything, good and bad, and just have a good time. this chapter is definitely one of those rare things and it also made me wish there would be more jonmichael fics from cuttoth. somehow they nailed everything that should be nailed about this ship and did it in a couple of pages, what a magical work!! 

and well, now here's my fave fic, the one that took my head, shaked it like it's a soda can, and then left it open, fountaining at first and then dented and empty. 

I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying is the work that made me grateful for the fact that i know how to read in english. its....mmmm, you know that feeling when fic makes you go through literally everything? and then, as a bonus, through all stages of grief as well?

first you get hooked up by the beautiful writing style and so you know the fic is gonna be good and you get comfortable and you turn yourself off from the rest of the world and you read. 

you love pov, you love mood shifts, you love pacing, you love when scenes are short and you pause to think about what happened / you love when scenes are long and you get overloaded with the simple things that make you feel complicated emotions, you love it all. 

then you start to wish it would never finish; you look at the scrolling bar from time to time, a little bit too aware of how much there's left to read, a little bit too anxious about it. and at the same time, the fic starts to make you feel safe, confident, that at least it's gonna be alright, its gonna be that one work that will replace the canon events for you. it was the

“Oh. Oh, Archivist, no. That’s not right at all,” you say to yourself as you watch him march into artefact storage, both hands clamped around an axe. 

On a whim, you decide to save him."

line for me for sure uhhh it still hits as good as the first time too 

and then you get to the ending and you just stare at the screen. that hollowing feeling slowly spreading inside you. *sigh* its the best sort of inspiration im sure, but its the worse one too. i have no idea how possessedradios and authors like them are able to write something that kills you, then reanimates you and then makes you sit in front of the tablet drawing hours non stop. ''I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying" is so beautiful its scares and fascinates me, just like the podcast did. hell, better then the podcast did.  i know its silly but i even named my fisrt fanart of michael as the title of the fic 👉👈

ahhhh SO i rumbled again SORRY!!!!!!! every time someone asks something from me its either "i'll reply later" (replies 10 years after) or "tolstoy, hold my fucking beer". but i really hope that fic writers, not only those who are mentioned here but like in general? know how much they affect other people!! how their work creates safe spaces for others!! how they make readers smile or cry, even if those readers (im not pointing finger on myself idk what you talking about pgphpphph) are little gremlins that leaving comments once in a decade....................

have fun time reading!! <3

btw im working on a little fanart rn............. (expressing my deepest grattitude to ao3 johmichael writers 😳🔪)