#im not doing nearly as badly as other people are with this .. im mostly just fucking baffled

[fatmaclover]

theres something to be said about how mac still holds such a childish adoration for his parents after such a long time. how literally its shown to us by the fact that

mac always slicked his hair back as a child, when he still had contact with his father

he stops doing this into adulthood, but later in life, once mac interacts with his father again, he starts slicking his hair back again

he doesnt stop. slicking his hair back. until his own father walks out during his coming out performance. the guy he put it on for. only after that does he completely stop styling his hair that way

not to mention the constant refusal that his mom (and dad) could be anything but perfect, the way hes so desperate to do good by them, viewing them as the way to measure his success...

and. yeah thats. something.

the internal denial that his parents treated him poorly, the fact that its his primary instinct to deny that his parents suck, the constant dismissal of his own issues relating to family because his whole life hes been told that "other people have it worse". the way hes internalized that so hard. the way it takes his dad walking out on macs coming out performance to him for mac to stop blindly idolizing some guy whos threatened to kill him

the constant fear of his own father, while also believing him to be the coolest bestest guy ever. the way he always assumes his father is gonna get violent when actually talking to him, but sings nothing but praises when away from him

the fact that he still calls his dad "daddy" even.

i mean you cant really blame him for not fully growing up in some areas huh

its not even that i think he doesnt know that his parents treat him horribly, it just really seems like he wants so badly to believe thats not the case from years of having his cries for help ignored or made fun of. he cant have been treated poorly, because charlie was treated poorly, and his baggage isnt nearly as bad as charlies, so clearly macs home life wasnt bad.

i think thats proven most of all by his frustration with his own family at times, it really feels like theres some underlying issues. they can very quickly manifest as frustration and anger, but honestly its probably mostly sadness. the way he reacts to his own mother really reminds me of how i interact with family members i have grudges with but have to pretend i dont. im not actually angry at any of these people, im mostly just exhausted by them.

he very clearly is still aware of the neglect he faced as a kid, to me. he knows his home life was severely fucked up, hes just never been able to express that, so hes coped by just. pretending that it didnt happen.

and realistically i dont know if he could ever properly acknowledge that his home life was fucked and his parents suck. maybe hed acknowledge that his dad sucks now, but it wouldnt have been that bad when he was a kid and wasnt a fag. right? he was loved then. his mom still did a great job raising him, and he really loves her, and he was raised with all the love and care a child needs.

[weirdlookingsnakewithlegs]

its Me im Back. The one that asked abt sun making seekers sleepy. Can i coin myself as ☀️ anon i Will be here alot I Think.

Anyway i also remember seeing where you had this thing abt knockout being a past seeker before reprogramming....do not know if we are thinking of the same knockout (tfp etc) but May we get some Backstory Lore. Pretty Please.

If we are infact thinking of the same knockout i like to think in my head he goes street racing not only for funsies but because it fulfills something in him yet he doesnt know what (seeker go fly fast). and also his wheels being where his wings used to be perhaps...... - ☀️

You’re always welcome back!

And I like to think of TFP Knockout(he’s dreamy) when it comes to things <3

Now when it comes to lore, that’s a story! It starts a few vorns before the war, a training practice for the course of field medics due to the upcoming war. Knockout was with his trine, Redwing and Wheezingarrow, along with a few other medics from the Iacon and Praxis academies.

As field medics their practice extended to well, the field, and it was similar in how people would practice in the field as well. Their outpost was set out in the Cybertronian wilderness, a few ‘stragglers’ in caves, trenches, and some in open fields of ‘live fire’. Ultimately it was Knockout who encouraged the idea, he expressed that should the war happen seekers would only have two medics and he wanted to help in any way he possibly could.

Ultimately Cybertronian ground isn’t as stable as one would think and the active movement and unease from equipment caused a cliffface to collapse and in turn a landslide.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Why didn’t KO fly away? Surely Redwing and Wheezingarrow are fine.” All three of them were reasonably wounded, too focused on trying to help a mech who was quite stuck in one of the trenches. You can take a guess as to who that mech was.

Redwing’s left wing and leg were mangled but not entirely irreparable. Wheezingarrow’s back strut was bent out of place and he suffered minor wing damage, after the accident he needed an equivalent to physical therapy to get his wings back in working order. Knockout had taken the full brunt however, frame mostly mangled beyond repair and unlike Wheezingarrow and Redwing, missing a wing that could not be found in the wreckage. Our mystery mech survived with a few bad dents and a busted servo.

With how badly his frame was damaged they had no choice but give him a different frame. Natural seeker frames themselves are too fragile to cold forge and if you want a transplant you need one from a dead mech. Unfortunately most seekers that die are either eaten by predators or two rusted to be useable, they could also just not fit at all, so Knockout was unfortunately shit out of luck. He would end up being in the medbay for nearly half a vorn but our little mystery mech would visit him a lot, along with Redwing and Wheezingarrow of course.

Redwing is the reason Knockout got reprogrammed, while he didn’t do it himself, he and Wheezingarrow stood watch like gargoyles and despite the fact they lost Knockout as a trinemate the day he was reprogrammed they still loved him as one.

Now sky thirst definitely began settling in during this, it’s why Redwing was so insistent they reprogram him ASAP because at least with one he had a small chance of surviving. It caused some of the behaviors he’s now faced with, slight mania and the extreme worry over his frame/paintjob. He lost something but his processor refuses to tell him what so he’s constantly fussing over himself. He can’t remember the weight of his wings but he knows the wheels don’t feel entirely right. And yes he loves racing, something about the speed, something around the turns, something about it makes him feel like he owns the world. Like he was meant to own it.

[doberbutts]

genuine question coming from a place of good faith: is it wrong of me to be scared for transmascs right now? the harassment of transfems by both radfems and now even tumblr staff is fucking horrendous, but im terrified that due to so much recent discourse, people are going to blame transmascs for it and hate us even more than they already do.

i genuinely do care about transfems and it’s utterly ghoulish what’s going on right now, and it needs to stop, but I can’t help but get this awful sinking feeling over how it could affect transmascs by proxy — but I’m not sure if that’s wrong of me? is it wrong to worry about, should I be focusing entirely on transfems right now? is it transmisogynistic of me to be concerned about both of these things instead of just the one? I don’t know if what I’m feeling is wrong and it’s stressing me out so badly :(

I don't think it's ever wrong to be concerned about multiple real problems at once.

I have stayed pretty quiet on this situation, mostly just adding stuff to my queue if I agree with it but not weighing in personally. Mainly the reason is that I genuinely don't know anything about the trans woman in question who all of this fuss is for. But, I have seen other trans blogs get nuked for seemingly flimsy reasons, and I have seen self-professed terfs and radfems crowing victory with the latest victims of their mass-reporting.

And I think this is a bit of a PR nightmare, but I also think this site does have a serious harassment problem the staff does not take nearly seriously enough while it also seems to punish in equal amounts blogs that get harassed AND blogs that were literally just minding their own business, with really the main similarities being that they are blogs owned by people belonging to seriously marginalized and at-risk demographics talking about controversial topics like racism and LGBT politics.

It is really quite frustrating that there are now accusations that trans mascs talking about their own oppression are behind this, when not only is there no proof behind the claim but also even without a lot of direct knowledge I am seeing a certain demographic cheering that their mass reports worked and I gotta say, that demographic largely isn't trans mascs.

I also think there is a lot of hypocrisy floating around, because some of these blogs I'm seeing mad about this latest streak of bans are also people who themselves have advocated for harassing others and mass-reporting others who simply fail the vibe check while just existing as themselves, off this website. And while those users don't have the power of the literal CEO, they're failing to see how they've contributed to the problem of this website's user culture of "send the most vile thing you can think of en mass until they break and leave and good riddance".

I say this as someone who also has been harassed by a band of people wanting to chase me off of this website. It is why I don't interact much with dogblr anymore. I have had several people who joined in that dog pile later approach me and apologize, but the damage is still done and I am not interested in engaging with a "community" so willing to tear someone apart on flimsy accusations that weren't even true. I almost killed myself that night, I had a mental break and turned off my blog completely for several days just to make it stop, and returned to see people similarly crowing with delight that they'd successfully run me off. It's happened to me, and the perpetrators were almost entirely white cisgender women, and I have been very reliably told by multiple other people that both my blackness and my transgender status were significant motivators in their poor behavior.

This also happening in the wake of yet another transgender teen killed by their peers has left me simply mentally and physically exhausted. I began involving myself more in the transgender community on here because I wanted this to stop. I wanted to help uplift my siblings and get them out of the pit before the whole thing caved in. It's feeling very hopeless right now for trans kids around the world and in the mean time it's also apparently my fault a trans woman I don't even know got banned I guess..

In any case. Hold your head up. We'll get through this, somehow. We always have. We always will.

[karoochui]

I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

[3liza]

Saw your post asking about insulin resistance without high blood sugar, and yeah I have experience with that exact thing. Everyone in my family has some sort of awful blood sugar issues, but despite having something clearly wrong with me my glucose tests and a1c's were coming back thoroughly normal. I got lucky with a decent doctor and she ordered an insulin test (usually more accurate with fasting I believe, but the result was rather high anyways) and she noted that it was high and told me to try out a diabetes diet to see if it helped.

I'm on a strict low-glycemic index diet now and it's really improved my health, mostly my mental health, but my skin has been upgraded from "abysmal" to a firm "mediocre."

Do I know what's wrong? No. Probably never will, but I'm feeling a lot better at least.

huh. thats useful info. im about to get a new doctor, i wonder if she'll be willing to entertain this sort of weirdness

edit: i just feel Bad and Sick if i eat a sufficient amount of sugar. systemic symptoms, skin gets worse, actual skin pathology like wounds not healing or eczema/psoriasis/fungus gets worse, migraines get triggered, pain flares, etc. not normal person "i ate too much sugar i feel temporarily sub-optimal" halloween candy coma, but i will get actually sick for a few days if i over-indulge. but i crave sugar constantly, which doesnt really mean anything, lots of people crave sugar because It Tastes Good so its not exactly diagnostic. sometimes the sugar cravings seem uncontrollable, like "i need to get out of bed where i am trying to sleep and eat something sweet or i cant think about aything else" kind of stuff. my parents do this same dance with carbohydrates and sugar, they feel awful, eat a cookie, feel awful, recover, say stuff like "oh i shouldnt eat the cookie", and it cycles. some of it is eating disorder crap, which is real hard to differentiate from other issues. some of it is being underweight/underfed from gastroparesis (which I have, pretty badly) which means certain circumstances of calorie shortages, bad digestion, whatever, can align perfectly to trigger I Am Starving I Need to Overeat Right Now Or I'll Die programming in the ape brain, and again, thats real hard to separate from blood sugar symptoms and eating disorder symptoms because they all get tied up together.

however, if i manage to grocery shop in the correct way to provide myself with ample available appropriate food, and i can eat ketogenic or nearly-ketogenic with focuses on dairy fat and just regular animal meat and fresh veg, with minimal or no grains, starches, and sugars, i feel like 60% better on all axes. my dad, too, eventually, after he got diagnosed, was instructed to stop eating most carbs etc and immediately lost all the extra weight he was uncomfortable with his whole life, and immediately got less chronically crappy-feeling. so there's something going on, i just dont know if its medical or genetic or what. some people just dont do well with a lot of grains and theres no particular medical reason.

[onthepyre]

my dear moot. so gallavich are fuckbuddies and the ian leaves and becomes an emt and then what??? how do they get back together? do they like. see each other in the couple years between because of mandy or other people or do they go no contact?? if it's no contact then why do they see each other again?? i desperately need to know. i'm invested in this au definitely more than i should be since i haven't even finished the show yet but like. it's amazing. i'm obssesed

omg hi!!!!!! thank you so so much for the question. i swear im still spinning this au around in my head ive just been so very preoccupied lately but i intend to write about that first night in the bar soon so keep an eye out for that. BUT! i will put the answer to this under a cut because it got longwinded.

so i want to start with why things fizzle out in the first place. they start up very much like canon gallavich - ian is ass over teakettle for mickey, and mickey, while definitely interested, isn't nearly as invested. things diverge from their canon characterization around the time of mick and svet's marriage. ian remains pissed, but rather than fucking off to the army, he stays - and it triggers his first major depressive episode.

and then mickey's like....... dude what the fuck is going on with you. because mickey, at this point, has bigger fucking fish to fry. instead of him being ian's main caretaker during this time it falls on the other gallaghers and mickey's just sort of around, in the periphery, and then when ian hits that manic upswing again, a LOT of the insane reckless shit he does is with or for mickey. but they never hit that deeper connection that we see gallavich develop in seasons 4/5 because they're just too fucking busy

so then ian quits work, and that's fine, but that means he and mickey dont really see much of each other anymore. they try to keep things up for a little bit, but it's just not really convenient since they aren't constantly in the same place, and so they're just kind of like, well whatever.

(they are both secretly very sad about this. but neither of them wants to come out and say that. so they just don't.)

and yeah, they do end up seeing each other a little, because ian and mandy are still friends, and she's probably so, SO tired of his bullshit, because he tells her all of these conflicting feelings he's having. she drops these stupid-obvious hints to mickey, but he's got a thick skull. so mostly she just pesters ian.

and then a little over a year goes by before the next major event - eventually they kind of put each other in the back of their minds, not really forgotten but not a main figure anymore. maybe ian gets a boyfriend, for real. but he still hasn't exactly nailed the balance of his meds, and though he doesn't experience the full spectrum anymore, there's definitely periods of time that...... aren't quite right. so he finds himself in one of those, and he gets off work and, well, that bar he used to work at is kind of close. and he kind of misses that messy thing he had going with mickey. and he drops in.

he gets more than a little tipsy at the bar, hanging around waiting for mickey to come in - and eventually he does. and ian isn't really sure how to approach this, but you know what always worked for him? starting a fight. so he does that. he calls mickey over, brings him outside, and just fucking. socks him in the face. and it does what ian wants it to! they beat the shit out of each other, take a little breather for mickey to ask what the fuck that was about, and in response, ian kisses him. they barely make it inside before their pants are off.

but ian, for the most part at least, has his life on track right now. he can't get involved in organized crime, he's a fucking emt. he has shit to be doing. his brother's a cop, even if a corrupt one. so he leaves that night, as much as it pains him, and puts it in the past. for a bit.

but FUCK! it hurts more this time. it SUCKS, suddenly, very badly. he wants nothing more than to go back again and apologize and start over, start it again the right way. and though ian loves mandy, he doesn't really trust her judgement on this specific thing. so he confides in lip. lip says, no dude, you did the right thing. don't spend more time around them than you need to. and ian takes that advice! for a little while.

another ten months goes by. it's been two years - two years! - since they had a regular thing going. and really? they're still stuck on each other. mickey very nearly reaches out a few times, but svet worries they'd be spending too much time with the gallaghers. and mickey trusts her.

thing is? yev's a clumsy kid. when he's about three, mickey turns his back for all of ten seconds and yev pulls a pot of boiling water down from the stove - and onto himself. it only really gets his arm, but it's a LOT of his arm, and naturally, mickey freaks the fuck out! and like, ive mentioned this offhand before, but he and svet are STUPID protective over their boy. like, would kill for him protective. so he calls 911. guess who shows up?

ian. of course it's ian. so they treat yev and get everything sorted out, but fuck, if watching mickey be a good dad isn't, for some fucking reason, the hottest thing ian's ever seen. and he misses him! by this point, he misses him so goddamn bad. can't get mickey out of his head. so he says, hey, you still have my number. give me a call in a couple days, let me know how yev's doing. i can come check on him, change the bandages.

and mickey calls him that night, actually. ian's like, did something happen, is yev okay? and mickey says, yeah he's fine. do you want to get dinner. and ian says yes, jesus christ, please.

and they're like, actually pretty normal from then on out. they remain ian and mickey, so of course there's ups and downs. but they're ian and mickey again.

[thecoolerliauditore]

had a whole ask written out about impulse’s character but JUST as i was about to hit send my page reloaded. here’s a shorter version (keep in mind that i haven’t Properly watched his pov in a while, mostly the odd episode now and again)

impulse’s Nice Friendly Dependable Guy deal is genuine he really is like that

he is also nearly martyn levels of sneaky bitch (see: all of his third life + a clip from a portal 2 co-op vod where he calls skizz a slut)

he prefers to let others call the shots and just Enable them. (see: every time he’s teamed up with grian. in last life he MANUALLY GRINDED WITHER SKELETONS so grian could have his wither)

he’s good at social deduction games like among us and blood in the clocktower, and an excellent liar to anyone but skizz (who knows all his tells)

his insane grudge holding. he sits on grudges like my chicken at home sits on eggs (all the time)

honorable mention to the moment in secret life when he figured out what gem and bdubs were doing way before anyone else did and Volunteered for them to kill him so he could murder people

webbed site did that to me too when i was writing out stuff abt impdubs AWESOME.

ok ok im glad im not. completely wrong about Impulse these pretty much fall in line with what I know. The third point is very real considering his whole thing in secret life (I hate those guys). Only thing I was very not aware of was the social deduction thing because I'll be honest I didn't pay too much attention to the among us lore and the only thing i remember impulse doing in that era was this one clip where he stumbled over himself really badly he ended up somehow accusing the entire room.

[pommunist]

In relation to the "Quackity was losing money from the qsmp!!!" point that people bring up in defence of him, like... tbh in my opinion quackity probably could have made quite a bit of money in subs and donos if he ever actually... streamed on his server.....

Via twitchtracker from march 2023 to march 2024 (this is the timeline i use for all numbers/averages in this unless otherwise stated, also i use 1 year for emphasis sometimes even when meaning 13 months, start of march last year to end of march this year) The highest amount of subs quackity (on his main channel, quackitytoo's subs stats arent available) has received within a month (ie. subcount at end of month) is 2.7k in august 2023, with quite a few months dipping below 1k, and the lowest being just over 500 in july 2023 (Though he also only streamed once in the entire month, so this is understandable), coming to an average of 1.6k subs/month. While his average viewer count across those 13 months was about 35.1K, with a high of just under 65k average in august 2023, and a low of 22k average in january. (This is across all categories of game/just chatting)

Only 48 of quackity's main channel streams (67 total if im not miscounting) in that time were under the category minecraft (71%), with over half of them being in the first 4 months of qsmp (really mostly the first 3 months because it started in late march). With only 13 streams in the category in the latter half of 2023, and 8 in 2024.

To compare, ill use badboyhalo as an example: (Im using him because the vast majority of his streams were qsmp until recently, and i didnt want someone to try and say "but they stream other things!" to discredit this (even though so does quackity), and of the other streamers who have been on the qsmp since the start either a) They "stream other stuff" (ie. not qsmp, including other minecraft like phil's hardcore) often so it "wouldnt count", b) Their subs arent tracked on twitchtracker (its opt-in), or c) They stopped playing on the server/very very rarely play on the server so i cant accurately compare the full timeline. I could have probably also used foolish but bbh came to mind first (And his sub stats weirdly stop tracking in october 2023? I assume because that's when he changed his twitch channel name?))

Bbh's highest number of subs in a month was may 2023 with 4k, with his lowest being just under 400 in march 2023 (only 4 streams that month, so again this is understandable), across march'23-march'24, he got an average of 1.8k subs/month. To compare viewers, bbh's average viewcount across those 13 months was 3.7k (nearly 10 times lower than quackity), with his lowest being 1.7k average viewers in march 2024, and highest being 6k average viewers in september 2023. (again across all categories)

(Im not counting by hand all the times he's streamed in the category minecraft, but seeing as its nearly daily its over 300)

Of course, you could use the argument "Bbh streams every day for so long!", and like... Yeah. He does. In the past 13 months bbh has streamed for 2.1k hours. Quackity has streamed 106. One hundred and six hours. Quackity has streamed on his main channel less in a year than bbh streams in one month (avg 163 hours/month if anyone's wondering). And yet their average subs/month are only about 200 apart. No wonder hes apparently too broke to pay his employees fairly.

At time of sending this ask quackity has 6.3 million followers on twitch, bbh has 2.6 million. They have a drastic difference in followers and viewcount, and yet their subcounts are still so shockingly close to eachother.

If quackity needed money to pay for server costs or to pay his employees that badly he definitely could have made more by doing his job streaming more consistently. He doesn't even need to do it as much or as often as bbh does, seeing as hes already very close to bbh in average subs/month on his main channel with his incredibly low number of streams.

And again none of this factors in quackity's streams on his second channel, where he streams more often and for longer, because twitchtracker doesnt track that channel's subcount (again, it's opt-in) so i cant factor that in to how much he hypothetically makes. But as for the other stats on quackitytoo: 35.7k avg viewers, 168 total hours streamed (13 hrs/month), 65 streams in the category minecraft (march 23rd-now, though i might be off by a couple, my brain is fried for numbers at this point), and 4.6 million followers. Based on this, he most likely has a similar or higher amount of subs than his main channel on that one.

And this entire thing doesn't factor in donations at all seeing as that is a 3rd party thing and not something twitchtracker tracks.

Sidenote about the "in the category minecraft" thing: twitchtracker will include a stream in the category stats even if you forgot to change categories before starting stream playing/doing something else. So there are some "minecraft" streams where the time spent in the category is under 15 minutes, or if a stream crashes and restarts it will count as a separate stream. I still tried to count these to give the most benefit of the doubt

(In case anyone is curious about the foolish stats: (again across all categories, seeing as he does play quite a bit of valorant), viewers avg 6.7k/month, total hours streamed 2.4k, avg 190 hrs/month, subs avg (march-october 2023 because of the lack of tracking afterwards) 6.7k/month, ~250 streams in the category minecraft, and 2.1mil followers. Also, before anyone complains about only using english streamers to compare, the only spanish speaking streamer whos been on qsmp from the start and still logged on consistently through the entire year is roier, and his subs also arent tracked. And none of the other languages were there from the very start.)

Sorry about how long this ask got (i bolded the numbers to make skimming easier for anyone who's not reading all that). I just got so curious about people defending Q by saying how the server running costs meant paying his employees fairly was too expensive that i went to check the actual stats, and i was kinda shocked by how low everything but viewcount was. Of course, I never believed quackity was a "millionare" by any standard, but im also not a viewer of his so i didn't know how much/how often (how little/how rarely*) he actually streamed.

And as a final thing, I have no idea how truly accurate twitchtracker's subcount numbers are (and the wording is a bit confusing on the graphs, which is what i interpreted as "# subs at end of month/subs gained within month" seeing as subs last 30 days (i think?)), as I'm not a streamer and I don't personally subscribe to any streamers. I just know that streamers themselves see it as accurate enough for the "highest current/all-time subcount" records. So i guess that's to say disclaimer: this is all just estimates.

WHAT THE HELL ANON ? Ever thought of having a career in financial/statistical analysis because if not maybe you should consider.

I’ll admit that I don’t know anything about how exactly twitch revenue works so I can’t really make comments on what you just said, but I’ll leave it here for anyone who may be interested in the numbers side of things and this seems like quite the thorough investigation.

I just wanna add that, depending of the societal form of the company, Individual fund may be separated from company funds. Aka Quackity’s money ≠ Qstudios money.

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

the online DID community is very toxic. its honestly anti healing. it hinders healing. the online DID community is all about whining about how bad DID is for you and never seeing the bright side of having alters. if we do that, we're called cringe and accused of faking. they just focus on "im dissociating so badly idk my name!" and all the other bad parts of having DID. they are so stuck on sharing every single symptom they have, and im just trying to find systems i relate to. i dont wanna hear "im so disoriented, i feel like im in a dream, i switch with blackouts like every day" when thats not even how many DID systems experience DID- greyouts happen way more often. and not everyone with DID is disoriented by dissociation every second nor do they dissociate every second. the symptom exaggeration is all anyone will see in the online DID community especially on r/DID. when i first found out i could have DID, during the diagnostic process, we joined r/DID and it caused us damage. we felt like we werent valid and self harmed so much, we couldnt wear shorts without the scars being visible for nearly two years. i thought i wasnt valid but i wanted to be, and id exaggerate symptoms the same way most of the online DID community does. i had to leave those toxic spaces to learn that people with DID dont always dissociate every living moment theyre awake, dont always dissociate severely to the point its disorienting most of the time, dont always have blackout amnesia between every switch, dont always notice signs they have it. where did i learn the information about DID that saved my life? therapists and psychologists who worked with real DID patients, and from some systems- some DID systems who were pro recovery and some endogenic systems. the online DID community has this view that you have to suffer 24/7 and hate your alters to be valid, and when i gained knowledge and was free of that group, i felt more valid and could work on healing. i fused alters more than i split them, i was able to start making an accurate timeline of what i remember, i had more memories come back and was able to process them safely. this isnt a callout on a whole community, its just a personal experience, all i see is negativity in the online DID community and that hindered our healing. some DID systems online have helped us, but its mostly been therapists and psychologists. moral of the story: dont trust everything you see online. social media doesnt accurately show how the world works. especially when it comes to mental health. a lot of people use social media to seek attention, exaggerate their real disorders for attention, or vent their frustrations when they cant safely do it irl. most of the stuff in the online DID community, including syscourse, is all influenced by emotion not by logic, so its not 100% real. its okay to not be involved in the online community for your mental disorder. its okay to take breaks from it when it gets too much to deal with. do whats right for you.

[mousemilf]

i have some weird form of anxiousness where normal things don't scare me but drugs, noise and sex do. I've still had sex (all bad except one public gangbang party on vacation, which wasn't even awkward) but drugs are mega illegal here. Career-endingly. This might be a stupid question, but did you start out unafraid of everything? I've been agonizingly scared of all vice all my life, and I'm not from a Christian house or even country. I don't get it! Is it an autism thing? Who even knows? But yes, were you scared of doing drugs and living a high risk lifestyle before starting?

setting aside the wildness that a public gangbang scared u less than other sex, which i think is awesome, i have like, 2 main things to say abt this, one being that i dont really live a high-risk lifestyle currently, i havent done anything besides alcohol in nearly a year and im mostly just settled into a monogamous relationship and being responsible abt my career. my life is generally just a lot better w me being mostly sober and i desperately want to keep this streak going actually. its the majority of what ive been working on in therapy.

the second thing is that even though i may have wound up doing the same thing and i definitely had some desire of my own to experience drugs, i was essentially groomed into drug use by my ex. which has also been something im trying to work on accepting and understanding. i dont think i would have done a lot of what i have were it not for that. by no means am i fully blaming him for my behavior wrt drugs, but it was a factor.

both of those things being said, i don't think i was very afraid. i grew up extremely sheltered which gave me this sickass combo of wanting so so desperately to rebel in any way possible and also not really understanding the seriousness of the consequences. i call this the "all things are equally bad" effect: if u tell ur kid not to listen to secular music with the same weight as u tell them not to take drugs, they might listen to music and think hey, that wasnt so bad, my parents were wrong, i might as well take this unknown pill from a stranger.

i also tend to be a little bit risk-seeking naturally, even in areas that people would see as positive and are beneficial to me. like applying to jobs without experience, traveling alone, etc. i think its just a dispositional thing to an extent.

anyway. i dont think you should necessarily be afraid of stuff like that, because its def possible to be responsible around sex and drugs. but having anxiety abt them can in itself make things go badly, and i think youd be right to trust your gut on these things and not put yourself in situations that would trigger the anxiety.

[navree]

https://www.tumblr.com/navree/727281176414420992/what-do-u-think-about-zeglar-and-how-she-talks?source=share

Gotta agree with a lot of ur points. So many male actors out there that they didnt read/watch the source material of the character their playing and get no shit but the moment a female actress say that all hell breaks loose.

From what I have seen it seems like the problem most people have with her is how she spoke negatively about og snow white and its plot and themes and characters. And there was that whole thing with the drawfs (im not going into that rabbit hole).

Personally the girl seems nice. Its easy to see that shes new to the scene. And she seems to ramble (?) say things without thinking them through ( ppl call her a pr nightmare 💀) (apparently this has happened before). But overall she seems nice and lovely.

The only thing that i found a bit eye raising was her saying her costar on film who plays the prince can just be cut out of the movie which was a bit ??? Though i can tell she didn't mean this badly or negatively (atleast i hope).

The thing that's so baffling to me is we've had people actively hating the source material of the movie/TV show they're adapting and most everyone was fine with it. Robert Pattinson (my beloved) spent nearly his entire time in the Twilight franchise actively hating everything his character did and every plotpoint in the books and the movies, and nobody batted an eye. But now Rachel said something about this movie nobody's even seen yet and isn't even done filming and it's World War 3? What?

The thing to me is that, OK, she said something that was perceived as disparaging to the original movie. So? Maybe she said that the plot wasn't that interesting or that the characters are flat or the themes basic to nonexistent, beyond the fact that she wouldn't be wrong to say any of that because it's all true (no shade if you like that movie, but it is a bit basic compared to even other classic Disney movies like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, and it makes sense that it's flat because, again, it was the first of the Disney animated movies that would solidify its brand), but genuinely: who cares? Literally who cares if a Disney movie of almost a hundred years old is being lightly disparaged for two minutes? Why are you (not you anon, but the collective you, the royal we type of you) so upset about it? Is your identity so desperately and intrinsically tied into the concept of 1937's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves as created by the Walt Disney company that the lightest critique is tantamount to a personal attack?

Listen, I get having strong feelings about favorite movies, even favorite Disney movies. My favorite movie of all time is most likely The Lion King, I find it a practically perfect film and beyond my enjoyment, it is something that's fundamentally tied into my relationship with my father in a way only he and I share, I get having an emotional connection to these kinds of movies even as an adult. But if y'all are pitching a hissy fit because Rachel might be pulling an RPatz, that's for you to sort out with a responsible adult, or in therapy, not go and be gross on Twitter for no reason.

Also again, this movie has not come out yet, it's not even finished filming, we can't be doing discourse about something literally only partially completed, it's like complaining you know a cake is gonna taste bad because you put it in the oven five minutes ago and it still looks like mostly batter.

[aurazoo]

for my whole life, before I came out, while I still was in high school, my whole life was about carving out alone time (I lived in a single wide trailer, me my three siblings my mom her boyfriend and the dude who slept on our couch. I shared a room with my two brothers until 11th grade).

I wore my headphones all the time at home, constantly listening to any music I could, I used to go to the movies weekly by myself (I did the up until I moved to buffalo), I tried to live in my own world and I was pretty successful too. I mean I hung out with friends as much as I could, but by far most of my time was in my world, just like consuming mass amounts of media to block life out.

In high school I went to a few concerts, mostly by myself and with my mom who would drive me (ty mom) but not with friends. it was cool but I did not get into it the same way I got into my CD player.

In my college years (the height of my depression, oddly enough) my friends finally started going to shows with me, and it was like a whole other world. I fucking danced and holy shit did I want to. not even with my friends, just knowing I was experiencing the same thing as them was what changed it. for the first time I was like, truly sharing my escapism with those around me, those I knew, those I loved.

it's odd, since coming out and having my life completely and entirely changed, I haven't really had the kinds of relationships or friendships I did at that time in my life. I'm so much happier in general, but in a lot of ways, I feel more isolated. I don't really go to shows that much any more, going alone is hard and the few friends I have really aren't "going out types" (for various reasons, all cool).

about 2-3 months ago I started getting into dance music for the first time in while, and more into it than nearly ever. I think it was kinda to cope with being alone in the winter, making my headphones feel like im not alone. the curse is these past months of dancing alone in my house is rapidly building up and needs release, I want so fucking badly to go out and be surrounded by sound and people and then just fucking the feeling of elation after, the cool air on my sweaty skin.

I'd like a friend to do this with, to dance and lose myself and it feels effortless. I know I need to go to shows alone to move myself forward. I know I just need to get out there and dance (and be the only masked person doing it). but it would be so much easier with a friend who wanted to as well.

[danidoesathing]

I think an even split between "Mage Viktor's Time Travel BS causing a buildup", "the Hexgates pissing off the Arcane", and "Separating the chaotic and orderly components of magic and draining one hand away" is a good explanation. Like, they didn't really understand the risks or what they were doing, since no one ever did it before-and the Arcane is an actual force of nature that can get angry, and ripping the magic in half would likely cause it some pain. But the Time Travel is ABSOLUTELY a huge component.

(League has had Hextech for 30 years, so they have a better understanding of it in the present. So they might've had to deal with an anomaly in the past-but in the present, things are fine.)

Or maybe (and this is the funnier, Crack Interpretation) the problem is that Jayce and Viktor specifically are the ones who invented it. It wouldn't have been as bad if literally anyone else made Hextech-but those two are low-key unhinged Mad Scientists with terminal codependency in literally every timeline. (Even League-they're just more "Toxic Exes/Kismesis" about it.) They would break reality for each other-so them inventing Hextech was always going to end Badly.

(My own take on the Arcane Apocalypse is that the Arcane was pissed at Piltover for trying to cage it and tame it for their own ends, and wanted to wipe it off the map as a punishment for their hubris. But Viktor ended up seriously escalating things beyond what even it expected-and ended up razing most, if not all, of Runeterra in the process. (The Hive Mind was mostly Viktor-the Hexcore may be responsible for creating it, but Viktor chose to escalate and extend it to all of Runeterra.) Basically, the Arcane went "Oh, this guy with a lot of buried anger at the system looks like a good Herald for our wrath-wait, no, what are you doing that's going way too far ABORT-")

(This is mostly because the idea of the Arcane choosing Viktor as a vessel/Herald of its wrath, only to realize too late that it bit off more than it could chew with him, is just really funny to me.)

oh im sure the time travel thing is a huge fucking factor (although i thought hextech been around for longer?? it says it was made aroudn the year 900 in the wiki but im not sure what the "present" time in the lore is so??) my own theory is is that the anomaly is present in this universe, but as mage Viktor has no reason to interfere + MH Viktor never gets his DNA entangled with it it's currently dormant. it could, theoretically, still be a major fucking issue if anywhere were to find or tamper with it, but as of now poses no immediate threat in it's state. that or the Arcane inherently works differently across different timelines (depending on how close they are to each other, the more similar the effects are. ie the arcane timeline, the wasteland timeline and the au timeline ekko visits are all nearly identical in terms of the laws of physics and magic, but say the League or Gilded timelines are more "far away" and have more divergent parts, and are therefore different).

it is hilarious that in the timelines where they get along well and are nicer to other people is the one they actively fuck up the most. the most chill versions of yourself ruin the most timelines.

i dont really agree with the interpretation that the arcane is actively trying to punish them. I don't think the arcane itself has a consciousness (at least not on it's own. it's possible that getting a hold of Viktor's mind could've infused it with his and might be the reason the arcane/anomaly/whatever the fuck is pushing so hard for a hivemind, but thats a whole other potential theory), as it's more of a cosmic force of nature than anything. it cant really get angry or enact wrath but if the natural order is tempered with it has consequences, as it would with any ecosystem.

BUT ITS SO FUNNY THE IDEA OF THE ARCANE GOING alright. time to use one of these stupid science bitches to deal out the wrath of the arcane. this one has a lot of pent up emotion too. we can control this guy no problem. and then immediately realizing this was the WORST POSSIBLE VESSEL it could've picked because 1. hes mastered wild magic at an alarming speed and 2. using him as a vessel is actively accelerating the instability between realms. and then when it tries to bail it cant cause it fused with his consciousness and turned him into a god and oh fuck they're using drugs to make him even more powerful shit shit shit abort abort ABORT-

[moonfurthetemmie]

Imagine that Deimos managed to stop them from summoning Yighraru and get rid of the ones touched by it only to get affected/touched himself

hehehe

i think you and i share part of a braincell

I'm not certain if 'get rid of the ones touched by it' means killing them or getting rid of their corruption, but honestly both options are tasty.

And I'm certain that, whichever option we go with, it's right as he's about to destroy the rings for good that it takes him; like Isildur in Lord of the Rings

If he kills all of them, he's tormented by it. Constantly. Especially what he did to Phobos. It just makes it easier for the rings to push him over the edge. He'll go mad in other ways, too, and think Phobos is still with him, watching. Angry. Bitter. Hurt. Judging.

Gonzalo and Petruccio probably come back to haunt him, too, though not nearly as much as Phobos does. Those two weren't very important to him, but they could've been. He did like them before he thought they were stealing Phobos from him. But all they truly wanted was for all of them to stay together in Yighraru's realm. And he killed them for it.

He'll vow to 'repent for his sins', which just means he's going to (try to) do what Gonzalo and Petruccio were doing. But he knows now that to summon Yighraru he needs one other to wield the other ring and help with the ritual, and a third to be the vessel. He keeps the rings very very safe, but won't put them on until he finds someone he believes he could trust.

He is very manipulative; far more than Petruccio and Gonzalo were, and it's only going to get worse now. This person will likely be chosen mostly by how much he likes them and how easily he can manipulate and lie to them. They, much like Phobos, will not realize what he's doing to them. Ever. They will become completely enthralled, just like him, and not even question it. The chances of someone stopping him and his new 'friend' are way lower than his chances of stopping Gonzalo and Petruccio had been.

but in the meantime there's clearly something so, so wrong with him. he looks like he's seen something horrible. He'll be crying and saying 'im sorry' over and over and then just start laughing suddenly. still crying. He's obviously hearing voices and seeing shit (but the voices are real) and he keeps talking about making things right and welcoming some 'master' into their world or something?? he's off his rocker. bro needs help. so much help.

most people are too afraid to talk to him. he's not afraid of talking to them, though.

If they don't die, though, and he just gets rid of their corruption, he probably went to destroy the rings alone. Isabella and Phobos (but especially Isabella, after what those two did to her) are not dealing with this well. With what they've done. The others decide to keep an eye on them, and it never occurs to anyone that maybe they shouldn't let Deimos go alone to destroy the cursed whispering rings.

He's resisted this long. He'll be fine.

But he's exhausted. Mentally. It took so much to keep away, and to figure out any solution that didn't hurt Phobos too badly. And for a moment, he lets his guard down.

Deimos doesn't return to the manor. It's a long time before anyone sees him again, and they fear the worst.

He shows up in the middle of the night, just to find Phobos, and Phobos is horrified to find that they were right.

Deimos offers him the gold ring. Asks Phobos to forgive him for what he's done.

He very heavily implies that he actually brainwashed everyone instead of getting rid of some eldritch corruption, but now he's seen the light and knows that Yighraru isn't to be feared etc etc

Phobos can't even answer for a while. He's in no headspace to deal with this, no idea what to do.

He almost does accept.

And then he remembers fighting Deimos when Gonzalo and Petruccio were performing the ritual. How desperate Deimos was to stop those two, how hard he tried to get Phobos out of the way without hurting him. The pain on his face when Phobos attacked him.

That wasn't an act.

This...? No. No, this wasn't right.

He tells Deimos his head's still a little fucked up and to give him some time. Deimos offers to stay with him until the morning.

For the first time in a very, very long time, the last thing Phobos wants is for Deimos to stay with him

Fortunately someone else was up and heard them talking, and Deimos left. But not without promising Phobos he won't let them be torn apart like that again.

Phobos now has to stop Deimos from this fucking eldritch god-summoning bullshit.

Fortunately, he's got a lot of people who want to help.

Unfortunately, Deimos knows exactly what Antonio, Sortino, and Francisco will try. So. no advantage there.

They might be fucked!

[kaidragonclaw]

Zoril Vyer

Race: Asmodeus Tiefling

Gender: Male

Age: 20 (Beginning of Neverwinter) 22 (Icewind Dale) 32 (Jungles of Chult) 52 (BG3) 53 (Actual Retirement) 63+ (Lich transformation)

Class: Wizard

Alignment: Lawful Good

Makos Vyer

Makos only exists in the Neverwinter MMORPG and unfortunately got sidelined a lot, there is very little known about him so I didn't go much into his personality and mostly everything but when he met Zoril, when he died, how you meet him in Chult as a Lich and age 56 is not cannon (Makos pronounced is "Make oh ss")

Race: Asmodeus Tiefling (Tiefling Lich later)

Gender: Male

Age: 56 (Beginning of Neverwinter, Cannon age), 58 (Icewind Dale, Alive), 68 (Jungles of Chult, Lich) 88 (BG3, Lich) 98+ (Lich with Zoril)

Class: Warlock

Where he was created

I made him in the Neverwinter MMORPG originally on my PS4 before I got my PS5 in late 2022

In Neverwinter (the MMORPG)

In game, he fought hundreds of battles and slayed many foes, I imagine he has done every available campaign in the game (I have not finished them all but im slowly trying to) the list of campaigns is:

DREAD RING

STORM KING'S THUNDER

ICEWIND DALE

THE CLOAKED ASCENDANCY

JUNGLES OF CHULT

RAVENLOFT

DESCENT INTO AVERNUS

PATH OF THE FALLEN

DRAGONSLAYER

SHARANDAR

DRAGONBONE VALE

NORTHDARK REACHES

MENZOBERRANZAN

DEMONWEB PITS

LIGHT OF XARYXIS

Relationship with Makos

They met when Zoril washed up on the shores of Neverwinter when it was under attack and it was love at first sight for Zoril, but due to their age difference Makos was very hesitant in returning the feelings (Zoril was 20 and Makos has 56 at the time that they met) but after a year of working together and saving the city they decided to try things slowly but only a year after the relationship Makos died on a mission protecting their group of heros (this actually happened in Neverwinter, Icewind Dale) and as the others were fleeing just before he died, Makos threw he was planning to propose to Zoril with at the ship the others were on.

For many years Zoril was depressed and 10 long were he focused on nothing but adventuring and saving people, spending little to no time on himself his health started to slowly fall. That changed when Zoril and a group of heros went on a simple adventure to the Jungles of Chult, they found Makos but he had been revived as a Lich and despite that Zoril ran to him and they were reunited. They married shortly after

Retirement

After another 20 years of being champions, Zoril and Makos decided to officially retire from adventure. Zoril became a Baker in Neverwinter and Makos continued to rid the streets of criminals by using their souls to sustain him, while also trying to find a way to extend Zoril's lifespan infinitely without a risky and death Lich transformation

Baldur's Gate 3

When he was taken by The Nautiloid Zoril was on a walk with Makos, Zoril tried to save a few civilians but was caught by the ship while Makos could only watch in horror as the ship escaped with him, when the dragon attacked the ship it nearly burnt his face off and left him with a nasty scar. Makos quickly tracked him down due to a charm they both had allowing them to teleport directly to each other and has been following Zoril and the rest of the companions for the entire journey (story is still ongoing)

Lich

After the events of BG3, Zoril's health started to decline so he finally let Makos do the ritual to transform him into an Lich and now they live out their days together hunting criminals for their souls and keeping the peace while also taking it easy

-----

Apologies if this reads badly im not a writer, there are so many more things I wana share about him and Makos but I don't know how to put it into words

Here are some pictures of them in Neverwinter

Makos is the one with lighter skin in both sets of pictures

And some of them in bg3!

[ibolyafagyi]

im just a gworl and lets call it what it is my mind is tormenting meee

i finished my first week interning and it didnt go badly and also i am overwhelmed and so tired, so why is my mind racing with this work stuff? its so fucking difficult being hyperfocused on tasks and pleasing people. i hate that im balancing my need for rest/4 day work week so i can go to therapy with the deep deep unrelenting and larger than me gut urge to do well and match the speed (ppl be coming in on SUNDAYS) and i hate that other people tell me to assert myself cuz im not paid that well like its EASY and i hate that my work friends (diff dept.) are like wow you need to calm down its fine becuase their need to calm me down registers as Another outside impulse that i need to fix myself up, pulls me in another direction --- while i appreciate their care, how am i supposed to not stack this on the care pile?

i hate that i care but i know that its my biggest strength also 😭 i hate that i cannot just switch to not caring after clocking out, i am not getting paid nearly enough for this. i remember and cringe at minute interactions and wrack my brain for ways to do better and my mind just cant let it go. "this is your purpose now, you have to do well" and doing well means anxiety and hyperfocus

i wanted a purpose but i dont want this

and my mind wanders to other places too, like ill miss out on time w my loved ones (my bf) by being seven to six at work, then summer ends and fall semester starts and ill be doing shit and then preparing shit for the exchange semester and then and then and then and he will be disappointed in me and we cant spend time together (anxious attachment) and i havent texted back that friend still and i need to write to my therapist that i cant go next week but i need to talk to her for MY NEEDS which are also in a weird way an external need enforced on me to not be so weird and panicky, but I CANT talk to her anyways

i get advice like i have to take care of myself and find myself and hold onto myself and assert myself and shit but HOW. WHAT does that even mean. i couldnt do it when i wasnt busy, i cant do it now. my mind is empty and i mostly think im just a shell for average qualities and withering passions towards anything other than the stronger than steel determination to make people say i do things well and im capable.