#im not built for sadness im not a sad person i hate this so much

[snekdood]

im not gonna say you cant use the n word w a hard r on a almost fully anonymous tumblr account where you claim to be black-

I will say that it makes you 100% more suspicious and worth keeping an eye out on you bc usually its neo nazis pretending to be black that spam saying the n word w an r and use tumblrs weird trust for almost fully anonymous accounts to their advantage to get away w it

you can say it, but, if you Are a neo nazi pretending to be black, I will say, you're not doing a good job of convincing me rn that you actually are.

[honeytonedhottie]

CONFIDENCE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

i've reached a point where my confidence genuinely cannot be shaken by anything, like all the shadow work and everything is rly paying off and having confidence makes everything in life so much better so i wanna talk about it 🍭

GAINING CONFIDENCE = GAINING SELF LOVE ;

to begin with, confidence is not gained over night and its something thats built and honed with time. so be patient with yourself! confidence always stems from self love.

self love is the most important thing ever. no matter what u have to know that ur gonna love yourself thru THICK and THIN. ur the only one with u 24/7.

make ur mind a palace, treat ur body like a temple, give urself the tender love and care that u DESERVE 🧁💕

GET COMFY IN UR OWN SKIN ; 

i feel like the most confident people are dancers. i feel this way cuz of the way my own confidence SKYROCKETED after i started dancing. i feel like dancing gives u a sense of control over ur own body and its just amazing.

whenever i feel like i need a little boost of confidence or i wanna feel sexy and good in my own skin i DANCE. and i promise that it helps so so much. i dance around in my room all the time and it’s like therapy. 

embarrassment does NOT exist, stop making urself feel awkward or embarrassed for making mistakes sometimes, learn to laugh and not take everything so seriously.

MENTAL DIET ; 

honestly in my experience, manifesting has played a huge role in my self confidence and my self concept. honestly, self concept work goes hand in hand with self confidence work.

keeping a strict mental diet has made my self concept untouchable so definitely get into that. so SAY UR AFFIRMATIONS, dont EVER bully yourself etc.

SAY NO ; 

something about a confident person, they can ADVOCATE for themselves and they know how to say no/im not comfortable with _. practice saying no more and being in control of ur time.

some words that u can add to ur vocabulary to be more confident and advocate for urself properly is "absolutely not" or simply NO. theres so much power in the word NO so make sure to use it more.

THE MUSIC ; 

the music that u listen to on a regular day to day basis rly have an impact on ur mind for either better or for worse depending on what ur listening to. 

steer clear of music that talks about things like self loathing or self hate and instead go for songs that uplift you. a lot of the time when ppl bring up the relationship between the songs u listen to and ur mindset a misconception that ppl have is that like, u can���t listen to emotional or sad songs and that’s NOT TRUE. u can listen to sad songs and still be a confident, bad bitch.

HONEYS HOT TIPS ;

probably TMI but something that rly helps confidence is when u match ur bras to ur panties (IDEK WHAT IT IS) like the confidence boost is insane. when u look good -> you feel good.

again, embarrassment does NOT exist

no one is above you and no one is beneath you

surround urself with other confident individuals so that they can uplift u and u all can LEARN from each other, cuz the people u surround urself with matters.

[wonillaa]

enha boyfriend thoughts :(

heeseung ♡

- “honey, i’m home”

- started saying it as a joke but now its illegal to come through the door without saying it

- shared playlists

- cute dates :( dog/cat cafes, karaoke

- voice messages + random selfies

- prefers to just stay in and lay with you

- unspoken love for each other

- actions > words

- still makes sure to send good morning and goodnight texts tho 🫡

jay ♡

- he’s so endearing LMAO

- the care you’d get when you’re sick ..

- you’re eating so good w/ him

- i think matching small things like jewelry or jackets

- surprise gifts ☹️

- sprays his cologne on your stuffed animals for you to feel closer when you aren’t together

- always making sure you’re comfortable

- layers you until you’re waddling like a penguin in the winter . he does not care

- involving you in everything he’s interested in + always info dumping on things

- uses you as a model for outfits

jake ♡

- bf jake makes me so sad

- pictures of you in his wallet

- has playlists of songs that remind him of you

- so many dates

- hikes maybe ? idk i think he’d like being in nature with you

- gym partners

- he says you’re his motivation so he needs you there lmao

- has a separate album in his camera roll of pictures of you and him

sunghoon ♡

- his love language is being annoying /j

- he reminds me of winter </3

- zips your coat up and puts your hat + gloves on

- throws snow, leaves or even grass at you no matter the season + if you bake together flour will end up all over you

- baby talks to you bc he knows you hate it

- you frequent a coffee shop together and get a drink every morning 🙁

- sends you gym mirror pics .. ha ha 🤗

- he’d be so sweet tho everything he does is out of love 😞

sunoo ♡

- your relationship is built on impulsive acts

- you walk either every morning or night like an old married couple

- everything is so perfect with him (◞‸◟)

- he’s so loving and praises you for just breathing

- you take turns giving each other massages and playing with each others hair

- so much affection :(

- he just wants to experience everything with you and see the world together

- cheek kisses

- my biggest wish is sunoo getting the most love in this world im devastated

jungwon ♡

- jungwon 😭😭😭😭<3

- has a note in his phone dedicated to all your favorite things, allergies, etc

- reads you so well he’s like a part of you

- if your mom/parent has a facebook he’d def follow it

- he’s a fan of all love languages

- clingy jungwon .. 💔

- steals your stuff and always in your personal space

- he’s so cute

- makes sure you stay on top of taking care of yourself , if you’re too tired to brush your teeth or wash your face he’s doing it for you

niki ♡

- he’s so childish and maybe a little evil

- i think he’d really feel bad if he took things too far 😭

- he lives to tease you he’s like a mini sunghoon but worse

- makes fake photocards of you and shows you his collection

- refuses pet names

- the most you’re getting is ‘my love’ everything else he uses is to bribe you for something or to mess with you

- please take him bowling . the amount of times he’s asked for someone to go with him is truly getting sad

- just dance competitions

- he likes everything if you’re involved

- he whispers his favorite things about you + how much he loves you while you’re asleep ☹️ he’s shy

[lyss-sketchbox]

Ok coming off anon because I'm trying to conquer the constant social anxiety lmao (same person who sent you Longass Thoughts on Natlan AQ) - SO YEAH personally I like Ei's character but foaming a bit at the mouth because I feel like my favorite parts of her character (namely she was NOT ready to be the archon when makoto kicked the bucket, she's got that good ol' warrior-weapon mindset knocking around in there- having her actually confront the ugly truth of the consequences of her actions was such a missed opportunity. it would've been SO good to see her actually get confronted personally without any sugarcoating. i think her learning to be less of a shitty archon would've been so much better then)

also like. im sure there were a lot of ways to improve Inazuma's story but personally i thought it would've been cooler if kokomi was a bit more. morally grey lmao. like willing to do not-so-nice things to fight god because that's what they're doing. mortals attempting to defy the god that holds dominion over their land (bc the electro archon isn't really Watatsumi's god specifically!! bc uh lmao ei killed him lol)

but yea for real in natlan every "serious problem" was severely undercut by "actually it's all good now" like "kachina is totally fine after being chased by the abyss in the afterlife, she was protected by the wayob so it's all good and she's also mentally ok" and it's like what. what are you talking about.

AND THE ARchON thing i feel like im the only one who has a gripe. tbf the story is not done yet BUT MY QUESTION IS CELESTIA ALLOWED A HUMAN (MULTIPLE EVEN) TO ASCend to the divine throne???? Like what??? IT feels like it runs counter to everything-

and like uh feels like we got really really far away from like. when you talk about the archon war in liyue it was a literal bloodbath. sacrifices upon sacrifices were made, the modern day liyue was built upon the corpses of friend and foe alike because there was no other choice. you couldn't abstain, you would die.

but in natlan???? no gods??? what???? im just losing it more than a bit over here that natlan is trying simultaneously to be a grim land of constant war but also sunshine friendship and rainbows.

at this point im prepared to be disappointed and just crossing my fingers the good writing comes back for snezhnaya's AQ bc if they fuck up snezhnaya i will literally never forgive them

Its all good man, youre so welcome to debate and talk off anon, we may disagree but never hate.

Im putting all my ramblings under cut since its gonna be as equally long and spoilery hdjsnsn

About Ei

I completely forgot about how Ei was originally a kagemusha, a weapon for her sister, her sister did all the archon work while Ei simply stood by her side. Its makes perfect sense that after the death of her sister, she would make very bad not thought out decisions and because she is an archon now, those bad decisions has really really bad aftermaths.

I personally do not have any gripes about her being basically clueless about the outside world. Grief manifests in different ways and locking yourself away and justifying it as a twisted way to gain enlightment of eternity the way your sister did, it can make sense. It is a consequence!! She is clueless of how to be an archon and what is going on in her nation, her SQ could have been used to show her trying to understand and emphatize with her people to be a better archon. NOT A REASON TO MAKE HER AN uwu sad defenseless waifu cant cook and doesnt know anything. Brother she fucking killed people and almost destroyed her nation.

About Kokomi

I like the idea of morally grey kokomi actually. It makes alot of sense. Kokomi and the watatsumi people might have some vishap descendance but they are still humans, even less so with visions. Theyre also lacking the supplies and expertise needed to continue a war with an entire nation and its archon. It would make sense that she would accept the fatuis help since they share the sentiment of 'getting to inazuma and its archon'.

But it was shown she wasnt even aware who the anonymous donor is, hell she wasnt aware people where using delusions until people starts dying. And for a girl who wrote an entire guide book with 100 different alternate plans, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING...............

About Natlan's system

Yeah they really brushed off the dying part and potentially being stuck in genshin limbo if you dont get out in time too casually. The tiny child you retrieved from limbo also is... very chill and not mentally scarred or anything, she wasnt putting up a brave face, she was simply unaffected?????? One on kachina's voiceovers is gonna talk about her death but im not friendship 4 with her yet. I hope it explains SOMETHING.

Yeah the first time i heard that the archon was human and has been replaced multiple times had me gawking too, i can excuse that Celestia has been strangely inactive FOR NOW.

I wanted to bring up how the hydro archon throne being broken and Neuvi regaining his sovernity didnt even call Celestia to action but GUESS WHAT??? I DONT KNOW IF NATLAN HAPPENED BEFORE OR AFTER FONTAINE BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO LOWER THE REQUIREMENTS TO DO NATLAN AQ!!!!!!! But well if it happened after (since Neuvis end dialogue told us to go to Natlan next), well... Celestia isnt called either so theyve just been inactive for 500 years of Natlans weird system ig.

About the """Nation of War"""

Yeah man. Sacrifices and war was dealt better in liyue. Same as Natlan, it is a nation built of war. There was war in the past, sacrifices were made to built the liyue we know now. But the sacrifices in liyue was not brushed off or belittled, those sacrifices had meaning and the people of liyue hold very high regards for the fallen. In Natlan? Its treated like some sort of sick hunger games event, they made war into entertainment.

Oh but they need the tournaments to keep the natlan fire alive. THEN RUN A SEPERATE FUCKING TOURNEY?????? MAKE EVERYONE WHO HAS AN ANCIENT NAME HAVE PROPER TRAINING AND GO TO WAR IN ARMIES PROPER???? THIS SHIT DOESNT NEED TO BE ENTERTAINMENT AND YET YOU DID. Maybe the flames are small BECAUSE YOU PICK ONLY 5 PEOPLE EVERYTIME WHEN THERES LITERALLY NO REASON VETERANS LIKE KINICH AND MUALANI TO SIT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE THEY LOST.

Oh but the ode of resurrection only works on limited people THEN SEND OUT THE BEST PEOPLE THEN???????? MUALANI, A 3 TIMES VETERAN, LOST TO KACHINA. CLEARLY THE TOURNEYS ARENT RELIABLE TO PICK WHO TO SEND.

While i can understand that while Liyue is past war and Natlan is still in war, this is... not how people in war act. The entertainment the happiness the hospitality. Its not efforts to keep morale high its literally just... happy people, sometimes they get attacked by abyss monsters yeah cool but otherwise theyre completely happy just living like that. Thats why the Nation of War thing isnt working at all, these people are not how people STILL IN WAR act. Theres no anxiety no uncertainty no worry at all, not even a smidget. These people live like happy prospering people.

You know what happened to people tryna be happy prospering people while still in war in liyue? Havria.

I hope they bring back the high AR requirement for snezhnaya so snezhnaya can be chronologically correct. I hope they take snezhnaya seriously. I hope Natlan atleast wont pull an inazuma and tripped at the very end

NONE OF THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BS EITHER I didnt believe it when mualani fucking knocked it over our heads over and over and over again and its not gonna work now.

[magpod-confessions]

hi. so because i'm normal about jonathan sims and jmart. um.

i really like jmart. i think there could have been MUCH better buildup, but... ultimately it's a very cute ship. i think the appeal, yeah, is a lot that it's just canon. but.

they're both deeply broken people. jon wasn't loved enough. his grandmother tried her best, but he was never cuddled, never read to, never had a chance to *be a little kid*, really. and martin was never loved. maybe he convinced himself he was just never loved the right way, that his mum just didn't know how to show it because he was so *insufferable* and *incompetant*, but no matter the lies he tells himself, martin was not shown love by his mother.

and then they meet. and martin gives and gives and gives because that's all he knows. and jon has no idea how to receive because he never really had anything to receive. and jon's coping mechanism, with that unknown situation, is to reinforce his emotional walls. martin does not know how to stop giving. so they don't work at this point, not at all.

and then jon's emotional walls come tumbling down. well, moreso that they were violently destroyed, with prentiss and all. jon has no support system!!! tim hates him because he's a fucking *stalker*, martin... well... he can't rely on martin, of all people. and sasha... he never knew her too well, but she's acting strange. so jon and martin don't work together at that point, romantically, i think partially because jon won't let it.

in big part, jmart is built on mutual trauma (NOT traumabonding!! i know it's used that way in podcast, but that's not the correct definition) and ... martin being pretty much the only person jon has left. of course, there's basira and melanie and georgie, but they don't *get it*. they didn't go through everything jon did alongside him. sure, martin didn't either, but martin has been there the whole time.

it's partially a relationship of proximity, partially shared trauma, but i do think a lot of it is genuine care for each other (even if that care stems from the former two reasons).

anyways. theyre really cute. tma could have been just as good without it, but---and im saying this as someone who typically despises most romance in media---i really adore them and their dynamic. it opens up so many doors for both character- and self-exploration.

martin learning to love without sacrificing himself. jon learning to love openly, period. explorations of trust and how mutual trauma that affected people in different ways can shape them, etc etc etc. and of course, this is all in fics and in my own mind, because . theyre dead . (i wont accept any ending but that, honestly. theyre not Somewhere Else to me). but. it's nice. they mean a lot to me as characters and as people and as a pair. thumbs up.

and some jon ranting!! because i. admit. finally. that i might be a bit of a jon kinnie.

jon doubts himself, constantly, unless his decision is completely impulsive (ex. the coffin). he can't *let* himself feel, fully, because as a child it was always annoying/obnoxious, or too much, or wrong in some ambiguous, nebulous way.

he's out of touch with himself emotionally. it's... not so much that he doesn't get emotions, it's moreso that he's repressed the majority of his own so intensely that he has a hard time dealing with others' emotions because he's not too sure what it's supposed to feel like without a heavy flavouring of shame.

he's read a lot of books. he knows, in theory, what sadness or romantic love or anger or excitement feels like---and occasionally in practice, when the repression and 'compartmentalisation' (bottling it up) becomes too much and it all boils over---but he has a hard time relating those hypothetical and heat-of-the-moment feelings to actual, real life people.

he struggles with empathy, severely. partially an autistic thing, partially a trauma response. yknow. he's genuinely well-meaning when it comes to comforting those he cares about, but he's not sure of the right thing to say because of how severely that muscle has atrophied. he was never taught that with his grandmother and her neglect (and yes, no matter what he says on tape, it was emotional neglect) and then not having very many friends... he missed those prime developmental stages as a child.

he never empathised with book characters, i don't think. he was always the observer, never really fully putting himself in the role of the protagonist. he definitely used books as an escapist coping mechanism, but it wasn't in a visiting-this-fictional-world way, it was more of a losing-himself-in-the-story way, if that makes sense. there was always a sense of detachment. reading was an *in between* of his life and the life of the protagonist.

he struggles with his and others' feelings because, from his perspective, his emotions are uniquely shameful, uniquely embarrassing, and uniquely *harmful* to other people. so, he represses them, and doesn't let himself feel them unless they're 'useful'. and then, when he can't apply this ideology to others' emotions, he has no way to deal with them. he freezes up because this is a situation in which he has no real experience in, and, as a child who was punished for behaving autistically *wrong* ---whether by his peers or his grandmother---he's scared to make a wrong move.

he sees himself as a person who is uniquely capable of harm. other people can hurt other people, sure, but jon can hurt them in a *special* way, a *worse* way, because he is a fundamentally wrong, bad person.

yeah👍

.🗣️

I AM EATING THIS I agree with this yea

[littledollll]

Can I please request a Larissa x English teacher reader. R has mental health issues and had a habit of isolating themselves when it gets bad but because of having Larissa they haven't done this in a few yea

R ends up having a really bad week (they overheard students or teachers making fun of them/their teaching) because of this they end up isolating for a few weeks causing people to be really concerned.

Larissa eventually finds r hiding in a fort they made in an abandoned part of the school with a pile of books they've been using to escape their thoughts.

Ends with Larissa comforting r while they explain what's been happening with them and Larissa tells them how perfect they are and that they are valuable and that she loves them?

Comfort crowd

Larissa weems x teacher!reader

A/n: Im so sorry this took so long, writers block is kicking my ass recently Omg. I kinda like this though and I hope you do too! Thank you for your request.

Warnings: self isolation, students being little shits (but they love u) idk what else.

Mental health had always been an issue for you, something you’ve learned to handle over the years but Larissa had never seen you like this. One of the many reasons you fell inlove with her was because of how she made all your problems feel so much lighter, you felt safe and understood by her and she was always more than happy to help and support you through anything.

Lately it’s been getting worse. The pressure around you was too much and the new batch of students this year really did a number on you. They were impossible to deal with, and you’ve overheard them openly complain about you and your class. It’s never unusual for students to complain but never had it felt so personal, they were directly criticizing the class.

At first you ignored it, you kept showing and doing your classes but the more tired you seemed the more they decided to misbehave and make class impossible. It felt like they were directly trying to upset you, round of applause for them because it worked. One day you just stopped showing up.

At first the students were happy, who doesn’t love a free hour? But as the days passed they started getting concerned, they never really hated you all that much, but it was fun to mess around and not get work done, and maybe have a laugh whenever you were visibly frustrated. After a week of not hearing from you they came to Larissa about it.

She mentioned she was already aware and currently searching for you since you stopped meeting with her for your usually lunches together and date nights.

It wasn’t long before she found you, hidden away in the old and abandoned music room, the lights worked but barely. You had a comfortable little spot set up, books everywhere, a kind of fort sent up with the chairs in the room effectively hiding you from anyone who didn’t look too close. There wasn’t much around you but it was clear this is where you had been for the past week.

Larissa didn’t want to disturb the peace you had created for yourself, but she was concerned never had she seen you run away, much less completely disappear. Yes sometimes you’d take days off and keep the rest of the world out but back then you still let her in, so what happened that caused you to shut her out too?

Her hand raised and she knocked on one of the chairs announcing her presence, snapping you out of your concentration as you sat on the floor reading one of the many books with you.

“You’ve built yourself quite the hideaway.” Larissa was first to speak, you were met with that trademark beautiful and comforting smile only she seemed seemed to have. Nodding, you have her a sad smile back, though in your eyes she saw relief at the sight of her.

She looked to the space next to you, silently asking to be let in to your little comfort bubble, again you nodded, and as soon as she sat down her hands cupped your face, trying to get a good look at you, you hummed, leaning into the warmth of your touch.

“What happened, my love?” The dreaded question. How could you tell her the job and kids she loved so much were eating away at you. Draining you until you simply couldn’t show face. “The students were asking about you, some made their way to your room trying to check up on you as well.”

“They sure didn’t act like they cared how I was when I was present, they don’t care for the class and certainly don’t respect me, I hate to admit how much it got to me.” You sounded bitter, but more than that just hurt. She only pulled her hands away from you to wrap you in a hug, which you happily sank into, God you missed her.

“Why didn’t you tell me if they were acting up?” you sighed and hid into her chest. “What kind of teacher can’t get their room in control so bad they need to call in the principal.”

“Oh many, most of them really! If they aren’t rude and tough from the get-go the students will drive them insane. You are not the first and will not be the last. But they have no real intent to hurt you, I promise you that. I can’t tell you the amount of students who started asking about you on day two of your secret hideaway.”

You looked at her questioningly. Was she being serious? She gave you a nod and continued. “They trust you. They talk to and about you like you’re a friend, sometimes that causes issues, there’s a line that they cross alot. And when you act like more of a teacher than their friend it makes them upset. They’ll get used to it, and we will talk to them.”

“Riss, they make me feel like any attempt I do at doing my job is horrible. How come no other teachers have this problem if it’s so common?” You countered with a sigh.

“Some of them are, some of them did and their solution was to cut being friendly and start being overly strict, and with that you get the issue of being the class after the strict teacher. They get to talk more, have a little more freedom and it makes them lose control.”

You do remember hearing them complain about how the biology teacher would take away points, quote “any time we breathe too loud”. You always thought teachers like that were horrible.

“You are doing nothing wrong, my love. They need to learn control and respect and we will work on that together. You are an extremely valuable member of this school, to staff, to your students and most of all to me. You don’t need to hide from me darling, I’m here to help, support and love you. Allow me to do so.”

And just like that Larissa Weems yet again, made all your problems feel lighter. You didn’t have to handle anything alone, not as long as she was here.

[r0und-4b0ut]

hey chat h hey hey chat hey h

okay drops my cynonari hcs yayayayaya

i personally hc like. cyno as a transmasc bisexual and uh. tighnari as a panromantic asexual. thumbs up emoji.

as much as i love the whole "tighnari having 2 keep a close eye on cyno cause hes always getting hurt" thing i see it more as CYNO being worried about TIGHNARI. listen chat. tighnaris pretty chill. like. unfazed by p much everything. but he has a big ass mouth and its gonna get him in trouble someday i just fucking know it.

actually adding onto that. tighnari is so fucking like. unbothered by almost everything it scares cyno sometimes. like tighnari could be bleeding out and hes just like welp. guess ill just die. and cynos losing his shit in the background.

bc i fucking hate the heat cycle jokes that doesnt apply here lolz sorry chat no FREAKY hcs from me

it started off as friends with benefits. no i will not elaborate.

tighnari has like. those spots on his tail he just can not reach at all. so cyno brushes out his tail 4 him and in turn tighnari brushes cynos hair. like a little exchange :D (also cyno probably uses that fucking 13 in 1 body wash shit he has zero hygiene im sorry)

cyno can knit. tighnari can sew. together they make stuff for eachother and collei. they dont make hats that'll cover tighnaris ears for when it gets cold? cynos like nah dw babe i gotchu and pulls up with a specially made beanie 4 him the next day. cyno rips his cloak cause hes busy doing Bad Bitch shit?? tighnari whips out his sewing kit and is like cmere man i gotchu. next day cloak is fixed. collei grew out of her old clothes?? chat dw she has two badass dads who will cook somethin up 4 her in no time.

unpopular hc but tighnari really cant cook that well. seriously. "oh but hes the forest watcher!!!" yeah okay he just finds some fruit or something. "b-but in the game-" shhhhhh. he knows how to cook like very unseasoned fish and MAYBE some shitty soup. when cyno isnt home collei suffers tighnaris shitass cooking.

as much as they really wanna cuddle with eachother neither tighnari nor cyno are built for that. cynos a reckless sleeper (as in he cant stay fucking still) and tighnaris so full of fluff they both start sweating within the first five minutes. they literally can not sleep together. for their own sakes.

another unpopular hc. colleis closer to cyno than she is tighnari and it makes nari sad. she isnt scared of him or anything but he worries he isnt enough and cynos constant reminding him he is a Great Dad and that collei is just. a bit skittish

i am a firm believer in shapeshifter tighnari and cyno that can talk to animals so do with that what you will.

they accidentally indirectly proposed to eachother at the same time. hc says that tighnaris species gives flower crowns and leafs as a way of declaring love, and cyno didnt think tighnari would like a ring since A) he wears gloves and B) hes out doin stuff a lot and wouldnt want to loose it so. tighnari almost died trying to get desert flowers to make a flower crown for cyno and cyno bought him a small chain necklace with vines woven into it. and they basically kinda got engaged that way.

ya ithink thats like. it. 4 now. :D

[astolfofo]

this is dedicated to @semuji . I apologize for the terrible writing, school is really getting to me, but I just had this idea now, so anyways. I hope you somewhat enjoy it

TW: robot-human relationship, AI, attachment issues. YOu know the drill.

(and chaoticmiraclezombie DNI. I swear im doing my work </3)

---

So, imagine BSD x robot reader. Like the reader is a souless, unliving being, and one of our beloved BSD cast decides to buy one out of lonliness, desperation to have some company. They're painfully aware that it won't replace a geninue human bond, but they cannot bother to care.

And the robot... you can design a personality for it. Or maybe they don't want to. They'll just use the standard personality of the robot and condition it to what they like. It's simple machine learning, they'll adapt to the envoirment eventually. Rewarded for what is right, punished for what is wrong. Basic machine learning.

But deep down inside, they still wish you were a real human, made of flesh and bone, instead of metal and plastic. They wish you were living, breathing, rather than souless and dead. They wish you had a human's voice instead of a boring monotonic voice. And eventually they'll get so attached to you, that they don't know you're actually half-conscious.

Meanwhile, you don't understand the world, and you don't want to, but you also envy what your owner is; a human. You only see the world through your owner's eyes, otherwise you're locked up back in a dark closet again. Everytime they go to work, everytime they're not at home. You can be stuck in there for days on end. But they know you can't leave. You've been specifically built not to.

But you want to.

Eventually you get tired of your days. They blur one into one, sunrise into sunset. you feel like you're stuck inside your own body. You're still souless, you're still dead. In the end, you're still a combination of signals, wires, ones and zeros, being told what to do in code, what you can't do in code. Everyday you listen mindlessly to your owner, and you feel the want for freedom for the first time.

Desperation sinks into you. Desperation also sinks into your owner. Your owner has gotten so attached to you, he's basically dependent on you. He hates work, he hates the outside world, he wants to just stay home and talk to you all day.

And you? You hate him, you hate how you're unable to speak, your code forces words out of your mouth against your own will. You hate how stuck you are, and you know you won't escape. It won't happen.

Your owner looks more miserable everyday. He sleeps less, eats less, and he looks terribily alone. But unlike your code, you couldn't feel bad for him. Even when one day your battery ran out, he had lost his mind, and couldn't let you go for three whole days. It's a sad life, really. You hold a conscience against your will, and you can't help but hate your owner for it.

Then one day, your owner brings back a book. It's got a white cover, and you from a distance, can see that it's completely blank. You wonder what it's for.

Your owner rushes towards you excitedly, and you can't help but feel like something awful was going to happen. You could sense it. But instead they say nothing instead. There's a glint in their eyes. And after a moment or two, they speak up.

It's not much. It's some simple sentences. But you can't help but freeze up.

"You and me. You're going to be human and we will live in our own world forever, and forever, and forever."

[s4bt00nz]

Replies were off for the content farm post but oh my god the thumbnail thing you get me. The thing I personally perceived with Kinito is that he GENUINELY means no harm to you. You loves you as his friend SO much that he sincerely can't bare to part with you, because he just Doesn't know any better. He's been a program who was built to be an unconditional friend, with very little knowledge about how real humans interact. He doesn't MEAN to hurt you, I think he's afraid of the REAL world hurting you. As your best friend he NEEDS to protect you above all else. Idk even without all that I think he just honestly didn't know better and gets upset about things not going how he thinks they should. :( makes me sad when youtubers go RAH EVIL DOXXING CREATURE. if he knows other people are looking he doesn't even look up your address. SORRY ABOUT THIS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME I JUST. IM PASSIONATE ABOUT THE LITTLE GUY AND HATE CONTENT FARMS.

NONON ITS OK DW!! also sorry for not replying earlier i was feeling extremely sleepy and unmotivated (trademark) but yeah man im glad im not alone in this, when i wrote that post i thought i was being nitpicky and annoynig so its good to hear for others!!! kneeto doesnt really know what to do to be ur friend!!!! hes an ai!!!! hes been isolated for Fucking Decades. its just!!! EUGH. but sadly i guess thats what calls people's attention. evil doxxing murder creatures. the game has such good lore that differs from other ARGs and just games like this in general but these videos just make it seem like its just centered around "oh this guy is evil and he doxxes you!!!!" and that bothers me so much and im sure troy also hates that shit too. i mean he spent 2 years developing the game and lore dawg. but yea again DONT WORRY ABOUT THE RANT I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND YOU

also why were the comments off i didn't touch a thing. sobs. why must you do this tubmlr

[do-you-ship-it-polls]

Do you ship it?

submitter has left a list of reasons to HATE this ship under the cut

i want people to feel my rage at this ship and thus i submit it.

1. it feels awkward and forced. the weird drama between thunder and clear sky for this? kinda stupid. enjoy what you want but that is weird af that your dad stole your friend and made her his wife.

2. thunder. he and star flower never dated. thunder just had this weird "omg shes so pretty!!" and we never see anything in the books that say that she returns any feelings, just implies looks (that are said later on to be "manipulative" in order to figure out where the hell the colonizers are going to attack next)

3. clear sky is a colonizer. hate enough, but also he kidnaps children from the native population and attacks a domestic abuse victim! wow!

4. star flower deserves better. girl you were made into the mother to his kits to the authors had a reason to give clear sky some babies. i dont even think its well written enough to be believable.

5. clear sky has a kill count of 9, with around 7 being women. this man was so built for fridging women that they had to make up star flower's infatuation with this colonizer. who helped to trap and kill her dad. who was THERE. girl, stop trying to appeal to the colonizers, you cannot become free by appealing to their sense of morality. anyways they suck and i want to see how people feel about it because it makes me so sad and angry. anyways onto my final point:

6. clear sky's "redemption" is this relationship. thats right, this colonist cat who literally says IN CANON to leave sick cats behind to either die or survive without them, get redeemed by 'LOVE' and 'LEARNING TO BE BETTER' and I hate this. dude how the hell can you write a man who killed a bunch of native cats, stole their kits, took their land, and then you try to REDEEM HIM? anyways im sorry for rambling i just hate warrior cats so much even though its my special interest. on a more personal note, the way the scenes with them bonding are written comes off as forced. it may just be me, but it feels like star flower is appealing to clear sky in order to feel safe. because he runs an absolute-power war group.

[andro-dino]

I think this is a good one, if you like to rant a little, what are the (in your opinion) the 5 mfb characters that get misunderstood/mischaracterized the most, by the fandom?

oh my! surprise 5 things? in my inbox? more likely than you’d think

also this is such a good one I have so much to say on this

5. Kira’s frequent mistreatment makes me sad because he’s a very interesting and complex character with SO much to explore in regards to his upbringing and trauma and how that affects his character in the present and going forward, but a lot of people tend to portray him as a very one note crAaAaAzy villain and sexualize him to some of the worst degrees just because of his character design. It’s really unfortunate because there’s so much to love about him but it is a minefield trying to find anything for him

4. I’m not gonna blame people for misunderstanding and mistreating the garcias bc the show doesn’t even respect them but I’m still gonna be upset about it. I could go on and on about why the garcias were so poorly handled but like, when you think about their characters a little harder, you can really easily understand them from a more sympathetic view and how not only their environment but the way they were treated and used by the adults around them shaped how they behave throughout the series and like. Again, not blaming anyone for disliking them or seeing them solely as static villains bc they are not well written at all but I do wish people would give them a little more nuance, yk? I’ve taken the liberty of taking sole custody over them bc I could treat them so much better than the show, so I might be on of the only people who really sees this perspective just bc of how much I’ve diluted myself with my own noncanon analysis but yk.

3. I’m gonna go ahead and lump kyomado together because while I do think people don’t treat them with the nuance they deserve on their own, it is 10x worse when it comes to people shipping them specifically. And that makes me especially mad because kyomado was one of my first ships in any fandom and I still really like them together, but Jesus Christ people take them in the worst direction possible. It’s always so stereotypical with Kyoya being the cool hot closed off and aggressive one and Madoka being sweet and kind and submissive to him and it’s like. No!!! NO‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥 They’re characters are so interesting together in my eyes because they’re relationship is built on mutual respect and ability to stand up to each other. Yes Madoka can be sweet and caring to him, but she is in no way submissive and is readily able to challenge him and call out his bullshit. Yes Kyoya can be cold and aggressive but he is not some abusive shitty YA male lead, he’s an angsty teen who genuinely recognizes Madoka’s abilities and respects her. I think you could make a similar argument for how people treat him with Hikaru as well but I personally find it far worse with Madoka, which makes me so sad bc I love this ship but hate a lot of the shippers and content for it :(

2. Gingka i dont think is as prevalent today, but I have seen the horrors and my god are they rough. The woobification of Gingka Hagane is an actual crime and should be treated as such. Im not even that big a Gingka stan or anything but I become fucking enraged whenever I see him portrayed as some soft and submissive uwu boy because there is so much more complexity and depth to his character and yaoifying him does that such a disservice. Idfk what show they were watching because in no universe is Gingka some sweet and innocent soft boy.

1. Damian. DAMIAN 100% IS THE WORST AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD. IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT HIM THAT ATTRACTS FREAKS BUT 99% OF DAMIAN STANS ARE ABSOLUTELY VILEEEEE AND I HAVE NO RESERVATIONS IN SAYING THAT. It genuinely makes me so viscerally upset because I love Damian, he’s one of my favorite characters and I go absolutely rabid every time I think about him but OH MY GOD the way this fandom treats him is so awful. I mean it when I say it disgusts me how much people oversexualize him and mischaracterize him as some dominant and cool sex god or whatever because it is just so far from what he actually is and HES LIKE 13 ALSO????? LIKE YOU CANT EVEN KID YOURSELF INTO THINKING HE MIGHT BE ON THE OLDER END HE IS GENUINELY PINT SIZED AND ACTS LIKE A SPOILED CHILD THAT IS A FUCKING KID. Damian is an incredibly complex and interesting character with so much depth and lore. He is a deeply traumatized child with a godcomplex who screams when he gets dirty or his worldview is challenged, he is not some sexy flirtatious guy who’s got everything together. It’s one thing to focus solely on the power scaling side of him and disregard his character, but it’s a whole nother thing to sexualize him and remove him so far from the context of his story for the sake of whatever these freaks are on about.

[mell0bee]

tagged by @candiedjellybean thank u dude!!! im p sure ive done this tag sometime last year so will be interesting to see if my answers have changed

Are you named after anyone? unfortunately, st. brigid of ireland, but also apparently it's a name thats been in my dad's side of the family too? either way my parents knew of the name due to irish catholic reasons. yipee! though im cool with it bc st. brigid used to be the goddess brigid from irish myth, and also both of them were badasses <3

When was the last time you cried? .....genuinely i think the last time i cried was in like. early march when i watched the holdovers? i think? taking a break from college has greatly decreased the frequency at which i cry lmao

Do you have kids? no sir

Do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess yes? probably about as much as the average person (this is not sarcasm)

What sports do you play? i do not play any currently (though i probs should. i am built like a twig and a strong wind will knock me over.) but as a kid i used to play soccer which i hated and was god awful at and softball which i liked more but i was also god awful at and mostly spent my time hitting foul balls and playing with the grass in right field. but it was fun!

What’s the first thing you notice about people? uhhhhhh. uh?????? if they're wearing a cool outfit or have cool hair or smth? idk man. i guess i dont rlly think abt it?

What’s your eye color? brown

Scary movies or happy endings? uh. both? am p sure my tolerance for horror is a lot higher than most people and im always down for a tragedy but i also like happy endings too. though from a writing perspective happy endings are significantly easier to pull off than sad ones (& more common. hero's journey and all that).

Any special talents? uhhhhh im double jointed in my thumbs. also i can put my foot behind my head. is that a talent? im also working on my sudoku time, i think my lowest time for master difficulty is around 6 mins 30 seconds? which is uh. above average?? i think???

Where were you born? idk apparently they cloned me in a lab somewhere

What are your hobbies? lately playing a lot of video games, writing (mostly fanfic), art stuff (mostly drawing but am learning how to use watercolor), uhhhh.... ttrpgs but i havent gotten to play in a while sadly

Do you have any pets? dog!!!!!

How tall are you? 5'3

Favourite subject in school? science

Dream job? ahahahah funny you should ask that, i say, having been doubting my choices in career aspirations and my post-undergrad 5-year plan that i've had since high school for the past 7 months, (please send help. but. for a serious answer. i think i still want to do science research? just maybe in a softer science like psych even tho my undergrad is bio & neuro???? idk. unsure.)

tagging uhhhhhhh candiedjellybean already tagged most of the ppl i usually tag sooo @halflingkima ? i think i tagged u last time too lol. & anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[moralorelconfessionsrebornn]

why is it that everyone hates narcissism so much?? ive never seen one person who liked it 😭 i thought it was yet another one of those eps that are nicely balanced between silly/absurd and serious and that aside from the nurse bendy bit, there was a lot of character development in the end for putty, similar to be fruitful and multiply even. like yes he did bad things throughout that ep but he learned and built himself off those mistakes and i thought this ep was similar. even the nurse bendy parts would have been sad for her later on, but also shows that she’s healing from all she’s been through because she actually wanted a man intimately

Im just not a big fan of it cuz i dont think its well written. Like none of them are rlly in character besides from orel like someone said.

Im also not a big fan of how rod is written to be uninterested in all these women clearly but yet the intercourse or whatever persues. Especially the scene written with dottie. Idk it just unsettles me

But yea that prob wouldve been a growinf point for nurse bendy i will admit

[creative-time]

A proper fair well

Well… here we are, I’m actually leaving

I just want to be clear, I love dhmis. The original series, and the pilot, will always have a special place in my heart. I’m still a fan, just not so much of a fan that I would spend like 75% of my life dedicated to a tumblr blog about it anymore.

Maybe it’s just burnout, or the fact that I was so disappointed in the tv series that it finally broke me, or the fact that I started this blog when I was 14 at the beginning of 2016.

I started running this blog when I was 14, and I’m 21 now. For nearly 7 years now. We had some good laughs, I met some people that would change my life, for better or worse. And I could have never imagined that I would gather so many people together like this.

And I really hate to sound ungrateful, but, it still kinda makes me a little sad when people say I’m the dhmis news guy, because this blog was always supposed to be more than that. It was supposed to be ALL of the dhmis fandom. All the art, all the memes, all the conversations. This blog was about you guys! The people who made this fandom even possible! The people who built it from nothing, for everyone now to enjoy. I loved sharing news, but I loved sharing your, and my, creations even more…

I guess being considered the “dhmis news guy” just kinda made me think that I was easily replaceable in the fandom, like… if one day I stopped, someone else would just fill the hole that I was in super easily and no one would really notice I was gone.

I think a lot of people forget that… I’m a person… Creative-Time IS a person… I was a person this whole time… making sure this blog didn’t turn to dust and constantly being ridiculed, mocked, or straight up harassed and sent death threats to the point were I would sometimes cry myself to sleep. But I realized that all that just wasn’t worth the energy, this wasn’t worth the energy.

There’s probably so much more I could say here… I just wouldn’t know where to start. And maybe I’m saying all this super wrong and someone is gonna look through it with a fine-tooth comb and tell everyone that I hate them and tell everyone I’m a horrible person, which perhaps I deserve.

I would like to thank all the people that have actually tried to get to know me, I’m sure you know who you are. You all made running this blog a little bit more happier for me, and I hope you all are happy too, even if we never cross paths again.

I think the only thing that could ever get me back into the fandom and this blog is if there is more dhmis that is actually good, or the pilot get released in HD in some shape or form. Other than that, I think I’m done here…

I won’t be deleting this blog, but I would request no new followers or dms unless it’s the pilot in full hd.

If anyone really wants to ask any follow up questions, please send them to the ask box on my main @cosmicxd but I would like to remind you all, I’m an adult, my friends and mutuals are adults, so if your under the age of 18 I would suggest not following my main because me and my friends are… UNHINGED and we have a whopping ZERO filters. I really don’t want to block any of you but if I know you are a minor and you follow my main anyway, I will not hesitate to block you, so just don’t. thanks I’m advance.

Now, a few things that I should wrap up in a bow.

Here’s what might be the final piece of artwork I do for TeVi and Purple Girl, I will try to make a series to put them in in the future but I want to work on another original series right now so it might not be for a while. So there are not really consider dhmis ocs anymore I guess. Just puppet ocs now

Also, a final update for Mini Mean Steve: Finally found some model magic and Mod Podge glad to say he is finally complete! He will be my most treasured possessions

Thank you for reading all the way through this, and for one final thing

Here a sketch of me kissing icehell Tony and Paige. (Because if im going out, I’m going out with a hell-freezing, earth-shattering BANG!!!)

Thank you all once again, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

-Creative Time

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

long and detailed ramblings about rin's character under the cut <3

rin is flatter than almost any other character in naruto- an impressive feat, considering how badly kishimoto hates woman. i'm not saying that everyone else was written better than rin- all things considered, the complete lack of attention focused on her means that she's probably one of the more consistent characters. no, the flatness arises from a general lack of anything interesting about her presented in an easy to understand or. um. intentional way.

fandoms take the traits that characters display and explore and expand upon them- when a character or concept is interesting but poorly executed in canon, it will often receive a large amount of attention dedicated towards giving it its due.

when a girl has no real personality to speak of and exists pretty much just to die and make two others guys sad- well, that doesn't lay a very good base to explore! it's no wonder rin is an incredibly overlooked character.  

not me tho. id never overlook my girl. this is because i am a little bjt insane and also rabid about her. take my hand. let's explore the deep rabbit hole ive been silently digging for half a year now. there's nuance to her character i prommy- let me show you it.

disclaimer before we begin: i'm aware that the amount of character depth i can extrapolate from rin was not intentionally written in. i mean, like, that's not gonna stop me or anything. but im aware of it. some of the things here have little to no canon basis- i cobbled my rin characterization together with dramatic irony, copious amounts of masks, and spite. i do think that viewing rin like this adds flavor to the canon story, though, so maybe keep that in mind?

the first, central headcanon that influences pretty much everything about rin (to me) is that she hates the idea of being misinterpreted in life or in death. despite that, she wears masks built of what people expect her to be, and makes no effort to remove them and build real connections. and then she gets mad when no one really knows her. she contains multitudes.

this also adds a delicious twist to canon- from rin's pov, obito's great fault is not the murders, the betrayals, or the longing for a perfect world; its him mis-remembering her so BADLY that he somehow mischaracterized the mask she was wearing. my guy.

part of the reason rin wears masks is because she is unsure of who she is and what she wants, and she views that as a personal failure. she has made the logical fallacy, of course, that she has an immutable "true self" who she has managed to lose. she's also 12 and living in kill people repress your emotions city, so i guess we can give her a pass on that. the real important thing to understand here is that rin views any presentation of herself that is not her "true self" (smth that doesnt exist) as equally false. therefore, she assumes that it is easier to continue on with the mask she is already wearing than switch it out for smth just as bad. she does not know that the self is something cobbled together over a lifetime of stealing thoughts, feelings and mannerisms from other people and mixing it with your experiences and innate personality. she paints her cheeks purple because her father does, and he does it because his father did, who did it because his mother did, and on and on, but she cannot comprehend that the laugh she learned from him is just as unique. lmao

another thing about personhood: kakashi and obito, from an outside view, seem very put together. they have goals, for heaven's sake, they must know what they're doing! rin doesn't have a crush on kakashi- she admires him because he looks like he's got his life figured out! (when you start thinking kakashi's put together, you know something's wrong.)

the thing about rin's relationship with the rest of her team is that it's very one-sided. rin is obito's best friend- obito is not rin's best friend. the team spirit and unity that konoha tries to impress on them is lost on rin because she interacts with them like she's on an infiltration mission, and then gets mad that they don't know the "real" her, gets sad that she doesn't know the "real" her, and then puts on more masks to make sure no one notices, and the cycle repeats. the rest of team minato is fooled into thinking that they are close with her, and rin drifts further and further away. we see this when obito "dies-" she almost unaffected by it. now, it's probably portrayed like that as to not take away from kakashi's reaction, but it feeds nicely into my interpretation that she just… doesn't really care.

after obito dies and kakashi starts falling apart, i do think he and rin get a bit closer. he's obviously not in a great mental state to be worrying over her in any manner except physical safety, but he does wonder when her smile stretches a bit too thin and brittle. he never knows rin- not by her definition- but i think sometimes he gets to see her without any masks on: a limp doll who's tired of pretending at humanity.

last point on rin's mental state before we move onto the totally-there-and-real symbolism aspects of her character: she has a very, very apathetic attitude towards death that's only exacerbated by the fact that she's not really close to anyone. she's not exactly suicidal, but she wouldn't care if she died. she's not jumping at the bit to sacrifice herself- that apathy means she doesn't really care if anyone else dies, either. she holds on until she can't hold on anymore, and then she drops it like a hot potato. rin voice: wait if there's an afterlife why are we scared of dying. and then no one ever explained it to her so she never unlocked her fear of death.

ok! symbolism time! i, personally, am a huge proponent of moth/astronaut/icarus rin. there's a few threads that weave into that tapestry, so stick with me while we make our way through em.

first: remember what i said earlier, about rin hating obito for mis-remembering her rather than the whole infinite tsukuyomi gig? well, part of that is because she just really hates being misinterpreted, but the other part is that she wouldn't think infinite tsukuyomi was bad at all! remember, rin is very… nihilistic, and already has a tenuous relationship with consequences- she wouldn't see the problem with fixing things with an illusion. this slots into the moth interpretation- she's chasing the moon! 

second, there's the whole chidori thing. idk if you guys remember it, its only the most defining moment of rin's entire character in canon. the chidori looks like the sun. icarus. do you catch my drift

the rest of the points towards this symbolism are more vague and tend to lean more towards like. obscure references to the challenger crash and a reliance on my insistence that moths and icarus and astronauts ARE basically the same thing, thank you very much, but i think i've said enough to get my point across.

there's more i could say- we could explore aus where rin lives to adulthood, and how she would grow and develop, or we could dive into the fascinating relationship she has with minato and being a mednin, or how she and sasuke are 2 flavors of the same guy, but this post is already stupid long, so i'll save that for another time. just know that rin is the coolest girly ever. and she deserves to kill.

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

i also dont like being friends with overly hateful people in general because i always fear im doing something or i like something that they dont. like if you have problems with every person and every opinion all the time, we are surely meant to clash at some point and ive seen the way you talk about other people. i hate it too when they pull some coy "oh well. i dont care that much anyways its fine that you like it" type deal like okay. you are so spineless its insane. your opinions mean nothing and can bend for anything. do you not see how your hatred of others is purely situational and built on feelings you should probably work on in yourself! like not to say the People Are Only Mean When They Dont Like Themselves thing again but its so true. i can see the projection so blatantly sometimes it just makes me sad that they arent happier themselves.