#im normal about it now at least in my head

[avanzinisfirst]

distraction - 3. golden hour (written)

warning: alcohol

it was loud, but these places were always loud. you didn’t even like the noise or the drunken people, the only good thing about parties was the free alcohol and how the noise deafened your ears so you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore. anything was better than sitting in your empty apartment the entire night.

you wandered towards the bar of some rich nepo baby’s apartment who you didn’t know and smiled at the bartender. he looked exhausted yet had a fake smile plastered on his face. you smiled back before clearing your throat, “uh get me the easiest thing you can make. just not too sweet, thanks.” he nodded and quickly got to making a random drink.

he handed you the glass to which you thanked him. you slid him a random $10 bill even though the drink was free as a tip. you moved to the edge of the bar and looked at the mass amount of people. there was no way everyone here were actual friends despite their friendly gestures and close nature.

this is what you hated about hollywood. everyone was so fake. sure you weren’t the most approachable person, but at least you didn’t pretend to like everyone you met before hatching a plan to destroy them. that’s why it was better to have a few friends, no matter how lonely it got. the easiest way to be safe in this industry was to be an introvert.

the only thing that kept you tethered to the industry was your love for acting. the actual job was fun and fulfilling. you had a natural talent for acting and it would be a waste to retire now. not to mention this had been your way of life for far too long. you continued to watch the mass amount of people mingle and talk as you sipped your drink.

you felt a boot step on your sneaker. you looked away from the crowd to see a blur of blonde hair. she collided into you before you could move, causing you to catch her before she fell further. you grabbed her waist and pushed her off of you to straighten her. she turned around just as fast as she fell with an apologetic expression, “shit. i’m so sorr-”

as if fate was playing with your life like a puppet you were face to face with the girl whose order you stole earlier that day. you flashed an awkward smile, “you’re good, just watch where you’re going next time.” she nodded and stared at your for a moment before looking down at the ground. she noticed the scuff mark on your shoe, “oh my god. i fucked up your shoe. i’m so sorry.”

you stared at the dancer for a moment too long. the pictures she posted weren’t even close to how beautiful she was in real life. she cleared her throat which broke you out of your thoughts as you looked down and shrugged, “oh that doesn’t matter. these are old.” she looked at your with confusion but nodded, “yeah okay.”

you looked up and echoed her, “okay…” she chuckled at how awkward you sounded and you snapped out of your daze, “uh, im yn.” you stretched out your hand to which she shook it, “daniela, but i think you might know that by now.” you scratched your neck and nodded. you could feel the warmth spread up your neck and to your face, “yep… sorry about your coffee. i really thought it was mine, but you drink your coffee way too sweet.”

she giggled and shook her head, “sorry about your shoe, and my coffee order is perfect for my taste.” there was awkward silence as you didn’t know how to respond so you just nodded and looked into your glass. you heard a loud voice yell out, “dani!” it caused both of you to turn to the source. an equally gorgeous woman with braids swung an arm around daniela before looking you up and down. “oh it’s the twitter girl,” she breathed out. you furrowed your eyebrows at the nickname, “twitter girl?”

daniela smacked her shoulder before turning to you apologetically, “ignore her.” she turned to the girl and sighed, “manon be normal for once.” manon raised an eyebrow at the comment before laughing, “okay damn. i just wanted to tell you that this party is lame.” she looked over at you, “but it seems like it just got a bit more fun.” you chuckled and shrugged, “thanks.”

daniela watched you with curious eyes as you turned to hand the bartender your cup. you turned back and smiled a final time, “i think i’ll leave you two. it was nice meeting yall, enjoy the party.” manon smiled and daniela just stared at you. you noticed the nudge manon gave the blonde before daniela coughed out, “see you around, yn.” you nodded and waved before disappearing into the crowd.

you exhaled the moment you were out of their line of sight. you knew if you had stayed any longer you would have said something you’d regret and you just couldn’t deal with talking any longer. maybe it seemed a little rude to just leave, but you had to protect your peace more than anything.

a/n

masterlist next

[bogor-o]

Please share the rambles about how Lana eventually kills Ovidia? Pretty please?

ORGEHRTGRT i love that pretty please oerghag u got it lemme gather my garbled thoughts,,,

im super wishy-washy on whether i want that to commit to that being the end, but it certain is an end. Because theres a build up that leads into lana being ovidias end that i feel needs to be mentioned first

as i think more on ovidia as a person and their history, a lot of it shapes their perception on a perfect life including a "perfect" family and i think they end up subconsciously projecting a lot of it onto Lana and she does try to mold herself into this image of a perfect child for her Baba

but because ovidia isnt being truthful about even to themself about why they do what they "have to" whether its leading their followers the way they with a lot of manipulation and making them believe in this image of a perfect Mother and family that they've carefully curated, or even how they specifically talk to and treat their children and why there is almost a clear sense of favoritism that is kind of always there

this denial is also the reason their ascension is slow and unpleasant, because a process that would not normally take more than maybe a century or two to even begin is being stretched out because theyre actively fighting the crown against it. it isnt apart of their plan, of ovidias plan. so any changes that come from ascending are painful and slow and its entirely because ovidia is so deep in denial of their true self

they dont want to think theyre playing favorites, and its not obvious to anyone but Narinder at first that they view the kids very differently from each other and while hes tries to talk about it ovidia just has a way of icing him out because they just flat out will not admit it.

and this is the point i realized that there are two diverging paths for them, and if they accept and realize where it comes from and why theyre doing this they have the capacity to at least start to mend the damage theyve made which at that point wouldnt be until Lana is already an older child (like 10-12)

or they never address it and never change, they stagnate in their ability to ascend and unbeknownst to them, the crown had always taken a liking to Lana and her innate interest in death and murder, and naturally has been putting thoughts into that childs head for longer than ovidia would have guessed

(wip of something i might finish eventually but u kno, just 2 emphasize that lana adores the crown)

and it wouldnt be until lana is older, and is acknowledged by her baba to be a grown and capable person that its basically the final nail in the coffin. Lanas mental check list is finished for the developmental part of her own life, now all thats left is to become an usurper, just like their idol!

because shes always wanted to be just like Mother.

the method of murder would involve the years of honing in all the inherited abilities that come with being the kid of a god, but them still being a god it'd be hard wouldnt it? not if the crown is so willing to betray its master, and when its got a guaranteed new head to sit on its not that hard to imagine itd turn coat and reveal the secret to killing a god huh

[playingonedchess]

very easy to see how the word mates came to exist, it proves im obviously not the only guy who finds the word friends too soppy and awkward that its embarrassibg to even think

[parasitic-saint]

i cant keep explaining slash shipping to normal people and then just receiving a "that doesn't make any sense" WHERE'S YOUR FUN??? YOUR WHIMSY??!?!? YOUR IMAGINATION???!???

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i could draw anything but i decided to draw this. carlo and rocco in 1932 aka my headache

[winterrose42]

"I can fix him" "i can make him worse"

I can put him in therapy and make him learn communication skills

[drop--pop--candy]

i think it was the lights im twitching

[im-still-watching-anime]

rip my mom casually asking me what the worst shakespeare take i’ve ever heard was and unlocking a two hour rant at 3 am

[quarklynx]

Casually flirting with the idea of fucking around and getting a master's degree. The time will pass anyway, right?

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[spiderlegeyelashes]

i dont feel very good

[biogarfield]

my brain sees swocket and is like oh I need to put them in absolutely awful terrible situations. someone will die

[green-day-dad]

i miss my friend but how do i tell them i miss them without bothering/messaging them :’((

[animutate]

man i dontthink i can be in a real relationship ever again im just starting to process how everyone has treated me HORRIBLY

[katyobsesses]

My day is ruined before it even fucking starts. My mum was meant to be in the office today but the car won't start so she's not. I had the whole day planned, a day without my mum's work stress permeating the whole house, I was going to wake up early, right as she left, and get started with my day. I was going to sing as I did the dishes, put on laundry, had a shower. I was going to sit on the floor of the spare room and fold my clothes and organise them while show tunes played loudly. I was going to be productive to a soundtrack.

But I can't do those things anymore, my one day this week where I had the freedom to not tone down, to drop my mask and just be, and it's fucking ruined.

And I can't blame anyone but the stupid universe, the car. But I'm fucking livid, and sad, and I just wanted my fucking day goddamn it. I need it

[mrfoox]

Tired of being obsessed with one person, please get me back to looking forward to a video game or a group of people