#im never not using writing to process my shit <3< /div>
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genuinely tho me jumping right into reading volume 9 of trimax and then volume 10 (and then most of the rest of the manga) on the night before i had a presentation at 9:30 am (that was entirely not prepared) was literally one of the most unhinged decisions ive ever made
this is what a hyperfixation does to a person
#speculation nation#like that experience was transcendent. i will NEVER be repeating it again but it sure was something#crying 5 times in a night chugging my monster perusing the wolfwood tag tearfully as i listen to the same sad song on repeat for an hour#struggling to get myself to work on the presentation but continuously going back to the manga bc it was SOOO GOOOD#me being like 'im gonna need a few days to process and heal' after reading volume 10 but then after an hour just. starting reading more.#gettign only 2 hours of sleep bc i was like 'ok i need to recover from crying Five Times and then i will focus entirely on this'#literally what is wrong with me lmfao. this sure was something.#this was literally just last week. i can hardly believe it.#this happened on tuesday/wednesday. i spent wednesday recovering. then on thursday i was like 'ok time to write'#there was hardly ANY wait time before i jumped into my next writing project#bc i had the idea after volume 10 but waited until i finished the manga to see where would be the best time to implement it#& that shit with the plants was the PERFECT time. i knew as soon as it happened that That was what i was gonna use.#wrote chapter 1 within a day (while working) then chapter 2 within a day (while working)#then chapter 3 within 2 days (while working AND doing family stuff)#guys i havent had a proper day off of work in over a week bc i covered on tuesday and came in on wednesday and covered on sunday#uhm. sunday before yesterday. i think my last day off was actually uh. the thursday before? a week and a half ago.#and im not getting a day off until thursday. two whole goddamned weeks. i am having a fucking time for sure.#and what do you know that coincides with The Time. oh i dont think it was even thursday. when the fuck was my last day off#uhmmm. oh haha it was that tuesday. aka the 18th. i havent had a goddamned day off since the 18th.#head in my hands. i am losing my fucking mind.#literally unhinged. and it makes sooo much sense now lmfao.
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all american bitch -- ls2
After a successful concert in Miami, your twin sister is caught having a little moment with her boyfriend outside a club. Most people jump to conclusions, but you have a way to shut everyone up (and give half of the F1 community a heart attack in the process)
logan sargeant x singer!reader
warnings/notes: cheating allegations, cursing, so many sexual innuendos, sexual lyrics, terribly written lyrics should count as a warning... also I wrote this to celebrate logan 2024 <3
fc: gracie abrams
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04 MAY, INSTAGRAM
urusername made a new post!
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, sistersacc, and 450k others
urusername: miami!! u were ELECTRIC!! a great finish to the first leg of the tour. oh and thank u to both @ logansargeant and @ sistersacc for joining me in miami tn ahead of the gp <3
tagged: sistersacc, logansargeant, williamsracing
lilymhe: LAST PIC??
urusername: people keep sending logan text posts to me and its amazing
user1: girl explain what u were doing last night
user2: patiently waiting on her downfall fr
user3: MOTHER IS MOTHERING!!!
logansargeant: I LOVE YOU BITCH ASS
urusername: I LOVE YOU TOO FUCK HEAD !!! 💙💙
williamsracing: y/n. ur electric.
urusername: im leaving logan for u williams admin
logansargeant: dude what the fuck :(
user4: so we're gonna act like no one saw her cheating?
sistersacc: AAAA SO MUCH FUN THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE U MAD <333
alexalbon: thank u again for inviting me and lily i cannot express the joy of finally meeting the woman logan never shuts up about
user7: not everyone jumping to conclusions jfc
logansargeant made a new post
logansargeant: thank u williams for the incredible season and for trusting this american guy and taking a chance on me. thank u @ urusername for being my rock. see u all next yr 💙
USER HAS LIMITED COMMENTS ON THIS POST.
urusername: so so so proud of u baby <3 u did incredible
logansargeant: thank u <3
alexalbon: see u in a few weeks
oscarpiastri: great job man u did amazing
--
EXTRATV made a new post!
liked by 456k others...
extratv: While rumors are spiraling of potential cheating allegations against Y/n L/n, she was spotted with Taylor Swift at a local park in Miami after day two of her residency in the Kaseya Center. Has the checkered flag waved for the American 'It Couple' of F1?
user1: bro its so over for us.
user2: NOOO Y/N SARGEANT PLS </3
user3: people see taylor and think its an immediate break up. taylor literally helped y/n start music bc their moms are besties idk what y'all are on.
user4: reputation era real
--
"Do you see this shit?" You turn to look at Logan behind you, who currently has his face smushed into what was previously your pillow as he attempts to recover sleep from his season of traveling just about everywhere. You would be in the same boat as him if you weren't being hounded over doing your skincare and such everyday for tour. Because of that hounding, you had to take off all the makeup you had put on for dinner as soon as you got home. The dinner was with all your family and friends to celebrate the end of a season and the end of the first leg of your tour.
"No?" Logan blinks open his eyes and you cross the room from your shared bathroom, he lifts the blanket so you can slide in next to him in the bed as the fleeting Florida sun nips warmth into your skin before his warmth envelops you in the comfortable blankets you have across the bed as the fan above rotates on high.
You flip your phone, showing him the pictures of your sister people were using to say you cheated on Logan.
"Oh be so serious." He groans into your side as he looks at the photos, arm draped lazily over you before he plucks the device out of your hands and drags you fully under the blankets with them.
"Don't worry," He murmurs, sleep in his voice, "It'll blow over if we just ignore it."
"Logan they're trying to cancel me on Twitter." You deadpan, rolling into his embrace and snuggling against him.
"Write a song about it like everyone thinks you're doing with Taylor, play it on tour or something.'' He mumbles into the skin of your neck before giving you a soft kiss.
You hate how enticing the idea is.
"You're gonna have to review the lyrics before I post it, because I might make it absolutely filthy." You warn and Logan's eyes widen as he perks up from where he's cuddled into your side.
"Oh please, please, do." His little shit eating grin makes you burst into laughter as you nod, pulling out your notebook from your bedside table and a pen as Logan adjusts so he can watch you scribble down ideas.
-
urusername made a new post!
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 215k others...
urusername: im so sorry to @ williamsracing in advance. my new single miami burn comes out tmrw 💙
lilymhe: get em girl.
logansargeant: i apologize in advance to my pr team
williamsracing: logan please.
oscarpiastri: some times i wonder about u two. and then i hear about you and it makes me wish i never asked.
logansargeant: wow love u too man
landonorris: no i heard the demo im with oscar on this
arthurleclerc: prayers to ur pr team !
williamsracing: well now im scared.
#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#logan sargeant x y/n#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant smau#nicole wrote this
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Did You Know I Loved You?
prompt: pedri never forgot you
warnings: cursing, grammar issues. all pictures used are not owned by me. not proofread.
word count: 1735
angst, some fluff
dedicated to all my pedri girlies <3
pedri and you were inseparable. from the day you walked into his parents' restaurant, the air suddenly changed. the town seemed to sparkle in tenerife when you two were exploring the island.
"let's play football," pedri slowly kicked the ball to you.
"it's so hot outside though," you groaned at the thought of kicking a ball in the burning sun.
"pleaseee, i wanna practice just for a little bit." you knew you couldn't say no to him. the decision ended up leaving you playing with him until the moon smiled at the duo.
little did you know, the moon never smiled and the sun never glistened after that day.
———————————————————————
“so what? you’re just gonna leave?” you shouted at pedri in disbelief.
“i can do what i want. you can’t control my decisions for the rest of my life,” he sighed and sat down to control his thoughts. “you knew this was gonna happen. i need to grow my career. i wanted to be in a work environment which i enjoyed. just don’t be so self-centered right now.”
“im self-centered? i didn’t even get a warning you would leave to this big city. you knew for weeks. fer knew for weeks. you said i was your family pedro, and family doesn’t hide things from each other.” the yelling echoed through the house. it was a situation that would never be fixed.
“i cant just tell my best friend that i’m leaving in 2 weeks. it would ruin everything. if you knew, you would’ve changed my mind and i wouldn’t be successful for anything.”
“pedro gonzalez, think for one fucking second. you kept a secret that could’ve changed everything. the moments we had together could’ve been more important than anything. i just needed one warning and this wouldn’t be happening. i don’t give a shit that you want to continue your passion. all i always wanted was for us to be happy.” it took everything in your power to not leave the house after you completely lashed out on him.
you knew deep down you didn’t want him to go because he was your first love. he was your first kiss, first friend, and first person to even talk to you in tenerife. you didn’t know who he was gonna see. you sure did not want him to talk to rich girls blinged out with their designer bags. you were scared shitless of how life would be without him. he was the only person who knew everything about you and what you should do in anxious situations.
then, the tears came. would he visit you? would he ever speak to you? would he write or text you? would you ever see him again? will there be time for the two of you to be together again.
“why are you crying? come on, its not that big of a deal.” he huffed loudly, shaking his head in stress that this was not the way this was suppose to happen.
“pedri, you are leaving to the city. i dont even know if i’ll ever get into contact with you anymore. you’ll have new friends, new people to worry about, and probably gonna knock someone up while you’re at it. can’t you just let me process this for one second.” and that’s when you made a mistake. doubting pedri was never a good idea. especially about the people he loved. especially when it came from the person who he loves the most.
pedri got up and looked at you for one last time. unexpectedly, he walked out the door without a word. you sat there in tears, debating to chase him or just let him go. the sobs fully came out.
———————————————————————
2 years had passed since he left. everyday, he thought about you. “what would y/n do? what would y/n say?” he questioned his decisions by following your mindset everyday. he begged his brother to tell how you were doing. never a word budged from fer since the huge fallout spread throughout the city.
tenerife was never the same. since both lost communication, it felt like the island itself was hopeless.
you, continued to push yourself through school. showing everyone that you would do well without him was your motivation. you’ve worked so hard to prove yourself to people that you had a job offer in barcelona.
of course, you accepted the job. people were upset that their beautiful youngin was finally moving on in life. moving into your modern apartment was like a fever dream. you’ve had your doubts, but it was definitely worth it. everyday, there would be news of pedri. pedri, barcelona’s best midfielder. pedri, one of the best young players in the world. pedri, the guy who gets every spanish girl all over him. hell, a video of him was going viral for taking a girl’s number and putting it into his pocket. obviously, it was implied that he would never have a single thought about you. fuck, it was stupid to even try to reach out for him.
after sitting in your living room while trying to find something to entertain yourself that wasn’t pedri related, you decided to go out for once. there seemed so much to do in the city instead of being lazy at home. walking for ages in the wind, you finally found a small cafe to rest. ordering your latte and sitting down, your thoughts were interrupted by a boy.
“excuse me, are you y/n?” said a boy that was not too much younger than you.
“yes i am,” you nodded your head slowly before taking a slow sip. it was a little awkward considering he looked at you in shock.
“i’m sorry. i’m pablo gavi. or known as gavi. you’re the person on pedri’s lock screen. he always talks about you during practice. holy shit, i never thought i would meet you. are you visiting him?”
what the fuck just happened. pedri still remembers me? why am i his lock screen? why does he talk about me? what does he say? for a moment, you sat there trying to understand what he said. gavi, confused on why you’re frozen in time, waved his hand in front of your face to make sure you’re okay.
“oh no, i’m not visiting. pedri and i don’t really talk anymore,” you shook your head and forced a little smile. only to ease the tension of gavi’s then saddened look.
“that’s weird. he talks about you like you’re his girlfriend or something. i thought you were doing long distance,” he shrugged his shoulders. “maybe you should visit camp nou. i think he’ll be happy to see you.”
quickly, you rejected his offer. “oh no, we exactly didn’t end off our friendship in the best terms. i think it’s better if we just don’t see each other again.”
“i insist. i’ll give you my number and i’ll text you all the details.” he took his arm giving you his phone. you bowed your head in defeat and put your phone number in.
unfortunately, everyone’s eyes had been on you and gavi.
———————————————————————
the next morning, your phone was blown up in notifications. your best friend constantly texting you on how you’re viral on twitter. paparazzi snapped pictures of your interaction with gavi.
“fuck.” you mumbled before groaning in defeat. you knew you had faced defeat in keeping a low-profile.
gavi, you knew, was for sure fucked. if pedri had seen the pictures, he was definitely getting beat up.
during practice, gavi kept his best to avoid his best friend. when pedri came up to him, he quickly turned pale.
“what’s wrong with you? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” pedri patted him on his back with a small laugh. gavi sighed in relief. he’s glad to have all his teeth and no black eye before the game.
“yeah, i’m fine.” and that’s when everything wasn’t. balde came up to him, rubbing his head and patting him.
“so, who’s the new girl? it’s all over the internet and not a word from you.” fuck you balde was the first thought that came to gavi’s head. gavi’s head was pounding. he didnt know what to say, how to react, or what to do.
“wow gavi. what other secrets are you keeping from us. let me see the picture balde.” pedri laughed even harder from the thought of gavi even approaching a girl. at that moment, gavi had to remind himself that he wasn’t 9 anymore. he couldn’t just simply run and cry his way out of this. luckily, balde only showed pedri the picture from the window. when you were facing towards him and could only see him offering his phone. gavi’s blood started to circulate again and his heart rate slowed.
“i cant really see her face, but she looks so familiar to me.” well no shit jackass. that was the girl you’ve been in love with since second grade. in fact, she’s sitting on the side waiting for you.
———————————————————————
your heart was about to jump out in any second. you sat there for two hours for them to be finished with training. each time pedri walked towards your direction, your nerves would start running around. luckily, he didnt see you a single time.
gavi texted you from the locker room that he was coming towards your direction. you never expected this to be happening. you were debating to run away, but your feet forced you to stay. you knew your mind was fighting to hate him, yet your heart convinced you to see him. even if it was the last time. finally, you heard footsteps coming.
pedri was wiping the sweat off his face. he came to a full stop. he thought he was hallucinating. he thought it was a dream. he stared at you for which felt like minutes. admiring your facial features, you sat there frozen. it was harder to read his facial expressions now. did he want you to leave? did he want you there? why isn’t he saying anything?
what felt like years, he started walking towards you. again, your nerves were still jumping. eventually, he made his way in front of you. suddenly, he smiled.
“holy shit you’re beautiful.” the state of confusion turned into love with one simple kiss. your lips connecting made the world happier. the air cleared. the atmosphere was different.
it felt peaceful.
———————————————————————
author’s note: hi everyone! i’m so glad you enjoyed my first story let’s be tourists. this is my second time i’m writing on tumblr, so im still getting use to it. i will be taking requests once i figure out how to set it up. please let me know if you have any suggestions on what i could improve on. thank you for all of the support !!! <3
#pedri gonzalez#pedri#pedri x reader#pedri imagine#fc barcelona#pedri x you#pedri x y/n#pedri gonzalez imagine#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri gonzalez x you#pedri fanfic#pedri angst
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im so sorry this is incredibly random but if i dont write alenoah i WILL die but i cant think of anything to write. do u have any simple ideas. ignore if not
HI!!! tysm for your ask <3 i hope you can find something to write amongst all the ideas. These are a bunch of ideas have written down in my notes/google drive/tumblr posts and have not got gotten around to. I still might at some point in time but feel free to use them. I will still do my own take if I get the time/motivation. There's simply so many, why not share and inspire some fics :)
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General ideas:
Noah knows/learns spanish. Bonus points if Alejandro isn't aware until the perfect moment.
Alejandro thinks he can get away with flirting with Noah in spanish. Noah starts shit talking in spanish. Noah learns so he can hear all the little comments Alejandro keeps making under his breath. etc. so many possibilities.
Now that the show is over and Noah's off to college, he realizes he’s missing something in his life. Maybe it’s his friends, maybe it’s a lack of ever-looming danger, OR maybe it’s Alejandro. Who fucking knows. He’s too busy trying not to be in love with Alejandro to figure it out.
Their group project is failing, horribly. There’s one thing Noah knows for certain: Alejandro's to blame. At what point does slippery eel turn into a term of endearment?
They have never ever fallen asleep next to each other. Let alone in each other's arms. Never.
Time loop where Alejandro is stuck on the episode where Noah gets voted out and sticks himself to falling in love because he can’t let go of his pride long enough to simply let Noah stay in the game and move on.
Noah loses his contacts and starts wearing his glasses more often. Alejandro notices. Everyone notices Alejandro notices.
Alejandro and Noah team up to get their friends together (insert whatever ship you like) and end up together in the process/the other two were trying to do the same thing for them.
A commentary timeline on how Alejandro's charisma turn into exploitation, how Noah's patience turned into indifference, and how they parallel each other. (I've written a few hundred words for this one lol.)
Each thinks the other doesn't like them. Cut to third party POV that watches and witnesses them completely a mess for each other.
Noah, once voted out in I See London, learns about Alejandro's family. Who have been very vocal since the show started airing.
Exploration of how Alejandro tries really really hard. Yes, He's at the top of the class, but so is Noah. Noah who sleeps through classes and doesn't turn in homework and shows up late or simply not at all and is still right up there with him.
“I would kill to be like you. To just absorb all the information fed to me. If I were you I might actually- “(beat my brother) “Might actually what?” “I told you. I don’t want to talk about it, Noah.” - "Do you know how long I studied for that test? Hours. And you- You got a 96 with no effort at all." It was a 98. But this seems like a bad time to correct him.
Dialogue one-liners prompts i've written down:
"If we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you."
“Why do I feel like I cant say no to you?”
"I know you don't actually care about me, but thank you for trying to pretend that you do." (Said by Noah is joking. Said by Alejandro is bitter.)
"You can't win against someone who has nothing to lose."(Alejandro OR Noah angst.)
Soulmate aus:
My big two: Telepathy/Mentally linked.(imagine this one as a wt rewrite omg) And Whatever you draw on yourself shows up on your soulmate. Matching tattoos.
First words on each other. (I've done this one already here. but feel free to do it as well!!)
Communicating through dreams. (If you know cardcaptor sakura; like that.)
General AUs:
Until dawn AU.
Gakuen Alice AU.
My Babysitters A Vampire AU. Zombie Apoc AU.
Harry Potter AU. Reality Dating Show AU.
Infinity Train AU!!!!!!
Veronica Mars AU!!!! (i wanna do this one ALOT noah is sooo veronica LMAO) OBLIGATORY IDEAS:
seven minutes in heaven.
wrong number.
trapped in a closet.
movie night. noah is sitting under alejandro and lol they are physically, platonically touching for awhile. (leads to finally getting together).
one gets injured, the other fixes them up in the nurses office :P.
short "prompt-ishs" i've started writing:
“What the hell is your problem, Alejandro?” And this time, the tone was so disgusted, so bitter, that something snapped, deep in Alejandro’s chest.
Fuck it.
“What’s my problem?” He asked, incredulous. “What’s my problem? You’ve got to be kidding me, Courtney. I almost died. I almost died, paralyzed and alone, and the only friend I thought I had didn’t give a single shit! The only person who cared was Noah, of all people. I quite literally come back to life and the only thing you can do is whine about your girlfriend problems.”
Courtney takes a step back.
“I was stuck in a robot for months, my legs barely work, my family moved on- actually, I don’t know if they ever actually even noticed,” He laughs, broken, “- and you have the audacity to ask me what my problem is?!”
Alejandro is over playing nice. He’s had enough.
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this one is a rivals team up to get out courtney blurb
little idea about Alejandro getting into zodiacs.
moments where alejandro questions why Noah is so attractive
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SEND MORE ASKS IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ON ANY OF THESE IDEAS!!! / IF THEY HAVE ANY IDEAS OR CONCEPTS TO ADD OR EXPAND ON :)))
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have you ever made a fanfic of the reader being a dom to people who are least expected to be a sub, example is dottore since people think he's a dom or even zhongli?
NO IVE ACTUALLY NOT REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?? well i have but never acted on such deed (no shame in the sinning game)
I had lots of fun with this! ive never written for some of these characters before so this was a challenge :) PLEASE TELL ME IF YALL WANT A FEMALE VERSION, THERE ARE SO MANY DOMMY MOMMY CHARACTERS I COULD WRITE ABT
also,,, should i do this with very sub/switch genshin men, except them being dom to the reader instead?? like for example kaeya, tighnari, xiao, childe, scara YES SCARA IS A FUCKING SWITCH DONT EVEN ARUGE WITH ME
idk y’all should let me know anyways here’s your guys’ meal of men tonight
dom reader x genshin men hcs & scenarios (ft. dottore, zhongli, cyno, alhaitham, diluc, dain, ayato)
warning(s): LOTS of nsfw,,, actually mainly that tbh LMFAO
Dottore
at first, he'd only let you toy w/ him cuz he thought it was cute and he could easily tease you about it later
but shocker... you actually end up flustering him in the process. dummy fooled himself tbh
actually he was quite surprised that you were able to suade him with your words and body language
"Oh, doctor... don't keep me waiting...!" you'd moan and cry, grab his shirt collar and yank him to your lips, teasing his throat with your thumb and giving his body glances
made his little act crack SO fast
you'd easily get some neck kisses in while he's dazed, his flustered face staring ahead as his hands hesitate to wrap around your pretty hips
bro is high key into biting?? like definitely would allow you to squeeze a hickey or 2 in
oh, youre a big sweet talker?? good, use that to your advantage cuz you could REALLY tease this harbinger through facial expressions and super good fucking persuasive language
^^the tone of your voice... mhm that's what makes him crack
his throat between your fingers and a smirk on your lips as you kiss the tall, flustered man. literally he doesnt know what to do LMAO
HE'D COVER IT UP TOO LMAO CUZ BEING VULNUERABLE IS TOO EMBARASSING FOR THIS DICK FACE
every time you try to bring it up he'd instantly deny his reaction
^^"I was not flustered. I was just allowing you to have some fun."
dw doctor daddy, we all know ur a fucking dirty lier
call him a good boy, see what he does
Zhongli
yeah so- this man probably folds so easily over you
spoiling this big baby with kisses will result in his blushing mess of a face. trust me.
"My dear Zhongli, hush. Please let me do this for you."
^^barely takes any begging from your part. he'd allow you to spoil him any day
secretly just loves it but shh you dont know that <3
every kiss and peck and hhhhh will just make his blush grow
bonus points if you include inappropriate touching
"im the geo archon" this, "im rex lapis" that...... but how about we talk about his moans when you pull his fucking hair?
(or the crack in his voice when he's begging you to do the nasty w/ him)
^^ or his whimpers when you give him hickies?? he'd ABSOLUTELY be into marking, and you cant change my whore ass mind
stop cuz when you fluster him he instantly becomes so submissive its literally so funny
he would literally convince you with his fucking noises HES SO VOCAL JUST LIKE ITTO
(actually now that i think about it, the only geo character that wouldnt be vocal would be albedo? god hes so fucking hot i need to write for him soon
you being all cute n shit is enough for his breath to be taken away. hes so so in love w/ you hhhhhhhhhh
Cyno
cyno is literally so fucking daddy he makes me-
your actions would fluster him. i dont think he'd ever admit it, or be super vocal about liking it, but he'll never try to stop you (cyno is such a manwhore i'd fuck him so fast yall dont even try me)
yall ever thought about cyno's STRONG love for riding? no? hahah,,,.............
well i fucking have.
^^he would just lay back and let you ride him omfg me next pls
^^...perhaps small thumb rubs into the side of your thigh to encourage you to keep going. only if youre lucky ofc gotta be grateful
"Ah, Cyno... gonna be a good boy for me and let me f-fuck you? Hm, mm?"
phew the reader is kinda hot idk, kinda want them to dominate me instead of cyno
OMG STOP THIS ISNT NSFW OR ANYTHING BUT HE'D GET SO FLUSTERED N HAPPY IF YOU LAUGH AT HIS SHITTY FUCKING JOKES. HE'D BLUSH AND GET ALL NERVOUS AND HAPPY HELP
(this is random, has nothing to do with the fucking hcs, but yall seen that tighnari x cyno nsfw drawing on twitter where kaveh spends the night w/ them and tighnari is riding cynos dick with kaveh trying to sleep next to them? and kaveh is like "i wanna go home..." no? just me? k.)
would probably get flustered if you two are making out and you use tongue. idk cynos a little silly. definitely weird ass would let you spit and lick all over him and he’d thank you, what a manwhore
Alhaitham
who wouldve ever imagined a submissive haitham? not me for sure
he'd literally gasp when youre being dominant and teasing his pretty cock
chokes on his words. he'd probably let you choke him with a necklace, collar, or just something around his neck that you could pull
oh you thought i was joking? no.
"be a good boy, now, Haitham. only good boys get rewards. Do you think you deserve it?"
^^as you’re pulling the bidings against his neck
ok personally alhaitham isnt my type, but if ur taking submissive alhaitham...?... i may. MAY. SLIGHTLY jog for him
jokes on him, you'd get a such a rise and pleasure from his submissive ass
unfortunately... we have yet another victim of the big tiddy game. he'd totally want you to touch all over his man titties
^^not even just the boobs, he turns into an absolute slut when you praise his body
trace your fingers all over his abs and watch him get off so fast LMAO
when i die, i hope i dont get to the gates of heaven and get dragged down to hell cuz i like writing about silly little submissive men getting hard
I FEEL LIKE HE ALSO JUST WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO?? SO WHILE YOURE DOING YOUR THING N SHIT HE’D KINDA JUST STARE AT YOU? flustered haitham at a loss for words, how cute 💔💔
hear me out hear me out. he’d praise you sm but in like a “please keep going im gonna cum” submissive type of way? you know what i mean?
ngh imagine his face getting all pathetic and weak god ngh im no slut for alhaitham but god
Diluc
I LOVE YOU DILUC, PLEASE LET ME CALL YOU MY GOOD BOY AND MY DARKNIGHT HERO AND ALL THAT CORNY SHIT
anyways
i rarely see any sub diluc fics i need to fix that soon BUT ANYWAYS
when hes being bossed around by you he'd become such a whore but in such a respectful way
HE'D ABSOLUTELY SAY "yes sir/ma'am" when youre the dom GOODDDKDKDD
he' take your wrists whilst he’s on his knees, staring up at you, waiting patiently for you to command him
im drooling as im writing these for diluc btw btw
he's not really used to such attitude but he wont question it in the moment CUZ HE LOVES THE ATTENTION
hear me out, HEAR ME OUT.
^^^ ….ive always headcanoned this, but diluc is definitely NOT a dirty talker (i strongly believe this fight me) or tbh i don’t think he’s that good of a talker during sex either way
^^^ but hear me out. imagine he’s like fucking you, but your fingers are holding the back of his ponytail to keep his face jerked forward, where your lips are just touching his ear lobe while you praise him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear?
ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING ARE YOU HEARING ME OUT, DONT TELL ME HE WOULDNT FOLD AND GET FLUSTERED FROM PRAISE
“Mmm, oh s-so good for me! Keep it going, ahh, just like that. That’s my Diluc.”
drooling sweating crying sobbing and
i think he’d totally be down bad for some soft dom… like you praising him, commanding him and being rough with him, but at the same time so lovingly and gently?? yes pls hes totally down
Dainsleif
y’all dain simps are some other type of down bad fr (that’s a good thing i promise)
absolutely another victim of loving riding. absolutely. HE’D BE A BOTTOM SO FAST IF THAT MEANT HE WAS ABOUT TO BE RODE FR
dain would whimper. im literally so right
this has nothing to do with him being submissive but why the hell would he sweat so fucking much during sex? idk i love dain but he looks so musty IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE SAID
not trying to dain slander im sorry im just nervous ive never written for him b4💔💔
call him a bad boy and naughty and tease him just a bit and he’ll fold
honestly i think teasing him just would make him so antsy, so on edge, so desperate and impatient, he would just get all whiney and flustered and such a manwhore
HES THE FUCKING DEFINITION OF MANWHORE LETS BE HONEST HERE
push him against the mattress, maybe even yank his hair a little and tell him he’s a piece of shit that needs to beg for attention and to be kissed by your gorgeous lips
stop if you gave him a blowjob and tease him until he can’t take it just imagine tears staining his cheeks while he’s begging you to give him a break
HE WOULD CALL YOU MOMMY/DADDY. HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD YOU LITERALLY CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND IDFC
he’d curse from overstimulation, prolly screaming “shit” 80 million times and “fuck” every time you chuckle or smirk at his desperate ass
“Oh, you want me to stop? When you begged and pleaded me to touch you badly, Dain?”
^^ i can imagine you listened and stopped, but then he’d get sad and beg for it again LMAO
such a mess for you and wouldn’t try hiding it tbh
Ayato
okay im actually so excited to write for him, ive never written for ayato but i’m not really into ayato im sorry guys (i like his sister though)
It kinda startled him a bit when your fingers grazed his chest and you pinned him against a wall—
would actually kinda fight it at first?? but he also wouldn’t after a while cuz he looks down on everybody and thinks he’s better than everybody else LMFAO live laugh love ayato
anyways,,, when you’ve got him between your fingertips, instantly you become royalty to him.
you are called either ma’am/sir, or you’re called my lady/prince/your majesty
^^or some shit like that idfk ayato’s fucking wild as hell
hear me out… ayato’s absolutely, 100%, definitely, into sucking your fingers
just imagine you’re going to town on his dick and you shove your fingers down his throat to make him stop crying so fucking loud
god and he’s totally into it pls— sucking on your fingers so good so that he’s quiet just for you🙏
“Hush up, Ayato. You don’t want Thoma to hear you when you’re this vulnerable to me, do you?”
bro would gag and cry and grip your body and and
he’d so rough, dirty, submissive, but just like diluc, in a respectful way
imagine brushing your thumb on his beauty marks and the little moles he has— his heart would skip a beat
dw, you and ayato wouldn’t have to worry abt bothering anybody cuz im fucking thoma in the next room
#dottore#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#genshin fanfic#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#cyno#cyno genshin impact#zhongli#zhongli x reader#alhaitham#al haitam x reader#diluc x reader#diluc#dainsleif#dainsleif x reader#ayato#ayato x reader#dottore x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin hcs#genshin imagines#genshin
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ro’s big update about why they vanished for so long (sorry!)
aka my entire life changed in 6 months. 🫧
these last 6 months have been a strange mix of good and bad but now that everything’s calmed down i’ve realized how luck i am because i’m happier than i have ever been <3
for starters… i’m engaged!!!
on september 1st, the love of my life proposed to me at the art gallery where we had our first date 🫧
for the first time in my life i get to feel the emotions that i’ve only dreamed of in my writing. i get to feel like a princess everyday, and i get to spend my life with a man i couldn’t have written up in my wildest dreams.
so i’ve been busy with that lol. being engaged makes you busy!!! and i’m planning a wedding now so that’s also a bit much!!!
we know we got engaged fast so it’ll be a while before we get married but i have never known such love before and i just want to geek out about these pics and how much i love him <3
and then i got a new job! (twice!)
some if you may know this but i got a job as a preschool teacher in april, i knew i couldn’t work at the place i was previously at and i needed financial stability so i found a new job! and it made me realize how much i loved being a preschool teacher and how much i hated where i worked.
after 5 months i just couldn’t do it anymore, the director was literally not paying us, (and was fired a week after i quit) she treated me and the other teacher in my room like shit, and she did nothing when someone else in the building was directly and blatantly racist to me to my face. so i had to find a new job.
i got extremely lucky and was only unemployed for a week. i found an extremely wonderful job working in a private home center, and it’s a much better situation for me. i an endlessly thankful that the stars aligned for me to find this job.
i also moved!!!
for the first time in my life i have moved! i moved in with my love about a month before he proposed and it turns out that moving is a long process! (who knew!)
it took a lot of time and effort but i made this house a home <3 two months ago we didn’t have a bed and i was terrified of living in the city, now we have a bed and im a little less scared!
so i’ve been busy! but also i’ve been feeling like i’m missing something and my fiancé has been urging me to start writing again and i realized that it was something that made me so happy and i missed it and now we’re here 🫧 and that was a lot but i’m just happy to be back <3
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Out of pure curiosity, what do you think is missing from Halsin's story?
after writing it all down, i realized it's not just what's missing but also what's broken, inconsistent and shallow about Halsin, hopefully that still answers your question :)
his backstory in the underdark comes out of nowhere and is never again brought up!! it is, in fact, brushed off as just some silly goofy thing that happened to him once!! hihi haha i was a sex slave for two years. im so embarrased to tell you this, tav haha anyways how about round two with the twins ??? while im standing speechless mouth agape struggling to process the story he just told me. to say it was written and handled poorly is putting it mildly
he is shown to be a shrewd person (with his francesca choice for the new archdruid back in emerald grove) so expand on that! show that he's more than just a pile of muscles! show me he's cunning and has bite! there's so much political intrigue in act 3, have him comment on it, on gortash's plan, have Halsin compare it to some other people/events that happened in the past and how they mirror what's currently happening in baldur's gate, my dude is 3 50, he's seen some shit im sure, even living in the forest the news would reach him so no excuses
he's so closely tied to act 2 i have no clue why he's locked off as a companion till you find daniel (which on my first playthrough was just before attack on moonrise, that almost made my blood boil bc not even 2 hours later orin snatched him up??? and i was like?? ok?? she took who? i barely know the guy?). i think he's too tight-lipped about what happened all those years ago with the shadowcurse and i would have loved to hear more about it (like the implication of him killing isobel and the conflict with the thorms)
I need him to be the biology/nature expert equivalent to Gale with his weave expertise. he should have more to say about the worms!! he should be studying you under the microscope the entire game!!!! literally bring back all the missing EA halsin dialogue!! i should be able to drag his ass into the underdark!!! I WANT HIS KNOWLEDGE! I WANT IT TO BRING BACK BAD MEMORIES! expand on drows and their culture in this game by using halsin as the conduit that tells you everything he learned from spending his time here!! so maybe that info dump in act 3 about him being a slave wouldn't come out of nowhere
i refuse to believe he'd have nothing to say about the elder brain after seeing it. i want him to be absolutely repulsed, terrified but also intrugied by the mindflayer colony under moonrise, i want him to cautiously study every nook and cranny there and offer his insight
absolutely baffled he won't say anything to that one dragonborn druid back in baldur's gate that is trying to keep a tree alive???? for all his distain for the cities he sure is quiet here, seeing nature failing in the middle of it while a guy is desprately trying to keep it alive. maybe make it so these two actually manage to turn this spot into something more beautiful, a lush tree in the middle of a concrete road that attracts people who come over to relax in its shade
if they bring up his hatred of the city life, why not let me turn him into a full on shadow druid (which is already hinted on during one of the conversations with him in act 3), kind of how you can keep shadowheart a shar worshipper or steer her toward selune. plant some seeds of his loathing back in act 2, how nature had to be sacrificed because people had delusions of grandure (the elder brain plot and the thorms) etc
besides wanting to cure the shadowcurse and enjoying whittling there's nothing more to this guy. after the curse is lifted all he's got are the ducks.............. once he'll mention he doesn't like the city life. okay, you've been on this earth good 350 years, my guy, you know how cities are don't act surprised
an alternative ending is missing, you should be able to go with him
personally, i think his personality is missing because he is too flat and frankly, boring. he is too agreeable even if you're a meanie to others. just as long as you don't kill innocents he's a ride or die. it's not his fault of course, he's just badly written, too surface level. which is a terrible shame bc i'm so in love with him but i'd like to fall for his personality too. once there's a fleshed out one. so it's quite hard to speculate on what's missing about a guy there's barely any information on in-game tho :'(
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#reply#halsin#if i sound critical it's bc when i love something i criticize it the most#and he's got the potential#he just didnt get the time to cook in the oven#halsin 🤝 wyll#i didnt proofread it's 11:30pm im going to sleep
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whats up guys its mali and im back with more pjo headcanons
because i literally nEVER shut up
nico di angelo is bae and i would die for him
ok i know his hair is described as like shoulder length (i think idk) but we HAVE to consider nico with unbelievably long gorgeous hair i beg
estelle’s brother. no questions asked. i feel like nico and estelle would be a power duo to rival annabeth and thalia yeah i said it. percy says estelle cant have candy at night? nico sneaks a tootsie roll in her pillow case. nico helps her with her homework. nico fights her bullies. nico’s relationship with estelle is what a 10 y/o nico’s relationship could’ve been with percy. ykwim? wine aunts nico and reyna we have to consider this
ok as a sequel nico is really good with kids. idk why. no one knows why. kids love him.
will has the absolute WORST sense of style mankind has ever bore witness to and nico is an unintentional fashion icon. nico genuinely doesn't care that his bf looks like a bad teen beach movie adaptation though it's ok.
youre lying to yourself if you think nico di freaking angelo wouldnt love dinosaurs as a kid
this child was the bane of maria di angelo’s existence. i swear. imagine maria fighting for her LIFE trying to give 3 year old nico a bath just for nico to IMMEDIATELY run outside and fall face first in the mud. imagine nico stealing money from maria and accidentally giving the gelato man a hundred bucks, maria being none the wiser. if you've ever watched full house toddler nico is very michelle coded.
i know its canon that he likes marvel (thx will kayla and austin) but i think he would REALLY love batman. i mean c'mon, it's nico. it's batman. they're soulmates.
percy going into the redesigned cabin 13 for the first time have we considered his reaction?? “dang btch you live like this???” “what were you expecting” “idk weapons everywhere rock walls a waterfall for a door ig i was just picturing the batcave 🤷♀️🤷♀️”
I JUST REMEMBERED THAT NICO GOES TO PERSEPHONE’S GARDEN AND THAT ITS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE PLACES AND LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN.
nico is the modt sarcastic little gremlin to his dad (and everyone, but his dad especially). are uou seriously telling me he wouldn't annoy hades on purpose. let's be real here guys. nico prank calling his dad is the reason im alive.
“is your… refrigerator running?”
“nico do not fucking start with me i have a headache”
“oh yeah i'm listening to really cool rock metal cool music rn totally” (old italian music blasting from his headphones)
this kid has a guy for EVERY occasion. imagine rhe weirdest situation you could possibly be in, nico knows a guy. “ok where are we gonna find a tap dancing elephant??” “i know a guy”
when he eats ambrosia it tastes like the blue birthday cake he shared with percy im not ok
“so we’re all 16 and none of us knows how to drive??” “i can get us there” “nico you’re like 13 years old.” “and european?? hand me the keys”
ok so you can expect he has unbelievably beautiful penmanship because he was raised in 1930’s italy and you are so right. looking at his writing is like a blessing
im listening to a pearl by mitski rn and it reminds me of him im so sad
side note i think he would really like mitski
he seems like he would be afraid of clowns. don't ask about my thought process for this i just feel it ykwim
nico would get his shit ROCKED by a nerf gun
“wHY IS THE MICROWAVE SCREAMING AT ME” “nico that just means your food is done.”
i will NEVER shut up about nico di angelo’s accent. rolled r’s, hard i’s, speaking unbelievably fast and tripping over his words. italian!! “oh but mali, in house of hades the seven were surprised to learn nico was italian.'' first of all i love the seven but its rlly dumb of them not to notice nico was italian when his last name is DI ANGELO. second. a certain 11 year old nico trained himself out of his accent as a method for escapism, he wanted to flee his past and his family and his descent, and he wanted to fit in. of course he would hide his accent. his time at camp half blood (and ofc his quest with reyna, and jason’s acceptance of him) helped him start to embrace his heritage and past. when he started dating will, he ofc began to trust will more than anybody else. every so often, nico would let his guard down and let his accent slip. eventually, he started using it freely around everybody. i see this hc as a part of his growth and character development and even if it’s a small detail it means a lot to me.
he takes his curly hair routine VERY seriously
bushy eyebrows idk where this came fr9m just bear with me
nico uses disassociation as a coping mechanism a LOT. he’ll zone out at random for hours at a time and chb has a very strict rule about not bothering campers with ptsd when they’re disassociated unless necessary, so he’ll just sit at the dinner table for ages and when he comes back to reality it’s been like 3 hours.
“you came out of the blue like that. i never could've seen you coming, i think you're everything i wanted.” by gracie abrams except it’s nico realizing he likes will 🤷♀️🤷♀️
#tiny nico bites.#chomp comp bitch#nico di angelo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#pjo tv#pjo#nico#the sun and the star#percy pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo headcanon#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa
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do you even care?!
• pairing : geto x fem!reader
• tags : angst, breakup??, just a shit ton of one-sided fighting (verbal) , language galore, drinking mentioned & used, cheating, geto never betrays jujutsu high au.
• a/n : god im half asleep writing this and i havent proof-read sooooo deal w/ it i just need to actually post and get over this writing slump.
• w/c : 602
• loosely based off of all too well & youre losing me
you were laying in your bed and pondering. suguru hasnt been home in hours and he told you he was gonna be home at 5 pm, its 10 pm. you checked his location and he turned it off a few hours ago.
you heard the keys jangle in the doorknobs and you quickly got up, you didnt even know what you wanted to say to him. you looked out your doorframe and saw him taking off his shoes at the front entrance as you angrily walked over.
"suguru what the hell! where the fuck where you at? you turned off your damn location. you know what nevermind you were probably at the bar with gojo flirting with some girls since you clearly dont give a shit about me."
it all blurted out, you felt like throwing up. why now? suguru had to take a minute to process everything from you talking to fast. "y/n i wasnt flirting with any girls nor at the bar. i just had gotten a new mission right before i got off and my phone had died." he said with no emotion in his voice. you could tell it was a lie. just by the way he looks uneasy you can tell hes been drinking.
"oh stop giving me that bullshit suguru. if you dont like me just fucking say it. i dont get how you can just cheat on me yet still have the balls to say the words i love you." you wanted to die. you used to love this man with your whole life, why is this happening? why does he lie to you so much.
the past 3 months have felt like hell. sugurus been getting more distant and staying out later than he tells you while getting drunk. you dont fucking get it. why is he doing this? what have you done to deserve this? youve put so much into this relationship and hes tearing it apart like its nothing.
he doesnt even have a response to your stinging words. "y/n i promise i still lov-" you quickly cut him off. "you dont ever keep your promises! stop spouting shit that isnt true for once! your just an asshole liar." you pause for a moment before you continue
"why have you put nothing into our relationship? did you never love me from the start? ive been trying so fucking hard to still love you and act as nothing is wrong and ive tried to tell you that but youre just a dumbass!" you brush shoulders as you go to the front door to quickly put on your shoes and a coat to leave. making sure to grab your keys and get the hell out before he says anything.
there was this burning feeling in your chest that also felt like a little freedom. were you meant to not be with suguru? you wished so hard in your head he would come back for you and apologize, make it right. you kept walking down the street and nothing happened.
you pulled out your phone to text utahime and ask if you could stay the night.
y/n : utahime you awake?
utahime : yeah. why?
y/n : just fought with suguru. wondering if i could stay the night.
utahime : totally! stay for as long as you need.
that gave you some relief. your gonna have to figure out you and sugurus situation but for now you need time to yourself to figure out what the hell youre gonna do with him since you two live together and dont have a actual apartment of your own.
part 2 is out now!!
made by @belovedstarrs do not copy or use in any way without permission
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk anime#god im so tired#please send help#im sleeping this isnt proofread but idc atp#jjk geto#geto suguru#geto x reader#jujutsu geto#getou suguru x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#jjk suguru#jujutsu kaisen suguru#suguru geto#getou suguru x you#getou suguru x y/n#angst#fanfic#writing
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today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 3: sketch 1
ed note from the future: this got long. its going mostly under a readmore for everyone's sake. and i didnt even finish sketching, just trying to explain what is going through my mind while trying to sketch. look, if i write down my process in exhausting detail people will realize im completely insane. this is a net benefit to anyone trying to interact with me in the future who thinks i can be reasoned with. community service. thank you for allowing me to post this shit lol
hmmm. giving up on the first few panels for right now. here's what i'm thinking about as i sketch this:
too many of my panels were talking heads or constantly relied on one point perspective. i have been trying to work against this for a while with mixed results. sometimes the result is so bad i have to scrap what i did and start over but sometimes it's "good enough for TV"* and i hit publish on it. no risks, no reward after all. can't get better if you don't try.
in this first panel, i have two people having a back and forth conversation through a weird magic hole in the floor/wall. maxine is laying on a couch with hole right above her head. homestar runner will demonstrate what i mean:
however, there are logistical problems with maxine that homestar runner doesnt have. maxine's right shoulder is dislocated, so she can't lay on that side, or any side that would put pressure on the joint. im realizing i don't actually know what position would be most comfortable in her situation or how she would instinctually arrange her body to avoid pain. i start looking up videos from physical therapists on how they recommend patients sleep for some ideas.
also i start looking up what women look like sleeping on couches. how does the human body fold up. because this isn't it.
anyway, this was my first effort with the first panels.
for reference, the last page ends like this:
the top left of the sketch would have been the hopi clown back on the shelf with the "camera" tilting above it to reveal maxine. while this keeps the relevant object from the previous page in frame as a piece of connective tissue between updates....i'm struggling to fit the second character in. the one talking from the hole. maybe there's still hope for this? it's not terrible. initially i nuked it but maybe i can make this work.
fuck! she needs a pillow or two to make this work. this video is right, that DOES look naturally comfortable compared to the standard fetal position that would pull the affected shoulder inward. i didn't draw any pillows into the stupid establishing shot of the office bc its not the kind of couch you are expected to sleep on!!! this is a man's business office!!! i thought i was so smart!!
basically every couch comes with decorative pillows though, and the shot of the room didn't include the wall the "camera" was up against. my 2-point perspective failure might have paid off here lol. if i can establish that the second character is talking through the hole, he can use his rayman hands to reach across the room and get the pillow for her. it can be part of his personal campaign to show maxine he means her no immediate harm. the pillows were just out of frame. lurking. ok let's try it again. uhhhh after i eat some lunch
---
*my friend kelly had an anecdote from working in animation that im going to retell badly from memory. her boss would take the work she labored over to meet by deadline and would laugh at it, saying "ah, its terrible! but good enough for TV". and while extremely mean, he had a salient point: it never has to be perfect. it just needs to be good enough to be seen. sometimes i seriously think about this anecdote when im dissatisfied with my own art. it's bad. but it's good enough for tv.
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i've been so curious about this 'unofficial therapist' that thursday had???? which member is he? how did they find him?? could he always play an instrument or did they ask him to learn so they could keep him around? did he actually help that much? how did it change thursday's writing? i don't expect you to have the answer to all of these things but you seem to know a lot about them and if nothing else i need to know who their therapist is and what 'unofficial' means in this case if you can help at all!
oh lol haha unofficial in the very literal sense so my guy andrew everding of the "no one ever expects it" chest hair fame from my chemical romance in the studio 2002 (@3:10) is like...the y/n of thursday.
he's just a nice dude who hangs around and everyone likes, good friend of the guys in thursday, and then his house burns down and he has nowhere to stay so thursday were like yo just come tour with us and he did. because he's also a very talented (multi?-)instrumentalist and, as it turns out, a great composer too. also at some stage he lived with geoff's mom? it is unclear if this is before or after the fire and/or joining thursday as a touring member. he also photographed their first west coast tour in 2002?
so like anyway by 2003 he's playing keys for the watt tour which is like.....I'd say the darkest point of thursday's history but that would be a fucking lie lol. let's say the darkest point of thursday's history so far. the guys are super stressed, super overworked, super depressed, and under loads of pressure from their label who's saying they're underperforming the expectations they had for them. geoff in particular is copping a lottt of criticism for his singing which he really internalised, and basically everyone in the band is miserable. they were also. not fucking talking to each other. like at all. they would just all constantly bitch about each other behind everyone's back and never say shit to their face. andrew, as a touring member but not official member, and as a Nice Guy, ends up becoming like...the intermediary to whom everyone in the band went to vent. so he's like trying to fix their shit and be positive and he puts his foot down and is like guys you NEED to learn to COMMUNICATE. (spoilers they didn't) but anyway the band after a particularly nasty and conflict-laden tour of australia in 2004 are like fuck this we're breaking up! but then as soon as they agreed to breaking up they were like wait. so much of the pressure is gone now. actually we're good we just need a break :) but media has kind of already picked up on the story of them breakup up so it was all dreadfully will they/won't they. this is also right as three cheers is blowing the fuck up btw 😭😭 #we'retwosidesofthesamecoin #he'smyvillain.
oh shit and then they go on warped 04 as what would have been kinda their last thing but they're like hey look at this we're sorta starting to work on our problems! oh and then at the vegas date 24yo geoff gets shotgun married to a woman he'd been dating for two years with mcr, tbs, and the bouncing souls as the wedding party 😭😭😭😭😭.
ANYWAY. they end up not breaking up but take a break from touring and then all move in together for a while? i think bc they were a little scattered at that point and geoff might have been living in sydney (his wife was australian) at the time idk so when he came over to do thursday shit they just like lived together apparently. and they write city by the light divided (so titled bc the band, naturally, was totally divided on how they wanted the album to sound lol). anyway the main difference now is this time round they've invited andrew to join as an official member!! :DDD
...unfortunately for andrew, this is also the time thursday stops being even slightly commercially viable lol so he's like technically im earning less money now than i had been on a tour salary lolz. anyway he becomes a big part of the writing process, especially for that album and no devolucion, the instrumentals if which were apparently driven pretty heavily by him!
then in 2008 onwards thursday were all broke as fuck and needed to get day jobs to pay rent. most of them went into like...food service or painting houses, but tucker drummed for mcr for a bit and andrew worked as.....a guitar tech? for patd????? (also after the break up, tucker was in boy band the wanted for a while as their touring drummer. he loved it lol <3)
anyway tragically, andrew hasn't appeared at any of the reunion shows 😔. he's private so no details but he was dealing with some health issues towards the end of thursday that contributed to the band deciding to break up and has a baby and shit now. but he did continue touring as a musician a bit, like with neil finn in 2014!!!!!! playing some wacky fancy midi/synth electronic instrument iirc? epic collision of my childhood fave and new-adulthood fave.
anyway lol this is all typed out in bed on my phone off the top of my head so there might be some chronology errors in there, but a lot of this is from their documentary, kill the house lights! it's a comedy. dark comedy.
#andrewnation <3
#ummmmm if i remember I'll go back and properly source some of this shit skdjfkdf#man sometimes i forget how wild thursday is until i start listing facts about thursday#andrew everding#thursday#answered#**
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hi, anon who asked about your writing process here 👋
i have returned from the trenches (university tests) to ask some specific(ish) questions.
1. how do you choreograph fights? they're quite easy to follow along, exciting/unique, and still maintain a sense of realism, all of which i tend to struggle with.
2. how do you write renee's internal monologue, especially when it comes to his little panicked moments and varying pacing?
3. how do you build and release tension so effectively in the story itself? obsessed with the "Renee stops running" part
4. how do you switch perspectives fluidly?
ik it's a lot of questions, but this is the condensed version so i count it as a win (?)
my favourite way to procrastinate recently has been annotating mm and i just. need to understand how your writing brain works a little. thanks :)
obligatory 'writing is subjective so take what you find useful and discard the stuff doesnt apply to you' and 'im not an expert in anything, this is just the shit i try to keep in mind' and 'i may sound disjointed as hell cause its 4am 5am and i cant sleep' etc
under a cut for mercy reasons
writing fight scenes
things you need to set up for your readers: character drives and aim with the fight itself, the stakes of losing, and how it all ties in with your wider story
things for you to keep in mind: how much fighting experience your character have, how your character's state of mind affects their behavior, their relationship to violence and/or how far they're willing to go
subverting expectations will keep people on their toes. this can be as simple as changing the stakes of the fight midway through, or having a character do something that isn't typical for them (which you should set up before so it doesnt feel too out of place)
make each (or most) impact/s mean something. getting kicked in the side of the mid-thigh will make a character limp for a bit; a hard enough hit to the liver will make anyone crumple; etc. dont make your characters, no matter how badass theyre supposed to be, immune to this, since that would erase the stakes entirely
fights are usually chaotic and short-lived. depends on what genre you're writing, though
give your characters (short) moments to react to what their opponent is doing/trying to do. dialogue is cool, but keep it sparse. people generally don't prioritize clever quips when theyre beating the shit out of each other. sometimes a simple "motherfucker" is enough
im bad at this one but characters using their environment during fights is fucken nice and helps with immersion
fights are more or less just a string of reaction-action over and over, and it can get sort of repetitive going back and forth to describe every punch, since it removes your reader's ability to imagine or read between the lines. meanwhile, if you never go deeper than 'they exchanged blows', you lose all sense of atmosphere - it's not supposed to feel like a detached news report, you want your readers to be there. so writing fight scenes is basically a balancing act in detail - how much to show, how much to suggest. whats the right answer? there is none, sorry. no two authors will have the same approach, but both can pump out riveting shit with wildly different approaches. its something you learn over time. im personally in the lots-of-detail camp
people will tell you that sentence length matters, but thats bullshit imo, it's just about using flow effectively. a good example of what i mean: short sentences make the pace seem quicker, but run-on sentences in particular have this neat thing where they can make your readers almost out of breath by the end of it, which is also pretty useful when you're writing something high-tension.
there's tons more shit than this but my brain is a puddle of goo, so
renee's internal monologue
ayyy! internal monologue is your opportunity to shovel around the grey matter of your characters, its the Good Stuff imo. in the case of mm, the plot is largely driven by character development, so its been hella important to me to express why each character (except davin) does what they do, what thought process lead them to change their minds, and in renee's case - the flaws in his reasoning, the lies he tells himself, and how he reacts when those things no longer help him cope with what he's done
pacing is sth im insanely mindful of but unable to effectively put into words lmfao. if you mean renee's entire internal arc, it follows the narrative tension in the story; renee is the protagonist, he's the one driving the plot forward. as for pacing out any internal monologue itself, i try to have it follow somewhat of a 3 beat structure with setup/elaboration/conclusion (most of what i write happens in 3s), but some monologues have veered off if i felt like it was called for (it's a vibes thing). flow is important: one thought has to lead to the next, and it has to reach a "logical" conclusion (whatever the character decides is logical at that point of their arc). it has to be relevant to the plot obv, and the atmosphere also has to compliment the scene/chapter it exists in. otherwise, yeah, like. theres not much of a difference between pacing a normal scene and pacing an internal monologue
building and releasing tension
idk if you saw it but i made a whole post squeezing mm into a model for narrative tension here
so ok, listen. this is all wishy washy and means nothing, except it means everything. its the entire structure of your story which is pretty important, but like also its just a vibe thing. the reason you've heard about setup/payoff in writing advice circles is because of the build and release of tension. it's a pacing thing. if you set something up without having a payoff down the line, unless you're writing a mystery and your setup is a red herring, your readers are gonna come away disappointed. it's about what rhythm you've established and how an average person might expect it to continue. we're making music here. if you payoff something (payoff is a verb now) without having set it up previously, you've essentially just smashed all the piano keys in the middle of claire de lune with no warning. and you can do that, but you have to know that that's what you're doing, otherwise its gonna sound like you smashed all the keys solely to keep your audience on edge, even though it adds nothing to the song itself. this is all pacing. everything is pacing, including tension
building and releasing tension is about making music. you typically start out low and then you gradually turn it up. and you might have a moment where it gets a little low again but now the audience knows its been up there before so there's more intrigue, you've set an expectation. and then you build it and you take it a little further than the last time. you add harmonics maybe, if harmonics are your thing. you keep teasing the climax. that sounds like sex and to be fair music is kinda like sex. so is narrative tension. you add a funky little kazoo in there an the crowd definitely did not expect that, but if you've got a vision, you might just pull it off. it's about atmosphere. you're not just setting up for the grand finale, you're setting up a hundred tiny peaks along the way, meeting each as you go. it's like you're walking toward the harvest while hauling the plow behind you. (that made no sense. kinda like sex.*) (*= i'm ace). and then eventually, bam, cymbals and headbanging and shit. if you've done your due diligence in the gradual buildup, that release feels earned
switching perspective
i may be stupid and/or just kinda tired but i dont understand this question rn lmfao. ig i just treat it like i would going from any one scene to another
in conclusion
thank u for the questions. apologies for making it weird. in my defense, it is very difficult to explain pacing, and also its 5am now
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AND I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL EVER SEE YOU AGAIN !!
— saying goodbye to those certain people at school/college that you’ll probably never see again </3 (yes i wrote this because i finished college and this is how i felt about leaving some people and i’m sensitive)
content : gender neutral reader, i dont think this is angst so i have no idea what it is, its : :((, thats the genre y'all, me using a couple personal experiences to add in some accuracy
characters : mikey, kazutora, senju
notes : hey guys !! i finally finished my exams and college meaning i’m now on summer break and i finally have time to write ! thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this academic year esp since i was struggling a lot </3 i luv all of y’all so so so much and i hope y’all enjoy this EVEN THOUGH IM LOWKEY RUSTY ASF RN JUST TRUST THE PROCESS Y’ALL MY WRITING MAGIC WILL COME BACK SOON </3
˗ˏˋ MIKEY
- mikey is thee iconic class crush that everyone has (unless you’re not into mikey then that’s too bad you gotta change the character i’m sorry 😔)
- the type of person you’re friends with and is in all your classes, but you get a little rush of excitement when you see them
- the type of person you talk to like you’ve known them for years face to face, but wouldn’t dare ask to meet up with you and you can’t message them for shit because you think too much about your responses
- the type of person who somehow makes your ears burn but you can’t put your finger on why or how they do that
- you and mikey were always class friends - even teachers knew you guys as class friends and would hate when you sat with each other, knowing very well no work would get done
- he would always find a way to talk to you when you walked past him, to make a joke to you, possibly bully you a little (all with a kind heart and no malice of course) - and you always found a way to do it back which he loved <3
- you cherished him as a friend for some reason - out of all your class friends (not including closer friends that is) he felt special to you, and you could never and will never know why
- and so when the end of your time at school/college was getting closer you started to cherish your little interactions with him and got more and more excited to see him everyday :( - the way you guys interacted never changed, you just held it closer to you and appreciated it more
- on your last day you didn’t see him until the end of the day - he probably didn’t bother coming in early since it was the last day and he’s lazy 😒
- he approached you quickly with a little spring in his step, smiling widely at you like he always did (he was always happy to see you, you just never really realised) — you were very much prepared for a usual interaction; a little small talk, a clever joke of his, a laugh, and departure
- oh. a hug 🎉 — you literally could’ve cried. and don’t say no. yes you could’ve okay.
- “don’t get soppy on me now, y/n, hm? it’s not the end of the world, is it?” — TO YOU ☹️
- even though you wished he did, he didn’t spend any extra time with you, simply walking away with a goodbye and back to his friends — however he did message you when he got home <3
hey i just wanted to say i enjoyed being friends this year :)
in case i never see you again remember me by this <3
i’ll miss you, make sure you look after yourself !
- it was a video of a cat eating dorayaki and purring ?? makes sense 🫶 - although you were more surprised at the concept of a cat actually eating something like that
- though you appreciated and loved his messages, and responded with the same amount of appreciation, you kinda wish he hadn’t messaged you with his own little goodbye — although it wasn’t like losing a lifelong best friend it still left a little hole in the pit of your stomach, knowing you’d miss him, knowing you’d still talk about him with your friends sometimes
- probably wondering if he actually liked you as much as you liked him, wondering if you were simply just a person in his class or more of a friend ?
- you hope one day he’ll ask you to meet up and your friendship can be strengthened in the future but its unlikely to happen :/ - mainly because you’re probably not about to make the first move YEAH
˗ˏˋ KAZUTORA
- in your final year of school/college you ended up being together for a class - you could say he was kinda like your study buddy in the end 🤷♀️
-one day he saw you in the library and he asked if you could help him study for the upcoming test since he was struggling with the topic and he wanted to do well this time — lets be real, we all know kazutora would not take classes seriously 😭
- eventually it became a common thing for the both of you to do; meet in the library and go over the things he wanted to do (and it was convenient for you because it meant you could also simultaneously go over the difficult things too 🫶)
- you guys had a spot mikey called the ‘secret spot’ because it was hidden at the back behind a couple bookshelves — despite always being late to classes he was usually on time to your meet-ups
- he always greeted you by saying “hey, teach!” with only a pen and a scrap piece of paper
- as much as you liked seeing kazutora and becoming friends with him, studying with him was very hard sometimes — you could tell he was trying hard but he would kinda just stare and nod his head rather than listen because he would zone out
- once you guys finished studying, he’d simply ask you when you were able to meet next and would say his goodbye’s and thank you’s — sometimes you wanted to ask if he felt like meeting up outside of college or at least studying at your house since you guys got on so well, but you never did
- and he would make out of pocket jokes (they made you giggle but he doesn’t have to know that) — “is there anythin’ else i can do to get an A, professor? 🥺” boy 🤨
- you guys never ate lunch together or spoke to each other outside of lessons - it was almost like as soon as you guys left the classroom or library you didn’t know each other :(
- you had his socials and sometimes you’d receive messages at 12am about a theory he couldn’t understand 😭 — they always made you smile though and sometimes you guys even had little convos (mostly small talk though ugh)
- once you guys face timed 😟 — he thought you looked so pretty under the light of your desk lap and it made him kinda nervy so he was quieter than usual </3
- when exam season came around y’all were stressing over exams together like. the poor boy was SCARED — however, before each exam he would always come up to you when you were with your friends to ask how you were <3
- “i don’t know why you’re stressed, you’re the teacher here, sweets.”
- although you were excited for all the exams and college/school to end, you were also kinda dreading it — you knew the fact that you and kazutora wouldn’t have another study session again left a little ache in your chest
- when the final day arrived you thought he’d neglected to show up since you hadn’t seen him all day :((
- when the exam finished, however, he showed up out of nowhere asking how it went :0 - you guys had a long talk about the exam and how you guys hated whichever questions
- “well, i gotta get going now, my friend is giving me a ride home and i don’t wanna make him wait too much, i’m really sorry!” oh ☹️
- there it was. the feeling that came over you told you you’d probably never see him again, possibly never speak to him again except for some small talk at 11pm when he saw a funny post and decided to send it to you. the knowledge that you were losing a friend that you’d cherished your limited time with over the stressful year </3
- “yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry about it!” idiot.
- “i’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
- you just nodded, despite there no longer being a tomorrow :(
- BOOOOOOOO
˗ˏˋ SENJU
- she was your friend in all of your classes <3
- literally since the first day of school/college she decided that you guys were gonna be friends
- every time you come into a lesson she’s always sat in the seat next to yours, and if she’s late she always looks for you with a bright smile on her face — even if other people changed seats in the class, you guys always stayed in the exact same seats next to each other
- “do you wanna do it together?” — y’all always worked on projects or class work together, especially presentations since senju said it just turned out better if you guys did it together
- y’all would also always panic together over presenting posters or presentations to the class and then talk about how good you did afterwards
- you guys always laughed together in classes and giggled at dumb jokes </3
- she would always make you walk with her to exams too — it’s not like she was ever panicking or worried, she just wanted to walk with you into the exam and talk about it after
- and once she bought you candy for your birthday even though you don’t remember telling her your birthday 😭 - “i got you these, i don’t know if you like them but you can try them!” me personally i’d cry
- also !! you guys would also talk outside of classes yay !! — on messages that is
- often she would message you about work, whether that was asking when homework was due in etc etc — but you guys would also message each other if you found out any gossip about people in your classes 😭😭😭
senju : babe, y’know that girl we were talking about the other day?? i found her boyfriend on tinder 😟
you : there’s no way… they’ve literally been dating for almost a year, his account should be deleted by now ?!
senju : wait what ?! how did you find out it’s been that long ☠️
you : oh i looked on her instagram yesterday lmao
- but 😁
- you guys just… didn’t talk to each other outside of class in person ??
- as soon as the class was over y’all didn’t really talk to each other, you never ate lunch together, you never studied together etc — you guys also never made plans or spoke to each other over summer breaks ?
- like y’all basically didn’t speak to each other for three months but when you came back after it was like no time had passed
- when the day of your final exam came around you guys walked to the room as usual, talking about what you did or didn’t want to come up
- before she went into the room she hugged you. you guys never hug. — “you’ll be fine, babe, you got this.” sobbing.
- when you came out of the exam she was gone as usual — it was rare for you guys to wait for each other at the end of lessons or exams anyways
- but that time you felt a little wave of sadness wash over you, perhaps a little ache in your chest as you realised that was probably the last time you’d ever walk down a corridor with her, to stress over something together, hear her little pep talks before doing exams, to do anything with her
- you took her hug as a goodbye </3 (for a while it seemed to leave a little hollow feeling in your chest when you thought of her) though it didn’t feel complete without hearing her say it
- sobbing tbh
reblogs appreciated <3
#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev#tokyo revengers headcannons#tokyo rev headcannons#mikey sano#manjiro sano#sano manjiro#mikey sano x reader#manjiro sano x reader#mikey sano headcannons#mikey headcannons#manjiro headcannons#manjiro sano headcannons#senju akashi#akashi senju#senju headcannons#senju akashi x reader#senju x reader#mikey x reader#manjiro x reader#kazutora hanemiya#kazutora x reader#kazutora hanemiya headcannons#kazutora headcannons#hanemiya kazutora x you#akashi senju x reader#hanemiya kazutora x reader#kazutora hanemiya x reader
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Currently struggling a lot with getting very excited about a project, writing a lot, editing that writing until it's way more polished than what I can come up with off the cuff, and then being too intimidated to add to the document anymore since the previous good writing still gives off this looming intimidation if that makes sense? The more I write the greater the fear is I'll crash the story into a ditch that reveals the premise can't work. have you had that "its not all coming together shit theres a snag thats really important that i missed" moment? I realize it's pretty inevitable for that to happen, but whenever I write myself out of a moment like that I always second guess that I'm still overlooking something important or taking the easy way out. I know it's probably just all about pushing through but I worry that by pushing im just further diluting the original spirit of the project? Sorry for the all over the place ask, hope you have a good day :3
this is always a tough situation to navigate as a writer. happens to me often, and it has taken me a very long time to come even remotely close to being able to deal with it productively. believe it or not, i actually have quite a lot to say about this, so prepare for that below the break.
first of all, no, it's absolutely NOT all about pushing through. i find "pushing through" can just as often make the problem worse. keep in mind that i can only speak to my own experience and process, so any advice i might give here should only be taken insofar as you personally find it useful.
this is a form of writer's block. there are many different types of blocks, each with their own causes and hypothetical treatments. a big part of becoming A Writer as such is learning the difference between them, and developing methods for dealing with them on a case by case basis that don't involve substance abuse. don't do cocaine. that's step one.
most of my blocks are in the vein you describe. i'll be writing a scene that feels good, until i cross a threshold somewhere and suddenly the whole thing feels dead in the water. the first thing i do when this happens is stop writing. it's hard to stop when you're on a roll, i know. life is short and it's hard enough to write even on a good day, but sometimes you can just tell that you're on the wrong track and at that point you're probably not gonna be able to write your way back on.
once stopped, i check the basics. have i eaten recently? am i hydrated? have i taken my medications? these are rarely my problem (i keep a big water bottle with me at all times and my gf makes sure i'm fed), though you never know how useful a snack break can be. most of the time if the problem isn't with the text, it's that i've been writing for too fucking long and i need to clock out. learning to clock out is SO hard. but as i've been getting into the habit these last couple months, while i generally write less per day i ultimately end up writing more over time. i can feel my brain cooking when i've been writing too long. it's a muscle like anything else. if you did a bunch of overtime shifts at a more physical job, you'd need time to recover too. your body isn't a machine, your brain isn't a computer, and living things are inconsistent. it sucks but you'll have a better time all around when you learn to work with your body instead of against it.
another question is, have i showered recently? i find showers tedious and boring. also i still have depression even though my life is a lot better than it used to be. i lived on my own for a very long time as a deeply closeted self-hating trans woman, so my hygiene habits are not always up to sniff. as much as i hate to admit it, showers help. i can't tell you how many times i've sat at a godfeels chapter or video script and just felt fucking miserable, only to come back forty minutes later from a shower, full of creative energy. i despise self-help shit. just not a fan of the culture of positive attitude wellness check stuff because you can't self examine your way out of your class position. sometimes the problem is that you're broke. sometimes life fucking sucks and you just don't have the art in you, and that's okay. there's a common misconception that if something bad happens to you, at least you can make an art to get through it. but in my experience it's actually a lot harder to make art about bad times when you're still in them. most of the time it takes months if not years of safety and recovery before you can really face it head on artistically. so like, be nice to yourself. it's not your fault that you live in a society.
but also sometimes literally you just need a shower or to eat some leftovers or to go to fucking bed. i hate it every time that is true because i want my problems to be real and philosophical and not just some dumb body thing that happens to everyone. alas, no one can escape the quotidian obligations of simple mortality.
THAT SAID! this stuff isn't usually my problem, and often i find that what's solving the problem when i do step away to eat/drink/shower isn't even the specific activity, but the act of stepping away at all. getting my mind off it for a sec. when i hit a block that doesn't feel completely insurmountable, i like to back away from my computer and pace around a bit. then i'll stare at my big whiteboard with a marker in hand and just let my mind wander. i don't even write anything half the time! but the mere act of trying to compartmentalize the problem into something brief enough for shorthand helps me spot the pain points.
one of my favorite books is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which despite what you might assume from its title is NOT a self-help book but instead a work of philosophy from 1974 taking the form of a travelogue. what Robert Pirsig explores in this book is what he calls the Metaphysics of Quality. basically he's trying to understand the split-second judgments we make of things we like and things we don't. i absolutely do not have time to go into the specifics, just know that his Quality refers to the abstract certainty you have when something is Good or Right or Correct or Qualitatively True. like how you pull your hand away unconsciously when you touch a hot stove, but for ideas. you just Know.
a scene that really sticks with me from that book (probably the most famous scene) is when Pirsig describes needing to fix a mechanical problem with his motorcycle only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a stripped screw keeping him from removing the engine cover. he talks about being so focused on the obvious solution to the primary complex problem that, on encountering a smaller, simpler problem that has to be dealt with first, he finds himself completely stuck, calling this "a zero of consciousness." it's a problem so annoying and minuscule and stubbornly unsolvable that you just want to hit the thing with a wrench and throw it in a river. addressing this new problem, this block, requires an adjustment in thinking. and here i'm going to quote a pretty lengthy passage, but don't worry, i'm typing it out by hand with the book in front of me so there's no time saved on my end:
Consider, for a change, that this is a moment to be not feared but cultivated. If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then you may be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas. The solution to the problem often at first seems unimportant or undesirable, but the state of stuckness allows it, in time, to assume its true importance. It seemed small because your previous rigid evaluation which led to the stuckness made it small. But now consider the fact that no matter how hard you try to hang on to it, this stuckness is bound to disappear. Your mind will naturally and freely move toward a solution. Unless you are a real master at staying stuck you can't prevent this. The fear of stuckness is needless because the longer you stay stuck the more you see the Quality-reality that gets you unstuck every time. What's really been getting you stuck is the running from the stuckness [. . .] Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. It's this understanding of Quality as revealed by stuckness which so often makes self-taught mechanics so superior to institute-trained men who have learned how to handle everything except a new situation. Normally screws are so cheap and small and simple you think of them as unimportant. But now, as your Quality awareness becomes stronger, you realize that this one, individual, particular screw is neither cheap nor small nor unimportant. Right now this screw is worth exactly the selling price of the whole motorcycle, because the motorcycle is actually valueless until you get the screw out. With this re-evaluation of the screw comes a willingness to expand your knowledge of it. [. . .] What your actual solution is is unimportant as long as it has Quality. Thoughts about the screw as combined rigidness and adhesiveness and about its special helical interlock might lead naturally to solutions of impaction and use of solvents. That is one kind of Quality track. Another track may be to go to the library and look through a catalog of mechanic's tools, in which you might come across a screw extractor that would do the job. Or to call a friend who knows something about mechanical work. Or just to drill the screw out, or just burn it out with a torch. Or you might just, as a result of your meditative attention to the screw, come up with some new way of extracting it that has never been thought of before that beats all the rest and is patentable and makes you a millionaire five years from now. There's no predicting what's on that Quality track. The solutions all are simple-- after you have arrived at them. But they're simple only when you know already what they are.
this is, in brief, my entire creative philosophy when it comes to writer's block. i share such a lengthy passage because i think it's useful to underline that we're not talking about a problem that is necessarily unique to the labor of writing. this process is a human process. it's just that with writing, the nature of the block itself is often much more difficult to identify than a stripped screw.
there's a couple things i do to try to identify what's got me stuck. a lot of times what happens is that everything in a scene felt good until it didn't, and then everything after that moment fell flat. so i'll go back and read the whole thing and just try to feel the scene. is everyone in character? is their dialogue too quippy, or too aggressive, too expository? are we in the midst of a conversation that has simply gone on way too fucking long? i know it can be torturous to reread your own stuff but idk what else to say except get used to it. especially when you're still early in the drafting phase! like if you know you're not gonna release this thing imminently, there's no reason to be precious about the stuff that's good or to beat yourself up over the stuff that's bad. i know that compulsion to try to Get Everything Right The First Time is strong, but it's completely unsustainable.
sometimes the block is that i just don't feel like writing narration. i've always sucked at grounding a scene with descriptions of the place. lately i'm trying to get away from relying solely on descriptions of staging/blocking, but it's hard for a bitch like me who mostly prefers writing dialogue. i've gotten a lot more comfortable with putting notes between dialogue exchanges like [character moves, looks at picture, has a dramatic thought, other character fiddles with object]. it can feel like cheating sometimes but it's not. there's no such thing. no one will know the route you took to get to the end. they will only see what you show them, when you decide to show it to them.
sometimes the block is in some minor or major betrayal of the story's spirit. the (Terezi) & Jade scene i talked about in this ask is a good example. i hit a point where nothing was working anymore. no one would talk to me. the light was gone. i can always tell when i made the wrong choice. it's such a particular sensation. as though i'm walking and i realize i no longer recognize the road i'm on and must've made a wrong turn somewhere. the solution to this particular block is introspection, retracing my steps, because the wrong turn isn't always obvious. maybe it's that someone in the scene is being too mean, or that i've failed to accomplish what the scene exists to do in some way, or that someone's made an uncharacteristic choice that now everyone in the scene is arguing about and it's like, man, this is taking too long, i'm not enjoying this anymore.
another example from A1 is the second half of the solo. i'd had most of the jasprose scene, the karkat-calliope-roxy scenes, and the vrisrezi-jade scenes written since i posted the A1 chorus. where i ran into trouble was that i needed to get jane, jake, and (terezi) to show up. my original plan was to have them arrive one by one, thus allowing their individual dramas a moment in the spotlight before being subsumed into the group. not a bad idea in theory but in practice it was fucking tedious. here we have a bunch of characters already immersed in the scene captured by the intrigue of Jade being enigmatic, and then some unawares jagoff wanders in and suddenly everyone has to stop what they're doing and be like "hey hello how are you what's up" and then they explain how they got there and then they ask what's up and it's such a DRAG. honestly i would say the majority of my creative blocks by volume are moments when the story really wants me to just cut to black for a smoke break and come back when somebody gets mad enough to throw a punch. i mean that's the the development of A1 in a nutshell. originally everyone was gonna start the track locked up in space-jail on the hopebringer, jade would show up all apologetic and say what she expects padua's deliberation to be, then the whole cast would see her throw a fit over a decision she knew was coming, they'd all be absolved of guilt and let free, then they'd all argue about who's staying or going with Jade in the morning, they'd split up to go pack their stuff and then...
well that was exactly the problem. i wanted to get all the pertinent things out of the way. jade's code switching, voidthought, some EWL teases. give the whole cast a chance to react to it. i thought that would be expedient, because it got the Plot out of the way and gave time to characters for Feelings. if that version of the scene had come at the end of chapter 8, it might have worked. but i realized that as soon as jade's audience was no longer captive, i had no fucking clue what to do with them anymore. we already knew who would go with jade, so acting like that's some kind of mystery is just lame. i started writing A1 from a place of desiring informational density & a quick pace, because we've got places to go and things to do. but if the real purpose of A1 is to explore why these characters choose to go with Jade, then that needed to be done with a lot more care and precision. that's when i decided to let Jade spend two days underground making the earth right again, so that she has to come to everyone individually rather than the other way around. and it muddies her motivations, if you don't mind the pun. it puts her at an appropriate remove from the others. i ultimately wound up conveying all the same information as in the original version, but i did it in a way that was more appropriate thematically and artistically. it wound up being longer road than i anticipated, but this is a long story and in this case the longer road was better for the journey.
take the chapter where Jade visits Roxy. i needed some time with Roxy alone to set the scene, since she's the first person Jade decides to visit and i like writing about the insides of trailer homes. i wanted to get some politics from Jane in this chapter, so hey, why not throw in a televised speech? oh, and then i can have some tucker carlson types remind us that Earth C is a fucking mess. i wrote all that, and it was good, but it was just Roxy watching tv. i tried to get into Jade's arrival and couldn't. so i went back and realized, oh, Roxy should be yelling at the tv the whole time! now we get Jane's politics, Roxy's reactions to those politics, as well as bits and pieces of context re: Jane's relationships with Karkat and Roxy. now when Jade arrives, we can play with the question of whether she heard the speech from outside Roxy's door, and why neither of them was physically at the speech in the first place. there's tension and imbalance in Roxy's state of mind when Jade does arrive, so we're more inside her perspective than we usually are, which in turn helps us identify with her when Jade starts infodumping about antimemes.
so often for me, working through a block is a matter of doing a better job utilizing what's available to you. going back to the A1 solo and trying to bring Jake, Jane, and (Terezi) into the scene. i finally returned to it after a couple months of being sick and dealing with life problems. i was frustrated because i'd hoped to be several tracks in to 3.2 by now, and instead i was confronted with just how much more of this thing is left and how long that might take if i couldn't pick up the pace. this thing NEEDED to get done.
and then i remembered that Jasprose is literally right there.
and that was it! problem fucking solved! i had jasprose drop all three of them into the scene completely unceremoniously using manic teleportation through a fenestrated plane, and from there the entire rest of the chapter erupted out of me in a single go. it's such an obvious solution to the problem that you as reader probably assumed it was the plan from the very beginning. but it's like Pirsig says: the solutions all are obvious-- after you've arrived at them.
then there's the problem of overwriting. i actually did i think four different versions of the opening to the A1 solo. the first person narration was a late addition. i tweaked that scene so so so many times. it kept feeling close but not quite. when i did the thing where i reread to find where the block happened, instead of actually reading the thing i just kept finding spots where i could write more. i can extend this anecdote. this line could be better. maybe a comma here would work better than an ellipsis...
this can be good because sometimes what's blocking you is that you skipped over something that needed more time. maybe some information or a dramatic emphasis that gives the stuff you can't yet write the momentum it needs to get going again. but i've gotta be real careful doing this, because i can do it forever. and then, as you describe (hey look, i'm actually talking about your specific problem now!), that hyper-polished section sets everything else up to fail by comparison.
i think the trick is knowing the difference between when a scene needs an editing pass vs when a scene just straight up isn't working. when it's not working, sometimes you do just have to throw it all out and start over. but if it's good enough that you feel like all it's missing is better dialogue and some more description, then you can hold off on that polish until the rest of the thing is done. this conundrum is most common at the beginning of a chapter or story in my experience, precisely as a result of the process i've been describing this whole time. when you hit a block and retrace your steps, you can always find things to fix. so it's sort of natural that any given chapter becomes less polished the further along you get in to it. that's why it's so important to understand the differences between all these different types of blocks, and to remind yourself that literally nothing you've written is finished until the moment you've made it public.
a big part of getting the A1 solo out the door was me swallowing my desire for perfection in every exchange and saying, no, this is good enough. it's not 100% what i want, but it's close enough that it just isn't worth the effort it would take to get there. sometimes there are scenes that are worth that effort, but they are always rarer than you think and they're never the ones you'd expect. i will freely admit that there are a lot of characters expositing their motivations in this chapter. i tried to embed as much of that in humor or drama as i could, but sometimes you just have to shrug your shoulders and walk away and hope your readers will be nice to you.
of course the funny thing is, once i finished the chapter and had all the panels sketched out and wiped my hands clean of the whole affair, janet needed two weeks to make the images. so i ended up having time to polish up a couple of those things that i felt were lacking after all. but those additions were radically small and intuitive, because i'd divorced myself from the raw production and had committed to so many directions that i *couldn't* change much. i'm so used to writing for release that i don't know what to do with myself when my part of the job is done before i can kick it out the door. i've come to find that waiting, taking breaks, walking away and coming back, do wonders for your ability to egolessly examine your work and identify what's wrong. sometimes you just need a day or two to sleep on it.
and sometimes you realize that you've really just over-written a scene, out of preciousness or insecurity or whatever else, and the result is so much bigger than everything else you want to do that it's more expedient to just scrap it. i hate when this happens, man. i did this with an early version of the A1 chorus, when Jade is stuck in space alone and shouting about how unfair her life has been. you know sometimes there's an emotion in a scene that's addictive. some bit of pathos that you just feel down to your bones, fuck me man, this is so GOOD, this is so JUICY, this shit has QUALITY. it's so good you don't want it to be finished. so you keep writing it, and writing it, and you rewrite it, and you add to it, because you really want to squeeze every drop of emotion you can from the thing. and then you wind up with a bloated melodramatic mess that's so overplayed you've annihilated everything that compelled you to write it in the first place.
i want to be clear that this isn't wasted work. nothing you ever put to the page, no matter how ultimately useless it might prove to be, is wasted work. the way i see this whole process, top to bottom, is that there's this thing. i don't know what it is, but it's there. maybe it starts with an image, or a line of dialogue, or a relationship, or a natural vista, whatever. it can be anything. what matters is it's a sign pointing you in a direction. it's something that has Quality that you can feel with such potent immediacy that you have no choice but to write it. the act of writing is something of an expedition, because the real magic of it comes when those disparate signs start colliding with one another. an image becomes a scene, a house, a world, a universe. sometimes these signs lead to dead ends, but with experience you learn to tell the dead ends from the rough patches. you learn how to make your own way. you do this by listening to what this thing is telling you. every story i've ever written has known better than me what it wants. i can impose so much onto it, i control 90% of the process at least. but that other 10% cannot, should not be quantified or controlled but simply understood. if you try to bottle the flame, you'll just end up snuffing it out.
no artist really knows why they do what they do or how they're able to pull it off. they can tell you their methods, their process, their coping mechanisms, they can write ludicrously lengthy diatribes on tumblr in response to an innocuous ask, but you can't pin down the soul of the thing. Quality is ephemeral, because it's first. it happens before you've had time to think, like putting your hand on a hot stove. you just know. and you have to trust that knowledge to carry you forward, not second guess it too much, not try to wrangle the thing into a shape it doesn't want to assume. sometimes this requires writing scenes that you don't love, because it's easier to build a messy bridge between the moments that drive you than it is to perfect every single moment out of an artificial commitment to like, Being A Good Writer or whatever.
a lot of this is just practice. you get better at communicating with your creative impulses. but also i think it helps to internalize that nobody sees the rough drafts, nobody sees the duct tape. and nobody knows the perfect vision you'll be convinced you failed to meet. nobody has ever made a perfect thing, and no one ever will. who wants to be perfect, anyway? godfeels wouldn't be what it is if i wasn't willing to let it be messy. if i'd tried to do it better, it never would have gotten done, and nothing i'm doing now would have even conceptually gotten to exist.
also, it's okay to abandon shit when it stops feeling good. i have so many unfinished books kicking around from my 20s, dude. i feel bad about some of them, but ten years not finishing books is still ten years spent writing. it's actually quite rare for good ideas to result in finished works, because good ideas are cheap and they're not all for you. but you gotta keep trying anyway because sooner or later you'll catch a spark that has real gas, and if you've done the work you'll be ready for it. it'll feel like destiny. it'll feel like magic, how matched that idea is to your skill level. but it won't be magic, it'll be skill. if you hadn't put the work in to know how to follow that intuition, it'd be just as dead an end as everything else you never finished. you do the work so that when you get lucky you can take advantage of it. so in that context, writing is quite low stakes. if it's not good enough, fuck it, try something else!
anyway i hope there's some decent insight buried in here somewhere. thanks for such a good question!
#sarahposts#writing advice#writing tips#homestuck#godfeels#zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance#robert pirsig#metaphysics#writer's block#creative block#art block
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im writing my broad opinion on AI art now that im on an autistic tangent about it. im kinda cooked from yesterday so sorry if i dont make much sense
my issue with (serious) AI art is not because of moral or ethical implications arising from the technology itself, but rather from the general userbase itself. like i believe most of us can fucking tell if something's ai generated when we see it right. Bear in mind i said serious AI art. you know i love a good seinfeld screenshot of jerry and kramer going into the void or george dressed as a cossack
anyways generally speaking the kind of people generating those serious illustrations are all either 1. recycled nftbros 2. porn freaks or 3. children. And im gonna be real i do not like that kind of AI art even if its just a harmless illustration of a pokemon or whatever. to me it feels like those ppl are either kids who i Do Not Think should be on the net, or basement dwelling deviantart incels who are like 'Computer generate sexy gardevoir vore inflation feet pics'. the kind of people who wouldve had no problem stealing others' art. just sayin.
well actually theres a fourth category and those are companies and public institutions that use AI art (often as some sort of money laundering scheme, if i may add) and those are the ones ACTUALLY hurting artists because You See you could be actually hiring someone instead of using fucking midjourney or bing. this is a very common practice here in spain even if it ends up looking like literal shit, see:
also theres this yearly art contest in either valencia or catalunya where ppl submit illustrations of snails and this year's winner was a very blatantly AI generated pic created by some turkish individual who is rumored to not even exist. its a rabbit hole but looking up bedhiran akagündüz (or, likewise, rubén lucas garcía) should set you on the right track
Now let me be clear: i vehemently hate anti-ai luddites and picrew fandomites and ive always been very vocal about this. and quite frankly im tired of the moral panic steeming from anything AI-generated as if it was the antichrist!!!!! you all just sound reactionary as fuck. AI art is certainly not stealing from you and the only exceptions to this rule are very very very blatant copies, and you almost never see those unless were talking about nft-adjacent ponzi scheme websites. would you consider collages theft? music samples? AI just draws "inspiration" (for lack of a better word) from the illustrations that it is fed because its like a tabula rasa and it needs knowledge, just like us human beings are inspired by other people's artstyles. the end product is something that doesnt even look similar to the data it is fed because it is an amalgamation of different styles that create something unique. is that theft? be for fucking real
this stupid myth about the brutal energy consumption of AI art generation as well as the whole ‘did you know that every time you generate one picture youre wasting an entire bottle of water????’ argument... im sorry to say none of that is true. ai isn't even the most water-intensive sector if we're comparing it with other industrial sectors like petroleum/coal factories or wineries or paperboard mills. training datasets IS resource-intensive but its normally a one-time process, inference (which is what you use daily) is not any less efficient than looking something up on google for example:
this whole 'carbon footprint' bullshit that has been sold to us is just a tactic to divert attention from the actual polluters which are corporations like coca-cola or exxon or bp. You know this you get your praxis from this website.
regarding the whole 'AI is theft' argument, im just going to share these tags that someone left in another post i made:
like a clear example of anti-ai panic actively hurting artists is the backlash that okame-p, a vocaloid artist, got for using AI generated illustrations as the ACCOMPANIMENT for his songs:
and to be honest this is a huge problem regarding western vocafans who often have the emotional maturity of a peanut. youre so so so hellbent on demonizing others just for using a technology that is widely available to everyone, that youre willing to throw them under the bus and delegitimize everything they do just because it hurts your feelings well im not going to fucking stay quiet about that
who do you think youre talking to you stupid fucking bitch. god this person makes me so mad.
Anyways my point is: ai is like acupuncture; just like the latter can be used to treat or alleviate different ailments but it cant completely treat cancer like modern medicine would; AI can be complimentary, but it can NEVER replace actual labor. its merely a worktool! its merely meant to automatize daily tasks!!! its not your enemy i promise. Ok im tired of writing goo buh buh
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WeLL here we are...i want to write s/t quick to remember the year by. cus 2023 was probly one of my most significant years of life, even tho from the surface it may appear not much changed for me, 2023 laid the foundation,,,
firstly, january 2023 i began learning to make music, which is crazy like!!!! it has absolutely given me a new reason to be lieve in myself like i nvr had b4. its like unlocking a new area of my heart, and inutuion.. its so FUN, so so fun ohhh the fun i have, provides me w a brighter outlook for the future as i will always have this melodic part of me activated,going forward. ive learned so much in just a year. idk i just love it it makes me feel wise and complete i feel like an alchemist. i cld rly say a lot on the sense of security music has made me feel in my heart :'0 but i have some other things to get to;
summer 2023 i started doing yoga which has also changed things for me dramatically i think ive released a lot of built up stagnant energy from my body & aura. since i started i feel immensely more balanced n able to work thru my emotions as they come up. ngl when ppl used to recommend me to try yoga i thout it was hippie shit but its real lol.. im finding sm contentment in day to day life than i ever thought possible, easier time being present, yet another thing i will continue for the rest of my future that 2023 has given me.
these r good things but it must b said that this year has been Soooo rough for me in certain ways, mostly due to interpersonal relationships.. some ppl had to b let go from my life this year in ways i rly wasnt expecting & for a lot of the year things were just, foggy. however as things draw to a close im feeling immensely grateful like.. every1 im close to rn are all peaceful souls & we uplift each other, i see now why the ones causing drama naturally had to fall away. even if it was painful process im feeling so supported rn, & reciprocated TwwwT <3333
idk it just felt like as i was progressing w musical understanding, yoga stuff , as well as the past few months trying to use tea and herbs to get my organs in order, i feel that.. my energetic field is rly repairing itself & so a lot of old attachments just cant keep up anymore.
i have to say, well, erm, i am really in love w slimbo and its different than anything ive ever felt in my life. we've been in love for a long long time & i dont talk about it often as i am protective of this love. but god, its just, the purest bond ive ever known and our love for each other is deeper all the time. we r both life path 27/9 & the first time we met it literally felt like.. reuniting, it felt like a celebration..i had never noticed such warmth from someone. i cld never be in such a secure place rn if it wasnt for slimbo & every day im so grateful like dude i owe you my LIFE. idk how to explain it, we are just One. slimbo is my angel i cant wait to spend 2024 & forever with <3
if u read this far....ur a true PMDhead, thanks for being oomfies w me out here on the big wide web, i hope you bloom this year, & this can be a shift in the right direction for all of us <3 i believe palestine will be free. happy new year everyone, GANBATTE VIVA 2024 <333 -PMD9LL
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