#im nervous about posting this

[starrynightsistube]

Started getting into Darkstalkers. I cannot for the life of me string a proper combo but I've been enjoying it so far. Felicia is my favorite so far. Also, Driftloon cause a friend asked me to draw them

[random-basil-lover]

This is a Basil drawing I made 2 days before i finished the game. The flower in Basil's mouth is a Marigold. Click for quality! (Actually, tumblr ate the quality anyways lmao)

[morbiderotica]

bestie (anyone who writes for mello is immediately my bestie) I would LOVE to hear anything you think about dear sweet mihael. like, what's the deal with his relationship with religion? Did he partake in drugs during his time in the mafia? Actually I'd take ANY headcanon about the time he spent between leaving wammy's and when he's introduced as an adult. Did he have a kindred spirits sort of thing with Matt because neither one of them was the best! (even tho mello cared a lot more about it than matt did)? I just want to pick your brain so bad 🥺

─ ★ headcanons ... tw: religious trauma, implied accidental overdose + more.

♡ when he left wammy's he was lost and confused

♡ he practically had everyone telling him he was never going to be good enough and always going to be second to near

♡ he obviously didn't really have anything and often resorted to stealing

♡ sometimes food though most of the time substances

♡ i feel like he just really needed an anchor to lean on so he started praying

♡ at wammys they said a grace prayer before eating meals so he wasn't a stranger to praying

♡ he spent countless nights just screaming at "whatever god was there" trying to get an answer

♡ he prayed and prayed and sought help from any higher up

♡ it drained him so much that he started doing drugs and sometimes even drinking

♡ he was very adamant about not keeping in touch with anyone from wammy's excluding matt

♡ after one too many pills or too many bottles of beer mello was without a doubt calling matt

"it's 4 in the morning, mello." matt paused. "are you okay?" worry overtook his voice and mello could hear the rustling of blankets. "matt." mello hummed with ease, letting the boys name fall off his tongue. "mello." matt sighed. "what is it this time?" he inquired, knowing mello was probably sulking again. "i miss you." he slurred.

"how drunk are you?" matt was growing more concerned. mello expressing his feelings? unheard of. "i can't do this without you." matt could hear mello shuffle followed by the sound of things hitting the floor. "shit." mello bent down to pick up the scattered pills. "mello? what did you drop? pills? i thought you were drinking." matt was now wide awake. "i am." that was enough for matt to forget about his prolonged sleep and find mello as quick as he could.

♡ after that wherever mello went, matt went too including the mafia

♡ mello was very against the idea, obviously not wanting matt to get hurt, but theyre both stubborn assholes so

♡ matt kinda just let mello do his own thing

♡ you know, the usual, popping pills, fucking whoever and whenever, murdering anyone who got in the way

♡ when mello would get "cranky" as everyone would call it, matt would be there right next to him

"you don't have to stay." mello's leg was bouncing relentlessly. "last time i left you alone you fucking-" matt was angry, but not at mello, so he stopped mid sentence, thinking of his next words carefully. "i want to stay... for you." mello nodded. "i get it, you know. so, if you wanna talk 'bout anything, well, i'm all ears." matt didn't get it, but mello accepted his offer anyway.

♡ even though he never got clarity from any sort of god he can't bring himself to stop praying, even after joining the mafia

♡ he prayed day and night, for himself and for matt

♡ the thing that really got him though was when matt died

♡ he tried everything, bargained everything he could, begged for matt's life only to once again not be heard or answered

"mello, whadda doing, we gotta go." matt was getting impatient. "yeah, one sec." his fingers moved from one bead on the rosary to the next, mouthing words engraved into his brain. matt stared silently, watching mello pray. "is this really necessary? i mean you do this every time you have to-" "it's not for me." mello whispered before placing the rosary back around his neck.

─ ★ bonus ...

♡ he tried to get off the drugs and started eating chocolate in place of them

♡ it didn't work

♡ now he's addicted to drugs and chocolate

♡ one time one of the mafia guys punched matt and mello was furious

♡ he tore the whole place apart, screaming, throwing things, and threatening to kill the guy

♡ matt just kinda followed him around aimlessly trying to calm him down

♡ he ended up killing the guy

♡ he tried to find his parents at one point after drinking too much

♡ ran databases and pulled up birth certificates and everything

♡ he cried himself to sleep when he couldn't find anything

i love you /p 😭

[aceinacloset]

Wip

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[soldierkitten]

tilly the god au ep 1 (part 1 of 4 I think)

starting stuff / prev stuff / next stuff

[obscurecrows]

nightmares

[catonthemountain]

~Special Agent Dana Scully~

Hi X files fandom ?

I've been lurking around for a while since I started watching (I just got to season 8) and it's so cool to see such an old fandom be so active and so nice to newcomers

I don't feel like I fully did Scully justice, but I'll keep trying

[brizie-doodles]

Been stalling on posting but s/o to @ask-spiderpool 's lovley Anita and Peter...they are everything 💖💖💖

[lightnersdream]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[avpdpossum]

can we talk more about avpd being a (proposed) schizospec disorder? because i almost never see that theory talked about but i wish it was. like…

avpd makes me censor my thoughts because i think someone might hear what i’m thinking and see what a horrible person i am on the inside or judge me for thinking embarrassing things.

avpd makes me so afraid of someone walking in on me doing something i Shouldn’t Be Doing that my brain twists background noise into the sounds of whispers and footsteps behind me.

avpd makes me so worried about people staring at me that in my peripheral vision, anyone near me looks like they’re already staring at me, and it’s only when i look at them directly that i realize they’ve been looking in a totally different direction the whole time.

avpd makes me so convinced of how much everyone must secretly hate me that i often start thinking everyone secretly wants to hurt me too, to the point where i’ve had panic attacks from a person walking too close behind me because i feel like they’re getting ready to attack me (when i haven’t had any kind of trauma that would create that fear), and the paranoia just serves to reinforce my need to avoid people.

avpd makes me lose my ability to speak or reduces it to nothing more than one word answers only when spoken to, turning the thoughts i wanted to express into a jumble that’s impossible to turn into words or just throwing them away completely and making my mind go blank, so i end up just staring at people silently or even acting like i don’t see them standing there at all (not on purpose but because my brain won’t let me engage with them).

avpd makes me look damn near emotionless around everyone but my safe person (and sometimes even around my safe person) because showing my emotions would be far too vulnerable for its liking, so it completely takes away my ability to express them.

and i could keep going! there are so many things i experience because of avpd that i’ve seen really closely reflected in the experiences of schizospec people. i don’t know how common these kinds of things are in avpd overall, but they’re a really prominent part of my experience with it, so when i found out that some research suggested it could be considered a schizospec disorder itself, that made so much sense to me! and i’d be so curious to see how many other avoidants have dealt with this stuff but haven’t talked about it because it’s never mentioned as being part of avpd.

[courfee]

a fated threat with fated thread

falling in love during attempted murder - based on this post

[palskippah]

Hi!

@shapeshiftinterest ’s art of kid Bowser and Luigi is the cutest thing, so I drew some of them too!

[spaceistheplaceart]

had more thoughts about genderqueer layton after my last post. thought about how it would be for her/him in the 60s/70s... then this comic spawned

[yabee-tea]

Fanart of some of my favorite group separated AUs!!

(Top left) Red Rover by @red-rover-au

(Top right) Separated AU by @cupcakeslushie

(Bottom left) Bloodbath AU by @trubblegumm

(Bottom right) Life Mission by @daedelweiss

[tagetto]

he stinks of diesel fumes, solder flux & cigarette smoke which has caked itself over the years into the fan blades of a used prebuilt msi gaming PC bought from ebay dot com core 2 duo high performance rtx 2.5 tdi 1.6 litre engine top speed of 48.3mph.