#im mentally ill again
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i want to put them in a blender
#maws#my adventures with superman#the way this show changed my life#im mentally ill again#clark kent#lois lane#jimmy olsen#also i redraw clark like 5 times#and its still not right#my art
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Listening to Home Where by Sir Chloe and thinking about Tim Drake alone in Drake Manor does in fact cause physical and psychological damage
Anyway I can’t shut up about Tim Drake so I need someone to put me down before it affects my brain chemistry or something like that
#Tim Drake#sir Chloe#Batman#Red Robin#im mentally ill again#can’t stop linking songs to fictional charafters and events#don’t know what’s wrong with me
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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I am going insane about these stoats
(my insta is @trisideseye and that's where I mostly post art. I'm purely posting here bc @quiddie is active on here and I need aabria to know, personally ,how fucked up I am about these stoats)
#burrows end#burrows end spoilers#burrows end tula#tula burrows end#brennan lee mulligan#aabria iyengar#i. abandoned tumblr. i am trying to not use tumblr for any more than following people. i used to post here but i gave up bc i got annoyed#im in physical pain. every ounce of me doesnt want to post my cool art on fuckung tumblr.#tumblr CANNOT be my main social again. I need to give my socials to EMPLOYERS. i want to make art for a JOB#but there are more dimension 20 bitches on tumblr than insta bc its the mentally ill platform#and i need. peiple to understand how fycked up i am abt this stoat mom.#im insane. im insane. im insane. im biting this piece of media im the jugular like i myself am a stoat#and i cant SAY that on instagram the EMPLOYERS will have my ass!!!!!!#anyways.#dimension 20
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not to be dramatic but . one piece makes me feel like i love being alive actually.
#one piece#i did not ever have so much fun in any kind of show before . i love one piece. i love u luffy#im also mentally ill but thats not important!!! gear 5 . what a lad#the day is started one piece many years ago life was worth living again im not even joking#nvi.txt
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It sucks so much that as someone with a severe and persistent mental illness it's MY responsibility to jump through hoops and be proactive in contacting people at limited times of the day just to get MY MEDS THAT I'VE BEEN TAKING CONSISTENTLY FOR YEARS
#im pissed off rn cause my pharmacy couldnt refill one of my meds and told me to contact my dr#whose office is closed for the week but online it says they cant perscribe that med anymore????#was someone gonna tell me???#idek what to do now besides get a whole new dr at a different clinic and do all the transfer bullshit just to once again get a med#that i have been stable on for over 5 years#like people always want us schizos to be on our meds but then the system makes it so hard!!!??!!?!?!#tw meds#tw medication#tw caps#schizophrenia#mental illness#nd#neurodivergent#psychosis#schizophrenic#actuallyschizophrenic#mental health awareness#pseriouslypsychotic#actually schizospec
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whoever designed her ,,,,,,,,,,,they knew what they were doin
#qkdraws#id in alt#GOD she's so cool#rika my friend rika she's the coolest ever in the whole wide world !!!11!!!!111!!!!1#idk what it is abt her that makes me always add halftone effects to her but . she's gettin em#she's literally the coolest ever.have i mentioned that yet#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon rika#rika pokemon#elite four rika#SHE'S SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok im normal <3#i need to dye my hair that color again for my mental stability it Needs to be done#ill blow up the earth if i don't. ill blowit up#i wonder how much gender euphoria ill experience if i dress like that. i have a feeling it'd be enough to end countries#one day . one day ill be half as cool as her
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here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud!!
✷(print shop)✷
#mine#original#euheuhe hello..i hope everyone is having a good day#we are going on a bird boat thing on wednesday im very excited about it#what else.....me and my bf went on a walk on sunday and i saw damsel flies and shield bugs and a duck with 13 ducklings#i bought a jellycat sun bag which is now all i talk about#ive started reading assassins apprentice by robin hobb!!!! its so good!!!!#im so excited there are so many books in the series to read#i doubt i will like all of them but i will give them all a go#today i will stop and hve dinner n then walk the dog and then do exercise and have a bath#and then i will. play zelda#and then tomorrow i will do shop stuff and also help my mum buy a bench apparently#i need to buy snacks also. i hve a snack stash in my rooom bc of mental illness purposes and i am low.....need snacks#maybe i will do that tomorrow. brain schedule is full up for today sorry#also. unrelated. i have my period???? again????? ive already had it this month hello i dont need another im good im all done#my hormones r going ??OAGHGHGHUH#also i want like . cute bra. but like not a bra like just cloth thats like. tit shaped. a bralet? is that what that is? no idea#anyway. hve nice evening. or else.#i have a headache#OH ALSO. i need to legally chnage my name SKFSABJSBK#put that on th todo list#i cant rmemeber how 2 do it i think it was very straight forward n cost like. £10 or smth
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bleh
#hi all. lucy here#i have barely been drawing lately because ive just been unable to#like i feel like i lost my spark. i dunno#i used to draw so much and make so many comics when i was absolute rock bottom mentally#like the funnier i was the worse i was doing#ive been better lately but i truly feel like ive almost sacrificed my ability to draw or create stuff for some more mental stability#i just....i dont know. i feel like i can't do anything i used to do with art. like im not funny or have no ideas or just think stuff like#oh ill just draw this because people will wanna see it#but i gave that up because not even i wanna see it anymore#i hope that i can feel like drawing again one day i just dont know how to get it back. it really feels like ive lost a major part of myself#this is my rambling here just to let you know i am still around just kind of laying low because im drained
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I will not stand idle this time.
There's things happening!
@ask-bad-end-sunny
#HAUUH HGHHGHHG SAVE MEEE... . GOODBYE#OMORI#OMORI Stranger#OMORI Sunny#Omori character#OMORI SOMETHING#My doodles#My art#im mentally ill#drawing this made me realize im full swing hyperfixated again. THERES NO ESCAPEEEEEE#Stranger#Sunny#Truth boi#Son boi#Knife boi#ID in alt#OMORI spoilers
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dsmp is still SO insane to me. still not completely convinced it wasn't a social experiment. it is something that can never be replicated again due to the really specific circumstances that attributed to it's creation and popularity
#the combination of everyone being inside due to the pandemic#the community giving everyone a space to connect#in a time where loneliness and mental health was reaching an all time high especially among youth#like idk. even after everything and a handful of ccs being revealed to be horrible shitbags#the dsmp will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart.#a story told in a medium no one has really explored before#the unique fantasy setting......the three life system allowing for more high stakes moments since there a character#could die multiple times to raise stakes#the emphasis placed on familial and platonic dynamics and how THEY can be just as complex and entertaining to watch/read abt like /r ships#the fandom revolutionizing gen fics and making a familial relationship reach the TOP OF AO3 STATS ONE YEAR???? insanity.#also just the ppl.#the amount of talented musicians and artists and writers and editors and all the ppl who lovingly transcripted and compiled lore streams#LIKE UGH.#im so emo about it#unfiltered queer representation bcuz#the story wasnt washed down by a corporation as it was given directly from the storytellers to the audience#the multiple povs allowing ppl to experience the same story in completely different ways#excellent depictions of the effects of mental illness/ptsd and 'imperfect' abuse survivors#ctommy my beloved#LIKE SIGH. WE ARE NEVER GETTING THAT AGAIN IN A FANDOM SPACE I FEAR#ok lol. ignore my rantings#dsmp#dream smp#starry text
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#psychonauts#gristol malik#theodore malik#<-Yeah. Hes there#psychonauts 2 spoiler#nightmaretheater#time on canvas: 8 hours#also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger#rips my hair out rips my eyes out#Hi Ugly. Points at him#travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay#you will get my message#as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level.#im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that#(its his parents (he only knows propaganda))#i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him#kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game#<-once again. Not excusing his actions#also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops
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realising its almost october which is great because spooky season but also im a marauders fan.
#im going to die of heartbreak#i dont think ill be able to deal with the grief AGAIN#its going to hurttttt#october#marauder era#marauders halloween#its strange that that isnt a tag hm#halloween marauders#neither is that#interesting#anyways#i will have my heart ripped out of my chest and im not mentally stable enough for this man#marauders#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#sirius black#james x regulus#remus lupin#starchaser#wolfstar#dead gay wizards#emphasis on dead
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spread the spores
(my mother spore arc is just beginning)
#the cottage is eating my brain#grian#grian fanart#hermitcraft grian#hermitcraft fanart#hermitblr#mother spore grian#idk what im doing#i love him#sorry#it will happen again#i may be mentally ill#but im freee#my art
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Rob Lucci, government agent and the physical embodiment of [Aggressive Finger Guns]
#dont try anything funny these bad boys are LOADED#once again my best work is inevitably done on stickynotes at a coffee shop#also. man. im midway through Wholecake island now but mentally im still in water 7#sometimes i think ill never leave (affectionate)#rob lucci#rob lucci one piece#cp9 one piece#cp9#cp0#one piece cp0#cp9 rob lucci#op paulie#paulie one piece#galley la#water 7#water 7 spoilers#enies lobby#hattori one piece#artists on tumblr#one piece#lmao i left this in my drafts for too long and now im at egghead
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