#im mentally ill about this fictional 8 year old i fear

[nblatinotails]

hes my favorite i think <3

dump of unfinished tails from various magmas eheheh

[kuiperror]

TELL ME ABOUT THE CHIPMUNKS LORE. pretty please.

1st thank you for indulging me (even tho i asked lol) 2nd.maybe dont open this unless you want to get blasted with useless information + unimportant yet dearly held opinions + offtopic addendums + true sincerity. i tried to hold back guys im sorry. hold onto your hats im getting fucking crazy in here

firstly ill summarize and say that my "version" of the story of aatc [1] is basically just an idealized version of the "lore" the 1960s version gave us (i say "lore" in quotations bc there was. none lol).

now a lot of my ideas concerning the "lore" of story are interconnected to my opinions about the actual application of aatc media in real life . for instance, the story is set, vaguely, around the late 1950s - early to mid 1960s, like the irl "run" of the original chipmunks records. i personally believe that, as a real media franchise, aatc really has no reason to exist within our modern world with the technology we have today [2] so aatc as a fictional story is affected similarly. along with that, when the story is played out in the context of 1960s america it creates a richer thematical experience as the themes are compounded and expanded on. [3] a lot of the themes that i consider Essencial to the story deal with acceptance of differences and familial love and questioning of ones own humanity and sense of belonging, both within oneself and within the family unit and within larger society, and conservative 1960s suburban america is just a rlly good backdrop to place all of that. so basically i believe in the Contextuality of 1960s aatc and i love to allude to those contexts within the story.

another thing about my version is that i allow it to be inconsistent both with itself or with real life, just cuz it doesn't really have to be. for instance, this story has a floating timeline and i consider the chipmunk's ages to range from 8 - 10 years old— theodore is 8, alvin is 9, simon is 10. (simon is the oldest in the 1960s era idc who says what, i will die on this hill) however at the same time i think it would make the most sense for them to come from the same litter, which would make them all the same age. so i consider the chipmunks to be different ages while also considering they were born at the same time. i do have an in-world resolution for this discrepancy [4] but you get what im saying: my version of events is a little fictional story for me and me only so inconsistencies like that can be brushed over . mainly so i don't think too deeply about the logistics of things (cuz i tend to do that to avoid any possible criticism cuz i am Afraid of flaw) . like i'll catch myself being like "but how does the development of a real 8yo match theodore's behavior? 🤨" and i have to tell myself "bro.. this is a fictional cartoon world ur literally talking about a talking chipmunk its Not That Serious it doesn't have to be that realistic dude" so i just say its my own little play place and i get to do what i want :)

my version of the backstory of the chipmunks is not really all there in terms of external and internal consistency, but it mostly resembles the 1980s series' backstory where dave finds the chipmunks on his doorstep. (see [4] for entire story) i think that the months after dave took them in were honestly a p dark period for the family. i don't imagine dave had good support system and i think the mental struggle of suddenly caring for 3 incredibly strange children all the while fearing societal reactions to them (which restricted him from getting the help he needed) [5] definitely aged him. ithink hes like, early 30s when the chipmunks arrive, late 30s when the timeline "starts floating"... not as young as most (?) fans/iterations interpret him to be. i think that, before "the chipmunk song" was created, dave had raised the chipmunks for like.. 3-5ish years. what i'm saying is that dave definitely took in the chipmunks out of the kindness of his own heart and not cuz he wanted to capitalize on their singing prowess (aHEM looking at a certain movie 🤨)

also, i like to accentuate the animal-ness of the boys by taking real world information about chipmunks and applying it to them :) in general its a little bit of a pet peeve of mine when ppl just completely disregard the animal part of funny animal characters... esp with alvin and the chipmunks bc thats like. Their Whole Thing . they are chipmunks ? why do you just ignore that 😭

now i have talked a LOT about angsty stuff but i do want to make it clear that legit all this stuff is the subtext and background for interactions shown within the 1960s chipmunk media. the chipmunks are still happy kids who have fun and goof around and piss off david !! its just that they have fears and their own Issues like any real person.

so yeah! thats my chipmunk lore!! ^^ i have a whole document about my version so im definitely. fucking insane about the chipmunks. if any other aatc fans are reading this please be nice to me 😦 i feel as though i am very much a weirdo in my sandbox all alone soo dont h8 me plz :)

and just to send it off with some silly lore here are some random headcanons for each character that i have taken straight from my lore document ^^

alvin: would 100% be a leash kid . just sayin (as a former leash kid myself)

alvin: takes after david musically— when he writes his own music and makes up little songs to himself it sounds very similar to the songs dave writes. alvin doesn't recognize this but dave definitely does :,)

alvin: insecure about his height and constantly reassures himself that he will have a growth spurt when hes older

simon: loves loves LOVEs non-conventional and instrumental music! especially those set in different modes

simon: astronaut kid he loves space and wants to b an astronaut . born at just the right time B)

simon: knows better than to follow along with alvin's troublemaking + rebelliousness, occasionally tries to push back, but often is just like. fuck it we ball and goes along with it, especially if its fun ^^

theodore: LOVES the technical aspect of music + the recording process . he will tell you all about the science behind how vinyl records work unprompted.

theodore: doesnt like to sing solos as much as his brothers do bc of past childhood asthma at age 3 and also because he can not stop himself from giggling when hes singing hes just so happy :)! (THIS ONE IS CANON 💥💥💥 SOURCE: UP ON THE HOUSETOP CHRISTMAS W THE CHIPMUNKS VOL 1 ‼️)

theodore: although he is the most naive of the bunch, he is not dumb . hes just a little kid who likes being silly !

dave: before taking the chipmunks in in his early 30s he was the world's most regular guy . wrote hits for other people, continues to do that occasionally into the boys's careers

dave: literally has a song for everything . he will do everything to a beat .

dave: embroiders and cross-stitches to regulate his anger + knows how to sew really well since he has 2 make all of the boys' clothes. (CANON ⁉️😍) also it was his decision to color-code and embroider their initials onto everything they wear lmfao

FOOTNOTES (color coded for your convenience!)

[1] - in this post i refer to the media franchise as "aatc" (alvin and the chipmunks) and refer to the actual trio of characters as "the chipmunks" to avoid confusion. i just want it to be said that i personally dont like to call the media franchise "alvin & the chipmunks" on account of the whole "uuu if alvins a chipmunk why is it called alvin & the chipmunks" joke, i personally prefer to call the franchise just "the chipmunks" as it is shorter and includes the 1960s era as for most of it the franchise went by several different iterations (if we lived in a perfect world the franchise would still be called "david seville and the chipmunks" . just saying)

[2] - back in the early 60s, combining pitch-shifted vocals and character-acting was an innovative technique that took real time, effort, knowledge and skill to achieve. but nowadays not only is the concept no longer fresh but literally anyone can create their own "chipmunk" vocals in a matter of minutes. the story & characters (also nostalgia) are really the only thing keeping the aatc franchise going, esp since that's what more modern iterations of aatc focus on rather than the actual music.

[3] - in the media outside of their albums (the alvin show & the dell comics, specifically) there is always an underlying theme of comparison between david and the boys and the 1960s concept of a nuclear american family. its not exactly an "Intentional" theme, it more or less comes with the (irl) time-period the original aatc media was created in. the seville household is, inherently, a subversion of the ideal of the "perfect family" that households were compared against and strived to be, even at the expense of their own comfort, ideals, safety, etc. this subversion can be played into for drama and angst in a richer, more plausible way than it would be if the story were set in a more modern time period, u know? but yeah i believe that, as a fictional story, aatc shouldn't be divorced from the context of the attitudes and values of what mainstream society thought a family should be in the 1960s.

[4] - essentially in my version of events, dave was given no information about the boys and he basically made up their ages. when david found them in his backyard, they were oversized chipmunks as large as your average cat. they all sort of acted like young human children, but they were a lot more... chipmunk than child. they could only babble— but the sounds were recognizable as human speech. dave was obviously freaked out and resolved to keep an eye on them whenever they were in his backyard. he really only resolved to take them in due to the fact that he could literally see them change throughout a single week. how i imagine the chipmunks' biology is that they are a mixture of human and chipmunk (not literally, mind you, more as a physiological, figurative thing) so they have the intelligence and development of a human while still doing certain things like undertaking hibernation, wanting to forage and stockpile and burrow, things like that. however their growth rate is incredibly fucked up, going from the actual size of a newborn baby chipmunk to the size of a human toddler within like, a year. with this rapid growth also comes more human-like intelligence. once they were actually living in his house, dave knew there was something human about them with these creatures so he couldn't just let them return to the wild, especially since they were becoming more and more dependent on him and more and more human-like as days passed... i definitely think there was a moment of pure clarity for dave where he realized like. wow, that's a child. these things are children. and they are relying on me to provide for them. they are absolutely attached to me by now. and i think i might actually be attached to them too. and thats when he decided to name them and truly care for them like any other human child. overtime the chipmunks slowed their growth rate and matched their developing rate with the same as an average human. the chipmunks don't remember much of their early childhood and nothing can really be disputed so davids word of what happened is gospel. And yeah thats their backstory basically. if you want more on dave's view point on the chipmunks and their fucked up growth process, you can read this post here :)

[5] - he overcame this, of course. he did not want the boys to think that he was ashamed of them. public school was a different story, however, and the boys were more-or-less in a state of homeschooling before the release of "the chipmunk song." knowing that most of their peers would actually look up to them rather than down upon them extremely reassured him.

[gaiyofanfiction]

Save me (8)

Chapter 1: Second Time? - Chapter 2: Awake - Chapter 3: First Love - Chapter 4: Mama - Chapter 5: Reflection - Chapter 6: Lie - Chapter 7: Stigma - Chapter 8: Begin - Chapter 9: taken - Chapter 10: Torture - Chapter 11: The Plan

Reader X Jungkook

Mental Hospital AU

Angst/Thriller/Romance

A/N: Hey all! We’re really hoping you guys are liking the story. Sorry it’s been so long since we updated. It’s been pretty crazy. thank you for sticking with us. ALSO, we’re doing a thing. The first person to guess and comment on this post the correlation with the Doctor, the name of the facility and the fact that he’s a villain in our BTS story, one of us will write that person a personalized one shot of their choice! Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction. We did take their personalities and match as best we can with illnesses, however we do not claim that the boys from BTS have these mental illnesses! Also, we did as much research as we can on each disorder. We are not meaning to offend anyone who has these illnesses at all. ALSO, WE DO KNOW BTS CHANGED THEIR ENGLISH NAME TO BEYOND THE SCENE BUT WE’RE USING BULLETPROOF BOYSCOUTS CAUSE IT FITS THE STORY BETTER. Trigger warning: Mentions of mental illness, hospitals, self harm, suicide attempt and abuse. Both Gaisho and I recommend, if you feel like you need to go to the hospital for ANY reason, please don’t be afraid to do so. It can help. If you EVER feel like you need to talk to anyone, vent, or need advice on anything, please do not hesitate to msg us! We’ve been through it all. Character Descriptions so far: Reader- Chronic Depression, Derealization Disorder and Dissociative Amnesia Jin - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (With homicidal tendencies) Suga-Â Narcolepsy and Chronic Depression J-Hope- Bipolar II Disorder Rap Monster- OCD and Paranoia Jimin- Explosive Anger Disorder V-  Schitzoaffective Disorder

Chapter 8: Begin:

        As soon as you make it through the doors of the cafeteria, you notice Jimin sitting in a wheelchair at the table. You, Jungkook and Suga approach the table carefully, as to not startle him. The three of you take the empty seats.

        You turn to Jimin and scan his face. All the passion and love he normally had was gone. He reminded you of what Jin looked like the first time you witnessed the results of an EST treatment.

        “Jimin, how are you?” You hesitantly ask.

        Jimin looks at you, his eyes showing no sign of emotion. “Y/N, there you are. I was worried.” He speaks low, ignoring your question.

        Your eyes widen at his statement. “W-Why were you worried?”

        Jimin struggles to lean forward in his chair. “I heard them. Talking about you.”

        “Jimin, why were they talking about Y/N?” Rap Monster asks, worry laced his voice.

        Jimin’s breathing becomes heavy. “T-They mentioned. Your dreams. And then. EST.” He whispers quietly so only the table can hear.

        The boys look from Jimin to you, confusion passing through their faces. You freeze, eyes open in shock.

        “Y/N, what does he mean about your dreams?” Suga asks curiously.

        You shake your head, feeling an anxiety attack coming on.Pretending not to have a clue what they’re talking about, you say, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

        Jungkook’s features turn hard and dark. “No, they'll never take Y/N. Not while I'm around.” He growls.

        The boys look at him in shock, never hearing him speak like this. Rap Monster was the first one to recover and smiles at Jungkook, saying, “well will all make sure that no one harms Y/N.”

        You look around at the table of boys, all nodding in agreement. Your eyes start to tear up. “Why would you do something like that for me? You just met me a few days ago?”

        “Why wouldn't we? You're a very attractive girl and a guy like me needs to be surrounded by attractive people.” Jin sends you a flying kiss.

        The rest of the boys rolls their eyes and groan. “What he means is, you're one of us now. You've done so much for us, now we want to help you. You're our family and we always have our families backs.” V sends you a smile.

        'It seems like V is doing okay now. That's good.’ you smile at the boys and bow your head. “Thank you. That means so much.”

        Suddenly Jungkook grabs your arm and stands up. You look at him confused until you see him nod his head towards the other side of the room. You see Dr. Seung Ho Choi talking with three of his nurses. Your eyes widen as fear shoots straight through you.

        Jungkook talks to the boys in a low voice, “I'm taking Y/N back to my room. Please try to keep them occupied til individual therapy, at least then they'll be too busy to do anything.”

        The boys nod in understanding. With that, Jungkook drags you quickly out the door and down the hall to his room. Once you're inside, he closes the door quietly. It's quiet for a few more minutes as he tries to stop his trembling body and heavy breathing.

        You look at him with concern. “Kookie? Are you okay?”

        The boy focuses his attention on you, sending a small smile. “I'm okay. Just trying to calm my anxiety.”

        You nod your head in understanding. “I know how that feeling is. I have anxiety attacks too.”

        Peering over his shoulder to look at you, he is now just realizing he has you in his room and he starts to freak out even more. You walk up to him and have him face you. The both of you blush, but you pull his sleeve to have him sit next to you on the bed. 

        You both sit there awkwardly, but he finally talks, “so I now know at least a little more about you. You get anxiety attacks. Care to elaborate why you're in here?”

        You shake your head and fiddle with your fingers. “I-Im still not ready yet, I'm sorry. I'm worried once I tell you, you'll end up disappearing like the rest.” You mumble that last part under your breathe.

        Jungkook opens his mouth to make a comment but decided against it. “That's okay. I can tell you why I'm here, if you like. Since everyone else has told their stories and I’m the last one.”

        You nod your head motioning for him to continue.

        “Well, the doctors tell me I have something called Agoraphobia.”

        “Agoraphobia? What is that? I've heard of it.”

        Jungkook scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “The best way I can describe it is the fear of everything. At least that's how it feels. Well to be exact, it's the fear of being in a situation with nowhere to escape. It's a severe anxiety disorder.”

        “Oh I see.” You tilt your head in curiosity. “How would that end you up in here though?”

        Jungkook sighs and fiddle with his bed sheets. “Well, it's kind of an embarrassing story, really.”

        You scoff, making him raise an eyebrow. “I bet you it's not as embarrassing as mine.” You mumble.

        He looks at you with amusement, but continues. “All throughout my childhood, I was a pretty sheltered child. And when I say sheltered, I mean I literally never went anywhere. I was home schooled up until high school, so I didn't have any friends and I didn't do any school clubs. My parents wanted me to focus on my studies, so when I got into highschool, I would be top of my class. The fifteen year old me who didn’t have anything. The world was so big, I was so small.”

        Jungkook’s face twists in pain at the memories. “They didn't expect their plan to backfire. The first day of highschool was the first time I was social in any form of the word. I didn't expect there to be so many people, so much noise, so close in contact to me. I freaked out. I ended up running into the forest preserve next to the school to hide until my parents came to pick me up.”

        His body starts to shake. You can tell he was struggling to tell you his past. Empathetic as you were, you intertwine your hand with his and with the other hand you lightly cup his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m right here… Keep going.” 

        “My parents found out I skipped my first day and they told me if it happened again, I'd be grounded. Well, they didn't really need to worry about that. I wouldn't leave my room after that day. Every time I would try, I started hyperventilating and my body would shake. I'd end up right back in my room with the door locked. They would ask what's wrong and I told them I wasn't feeling good.They would get my school work and bring it home so I would do it in my room. But that excuse didn't last.”

        Jungkook was choking on his words. He took your hand and pressed the back of it against his cheek. Your heart breaks for him. “Listen, Kookie, you don’t have to tell me, you can -”

        “One day my father dragged me out from my room and took me to school. He said that if I run again, then I could never come back home. I tried my best, I swear I did. But, I just couldn’t take it. I fell into a squat and covered my head yelling for my ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’. It was so embarrassing and traumatizing. I became a laughing stalk and my parents shunned me… So, they brought me here. Never seen them since. Not one visit.”

        You tilt your head. “How long have you been here exactly?”

        Jungkook lightly rubs his thumb along the back of your hand. “I was the last one to arrive out of the bangtan boys. I’ve been here for about a year.”

        You look at him in shock. “A year?! Oh my god, that means they’ve been here for more than a year!”

        Jungkook nods. “I was so nervous to be in here, I didn’t know if I would make it. But meeting the Hyungs really helped me. They’ve done so much for me that I feel like I could never fully repay them. I would do anything for them. When I found out about them going in for EST, it broke my heart. I feel like I’m going to die when hyung is sad. When hyung is in pain, it hurts more than when I’m in pain.“

        You look at him with a thoughtful look. “Kookie, have you ever had to go for EST?”

        He swallows the lump in his throat and nods. “We all have. Some more than others. Usually Jin, Jimin and V go the most because of their conditions. But we’ve all been at least twice.”

        You look down at your hand intertwined with his. ‘The fact that they have to go at all is sick. This place is terrible. The faster we can get out, the better.’

        The two of you were quiet for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company. Suddenly you have a thought. Before you can really think it through, you blurt it out quickly.

        “Kookiepleasegooutwithme!”

        Jungkook looks at you wide eyed. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

        You swallow the lump in your throat and speak a little slower, “w-will you go out with me? I know we’re stuck in here but i mean after. Please, go out with me after.”

        Jungkook just stares at you for a moment before a wide bunny-like smile appears on his face. “Y-yes! Of course I would love to go out with you!”

        You smile back at him and squeeze his hand. “You know, you look like a cute little bunny when you smile like that.”

        He chuckles. “So I’ve been told.” He wiggles his nose, making you giggle.

        Suddenly he takes your hand and places it on his chest. “You feel that? You make me feel alive! I don’t ever want you to leave.” 

        Your heart soars at the thought of making him feel that way. “Jungkook, c-can I-”

        Before you can finish your sentence, the door to his room flies open to reveal three nurses, one female, two male. Jungkook and you quickly stand up, taking a step back away from them. Jungkook puts an arm in front of you instinctively.

        The female nurse takes a step towards you with a cold look on her face, grabbing your arm. “Y/N, if you’ll please come with us.”

        You try to pull away, absolutely terrified. “W-Why? What’s going on?”

        One of the male nurses comes and grabs your other arm, roughly pulling you to him, making sure you can’t get away.

        “W-Wait, where are you going? Why are you taking Y/N?” Jungkook reaches out for your hand but the other male nurse grabs him, pulling him away from you.

        The female nurse sends Jungkook a strained smile. “It’ll be okay. Y/N is just going in for a short treatment because of an incident that happened this morning.”

        Fear flashes through Jungkook’s face as he realizes what’s going on. “W-Wait! No, you can’t take her!” He struggles more, reaching out for your hand. You try to grab it but you’re being pulled back. 

        “Now, Jungkook, dear. You know what happens when you start to act out.” The nurse warns. He ignores her entirely.

        “No! Please don’t take her! She’s the only one that doesn’t trigger my phobia! PLEASE! NO, DON’T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!” Jungkook starts yelling and putting up more of a struggle to get to you.

        The nurse raises an eyebrow and mumbles something to the nurse that’s holding you. Your eyes widen as you hear what he whispers. Suddenly you stop struggling and smile at Jungkook.

        “Kookie, stop.”

         He pauses his struggling to look at you, wide eyed. “Y-Y/N…”

        “Please, I don’t want them to take you too. I’ll be okay, I promise.” You turn to the nurses, who look at you in surprise. “I’ll go quietly, as long as you leave Jungkook here.”

        The female nurse thinks this over before nodding and guiding you out the door. You take one last look at Jungkook, who looks like he’s just had his heart ripped out. You send him a small nervous smile before disappearing around the corner.

        The male nurse lets go of Jungkook after he decides he won’t run after you and leaves him in his room. Jungkook stands there as tears run down his cheeks. ‘No! They took her! W-Where’s everyone?’ Jungkook stumbles out of his room after a few minutes to search for his Hyungs. He finds them all in the game room, just sitting around.

       Rap Monster looks up. “Oh, hey, Jung-” His sentence and smile fades as he sees the state that Jungkook is in. “Jungkook, what’s wrong?”

        The rest of the boys turn their attention on Jungkook, waiting for an answer. Jungkook tries to calm his breathing but failed to do so.

        “T-They took her from me. They took Y/N for EST!” His body movements become random and breathing becomes heavy as his panic attack increases.

        J-hope stands up and tries to get Jungkook to sit down. “Kookie, please try to relax.”

        Jungkook shakes his head, his whole body trembling. “I-I c-can’t. They took her. Right in front of me. They took the one person who didn’t trigger my phobia. The one person who didn’t deserve it.”

        V and Jimin look at each other, tears welling up in their eyes. Suga, Rap Monster and Jin all glance at each other in worry.

        “Kookie, she’s strong. She’ll get through this and she’ll be out soon.” J-hope tries to sooth Jungkook by rubbing his back.

        Time passed. It was time for individual therapy and you still weren’t back yet. One by one the patients go in to have their sessions, but the boys’ minds were elsewhere. After the sessions, they all sit at their usual table in the game room. Suddenly, the door opened. They all glance at the door to see the female nurse roll you to the table in a wheelchair and disappear.

        All the boys look up at you to make sure you’re okay. All they saw was a dead look on your face.

        Jungkook slowly walks up to you, as to not startle you. “Y/N? A-Are you okay?"

        Your eyes start to focus more at hearing a male voice. You look up at the boy in front of you. “W-Who are you?”

[Masterlist]

[i-am-adlocked]

Got tagged by two people and since the questions are custom-made (lol) I guess, I’ll answer twenty-two instead of eleven LMAO. Love you both guys!

The rules are:

• Post the rules

• Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

• Write eleven questions of your own

• Tag eleven people

QUESTIONS FROM @equusgirl​

1. If you could have lunch with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?

This is a tough one. I have many different aspects of myself—several masks. My joker-self would want to be with my friends because I never fail to make them laugh their pants off. My lonely-self would want my future spouse, whoever that person is, right now. My artist-self would want Vincent Van Gogh so I could do the Doctor Who thing where I would reassure him that he is amazing. 

My desperate-self would want Bob Ross because I bet he’d inspire me the hell out. My sad-self would want to have lunch with my dead happy-self because I bet I’d slap the hell out of my face. My family-oriented-self would want my maternal grandfather I never got to meet because he doesn’t know me and it’s nice to have a family who would probably say that they’re proud of me. Estranged relatives are like that, I think lmao

OH and I would also want any psychologist, so I’d have free sessions to deal with my ADHD because I can never afford to have more sessions, and I’d finally get a prescription cos I need dem meds.

2. You’re stuck on an elevator with whoever is on your lock/home screen. Who is it?

If we’re talking about my phone, I guess I’m stuck on an elevator with the Eiffel Tower (lock screen) and Mona Lisa (home screen). If we’re talking about my computer, I guess I’m stuck on an elevator with Sherlock (lock screen) and Leo Valdez (home screen). Ho-ho-ho I will be in an elevator with self-loathing mask-wearing joking-but-dead-inside heroes. That will be fun.

3. Last TV show/movie you watched?

I rewatched the last episode of The Crown again after I binged-watched Riverdale and re-re-re-binged-watched The Good Place. Movie-wise, it was the Filipino film called “Ang Larawan”. It’s actually hard for me to watch films because it takes a lot of time for me to stay focused in one episode.

4. A cottage on the beach or a cabin in the mountains?

Cabin in the mountains. I hiss angrily at beaches because I tan so easily and I kid you not, I haven’t swum in a beach since 2009. In a country where lighter paler skin was more cherished, and being an insecure bullied 10-year-old. You’ll understand why. Nowadays, I guess the habit just stuck. ALSO CABIN IN THE MOUNTAINS HOW FREAKING COOL WOULD THAT BE... I’d be surrounded by trees, it would be cold there, I can sit by the fireplace, look out my window to view the beautiful forest and night sky, and just drink whiskey, read a book, and quietly whisper, “Bless.”

5. Last song you listened to?

If we’re not including Brooke Simpson’s performances (specifically, “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”) in The Voice which I legit just binge-watched before opening Tumblr, it would be the Riverdale Cast’s cover of “Mad World.” I was shookt that I liked it.

6. Most recent obsession?

Video-editing. More-so than usual. I legit have anxieties when I’m not making a video. I should probably stop after finishing these videos I’m doing because I know it will hinder my studies (which I’m already failing at because of my worsening ADHD), and it’s already ruining my sleeping patterns and eating habits. It’s a toxic kind of obsession.

7. Last thing you googled?

“people find out harry potter is abused fic rec” shut up (if interested, click here)

8. Which city would you most like to visit?

(for the first time?) Athens. (again?) either Assisi or Rome or Paris. You can’t make me choose.

9. If you could bring one (1) fictional character to life, who would it be?

I’m having a hard time between Mary Watson (Sherlock) and River Song (Doctor Who) *sobs*

10. Favorite thing about yourself?

My... God, I don’t know, really. I don’t really like myself so how can I find a favorite thing about myself? My ability to brag for things I’m not even good at, I guess? False advertising of myself, I guess? HAHAHAHHA WAIT NO! My ability to make anything sad or depressing. Yes, I’m good at that. It’s not my favourite thing about me but out of all, that’s the only thing I think I’m really good at.

11. Ideal career?

Becoming a wife and mother. Some people give me odd looks for this but I really want to take care of people in ways I never experienced. I want to be there for some people—to feel needed and depended on—to be trusted, long-term.

Younger-me would be furious. She was aro-ace. As a person who grew up only relying on books as company, I thought I would grow up as the typical strong independent woman who is a CEO or is an actress, or a musical theatre performer... I used to want to be that... 

But those dreams were based on what my family wanted. CEO because I grew up poor and being a CEO would make me financially stable which my parents wanted. Actress/Theatre Performer because my sister and I bonded through musical theatre, TV shows, and films, and we both love the arts (but I have to admit that she’s better than me with everything srsly im not kidding)...

But as just for myself? I really don’t see myself working for money, or working for the arts. I mean, obviously I want to work for money and for the arts, but... I want to work for people I care about—for a family I will finally not be scared enough to say “I love you” without fearing they would laugh in my face.

—oOo—

OKAY, NOW QUESTIONS FROM @musical-chick-13​

1. If you could wake up and be magically good at something you’ve never done before (or have little experience doing), what would you want it to be?

The ability to quickly understand things I’m not interested in and explain them to people easily with how I understood them. I think that would help me a lot in my Law class now at uni. Seriously, I’m having troubles reading, and I always stutter in class because I’m not good at formal English. 

My stupid brain needs time to process what I learned (which was written in English), explain it to myself (in Filipino), translate my explanation from Filipino to English, and focus enough to say those things out loud.

2. What is/are your favorite genre(s) of music?

I have an odd range: musical theatre, rock, indie, classical music, PIANO IS LIFE, ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT IS GOOD PIANO AT THE BEGINNING (usually starts with an A, idk why). Also, Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Hands down.

3. What was your first fandom?

Avatar: The Last Airbender. THE SERIES OKAY. A year after that was Harry Potter and Sherlock AT THE SAME TIME 2010 was a crazy year. Just like that, since I was eleven years old, I went down the road to fandom hell.

4. What is a play/musical/opera/etc. (basically any fictional work that’s not a book, movie, comic, or TV show) you like?

BOY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN UGHGHGH ILL JUST PUT MY TOP SIX

Spring Awakening, Next to Normal, In the Heights. (I listen to the full album completely. The music is divine and the stories are beautiful. You got a story about sex, a story about mental illness, and a story about Hispanics). Spring Awakening’s and Next to Normal’s rock + violin music in a setting of 1800′s Germany and a typical family house, gets me on, ya know?

Sweeney Todd, Wicked, and Rent. (The typical classics I love, note that whenever Sweeney Todd’s Prologue and Wicked’s As Long as You’re Mine starts, I get orgasms just as much when the peak of Rent’s Goodbye Love goes). Great songs, seriously.

5. If you could get paid for doing a mundane task, what would you choose to get paid for?

Organising files.

6. What is a joke you really like?

My death.

7. If you had to have a job working under a fictional character, which character would you choose to be your boss and why?

Sherlock. He would know how to take care of me. He would know how to make me feel better. He has great work ethics, and he knows when to be harsh with his words and gentle, because he knows which people are deserving to be called idiots and those who are just insecure. Though I’ll probably annoy him because of how nervous I’d be but since “Faith Smith” I’d think he’d know how to deal with me, I guess.

8. What article of clothing is your favorite to wear (i.e., dresses, skirts, pants, suits, hats, jewelry, etc.)?

A gold necklace my grandmother gave to me because out of all my cousins (or our generation in our lineage), I’m the first one she gave an “inheritance” to because I happen to be her roommate. Considering that I am the dumbest in the family as well as the family freak, I consider this as my sole victory.

9. Do you consider yourself to be an optimist, a pessimist, or something else entirely?

A total pessimist. An optimist to those who are feeling pessimistic.  In my head, there is nothing but hopelessness, despair, and utter misery and pain. But homie, you say shit like that to me? You tell me you are feeling those? Yo, imma throw my rainbows and sunshine up your ass, you are gonna vomit glitter and light, I swear to all deities out there.

I may claim to say that I’m like this because I’m the only one who should be pessimistic, like I’m some narcissistic the-world-revolves-around-me idiot because I don’t like being depicted as anything else but manipulative, cruel, and an arsehole. So please stop telling me I’m nice or that I’m a good person. It makes me feel weird. They’re like unnatural things to say to me.

10. Feelings on cats?

Tolerable. My sister loves them. My school has cats just chilling around. They love me idk why. I love dogs more so I’m surprised they let me in their pack.

11. Favorite soda (or beverage in general if you don’t like soda)?

ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW OF MY WILD ADDICTION TO COCA-COLA.

—oOo—

MY QUESTIONS:

1. Are you feeling okay right now?

2. What is the funniest thing you have ever first-hand witnessed/experienced in real life?

3. Who is/are the most important person/people in your life and why?

4. What is a memory that wouldn’t fail to make you smile like an idiot while you’re in public?

5. How did you come to your current obsession?

6. Why do you ship your OTP (either real-life or fiction)?

7. Let’s pretend speed and distance (lol basically velocity), and quality are the same, would you rather be in a plane or a ship in a storm where there are many lightnings and thunder involved in December?

8. What is the object that is most sentimental to you?

9. If you could be in any fictional world, which one would you explore, and will you or will you not interact with your favourite character? Why or why not?

10. What animal do you most relate to or you consider to be your spirit animal? Why or why not?

11. How do you define the word, “Happiness”?

Tags: @thank-you-for-being-with-me​ @sentimentalgenius​ @addignisherlock​ @randombiochemist​ @simpleanddestructivechemistry​ @its-sentimental-adlock​ @themissadventurer​ @sorrowsflower​ @throughtheparadox​ @theleftpill​ No pressure, guys! Also to anyone who wants to answer, too! I even tag those who tagged me.

[weallneedsomethingtobelievein]

1-98 :)

how tall are you? i’m 5′3

what is your body type? my body type? um I guess you’d say i’m overweight. but working on it :)

what is your favorite part about your body? I’d probably go with my hair and my lips. but I can honestly say I love my whole body.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? I think it is mostly. I have some blonde in it that hasn't grown out yet though.

are you more outgoing or more shy? more shy 100%

are you more femme or butch? im somewhere in the middle, but id say I lean towards the more femme side.

are you tol or smol? smol, as @cunnningstunt likes to point out all the time.

wine mom or vodka aunt? prob the wine mom.

weird habit? 

favorite meme?

do you sing in the shower? from time to time.

ever used a bow and arrow? I haven’t.

are/were you a theatre kid? nope.

have you ever seen a broadway musical? once. I saw the beauty and the beast when I was a kid.

do you think musicals are cheesy? nope. Courtney would kill me if I said yes anyways.

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? nope.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? the first one that comes to mind is “Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole.”

last movie you watched? Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

behind the camera or in front of it? im always behind the camera. and awkward in front of it. but I want pictures taken of me so I don't know where that leaves me lol.

favorite tv show? this is a hard one. Im gonna go with Atypical for right now.

meaning behind your url? I made this my URL over 8 years ago and I think I googles quotes or something, found one I liked and called it a day.

reason you joined tumblr? all my friends had one so I wanted one too. fast forward 8 years and im like the only one still here lmao. well, me and maybe 2 others.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? @cunnningstunt surprise! its you.

what’s something most people love that you hate? 

have you ever taken narcotics? never.

have you had sex? yes.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? im pretty sure my mom walked in on me masturbating once lmao but its a vague memory.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? im straight.

describe your passion without mentioning it. 

describe your best friend.

give us one thing about you that no one knows.

how do you feel right now? I feel content. a lil lonely but content. I actually got to do my hair and get dressed in normal clothes so I feel human.

what is your biggest fear? abandonment.

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? soulmate by lizzo.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?  to stop caring about what others think and doing what makes me happy.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? FUCKING YES.

something you fantasize about. living in my own apartment, driving, and being a functioning adult with healthy relationships.

last time you cried and why? I think it was when I teared up watching This Is Us the other day. But really cried? I can’t remember.

what was the last thing that made you laugh? 

do you really, truly miss someone right now? yessss I do.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Courtney and Adam are two that come to mind.

the last time you felt broken? recently, lamenting about how I feel stuck in my job and my life.

are you starting to realize anything? that im a bad bitch and always have been even if I don't feel like it all the time.

are you more dominant or more submissive? ive been submissive in the past but haven't played around with being dominant so who knows.

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) this is a long list sooooooo.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I tend to go for younger.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

do you have any kinks? I might.

first thing you notice in a person? eyes.

how can someone win your heart? make me laugh and feel important. I also have a tag #waystomyheart on my blog of things Id love.

been rejected by a crush? oh yeah.

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? ^^

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I mean, why not.

is trust a big issue for you? sometimes yeah.

did you hang out with the person you like recently?

is confidence cute? very.

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? not at all.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? yes lmao.

do you want to get married? I don't know if I would again. but I think I would.

worst thing you’ve ever done? slept with a friends ex after they broke up and hung out with her the next day. obviously we’re not friends anymore.

three things that turn you on. (prolonged) eye contact, neck kisses and a pretty smile.

who do you hate? 45.

favorite term of endearment? babe.

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? I didn’t have one.

intimidating girls or kind girls? por que no los dos?

what do you look for in a possible partner? 

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I like more feminine and androgynous girls/nb people.

are you good at flirting? NO LMFAO.

who was the first person you came out to? weirdly enough, my ex husband (then boyfriend). he was really cool about it.

do you have any friends who are wlw? yes.

is your crush wlw?

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

write a short love poem to your crush/self? bitch, you’re worth it.

do you fall in love easily? somewhat.

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? absolutely.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I mean, no.

are you a forgiving person? I try to be.

what is your “type?” man, hell if I know.

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? both.

tall girls or short girls? both.

hugs or kisses? bothhhh.

twirl her around or get twirled? I don't care lol.

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? both are nice for different reasons. but tummy kisses are especially nice because that's something ive always been self conscious about.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? neck.

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? playing with her hair.

making out or soft kisses? how many times do I have to say both.

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? I guess once more cant hurt ^

how confident are you in your sexuality? confident that it wont change? pretty sure, but I’ll never say never. but as far as approaching and flirting with women? absolutely not.

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? yeah both.

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? I did. and I didn’t necessarily tell them but they knew because it was obvious.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I think I was 17 or 18.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? CAZZIE AND FUCK YES.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? “that's hot” fuck you my sexuality isn't for your consumption. I’ve also had “homosexuality is a mental illness” directed at me.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? recently.

what is love to you? 

[loveruns]

50 Questions Game

I was tagged by @rectusdominus thanks m8!! <3

1. what takes up too much of your time? vidya games

2. what makes your day better? good music, nice weather, im v easily pleased

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? I ate rly well today, which is good because im usually a p unhealthy person

4. what fictional place would you like to go? hmm first place that comes to mind is the Emerald Graves from DA, but there are so many... Camp Half-Blood and the shire would also be amazing.  

5. are you good at giving advice? uuuuuuuhhhhhh i think so? im v good at listening at least.

6. do you have any mental illness? unfortunately

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? NOPE, thats a big fear of mine actually.

8. what musician inspired you the most? hmm idk about inspired but bands like all time low and the front bottoms have gotten me through some tough times. carly rae jepsen make me happy.

9. have you ever fallen in love? i thought so but idk

10. what’s your dream date? hmm i do love a museum date. or some kind of botanical gardens/nature walk?? banging n watching movies is fun also. idk im not rly a romance person.

11. what do others notice about you? how short i am mostly, i think. or my weird sense of humor i think.

12. what is the annoying habit you have? i fidget a lot, like almost constantly

13. do you still talk to your first love? nope

14. how many ex’s do you have? mm depends on ur definition but i’d say 2

15. how many songs are on your playlist? which playlist? theres about 40 in my #me playlist

16. what instruments can you play? the triangle

17. who do you have the most pictures of? vanity thine name is @gayperry (me)

18. where would you like to go before you die? most places. europe, japan, in particular i suppose.

19. what is your zodiac? gemini babey

20. do you relate to it? i used to when i was a little shit, like the mischievous, two-faced stereotype. But I guess i do relate to how gemini’s are supposed to be rly inquisitive.

21. what is happiness to you? i don’t know honestly

22. are you going through anything right now? i’m always going through something

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? hard to tell, maybe i haven’t made it yet?

24. what’s your favourite store? not that i can afford anything but i do love dollskill and currentmood 

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? i think everyone should have complete control over their own bodies, if someone needs an abortion they should be able to get one.

26. do you keep a bucket list? not rly, sure there are tons of things i want to do but i cant afford any so making a actual list would just make me sad

27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? hmmmmm probably the Into The Spider-verse sountrack!

28. what do you want for your birthday? money..... wanna buy me a suit

29. what are most peoples first impression of you? short

30. what age do you seem according to most people? uhh i think probably 14 or so physically?

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? next to the pillow

32. what word or phrase do you say the most? lmao probably “dude” or “dang” stuff like that. i have a rich vocabulary.

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? 23ish

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? 18

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? people seem to think i’d be good in careers that involve writing

36. what’s your favourite music genre? toss up between rock and pop i think

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? lately i’ve been fantasising about living in new zealand a lot

38. what is your current favourite song? “will do” - TV on the radio

39. how long have you had this blog for? almost 7 years oH MY GOD 

40. what are you excited for? the new year! new opportunities and experiences!

41. are you a better talker or listener?  listener

42. what is the last productive thing you did? submitted an application for a student loan

43. what do you want for Christmas? honestly like,, gift cards/money. or any merch for my special interests- OR A BLENDER, i wanna live that smoothie lifestyle.

44. what class do you get the best grades in? i start uni next year so not rly applicable, but in HS i was the top drama student

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? solid 6, p good

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? i hope im doing something in the film industry, or running my own business and i have enough money to be happy and travel

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? thats hard to pin down

48. at what age do you want to get married? none years old

49. what career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a paleontologist! high-key still do

50. what do you crave right now? adventure!

[transssexualheart]

Bitch do this MOTHERFUCKN ask

oh SHITu didn’t specify for what character so im gonna choose one i dont get to talk about much but i love him it’s maxwell

1- what is your character’s biggest fear?that he’s disgusting and a monster

2- what is your character’s favorite memory?oh idk,, a lot of his good memories are from his childhood with his best friend leo but all those memories are really upsetting for him bc of what happened to leo

3- what is your character’s least favorite memory?it’s what happened to leo, maxwell is a Magic Man and one day he and leo got in a fight and maxwell was pissed and he didn’t mean to because he didn’t really know how to work with his powers and things used to just Happen when he was angry he didn’t have control of it and he ended up accidentally killing leo, he then spent three nights without sleeping trying to use magic to bring him back to life to no avail, and he then faked his death and ran away

4- does anyone have a crush on your character? is your character aware of this?someone does, and they end up getting married so he knows eventually but not at first, it’s glitter cat whomst is another character in that universe

5-describe your character’s dream date.he’s not too much of a romantic date type of guy, but he’s very genuine and loving. he would really just want to go out and have a nice time with his partner

6- what is your character’s sexual orientation?gayyyy

7- how does your character feel about their name?he likes it

8- does your character hate anyone? why?not really, he’s very full of love

9- how does your character feel about religion?well he’s not too religious but he did celebrate both christmas and hanukkah when he was a kid because his father was christian but his mother was jewish, he continued celebrating both when he got back into Not Living In A Hut In The Woods, and he has a traditional jewish wedding when he gets married

10- would your character ever kill someone?lol he has, and he does later on because he’s fighting for his life but he would never kill someone when he or his friends were not being threatened on purpose

11- how did your character meet their best friend?leo he met in third grade, glitter cat he met like three million years later because gc was lost in the woods maxwell lived in and he took him in so he had a place to stay. later, maxwell’s house caught fire bc he’s shitty at magic and gc decided he had to find home to bring maxwell there so he could have a place to live

12- how would/does your character feel about roller coasters?LOVEs them

13- what would your character die for?his friends

14- what is the cutest thing your character has ever done?he’s just really cute in general tbh

15- what music genre would your character listen to?indie stuff and 80s pop

16- what other fictional characters remind you of your character?idk man

17- does your character have any irrational fears?oh idk

18- how would your character feel about having their life recorded?it already is, by me

19- what is your character’s deepest, darkest secret?the eye on the back of his head that all witches have (which he is) and also the fact that he killed his best friend lmao

20- what is the most surprising thing about your character?probably that he killed leo OR that he’s very mentally ill he has PTSD and depression but he always seems so happy to others

21- is your character flexible?ya

22- what is the worst thing your character has ever done?kill leo accidentally 

23- is your character morally grey or black and white?idk

24- what prejudices does your character have?also idk

25- would you want to hang out with your character?ya man

26- what is your favorite headcanon for your character?they aren’t headcanons if i make them it’s just canon

27- what would be the worst way for your character to die?suicide, which he’s considered

28- what pet would your character have?he’s terrible at taking care of things tbh probably a goldfish

29- what would be your character’s favorite food?any fruit ever

30- would your character have any hobbies?he loves to sing and work on magic stuff

31- what social media would your character use?snapchat probably

32- what does your character look like?poofy curly long brown hair, pale skin, freckles, he has heterochromia so one of his eyes are blue and the other is green, he’s skinny and he has bigass horns on each side of his head

33- in what ways is your character like you?PTSD and depression lmao

34- what is cliche about your character?idk

35- what is unique about your character?a lot probably

36- does anyone want to harm your character?uh ya the asshole who mauled out his stomach and turned him into a witch

37- do people have justified grudges against your character?i don’t think so, no one really knows he was the reason leo died which is the worst thing he’s done so

38- what role does your character play in their story?he’s technically the oldest character in the story, about 3 million years old or so, so he can provide a lot of background to the other characters on what the world used to be. he’s also magical and a good fighter so he helps characters when they have to fight, which happens often, and he helps gc become a better person bc tbh gc was an asshole when they first met

39- what would be your character’s niche on tumblr?gay and dumb but really nice

40- what would be your character’s favorite school subject?history

41- would your character want to have any children?i dont think so

42- what would be your character’s dream career?i guess a history teacher since he was alive for so much that no one else was

43- what is your character insecure about?his third eye and the fact that he is a witch

44- what is your character proud of?when he learns better how to use magic, and his knowledge of the past

45- what would your character change about themselves?the fact that he’s a witch, but eventually he learns how to accept that part of himself and that he’s not a monster

46- would you want to trade places with your character?god no

47- what fandoms would your character be in?idk really

48- how would your character type?with one finger lmao

49- how does your character stand politically?hates trump, cried when he was elected, supported bernie but would have voted for hillary over trump

50- what is your favorite thing about your character?how bouncy and joyous he is all the time, he’s very goofy and smiley and lil dumb but it’s cute

51- what is your character’s favorite animal?cats

52- how would your character act in gym class?stay out of things bc other kids bullied him

53- what clubs would your character join?drama club for sure lmao

54- what is the saddest thing about your character’s life?just one thing? his dad died when he was five, he got attacked at sixteen and has scars from it and it turned him into something that he viewed as a monster, he accidentally murdered the person that he loved most, and lived in the woods for millions of years trying to cope with his PTSD and depression

56- what’s one of your character’s quirks?idk

57- how would your character feel about feminism?he’s a feminist 

58- is your character dorky or more athletic?dorky

59- what is your least favorite thing about your character?oh i don’t know? there’s something but i can’t think of it rn

60- if you could title your character’s life, what would you title it?“coping with all the many misfortunes in your life 3million years after they happened”

thank u bless,,,,