#im local trans girl
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Devastating news: local trans girl realized she forgot to change her estrogen patches today and has to get out of bed to do so.
#its me#im local trans girl#i was so comfy#its impressive how often i forget to do my hrt#its like almost midnight#i was so close to falling asleep#trans girl#transgender#transfem
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Sittin' pretty~
#bones rattle#trans#selfie#trans woman#trans girl#my skull#hi hi pregamed to go to the ''local“ barcade n save on a bit of dough lmao#yippeeeeee#hahaha#hee hee#for once i feel decently hot even w my tummy hangin out#also rip to this nyan cat shirt as a proper shirt#off to crop heaven#w that one white blouse#lmao u can tell im a touch tipsy cause im talkin so much lol
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project sekai is crazy because literally every character is queer trans neurodivergent physically disabled or some combination of the above
#and im not talking abt hcs im talking abt actual coding#minori is very explicitly in love with haruka#harukas is less obvious but she clearly returns minoris feelings as well#shizuku is so obviously nd [likely autistic but she could read as a number of other things]#airi is incredibly trans coded [that one event + her fes card]#mizuki is canonically trans#ena has ptsd in some format due to her fathers abuse and shes also got a lot of cluster b traits#kanade has ptsd from what happened with her father and wlw and physically disabled coded#mafuyu. oh gd. the cdd coding the transmasc coding the girlkisser coding.#anhane is basically canon#touya is autistic coded as is nene and ichika#shiho is nd#everybody in l/n likes girls#ichika is aro coded#and autistic like i said#saki is canonically physically disabled#akito [like ena] has some measure of ptsd from his father#akito and touya r both mlm coded#rui literally compares himself to a famously gay scientist in jp [FUCK THE EN LOCALIZATION OF THAT BTW]#emu is VERY CLEARLY AUDHD and somewhat wlw coded#nene is also wlw#tsukasa comes across as very nd#all of wondershow is aspec coded as well#and oh gd ive been talking a while i need yo shut up#but like. MAN. man. [goes crazy]#77ngiez.txt#can u guys tell ive been thinking abt pjsk lately
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yall im so fucking tired of everyone being a hater on the new vs fashion show
first off fucking immature transphobes like omg when i was 9 i was already mature and WAY more open minded than they are right now. Since i was a little KID i always accepted people and didnt fucking care about the gender someone was assigned w at birth. Is it that complicated? Just fucking educate yourself
second, fatphobic people, just get over the fact that the old vs shows ARE OVER. Plus the models are not even that big, they are healthy. You are not getting everything just like in 2016 because things change okay and you have to accept that. And why are you so pressed over a fashion show💀?? Like your life depends on it god. Finance it yourself if you dont like the models
and about the blowouts and the enermous wings, im kinda agreeing w that about the slick backs, because i hate them, but there was FUCKING HUGE wings like look at the ones on gigi hadid and they were all cute like wdym
anyway its only a show guys you will survive if its not completly like you want, youll be okay☺️
btw its my opinion, you have yours and its totally fine ! im just angry abt all the shit i have seen on tiktok
#victoria secret#vs fashion show#girl problems#girlhood#cinnamon girl#girl hysteria#just girly things#locally hated#im just a girl#girl things#lana del ray aesthetic#this is a girlblog#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lizzy grant#fashion model#fashion#kate moss#bella hadid#gigi hadid#alex consani#trans model#manic pixie dream girl#girl blog#coquette dollete#doelette#bambi doe#coquette angel#lana del rey#lana del rey aesthetic#lana is god
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there is holiness in transfiguration becoming new in the eyes of the lord is sacred ♱ o.o mim 2023
#evidence of life#typography#trans artwork#trans wrath#religious imagery#religion#trans writers#religious#trans artist#png#raw meat#christ haunted#left blood on the oil painting#local girl gets really angry so she makes art instead of bathing in the blood of transphobes more at 11:11#made this on my phone so sorry the png isn’t perfect#my ***** wrote a song about this concept which is currently unreleased and some of my wording in my words chiefly the caption is similar#and i know the concept isn’t new or necessarily theirs but im like what if im stealing lol#they already don’t like me and i don’t wanna make things worse but i’m also a religious trans artist going through similar experiences#so anyways the words are mine i know it could be just the mental illness blowing this out of proportion but#when they release their stuff please do not claim their was any copying#just see us as artistic peers with work that can be web weaved together#i know it was just my reaction but it’s still :/ like this concept deserves better#100
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ik i post about it every other morning but im so excited for saturday lol
#i get to take my...girlfriend(?) to a noise show#see harmful logic and a bunch of cool local acts together#im gonna do her make up at my place then take her out to dinner and then go to the show with her#play wallflower for a bit and watch her run around and meet a bunch of other trans women (girl who walks up to strangers)#im very excited
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genuinely though its kind of insane the transmisogyny and fear trans women just have to live with and how much of it is waved away as exaggeration or paranoia. all i can think of is that bit from infect your friends and loved ones, “THE WHOLE WORLD MONITORS AND MOCKS MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT”, literally it is the strongest part of the entire book just because of how well that describes this shit
#while i was in college on the so called lgbt floor i was basted in it#given weird looks going into the gender neutral bathroom and when wearing my fem halloween costume#told directly when they say nonbinary that they didnt intend people like me#and now that im graduated and moved its just different shit#im pressured to out myself by ‘liberal inclusive’ companies and ghosted after interviews#theres small local terf radio broadcast near me#tme nb lesbians joke in front of me about getting in fights with them while they shit-stir at pride and other events#and i have to laugh along when they 'they dont even know im trans too!' as if theyre playing duck duck goose. meanwhile im wanted dead#and its like nobody else can see the pattern. like everybody sees bits of ugly gray and blue but nobody sees the rotting mold as it is#the state of things is miserable! so we cant stop until young trans girls can experience respect before the age of like 17 or later#sasha seethes
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'do i have permission.' 58 dead thousands injured horny hours on main
#tv: king the land#king the land#lee junho#junho 2pm#im yoona#girls generation yoona#yoona snsd#kdrama#local gay watches KTL (and gets diabetes in the process).txt#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#Gu Won Austen would have f*cking loved you#i've seen some people say the actual trans is 'pls allow me' and either way it works#if i don't get a man like Lee Junho i don't f*cking want him ok
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While I do think posting about how you support transfems is good to do. You need to follow that up with real life behavior!!
One of the other transmasc people I knew irl who would repost the MOST funny little tweets and infographics on their story about how they supported transfems proceeded to treat our mutual trans girl friend like garbage. and then freaked the FUCK out on her as soon as she set a boundary. And then also threatened to break her laptop which she'd left at their house + attempted to convince everybody they knew that she was a bad person.
#and then when i continued hanging out with the trans girl (she did nothing wrong the entire time) they freaked the fuck out on ME as well.#im sooo glad this person isnt in my life anymore but theyre still out there in my local queer scene
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Tell me I'm cute or bully me either works I feel like shit
#its me!#trans#been feeling the BIG dysphoria#I love that star sweater though#I should wear it more often#when Im not wearing the black one to hide my body because I hate it lol#local ugly girl plays boomer shooters and listens to DnB more at 11
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got to hang out and chat with a cute girl so much tonight that I lost my voice, specifically because I'm chronically online and a tranny B^)
#got invited to a local art exhibit and sushi because a local friend wanted to hang out with another queer girl#the exhibit was good and i got mistaken for a local art socialite even though im a weird trans#got sushi and 10pm coffee and chatted a lot#im totally socialed out for a day or two but it felt good to not just stay inside all weekend like usual
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Me: *look at some tag in hope of finding positivity for transfem*
Also me: *only find transphobia*
#im not transfem myself but damn that hurt#trans women#trans girls#transfem#youre beautiful#from your local genderless trash goblin <3
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2015 - 2024
it has been a while since ive felt the courage or need to post something like this. i worked very hard to scrub all pre-2016 photographs of me off the internet in fact, something i realize was not in the spirit of the person who inspired me at all.
for the sake of brevity im not going to post the entirety of my transition. some two or odd years into it i was fully immersed in the feminine persona i was trying to become but still filled with a yearning that seemed to be incurable.
it was a chance encounter on this website that changed my course forever. i saw a transition timeline by a user who has since deleted their blog, detailing year by year their journey to become a kind of trans woman i didnt even know could exist at that point: a trans-feminine butch.
the clarity of their vision intrigued me. it opened a door where previously i only saw an insurmountable wall. this was something one could want to become. this was not a failure state. this was a lighthouse.
"you measure yourself by stricter standards than you do cis women", my then therapist said, "you allow yourself to play with masculinity in your art. in your art you seem to be able to separate it from male-ness. do you think you might want that in real life?"
immediately after that conversation, i looked at the timeline post again. i decided to get a haircut - a variation of the same short undercut that has become my go-to since. i slowly phased out the dresses that had carried my thru the hardest times of my budding transition. most of them i gifted to other trans women who had more of a need for them.
i set to work on my self once more with new purpose and i found first joy, then peace in the never-ending process of becoming. like every terminally online dyke in 2020 i read Stone Butch Blues, read The Locked Tomb, read Hot Allostatic Load, buzzed my hair off twice, got way too many tattoos to count, found community and friendship in my local queer scene as well as among butches online, and learned that i have the capability to love more than one person. and i love all of the people i used to be and no longer am; the problem child, the teenage romantic, the spiteful young man, the girl wrestling with herself, the baby butch still worried about keeping her tokens of femininity about her, the idiot who tought working night shifts was a good idea, and the clown who said this would be short post just some paragraphs ago.
the user who made that post was a lighthouse that went out as soon as i made it to shore, if you forgive the sentimentality. i am not half the butch they were (and maybe still are?) but maybe that's enough to be worth something to someone. it is something to me.
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i might suck off a straight boy from my class for zyns (nicotine pouches lol). i can't buy them yet but he can (i just turned 19 and hes 23). when i hit him up to buy off him, he sells for double the retail value, and triple for anything higher than 10mg. i asked if i get a classmate discount, or if i can buy one at a time. and he said no :(. i ""jokingly"" said id blow him for some, and he said the only people he'd accept that offer from are girls.
so, like a good crackwhore, I told him im actually ftm and it wouldn't be really gay. he didn't believe me until I showed him my pussy on a video call. he said he'd consider it, and responded like an hour later. lmao. he said it sounds kind of gay but if i came to his apartment looking pretty, and wearing something feminine he'd see if he felt gay about it. he went on to say he just thought i was gay since im too feminine to be a guy, but being trans makes more sense. he also asked why i transitioned when id make a really cute girl. im swooning.
the joke is that i can afford to buy the zyns at the price he listed. its inconvenient and annoying but doable. i could also keep trying my luck at local convenience stores and eventually be able to find something, probably. im not even trying to quit that hard. but likeee. not going to lie, he's hot and i was slightly horny already when i hit him up. id suck his dick for free tbh. its embarrassing that im willing to let him use my mouth for fucking nicotine pouches, and because im a perv who likes being misgendered. but ive already came twice, and post nut clarity is not kicking in, so its probably a good idea. will keep you posted.
God, this is fucking funny. You went to such lengths to sell your virginity to a straight man - and you didn't even save any money off of it! Plan B is like 50 bucks!
Let's see, the series of events here is:
Offered to suck a straight guy off for convenience-store drugs
Had to show him your cunt just to get him to consider it
Went over "looking pretty" like a good call-girl
Intended to just blow him and instead wound up getting fucked for the first time and creampied without protection
Went home with a few nicotine pouches, a pussy full of cum, and negative net savings
A savvy consumer you are not! God, FtM girls will take any excuse to slut themselves out.
but ive already came twice, and post nut clarity is not kicking in, so its probably a good idea.
That's the thing: actual men have refractory periods. You can only make sperm so fast, and there's not much biological point in putting another load in a girl when there's a few hundred million fresh sperm already on target. Girls who've pumped themselves full of testosterone don't get that! You can just keep rubbing yourself dumb, convincing yourself that being a stupid whore is a brilliant idea. Just another one of the dangers of trying on hormones that you weren't built for.
Still, this was very funny. Hope you enjoyed the walk of shame home from your extremely-lame-drug dealer's place, and congratulations on the start of a long career of taking cum.
#kink interactions#reorientation writing#reor: anon ask#ftm misgendering kink#ftm girl#reor: anon life story#reor: zyn anon
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i ran a combat this weekend that went really well and one of my npcs got beat to shit but also got to revivify a pc and it was just really chewy and cinematic and not that she isnt always on my mind but shes been on my mind a lot more this week BUT
ive been reflecting a lot on her year in the game so far, and the reasons i made her gender conforming but visibly trans when i introduced her, versus how thats evolved with her relationships to the pcs and other npcs now
and i dont know. it makes me really emotional. i think theres no right way to do trans representation but there are certainly some wrong ways. i think making her the first binary trans woman introduced and also pretty clockable would rub a lot of people the wrong way. shes tall, shes buff, she has a deeper voice, she doesnt cover her adams apple. and as a trans man who passes pretty damn easily it means so much to me that she Doesnt and shes so like ... adored? and cherished?
she was introduced as a roadblock for the party and got adopted very quickly, soon becoming a staple of the game. my players are obsessed with her and adore her and talk about her all the time. anytime she does anything theyre like okay but shes our babygirl and we love her forever and also can we marry her. shes an autistic trans lesbian wolfgirl, and her being trans is a lore point because shes the angel of the female wolf god. shes dopey, shes awkward, shes a little stupid, shes very caring, she makes the puppy eyes emoji face just at all times
and shes not visibly gay but is visibly trans. shes not punk. she doesnt have a shaved head or tattoos. overall shes pretty cottagecore and has middle school girl handwriting. she really loves baking and sewing is her most "fun" hobby. shes very gender conforming and also its pretty easy to tell shes trans and everyone just. loves her? two pcs are very parental towards her, we're leaning towards a romance with another pc. despite being a big strong knight, when shes scared, she gets comforted and consoled. she got hurt during the fight and cried about it and got hugged
i dont know. this is a very long rambly post but. living in a very conservative bible belt state, i feel a lot of acceptance as a man and i feel its very very conditional on the average person not knowing im trans. my friends are great and my cohort is largely great and my professors have been supportive. dating has been,, mixed. but then i do wonder how review bombed i would get if my students knew. i wonder how much of how well people treat me is dependent on me appearing to be something im not
and florence cant hide that shes trans!! and people love her!! they think shes wonderful and loveable and hot and adoptable and also complicated when conflict happens. theres no reveal theres no coming out its just like. yep heres florence shes trans shes dorky and sweet and cute. because of the magic of this world, some people may have Questions of how she transitioned, but its not like ... her identity ever gets questioned. you know? its not hidden and also not a problem. its just florence. and shes been such a good character for me to play because of that
okay post over go support your local trans doggirl
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About a Girl: Chapter 1
Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog
Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)
Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist
Summary: Joel is a simple man. He goes to work, he takes care of his kindergarten age daughter, he tries to make sure Tommy doesn't die and occasionally Tess comes over. He works on Frank and Bill's farm with Tommy, Tess, and another coworker, Max. For his birthday, Tommy drags Joel out to a local grunge band's show, music he knows Joel hates. Joel is surprised to find Tess's girlfriends best friend, a girl they all call Blue because of the blue in her hair, has caught his attention.
What he doesn't know is she is trans. When he finds out, he's very confused, not because he judges her, but because he's not sure what it means for him. Does it make him gay? What does trans even mean? He's very confused. Still, despite all the confusion Joel has an open mind and he just knows that he has a lot of feelings for you and he wants to try. Joel goes on a journey of learning, not only what your trans identity means but also how to take care of himself, how to set boundaries, and learning he doesn't need carry the whole world on his shoulders.
Joel loves country, is as yeehaw as they come. Blue loves grunge, and looking as edgy as she can get by as a school teacher. Can you and Joel make it all work with the one thing that bonds them both together; flannel?
Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.
Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!
A/N: I am not a trans woman, but I am trans. I am doing my best research! If I got something wrong or accidentally say something offensive, please tell me! Same with Sarah's hair. I learned a LOT about black hair care from living with my black roommate for 2 years, and watching a lot of youtube. Again, if im incorrect or offensive, let me know and ill correct! I just want Joel to care about his daughters hair <3
TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!
It all started with Tommy, as most adventures do. Joel was certain Tommy would make sure to mention that fact during his best man speech.
“You have got to get out more. You’re making me stir crazy just watching you sit at home.”
Joel rolled his eyes, packing Sarah’s lunch. He was happy to throw in some plums, Sarah’s favorite fruit, that he got from the food pantry. Since Sarah started kindergarten and he didn’t have to pay for nearly as much childcare, things had gotten less horrifically tight financially but now he was playing catch up. Catching pneumonia last winter had drained his little savings with an ER visit. Joel desperately wanted to not rely on charity, but he also didn’t want Sarah to go without.
“How would you know, you’re never even home.” Since getting out of the army, Tommy has not adjusted well. Joel was happy to let him live in the house he built for his ex-fiance on his parents land they gifted when Sarah was born. Tommy was a help with Sarah and was good company when he wasn’t out partying.
“Hey.” Tommy looked a little offended. “I’m here plenty. Just ask Sarah.” Sarah adored her uncle.
Joel sighed. “You’re right.” He wasn’t. “But I ain’t going. I can’t afford that, and I’d like to spend my days off with Sarah.”
Tommy tossed a cosmic brownie from the box he bought into Sarah’s lunchbox. “Come oooooon. Sarah loves the babysitter, and one night out won’t traumatize her forever. I’ll pay for the sitter, I already got tickets and I’ll even cover your drinks.”
Joel would rather the money go towards Sarah’s next dental appointment, but he couldn’t tell Tommy where to spend his money, and he knew there was no saying no to his brother when he gets like this. “How many bands are playing? I ain’t sitting through three openers, Tom.”
“Just one! You’re coming!” Tommy ran out of the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time before Joel could protest. “Sarah! Guess who gets to hang out with Jessica tonight!” Joel could hear the sound of springs bouncing as Sarah cheered and called out if the bed breaks, Tommy’s fixing it.
After getting Sarah dressed, he sat her down on a chair in the kitchen and looked at the clock. “Only got time for a ponytail, baby girl.” Joel had figured out some simple hair care for thick hair he wasn’t quite equipped to work with. Before Sarah was born, he didn’t know how to do a single braid. Joel had practiced a little before Tommy had to chop off his hippie curls for the army but he still was lost in a lot of ways. 2 years ago, Joel must’ve looked particularly lost in the ethnic hair aisle with Sarah in the cart and a kind woman guided him to some hair gel, argan oil, and an edge brush, scribbling a few instructions on some scratch paper. That’s what's gotten him through this far. Joel kept thinking he needed to reach out somewhere or maybe find a book… but with what time?
Kayla, Sarah’s mom, wasn’t much help either. Kayla was mixed and absolutely inherited the polish side as far as hair, where Sarah got her late grandma’s genes. Kayla wanted to chemically straighten Sarah’s beautiful curls last year when she had her over Easter, but Joel put his foot down. When she was older, if she wanted to do whatever she wanted with her hair, braids, relaxed, wigs, she could but there was no way he was letting all those chemicals into a 4 year olds head just to make it “easier.” Joel could handle it.
She looked cute with her little puffball on the top of her head, anyway.
“TOMMY! LETS GO!” Why was Tommy harder to get out the door than Sarah was?
Little hands tugged at his shirt. “Daddy I want coffee.”
“No baby”
“Why?”
“It’s not good for little kids.”
“Uncle Tommy lets me have coffee.”
Joel sighed loudly. “Of course he did. Well, Sarah, that’s an uncle thing, I don’t know what to tell you. TOMMYYY!”
Tommy’s heavy footsteps clomped down the steps, dashing out the door. “Come one Jojo, whatcha wait’n for?”
*
How did little kids have so much energy in the morning? Tommy included. Sarah was chatty as ever on her way, talking excitedly about the eggs in the classroom's incubator. He tried to pay attention, he really did, but he was busy trying to figure out what bills he still owes. It was only September, one month into not having to pay out the ass for Sarah’s daycare. Was he even gonna be able to catch up at all before the summer comes? Her mom said she wanted to take her for the summer, but she was single right now and slightly more involved. When she finds a new man, she suddenly becomes much less interested in her child. Joel didn’t want Sarah around strange men all the time either.
“Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?”
Tommy nudged Joel, calling him name for Sarah’s attention.
“What?” Joel said, not unkindly but perhaps a little too harsh than he wanted to speak around his daughter.
“Happy birthday daddy.”
Joel closed his eyes briefly, wincing at his prior tone. “Thank you baby. I’ll bring home a cake, how about that.” He felt like he could cry, snapping at his sweet girl for trying to wish him happy birthday. He was so bad at this.
Both children in the car cheered.
Joel dropped Sarah off with several kisses on her forehead, then ran off to the truck. He might just be on time if he speeds a bit. He didn’t speed with Sarah in the truck, he was less careful with Tommy.
“Just in time!” Tess’s voice greeted them in the farm house. “You guys eat?”
She knew the answer. Sarah’s kindergarten had a free breakfast program, leaving Joel and Tommy on their own and god knows they didn’t take proper care of themselves. Luckily, they had great bosses.
Joel, Tommy, and Tess all worked for Bill and Frank on their farm. Joel had stumbled on this job shortly after Kayla left and God, what a blessing. Bill and Frank had trouble finding help being the only gay farmers on the planet to felt like, but Joel wasn’t really in a position to deny a good paying job, not in this economy, not with a baby who barely had a mom around anymore. This was before Tommy came back from the army, and Joel’s parents dead a few years prior. He was alone.
That’s where he met Tess. She was something else. A woman working as a farm hand alone was surprising enough, but she was the first openly bisexual person Joel had met. Hell, she was the only the third gay person he knew of and the first woman. He’d lived a sheltered life. Still, Joel didn’t really see an issue with none of it. Wasn’t his business what two grown adults did, that was his thought on the matter. Not that he really had enough time to have thoughts on much of anything other than keeping Sarah and Tommy alive. When Tommy came back, he started working on the farm too.
Tess slid the men some pancakes, stating she knew it and went ahead and made extra.
Frank entered the room with something in his hand. “Wait!” He placed the item, which Joel saw was a candle on the the pancake.
“Oh, no, you guys don’t gotta-”
“Shut the hell up, Miller.” Bill entered the room with a pack of cigarettes in one hand and a lighter in the other. He lit the candle, and then a cigarette.
Frank took it out of his hand, putting it out under the sink. “If you absolutely must smoke, you’re not smoking inside our home.” He then turned back to Joel. “Happy birthday, Joel.” The forth employee, Max, enters the farmhouse and then embarrassingly, Franks leads everyone (except Bill) in a very shitty rendition of happy birthday.
*
“Hey,” Tess nudged Joel as she attempted to fix the clutch without calling Bill up. “You coming tonight?”
Joel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Tommy convinced me. He also told Sarah it’s my birthday so now I gotta bring home cake and do a bit of the birthday thing with her. I was hoping to avoid it another year.”
She laughed at that. “Ah come on! It can’t be that bad.”
“She’s not, it’s my birthday that is.”
“I know.” Tess patted his back.
Joel and her worked in silence for a moment, but he figured this was as good a time as any. “Hey uh… so. You and Tommy.”
Tess smirked, but didn’t look at him. “What about my dear friend?”
“Well uh, that’s just it…” Joel cleared his troat, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just, you guys been spending a lot of time together, and I’m just… well you know he’s at tough spot right now…-”
“When isn’t he?”
“Right. Well. I’m just wondering… Well.”
With a chuckle, she put down the wrench and turned to look at Joel with a smile. “You’re wondering if Tommy and I are an item.”
Cringing hard enough his eyes were closed, Joel nods.
“Don’t worry about your baby brother, he can handle himself.”
“Can he?”
“Joel. Look at me.”
Joel forced his eyes open.
“Tommy and I fuck sometimes to blow off steam, don’t act you’re much different.”
“It was one time!”
“It was 4 times, glad to know that I’m that forgettable.” Tess continued with her teasing before Joel could protest. “Listen, I know you’re worried about him, but Tommy and I aren’t interested in dating each other. It’s just for fun sometimes. Tommy puts up a tough front but I’d eat that boy alive.”
Finally, Joel laughed. Yes, she would.
Tess went back to work. “Besides, you’re meeting my new girlfriend tonight, birthday boy.”
*
Joel was exhausted, washing his hands and forearms and face before leaving to get Sarah. He tried to stay as clean as possible for Sarah. She didn’t need to know how hard he worked for her.
“Hey Joel, I get to watch Sarah this fall don’t I?” Frank asked as he sauntered into the kitchen.
Joel tried to protest, as he did every year, but it was merely a formality to be polite. He couldn’t afford childcare in the late hours it took to get harvest done. Hopefully it wouldn’t be so bad now that Max was hired on, he didn’t see Sarah hardly at all harvest. Joel would come back to the farmhouse to find Sarah asleep on the couch with Frank, who was no help with farming. He handled the finances and paperwork, and functioned as a babysitter in pinches. Joel was forever indebted to the couple, inclduding Bill despite his facade of toughness.
“Nonsense Joel. I look forward to seeing her every time.” Sarah fucking loved Frank. He was teaching her painting and how to have a proper tea party, real tea and all. But with a lot of sugar.
Speaking earnestly, Joel tried to express his appreciation. “Thanks, Frank. I appreciate it. I couldn’t do this without you.”
Frank clapped Joel on the shoulders, sliding him a card. “Thank you for everything you do. We really value you. I know Bill doesn’t say it much, or at all, but we appreciate you here.” He walked off, knowing Joel would protest the $500 cash inside the card.
*
“Daddy! Daddy! I made a friend!” Sarah exclaimed excitedly, running up to her father still covered in her paint smock that quickly transferred the red and blue onto Joel’s jeans.
“Is that so? Who is it?”
Sarah pointed to a little brunette girl sitting in time out. “That’s Ellie! She’s in trouble because she pretended a block was a gun.”
“Oh.”
*
At home, Joel went through the evening routine with Sarah, Tommy having gone with Tess to pre-game. He fed her as much of the macaroni she’d eat, bathed her and made sure to make things as easy for the sitter as possible. When Jessica came over, a nice local teenager that was great with Sarah, he briefed her as he tried to clean up the kitchen.
“Daddy? Where’s the cake.”
Goddammit of course he forgot something. He just can’t do anything right, can he? He was a shitty dad, a shitty brother, a shitty boyfriend, a needy employee-
“Where's the birthday boy!” Tommy burst in, followed by a group of people, some he knew, some he didn’t. With him was Tess carrying a cake.
“TESS!!!!!!” Sarah shouted, but went more for the cake she carried.
“Hiya, love bug!” She patted her ponytail. “Ready to sing happy birthday at the top of your lungs?”
Hadn’t she had enough happy birthdays? She must’ve known he’d forget the cake. They hadn’t been pregaming at all, they were making him a cake.
Tess hands the cake to Tommy, then gestures to the women next to her. Dark skinned, tall, her hair in… locks? Were those called locks? He was cooked. He needs to learn hair. “This is Talia, my girlfriend.”
Talia smiled brightly, extended a hand which Joel shook. “So nice to meet you, Mr. Miller. Tess talks a lot about you Tommy and Max, it’s nice to put faces to the names.”
“Please, Joel is fine. I may ache like an old man, but I’m not one yet.” Joel joked with a soft but tired smile. He turned to tess. “Max coming?”
“Yup.” She shot him a look to be nice. Joel wasn’t fond of max. Good worker, shit head of a person. Joel knew he couldn’t really blame all Tommy’s shit on bad influences, but Max didn’t help. “And this,” She gestured over to another woman who he had just been too flustered to notice until now. “Is Talia’s best friend.”
You were absolutely fucking stunning, unlike anyting he’d ever seen in his life. Tight white tank top, tight leather pants and a leather jacket. In your hair was a streak of vibrant blue. Your eyes connected with his and for a moment, he forgot about all the other people in the room.
“Oh, um, hello,” Joel shook your hand when he snapped out of it, repeating your name.
You smile at him. “Actually, most people just call me Blue.”
A small voice from Joel’s hip. “Is that because of your hair? Why is it blue? Are you sick?”
“Sarah! Don’t be rude.”
Chuckling brightly, you promise it’s okay and crouch down to Sarah’s eye level. “I’m not sick. I actually dye it like that.”
“But why?”
Internally, Joel groaned, thinking you’d take offense at the line of questions Sarah’s certainly had ready, but you just answered. “Well, I think it makes me look pretty, just you’re cute hair style makes you look pretty.”
Sarah lit up at that. “My daddy did it!!!”
“He did? That’s so awesome! You have such a nice daddy.”
Sarah nodded in avid agreement. “He’s the BEST!”
Joel couldn’t help smiling at that. He always felt like he was failing her, but she loved him regardless. “I can’t do a lot, but I’m trying to learn. I can do a mean ponytail.” Joel caught Tommy smirking at him.
Once the babysitter took Sarah to wash up for cake, Talia quietly spoke to Joel, still attached to Tess's arm. “Tess told me her mom isn’t really involved. I’d love to help you learn how to care for black hair.”
Joel felt his heart drop. “Oh shit, does it look terrible? I really tried but I don’t even know where to go and-”
Talia cut him off with a laugh and a hand up. “No, not at all! It looks very healthy. I just mean if you’d like to learn how to do more, especially as it gets longer.”
Always embarrassed to ask for help, he always swallowed his pride for Sarah. “Yeah, yeah actually I’d really like that… I’ll play yuh, don’t worry I wouldn’t make you do it for free-”
She attempted to say he didn’t need to pay, but Tess told her it was useless to try and fight. Joel figured the bonus from Bill and Frank could pay for Sarah’s dentist cleaning and the rest he could pay Talia.
After a terrible happy birthday and saying goodbye to Sarah longer than really necessary, Joel was dragged out of the house to go to some shitty local grunge bands show for his birthday.
Joel fucking hated his birthday.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I can't beleive people actually wanted to read this!!! We need more trans rep in this fandom <3
First chapter setting things up, then one chapter per week for 6 weeks for my Oscar/Pedro pride event!!! each chapter 2-7 will follow themes of the week until the happy end <3
MEET THE OC'S
Talia Monroe
Tess's girlfriend, Blue's bestfriend. Talia is joyfriend and high energy. She offers to help Joel learn black hair to properly care for Sarah.
Max Waltz
Works on the farm with Joel, Tommy, and Tess. Tommy likes him, Joel hates him, Tess ears towards liking him but tries to keep him in check. Max is a generally barzen man, hates his wife, is loud and annoying to Joel.
Kayla Carter
*no face claim right now*
Joel's high school sweetheart and ex-fiance, Sarah's mom. Kayla is in an out of sarah's life, lives out of town and is only around when its convinient, leaving Joel with alone.
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