#im less trans in the 'i was a girl now im a boy' or 'born a girl always a boy' way n more in a

[lonelyplanetfag]

why did they make gender so complicated what's up w that

[our-trans-youth-experience]

hello. i need help. sorry if yhis is venty.

i know this seems like a bad question to ask but i just dont get it!! i mean this from the persoective of someone trying to figure themselves out.

how do you know you're trans (masc or a trans guy)?? i dont understand. do you get a feeling? is it just "yea thats me"?

i think want to be a boy and i want to go on T but part of me just thinks im a confused girl and this will all pass one day but it hurts so bad because i want to be masculine and i want to be a boy and stuff and i wish i was just born a cis dude or something.

idk, im just confused. sorry if this comes off as offensive, i just dont get how people know :(

Hey kid, this does not sound offensive at all, tbh you sound like me a couple of years ago, but over time i promise you'll become a lot more secure in your masculinity.

Being trans is an individual experience. That means "transness" means something different for different people, and there is no one way to be trans.

If you want to be a guy and think you would be happier as one, then you're a boy. If you wish you were born a boy so you could have a flat chest and feel comfortable in your own body, then you're trans. If you don't want to be a girl and it doesn't feel right, then you're not a girl.

Personally, I'm transmasc, because I feel like a boy but not a man, kinda like one step away from binary but I don't really call myself nonbinary either. Its kinda like i'm a trans-guy and the two words aren't really seperable because i'm a queer dude and that is my gender. My "transness" is a part of my gender and who i am.

And even if its a phase? Something being a phase doesn't make it any less valid! Before I was transmasc, I identified as nonbinary for a while and that's ok!! Gender does not have to be static and people change overtime. 50 year old you is not going to be the same as you right now, so what does it matter if your gender is one of the things that changes? <3

[mimikyuno]

i was just talking with my wife about this over breakfast but i rly hope this whole transvestigation paranoia becomes a breaking point because it’s insane? like i hope it snaps some people out of their transmisogynystic daze bc what are you saying? where is the limit?? are you demanding any woman who looks vaguely “masculine” take a chromosome test?!

like first their credo was that “a woman must have a vagina and uterus” but that’s not enough anymore for them, now u need to be born a woman “the right way” or you’re a man. never mind that a huge argument they have used against trans women is that they were “socialized as men” (ridiculous take btw, let’s not even get there) and as such can never understand womanhood and really be a woman okay then why are u saying that even if imane was afab and raised a girl she’s still not enough of a woman?! they’re always like “misogyny is sex-based” and it doesnt matter how a woman presents bc it’s her Biology that primes her for abuse (real takes i have seen!!!) but then say that a cis woman who was assigned female at birth is not Actually a woman bc some corrupt organisation that was accused of malpractice Maybe said she might have XY chromosomes. HELLO?! like do YOU know your chromosomes? do YOU know your testosterone levels? it’s so absurd it feels like im in the twilight zone.

also can we talk about how antifeminist it is to argue that someone is just too good at a sport to be a woman. what is wrong with you. hmm i wonder why men tend to be stronger overall? is it really just their “biology”? bc actually studies have shown that parents underestimate their daughters’ strength and do stuff for them and overall dont let them play rough while little boys are expected to be stronger and tumble. which child do you think will grow up with more muscle mass. which will grow up stronger and faster. i saw some altright men and terfs argue that it is Biologically True that men are Stronger and Faster and Better than women bc “look at the football league, the men are better”. like i wonder why?? could it be that the women’s league overall gets less funding, less intense trainings, and overall there’s less athletes to choose the best from bc on average more men pursue sports than women (for social reasons) etc.????

like how are terfs out there thinking they’re feminists. when they posts a picture of a woman of color and call her too ugly to be a “real woman”. do you see how racist that is?! i also saw them transvestigate the butch-looking polish contestant (for judo iirc) like?! “her hair is short and her face looks masculine” have u ever seen a butch woman irl. you stupid ass. and what if they’re trans btw?? ultimately it does not MATTER. olympic athletes are freaks of nature. usually they’re the best at a sport because they’re literally BUILT for it. they often have a natural advantage as well as years or practice. like what even is your argument anymore?! it’s a stupid sport competition to see who’s the best at certain sports how are u gonna determine which physical/biological advantages are okay and which arent?! y’all are one step away from requesting muscle fibers exam for black people to see if they have more type 2 fibers bc that makes them more likely to be fast. put a height limit for basketball players bc being too tall is rare and therefore unfair to shorter basketball players. banning women with PCOS from competing bc they have elevated testosterone. LIKE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE LIMIT FOR BIOLOGICAL ADVANTAGES IS. IM WAITING.

i think the insanity of the current situation truly is the culmination of all these phrenology-adjacent trends (like mewing and the rest of the “rate me” 4chan standards, look it up), white supremacy being allowed on mainstream platforms and transphobic panic all converging into this mass hysteria. it’s genuinely fascinating from a sociological perspective but jesus christ. the fact that if imane really was trans they could have gotten her jailed or worse. WAKE UP.

terfs love to call themselves feminists yet are using racist phrenology-like standards to determine who’s a “real” woman. being hairy? big nose? strong jaw? short hair? not a real woman :). please STOP. y’all are literally one step away from saying only white women are “real women” LMAO. trans women have been saying for years that transmisogyny IS misogyny (on steroids) and it WOULD bite cis women in the ass too but y’all didnt believe them till it Actually started affecting cis women.

i am hoping this is the peak of transphobia (specifically transmisogyny) and it’s downhill from here and society progresses 🙏🏻 like let’s move ON. enough is enough

[batemanofficial]

time for everybody's favorite game: jaime waxes poetic about whether or not im transgender

so im less concerned with labels now that im a little older than i have been in the past but this shit is so confusing dawg. i always say that if i had been born ten years later i would have transitioned because i spent the first six or so years of my life believing wholeheartedly that i was a boy. but i eventually just kind of had to cave to the expectations that were set for me (interpersonally, at church, within my family, etc), and had a very very hardcore "not like other girls" phase to cope with that. when i got to high school i kinda gave that up and got really into makeup and fashion to try to make femininity "my own," and i still enjoy both of those things today but it's always felt very costume-y to me. like i don't wear makeup to feel like a "better version of myself" (to use substance parlance), i wear it to play dress up. to be something that *isnt* me. its me but its not. its caricature. its pastiche. i very rarely dress up in a way that isn't some kind of like. reference or something. maybe that's not the right word but my outward appearance is very intentionally constructed and not necessarily representative of the consciousness inside. dgmw dressing eclectically is very much a part of my personality and something that i enjoy doing, but it's performance at the end of the day.

but to switch gears a little i don't know if i want to be a man per se either. like ive never felt like a woman but idk about calling myself a man either. like my lesbianism is a huge part of my identity and i don't want to give that up for the sake of ideological cohesiveness. hang on sorry i just realized im describing the plot of stone butch blues. carry on.

but anyway i definitely want the respect that men are afforded both just in general and within my industry specifically (being a woman in a professional kitchen sucksssssss sometimes) but on the flip side would that be worth all the fuss? and idk about testosterone and all that bc i don't want to deal with the side effects quite honestly. but at the same time i hate being looked at as a "woman" and ogled and harassed and all that jazz. if i had it my way i'd be 6'2 and have no tits but alas i am on the surface a conventionally attractive skinny white woman. and i hate that. it disgusts me like genuinely. i know that makes me sound like a total cunt and like im fishing for compliments but im not. maybe im just too substance pilled but i feel like meat when im reminded of what i look like.

i think part of the disconnect im feeling comes from the fact that im intersex (turner syndrome nation rise) and i have all the indicators of womanhood but still other things about my body that point the other way. and identifying as nonbinary feels the most coherent to me but it just comes with so much societal baggage that it's just not worth it to me. like i HATE being they/themmed bc it feels like a pc way to say "what the fuck are you" and "you're just a girl who wants to be quirky." and obv i don't believe those things abt nonbinary people but i feel like that's what the current sentiment is from most people on the street.

ughhhhh anyway. i saw this image and it really made me think. like this is objectively silly but this is exactly how i feel.

but anyway it's 1:15 in the morning and my phone's about to die so i should go to bed BUT if you have any words of wisdom please feel free to share because i am in truth extremely jealous of the self actualization my trans friends and those on hrt have bc i am a pussy who hates going to the doctor and can't get out of their own head enough to decide if they even want that. but i think i might. if you read this far im sorry for the word vomit but thank you for reading anyway. mwah y buenas noches

[floatingwithlaura]

im gonna say it on here bc it’s safer than my other socials atm. i don’t think im trans (fully). i was dead sure for 9? years. i feel like i am losing a part of myself - i am ACTUALLY gaining something but idk my heart is breaking a bit.

i was on T for 2 and a half years. i was gonna get top surgery (and decided not to for diff reasons). i changed my name. the sex on my passport is M. like. i was SO SURE.

now after all this time i’ve finally been unpacking shit in therapy and also learning about autism. and … yeah. i fucked up lmao.

it is entirely on me, i chose to do all i did and i chose to get done what i did. i consented to everything and i do not regret it. i just feel like… let down. that i wasn’t offered the support i needed earlier to understand myself and how i would feel more comfortable.

i am happy w a lot of T changes! like super happy. it made me feel like my own person. but.. yeah.

i think i would consider myself agender but i dont wanna say i identify that way bc its less of an identity and more of just my general understanding of gender. i have never understood gender. probably an autism thing! but i just DONT GET IT. i dont know how it is meant to ‘feel’ or how u even know which one u fit in.

since i was a child i just couldn’t grasp gender like everyone else and i guess that’s why i transitioned bc i never felt like a real girl. but then i didnt ‘feel’ like a boy either. and then i decided to come out as nonbinary but idk. i never ‘felt’ like that either.

to make matters more complicated, my abusive ex stepdad would bully and belittle me for being afab. he made me HATE being born how i was. the csa i felt was only because of my being born this way. no wonder i wanted to get away from it all. i refused to believe he could have an impact like that when i was 16 or so and people were suggesting it. it made me feel even more out of control. all i wanted was to be in charge of my body for once. transitioning felt like getting that control back (one of the reasons im so grateful for it).

in an ideal world gender wouldn’t exist n we would all just utilise hormones and surgery to feel good in our skin much like any other affirming surgeries.

for now i will use they/she pronouns. but idc really. gender is confusing and unimportant to me. i care more for aesthetics lmao ..

i hope this makes some sense n if anyone resonates with it plz dm me :,) i feel quite alone currently. i know it’s a very odd experience but i hope someone somewhere gets it.

[ro-presents-under-the-nola-stars]

Do you think JJ would want to go on T? Either on a low dose or a normal one? Is it something that Jasira would mention to her, or would Jasira think JJ would be interested in?

well, a lot of jj's physical dysmorphia as it stands rn is like directly tied to her repression n feeling like who she is isn't allowed. as a kid, when she was being herself, her little brain associated herself w manhood bcus it was the only version of masculinity she had ever seen but she didn't necessarily feel wrong in her body; she didn't necessarily see herself as a boy in any way. man was jus akin to masculine n she always knew she was masculine n bcus of messaging around her, she knew that girls weren't masculine or that they weren't supposed to b. that was her confusion. it was more like well, im a girl n im like this so something must b wrong as opposed to why was a i born in this body or w these specific body parts. (ofc her mom was jus confused period n ofc hateful so that affected things)

it's what the packing mostly is; acknowledgement of her masculinity that she otherwise doesn't allow herself in public spaces bcus she can do covertly enough it's unnoticeable n therefore safe to her. it's why she feels so deeply connected to it on a mental level, if that makes sense; it's intricately tied to her butchhood n her repression of her butchhood but it isn't necessarily bcus she wants a different set of genitalia, if that makes sense. she's not done it yet in the story, but that's what the binding is, it's her subtly going i'll show you to expectation or like her disliking that boobs are viewed as feminine; it isn't necessarily bcus she hates her chest or hates that she has boobs.

i said that to say this.

the more she comes to know n realize that like who she is isn't a mistake n that sometimes women are masculine aligned n wanna show up that way but it doesn't take anything away from them as women n she doesn't have to conform to femininity then she slowly starts to pull back those limitations she has on herself. she's breathing, she's not constantly in her head about controlling her mannerisms. she's not avoiding weight lifting even tho she really wants to. once she starts feeling more and more free from the repression of it all, it's really more about just being and accepting herself as is. it doesn't really have that that much w how other people see her.

once she starts letting herself b her most masculine self, she wouldn't feel the need to do anything to feel more masculine or to show up as more masculine, if that makes sense. like her getting jacked as time goes on is bcus she always wanted to get jacked n stopped herself from doing so bcus she was tryna fulfill the soft, girly thing. so, for her, getting jacked is, yes i finally feel free to do this as opposed to like, if i get jacked them im gonna look more butch or more masc, if that makes sense.

basically once she starts to love who she is at her core, once she gets fr comfortable mentally, the less she looks at her body on the outside n sees problems or goes i wish.

so, i don't think jj would really feel much need to go on T once she starts to love herself; it wouldn't really do much for her. it wouldn't make her feel any more secure or anything.

now for the jasira-ness of it all, it's another negative. not necessarily for any bad reason, ofc. but, like, for as well versed in queerness as jasira is, as understanding and accepting, as seemingly knowledgeable as she is, it is that way regarding the queerness she's familiar w. so like bcus of the various referenced studs/butch women from her life; so, she understands genderqueerness, trans identities and jus general gender nonconformity in like the most basic of ways which is. she knows people like that exist n it's completely normal n fine to her n she thinks it should b viewed as completely normal n fine by everyone; from her experience, it's a little jarring that it's not viewed as acceptable.

but she doesn't like know the full range of their experiences n the walks of their lives or like all the things that could b done to like idk help them feel more like themselves, if that makes sense. she's not particularly like knowledgeable about like the logistics. like she knows what binding and packing is bcus as a kid, she's caught people doing it. it isn't bcus she's like ever read about it or had any conversations about it. it's all lived n witness experience.

i say that to say this.

that wouldn't b something that jasira would know to suggest. she doesn't have like that type of knowledge or language when it comes to things like this. she doesn't know like the terminology or like the wide range of gender affirming practices that people do. if she's ever known someone who was on T or even on E, she wouldn't have been aware of it. so, she wouldn't suggest purely bcus she wouldn't know to even think about whether or not it would b something jj would b into.

n w jj's journey to self discovery n acceptance in mind, the (lo0se) timeline of it, by the time jasira would b aware of what it means to go on T or anything, jj would b comfortable enough n jasira would know her well enough to know that like it wouldn't b somethin that jj would need to feel more herself. by the time she had the language for her knowledge, jj's sense of self would b stronger n she would apply her learning to other people she knows that are struggling w whatever.

so, yeah…nah.

i hope this made sense; i really appreciate the question.

[isdalinarhot]

might be too soon to have many thoughts but since i can't stop thinking about painter and/or yumi i'd love to hear your thoughts

very excited to do this im like halfway through my second read of yumi and the nightmare painter and im enjoying it very much

okay FIRST painter

First impression: during the preview chapters time i was like YES FINALLY REPRESENTATION FOR THE MARGINALIZED CLASS OF PEOPLE WHO DO THE BARE MINIMUM <3 and felt very seen

Impression now: painter.... painter i would do anything for you....... painter

Favorite moment: OGH to pick is so hard but i think probably when he meets the dreamwatch and realizes theyre all a bunch of nepo babies and goes oh fuck so thats why i didnt get in and his world is like exploded

Idea for a story: well call me crass but i think that like every good m/f sanderson couple the world would be greatly improved by a tasteful 2k fic about him getting pegged. im not gonna write it though

Unpopular opinion: i dont vibe with the people calling him their little baby boy. just feels weird. hes 19. and hes probably roshar 19 so earth 20. i know thats young but that feels old enough for me to be like lets just stick with calling him a poor little meow meow lets not infantilize him. yknow?

Favorite relationship: painter yumi supremacy you know this

Favorite headcanon: i think hes transmasc and like. 2 months post top surgery 2 years on t. i think this because when he found out that yumi was inhabiting his body and making it look feminine he became "morose" and that sort of reaction is exactly how i would react if i was a 19 year old tboy and i found out that my tits were growing back on my body every other day like prometheus's liver. plus the first time they bathe together yumi is looking at his crotch and is slightly baffled and i KNOW thats supposed to be a "yumi has never seen a dick before" thing but IM READING IT as a "yumi was expecting a cis dick and did not get a cis dick and doesnt get it because she doesnt know what trans people are because shes a highly sheltered ritual priestess from the 3rd century" thing.

ok now yumi

First impression: i dont think i liked her in the preview chapters because i was like okay so her thing is she tries too hard and shes gonna meet painter and shes gonna show him the Value Of Putting Effort Into Things and i was like blech.

Impression now: yumi i would do anything for you. yumi. yumi listen to me. if you wanted me to kill someone i would do it.

Favorite moment: during the sanderlanche..... when shes stacking ten bajillion rocks........ please god

Idea for a story: see painter

Unpopular opinion: i dont know what constitutes an unpopular yumi opinion EXCEPT. that ive seen her get a lot less hype than painter and i really think theres no reason for that except for fandom misogyny. so like. begging people to be as enthusiastic about her as they are about painter please god

Favorite relationship: see painter

Favorite headcanon: she and painter would FOR SURE be t4t if yumi wasnt born with so much passive investiture for her to present as a girl for her whole life therefore effectively transing her gender as she is coming out the pussy and making her essentially cis. i believe this. brandon sanderson told me.

[quizzically]

i'm so over gender like actually. I am not third wave of being over gender i'm like 88th wave gender neutralhead for my own self. My physical presentation is a little more complicated and while obviously tying into my identity is a whole nother can of worms. and on a basis of pure, like, in my head secretgender what i actually feel inside, i literally could not care about it less and thinking about my gender identity brings me no joy or gratification at all, infact it feels like a roadblock in my head that i hate when people make me reckon with. it's not like i'm repressing something or have a problem cause it's not like i'm trying or wanting to figure it out anymore. i've figured out my gender a thousand times for myself but now it's come to the stage that i have to project it externally

I Just Dont Care

there's nothing that will make you hate the gender binary more than being maverique-adjacent and just wanting zero part of it, not just not wanting to choose but not having to have to choose in the first place. like leslie feinberg said "ill never be a boy or girl as long as thats a question that has to be asked". nothing will make you hate it more than just not wanting to be GENDERED. EVER. STOP HAVING IT BE RELEVANT, KILL IT. i dont want gender markers on profiles or licenses I dont even like being called trans most days it's just like a clinical thing that i pull up in discussions it's like my blood type.

i like being a butch on a pure like my-role-position-in-society level it's like having a job. i like being butch to women and men. i like people thinking im a boy because i was born a girl and its like, i want to just be defiant in any way i can, i like defying expectations. and also i love "boy clothes", more comfy and practical and less revealing on the whole than presenting in "girl clothes", i know thats old headed talk but just to get a message across. I like being chivalrous and acting masculine and proud and standing up for myself but even then not all the time, im kinda a pansy. i know that will never unmake me a butch but you know what i mean. that's literally as far as it goes.

i'm just a person. i'm a human. that is so cliche. but like. humans are incredibly smart animals while we are animals our emotional intelligence is like through the roof 300 times over. We could afford, to not do this. bleh.

gender is so totally important to so many people though. this is not like a global righteous statement for the state of the world its just my ideal. Idk maybe in an ideal world where we never invented the gender binary it wouldn't be such a priority to lots of people to be understood as one thing or another...at all. maybe gender dysphoria is a lot more of a biological thing idk im totally not qualified. U ever see a trans person get their driver license or id changed. crazy stuff it warms your heart it's so nice. bt again a lot of the reason they might want to be one thing or another is because of this...ridiculous, colossal, thousand million year empire or stereotypes, and standards, and ideas and rules that we've made up, for these two little boxes. that we either want to stay in or leave.

[cotarded]

Do you think the sex we are born as has an impact on our life and personality or is there a possibility we would be exactly the same in terms of our character etc if we were born the opposite sex (to as we are). Also if you had a choice would you still choose to be the sex you are or not really? If yes, why?

idk if its stupid or fake deep or what im tired and curious of your opinion ! cheers ☃️

Hey hi hello! This is not a stupid or fake deep question at all. I’m gonna ramble on a bit, hope you don’t mind. 

So one aspect of it is, at least to me, obvious and evident. Yes, the sex we are born as has a tremendous impact on our life. The way we are raised, perceived, the expectations of our families, schools, employers, what we are taught from the earliest days we should aspire to, what is the purpose of our life and the pinnacle of success - all of those depend on our sex. There’s so much research on the impact of sexed socialisation on boys and girls by now that if I wanted to cite something I wouldn’t know where to start. And if it is so pervasive, so omnipresent - why should we assume it doesn’t affect our personalities?

This is another obvious thing - men and women are characterologically and behaviourally different. Not in a discrete way, there are no “woman traits” and “man traits”, but in a similar way to height distribution - a lot of women will be taller than some men and a lot of men will be shorter than some women, but still as a whole men are significantly taller. Now, character traits are more difficult to compare than height - let’s take aggression; by all objective criteria men are more aggressive. But really, the only thing we can measure is the aggressive behaviour - so are women behaving less aggressively because they feel less aggression, or do they feel the same aggression but don’t display it because they were taught so? We are unable to distill character from societal influence, or at least I am unaware of any way of doing so. 

And now we are arriving at one of the “dangerous”, unsolved questions of feminism - are the characterological and behavioural differences between males and females inherent, borne of sex, or just a result of socialisation? I don’t know. My opinion, based on my own life and observations (and of course political opinions) is that there are biologically-determined differences in character trait distribution, but it is socialisation which accounts for the vast majority of differences in behaviour between men and women. 

I do think that two people with the exact same character preset, just a different sex (see, a biologist in me is already confused as to how would that work with eg. testosterone levels, but let’s roll with the hypothetical), raised in our society would still behave differently from one another. Raised in some ideal space with no gender stereotypes and sexed socialisation, probably they’d be the same person. Which is not to say that men and women can’t behave the same and have the same character traits, even with the socialisation - and if we suddenly got rid of misogyny and patriarchy, I’m sure we’d suddenly became much more similar.

In any way, I think I’d be different if I was born male and I shudder to think of it. Which neatly ties us into the last part - if I had a choice I would still choose to be female, even (or especially) in our misogynistic, patriarchal society. There's a story that I used to tell as a funny anecdote (that's become less funny in recent years): I was quite GNC as a child, and when I first learned about transsexualism (as it was still widely known then) in elementary school, I started wondering if maybe I was trans. So I read a bunch of blogs and articles and was getting ready to present my parents with my case, until one night I had a dream that I went through with it, became a boy, and as a result I had to stop hanging out with girls and start being friends with boys and use their bathrooms and changing rooms… Which cured me Instantly. Of course that’s a bit of tongue-in-cheek, but the fact remains - among a ton of other reasons, I appreciate being female for the connection it gives me to other women. I never got along with men and I have a rather low opinion on majority of them, which means I would prefer not to become one. 

I am also, at this point, quite attached to my “identity”. I know who I am, I grew up as her. I wouldn’t change any of her immutable traits, even to a more “beneficial” ones, because they are parts of me, they inform who I am, how I act and think. Circling back - a man could exhibit the exact same character traits as me, but I wouldn’t be myself if I were male.

Does that make sense?

Cheers! 🎃

[booblywooblies]

actually, on the topic of "the little girl you used to be" i have actually had a concept/philosophy since about 2019 about "the girl in the photo"

so for context: ive always been a little genderless goblin, ive always had bowl cuts and played with boy toys and sports and dirt and animals, i wanted to be steve irwin when i was a kid and i hated barbie. this carried on well into my teen years where i was still a tomboy and people thought i was a lesbian, i think it was really starting to hit me that id eventually have to start living as a woman unless i grapple with the fact that im trans (something ive been on and off thinking about since the age of 7)

so i was like okay, im a trans man and im going to transition, but until then i may as well try being feminine, like, yknow for fun, bc ive never really presented that way

this is where the MAJORITY of my "girl" selfies take place, ages 18-22 (i hit my gender performativity limit at 22 and started to have bad break downs about it so thats about when i gave up went back to normal but thats not important for now)

so during this time i was struggling with like, basically trying to look as appealing as possible, i learned how to pose my back and my face and angle my camera just right and i used filters and lighting and all kinds of stuff. i started to develop this idea of "the girl in the photo" she was never actually me because yknow i have a flabby body and half lidded eyes and a double chin and stuff, and because she wasnt me it didnt matter how fake she was so it was okay if i cleared up my skin with apps and edited my face to look less fat. she wasnt me, but like, at the same time she also wasnt *real*

not just in the sense that she was a false lookalike of a real person but she was also a dishonest representation of an identity that didnt belong to anyone in the first place, she was a figment of my imagination that i captured in images and presented to the (online) world as a character i sometimes played

ive actually considered fishing for funny replies on a dating site using old pictures of me and using the name "maisy" in a fake profile. bc when i was 18 i was on okc a lot, i never met up with anyone because they all saw me as the girl in the picture and it made me feel disgusted. but some of the messages i got were so bizarre and it was fun to make fun of them with my friends.

i still like the old pictures i took, they dont really make me feel dysphoric because, even my friends ive known since middle school have said "thats a completely different person, before and after"

and its like, obviously i am what youd consider transgender, i was born with a certain set of genitalia and i didnt feel the initial puberty my innate hormones caused for me was good for my well being (obviously everyones definition of trans is different but for me this is how it worked out for me) but theres something about this character i created for a handful of years of my life that feels like it was the biggest change ive ever made. me pretending to be a woman in appearances only was the most different my gender has ever been throughout my life. like its so simple to me that ive always been male, i was a little boy, a guy, and now im a man. you cant claim to know if you werent there.

[puppybeetle]

sorry im talking abt transition stuff i just need to let it out

i do talk abt surgeries btw , just a warning but nothing too explicit , just the mention of them

its so funny because back when i found out i was trans i wanted to get everything to make myself male . i mean i already am , but i didnt properly understand it because i was literally 11 yrs old and dealing with the most terrible , awful gender dysphoria / body dysmorphia ever . i wanted top surgery , a phalloplasty , highest dose of testosterone i could get , anything to get me to ' look ' male enough . my mental health was at an all time low from when i was 11 to about 15 simply because i wasnt born male . i have a better understanding of myself now , i dont actually want a phalloplasty anymore since ive learned to be more comfortable with my body , and im actually on the fence with top surgery and probably will instead opt for a huge breast reduction instead . like weh i still am not happy with how my body looks , but i realised i actually like being and looking feminine and that doesnt make me any less male . like i wanna somehow achieve the appearance of a 2000s moe anime girl , but whos a boy and a dog at the same time .

^^^^^ like this :P that is just my gender :3

but this doesnt change the fact that i still want to receive hrt , i just learned what i want out of it is more specific which is why now i want a low dose of testosterone :P simply for fat redistribution so my hips arent wide anymore =3= i dont want any of the more like ... . noticeable changes like body / facial hair or change of voice but yknow its pretty much unavoidable , either way my voice is already naturally higher pitched so i think i can deal if my voice does lower . other than that my transition would be rather simple and has more to do with social and legal stuff :/

anyway im just a 2000s moe anime cutecore trans puppyboy .. .

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

thinking about what would happen if celia and co were changed, afab<-->amab. given their storys are so heavily influenced by [stupid] gender politics, its interesting to think about how different or similar they would be, and in some cases how they switched roles...

after i finished, its funny to me how they range from, actually happier as born the 'other' gender, dont care either way and just present the same way, and this character is a certain gender in whatever universe, cis or trans.

Tesoro- Butching it up. does celia/muros: im gonna live as a man but with a lot less angst, cause would be happy as a very masculine he/him butch, whereas Celia does like being feminine, just never gets the opportunity to. Mmmm butch Tesoro....

Elena- Ironically works out the same, with an even better incentive to leave and pass down leadership, as she would be a trans woman, taking the scholarship as a way to go somewhere more accepting- or even just start over as a trans woman instead of as the boy from down the road. Her art career would be less popular and prolific than when she is cis, but she manages to get by and in just how she feels abou herself as an artist, she struggle a lot less with feeling like shes selling out. [and while she will get the money for surgeries, her strong preference of loose clothes really helps her out]

Celia- kinda ends up switching places with Conficcare, becoming the bitchy little guy that's slightly to feminine to avoid being harassed as 'gay'. if given the opportunity would probably be openly genderqueer like Rametto but 'its not paranoia if they are out to get you'. unfortunately never gonna be free of toxic masculinity. rip.

Conficcare: he would transition. or wouldn't and be really unhappy about it for a long time. traded homophobia for sexism and is generally unhappy about it.

Cecio- wow hes cis now! him n Elena swapping! he would be having a lot more sex. other than that? hes pretty strongly a man and given he transitions so young, it doesn't affect him as much. he may even not become a fucking pig because the money Celia pays/owes for hormones and later surgery cant be held over his head.

Rametto- pretty happy as a girl! definitely still genderqueer but her femininity isn't [quite] such a dangerous statement.

Amelia- pretty happy as a guy! definitely enjoys being a ladies man without the homophobia, but would pay for it in feeling even more pressure to provide for family.

so thats:

better off: Cecio[now cis man], Rametto[now more closely aligned with presentation]

neutral: Tesoro[butch], Elena[look transmisogyny is a major downside], Amelia [man]

worse off: Celia[cis man], Conficcare [trans man]

[unstablequeerbitch]

I live in east tn and after some laws was brought up (and now in effect), I had people ask me if I was going to move. “Why?” I asked. “This is my home. I have every right to be here. I am going to stay.“ they continue to push saying that somewhere else would be better that it would be safer.

But what the young trans kid down the street? What about the shy boy staring at his best friend in school? What about the girl sitting in Sunday school realizing she can never have everyone expects of her. What about the child struggling with puberty and not realizing that they are intersex and that’s okay? What about the regions around here who helped us? Thank you ETSU who helped us during the aids crisis and became a home for people who were struggling. Thank you to the “no hate on my holler” folks and “I care who you like, can you fix my brakes or not” guys. Ironically, I’ve always felt safer down here than in bigger cities up north.

I shouldn’t alienate myself to protect myself. And leaving isn’t going to help anyone. Im not anything new. Being a redneck is as much of my identity as being queer. I will not sacrifice one to make someone else comfortable.

Now cause it’s me, I’m going to dump some Intersting info below of timelines and articles of east tn queer history:

“ I had bought into the dominant narrative in LGBTQIA spaces that because I am queer I could never live back home. I was told—in not so many words—that I could not have my queerness and my mountains, too, that I would not be safe there, that I would not be able to survive, much less thrive. This is a common experience for those of us who have left the small towns and rural areas where we grew up”

Country Queers story here

“1864 - Albert D.J. Cashier, serving with the Union Army, fought in the Battle of Nashville. Scholars believe that Cashier, born Jennie Hodgers, was a transgender man, especially since he lived the rest of his life after the Civil War as a man.” (Here’s some more Nashville and middle TN queer history timelines)

TN decided that Reagan was taking too long to do something about AIDS and made there own groups to fundraise and help assist with living expenses and medical bills (link here)

Here’s a UT teacher making a class of gay history and a photo of her great great aunt kissing a girl from 1920s

Voices out loud project who collect east tn queer history

An article talking about how so much of our history may never be obvious. I love these paragraphs. “Less obvious are the dozens of prominent Knoxvillians who were eccentrics, who often remained single, and about whom an octogenarian lady might startle you with a whisper, “people say he was queer,” or “she wasn’t interested in men, you know.”

And that would be that. A good reporter pries. Often a friend doesn’t.

You hear things, observe things, so much that you become almost sure about your conclusions. It’s not necessarily the duty of the historian to out the dead. I’m pretty sure it’s not mine, anyway.”

I’m going to say it one more time: Being a redneck is as much of my identity as being queer. I will not sacrifice one to make someone else comfortable.

Gay people in the American South

[vreedleedleedle]

Ever thought about drawing a Human form of Argit?

There's an episode of Omniverse that briefly showed an AU version of Argit with an Omnitrix (whew boy I sure feel bad for that Universe lol)

But DJW had confirmed that Argit indeed had a Human form stored in his Omnitrix and ever since then I always kinda wondered what Argit would look like as a Human 🤔

Like would he be a PoC or White? Maybe he would like his VA?

(Tbh I lowkey think Argit's design in Omniverse was probably meant to resemble the way Alexander Polinsky looks mainly because Argit's eyes sorta look like Alex's imo)

I think if he were born a human he might look like this. I think he’s from LA but puts on a more Boston accent to sound less like a valley girl (although I think that’s already the case in canon tbh). I think he’s still an immigrant but to America rather than Earth, ya know? Like, in ultimate alien, the forever nights straight up targeted him for being an alien, so there’s already a legit basis in the show for him to be coded as non-white. (And I don’t think we’re ever seen a forever knight that wasn’t white, I wonder if Dwayne mcduffie meant for that implication. They already broached the subject with the highbreed so who knows)

I personally see him as Mexican in this au because Elena’s barely in the show and I want some representation dammit!! Speaking of representation, I see his human form as maybe trans (again, purely self indulgent) but I don’t think he fits that label as an alien because his species doesn’t work like that. Im kinda on the fence on that though.

All this being said I think if Argit used the “argitrix” to turn into a human it would just be Ben’s dna so he would look like Ben with a gold color scheme b/c the omnitrix was stated somewhere to be linked to Ben now or something. Kinda like albedo lol

[woxxn]

Im finishing up my bachelors in bioscience and I was wondering what do you think distinguishes a transitioned woman who has had surgery, has the same hormonal make up as a cis woman, the sociological experiences that are similar to a woman's as they are female presenting. if its just the XX chromosome, aren't you reducing whole people to how their DNA bunches up? I have no idea what dysphoria feels like so idk why the urge to transition exists but it doesn't effect society negatively

I hope you are doing great in bioscience!

There are millions (hundreds of thousands?) of things that distinguish a woman from... a man or “a transitioned woman who has had surgery, has the ‘same’ hormonal makeup as a ‘cis’ woman, and the sociological experiences that are similar to a woman’s as they are female presenting”. We are more than XX vs XY as for starters there have been other documented types such as XXY or XYY. Additionally, sex is immutable and over 99% of the time is clear at birth by viewing genitals. That less than 1% born intersex as generally designated a sex, leaving a very small portion of babies to grow up into intersex adults. Along with viewing this primary sex characteristic we all have secondary ones, women generally are shorter, have wider hips, have more breast tissue, and the list goes on. “Female presenting” has nothing to do with “female reality”. You can’t present as a sex unless you are that sex, you can perform stereotypes of that sex and that’s what men do when they say they are “female presenting”.

Biological males, or transitioned women as you might say, do not have the same sociological experience as women and girls. Your sociological experience is part based off how others view you. A man transitioning at the age of 40 has not had 40 years of female oppression. A boy transitioning at the age of 15 still has not been oppressed or regarded as female at every step of his life.

And even if this was just “reducing whole people to how their DNA bunches up” so what? That is one of the main ways we distinguish female and male.

The effect on society is not one that most people are seeing right now.

They are not seeing how putting trans girls on girls sports teams will physically and mentally harm the girls. Coed sports are very common for young children where their biological differences have not yet begun to emerge. But by the time they are teens it’s a clear difference. A 15 year old 5’4 125 pound girl who plays soccer is not going to fair too well up against a 15 year old biological male who is 6’2 and 225 who “identifies” as a girl. This is going to end girls and womens sports because all these second rate men are jumping ship and entering our spaces.

Women will no longer be the safest people. Did you mother ever tell you as a kid that if you are lost in public to always find a woman or a mother? Before transwomen began being lumped in with women the most current rates showed more arrests for sexual assault among boys aged 10-12 than for woman of all ages. Basically stating an 11 year old boy is more dangerous on average than any woman. Since that research the number for female violent crime has rapidly increased as men have always been the greatest perpetrators of violent crime.

This also removes hundreds of years of women overcoming oppression. Women in the early 1900s couldn’t just “identify” as men so that they could vote, file for divorce, own their own property, etc. so they worked hard to make sure future women didn’t have to deal with that. Worked hard to make sure women are heard and involved in politics. Worked to make sure there are minumums on how many women are involved. But now those spots are going to men who “identify” as women. And there is nothing groundbreaking about yet another male politician/ CEO/ or other area women are underrepresented.

I hope this answers what you were asking!

[cipheramnesia]

This is a combination vent/semi anonymous coming out, and you don't have to post it, I understand why people would be hesitant to. I'm 18 years old, when I was 15 I got taken from a very queer friendly city to a small town in the most Republican county in my state. I came out to my friends and mom as enby when I was 16. I thought I was an enby girl, I had internalized a lot of radfem rhetoric and was ashamed of my own masculinity and manhood, then a soft trans boi, and trans man, and now which is "I'm pretty positive I'm genderfluid and/or multigender" but, even then, my experiences with gender, dysphoria, and euphoria are almost always unorthodox. I was assigned female at birth, I want to be a [feminine gender], but I feel like I was born in the wrong body, I relate most to and feel at ease with identity terms used by trans women.

Everyone tells me I'm cis and just have body dysphoria, or that im misinterpreting my own feelings, that im actually just a feminine trans man, that I'm a mogai snowflake, a crypto terf, a radfem, transmisogynistic, fetishistic, an invader, hell, that I'm playing into the "transphobic born in the wrong body narrative," that I must see trans women as men or as still being their agab because of this (I dont, its exclusively a me thing that agab has anything to do with it). But my experience with my body, and my own conceptualization of my gender, my womanhood, my femininity, is not cis. I have never aligned with the kind of womanhood assigned to me, I have never related fully to the girls and women in my life, my girlhood was wrong, when people look at me and call me she it feels Wrong because I know they dont see Me. And even if I were born male, I would still be trans, more comfortable and less conflicted probably, but still trans, I would probably still transition, I would still have dysphoria and euphoria but I would be able to call myself a trans woman. Even my own transition feels wrong because I'll be going on testosterone.

My friends support me, but they're not transfem, and I want so badly to reach out to trans women and transfem communities because I read posts and I see pictures and I relate and im jealous and I hate it, I'm so bitter and I dont want to be, I just, I feel like I'll never be able to live authentically and have people accept me in cis or trans society. I know why the idea of an "afab trans woman" sets off red flags, I know terfs and transmeds alike took that and bastardized it to hurt people, I hate them for doing that. I was so excited to find people like me for the first time when I learned what circumgender was, only to realize there just how people felt about my experiences. I recloseted myself, I've forced myself into other boxes, I've made myself a more acceptable flavor of trans, but it doesnt work and it doesnt go away, I used to be so naive but now I'm starting to feel suicidally depressed over it and I'm so scared people are going to hate me, they already do. No one understands, and that's what they tell me, that I cant be a trans woman because I'll never experience what it is to be a "real trans woman," but they dont understand everything about my experiences either, that goes both ways but no one is willing to take me at face value and focus on similarities instead. I'm so alone, and I'm so tired, and every day im reminded with this tme shit, this "only x can call themselves y" shit, how much I dont fit.

I want to be seen as a trans woman, I want to be clocked as genderqueer in a transfem way, and I know the dangers, I know the risks many trans women dont want that come with being visible, and people tell me im appropriating trans womens struggles, that I have a choice and they dont, but it's not a choice for me, and no one seems to understand that. And when I say I want to look visibly transfem people think I have a transphobic idea of a what a trans woman looks like, that's not true, I only know what I would want to look like if I was one. I used to use those words, but more and more these labels became segregated, and I get it, the biggest defense I've noticed is that people with very specific experiences need to be able to find each other, and broadening what "trans woman" or "transfem" means makes that harder but, are all transfem experiences the same? Is that more important than my ability to live comfortable and authentically? Maybe it is, honestly. I don't know how to feel anymore, thank you for your time, sorry for dumping all this in your ask box.

It sounds like you're going through a lot of complicated gender things right now. Let me just start at the top with the two salient points I plan to explain in detail, the tldr if you will.

First, gender is a fuck. I'm never going to enforce someone into or out of gender boundaries. Gender does not break into identifiable components in ways that matter. Your lived experience is what you have, and should be acceptable for others.

That said, second, "circumgender" seems to originate with transphobes, terfs, etc. For this reason, I would encourage you to forge a path away from the specific term. I won't insist something like "afab people cannot have any trans feminine gender experience." Only that you should separate this lived experience from an idea proposed by a hate group.

Third, which I say a lot but I wanna say again - I'm not the queer police. I am, if anything, fumbling my way through all the gender and sex and stuff as blindly as anyone else. I have a book of matches for light, but I'm still mostly in the dark.

Okay, now that we have the article summary, I'll try and go into some discussion and hopefully it will be of use. Where I want to start is with the current state of the gender which is... question mark? Gender has become increasingly nebulous because all the components we use to categorize can, to greater or lesser degrees, be separated from definitional absolutes. Everything from genetics to hormones to clothes and social roles does not have a clear, definitive binary gender distinction. Good.

This also means more people are aware that gender as a "man/woman" experience exclusively is not correct - gender can be experienced in an extremely diverse way. Consequently there's something of an awakening of people realizing they've never really fit into male or female genders. It has created a free space to explore the self via gender, but the same free space can be confusing, particularly if you haven't felt as if any of the particular orbits of gender feel correct for you.

And you know, like anyone trying to figure out where they belong, you can get sucked in by people offering easy answers, which is a radfem deal, which it kinda sounds like what you went through. It also does sound like you're experiencing more than a single isolated particular gender, to me, and while I don't want to say "don't be this gender" I don't want to shove you into a feminine category if you feel like you have other aspects to your gender. For the "variations in gender" in addition to the more general nonbinary there's also genderfluid, genderpunk, genderflux, bigender, and good old genderfuck - plus more.

Or, to put it another way, it sounds like in the space of exploring gender, you've been pushed around a lot and feel discouraged from trying to explore any kind of masculine or feminine feelings, or even seeing what neither one might be. This is all really abstract, for which I apologize. Like I said, I'm also feeling my way trying to understand gender stuff.

But altogether, some further internal consideration might be in order, maybe even see if you have any way to secure help from a therapist who has experience with more than just a gender binary? I know not everyone has this option, but consider it, if you can.

On the side of wanting to read as trans feminine, that's, as they say, complicated. Some people read saying "born in the wrong body" as a problem but I'm kinda whatever on that. I know people who have that experience, I know me who never did, it's different for everyone.

The issue with wanting to look trans femme, I think, is that there's not like... a specific look. I honestly could not say what it means to look trans feminine. I don't want to throw out examples but there is really no end to the scale of how trans femme people look.

This is also illustrative in a practical way of why "circumgender" as a term is more in the realm of transphobic than useful identity. It's kind of the opposition to the whole current thing with gender, which is that taxonomic or absolute classification doesn't exist. It says "I have defined and identified what a trans woman is, independent of trans women generally, and I am that."

The more inclusive and open experience of trans women is more like "I can identify that I am not cis, and my gender is a binary woman, or trans woman." I know this seems a bit like hair splitting, but one of the approaches for exclusion is to draw a line around something (eg, Woman) and then declare things which are excluded from it based on internal prejudice, systemic oppression, social mores, etc etc.

So, moving back to having a trans feminine feeling, I guess what I'm saying is that if gender is pretty nebulous, and trans femme can look like a lot of different things - it's not a question of what you can and can't do with your gender as much as it is that what you feel affinity for something that does not itself have any defining traits? This has nothing to do with afab or whatever, more that you've got a bit of a moving target.

This is good, because it means for one you can explore a larger understanding of trans women's experiences - get a good handle on how many different ways we have of doing or being a gender just on that single category of binary gender alone.

And also it means you can see the convergences of "not cis" and "feminine" through the lens of something that doesn't require one specific way of doing the feminine.

So I guess what I'd conclude with is to think about other ways to articulate your gender that don't require predetermination of the gender of someone else. You have a good amount to start with - "feminine but not cis, affinity for masculine, but in a feminine way (if I understood correctly)."

Some of this is probably a bit off the mark of what you are trying to deal with, but I hope it generally or overall is useful to think about.