#im legit never shutting up about this i love them so fucking much

[gocryaboutitt]

How 'bout a little hope?

whats up guys, im back at it again, with the same character, Jess (the australian) its legit about a photo shoot lmao.

"Alright guys, i want you to at least try and act normal, especially you three" she groans while looking over at nikki, tommy and vince. "I dont need to worry about mick, considering he yells at you more than i do" she grins while leaning against the counter in the dressing room.

Mick snickers in the corner while leaning back on the sofa "yeah guys, listen to the australian that constantly sounds drunk", "wow, mick, im hurt" she says while rolling her eyes, "are you three done admiring yourselves in the mirror?" she says while looking at them through the mirror.

"its vince thats pretty much making out with himself, look at him" laughs tommy while standing behind her and leaning his head on her shoulder, "be patient, Jess, it takes time to look this good" "yeah, yeah just hurry up i have to make sure you guys are out there in" she checks her watch, "well fuck." she sighs "what?" they all ask in sync. "you guys were meant to be out there like 10 minutes ago."

"come on you lot, we've got a photo shoot to do" she grins while walking out of the room and making her accent more prominent.

As they're lead down a long corridor that splits off into different rooms, she hears them all snickering in front of her. "what the fuck are you idiots giggling about?" she questions, rather plainly. "It's nothing, sweets" grins tommy as he makes room beside him for her to stand.

"well boys" the producer claps, "and woman" he smiles, "im not sure what emotions you might be feeling but im hoping its joy and not your normal destructive selves" "listen man, no matter what you tell them, they will either get naked or break something" she says while sighing. "You never complain when we're naked for ya, jess" nikki says while smirking.

your view from here on;

"shut up, asswipe" i groan while rolling my eyes, "just go get this shit done so i can go home" i say while walking off in search of somewhere to sit.

"alright guys, just stand here and we'll have your instruments brought over" says the staff member with too much enthusiasm. As they stand in place, get given their instruments, i start to wander around until im standing over by where the photos are being taken.

im standing over by this poor staff member that looks like shes about to piss herself from giggling, i cant help but laugh at the idiots that stand before me "you guys look so fucking stupid right now" i manage to say after catching my breath.

"that's not very nice, sweetheart" pouts vince while looking straight at me, "sorry blondie it's the truth". the producer comes over and stands by me "would you like to get in a photo with them?" he asks while grinning "with those idiots, i would rather scalp myself, look at them, they look like they've never seen a camera!" i groan "well then, i think we're done here, you guys are done and should be good to go" "alright, thank you for this" i smile while holding out my hand.

"its my pleasure!" he grins while shaking my hand and walks away. "alright you idiots, lets get out of here, foods on me" i say while turning around and walk off to the dressing room, as i hear them running after me, "fuck yeah!" yells tommy as he lifts me off the ground "for fuck sakes, put me down, please!" i say as i slump into him.

"no way darlin'" grins nikki as he and tommy begin to run down the corridor, "i'm so glad i don't get motion sick, fuckin' pray for me".

well, that was fun, dont you guys think so? it sucked lmao, im so sorry to whoever reads it.

I love you guys <33

anything is welcome!

[bullet-prooflove]

You’ve created a monster 👿 and because you told me to request you best believe I’m gonna %1000 come thru! So BETCH I am on my knees begging you to please do a part 2 or better yet even a full update 😆 of your Nero/Cam girl series please! I would love her reaction to him confessing his feelings for her and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN PLEASE GIVE US THE SMUT WE DESERVE FINALLY!!! You are literally torturing me with these two because every time I read an update you post of them Im left yelling in frustration because the sexual tension is legit torture when you leave us with just a tease of them!!!

So please put me out of my misery and don’t let me endure another moment of torture because I just might break

💛💛💛

Keep up the awesomeness and can’t wait for your next update Queen

Companion piece to Day Off

This did not go the way I planned...

“I love you.” He tells you. “I’ve loved you since the moment we met.”

You don’t believe him; Nero can see it in your expression. You turn your head back towards the sky, your fingertips slipping from his so that your palm comes to rest upon your stomach. There’s a tension in your shoulders that resonates through your entire body.

“Is that what you say to all the other girls?” You ask him, your voice a rasp as you stare up at the clouds. “Is that why they sell themselves for you?”

“What?” He spits the word out like a curse because never in a million years did, he expect this from you.

There’s an agony blossoming in his chest, and he tries to shut it down, to be rational but truly you’ve shaken him. He can’t understand how he could have been so wrong about a person.

“I know when I’m being played Nero.” You say quietly, toying with the silver rings on your fingers. “I know what it means when a man says that he loves you, I know what’s expected in return.”

“That’s not what…” He trails off, his lips clamping together as he forces himself up into a sitting position, his elbows coming to rest on his knees as he inclines his head towards you. “You’re fucked up you know that?”

You lay there still sprawled on the grass; your arm thrown up over your head like in one of your boudoir shots on the website.

So fucking tempting and so fucking infuriating all at the same time.

“Do you think I’d be doing this job otherwise?” You ask him as you flick your sunglasses down from their place on the top of your head so that they cover your eyes. “Do you think I’d be selling myself if I was ‘normal’?”

Something happened to you, he feels it in his bones. Someone turned you out and once that happens you can never go back. You re-live the ways you’ve been used even when you step away from the life, it carves itself into your psyche. This he realises must be the compromise. The camming.

You don’t hook anymore, but you sell yourself in a different way and it erodes at your soul little by little until there’s nothing left but an emptiness right where it used to be. He thinks that’s what he’s looking at right now, that vastness. Someone reached into the depths of your spirit, and they tore it to pieces. He sees exactly who you are, and he loves you for it, the problem is your experiences have always been transactional, no matter what he says you’ll never believe him.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He tells you with a sigh. “It’s too much. I can’t be around you.”

There’s no way to win, he understands that now. In your mind, he will always be a pimp and you will always be a whore, trying to claw your way out from underneath him, even if it wasn’t him that put you there in the first place.

“Alright.” You say, your voice devoid of emotion. “I’ll get myself out of Diosa tomorrow.”

[collinnmckinley]

I don't have Twitter, is there maybe a screenshot or something about what happened with Barry Sloane and the others?

Its been a long couple of weeks (more longer) since then but here's what happened-

As i go back to get the screenshots, im surprised he hasnt tweeted that much since then, otherwise you cannot shut this man up.

Literally unprovoked because of a joke made about the game length!

Then, he acts all tough after riling up people.

This is where he just kept replying to everyone with the "😘" emoji. Like shut the fuck up if you dont have anything to say. Or rather just dont say anything

Then there are who will support his actions blindly;

I agree Barry, its time for you to shut your mouth.

Cant make an argument back? Use gifs!!!;

I admit, some of the people who replied to him are so unhinged that i cringed more than i cringed looking at this man's interactions with people on twitter. But he kept egging them on and on and on. And they just kept replying even more unhinged shit.

I used to have so much respect for him. Now I just look at him pitfully. You might say he's just having fun and all why you gotta be mad. Thats the thing! Hes not doing it for fun, its not funny at all. And its certainly not respectful to anyone let alone his fans. And im not mad, im just so fucking embarassed for him. Now after 20 days after this, people would forget it, i certainly have myself, but when you are in that moment, seeing someone live tweeting (yes i had notifications on for him at the time since his teasing of mwiii), you legit feel second hand embarrassment for them. And all he did was make himself look like a clown that couldnt accept how bad the game he was on. Like, have some shame man. Just.... stop replying to people. Accept and move the fuck on.

Since he wasnt going to move on, i decided to move on from having anything to do with him. I love price dont get me wrong, and i forever will love him. But ill never associate myself with barry sloane again.

Price will be price and i appreciate barry wholeheartedly for bringing his reboot to life, he was perfect in mw2019, and was good enough in mwii (i say that because i had some issues with that price), but mwiii price? Feels like, a person who didnt play the game and only consumed his character from fanfictions and gifs, wrote him. It felt too ooc to be john price. And i will always despise sledgehammer for doing my man so dirty like that.

[valyrra]

Hi! Anon 🐈‍⬛ here, I need some advice, I'm going insane. I live in an opressive family, they behave like I'm not a person and they love to shut me up all the time when I have to say anything and even then they don't listen to what I have to say. They say that's because I don't have a job... (They love mentioning I'm jobless even though they KNOW about my state of mind)

I'm extremely depressed and scared to meet other people because of negative experiences. They conditioned me to stay silent and listen, but after years of silence I got sick of it and got more argumentative. For example: father (who is so obsessed with eating healthy that he made it everyone's problem) today made so much drama because we drank a sweet drink. He told us that it's deadly and told mother that she is the worst mother and started insulting her. It is not the first time he's doing this, he and her (sometimes) make us feel bad about eating something ("You will get cancer from it", "It's deadly", "You're going to get even more fat"), essentially shaming us for eating the food. We are not rich, we can't afford the "healthy" food and we live in a country that has food standards, we can't die from eating food or drinking a drink.

It was a lime flavoured powder that dissolves in water that you drink. It was a looooooooong time since we drank anything like that. He was very agressive about it and I'm on my second day of period so guess what happened. I got angry and told him what his problem is (we have been eating tasteless food for years because of his "Salt is death" (his words), he's obsessed with nutrients, TikTok recipes, and shoving his opinion on food and politics down everyone's throat) and mother and brother started shouting at me (brother insulted me as well) while he ate his lunch at peace. It's a constant cycle that never stops, he starts drama and threatening abuse, I intervene sick of his behaviour, they insult me, shut me up and it is peaceful until this cycle begins again for YEARS...

It was always like that, but since COVID it's getting worse and worse (there were times I almost k*lled myself from the stress), I have nobody to talk to...

He also almost k*illed us because of toilet paper on brother's 18th birthday, I had a horrible mental breakdown and was laughing and crying the whole time. My mental heath is so horrible that when I'm having a breakdown I start laughing (unfortunately like Joaquin Phoenix's Joker). Therapists are not that trustworthy because the one I had told mother about our sessions (what I said in them) and I stopped trusting them. People are snitches around me ready to tell any secret I have to other people. My trust has been broken so many times...

I'm telling you this because we are moots and you've been so kind to me even though we don't communicate much, however, you liking some of my posts and replying to my comments make my day.

I'm afraid to speak about this publicly (from my account).

I'm very very very very sorry for trauma dumping and grammar mistakes, I don't know what to do anymore, maybe I'm beyond saving, it has been going on for years, I'm tired...

Thank you for listening and if you ever need anything, I'll be there for you. I wish you all the best.

Anon 🐈‍⬛.

ok, first of all sorry that I am replying this so late. i'm glad that we are moots and somehow i help your state. don't be sorry for trauma dumping secondly, man, my mental health is like pretty fucked so i'm not sure what kind of advice you want from someone like me…. I'm like legit…….. not sure what can i propose to you besides what helped me to stay alive I've been abusive myself and I still am sometimes. it's kind of hard for me to talk about jobs and ED specifically, but like im not sure what age are you and what country are you in - i would certainly advice you to contact a specialist, even a local hospital (non commercial idk how it works anywhere outside of Russia). and probably its better to not tell anyone + tell the specialist that you'd rather keep this between you two. I've changed like 6-7 psychiatrists. some were bad, some were better. you just need to learn to trust. not all of them are bad Good prescribed meds can stabilize your brain in order not to fall into negative stuff. + somehow keep your nerveous system safer. which IMO is so important? like…. people usually don't realise how many health issues come from stress. from free stuff - sometimes guided meditations help me to relax and prevent incoming anxiety attacks like I think you should bit by bit build your own strength and overcome your fears. there's no one in the world who will make you do this shit, unfortunately. we live in a world where it's not always rainbows and sunshine, but you've been strong enough to live to this moment. i believe you can achieve your independence from your family. my first job was as a waitress and dude I've barely talked with anyone besides customers. only if it was necessary, all because i had like large anxiety and other stuff. it was hard as fuck, I've had drunk shitty customers who touched me and tried to kiss me, i've had a bartender who raised his voice at me like for smallest inconveniences. i had a cook who kept telling me he's going to r* me with his assistant because he was just dissatisfied with my performance lol. but like…… I've also made a great friends and built some social confidence. push yourself, no one will push you… to be independent is kind of a…. solution if you don't trust anyone. I hope you will find your peace.

[milaswriting]

mila hi i know this is super late but i finally played chapter nine and PLSJSJWISBWIZNZKSHZJ IM SICK IN THE HEAD WHAT WAS THAT 😭😭😭😭😭 IM NEVER BEATING THE WHORE ALLEGATIONS

no cause p’s rooftop scene made me so ill like “which part, the fact that we’re here together or you’re the first person i’ve ever brought here?” ??????? P WHY WOULD SAY THAT TO ME AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL 😭😭😭😭 and at the party when you fix their collar and they hold your hands in placeemsjejdjwkxjwkwjsk 💘💘💘 p top tier ro fr no one’s doing it like them

and the library scene with k “you’re an all right vampire” “you’re an all right human” infhdhdjsbsjs giggling twirling my hair kicking me feet i usually go for the shy flirt options but that was just too good i’m a huge sucker for banters like that 😭😭😭 and when i tell you that as soon as i saw the choice to fix their curls i’ve never picked an option so fast LMFAOOO that is literally my dream interaction with k 🥰🥰 also my heart broke a little when they apologized for the compulsion again :(((

also b being an empath and absorbing emotions….. 💔 i realized i haven’t used kirsten in a b-only playthrough so i did this time and realizing that they both have a tendency to be a people pleaser highkey made me sad 🥲 and not to hc dump but mid to deep friendship stage i think maya would make blaze promise not to absorb her emotions ever again and just let her be sad

but anyway !!!! b not turning around in the necklace scene was so fucking insane of them like “it’s easier and more polite to compliment you when i’m looking at you” ok????? so kiss me????? 🙄 and when they pull mc in for a dance dnejakqKEKAKWKSJSBAKA “is that coupley enough for you?” “you know the answer to that is a yes” B SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPPPPPPP 😣😣😣😣

that said, i think a owned me this chapter KSKDKSKS no cause i legit didn’t know what to expect in the flirt scenes with them. their route def gave more than it was supposed to give 🤭🤭 and maybe i just missed it in the prev chapters but is this also the first time a addressed mc by their first name?? 👀 but yeah i did something right by making loren bold as hell because THE BOLD FLIRT OPTIONS WERE SO SCRUMPTIOUSJSJSNS when you give them a rose and they say you’re the first one to do that and the training room scene when you tell them you wanna get to know their talkative side more and they go “maybe you’ll get lucky” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 “i’ve seen humans go to the grand royalton looking much worse” LIKE A BARE MINIMUM COMPLIMENT GOT ME BLUSHING IM SICK!!!!!!! also when a was like “oh” at the party and mc just goes “oh? OH?” PSLDJSJ THAT WAS FUNNY

also i love zeren sm <333 as soon as she mentioned she knows tristen i made sure all my golden girlies dated him for the extra drama 🤭 but yeah chapter 9 was too good i can’t stop thinking about it hssznjsbwjaj i’m literally so in love with all the ros i can no longer live one more day being single

I’ve read this like 6 times this morning, and I’ve taken screenshots of it so I think that shows how much I love this ask! I really love the fact that you liked chapter 9, and I love getting your reactions to stuff that I write, it genuinely makes my day—I could and will read them like the morning news. Ooo, alongside all your headcanons too!!! I love reading those, they very much change my brain chemistry, like tell me everything single goddamn thing about Loren, Lira, Kirsten and Maya !!!

Alsoo, Zeren was very much a last minute character that was created and I love her, and I’m glad someone else likes her because I personally think she’s a delight <33

But yeahhh, here’s my screaming about you and my ocs, and thanks so much for reading the latest chapter. I hope to bring another one very soon <333

[imaginarianisms]

im& thinking about this &. honestly i dont even think misa's disdain of takada is even Just about light (but that Is a big part of it) & light cheating on her with takada, but it's also the fact that a) takada likely comes from a Very wealthy background to even get in to-oh & b) the fact that takada invited her over to dinner After she Knew that light was engaged w/ misa Knowing they were in a relationship & then proceeding to rub it in her face which is Never a good idea & it's honestly a shitty move & c) takada had everything misa never had that misa's parents wanted for her before they were brutally murdered right in front of her & d) misa suspects that takada looks down on her for her past, specifically as a former sex worker & overall just the way she's. really snobby towards her & treats her like she's lesser than her when, in contrast, misa had to fight for what she had & had to pull herself out of her own hell when no one cared. she became an international superstar on her own hard work, merit & various talents. so when she finds out from matsuda that light's been having an affair with takada, she uh. fucking loses it. not only bc it's a MASSIVE insult, an announcement to all who knew them that she couldn't keep her man satisfied, but specifically Because light chose someone as snobby as her literally just because she supports him as kira, when misa quite literally risked her life & gave up her lifespan TWICE for him & was quite literally tortured by l for THREE DAYS when most people would've given him up on the very first day & no matter how much she loves that man, there's only so many times she can be insulted & humiliated, she NEVER broke one promise & yet he chose her instead. & she's still angry & upset with light for it bc the affair was canonically a year before light & misa both died & that wound is still very fresh for her, ESPECIALLY when she finds out that light told kiyomi that she would be his queen & goddess of the new world when. misa was with light for SIX YEARS. & light handed that to her on a silver platter. misa NEVER had that. that INFURIATED her. & it reminds her of all the times she's congratulated him, all her love and patience, all her admiration, all the times she's waited & how unappreciated she really feels & how she makes it all look painless in the public eye. & honestly i think a part of her borderline hated light for that. but from that borderline hate came from love: i loved you first. she's. deeply hurting from that & she doesn't really have anyone to talk to about it. misa probably had a bpd breakdown but refused to show it & as time passed she started to shut herself off & she stopped eating & sleeping for a while & she's gonna be revaluating literally everything about that relationship & legit turn into a CIA agent. straight up amy dunne "gone girl" type shit. & honestly things wouldn't be the same.

[subskz]

alr strap up IN ladies nd gays grindset live reaction to bb4 REAL (⬅️ pretending like the warnings aint got me quaking in my boots)

THE TWIN FLAMES CONVO I AM GIGGLING ND KICKING MY FEET DAWG THEY ARE SAUR CUTE I’M SICK,,, got me feelin delusional fr like yes chanathan nd i are soulmates thx for asking 😏 “do you like your reflection?” ”for once i do” SHUT THE FAWK UPPP I’LL CRY YOU THINK IGAF?!?!

hol up another #ourgeniusgrindset moment,,, a bitch just realized this goes back to bb1 THE FUCKEN PART WHERE Y/N TELLS CHANNIE TO PUT A FLAME BY HER CONTACT IN THE LIBRARY?!?! THE FUCKEN FORESHADOWING?!?!? MISSUS RIN YOU ARE INSANE FOR THIS ONE LITERALLY GOT ME FEELING LIKE THIS CONNECTING THE DAWTS

i loved that whole ass bowling scene like legit i would read 500k words of just y/n and hyungline fucking around THEY ARE SAUR SPECIAL TO ME 🥹🫶🏽 BUT LEE KNOW’S ANNOYING ASS PROVOKING,,, i’m glad y/n is losing patience wit him like mf i will show you a temper 🤣 nd changbinnie once again slaying as the best damn character in this fic i love him saur moch ngl it kinda makes me soft tht he still cares so much about y/n’s feelings even tho minho is his close bestie

OK IM BOUTTA DIVE BACK IN SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE QUEENIE

HERE WE GO!! please step up to the podium and never leave my dearest grindset hehe you know i love reading ur feedback like the finest literature!

they are so disgustingly in love aren’t they…thank you for supporting all the lovey dovey nonsense that ensues between channie and the reader HAHA i simply can’t help myself…them being twin flames gives me the perfect excuse for them to be this corny 🥰 I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CAUGHT THAT DETAIL…our genius grindset indeed omg ur mind is sharp as ever! yes i wanted to include lil hints of them being twin flames all throughout the story but i thought it’d be more fun if it wasn’t acknowledged until the end hehe…and thermodynamics + the emphasis on temperature was the opportunity for that >:) it seriously warms my heart that u noticed smth as small as that!

that’s so sweet of you to say 😭 u know i love my hyung line boys don’t test me i might just actually do it! i’m really happy you enjoy the scenes w them they’re lots of fun to write! BINNIE <333 truly our best boy and the reader’s lifeline…now that bb is complete it’s safe to say i had the best time writing him throughout the story! and yes! as much as bin loves lino he also has a lot of love for the reader that she underestimates ㅠ

judging by where you’ve left off things are abt to get a lil bumpy out there…i wish u the best of luck w the rest of pt.4 babe ♡

[totheblood]

STARRRR I JUST SAW YOUR FOLLOW BACK AND IM 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

i hope im not too weird or annoying when i say this, but i have read every single fic of yours, and did not want to spam like or annoy you on your notifs but

you are so skilled at writing, especially ellie, you have such beautiful prose and i- just am in love with your ellie, to be honest your ellie made me write her, i had been lurking for a while, but your writing ENGRAVED ellie in my head, i swear she is so real to me!!!! i started making my own scenarios off her, so i started to write them! but i would have never written anything without you, and i thank you immensely.

anyway i could sing your praises forever, and tell you how i am on the edge of my seat to know wtf with your new series. but i was giggling and blushing with true blue!!!! and your one shots 😫😫😫😫😫 all your headcanons and GOD DAMN YOUR AUDIOS JESUS I AM OBSESSED OBSESSED

n m sorry for just lurking i am just using all my courage to send this to you, and i hope i do not come off annoying but when i say i love your writing so fucking much, i come back some nights and just re read i mean that, and i want to tell you that so you knew that even though i wasnt consistently in your notifs, i was to scared too be annoying but yes, your writing is so sacred to me and i am now rambling and will shut up now but ily

- cotton

cotton, oh my god???? (i love the name cotton it's so cute just had to let you know) this is not annoying at all or in the slightest like... this just means the most to me overall but no not weird or annoying at ALL!

thank you thank you thank you!!! i get so insecure about my writing or how i am writing ellie that this really just made me feel like more confident if that makes sense?? i also think its cause ellie is real to me like... in my head she's here and we are laughing but i am also concerned im just a different level of delusional.

i wish i could say thank you enough till my face turns blue and i pass out but this is so appreciated, this message legit almost made me cry. i saw your blog a few days ago and had bookmarked one of your fics to read cause it looked so interesting and your blog is just so beautiful and organized and i had to follow so i am also a big fan of you!

thank you for lurking and reading and sending this and stopping by and i hope this is a start of a very cool friendship <3

[tragically-jane-doe]

I'll never be able to acutely explain how lovely and disappointing it was that I figured out who the fuck killed Luke with in the 1st few episode chapter thing anyways me screaming about who dun did it in read more thing a ma bob so like

SPOLIERS for the book

Murder in the family

IVE SEEN TO MANY CRIME SHOWS AND HAVE ZERO FAITH IN KIDS LIKE HOLY FUCK NO ONE THOUGHT TO LOOK INTO THE KIDS A BIT MORE AT THE TIME LIKE CMON YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THAT GUY HEARD NOTHING WHEN HIS STEP FATHER WAS KILLED MR I WAS 10!!!!

Anyway it was repeated so fucking much guy was only 10 guy was the only one at home like c'mon baby please hear me out kids can be fucked up

But like so disappointing cause I got reced this book offa tiktok and like the ppl who read it said they didn't see it coming and I was so fucking excited for that I was ready to take fucking notes my dude I did I took notes for all of 3 chapters and they did nothing for me because of one simple line that cemented that one of those fucking kids did it

Guy "then you called 999"

Maura HESITATES then nods

Like okay why you hesitating baby why your obvs disturbed bout something it's a very known thing that family usually protects family I doubt you'd be doing this for ur mama

But like I understand her I would probably not cover for my sibling but I understand also low-key love how Maura covered for Amelia and Amelia covered for Guy those fucking kids are nutters

POOR FUCKING AMELIA BTW she legit saw guy do it and proceeded to shut the fuck up about it and then 20 YEARS LATER that mother fuckin boy is bout to air the shit like damn also I saw her I saw her little why don't we air his shit text like girl ffs you would have ended that show so fast if you did

And on a different note in one of the reddit bits this chemical thing gets brought up that can make it look like you've had a heart attack I for sure thought they would tie that shit in with Andrew later on like damn you had my ass but also could've tied it in with guy cause u know the last bit

And maybe a tiny bit it was maybe lazy to do that final meeting like c'mon

I also hope Mitch goes to prison which probs he didn't cause time limits and such which actually I'm not sure if London has that like america does and also on the fact that it was statutory so whooo knows but I know I wanted to smack a bitch like how dare how dare you say oh she was sophisticated motherfucker girlie pop was 15 I don't care if she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth she was 15 and you sir were 21 stop referring to yourself as a kid stop it please

ALSO I LOWKEY HATE HOW BILL KNEW A BUNCH OF SHIT B4HAND it kinda ruined the fun for me but the twisty bit of Luke being Eric and Eric being Jonah was neat I'll give them that

Also fuck Nick just fuck him

A film genius though like damn I actually wanted to see the show and had to remind myself it didn't exist

Imagine how fucking insane it would be if it did it would be so fucking huge (if there is a show like this that's real not like fiction I would eat that shit up) but also I have issues with how true crime media is most of the time cause some of it is a bit dick sucking towards the bad dude which in turn has mentally ill women/girls be also very very dick sucking towards the fucking murderer but also some of it is just fucking gross towards to victims

ANYWAYS IM CONFUSED ON HOW TO FEEL ABOUT GUY AND THAT FUCKING SUCKS BECAUSE LALIA EXPLAINED HOW IN THEORY IT HAPPENED BUT LIKE FFS HE WAS A KID AT THE TIME BUT THEN AGAIN HE BASHED THE SHIT OUTTA LUKE

Also for any of the mentally ill bitchs like moi that's watched criminal minds a million and one times my faith in kids was killed off in the ian Gallagher episode and I refuse to ever watch it again it makes my skin crawl

[midnighteloquence]

watashi wa jisatsu shitaidesu

ignore whatever that means its a /nsrs

anyways! lets talk about why i no longer like friend d!

so im gonna split this rant into TWO PARTS!

Part A: things ive noticed myself/seen first hand

okay number one! they said that theyre diagnosed with bipolar, which THEY ARENT. first off, diagnosis are expensive asf no matter what youre trying to diagnose and im not being mean at all but just saying theyre on the free lunches plan soo, two diagnosis takes agessss and they just so happen to suddenly have one??

number two, theyll shit talk like everyone. i only started noticing recently that most of what comes out of their mouth is shit talk. and its fine if you have a lot to say about shitty people but then you immediately talk to them again as if you didnt just say you want to curb stomp them?? it gets confusing and ngl is really bitchy

number three! milked tf out of the fact that one of their friends said they might be autistic. which no. autism isnt something you should milk for attention!! and like the only symptoms they have are the depressive ones which USUALLY should lead you to believe that maybe you just have depression? idk im not a psychologist

on that note, they want to be a psychologist, yet doesnt understand why people act the way they do (like theyll shittalk people for things they cant fucking control) and also has rheir own problems? this would most likely be even more self destructive right? to have to solve others mental health before your own? idk im just thinking

also also they seem to care more about getting into relationships (AT THE AGE THEYRE AT) than grades which uh. yes i am literally on my knees yearning for a relationship but also at least im actually doing school and excelling academically ✌️

plus dont you gotta do good at school to be a psychologist?? thats like a really hard subject

Part B: things ive been told

this part is where it gets more blurry, since some isnt backed up (but most is dw!)

they dated C two years ago and used to do freaky shi to them at the back of the bus (make out, cuddle, touch thighs, etc), which a friend of ours i’ll call F saw first hand! um ew.

they trauma dumped on C first things first which uh

C and F would sit with each other a lot and talk alotttt because theyre both neurodivergent and nd people tend to go well and D got all pissy and like “me when my friends leave me out..” and so to shut them up (shut me up? by msi?) F told them that they might be autistic and they started milking tf out of it

told a bunch of people that C sa’d them which C did not! also told F that C’s sa story was fake and that C mentally and physically abused them (there are screenshot proof of D saying this btw!)

told people that im not autistic and that im faking it because im self diagnosed which THEY LITERALLY ARE + IVE DONE COUNTLESS HOURS OF RESEARCH ON AUTISM LEAVE ME ALONE

something ive noticed but isnt it weird that all their relationships lasted only a couple months? kinda says something

would manipulate people into taking their side by saying “oh dw its my fault not theirs!”

on that note their recent partner broke up with them AND GAVE A WHOLE ASS GOOGLE DOC ABOUT WHY WITH AMAZING EXPLANATIONS + SAYS A THOUSAND TIMES THAT IT ISNT THEIR FAULT, but C twisted it to make them the bad guy which tf he has the best moral compass of everyone ik stfu

jokes alot about substance abuse (which they do btw) but it just gets like “what am i supposed to say?”

ON THAT NOTE OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY they texted F that they tried killing themselves and F responded with an “oh” because tf are rhey supposed to say to that?? (F told me that they were literally crying when they saw that)

was a terrible friend to F, F noticed and cut off ties (good for them!! They have so much courage because i could legit never i love them for that 💪💪) and then they proceeded to send a lengthy apology which was all bs btw!

ive been told that they faked their trauma, substance abuse, and their eating disorders, but tbh im not sure if that’s true or not (considering ive seen texts theyve gotten from their mum about eating)

minor but they say theyre goth but dont even listen to the music which is the whole point! and also doesnt follow the political opinions of goth!

(did the same with punk, btw!)

not sure if true or if C said this to save their own ass but apparently D got C to shit talk me (i talked about in an earlier rant) which errr…

Secret Part C: small details

this section is in bullet points!

insulted F “jokingly” to the point they had huge gender dysphoria

thought F had a crush on their bf (at the time) when F’s literally a lesbian

not only a pathological liar but a inconsistent one!

okay this is kinda hypocritical but they follow sh blogs that show cvts

+ says the cuts are cute (which is something i dont do. i actually dont even follow them but from time to time i’ll scroll through and want to vomit /nav)

literally gave me a step by step tutorial on how to purge

not lying!

complained about their bf not kissing them in public (which is something you talk to your bf about not me! + boundaries fucking exist?)

very minor but alot of the stuff they like its mostly because it got popular on tt

will say shit like “ive only been catcalled like three times in this outfit!” which no ew + gave me a massive insecurity that im not pretty enough! choose your words wisely!

so to sum it all up theyre a terrible human being and im glad i dont talk to them anymore! thanks for reading this lengthy post!

[im-always-the-problem-its-me]

i don't know what the fuck just happened

i somehow managed to fuck up SO's birthday and feel awful. ive gotta make a big drive tomorrow night and have to fuck up my sleep schedule on purpose and with how emotionally exhausting this whole day was it's that much more difficult.

i legit started rambling, feeling very 'i'm a piece of shit, what do you want..let's make jokes about how fucked up i am while i detach emotionally when you have a breakdown' like roman fucking roy and then i even said 'i'm roman fucking roy, i don't know what you want from me'.

here's what i think happened: nutshell version because being vague is safer and i'm also tired.

SO has been depressed. i can't do shit about it. i have a bad habit when i'm overwhelmed with my own shit to be like 'let's try to just be super happy and pretend his breakdown isn't happening because i can't handle men crying on the floor because i'm used to men getting angry, yelling or worse...hitting me.' so i avoid. it's a symptom of complex PTSD apparently and also i think ptsd doesn't accurately describe what i have anymore because nothing is 'post'. this shit is happening right now and im constantly triggered because i figured out i'm still being abused and emotionally manipulated by my parents as an adult and i don't know wtf to do about it. i think im going to need therapy again. SO says he thinks he wants to go see one again too.

there's nothing wrong with our relationship. it's individually, we're both fucked up. it doesn't help i have this 'not really, but kind of' a side thing but it's not affecting things here. (im still a piece of shit because if anything its kind of an emotional affair...i dont know...feelings are fine...if i act on them then that's different...this is an old flame too and we're close, always have been...it's just an intense friendship bordering upon dangerous with flirtations but THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE)

'you never shut up' SO said to me out of anger. broke down after he said it even though i agreed even though it stung. i told him don't worry about it. it was true. i need to to not put all my shit on him. that's why i suggested therapy again.

i explained that i don't feel mad or upset by anything that happened tonight..just feel bad because yes he called me out on being emotionally detached and i have been lately because im a fucking mess. i also tend to run from everything so i even told him fuck it, we can move back because it's fine me being a mess but since he's the breadwinner, when he falls apart it's bad for both of us. i'm already on benefits because of epilepsy that's intractible. nothing I can do about that. but he needs to be ok.

he keeps looking at me like i'm nuts but dude, i've been running my whole life. i wanted to settle and stay here forever and i love this place more than any place i have ever lived but look i'm still sick here and i got issues popping up like god hates me.

i'm not even roman roy. i think because i detached instead of wearing it on my face or crying like kendall. maybe i'm a mix of both. i dunno. that show speaks to me on so many levels. i rewatched Hannibal too and i'm just like wtf. then i picked my favorite mommy issues movies to put on.

here's what i know happened: two people who love each other very much aren't doing well mentally but their relationship isn't what's making the other fucked up. it's everything else they have never dealt with making them individually fucked up and tonight it blew up. bad timing. neither of us could help each other. he got rightfully pissed. i am not upset he got pissed and the one thing he said out of anger was a very true fucking statement that put a big mirror in front of my face.

i realized too that i cannot handle a man having a breakdown. he asked why i always just walk away from him when hes like that? well because i don't know what to do with it and also what if it turns into something else and the man is going nuts on me or taking it out on me? i don't know. i'm very fucked up.

i hate victim mentality bullshit. i try not to put stuff on anyone. so i sweep it away like it's not fucking happening and i got called out on that. i don't know how to be there for him. i can't help it i have ingrained weird ideas. i try just not to be a cunt ok? and i don't know maybe i was one tonight? i don't even know. i apologized for getting loud when i did because i had my earplugs in so didn't realize how loud i was and i also hadn't eaten all day and it was making me hangry so my brain couldn't even process anything until after i ate.

a man shaking and crying on the floor because of me? (or what i perceived as being about me?) all i thought was get away from him because you're hurting him and nothing you do is going to make it better...and then it was like i felt like my mom. that's what she did. no comfort for the crying ones...just walk away until it's over. but i'm not his mommy. i'm his SO. he even said 'i don't want you to baby me or anything, just a little comfort would be nice.' he's right. but again, why are you crying in the first place? i'm selfish so i'm thinking 'wtf i'm a mess...now i have to wonder why you're a mess...wtf' and jfc no....i don't know what the fuck happened.

we need to both get some help with our issues somehow or we're not going to make it if repeats like this keep happening. i can't even call it a fight. it was more just a collective breakdown. he went to bed red eyed and mumbling. i'm up exhausted but numb af.

fucking a.

it's good i'll be gone for a day. give us both some time away just to think. well, he'll be able to anyway, ill be cramped in a car with 7 other people for 18 hours. not that i'm complaining. i've gotta do this to help out with bills and plus now i've got an obligation because my mother keeps putting shit on me and didn't even give me a chance to say no and if i don't make this trip a lot of people are out of money so im basically unable to back out even if wanted to. fuck it. i think i'll finally be able to chill next year. i'm going to make myself anyway. get through holidays. have a good time on our concert trip in january. hopefully by them my SO and i are in better places mentally too.

one hour at a time.

[lollytea]

Such a short time but they showed everyone with a lot of cute outfit im so normal about it

Whats your top 3 looks from this panel?

Willow with the skates is my top 1

YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT THE OUTFITS

At least all the outfits worth mentioning. God I LOVE THEM!! I love all the outfits so much!! Not one of them missed!! Let's GOOO

Let's start with Amity because OH MY GOD SHES SO PRETTY

This dress!! The dark purple!! Her adorable little hairband!!! Also you can't see in this image I have but she has the cutest pair of boots too. Amity is DRESSING this season

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!! I KNEW IT!!! HOT TOPIC AMITY I MANIFESTED THIS!!!! TRUE EMO WITCH IM OBSESSED!!!! LUZ'S GOTH GF!!! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS LOOK IS MAKING ME LOSE IT BUT THE PLATFORM BOOTS OH MY GOD!!!!!

I should also mention that I'm so endeared with Luz's t-shirt, jeans, fanny pack and cap outfit. It's giving Dipper Pines a little. Huge fan. And god I know we've all mentioned it but I LOVE her curls. The curls just make Luz look a million times better.

ALSO!!!

THEY HAVE MATCHING JAMMIES!!! EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LOOK AT LUMITY MATCHING JAMMIES!!!

ANYWAY GUS IS NEXT

Will use my pic of Bi Pride Gus because nothing sparks more joy than looking at it. So glad Gus gets to wave his flags again. ANYWAY this look is just SO....its boy. This is boy. This is really cool thirteen year old boy look. The long sleeve and short sleeve shirt combo. (I think that's either a giraffe or a llama on it.) The jeans, the shoes, the hoodie around the waist. This is THE coolest dude in middle school.

BUT THIS!!!!! THIS FUCKING DRIP!!!!! HE IS OUT OF CONTROL SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!!!! I can't believe what a genuine fashion icon Gus is like oh my god. Actually I've decided that he's helping to pick out everyone else's fits and thats why they look so good. You can't change my mind.

Now my baby girl

THIS!!!! Such a cute and summery look. She is PRECIOUS!!! The pink and the green, the little flower in her hair. I was manifesting a cute Willow fit in season 3 just yesterday and they came through!!! Idk I can't get over how adorable this is. It's so simple and so lovely.

Honorary mention goes to her bumblebee pajama shirt. Not much to say but she's cute and I love her

BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!! ROLLER DERBY, I THINK WILLOW HAS LEGIT DISCOVERED ROLLER DERBY AND IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THAT!!! Never would have predicted Willow in a Mabel Pines type shirt but that little top looks great on her

OK it won't let me use that much pics for one post....I'll reblog this in a sec and discuss...Him

[nightowlfandom]

Kanato Sakamaki- I’m Sadistic For You

FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTS DIABOLIK LOVERS CONTENT AAAAHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! I GOT YOUR OTHER ONE AND I’M DOING IT TOO!  

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

So ANON ASKS

For Kanato from DL ( I haven’t seen much done for him and it makes me sad because he’s a favorite ). (: I could Lowkey do some more if you’re not super bogged down I had another idea BUT I ALREADY SUBMITED ANOTHER BEFORE THIS SO IM NOT GONNA OVERWHELM YOU LOL but- anyway Fee free to be as nsfw with my prompts (if you do them) as you want. I dont have any triggers so- writing them super accurate and sadistic won’t bother me :3

Bruh....Jesus is my helmet...but NOT TODAY let’s fucking go! Okay readers, you heard, they aint got no triggers. So if you do...move it along.

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

Also in this you and Yui are BFFs because she isn’t some cold hearted bitch (homegirl trips over oxygen, plus I love her lol)

I was legit about to have him spit in your mouth....I’m so shameful...maybe next time.

Leggo!

I’m turning into a Yandere account and I am totally okay with that.

...

“You know living here isn’t that bad.” you mused to Yui. “When no one is talking.”

Your friend laughed as she cut up some carrots. Yui turned to look at you as she prepare to peel some potatoes. “So living here is terrible every day other than right now?” she replied.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong. 

You and Yui were making dinner for the house. After a ambush that landed everyone injured except you and her (thankfully). You had offered to make soup and stew for everyone. They were all in their respective rooms healing while you had prepared everything.

“They really fought hard today, I thought Kanato was about to rip that vampires jaw off. He’s really protective of you, Y/N.” she winked. “I think he likes you more than he lets on.” 

Kanato and you had a very strange relationship. He hated you, but he didn’t HATE you. No one could lay a finger on you, no one could even look at you, even if he said he didn’t care. Reiji tried to and Kanato almost murdered him.

“He then told me that Teddy said I was ugly.” you reminded her flatly. “Yeah he so cares.” you snorted.

“Maybe he has trouble telling you his feelings”

“I wish everyone was as optimistic as you.” you shook your head. “Looks like the soup is finished.” 

“I’m just saying Y/N, just think about it.”

...

You only had one bowl of soup left to deliver, to Kanato’s room. You grumbled as you stood outside the door. 

“Kanato? It’s me.” you knocked on the door. “I’m coming in okay?” 

Before you could wait for an answer you opened the door and walked in with the cart. 

Kanato was laying on his bed when you entered, groaning in what you assumed was boredom.

“Teddy, tell Y/N that I don’t want whatever she made.” Kanato turned away from you. The scars he had suffered on his back said it all. All for you...

Your recalled the terror in your voice as you had screamed for help as the rogue vampire wrapped his claws around your leg. Kanato’s name was the first to escape your lips as you had tried to crawl away to Yui. You remembered reaching out to Kanato with your strongest hand, begging him to save you.

The look in his eyes was feral as he screamed your name too, grabbing you hand and pulling you to him. You were sobbing into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life for a good ten seconds before Yui replaced him, hugging you tightly in her small arms too. Before you knew it, the rogue’s head had been thrown through a window...

...

“Y/N, Look at me! You’re safe now...you’re safe with me...”

...

“Teddy, could you please tell Kanato that while his pouting is very adorable, it won’t get him out of this?”

“Don’t call me cute! You can’t do that.” Kanato glared at you through hooded eyes. “If I wasn’t so weak I’d-”

“Well let me take care of you.” you cut him off, taking the bowl to him. “For me?”

Kanato paused, his glare softening. 

“You must be in love with me if you’re so insistent on me getting better.” he grumbled, sitting up. “Y/N is in love with me Teddy!”

“Kanato.” you felt your face heat up violently. “Don’t say things like that.” you groaned.

“It’s blushing teddy, how cute!”

Kanato’s use of the word ‘it’ wasn’t new to you. In fact when he wasn’t calling you names, chasing you around with forks pretending to stab you, or worse, it was denoting you to objects.

“H-hey! I am not blushing!” you pouted. “My face just looks that way.” you lied. “S-shut up.” you grumbled.

“And what if I don’t feel like it?” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t say a word back. You were kind of like Yui. You wouldn’t dare challenge any of the Sakamaki brothers. It was a death sentence in every sense of the word.

“Kanato, I just want you to feel better.” you looked down at your feet. 

“There’s one thing you can do.” Kanato used his strength to stand to his feet. Despite his looks, he was tall, and under that cute exterior was a mean and feral beast. He staggered over to you, a sick smile on his face. That couldn’t be good, not by a long shot. 

“And what exactly would that be?” you asked. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t wanna know what he was planning. You were positive that it wasn’t gonna end well either. 

“Get on your knees.”

“My knees?” you repeated. “Why do you want me to-”

“Now Y/N.” he spoke over you. You felt his hand on your shoulder. “I don’t like repeating myself.” his nails dug into your skin, causing your knees to wobble under the pain. “On. Your. Knees!”

Your feet gave out, practically sending you crashing down to the floor. You looked like a dog, on your hands and knees. You appeared weak and pathetic.

You found it in yourself to look up at Kanato. Teddy was perched on the bed, ‘watching’ you two. You felt his fingertips creep under your chin. 

“Aww...” he smiled. “You’re like a little...What’s the word I’m looking for...PET!. It’s cute.” He caressed the side of your face. “Too bad I kill all my pets...they can’t handle me...can you handle me, Pet?”

“Yes, Kanato.” you found yourself saying. You felt like you didn’t have a choice...

and you loved every second of it.

“Bullying you has made me regain my strength! Isn’t this wonderful?” he wrapped one of his hands around your neck. “You’re so fun to torment” he laughed.

“K-kanato.” you coughed.

“Is it hard to breath. Y/N?” he asked sinisterly, that crazed smile gracing his lips. His words were terrifying although his actions said otherwise. He loosened his grip on your throat, allowing air to flow more freely. It was those small things that made you think he didn’t hate you as much as he loved to preach.

“Y/N...when that vampire came...I thought I was gonna lose you for good this time” he said sadly, allowing his arm to return to his side. “I thought I had-...that you were gonna die.” 

“You saved me though.” you replied. Kanato knelt down to your level, still slightly above you. 

“Yeah...because if anyone is gonna break you, it’s gonna be me.”

“I care about you a lot, Kanato.” you finally said it. “I like you too much.” you exposed yourself. “I want you stay by your side.” you said pathetically. “Even if you hate me.”

Before you could say another word, Kanato claimed your lips in a kiss. He held the sides of your face in his hands. It was the first time he had ever kissed you. He hummed thoughtfully, pushing you down to the floor so you were laying on your back. He crawled over you, not breaking the kiss. 

“K-kanato.” you whimpered.

“You need to be taught a lesson. If your gonna be my girlfri- I mean pet, you’ll have to learn.” he kissed down your neck.

Suddenly, Kanato ripped the seam of your jeans all the way up your left leg, leaving it completely exposed to the air.

“Oh look, your clothes are messed up, guess we’ll have to take them off.” he smirked. In another swift motion, your pants were torn to shreds. The fabric fell in a circle around you both.

“Teddy look! Y/N is wearing such cute panties.” he cackled maniacally. “Her naughty place is leaking.”

You trembled, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was planning.

“I heard blood tastes better when it’s from your naughty place.” he ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth. “Y/N” he moaned, running his index finger along your clothed heat. “You smelled so much better here...I just want to- ungh.”

He suddenly drove his fangs into your right thigh. You gasped, arching your back. He violently grabbed your legs, holding them down. His tongue lashed against your freshly made wound. 

You could hear him whimpering, cursing under his breath. 

Kanato would deny it with his life, but everything about you was like a drug to you. Tasting your blood was even sweeter than every dessert he’s ever tasted. Feeling you whimper and plea for him did things to him that would make a sailor blush. 

Forget Yui, forget his brothers, forget it all.

“Fuh-” Kanato couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stop himself from ripping off your panties and driving his tongue into your most sensitive parts. Hearing you moan for him, cry for him. 

The rumors were right, vampires were godly lovers. It was like Kanato knew what you wanted and where. He lashed his tongue against your heat, grabbing your legs. 

“Wrap your legs around my head,” he demanded. “Not like it’s gonna kill me.” he laughed manically. “

Knock knock

“Y/N, are you in there?” Yui’s small voice caused you to panic a little. As you tried to get up, Kanato pushed you right back down, growling into your pussy,

“FUCK!” you whined, making it very obvious what you two were up to. “Kanato, I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” he grunted, not ceasing his movements. “Cum, cum for me.”

“K-KAANAAA!” you cried as you came. You thrashed and writhed under his touch, but he didn’t stop. His tongue never stopped moving. “fuh- fuck! Kanato, t-too much!”

“I said cum for me, I didn’t say I’d stop.” he thrust his fingers into you to add insult to injury. “You’re so fun to fuck with!” he spat.

“Kanato!” you sobbed. You couldn’t stop moving, you couldn’t stop thrashing. Th epleasure had gotten to you so much, you were drooling.

He finally withdrew his mouth from you, smiling evilly at the mess he left.

Kanato had grabbed one of his ties that had left on the floor and bound your wrists together.

“You look so inviting tied up for me...” he shuddered as he bit his lip. He licked his fingers clean of your blood and juices. “Good thing the night is young...because I’m not done with you.”

...

[gaywiththesauce]

I ran out of tags (again) you can listen to me ramble here! Prepare!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rose broke me legit. READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT AND READ PART ONE! If you're looking for some good fucking angst and good boy Kyojuro and sweet Giyuu and a lot of angst and have I mentioned angst? That hurt/comfort greatness.

moving on, i need to keyboard mash some more...

the beginning flashback to a more intimate time is just so good. no words. GIYUU"S SILENCE IS SO LOUD

kyo complimenting his 11th form... so in character it hurts

and giyuu just,, "of course I needed to protect you you're better than me" UGH IM SMACKING MY DESK

"To Giyuu, his actions made perfect sense. Kyojuro was obviously the superior Hashira. He felt it only natural to protect the greater asset to the demon slayer corps, even if it meant putting his life on the line."

BITCH

THE fUCK

I love this depressed man so much

HIS TEASING BACK AND KYO"S "you always know how to make me laugh" GHSKSNDFSGFRSIUJHFJKRSG

okok ive been writing for twenty minutes i need to stop

but moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

like the flowers and gifts! i actually laughed at seeing the candy because of course he would be getting food its Kyojuro

and Giyuu changing his bandages awwwww

out of order now but Tanjiro just "He hasn't left!" and Giyuu's blush first made me think that he didn't shower or anything. just stinky man worried sick over his pining boyfriend

do not get me started on senjuro i will not shut up

......

Giyuu and Shinobu had to hold Kyo down, who doesnt have an eye and has decreased function in one of his legs?????? slay

screaming

okok but im talking about the fact that Kyojuro doesn't know what's going to happen next. He asks Giyuu what's going to happen, probably knowing that his Boyfriend doesn't know either. His whole world is flipped on his head, believing that his life was only prolonged because his worthy death has yet to come. It feels like he was just waiting to die, knowing that it would be a day that would come and go like the rest.

But Giyuu is completely AGAINST that idea, and is the reason he changes his view from thinking of a worthy and rightful death to living a good life.

Giyuu talks about Sabito, who he's never brought up before

(and the way he did CPR on Sabito???? that's painful, Rose. That's all sorts of angst pain don't make me imagine that! when he died like that????????????AUFIDKSGDNS)

and shkg

i cant go on any longer my brain is mush

my stupidity for them is taking over my whole brain

Fin.

As the World Caves In, pt II

Pairings: Rengiyuu (Rengoku x Giyuu) Words: 5.4k (7.8k total) Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Everybody Lives AU Warnings: (full fic) Graphic depictions of canon-typical violence, medical procedures, blood, bodily injury

If you let him live, I’ll tell him everything, I swear. 

It was now or ever. And now he’d gotten so close to never, closer than he’d ever thought he’d get in all his wildest nightmares, that the unbridled fear of it now carried the words unspoken up his windpipe, threatening to burst. 

“K-Kyojuro,” Giyuu began. And Kyojuro looked at him with those stunning, earnest eyes--eye--and Giyuu’s next words fell from his mouth in a huff. “Damn it,”

This is part 2/2. Read the previous part here!

You can also read the full fic on AO3!!

“You ought to be more careful, my friend!” Kyojuro chided as he unbuttoned Giyuu’s uniform. “Look, you’ve ruined another uniform shirt!” He was referring to the large slash on the shoulder of Giyuu’s uniform, courtesy of the demon they’d just taken down together. Though they’d only known each other a few months at that point, Giyuu had learned that Kyojuro apparently preferred to dress his wounds himself despite Giyuu being fully capable, and he knew Kyojuro better than to try to argue. 

He said nothing while Kyojuro frowned at his bare and bloody chest, appraising the long but superficial wound that spanned across his pale skin, coming to a stop at the hollow of his throat. He did tilt his head slightly back to allow Kyojuro to inspect the full extent of the wound, his quiet way of thanking him. Kyojuro hummed to himself. His golden eyes suddenly flicked from Giyuu’s wound to his face, stealing away Giyuu’s breath in a surprised huff. 

“Does this hurt?” he asked, abruptly serious. Giyuu shook his head. Rengoku had a habit of making him lose his train of thought when he looked at him like that. “You shouldn’t have jumped in front of me. I would have been alright!”

Giyuu stared at him. The demon they’d been fighting had prepared one vicious strike right after another, while Rengoku had been finding his footing from the previous. Rather than allow the strike to land on the Flame Hashira, Giyuu had stepped in with dead calm, both sparing Kyojuro from the attack and causing it to fall on himself. 

To Giyuu, his actions made perfect sense. Kyojuro was obviously the superior Hashira. He felt it only natural to protect the greater asset to the demon slayer corps, even if it meant putting his life on the line. 

Kyojuro raised an eyebrow and cracked a small grin. “I know that look.” He said. It was the look Giyuu did when he was about to try to argue with him on something: brows slightly furrowed, gaze steady with heavy lids, lips parted. Realizing he was caught, Giyuu relaxed into a half smile and allowed Kyojuro to gently dab dirt and debris away from his wound. 

“You may be reckless,” Kyojuro began, “But I have to admit, that eleventh form is incredible! How on earth did you learn something like that? Ah, I bet I could practice for a hundred years and never even get close!” His gaze now focused on Giyuu’s wound, he didn’t notice how bright pink his friend’s face had become. Kyojuro spoke highly of everyone, but praise of his swordsmanship coming from someone as incredible as him was still a high compliment. 

Kyojuro continued. “Such fantastic work, I’m truly lucky to be on your good side!” He laughed and patted Giyuu’s chest with one hand and retrieved a first aid kit with a suture needle with the other. His hand was rough but warm against Giyuu’s permanently cold skin. 

“For now.” Giyuu joked back. Kyojuro blinked once, surprised and a little disbelieving that Giyuu had actually cracked a joke, but after noticing the tiny upward tilt of his lips, smiled even wider and laughed even harder. 

“I’d better toe the line then! Otherwise I’ll be the one needing stitches!” He laughed at his own joke while stitching his wound and Giyuu actually smiled along. Few could melt through his icy silences like Kyojuro could. Few understood what he was trying to say even when he was silent like Kyojuro did. “Ah, you always know how to make me laugh.” Kyojuro added with a sigh that made Giyuu’s heart ache. 

Kyojuro’s half-open eyes saw white, made hazy by tears clinging to his dark lashes. White drifted above him, and for a moment he drifted with it, unaware that he was even conscious, just floating. Once his mind returned to him he tried to blink to dispel the haze but found himself unable, paralyzed, flat on his back and floating through nothingness. For a few moments he believed himself to be dead. Until the pain struck him. 

He considered himself no stranger to pain, but this was unlike anything else. His entire body felt shattered. Even something as simple as breathing was a battle, as if his lungs and the walls of his chest themselves were locked in combat against one another. If he was indeed dead, this must be hell. 

He thought so, until he heard a distant voice reaching to him from beyond the endless white oblivion around him. There were gentle hands on him, as if bringing him out of the haze and back into reality. 

Someone was cradling the back of his head, tilting it slightly upward as they removed bandages from the left side of his face. The light changed slightly as they did so, though nothing came into focus. Fingers brushed lightly over his left eye. Whoever the hands belonged to, whoever was nursing him, sighed. 

The bandages were replaced. A warm rag brushed against the aching skin of his arms. A hand rested lightly against his chest, directly over his heart, feeling it beating steadily. Kyojuro still couldn’t move or speak but whoever was tending to him apparently didn’t mind. The voice was silent while they worked but the silence was as gentle as their hands. That silence, its softness, the coolness of the hands on his body reminded him of something…

The haze slowly began to lift, as if his nurse’s gentle tending was pulling him back up out of the nothingness and into reality. As his mind cleared he groped for anything to anchor him back to the present; he remembered a cold wind, a column of flames. 

“Another letter from Tanjiro today.” His nurse said quietly over the rustle of papers. “And…one from Uzui.” 

Kyojuro would have leapt out of bed, if he could move. The kids! The train! The upper rank! I’ve got to get back there!  Kyojuro wanted to reach out, tell the speaker I don’t care about a bunch of letters when Tanjiro and the others could be in danger— 

A letter from Tanjiro? He’s alright?

“Uzui’s letter first, then?” The voice said. More rustling of paper. A clearing of the throat. “Dear Rengoku, I apologize for my absence, since this damn mission is taking longer than I expected, I’m absolutely certain you’re beside yourself with grief that yours truly isn’t there with you—” the speaker scoffed, and Kyojuro would have laughed too, if he could move. “Anyways, I’ll spare you the non-flashy details and regale you with the full story when I can see you again. Please get better soon, the mansion is too boring without you. Tengen.” 

In full earnest now, and with little else to do but lie there, Kyojuro tried to remember what had happened. The last image he could conjure was the electric flashing of blue and pink, a crazed laugh, and distantly, someone crying and calling his name. 

He assumed he was recovering in the butterfly mansion, but how long had it been since he’d fallen unconscious? Long enough that he was getting letters. He wondered if he’d gotten any from Senjuro. Or Giyuu. 

Giyuu. 

He’d just been dreaming about Giyuu. One of the first times he’d noticed Giyuu blushing at him, one of the many times Giyuu had made him laugh. That’s what the silence had reminded him of. With great difficulty, with everything he had, Kyojuro managed to grunt softly. 

Halfway through Tanjiro’s letter, the voice stopped. Even unable to see, Kyojuro could feel eyes on him, knew them to be deep and indigo and discerning. He sucked in a labored breath against the pain wrapping around his ribs, and this time managed a groan. 

“Kyojuro?” 

God I’d know that voice anywhere. 

Kyojuro’s eyes slid closed, then open once again, still heavy-lidded, still teary, but open. The fog around him lifting, the first thing he saw was his nurse, pale skin, a mess of raven black hair and a set of indigo eyes. 

In spite of everything, he smiled. “Giyuu,” he murmured. 

Giyuu felt his heart stop in his chest, his relief so intense it nearly paralyzed him. Kyojuro was looking at him. Kyojuro was alive. His world had crashed back into orbit again. He grabbed his friend by the arms and held him there tightly, desperate not to let him go again. 

��Kyo! God—” Thank god, thank god you’re alright! I was so worried, I was lost without you! His throat was so tight he could hardly breathe let alone speak. “You’re awake.” He managed stupidly after a moment. Kyojuro opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out for a moment. For once, Giyuu actually spoke instead. “Kyo…” he found himself saying again. 

Kyojuro lifted his head and tried to sit up, straining against the unbelievable pain that shook his entire body. He caught a glimpse of a large, blood-shadowed bandage over his abdomen before his forehead suddenly bumped into Giyuu. He must’ve been closer than he’d thought. The unexpected bump sent him back down against the bed with a groan. Giyuu still hadn’t taken his hands off of his arms. 

“Please don’t try to get up.” Giyuu murmured. “Your depth perception is probably quite off.” 

Kyojuro frowned at him and opened his mouth to ask why he’d say that, but another bright pulse of pain behind his left eye answered the question for him. Giyuu watched him with an expression Kyojuro had never seen him wear. His eyes were wide, tearful, endless. His pale lower lip trembled along with his hands, though he didn’t say anything.  There was about a million things Kyojuro could ask: What happened? Where are the kids? How long has it been? He decided on something different. 

“Kyo, huh?” He asked, his lips turning slightly upward into a smile. Giyuu stared. “Where’d that come from? I like it.”

Leave it to Kyojuro to say something like that at a time like this. That little smile on Kyojuro’s lips made Giyuu want to smile with him, to laugh and grab him tightly and never let him go. But he remembered the feeling of those lips against his, the taste of blood as he breathed for him, and the beginnings of his smile faltered. He came so close to never seeing that smile again. The weight of that knowledge pressed down on his shoulders so heavily that Giyuu dropped his head down and pressed his forehead against Kyojuro’s arm, as if in prayer. Overcome. 

Kyojuro watched him and his heart ached. He’d never seen Giyuu this upset, or at least he’d never shown it this plainly. It seemed like a fairly strong reaction to a simple battlefield injury…there must be something more to this situation he didn’t understand. He called Giyuu’s name softly and waited for him to look up. “I’m alright.” Kyojuro said, softly for once, his throat dry and raw. “It’s alright.”

Giyuu looked up. “No, Kyo, you’re not. You were dead.” His brows fell heavily over his eyes in apparent anger. “I had to beat your heart for you, I—I had to breathe for you!” His voice was low, tightly measured because if he spoke any louder or with any more ferocity he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep tears from falling. 

There was a brief silence while Kyojuro appeared to consider what he’d said. “And the train passengers? The kids?” 

Giyuu’s eyes briefly widened in shock, but his brows were quick to pull down again. “Are you not hearing me? You were dead. It’s nothing short of a miracle that you aren’t dead now!” Kyojuro looked at him, still waiting for his answer. Giyuu’s frown deepened but the quiver in his lower lip betrayed him. “Will you worry about yourself, just for one moment?” 

Though Giyuu had pulled away, Kyojuro still found an errant strand of his hair to curl between his fingers. “Why would I do that, when you do it so well?”

“Kyojuro, please.” Giyuu begged. “You—” he dropped his gaze again and struggled to conjure the words he meant. “You’ve been in a coma for more than three months. An upper rank had his arm through your solar plexus!” Kyojuro managed to look down at that shadowed bandage on his stomach, then back up at Giyuu as he continued.

“Kyo, you may never wield a sword again. You came very close to never breathing again! And I—” he snapped his mouth shut and averted his gaze from Kyojuro’s. 

Still fighting through shockwaves of pain, Kyojuro watched as Giyuu stared at the bandage on his stomach. “Giyuu.” He said gently, cautiously. He knew Giyuu to have a temper, but he was acting differently than Kyojuro had ever seen, like there was something he needed to say but couldn’t find the words. “If I would have died, I would have done so gladly! It’s the risk we take as demon slayers—” he fell into silence as Giyuu looked back up again, his eyes filled with tears. 

“Am I supposed to have been glad, too?” He asked bitterly. “You talk about yourself like your life is not worth anything! As if—” he stopped again. His breaths were coming faster and faster now. Giyuu did not continue, so Kyojuro did. 

“My life isn’t worth any more than anyone else’s…” he began. Apparently on a roll of surprising him, Giyuu cut him off. 

“Well it isn’t worth any less, either!” He exclaimed, not shouting, but with an intensity that rivaled Kyojuro’s. “God you remind me of Sabito!” He added in a huff. 

That stopped Kyojuro dead, all attempts at argument shut down. Giyuu never mentioned his family. Not even silently. He’d only learned he’d had a sister after they’d already known each other for more than a year. Sabito and Makomo he only learned of through Urokodaki. He watched Giyuu’s face and waited for him to continue. He did, though silently. 

Giyuu looked down and shook his head, his brow furrowed. You’re making this so difficult. Kyojuro watched his jaw clench and unclench, his mouth opening for a moment before clamping shut again. I need to tell you something. Fat, heavy tears fell from his eyes and onto the backs of his hands, which tightened themselves onto the blanket near Kyojuro’s forearm. It’s killing me. 

Looking down, head bowed, Giyuu was thinking of the bargain he’d made. If you let him live, I’ll tell him everything. He felt as overwhelmed as he was when he’d first come to the horrific scene at the train crash, his world spinning. His foolish and hopeful and frightened heart cracked deeper and deeper and threatened to come apart altogether as he tried to find the words to make Kyojuro understand.   

It was a long time before Giyuu spoke aloud again, and when he did, his voice shook. 

“Kyojuro.” he finally said. “You think to be brave is to be selfless. As if you have no regard at all for your own life. That isn’t bravery. It’s self destruction.” He remembered the feeling of Kyojuro’s ribs snapping beneath his hands. He remembered feeling Sabito’s, too. He couldn’t meet Kyojuro’s gaze, knowing without trying that the look he found there would burn his resolve away in an instant.

“You may think your life isn’t worth more than anyone else’s, but—” closing his eyes, Giyuu breathed out a sigh. “It is. To me.”

That was a surprise. Kyojuro stared at him, his shaking hands and the gaze that refused to meet his. He was even more surprised to find a faint pink blush spreading over Giyuu’s cheeks and nose. 

They fell into silence while Kyojuro watched Giyuu’s blush deepen. 

He’d always loved Giyuu the same way he loved anyone or anything else: loudly. My friend, how wonderful to see you! You always know how to make me laugh! Every compliment, every smile, Kyojuro was saying it over and over without ever saying it. I love you I love you I love you. 

But Giyuu had never been the type to do anything aloud. He loved quietly, privately, almost invisibly if someone wasn’t paying attention. Knowing his order at their udon cart without asking. Stepping in front of him to spare him a strike from a demon. Gripping onto the blankets of his cot, unwilling to meet his eye, unwilling to let go. I love you I love you I love you. 

Kyojuro was more than glad to allow their I love yous to remain unsaid, unspoken but still there, always there. He had become fluent in Giyuu’s body language, the soft silence that fell between them when they were together. 

But now the silence was uneasy with tension, as if there was something aching to be said. 

If you let him live, I’ll tell him everything, I swear. 

It was now or ever. And now he’d gotten so close to never, closer than he’d ever thought he’d get in all his wildest nightmares, that the unbridled fear of it now carried the words unspoken up his windpipe, threatening to burst. 

“K-Kyojuro,” Giyuu began. And Kyojuro looked at him with those stunning, earnest eyes--eye--and Giyuu’s next words fell from his mouth in a huff. “Damn it,” he cursed, moving as he spoke, finally releasing the blanket and grabbing instead onto Kyojuro’s arm. 

Before Kyojuro could ask what he needed to say, Giyuu had closed the distance between them, taken him gently but quickly by the sides of his face, and kissed him.

Kyojuro was so surprised he didn’t have time to move or react, just let Giyuu kiss him, his hands gripping tightly onto the sore sides of his bandaged face. Eyes wide open Kyojuro watched Giyuu’s brow pull up, his eyes tightly shut as if in great pain. 

And he was. Giyuu had never felt such agony, such elation, such horror at feeling Kyojuro’s lips on his again. It had never occurred to him until that moment that Kyojuro may not feel the same as he did, that his friend—could he call him a friend?—may be shocked, or worse, disgusted. But he couldn’t bring himself to care, now that Kyojuro’s lips didn’t taste like blood anymore. 

The ecstasy of finally letting out what had been clawing up the inside of his throat since the first moment he ever laid eyes on Kyojuro, bright and beautiful in the Master’s garden, and the fear of losing him, the trauma of coming very close, raged a battle in his chest that crashed through the rest of his body until he finally was forced to pull away, gasping. 

Kyojuro didn’t dare speak, just watched as Giyuu slowly let his breath out and leaned back. 

“I can’t lose anyone else I love.” Giyuu concluded. His voice was no louder than a whisper and yet it echoed through the room as if he’d shouted it. The fear eventually coming out on top in the battle raging in his aching heart, Giyuu tried to move fully away, to stand and brush off his haori and regain whatever dignity he had left. Once again Kyojuro’s hand came down on his wrist, stopping his escape. 

Kyojuro stared into his face until Giyuu looked at him, marveling at what he’d just done. Kyojuro had known for a long time that he loved Giyuu. And he’d known that in his own, quiet way, Giyuu loved him too. But now he’d said the quiet part out loud. What bravery it must’ve taken. Kyojuro looked at Giyuu’s lips, pale and thin and pressed into a hard, nervous line. He looked down and stared at Giyuu’s wrist in his hand. He released it, but captured Giyuu’s hand instead. 

He kissed the back of Giyuu’s hand, his fingers, the inside of his wrist, the back of his forearm, pulling him down and down again until their faces were inches from each other, indigo eyes meeting gold. All those times he’d watched Giyuu flush pink at something he’d said, all the tiny moments he’d noticed the tiny changes of expression on his face, and Kyojuro had never dreamed of kissing him. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he’d accepted long ago that they would always share something unspoken, and that would be enough. 

They stared at one another, breathing heavy. Giyuu watched as Kyojuro’s eye traveled down his face and landed on his lips before Kyojuro pulled him down far enough to kiss him back. 

It was as if he’d never been injured in the first place. All the pain that had rattled his ribs just moments prior was gone and it was a hundred times worse. His chest no longer ached and it ached more intensely than ever before. In fact he’d never felt more aflame, Giyuu’s icy cold lips on his burned away any other thought besides Giyuu’s name. 

He felt Giyuu take a breath and relax against him. He felt his lips part slightly beneath his. And then in spite of himself, in spite of everything, Kyojuro smiled. 

Giyuu felt Kyojuro’s lips turn upwards against his, then felt him shake slightly as he began to laugh. Giyuu opened his eyes and found Kyojuro’s closed in joy, his head thrown back as far as he could manage while still lying in a cot, laughter beginning to peel from him like church bells. If it were anyone else, Giyuu would assume they were mocking him. But not Kyojuro. 

“What could you possibly be laughing at?” Giyuu murmured, resting his hand on Kyojuro’s cheek. Kyojuro tried to stifle his giggles and Giyuu realized how red his friend’s face had become. 

“All that time,” Kyojuro began with a sigh. “All that time I wanted to kiss you…Who knew I had to do was die!” He laughed again despite the pain in his stomach. Giyuu frowned at him, trying very hard to be serious. 

“That isn’t funny.” He chided. Kyojuro just laughed harder, louder, stronger, as if Giyuu’s kiss had healed him. Giyuu rolled his eyes, but for once he didn’t think about how close he’d come to never hearing that laugh again. He didn’t think about how Kyojuro’s eyes had been staring blankly up at nothing, how his golden skin had paled and his chest fallen still. That laugh was like the sun parting through clouds, and for once Giyuu just sighed and chuckled with him. The sound of his laughter made Kyojuro laugh even harder until they both devolved into giggles. 

Since Kyojuro’s laughter was both very distinctive and quite loud, it was bound to attract attention as other inhabitants of the butterfly mansion began to follow the sound. Giyuu leapt nearly a foot in the air when he heard a voice from behind him. 

“Mr. Rengoku?” Giyuu quickly moved back from Kyojuro, who released his hand, though both relaxed when they saw Tanjiro standing in the doorway, his eyes already filled with tears. “Mr. Rengoku!” Tanjiro shouted, and sprinted forward. 

“Young Kamado!” Kyojuro grinned at the way Giyuu moved back to allow Tanjiro in beside him. “Ah, how good to see you!” 

All Tanjiro managed to say was his name as his eyes welled with tears. Kyojuro put his hand on his head. “Don’t cry, I’m alright!” He said softly. “Besides, I don’t want you tearing that belly wound open again!” 

Tanjiro looked up, then at Giyuu, whose face was neutral and measured. “Mr. Rengoku, my stomach is all healed. It’s been three months.” 

“Ah. So it has.” Kyojuro shifted and tried to get a better look at the boy. Without speaking, or having been asked, Giyuu slid his arm beneath Kyojuro’s shoulders to help him sit up. 

Tanjiro couldn’t help but let out another sob. “I’m so glad you’re alright! Mr. Tomioka hasn’t left your side since you got here!” Though escaping Tanjiro’s notice, Giyuu went bright pink and set his jaw. Kyojuro grinned at him. 

“That doesn’t surprise me at all.” He said softly, speaking to Tanjiro but looking at Giyuu as he helped him settle in the new, more upright position.  

Next to follow the sound was Shinobu herself, who was so surprised upon appearing in the doorway to find Kyojuro looking up adoringly at Giyuu, holding him by the shoulders, his face bright pink, that she actually froze for a moment. It did not take her long to realize what Giyuu had done, and she smiled, blinking away tears. Finally. 

Then she put her hands on her hips, blinked the tears away, and gave Giyuu the chiding of a lifetime for daring not to tell her that Kyojuro had awoken. Inosuke appeared next, already yelling, leaping onto the foot of Kyojuro’s bed and declaring Kyojuro the master of death itself. Zenitsu was quick to follow, carrying a half-awake and tiny Nezuko with him. Once her bright eyes fell onto Kyojuro’s she leapt from Zenitsu’s arms and joined Inosuke on the foot of Kyojuro’s bed, her delighted voice muffled by her muzzle but still clearly excited. 

Any Hashira who wasn’t on a mission joined them. Mitsuri’s bright—if shrill—sobs of joy briefly drowned out anyone else’s attempt at speech, Sanemi sternly but firmly put his hand on Kyojuro’s shoulder, his jaw clenched tightly, Gyomei offered a prayer of gratitude. But the room stopped when Senjuro arrived. He stared at Kyojuro in the doorway for a long moment, as if disbelieving that he was really awake and breathing. It took both Shinobu and Giyuu to keep Kyojuro from leaping out of bed to greet him. Senjuro ended up sitting on the bed beside his brother, handing him letters that Giyuu had handed him and helping Kyojuro catch up on three months’ worth of missed correspondence. 

It was only then that Kyojuro’s attention was jarred enough from Giyuu to look around at the scene surrounding his sickbed. On a table behind Giyuu was a stack of letters, cards, and notes. Beside the letters were gifts, wrapped in colorful paper or fabric, stacks upon stacks of bento, boxes of candy, several vases of flowers, several more wilted bouquets of lying on the floor beside his table. All of it had been carefully organized; The notes had all been gently unfolded and stacked in chronological order, the bottom boxes of bento had been opened, likely emptied of their contents before they could spoil--it had been three months, after all--rinsed and replaced on the table. The flowers had clearly been traded out for fresh ones each time the previous bundle wilted. Kyojuro couldn’t help but smile even wider at Giyuu the more he noticed his work. There he was, saying it over and over without anybody but Kyojuro knowing. I love you, I love you, I love you. 

Though typically Kyojuro never seemed to tire, he had just cheated death after all, and so much commotion from so many well-wishers was becoming difficult to keep up with. Shinobu was quick to pull rank even on other Hashira and clear the mansion out when she noticed his eyelids becoming heavy. Only Giyuu and Senjuro lingered while she caught Kyojuro up on his injuries. 

“I'm sure you’ve already noticed the injury to your left eye. It was ruptured. We treated it with medicinal ointments and managed to close the wound, but your pupil doesn’t react to light anymore…I’m afraid that eye will be permanently blind.” Kyojuro nodded slowly, remembering feeling Giyuu changing the bandages there before he was fully awake, remembering how he’d bumped into Giyuu’s head with his new lack of depth perception. 

Shinobu continued, though her voice became gentle and slow. “The wound to your solar plexus was the most severe. It went all the way through your torso and damaged your spinal cord.” She told Kyojuro. Senjuro and Giyuu had already heard this from her, but it hurt a little to watch Kyojuro’s reaction to the reality of his injuries. His eyes wandered down his own stomach, across the bandage, and toward his feet. “It caused damage to the nerves that control your left leg. So far it seems like it still moves, but I don’t know how strong it will ever be.”

You may never wield a sword again, Giyuu had told him. Kyojuro had breezed past the statement at first, just glad to be alive. Now, staring at his left foot and trying to wiggle his toes, finding with a strike of fear that he could only manage to move the foot a matter of millimeters, Kyojuro swallowed but set his jaw, stiff-lipped, trying to look strong in front of his brother. 

“I see.” He managed. 

Shinobu laid out an aggressive rehabilitation plan for him, to start as soon as he was ready, then parted with an oddly knowing look that made Giyuu squirm just a little. Nothing got past her. Senjuro lingered a bit longer, but as intuitive as he was, nothing really got past him either. He could see his brother’s head beginning to nod as exhaustion overtook him. And he could see the way it nodded toward Giyuu’s faithful and unwavering hand on his shoulder, his cheek falling against the back of Giyuu’s palm. Senjuro slid off of the bed and invented an excuse to leave, letting Kyojuro begin to drift. Before he left though, he met Giyuu’s eye. 

“Thank you, Mr. Tomioka.” He said quietly. Giyuu nodded silently at him; he’d been thanked by Senjuro several times before during the blur of these three months, once the boy learned how his brother had managed to survive the battlefield. Senjuro’s eyes were on Giyuu’s pale hand as Kyojuro’s cheek fell against it. “Thank you for saving my brother.” Senjuro continued in a whisper. 

Giyuu nodded again, though this time it was because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Senjuro left the two alone in the wing of the butterfly mansion, the light of evening turning gold around them. Giyuu nodded a third time, this time just to himself, because he couldn’t think of a way to say Kyojuro is the one who saved me aloud. 

He felt Kyojuro sigh against him and looked down. Kyojuro’s good eye was open again, looking down at his own feet. “What’s going to happen?” He asked, mostly to himself, trying to move his defective left leg and frowning when he failed. After a moment he looked up to meet Giyuu’s gaze. 

“I don’t know.” Giyuu admitted. With a defunct left leg and no depth perception, it was quite clear Kyojuro wouldn’t be wielding a sword any time soon, perhaps ever again. He’d be forced to retire as a Hashira. He swallowed and watched Kyojuro, who seemed to be thinking very hard. 

He’d been born a Hashira, the blood was in him from the start. He’d always thought he’d die a Hashira, too. It wasn’t just the cornerstone of his identity but the very basis of it; everything else was built up from there. His entire concept of himself was going to crumble without his sword, without the flames curling from his lips as he wielded it. Without the knowledge, the certainty that he would eventually die in service of their cause. Now, Kyojuro didn’t know what he was going to die for. 

Kyojuro looked into Giyuu’s eyes and watched them carefully as they began to shine. His ivory skin was glowing in the dying evening light, his hand was cool and soft against his cheek. He looked past Giyuu at the stacks of gifts on the table, the letters Senjuro had read for him and left for him. And he smiled. And he kissed Giyuu’s hand again and he smiled even wider, lips still against his cool skin. 

“Me neither.” He said softly. 

He did know what he was going to live for. 

Evening fell into night with Giyuu by Kyojuro’s side, where he’d been all along and would be as long as he allowed him to remain. Their hands eventually entwined again, Kyojuro every so often kissing Giyuu’s as if in awe that he could. Each time Giyuu felt a little more faint. Each time he watched Kyojuro’s chest move up and down he relaxed a little more. By the time the sun had slipped down over the horizon Giyuu was practically asleep too, leaning against Kyojuro’s cot. 

Kyojuro watched the back of Giyuu’s head, tiredly carded his hand through Giyuu’s mess of black hair, couldn’t keep from smiling. 

“I love you.” He whispered aloud to Giyuu. Because he could just say it now, because he still had breath to whisper it into the dark room, because his heart had kept beating long enough to see Giyuu turn slightly to look at him, eyes heavy. 

“I love you too.” He whispered back, aloud. The words came as easily as breathing now. He settled his head back against Kyojuro’s cot, keeping his neck craned back so he could look at him for just a little long before sleep overtook them both. I love you too, he said, silently.

[binunus]

sex with bin x eunwoo (m)

a/n THIS WHOLE ALBUM??? IS SO GOOD??? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK !!!

also im so so sorry that i keep disappearing, every time I think I have a break in school, my professors keep going like sike here’s a new assignment and group presentation 🤡, but I swear I’m still working on all the requests, it’s just a real slow progression this time 😔

but thank you all so much for being really patient with me and my works, i legit wanna cry when I think about how sweet all you loves are ❤️

→ genre: smut

→ tw: threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it lovies) dom!binwoo, brat!reader, light bondage?? anal, eiffel tower, oral (f and m receiving), fingering (f and m receiving), ~choking~ bc it’s me, squirting, v-voyeurism??

→ word count: 3.3k _________________________________

oh good fucking lord

I don’t even know where to start

just the thought of getting dicked down by these two immaculate men??? at the same time??? i would sell my soul

and just binwoo are literally my biases?? im still going back and forth between them (even though I think bin is the top)

alright so how does this little thing even start

this is a non-idol au, lowkey this request is giving me frat boy vibes oops i said it

bin and eunwoo are close, they’re best buds

they have fucked the same guy/girl before, but never at the same time

they just have the same taste in people wink wonk

sidenote: bin and eunwoo as bi kings??? so much power fuck

so you are a mutual friend

you met them both in college and have stayed friends since then

but relationships aren’t for you (not yet at least)

the streets™ are still your companion

yes you have fucked both bin and eunwoo before in college, eunwoo once when you were junior, and bin a couple times throughout senior year

you don’t talk to them often, but if something comes up on your feed or a monumental event happens to any one of you, of course you’d spike up some conversation

so you’re coming back in town for a week or so, visiting old friends and family

and bin hits you up like “hey, I saw that you were in town! we should get some dinner and catch up!”

and you were not about to say no to that, bin was a good part of your college years! it would be nice to hang out with him again

alright you weren’t expecting to get action from this dinner – it popped in your mind, yes, but it wasn’t the ulterior motive

but did you try to dress up a little to impress moon bin?? maybe so

and shit, when he showed up to the restaurant looking like a whole ass man?? 

like did his biceps look more appetizing than the food you were being served? a little bit

conversation was exchanged very easily, you and bin were always a bit flirty with each other, ever since college, but you both knew it never meant anything beyond sex

and so when he asked if you were dating anyone, you knew this was the invitation, and were you going to accept it?? 100%, you haven’t had sex in a while because of your job

and so you find yourself back in bin’s apartment

bin: hm? I guess eunwoo’s not home from work yet

you: eunwoo? as in cha eunwoo? you guys still live together?

bin: yeah, we like living together, rent was cheaper that way, and this place is equidistant from both of our work places...is that a problem??

you: no, I mean it makes sense, just...what if eunwoo comes back while we’re in the middle of fucking...wouldn’t that be weird?

bin shrugging: you’ve had sex with eunwoo in college too, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked before either. who knows he might even wanna join?

he said that as a joke alright

but as soon as he mentioned it, your eyes dilated a bit

bin noticed immediately and he caged you against the wall, a little smirk playing on his lips

bin: you seem to like that idea, y/n. hm? you wanna get fucked by both me and eunwoo? didn’t know you were into threesomes

your cheeks are flushing, you felt seen: would you feel weird if he joined? you guys are friends and roommates

bin shaking his head: me and eunwoo have talked about it before, and honestly this seems like the perfect opportunity. we’re all friends here.

you being nervous a little bit bc a threesome?? with both bin and eunwoo?? those two 6 foot attractive men??

you tried a threesome before bc you were curious, but it wasn’t the best hookup experience

you: should we...? wait for him??

your cheeks are flushed a little, like how were you supposed to go about this

bin smiles bc you look a bit cute right now being all shy and he just pinches your cheek

bin: you got cuter since we graduated y/n

you: shut the fuck up bin, don’t make me tie you up again

bin smirks and his hand moves from your cheek to fully grasp at your neck, he squeezes your throat as he pushes you so that your back collided with the wall: baby, if anyone’s getting tied up tonight, it’s gonna be you

and god if you weren’t horny before, you definitely are now, especially with the way bin was cutting off your airflow??? your head was spinning in the best kind of way

bin slotting his thigh in between your legs as he just crashes his lips onto yours

and he’s still choking you when he literally shoves his tongue down your throat, you have to grab onto his broad shoulders just to steady yourself

making out with bin is so hot

he picks you up by your ass and you wrap your legs around his waist, you both are still making out as he leads you to the couch

you’re straddling him oh lord have mercy

you in between kisses: why don’t we go to your room? what, is it messy?

you moan as he spanks your ass at the quip: we’re gonna need to do something about that smart mouth of yours baby...and we’re here to give eunwoo a little show when he comes home. Why, you need a bed? pillow princess? last time I remember, you were fine getting fucked in the maintenance room.

you two go back to kissing, bin’s hands were gripping at your waist now, lifting up the bottom of your shirt so that you could take it off

never in your life have you been so happy to wear a skirt, you could feel the outline of his bulge against your underwear, the fabric of his jeans giving you just enough friction

and when you start grinding on him, he grunts into your mouth and bites on your lower lip

and fuck when bin removes his shirt? he was always built in college but the definition of his muscles now?? you were literally drooling

you: holy shit bin, isn’t your job in business? where do you find the time to workout?

he’s kissing your neck now: you can always find time to workout y/n, just make it part of your daily routine

exercise evangelist moonbin™

you’re tilting your head to the side giving him more access, bin’s sucking hickeys into your neck and it just feels so good

your neck’s a sensitive spot, if you couldn’t tell

and bin knows that so he’s paying extra attention to your neck, you don’t even notice when his hands go around your torso to unclasp your bra

the two of you are literally just topless on his couch, making out and feeling each other up, when lo and behold, eunwoo comes home

his eyes go wide and he immediately covers his face: jesus christ bin, go to your fucking room

bin starts laughing, you know his laugh where his eyes literally crinkle and he smiles so wide and his laugh increases in pitch, that one

you can’t help but laugh too, you thought you would be embarrassed, but this is a bit funny

you: you don’t have to cover your eyes eunwoo, it’s not like you haven’t seen any of this before

eunwoo: oh shit, hey y/n, didn’t know you were coming over?? well...uh if you guys aren’t gonna go to bin’s room, I’m going to mine and just let me know when you’re done

bin: you sure you wanna go to your room? y/n wants you to join us

eunwoo’s blushing a little bit (he’s not covering his face anymore) when you two meet eyes: are you sure y/n?

you get a bit shy again bc shit, eunwoo in a suit coming from work with silver-blue hair? sexy

you: yeah...if you want to, me and bin are cool with it.

bin’s back to kissing your neck as you basically watch eunwoo remove his jacket and tie

and oof him unbuttoning his dress shirt? y’all he’s a tease, they both are

bin: let’s take this back to my room

eunwoo: we can go to mine, it’s cleaner and my bed’s bigger

you: i knew it

bin bites your shoulder and you let out a mix between a yelp of pain and a moan

bin: eunwoo get your ropes, we need to teach y/n a lesson on being bratty

eunwoo chuckling as he leads the way to his bedroom

bin already made himself comfortable on eunwoo’s bed, and you’re standing to the side making conversation as eunwoo looks through his closet for the ropes lol

as soon as eunwoo finds it, there’s a dark change in his eyes and he smirks at you: why don’t you join binnie on the bed, y/n?

your stomach turns in excitement, eunwoo tosses the ropes to bin and he puts a hand on your back as he leads you to his bed, and before you could get on by yourself, eunwoo just tugs your skirt down making you gasp

you lie down and bin grins as he binds your wrists to eunwoo’s headboard, usually you would put up a little fight when you get tied up, but you just stayed silent, you were anticipating what would happen next

bin: you’re being oddly obedient y/n

you’re a brat okay, but in the past when you and bin used to hook up, your brattiness increased by like 100%, like you’re extra bratty with bin for some reason

~it is what it is~

maybe it’s because eunwoo’s here too that your bratty side has suppressed a bit

bin and eunwoo both start removing all their clothes and you’re like shit eunwoo’s built too

bin settles in between your legs and eunwoo leans in and starts kissing you

and mmm eunwoo’s good at making out like he legit be taking your breath away and then you start feeling bin take off your soaked panties and he just goes right in

you literally moan into eunwoo’s mouth and your hands are straining against the ropes bc you just want to hold onto something !!

eunwoo feeling up your breasts and tweaking your nipples while bin is sucking on your clit and probing his tongue in and out your entrance??? euphoric

you’re literally feeling so many sensations right now and it’s just foreplay woo

and then the edging starts

bin??? hella good at eating out, oof what that mouth do

and with the added stimulation from eunwoo kissing your neck and pulling at your nips, you’re reaching your orgasm faster than anticipated

and suddenly they’re both off you

you: what the fuck?

you’re like gasping and glaring at the both of them and they just give you smug looks

bin: I don’t know if you deserve to cum just yet, y/n. right, eunwoo?

eunwoo chuckling as he nods and flicks at your nipple: binnie told me that you like talking back, hmmm that won’t work with both of us here y/n

your submissiveness kicking in and you’re whining: i won’t talk back, I promise

bin: I don’t know if I believe you y/n

and then they switch places and now bin’s making out with you again and eunwoo’s face to face with your cunt and he just shoves two fingers in your entrance and starts scissoring you

and right as you’re about to cum, they pull away again

this goes on at least two more times, you’re literally so frustrated tears are pooling in your eyes and you’re whining hard as hell, your wrists already aching from the ropes 

eunwoo: do you want us to untie you, y/n?

you nodding as you’re sniffling back the tears

aww they feel bad so eunwoo unties the ropes and he’s like gently rubbing at your wrists

bin wiping your tears away as he pinches at your cheek again

bin: you okay, y/n?

you: I’m so close, please

bin: alright baby, who do you want first, hm?

you honestly didn’t know, you had no preference, you just wanted to get railed

eunwoo: why not both?

your eyes go wide a little bit, your ass isn’t even prepped

bin sensing your hesitation and he just puts a hand on your waist: if you don’t want to--

you: no, i want to...I’m just...my ass isn’t ready...

eunwoo laughing cutely as he pats your thigh: we’ll prep you baby, don’t worry

you start by going on all fours, bin enters you first from behind and the groan he lets out bc you’re just so tight wow 

he literally has to restrain himself from just ramming into you, your walls just fit so snugly around him, his nails were digging into the skin of your waist

you open your mouth in a moan at the stretch and in that moment, eunwoo shoves his cock down your throat you literally gag

for reference, they’re both above average, no surprise there, I’d say both around 8 in., but bin’s girthier for sure

and so bin’s fucking your cunt while eunwoo’s fucking your mouth

simultaneously, eunwoo tugs at your hair and bin sneaks a finger down to gather some juices from your pussy before probing at your asshole

bin’s prepping you real well mmmmm

he’s literally fingering your ass while he’s pounding into you, the tip of his cock hitting so deep in your cervix

on the other hand you’re so focused on sucking eunwoo off, you take him as deep in your throat as you could, letting your jaw slack as he just thrusted in your mouth

and also the vibrations of your moans around his cock every time bin hits deep in you???

eunwoo swears he almost busts a nut when your hands reach up to play with his balls

he’s panting as he pulls your mouth off his cock: I need to be inside you before I cum

and then he’s lying down on his back and you start to ride eunwoo, and then bin lines his cock up at your other hole and you start to tense

eunwoo bringing you into a kiss to try and distract you from the pain your asshole’s about to feel

and you start hissing as bin starts to push in, you’re clenching so hard around eunwoo and tugging tightly at the ends of his hair

eunwoo starts making circles on your clit so that you could relax a bit to make it easier for bin to enter your back hole

and then the three of you just stay still for a bit when bin finally bottoms out, you’re still trying to get used to feeling stuffed full, you haven’t been fucked in so long and now you’re getting railed by two cocks??

the two of them are both saying sweet things to calm you down and distract you from the pain

and it’s cute, you know from your respective past hookup experiences with them that they’re really good at sensing discomfort or pain and would always tend to your needs

oof baby but as soon as you give the okay for both of them to move

it’s like you’re taken to another dimension holy shit

they both hit so deep, you swear to god their cocks have to be touching or something, or maybe at least reaching your intestines

when people say rearrange your guts, it definitely must have been this

you’re trying to set a pace on top of eunwoo, but bin thrusting from behind literally makes your knees go weak until eunwoo just lifts his hips and takes over, matching bin’s speed

and imagine this: bin pulling your hair, making your head tilt back and eunwoo just reaches up and covers your neck with his hand before he squeezes at your throat

your eyes are literally rolling into the back of your head, you have never felt this good ever in your life

your head’s spinning again, and you know all three of you are reaching the tipping point pretty soon, your stomach is churning, making you clench hard around both eunwoo and bin

eunwoo biting his lip as he groans, his grip tightening just a bit more around your neck

bin’s still yanking your hair back and he starts spanking your ass, he’s moaning as well

you literally scream, throat feeling raw, as you cum, you have never orgasmed so hard before, your body was convulsing around both of them and you just collapse on top of eunwoo

you’re vision literally sees white and your ears are ringing as they both cum in you

you black out for a little bit

eunwoo and bin: o_o holy fuck

the two of them start panicking like...did they just fuck you dead?? put you in a coma??

okay but just imagine eunwoo and bin bickering with each other about what to do like

bin: do we call 119???

eunwoo: what do we say? we fucked our friend into a coma?

it’s okay because you regain consciousness soon enough and both boys let out the biggest sigh of relief

you: ...what happened?

eunwoo: you passed out for a bit there y/n

you start giggling, much to their surprise, and you try to sit up

bin: ...are you okay y/n?

you: yeah, I can’t believe I blacked out because you guys fucked me so well, that’s pretty hot not gonna lie

eunwoo goes into the kitchen real quick to get you some water and bin sits down next to you

you thank eunwoo when he hands you the glass and he sits across from you and bin

the two roommates exchange a look and just high-five each other

you roll your eyes as they just laugh at each other...ugh boys

bin teasing you: I’ve never seen you so submissive y/n

eunwoo joining in: yeah, didn’t know you could squirt as well

you almost spit out the water: i-huh? no way

eunwoo: yeah, my stomach was soaked, I wiped it off when you were out

your face flushes, you’ve never squirted before

bin: don’t be embarrassed! it was hot, y/n, really

the three of you then just jump into a casual conversation about college, keep in mind you’re all still naked

and then you feel the cum just like in both your holes and it’s just uncomfortably sticky

you: uh...do you guys mind if I shower? my pussy feels gross right now

bin, with a glint in his eyes: I can clean that up for you, baby

before you know it, bin’s eating you out again -- to be more specific, he’s literally licking the mixture of yours and eunwoo’s cum from your cunt

that’s sexy...

you make eye contact with eunwoo and he’s just smirking as he sits back and watches you two, no intention on joining yet

alright but you had no idea if you could take another round right now, the first one literally made you pass out

so after bin makes you cum again, you tap out for the night

the three of you shower -- separately -- and then regroup in the living room to just chat and chill

the two insist you sleep over for the night since it’s past midnight by now

were there also hints of a round two in the morning?? maybe

you sleep in one of eunwoo’s shirts, but end up sleeping next to bin bc he’s whiny and likes cuddling

you three fuck again in the morning oops until eunwoo had to leave for work

then you and bin fuck again afterwards

happy threesome

happy comeback :)

4-5-21

[poseidonewithyou]

they look amazing thank you so much!!

I’ve been super busy with school and kept forgetting to upload this! 

Thank you to @poseidonewithyou who commissioned me for their lovely Ylva Lavellan doin some spooky necromancing with Dorian!