#im kidding about the sharpie thing

[typicalsoupcan]

I'm replaying dangonronpa. I just finished the first one and now I'm on the second. It's giving me that feeling everyone had in like 2016 of absolute cringe. Like this is why I waited until I was an adult to actually play these games so I don't feel like cringe, but it's also making me wanna reread a super long web comic and dye my skin with sharpies

[jackass-jones]

re: udg reblog,

clearly the solution to “oh i love this but i don’t think anyone should play it” is to write a fic with only the good parts and none of the bad parts but then you have this big empty space where the bad parts were so you just make something up that seems vaguely believable

that seems like a normal thing normal people do right?

RIGHT?

It’s always correct and totally won’t ever lead to agony as you look at the canon and scream because my god how are you supposed to salvage something this stupid why are you doing this you used to be so normal and not care oh god why does attacking the little girl make her pants fly off oh god why is delta a character

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

More dad tan? I’m just a simp for him

An idea is having him have to babysit his own kid while on the bullet train

I just love dad tan sm omg ?? so in most of my writings talking about dad tan, he has a little girl called mandy, so im gonna carry that in this too (bc I love it)

so I imagine him taking her on lots of days out, lots of trips and mini holidays. she's probably visited like 10 dif countries before the age of 6

he's def taken you and mandy to a couple dif disney lands (one in orlando and one in paris) and maybe maybe, the one in tokyo. WHICH after, on the way back to the airport to go home, he takes you both on the bullet train - just so you can both see just how fast it actually goes. he was on it in the summer last year for work (yes the one in the movie, and yes he survives, what about it??)

couple more things bc i love dad tan!! … he's not a great cook, but he makes a mean spag bol !! mandy loves it and asks for it like 3 times a week for dinner. but before tan goes away for work, he makes a bulk of it and portions it and puts it in the freezer for while he's away :(( cute little sharpie writing on top "for my little girl," (omg dying)

he always brings back plushies for mandy too. cute touristy ones - like a peach if he went to georgia, sushi if he went to japan. something he knows she'll love!! the attic is probs filled with boxes of stuffed teddies (yes it may be wasteful, but it's cute and thoughtful, right?)

also he's such a dad!1! and he's built her a princess castle in the back garden when she asked him to buy her one. he probs said something like, "buy one? mands, I can you make one. we'll go to b&q and you can pick the colours, yea?" even though he has the money, he's still sensible with it. he wants mandy to learn that you can't just buy everything. also he def makes her help, asking her to pass things he doesn't actually need, to make her feel useful. he's like, "pass us the screwdriver, would ya poppet?" he def uses it as a chance to teach her handywork stuff. he makes her pass nails to save him bending

he's so🫠

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[catgirlmeowska]

you walk into my office. im in a dark office with expensive mahogony pannelling. my grand desk intimidates you, the new intern, as you approach. The back of my leather office chair is illuminated with a fammiliar navy-blue-ish tone.

You hesitate, if only for a moment, until my hand pops out tapping out a fat cigar onto the floor. I spin my chair around and cross one leg over the other, staring at you inquisitively. You approach with today's reports. You move to explain your findings on current stats and trends that are blowing up, but i shush you with a single finger.

"Do you think I got as far as i did giving a rats-ass about any of that?" I say, kicking my feet off the desk before you can notice I am wearing a pair of tastefully dinosaur themed crocs. "I only care about two things, Kid. Open today's review".

You sigh, knowing your manager wont be pleased to know you couldn't get through to me, but you're at your wits end with this job none the less. You root through the folders until you can find one labelled "PERFORMANCE" in thick, black sharpie. You dust off loose glitter that fell out of a jar when i kicked the desk trying to put my feet down casually, and open to a single page.

"What does it say. Tell me."

"....8 likes."

"And the reblogs?"

"....2."

You expect disappointment, but recoil as i let out a menacing howl of laughter. I dive over the desk, tackling you to the ground and shaking your shoulders in a state of euphoria.

As I slowly raise myself off of you, my face is darkened by the shadows cast by your long-forgotten flashlight. I turn around and walk towards an open window, balancing on the ledge as a helicopter flies frighteningly close to the building. As i hope on, I leave you and the company with one final message:

"That beats my record!"

"By how much?!" you shout over the whirring of the blades.

"........Two."

[archangeldyke-all]

What about Sevika as a librarian👀

omg im crying

men and minors dni

it doesn't seem like it'd make sense at first, but if you think about it, it's a quiet job, and sevika loves quiet. it's a way to help people, and i think deep down that's all sevika wants to do. she also loves reading, so it's perfect for her.

sevika in glasses???? omg...

she loves helping people working on research projects. whether it's a kid doing their science fair project or a phd student scouring the shelves for an obscure academic publication. it's like a puzzle for her, scouring the shelves, searching the databases, helping someone find the answers they seek.

she swears she hates kids, but on thursday evenings she can be found reading aloud to the kids who come in for after school activities. the material isn't always appropriate for school aged children-- murder mysteries and horror stories-- but the kids love it and sevika tries to censor herself when she can remember.

she's a huge advocate for all the free services the library offers. always tells people about the electronics available for checkout, the job fairs they host every month.

you come into the library after moving to town, looking to get a new library card for your new city.

sevika's eager to clock out and go home, but she sees you waiting at the tail end of a long line of people wanting to check out books, and she sits her ass right back down in her rolling chair.

when you finally get to the front of the line, sevika gets tongue tied and flustered trying to help you.

you think she's cute, stumbling over her words and repeating your name under her breath when you give it to her.

you notice the little lesbian flag in her pen holder and grin.

"is that yours or is this a co-workers desk?" you ask, nodding to the flag. she chokes.

"m-mine." she grunts out. you grin.

"cool." you say. you pull your keys out of your back pocket, showing her your own pride keychain. "me too." you say. sevika gawks at you for nearly a full minute before she manages to pull her eyes back down to the screen in front of her.

she finishes printing and magnetizing your card, handing it over to you.

"you don't need my number?" you ask. sevika shakes her head no.

"your address and email are enough for a library c--"

"not for the card." you say. sevika freezes. you shrug. "sorry. thought we were flirting a bit." you say, embarrassed, collecting your new card and turning to leave.

"wait!" sevika shouts, scrambling to reach over the desk and grab your wrist. "yes. please. i'll take your number. if you want... to... give it to me." she finishes awkwardly. you grin, and grab a sharpie from her pen holder, jotting your number down on her hand.

she watches you go, ignoring the next customer until you're out of sight.

the first thing she does once you're gone is program your number into her phone, holding a finger up in a 'one second' motion to the patron standing before her.

she gets shit from him for being so slow, but it doesn't even bother her. nothing can bring her down now that she's got your number.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix

[glitchotic]

heard ya have some lego movie headcanons (interested)

Ooughhhh i have soo manyyy.... for example this one's technically not a hc but does anyone else ride or die for fat/chubby emmet??? i mean i already always hc'd as being a bit overweight but adding on the fact that rex says hes "chiseled features were hidden under "baby fat"" just totally solidifies chubby emmet for me. additionally, people who are afraid to draw wyldstyle/lucy as buff make me sooo irritated especially in her apocalypse form like omfg theyre parodying mad max rn and you dont think shed be built like a brick house (no pun intended) rn? but okay sure. i guess you could make the argument of "well she needs to be sneaky and well hidden" as if her ex boyfriend isnt literally batman who is ripped and does that shit but i digress. i've discussed this in my benny/metalbeard post but metalbeard being a tech freak is mad underrated of a headcanon to me, i think him geeking out over new tech just makes so much sense to me bc i firmly believe metalbeard wants to have the most swashbuckling, most advanced pirate ship of the sea. especially considering when queen whatevra offered an entire planet sized ship for him and he added on things like a keyboard to his build and he just seems like hes always open to new technology and ideas. SPEAKING OF QUEEN WHATEVRA. technically more abt mayhem, i sooo hc her as being like a raver/kandi kid/scene girl type idk something abt her design to me screams "i listen to dj s3rl" I ALSO THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH LUCYS ORIGIN BECAUSE HOW DID SHE KNOW HOW TO REMOVE THE SHARPIE FROM HER HAIR HRMMM?? PLUS THE FACT THE SYSTARIANS KNOW THAT POP MUSIC CAN AFFECT THE WAY PEOPLE THINK..... ADDITIONALLY THE DUPLONS SANG THE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME SONG........... MUCH TO THINK ABOUT HERE IS ALL IM SAYINNGGG... also i in general feel like no one talks abt mayhem/lucys relationship...... sorry but like tlm3 real needs to happen bc i want so desperately to see more of mayhem getting to know lucys story and being so invested and helping her heal and recover and full go back to her true self and ohgfggmmffg imaging how adorable the specialstyle interactions would be after emmet just being like "woagghh youre so beautiful" and shes like "this outfit is smaller than i remember..... kinda hurts"......... oh THIS ONEEE I NEVER SHUT UP ABT but UNIKITTYS CAT HALF IS A TIGER SHE IS HALF TIGER AND ULTRAKITTG IS PROOF!!! i think puppycorns dog half is a shiba cos of the curly little tail and his tendency to be air headed and goofy. i also think puppycorn and unikitty would b the type to use gen alpha slang to piss off master frown but thats me getting into my unikitty! headcanons lol.... ummmm .... i also really like audhd emmet and autistic benny but GUYSSS HEAR ME OUTTT SWEET MAYHEM GIRL AUTISM. think about it.... ermmm thats all i can think of rn i have more but its so hard to talk abt my hcs w out a specific prompt 💔😔

[gothic-levi-arts]

Exposing my school and classmates cause I'm trying to stay sane (Not in order lol)

tw: for implied abuse (such as sexual harassment and others)

(A thing to know, I'm now an 8th grader so some of these happened pretty recent lol)

(Happened this year, a few weeks ago) A male student said he was gonna touch me and find my house. I told the assistant principal and counselor AND YET THIS DUDE HASN'T GOTTEN ANY PUNISHMENT.

(Happened in 6th grade) My history teacher made me cry 3 times over dumb reasons and yet she hasn't been fired for her abuse over students. Hehe, but I was her "pet" as she sometimes made me do things for her. HERE'S SOME EXAMPLES! She made me steal a student's lead pencil and put it on her desk. (as she had this dumb rule of no lead pencils as she somehow hated them) and made me get her a paperclip when IT WAS 2 INCHES IN FRONT OF HER ON HER DESK (Istg her arms must have been short). She also gave me a D on the weather part of my history fair project (It was on the battle of Lexington and Concord) because I didn't say what the weather was like (WHEN I DID MY RESEARCH, THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT THE DAM WEATHER!). Now i'm in NJHS and she is the main teacher for the group.

(Happened in 7th grade) Got punched in the arm by a kid and the kid only got a lunch detention for what he did. I FELT THE PAIN ON MY ARM FOR DAYS!

(Just happened today) kids in my class fake vaping as if it's cool.

(6th grade year) A girl named Paz put black sharpie on her finger and yelled "GuYs, I'm 2% BlAcK." Paz also once found out I'm bisexual and asked if I liked female privates. LIKE IM 11 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME HELP--

(Happened in 7th grade) A girl named Miabella was known to touch and grab random girls thighs and butts, doing it to me sometimes. Weirdest thing is she was straight and had a boyfriend (Who was an asshole for the upcoming reason). Her boyfriend wasn't even good like one day Miabella was so upset about a text he gave her (THE TEXT LITERALLY SAID HE WAS GOING TO SHOOT UP THE SCHOOL) but she wasn't even said about that text..SHE WAS SAD BECAUSE HE STOPPED TEXTING AFTER THAT. This girl would make fun of me for "acting like I have autism" and once told me to die by telling me to stop breathing. She even told many of the students in our grade at the time about my crush of a girl WHICH I TOLD HER TO NOT TELL ANYONE!

there is still more so just comment if you want more parts of exposing my school and classmates lol. This took a real weight off my chest and sense of relief writing all that.

[swiftfootedachilles]

i jusr recently got into shameless and have been on the hunt for gallavich content and your blog is so perfect ive spent the whole day reading through ALL your gallavich posts you get them more than the writers do. Anyways u had a post where in the tags you talked about the possibilities of gallavich where noel fisher was actually mickeys age and the loss of buck toothed twink 17 year old mickey and I SUPPORT. Thinking about s2 mickey (in looks) with s11 ian is too much like the size diff UGH😫

hello and welcome to my dark twisted mind. gallavich spins in my head like a microwave i know them so well because theyre an intrustic part of my neurological function i have absorbed them thru osmosis and they live inside me now

seriously its easy to forget but mickey was a CHILD when he experienced the horrors in the show 🥺 even shorter, crooked teeth with a big gap, with that air of awkwardness only teens can have

a lot of s1-3 gallavich narrative moments were directly influenced by the actors' ages. i wonder how things couldve been different if they were different ages when casted? do you think the showrunners wouldve had them kiss sooner? how would their on-screen chemistry be effected if we were more of peers off-screen rather than noel fisher being a mentor for cameron monaghan? its such an interesting topic, but obviously everything happens for a reason and noel fisher at that point in his career was PERFECT for mickey

i also think some fans get too attached to on-scren portrayals of characters. like obviously mickey is a fictional character played by a much older actor, hes actually a natural strawberry blond, the markers are drawn on with literal sharpie. as audience members we are expected to suspend our disbelief and not take everything literally. mickey is mickey, not (several-times-snubbed-by-john-wells) actor noel fisher. mickey is a kid. hes a natural brunet. his tattoos are real. even though thats not reality, we are to understand that this show exists somewhere else and not here. another example is in s11 when mickey alludes to not working out despite having a body you can only get from working out 😭 idk i guess what im getting at is id love to see more portrayals that are less literal? like him with his big ass tooth gap and noodle arms. the absurd gallavich size difference. actually being able to see/read him growing up physically and mentally. same with other characters. like MY s1 ian did NOT straighten his hair so i love to imagine it much more curly and messy (i know that poor kid was not using products for his hair type). or like can you imagine fiona looking barely college-aged? how much more IMPACTFUL that is for her story of being a mother to her FIVE siblings? or putting more or less weight on characters, changing minute physical attributes because it fits the character, not the actor portraying them... like we are the creators of our own realities we can truly do whatever we want. HASHTAG MAKE MICKEY EVEN MORE BLORBO SHAPED!!!

[sugaredrhubarb]

tag game!

tagged by: @winterrose527

name: Ru (or some variation thereof)

pronouns: she/her

where do you call home: big city Canadian girl

favorite animal: otters

cereal of choice: honey nut cheerios - was a no sugary cereal kid

visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner: visual/auditory

first pet: cats!

favorite scent: lavender/lilac scents that remind me of my childhood garden

do you believe in astrology: i think it's fun! love to do compatibility matches with friends or little quizzes and there are def times when I feel it might be accurate but I don't base anything off of it. if someone who knows their shit ever gives me certain advice I would keep it in mind. (I'm a Capricorn and this answer is maybe very Capricorn coded?)

how many playlists do you have on your music service of choice: I kinda recently cleaned mine out so only like 10 butttt Im the type to get really into like one album or playlist and just have that on repeat

sharpies or highlighters: pastel highlighters <3 had a huuggee collection of mostly unused sharpies in middle school

song that makes you cry: last song I sobbed to was call your mom by noah kahan

but also if you ever wanna just be a girl feeling things to all the girls who cry by the secret sisters

song that makes you happy: jack johnson banana pancakes for a warm slow happy / everyone should revisit the clueless soundtrack for a nostalgic upbeat kinda happy

and finally, do you write/draw/create: i write creatively for myself but most of my energy is pretty consumed by academics :/

any moots who see this and wanna do it please! love learning random inconsequential details about people :)))))

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

tagged by @ragnarokhound <3

name: kai (yes im a trans man named kai, its a good name, okay?)

pronouns: he/they

where do you call home: eh the general answer is west of england, midlands and up. theres a sentimental answer but its a pretty small area so im not gonna potentially dox myself in a tag game dhdjsjs

favourite animal: walrus all the way, baby! although my url is actually unrelated to my love of walruses. theyre just the best animals, theyre big old chunky boys with two big front teeth that can grow to over 3ft in length. when on land, they huddle together in cuddle piles. AND mama walruses can use their flippers to pick up their babies and cuddle them to their chest; tell me thats not the cutest thing youve heard today.

cereal of choice: im not really a cereal person or like a breakfast person at all, but if im having it, golden nuggets or nothin'

visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner: ...all of them? idk, it depends on what im learning. auditory probably less so than the others just because my auditory processing isnt just trash, its trash the binmen wont take.

first pet: my parents had four cats before they had me and my brother so i guess them? they were thomas, alfred, cally and misty. my uncle, who incidentally doesnt believe in seatbelts, named alfred.

favourite scent:

no but seriously i have a very strong scent of smell which is part of why im such a picky eater like im yet to meet a food that smelt bad and tasted good, but i just,,,, dont have a favourite scent?

my brother gave me a lynx body spray of his he didnt want pretty soon after i came out the third time, as trans this time, and its definitely a he got the spirit moment so i guess that.

do you believe in astrology: nah, its not my thing really. all the more to you if its yours as long as you dont try to ascribe my behaviour to me being a taurus, thats the mental illness or the autism or the adhd or the neurological disorder thats pushing my eyes out of my skull very slowly.

how many playlists on spotify/apple music: 28 which is more than i thought i had. right now, theres only like 3 im cycling through named dead reckoning, the old swan, and dutch angle / danish pastry.

sharpies or highlighters: yeah so like, we could never afford sharpies in my house so its highlighters my default. sharpies are like mega expensive in the uk and by mega expensive, i mean unaffordable for a child of a working class single parent.

songs that make you cry: hmm. thats kinda difficult because whether i cry depends almost entirely on my mood. if i had to name some, i guess id go with:

a little fall of rain, turning and empty chairs at empty tables from the london cast recording of les mis (its vital to specify this, okay?); george blagdens secret? recording of drink with me; breathe from in the heights; flowers, doubt comes in, promises, gone im gone, and we raise our cups from hadestown (are you sensing a theme yet?); unruly heart from the prom; here i go again specifically from the rock of ages musical (and NOT the tom cruise movie, i saw this musical live and i cried); i know where ive been by queen latifah, and also from pretty much any hairspray cast recording; if i met myself again, ugly in this ugly world and hes my boy from everybodys talking about jaime and i have sobbed at all three of these songs.

and finally: grandmas song, deep into the ground, he could be a star and once we were kids from billy elliot, and yes i cry at most of act 2, i was raised working class in a working class area that was once revered for its industry and has since been forgotten and left to drown in poverty, how am i meant to not cry at it?

songs that make you happy: hmm again. throw the entirety of the first mamma mia soundtrack onto the list. then welcome to paradise & coming clean by green day (when i was a very depressed teenager, listening to green day always made me feel better, both about the world and about myself); the irony of choking of a lifesaver by all time low because its moms favourite song of theirs and weve gone to see them live five times together; merry christmas maggie thatcher from billy elliot because fuck that bitch; legend of coco chanel from everybodys talking about jaime; sexy from the mean girls musical; do it for your lover by manel navarro; strangers & i dont want to talk about me by stereo jane (the strangers music video is so fucking bisexual yall); king of my heart by sub-radio; ghost ship of cannibal rats by billy talent; carpe diem by joker out; who the hell is edgar by teya and salena; let me entertain you by robbie williams because i sang it in karaoke as a 7 year old who did not know the words and then proceeded to get obsessed with robbie fucking williams for a while; slipping away by materia; and 68 guns by the alarm which is a funny little one because it reminds me of my dad but i still enjoy the song and ive made a conscious choice not to limit my music taste just because some asshole whos not even a good hobby ghost hunter likes it too, you know?

do you write/draw/create: all three! granted i havent done much of the first two in a while, but on my defense, losing 7-8 months worth of your memories kind of fucks you up and its oddly time consuming. also developing fainting attacks and spending a week in hospital while they fail to figure out whats wrong with you other than weirdly low blood pressure does not help. but i do have a drawing planned out to do and while i went a little too much detail on one small detail (i will justify it as soon as i actually finish it), im going to finish it. i also do origami pretty often as well as baking, and i am currently building a wooden replica of the titanic AND LISTEN, i started before the titan submersible stuff happened and i havent touched it yet because it just feels weird to, you know? also, i didnt even want to do the titanic, but like, good luck finding any starter kits that arent a) titanic and b) upwards of a £100. i would love to do a ss malolo or a mts stockholm but that aint happening and while i might be able to find an ss normandy or ss united states, im not gonna be able to afford. its titanic or bust which sucks.

tagging but no pressure: @bottlesandbarricades @vaellusvitutus @rad-roach

[tiawesomeness]

In my last year of high school I had this one art class with a little extra room off to the side for if you wanted to not work in the main area, and like half way through the year one kid who i already didn't really like started putting little pictures of andrew tate on the wall, around where i would work or stare when i zoned out.

when it started i would grafiti them with sharpie but on a particularly bad day there was alot of them and i went "okay im going to the bathroom if i see another picture of andrew tate i am going to scream" and when i got back, the pictures where everywhere and i had a full on fucking breakdown and tore as many up as i could find while crying.

I dont remember what happened to the kid who do it, though in my case they didnt stop completely, it just stopped being every day thing. Unfortunately for me nobody else cared about the pictures so i was alone in this but hey, atleast i tried to do something

To anyone wondering if it's worth it to tear down fascist posters or whatever. I spent a few months last year engaged in silent battle with another student at my school who was putting anti trans stickers up everywhere. I had it down to a system where every night I would walk the five block radius they went up in, and tear down all the ones I could reach, and use a stick to put duct tape over the others. Like, within hours of the stickers going up, I would have already purged the whole zone. I knew the basic schedule of whoever put them up based on when and where the stickers appeared. I probably could have found them in person if I'd wanted to. And I told all my classmates and friends what the stickers looked like and got them to rip them down too. And after a few months of this, the stickers slowed, and then stopped forever.

My point is, a lot of this fashy or right wing stuff is one local weirdo. And if you pay attention, and do a little light organizing with your friends, you can basically make their efforts into a giant sisyphisean exercise in misery. You control your streets!

[yourbonafidelove]

Mumble Pon Me - About Last Night

I don't know how to change who I am to deflect their advances [Like I mean you can die and never worry about it again or... idk]

Coming up to sit beside me on the bleachers, Its one thing to tell me about your kids that disrespect you and talk down to you, It is another to see the cancer and the sharpie lines on my feet, And mumble at a level you know I can't hear But my brain is straining to focus and catch And then you sit there, beside me yet behind your glasses (And Im here again, trying to escape the Honda CRV that night) You tell me "that is why you stay single" And I tell you that Im single because the last guy that tried me hit a train and is currently rotting and being eaten by bugs.

Why do I have to go into this to tell you to get the fuck away from me I hide behind my glasses for safety You are using yours to get away with what youre getting off on

"The dogs them a bark"

It leaves pain above my left eye and down my ear My left eye is closing in pain and struggle in front of you And you sit there and get off on it, keep talking

"The dogs them a bark" and the Memorial Garden lights go on. It must be the 8pm or sunset timer. But the dogs them a bark --- there isn't any around, but I how mine would proceed

.....

[alasmydearatlas]

im trying to think of what to tell people about study abroad when i get back

like what r they gonna ask me

what do i tell kids

what do i tell adults

fav parts: cafes (excellent pastries and espresso based drinks), traveling (so easy and central), experiencing so many of those things you often only dream about (standing on top of the alps, swimming in the Mediterranean), understanding more what culture is and how it forms and how it then shapes people, being in your 20's in the city, clubbing (party scene in general), the thunderstorms, living in the countryside, having dedicated time to grow and spend time with myself, the just sheer number of movie moments

least fav parts: how lonely it was, feeling like an outsider constantly, getting paper mail, being so far from my friends and boyf, falling out of touch with people, missing out on things back home, loosing money all the time, how hard being an adult alone is (housing, insurance, school, phone plan, work, cooking, cleaning), living far from my friends, the time difference, feeling guilty and unappreciative, awkward living sitch, feeling trapped and unable to go home, awful service and wifi, how it's an awkward length of time, jealousy/fomo

what i've learned: there is so much power in community and people who you can ask questions and share experiences and companionship with

sometimes u gotta put your big girl pants on and ask an irl person for help

it's often not as big of a deal when you fuck up as you think

many mistakes are fixable

ignoring things doesn't make them go away it only makes them scarier

the power of designated scary admin task time (with a little treat!)

people are not out to get you and if they didn't invite you, it's not a personal slight

everyone has a diff financial situation and starts from different points so again. comparing just kinda hurts you.

too much idle time makes me sad

not leaving the house makes me sad

you have to put effort into relationships in order to keep them going - it doesn't always have to be hours of phone calls, but just keep touching base :)

i am allowed to take up space and don't have to concede my own space and comfort for the sake of "politeness"

the importance of an actual (pref warm) meal

distance does not fix problems, they just come along with you (it does shift your perspective a bit tho)

that i am actually very brave and capable

a mellow living space is very imporant to me (nature heavy :D )

i enjoy a decorated space - still not a minimalist

i love my creature comforts and having been in a place for a while (like sharpies and my good knife and mattress topper and two pairs of headphones and yerbs and my shoesss)

how taxing moving is

how taxing moving alone is

people do not hate me

i have really grown and healed a lot of the scared hatful hurt scared angry wounded parts of me that i clung to so tightly when i was a little younger

living life a little slower really isn't a problem :)

[talagirl]

the world if superhero comics began exploring the realistic implications of superpowers on both the individuals day to day life and on society as a whole

[skele8rity]

Crayon

send me a word and ill tell you a fact about myself related to that word!

i think this happens to like... every aspiring artist, but, like. okay. scenario:

i am an artist. i have lots of art supplies, and as ive gotten older ive accrued some very QUALITY art supplies that are fragile, expensive, or some other form of requiring some sort of special attention.

the rest of my family are not artists, for the most part. not the sort that i am. many of them have children! and all of them know i have many, many art supplies, and the kids do too, and kids just friggin LOVE doing arts and crafts with me.

so.

you ever have to go out and get a bunch of fallback art supplies for a bunch of kids to use, just because your family will get absolutely DISGUSTINGLY offended when you dont particularly want small children using, wasting, breaking, and god knows what else to all the art supplies that you had to save up your money for MONTHS just to get? (': because i think about that a lot. i have a pencil box of crayons, crayola pencils, and washable markers just for this. to this day. i am 25 years old and still have this issue.

also my favorite crayola crayon when i was real little was always scarlet. i loved the HECK out of scarlet.

[fandomlit]

we don’t talk about dream (dream x reader)

summary (slight!au for convenience, really) tommy grew up in fear of the man he never truly knew. but as he grew older and old secrets come into light during the development of l’manburg, tommy searches for answers about the name that many no longer say.

warning swearing, mentions of murder

a/n yes, this was totally to feed my simultaneous dream smp and encanto addictions. no further questions (it’s got a slow start but i promise it gets better!!!!)

gif cred belongs to @calamardo-sad

“send tommy to the basement, they said,” tommy mimicked, his voice high pitched in his muttering despite mocking his father’s words. he opened the loud door to the basement of his childhood home. “he can find it, they said.” he huffed out, flicking at the light switch. nothing happened. he flickered at it a few more times before groaning out. “you’re fucking kidding.”

he rubbed a hand down his face as he stared into the darkness of the basement, the wooden stairs the only thing visible to him at that angle. still, his chest filled with childish fear.

tommy sighed. “stupid technoblade and his stupid birthday..” he began down the stairs, still rambling angrily to himself. “why would he want to look through that stupid journal anyway? he probably couldn’t understand anything that’s written in there anyway..” he groaned again at the sea of boxes awaiting him. “im the best fucking brother ever for this.”

he weaved through the dusty boxes, squinting at the old sharpie to make out what was written on them while muttering about how wilbur owed him. it took him ten minutes before he finally made out a faint ‘technoblade’ on a pile of boxes. he sighed again heavily, dropping to his knees and getting to the real search.

it would have been a nice, nostalgic feeling going through them had it not been for the layers of dust that kicked into his face at every other thing he pulled out of the boxes. finally, after sneezing and coughing more than he had in his entire life, tommy found a box of old books and journals.

he grabbed out the journals--three small books with a child’s shorthand proclaiming ‘techno’ on the front of it. tommy smiled slightly, feeling a small weight lift off his shoulders. he was about to open one, take a look at young technoblade’s thoughts, when he heard something fall behind him.

his head immediately snapped over, eyes drawn to a shining object that caught the slight glint of light in the dark basement. he tucked the journals under his arm and cautiously headed over to the object.

kneeling down by it, tommy realized it was an old disc peeking out of its cover. he slipped it back in before picking up the casing. he nearly dropped it again when he saw what was written on.

‘FROM DREAM’

growing up, dream was a household name for tommy. from his brother’s scheming of rising up and breaking dream’s tyrannical foundation, to the fight for l’manburg itself, tommy grew to live in fear of the man he had only met twice; once, he was too young to remember, and again when the man threatened his life on his own doorstep. and yet, that was still years ago.

so why was a disc with his name on it in their basement?

tommy held it up to the light more, blood rushing loudly in his ears. when he saw what else was written, he actually did drop the disc, yelping as though it had burned him.

‘TO TOMMY’

tommy knelt down slowly, his breathing suddenly heavy with the fear that filled his chest. his hands were shaking as he went to grasp the disc, seeing it was anything like those he had collected. maybe it was one he had stolen from him.

but when he went to pull the disc from its casing, only a portion of it came out. tommy shook the case, and the rest of the broken pieces scattered onto the floor; at least eight different portions of the disc from a man who almost killed his entire family and country.

“shit.”

...

tommy sighed at the laid out pieces of the broken disc. “why is this here for me, dream?”

the loud creak of the front door opening made tommy flinch, quickly wheeling around and brushing the broken pieces further behind his back. karl stood in the doorway, looking curiously over at tommy with a box in hand.

“karl!” tommy exclaimed breathlessly. “jesus, man, you scared me.”

“sorry, sorry,” the man shrugged with a huff. “i was dropping off some things for philza when i, uh..” he placed down the box and looked over at tommy again. “heard the name we don’t speak.”

right. tommy had forgotten about the country’s superstition; never say dream’s name, for he has ears everywhere.

“right, uh, sorry,” tommy coughed. karl just turned away, probably going to get another box from outside. “but..” the brunette turned to him again. “if there were to be anything said about dream..”

“we don’t talk about dream,” karl reiterated, holding up his hands to stop tommy from pressing the topic. he already seemed stressed at just the thought of the man. 

“but-”

“tommy, i would drop it,” he shook his head, eyes shifting out the doorway.

tommy couldn’t help it--if anyone were to know anything, it would be karl. that guy seemed to have limitless information at his disposal. “but say that, in theory, d- he,” karl raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, “was out for you.. what would he do?”

before karl even had the chance to try to lecture him, sapnap burst through the door, another box in hand. “he was nightmare!”

“sap!” karl pleaded, tugging at his arm after he placed the box down.

“karl, he deserves to know,” sapnap brushed, beginning toward tommy. “he would make terrible promises, manipulate you until you didn’t know what was true, and then BOOM!” tommy flinched when sapnap lurched suddenly toward his face. “and there was nothing you could do.”

“sapnap, please!”

“what if you didn’t know whether or not he was coming after you?” tommy rushed out. “what would you do if you didn’t know where you stood with him?”

“well, you’d better figure it out,” sapnap warned, shaking his head. “because he was coming for you.” before tommy could ask anything else, karl wedged his way between them and pushed sapnap away.

“we don’t talk about dream!” he proclaimed, loud and adamant. “okay? not since..” karl sighed out. sapnap placed a hand on his husband’s shoulder as his head dropped. there was a moment of tense silence where guilt creeped at tommy’s heart before karl’s bright, passionate eyes turned to him again.

“i’ll talk about him just this once,” karl spoke seriously. “but then never again.” tommy nodded fervently, discreetly sweeping the broken vinyl pieces into one of the set out bowls as sapnap lead his husband to sit down. “it was our wedding day.. we were getting ready when it started raining.”

“it wasn’t ideal, but it was just a little rain,” sapnap cut in. karl sent him a light glare.

“right, we weren’t going to let that ruin our wedding,” karl continued. tommy nodded. he vaguely remembered their wedding; it had only been a few years ago.. but he didn’t remember anything about dream. “then dream happened. all we saw was a lightning strike-”

“the kind that can only happen from a trident summoning it,” sapnap clarified and karl hit his arm.

“are you telling this story, or am i?”

sapnap smiled at his husband, grabbing the hand that just hit him and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. tommy would’ve gagged had he not been so focused on the main point of the story. “im sorry, darlin’. go on.”

karl rolled his eyes with a smile, turning back to tommy. “well, whenever lightnings starts.. it doesn’t stop.” sapnap squeezed his husband’s hand. “one thing lead to another, the weather turned into a full-fledged storm by the time of the reception--practically a hurricane!”

“i do remember that,” tommy nodded. “the wedding moved into your house after that. phil had me and techno move all the tables inside.”

“it was still the most amazing day of our lives,” sapnap reaffirmed. “we didn’t let that idiot ruin it, but.. after that day we started living by the superstition.”

“we don’t talk about dream,” karl spoke as he stood from the table. “so whatever this new curiosity you have, tommy..” him and sapnap looked at him seriously. “i would drop it.”

...

he didn’t drop it.

“well, we all grew up fearing him,” tubbo shook his head. “but even now, he’s everywhere. always mumbling, planning.. i bet he practically lives in l’manburg.”

“you think?” tommy questioned. him, tubbo, and ranboo were sitting on the outskirts of the country, lounging in the shade of a large tree when tommy “casually” brought up the feared man again.

“there’s no way he just left us alone after all that’s happened,” tubbo continued. “it’s been nearly two years since the war ended, but it’s not over. not really. not as long as he’s out there.” tommy and ranboo shared an uneasy look. “i associate him with the sound of the shifting stone. every time we hear that loud shift, president soot always says it’s the wall settling, but i think it’s dream. he’s probably watching us from our very own wall.

“and he scares them all. leaves the president and the entire country fumbling at just the sound of his name. just the idea of him.” tubbo sat up straight. “one day, i’m going to be president. and i’m going to defeat dream once and for all.”

tommy thought for a moment. “why do you think they fear him so much?”

“he’s unpredictable,” tubbo shrugged. “he’s manipulative, he’s crazy.. he’s someone you can’t quite figure out. no one understands.” tubbo brushed some of his hair out of his wide eyes to look clearly at tommy. “do you understand?”

…

“he’s seven feet tall,” wilbur spoke ominously but strongly, voice taunting, “weapons strapped along his back..” he circled his younger brother like a vulture and tommy found himself wishing he had never come to visit. “remember that day, all those years ago, when he came to visit?” tommy didn’t get to answer before wil was back in front of him, speaking, “you say you only remember him saying your name before it all faded to black.

“he knows when you’re thinking about him,” wilbur continued, tone growing more ferocious as he walked forward. every step he took, tommy took one back. fear grew in his heart. “and i bet he practically feasts on the memory of your scream that day. treasures it like your disc.” tommy hit the wall with a small yelp in surprise.

“so stop. talking. about. him.” wilbur’s eyes were furious. “if i hear again that you’re asking around about dream, i’m bringing philza into it. and i’ll rethink the vice presidency thing we talked about.” then wilbur walked away, leaving tommy to gulp with fear. he called back one final, “we don’t talk about dream.”

…

“i don’t know much,” niki offered quietly, shifting her bread basket on her arm. “once he told me he’d kill my fox, and the next day it was dead.” she shook her head, continuing her walk that tommy had interrupted. “i wouldn’t go around asking about him, tommy. nothing good can come from it.”

tommy frowned.

…

“dream?” badboyhalo sounded, looking taken aback by the younger boy’s question. “i never really liked him.. we were okay, kind of, until a few rougher things happened..” bad shook his head, finally looking into tommy’s eyes. “last time i saw him, he said i would end up drunk and crazy with a beer gut if i continued to follow the egg. and i’ve already got body image issues, so..” bad shrugged with a wave. “wouldn’t trust him. that’s what i tell myself.”

tommy watched with wide, slightly-amused eyes as bad walked away.

…

“he told me that my sight would disappear,” eret spoke, deep voice sending a chill down tommy’s spine as he whipped off his sunglasses, “now look at my eyes!” tommy flinched with fear at the empty orbs stared at him. then eret laughed out, offering a charming smile. “just kidding. i was born like this.”

“jesus, man..,” tommy huffed. he was often understood and appreciated eret’s humor, but it could be annoying when tommy had a goal in mind. he wanted answers, not jokes.

“i wouldn’t go around asking about dream so freely, tommy,” eret shrugged, pushing his sunglasses back onto his nose. “you never know who you can trust these days because of him--anyone could be a spy. even me.” tommy tensed for a moment, furrowing his brow skeptically as eret walked past him. “im kidding, im kidding! ..kinda.” and the man walked away and laughed, leaving tommy more annoyed than before.

...

“why are you asking that?��� george spoke slowly and unsurely.

“i..,” tommy began, trailing off. he didn’t know whether or not to be honest. “i don’t know. i think im at the age where i can finally understand and know a little about him. and i want to know.”

george just frowned, looking at the grass below them. he spoke slowly and quietly, “dream was.. he was strange with me. he was protective of me for the majority of our friendship, before i realized that his idea of “protection” was just plain manipulation.” he looked up and shrugged at tommy. “he would always tell me that everything i wanted was promised to me, and would someday be mine. i felt..” he shook his head with honest shame. tommy was listening intently at this rate; this was the most open he had ever seen george. “powerful. but i think my power only really grew when i was finally away from him.

“dream is complicated,” george continued, crossing his arms. “he does things only for his own benefit. whatever you’re asking around for, you’re only going to find the same answer; dream is a terrible man who did terrible things.” george picked up the bag he had laid on the ground. “that’s just the truth.” and he walked away without saying anything else.

tommy stood in the shade for a moment as he processed.

...

it was sunset when tommy finally reached your house. he took a deep breath before heading around back, where he knew you would be lounging by this time.

“tommy?”

you were reading a book on your lit up back porch, enjoying the cool evening breeze as the sun dipped below the horizon. your eyes were on him, brows raised curiously. he coughed out, “hey, y/n. how-”

“i know why you’re here,” you cut in. he silenced himself immediately, watching as you bookmarked your book before turning looking up at him again with a solemn smile. you waved a hand to the seat across from you. “let’s talk.”

tommy slowly sank into the comfortable chair, heart beginning to beat nervously. he began, “so..” but he didn’t know where to begin, and frankly was a little embarrassed that word of his curiosity had gotten back to you. he prayed it hadn’t found wilbur again. he shook his head--this was you. the most comfortable, kind person he knew. there was no reason to freeze up now. “.. where do i start?”

you offered him a short chuckle. “let me start.” tommy nodded, turning his body toward you. “george told me you were coming, by the way.” tommy pursed his lips. “and sapnap before that.” 

“yeah,” tommy coughed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “just.. covering all of the bases, i guess.”

you nodded, not looking at him. “i don’t know what has you so curious, but..” you shrugged. “if anyone around here is going to silence that mind of yours.. it might just be me.” tommy raised his eyebrows in the slightest, but your gaze remained on the small table between your seats. “dream was the most honest with me. he, uh, told me loved me after all.”

“do you not believe it?” tommy cut in. when you looked up, he quickly added, “sorry.”

“no, you’re fine,” you assured, shaking your head at him. “i did, at one point, but.. i don’t know what i believe about him anymore.” you paused, hugging one of your knees to your chest as you spoke, “dream used to tell me that we were meant for each other. that he was the man i was supposed to be with, that i was the one of his dreams. and if i were to ever leave him..” you shook your head to yourself, busying your hands with brushing your hair out of your face. “if he ever were to be out of reach, i would realize that i could never love again.”

“he was in love with you,” tommy summarized and you pursed your lips. “but you don’t know whether it was truly love or.. i don’t know, mania?”

“yeah,” you affirmed. “i left him before sapnap and george parted. he-he wanted to lock me down, keep me caged. and i couldn’t bear it.” you stood from your seat, finally meeting eyes with tommy’s wary gaze. “i know you’ve heard it a thousand times before, but please, tommy..” your pleading gaze sent a chill down his spine. “we don’t talk about dream.”

tommy gulped and nodded. the distant bell of the hours changing broke your focus. you looked into the distant sky with a sigh, “i’ve got to get changed. i have to be at the white house in an hour.”

“the white house?” tommy questioned, rising from his own seat. “why?”

“technoblade’s coming for dinner,” you explained, heading toward your back door, “and i think wilbur’s taking it as a chance to finally set us up.” you paused in your doorway as tommy raised his eyebrows. “i’ll see you there?”

“yeah,” he nodded, voice quieter than he would have liked. you just nodded in return and disappeared inside your house.

as tommy walked away, pondering dream’s obsession for you, he couldn’t help but shiver at the feeling of being watched.

...

tommy’s mind was swirling with a million thoughts when he returned to his house. quickly, he drew out the bowl he had swept the vinyl pieces into a few days prior. he poured them out onto the table, nearly ten pieces to a puzzle he didn’t know if he was ready to piece together. but he had bought some epoxy a day prior to try.

he began to piece together the vinyl, keeping an eye on the kitchen clock. 

we don’t talk about dream.

he was a nightmare!

three pieces were cleanly fitted to each other.

wouldn’t trust him. that’s what i tell myself.

dream used to tell me we were meant for each other.

it felt as if the entire house was on edge.

... and the next day it was dead.

we don’t talk about dream.

his hands were shaking as he tried the last few pieces.

practically a hurricane!

weapons strapped along his back..

the second the record was laid out, altogether at last, tommy shakily poured the epoxy along the cracks. his heart was racing, and he raked a stressed hand through his hair as he checked the clock once more. he’d have to wait for the glue-like substance to settle before he could toss the record onto a player, but he didn’t have enough time to wait for it. then, the front door slammed open.

“hey, tommy! you better get your nice shirt on, ‘cause techno is com- ing...” tommy turned to philza in absolute fear, listening as phil’s words trailed off when he spotted the disc on the table. his eyes were locked directly on the small green ring that outlined the center, jaw dropping slowly as tommy’s veins filled with horror, weakly attempted to cover the pieced disc. but the damage had already been done.

“i-i..,” tommy sputtered before the dam holding him together finally broke, and he rushed out in nearly one breath, “you sent me to the basement for techno’s gift, and i found a disc with my name on it from dream, but i broke it!, and i tried to ask around for clues but wilbur yelled at me, and karl’s furious, and i think.. dream’s after me?” the last part wasn’t meant to be so much of a question, but tommy could barely think of the inflection of his words when philza’s usually fatherly blue eyes looked so mortified.

his father took a few slow steps forward, painfully loud in the silent house.

“phil?”

philza gently pushed tommy to the side to view the cracked disc in full. he practically watched as his father’s chest filled and released with air, the expression in his eyes changing every moment as his eyes swirled with a thousand thoughts. his feathers were both literally and metaphorically ruffled.

then, the town’s bell rang in the distance and philza seemed to resolve. he glanced back at the door before to the disc.

“here’s what we’re going to do,” phil began, clearing his throat. he rushed over to grasp a plate from the cabinet. “we shut our mouths. wilbur is using tonight as a chance to finally reconnect technoblade and y/n after so many years of being on opposing sides, and we are not ruining that.” philza gently swept the drying disc onto the plate. “so for tonight, we are not thinking about dream, dream is not thinking about you, this disc does not exist, and we are one, big, happy, dream-less nation.” philza grasped lightly at tommy’s shoulders. tommy felt intensely guilty for the worry in his father’s composed orbs. “no one has to know. not as long as we keep quiet. no one has to know.” tommy nodded fearfully.

a noise at the door made them both jump in the slightest. they slowly turned their heads toward the creaking noise to see the silhouette of ranboo’s looming figure, mismatched eyes wide as he stared into the house. 

“i know.”