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gb-patch · 3 years

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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through?

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!!

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available?

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove?

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter)

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game!

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you?

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you!

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something?

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2?

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates?

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird?

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot!

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^!

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets?

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update? I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive.

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3?

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something.

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants?

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations?

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted?

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia.

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all?

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w;

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips?

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!!

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #xoxo droplets #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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tinysatansierra-blog · 4 years

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Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment.

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit. so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety. another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said. now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people) they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content and im going to repeat this point IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

#markiplier #transphobia #trans pride #lgbtq #muslim #huniepop #markiplier manor #pro choice #toxic groups #toxic fanbase #sia #music the movie #problematic content #huniepop2 #albeism #hypocrisy #hypocrites #discord

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1128

[created by: pinkchocolate]

When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Wednesday when Bea had food delivered to my house. One of our clients was hosting a roundtable session and our task was to order food to be delivered to the attendees’ house, and it turns out she snuck in an order for me as well.

It was super touching and I tried to do a nice deed yesterday by getting food for her as well; but as I mentioned on my previous survey, I got paired with a scammer delivery guy instead who ended up stealing my order...that I already paid for... :( It was such a flop and I ended up having to give away the surprise to Bea since I had to check if she received it, and that’s when I learned she never got anything. I’ll try again next week or whenever I get my money refunded, hahaha.

What color was the last fruit or vegetable that you ate? Green (green onion).

Is there a compliment you've received, that sticks in your mind? I like it whenever I’m told I write well, since that’s my main talent and it’s always nice to be complimented on my skills.

The last time you received a gift, what did the wrapping paper look like? I have no idea but probably red/green and holiday-themed since it most likely had been a Christmas gift.

What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Not reading anything.

If so, what did you specifically like about it?

Anyone you haven't talked to in a while, that you'd like to hear from? Not really. It’d be cool to hang out with Sofie again because I haven’t seen her since our little trip to Nasugbu, but I’m not necessarily waiting on a message from them.

When you were a kid, did you own any accessories with your name on? Probably a bracelet.

Do you own any items of clothing that you haven't yet worn? Yup. I got a yellow romper from one of my aunts for Christmas, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. It’s short and airy, so I’ll probably pull it out once the climate gets warmer again.

Were you awake before 8am today? Yeah, I got up at 4:30 earlier even though I fell asleep at like midnight. I think my body understands that my brain wants me to get as little sleep as possible during weekends so I can maximize my free time, so it woke me up by then.

Is there any food in your house at the moment, that you're looking forward to eating? I still have some of the chicken wings that Bea ordered for me. She got such a huge order and it’s taking me forever to finish the damn box of wings lol.

Is there anyone you know who dislikes the Internet, technology etc.? My grandma refuses to learn how to use a phone or laptop. Which confuses me because usually she’ll ask my mom to relay a message to one of her friends who are on Facebook, and my mom ends up playing messenger. Like pls just get at least a Facebook account if you want to keep keeping in touch with your acquaintances anyway :(((

Name any item in your bedroom that is blue. Trying to remember what’s in my room since I’m currently staying in the living room...and I think I have push pins that are blue.

Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Rocky road and Double Dutch. Marshmallows and/or nuts in my ice cream is a big nope.

Are there any cat cafes in your hometown? There could be but I’ve heard little of them. I’m more aware of existing dog cafes.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? I doubt it.

Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? It’s possible, but again I’m not in my room to check if that’s the case.

Do you know anyone named Abigail? Yes, my mom.

Do you ever use flavored lip balms? I don’t use lip balms at all.

^ If you do, what flavors do you like the most? Kate once had a peanut butter lip scrub that I loooooved to borrow. Other than that, the strawberry ones are nice too.

Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? My great-aunt once had a spaniel. Not sure about Irish setters.

What are your plans for the remainder of today? I wanna eat at La Creperie and spoil myself a litle bit, but we’ll see if I’ll have the energy to drive to the mall today. I’ll also have some work to do since we have a presentation on Monday :(

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, ideally that would’ve been the case but they thought differently. I admittedly still feel the same, but I’ve also since been able to move on and move forward. If that makes sense.

Who was your closest friend when you were 7 years old? Do you still speak to that person? I actually met Angela when we were 7. And yes, we’re still the best of friends. I just shot a birthday greeting video for her mom last night.

Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? Technically it was Cooper, but the last male person had been my dad. He does but for the most part he keeps it to a stubble.

How many times does the letter 'R' occur in your full name? Twice; in my first name and in my surname.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with 'S'? Sure, I can think of a couple of relatives whose names start with S.

What color is your TV remote? I haven’t used a remote in ages lmao, but if I remember correctly ours is mainly black.

When was the last time you went to a wedding? Who got married? 2007. My uncle and his then-girlfriend, who of course became my aunt when they wed. We’ve since had relatives who got married after that period, but for all those occasions only my parents received an invitation. It’s understandable though, I know they want to save up on costs and stuff.

Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. One Direction is the only group coming to mind.

Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? My 7th birthday gown was inspired by Cinderella’s, but it wasn’t the same exact dress as it was orange.

Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. I’ve never been able to understand the rules.

If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Mr. Goodbar has always been the least exciting chocolate to get hahaha.

Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Angela.

Do you own anything that has an image of a butterfly on it? Again, I could. I can’t think of any particular item, though.

Has anyone told you recently that they miss you? Yes, orgmates for the most part.

What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? HYD by Hayley Williams.

What color are the socks you're currently wearing? I’m not wearing any socks right now. < Me neither.

How many friends do you have whose name starts with the letter 'R'? Just Rita.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One. Two if you count y.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Last Saturday, I think.

Name someone you know who has curly hair. Andi.

Have you ever worn orange eye-shadow? Never tried.

Name a song that reminds you of someone close to you. Be Alright by Dean Lewis.

Has anyone ever walked out of your life with no explanation? Yeah but they tried very poorly to keep in touch. It ended up being detrimental to me more than anything else so I took the initiative to be one step ahead and cut ties altogether.

Do you know anyone else with the same first name as you? I can think of one Robyn and one Robin.

Think back to 10 years ago. What TV show(s) were you into? Wrestling programs were all I watched as a 13 year old.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt? What color is it? Yes, one of my wrestling shirts. It’s predominantly white but it has some black and red on it as well.

As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Yessssssss. I spent more time sniffing them than writing with them too, lol.

Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. I find whiskey pretty nasty. I hate beer as well but sometimes I gotta drink it, especially when socializing.

Do you own anything that previously belonged to someone else? I wouldn’t say I own them; they do belong to the original owner and I’m just still borrowing them.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? How did you meet them? That would be Angela haha; we met when we got assigned to be seatmates in 1st grade since our surnames were arranged alphabetically in class.

Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? No.

Can you recall the last time you were on a dance floor? March 2020, at a club with mostly Hans’s friends.

Have you ever let someone go, and then regretted it? No.

Do you own any color changing mood jewelry? Nope and I don’t believe in those either so I don’t see a reason why I should get my own.

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn't? It’s only 7:06 AM so I’ll refer to my plans yesterday instead – I wanted to continue working on a Google Slides presentation by nighttime, but I was so tired from my shift yesterday and even got a migraine that I never got around to it. I’ll have to work on it this weekend instead.

Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? I mean, hasn’t this been the case over the last year with the pandemic? I communicate mainly through social media now, if not through IM apps like Viber.

What color box does your favorite cereal come in? Don’t really like cereal. The closest thing I have to a ‘favorite,’ Cookie Crisps, comes in a white box, though.

Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Nah, don’t really like printed stuff. Angela had a customized Friends-themed mug made for me but I wouldn’t call it an ~illustration, since the main design is just my name styled in the Friends logo.

Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? I actually took a break from this survey to take Cooper for a walk, and I think I can confirm that I definitely have some kind of allergy to grass. My legs were super irritated the whole time and my skin has since turned reddish.

What is your favorite snack to eat with a hot beverage? Croissants.

Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? “Let your healing take time,” from Andi. He also accompanied it the advice with an anecdote about this basketball player who insisted on playing even while he was still dealing with an injury, and playing only aggravated that injury so he was forced to sit out for an even longer time than what was initially set for him. That was really helpful and I keep it close to me to this day.

What's the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Know when it’s enough and when to leave, and be kind to yourself.

Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah, I have like three thick ones. I just haven’t gotten the chance to touch them because for the meantime I only have cheap coloring pencils that start to get dull after a few strokes. I’ve yet to buy a more premium set of pencils.

When was the last time you got some new headphones? Headphones would be 2013 when my dad got me a pair of Beats. Not a big user so I haven’t felt the need to get new ones.

Is there a lamp in your living room? What color is its shade? No but my mom has wanting to get one for a while. She just can’t seem to find one that she likes.

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I went to high school with a Xenia. Super nice guy; we were close friends for a while since we were seatmates, and our friend groups also overlapped.

Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? Not yet. I will definitely be eating rice though, because Philippines.

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. I don’t like rice pudding at all, or oatmeal. But those are also taste issues as well as texture issues. < Oooh, oatmeal is a good one. I also could never enjoy marshmallows in my ice cream.

Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Angela.

Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? I wouldn’t say that. There will still always be a part of me that has some sort of feelings for my exes. But the extent to which I love them/care about them fades over time, thankfully. < Yeah, exactly.

^ If so, why do you think that happened?

If you have pets, do you talk to them? Sure.

Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? I tried to get into Grey’s Anatomy or Glee on Netflix, because they were “popular”, but I tried a few episodes, and just couldn’t seem to get into them. < OMG same again, especially with Grey’s??? I tried watching it a couple of weeks ago but I noped out as soon as I heard how poppish the theme song was. I’ve always thought it was a serious drama show but it turned out to have so many teen show elements to it that I was definitely taken aback. The script and some of the acting also kind of sucked, so that was a letdown.

Is there anything you haven't done lately, that you'd like to do soon? Coloring.

Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yes, my dad got me a Vegemite shirt from his last contract abroad hahah. He was staying in Australia and I asked him to get a jar of Vegemite so I can finally have a taste, but I think he was scared that I’d hate it and end up throwing out the whole jar so he just got me a shirt instead lol. I’ve also got a Nike shirt somewhere in my closet.

Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Surprisingly not. I’ve been longing to eat at La Creperie again but I’m not craving for anything particular.

Have you watched or read the news today? I watch the news every weeknight since we have it on during dinner.

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. Can’t see any books near me.

Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? There’s a McDonald’s literally beside our village, and beside it are a Shakey’s and a Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s also a Burger King right across. If you drive for like five more seconds, there’ll also be a Starbucks.

^ If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Only from Starbucks. I don’t really get fast food anymore.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to? Nothing yet so far.

#survey #surveys

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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I feel like I slept all day. Just the whole day. But thats not entirely true. It was a good day and I feel happy but yes slept a real good amount.

I woke up at 730 because I still had my alarm on. I laid in bed for a bit but eventually did get up. I honestly dont remember much of the morning. What did I even do??

I got dressed. I felt really cute. James asked if he could make me breakfast but I wasnt hungry. He would have to leave for work soon but we spent a little time together.

It was a nice morning but yeah I have apparently lost some time but it was a nice morning.

I did eventually get myself together to go to target! I had a list. I felt really cute. I went and got in the car. I got down the street. And I realzied I forgot the list. Ugh. Whatever I would end up remembering everything anyway but I was annoyed with myself.

It was a nice ride out. But target was very full. I parked in an empty part but it wouldnt matter because when I came out it was all full there too!! Wild.

I had a nice time though. I had to keep running through my head thinking about what I needed.

I got socks and citronella candles and some foods. It was nice to look around and walk and pick up nonsense. I felt really good about my purchases.

I also got new ear buds! My fake airpods have been slowly dying and hurting my ears. And I got some new ones that are made for smaller ears and honestly they are great so far. Great fit, great sound, I just hope the batter life is as good as promised.

The cashier was real nice too. He gave me $5 off and then a $5 giftcard?? No idea why. He said he had been waiting weeks to give to someone so maybe it was just because I was nice to him?? Unclear. But I appreciate it.

I texted James when I was done and he said I should order lunch. So I ordered chipolite. Give them another chance after my last order was so messed up. And this time was only marginally better.

I got home around noon. And my food was scheduled for 1220. Cool. Gives me some time to put things away. So I get inside and did that. Unpacked. Had to throw some old stuff away from the freezer to fit things. And folded all my new socks. And then I realized it was after 1220. I checked the website and it said my food wasnt even picked up yet.

But it was fine. I waited. I checked again at 1239 and it said it would be delivered in 2 minutes. I checked again and it said it was delivered! They didnt ring the bell?? I felt very annoyed about that.

But I got my food. And the bowl was right. But my chips and cheese were missing. This is the second time!! Why cant they get this right?? So I was slightly upset. I called the number and they refunded that part of the order. I just want chips and cheese. Made me upset.

But I ate and played a little animal crossing. Hung out with sweetP. I talked to my dad for fathers day. He sounded so happy. Like a lot happier then Ive heard him in a while. And honestly, we talked about the back ground white noise of pain when you just have chronic pain issues, and now that he doesnt have that as much his energy and focus can be back on being present. And it was so nice hearing his stories and hearing about his hobbies he's picked up. I miss him a lot and it was so nice to hear him.

I cleaned after that. Feels a lot better in here after that. Could have used a little more work but I was tired.

I went and laid in the studio and ended up falling asleep.

I woke up around 630. Which means I slept almost 3 hours. Not ideal. But James was home. He was baking cookies and getting ready for his trivia night.

I had a snack and hung out in the other room. It is always nice hearing him with his friends.

We are hanging out now. I have my first day of camp tomorrow!! Im going to go wash my face and make sure all my outfits are ready. I am really excited. Also nervous. But mostly excited!! I have to be there at 730 though so it is going to be a very early morning for me. So wish me luck. I hope you all have a great night tonight. And a wonderful day tomorrow. Goodnight everyone!

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embrues · 6 years

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*snoop dog vc* greetings loved ones let’s take another journey.. if you like insomniac boys with shitty pasts who don’t give a good goddamn who GOT that juicy redemption ark then do i have a deal for you ! for one easy payment of a fruit roll-up, you too could have this aforementioned fella ! ( there are absolutely no refunds bc i eat the payment immediately sorry )

☾*✧･ﾟ:*「 lee hoseok ( wonho ). transmale. he/him. 」did you know that there’s a human in seoul named hyun jitae? they have been here for their entire life and they are an officer. they are currently twenty-five and is not a part of the ju jak and does know about the magi. i heard that they are known to be pugnacious, but worry not ! i heard they are also very stalwart too. remember to stay out of trouble, the magi are lurking around every corner ! ( markus, nineteen, he/him, cst. )

tw for transphobia, abuse, in general just some awful parenting, violence and death.

so, let’s start from the beginning, where all full stories rightfully have to. born to a hunter and housewife, he was the third of three children and was the first girl of the family. his innocence could only last so long with the corruption in his bloodlines, an ancestry of hunters stretching many years through the hyun family and long standing supporters of the ju jak cause. it was a poison that was passed down to each generation when they matured and he would be no different.

his parents had been fairly lax, bringing his twin brothers up, two years his senior, but they toughened up when he was born. jitae was expected to be their picture-perfect child, ideally one who would marry into another family of hunters to keep the lineage going, seek out magi and do as he was told. from a young age, a gender divide was very much enforced upon him ; he was told that pink was for girls, blue was for boys and all the other ridiculous stereotypes. he wasn’t allowed to play with his brothers’ toys, even though he clearly had a much higher interest in them. they insisted on having him wear skirts, even though all he really wanted to do was steal his brothers’ shirts.

his father was always far too busy to be emotionally involved with anything he was up to, his mother, though she held the same ideals as his father did, was much more encouraging – even when he seemed to only want to throw mud outside with his brothers or spend his time sat quietly maneuvering small bugs around his hands. life seemed easier then, and if you ever were to ask he’d like to come back to here, the fragile and comfortable age of five.

at nine, he officially ditches his full name and takes on the shorter, snappier shortening of it, blatantly ignoring anything else. he also ditches a lot that was forced onto him, and begins to slowly tarnish the image that has been built around him – the first step in that is cutting off long, brilliant locks with a pair of safety scissors. ( he’s grounded for a solid month for that particular endeavor after a rather long beating, but they at least take him to a barber to clean up the botched job. )

up until he was about thirteen, the veil over his eyes remained. he’d always been warned to not get to curious what his father got up to in the late hours of the night, or why his brothers always went with him. up until then – and then shit starts to hit the fan when he is thrown head first into long training sessions. he finds comfort in ripped jeans and stolen shirts, cardigans and hoodies have become his safety net. at least, he surmises, he has this one thing that he could have for his own. ( even that was something borrowed, snagged from his brothers’ closets. ) his mother seems to catch on, discreetly leaves recently bought t-shirts sprinkled within his wardrobe. he dyes his hair blonde for a few months, not without strong opposition, before returning to his natural black – he’s experimenting, more than anything else, wants to smash as many of the buttons set in front of him as possible and come into his own instead of the mold he was crammed into. teacher often being an older cousin, or his elder brothers the days his father will allow, endurance and agility training quickly become his daily after-school activity. knives and hand-to-hand combat were his favorite though, each unfortunate mistake earned him a new nick or a bloodied lip when he wasn’t quite fast enough. wasn’t quite good enough. ( even though he resented his father, he wanted him to be proud. )

at fifteen, he starts sneaking out with his elder brothers whenever they can manage. instead of paying attention to their father’s long lectures on preparation and being adaptable, the three sit outside and complain together. his brothers smoke cheap cigarettes that they buy with their minimum wage ; he steals a drag here and there, and makes his brothers swear not to tell. ( he doesn’t really care if they do, though. maybe hopes that they did. ) gets much too competitive during short spars and more than satisfied when he can manage to beat any of his older relatives.

seventeen brings a new form of rebellion, but most notably confusion about his identity. his brothers wholeheartedly accept his requests to refer to him by jitae but his father remained adamant and bigoted in his ways. outbursts aimed at him became frequent, to be dubbed unfit for the family had brought more than feelings of rage within jitae but snapped something he didn’t know he had. halfway through that seventeenth year, he’s arrested for defacing of property. ( he may or may not have painted profanity in bold red letters on some unsuspecting victim’s vehicle. ) in homage to his first arrest, many long summer days spent doing community service.

at eighteen, it seems as if all the world’s anger has seeped into his body. where mischief and joy once lingered, pure hatred for the situation around him blackens his entire being. he starts getting into fistfights, and comes home ( more often than not ) at three in the morning. if his parents wanted to disown him before, they’re on the verge of it now ; they can’t stand who he has become, and it all comes to a very ugly head when he brings a girl home and his parents find out.

everything seems to click into place, somehow working in his favor that makes even his nihilism fall silent. his father gives up the prospect of the short fuse having any use as a hunter, and that’s his chance and he takes it. flees their family home with well wishes from his older brothers who offer him a hand, an out. he politely declined, his pride always more prominent that the two combined. he lives in something like peace, it’s quiet and almost maddeningly so but he maybe can equate that to comfort. eventually manages to get access to hormone therapy, taking up a job as a cashier for some local understaffed business that was understaffed. he manages, daily phone calls to his concerned mother who’s always sure to tell him that his father still does love him. ( fat chance, he’d always butt in before she can finish the phrase. )

easing into a monotonous pattern of life comes with great difficulty but he does manage, heads to the gym near religiously everyday to work away any stresses. learning to loosen when strangers smile at him, even smiles back some days. things were fine, a little rough but fine. he’s on the cusp of twenty-four when he gets the call from his hysteric mother, his father has been killed. things.. things change then. he heads back home because he cannot abandon his mother there and leave grief to eat away at her. ( like slipping on an old glove- it fits perfectly yet it was unfamiliar. he thinks maybe this is how life truly spits in his face. ) what comes next can only be described as a domino effect.

he takes up the torch, when he knows he shouldn’t and even with the reasoning voices of his brothers. he had fallen back into the cavern he worked so hard to crawl out of, a stout pillar of the ju jak standard all over again. he is certain he doesn’t have the strength to make the climb up a second time. he keeps a pistol holstered to his thigh, a trained eye on everyone around him. heavy circles are a stain under his eyes, the scars that litter the canvas of his body remind of a past almost escaped. ( something screams that this is what he was made for, BORN FOR. NOW HERE’S THE KICKER ; he knows that once he slips, he will not rise & will only greet depravity like an old friend. )

but he doesn’t. with the reappearance of a certain elder hyun, the decision to drop his role as a hunter, fall from the ju jak emerges and it doesn’t take much deliberation on his part. he leaves, abandons the cause and everything he once stood for. ( thought he stood for; CONVINCED himself he stood for. ) joins the police to stand alongside his older brother.

personality-wise ? he’s STILL an absolute shit most of the time, pretty abrasive. y’know, rubs just about everyone and their grandmother the wrong way. he’s aggressively opinionated and he’ll break your goddamn nose if you try to pull any shit on him or his loved ones.

curses like an absolute sailor.. every other word is likely a swear.

feel free to slide on up into my ims or hit me up on discord for plots ( you might have to give me yours since i don’t think.. you cAN ADD MINE SINCE I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE A NAME OK IT’S A WHOLE THING )

#haneulintro #jitae in bryson tiller's vc: i'm back and i'm better #WE TRULY LOVE A DEVELOPMENT AND IM SO .. SAPPY.. SAD HAPPY..

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edelwary · 6 years

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when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.

REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS :

TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part

mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah :

I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !

around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x)

For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!

Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls).

I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !!

Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper)

This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING.

And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there.

Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is

HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW :

I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why :

You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3)

You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved

It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong

Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones.

Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.

I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage.

You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you.

Use. References.

Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support.

I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff !

Make it harder.

No eraser.

Paint.

I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds.

Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.

And if you make mistakes :

New page, restart

It’s okay

It’s for you

I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades

You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit

Draw as large as you can

There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines

Thin lineart helps

Thinner. Make it even thinner

Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art

Big lineart ? Why not

Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty

Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think

Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great.

Don’t be afraid to do nothing

Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know…

Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :

Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style

Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back

Take breaks. Breath.

Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different

I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard

But I really, really think it’s worth it

MOTIVATION :

My main bitch

I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-

Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work

Actual advices :

I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later

Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic.

Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.

Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf.

Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool.

Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT.

Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry.

Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more

Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF

Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford

MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol)

Prompts blogs are cool too

Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !

That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT

Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it

Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see.

Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you.

Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer

Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it.

FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one.

Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them.

WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!!

#Anon you'll do it !!!!!!!!!!#asked #artist advice #art #i put my heart in this omg #it's 1.5 K WORDS #wtf #but yeah #you just gotta do shit and mess around

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atakportal · 6 years

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Burn The Fat Body Transformation System - Tom Venuto

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Burn The Fat Body Transformation System - Tom Venuto

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Description:

Hi, Im Tom, and in a moment, you’ll hear the story of how I went from being a chubby kid who was humiliated in gym class, to burning every last ounce of fat off my body, and winning my first bodybuilding championship at the age of 21…

This is also the same fat-burning system I still use today to stay in shape after age 40…

More importantly, you’ll see how these little-known secrets of all-natural bodybuilders and fitness models are the key to burning YOUR most stubborn fat and getting the body YOU want…

Read this page to the end, and I’ll also give you all the details about the unusual system that hundreds of thousands of people have already used – instead of dieting – to transform their bodies forever…

And for the first time ever, I’ll unveil the new 7-Day “quick start” that gets you going faster than ever before.

Before reading on, let me point out that this fat-burning system was originally developed by the leanest, most muscular athletes in the world, but it has now been re-engineered for regular people (non-bodybuilders)…

It works whether you are a man or a women, and it works regardless of your age. In fact, if you’re over 40, this could easily take 10 years off your biological age.

It even works for people who felt like they’d tried everything and were just “destined to be overweight”…

BURNED: 75 pounds of fat (from a size 22 to a size 6) while working two jobs and caring for her autistic son

– Audrey Eickwort

BURNED: 41 pounds of fat (from 274 pounds to 233 pounds and lost 19 inches off his waist at age 56

– Tim Amyett

BURNED: 122 pounds of fat (starting weight: 296 pounds)

– Brian Nordberg

You probably noticed that none of them look like stereotypical bodybuilders…

Yet every one of them… even formerly “photo-shy” people who told me they used to “hide” under their clothes, avoid mirrors, or secretly cringe when their photo popped up on Facebook…

… every one of them used what’s been called, “the most powerful fat burning system ever created” to achieve the same confidence in their appearance that bodybuilders feel every time they step in front of a camera.

And no matter how long they had struggled, Audrey, Tim, Brian and thousands of others achieved these startling transformations with these same “bodybuilder and fitness model” secrets.

Now, there’s one key factor that everyone who follows this system has in common with the most successful, photoshoot-ready bodybuilders and fitness models alive.

I have to warn you, it’s a story that’s a bit embarrassing to share…

Yet it’s a story you absolutely need to hear, because many of my clients tell me it gave them an “a-ha moment” that quickly allowed them to burn more stubborn fat than they imagined possible before…

…and I certainly wasn’t winning bodybuilding contests or getting praised by Oprah Magazine as “honest” about what it really takes to lose weight.

Heck, first I had to be honest with myself…

You see, I was never seriously overweight as a kid, but by the time I was a freshman in high school, I was getting pretty chubby around the waist…

Worse still, I was embarrassed to take my shirt off in public because I had what I thought was the worst affliction a warm-blooded male teenager could have: “Man boobs” – a fat saggy chest.

…and when we played basketball in gym, I prayed I’d be called for “shirts,” not “skins” so nobody would see my “moobs” and ab flab jiggling up and down the court.

At 14, I started lifting weights (those guys in the magazines didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on them), and by senior year, I’d packed on about 25 pounds of muscle… yet the whole “getting ripped” part kept eluding me:

I still couldn’t take my shirt off in public without wishing I would disappear… let alone see the abs trapped under my belly fat.

Perhaps you can relate to this feeling of feeling trapped inside a body that’s just not doing what you want, no matter what you try… and thinking your frustration just can’t get any worse…

I went away to college, and quickly discovered I wanted to become a fitness major… but I also discovered beer, pizza, and cheese burgers and went hard at work on the classic “freshman 15″…

I just laughed at myself right along with the guys who were making fun of me, even though the truth is, I was silently humiliated.

It wasn’t until my buddies at the gym made me commit to stop just “talking” about being a bodybuilder and train for a contest that I finally put down the texbooks and the magazines… and got serious about figuring out what these guys were doing right…

Because they certainly were doing something to get lean and ripped that I wasn’t – one of them had just won a “Mr Teen America” title, and had a body just as impressive as that title sounds…

So I started eating and working out in a certain way – and it was pretty clear I was finally onto something…

… because this “contest training” was by far the most effective program I’d ever tried. It worked SO well, I even placed in my very first contest… and WON my second contest the very next year, at just 21 years old.

Beer belly? Gone. “Moobs?” Nowhere in sight…

It felt like redemption.

Maybe you’ve seen that old ad where the skinny kid gets sand kicked in his face by a muscle-bound bully, then gets in shape and beats the bully up? That’s kind how I felt…

Because not only was I now truly “ripped” for the first time in my life..

It was like getting to tell the whole world, “Remember that kid from gym class with the manboobs? Well, have a look at this!”

Now, I’m NOT telling you this story to brag or hold myself up as some kind of “poster boy.”

There are literally thousands of my client’s stories that are more inspiring than mine…

Stories from ordinary men and women who have no interest in entering a bodybuilding contest, yet used this same “bodybuilder science” to achieve massive results…

People like Bonnie and Mike…

“My Goal Was To Be a “Hot Mom At 40,” And I’ve Achieved It. I lost 23 Kg’s and 12.5% Body Fat!”

“I’m a 40 year old mom of 3, ages 11, 6 and 4. Before, I was 85 kg and 36.5% body fat, size 40. I was fat and miserable. My family life and relationship were suffering. My husband knew someone who did Burn The Fat and it changed his life, so I tried it too. I lost 23 kg’s and kept it off ever since!”

– Bonnie VanNiekerk, Burn the Fat Client

“I Lost 137 Pounds! It Changed My Entire Life!”

“I used Tom’s BURN THE FAT program to lose 137 pounds, but it also changed my entire life and the life of my family. The goal-setting and mindset part of the program also helped me achieve emotional, physical and financial goals I never thought possible.

– Mike Ogorek, Burn the Fat Client

Rather than “smaller versions” of the same old body shape – their bodies take on a whole NEW shape…

And it’s because the one thing all these stories have in common with mine is the one secret hardly anybody besides natural bodybuilders and fitness models knows, or will tell you, about getting a lean, sexy body…

It’s the difference between struggling to “diet away” unwanted fat… and quickly, efficiently burning it.

Here’s why holding onto your muscle while you burn fat is so important, even if you have zero interest in looking like a bodybuilder:

Even though “diet gurus” and popular diet-industry books and magazines will never clue you in about it…

…it’s lean muscle that gives a great body its shape – a shape with all the curves and cuts where they’re supposed to be, and the stamina to do all the things you want it to do.

Just take a look at these bodies side-by-side and tell me what you see:

Pretty big difference, right?

It’s the difference I see all the time between “dieters” and “burners” who might look similarly “skinny” with their clothes on:

Yet the “burners” look great in a swimsuit (I’ll get to how in just a minute, so keep reading)…

… while the “dieters” still end up hiding under their clothes because even though they “lost weight”, they look soft and mushy with their shirts off.

This is exactly what you want to avoid… working your butt off to get thin… then having no butt… or worse, a droopy butt that looks even worse than when you carried more weight.

So why do you see so many more “skinny” people who look like the guy on the left, rather than the lean and toned guy on the right?

It’s not that the “lean and toned” folks pumped iron and packed on lots of extra muscle like a competitive bodybuilder would… The REAL difference is…

Yes, that means that if you burn fat the right way, you can “expose” the firm, toned-looking physique you already have, hidden beneath a layer of unwanted fat… if “dieting” doesn’t get to it first.

And this also means that if you lose fat the wrong way… the “diet industry” way… you might eventually become one of the “lucky” ones who manage to suffer through the torture and get “skinnier”…

But… to show you how bad it can get. I’ve had clients come to me for personal training who at a glance looked thin… BUT their body fat percentage turned out to be what you’d expect to see in somebody who’s visibly overweight, even obese.

One woman I tested was about 5-foot-7 and weighed 121 pounds on the scale… sounds good so far, right?

Then we got to her body fat: It measured an astonishingly high 28% – that’s 34 pounds of pure fat!

Now, I want you to imagine for a second, an arm bone with a one-inch pad of fat surrounding it, kind of like foam insulation around a pipe. That’s what her arm felt like… only the “insulation” was pure fat!

If you grabbed the back of her (very “thin”) arm… it was just one giant fat fold! Literally no palpable muscle at all, just bone and fat.

The fitness slang for this condition is “skinny fat”… and it’s gotten so common, there’s even a medical name for it:

Doctors call it “normal-weight obesity”…

and when they look at DEXA (dual energy x-ray absorpitometry) results or MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scans like the one above…. they’re horrified!…

… because this means we have not one epidemic…

We have TWO EPIDEMICS: The obesity epidemic and the Muscle loss epidemic!

And the older you are, the worse the effects, because the older you are, the easier it is to lose muscle. Most people don’t know this, but losing muscle is one of the fastest ways to accelerate the effects of aging.

Because diets cause muscle loss, it’s not a stretch to say that dieting ages you faster.

With each new fad “diet”… you “diet away” lots of lean muscle, and just a little bit of fat. That’s the basic problem with “diets”: Every one you try is like taking one step forward and two steps back… so even if you “win” and “drop some weight”, you still lose!

And dieting danger goes beyond just looking “skinny fat”… because as bad as that sounds, ending up with the skinny-fat metabolism that goes with it is even worse.

As hyper-committed as bodybuilders are to burning fat… they avoid “diets” like the plague, and it’s not just that diets cannibalize muscle… they also damage your metabolism, making it harder and harder to burn more fat off, and keep the fat you’ve already burned from creeping back on.

That’s because typical calorie-slashing diets can’t fool your body… and the body’s response is automatic and unavoidable:

Decreased metabolism, hormone imbalance, sluggish thyroid, gnawing hunger pangs, low energy and “brain fog”… sound familiar?

Then, after a few encouraging pounds come off… just when you think all the suffering might have been worth it… you hit the dreaded, inevitable “plateau” where it just “stops working” and you end up gaining it all back just like the rest of the 95% of dieters who fail.

That’s right – if you’ve been trying to burn fat, one of your main enemies is… your very own bathroom scale.

You see the hypey claims every day: “LOSE 30 POUNDS IN 30 DAYS!” … “LOSE 10 POUNDS IN 10 DAYS!”…

These claims get people so focused on “moving the needle” on their scale… that if they don’t measure up on their daily “weigh-in”, their whole day is ruined!

Yet these “scale-watchers” never seem to manage to get rid of all their unwanted fat.

That’s because muscle weighs more than fat…

… and “diets” that pressure you to blindly “lose weight” without knowing where the loss is coming from trick you into sabotaging your figure and your metabolism.

So rather than putting your body through dangerous fads, body-wasting starvation diets, and frustrating “plateaus,” you get to look forward to a lean, firm, fit-looking body that’s strong in every way, and looks it too.

How can I promise you that? Let me properly introduce myself…

For the past 25 years, I’ve been involved in almost every aspect of fitness – personal trainer, nutrition consultant, fitness model, gym manager and best-selling author.

I’ve had the privilege of helping hundreds of clients in person, plus tens of thousands more online in the last 10 years alone.

In that time, my email inbox has never stopped flooding with incredibly inspiring stories from regular folks from every background, age and fitness level who have discovered the life-changing difference between “diets” that promise you’ll “lose weight”… and the way bodybuilders and fitness models burn fat.

And these same “ex-dieters” have continued to make all the Burn the Fat programs bestsellers every year, while countless “diets” and weight loss fads come and go, for no other reason than… The Burn The Fat System just plain works.

I’ve seen men and women aged 50 and older do it…

I’ve seen busy executives and soccer-moms do it…

I’ve seen people who were 100 pounds or more overweight and convinced “fat runs in their family” do it…

I’ve seen people in the worst, harshest conditions do it…

All of them are regular people with “average” or even “worse than average” genetics, not “genetic freak” bodybuilding fanatics, or celebrities with chefs and personal trainers.

And now that you know preserving your body’s lean muscle and metabolism is the biggest success secret bodybuilders use to burn fat while “diets” fail…

You’re probably wondering exactly how the thousands of everyday “Burners” who’ve discovered this system use it to strip off ALL the unwanted fat on their bodies, and feel great doing it…

So let’s dive into the specific “how to do it” tips I have for you today….

And this First Element has nothing to do with food or workout programs…

… yet if you’ve struggled to burn fat, this lesson will change your life so much that when it’s over, you’re going to want to share it with every person you love or care about.

Because the most successful bodybuilders, fitness models and athletes will tell you that the foundation of all your results comes from training your mind first.

That’s why the First Element of Burn The Fat has always been MINDSET…

I’m not talking about any kind of woo-woo “think-yourself-thin” mumbo-jumbo here… far from it.

I’m talking about “the science” of setting goals … and the psychology of achieving them.

I’m talking about reprogramming your mind for success, so that instead of fighting against cravings or forcing your self to the gym, your new healthy behaviors turn over to “auto-pilot” mode and all the healthy eating and consistent training that once seemed so hard is as effortless as tying your shoes or brushing your teeth.

I’m also talking about the power of visualization and re-making your self-image. You’ll never out-perform your self image. If you want to change your body on the outside, you must first change the image you hold of yourself on the inside…

Olympians, weightlifters, golfers, and other elite athletes have been hip to “mind training” since the 70’s, when the Soviets first revealed how they used these techniques to dominate in so many sports.

Bodybuilders are masters at this, and if you could get inside their thought process, you’d learn more about body transformation than you ever would by looking at their nutrition journal or training plan.

Countless clients and readers have told me that until they mastered their minds, they could never stay focused, stay motivated or stick with their program. After they mastered it, they were unstoppable!

Without fail, those who gloss over this at first and fail to get results, eventually realize the paradox that the biggest secret to physical change is mental change.

The Second Element of Burn The Fat is your right nutrition.

You might have heard the expression, “You can’t out-train a lousy diet”… and that’s 100% true.

Without the right eating plan that accounts for your individual needs and goals, everything else falls apart.

I’ll cover all the specifics and details of putting this plan together with minimum fuss in just a few minutes with you… so keep reading…

First, here’s a crucial tip about how bodybuilders and fitness models eat to get lean…

And it’s one of the most important tips I can possibly share with you, because it’s the total opposite of what every “diet” tells you:

Cutting calories is NOT the best way to burn fat.

That’s why, if you watch bodybuilders, one thing you’ll notice about them is that they always seem to be eating.

You see, while “dieters” eat as little as they can stand trying to get thin…

“Burners” eat early and often, because they know it’s the key to restoring and ramping up your metabolism into a fat-burning machine.

They simply follow the simple formula to determine how many calories their bodies need daily to maintain their current weight (the amount they’d eat if they didn’t want to drop or gain a pound)… and then cut that number by a modest 20%.

That way, you never unintentionally over-eat and store food away as unwanted fat… and you also never trigger your body’s “starvation response” by eating too little, so you never feel hungry.

In fact, many people tell me they eat more with Burn The Fat than they’ve ever eaten… yet they get leaner than they’ve ever been before (and some who under-ate before find themselves eating up to 50% more without storing an ounce of it as fat)…

After depriving themselves on diet after diet, they’re eating without guilt and feeling full, without the hunger pangs, cravings and “brain fog” they’re used to.

Now, you might be wondering… if bodybuilders use food to fuel their metabolic fire, where does the final FAT BURN come from?

Well, that’s where the final two Elements of Burn The Fat come in as a “deadly duo” to melt fat off your waistline…

… and those are your right cardio and strength training.

You see, “diets” do get one thing right: You DO need a “calorie deficit” in order to burn fat… in other words, you still need to use up more calories than you eat.

The difference is, with Burn The Fat, the “deficit” comes from exercise rather than food alone.

Unlike the “diet” strategy that tries to starve the fat, the bodybuilder strategy is to BURN the fat with increased activity.

Think of the third element – the right cardio – as a Fat burning ACCELERATOR…

But Burn the Fat is unlike any other program you’ve ever seen, because Burn The Fat Cardio doesn’t lock you into one type of exercise…

You don’t have sweat on a treadmill every day… you don’t have to jog… you don’t have to sit on a hard bicycle seat for an hour… you don’t have to do boot camps… unless you like them.

You see, the Burn The Fat way is not about what type of cardio you choose, it’s about how you do the cardio of your choice.

It’s a simple formula of duration X frequency X intensity combined with weekly micro-adjustments, that lets you dial your fat-burning UP or dial it DOWN (if you want to stop losing weight), with whatever type of cardio that makes you happy.

Couldn’t you lose fat, without cardio, with the right nutrition alone? Yes, but… that’s the long, slow, hard way, and there’s no telling how much muscle you’ll lose along with the fat if all you do is diet and you’re not using the fourth and final element…

The right strength training also burns calories and increases metabolism, so adding this fourth element is like getting a double boost in fat-burning, but here’s the real reasons to strength train:

Strength training is how you avoid getting “skinny fat” … or losing muscle when you’re in a fat-burning calorie deficit.

And remember – it’s lean muscle that gives a great body its shape – with all the right curves, and the strength to do everything you want your body to do.

Don’t worry – I’m not going to make you “pump iron” like Arnold Schwarzenegger or spend half your life at the gym – remember, this is designed for ordinary people with lots of other demands on their energy and time.

That’s why I’ve built perfectly balanced routines for every goal and level of fitness into the Burn The Fat Program, based on 25 years of experience training hundreds of clients in person and thousands more online.

Don’t worry about getting “bulky” or “too big”, either – believe me, there is no way you will ever wind up looking like a competitive bodybuilder by accident. It just doesn’t happen – not even for men, and especially not for women…

Of course, just like nutrition, there’s no such thing as a “one-size-fits-all” exercise plan, so I’ll show you exactly how to put your plan together and even adapt a workout you’re already doing if you want to, so please keep reading…

Alright, that was a lot to cover… You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed, and that’s okay. Basically, this means that..

PATH 1: Take the information I’ve given you in this fat burning tips report and try to “go it alone”… And who knows? You may see some success from this alone if you took really careful notes…

PATH 2: It’s what the vast majority of people who read this fat-burning report until the end choose… and it’s the quickest and smartest path to the body you desire and deserve…

Path 2 is one that’s been tested and proven again and again with clients at every level of fitness… whether they had a goal of losing a stubborn “last 10”, or 100 pounds or more.

The system I teach in Burn The Fat is the system I personally use, and it’s the ONLY system I know of that doesn’t try to put everyone in the same “box”…

And the main reason the original Burn The Fat has stood the test of time as a 10-year-straight bestseller while dozens of “diets” have come and gone is NOT because of me…

The credit for Burn The Fat’s continued success belongs with the over 300,000 clients, members, readers and customers in 152 countries who have succeeded with it… and proven over and over that Burn The Fat just plain works…

I’ve personally used it to stay as lean and “ripped” in my 30’s and 40’s as I was in my 20’s…

And many fellow “Burners” have even overcome disabilities as serious as being “handicapped with two bad hips, two canes, and bone on bone arthritis” to put these principles to work for them, like 61-year-old John Deegan…

BURNED: 34 pounds of fat, with two canes and bone-on-bone arthritis

– John Deegan, Burn the Fat Client

So even if your fat loss and fitness goals are nowhere near a world record… even if you’re competing with nobody except yourself… just by putting even a fraction of these hard-won secrets into action, you’ll start seeing results that will make you feel like stepping up on a stage and getting a medal.

I’ll take you inside The NEW Burn The Fat Program in some detail in just a minute, but first, I wanted to share with you…

These successful “burners” (below) followed the program during our 49-Day “Burn the Fat Challenge” contest that we run every year for our members (as a Burn the Fat member, you’ll be invited to these challenges too, if you want the extra motivation…)

“I shredded down to 4.3% body fat in 49 days”

“When I hit 30, I found myself with a belly for the first time in my life. I followed the Burn the Fat program and entered the 49 day Challenge; I had no idea how much it would change the whole rest of my life.

Staying in frequent contact with people in the Burn the Fat community, who were all heading in the same positive direction, made staying the course absolute. I will never have a belly again.”

– James Mauck, Burn the Fat Client

“I Achieved The Body I’ve Always Wanted! I’m Now 128 lbs At 17.7% Body Fat!”

“I learned an AMAZING thing: I love the feeling in my muscles, I love the burn, and I love the progress. The more my muscles popped, the more addicted I became to the training.

Another thing stood out to me: Food is integral. Don’t try to starve the fat. Fuel your body properly and it will perform better. It was like my body turned into a fat-burning, muscle-building machine.”

– Amanda Andrews, Burn The Fat Client

“My advice to anyone thinking about doing Burn the Fat is to make a commitment to yourself in writing and list all the benefits you will receive as a result of reaching your goal.” Don’t try to reinvent the wheel – the information and resources you need are right here, and the Burn the Fat community is amazing!”

– Gary Vollhoffer, Age 50, Burn the Fat Client

“I Lost 14 lbs, built some nice muscle, and went from a pant size 7/9 to a size 1! My husband and children can’t thank Tom enough for his healthy, natural, clear-cut program. If a home-schooling mom of five kids all under the age of eight can do it, anyone can!”

– Cynthia Cardenas, Burn the Fat Client

The Newest Burn the Fat program that you can get today is still based on the same bodybuilder-inspired nutrition and training strategies that I developed for personal clients, who expected, no – demanded – success, and those clients have been achieving success with these principles since 1989.

Only now, it’s even better…

In the early days, the only way to learn my system was to hire me in person, to train you one-on-one, in the gym.

Next came Burn the Fat private coaching, where hundreds of people did the program with me in person or long distance by phone or email.

Then tens of thousands more found this system though my Burn The Fat Inner Circle…

… And in the last 10 years, the Burn the Fat Program exploded, with over 300,000 people reading my Burn the Fat books.

A New, increasingly authoritative Burn the Fat Program has been fully updated and released in a never-seen-before online program.

This includes the new Burn the Fat Program together with the Burn the Fat Inner Circle, for total immersion in the community, and for online coaching from me.

The NEW Burn the Fat program delivers you the same fat-burning techniques my clients have used for years, and delivers it in 7 short and simple lessons.

I’ll get to the price (plus a crazy set of bonuses), in just a minute…

First, take a quick look at some of the fat-burning secrets you’ll learn in each lesson.

And that’s just a fraction of the step-by-step, actionable strategies included in the all-new online edition of the Burn the Fat Body Transformation Program.

When you order, you get instant access to ALL the Burn the Fat materials the moment you join, and I’ve broken the course into 7 steps in 7 days, so you’re not overwhelmed and I can walk you through each lesson, one day at a time.

The Burn The Fat 7 Day Body Transformation Program is just one piece of the total package. Now let me tell you about all the other bonuses you’ll get as well…

All the tools you need to make the program easy to follow are available at the click of a mouse: workout trackers, meal planner sheets, calorie calculators, protein, carb and fat calculators, Burn the Fat food data base, Burn the fat shopping list, Burn the Fat Progress chart Burn the Fat Goal Planners and more.

Amazing push-button software creates and saves your customized meals, daily meal plans, and recipes… lets you save foods, meals, daily meal plans and recipes as favorites… lets you add your own custom foods, and you can mix and match your custom meals and recipes into an unlimited number of daily meal plans, quickly and easily.

Forget about bland “rabbit-food” diets. Now you can enjoy our delicious, original recipes, all created and taste-tested by me first, before they were shared with our whole community of burners. Fast to make for busy time-strapped lifestyles, and no previous cooking experience is required. Who knew that eating clean and lean could taste so good?

To be absolutely certain that you will lose pure fat and not lean muscle, you’re also getting the e-book (New 2nd edition), “How To Measure Your Body Fat in The Privacy of Your Own Home.” Discover the simple 2-minute test to measure your own body fat at home and see why your body FAT is so much more important than your body WEIGHT.

With so much UNIQUE fat-burning truth packed into one single system, enough to shortcut years of struggle, you might think the New Burn The Fat program would be priced at a premium, and in all honesty… It really should be.

But my goal from the very first day I made this New Burn The Fat system available to the public online was to make it available to as many people as possible… people I knew could benefit from the rare information it contains, yet couldn’t get it from me in person.

If I priced it too high, I realized that would leave many people with body-wasting “diets,” potentially health-ruining “supplements,” and outright scams as their only refuge…

And that’s not what I want for you.

I’ve seen what this system can do for so many people in person… seen its effects in the emails and photographs sent in by people I’ve never even gotten to meet face-to-face… and I deeply believe you deserve better.

I want you to have the best, and I want you to experience it now, today…

To get started now, just click that yellow button below that says “Add To Cart” for instant access to the program (And of course, 100% of your investment is risk-free starting today – I’ll explain in just a second).

Get started now and as an extra bonus gift, I’ll include access to the entire Burn The Fat Transformation Success Secrets library.

These audios will be available in the Burn The Fat members area and you can listen to them online or download the MP3’s to your ipod or music player so you can listen in your car, while you work out, or anywhere

In these audios you’ll hear me as well as dozens of the Burn the Fat Transformation Champions – some of the men and women you saw right here on this web page – reveal their secrets to their remarkable before and after photos.

All together these audios contain more than 40 hours of motivation, education and inspiration that you can listen to any time, anywhere.

Again, this bonus gift is absolutely FREE.

And like I mentioned a minute ago,

In just 7 days, you will know all the secrets of the leanest people in the world. Then, all I’m asking you to do is put what you’ve learned to use. Try the system for up to 60 days.

If you don’t experience everything I’ve told you about and more in those 60 short days…

If you dont see your first results in your first week, and then keep burning off fat each week after that, week after week, I’ll gladly refund every penny you paid. No questions asked, no hassles.

Look below and click on the yellow button that says “Add To Cart” to start the 7 day program and claim all your bonuses now!

PS. Remember, the next 7 days will quickly come and go, and at the end of them, you can either be feeling just as unsatisfied with your body as you are now, or just as confused and overwhelmed about the right way to start, or…

The choice is simple. Still… I’ve noticed that nearly everyone I meet has a reason they want to put it off:

They’re waiting until New Year’s when the holidays are over, or after the kids start school, or the first day of the month, or after final exams are over, or whatever – there’s always some excuse to procrastinate. PLEASE don’t wait!

If you know you’re ready…

… if you’re at that point where you want to start the rest of your life today so that you can be a new person… leaner, healthier, full of energy, full of life, more fun, looking good, getting compliments…

… if that sounds good to you, then click the “Add To Cart” yellow button below, and let’s get you started now!

Q: Do you really answer questions and give personal coaching on your site? How do you find the time?

A: Yes, I really answer your questions on the Burn the Fat private forums and I spend many hours doing it. I don’t spend much time on social media, so I have more time for our members. However, I can’t guarantee this forever. This program is new and once word spreads, and it gets super busy, I’ll either have to cap membership, raise the price, or have Burn The Fat certified coaches take over for me. So if you’re interested in getting personal advice straight from the program creator (me), now is the time to get onboard.

Q: Do I have to take any supplements?

A: No. Most supplements are scams, some can be dangerous and the few that have scientific support have such a small effect, you would get more results just by doing a better job with your eating and training. You don’t need any supplements to burn fat or build muscle and you’ll never see ads or promotions for supplements in our members area (I don’t endorse or sell supplements and never will).

Q: Do I have to join a gym or buy any equipment?

A: You DO need some kind of resistance training because that’s the key to revving up your metabolism, sculpting lean muscle and keeping the muscle you already have. But you don’t need expensive machines and you don’t have to join a gym – you can work out at home if you prefer. The beginner workouts can be done with nothing but free weights (like dumbbells) and your own body weight as resistance.

Q: I’m not a bodybuilder – will this program still work for me?

A: Yes. The program was developed BY a bodybuilder, but it’s not just FOR bodybuilders. Think of it this way: Bodybuilders are the leanest, most muscular people in the world, so if you want to get leaner or more muscular, who better to learn from? I designed the program so you can use bodybuilder and fitness model techniques to reach your own personal goals, whether that’s building muscle or just toning up, losing 100 pounds or the last 10 pounds, getting ripped or just getting leaner than you are now.

Q: Does the program work as well for women as men?

A: Yes, in fact our membership is now more female than male (53% women and 47% men in our last survey). Women have different needs and the program gives you the exact calculations for the female metabolism (there are separate calculations for men). The workout programs work equally well for men and women (women need muscle too, most women simply want muscle tone, not muscle bulk).

Q: I just turned 54. Am I too old to start this program? Please be honest Tom.

A: Honestly, you’re too old NOT to get started. The science shows that college-age kids don’t have to worry about hormone levels and muscle loss – getting in shape is easy for them. From your 30’s to 40’s and beyond, when hormones and metabolism start to change, if you don’t eat the right food and get the right exercise, your muscles (and bone density) disintegrate faster with every passing year, while fat goes on easier. Age 35-55 is our biggest member demographic and more people are joining us after 55 than ever because that age group is finally discovering how crash diets accelerate aging while training and feeding the muscle reverses aging.

Q: I can’t eat wheat or any products with gluten. Can I still follow the nutrition part of the Burn the Fat program?

A: Yes. Gluten intolerance is common and you can easily work around it. The food choices are flexible and substitutions are easy.

Q: I’m lactose intolerant. Can I still do the Burn the Fat nutrition program?

A: Yes. Lactose intolerance is even more common and it’s also easy to work around it. Dairy products are optional on this program.

Q: Will this work for vegetarians?

A: The program is very easy to adapt for semi-vegetarians who eat dairy, eggs and or fish (no meat). The program was not designed specifically for vegans but can be adapted for vegans as well, as long as you’re able to customize your own meal plans based on which foods you eat.

Q: Will this work in my country? I’m worried about not having the foods required where I live.

A: Yes. We have thousands of members in over 150 countries and you can adapt the food choices to work wherever you live.

Q: How can I be sure it’s safe to order online from your website?

A: Our checkout page is on a secure server, we are a Verisign-trusted site (confirming our identity, location and virus-free status), we’re A+ rated by the NJ Better Business Bureau and our Burn the Fat company has been trusted online since 2003 with a reputation for integrity.

Q: How do I log in to the member’s area and how soon will I be able to start after I order?

A: Just click the “ADD TO CART” button below. You’ll be directed to a secure order page. After you submit your payment details, you’ll be forwarded to the new member registration page on the member’s-only (Inner Circle) site, where you’ll be asked to choose your private user name and password. You can then log in to the Burn The Fat members area and start just minutes from now. You get instant access to the member’s area. Click the yellow ADD TO CART button below to get started:

HOW PRODUCTS ARE DELIVERED: This is an all-digital (internet) product. Burn The Fat Inner Circle is a private membership website that you access online with a user name and password that you’ll choose on a registration page after you sign up. All the products, services and bonuses are delivered in the member’s area. No physical products will be shipped. You get instant access to the website right after you order.

* TESTIMONIALS AND RESULTS DISCLAIMER: Results shown in our testimonials may not be typical. Photos shown on this page are among our best case studies and transformation contest winners. Typical weight loss is 1 to 2 pounds per week. In overweight individuals, weight loss of up to 1% of total bodyweight per week is more common. Faster weight loss in the first 1-2 weeks is common but is usually water weight loss, not body fat. Faster fat loss is possible, but not likely. This is NOT a fad diet or rapid weight loss program. Burn the Fat is a healthy lifestyle program and a long term approach to body fat reduction and maintenance. Permanent weight loss requires long-term lifestyle change and cannot be guaranteed. [More info about typical results and Burn the Fat challenge results]

Click here to get Burn The Fat Body Transformation System – Tom Venuto at discounted price while it’s still available…

#Body #Burn #Fat #System #Tom #Transformation #Venuto

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perdizzion · 7 years

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Hi! Can I ask you how you make your merch? Like, how do you print the design on a keychain\make stickers\ecc? I'm just really curious, I saw photos of your merch and it looks awesome!!! (If you don't want to answer for whatever reasons feel free to delete this though)

hello!! NONSENSE i’d be honored to share my merch-making experience with all yall!!! you guys are the ones who have been keeping me afloat after all!

well ok so the first step to making merch is creating the design of course. i draw using adobe photoshop cs6 with a wacom intuos, just in case you’re curious about that as well! its super duper important that i draw it with a 300dpi resolution so i wont have any trouble with the printing quality!

next up is contacting the supplier and giving my designs to them. this is…..the tricky part. finding a supplier that im comfortable with took me AGES! one of them messed up a great portion of my keychains, another one took a month to reply back to me, another one ended up being too expensive, and the list goes on. it’s extremely important to make sure that i communicate every single detail about my order clearly to them! it doesn’t matter if they think i’m being annoying or bossy, what matters is that the results come out satisfyingly and are up to par with my expectations! the whole process usually takes about 3-5 days, but sometimes when i need to rush things, i make a special request about how i need them faster. this usually results in a more costly price, but some suppliers don’t charge extra for this (bless their heart), so again, it’s just a matter of good communication with your supplies!

right now i’ve only done acrylic keychains, pins, standees, art prints and stickers, but im planning to expand a lot more with (possibly) plushies and pouches!! wish me luck! oh and all of my suppliers are located locally, but i heard alibaba and taobao have really great international suppliers!! my friend linked me to an enamel pin supplier from one of those sites and they actually look very decent so i hope i can try my hands on an enamel pin design one day too!!

moving on, next up is quality checking and packaging! i always make sure to quality check all of my products first before i pack them up. i usually print about 4-6 more products than i need to make sure that i have spare extras in case the supplier made a mistake on a few of my orders. this way, i won’t have to wait for them to make more!

once all products are checked, i pack them up in padded envelopes! it’s suuuuper duper important to use a shitload of bubble wrap. our mail service is absolute shit and our mails get tossed around very often, so it’s absolutely obligatory for me to utilize as much bubble wrap as i can! i also like to put in a few extra goodies like personalized cards, free stickers and some candies as a form of thank you to my customers! it needs a lot of effort to prepare all of them but it’s all worth it because i’m always so grateful for my customers’ support and i want to SHOWER THEM ALL WITH MY ETERNAL LOVE AND GRATITUDE

a few tips i can share for merch-making is probably:

count your prices accordingly!! make sure to check shipping prices so you won’t lose a shitload profit over a stupid mistake like miscalculating the shipping fee!

i cannot stress this enough: BE ASSERTIVE TO YOUR SUPPLIERS!! check up on them about how your orders are doing every goddamn hour if you need to! im kidding. maybe not every hour. every 12 hours will do

PRINT A SPREADSHEET OF YOUR CUSTOMERS’ ORDERS!! don’t just rely on the digital copy, it’ll help you a lot while packing, trust me!!

customers love freebies!!! they’ve helped you reached this far, show them a bit of your love for them! at least put in a thank you card or something!!

PROMOTE THAT SHIT!! go crazy with your shop promotion. nobody cares if you’re over-promoting. EARN THAT DOLLAR, FAM

last, but not least, don’t push yourself too hard!!! if you need a break from drawing/socializing/packing, take a goddamn break. your health is way more important. just make sure to be transparent to your customers; tell them that their orders will be a bit delayed. they’ll understand. if they don’t, the worst thing that could happen is the demand for refunds, but that’s so much more preferable than having a fucked up back or extreme fatigue from overworking yourself. these two things have happened to me so TAKE THE ADVICE JUST TAKE IT

PHEW that got so much longer than i’d expected woops. but hey there u go!! i left a lot of the details out but i hope that answered your question!

thank you SO MUCH for checking out my merch pics!! it means a lot that people like you appreciate the hard work i poured into my art :”)) HAVE A GREAT DAY ANON

#THATS SUCH A LENGTHY RESPONSE LMAOO SORRY FOR THE WORD VOMIT #BUT HAVE THIS LONGAS ANSWER I GUESS!!!!!#hope that helped!!#anonymous #answers

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zoeygreensimblr · 5 years

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Mine (Episode 12)

Monday morning, 9am and Mrs Caliente decided would be a great time to call an "Emergency" year 12 assembly

"Today officially marks 4 months of your time left in year 12" She reminds us, as if none of us are counting down the days until we are free of this place. "For some of you it will be time well spent studying for your upcoming exams but there are others who will waste this opportunity and will crash and burn so close to the finish line"

"Such a motivating speech" Cassie whispers to me and I can't help but laugh. I swear the teachers at this school spend their weekends thinking up inspirational speeches that do nothing to inspire any of us to try harder, it's just time in which we could be doing what they keep harping on at us about, studying.

"From today there will be no more new modules taught in any subject" She continues and we all cheer, "But this time will now be devoted solely studying and revision. Extra tudor time will be offered before and after school as well as a lunch times, use the tools we have on hand wisely students and you will go far."

"She realises Winter break is next week right" Cassie asks me, "Im not spending my whole time in Del Sol Valley with my nose in a book, I'm coming back with a tan, even if I have to fake it, then Sam might look my way". We both look at Sam, sitting a few rows back from us, his nose in a book and we giggle

"We have a special announcement from your school captains, Teresa and Declan, the floor is yours" Mrs Caliente says, handing the microphone to Tess.

"What is up Year 12", My sister, always the professional captain, I swear she just does the role for the attention it brings her and the roaring crowd proves my point, "We are 4 months away from Formal and tickets will go on sale at lunch time today and will be available for the the next 3 weeks only so get in quick because we need to pay our deposit to Myshuno Meddows and there is no refunds on tickets. Partners are welcome too but alcohol is not" This last part is met with booing from the crowd.

"Is Angus taking you to the formal?" Cassie asks excitedly

"I haven't asked him, I'd love for him to take me but he's 22, I doubt he wants to spend the night with the whole year of 18 year olds" I confess

"We could bring it up today at training if you want to, like in a subtle way?" Cassie suggests and I like that plan, that's Cassie for you, she's great at finding stuff out without asking directly

"That sounds great. Are you going to ask Sam to formal?" I ask her

"No, I'd rather just go stag than embarrass myself getting rejected by Sam" She laughs, "How was your weekend with Angus? Did you do anything fun?"

"If I tell you a secret can you not tell Tess?" I ask her

"YES!!! Must be pretty big for you to keep it from Tess though, you two share everything" She's excited to know something Tess doesn't but I know I can trust Cassie to keep a secret.

"I slept with Angus" I tell her, her eyes go wide

"You had sex?" she asks

"Yes, Saturday Night" I fill her in on all the details, what it was like what he said, what I said, our bath and the sheets.

"Why haven't told Tess though?" curiosity gets the better of her

"She will tell me it's too soon" I tell her

"But she has been on board with You and Angus from the beginning, she even jokes about you sleeping together" She reminds me

"She made a big deal about waiting a year to sleep with Declan, she may joke about Angus and I but I know how she would react and I don't want to subject Angus to Hurricane Teresa coming after him" I explain

"You wanted to do it though right? He didn't pressure you?" She says sounding concerned

"It was always my choice, the whole way through, he gave me opportunities to stop, many times and I didn't want to" I assure her

"He's so dreamy" she says

I'd never kept a secret from Tess before but I felt like I had to, to protect my relationship.

We caught the train to San Myshuro in the afternoon, Angus was out the front of the gym when we arrived, phone to his ear, deep in conversation, he looks angry and I can hear him getting frustrated with whoever is on the other end, he looks up and sees us walking towards him.

"I'm at work, I'll talk to you later in the week" He tells the caller, his tone is so angry, it scares me a little but the anger fades once we are in front of him, the others wave at him and walk inside to check in but I hang back, I need to know that he's alright. He pulls me in for a sneaky hug and I look into his eyes.

"bad day?" I ask him

"Little bit" he says, kissing my forehead

"Wanna talk about it?" I offer

"It's OK, you've got enough on your plate. How was school?" He's changing the subject.

"We have reached the 'study and revision' part of the speeches they want to drum into us" I complain

"They're not wrong though, it's important" He reminds me

"Not you too, I just want to feel less pressure" Now I'm getting frustrated

"Sorry baby" He apologises and kisses me, "Does that help?"

"Yes, thank you" I hug him tightly and then walk inside and notice the absence of Annabelle, when I question Angus he just tells me she's off sick.

"We should go shopping for Formal Dresses on Saturday girls, I know we have 4 months but still can't hurt to start looking" Cassie throws into casual conversation mid training

"Zoey and I will probably need that 4 months to pay dress off so yeah, I agree we go on Saturday. That ok with you Zo?" Tess asks me as if I really have an option to say no

"As long as it's not too early" I request

"Why? Do you have a hot date the night before? Did you know Zoey has a boyfriend Angus? And she spends all weekend with him and now I'm all alone" Tess says playfully

"Ah, I'm right here Tess" Declan reminds her

"I haven't heard a thing about Zoey's boyfriend" Angus plays along, "Did he ask if he can take you to the formal yet?"

"I don't think that would be his thing, hanging around a bunch of kids" I say shyly, hoping he will sense still how much I want him to accompany me but I feel like I can't ask him

"I think he might surprise you Zoey but only if you want him there" He says

"I want him there" I tell him and he smiles that cheeky smile.

"Ugh get a room" Tess laughs at us

"Declan is Sam going to the formal" I ask for Cassie

"No idea Zo, we're guys, we don't really talk about anything other than how the Llama's played on the weekend" Declan explains, "Oh by the way Angus, thanks for Sunday, seeing a game played on a screen that big was unbelievable"

"They're playing a home game this Saturday, we should go, I've got a box. Ladies, you're welcome to join us after shopping" Angus suggests, Declan is fully on board for seeing a live soccer game but the rest of us couldn't imagine anything worse

"Zoey, Declan was very impressed my car" He tells me, flashing that cheeky smile, "I even let him drive it"

"How does it not do it for you Zo?" Declan joins in on teasing me

"Maybe I'd be more impressed by it if Angus would let me to drive it" I tell them

"Can you drive Zoey?" Angus asks surprised

"I can but.."I'm too embarrassed to tell him, luckily Tess is not so shy about throwing me under bus

"She failed the test 3 times before passing, can't drive outside of Brindleton Bay because traffic scares her and can only drive auto" Thanks Tess, always there to show off my flaws, "Whereas I passed first go in a manual" She talks herself up

"An over confident driver doesn't make you the best Teresa" I tease her, knowing she hates when I use her actual name but she just laughs at me

"You can drive my car" Angus tells me before adding in "We'll go to suburbs though, not in the City"

"You're a brave man Angus" Tess teases him

"I'm an insured man Teresa Green" He fires back and Cassie shoots Tess a look of shock

"Wait, your surname is Green, as in Trees are Green?" She laughs loudly

"No, My surname is Lothario thank you very much" She corrects Angus, "I had the common sense to change that a few years ago"

"Why is yours still Green then Zoey?" Cassie asks me, "You hate your father for what he did, why still carry his name?"

"Because I don't want to wait 8 hours at City Hall, spend hundreds of dollars and have to fill out a stack of paperwork just to become Zoey Lothario, Don knows I love him and consider him our father, he's ok with it" I explain, adding "Anyway I only want to change my surname once in my lifetime" I put my head down, feeling silly for my own admission in front of Angus.

"Run Angus, run" Tess teases, adding to my insecurity but Angus saves me by telling the others

"Why would I ever run from this girl? She's gorgeous" and I blush, he's being my hero and I love him for it.

Our session is done for the day and we get ready to hit the showers.

"Can I borrow you for a moment before you go tonight?" He asks and of course my answer is yes.

I let the others know I won't be long and Angus walks me to his small office, he closes the door behind us and steals a kiss from me.

"I got you something" He tells me

"You didn't have to do that Angus" I explain to him as he hands me a small box, I open the box and inside there is a beautiful gold necklace with a diamond encrusted 'Z' charm, "I love it, thank you but I feel bad that I have nothing to give you". He takes the chain from the box and places it around my neck, clasps it and kisses my neck softly

"You gave me you're ultimate gift on Saturday night so I wanted to get you something to show you that you are special to me and I appreciate what you gave me, I love you Zoey" He explains

"I never thought of my virginity as a gift that I was giving, for a long time I'd viewed it as a burden, it showcased my inexperience" I tell him

"I like your inexperience, It's like I'm the captain of a ship and I get to help you discover yourself" He says and I know exactly what he means, this is all new territory to me but he's always there to guide me.

"I love you Captain Angus" Tell him, kissing him and he spanks me lightly. I love how sweet and cheeky he can be.

On my way out of the room I spot the photo of us from Sulmi, in it he's kissing me on the cheek, we look good together I must admit

#sims #sims4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 simblr #sims 4 cats and dogs #sims 4 city living #sims 4 island living #sims 4 get to work #sims 4 get famous #taylor swift

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zanytimetravelenthusiast-blog · 5 years

Text

AI Affiliate Bots Review And Bonus

AI Affiliate Bots Review - Are you searching for more understanding regarding AI Affiliate Bots? Please review my honest testimonial concerning it prior to selecting, to review the weaknesses and toughness of it. Can it deserve your time and effort as well as money?

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shrimpcache · 3 years

Text

Journal entry 6/6/21

Feeling lots of things, thinking lots of thoughts, remembered my idea to do journals here. id rather you didnt reblog but i cant exactly stop you either, and its not like anyone important to not see this is really on tumblr. anyways.

I hate this stupid situation with this passport- i want to go to italy, id love to be anywhere that isnt the piedmont anymore. at least anywhere that isnt the same suburb with the same roads and street signs and city design and construction where i used to see forests and fields. I want to see where my best friend grew up, im excited to see this new side and learn something new about someone so familiar to me. im excited to meet people whos language i dont speak, to just look at store signs and roads and cars that are unfamiliar without being frightening because theres someone next to me who knows what to do already. imagine me traveling and not stressing about how i need to know where i am at all times lest i get lost, or keeping track for my group of friends who is equally unfamiliar with somewhere that looks just like every north carolina town. new mountains, new people, new norms, new sounds in the morning, new sounds at night. will i miss the cicadas this summer? will it even matter?

the sad part is i dont know if my passport will get to me in time. I might have to take a day trip to vermont where i cant even explore national forests or non-chain restaurants. Ill have to walk into a passport facility without all my necessary documents and hope theyll see in the system that the fucking government still has my birth certificate. I want to go to europe. I want to get out of here so bad, but i never got my passport because things like that didn;t just happen to me.

Im not the one who gets the interesting summer trips. Always too broke, working, or i just cant justify to myself why i would just drop everything to go somewhere where i know nothing and know no one. Why that thought is so sad to me, “things that fun and cool just aren’t meant for me”

Maybe its the insinuation that it is for other people. Does it just tie into this image i have of myself? this barely human person who just copies and mimics until people read me as one of them too? I think i really understand that artist now who makes adhd comics and draws herself with little alien antennae- i really do feel like an alien. even when I take adderol, it only really helps with the energy and executive dysfunction. Which is great!!! i love my adderoll and im so glad that i can feel a little bit more like a normal person, and im proud of myself pursuing it until i got it. But it doesn’t change that i wont ever be able to just relate to most people. Its like growing up with undiagnosed adhd created a Me and Them venn diagram, where everything that makes me who i am can never be in the center of the interlocking circles. The way i speak, how fast, how slow, how hesitant, how exuberant- i never realized how much i masked until i started talking with people whos brains worked at the same pace as mine. people who thought the strangest, unhelpful thoughts too. Im not trying to make myself special or some sort of ‘other’ in society -im a little white girl who grew up in a house with two floors and my own room, nothing was really working against me outside of myself. But having something inside of you that is unquestionably you and it just seems like youre the only one whos like this for no reason was just so hard. its kinda...harder now that i know none of it was because there was something inherently wrong with me.

sigh. this is all over the place. anyone who cares to read congrats on seeings how my brain connects thoughts in real time. i dont have aphantasia or anything but my imagination and thoughts have always been more word and language based than visual, so rather than having racing thoughts of intense images of memories my brain just produces sentences ed nauseum or whatever. Thoughts that i might not even agree with but they rile me up and pull me under anyway- if im stressed the stress just manifests as a tornado of sentences and phrases happening concurrently, like theres some sort of crowd in my head saying vaguely similar things out of time. or harsh things. or mean things. but i think thats kai’s fault. like when i was spiraling over a failing grade in chemistry in my dorm at 2am where i couldnt stop thinking that the only reason i hadnt killed myself already was because i was such a financial drain on everyone around me and i couldnt waste their money by dying. maybe theres a hint of truth in there but its so exaggerated. i havent killed myself because i want to live and experience my life as much as i experience the lives of others, but i also always feel this heavy burden of wasted money, wasted time, wasted potential, constantly stirring up my brain.

this started with my passport, right? thats my stressor right now, and its pretty big so it bleeds into other parts of my life so easily. my therapist says i have this habit of replacing one stressor with another, and sometimes i can recognize it, but i dont think its getting replaced as much as its being amplified. Im waiting on my passport, which probably wont get here before my travel date, so ill have to fly to vermont and get one the day before i travel even though i already have one in processing. I spent $1400 on my ticket and i cant even transfer it to anyone without getting a refund or something, and i spent that much money without even knowing if i could travel. can i even get a refund? i worry about it as soon as i wake up, whenever i have a free moment to think, when im going to bed, when im playing games. when im doing anything that isnt working on getting my passport, even though i cant really do anything but call the same phone number and wait on hold for hours. but because im ‘not trying hard enough’ to get my passport, im too overwhlmed to do my laundry. to clean my room. to exercise my dog properly. im irritable. i just want to see my friends but i dont even talk about whats bothering me because im afraid to cry in front of them. im crying right now because this is the only outlet ive given myself to feel in literal months. writing always does this to me, drags me into emotions i dont realize im pushing down until the words just come out against my own will. i missed typing on my keyboard though. i missed thinking and seeing it in front of me, so i guess this is a sort of catharsis. i put some clothes in the laundry, at least. good job me.

maybe this will all work out in the end and itll feel great. maybe ill get on a plane with my original ticket and have a fun few weeks away from everything ive always known. maybe ill set foot on a sidewalk ive never touched before! maybe ill get that tattoo. maybe things will be okay. i can focus on stuff working out too, if i try hard enough. i think im done writing now. half way through this i worked some stuff out with my friends and there are a few things that are less scary now than when i first started writing. see you next time

#journal #6/6/21 #personal #suicide ment #prefer it if you dont reblog

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I might look like Im listening to you but in my head Im playing softball shirt

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