#im just... idk upset at the whole situation including myself

[aita-systemized]

This account hasn't posted in a while so it might be inactive but I'm gonna shoot my shot.

WIBTA for cutting and/or dying our hair w/o asking the other alters?

(ages not relevant, but genders are). So our system has a lot of trouble with making decisions, both for our whole system and frequently just as individual alters. In the case of making a decision for the whole system, we usually have to do it on the spot and forget any decisions we make as a collective, and have trouble getting even most of our frequent fronters out within the time frame needed to make the decision. So most of our decisions are just one guy making the decision and the rest of us dealing with it afterwards.

I, the host, (N, ftm) hate having long hair. It makes me dysphoric everytime I remember that the hair I feel is mind and it's on my body. This is alleviated if I tie it up somehow so I can live with long-ish hair, but I'd prefer to cut it. I also think the current shade of pink does NOT suit us and it isn't one anybody likes all that much (that I know of at least). So I'd like to at least dye it a dark purple and preferably cut it short.

The problem with this, is that I know not every alter would agree with that. Even if I haven't seen anyone say they like this pink (even the people who wanted pink in the first place) its not like I know everything, someone might. And most of our alters have long hair in the innerworld and would likely prefer our hair to be even longer than it is now. Most of our alters are more feminine, I'm one of few who isn't. I understand that I'm outnumbered here but it's my body too and I am so, so tired of the pink at this point. I could take growing it out if we just dyed it purple.

This situation could be solved much easier if making a collective decision about fucling ANYTHING was actually a reasonable goal. We try polls and writing all our ideas down and stuff but that just doesn't work. Something I am worried about though, is making other alters upset, particularly M (presents as transfem in innerworld but were afab so do with that what you will? Idk if im allowed to say shes transfem but it's relevant info) who I love and adore.

They may get very uncomfortable if our hair is cut, as could many others who I might not even get to ask the opinions of if they yk, don't front before we have to decide. But keeping it long also could upset some alter, including myself! Different genders and alter feeling dysphoria about things involving our hair and all wanting to look different... it's a mess.

Also also, we are bad at taking care of ourselves. It's difficult to brush and wash out hair enough, which is way less of a problem if it's shorter.

So, wibta? Please help

(oops! sorry for the inactivity, we are very disabled and our energy crashes HARD)

[bangcakes]

.

[sheismyteacher]

hi loves,

im pretty sure ive alr done all old monthly challenges that used to be on here in 2017/2018 including my own lol but @baeby-tc made a new one and its once again 2am and im missing her so heres summ facts u might not know yet!!!

1. describe your tc’s physical appearance.

shes about my height so 5'7, she has a blonde pixie cut and bright blue eyes, n freckles!! and shes super skinny

2. what was the first thing you’ve ever said to your tc?

probably hi?? i honestly dont remember much from our first class

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

single!! and im taken lol ive been dating my gf for a year n 11 months

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

nerdy looool

5. if you and your tc were in high school together, do you think you’d be friends?

honestly idk? we very well could have been because we were both kinda alt (me leaning towards goth, her leaning towards punk) but also both insanely private introverts lmfsjshhd so we might not even have approached each other

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

savannah by lp hehee we're both lp stans but she got me into her music and the first song we talked abt was savannah

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you’d love to see them wear?

oh girl... 💀💀 i love her w my whole heart but if i see one more silver glimmery cardigan i might lose my mind. id love to see her in jeans and a crop top but shed Never so honestly i'll take anything that's not... horrible

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc’s subject if it meant you two could be together?

haha funny cause... that's literally what im doing... going into my second year of uni... going to do my internship with her this year... ummmmmm.....

9. does your tc drink or smoke?

no!!!

10. name one item that is always on your tc’s desk.

her planner loool shes super organized

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

yea i think I've only been pissed at her once?? i was really struggling with a situation and usually when i rant to her she fucks around and makes jokes n all and im fine with it i dont take myself that seriously but this time i was genuinely rly upset and she didnt rly notice i guess although i alr lowkey told her to stop n she kept making dumbass jokes so i was like "this is genuinely not funny like im being serious for once" and she did apologize which i appreciate but i genuinely think that's the only time ive been upset with her! and shes said things before that other people would see as shocking but has always apologised even when not necessary shes super respectful

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

no actually!! she probably had a job in hs/uni??? but weve never talked abt that wow mayb i should ask her sometime

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

both! she has one younger sister and two sons!

14. are you taking your tc’s class next year?

as i said ive graduated but im acc gonna b an english teacher as well now and imma do my 2nd yr internship w her!!!

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

yes PLSJSJDJDJD at my school musical... and it was lowkey awkward cause i told her all abt how my father is lowkey terrifying so she was cautious as hell 😭😭

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

naw i never have her a reason to

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

noo english has always been my best subject so she never had to.. but if she did i probably messed it up!! shes fair

18. what are your tc’s hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

help shes a dancer and i hate dancing w my entire heart so umm.. no

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

never actually!! we've texted so often but never called?? except if u count the time she (or her son?) called me on accident for about 6 seconds jdjdhd ion think she even knows that happened, i hung up and forgot to mention it again)

20. if you had your tc’s class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

we've texted, but not as much as we used to and it's making me SAD but i feel like we just dont have a lot to say to each other

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

she loves switzerland so let's go

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

she shortens my name sometimes heheh i loooove when people do that

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

no, i don't cry that often, and ESPECIALLY not in public

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

yeah we cycled together a few times! but usually were off on different times

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

yea theres a couple she likes but shes not rlly *friends* with anyone, but we have the same opinions on most teachers

26. what does your tc’s voice sound like?

it's very soft, and not in volume but in vibes? and she has pretty sharp t's and her r's roll a little hehe

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

oh yes 100%

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

im gonna go ahead and assume books, but she does have netflix as well

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

pretty stern? i know a couple of people are lowkey scared of her but like shes not awful she just makes sure the class gets shit done

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

like a friendship! i asked her abt it once (ages ago) and she said that she was tryna figure out how she felt abt me when it came to labels like 'friend' cause im also her ex student etc so she didn't rly wanna call me that yet?? but i think if we keep talking we'll get there. we trust each other immensely

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

firsttt since march 27th 2017 😌

[faejilly]

i hate how everyone felt the need to dictate what alec should or shouldn’t do to save his bf like if izzy didn't jump in front of simon risking her life to save him&jace didn’t risk everyone and everything for clary, same w clary yet when alec thinks of becoming a vampire as a way to save his fiancé that'll still keep him "alive" they flip out like hypocrites

basically what im saying is they all get to do whatever tf they want without getting alec’s thoughts on the matter and when alec does they don’t care (and the narrative glorifies them and gives them moral high grounds like always) but when it comes to alec and magnus suddenly there has to be a whole meeting for everyone to feel comfortable

Hmm. 

Well nonny. I both agree & disagree with what you’re saying here? Like, it’s a consistent problem in the show that everyone does stupid shit all the fucking time (because it’s a melodrama and also they’re mostly all 19 and I’m sorry to my younger readers but everyone is an idiot at 19, we just are, I’m including myself in this, there is no getting around it; we may all be idiots in different ways but it’s still there!) but Alec is both older & the only one who has a story/character-arc about reconciling one’s mistakes, so he’s the only one who ever has to deal with consequences and that is super shitty. It makes everyone else look like assholes even when they’re not supposed to, and it makes his storyline heavier and sadder in comparison to potential hero-moments that other people get. (He never gets to be right, not really, and that’s exhausting.)

Like, I don’t think anyone’s disagreeing that that’s a thing the show does and also that it’s crap. Alec gets judged and everyone else (mostly) gets away with shit. (Every time Clary charges out of the Institute to Do Things™ in season 1? Alec’s legitimate tactical concerns being framed as jealousy over Jace? Izzy & everything remotely related to her sub-plot in 2a? Every time Jace refused to tell anyone anything about what was wrong in 3a? SUMMONING LILITH IN 3B ANYONE? Dear lords. *sighs forever*)

The counter to this is that Alec gets AGENCY, he gets to make decisions about his life and act on them; even when they’re shitty decisions they’re his, and everyone else is mostly just sitting around and reacting to things all the time. (Especially Magnus in 3b OH GODS I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT, but sorry, different post.)

um

I will say, there’s a meeting about Magnus/Heavenly Fire/Edom because Lilith is going to try and destroy the world and so it’s not just about Alec needing to rescue his fiance. It’s not that everyone got together just to judge Alec for making emotional decisions when he’s, you know, legit emotional about things, they do have other issues to discuss.

I also think there’s a difference between most of the crew’s tendency to impulsive & stupid decisions in the field, and Alec’s ability to think tactically and make a decision and throw himself at it in .5 seconds while everyone else is still standing around going wtf? Like, it’s one of my favorite Alec traits, but it’s a little concerning to watch if you love him and don’t know he’s fiction and thus it will all work out in the end.

Like, you can see Alec, in his head, in the same amount of time it takes everyone else to think: oh shit, can we even get to Edom? What now? going: 

I can’t go to Edom as a Nephilim. 

De-Runing won’t work, still have angel blood, how to get rid of Angel blood? 

Some sort of blood curse would be dangerous and would probably take too long and I don’t even know if it would work, have to be a Downworlder. 

There’s no known way to turn into a Seelie or a Warlock, Werewolf change isn’t guaranteed and won’t go into effect until the next full moon, so that’ll REALLY take too long. Vampire will have to kill me and also might not work but the odds are better than curses or Werewolf and I’ll be ready to go tomorrow… any other way? No? 

“Simon Make me a Vampire”

THAT’S NOT NORMAL. 

It’s delightful and I love him, but that’s not how most people’s brains work, so I don’t begrudge the fact that everyone else around him went: what, NO. 

I went oh no, baby, don’t do that and I was totally with him on the thought process. (He will die and he might stay dead and not get up again. Also what’s he gonna eat in Edom? What happens if he loses control and bites Magnus? What’s he going to do in a hell dimension for FOREVER while Lilith tries to kill Magnus? That’s only the start of a plan, where’s the rest of it? And of course he has to kill himself as part of the process! That’s different on a visceral level than the rest of his family’s ability to throw themselves between someone and a sword in the heat of battle.)

Now, to Alec’s credit, I think he’s completely aware of all those follow-up questions, it’s not that he doesn’t know he only has half a plan… he just doesn’t care. His longevity is never a factor when he’s making tactical decisions. 

Which is traumatic for the people who love him, and gets them being all judgey at him when he does it. (Which may not be the best way to express concern but hey, sometimes people are really dumb even when they mean well.)

So yes, I hate that Alec is consistently held up to higher standards than the rest of the cast, I hate that they let him bear the consequences of everything that happens to everyone ever, that the show mostly framed this as reasonable because it was always busy shoving Clary & Jace into the Next Disaster™ and that no one except Magnus ever even seemed to notice that Alec carried everyone else. 

That said… I don’t think everyone being upset at Alec’s “TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE” plan was really a case of them being hypocritical so much as it was a case of them being in denial about how bad the situation they were in actually was: No, that can’t actually be the only way to do this, there’s got to be a better option, right? 

/shameless self-promotion: for further thoughts on Alec as Vampire, pls see my insomnia-fueled not!fic.

Now, part of their disbelief can be attributed to the fact that none of them (except Simon being raped & murdered by Camille, and Isabelle and her yin fen arc) have ever actually faced the consequences of their terrible decisions before, and in both those cases they kind of… never addressed the consequences again later? But I’ve always taken that as a failure in the story-telling  rather than a character trait, iykwim.

The show never deals with consequences and emotional aftermaths, it’s not that sort of show. Can you blame the characters for that, or do you assume it happens off screen and we just never got to see it, because the story never told us that part for anything? (Except notably Magnus’ flashbacks after the agony rune, and there’s a reason that arc is one of a lot of people’s favorites, and it’s mostly HSjr’s amazing performance but it’s also that it is one of the few moments of proper emotional catharsis & follow-through in the whole series.)

It is really just personal preference, I mean, you have to base the characters on what the show gives us, but sometimes, idk. You can disagree with canon. Sometimes canon is wrong, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with basing your enjoyment of media on that premise.

For me it’s important to acknowledge the limits of the media, the style of the show and the pressures of production and scenes where it seems clear that what they’re trying to say and what ended up on screen may not be the same thing, to take character inconsistencies and wonder which ones are part of the character, (because people are inconsistent) and which ones are a side-effect of production errors. *shrugs* ymmv and all that though

[redandfranticfeelings]

an autistic analysis, lyric by lyric, of ‘i love play rehearsal’

ive been hyperfixating over bmc for the last month and i keep thinking about how autistic the main characters are and christine is so very very very autistic coded to me. so i decided im just going to straight up deconstruct the lyrics of her signature song in the context of her being autistic (and also having adhd, but my experience is mostly in autism)

this is very very rambley and based more on personal experience than research, so i doubt itll be interesting to anybody but me, but i just want to talk about christine, the autistic queen

I love play rehearsal Because its the best! Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as its done.

it goes without saying that chrstine’s special interest is theater right? the way she treats it as the “highlight of [her] life” and then switches into this song after acting completely awkward and disinterested in jeremy outside of the context of him being engaged in her special interest.

But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed No, im not into self-harm Dude, I swear, here check my arm!

overexplaining in a way that reads very much like speaking before she thinks, even though bringing up self harm in casual conversation with someone you barely talk to is not exactly proper etiquette. i think this is also an adhd trait? going faster than your own brain. that’s basically this whole song.

See, I just use the word to emphasise a point, Show the passion I have got I am passionate a lot. I have mad, gigantic feelings, Red and frantic feelings, About most everything Like gun control, like spring,

a lot of people assume autistic people are typically emotionless but it’s also very easy for us to get caught up in emotional issues especially when it comes to stuff we love, and it catches us off guard. christine being hyperempathetic is implied later in the show when she has that awful survivors’ guilt over making fun of rich and jake, and it also plays into her being so socially conscious as well.

Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be.

being an high school junior is really rough bc of all the decisions that have to be made regarding college and your future as an independent adult, and being autistic just makes it worse bc it can easily lead to burnout to deal with so much at once, if you even can comprehend these things much at all (i had no idea what to do, lol). i doubted my ability to grow up and succeed constantly because i had no idea who to talk to and what questions to ask and how to present myself. that’s something that a lot of people worry about, but having social delays makes it way more of a pressing issue than it is for neurotypicals, i feel.

I also have a touch of ADD. Where was I? Oh, right!

self explanatory and very canon. adhd and autism can be diagnosed simultaneously nowadays and the symptoms overlap a lot, btw.

I love play rehearsal, Cause’ you are equiped with direction and text, Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next. Anywho the point that I’m getting to is sometimes life can’t work out in the way It works out in the play

this part screams autistic culture to me. unpredictability is scary because social situations don’t always go smoothly like in fiction! this is why social scripting is a popular therapy tactic for autistic children- you have to manually study social situations like a script. theater is something meant to be memorized and recited until you’re able to process it and manufacture emotion, but honestly for autistic kids, life feels a lot like that sometimes. remember how miserable she got when one of her favorite plays had the script changed without her permission to make a whole new story she doesn’t know? of course that’s just upsetting on its own, but in the context of her knowing theater so well and being fully prepared for one story only to be forced to learn a new one? ouch.

christine is never shown as comfortable outside her element- she hides in a book during “more than survive” and shrinks into nothing at the party. it’s a recurring theme that she has no idea exactly who she is, struggles with her identity outside of theater, and despite not really caring about how people see her, she does care about her own ability. socializing makes her feel awkward, especially when something totally unexpected happens like jake or jeremy asking her out. if she doesn’t have a plan or routine or, well, a script, then she can’t trust herself to go forward.

Like the only time I get to be the center of attention, Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois

as an autistic theater kid, i just really do relate to being clueless and dumb in real life but being able to totally thrive on the stage, because you can channel the energy that is usually misplaced in real life social interactions, and transfer it through dialogue and song and dance that someone else laid out nicely for you.

and can I mention? That was really one of my best roles, Did you see that?

an epic combination of letting your mind wander easily without caring about making sense to the person you’re speaking to, and taking every opportunity to infodump. in a lot of productions she even mimics her blanche voice just for fun. jeremy tries to respond here but she doesn’t care because she’s in her own brain where everything only really seems to make sense to her.

And no matter how hard I try, It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why, I love play rehearsal. I happiness cry whenever it starts!

if she isn’t being hyperbolic then this plays into my ‘so much emotion it’s hard to control’ thing detailed a bit above. either way, big special interest mood.

It’s just so universal Getting to try playing so many parts. Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, The thought of that gives me hives! I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue,

it’s a lot easier to lose yourself and connect to your special interest than focus on your very complex, very overwhelming real life issues. escaping into fiction and being able to play in a variety of social situations as a totally different person, yay theater!

in general i just like the idea of christine struggling to visualize who she is and thinking about a lot of hypothetical but being unable to choose which one is most desirable or plausible. idk if that’s autistic or just a fun character trait lol. i know jumping from interest to interest is an adhd thing though.

this little passage is good for at least showing that christine distinguishes herself from ‘most humans’ in a way that isn’t so much ‘not like other girls’ but like ‘life is so much more confusing to me than it seems to be to others’ (which the show proposes isn’t exactly true and is the same closed-mindedness that jeremy has, though christine realizes it sooner; however; the sentiment rings true in that christine, as a neurodiverse young woman, has a lot more hoops to jump through than a neurotypical classmate.)

And why am I telling this to you? Guess there’s a part of me that wants to.

jeremy is also very autistic coded in my eyes, but that’s a separate post. i just like them being drawn to each other through that sort of kinship. also if you interpret her as having an unrealized requited crush on him…well, i think for a lot of us, romantic love is easy to confuse with friend love, if even that, because the specifics of emotions are a mess to unravel. (which also explains her confusion on her relationship with jake)

oh and right after this, she starts squawking just because she had the impulse to do so. vocal stimming, much?

Back to play rehearsal, My brain is like ‘bzzz’ My heart is like 'wow’

my brain is always like bzzz honestly lol. this is generally a pretty good way to describe being hyperfocused.

Because we’re here at play rehearsal, and it’s starting, We’re starting, It’s starting, Sooo-ooon.

it’s been confirmed as a deliberate decision that christine’s songs never end on a rhyme, except when she’s squipped and it isn’t ‘really’ her, because she subverts everyone’s expectations, including jeremy’s. i feel that could make for a nice simplified metaphor for autism, right?

[morgansfave]

so sometimes i go through these phases where I'm 110% done with life

then there are times like this.

I've been with this guy for almost two months now and I can't remember the last time i was this mentally exhausted. it's like, why am i putting myself though this? he's not abusive or anything and I'll get to him again later, but a relationship shouldn't CONSTANTLY feel like just another thing you have to deal with on top of everything else. I absolutely give up on talking to any of my friends about this because it always has one of three outcomes (or two or all):

they don't care

they tell me im being dramatic

they defend him/take his side

i just don't feel like dealing with that anymore, or at least at the moment. i don't want to have my feelings invalidated anymore. I'd rather just keep it bottled up at this point. and then i start thinking, are they really my friends? or do they just feel bad for me? or am i that annoying kid who can't take a hint/they don't know how to tell me to fuck off? because they're always belittling me. It's like I'm their fucking punching bag.

because I am. because I allow myself to be.

me and my passive, nonconfrontational ways. I'd rather take constant abuse than say or do anything to defend myself.

my "friends" as i will now refer to them honestly suck. i get that relationships are important to people, but i couldn't imagine completely abandoning my friends for my boyfriend. I'd NEVER. and they'd be pissed at me if i did. but I'm supposed to be okay with them doing it? it's fucking bullshit.

back to the boyfriend thing. god where do i even start. is he a bad boyfriend...no. maybe? i don't know. it's so fucking exhausting I can't stress this enough. I don't remember exactly how we met but i think it was some stupid instagram group chat. and we became best friends and i developed feelings because I'm a dumb bitch who catches feelings too fast. but the feelings i had for him weren't gone in a week like they normally were and i knew i was in trouble. i eventually told him how i felt in September and he miraculously liked me back. since that day, I've spent every single day wondering if he does actually like me or if he just didn't want to hurt my feelings, because sometimes it feels like the latter. I'd blame it on my paranoia, but I'm not the only one who sees it this way. in the past three days we've had maybe two full conversations??? (and i get being busy, but how hard is that to communicate? it takes seconds to say "hey I'm busy can't talk" but with him its more like, an 8 hour silence with a "hi" and the occasional "i miss you" i know im overly sensitive about everything, including this situation, but I can't be the only one who gets this).

i try so hard. and i don't necessarily mean in my relationship, but life in general i guess. i try so fucking hard and it's exhausting. i try so hard to fit in. i try so hard to be a good friend. a good girlfriend. a good person. i try so hard to do well in school. i try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. i try so hard to see the good in people.

someone once said that when you view the world through rose tinted glasses, red flags just look like flags. sure, i understood it upon first reading it, but now i understand it. I'd like to apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors from this point on (or at any point, really. I've never cared for proofreading) since im currently bawling my eyes out, but that's neither here nor there.

so my boyfriend does this specific thing a lot, I won't say what it is because it's a dumb thing to feel this upset about and i feel pathetic for crying over this, but at the same time i believe my feelings are valid, but he does this SO much and it hurts so much more than it should. i did mention my oversensitivity, earlier.

maybe I'm overreacting but when someone tells you that you're doing something that bothers them, you should actually try to fucking stop doing that thing if you care about them. within reason of course. the little things like telling cruel jokes at their expense, not asking to change something about you (physical appearance, personality, etc.). I've told this guy more times than i can count how much this thing hurts me and how much I've cried over it and it always goes the exact same "I'm sorry" and i forgive him, like a dumbass, and he does it again.

every. single. goddamn. time.

and i think, how much more of this can i tolerate? I'm so tired of talking about the same thing over and over and nothing changing. it's a waste of time.

he's also the type of guy who treats you different depending on who's there. when it's just us, it's amazing. but if even one of his friends is there, I'm almost invisible.

I'd talk to him about it but I don't see a point. it's a whole fucking cycle and im tired of being the only one left hurt and crying for days while he's having the fucking time of his life. if i didn't love him so much I'd let him go. I would've let him go a long time ago. the first time he did what i told him hurt me AGAIN. god why is everything in my life such a mess? i always tell myself to listen to my mother because when she doesn't like someone I'm involved with whether it be romantically or platonically, there's a reason. in all my years she's never been wrong ONCE. and i tell myself "maybe she's wrong about this one" and you know what? she probably will be wrong about a person one day, but it's never the person i want it to be.

she tells me a lot about this because she was in my position once. she doesn't want me to end up like her. brainwashed, naive, and pregnant before my life even started. luckily her life turns itself around, but that's rare. she doesn't want that for me and I'm so glad she's always there for me during the fallout after not listening to her.

it makes me feel bad for taking her advice for granted.

should i leave him? i have no fucking clue. do i want to? no, but if things don't change, i see no reason to stay. i can only remember very few times in my life where I've been this down and just tired. idk. rant over.

[rainingincale]

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I was tagged by the lovely @davidfors5 thank you so much  😭 😭 😭

1. fave character from each remake and why?

Skam Austin: Poonam Para. I know that she’s a side character and honestly i was close to saying Jo, Kelsey or Shay but she’s my fav. I think i just see a lot of myself in her and i like how she’s a completely new and different character. She’s funny and upfront and unique and I feel extremely understood and I hope we get to see more of her.

Skam France: Imane Bakhellal. Again i was really close to saying Yann or Lucas but i think just purely because of how much i can relate to Imane and understand her she’s my fav.

Druck: David Schreibner. While i definitely relate to Matteo the most and love Amira to no end, David is hands down my favourite. He’s such an icon and he especially makes me love Druck so much. I can’t really explain why he’s my favourite so much, this one is really more of like i feel it in my soul that he’s my favourite and that’s why.

Skam España: Joana Bianchi. I... I wanted to say Amira or Lucas because i love them so freaking much and this one was honestly the hardest for me to decide but it is Joana. I don’t know what it is but i just deeply care for her so much.

Skam NL: Liv Reijners. Although i really do love like all the NL characters. Liv i decided to pick because she can sing and i love her style and she’s strong and independent and i feel like she’s a really unique noora and i just. love everything about her. I can’t find a single fault  🙈

2. fave musical moment?

Skam: håper du har plass playing when the girls go to get Sana, i think we all cry every time and i still listen to that song to this day

Skam Austin: honestly… cloutie 4 lyfe go listen to clout from grandma’s closet on soundcloud i stg their talent… is unparalleled (honorary mention, when Megan’s upset and crying and goes to see Marlon and they play the fricking meme song and stop it at “run.” i die every time)

Skam France: what else could i say other than when Lucas played ‘i love you’ on the piano like chills lich rally chills luv (honorary mention how the music goes all soft the first time Lucas sees Eliott, again iconic)

Druck: this is hard like i kind of just wanna say whenever they’ve ever used a song it’s been absolutely perfect, i think i’ll say during the first kiss clip though when they go to hold their breath and the music with the water sound effects like aaaa ded

Skam España: the last clip when they go to kiss and ‘I Follow Rivers’ starts playing like... it’s just perfect like everything comes full circle and im CRYING

Skam NL: another remake that always picks perfect music, i think my fav is whenever Liv goes to the mic to sing like i love her singing voice so much

3. if you could make your own season, who would it be about and what would happen?

I have thought about this so much it’s almost funny lmao. There’s just so much potential with Skam and then if you factor in the remakes like... absolutely spoilt for choice omfg. I’d love a Jonas season because he’s great but i really dont know what it’d even be about, Mahdi is another character i’ve always felt immensely interested in and i would love to know more about him. In the middle of typing this i’ve come to a decision actually lmao. Two words- BALLOON. SQUAD. They are literally my favourite thing about og ever seriously and Elias is my favourite Skam character. So idk maybe a season about them? and maybe about their friend group and how they’re all drifting apart or brotherhood or like healthy male friendships where they are there for each other and shit or about Even becoming friends with them again or IDK. but i know i’d have loved a season centered on them and if i had a greater mind i’d be able to come up with a good plot for them too lmao.

4. rank the sanas ( I’m evil I know )

This is literally the worst question I’ve ever seen and yes you are evil

Sana, Amira TM, Amira N, Imane, Zoya, Esra, Imaan.

BUT THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY MY FAVOURITE 

5. fave season from each remake and why?

Skam Austin: Unpopular Opinion but i really loved season 1, however, I think i have to say season 2 because of how fucking well they developed all the characters like giving the cast input into the story was the best decision Skam Austin could’ve ever made. Also, Clout From Grandma’s Closet? like need i say more

Skam France: I only watched 3 and 4 and my fav is 3. Very good homage to OG with the story telling and made me absolutely fall in love with Lucas and Eliott. Like I went through the same motions as i did when i watched OG and it was nice to be reminded of that. Also liked the small changes they made like the Polaris thing that was iconic

Druck: SEASON 3. what an emotional fucking roller coaster. They had me hooked every single minute of the day and still do now. I love Matteo and how they changed the story up like im still pissed about the pacing kind of but honestly i loved season 3 and still rewatch it. the music was perfect, development of the characters, the softness. everything was just so good

Skam NL: As much as i love Liv I have to say season 1. it was goregously done, i loved the aesthetic and Isa is such a realistic and relatable character. Also her moments with Kes and Lucas and the moments with the girl squad, like it was just a really iconic start to an awesome series.

Skam España: I’ve only watched season 2 but i know even if i watched season 1 i would still say season 2 lmao. Honestly there is not a SINGLE thing they did wrong. like the story was perfect, the honour they did to og, how they switched the relationships up. it genuinely was just fucking perfect (except the whole panphobia thing. if that comment wasn’t said spain would have the best remake)

6. What’s your opinion on s2? what do you like and dislike the most? which remake made the best s2? (españa doesn’t count)

I am going to be truthful here and say that when i was first watching OG and watched season 2 I did like it but after growing up a bit and reflecting I now honestly really dont. like i’ve tried to avoid that season in remakes as much as i can (i’ve failed and the only noorhell i’ve not seen is frances one). I think what got me at first was the whole like layers thing to William. how there was more to him and also like the typical fanfic tropey moments between them. what i like about season 2 is the SA storyline, like that is an extremely important topic that needs to be talked about more so i like how it brought light to that and also how they show Noora handling the situation and how the girl squad are and i <3. What i dislike is how William uses Vilde and is so manipulative and ANNOYING omfg. Like i can’t explain how much his entitled rich ass frustrates me and how broken down Noora is by him.

7. what representation would you like to see in Skam (other than more wlw)?

Honestly i’d like to see more ethnic minorities tbh, especially like maybe some east asian people? I want skam to be the type of thing that no matter who you are you can see yourself represented in it and while the remakes and og do an alright job of it, i’d love to see more. i’ll say this this til the day i die- REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT

8. what country would you like to see a remake and why?

My biased ass is screaming Skam Scotland because like i would be able to relate to it so much and I’d love it with my entire soul but also just somewhere where the majority of the population isnt white. would be lovely for it to be in like India or Pakistan maybe so that I could personally relate to it but honestly anywhere with POC would be an absolute WIN for me. i suggest Skam Scotland where the girl and boy squad are south asians/east asians + black with the good ol’ token white friend! Hire me

9. fave head canon?

Honestly any (head)canon that says anyone is not cishet is like 👌 

10. sort characters into Hogwarts houses

I was going to do the characters from all the remakes when i realised... they’re all essentially the same each time I- anyways lmao

Hufflepuff -  Magnus, Even, Chris, Vilde, Mikael, Yousef, Linn

Slytherin - Sana, Isak

Gryffindor - Mahdi, Elias, Eva, Adam, Mutasim, Eskild

Ravenclaw - Jonas, Noora

This is mostly based off pure gut instinct idk

11. tell me your best crossover idea

How all the remakes seem to have the girl squads going on summer roads trips I kinda had this thought that maybe like the groups in each of the different remakes and og decide to go on a big friends holiday and everyone ends up in the same place and they all meet. none of the isaks really get along with each other, all the evens of course become best friends on the spot etc etc. i just want everyone to automatically become best friends im not good at coming up with ideas for these sorts of things sorry lmao

~

For my 11 questions:

Which remake/og sqaud do you think you would personally fit into the most?

What is your favourite remake and why?

What is objectively the best remake and why?

Opinions on each of the girl squads?

Favourite hairstyle out of all the remakes? (this includes any hijab styles of the Sanas)

Who do you think from og/remakes would have a youtube channel and what would they post about? (not including hei briskeby or lucas rubio’s yt channel)

Pick someone you think is underappreciated from og/remakes and explain why you think they should be appreciated more

Favourite outfit/clothing item?

Which character do you think is most similar to you?

Do you like the Eva season (season 1)?

Insert your own question that you’d like to answer!

I will tag @thedavideffect @pansexualevenbech @2ndbest @joanascris @hufflepuff-ish @matteoluigiflorenzi @liveterna2 @bbibbicole @xxrps @happoa @eleaha but don’t do this if you don’t want to! and if you see this but i haven't please go for it i would’ve tagged everyone humanly possible but alas i had to pick 11 lmao but i love reading different peoples thoughts so yeah. pls do if you want to <3 

[gloxinian]

ik i talked to him abt wanting to still be friends but, after thinking a lot, i’m really not comfortable still talking to somebody that was that toxic to me fr so long.  and ik posting this might not be the “classiest” thing to do but i feel like i have to get it off my chest bc otherwise a part of me is pushing to say “it wasn’t that bad” or to excuse it bc “well he apologized and said he wouldn’t do it again” even tho he kept doing these things and showed literally no signs of changing.  and i’m so tired of entering these conversations and having it lead to no change or be twisted to be about pitying him.  this isn’t really a callout or anything so i’m leaving his name out and there aren’t receipts or anything.  it might sound trivial bc i’m starting with the small stuff and working forward but idk.  i’m just tired and felt like i needed to write smth out.

im not sure the best way to word this, but i never felt like i could enjoy things or have things just fr myself.  the only way i could talk abt things was if i was criticizing them or it was smth he loved.  these are just a few things and alone each of them would just be annoying, but it all just compounded into making me feel miserable like i wasn’t allowed to love anything.

when i showed him a series that was very important to me, the first the he did was insult the art style, characters, story, etc.

when i started getting excited about pokemon swsh and the new pokemon, he immediately started mocking my favorite ones and sending me posts/articles talking abt how the game was going to be garbage, even after i asked him to stop.

when i got my first noise cancelling headphones and was excited abt how well they worked, he immediately told me that it was a good thing they were noise cancelling so i wouldn’t be able to hear him crying.

constantly glancing over my shoulder and making fun of what he saw me playing or enjoying.  new game he doesn’t play?  looks stupid/cheap/boring.  not doing great?  makes fun of me for doing poor even after i repeatedly tell him to stop.

and whenever he said something particularly upsetting like that headphones thing, he would immediately say “oh it’s an intrusive thought” or “oh it was just a joke” when i got upset and confronted him about it.  and he’d immediately turn around and make the situation about him and how i should be pitying him.

the worst examples of this come from over a year ago when i was still in college.  my depression was hitting me really hard bc i was back living at home instead of dorms, i was struggling really hard with classes, and had teachers that mocked me whenever i tried to ask questions.  i was actively suicidal during this time and had repeatedly expressed worries to friends and family that i wouldn’t be able to support myself in the future, that i was a failure, and i felt like my only option was to drop out so i would have at least some control in my life.  this was the lowest point i’d ever been.  i’m going to list a few things that happened from smallest to worst and it’s important they all happened during this time.  and he was aware this is how i was during this time.

he was friends with somebody that actively hated me.  fine, not that big of a deal bc friends don’t always get along with boyfriends.  but how this was handled was absolutely horrid.  this friend insulted me whenever i spoke, even told me i shouldn’t talk period.  he kept being friends with them and insisting we hang out more.  that friendship only ended after (1) they accused me of being a pedophile bc i felt physically sick hearing ppl talk abt loli/shota stuff.  and i was the only one who called this out for being so.  fucked up.  to call someone that for being distressed by even seeing cp terms.  he only said he’d talk to said friend after i was incredibly/vocally upset abt this. 

one night depression almost got the best of me and i stopped responding to any calls/texts/etc.  said friend got annoyed he was scared i might actually be dead.  this was the event that actually ended that friendship and honestly i’m mostly upset it took that friend literally not caring if i was dead for my boyfriend to actually give a shit how i was being treated.

he fucking.  cheated on me.  and told me how he was planning on moving in with the person he was cheating on me with “in case things didn’t work out with me”.  he knew i was suicidal over being uncertain about my future and did this, even telling me he was cheating on me BECAUSE of me being suicidal and uncertain.

the worst thing for me is that ofc he managed to make this about him.  maybe it doesn’t make sense for it to feel worse, but it does to me for some reason.  last time we even spoke about him cheating on me, he went on and on about how he hurt he was bc he felt used by the person he cheated on me with.  bc that person stopped talking to him after he told them he didn’t want to do sexual stuff anymore. 

things didn’t really get “better” or anything once i graduated.  if anything, they just got more stressful.  i was still stressed at whether i’d be able to support myself, but a bit more stable now that i had a job and a degree.  my ex moved in with the promise that he would be working to get a job so that he could support himself, grow confidence, and keep things equal.  i don’t.  have the energy to detail everything and don’t know if it’s right.  but the short of it is that i constantly had to nag him to even send out applications and he didn’t even want to go to interviews.  things got really stressful between us and it eventually came out (after i told him the relationship was unhealthy and unbalanced, that i had no desire to support him entirely as this was a source of extreme stress and a lot to ask of someone new to the work force, etc) that he expected me to fully support him financially and that was what he wanted.

he wanted me to fully support him financially, to take responsibility for improving his entire emotional maturity and recovery without taking any initiative, and to fully care for him once i got home from a full day of work (as i’ve been doing).  there was never a “what can i do for you?” or any signs/desire for positive change.  it was only “what are you going to do for me?”.  the relationship was incredibly unhealthy, unblanced, and it was clear that i wasn’t a partner but a surrogate caretaker.  and when i broke up with him, he accused me of breaking my promise to support him.

and i just.  i’m tired.  the whole relationship felt manipulative and unhealthy, looking back.  i don’t know.  maybe i’m wrong.  but i just don’t feel comfortable continuing to speak to somebody who repeatedly put me down, treated me like an expendable resource, and targeted the thing they knew i was most vulnerable about (my own independence and being able to support myself) when he knew that had made me suicidal in the past.

i know we have some shared friends and he’s probably going to paint me like some villain to you guys.  he already compared me to his previous abuser multiple times.  i don’t want to start some stupid “war” or drama or whatever and won’t push back or argue or anything because i have a ton on my plate both health and financially right now.  i don’t have the energy for stupid drama.  maybe i included more details than i should have, but i also left out a lot of details because i’m not really sure how much is appropriate here since this isn’t a callout or whatever.  there aren’t “receipts” since many of these things were personal interactions and i’m not looking to prove anything or make a callout.  you don’t have to believe me or read this or idk.

i just wanted to get this all off my chest.

[drashleighreid]

mel, you are worth so much more than that. even after reading their response it’s so obvious the way it was so “““well-written and Composed””” that they were just trying to come across as sincere and respectful- meanwhile throwing little jabs at you in practically every sentence. it reeks of bullshit and still doesn’t cover up the fact they they just.. up and left. anyway i’m sure you don’t want to keep dwelling on it but just know that a lot of people here love you and are here for you

thank you so much. i don’t want to start a whole thing and it’s really just made me super sad and upset because i don’t know what really triggered her to become so cold and callous all of a sudden. i’ve had strangers reach out to me, people i’m estranged from reach out to me, and someone who i thought was one of my closest friends blocked me lol and has been calling me manipulative and vindictive and actively making everything so much worse. 

i honestly only read the response once because i was in a really unstable place and i don’t want to get back there so i probably won’t read it again but it was really upsetting. a lot of the stuff she brought up were things i said to her in confidence relating to my neurodivergence and how adhd affects the way that i socialise. it was taken wildly out of context and broadcasted to her 20k followers which is what was really upsetting. im very aware of my faults and do my best to not let these things become toxic but me bringing up how important she was to me and how i tend to only have one best friend at a time was approached through the lens of me just wanting to express how adhd makes me attach to people and focus on one friend at a time. i said these things with vulnerability and full knowledge of the fact that her friendship style was very different from mine and i just wanted to express it so that there would be open communication and so that we could navigate it in a way that suited both of us. but it never really got across like that i guess and the friendship became kind of difficult and i could tell she was resenting me for bringing up these discussions and wanting to talk about it. i felt very sensitive and vulnerable in the friendship because of other things going on in my life and because our conversations felt really different and i could tell something had changed. i tried for ages to have an open discussion about it but i guess she can only tell me how she really feels when she has an audience lol. the times we did speak about it she assured me that ‘youre supposed to be able to ask for things in friendships’ so i did. i asked for more communication, i told her i felt vulnerable and sensitive and like she was pulling away, i asked why we weren’t headcanoning or talking as much as we used to, and then i could tell she was resenting me for it, vague posting about people ‘expecting too much from her’ instead of telling me directly when all i was doing was asking her to just tell me how she felt but she could never ‘articulate her thoughts’. 

and last weekend i thought we were in a good place. we’d had a discussion about 4 days prior about being more communicative and open and i thought everything was fine. then on the monday i had a really, really bad day. i was in the midst of packing to move house, had to trek across town to sign paperwork, had a director workshop and a screening to go to, was feeling sad about not having a support network here and having to do all of this stuff alone when i haven’t moved out by myself before, got a weird call telling me i owed a huge tax bill which ended up being a scam but came at the worst possible time lkjsf, just hit a super low point mentally, and then during the middle of that when i was literally sobbing in a starbucks and people were looking at me i got a string of messages from her that essentially said ‘you should go to the hospital. we should stop being friends. get some help’ and i literally couldnt think of anything worse to say to someone in a crisis. that could have waited. also literally nothing preceded that. me feeling so crummy wasn’t even about her but that just made me spiral more and made me feel so awful because she was someone i cared about and thought i could rely on for support. then when i, quite manically, asked her what was going on and explained my side she just blocked me on everything lol. so thats that on that. 

im sure she has her own perspective on the situation but to me its just been so cold and upsetting and confusing? i literally don’t know what changed that got us to this point. she doesn’t have to be here for me or talk to me or support me if she’s stressed out or busy with school, but she doesn’t have to actively make things worse. i literally wouldnt do this to my worst enemy if i knew they were in a really low, unstable mental place. im allowed to vague on my own blog. i never used her name, im not even in her same circles. i barely speak to anyone in the pp fandom. so unless she’s telling people what’s going on and they’re lurking me, then i highly doubt anyone would put 2 and 2 together. the people ive been speaking to about this are my therapist, my mother, and a RL friend lol. she was the one who said that us having no connection on social media would be best for us then she lurks me and broadcasts personal things to thousands of people? after randomly cutting off all communication when im having a really rough time? i just dont understand how me being upset about this makes me ‘vindictive’. also the basis of the whole argument - hers included - is that i loved her and enjoyed her company so much that i wished i could speak to her more... fuck me, right? 

anyway, thank you for your support. idk if this is gonna spark a whole other thing but im honestly just sad and done with it now. ive had a lot of people show me support over the past few days and it’s felt really nice to remember how loved i am and that there are people out there who actually want to talk to me and enjoy my friendship and me, entirely the way that i am. 

i hope you have a really lovely day, i love you too x 

[raptorific]

i agree with what ur saying wrt the deadpool post but then i went and saw dp2 amd was surprised bc it really is about dp rejection cycles of revenge and embracing compassion and mercy (to some extent) and idk im just confused about why you would reject it so wholeheartedly when the movie really is trying to say the same thing your post is. am i wrong about the movie or do you dislike what it represents to other people & therefore any individual adaptation cannot redeem the concept as a whole?

The plot of Deadpool 2 is too incoherent and nihilistic to say literally anything about anything, honestly. I’m probably gonna say some spoilers in my post so here’s hoping you have some combination of the phrase “deadpool spoilers” blacklisted if you care! I don’t wanna get angry messages about how I spoiled the movie for you because I gave you all three whole paragraphs to hit “J” and skip to the next post before I even mention a single plot detail.

Now, I’ve read detailed plot descriptions of Deadpool 2-- I haven’t seen it because honestly I just can’t bring myself to give money to a project that I feel like should’ve been mothballed within the hour after the production team killed that stuntwoman, and frankly I think less of anyone involved with the project who didn’t walk off set rather than continue making the movie after that-- but I know the whole plot and frankly it sounds like I haven’t missed very much. 

So, the issue with Deadpool 2 is essentially that it carries the same insulting-to-the-audience’s-intelligence thesis statement as “South Park,” which is “got a problem? you’re just overthinking it, who cares this much, it’s just a movie, shut up and enjoy it.” The majority of the time I have an issue with people using the word “plotholes” when an ounce of critical thinking would resolve the problem, but in the case of Deadpool 2, the plot only makes sense if you aggressively refuse to think critically about it.

For example, and here’s where the spoilers start: the villain, Cable AKA Not-Thanos, has come back in time to prevent the murder of his wife and family. Deadpool eventually manages to help him in this endeavor, but gives up his life in the process. Cable’s time machine only has one use left, and he sacrifices his ability to return to the future and be with his family in order to save Deadpool’s life as thanks for his help, trapping him in the present day forever. There’s an ending you can work with, some real pathos, a conflict that you can really truly sink your teeth into as a media consumer. But does it matter? Nah, because Negasonic fixes the time machine in literally the next scene. 

So why doesn’t he just use the now-fixed time machine to go back home? The movie doesn’t stay! The plot, and Brolin’s multi-picture contract, requires Cable to be trapped in the present because his time machine broke, and “the time machine can be, and has been, fixed” seems like a pretty glaring inconsistency to me. The film gives no indication that the fact that Deadpool can give Cable back his ride home will be addressed or resolved in later films. 

In my opinion this is a way more glaring issue than “why doesn’t Thanos just make more resources,” since at least with that you can pretend the answer is “because what he really wants is to kill half the universe, and making more resources doesn’t enable him to do that.” The answer for this is basically just “this isn’t a movie that expects you to give anything a second thought or remember anything but the set-up for the punchline you’re currently hearing.”

There’s also the issue of him going back in time and killing “X-Men Origins Wolverine” Deadpool. I get that it’s a joke but it makes zero sense. A joke that’s only funny if you don’t think about it at all isn’t actually funny. Did Wolverine rewrite that timeline so the current version of Deadpool exists instead of that one? Then why is he able to travel back into a movie that never happened. Did that movie happen as part of this Deadpool’s backstory? Then how can he kill his past self and still exist? The entire joke is “clap if you know what we’re referencing!” and anyone who thinks it’s stupid is just being a buzzkill and overthinking it. 

Which brings me to the other issue-- no part of Deadpool’s character journey in this movie matters in the slightest. None of it. Because it didn’t happen. At the end of the movie he goes back in time and literally erases the plot of the movie. The writers fridged his girlfriend in the opening scene so they could have a whole movie about what happens to Deadpool when his girlfriend dies, but they didn’t feel like committing to it, so they go basically end the movie with a big “just kidding! this was all a What-If situation and none of it actually happened, but if it did, that’s how it would’ve gone down!” They really wanted to have their overtly sexist cake and eat it too!

In order for the story to make sense, the status quo going into Deadpool 3 has to be exactly the same as the status quo going into Deadpool 2, but I know that won��t be the case. I’m sure that, other than Morena Baccarin being in it, the franchise will straight-up never address why Cable can’t go home or how a plot that revolves around Morena Baccarin being unceremoniously fridged in the first scene (by writers who admit they didn’t even know that “women in refrigerators” is a thing until people got upset about it in their movie) can have happened when she’s clearly still alive. 

And that’s the big issue I have and why Deadpool 2 is included in my post about soulless, cynical, insulting entries in the superhero genre. It’s a movie that not only doesn’t make sense, it’s a movie that goes out of its way to spit in the face of anyone who expects it to make sense or ever actually thinks about the movies they watch. 

The movie is absolutely not trying to say the same thing as my post. Deadpool’s brand of casual liefeldian ultraviolence is inherently antithetical to my post’s thesis statement. The only way to make a Deadpool movie that isn’t directly counter to the point I’m trying to make is to either omit him entirely from the movie or portray him unambiguously as a villain. There is no such thing as a Deadpool movie that is not an insult to the superhero genre. His existence as a character is antithetical to the values of mercy, compassion, and reverence for human life. 

Ultimately, the answer to “am I wrong about the movie?” is up to you. If you’re asking me, the answer is “if you like it, then yes.” I’m sure other people find value in it or enjoy it, and I think those people have the wrong opinion, just like I’m sure they think I have the wrong opinion because I hate, and I mean truly despise, the Deadpool movies, the Deadpool comics, and all the Deadpool merchandise at your local FYE. I’m not equipped to tell you that you’re wrong about the movie. This is my position on this movie, if you disagree with it, then as far as you’re concerned, you were right about the movie. If you agree with it, then as far as you’re concerned you were once wrong but now you’re right. You own your opinions and you’re the one who has to decide whether or not they’re the right ones. Anyone who disagrees with my take completely is well within their rights to do so, because I sure as hell disagree with them. They can even think I’m an absolute moron who just wants to rain on people’s parade, doesn’t make an ounce of difference to me. 

Personally, I’m really not interested in changing anyone’s mind. I’m confident my opinion is correct so, just to deter any other anons (I know who this anon is and they’re not a dick, so this part isn’t addressed at them) it would be pointless to try and argue with me. If you think I’m wrong, great, the feeling’s mutual, but I have zero interest in changing my mind or yours beyond what I’ve already done, stating my position and you either agree or disagree. I think you’re wrong and I can live with that. I only ask the same courtesy. 

I also don’t think Ryan Reynolds should’ve been given a second chance to play the character, and tbh I think the main reason he still has an acting career is because he’s a generically inoffensive white dude with name recognition but not much else going for him, but that’s a matter for a different post. 

[bwimini]

about that nicki thing, id never heard anything about nickis "problematic side" before so it wouldnt be a stretch to assume that bts haven't either, tbh im pretty sure most of them dont keep up with western drama.. anyway unpopular opinion incoming but i didnt think nickis part in idol was that great anyway :/ so idk why it was even necessary for this messy situation to happen, i love bts!!! i just think nickis 30 seconds in idol arent rlly worth the drama, imo the collab was unnecessary

hm i mean yeah not everyone knows, but big hit management is so meticulous with everything? i highly doubt that they don’t know about any of this, same with the boys, maybe they didn’t know at the time, but they certainly do now considering how big of a situation it is. for a group that talks so much about ‘if we don’t talk about social issues, who will’ they probably DO keep up with western drama, remember change ft wale? wale was a sweetie and that’s the one collab that made me feel happy for them, esp namjoon knowing how much he admires wale. but anyways not an unpopular opinion at all i think most people didn’t see the point of having nicki in the song so yeahhh you’re not alone in this, it really was unnecessary but.. publicity amirite

Anonymous said: 1)that anon was shitty not only because they acted rude but also didn’t want to accept the fact that bts can make mistakes too. the fandom is too selective in terms of handling criticism. like it’s always the people behind the curtain that make them do problematic things and bts is the one to be praised when good things happen. but tbh moving on from their mistakes is what made me believe that they learn from them. for example, they used to listen to kanye but now they don’t support him anymore.

yes!! to all of this!!! i get wanting to focus on the good side of things and not wanting to talk about the very unfortunate part in all of this, it’s a sensitive topic for a lot of people! including myself! so yeah i think we’re allowed to be upset. i agree with everything you just said tbh, i don’t think there’s anything else i can add

Anonymous said: i think problems should be pointed out when they happen so they can be solved, and i understand that people are afraid of harming the boys because they are the ones facing the criticism. i just want the anon to know that it’s just toxic to support someone no matter what they do, for you and for the fandom, more toxic than questioning things logically and kindly like tori did, which is actually not toxic at all.

i agree, i think not talking about it can be just as harmful. it’s okay to have divergent opinions, that’s bound to happen in such a huge fandom like ours, that just keeps getting bigger every day. but it’s also harmful to expect everyone to have the same opinion and accept everything they throw at us? i just wanted to talk about something that had been making me sad, i didn’t mean to upset anyone and i specifically asked not to read my tags if people don’t want to think about the negative sides of this. or do the simpler thing and unfollow me, no hard feelings, your dash should be your safe place, i want my blog to be a safe place for people, so i’m sorry if i disappointed you guys today. i just couldn’t keep it all in anymore and i just want to say to everyone who’s feeling the same way about this whole thing, your feelings are valid so please don’t feel bad for feeling the way you do. and anonie thank you for saying the way i approached the subject wasn’t toxic, that’s all i wanted, really.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi

An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.

i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈

This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.

~

I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂

Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)

So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.

Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.

https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44

My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it. 

Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play. 

Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye

Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈

this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days

So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.

Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.

Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.

Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.

Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.

Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.

Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.

Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 5 - they finally swapped us - Austin

I’m taking more of a leadership role on this tribe, trying to make more calls with the challenge. On a smaller tribe it is less risky to do that, and also more risky to go to tribal if people find a reason to target you its easy to get numbers. Dylan especially is a worry for me, in the past he has turned on me for absolutely no reason, so idk how much I can trust him. Dan seems ok, he gave us good intel about the other tribe. Still makes sense to vote him out if we go to tribal though lets not make enemies out of the og tribe just to save one guy.

Tribe swap. Honestly I’m not freakin out abt it bc I’ve got Stephen & Austin who’ve both been pretty good in challenges so. Hopefully I can Michelle my way to the merge Even seems chill he’s just got a russel hantz profile picture which is a lil susp Although I’ll admit I’m a lil sad this is a cooperative challenge bc I really don’t work well cooperatively. Especially when these people are choosing words like CAT and WASHINGTON DC have y’all never played scattergories the object is to get the most random ass answers. We can’t put Unagi that’s way too common, we gotta put UNI, which means sea urchin & is a delicacy. If someone else puts uni I would literally cry I’d be such a clown Xiomara? BITXH have y’all seen Jane the Virgin? Hell no!! We putting Serena spelled with an X. She’s a character in a short story I wrote it’s a real name look it up. Sorry to rant I just can’t believe one of these boys chose Cat. Cat. R u joking

So after 4 straight wins from my tribe they finally swapped us. Dylan, me, eric,and stephen from my og tribe long with dan from the other tribe. I like it and think we are gonna do well together.  Dan told me sunshine said I was trustworthy which I appreciated.  I dont wanna lose any challenges but if we do I feel maybe i should try and save dan? Idk i wanna be a lil more risky then i usually play in other games. Just gotta see what happens but idc to flip for my own game to do better.  

LOCK & MANCALA. LOCK & MANCALA mancala is like the most famous board game WHY did we choose that I said to go with Master Trainer: Pokémon why was that not CHOSEN I hope we lose so I can get voted out & be remembered as this seasons biggest bitch

My tummy is saying Fuck rn. I don't know how this tie breaker is gonna go

So what I am thinking it is going to be like is between Keegan and Coco but like Coco is my number 1 out here rn. Glo says she will protect me and Im trying to see what chips is feeling but I feel even when he says things Im like is this legit? Keegan wants to try working with me. I have to weigh my options but if I vote people from OG Musquodoboit tribe I upset everyone else there, if I vote Keegan, Who knows where on the totem pole I can be with the OG tribe.

It has been brought to my attention that the person I’ve been referring to as ‘even’ is actually dan. ukmmmmmmmmmmm okcay also MICHELLE let’s keep this Queen energy to the merge 😈😈

I think I’m cursed. This will be the fifth tribal council in a row I’m attending. Like how does this even happen? And of course I had to be dumb enough to step up and do the tie breaker which sent us to tribal. At first glance this could very well be the end of my game. Getting swap fucked is becoming a personality trait of mine at this point. However, Heather and I have been messaging and she said she’s going to talk to Chips and see about making a move to keep me in the game. I’m not sure who we’d vote out between Coco and Gloria but honestly I don’t care as long as I stay in the game.

Hosts, Admins and VL. I made a chart that went like 6 layers deep in before it would deadend and I’m like “oh okay it must be at the 6 layer mark”. Nope I got down to 8 layers (T1 was the first) and I feel like it’s either claimed or it’s down that path. In other news, my two biggest obstacles is the OG other tribe -_- me forgetting the other tribe’s name. The second obstacle is Kyle. Kyle thinks he runs the joint and I just play a “Sheeple” game when in reality I’m trying to make small moves to further myself in the game. Kyle and Livingston are close and Kyle, myself and Darcy are tight. Sunshine is the odd one out and a easy boot.

Update since recording, I think Chips is leaning more towards keeping Keegan oof im a swing vote then oof

Maybe I’m just getting massively played right now but I currently have an alliance chat with Heather and Chips and we’re deciding on voting Coco or Glo. And I have Coco asking me if I’d vote for Glo. Maybe I’m being bamboozled but this is actually looking a little bit promising for me staying in the game right now. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. The last time that did I got annihilated.

Did I just suggest a Chips blindside? I- don't know. I am AHHHH. I am in a bad position next round that's FOR SURE

So unfortunately we are going to tribal. At first I thought Keegan would be an easy vote BUT Chips started playing dirty. He made a chat with Heather&Keegan and tried to form "majority" with them. They were discussing whether to eliminate me or Glo. I'm not having it. Heather and I came up with the plan to blindside Chips because he probably wouldn't see it coming. I kept telling Chips I was SO worried,SO nervous because none is talking to me but it's just all an act. Hopefully we can get rid of either Chips or Keegan tonight and even flush an idol if they use it on Keegan.

So ummm, Operation Chips Gone is under way. I am HELLA nervous! Idk if this is gonna work but I feel HELLA bad.

ok Chips has turned on me saying I am weak link on tribe and wants me voted out with Keegan staying safe, Heather and CoCO are in alliance with me and tipped me off. So our vote is CHIPS. but we all three fear the idol situation. So I may not survive but calling me weak link who beat Chips ass in Scavenger hunt and came from behind to do so lol yeppers Glo beat Chips. Anyways it might be good bye GLO GLO tonight and if so I did my best. That would be end for me I guess. <3 GLO <3

I think if we were on larger tribes and the challenge was different I might have thrown it. Bit as it is tribal only presents three options: a) vote out dan, which is not a big move or anything and is not going to change much. b) save dan, and vote out someone from my og tribe, which would piss off 8 other people I had ground work with, and c) Dan pulls something out of his ass and survives, voting one of us out. So yeah, no good scenarios for my long term game at tribal. However without it I can keep my relationships while also building new bridges with Dan that could help come merge and further.

If Glo is truly the vote tonight, I’m probably going to cry. Not even going to sugar coat it. I’ll be crying. She’s just so pure and so nice and just this incredible person. I’m trying to not let it sway my judgement too much. I’m tearing up just thinking about her leaving. But if Heather and Chips are being honest with me and not conspiring against me they’ve both said they’d vote for Glo. And all I need to do right now is stay in the game. Against all odds, I might just manage to stay in the game in a disasterous 4v1 swap. The biggest downside after this is getting Evan(?) back from Oak Island. I’m praying he’s not close with Heather and Chips or I might not survive another tribal.

So we got swapped onto a tribe of 5... and lost the first immunity challenge on that tribe. Keegan is the obvious vote since he got swapped onto our tribe. I'd rather not. Spent all day lying to Glo telling her I was going to vote him. If for some reason that's not the case and Glo doesn't go, cool. I got gamed. Also, I'm in an alliance chat with Heather and Keegan and lowkey I love it. I want to see this be a final 3 but I'm not going to get ahead of myself.

Conspiracy theory: coco, glo & Keegan voted out chips, heather on the outs. No fucking clue why but it’s the only thing that makes sense. This whole game is so scary I’m like watching blindsides & murdering happening & im just chillin on the sidelines

KEEGAN SURVIVED! I’m so happy for him! That’s all I wanted. Hopefully Keegan and Dan can make merge. I wanna throw the F14 immunity to send home Sunshine but that’s just a thought. I always said my two biggest obstacles were the OG other tribe and Kyle. That’s still true but maybe there’s hope for the first obstacle!

Oh damn, I didn’t see that coming. There are two possible situations here: 1) That Keegan managed to pull two votes in with promises and shit, and 2) That there was a pre-existing alliance against Chips (and others) that I wasn’t aware of. This is worrying, not only did I just lose someone I wanted to work with but it shows I’m not that aware of what’s going on. Not good.

I watched the tribal council. Keegan wasn’t even on the chopping block which is great. Glo seems like a lovely lady and seems easy to bond and manipulate. Great for me 🐍. Our alliance including Dan, with Keegan and his allies can make a strong group and potential majority. I feel like at merge I can play my cards right and secret pull strings.

Chips was voted out which is honestly a big surprise to me but at least I’m still here! Who survived a 4v1 Swap Fucking? This guy!

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE SIX: “HOW HAVE THESE PEOPLE NOT VOTED ME OUT YET DO THEY KNOW WHO I AM??” - SHARIFA

Well. Olivia was just voted out. NED and MALIK being real sneaky bitches. Though I guess I can’t complain too much considering that OLIVIA and I did try to blindside MALIK. I knew this wasn’t a good idea. I told her it was crazy. And now I’m on the bottom and probably next to go if we lose the immunity challenge. Of all the people to be stuck with now, this is not how I wanted the game to go.

Never has my opinion of someone changed so rapidly as seeing MALIK’s reactions to OLIVIA’s goodbye messages. The only thing I want to do in this game now is make sure MALIK does not win.

CHRIS told me that him, DENNIS and NED voted for OLIVIA. Which means MALIK and ANDREAS voted for me. All five of them need to leave this game ASAP. Tinky Winky for life. Currently trying to work my hardest at getting back in the good graces of CHRIS and DENNIS at the very least. I’m hoping I can work with them and dump MALIK next tribal if we go to it.

I really did like Keegan, and I was feeling guilty about trying to go for Olivia, and then they made it easier by targeting me LMAO so now I’m just whatever with him. Maybe we can talk about it if he comes to me but he got cold towards me since the plan to get me out started, so imma just keep my distance from him. Sucks though, I didn’t think he was a cool guy. But in better news: IM SO HAPPY SHE IS GONE!! She kept coming for me for god knows what. She was supposed to be my ally but kept trying to get me sent home and tried to say no hard feelings..girl no. I also heard from Ned that Jake was curious at Olivia leaving, so I feel like he doesn’t really care for my well being like I thought so at this point I’m starting to look at all of my previous allies sideways because they could all feel this way, mainly sharifa because she confided with me about how Olivia was one of the ones talking about me and olivias been trying to get me out but she wanted her to stay?? I’m sticking to teen titans for now and imma try to feel Kurt out if I ever get back to him because no ones said how he really feels.

Okay so i have grown such an immense bond with Sharifa, that’s obvious, but now jake too. It’s tricky because it’s hard to let someone else into our relationship however Sharifa and I play it in a way where we have jake believe that both of us are closer to him than we are to each other. Ideally he believes that he is a potential final 2 with both Sharifa or myself, if it comes down to that. In reality, as much as I’m growing to love my fellow f@g Jake, Sharifa is my ride our die. Final 3 on the other hand, it’s us 3 villain winners all the way.

So... after tribal Keegan came to me and was kind of salty about the whole thing ... which makes sense considering 2 hours before tribal Olivia called me and she wanted to vote Malik and I went with it and told her how I couldn’t wait to play with her. Obviously all lies but I had to do that. She ate it up which kind of sucked but whatever. Keegan expresses he wants to be a free agent but quite frankly I’d rather he just leave. Him being on this tribe has not helped me at all, he rarely speaks to me and it seems like he isn’t interested in working with me so .... I guess bye ??

Yall how did i not get sandra'd...HOW HAVE THESE PEOPLE NOT VOTED ME OUT YET DO THEY KNOW WHO I AM?????? Basically, Nicklas and friends wanted Kage out BAD and thought they could take the shot because I kept telling them how badly I wanted to vote out Trent. What they don’t know is I still have Trent on my side KNOWING that, because I told him I was getting the target on him SOOOO I could play the idol on him. I’m securing Trents loyalty because I’m dangling a treat over his head AFLKDSA. BASICALLY I BLEW UP HIS GAME TO THE OTHER SIDE AND HE’S SO GRATEFUL TO ME….IM A HORRIBLE PERSON. Who runs the world? Villains. But let’s be clear, Armonia Villians got fucking lucky. Nicklas steered the vote onto Kage because he’s a smart mother fucker truly. I’m hoping I can outwit them through my relationship with Trent and telling him about the idol. I know everyone would be scared to have so many people know about a idol, but i think that’s because most people look at idol’s for self preservation, when I think they’re better served as tools for longevity. Look at Yul, he never had to use his idol at tribal, because he used it to secure loyalty and instil fear, and that’s how I’m going to use this one.

So Olivia got voted out and I was really fearful of that happening...mostly I feel a lot of guilt because I'm partly to blame. I was the one who blew up her game to Ned, because I wanted him to trust me the most in the game, but that was before Olivia and I got close. So Ned’s been on a warpath out for her blood because he’s vengeful as fuck, and I kept placating him because she was becoming a closer ally to me. AND I TOLD HIM THAT. But one thing I’ve learned about Ned, is if he feels you crossed him, he will hunt you down and put your head on a spike for the whole village to see. The second I saw how the swap broke down, I knew the chances of Ned and Malik flipping on Olivia were HIGH, and I think that’s exactly what happened, especially because I know Ned played a game with Andreas before. With Olivia leaving, my game takes a huge hit (AND SO DOES NED’S BUT HE DOESN'T THINK LONG TERM). But my greatest skill in these games is my ability to adapt to whatever situation. So I went on a 2.5 hour call with Sarah and bonded with her...she’s fucking crackdt and I’m actually a stan KLFJA I LOVE HER. I’ll be honest I did it for game reasons, with Olivia voted out I lost a number and I need another one, but what was surprising is I didn’t realize Sarah could be an important person for my game?? She’s crazy don’t get me wrong KLFAD, but she’s very transparent and blunt, and I can use that. I had a gut feeling to tell her about my idol and I did, and she then revealed to me she had the swap idol. We formed an f2 called “The Idol Sisters” and swore each other to secrecy...I then IMMEDIATELY went and told Jake and Kurt adfkajs. I think I’ve done a good job of integrating myself into the Sarah/Matt/Nicklas faction, and I think that’s where I need to invest my energy right now. I know Sarah and Jake are close (closer than either one will admit) so I’m trying to get something set up with Jake/Sarah/Matt/Me. Kurt and I talked about leaving him out of it, so he can pursue something with Lukas. The difference between the games I’ve won, and the games I’ve lost, is knowing all the relevant information in the game. Having the relationships I have is going to give me access to the intel I need to make the moves that are best for MY game, but it’s a *Baylor voice* sticky situation because I’m weaving so many relationships over each other. I’m trying to implement a trust tier system so I can cover my basis; Kurt is at the top and knows everything, then Jake knows everything but my relationship with Kurt, then Trent knows everything but The Cock Destroyers (I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET THESE GAYS NAME OUR ALLIANCE THAT GODDDD IM HOMOPHOBIC NOW), and then Sarah, then Nicklas, then Matt and so on and so forth. And I'm securing all these loyalties by owning up to the fact that I'm a villain to people I don’t trust, but in the same breath touting the fact that I'm fiercely loyal, as seen by my final 2's with L'Shei and Jakey in Tonga and Generations. These people should know better than to trust me and I’m going to exploit the fuck out of it because I'M A VILLAIN HELLO. But it means at the merge I’m going to have to be very methodical about how I take people out, because any wire I cut can set the bomb off. This whole premerge has been about storing away the resources I’ll need to run the merge, so when I hit the merge beach...call me the grim reaper cause my scythe is hungry for blood and mother death needs to be fed. 

It's been a while since I've sent one of these and a ton has happened. I am still working super close with the OG Ammonia Villains. We share all idol searches and clues and I think we really do trust each other. When we lost the first immunity after swap it was chaos. I was the target for a long time, until people realized how sketchy Kage was acting. According to Sharifa, I was the target due to being super close with Olivia.  They figured I would flip to her if I got the chance, and wanted to take me out before it was too late. But Kage was being sketchy and throwing out names like crazy and leaking things to everyone, that people realized he was a much more dangerous wild card.  Sharifa is convincing the other villains (not including the OG Ammonia 4) that she does not like me and wants me out soon. This is to make sure they tell her when they are voting me, so we can have a plan. Olivia going actually helped me a ton though. I no longer have a "duo" or anyone i have a connection with so i am no longer dangerous. I can play a Natalie Anderson type game now where I pretend to be with everyone, and then take them out one by one. According to Sharifa again, who is basically my informant when it comes to Matt Summers, who will barely talk with me, he no longer wants me out. And wants to go into merge villain strong. Which I'm fine with for a bit. The good thing about this merge (if it's next) is I don't think I'm going to be a huge target. There are 4 former winners going into merge and i'm working with 3 of them. Which means i'm practically surrounded by shields. I'd be very surprised if anyone comes after little ole me this early on in the merge. Hopefully I can get close to some of these heroes and be like IDK why I'm a villain i dont fit in with these people, and work them socially to trust me. It'll be tough but I think it's possible. 

So I took immunity L pretty badly! I mean I get it was a given that we might lose but its just sucky. I can handle letting myself down but letting other people down is quite upsetting because I don't like to make other people unhappy.

I did tell Keegan everything about the vote so he didnt feel too left out but also so he is less likely to vote me and sure enough today he has a plan to target Dennis/Andreas supposedly. I want gain any traction but yeah. So at least I am safe!

I feel like I’m in a great spot! I have a lot of bridges built and a lot of insight on other people’s relationships. I’ll admit that a lot of these bridges aren’t super sturdy (as a result of my shitty response time to people messaging me), but if there was a vote tonight I think I’d be very well-connected. I’m in an alliance with Matt and Sarah which I totally love! They make me happy. That being said, there isn’t an ounce of me that would want Matt to go far into this game, so that alliance is nothing more than a pleasantry. I used Olivia’s boot (so sad) as a tool to get closer to Sharifa and Kurt. I love Kurt. Sharifa is going to be a major juror, so I want her to like me. As for other people- I see Trent as an outsider. I think he has a few scattered connections here and there but I’ve been throwing his name out a lot so people think I’m open to game talk. Nicklas is either super disconnected or weirdly confident in some secret bonds I don’t know about. Jake seems a little disconnected as well, but I think he could be here for awhile if he plays his cards right. In the event of a merge, I want to play it safe and really pound the same few names over and over to make my game appear one-dimensional (those names being Trent and Malik). I’ll try to stick to the villain tribe lines until they crumble, in which case I think I’ve positioned myself in a way where I won’t be a causality of that collapse. I’m having fun!

You know that feeling of “I’m Doomed” and there’s nothing you can do to change it? Yeah that’s me right now.

Jeopardy queen has entered the chat So we been getting lots of tea thanks to my girl Sharifa... First off I found out from her that Sarah has the idol that was on this tribe.  INCH RESTING. Then at thera ned tells me about the messy vote and tells me that he’s working with andreas and likes Sarah and then it hits me... in my last game with Sarah I was told that andreas is her best friend. So bitch. We keeping an eye out for that. But I think I’m better connected now than I was before... Sarah wants to work w me sharifa and kurt and I think it’s because she knows ned was working with us. I’m also really close with Nicklas but I worry if I disclose too much info to him and it gets out then I’m fucked LOL. But Sharifa wants to work with him too so I hope we can incorporate him in a group because I’m not trying to fuck him over in this game. We love how I already made too many connections and am gonna be a messy bitch. Alsoooo I won an exile safety thing from thera because I’m THAT bitch. let’s hope I keep on popping offff

Immunity STREAK baby. Fuck the heroes they can suck a rock and have fun voting Keegan out. Ned is kind of a crackhead since it looks like he went for Olivia the previous tribal. It’s concerning because it knocks down our original tribe numbers and I just hope they don’t actually send Keegan home. That weakens us entirely going into merge because it is a huge vulnerability for Hydra (Ned, Sharifa, Jake, and myself’s final 4) seeing as people could take advantage of that and begin pagonging us. If anything and ANYONE had to go from my original tribe please god could it be Malik? He’s gotten very clingy and I don’t want to have to deal with a leech anymore.

So I’m growing tighter and tighter with Lukas which is good because I think I genuinely have him believing I’m on the outs and he is my closest ally. I do really love him and will try to keep him in as long as I can, however when its time to cut him he’s got to go. I have a feeling he’d do the exact same thing to me.

Idk man. This is such a weird round. We lost (duh) and keegan is apparently not talking to anyone. So either something is up and I am not involved, or he has an Idol (which he hopefully won't use on me) OR he has given up?? Like what the heck is happening here. I want to believe in Chris and Andreas not turning on me. Ned has given everyone too much info from their side (he also might have their OG idol) and we literally just saved Malik. So.. Idk? stay tuned to see if the 14th curse stays with me, or if I will be able to break it...

I am WERKING to make sure I survive this tribal. DENNIS says he’s open. CHRIS says he’s open. NED is down since we have a thing going on. I’m trying to get ANDREAS involved. Again to hopefully vote out MALIK. Since that seems to be the safest option for the three OG MOLLY tribe members. Please god let this work.

This vote seems very... easy? I think everyone is tossing their votes on Keegan. I think we will some wonky stuff like 4-1-1 because someone will toss their vote on someone incase of an idol... and tbh i think it will be on me because I think people have enjoyed putting my name in their mouth lately. Anyways, Keegan is scrambling and has thrown out everyone's name left and right in order to stay. I am trying to find the fine line between not ignoring him but not leading him on, because that's just cruel TBH.

ANDREAS, DENNIS and CHRIS have all said they’re open and willing to voting MALIK over me. Whether or not they’re lying to me I can’t say for sure. However I do know that I’m putting in a hell of a lot of work to make this all happen. And honestly, I’ve never worked this hard in an ORG to try to flip the votes. I never realized before that it was even possible to go from being the unanimous vote off to possibly saving myself. I’m so glad I worked to make actual bonds with these guys during the swap. If I can pull this off, this might end up being an incredible move.

I am not a hero.

ANDREAS just told me that it’s going to be MALIK voted out tonight and if this is true I’ll actually start sobbing tears of joy. Thank god NICOLE decided to not have a tribal on call.

It's gotten weirdly quiet ... am i about to be blindsided? Stay tuned

[yoongisgoawaydoormat]

My post wasn't only in response to that post about louis being the first, the main reason for it was about people in general who dont include zayn in things and act like he wasnt in 1D, so your assumptions were kinda off. If it was meant only for that person i would have wrote that whole thing on their post. Theres a reason i wasnt being specific on my own post and talked about them. Please dont assume something you dont know bc to ME, and others who agreed with me, my post was very appropriate.

hey sorry, really didn’t mean to attack you with my tags in any way! that was not my intention and i attempted to make my response as measured as possible because like i said, i totally agree with you! like i absolutely DESPISE when people dismiss zayn’s achievements in 1D and his role in making that band what it became. we’re totally on the same page there, so im sorry that i’ve upset you like this.

i don’t think i ever called your post inappropriate rather that the discourse of the moment which was about the ‘louis being first’/’dont forget zayn’ [of which i assumed your post was a part, wrong as that may be it was simply a conclusion made based off of where it fell in the context of my dash and i dont think it was a wild conclusion either because everyone and their mother on this website talks about things indirectly without addressing the exact person/blog/post as you say you would have but i digress] is in my eyes disproportionate and misplaced. as i attempted to convey in my tags i was not trying to call your sentiment about zayn (that i agree with!) either of those things, but was simply trying to add my two cents to the conversation of the moment.

again apologies if it came off as an attack on you or the people who agreed with you (of which i am one so?????)... all i want to add as a sidenote is that.......... i really don’t understand why we as fans have to take this combative tone with one another. i understand why you’re upset and i do not begrudge you those defensive feelings but i think the tone that we use with one another is really important in these situations and frankly your rather pointed tone here is a serious escalation from my fairly benign tags on your post. maybe it’s just because i’ve been getting a lot of hateful anons recently idk but i really hope that you can accept my apology and my explanation here and recognize that there was no reason to come into my inbox so hot. i’d rather have a civil dialogue than start from a place of animosity and i think we should all, myself included, be trying to do more of that

[matcha-strawbs]

it feels like i attract the most negative people ever like have you ever talked to someone and literally every response they have is so fucking negative like you can say, "i like strawberries" and for no fucking reason theyd be like, "i dont get why people love strawberries theyre the worst things on earth" like fuck mans go suck a popsicle or something instead of sucking my patience. and it would be something they started too like theyd be like "how are you?" then youre like "im doing okay, how about you?" then theyre like "mbn" okay??? how am i supposed to respond to that??? then sometimes they get upset that you didnt respond or that you didnt respond the way they wanted you too and its like... what the fuck would you say in that context??? im not doing all that great either but im not gonna choose to inflict on others because of it. some people need to remember that sometimes problems are self made like dont expect to be in an hours long conversation while youre saying draining things or not understanding that other things in life happen even in other peoples lives. someone i knew got mad at me for not liking them back but he was disrespecting me the whole time. he fell in love with me within two weeks of actually talking (like he even said he pictured marriage with me) and i am not gonna feel the same in that amount of time especially when half of that time frame was shit and i like to be friends first and he wanted to jump the gun and push me into dating him because hes the "best fucking guy ever" like jeez. i like stimulating conversations when both sides can flourish their mind instead of having an unfortunate topic and being shot down at during the whole time when im already in a position i dont really want to be in. but naw because i choose to be so fucking nice and happy and try to include everyone it backfires on me and stresses me out on top of the ones i already had like i had a fucking stroke im still recovering from i shouldnt be this bad but fuck! i feel like a magnet for shit and idk how to not do it and it sucks! 21 with a stroke in itself is already stress. going through it, and hearing everyone else freaking out about it everywhere i go really piles on. im not in the greatest living situation either added by school. i don't need all these people ripping at my good energy anymore but obviously its not going to stop. whoever reads this, im sorry lol it's currently 12:40 am and im just going through a lot ngl. ill be fine. this is just a like ten minutes of my day lol i have the other minutes to compose myself. x.x ill be okay xp