#im just. in literal shock i have the biggest dumbest smile

[astheravensighs]

i was tagged by @fawnships again!! gosh I really like doing these thank you ur my fave <33333

3 ships: oh jeez other than like. everyone x me lol. uhhh fawn x kakashi bc yall are invited 2 my wedding now !!! aaaaand hmmm soukoku bc it’s one of the few canon ships I’m not wildly jealous of (bc I shoved myself in the middle of it :U) aaaaand lets see if I can think of another canon characters one uhhhh...... hmmm this is hard lol i’ve been thinking for like ten minutes sdkjfh uhh. naruhina I think??? I always liked hinata and she deserves the man she wants and like. a million dollars and a nice gift basket. shes a good baby

last song: ok I’m literally listening to my favorite jazz composer livestream recording a new song and i’m TALKING to him and he knows my jazz choir teacher and oh my GOD i’m literally so starstruck rn.... god bless kerry marsh hes so freaking nice... he literally is mentioning me offhandedly bc i said i was a soprano and he’s like ‘oh here’s your part!’ omg omg omg omg omg my heart is full of MUSIC (I’m hoping he remembers me bc i had a solo when my choir performed for his venue and aaaaaa..... <3)

last movie: ok ok. ok. calming. calming down lol. uhhhh I watched the blues brothers last actually with the bf! that’s. shockingly related actually lol it’s very accurate to being in a jazz band OR a jazz choir (of which I’ve done both) and my jazz teacher dressed up as one for halloween during my senior year and it’s just like. the whole time I’m like. yes that’s exactly what *insert instrument* players are like. can confirm. especially the fact that the singer (me) will get the whole band into bizarre situations lol

currently reading: I’m reading a ton of stuff rn uhhhh i was reading junji ito’s gyo last night and today i’m working on reading sheet music again (i’m in a very jazzy mood) bc I can’t it read for shite lol so it’s sheet music notation drills for me todayyyyyy :I

currently consuming: enchilada soup??? I think??? idk my mother brought me this and it’s aight so i’m sippin it with some bread to dip it in and a lovely lemonade

food i’m craving rn: oh jeez. like. everything. i rly crave cheese lately and my lactose intolerant ass knows no self control so i’ll pay for it later woops

aaa i never know who to tag oh jeez but uh! literally! anyone that sees this can do it!! you dont gotta be tagged you can just. do it lol i know i love talking about myself so y’all can have the same opportunity bc i wanna know yall better too! <333

[sunshine-alibaba]

some excerpts from various Magi stuff i have in drafts:

*notes are bold

~~~

He’d either shrivel up into the fetal position and cry on the floor of the parking lot, randomly start throwing hands at the next person he saw, or he'd drive off and probably crash his car in the process (again). Any of them work.

~~~

He was soon startled out of his deep thinking when a hand tapped him on the shoulder--shocking him so bad he screamed like a dying ostrich and fell onto the floor with the grace of a chicken being chased by a feral coyote.

~~~

The taller man smiled in a concerned way, making Alibaba feel as if he was the biggest idiot on the planet because he didn’t know something as simple as how to cry (which he did quite often, so he does know how, thank you very much).

~~~

He was such a fucking dumbass. Dumb of ass. Dumber than ass. Dumbest of the ass.

~~~

Buffie cleared his throat. “Well, anyway… Uh, where did you hit my car?”

Alibaba was confused. “Here… In the parking lot…?”

Buffie blinked for the fifth time. “I meant on the car…”

~~~

"I died and was brought back to life; I am outside the god's jurisdiction."

~~~

"My bones are filled with rage and my blood with anger. You think you could kill me with fire? All you did was make my blood boil, like water boiling over a flame."

~~~

"I have experienced death face to face in the most intimate way one ever could, and yet here I am, standing right in front of you. What makes you think the likeness of you, a mere solider controlled by the hands of the monarchy, could ever hope to quell me?"

~~~

“My name is Ugo. You are currently in the Sacred Palace. You’ve just died, but you were not meant to die so soon.”

“What the hell is the Sacred Palace??”

“It’s like a control room of sorts. I am essentially the governing body of your world.”

“So… you’re God? Our Lord?”

“N-no… Not really… I am a god of sorts, but I'm not the God--”

[squints] “You control our world, right??”

“Well, yes--”

“Then you’re God, aren’t you?”

“I--” [sigh of defeat, shoulders slump] “Sure. Yeah, I’m God.”

“Great! How the fuck did I get here.”

~~~

If you think you’ve ever seen emo before, wait till you meet this bitch

~~~

she literally Jumps Off The Boat And Swims To Port just as the boat takes off

~~~

they make out and cry its great

~~~

these last ones are more of a bonus. i was taking down notes when trying to get info on the other demons from the Lesser Key of Solomon for AUs and OCs and i think some of them are very funny. the stuff in brackets [] is my commentary, otherwise its notes. ill put the name of the demon in parentheses () in front of the note. all the info i got is from wiki bc i just wanted a vague idea and nothing big, wanted to leave the interpretation up to myself.

(Asmodeus) Hates water and birds apparently [weird but go off ig]

(Gaap) Steals familiars from others [????] [*takes ur dog*]

(Gaap) Can make men stupid [LMFAOOOOO]

(Seere) Helps in finding hidden treasures or in robbery [Alibaba getting this Djinn instead of Amon: ayo? *calls over the Fog Troupe*]

(Sallos) Rides a crocodile [ohh this guy fucks, thats wicked]

(Gremory) Described as the “Munich Manual of Demon Magic” [okay it said described in the “Munich Manual of Demon Magic” but im leaving this here bc its funny]

(Gremory) Appears in the form of a beautiful woman, but still uses he/him pronouns [so valid]

(Vapula) Depicted as a griffon winged lion [isnt that just what griffon’s are?? Um ok]

(Orias) “3 riding upon a Horse Mighty and Strong” [like has three horses or theres three of him?? Whats happening here]

(Andrealphus) Appearance of a peacock [ooooohhh fancyyyy]

(Andrealphus) “but also including the ability to make men subtle in all things pertaining to Mensuration” [I THOUGHT THAT SAID MENSTRUATION SEND HELP]

[seungmin-jpeg]

Pocket Stray Kids // Felix

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

Omg it’s my time to shine 

Or rather die because overload of uwu

This lil freckled pocket person 

Became the biggest source of your joy 

Like wtf

How 

Okay so 

You were living a very boring life 

And you knew it 

Like it was just the same dull thing over and over again 

And it was lowkey making you depressed 

So one day your best friend was like enough 

And pulled you out of your bed early one Saturday morning 

And dragged you to the pocket people store thingie 

You were like “idk”

“Sometimes I can’t even take care of myself how can I handle a pocket person”

But you friend was like 

“Shut up you need this”

So you just went along with it 

Maybe you’d find a loophole and get yourself out of this 

So the two of you walked in 

Or rather 

Your friend dragged you in 

And immediately headed over to the Little spot of pocket people

You honestly tried to find someone that seemed like you would get along with

But you just weren’t feeling it 

Some of them turned their nose up at you 

But most of them just ignored you 

Automatically your low self esteem kicked in 

And you kinda started to panic because no one would want to come home with you let alone get along with you 

Your friend told you to keep looking while she went to go pick something up for her own pocket person 

And you were about to give up 

When suddenly you spotted him 

His little apartment box thing was shoved towards the very back

And blocked by a few others 

But you caught him peeking at you 

Out of one of the corners of his little home 

He looked so cute your heart soared

He wore this cute little black sweatshirt 

And had fluffy orange hair

But mostly

His frecklessssss

Hesitantly 

You moved the other boxes away and pulled his to the front 

He timidly smiled at you and you just 

UWU

He looked so nice and precious 

And he seemed to be genuinely interested in you

And well

With some persuading from your friend 

You were soon setting up a little place for felix in your home

Literally this guy

Instantly became the light of your life

Hes so funny

Cheers you up so much

Does the dumbest things but somehow never gets hurt

Loves playing games on your phone

And he looks so cute doing it

Sings a lot around the house

And you were so shocked the first time

Cause his deep speaking voice and his singing voice didnt match up what

Comes up with cute little raps for all the things you do

Pocket felix brings the mosquito imitation to a whole new level

Literally almost drove you crazy one time

Love love loooooves music

So naturally 

You got him a little piano

And he was soooooooo happy

Plays the most beautiful little songs on his piano

One time he tried to play a song on an actual grand piano

It sounds pretty good for having to jump from key to key

Hes all fun and games but im telling you

This guy has some bomb advice

Will not hesitate to stop and be serious when you need help

Like you wouldnt really see it coming 

But when he needs to he can be more serious and responsible than you sometimes

Somehow managed to make more friends then you

With both regular sized people and pocket people

Youre not even sure how he finds the time

One time he snuck to class with you

That was a wild time

Also one time a cat went after him

And you cried 

But felix just laughed it off

You both wanted a pet

But after the whole cat thing you were like yah no not going there again 

But the two of you ended up getting a little fish

Felix came with you to pick everything out

And you ended up with a pretty light blue and red beta fish

You would find felix just sitting and watching the beta fish swim around the tank for so long

And then one time you walked in and he was freaking swimming in the tank with the beta like wtf

It was a good thing you had showed up tho because he hadnt thought it through all the way

And couldn’t get out of the fish bowl

But he said he didnt regret it and would do it again eventually 

The fish wasnt that far from his size anyways 

It was fun apparently 

You guessed it would be around the same thing as a regular sized person swimming with dolphins 

You soon learned felix was hopelessly in love with autumn and winter

And sweaters 

The boy looooved sweaters 

And hot chocolate and pumpkins and soooooo many other things

Because he had been at the store for so long he hadnt done a lot of things in a long time

So the two of you went and picked apples at an orchard when fall rolled around

And went to a pumpkin patch to pick at the perfect pumpkin to carve

And when the first snow came around you built a snowman

you did all the heavy work and felix but on the face

Felix also made a little baby snowman on the big snowman's shoulder 

Movie nights became a thing ever friday night 

With yummy snacks of course

Watching soccer games was also a big thing for felix

And eventually he joined a pocket people soccer team

Best sport to watch hands down

Also ended up giving both of you more friends 

Needless to say your life become so much less boring 

And you were both so happy

Living life to the fullest 

Thank goodness your best friend made you get a pocket person

[softviking]

Ramblings and Personal stuff i carry around for a while now.

So hi. :) This will be a rather personal and potential long post so i will put this under the Read More stuff. Mainly for the very few people who happen to follow me for whatever reason and think “who the hell is that and why should i care.” You dont, i somehow feel like my Tumblr blog is some kind of safe spot...i hate the word but it is true. I dont do too much here on Tumblr, less now because most of my shows and stuff is on hiatus or so...but i feel surprisingly calm and secure when im on tumblr. It feels like i can write stuff down in my blog and get it out of my system...thats the main reason i will write this now. So for those who dont care, this pretty much is the end of a pointless looking Post but actually just the beginning. XD

Either way, have a good day, night, week, month, rest of the year all. Life is hard but you can make it, i believe in you.:)

Well here we go then for me and maybe a few people who are interested in what this weirdo has to say.

The year 2018 has been a really heavy year with a lot of things that happened. Mainly in my life we had two deaths, my uncle and my grandma. My uncles death was more of a shock, grandma dying was more a relief for all. My parents who were day and night there for her in the last difficult few months, relief for her because she is in no pain anymore...it was sad and everybody cried but we knew it was for the best. But before that happened, two good things happened in our life two. First my niece was born...and i cant even find the words to say how much i love this girl and how much laughter and life she brought in our already chaotic family. I never thought i would adore a baby that much. More than that it helped me realise that I AM NOT WORTHLESS. Its probably my biggest flaw, the mindset of thinking that im just a waste of space, that im not good enough no matter how often someone tells me that opposite. I hate that i cant shake this god damn mindset off, that it keeps coming back with every tiny mistake or every little thing i dont do perfect. Seeing how my brother and sister in law, how my family trust me with this tiny little being...helps me a lot. Seeing how this baby is not afraid of me, how she trusts me and how i can make her smile...thats something i never thought could happen to me.

Anyway...second good thing was that my brother got married. Dont know if i wrote this down here but when he first told us about this girl from Albania, we were a bit worried. He is a bit of a simple mind who often does things just out of spite. He didnt made it too easy to trust this whole thing, getting married after just 11 months of knowing, having spent most of their time together online...it causes us a few gray hair. But after having met her a few times and her now staying here for a few months, the girl is family. She is smart, friendly, helps a lot and is in general a really nice person. We get along well. So we have two new family members who will celebrate their first christmas in our family...a good thing.

Here is the thing...There was a lot going on here and there, small and bigger things that made me look at my life. And i realized that while im happy...i want more. Specificly i realized that i want to “socialise” more. I wanna met people, build friendships...find someone to love. For the longest time i was looking for excuses...but i realized those excuses were just because im afraid. Afraid of what could happen...which i realize now isnt as dark as i imagine. The worst that can happen is that people reject me...woho, big deal. Im sure there are a lot of people on this planet who dont like me...its not the end of the world. So i wanna put myself out there more and maybe here...interact more with the Shippers and stuff around here. Its something i didnt do for two reasons mainly...

One: I think im boring and have nothing to say, that all i might have to say is dumb and a waste of time and just bothers people. Getting rid of this mindset is a hard thing, but i will work on it. Number Two...sounds weird but...im a guy. I know Tumblr isnt some man hating place, no matter how often it might look like it. Thats not the case, i know the place has its bad apples but its not as bad as people want to make it out. It has less to do with the people around here and more...yeah im a smartass here, more to do with society. I sometimes feel like as a guy i shouldnt be part of a shipping community, i shouldnt participate in fandoms with mostly women or transgender people or so. Thats completely on me of course...but i dont really know why. Its probably more annoying than anything because its literally the dumbest reason for not doing something that exists. I shouldnt feel like i have no right to talk to other shippers, to squeel when my ships have cute scenes, to cry when the angst is too much or a fanfiction is emotionally so strong that i have tears in my eyes or laugh out loud. Its nothing wrong with being a guy and shipping stuff or with being emotional...hell i just got tears in my eyes when i wrote the part up there about my niece. Its a weird, eye rolling, thinking im probably the dumbest person in the world reason...i know that. And i will get rid of this mindset in my head...if i have to fight and scratch, bark and bite to be a tall guy who cries and ships cute couples, who is soft as a teddy bear and easily to get to laugh...then i will do that. I wanna ship stuff, i wanna be a fanboy, i wanna squeel about two fictional characters being all cute with each other...and i want to do that with others no matter the gender. So now that i have put this out...the last point and the one im currently most scared about. Remember the whole “I wanna put myself out there more” thing? Yeah that is scary. Since i want to become a writer, make money with writing, get many people to enjoy my books etc...i decided to start with making a facebook account. And not just some secret thing or so, no i wanna do it like most people do. Pictures, talking, sharing who i am, what i like and so on. Thats really scary even to think about it, because of the incredible pressure i feel while thinking im just not good enough. But i will do it, i will put myself out there...hoping i can be cheeky and funny...because thats what i am...well at least more so while writing in forums etc than in person. I hope that i can get the attention of people, not only to socialise and make friends...also to sell my book(s)...yeah money rules the world. I want to make money that is true, but i also want to matter you know? I want to sit there and be one day proud because i know that people really enjoyed reading my storys, the adventures i write, the dangers the characters i created experienced, i want people to laugh about stuff those characters say and do, hate the villians...or love them, i want to know that i reached people with my own hands...that i was good enough. This part didnt go into the direction i hoped, but anyway. To close this off there is one other thing. Dont know if it sounds creepy or so...but i already put it all out there, whoever is around now can not be scared away...hell i probably just write this for myself so it doesnt really matter. Anyway...while getting a good look at the stuff Facebook has going...i found also something...the Girl i had a crush on for all my school years. And as i realize now, the girl i still have a huge crush on. I never dared to talk to girls, not in school or 7 years ago when my weight was double what it is now and i had no idea what to do with life. Yeah i throw this out now too...i never had a girlfriend. Im way...way past 18 years and never even held hands with a girl in a romantic way. Never really thought anybody would care for me that way...but i digress i think. Anyway, the girl is still as beautiful as i remember and it gives me a surprising confidence that she doesnt seem to be married and all that. So maybe there is also Romance in my way...but i dont want to hope too much. For all i know she doesnt even remember me, i didnt particular made a impression on anybody. I mostly watched her from far away in school...yeah i know it sounds creepy as hell but i was really shy and unsure. A part of me thinks that this is my second chance, that this might be how it was supposed to go...but thats more coming from the side that watches too much romance movies and read too many of you peoples great fanfiction in which the same characters fall in love and meet in thousands of different ways. Either way, i just want to know for now if there could be chance or just if she is happy...maybe it turns out it was just a childhood crush i never gave the time to overcome...maybe its more...i dont know. But i know that im willing to find out...something a year ago i wouldnt had dared to even think. So that pretty much sums up the past year and my mindset, what goes on in my little head. If anybody reads this...im sorry for wasting your time or thank you for listening, it helped me get this stuff off my chest. Which helps me focus and move forward. Anyway, thank you very much and like i said before...you got this, you will get through rough times and come out strong...i believe in you.