#im just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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okay but adaine learning that aelwyn is an expert on curses and then immediately turning around and deciding her final paper will be about curses???? the sisters are everything to me
#d20#dimension 20#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#as a sibling who also did a research project on a thing my sister loved#trying to bond with your sister when you dont have that much in common#im just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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i cant believe im actually back to writing something
#envelop rambles#idk how to write how do u guys write im an artist#maybe i just need to story board my way through this.... always did better with visual stuff idk#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ok back to listening to permaculture by modest by default as per usual
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Me planning a project: this will be fun, I just need to start now :D
Brain: no
Me, utterly confused: fym "no"??????
Brain: no.
#im a making a necklace out of stars and it's really easy to make stars and its really easy to make the necklace#but for some reason the work just isnt working#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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*screams*
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you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance
and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now
#liz blogs#vocaloid#this post is about project se\\kai. what a garbage ass replacement of project diva oh my god#i dont care about any of these random ass teenagers why does my vocaloid game have all these other guys in it#why are there 238928934 currencies why does it take so long to unlock new songs its just all too much and so convoluted#i wanted a rhythm game not a rhythm game that takes a backseat to visual novel and gacha game and watch 3298 ads#GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE#i thought rhythm game on a touchscreen was a bad enough idea but i wanted to be FAIR because project diva doesnt get updated anymore#even though that was THE vocaloid game for a fucking decade and they replaced it with hot flaming dogshit oh my god#its just every other fucking mobile game im gonna start biting people#im in my Hater Year but i'm actually fucking right about everything aaaAAAAAAAAA#and look. i didn't play it for too long because it was just too fucking annoying and overwhelming. but it seems like you can only#play x amount of songs in a day before you run out of energy. which you need to Buy#you get more when you level up! it recharges! but it seems that it takes longer and longer to do that#thts the only Complaint i have that i cant actually verify because i would need to play longer and i am Not doing that#but if im right. thats the biggest load of shit of all#just go back to making project diva games. let me pay for the game so i can play interrupted without all this other BS in my face#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#the like... two little visual novel bits i saw that Just had vocaloids in them were cute. i will be real with u. but who are these like#six teams of random ass teenagers i dont know and dont care about. why did u put non vocaloids in da vocaloid game. are you nuts#maybe i just need to figure out how to mod project diva cuz at this point lord knows theyre not doing anything else with it#if you wanted to have other characters sega do u know how many Other vocaloids there are. you didnt have to invent random boring teenagers#pullin a fuckin transformers and backseating your Title Characters to a bunch of random ass humans im not here for#except you charlie watson from bumblebee i love you mwah
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i really want to finish all my unfinished art before i turn 15 but im so burnt out rn 😭 </3
#i have two days#including this one#i wanna draw#but also i fucking hate drawing#but i love drawing but i HAT EIT AND ITS THE WORST AAAAAUUGGGHHHHHHHHH#mostly because i just wanna feel like less of a failure in some way#art for me is about 50% passion and 50% a crippling desire to prove that im not useless and an idiot#so because of the lack of stability there i always end up with a dozen unfinished art projects#when i cant live up to my own expectations i give up#i think this is me still clinging to my childhood in a way#i always wanted to be a child prodigy but i never had talent or skill in anything#so now that im rapidly getting further and further from childhood i feel a desperate need to prove that im not worthless#its like#my 15th birthday feels to me like how jonathan larson did about his 30th. is that fucked up to say ..#aaaaaaaaaaa :’) i want to finish all the art i promised but i genuinely just. cant#chase said something alright#sigh. i have ideas#im plagued with visions but i have none of the time#i want to draw patrick and pete#i want to draw the cast of community all smiling and stuff. because i love and adore all of them#id like to finish my vampire dallon art but im So Bad at shading without reference#i so desperately want to just share my art and feel okay but I CANT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#IVE MADE SO MANY EMPTY PROMISES ABOUT FINISHING ART AND SHARING ART AND AND AND FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#someone tell me im not useless#<- dont do that im responsible for my own happiness#anyway UM. sorry if you opened this#you know what. in spite of everything i didnt do at least um. uhhhhhhhh#i won a 3ft tall shadow the hedgehog plushie at a carnival.
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messing around a bit
#delete later#man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird#trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg#shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me#should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔#still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess#just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made.#im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough.#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony#well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole#even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw#actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself#but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate#hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week#man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay#hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini#masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh#ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini#aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr#me when i have to do my job at work#i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower#sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit
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why cam't i draw himb,,,
#I HAVE DRAWN DOUXIE 28327983 TIMES#WHY IS HE THE HARDEST PART OF THIS DRAWING#i think im just exhausted...#tried drawing last night and it turned out shit#so i figured i'd try again in the morning#cause usually i just need to sleep#but that hasn't seemed to have helped...#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#gaylight post#hlep
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so i've been trying since january to unionize my workplace. recently got approx. 60% of all employees approval (they signed and payed the little fee). sent this to the union federation and today they sent an official court summons to my boss.... who is on vacation and wont see it before the 20th...
im SO stressed lmao
#i kinda feel bad for my boss cause i sincerely think she is trying her best#but like. my coworkers come first#also im afraid one of my colleagues is wrongfully going to get all the shit for it#but also i cant say im the one behind it all because the union guys said no employer can require you to say if you signed or not#to be in the union#idk im just so fucking stressed#i know RATIONALLY this is the right thing to do#but i cant help and feel so bad#i am ALSO on vacation rn. just for a week but still. i have personal shit to deal with so i cannot go to work to#you know. check on my colleagues and shit#uuuuuuuuuuurgh this is killing me#personal#personal rant#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO SCARED
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MY FINAL GRADES ARE IN I PASSED THE SEMESTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#lunaerosa ⋙ ✧ 【 out of character. 】#THIS IS BIG FOR ME BC I FLUNKED HARDCORE THE FIRST TIME#BC OF MY DEPRESSION AND JUST LIFE IN GENERAL#BUT !!!! I DID IT !!!!!!!#im not nearly done yet with school in general but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ETC ETC
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i hope hoshino aqua onk EXPLODES!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I JUST FINISHED THE MANGA IN ONE SITTING#THIS IS /POSIVIVE BTW#I WANT TO PUT HIM UNDER A MICROSCOPE#AND EXAMINE HIM#I WANT TO CUT OPEN HIS HEAD AND EXAMINE HIS BRAIN ACTIVITY#IM BITING HIM#SAUHGDJUGAYHJGFUYO#GSAUYDHFGAUYOEHJ#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i need the next update#onk
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i love this
ive always wondered what ppl would think about him always wearing a heavy coat & wearing long sleeves/pants all the time
now ik they just think hes even weirder than they thought. "i like it hot" ik that cant b the only reason((or its just a flat out lie)) but oh my god no1 has ever uttered those words ever
#hes so weird oh waht a weirdo a silly freak#it makes sense ik Y hes wearing the coat its kinda hard 2 ignore it#but god the fact he said this is making me want 2 throw a ball @ him like u did not just say this w/a straight face#this whole volume has been like a roller coaster 4 me..& him ig#his parents r “back 2gether” & more also he totally just stole diamonds n shit like idk how 2 feel#goddamn let a daughter find her dads dead body like sir u cant no pls oh god y r the sstories so short sometimes#im gonna go crazy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Me lately, including now: !!!1AAAAAAA💝💘😍💜💜🥰💗‼️‼️🧑🏻❤️💋👩🏻🎉🎉🎉💖💖💖💖💜💜😍😆😆🎉✨AAAAAAKIJBSGDHF💜XGDTDGRUJFUDNHJUFHUSZDU‼️🥰❤️XHRGBFSDHFUJYRGTD5E4YW5GDN4BUSIY5ETGCESUK ✨🎉🎉💘💘💝💗‼️‼️‼️❗💖💓💓💘EEEEEEAAAAADkjzifjghu💥❤️💗💗🥰🥰🥰😆😍😍😍😍😳😳💜💜😆😆😆😆🧑🏻❤️💋👩🏻💝AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA😆🔥AAAAAAAAA~ !!!!!!!!!!
#I swear 90% of the time Im cool calm collected the works#BUT THE OTHER 10%-#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I'm just so happyyyyyyyyyyyy
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Lmao have a TMI because I'm on cloud fuckin nine rn
Went on a perfect date with my now girlfriend today, she kicked my ass at Mario Kart, I kicked her ass at Guitar Hero, we both struggled in pain at Dragon's Lair.
She took me home and we cuddled and watched the shittiest movie I've ever witnessed (Land Shark, if you're a fan of truly fucking terrible movies it's on Amazon Prime) and then...
HOOOOGGHHHHHH
Maybe it's just because I haven't had sex in so long but I swear to fucking GOD I've never been stretched like that before. I'm still sat here drooling thinking about it...
#gorie is talking too much again#tmi honestly i just wanted to be giddy somewhere#AAAAAA TODAY AND YESTERDAY WERE SO PERFECT#Im just even more excited for kink night now because her AND her boyfriend?#i might straight up cease to be#shes so cute and funny and cuddly i just#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ach shut the fuck up Gorie youre oversharing again
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^ he needs a hit of something stimulating
#crow talks#I NEED TO PLAY D4 BUT MY FUCKING GOD MY PHONE IS A BITCH THAT HATES MY SILLY SWAG#THIS STARTED HAPENING WHEN I GOT PROSEKAI THE FUCK#it hates prosekai.............#WAUGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHG#I JUST WANT TO PLAY D4....... AND MY SILLY BAND GUYS#WUAHGHGHRUGNHUIVNDUINDE#I NEED TO HEAR TAPPY NOTES IT GOESIN TAPPY TAP TAP#I CANT WORK ON NOA'S BDAY DRAWING W NOTHING THAT STIMULATED MEDIKVJNDFGKJD#im gonna push up until the need is gone#OH WAIT NVMICANT LISTEN TO MUSIC WHILE PUSHING UP BC MY PHONE IS A CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dskjfdfikdjfoidjsfidjsik#IM PLAYING IT ON THE FUCKING TV AND SHIT I CANT--
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I don’t know how many more fucking times a day I can handle a “this is your wallet” interaction before I snap.
#he calls…the wrong number. but also he’s been trying to get ahold of us. ok what do eps he want? he left voicemails.#ok well what do you want. we can ignore those voicemails. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT???#he was askin for a call back. WHAT! DO! YOU! WANT!???#no no he’s just saying we can ignore those messages bc he was asking to talk with us#MOTHER FUCKER YOURE TALKING TO US RIGHT THE FUCK NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU GODDAMN WNT SO HELP ME GOD#and then he has the audacity to say *I’M* misunderstanding him when this stupid son of a bitch will not fucking tell me what his fucking#question for our office is FUCK!!! IM GOING TO VOMIT! HES ONLY 62! HE SHOULDNT BE ACTING 85!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#apple talks#to the tune of spam
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