#im just trying to be kind to myself about it all. holding back before i severe overshare in these tags
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backseatsoldier · 18 hours ago
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Home for the Holiday
Pairing: Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x Reader/You CW: Mispronunciation of Gaelic words; CUTE MUH-FEKKIN' FLUFF! Author's Note: Happy holidays to ME- and all of you! Thank you for reading and engaging. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season <3
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For Christmas I decided to send myself "home". As in Scotland, the place I'd never been but that I was always drawn to. It always felt like home, so why not treat myself for the holidays, you know?
Somehow, my gift to myself led me to Fiona - the owner of the bed and breakfast I'm staying at - inviting me to her White Elephant party. I suppose the theme of the party helps. I don't know anybody attending so I just need to get a silly gift to (hopefully) make people laugh. Everything was fine and going smoothly... until now.
"Shit! I'm so sorry!"
I'm now on my knees on a snow-covered sidewalk and trying to scoop up my White Elephant gift after running directly into...
"Alright, lass?"
Fuck me... he's a local.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm ok," I assure him and I reach for the goofy gift.
"Is this... a..."
Before he can finish his question, I'm desperately shoving the joke gift - a Highland Cow tail butt plug with a pretty Christmas bow attached to the end - back in the bag. Why couldn't it have been in a discreet box?!
"It's for a White Elephant party," I say quickly once it's back in the bag.
Finally, I look up.
Oh, he's... painfully pretty. That just makes this worse.
"What about this guy?" he asks with a lopsided smile as he holds out the Highland cow plushie I bought myself.
"He's... for me," I say quietly and gently take the plushie back, tucking him into the top of the bag.
"Got a theme going there, lass," he chuckles.
"Figured... it might make my life a bit easier to stick to some kind of theme, y'know?" I offer softly and stand, hugging the bag to my chest.
"You sure you're alright? Didn't hurt yourself or the coo when you fell? And I'm sorry too. I wasn't paying attention."
I shake my head quickly.
"No, no I'm ok. So is the, uh, cow," I tell reassure him with a small smile and brush some snow off the cow's fuzzy head. "I should, um, get going. I'm sorry, again. And... nollag kridel."
"Nollaig Chridheil, lass," he chuckles knowingly.
"Oh my god," I whisper as my head falls and my eyes go wide. I didn't even pronounce it correctly! Without another word, I turn quickly and fast-walk away.
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"You made it!" Fiona exclaims and throws her arms around my shoulders. "Get in here," she says as she pulls me into her house. It's literally just a private entrance to the bed and breakfast.
Within a few moments I'm in the building, my (wrapped) gift is under Fiona's tree, and a cute elf hat has been placed on my head. Fiona gently sets me on the couch next to- oh, no. Nonononono-
"Oh, so you're the surprise guest Fi was raving about," Painfully Pretty laughs loudly as I beg whatever higher power for a black hole to swallow me up.
"Yeah," I give an awkward laugh, "that's me. I guess."
"You two know each other?" Fiona says as she hands me a hot chocolate.
"We bumped into each other yesterday in town. And the Highland coo," he chuckles.
I should have wrapped the cow. I should have wrapped the cow. I should have-
"Oh, that adorable plushie you walked in with? I was wondering where you got 'im. Cute little Christmas sweater and all," Fiona laughs - very similarly to Painfully Pretty.
Conversation shifts off of me and to other guests who are still arriving by the minute. Soon enough, Fiona's living room is packed full of people and one dog. His name is Riley and we made fast friends. I, admittedly, have been hiding in the corner hanging out with him most of the party so far.
"Time for gifts! Johnny, help me get these piled in the center of the room," Fiona demands of Painfully Pretty. Apparently his name is Johnny.
Once all of the gifts are piled where Fiona wants them, we all migrate to the surrounding furniture. She gives us the rundown for how the gift exhcange works and we all begin drawing numbers from a Santa hat. When it's my turn, I grab a random gift and begin opening it.
It's a... Highland cow in a holiday dress and crown.
"Aw! Now your other guy's got a friend," Fiona announces excitedly.
I smile softly at the plushie and smooth out her dress.
"Yeah, I guess he does," I agree and smile at her.
"You should name them," Johnny suggests with a soft look in his eyes.
"I think I will," I nod and smile at him.
When the exchanges comes to an end, Johnny lingers in the living room with me.
"I was hoping you'd be the one to choose her," he says quietly. "Was worried she would be chosen and unappreciated until Fiona dragged you in here."
"You... brought her?" I ask, looking up from the plushie in question.
Johnny nods with a gentle smile.
"Glad the lad won't be lonely this Christmas. It was nice to meet you, officially," he says softly, lopsided smile lighting up his face.
"It was nice to meet you too, Johnny. Thank you for Christy." With a small smile, I hold up the plushie and tap it's nose to the end of his.
"Nollaig Chridheil."
"Yeah, I'm not trying to say that again," I insist with a giggle.
He laughs loudly.
"Why not? It was so cute when you said it last time."
I can feel my face warm at his words and his smirk.
This year's Christmas gift to me might turn out better than I originally expected.
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Scottish Gaelic Translations (per Google Translate, apologies if incorrect!)
Nollaig Chridheil - Merry Christmas
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CoD Christmas (Meet) Cuties Masterlist
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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fatehbaz · 8 months ago
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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love-songs-for-emma · 4 months ago
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my teeth hurt but i cant afford to go to the dentist. im enrolled in school this semester but i cant afford my tuition. im just not making money fast enough & neither is my mom. only feeling desperate now that my teeth are Hurting
0 note embarrassing post vibe but. if anyone can help At All,, my venmo is @ mia-semolina . thank u for even reading this. i hope u all are having a wonderful night & life. much love always ♡
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tgcg · 7 months ago
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an open fly walking
i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now
TG: hey karkat
CG: YEAH?
===
TG: you ever noticed you like
TG: walk weird
CG: WOW, OKAY.
CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?
TG: pff
===
TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity
TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but
TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man
CG: I DO???
TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault
TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale
TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity
TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it
CG: SERIOUSLY?
===
TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but
TG: yeah
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
TG: im not fucking with you striders honor
TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything
CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.
CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.
TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me
CG: ON IT.
===
===
TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude
CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.
TG: dont your feet ache
===
CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.
TG: damn i didnt think that through
TG: my shades
CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.
TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with
TG: ugh
===
TG: guess its karma
CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor
TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing
TG: just conjecture i mean
CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.
TG: yeah probably
CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.
===
TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets
TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot
CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.
CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.
CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".
TG: well look at it this way
TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass
TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol
CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.
===
TG: also screw this can i use your shirt
TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up
TG: i cant see dick
CG: UH
CG: SURE, I GUESS.
TG: cool
===
TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right
TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night
CG: YEAH.
CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.
CG: BUT
CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.
TG: see yeah i sound it off and
===
TG: wait really?
CG: YEAH
CG: I DON'T KNOW
CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.
===
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.
CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.
TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing
CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.
TG: you think thatd be heroic or just
CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.
CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?
TG: hah
===
TG: but uh
TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth
CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.
CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.
TG: oh
CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.
===
TG: heh
TG: well get this
TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free
TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues
TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time
TG: take that and some of this
TG: im packin punches
CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!
CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.
CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.
TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here
===
CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?
TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given
TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool
CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.
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luvyeni · 15 days ago
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🍵… ( reaction ) no you eat ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 라이즈 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ riize’s reaction to you giving yourself a little bit of food ヾ
OT7!라이즈・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ fluff ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・none ‎ wc ・0.6k+ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. hi, how would riize members react to the trend where their partner makes dinner but gives them the bigger portion and gives themselves only a small one with the excuse that "that's all we had left"?
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 this was such a cute request thank you 🖤!!
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﹙ 𐙚 : shotaro ﹚ .ᐟ
will take it because he knows you worked hard on it, but quietly put more food on your plate when you are not looking. when you finally catch him doing what it and call him out on it , he’s shaking his head trying to gaslight you. “what do you mean you finished all of the veggies , baby it’s still some on your plate , are you trying to opt out of finishing your veggies.” he thinks his slick , trying to feed you the vegetables. “here make sure you eat all of them , it’s good for you.” laughing when you side eyes him. “eat them.” watching you take a bite. “now you eat some taro.”
“what do you mean? i have eaten, come on , you have more veggies , eat them so you can be stronger.”
﹙ 𐙚 : eunseok ﹚ .ᐟ
he’s offended that you would even give him more than you. “if it was not enough then you should’ve just ate it , i could have eaten something else.” you try and fight back but he’s not having it. “i wanted you to try it , i worked so hard.” he takes a bite before sliding it over to you. “there i tried it , now you eat finish it.” he said. “what will you eat?” he scoffs. “I’m a grown man, I can order food if I get hungry , you just eat this.” if there’s a little in his head it all goes to you.
“eat this, do you want anything else? i’ll order more food.”
﹙ 𐙚 : sungchan ﹚ .ᐟ
switches the plates no questions asked. “eat.” he says. “that’s not enough for you.” is about to fight you , especially when you start trying to put more food from your plate on his. “we are not poor, i can order food , just eat that before it gets cold and then you won’t be able to eat it.” will even give you his plate just to make sure you get enough food. “just eat dont worry about me.” will literally force feed you if you try and fight back. “eat it , eat it now.” will hold the fork. “I don’t care if this all that there is.”
“what kind of man would I be to let you eat so little.”
﹙ 𐙚 : wonbin ﹚ .ᐟ
will literally refuse to eat it. “wonbin you need to eat.” his stubborn add will literally fold his arms like a child throwing a tantrum. “im not eating it.” he says pushing the plate over to you. “i wont eat.” even if you tell him there’s more and that it was just a joke , he still doesn’t believe it. “then here , you eat this and that too , i’ll go make it my own plate.” he says. “you already have your food , it will get cold if you get up just to make mines.” he’ll make sure you start eating before he even thinks about moving.
“I would never give you little just to fill myself up, I’m not selfish.”
﹙ 𐙚 : seunghan ﹚ .ᐟ
doesn’t even question it, just hands you the bigger plate and takes the smaller one. “then you get the bigger one , I won’t let you eat the smaller one.” he says picking up the food with your fork to feed you. “here, open.” he feeds you the food. “good?” he will wait until you’re finished to make him a bowl of ramen , he may say he’s not hungry and then give you his just in case you’re still hungry. even if you tell him it’s a joke and there’s food left , he still doesn’t move , watching you finish yours first.
“that’s good , now finish your food, I want you to eat it all.”
﹙ 𐙚 : sohee ﹚ .ᐟ
he would rather starve than have you eat such little food. “absolutely not.” he switching the plates immediately. “sohee you need to eat a lot you have practice tomorrow.” he’s shaking his head. “are you calling me weak? are you saying I can’t keep up with the members?” he is serious. “no im saying you need to be stronger.” so you are calling him weak. “well if you dont eat this then you will be sleepy at work and then your boss will be mad and then what? I’ll have to deal with your attitude.”
now you’re both confused and hungry so you just tell him it’s a joke.
﹙ 𐙚 : anton ﹚ .ᐟ
confused, very very very confused… “did you only make a little?” he just nods when you tell him you thought it would be enough. waits for you to stop talking before he quietly gives you the food. “take it baby.” he says softly before getting up. “wait where are you going?” he’s fine with just eating ramen or something if it means you get a nice meal. “i already ate too much today anyway , a bowl of ramen will be just fine, you just eat that okay? make sure you finish it all okay?”
he’s so cute im crying ….
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©️LUVYENI
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n0vazsq · 5 days ago
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Yours | LN4 x Reader
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pairing . . . lando norris x best!friend!reader
summary . . . You and Lando were best friends, everyone knew that. But Lando couldn't help but feel different when you entered the Mclaren hospitality with your new boyfriend
request . . . yes!! based on this request!
word count . . . 1.3k+
warnings . . . angst, jealousy, possesive-ish lando if you squint
faceclaim . . . N/A
alexavia yaps . . . neck injury still there dni </3 but i'm like limiting myself to writing 3-5 fics a day so pls no more requests guys i beg until i write that joao felix fic (im joking you can request all you want)!! also i dont like this idk why its just not fic-ing </3 also ily if you notice the refrences
taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)
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. . . Lando Norris never liked sharing you.
Not in kindergarten when you shared your animal crackers with Leo Thompson, not in middle school when you declared the boy from biology class 'kind of cute,' and certainly not in high school when you got your first boyfriend.
He tolerated it back then because, despite everything, you always came back to him. Always.
But now? Oh, now, it was Kygo. Kygo. The world renowned DJ with the perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect….everything.
Lando tried to brush it off at first, thinking it was just a fling.
"He's too busy," Lando told himself. "He won't stick around. She'll get bored of the jet setting life."
But months passed, and Kygo stuck around. Long enough for Miami to roll around, and suddenly Lando was living through his worst nightmare: seeing you two together, up close and personal.
The Miami Grand Prix weekend was a whirlwind of heat, noise, and flashing cameras, but nothing felt louder than Lando’s thoughts as he watched you walk into the paddock, hand in hand with him.
Kygo.
It wasn’t like Lando hadn’t been prepared for this. He’d heard from you weeks ago, your excited voice on the phone telling him about you two coming to the Grand Prix to watch him. He played it off then, made some snarky remark about how you could 'do better than a guy with a laptop' but now?
Seeing it? Watching you laugh, looking so effortless beside Kygo? It was unbearable.
He didn’t even know why.
Well, that was a lie. He knew.
"Quit staring," Oscar teased under his breath as they walked back toward the Mclaren garage.
"I’m not staring," Lando grumbled, eyes fixed on the ground.
Oscar shot him a look. "You’re boring holes into the guy’s head. Careful, mate, you’ll scare him."
Lando didn’t laugh. He couldn’t find the humor when Kygo had his arm slung casually around your shoulders. You weren’t his, Lando knew that, but there was something about the way Kygo looked at you. So relaxed, so….confident. Like he had every right to hold you that close.
It made Lando’s teeth grind.
The day dragged. Qualifying went well enough, but Lando’s mood was like a storm cloud following him around. He couldn’t focus, not when you kept popping in and out of the garage with Kygo in hand, the two of you looking like the most annoyingly attractive couple to ever exist.
"Your head’s not in the game," Lando’s engineer muttered at one point, earning a sharp glare in response.
Because how could it be?
When the sun dipped below the horizon and the city came alive with its neon glow, Lando found himself at the post qualifying party, drink in hand, leaning against the bar with a scowl he wasn’t trying to hide.
Across the room, you were dancing.
And Kygo, of course, was there, laughing, spinning you around like some movie cliche. You looked happy, your face lit up with a smile that Lando had seen a thousand times before, but somehow tonight it was like he was seeing it for the first time.
He didn’t even realize he was staring until someone bumped his shoulder.
"You’re sulking," Oscar said, appearing beside him.
"I’m not-"
"You are. And it’s pathetic." Oscar gestured toward the dance floor. "If you’re that jealous, do something about it."
Lando’s head whipped around. "I’m not jealous."
He snorted. "Sure."
You stepped off the dance floor for a breather, heading toward the balcony to cool off. The Miami night was warm and sticky, the party’s music muffled now that you were outside. You leaned against the railing, letting out a soft sigh as you gazed at the skyline.
"You’re having fun."
The voice startled you. You turned to find Lando stepping onto the balcony, hands shoved into his pockets. His expression was unreadable, but there was something….off about him tonight.
"Yeah, I am," you replied, smiling softly. "It’s a great weekend."
Lando nodded slowly, his gaze drifting out over the city. "You’ve spent most of it with him."
You blinked, surprised by the edge in his tone. "With Kygo? Well….yeah. He’s been great."
"Right." Lando’s jaw tightened. "He seems great."
There it was. That tone again.
"Lando," you said, frowning. "What’s going on with you?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit." You stepped closer, crossing your arms. "You’ve been acting weird all day. You barely said a word in the garage, and now you’re out here sulking. Just spit it out."
Lando’s eyes flicked to yours, sharp and searching, and for a moment you thought he might finally just say whatever was on his mind. But instead, he looked away again, shaking his head.
"It’s nothing."
You huffed, annoyed now. "If it’s nothing, then why are you being like this? It’s like you’ve got some problem with me and Kygo-"
"I do."
The words cut through the air like a whip, sharp and sudden. You froze, staring at him. "What?"
Lando exhaled, his hands running through his hair as if trying to hold himself together. "I do," he repeated, quieter this time. "I hate it. Seeing you with him. Watching you laugh and dance and, god, it’s driving me insane."
You stared at him, heart hammering in your chest. "Why?"
Lando looked at you then, really looked at you, and the intensity in his gaze made your breath catch.
"You are jealous," you whispered.
He let out a shaky breath, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, well….can you blame me?"
The two of you stood there, the night silent around you, his words hanging heavy in the air. For the first time, you looked at him, really looked at him, and saw something you hadn’t seen before.
And now, you couldn’t unsee it.
"Lando…"
"I can’t-" He cut himself off, shaking his head. "I can’t stand the idea of someone else being your favorite person. I’ve known you my whole life, and I’ve always been that guy. I don’t know how to- how to share you. I don’t want to."
Your heart twisted painfully at his words. "Lando, you don’t have to share me."
He let out a soft, humorless laugh. "Don’t I? You’re his now. Or at least… that’s what it feels like."
"I’m not his," you said firmly, taking a step closer. "I’ve never been anyone’s but my own. But you… you’re my favorite person too, you idiot."
Lando’s gaze snapped to yours, his expression vulnerable in a way you’d never seen before. "Then why does it feel like I’m losing you?"
"You’re not." Your voice was barely a whisper now, the space between you closing until you could feel the heat radiating off him. "You’re not losing me."
Lando’s eyes flicked to your lips, and suddenly, it was like the last thread of restraint snapped.
He leaned in, his hand coming up to cup your face as his lips met yours, soft at first, testing, until you kissed him back with just as much urgency. It was all the words left unspoken, all the tension, all the jealousy, pouring into one moment.
When you both pulled back, he met your eyes, full of guilt and pity. And who was it for? Fucking Kygo. Always him.
Then, when you said, "I'm sorry, Lando. I can't. It's not right.", he knew that he'll never be yours.
And as he watched you run off into the party, it all came crashing down on him. He will never be yours again.
He was just somebody you called when you're alone, somebody you used, but never owned. He knew he's not the one you really love.
And maybe that's why he's never given up.
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retroaria · 4 months ago
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⊹₊⋆.˚ Confessions ⋆.˚₊ ⊹
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summary: the bllk boys and their romantic confessions, some are love, some are not! all of them are pretty cute though, not gonna lie…
BLUE LOCK M.LIST | requests are open! | enjoy 💋
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Isagi Yoichi ‹𝟹
isagi makes it a point to confess to you in person. he spends a few days thinking (and overthinking) exactly what words to use. he wants to make sure he can confess his true feelings and also let you know how lucky he would feel if you accepted him.
once he’s ready he’d send you a text or call you, asking you to meet him somewhere quiet, maybe just his house or yours. the two of you meet up and he’s immediately flushed. he’s nervous and excited all at the same time. he’s the kind of guy that would want to have built a strong friendship and bond before confronting his feelings for you, so he’s confident that you guys will be ok no matter what happens.
he’d take your hands in his and look you in the eyes while he confesses. his gaze would be warm and sweet, he’s just glad he could even get the opportunity to express himself to you.
“I’ve really love having you with me. You make me feel better, even when I thought I was fine before, being with you just feels better. The closer we’ve gotten, and the more I’ve seen of you and your world, the more I realize how badly I want to be a part of it.”
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Bachira Meguru ‹𝟹
as soon as bachira realizes he has feelings for you, he feels immediately ready to tell you. he’ll let the feeling settle for a little and try to tell you in an indirect manner. he’ll swoop in with a surprise kiss on your cheek, giggling as he watches your flustered expression. or maybe he’ll leave little notes around for you, in your bag, in your car, in your pockets, in your books, etc. they’d say silly little things about how adorable you were that day or he’ll briefly write about something that reminded him of you, maybe some mediocre poetry he thought up in his love sick state. you’d catch on pretty easily that it was bachira, and he never intended to keep that a secret.
then after a few days of messing with you, he decided he’d tell you the next time he saw you. when the two of you met up he immediately sucked you into a bone crushing hug, like he was holding on for dear life. he’d pull away, “hey cutie~ guess what…” he’d coo at you.
“i like you! Like, I really like you. Maybe I even love you. actually, yeah, love sounds better. I love you! I wanna take you on a date and kiss your stupid face. I know you feel the same, I wish you could see how red you are right now.”
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Nagi Seishiro ‹𝟹
Nagi realized he loved you when he began to notice how sad he would get when you leave. being sad is a serious pain for him. he doesn’t like the way it makes his brain and body feel all fried and stressed, he hates not wanting to do anything even more than he already does, yet simultaneously willing to do anything to get you back in his apartment. Nagi would beg you to sleepover every time you hung out at his place, he’d sometimes try to wrestle you into the bed. you were just so kind and warm and calming to him. he felt graced by you and your presence.
his confession would come out of him like a nice long sign of relief. he’s been having this strange internal battle between his love for you and his love for laziness. it’s a hassle to have to confess and then put in the effort to build up a romantic relationship, but in the end he decides it’s even more of a hassle to not tell you how he feels. plus, you’re so worth it.
“It just doesn’t feel right when you’re not with me. It’s like I don’t really know what to do with myself. You make me feel alive. That sounds cringe. I love you, is what im trying to say. I hope that makes sense.”
disclaimer: do not date a guy like nagi in real life you cannot gentle parent this man child lol
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Reo Mikage ‹𝟹
Reo’s confession was a long time in the making. he clung to his feelings for as long as he could until it really felt like he was gonna explode if he didn’t tell you. he did that because he wanted to wait for the timing to be perfect. he wanted to find the perfect spot to do it, the perfect words to say, all at the perfect time in both of your lives. but of course, things rarely work out that way.
what actually happened is he blurted it out in the middle of you talking one day. you were telling him about something you were working on, something you loved and were really proud of. he was listening so intently, or at least trying to. his thoughts kept stringing him in a different direction and before he knew it, he dropped the L word on you like a nuclear bomb.
“I-uhh…Ok listen, I’m sorry I promise I was listening to you it’s just…you look so beautiful right now and you sound so cute and excited. It got me all frantic, I didn’t mean to drop that on you so out of nowhere…it’s true though, I do love you. I should’ve told you a long time ago.”
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Michael Kaiser ‹𝟹
(unless you speak german) kaiser has already confessed to you a million times. “ich liebe dich~” he’d say to you upon every parting, telling you it was simply a term of endearment. if you did happen to know what that meant already, or if you took the time to search it up, he’d be like “yeah, I said that, so what?” this man would propose to you in the middle of times square in broad daylight he’s so confident but that’s a different hc for another time lmaoo.
his confession is charming and flattering. he truly worships the ground you walk on while also believing that he’s the only one who could appreciate you as you deserve. his hands cup your face and his eyes fall warmly on yours. his voice is direct and steady. not a twinge of nervousness can be seen, just pure love and admiration. he speaks to you with a calm and lulling voice, a tenderness he only lets linger when he’s with you.
“Liebe, don’t you see how soft you make me? I’d hate for you to not realize how I feel for you. I want you to be mine, if you’ll have me, that is.”
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Rin Itoshi ‹𝟹 (i wrote so much for rin wtf)
Rin has walls that he has spent a lot of time and effort building up over the years. they’re forged to keep out anything and everything that may be a distraction from his goals, but if this is the guy you’re going for, i’m sure you’re a persistent little pest. you’d sneak your way into his life, just by being there, texting him, talking about him. soon enough you’d infested his mind as well, suddenly he’d find himself thinking of you when he least expects it.
one day he was on the pitch, just a practice game, but you were in the stands watching him. throughout your friendship you’ve done this quite a few times, so he has no reason to pay much mind to your presence in the middle of the match. today was different though, you were up close, eyes beaming at him in the center field, hands at the side of your head clutched together in a little cheer. he hadn’t done anything yet, the match just started, what were you even cheering for? it was cute, he decided. that’s why it broke his focus long enough for the other team to score. actually, it was adorable. so adorable it tugged the corners of his lips upward slightly, which he quickly moved to cover with his hand. he just threw a match and he was smiling? what were you doing to him?
after some time of thinking you might be employing psychological warfare against him, Rin decided it was time to really sit down and confront his feelings. he’d go a few days, maybe even a week or more without speaking to you. don’t worry, he was thinking about hardly anything but you the entire time.
“Sorry for ghosting you, I just needed to think about some things. It made me a little sad to be away from you too. I hate you a lot less than I hate everyone else, you know? Don’t get cocky about that. Also, don’t leave me ok? I’ll be nicer, yeah sure. Maybe I can walk you home…or something. Here, let’s hold hands.”
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⊹₊⟡⋆ Sae Itoshi ‹𝟹
he’s way more flustered about it than you might think. he’s not embarrassed or nervous necessarily, he just hasn’t expected to feel this way about anyone. similar to kaiser, sae thinks he’s the only person who could truly love and appreciate you as much as you deserve. this typically stoic and selfish man finds himself smiling in your presence and wanting to give you everything you want and more.
your relationship until this point has been uhh… “transactional” we’ll say. the two of you liked going out and hanging out together, but no feelings attached. a few kisses were shared here and there, he’d take you back to his apartment to cuddle sometimes, but wouldn’t ever let you sleepover. eventually things started to get a little more *intense*. you did start staying over, a lot. so much so that you had a toothbrush on his bathroom sink and clothes in his closet. the first time he ever had the thought of being in love with you was when he realized his sheets always smelled like you now, and he wanted it to stay that way.
the fact that you were enough to turn his head, take over his thoughts, and make him fall in love with you feels like proof beyond the reasonable doubt that you are perfect.
“You can move in, if you want. I wouldn’t mind. We’re basically already dating, so I don’t see the point in denying it anymore. Yeah, I didn’t think it would go this far either. I like knowing you’re here at my place, with me and not with anyone else.”
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HONORABLE MENTIONS
⊹₊⟡⋆ Oliver aiku ‹𝟹
“You know I love you, let’s stop pretending. Seriously, you could keep me on a tight leash if you really want. Promise, I’m not going anywhere, babe.”
⊹₊⟡⋆ Kunigami Rensuke ‹𝟹
“I love you, I want you to know that. It’s ok if you don’t feel the same. I want to care for you and keep you safe, you mean so much to me, you don’t even know.”
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i love this post so much, the nagi disclaimer i had to put, the strange onion analogy for rin, the flustered reo moment. also just isagi being here, the man that you are, Isagi Yoichi. i had so much fun making this - aria
divider - @enchanthings
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divinesolas · 7 months ago
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just a little 1k wc smutty drabble of jacaerys eating good, enjoy 😊
You wish you hadn't seen it. What they had been doing, for it is had been plaguing your mind all day. You try to shake off the burning desire in your stomach as you recall the events.
You can’t, for even while you're kissing your husband you are thinking about it. He pulls away from you, a small string of saliva connects the two of you and as he stares at you with hearts in his eyes. “Is something wrong dear?”
You and Jacaerys have always had a very standard time in the bedroom. It is always very pleasurable for you, though you now know that is not the norm after some very shocking and concerning conversations with the other ladies in court, and this leaves you feeling guilty.
Guilty for wanting more of him, wanting him to consume you, for wanting him to give you more when he has already been selfish enough.
“It is nothing dear.” You attempt to push your lips against his once more but he holds your shoulders firmly in place, looking at you worriedly. “You are not yourself. If you are not up for it tonight we do not have to bed, i will not force myself on you.”
This has your heart aching as you look down. He is always so kind and so sweet to you. Which makes you feel like a dirty animal for the thoughts you are thinking.
“I do want to, so badly dear its just,,,” You trail off , turning your head the other way. He is quick to grab your chin and tilt your head back up to look at him. “What is it? If it is something i can do for you i will do it.”
You know he can do it. Or at least you hope he can.
“I had been walking around and i stumbled upon something,” You hesitate, unable to believe the words that are about to drip out of your mouth. “they were a squire and a maid, in the wine cellar, he had he propped up on one of the boxes, he seemed to be giving her pleasure but,” “but what?” Jacaerys voice is shaky, his hands rattle on your skin, he is desperate to hear your words, his breath fans on your skin in a rapid rhythm.
“But his head was between her legs. It is sinful and it is scandalous but i have never seen or heard anything like that before. It had engraved itself in my mind and i cannot stop thinking about ti, the blissful look on her face, not that you do not give me pleasure of course but this looked like it was different. Im sorry i know it is wrong to think about-” You gasp as his lips press heavily against yours.
He grips your jaw with a fury as he kisses you like he never has before. He pulls away from you and presses your foreheads together as you catch your breath. “You wish for me to do that to you my sweet? i will i will do it, gods i have been thinking about this for so long. You let out a squeal as he lightly pushes you to fall onto your back.
“Truly? Then why have you never brought this up before?” He looks embarrassed but he cannot stop himself from tugging up your nightgown to pool around your hips and reveal you bare to him. “It is quite, carnal, i suppose theres no better word for it. I did not think i lady like you would be interested.”
He presses a kiss against your stomach before he looks up at you once more. Its breathtaking to see him at an angle like this, simply staring up at you, you try to catch your breath but you are unable to as he begins to trail kisses down your stomach before stopping right where you want him and moving instead to grab your legs and place them on either sides of his shoulders.
You should feel humiliated, shame should be coursing through your veins but the way jacaerys has an awestruck look as he admires you and the way his hands softly caress your skin is enough to quench any worries and fears you have.
“Are you sure you want this?” He asks, despite the fact that it had been your idea. “Yes.” There is not way you can stop your desire, certainly not with how desperate he seems, like he is dying to be able to put his head between your legs.
His face disappears from your view and you feel him kiss around your thighs. You whine as he continues to simply brush around where you want him and he chuckled, “i’m sorry i will not tease you.”
You wanted to say something back to him but you suddenly jump and a shiver runs down your spine as you feel his hot wet tongue push past your folds.
You harshly grip the top of his head as he hims content, the vibration adding another level of pleasure. You get why the woman seemed to pleased, this was on another plane of ecstasy.
Your head thrown back as he continues to lap against you, the sounds in the room leave your skin feeling hot. You continue to revel in the feeling of him licking at you, drinking up every drop you let out until you also feel something harder press against you. His nose.
You have no clue how he’s even breathing. But you cannot find it in you to care as you find your hips moving on their own, rubbing against his face, hitting his tongue and his nose so perfectly it has you seeing stars.
“Keep doing that please.” He pulls away for a quick second to speak before he is right back to it. You listen, continuing to rut yourself again his face, unable to contain your moans. You’re sure everyone in the damn keep could hear you but you don’t care.
You do notice something curious, he is rutting himself against the bed, the moans he pours into you adds to your pleasure. Was he surely so pleased by this? by bringing you pleasure he had no other choice than to try and quench his own hunger by rutting himself against your sheets like a dog?
You have no time to dwell on it as he brings one of his hands to your clit, taking it in his fingers and rubbing it around. You’re thrown into a whirlwind of pleasure like you couldn't believe. You're sure this is what heaven must feel like.
His hand slides up your chest and you lock your fingers with his as you feel yourself drawing closer and closer to your release. It is like your souls locking together. He grips you so tightly and you grip his back as your face contorts in pleasure as you burst.
You continue to wither in pleasure as he laps up every single drop of essence you spill out in your release. He sits up and stares at you with wide eyes, his usual brown eyes lost in a storm of black, pleasure seeping into his soul.
You can see the shine gloss all over his face, his nose, his jaw, his chin, his lips and his lip especially are noticeable as you can see they are redder and bigger. You watch as he licks his lips and grins at you. “That is so much better than i could have ever dreamed of.”
You have to agree
<3 went a little crazy and wrote this yesterday when i was freaking out of jace <3
Perm Jacaerys taglist
@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife @jacesvelaryons
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mattsturnioloz · 3 months ago
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Then I lost you.
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Part 2.
Summary: Matt's career as a youtuber takes a toll on his 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, putting it on hold. Will it ever be the same again?
Pairings: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Warnings: angst, mentions of anxiety, unresolved angst (maybe)
A/N: (guys this is my first fic so please bear with me😭 l would love some feedback or tips though!!)
I was sitting on the couch scrolling through my phone and channel surfing, waiting for my boyfriend, Matt, to get back from filming a car video with his brothers, Chris and Nick. But over the course of the last couple of months, Matt has been distant and there was a rather uncomfortable feeling sitting in my chest. He would make up excuses as to why he couldn't hang out with me like he was filming, editing or streaming. It made me overthink. Did I do something? Does he still love- No, of course he still loves me. Right?
It was all too much and it gave me anxiety. Sure, I understand his career as a Youtuber can be a handful but I can't help but feel a bit neglected and it makes me feel guilty.. I sit there thinking for a moment, taking in the cool autumn smell that roamed through the house, listening to the patter of the soft rain drops falling onto the windows, trying to think of a way that I could get Matt to spend time with me.
I decide to cook a nice dinner for matt and I or at least attempt to, so I stand up and I head to the kitchen and decide on some ravioli which takes me about an hour but I did it.
Flashback
"What are you gonna get to eat?" | asked Matt.
"I'm not sure.. you know for a fancy restaurant, you'd think they'd have a variety of options." He says before raising his eyebrow at me, showing me the menu and we both chuckle.
"Our first date and i'm already messing up huh?" He says with a nervous chuckle.
"What?? No! you're not messing up i'm having fun." I said with a smile, reaching over the table to hold his hand and he gave me a lighthearted smile.
"Ravioli is the only decent thing they got here, think i'll go with that." He says closing the menu. "See? It's not all that bad, I just so happen to love ravioli. I think I can go for some too.” I smile.
Present
I set up the table with bowls and utensils before making my way to the bathroom and realize that look a bummy mess so l spend the rest of the time I had left before he got back to make myself look at least a little presentable. I feel an overwhelming but nice sense of excitement to spend time with him again. I change into a casual but nice outfit and decide to do a simple and natural makeup look.
I soon hear the sound of the front door opening and chattering following behind it. I make my way out of the room to greet Matt who was laughing with chris and nick.
"Hey baby! How was filming??" | say almost too enthusiastically but I was too excited to keep my cool. "It was alright." He says nonchalantly, which makes me turn my happy demeanor down a notch.
Chris goes downstairs to get ready for something and Nick goes upstairs to do the same. Leaving matt and I alone which was perfect so I take the chance.
"I made-" before I could say anything Matt interrupted me. "Hey, me nick and chris are gonna go to top golf with madi, and nate so I might be home a little late." My heart sinks and i'm flushed with dread but I don't give up so easily.
"Well I actually made dinner for us.. I was hoping we could spend a little time together since we haven't in a while." | say fiddling with my necklace getting a bit anxious.
"I'm sure it's amazing baby but I should go get ready, Save me some yeah?" He says, placing a gentle kiss on my temple before he walks towards our shared bedroom to get ready.
I sit at the table where our food is now cold and I feel a lump in my throat followed by a cold sinking feeling in my chest.
658 words.
A/N: (This is sloppy and I kind of hate it, js wanted to try this out to see what yall think. if you guys like it, i'll keep writing, if not then im never writing again and since it's my first fic I kept it short but if you guys like it, i'll make the next parts longer 🫶🏼)
Taglist: @h3arts4harry @star-yawnznn @imwetforyourmom
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reneesghostinthelivingroom · 8 months ago
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Hi! How are you doing? I was hoping I could request something with Poly!plastics x reader? After Cady gets brought into the plastics, the reader gets insecure and thinks that her girlfriends will replace her with Cady. She tries to hide it but after the three of talk about Cady on date night she snaps. How you end it is up to you, I was want Poly!plastics x reader to be endgame. Thank you 💘
Insecurities
omg im actually obsessed with this idea
|| poly!plastics x fem!reader
(i myself am poly)
|| Warnings: talks of insecurities, feeling leftout/replaced, some swearing, slight bullying of Cady (sorta?)
|| Summary: Reader feels left out when Cady joins the group: the girls don't notice right away. When date night rolls around and all they seem to talk about is Cady, Reader can't take it.
Requests open!
My requests are open, I'm just only writing when I have motivation to right now so it may take time for me to get to them. Like I think this fic almost took me a month to finish 🥲
~~~
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To say you weren't happy about Cady joining the group would be... an understatement. You felt like all your girlfriends attention was suddenly on the new girl. You hate feeling left out and that's exactly how they were making you feel, even if they didn't realize it.
The five of you sat together at your usual lunch seat, Gretchen and Cady were talking, Karen was kind of just listening to them and occasionally throwing in some comment, Regina was focused on her cheese fries. You? You sat there awkwardly. Awkward around your own girlfriends because of Cady. The fact that none of them were even trying to talk to you. You couldn't take it.
You suddenly stood, holding your lunch tray. Which got their attention. You were about to leave when Karen called your name.
"Y/N? Where are you going?" Karen asked, a slight frown on her lips. You try to hide your insecurities and force out a smile, Gretchen narrows her eyes at you. She could always tell when something was off.
"I was just going to the bathroom." You state.
"With your lunch?" Karen looked confused.
You looked down at the lunch tray in your hands and then glanced at Cady, who was looking at you with concern while you were trying to hide the jealousy in your eyes.
"Oh, um, no I'm not hungry so I was gonna go throw it out then go to the bathroom." You quickly came up with a response, racking your brain for something that made sense. Though now you had to actually throw out your lunch and, truthfully, you weren't really all that hungry. So you felt fine with the lie.
Regina raised an eyebrow at you and seemed to share some look with Gretchen.
You ignored them and followed through with your lie. Heading to the nearest garbage, dumping your tray then putting the now empty tray with the rest before going to the bathroom. There you locked yourself in one of the stalls and sighed deeply, leaning against the back of the door.
Maybe you could have tried a little more to be social. But you didn't feel like you could connect with anything they were talking about. Cady had mostly been leading the conversation. You didn't quite know how to interact with her yet. The two of you didn't have anything in common, that you knew of. So it just always felt awkward to even try.
~~~
It was later that night, you and your girlfriends had planned a date that you'd been working on for months. You were excited it was finally happening. You were going to the theatres and then after all of you would dine at a fancy five star restaurant, all paid for by Regina though the rest of you did chip in what you could. Much to Regina's disliking. She loves spoiling her girls. fight me
As the four of you sat at the table, waiting for your food you found yourself just listening to the conversation again. Not being apart of it. They were talking about Cady. On date night. Fucking Cady. It made your chest twist and heart ache. You couldn't help but feel like in the short amount of time that Cady's been there she's replaced you. The feeling was killing you. You couldn't sit with it anymore. Before you could stop yourself...
"Seriously? Can't you guys shut up about Cady for one second? It's date night! This is supposed to be about us. Not her." You snapped, the table went quiet and their eyes were on you. Confusion quickly replaced with concern. Which then made you the confused one until you realized you were crying. When did you start crying?
"Oh my God!" Gretchen says, quickly reaching across the table and grabbing your hands. The four of you were situated so Regina sat next to you, Karen across from Regina, Gretchen next to Karen and across from you." We're so sorry, we didn't even..." She looks at Karen and then at Regina with a frown, clearly none of them had realized how you felt. Gretchen thought she had picked up on something weird earlier today, she didn't know if she had been overthinking that look you gave Cady but it turns out she was right. Gretchen sighs.
Regina drapes an arm around your waist and pulls you in close to her side, her nails trailing through your hair as she looks at you with a look you couldn't quite figure out. "Are you jealous?" Regina was always more blunt. Even with you.
"I don't... well, it's not really jealousy.. jealousy is definitely a part of it but it's like- I feel like Cady's replacing me." You try to explain your thoughts with a little struggle. There were so many going through your head that it was hard to jump on a single train of thought. So they all mixed together a bit when you spoke.
The three glance around at each other, seeming to have some silent conversation. Regina speaks up first. Her hold on your waist tightening a little but not in a way that was uncomfortable to you.
"Why the fuck would we replace you with her?"
You pause and blink, looking at Regina in confusion. You thought her and the others had been really close with Cady. You were so sure of it too. To hear Regina immediately dismiss the thought, it definitely surprised you. Were they not as close as you had assumed?
"What?" You reply, your confusion showing on your face. By now the tears had stopped flowing but the streaks remained.
"Why do you think we would replace you with Cady? We don't actually like her. We've been making fun of her." Regina states simply. That was news to you. They never really included you in their kittle schemes because they knew it wasn't your style, they respected that. Though sometimes you'd hear the stories.
"But you gave Cady those shoes?" Your head was beginning to hurt trying to figure all this out. If they didn't like Cady why was she even in the group? It didn't make sense to you.
"Because we thought it would be hilarious watching her try to walk in them. And it was." Regina shrugged, a slight smirk on her face as she glanced over at Gretchen.
Karen looked about as confused as you," wait. We don't like Cady?"
"Honey..." Gretchen looked at Karen with a soft gaze and rested one of her hands on her lower back, keeping the other in your hand.
Regina brought her focus back to you and kissed you deeply, hand moving from your waist to rest under your chin before she breaks the kiss. Smirking against your lips as she looks into your eyes.
"Better?" She whispered, you nodded your head. A blush coated your cheeks as you stared back into the blonde's eyes. She always managed to leave you speechless.
The rest of the date went by smoothly, your girls focused on making sure you were the center of attention for the entire date. Including you in conversation, always finding some way to touch you. By the time the four of you got to Regina's room, you were exhausted as you let yourself collapse onto her bed. Gretchen giggled as she watched you and was the first to lay down beside you, wrapping you in her arms and pulling you close. Karen came down on your other side, doing the same. Making sure her arms wrapped around both you and Gretchen. Regina took a picture of the three of you and posted it to Insta before joining you guys in bed. Fully laying herself on top of you with her arms around your hips as she planted a soft kiss to your jawline; which got a hum out of you in response. The four of you remained cuddled up with each other until you feel asleep.
Feeling much better than you did at the start of the day.
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thoughtsforsoob · 1 year ago
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when you’re sick - txt
A/n: I didn’t get sick during this break and thats not good because I’m gonna end up getting sick at school :p I hate being sick at school because I have to take care of myself and try to avoid getting my roomie sick :((( poor roomie. Anyways, please enjoy this! If you’re sick right now, please drink lots of warm tea, water and make sure to eat enough okay? Requests are always open!
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Yeonjun
clingy clingy clingy
he's such a sweetheart
he's also one who will baby you 100%
"aww, my baby is sickie hmmm?" in the sweetest voice ever
he makes sure you stay in bed and scolds you if you try to get up and do anything
omg don't even try doing chores, he's gonna kick your ass
he drags you right back to bed, tucks you in as tight as a burrito and turns on the tv so you won't leave again
he makes sure everything is taken care of before he gets to work! he doesn't want his girl to worry.
Soobin
this big guy
he snuggles up to you and refuses to leave your side
he's your own personal heater and he helps you stay warm
when you try to make him leave so he doesn't get sick, he pouts and does his best aegyo (he want's to die deep inside when he does the aegyo but if it means you'll listen to him, he'll do it 100 times)
you finally give in and he holds you tight
he orders your favorite food for you so neither of you have to worry about cooking and orders you your favorite drink
Beomgyu
clingy part2 + annoying (in the most endearing way possible)
he is so sweet through and he means well
he will make sure you're tucked into bed and he will do his best to entertain you
literally stands in front of you and puts on a show, dancing and singing for you and being silly to make you laugh and forget how much it hurts being sick
he also loves to make fun on you and then snuggle you right after
"ew! you're gonna spread your disease to me! oh baby...no! im just kidding! come here!"
Taehyun
he doesn't want to get sick so he tries to keep his distance from you
when you tell him you're sick, he immediately starts to gather things you might need
this sweetheart will get you some presents to in order to keep you busy and happy
homebody shows up with a new Nintendo switch, AirPods, etc...
all casually he's like, "here baby, have fun. I know I can't keep you much company but I wanted to help at least"
you're crying because he's so kind and he take this chances and hugs you, giving you only 1 kiss...
eventually caves and gives you more kisses
Huening Kai
This boy is an absolute angel
when you swat him away to not get him sick also, he whines and gets even closer to you
he knows you really want him to be around
aka: he asked his sisters what he should do and they help him make you a little get well kit
it has homemade soup, sweets (chocolate), yummy drinks/tea bags, and a cute new mug for your drink!
he brings it to you and serves you soup in a cute bowl and makes you tea for you!
he just wants to be close and take care of you!
ps: he brings you a plushie from his collection to keep you company when he can't be with you
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storusangel · 9 months ago
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yayy okay so let's talk about dp with bullies satosugu but it's an au where they're both demons and reader is a pretty angel
gojo and geto like to have a little fun tormenting innocent humans, but lately their plans have been "ruined" by reader
she spoils their fun because it's her duty to protect humans but also because she's kinda hoping to get the boys' attention
they come up with a plan to surprise her and finally give her what she wants: to have her cute angel holes filled by her favorite bullies 💦🩷
a/n: omg nonny i haven’t written in ages and this is my first req after redoing my whole blog and im sososo happy you shared this thot with me im literally creaming
cw: dom!satosugu, sub!reader, multiple orgasms (reader), overstim, pet names (princess, baby, sweet/pretty/good girl), slight degradation, sprinkle of praise, double penetration (1 hole), cunnilingus, 'toru slaps your cunt twice, he also "slaps" your face once, oral (m! and f! receiving), creampie, unprotected sex, dumbification (sorry i couldn't help myself), MDNI, lmk if i missed anything!!
w/c: 1.4k
Devil!Satoru and Devil!Suguru are the WORST! They make your life as the resident caring angel so hard :( They’re always prancing around toying with oblivious humans.
Before they met you, their antics were occasional and spontaneous. But when they first saw you swoop down and save the poor innocent soul they had been messing with, they knew they had to see you again. Even if that meant going out of their way to torment more humans than they were interested in doing.
And they knew you were enjoying it. Not enjoying saving the humans, but enjoying seeing Satoru and Suguru. The two men were constantly bored and aching for a new plaything, those plain humans just weren’t cutting it anymore. They needed to get their hands on you and that sweet cunt you’d been hiding from them.
They also knew you were too shy to say anything. You were just a pretty little angel trying to stop two big, mean devils from harming the one thing you had sworn to protect. So of course, they kept on with their torments towards those inferior humans. And you, of course, kept coming in to save the day.
“That’s enough! Don’t you guys think it’s time you give those poor humans a break. They haven’t done anything to you” You scolded, putting up a horrible act of pretending you weren’t enjoying their company.
Deep down all three of you knew that something was bound to happen soon. You were all reaching your breaking point. Soon enough they’d give you exactly what you want from them, and they would take exactly what they want from you.
Devil!Satoru and Devil!Suguru wouldn’t be able to hold the title of devils if they weren’t as good as they were in teasing you and slowly breaking you down into the perfect pet for them. But to do that, they’d need you to open up first. What better way to coax a kind hearted angel out of her shell than to surprise her?
As you laid down on your back against the plush expanse of your bed, you wondered why you hadn’t seen or heard anything from Satoru and Suguru. It had been an entire week of peace and quiet; something you weren’t used to and something you didn’t miss.
You didn’t enjoy seeing pure-hearted humans get hurt by them, but you did enjoy the way Satoru and Suguru looked at you when you scolded them. Like they were going to eat you up and, God, you wished they would.
Pulling a pillow over your head you groaned. “Aww poor baby, somethin’ wrong?” A muffled voice called out from your right. A voice that sounded a lot like….Satoru? “She must’ve missed us. I think she likes us more than she’d like to admit” Another voice calls out, this time from your left and the sound is similar to the honeyed voice of Suguru.
Amidst your confusion, the pillow you had used to cover your face was ripped from your hands and lo and behold were the two missing men. Before you can stop yourself, you whined out a quiet “I missed you”. By the looks on their faces, you could tell they had missed you too. And that they definitely had something planned for you.
“Yeah, baby? You missed us? Fuck, we missed you too. Our sweet, little angel. Always pretending she’s coming down to save those worthless humans when she really just wants to be near us.” Satoru starts.
“No- No I” This time, you’re cut off by Suguru. “Don’t be like that pretty girl. We missed you too. In fact, Satoru and I wanna show you how much we missed you”.
You couldn’t believe it. You’ve waited for so long for them to finally give you what you’d been craving since the day you saved the first human they tormented. Were you dreaming? Were you in heaven? No, of course not. Devils aren’t allowed in heaven. This was hell.
Everything happens so suddenly. You're flipped on your hands and knees, Satoru behind you and the tent in Suguru’s pants is right in front of your face just begging to be touched. Before you can even pick a hand up to unzip Suguru, you feel a large hand flip your skirt up followed by two long digits rubbing against your clothed pussy.
Another whine escapes your lips as Satoru’s ring and middle finger draw tight circles around your clit from above your panties. When Satoru finally drags your panties down and off your ankles is when Suguru speaks up again. “C’mon princess, don’t keep me waiting. We’ve been so patient with you. Don’t make us be mean to you on our first day. Or would you like that?”
The whimper that escapes your lips doesn’t go unnoticed by the two. Suguru drops his boxers and jeans, kicking them off as fast as he can. “Kiss the tip baby- Fuck, that’s it. Good girl” The praise is sent straight between your legs and a chuckle from Satoru lets you know he felt your needy cunt clench around his fingers. 
“You like that, baby? You wanna be praised? But you’re acting like such a slut. What kind of angel lets two devils use her like this? Oh sweet girl, you’re so wet. You like when I’m mean to you?” You want to say no, you want to tell him it isn’t true (it is true), but Suguru shoves himself farther down your throat, a guttural groan sending vibrations all over your body. 
You’re so focused on trying to take Suguru down your throat that you don’t realize Satoru getting impatient. A sharp slap on your clit brings your attention back to Satoru. You barely get out a “S’toruuuu” before he does it again. Another cross between a moan and a whine leaves your mouth causing Suguru to buck his hips into your face. 
Satoru can tell you’re getting distracted again, but this time he opts to wrap his soft tongue around your clit while his ring and middle finger slip inside your wet folds, scissoring you open. They’re both so overwhelming, Satoru behind you slurping away at your sweet pussy and Suguru wrapping a hand around your head and pulling it back and forth on his dick. 
And then as if they were connected telepathically, they both pull away at the same time. Your head is spinning, the only thing on your mind is making sure you end the night with them stuffing you full of their cum. 
Satoru leans back against the headboard and pulls you into his lap, your back facing Suguru. And finally, finally, he slowly sinks you down on his fat length. It’s already too much for you but Suguru is right behind him, they’ve waited long enough. You can take them both. As soon as you’ve settled down on Satoru, Suguru is pushing into you. 
“W-Wait, fuucckkk, ‘s too much! Too big!” You cry out, but the two devils don’t seem to care. They buck their hips into yours, the room filled with echoes of your whines and moans of “C-Can’t”, “Wan’ more” and “Please d-don’t stop”. Soon enough you’re not talking at all. You’ve cum more times than you can count. The overstimulation was too much for you to handle. 
Your eyes have rolled into your head and the only thing you can think of is Satoru and Suguru and Suguru and Satoru. A light slap on the right side of your face gets you to look at Satoru but he can tell from that far-away look in your eyes that you aren’t completely here anymore. That’s okay though. He knows he wanted this, he knows Suguru wanted this, and he for sure knows that you needed this.
“Suguru, shit, I think our sweet, little angel has gone dumb” A groan is heard from the other man. “Fuck, what slut. She takes us so well.” G-Gonna cum soon” A response is heard almost immediately “M-Me too. You gonna cum for us one more time, pretty girl?” Suguru’s hand snakes around your waist to use a finger of his to rub fast and messy circles around your puffy clit. 
No longer able to respond, you arch your back further into Satoru causing your head to lean back on Sugurus shoulder as you whine out in overstimulation. Their thrusts become erratic and you know they’re getting closer and closer and finally they fill you up as you cum. The sticky, sweaty smell of sex overwhelms your senses. Another tap is felt on your shoulder, “Hey pretty, let’s get you cleaned up”
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tojisun · 2 months ago
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cw: power imbalance; voyeurism; hinted age gap n stuff; mean squad; gn reader
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im so sorry for going back to spanking but its still so hot to think about being spanked as punishment and made to count the amount of smacks, but if you get it wrong you have to start all over again :(
and just.
Thinking about Price making a show out of you in front of his subordinates; how he had gripped your arm to hiss something to you, leaving you to tremble in your embarrassment because everyone could hear him scold you, before pulling you away. But then his squad followed with their own thundering footsteps echoing behind you and—
Why?
Why are they here to see your undoing?
John had yanked you to his lap with something mean dripping from his maw, and you hiccupped, telling him your sorry’s and your please’s as your eyes danced to the giddy ones of his squad because why were they not looking away—
John told you to count your punishment, driving you to tears when every painful smacks grew in strength and in numbers at every of your mistakes. You begged him for a reprieve, sniffling when his silence was all that you could hear; when even the comfort of his familiar drawl was kept from you.
Hell, his squad was even louder.
Kyle would croon about how beautiful you looked; how good you were being; how John — and he said John’s name in that way that made you feel excluded; like he is more to John than you could ever be — “is being too mean, isn’t he? Oh Sir, why don’t you be kinder to your darlin’, huh?”
His… kindness was terrifying. It made you feel caged; backed into the corner until the heavy drop of John’s hand on your rear was more of a comfort.
Johnny was meaner; his words were vitriolic and skirted the edges beyond teasing — they made you feel like the rookie you are. He would huff a pleased laugh at your squeaks and squeals, and at your floundering words. He would croon at your every plea, almost mocking whenever you flounder and end up restarting. It was humiliating, yes, but—
It was Simon who made you feel the brunt of your punishment the most. His near-silence would only be broken up whenever he talked to John — telling him to switch hands or to fall to the other mound of your ass; telling him to pull your uniform further down because he couldn’t see; then grunting when he was satisfied.
John returned their chatter, his voice switching from the rugged way he rumbled to you into a softer cadence — a hospitable host.
“What number is it, kid?” Your captain grunts, his roughened palm rubbing along the welts on your ass in faux comfort. The calm before the storm. A stalking hunter.
You hiccup, your throat aching and your eyes throbbing because amidst the shuffle of their conversation, you realize that you’ve lost count. That you no longer remember.
You grip his fatigues, trying to bite down the sobs dancing along your pinched lips, but John’s hold gains edge. It gains strength, fingers tightening on your bruised skin.
“Must I always repeat myself?” He sighs, and you jolt at the feeling of his hand leaving your body.
No—
“Thirteen!” you reply, yelling.
There is silence, then the sound of Johnny snickering. Your stomach swoops, your body locking up at the realization.
You gave John the wrong number.
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atlabeth · 11 months ago
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all of me | luke castellan
pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader
a/n: sooooooo i know that i said i would work on something else but this hit me and suddenly i could not rest until i wrote something for it so you're getting headcanons since i can't formulate proper thoughts. some of this is dialogue but most of this is pure stream of consciousness. im already kind of obsessed w them ?
wc: 3.7k lollll this got away from me but it was so much fun.
warning(s): parental death, fighting, normal royal stuff. fluff, angst, all that good shit
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princess!reader and knight!luke
yeah
and they're childhood friends bc they grew up in the castle together
YEAH
luke is the son of a kingsguard and he wants to be just like his mom 
his father is out of the picture (booo) and his mom never really talks about him but she’s raised luke the best she can
shoutout to may castellan, she was the first female kingsguard! and definitely the first to personally guard the king 
you are the heir to the throne and the only thing you're sure of is that you want luke to be in your life
you basically spent all your time together because he was kinda the only one your parents would approve you hanging out with
most of the crownsguard don't have children and those that do have them live with their spouse outside of the palace, and your parents didn't want you spending time with the children of servants
and luke's mom is your father's closest friend because she's the king's personal knight and so everything’s basically already vetted and they don’t have to worry about you accidentally getting murdered by him 
so you and luke basically spend every moment of your free time together!! 
even when you’re not free tbh 
sometimes you beg your tutor to hold your lessons outside so that you can sneak glimpses at the knights training and luke training alongside them 
whenever he sees you, his face always instantly brightens and he will lose focus in whatever tf he’s doing because he’s only thinking about you now 
and instead of either of you doing what you’re supposed to do, you just spend the whole time making faces at each other and trying to grab the other’s attention 
after his mother tries (and fails) to get him back on track a million times and your tutor realizes that you’re never going to listen to her historical prattles they allow the two of you to talk for “FIVE MINUTES AND NO LONGER MY BOY” and your tutor is all “i ask that you do not delay our lessons any further, your highness” 
and tbf you and luke could notttttt care less. you immediately join up and you start teasing him about his form and how he was holding his sword and he just makes fun of you for having to be a princess
“Your form is horrendous, Luke! How do you expect to beat anyone holding a sword like that?” 
“At least I’ll be on the battlefield one day. You can bore our enemies to sleep with your recounts of Aureldan history.” 
“Oh, I bet I could beat you right now. I’ve got royal blood in my veins.” 
“And I’ve got knight’s blood in mine,” he says. “I’ve at least got a sword. That’s more than you have.”
You huff. “Mother says I have to learn propriety before I even think about picking up a weapon.” 
“Do you want to hold mine?” he asks immediately, his eyes lighting up as he offers it over. “It’s just wood because Mom doesn’t want me to hurt myself, but that means it’s safe for you.” 
you do. obviously. 
You’ve got soft hands, untouched by the world, and the sword feels foreign in their grasp as you realize this is in fact the first time you’ve ever held a weapon. You cut it through the air a few times and Luke is grinning wider than ever 
“I think the role of a warrior princess suits you,” he says.
“It is nice,” you muse as you turn it over in your hands, already growing used to the feeling of it. 
“And you look great with it,” he says. “Powerful.” 
“I’d give myself a splinter before I can do anything with it,” you retort as you hand it back to him. “It’s a nice thought, though.” 
His eyes light up. “You should train with us sometime. My mom is the best at teaching— she’d teach you everything you need to know!”
You glance back at your tutor, who is very clearly eavesdropping, and you sigh as you look back at Luke. “Maybe in a few months.” 
Luke’s mother calls his name and it’s obvious that your time is over. You hug each other and promise to meet up as soon as your responsibilities for the day are over, then go back to your respective duties. 
Your tutor takes you inside because she doesn’t want anymore distractions, and you wave at each other like crazy as you’re walking back into the castle.
so yeah. you’re best friends and you have been since you first met as children, and though it is a battle for your betters to keep you on task if you’re near each other, you just light up when you see each other and it actually helps 
You’re learning dining etiquette and if you get told that you’re using the wrong spoon again, you’re going to lose your mind. 
luke is hurrying through the halls to catch up with his mother and you both catch a glimpse of each other. 
your posture straightens, he stops in his tracks, and you both smile at each other. then luke’s mother calls his name again and he’s on his way again. 
spoons aren’t that bad, you think 
you’re mulling over history books in the library that make you want to fall asleep.
luke just happens to be walking past on the way to his chores, and when he spots you, he yells out your name and waves at you. you wave back, and you both stifle laughs as your tutor shushes you 
suddenly, you’re not feeling so down.
Luke is training on his own out in the yard before dinner and he’s about ready to break his sword over his knee because he can not get this damned move right. 
he hears your voice across the way and sees you, all dressed up and with your parents about to get into a carriage. you’re on your way to a ball, he remembers you telling him earlier, and he finds himself smiling. 
You had been complaining about it, and Luke had told you to just think of the two of you hanging out whenever you were bored. You said you were already planning on it.
His smile widens. He’d be thinking of you too, wondering what it would be like for him to attend with you. Dressed in the same gaudy outfits as the rest of the court, having to go through the same dull niceties that you’d been raised on, listening to stories from other royals he couldn’t care less about. 
Standing beside you as an equal. 
Luke’s young, but he already doesn’t care for nobles and their court. But he thinks he would wear any amount of uncomfortable suits and listen to any number of dull proposals for you. 
for the rest of the night, he trains better than he thinks he ever has. 
and of course, you break the rules together. GOD HELP YOUR CHARGES YOU ALWAYS BREAK THE RULES TOGETHER 
your tutor cannot count how many times you’ve slipped out of lessons and she’s found you in the halls talking with luke, him smiling brighter than she’s ever seen as he listens to you go on and on and on 
your mother cannot count all the times you’ve talked about what you and luke did that day instead of describing to her any of the history or arithmetic you were supposed to be learning 
May always keeps watch over her son, but she’s been known to turn a blind eye when Luke thinks he’s being sneaky to go off and see you. 
and of course, sometimes you actually hang out when you’re allowed to hang out lol 
you’ve run around every bit of the palace grounds together, you ride horses together (with parental supervision of course), and once you’re a bit older, you’re actually allowed to practice with luke and the rest of the knights! 
typically, it’s a shorter session with May teaching the two of you, and typically, it ends with both of you ready to die because you’re just kids and even though Luke is a prodigy, you are sooooo bad at swordfighting. it’s honestly not even funny how bad you are at it the first couple of lessons 
But May just pats you on the shoulder and promises to work with you until you’re as good as her. 
(luke pouts and says he wants to be better than you. you forget that you’re holding a sword and just start complaining at each other) 
(“you CAN’T be better than me luke I’m the princess”) (“YES I CAN MY MOM’S THE GREATEST KNIGHT EVER”) (“SHE PROTECTS MY DAD WHICH MEANS I CAN BE THE BEST EVER”) (“THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE”) (“YES IT DOES”) (“NO IT DOESN’T”) (“I’M YOUR PRINCESS YES IT DOES”) 
(the lesson ends when May has to pry you two apart) 
but we haven’t gotten to the knight part. 
because it’s a bit sad. 
what happens to may in pjo canon is awful but 
May Castellan dies when you and Luke are sixteen. A month after your birthday, in fact. Four months after Luke’s. 
(he’s always held those three months over you, especially as you get older.) 
(it doesn’t seem to matter as much now.)  
rumor has it throughout the kingdom that she slowly went insane and then fully lost it, ultimately dying in an attack against the king during a ball that turned out to be a set-up. 
the only one who knows what really happened that night is your father as he was the only other person there at her death that still lives, but he refuses to talk about it, only saying that “Head of the Kingsguard May Castellan died a hero and shall be remembered as such”. 
Luke… does not take it well 
besides the king, he obviously spent the most time with his mother and it was obvious to anyone that she loved him with all her heart and wanted him to follow whatever dreams he may have had 
she’s given a knight’s funeral and you are beside Luke the entire time, holding his hand or him leaning against you as you listen to eulogies or even just sitting next to each other because your presence is enough for him. it doesn’t matter what—you’re always connected in some way, and no one says a single thing. 
he needs you, and you need him. it’s as simple as that. and no one dares to correct the princess when she’s icier than they’ve ever seen her.
You put on that front to protect Luke—you don’t want anyone bothering him, and you don’t want him to have to worry about you at a time like this. 
Because you know he would. He always does. 
When Luke gives his speech, barely able to hold back tears, he looks at you the entire time. he doesn’t tell you, but you’re the only reason he’s able to get through the day. 
Luke becomes a ward of the royal family. 
There’s no chance you’re letting him leave, and Luke doesn’t want to go either. The memories of his mother all around are painful, but he takes some small comfort that she’ll live on in Aurelda forever. 
Your parents have no objection to it—he grew up in the palace anyways, and he can practically provide for himself. You wouldn’t have let them say no. 
You’re thankful beyond words that Luke is still here. Because everything feels like a mess, and things are a little more manageable with him by your side. 
Someone tried to kill your father. They killed Luke’s mother instead. Both of you are broken in different ways.
Obviously, this sparks the beginnings of war both in Aurelda and in Luke’s entire being. 
but that’s a topic for another day. 
May’s death changes your relationship. 
She was his mother, obviously, but you were close to her as well. you could never forget every time she ruffled your hair and complimented your sword fighting, or every time she would acknowledge you in the midst of a crowd with a smile and a nod, or every time she would act like a mother and not a knight. 
she had the best hugs in the entire kingdom. 
But her death changes your relationship because Luke changes. 
He’s angrier. His edges have all sharpened, honed by his own spirit. He softens when he’s around you, but to the outside eye he’s impenetrable. He thinks you’re the only one that understands him. 
Others pity him, fear him, are jealous of him. 
You treat him the way you always have. Like your best friend. 
That’s all he needs. 
And so Luke throws himself into his training, vowing to become the youngest kingsguard in Aureldan history to honor his mother’s memory. He wasn’t able to save his mother, and he needs to become strong enough to protect the ones he loves from anything. 
(You don’t know it, but he thinks of you every time he closes his eyes and sees the night his mother died. He’s in the place of his mother and you’re in your father’s position, and Luke knows that he would sacrifice himself for you every single time.) 
So you don’t have as much time for each other anymore. Luke is on his kingsguard mission, and you’re starting to come into your own as the Crown Princess of Aurelda. 
You can’t sneak out of lessons anymore to go talk with Luke, because you’re starting to learn about the nuances of politics. 
Luke can’t let you interrupt his training, because he’s on a warpath and he won’t be stopped before he reaches his goal. 
You can’t neglect your responsibilities because they’re more than just etiquette or history lessons. War is going to come to Aurelda sooner or later, and you’ve got to be ready when it does.
You’re only sixteen, but neither of you are children anymore.  
But you’re still best friends. Nothing can change that—it’s just changed the way you show it. 
You take your morning walks with your mother past the training grounds, and Luke always smiles at you and salutes no matter what. You bow your head in a very refined, princess-y nod, and you continue on. 
Luke makes sure he’s always the one that gets to deliver news to you, even going so far as to make deals with other servants and messengers just to make sure he gets to see you at least once a day. 
Most of the time, you end up seeing each other at night. Just happening to end up in the kitchens at the same time for a midnight snack that results in hours of talking with each other. Bringing Luke to your balcony to look at the stars together. 
Even some midnight training has occurred together, though you always end up a sweaty mess and having to make a bath for yourself because you can’t alert your servants. Luke says he likes you best when you have that vicious glint in your eye while you’re training with him. 
Luke still has horrific dreams, and though he weathered them on his own for a while, one night he finds himself outside your door. When you open it, seeing his haunted eyes and disheveled appearance, you let him in immediately.
It’s not the first time you’ve slept in the same bed after nightmares, and you know it won’t be the last. 
(You spent the whole week together after his mother’s death. Not even your parents could complain when they saw the change in both of you.)  
And Luke does it. He completes his training, having become one of the fiercest and youngest warriors Aurelda has ever seen. Traditionally, knights are older, but an exception was made for Luke—he’s got the Castellan name and a childhood spent with the greatest knights in the kingdom to back him up.
You’re the first person he tells when he finds out, and your scream of pure joy must have echoed throughout the entire castle. You hug him tighter than he’s ever been hugged before, and for just a moment, in your embrace, he feels like you’re both kids again. 
Weeks from his eighteenth birthday, your father knights Luke Castellan in an official ceremony. 
Not just as a member of the kingsguard, though—he is sworn in as a knight, and as your personal bodyguard. 
Your father didn’t tell you beforehand, and you thank a childhood of courtly influence to keep the shock off your face. One hand tightens ever so slightly into a fist, and you let it out just as quickly. 
You can’t see Luke’s expression, kneeling and head turned downward. You would pay all the gold in the kingdom to know what he was thinking. 
“Sir Luke Castellan.” Your father’s voice booms through the hall, and a shiver even goes down your spine. “Do you swear to serve Aurelda as her loyal knight, through war and peace, through riches and debt?”
“I do,” Luke says. 
“Do you swear to protect the Crown Princess of Aurelda—” your father says your entire title, and for the fifth time you wonder how many middle names a princess needs, “—my daughter—with everything you have in you, until your dying breath?” 
Your breathing stills for the slightest moment. 
Luke doesn’t flinch. “I do.” 
The thought of Luke dying for you is unimaginable. It’s something you’d never ask of him—you don’t think you could live in a world without him anyways. You know it’s what knights are expected to do—for king and country, my life for yours—but that’s for any member of the royal family—any member of the court. 
Luke is assigned solely to your protection. 
And he doesn’t even falter when he bonds his life to yours. 
As soon as the ceremony is over and Aurelda has gained three new knights, you’re on your way to Luke. You don’t care if anyone else wants to talk with the princess, you don’t care if your parents need to tell you something—royal propriety be damned, you need to talk to Luke.
He doesn’t look surprised when you march up to him, but there’s already a different air about him. 
Maybe it’s because in these past couple of years he’s absolutely shot up in height, maybe it’s because his insane training regimen has toned every part of him, maybe it’s because he’s done what no one else has done before, or maybe it’s just because he actually accomplished his goal. 
But when he smiles at you, that crooked slant to his lips that always meant mischief when you were younger, it’s enough to make that train of thought immediately shut down. 
“Princess,” he greets. “I think we’re going to be spending a lot more time together, these days.” 
“Yeah,” you say, the warpath you’d intended to be on fading away almost immediately with his words (and that goddamned smile that will certainly be the death of you someday.) “Maybe this is our way to make up on all that lost time.” 
“...I’d like that,” Luke says. 
“Can I hug you?” you ask wryly. “Or is that unbecoming of a brand new knight?” 
“I don’t think anyone will tell the princess she is doing something wrong,” Luke says. 
So you do. You hug him, and he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you hate that you had any doubt that he would. You’ve always felt safe in his embrace even since you were children, and now that he’s four times as strong and much taller, you feel it more than ever. 
He truly does look the part of a perfect knight. You remember the days of wooden sword fights and afternoons by the lake, wondering what your future awaited, but sure you would be together no matter what. 
You feel like you’ve aged a century since then.
“I’m proud of you, you know,” you say as you pull away. “You’re incredible. I mean— you always have been, but this… It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. So I’m proud of you.” 
Luke brushes his curls out of his face with a gauntleted hand, his smile turning a bit more genuine. “It means the world, princess. You are… one of the main reasons that I even made it up here. So I have you to thank.” 
You feel your cheeks heat. “I haven’t done anything.” 
“You’ve been you,” he refutes. “You’ve stood by my side through everything, and you’ve always been there when I need you no matter what. You’ve done everything.” 
You’re thankful for the sheer sleeves of your gown, because now your entire body feels warm. And maybe that’s why you practically blurt the question out, but it’s been burning in your mind since the moment it happened. 
“Did you know?” 
He frowns. “Know what?” 
“That you would become my personal guard,” you said. “You’ve wanted to be a part of the kingsguard since you were a child, and now…” 
“Princess,” Luke says, “I asked your father for the honor.” 
That throws you off. “What?”
“Do you think he would entrust your wellbeing to just anyone?” he asks. “It’s part of the reason I’ve been training so hard—I wanted to prove to him that I was worthy of the position.” 
“Luke—” you start, but he shakes his head.  
“War is coming to Aurelda whether we like it or not,” he says. “All I want is for you to be safe. This way, I can ensure it.” 
“You said you would die for me,” you say. “You vowed it.” 
“That is generally how knighthood works, yes—” 
“Luke,” you interrupt forcefully. “I don’t want you to die for me.” 
“The goal is for nobody to die,” he says wryly. 
You cross your arms. “You know what I mean.” 
“Your safety is my number one concern, princess,” he says. “That’s all you need to know.” 
You stare at him. He stares back. 
You win, because Luke sighs and shakes his head. “We don’t have to worry about that at the moment. Right now, you have to get back to change before you sit in on an advisor’s meeting with the king and queen.” 
You frown. “How do you know?” 
“I’m your guard,” Luke says. “It’s my job to know.” 
“You were just sworn in!” you protest. 
“And I am always prepared,” he remarks. Luke holds his hand out in a gesture towards the door. “After you, princess.” 
You shake your head as you start walking. You hear Luke’s footsteps start soon after, much heavier than yours in full armor as opposed to your ceremonial dress. “You are ridiculous.” 
“Which is also my job,” Luke muses.
and so luke becomes a knight, but not just any knight.
your knight.
good luck handling that crush on him you've harbored since childhood now.
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