#im just terrible at managing my life rn

[mothdruid]

IM SORRY IM SO MIA RECENTLY. LIFE HAS BECOME EXTREMELY OVERWHELMING AND THE SEMESTER IS COMING TO AN END SO THERE IS SO MUCH WORK AND I GOT A PERSONAL TRAINER FOR NUTRITION + WORKING OUT AND MY COLLEGE PLAY PRODUCTION IS THIS WEEKEND AND THERE IS JUST SO MUCH FUCKING STUFF

[bunnyboy-juice]

blah blah blah blah blah

[gothamcityneedsme]

that job post has me thinking like. god im so relieved im at where i am right now. i had a feeling while working on my education degree and having a lot of field experience that i may not actually want to work in the field. i was cautious. i considered changing my major to journalism (or a few other things) but ultimately didn't because i didn't want to get trapped in college forever + was on a scholarship tied to my degree + was double majoring (which I knew would look good in the future). so i didn't change my major and kept working, got through my student teaching (which was. a fucking nightmare era of my life jesus christ. if i wasn't already hesitating on this, like, student teaching was a 100% certainty moment for me).

then once i was out i took a gap year to recollect my sanity after student teaching, and i also moved out (i was able to do both of these things thanks to my money from my military training. 25+ weeks of pay that i didn't spend added up to enough for me to do those things).

and THEN i started job hunting for the 'boring office job' concept that i had first considered swapping my plans to in college. i started retail part time while i kept up my other job hunting, landed a sort of crappy job but one that paid a little better and wasn't too terrible. got laid off from that one so started hunting again as soon as they announced the layoffs, got lucky with a company i had been planning to apply for a job at in a few years or so anyways (wanted more general experience under my belt, but layoffs prevented that). got the job right before covid, and while i technically work at another company now, that's still the job i have. 100% work from home now, doing the same stuff, and it's mostly writing emails/scheduling payments/reviewing ledgers/etc.

it pays well and doesn't follow me after work hours, the timing is flexible and i can write or do some gaming on the clock because i tend towards bursts of productivity where i do a lot in an hour then sort of chill for a bit before doing more. i stay on top of my responsibilities so i have a lot of wiggle room since i'm not behind on anything (i only get behind when we swap regions up and i get assigned states that prior analysts didn't properly keep clean, lol, but even then a few weeks of dedicated work gets that shit down easy).

idk man. i'm just rambling about my life, this is stuff i think about a lot, because by god i am thankful things went this direction. even if i do lose this job, i am pretty comfortable in this field now so i feel that i could search within this field to find work that would suit me. i'm getting paid more than i ever would as a teacher or anything else, i have so much flexibility, and i'm even closing on a house (today!).

i still have a lot of worries, i need to save up money again (house deposit) and pay back my parents (house deposit). and i still have huge student loans i'm working on paying that eat up a lot of my monthly income, but im so excited to be paying towards a mortgage instead of rent, and someday my loans will be paid off

[orcelito]

Tfw it's slow enough ur doing some idle reading. And then the health inspector comes in 😭😭😭😭

[ungodly-amounts-of-godly-trauma]

wotw round 1

propaganda under the cut!

will graham:

OMG where do I even start??? A lot of the fandom (not the whole fandom, but a lot of them) are obsessed with Will Graham being traumatized helpless baby boy sub and it's just like… Hello? Did you watch the same show as me?

"Oh no he got his brain caught on fire with encephalitis he needs his big strong psychiatrist Hannibal to take care of him and spoon feed him and protect him from the world"

"Oh he's in love with his friend Alana but she just sees him as a friend and a psychiatric project I just need to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him and protect him from all these people who hurt him"

Like the list goes on and on but guys, come on. Will Graham lives by himself with his 7 dogs and takes care of all of them. He's an FBI agent. HE'S LITERALLY KILLED PEOPLE BOTH WITH HIS BARE HANDS AND WITH WEAPONS. THIS MAN IS A SCRUFFY OUTDOORSMAN WHO'S LIKE 6'0" AND MAYBE NOT BUILT BUT DEFINITELY NOT SCRAWNY AND IN NEED OF PROTECTING. I think a lot of people get caught up in the fact that Will Graham is played by Hugh Dancy and he was very much a "pretty boy" character in a lot of stuff before he played Will Graham and this is also exacerbated by Hannibal being played by Mads Mikkelsen who is "slightly taller rugged silver fox European man who is going to fix my daddy issues" and since Will and Hannibal are the main couple a lot of people are like "well they can't both be big tough top guys so obviously it's the guy who's slightly bigger and buffer and older"

Will Graham is a 38 year old FBI criminal profiler who has killed dangerous people with his bare hands, went to prison for some time, masterfully manipulated others, also hunts and fishes, and he's like very good at reading people and their motivations. Incredibly smart everyday man.

Sweet JESUS sometimes the fandom makes him out to be more of a helpless puppy than he really is. Granted, even if he has his moments of mental vulnerability, it's never treated as weak by the show. He's managed to persist through some of the hardest situations. AND LIKE I GET IT, HE'S REALLY PRETTY WHEN HE'S IN PAIN AND SUFFERING BUT HE'S NOT!!! A BABY!!! Anyway I've seen a lot of fandom takes where he's been twinkified to high hell or portrayed as helpless/submissive and often it entirely diminishes that he's a grown fucking person (who has KILLED AND WILL DO IT AGAIN).

had encephalitis in s1 so everyone calls him sweaty & got framed for murder so when he actually murders people people say it’s not his fault and that he was manipulated into doing so (how do you manipulate someone into putting down a shotgun and beating someone to death with their bare hands when you’re not even there? fuck if i know. also, the manipulator in question (hannibal, his sort of therapist) actively stopped him from killing someone). “someone help will graham” is an actual tag on ao3. people treat him like a child. he is a serial killer and people act like he can’t even feed himself. it’s terrible. will graham is a liar, a murderer, a cannibal, a manipulator, and i love him for it

jason "jd" dean:

shoutout to my lovely friend who knows who they are who talk abt how jd does no wrong and hes so slay when like. he does slay. he did slay. he slayed three whole people. and tried to slay a school. like, jd does a lot of wrong. all he does is wrong. and sometimes the fandom acts like everything he does is super chill and fine and sane, and ignores what he did altogether. like yea christian slater was fit in the movie. yk whats not fit? homocide

hes also treated like an innocent lil baby who can do nothing for himself but im watching the movie rn and he just bashed veronicas head off of an emergency fire hose, and shes apparently the love of his life

[volturiprincess]

Felix volturi with a mate who is type 1 diabetic? I’m really struggling with my diabetes rn and I could use some fluff from my favorite strong man🥺

Him

Felix Volturi x Type 1 diabetic reader

A/N: I hope this gives you the fluff you need, and I hope you are doing better 🫶🏼🥺. I might not know what you are going through but I believe in you . I'll be honest Im not super familiar with this but I have some understanding (currently in school going going for a degree in the medical field actually). But enjoy 💙

(The handsome gentle giant❤️)

“Morning my little rose”

At the sound of my mate's voice, I opened my eyes slowly to be welcomed by his handsome face. He’s so beautiful. He reached a hand out to caress my cheek gently, pure heaven right there with just his touch. I love his gentleness considering how tall and muscular he is it is hard to consider him this with his status as the ‘executor’ of the Volturi, but to me he is so tender and loving.

Still feeling a bit sleepy I responded with a soft “Morning Fe”

He joined me on the bed and pulled me into his arms so my head was resting on his chest. Today was one of those days where I had no energy to do anything. I just want to lay in bed all day and sleep. I sometimes hate feeling like this, I don't like showing Felix this side of me, even if he knows about my diagnosis. I did tell him a bit of what I go through and stuff but it's a struggle sometimes.

“You're having one of those days aren't you?”

I guess he already knows. It's been about 6 months since Felix came into my life and I was told he is my mate. But I have had type 1 for about 2 years already. The only reason he found out was he came to visit me in my house when I was feeling absolutely terrible, he thought I was sick with the flu but I told him the truth. He was very understanding and Demetri told me the next day that Felix spent the whole night reading anything there is to know about how to deal and manage with type 1. And since then my love for him bloomed more. 

“Yea it’s one of those days unfortunately”

���Alright well good thing the masters gave me the day off, i'll be your personal nurse today”

Looking up at him with a lopsided smile and booping his nose with my finger tip

“My handsome vampire nurse to exact”

—------------

Since that morning, Felix has helped with taking a nice bubble bath with my favorite bath bomb that smells like roses and lavender. He even made me an appropriate breakfast, he's managed to get me to enjoy eating cantaloupe over the past couple of months. He's still struggling to get me to eat a banana alone because whenever I chew that fruit I gag and there were times where I did throw up from that weird texture. But he does make me smoothies with that fruit which I do enjoy. And now he is pursuing me into going on a walk with him in the gardens

“Come on cara, if you do get tired, which I understand does happen, we will take a break and I will give you a taste of the Felix care package when you're tired, hmmm?”

To top it off he finished that line with his shark like grin that always makes me weak in the knees. It's impossible to say no to him when he mentions his care package, it includes a massage, hair stroking, and small kisses on every inch of exposed skin that I dare show. 

“Fine, only because I heard that the garden was worked on recently and there are new flowers that I need to see up close but-”

“I got it here already, see?”

I looked at his other side and he had a bag which I can assume had some treats to help with the fatigue and nausea and in his hand he was holding what I can say is the biggest water bottle I have ever seen. 

“What the hell Felix, where did you manage to get such a huge water bottle?”

“I have my ways amore”

He wrapped his large muscular arm around my waist and guided me to the much awaited gardens. As soon as we were close to the gardens I felt myself relax and was surrounded by the smell of different flowers. I picked up on the sweetness of jasminess, the freshness of lavender with a hint of spice which I can assume were the lilies. We walked for a while until I started to feel a bit more weak and my thirst levels increased. Felix as always picked it up and we stopped at a nearby bench that he actually carved many centuries ago. He held the water bottle for me as I drank what I felt was a whole gallon in one sip. 

“Want to hear the story about his bench, amore?”

Not wanting to speak or nod my head from the slowly approaching headache, I gave him a thumbs up that was received by a small smile from him 

“Well I told you some bits of my gladiator days from what I can remember until Aro found me and turned me in. I picked up a hobby soon after I was turned. I always thought the arts were a fascinating topic, and with Master Caius' influence, I focused on sculpting. My first couple of attempts were not ... .good” he smiled with an  embarrassed look “ With my state of being more abnormally stronger as a newborn handling small tools in my large hands to carve ... .well you can already guess my issue. With this bench it took many attempts to master, I would switch between a variety of chiseling tools until I noticed just using my hands worked best, so I actually built this with my bare hands, I wanted to add a bit of architecture inspiration from the Colosseum, which is why the legs of this are like that.”

The way he explained his story was so adorable, some of the things I picked up about Felix is when he talks about something he is passionate about he gets a twinkle in his eyes. He smiles more than he already does but the way he explains things he went through makes me feel like I was there with him as the events happened. I soon noticed after his story my headache was gone. 

“Fe, can I tell you something?”

“Always my little rose”

“I don't tell you this enough but I really do appreciate you, I love that you are in my life, I thought I would become a burden to you but with you, you make me feel so special and loved, I love you my handsome giant”

I never said the L word to him so this was a first for him to hear.

“Oh cara, I think I just fell in love with you all over again, just hearing you say that makes my undead heart flip, with you I feel complete with as what is left my humanity, I love you mi amore”

Damn that giant, some small tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks which he wiped away with his thumb. He leaned in and placed a light kiss on my forehead that can speak thousands of words. 

[toxicanonymity]

im online training at a new job and it is.. going terribly(socially). there’s this manager (out of four) that’s pretty much threatening to revoke my contract at every point, even when other trainees are doing worse than I am. im on the fence but everyone around me is saying she’s singling me out/bullying me, probably because I am literally the youngest person here by far (the next youngest person is 29, im 18)

need a Joel to just. let me be brain dead and boneless. kiss my nose and then kiss my pussy till i fall asleep. sometimes, you just can’t do it properly yourself, and (stepdad? vampire?) joel genuinely gets a bit miffed and just does it for you instead. like just lay on your back, spread your thighs, and feel. n then maybe fall asleep on ur comedown. but for me rn- the daydream is a joel that im not in a relationship with, and he just.. hears the stress. sees the stress. decides to come in at some point and sort it out himself. so he knows it’s been done properly

Sorry about your work. But your thots. . . yes PLEASE!!! Oh my god how I needed something like this the other day. this sounds like thighs out behavior because his approach was similar in spirit in his first fic --Sky's out, thighs out. He knows you're having a bad day, comes on over to you on the pool deck where you're just lying there. he takes control to make it easy on you (just tells you to say stop if you don't want it). But whatever Joel you'd like to imagine -

braindead / stressed, joel helps I8+

Let's say you're practically catatonic lying on your bed, after a good cry. Once you're done crying, Joel knocks lightly on the door, which is already cracked open, so his light knock opens it. You glance up but don't say anything. He asks, "want me to leave ya 'lone?" and you shake your head no but don't acknowledge him in any other way. He lays down next to you, doesn't try to get you to talk. He just kisses you lightly on the cheek, on the nose, on your sternum. He puts his hand between your legs and ghosts your clit over your clothes. You whimper softly but give no other sign of awareness. He gently pulls off your clothes like you're a doll, unmoving. You're not helping him, but not resisting. "ain't gonna help? s'alright, baby'."

He gently spreads your feet and gets between your thighs. He traces them lightly with his fingertips, sliding down to your inner thighs, getting closer and closer to where they meet. Then he gently fingers you while he gropes a breast with his other hand. He takes a deep breath that's practically a growl as he adjusts himself. Then he scoots back, brings his mouth between your legs, and kisses your pussy. He goes at it gently, then his arousal takes over and he's latched on for dear life, spreading his hands all over you, not expecting anything in return, not even expecting you to writhe or be vocal as you normally might, because he can tell you're just spent. As you come he's moaning into your cunt, humping the bed, possibly coming in his pants. Once you finish coming, he gets a hold of himself. His voice is soft, "that feel good?" and you just barely nod. He wipes off his mouth and lays next to you, draping his arm heavily over your waist. "ok if I nap with ya?" then he falls asleep with you, content that it's been done properly.

[youredreamingofroo]

Goodbye? I don't think so. I hope not. A very, very long rant about storage (🙄), simblr and whatever the fuck else I go on about for a few paragraphs. Skip to the end at the gold text for a more.... "definitive" answer. Especially if you want to skip the nitty gritty and sappy wappy.

i dont know what to do anymore, I freed up 18 GBs of space it all managed to go down the drain in literally an hour, Im moving my blender things to my external HDD, because that alone is 20 GBs (because of Scene sizes), I just hate to free up the space because I dont want it to go right back down. This all sucks cuz I really really enjoy being on Simblr, but sims 4 just continues to be a nuisance, whether its actual problems or its storage problems, it just always finds a way, every year, to get me to suddenly decide that im retiring until my next bout of Sims 4 hyperfixation. I love all of you guys and I love seeing how you all enjoy my work, and what I do, and I love seeing your stuff, you all make such amazing creations, granted if I stopped playing TS4, it wouldnt mean I have to stop interacting on simblr, it just wouldnt be the same. A pattern I notice anytime I start a social media platform, is that something always finds its way into completely demotivating me from posting, whether it's just literal lack of motivation, depression, realizing a project is too vast for me, storage problems, it's always something and it's always when I finally get comfortable or happy on a platform, especially after making friends, not that im saying my friends are one of the reasons I leave, thats far from it. I REALLY dont wanna take a break from Sims 4, I really really genuinely wanna start posting my story (W.A.S), but I'm not like a Sims 4 youtuber, I can't remain dedicated to one game, I play other games, I wanna play the Witcher games (or at least try to play them, I kinda suck rn), I wanna finish Detroit become human, I want to 100% Beyond two souls (and DBH), I wanna finish Disco elysium (started and never fucking finished 💀), I want to play Baldur's Gate 3, I mean, I purchased it at full price and I can't even play the game??... 😮‍💨 You get the point. At this point I wouldn't consider this a "goodbye," note, not... necessarily? I just get so frustrated having no storage, not to mention the fact that I need storage to literally do the stuff I do, like make edits, make poses, make renders, so the fact that I can't even do that, is just like... what's the point of even having Sims 4 anymore at that point? But I don't wanna leave simblr, I don't want to stop creating. It's funny, as I write this, I continue to give myself more and more of a reason to leave, the only real thing that's stopping me is just the fact that there's so many nice people here, I know that if I stopped playing the sims 4, I'd probably move onto another game (BG3................,,,,,..) and leave tumblr, or, at least leave Simblr. Which as I (think) said before, that's sad, I'd be sad, I'd miss people like Lori (groovetrys) and Lauren (miralure), June (circusjuney), Jade (gamyrmaiden), Anna (holocene-sims), butter (buttertrait), Fae (acuar-io), Verco (vercosims) and god, so many others, and sorry to break the atmosphere suddenly, but as I'm writing this, I'm listening to "In another life," from Everything everywhere all at once and it's making this very emotional for me, so if it gets sappy I apologize.

And I guess to be... insanely honest, as much as I want to release my story (trust me, I REALLY want to), I'm slowly beginning to realize more and more how not-easy it's gonna be to make scenes, writing it is fine for me, its just setting up the scenes feels like i'm forbidden to a life of staring at a bunch of words (pose names) trying to figure out what's what, where is what, what to do, where is where, who is who, who is what, how is what, how and why, need I continue. Storytelling is so insanely important to me, I believe that despite how little I read and despite how terrible of a student I have been, and despite how poor my literature skills are, that storytelling is still so important, fuck it, poetry has been such an inspiration for me, but I don't fucking know how to write poetry?? I can barely understand poetry at times, but it's still all so beautiful to me, the concept and the fact that people use metaphors so meticulously to create an allegory for something beautiful, or traumatic or sad, like in not so berry, the concept of an ocean being alexanders "love," and cataleya drowning in it, and her realizing she's drowning in his "love," but when she wants to leave, she really wonders if she actually wants to leave, to conceptualize and create this awful relationship in the means of an ocean is so... well, not beautiful in a reality sense, but in a technical/literary sense, it's beautiful, it's expression, and THATS what im passionate about. Remember what I said about getting sappy? Yea, sorry about that. After a while, I wonder what good repeating myself does, I've said about 5 or 6 times that I don't want to leave, yet here I am, with the mouse over the uninstall button like an idiot about to press the big "DON'T TOUCH" button, perhaps it's the idea that after repeating myself over and over again, that maybe I'll make up my mind, do I do a coin flip? I never listen anyways, I always continue to flip until it lands on what I like. So... why am I still writing? To be honest, I should've stopped by now, but you can only stop a dam so much before it all comes out. I do this with my friends, when I'm sad, I pour my heart out until it's a repetitive and overcooked version of "I'm sad." I write paragraph after paragraph and I literally could've just said "I don't have storage. Considering leaving simblr," and the same message would've gotten across, and I apologize, if you're still reading this, for making such a lengthy post, but I couldn't quite help spilling a bit of water everywhere, although I guess now my little puddle of water has become a flood. I use metaphors a lot, I apologize... again.

So what does all this bullshit that I typed out mean?

I don't know. I wonder the same myself, I'm fighting a battle more fierce than the one I had with my period last week, "Do I uninstall Sims 4 so I can have more freedom, and enjoy more content? or do I continue this rigorous battle of needing storage for the sake of a tumblr page, my enjoyment for writing and other shit I do in the sims 4?" I cannot say I will take a hiatus, because I will procrastinate, and I will forget completely about posting, and tumblr in general. I do still, at the very least, want to release my Official Teaser for my story, whether it be my last post or not, and at the very least, I want to introduce you to the characters, whether it be my last post(s) or not. Not to mention the fact that I want to continue sharing about Roo even if it's not about sims 4 anymore, I mean hell, I haven't even finished off the Leo and Roo part of his timeline.

For an INCREDIBLY watered down answer on whether or not this is goodbye, I say to you, not in this moment, not definitive enough for you yeah? Well, that's the thing, I don't have a definitive answer, you could fucking tear apart this entire college essay mat-pat style, and still not have a definitive fucking answer, and that's because I don't, sorry to all the people who don't want to listen to me rant or who want a clear answer, but I just don't have one. I've been known to make impulsive and on the whim (when I'm really emotional) decisions, and this is a situation where I don't want to do that, because I care about what I have here with ya'll.

If this ends up being one of my last posts, I bid you all adieu, I love you all, and I thank you so so so much for the laughs, and for the mutual connection we may or may not have had, I do not know if I'll make any actual posts for the next few days as I consider my decision, I will float around of course and continue reblogging this and that, and commenting and liking, etc etc. There's also a chance I may wake up tomorrow and look at this and think I was just being overly emotional about this stuff, and that now I look like an idiot, which is the case 9 times out of 10.

[choiraugur]

So you've mentioned that you like all the Soulsborne games, not just Bloodborne, but which Soulsborne was your first exposure to the series? What made you want to check them all out, and what is your favorite thing about them (each individually or in general as they also have reoccurring themes? nobody trolls people in power like they do xd) .

Also I can't forget you asking me about Creighton so I assume you like DS2 as well (rare but huge W in these trying times vvhjgjjg). Who are your DS2 favs? 🌛

I need you to know that I had to pause for like one hour after getting this ask because I got so excited to respond to it that I couldn’t think straight enough to properly manage a reply with actual words. in fact what I’ve written down here isn’t as eloquent or articulate as id want it to be but. autism works in funny ways so the best I can do rn is say words and giggle to myself with glee

im putting the reply under a cut bc it’s long af also lmao

the first dark souls was my initial exposure to the series as a whole! I got into it some years ago but I don’t think I was as invested in it then as I am now. I’ve always loved the themes of the series and the gameplay was, despite all the frustration, very fun and engaging so I wanted to check out more souls games after it. Dsi remains my favourite game of all time along with bloodborne btw! I would blame it on nostalgia but honestly the game really does have so much to offer. dark souls i meatriding is very cliche but there’s a good reason for that yk. Nothing teaches you patience like dark souls. (this game also has one of my two favourite characters of all time, gwyndolin! they managed to create a transgender allegory that speaks so closely to me- from familial expectations to the desire to be seen and recognised by the family that constantly neglects you and shames you for your very existence to the point where your identity ceases to exist because you are trying so desperately to belong. you try to forge yourself into the perfect shape but the core of the problem lies not in the shape of your identity, but your very existence. the unending cultist devotion to the people who made your life hell because this is all you have. I love gwyndolin so much)

I moved to dark souls ii after and honestly loved it (and still love it) very much. I feel like people give it too much shit and criticise it too quickly because of its reputation, which is a shame because it has so much to offer. The lore is so rich and the gameplay can get so fun if you just give it a chance. I agree that the start is difficult, but isn’t this true with every new fromsoft game you play? The thing I really love about soulsborne games is that there is a learning curve. Absolutely anybody can finish these games even if they are a terrible gamer because of the fact there is a learning curve. And sure it’s a frustrating one a lot of the time, but when you get comfortable enough with the mechanics and become more confident in playing, the experience becomes so so fun and rewarding. The estus problems people always complain about at the beginning of the game honestly stop being a noticeable issue after you discover items that help you replace this bother. I can 100% see why somebody would dislike dsii because it unfortunately went through developement hell, but I do believe that 98% of the time people judge this game too quickly and too harshly just because of the negative reputation it has. It sucks that they don’t give it a chance. I’ve seen so many people have an opinion on it (always a bleak one) without even playing it themselves also which is so dumb. At least play it man. Idk. It gets the second-installation-in-a-series curse I guess. dsii fans need to stick together and call it the best game oat to piss everyone else off

i got into bloodborne after dsi and dsii, i think I started playing bloodborne in mid 2021? Not that long ago but it has been my absolute favourite thing in the world ever since. SO much about it has kept me around because it manages to cater to so many of my general special interests lol. I’ve always loved cosmic horror and the victorian era of medicine. religion (and how those in power can use religion to control the masses) is another thing i always end up getting fixated on, so bloodborne was just the perfect thing for me. I love the themes! And characters! And designs! And gameplay mechanics! The world building! Everything is so so good. The thing that has mainly kept me around so intensely is how important exploration and personal interpretation is with this game. this is honestly my favourite thing about all spulsborne games actually- fromsoft never gives you any direct answers, and we are still finding new things about bloodborne several years after its release which is insane. It has just an endless amount of things to offer, I can’t say ENOUGH about it. I could write pages upon pages on why I love bloodborne so much, it’s difficult to keep my answer here concise. All I can say is it consumes my every thought every second of the day. Very good.

Dsiii was the last soulsborne game i got into (not fromsoft tho, that was elden ring, which i somehow only got into on august of 2023) i love dsiii because i love the dark souls series so so much in general, but for some reason it’s my least favourite out of all spulsborne games. The story and bosses are all super cool and i loved the conclusion it provided for the series, but it’s the one i find the least entertaining? or not the least entertaining, but it’s the one I think about the least. maybe it’s because i still kind of experience it as a. second version of bloodborne since i played bloodborne before ds3 lol. which is an unfair judgement but I can’t let go of that feeling it gives me for some reason. great game but I end up fixating more on the others fsr

navlaan is my favourite character in ds2 also! i love a little fucked up sorcerer. I need more grey thinking. good and bad mean nothing in the name of acquiring knowledge. nuance is required to understand navlaan and its why I often avoid reading stuff about him lol.

I’m realising my response to your ask focuses more on just my personal experience with the games rather than what it is within them that I love, I didn’t really get into detail about that at all lol but. I already said so much 💀

[arunneronthird]

hi hello!! i'm super interested in getting into midnighter comics, do you have any recommendations for where to get started?? your recs have been so helpful for my comics journey so far, i truly owe you my life 🙏 just read the knight thanks to your suggestion and LOVED it, court of owls is up next

well okay this ask just made my whole day what the hell, this is what i like about comics the most, just sharing and talking about them

anyway, from the top, theres this superhero team in a world without jl, they work for the un and they are called stormwatch!

the first stormwatch comic is stormwatch 1993, i tried to read it and its genuinely awful, BUT some time after it starts, warren ellis takes over and hes genuinely a new type of god and fixes the whole thing but full disclosure i havent read it properly cause the start is so bad

the second stormwatch is stormwatch 1997, also written by ellis (saver of worlds) where midnighter and apollo (do not separate) make their first appearance! its an incredibly solid introduction and it goes from chapter #4 to #6, u can skip the rest, wont lose much context

now we start with the big guns, stormwatch is dismantled and the authority is created, a superhero (antihero) team working outside the law, and it starts with the authority 1999, where midnighter (and apollo do not separate) are finally main characters, i genuinely loved this comic so much SO MUCH

the story continues with the authority 2003, which im currently reading and is not by ellis (patron of writers), so i cannot tell u yet how itll work out but im enjoying it thus far

then (cause i havent read more stuff in between yet) comes midnighter 2007, this one is complicated? the first 10 chapters are extremely fun and enjoyable, basically episodic, mostly written by garth ennis (not quite as godly but pretty nice), then a new guy picks up the series, makes a whole saga with no apollo in it and its terrible so just... just drop it on chapter 10 ill allow it

then the n52 happens and its v confusing and scary

but then we have midnighter 2015, i have good and bad news, the bad news is its a grayson 2014 spinoff so u may be a bit lost on some context but the good news is this comic is REALLY good, its fun, its a finished story, its midnighter learning to be a person and not a killing machine, and its one of my favorite comics as of rn

lastly theres midnighter and apollo 2016 and like... i went to my bookstore to order a physical copy yesterday i am so in love with it, its aesthetically beautiful and the story is insane, basically midnighter goes to hell to save apollo but apollo is already doing a pretty good job cause hes freaking apollo

as a bonus, there are three small stories, the authority: kev, the authority: more kev and the authority: the magnificent kevin all written by ennis about a guy called kevin who actively sucks as a person and how he manages to fuck up everything all the time and piss off midnighter to no end, they are hilarious

as a disclaimer of sorts: midnighters stories, specially the ones by ellis and ennis, are comics for adults in a way batmans arent, batman is dark and sometimes scary, but these comics talk about sex, drug adiction, racism, bigotry and make fun of them, i do bow for them though, they are gritty and pretty edgy but not tasteless

[decadentmousse]

What is rogue trader about?? Every post i see from you about it im like 👀

Well, first of all, it's a Warhammer 40k game. idk how familiar with you are with the setting, but that should give you some idea of its overall flavor. (I only knew a bit about Warhammer 40k via friend osmosis before I played this game, so it's been a wild experience lmao)

But what Rogue Trader specifically is about is you inheriting a sort of merchant dynasty from a distant relative after she has an…… accident..... and since you didn't even know you were related to this woman until the start of the game, your character is super ill-prepared to suddenly be put in charge of anything, much less managing the economies of the literal planets (plural!) that you now find yourself owning.

And of course, since this is a role-playing game, all manner of other bullshit decides to happen at the same time that this happens to you.

A terrible cult is on the loose and spreading all over the place. Before you even fully figure out what's going on with all that, some bdsm space elves show up and start stealing suns and just harassing you and your people in general. So basically you go around exploring various planets doing both major quests and sidequests and solving various problems (including your party members' personal problems, of course 😂) while trying to figure out what the hell is going on, like, on a grander scale.

I honestly love it a lot and I've been having a blast. I'm already planning my second playthrough and I'm not even done with the first one yet.

One thing I will say, though, is that it's kinda glitchy still rn. Before I got the game, I saw a lot of people saying it was so glitchy that it was borderline unplayable and, honestly, that hasn't been my experience. I'm like halfway through Act 4 (out of I think 5) and have had some issues but nothing life-ruining or game-breaking. BUT I also can acknowledge that maybe I've just gotten lucky? So you know, your mileage may vary djfklsfjs (Also they've been working really hard on patching the worst of the glitches, so I'm confident that a lot of the problems will be fixed in the next couple of months.)

[wngweis]

nah, i genuinely love riize, i really do. been there with them since very predebut, and just when all this time i thought i might be a wonbin simp, i just don’t see the group full without seunghan. my will for hyping any mememer rn is at such low and very strange place. it’s like im missing something so much. like im happy for them, but seunghan not being part of his own group, who is deserving of all of this as much, is making me sad. i truly don’t see riize as riize without him. or at least for now, i don’t. maybe they will grow out of it if SM decides to really kick him out and we won’t really dwell much in the future, given we tend to move on from things/people but the reality is just too, overly too sad rn. and im truly feeling it even more as days go by. like cutting out a person out of a picture. like sm is trying to erase him out of my memory. like brainwash me as if he has never been there. yeah, as i said, i feel the emptiness more & more day by passing day. like why would you kick someone on no basis but doing basic human things, things like all of my friends in high school used to do. the whole situation is base-less and inhuman, truly even evil, bc some ill, bored mfs on the internet one day decided to ruin someone life, aside from dreams, which make em basically piss on someone’s past efforts and patience all those years they invest into something. they take a completely normal person, stick some negatives to them, and basically label them for life. like it’s soo utterly wrong.

& how, imao, the whole situation is dictated by solely kfans and non k fans, natizens, so if he gets kicked out, they win. like sm is very on the edge about these things. always been! sm cares for reputation to a point they will drag clearing someone’s name until the heat over the person is over and the matter is no longer a hot topic. even then, they will do nothing. but then they will also push an artist even if they do so many wrong things, but ofc they will do that bc most of the domestic public don’t see any problem with that artist. international and inland fans are two complete subjects, and sm has never leaned on the first imao. or at least in my whole time as an *sm stan* saying this purely cos of the fact that most of the artists i listen to and have been following thru the years re under sm

anywayss, all of this truly feeds into my misery, discouragement and overall negative thinking, even though riize themselves truly seem like are giving as much subtle hints as possible, & do as much as they can manage, to make it seen that they too miss him, and that seunghan is unapologetically part of them and that riize is no complete riize without him.

i truly like to believe this. and i truly hope justice and humanity prevail over evil this time. i hope things turn around and sm finally do one thing right. it’s about time they do. im sick of how they handle their artists. it’s actually scary how easy are kpop companies to throw their artists under a bus. the exact moment they are done w them, they will drag an artist down completely. even push them into the much bigger gutter. that of course after they have milked all of what they could possibly have. the system is crooked and terrible. it’s making me sick.

[jiminrings]

MAYBE ME

Dearest Hannah,

I write this review in response to the beautiful piece that you have bestowed upon us all.. With this review, I bring along a silly little twist.. For I find myself heated in the waves of boredom as the end of the year approaches yet again.

Maybe me with our beloved Minnie.. As you always have - for many years, days and hours to come - a masterpiece you have created. With everything that you have written being ever so stunning, you’d think I’d find myself used to the beauty of what is to come after. But, beauty will always be beauty.

I’m sure I have said this before.. However, I shall utter it again.. Your characters manage to feel so human, I can feel them walk out of my screen and come to life before me. They are never perfect but they are never too terrible to a fault. I find that most if not all authors struggle to encapsulate that in their stories. That humanly (not a word - I know) aspect that a human possesses. You, nevertheless.. have managed to do so with ease.

Whenever I plunge into a world of your creation, I find myself lost.. Wanting to continue until the last letter stares hauntingly back at me. And even as that approaches, I often find myself still stuck in a world with those characters - for that was how much of an impact they have had on me.

Anyhow.. Maybe Me Minnie.. He’s such a loveable father, friend and human, isn’t he? I am deeply enamoured by how you portray him as a father who is willing to do anything to help his daughter even if it is through the means of stealing. Yet, you do not glorify the act of stealing itself - in a way, conveying.. Jimin’s intentions are out of love, but his actions should not be tolerated.

With that, we are able to perceive how desperate he is.. To steal from someone he cares for, after all. It’s a truly heart-wrenching scenario if you ponder on it. It’s a situation where you can’t really begin to point fingers at one being or another. A situation in which, you are transferred to a box that pressures you to question your morals. Do you blame the desperate father for trying to keep his daughter’s life afloat? Do you blame the willing victim who refuses to confront the perpetrator? Or perhaps neither of them is at fault? Or.. Are they both simply two pudding heads who are equally at fault?

Y/N.. I see myself in her a lot.. If I were to be in her place, I’d let Jimin’s crime go hidden too.. On the other hand, her character is just all the way very much well-rounded. She contradicts the cliche aspects of what you would expect of a person of her social status. You’d imagine her cold, rude and obnoxious like all those silly dramas out there would normally make of her. And I love that she doesn’t.. She has my heart for that!

Yuri.. cutie pie

Yoongi.. grumpy sugar cube..

And as this review is, unfortunately, coming to a halt due to my need for sleep, I would like to thank you for being such an amazing author.. Good night (on my side at least - 10:26 pm - he he) Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, And Have a wonderful wonderful day and rest of the week!

💜 Happy Holidays 💜

my fluffy </3 im gonna tell u upfront rn that you’ve cheered me up immensely just now so thank u so much!! 💗💗 i can’t thank you enough for even being here w me in the first place… n for u to send this ask to me means so much more than you could imagine <3 thank you for letting my words (and myself by extension) stay with you. u give me so much inspo to keep writing <3 i love ur take on mm and i’m glad that u can see yourself in oc <3 thank you and i love u!! happy holidays n i hope 2023 treats you warmly and happily 💗💗

[9990zara]

vent because i had a terribly stressful day under the cut for your convinience

it all started as soon as i opened my eyes LMAO i missed my alarm and i had to leave even earlier than the ass crack of dawn because of some bullshit. said bullshit is that my parent's car broke down (mood) so my oldest brother lent us one of his, but we had to drive him to work (because of more bullshit im too lazy to explain rn). so we had to drive 30km to pick him up. then like 10 km more to drive him to work. surprisingly the last 10km were the problem, as the morning traffic jam was in full force. usually i intentionally leave a lot of leeway in the morning so i dont stress out but guess what!! fridays are the day i have my only 100%-attendance-or-you-fail, outside-of-campus-so-we-use-the-bus, touch-grass-for-REAL-knowledge 8:30 class!!!!!!! so i couldn't be even a minute late or the bus would leave without me!!!! and i, a complete FOOL, miscalculated and told myself i would just take the bus on the way back from my brother's work. well my dad just had to go through the worst street in the fucking city so that i regretted all my life choices ^^ i ended up making it just as the bus was leaving, but i took like 75 emotional damage lmaoo.

class went surprisingly fine all things considered, including the fact that i HATE this course but i need it to graduate. it involves a lot of tracking through the mud, using all things pesticide and chemical, and rabbits eating last week's work. but my uni friend is delightful and her presence is like a balm, so i powered through. normally when this class is over i go straight home, but today my dad asked my middle brother and i to go look at cars with him, so downtown i went. we had a tasty but too-big-for-me lunch so i was happy but sleepy and with a tummy ache. when my arm started acting up for no reason at all, forcing me to take meds to Feel Normal. great! chronic pain is such a delight you know!!

looking at cars wasnt too bad, but we had to wait for my dad's friend, so we did a bunch of things, among those drop off my middle brother at uni, pick up my mom and my oldest brother. all nice and cool until my dad's friend decided to not show up, and my mom and oldest brother were so thoroughly stressed out for some work matters they did not elaborate on that their presence turned the air acidic. we went to drop off my oldest brother, and then spent like 40 minutes there as i tried to convince my mom to go because my middle brother was waiting for us. also my nephew is sick and it's never nice to see him like that, he's a lot like me at his age (constantly sick and fussy).

after we managed to leave and go pick uo my brother to finally go home (day started at 6am, its 6:30pm at this point) we go in only to find it stinky and messy because my oldest brother's dog (who we have been looking after. and he still hasn't picked up for some reason???) got into the cat litter to eat cat poop. because she likes to eat poop for some reason!! so its cleaning time. and my middle brother tried to push his ONLY chore (feed the dogs) on me who was doing my own chores LMAO.

so now im lying down for the first time today. its currently 8:20. i have to go wash my clothes, clean my bedroom, pack a bag because i have a forced trip this weekend, eat dinner, convince my groupmates to work on our graded assignment so i can do mine, have dinner, study a little maybe, and sleep early because of the trip. yay!!!!1!!1!1!1!!

[knight-kasa-official]

sorry. i literally created a whole au with a shit ton of lore just to have an excuse to make a knight kasa blog

blog runner: @dreamblues

tags:

ic: tsukasa

ooc: mun

ship: (insert ship here)

rp blog masterlist

eh fuck it im getting straight into the lore

there is literally so much to unpack here so for now i'll only focus on whats going on with tsukasa here specifically

so this is a blog for an au version of tsukasa that. well. became a knight. before this he was a pianist who played for a crowd but he had a dream to become a knight and follow in his dad's footsteps

he was able to pull this off successfully, but this is unfortunately what causes him to stop visiting saki

because his dad was once a knight and a captain of the royal guard, tsukasa and saki were able to visit the castle sometimes back when they were kids. they both happen to befriend toya, who is the prince of the aoyagi kingdom (my apologies i do Not have the energy to come up with an actual name)

this becomes relevant as he ends up becoming one of his bodyguards alongside akito and mizuki. hes the one who's the closest to toya due to the fact they're childhood friends

he reunites with saki when she bursts into the castle with ichika to speak of a vision she received from the celestial divinity, who is supposed to be a god that rules over the stars in this particular universe. there is a bit of a strain between them, but they push it aside to warn everyone else. the king does Not take this well and tries to arrest saki, but tsukasa and ichika manage to save her

everyone gets split into two groups: saki runs away with tsukasa and ichika for her own safety so they can figure out how to avert a terrible future. akito, mizuki, and toya are traveling together to ask for help from two other kingdoms (one belonging to the otoris and the other belonging to the asahinas)

at some point they encounter a mysterious girl who has no memory of her own life except the name miku. so they call the amnesiac girl miku. they take her with them and soon, they encounter a mage named rui, who seems to have a rather bad reputation

their journey takes a new turn when miku notices that rui seems to be in possession of five sea shells she happens to recognize. she then speaks of a lost town she remembers, and their new goal is to reach the lost town miku speaks of in the hopes of helping her regain her memories. rui ends up tagging along

there's more stuff that happens but this is all thats relevant for this tsukasa rn

[iamyelling]

finally updated my portfolio over the weekend. got rejected from the job i updated it for my application for. but i've been applying to jobs like crazy now. hope one hires me soon and gets me out of this pit im in

h8 this job i have rn its terrible. no design team to speak of. no design awareness. chaos and constant emergencies. unreasonable deadlines that are unclear whether they are real or fake. no communication regarding what is needed from me. no project manager so its all on me to track everything. just utter chaos. and theyre like 'its a startup' bitch this company has been around at least a decade so wtf. nah its not a startup anymore. its tech yeah but not a damn startup.

like. its ruined my life and my mental health over the course of the months ive been workign with them. and i'm not even working full time. its sucking up all of my time and i'm not working even remotely full hours. so wtf am i doing all day. wtf is going on. like im literally a part time contractor it should not be like this!!! its insanely stressful and i am on the edge of quitting.

its also tough bc its like am i crazy and just a bad employee. do i just need to get my shit together whats going on maybe its me and everythign is fine and im a baby whiny child and its just not perfect. maybe its so close to being good and i just need to stick it out.

but i dont think so i think its just a fucking nonsense mess

idk am i just stupid. maybe im just fucking stupid. and lazy. who fucking knows. whats the truth.