#im just really pleased rn

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[im-still-watching-anime]

apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB

apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally

[mothsartart]

i can’t believe you’d make me go into space, guillermo

[kkoct-ik]

IT'S FINISHED! I'VE FINISHED IT!

for the past few months i've been putting together a guide for writers looking to make OCs who suffer from DID, since i have a personal investment in good representation and an absurd amount of autism. and today it is FINISHED!!

it's gone up on my neocities, but i really wanted to post about it too.

here's the link

please check it out / bookmark it / share it if you're interested! if just one person finds this useful and makes art from it all my hours of hyperfixation will be worth. ok. love you

[cerealmonster15]

i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent

[yikes-ajax]

I dont have a clever and witty sarcastic comment tonight, I just think she's cute

[corvuskcorvus]

Ill never forgive the undertale fandom about what they did to alphys. Like she is one if not the most mischaracterized character in undertale.

NO SHE IS NOT JUST AN ANNOYING PRICK WHO IS **EEEVILLLL** BECAUSE OF THE DETERMINATION EXPERIMENTS AND BECAUSE OF HOW SHE LIED TO YOU

NO SHE IS NOT JUST UNDYNE'S WEIRD WEEB GIRLFRIEND

NO YOU CANT JUST ERASE HER FROM THE GAME. SHUT UP SANS DID NOT DO THE DETERMINATION EXPERIMENT. SHUT. SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHHHHH

SHE IS A VERY COMPLEX AND WELL WRITTEN CHARACTER WHO CLEARLY SHOWS GUILT ABOUT WHAT SHE DID IN HER EXPERIMENTS, WHO CLEARLY HAS GOOD INTENTIONS IN HER ACTIONS, WHO CLEARLY IS INSECURE ABOUT HERSELF AND LIES BECAUSE OF THAT, WHO CLEARLY HAS ALOT OF MENTAL ISSUES GOING ON THAT AFFECT HER, WHO CLEARLY CARES ABOUT PEOPLE, WHO CLEARLY IS VERY INTELLIGENT AND SMART, WHO CLEARLY HAS ISSUES WITH SOCIALIZING AND INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE AND I HATE HOW THE FANDOM FORGETS ABOUT ALL OF THAT.

AND NO I DONT CARE THAT YOU THINK HER CALLS ARE ANNOYING. THATS A FUCKING HORRIBLE REASON TO HATE HER.

[saltyyetbland]

ngl im fucking terrified of how the fandom will act when the asian ccs get added and they are confronted with asian customs such as honorifics, asian cultural norms, and the language itself (ie words that are common in one language that sounds like a slur in another) and i know most of the fandom will be open and welcoming but idk im probably being way too pessimistic as someone who is asian and has seen the bs that people can spew esp regarding things like stereotypes

[puppyeared]

started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki

[seawing-vibes]

Some sillay doodles!! Qinterwatcher + trans jade-winglet doodles <3 I tend to do these silly (very off model & probably real out of character) jade winglet doodles as warm ups & cool downs after bigger drawings !! They’re fun to do

[skitskatdacat63]

I would commit murder to see the interview these pictures are from

[omgcatboi]

I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

[cat-downthestreet]

seriously why does no one mention this??? the information is so easy to find too like are y'all forgetting on purpose or was I not supposed to give a crap about the opinion of one of the main writers for the series 💀

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

HII just wanna let u know i cant stop thinking abt poppy and sally (and laughingstock ofc) and its ur fault!!! i love them sm!! ur brain is huge!!

!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!

[kayden-i-guess]

HE HAS A GUN LETS GOOOOOOO!!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[witchqueen]

Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?

I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice