#im just quickly posting this cause my mutuals have already seen it

[awwthenticc]

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.

[mshroom1e]

Hi! Could i request Ortho finding out that Idia's online friend and eventually crush is the reader? And eventually he tries to matchmake them?

Hello!! Sorry for disappearing for a whole 2 weeks 💀 I've been busy with life and I ended up writing this fic way longer than I ppanned to. I hope you don't mind! Also, I got really stuck on some parts and wasn't sure which direction to go with the story. Apologies if it feels a little rushed.

Pr0ject Cupid | Idia x GN! Reader

type: fanfic

Summary: A pair of painfilly awkward people get set up by a member of the said pair's little brother.

5.8k words

tags: silly fluff, mutual crushing

Warning(s): very mild swearing

no way u acc saw me

bruh i couldve seen you with my eyes closed

you dumbass u just contradicted yourself

no shit

im gonna shave your eyebrows

...

Idia stifled a laugh and couldn't hide the cheesy grin that grew on his face as his eyes read over the pixelated letters on his monitor. About 3 weeks ago, he met you on a random server, and you instantly clicked. He wasn't one to form bonds with people so quickly, whether it was online or in person, but with you, how could he resist?

You got along like Q and W on a keyboard, plus you always reciprocated his nerdy comments and never got the wrong idea about any of his intentions. The only problem was, however, that you had no idea who each other were irl.

So, one day, Idia got curious about who you really were. He ended up searching for you on Magicam using the username he knew you by. There wasn't really much he was expecting as people usually used different names for their social media compared to the more nerdy online stuff.

Idia nearly fell out of his chair when a search result popped up, and a profile with quite a few posts showed up. It was you. There was no way it wasn't you.

His heart began beating faster than usual just at reading your captions, posts of your random thoughts, and the pictures you posted. You were definitely cute, maybe the prettiest person Idia had ever seen. Even though your facial features were pixelated, you somehow managed to make them look soft and warm, like an angelic version of yourself. There were also many pictures of foods you made in the Ramshackle Dorm, selfies with your friends, and a few pictures with Grim.

Okay, now Idia was panicking. He'd never felt the way he felt right now, but from the way his heart was running a marathon and he could feel warmth slowly creeping up his face, there was only one explanation. The description matched how the characters in dating sims would feel, and this was bad. He couldn't have a cru- no no no, a c-word. No way! He didn't even want to think of the word because it would only solidify his predicament in his head.

From his panic, his finger slipped and accidentally liked one of your posts. Idia's eyes widened as he saw the damage he'd already done as his brain went into full panick mode. There was no way to undo it, even if he un-liked the post. The notification must've already gotten to your phone and you would've noticed most likely and you'd block him, think he was a stalker and never speak to him again then he'd be become even more emo and-

He changed from his usual question mark posture in his chair to sitting in a fetal position in the corner of his room, hoping for the atoms in his body to slowly merge into the wall.

His phone in his pocket vibrated, and when Idia pulled out the device to see what the notification was, his heart nearly collapsed on itself. A flinch of his arm caused his phone to be launched across his room, and for some reason, he jumped to catch it, landing on a large, disorganised pile of manga with a loud crash. He hastily unlocked his phone to see what the alert was.

'Your EP has been restored!'

Damn.

There was a smooth sliding of the door to Idia's dorm room. Ortho stood? floated? levitated? at the entrance with a confused, yet worried expression in the visible part of his face.

"Idia? I heard a loud crash, and I was worried you got injured," Ortho floated closer to his brother.

"I'm f-fine!" Idia yelped.

'Hair tinted pink, increasing heart rate, flushed cheeks,'

Ortho's eyes drifted over to Idia's several monitors until he focused on a certain one.

"Yuu's Magicam profile?"

The little robot pieced two and two together before he said, "Oh, you like [Name], don't you?"

-

This was a really, really, really bad idea...

Idia's internal panick only escalated as he was dragged walking through campus with Ortho. Leaving his dorm room usually resulted in a one-sided fight for his life as every dialogue scene he had with another person besides his brother was set to hard mode by default.

Speaking with you in person was the best way to get to know each other better, Ortho would say. The problem was, Idia knew that you didn't know who he was, so it would probably be strange to suddenly have him speaking to you.

He was lost in his panicky thoughts when he felt someone bump into him, and he felt his body tipping back. (So unique and never seen before, I know.)

A hand quickly grabbed his wrist, hoisting him back upright. Ortho sent you a beaming smile with his eyes before quickly disappearing and leaving you alone with his brother, leaving the beanstalk to fend for himself.

Idia's heart nearly flipped in his stomach as he met your eyes. You let go of his wrist when he regained his balance, he almost fell over again.

"Careful," you smiled.

In his eyes, you looked like a panel from a manhwa where the love interest was introduced with flowers, sparkles, and glitter radiating around them.

"S-sorry," He managed to spit out, somehow sounding cohesive.

"It's okay, I just hope you didn't get hurt, I tend to grab onto stuff a little too tightly," you said with a sheepish chuckle.

Your laugh. Idia's ears felt blessed with such a delicate angelic sound. Like bells chiming in his ears, more harmonic than the songs from his favourite idol group's no.1 album. His heart was sent into overdrive, and he couldn't take it anymore and decided on the most rational option in his currently mushy brain.

To run.

So he ran.

You watched his retreating form with a fond look before you turned to face Ortho, who hid in a nearby bush and sent him a thumbs up.

This was progress, at least.

- A few days ago -

You had a crush on Idia. A huge one at that. There was no debate. You didn't even bother denying it.

You knew he rarely left his dorm room, so you barely saw him during the day. Seeing a flash of flamey blue hair dart around a corner just before you could fully get a look at the twitter logo-coloured candle always managed to make your heart squeeze and an undefeatable grin etch itself on your face.

Of course, a few days into talking to your new online friend, you already knew of his true identity but chose not to inform him of the fact. From what you'd seen on campus, he was the type of person to prefer engaging with others through the comfort of a screen rather than conversing face to face. And honestly, you couldn't blame him at all. It must've felt so stifling to always be conscious of the way you carried yourself, while choosing words carefully to not offend the person in front of you or make them think badly of you while simultaneously looking like a sane, functioning person.

So, you talked to him like an online friend would. After a few days of getting to know each other through public servers and direct messaging, you soon shared your interests and found common ground in a few of them. For example, you both were addicted to gacha games with diabolocal pity systems. He also started to open up to you, though you thought it was a little fast, but people tend to share a lot when speaking to someone through pixels on a screen as they felt more at home. He talked about his struggles when interacting with people and his constant anxiety about how people perceived him.

Being someone of minimal social intelligence, the most you could do was offer some general words of comfort about how everyone was different in their own way and some people are just more advantaged in certain aspects of life, social interaction being one of them.

As your feelings grew, you couldn't help but feel like your relationship was a little one-sided. You knew who exactly you were talking to, but as far as Idia knew, he was talking to and building a relationship with a person who could've been miles and miles away and he also barely knew who [Name] was.

Man, this really sucked.

- Yesterday -

Ortho was smart. It was only obvious since his mechanical brain had the efficency of a computer with infinite RAM. He knew his brother had met a new friend online, which explained his less gloomy aura and his anxious glances at his phone whenever they were in his room together.

It didn't take long for Ortho to learn that the person Idia was talking to also attended the same school. In his mind, he viewed finding out things about you as a way to further protect his older brother from harm.

Fast forward to later that day, Ortho cornered found you in the courtyard after you'd lost a bet with Grim and had to buy him a drink from a nearby vending machine.

He called out to you enthusiastically as he practically teleported to you, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Long story short, Ortho figured out how you felt about Idia, and he was over the moon. His brother finally had someone who he could happily spend time with, and he couldn't be happier for him. He knew Idia better than anyone, and it was certain that getting close to Idia in face-to-face terms would take a lot for him to get used to and he decided it would be best to slowly ease your way into making conversations with him without being forceful or overwhelming him.

Thus began your joint conspiracy to rizz up get to know Idia better.

- Present -

It took about a day for you to come to the conclusion that you'd most likely never see Idia during school hours whether he was on campus or not. Your schedules were so unmatched that it was ridiculous. When you had a lesson in the alchemy labs, he'd be in a P.E lesson and when you were in the history of magic, he'd be in some classroom that might as well be at the other side of Sage's Island.

Luckily for you, Ortho informed you about Idia's current whereabouts. He was in the Board Game Club's classroom, probably playing- you guessed it- board games. It felt like some sort of secret stealth mission, plotting where to catch Idia with Ortho so sneakily. You just hoped that this silly plot would work.

Now that you were in front of the clubroom's door, you had no idea what to do. Your brain already left your body shortly after your heart that was beating a mile a minute and had long since jumped out of your chest to who knows where. You'd worked so hard to get to this point (not really) and now that you were here, what were you going to do?

Showing up at his clubroom unannounced totally sounded like stalker behaviour from some poorly written fanfic, and you definitely were not about that life. What if you just entered casually? Did you have a friend in the board game club? Probably not since you didn't even know the names of the people in your homeroom class, save for Adeuce and Grim.

Deciding to swallow your nerves and whatever other anxiety that was clogging your airways, you calmly slid open the door. Surprisingly, the club had quite a few members present, but it wasn't too densely populated. Your eyes immediately lit up when familiar floaty blue flames caught your attention. He was alone on a table next to one of the room's walls. His usual board gaming partner, Azul, was nowhere to be seen. It was safe to assume he was somewhere exploiting some poor unfortunate soul of all their mortal possessions with his buy-one-get-one-free pair of henchmen.

You approached Idia, more nervous than a turkey the day before Thanksgiving. He noticed you and almost jumped out of his own skin.

Was he dreaming? If not, why else would you show up at the board game club? Before he knew it, he started to sweat. Every step you took closer to him made his poor heart run laps. The confident (Idia's POV. This does not accurately reflect current events.) stride in your step, and the smile you gave him as you approached made his face heat up, and the tips of his hair grow warmer. His flight- please there is absolutely no fight- instinct almost took over as he considered running out of the room at full speed.

There was no Ortho to help him communicate if he ended up having to talk to you. He was all alone for this pop-up Pokemon battle.

A random board game caught your eye, and you picked it up, deciding to use it as a shield to not let your conversation get stabbed in the chest by the painful spear called awkwardness.

"Hi, Idia." You said casually with your usual grin. 'Great start'

You failed to catch Idia's mortified expression as it disappeared as suddenly as it arrived. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't get any words out. To his surprise, you didn't seem to mind his silence and just sat down in the chair across from his.

"Sorry to bother you," you continued, "If you want me gone, just say the word." The second part was intended to be lighthearted as you let out a low chuckle after you were done talking.

He quickly scrambled into his bag and pulled out a slim, grey tablet, and began to type.

"I don't mind you being here at all, [Name]." A voice from the device's speakers that sounded too much like Idia's said. You weren't all too shocked since you'd seen him use it around school a few times and had even seen the thing floating around campus by itself. You'd just never have a conversation with "it".

"Woah, is that a voice program?Did you make it yourself? I've only seen it being used for vocaloids, and even those mess up a few times. Did you use a sample of your voice? Is everything prerecorded? If you-" You blurted out, quickly smacking a hand over your mouth to shut yourself up before you could ramble any further.

Great job, [Name].

Idia's eyes lit up with surprise at your words as he quickly started typing something on his screen. His features moulded into a proud smirk, "Yeah, it's made with a sample of my voice. I made it using a vocaloid as a reference."

"Really?!" You almost jumped out of your seat, eyes practically shining with stars. Gosh, he really was so cool.

He nodded frantically as the tips of his firey hair faded into a warmer hue. Students in his dorm had the same base interests as he did. However, he was almost always too nervous to initiate a conversation with any of them. But with you, the nervousness he felt didn't try to suffocate him for once and instead felt like a sweet, comfy flutter in his chest.

"I found this when I walked into the room, and it looked fun. Wanna play?" Your short exchange feuled you with a little more confidence as you built the courage to ask him to play a board game with you.

You hadn't even looked at the game's cover before picking it up. Imagine your surprise at finding out you'd picked up "Monopoly Bass Fishing Edition".

Great job.

Now, Idia probably saw you as some weird fish-obsessed kid (no offence to Octavinelle) who probably looked up how to make bass fishing bait in their spare time. The cover was hideous. A massive bass fish was in the middle, surrounded by loops of smaller bass fish all saying things in speech bubbles where the letters were modelled to look like bass fish. To top it all off, there was a massive glittery title in the colour of neon orange that said, "Monopoly: Bass Fishing Edition." Underneath in equally as eye tormenting sentence bordered off by a wiggly pink line that read "Get ready to be schooled!" Get it? Coz groups of fishes are called schools-

This was going to be painful.

You liked to think you knew all the rules of Monopoly by heart. Especially after seeing relationships crumble over the neverending board game.

Idia didn't seem phased, so you assumed he already knew the rules of the game, too.

You played for a bit, taking turns to roll a double to see who could start first. The first to roll a double was eventually Idia, so he took the first turn.

-

You knew Idia was competitive from the way he would obliterate the opposition during your online meet-ups in matches. What you didn't expect was to end up going bankrupt after only a few loops around the board. It took a while for you to accept defeat, but after seeing the small, triumphant smile that gently made its way onto Idia's face, any loss was worth it.

Now that you looked around the room, most of the board game club members had long since departed, and it was only you and your blue-haired friend left in the room. A blanket of quiet and slight awkwardness fell over the two of you as you both looked at anything but each other.

"We should uh, but the pieces away," you suggested.

He looked at you, a little surprised at your sudden breach of silence, before he quickly nodded. "R-Right."

After stiffly putting the pieces away, occasionally flinching when the tips of your fingers made contact as you passed some game pieces between yourselves, there wasn't much else for you to do despite twiddling your thumbs. From an outsider's point of view, the aftermath was painfully awkward as neither of you had anything to say. Sitting in silence wasn't always a bad thing, but come on.

Your brain frizzled as you tried to think of something, anything to say to start a conversation.

"Nice weather we're having today." So creative.

As if the universe was saying a big "f*ck you", there was a loud rumble of thunder outside the window before massive raindrops began to smack on to the grass and pavement outside, each with a louder 'plap!' than the previous one each time.

Idia giggled before trying to hold back a laugh, which eventually turned into even more giggles. You stared at him for a few seconds, stunned. You hadn't actually heard him laugh before as he always looked so terrified around you. Sure, he was laughing at your stupidity, but this was a start, right?

It didn't take long for you to join in, laughing at yourself too.

Maybe coming to his clubroom on impulse wasn't so bad after all.

-

"Sam's store is releasing this SSR-tier set of trading cards today, and I have to go get it," Idia muttered to himself as he scurried down a hallway of the Ignihyde dorm. "No one's gonna that early, especially since it's not gonna attract any normies-"

"But what if there's a whole mob of NPCs there? Worst case scenario is a few of them showing up to do some early morning shopping, so grabbing what I need and skidadling outta there is gonna be ez."

Ortho was most likely in his room resting at this hour, so Idia decided not to bother him. Besides, it was only a trip to the school store. He should be fine, right?

Wrong.

It was not ez peasy.

It just happened to be that the same day Idia's treasured ultra rare cards were released on the same day as Sam's new mystery drink that the whole school went crazy for. By the time Idia was about to leave the store after paying for what he came for, the whole area was packed, and it was almost impossible to move. Waves of students rushing to the till after grabbing a bottle of the new beverage washed over the store grounds.

People, people, people, and more people. Sweaty teenagers seemed to fight tooth and nail just to get their hands on a bottle. It was like the kids from the UK when Prime was launched. (iykyk) Everywhere he turned, he seemed to bump into another 3 people and get elbowed by another five. The sheer power of the crowd almost swept him off his feet, and he felt himself being dragged to the opposite direction from where he was headed. He reached his hand out to grab at something, while the other held his cards close to his chest, but there was nothing to hold onto for support. The only option was to become one with the crowd.

As he was about to give up and accept his fate, his outstretched hand was tugged on by a familiar, gentle yet firm grip, which felt like he was being pulled ashore after drifting off into the ocean. Idia's body was pulled upright and into a much less crowded space. A pleasant warmth spread across his chest as he saw the face of his saviour.

A part of him felt mortified while the other felt relieved. He was glad to have been pulled out of the sea of people, but he felt a little lame to have to have been saved by someone else, as if he couldn't handle himself. Another reason, the more obvious one, was because it was you. In his point of view, you always showed up at random times and ended up helping him without realising how much of an impact your actions held.

"I'm getting this feeling of deja vu," you smiled, leading Idia to a bench opposite the store.

"You helped me again-" Idia muttered, his eyes downcast.

You tilted your head, a little confused, "Hm?"

"N-No, it's not that I have a proble-" He cut himself off, "I, um-"

How did he manage to talk himself into a corner like this? Trying to talk to you felt like a puzzle with the myriad of emotions all rushing through his head at once, and he was bound to mess up somewhere.

"Don't sweat it," you responded. Your smile unwavering.

For whatever reason, Idia's anxious jumble of words never phased you. Your willingness to let him take his time when talking to you gave him a sort of confidence, and he could hope to speak with confidence that he didn't even know he was capable of.

A ray of reflected early morning sunlight that bounced off the shiny packaging of what Idia held securely in his hands and it caught your eye.

"Is that (insert game reference here)?!" Your voice cracked as you said the name of the franchise.

The mood was instantly lightened at your change in focus, and Idia felt himself get giddy. He was so happy to share a conversation with someone who wasn't a so-called "normie."

His excitement faded though, a bit, when he looked up to find that you looked slightly disappointed. You looked at Idia in confusion, but shrugged.

You sighed, looking away.

Why were you disappointed? Was it something he did? Oh no, what if you thought he was lame for getting trapped in a crowd like that, and you actually thought he was such a bother the whole time-

"I still haven't managed to get my hands in a copy," you frowned.

"Oh," He sounded stunned, which confused you. "Um, I-" He swallowed, fighting the urge to pull his hood over his head and hide.

"I mean-" Idia's eyes seemed to glance at everything and everywhere other than at you.

His breath caught in his throat, and the feeling multiplied by a gazillion when he saw Ortho watching him from behind a tree. He almost choked on whatever air he'd just managed to inhale into his trachea.

To make matters worse, Ortho held a cute but terrible made neon blue glittery banner that said, "Talk to them, Idia!!!"

Wasn't he resting?

The poor nerd (affectionate) wanted to evaporate on the spot.

"What were you about to say?" You asked, not seeing the silliness behind you.

Idia glanced back and forth between you and Ortho, wishing with every single bone in his body that the 50/50 gacha in front of him right now would go his way and you wouldn't turn around at all.

Imagine his horror when you followed his worryingly mortified gaze, and he saw our eyes widen a fraction, and you slapped a hand over your mouth.

"Ortho?"

He panicked for a good few seconds before he did what he did best and bolted away from you with a stubborn blush creeping up his neck.

"Huh?Wait up!" You called after him, but it was futile.

Ortho soon waved happily at you as he followed Idia back to what you assumed was the Ignihyde dorm.

-

"Where did you-" Idia began, speedwalking to the Hall of Mirrors with more agility than he knew his G-fuel filled body could possess.

"I did some research, and it showed that people your age have a 60% more chance at talking to someone they like when they're encouraged by someone else!" Ortho chirped with the certainty of the sun rising in the east.

"I'm not- It's not-" Idia couldn't find the words to use to retort at his younger brother. The way his sunny amber eyes shimmered with glee was enough to punch the words of protest that Idia could ever muster right down the drain. "J-Just tone it own a notch next time..." He finished with a small frown.

"Okay!" Ortho sang, floating into Ignihyde's mirror after the older Shroud.

Idia signed and pulled the strings of his hoodie tighter to conceal his face more. Now that you were somewhat aware of how he felt about you, he had no idea how to face you the next day.

-

It had been over a week, and you'd gotten no contact from Idia or Ortho. It was safe to assume that Idia probably didn't leave his room a single time in that time frame. A metaphorical banner was built between you as he had practically gone AWOL on everything you could use to contact him. So, you couldn't even talk to him with your online persona and try to understand how he felt by hoping he'd confide in his online bestie even a little. Not that you wanted to intrude on his privacy, but the fact that things seemed to be falling apart between you two before you properly even got to know each other hurt a lot more than th fact that you convinced yourself of- the fact that it looked like he didn't want to see you again. You sighed, closing your computer.

This was pointless. No doubt, he doesn't feel the same way towards you, and you really should start accepting it. Maybe he thought you were strange? Or it was creepy that you always seemed to be around when he was in trouble? Maybe he thought you were a stalker? He'd probably figured out your online identity and blocked you, hence the lack of activity on any of his accounts over the last week and a bit.

But you couldn't accept it. Not until you know more, and you don't think it'll help if you keep prying at the subject, especially since it won't do any good in the end. It was useless to keep trying. You grabbed your phone and checked the screen for any messages, but there were none. You put it back on the nightstand and turned on your side, burying your face in your pillow.

You lay there for what felt like forever and eventually fell asleep.

-

Morning soon arrived, and you woke up to a series of knocks at the main door of Ramshackle Dorm. The quick thuds of knuckles striking wood resounded throughout the whole bottom floor of the building, probably enough to alert your cat roommate out of his venture into Dream Land.

The perpetrator was definitely unexpected. It was a fine weekend, and you hadn't been expecting a visit from anyone at all, especially not the younger Shroud brother.

Rubbing your eyes and letting out a yawn as you opened the door, you had to squint to see something else other than a mop of flickering blue and a white block.

"Ortho?" You blinked. Your statement sounded more like a question to yourself than to the other party.

"Good morning!" Ortho said cheerfully, waving with one arm while balancing an assortment of books and various games under the other. He was carrying four plastic bags full of stuff, including a large bowl with some cereal, milk, eggs, toast, fruit, and orange juice inside it.

"Err..." you replied.

"We came to hang out!" Ortho cheered, which confused you even more.

"What? And who's 'we'??" You questioned all at once, not even knowing where to begin.

"Idia wants to apologise for running away from you for the past week. He said he's really sorry and did it because he was scared," he rambled on with his usual cheery tone and pointed to a nearby tree, "And we brought food!"

Behind said tree stood said Idia, holding onto the tree's bark with a grip for dear life while only the top half of his face peeked out.

What.

- Flashback to earlier -

"Now, what do I do? This is demon mode difficult- I'd rather fight Absolute Virtue from the original release of FF11 all over again for 16 hours straight than face them again... Can I get an F in the chat for this one..." Idia mumbled to himself in a string of incomprehensible gibberish as he sat in a fetal position at the corner of his room while his hood covered his entire head, and he rocked back and forth.

"This is the worst-"

"Cheer up, Idia!" Ortho handed him a charger, "You can always talk to them online if it helps!"

"At this point, they've probably forgotten about me. People's online friends get Men in Black'ed from their brains all the time. I'll just look like some weird guy that goes,'Hey kids!wanna to get free RAM for your computer?' or something-" his rampant thoughts only dug him further into his self-made pit of despair.

"Hmm," Ortho pondered, "Let's go see them!"

"Are you kidding?! No way!" He shook his head rapidly and started rocking himself even faster, "If they don't see me, maybe they'll even forget I exist and I can become one with the void..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Idia. We can go see them right now!" Ortho hovered around, gathering a bunch of gaming equipment and books, "Hanging out like friends will get rid of any tension in the air!"

"No!" Idia protested, but it was too late.

He'd already been picked up by a robotic arm, and off they went.

-

"That's pretty much what happened," Ortho recalled as you lead the pair the lounge.

"Right... But I still don't get how that means he's sorry..." You muttered.

"Why don't you tell them, Idia?" Ortho looked at his brother, "I'll leave you two to talk here while I make some snacks!"

The older Shroud twiddle his fingers and stared at the floor, his hood still covering his head.

It took a few seconds of silence before Idia began talking.

"Uh," he spoke quietly and cleared his throat twice before proceeding, "I was so stupid."

"Huh?" You said, gaping at Idia.

"I know I've done stupid things, but this was beyond stupid. Like, way too stupid! Noob at Subway Surfers level of stupid!" He babbled on, his voice cracking with uncharacteristic emotion.

He took a deep, shaky breath and closed his eyes, attempting to compose himself. His hair turning pink. "I kept telling myself it was okay for us to keep being friends online even though I found your Magicam page and accidentally liked one of your posts and knew who you were but you didn't know who I was and I felt guilty and then you suddenly showed up then I realised I l-l-like you and then that thing at the shop happened and you probably thought it was so cringe-"

Then it clicked. So he thought you thought he was weird? He didn't hate you.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your chest.

Then, you chuckled, snickered, giggled, then let out waves of laughter. Idia stared at you, dumbfounded.

"This whole time, haha, I thought I was the one who did something wrong."

"No! You didn't," He quickly jumped in.

"Wait, you just said that you like me...?" You pointed to yourself, and you felt your face grow warm.

Silence landed like a wall of pure steel between the two of you.

He gaped at you with wide eyes. Dang it! He seriously didn't mean to blurt that part out loud. Curse him and his tendency to blab everything he thought aloud as soon as he started talking!

Idia covered his reddened face with his hands.

"What a coincidence," you smiled, "Since I like you too."

You gently pulled his hands away from his face and gave him your brightest grin. He froze as soon as your skin made contact, and his breathing quickened, his hair turned a full, passionate pink.

"Ahahahaha...!" He stammered.

A sudden noise filled both the room, followed by a long silence, causing the both of you to turn towards the source. Your heads turned in sync to see Ortho standing at the door with a camera after it let out a painfully loud 'click!'

He gave the pair of you a huge smile with his eyes.

"For memories' sake!" He cheered.

-

Bonus

After you'd made breakfast together with the ingredients that the brothers brought, you, Idia and Ortho, sat in a triangle on the floor, while Grim watched lazily from the sofa. It was more of a joint interrogation performed against the little robot with Grim serving as an audience.

"So, Ortho, you knew Idia already knew who I was?" You raised an eyebrow, "And you knew about how he felt??"

"And you already knew that they liked me? And you knew they knew who I was and didn't tell me??" Idia squeaked, "And you told them to come to the store that day?!"

Ortho picked up a controller and was suddenly immersed in gameplay.

"Haha..." He sweatdropped.

[paramountpetrichor]

Omg omg omg omg omg now that I finally found other sams proshippers IMMA RANT ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE SUN X ALL HIS FAMILY MEMBERS!!!!! Old moon x sun? God tier cause of the power dynamics, moon's possessiveness, how closw they were and toxic their dynamic is it makes me so feral and crazy!!! EARTH X SUN IS EEEEEE I've been shipping them ever since earth was announced!! They are the best brosis ship!! Lunar x Sun is fucking cuuuuuttttteeeee!!! I love their interactions and how hes basically sun's baby brother and I'm so happy I found the proship side cause this entire fandom is ruled by antis🥺

YESYESYES RANT RANT RANT!!!!!!

Sun and Old Moon make me CLIMB WALLSSS. istfg you could make a list of how many times those two hit on each other and were all up in eachothers faces!!! the tension they had (and still have tbh) is INSANE. Sun was Old Moon's entire world and he'd protect him at all costs, even if Sun's heart was collateral in the process and that's so fucking UAFAIFAIGA GRR RAH RAH BARK SNARL!!! that one episode where Sun reassured O.M that he wasn't a monster??? i can't say the things that i think they DID TOGETHER after that episode without having to mark this post as mature afskagahaa. and oh my god whenever Sun was on his 'villain arc' right before O.M died, you know they had angry makeout sessions. you know they did. literally impossible for them to keep their hands off eachother even when they're fighting.

SUN AND EARTH ARE SO FUCKING CUTE AGSKQGAJSV they LITERALLY had a canon meet-cute where Earth SAVED SUN FROM SPIRALING DURING THE WORST MOMENT OF HIS LIFE. in ANY other media that'd be the start of the best fucking romance you've EVER seen. and not to mention how often they hang out together??? and how much earth makes sure to reassure sun that he's a good brother????? dear god they so have mutual crushes/feelings and are too nervous to say anything. (or they're already dating and just bad at hiding it lol. whenever they trade daycare shifts they also trade Kisses <3)

REPEATEDLY SLAMMING A CREDIT CARD DOWN AGAINST A TABLE. SUN AND LUNAR ARE SO AJAFAH TOO. i imagine they started bonding a long time ago- back during the og lunar design days. they found solace in the fact that they were both """the dumb one""" and quickly became close over that. not to mention the flirting- i mean "sibling bickering" they do all the time that is so URGHHH /VPOS 🤌🤌🤌 i bet they started being romantic one day whenever they were just gaming together n then lunar offhandedly asked "what if we made out lol. ...for like practice ofc ahahahah." and then after sun spent 5 minutes recovering from that he was like ".....sure...?". cue them repeatedly finding excuses to keep making out everyday until they just Accepted they were brothers who kissed ;3c

and also you didn't mention him but hes Technically a part of the family so may i pitch: sun and solar are so good tooooo. there sm ANGST POTENTIAL over solar (at first lol) not knowing if he sees sun as his own person or just a shadow of his own sun, but then solar starts opening up to sun a bit more n' he catches feelings and he catches feelings hard. hypnotized by the thought of solar just losing control one day and kissing sun w/o asking, and hes about to start rapidly apologizing but then sun kisses him back. aaand now they're making out in the daycare. and the only reason they stop is because someone (earth prolly lol) politely asked them if they wanted a room digisgoaga

UNFORTUNATELY your last statement is right, this fandom is primarily run by antis, but ykw, im gonna do everything in my power to carve out a lil safe proship haven for us """freaks"""! we deserve to have a place where we can make them all kiss, dammit!!!

[floorpancakes]

can you post what all the results to the quiz are & what charas they have? im just curious to see the answers to what i didn't get!

ok so ill probably add to this slowly but time for some stats and answers and stuff! obviously dont check this out if you dont wanna be spoiled (thread)

first, here's the actual amounts of each results people have been getting:

when i say i had NO IDEA we'd get so many chuunis....watching the numbers go up the first few days felt like a fever dream haha

but its comforting to know that everyone is cringe and free! i for one welcome our new gothy overlords!

i was also really surprised that gimmick idols got some of the lowest scores 😭 the space that spans is so wide so i was expecting way more people to get that result since i figured it'd catch a lot of people, but i guess you guys are rare!

---

now its time to look at the archetype list:

this was pretty tricky, especially cause i was working on the quiz for funsies at silly o clock in the morning for two nights while i was dealing with some sickness induced exhaustion lol. i wanted to include more (a few like the princely type nearly made the cut), but I found there was

1. a lot of crossover between archetypes (this even happened with some of the idols i chose for the results image!!! hanayo being average idoltwt user AND a harapeko type or minori being average idoltwt user AND fake it til you make it for example)

2. some archetypes that were only based on visuals or not on personality at all

3. kind of lowkey paradoxical (eg. someone might really fit the princely type, but often in idol shows they make it so that trait is pushed on them, but they secretly wanted to be feminine all along, which like, ok but then if someone actually fits the princely vibe I'd be slightly struggling for examples and we'd get all tied in knots unfortunately)

4. the amount of answers was already getting so long that if i added any more it'd start getting difficult to come up with more answers for some of the more concrete questions (like what you'd do post graduation etc)

...so I had to kind of draw the line somewhere. especially cause i thought like 3 of my idoltwt mutuals would take it and that's it 😭 maybe I'll make a part 2 or a more extensive quiz later who knows (guess who just remembered the 'rock is life' type idols and screamed into a pillow for only just remembering...)

---

so the idol archetype categories themselves are DEFINITELY things I've picked up on in multiple series, altho they may require a lil bit of explaining so I'll quickly summarise each one when we go thru the characters. i should probably mention that some of these (like the chuunibyou) are word for word archetypes that people use all the time, while some were just me trying to put words to the character types so the wording was just a descriptor (fake it til you make it queen), altho i hope they were useful! ive seen a few people online using these terms after taking the quiz which is super cute...🙇 let's take a look at these categories shall we?

(note: i have varying levels of familiarity w these characters, i wanted to make it reasonably varied and recognisable but some of them i kind of just knew what category they fit and that's it)

---

THE CHUUNIBYOU

to those who don't know, the chuunibyou is a pretty popular archetype beyond just idols, and tends to refer to people who are stuck in or going through their 'edgy phase'; chuu-ni being short for second year of middle school syndrome (think like, 13 or 14 year olds), but the general vibe tends to be associated with emo or goth phases, claiming to have an evil eye, being or being a servant of Satan, hiding a secret shy or self conscious side with edge, yaknow. average tween behaviour. it's not limited by age tho especially in anime media! one of the examples i used is a 26 year old grown man with a job. never too late!

Like with a lot of the other categories it was really hard to narrow down the results page characters, but from left to right:

1. Todo Yurika from Aikatsu!

Yurika takes being a lifestyle lolita to the next level, being a gothic lolita and punk idol with the chuuni character of a vicious vampire, which she desperately tries to keep up as part of her career, only letting people see her quiet nerdy self once in a blue moon. She has a secret soft spot for garlic ramen and sings some of the best songs in the entire series (which is an achievement cause aikatsus songs are god tier).

music rec (won't do this for everyone, only ones i know well, but pls feel free to fill in the blanks in the comments/reblogs!): check out Glass Doll, Onegai Venus and Eternally Flickering Flame! She has two singing voices over the series, both of which are incredible.

2. Asselin BB II (Asselin Beelzebub the Second) from The Idolm@ster SideM!

Asselin is a genius chef in his mid-twenties that ended up on the streets being kicked from countless jobs because of his ....quirks. He's a chuuni through and through, and its something a lot of the people around him didn't know how to handle, but when he gets taken in by Cafe Parade (both an idol group AND a real life dining establishment) to be their chef, he finally finds a place where he belongs. He's goofy and crazy while simultaneously being an introverted and nervous personality, and claims to be a servant of Satan, which just happens to be an adorable plushie that he carries around for comfort and finds difficult to be without, who gets painstakingly dressed up in matching outfits whenever he's included in a card! Don't be fooled by his softness though, this servant of satan has PIPES. You may recognise his voice, as he's played by well-known seiyuu Furukawa Makoto.

music rec: check out Waga Konton no Sabbath Marriage to immediately ascend, or Reversed Masquerade for a taste of the full CafePa experience.

3. Tsushima Yohane from Love Live Sunshine!!

Probably the most famous on the list so I'll keep it brief! She's been at this chuuni business since she was a little girl, so she encountered a lot of loneliness before joining Aqours, but she's got a cute and clumsy personality and has a tendency to yell about being a fallen angel. She's an absolute sweetheart, despite claiming that she's angered God himself, and is always there at the scene to deliver an edgy pose or stunning vocals.

music rec: check out Kowareyasuki and Strawberry Trapper for peak Yohane vocals, honestly Guilty Kiss in general should be mandatory listening homework

[cacoetheswriting]

hey!! i ADORED mutually assured attachemebt and was wondering if you’d do a part two? if not that’s totally okay but i loved the dynamic between bucky and reader in that fic and would love to read more about their relationship 😬

hi hello 👋🏼 thank you so so much, i'm really glad you liked it!! 💘 i really wanted to do a part two, but life got a little too hectic for me (im sorry)... you did however inspire me to still explore their relationship a bit more so i hope you enjoy this lil piece of writing!

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader warnings: mainly fluffy fluff and lovable idiots being idiots, set post Endgame and pre-TFATWS, neighbour!bucky, emotions/feelings, mutual pining, use of pet names (darlin'), a swear word or two, brief mentions of alcohol word count: 1.2k summary: bucky and reader watch the "stars", and get a little closer in the process.

a/n: this is technically a stand-alone piece, but in my mind (thanks to this lovely anon) it exists in the same universe as this fic 😜 i hope you like it!

-

Bucky stepped inside your apartment with a case of beer in hand; like he did almost every single evening since the two of you became friends. He was instantly greeted by a rather strange blue glow and about a million neon speckles.

Combined together they were reminiscent of a night sky.

“Do you like my new toy?” you asked proudly while closing the door behind him with a gentle thud. The corners of Bucky’s lips twirled upwards because only you would invest in something so ridiculous.

“Aren’t there enough stars outside?” he teased, placing the case of beer on your coffee table.

He slipped off his leather jacket with ease and made himself comfortable in the armchair you have both unspokenly decided was his spot in your home.

You couldn’t help but playfully roll your eyes, “I don’t know if you noticed, old man, but there aren’t many places left in New York city where you can actually see the stars.”

Bucky smirked at your comment, although he couldn’t argue. He’d be the first to know — and admit — how much the city has changed in the last 106 years.

“And I’ve adored the night sky ever since I was a kid so I recently opted to always be able to look at a fake one,” you quickly added with a light shrug after handing Bucky a beer and plopping down on the sofa across from him.

“Then you would love Wakanda. It has perhaps the most perfect night sky I’ve ever seen,” Bucky reminisced, slowly bringing the beer bottle to his lips and taking a long sip.

You raised a brow, a stupid grin circling your lips, “Are you offering to take me, old man? Just say the word. I swear I can be packed and ready to go in ehm—” you peeked at the watch on your wrist, adding to the theatrics, “—give or take ten minutes?”

The joyful expression illuminating your already faultless features caused Bucky’s heart to skip a beat.

If he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t an entirely new feeling. In fact, the warm sensation that spread through his whole body whenever he was around you, especially when he saw you smile, was becoming all too familiar. And strangely, he wasn’t complaining.

“One of these days, darlin’.”

His bright blue eyes locked with yours.

The air caught in your throat immediately, and your grin transformed into a timid smile. There was something different about the way he was looking at you in this moment, something almost… tender?

“I will definitely hold you to that,” you affirmed, breaking the quiet that cased around the room.

Bucky let out a lighthearted chuckle, “Oh, I don’t doubt you will.”

He took another sip of his beer and swallowed slowly, his Adam’s apple bobbing in the process, before glancing up at your luminous ceiling, “But in the meantime, I guess your fake stars will have to do.”

It was your turn to snicker.

Without saying another word, you hopped up on your feet and hurried out of the room. Bucky almost called after you, thinking he perhaps said something wrong, but you returned momentarily hugging a large blanket.

He watched you — slightly confused — as you moved the coffee table out of the way, almost spilling your beer in the process.

You placed the soft material on the floor, covering your rug, and proceeded to reach for a couple of throw pillows which were situated neatly on your sofa.

When you were finished, you briefly glanced up at Bucky and shot him a soft smile. The man returned the expression, the happy glimmer in your eyes causing his stomach to flip upside-down. He finished his beer while you lay down on the blanket, resting your head on one of the pillows. Gently, you patted the spot next to you and patiently waited for him to join you on the floor.

Bucky’s shoulder pressed against yours as he made himself comfortable and the unexpected physical contact caused the air to once again hitch in your throat for a split second. He noticed. Of course he noticed — after all, he was trained to pick up on these slight changes in people's body language — but out of respect to you, because he promised before not to analyse you, he chose not to say anything.

It probably didn’t mean anything anyway, right?

He swallowed his breath. No — definitely no — because that was not the type of relationship the two of you had. Even though, perhaps, it was the type of relationship he could see having with you.

The two of you silently observed the blue light reflecting through your living room.

Time seemed to stand still in that moment, in a way you wished it had. And as did Bucky, because truthfully he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this peaceful. You calmed him down, without the use of words, just being around you made him feel safe.

He liked it.

“If you squint really really hard—” Bucky lifted his metal arm ever so slightly and extended one finger, “—these few dots together look like the Lyra constellation,” he whispered as you carefully followed to where he was pointing, “Meaning the dot that’s just a little bigger than the rest could be Vega.”

You hummed a content sigh, a small smile circling your lips.

“What about that one?” you asked, playing along and pointing to some random neon speckles gracing your ceiling.

Bucky drew his tongue between his lips, fighting back a smile. “Hmm… it could be Aquila?”

“Aquila,” you repeated in a mere whisper, “I guess being 106 years old has it’s perks, hm? My knowledge of constellations starts with the Big Dipper and ends with the Little Dipper.”

The brunette man laughed, “My age has nothing to do with what I know about the stars, darlin’.”

“Sureeeee,” you teased him, “You mean to tell me you’ve never taken any ladies stargazing and impressed them with your constellation expertise? I mean, and I won’t lie to you, nothing says panty dropper like knowing where Aquila is.”

Bucky’s arm landed on his torso as he continued to laugh. The melodic sound was honestly intoxicating, it made you realise you had never heard — or seen — Bucky seem this lively and cheerful.

You liked it.

As the amusement died down, you tilted your head in his direction. To your pleasant surprise, Bucky was already looking at you.

Slowly — and almost hesitantly — he reached out his hand to gently brush away loose strands of your hair. All the blood rushed to your face the second his fingertips made contact with your skin, and the room fell completely silent then.

You instantly found yourself getting lost in his blue-eyes.

His perfect perfect blue-eyes.

Fuck.

“So— ehm,” Bucky cleared his throat, letting his hand fall back down, “Panty dropper, huh?” A corner of his mouth lifted and you smacked his bicep at the mocking tone of his voice, completely forgetting how you were now missing his touch from a split-second ago. Well… not… completely.

“Could it be your new superhero name?” you taunted him with a smirk, “If I’m honest, I think I prefer it to Winter Soldier,” you briefly stuck out your tongue at him, before sucking it back between your teeth.

The comment earned you an eye roll, “You’re unbearable, darlin’.”

”Bucky Barnes, the Panty Dropper.”

“Shut up.”

-

main masterlist

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[cdroloisms]

more of the mutually assured destruction duo, post-prison this time! this one was really fun, thinking about what this dynamic might be like in the future gives me SO much brainrot, im so excited. this one’s also a little dark, so make sure to read the warnings + tags !! :D 

tw: implied prison abuse, starvation, toxic relationship, touch starvation, manipulation, panic attack, trauma, blood, injury

Dream hasn't been the same since he escaped prison.

And it's ironic, because Wilbur hasn't even been around, has been in hell for fuck's sake playing Competitive Solitaire for nine-odd years, but even he could've seen the self-destruction hanging like a cloud around the other's head from a million miles (and several months? years?) away. Perhaps, he thinks wryly, you can only see the signs when you've lived them, or maybe red flags don't raise alarm when you’ve painted the entire figure in blood, but it doesn't really matter, in the end, because the final result is the same.

Still, it's just a little funny when he's stopped in the middle of his journey through the Nether, not a piece of armor on him per usual and an unused netherite sword slung over his hip.

"Hello, Sapnap." The kid is standing in front of him, eyes gleaming in badly-hidden anger and desperation, smoke rising from the mottled red-black skin on his hands. "Fancy seeing you around."

"You-" Sapnap sputters, unable to speak as his face flushes red in frustration, and Wilbur smiles at him condescendingly. The expression on the other's face is one he's seen before - one Tommy had been particularly inclined to give him in the past, when his emotions raged so heavily that there was nothing for the pressure to do but build, too thick and heavy to force themselves out of his throat. "You're monsters," Sapnap manages, finally, and Wilbur quirks an eyebrow.

At least we're self-aware, he thinks, the all-too-familiar twinge of irritation at Tommy's - and apparently, Sapnap's particular brand of reckless naivety pulsing at the base of his skull. He lets none of these thoughts show on his face as he cocks his head to the side, smiles wider - and Sapnap, just like Tommy, takes the bait.

'Why are you smiling?" He looks achingly young - they all do, really, their expressions and reactions dripping with a sort of innocence and sincerity that dissolved from Wilbur's own face somewhere around the fifteen-hundreth game of poker, and it really does feel ironic, how quickly the outside world can fall apart compared to the unending constancy of the void - but he digresses.

He didn't know Sapnap well before his whole death thing, and as much as he wants to use his partner to get information on the other members of the server, he doesn't really think Dream is really even lucid enough for that - the man clearly hasn't been thinking clearly, not for a long time. It doesn't matter, though, because you learn to read people when your life becomes nothing but running the same broken-edged memories over and over again in your mind and smiling jaggedly over the same few card games - Wilbur had always been a people watcher, and Sapnap's feelings are stamped on every corner of his face.

"Monster, huh," he says, saying the word slowly, rolling it over his tongue like he's tasting it for the first time, watching from the corner of his eye as Sapnap squirms, "Interesting word you've got here. You use it often?"

Sapnap bristles, smoke curling from his nostrils - "It's what you are, dickhead."

Rolling his eyes internally, Wilbur keeps up the act, humming as he fiddles idly with his cufflink. "I mean, if you really believe that," he rocks forward on his right foot, stifling a smile at the way the younger draws back, "But really, it's all a matter of perspective." He twists himself around, pivoting around his heel, beginning to walk in an arc around Sapnap's left side, watching as he spins around, shoulders drawn up to his ears. "What do you think?"

"I think that you're full of shit," he says, voice flat, and Wilbur laughs. It's genuine, really, because well - Sapnap's different. He's fun; the entire server is, after so long in the void. You can only spend so much time with the same two people before they drive you a little up the metaphorical wall, but Sapnap's reactions are fresh and new and different, still saturated with vitality that hasn’t been leached out by the same deck of cards in the same scarred hands shuffled and reshuffled for eternity. He's interesting, and new, and most of all, predictable.

"Say, Sapnap," he continues, blowing over the other's anger, knowing that it'll only make the frustration build more. He lets his hair flop lazily over one eye, lets his smile grow wider, lips pressed together in amusement, turns his face so that it's lit eerily by the lava lake beneath them. "If we're monsters for, I don't know, setting off a few stacks of TNT," he waves his hand flippantly, watching the muscle of the other's jaw jump in poorly-hidden rage, "What does that make you for what you did to Dream?"

Sapnap's eyes go wide, and Wilbur knows he's struck the jackpot. He lets his lips part to reveal bared teeth, jagged and glinting in the light. "I'm sorry, did that hit a nerve?"

The kid's mouth opens- closes- emotions warring on his face, fists curling and uncurling at his sides, lip trembling. "We- we had to-" his hands come to his face, palms digging into his eyes, and while he's not looking, Wilbur draws his expression back a bit, becoming softer, more welcoming. When Sapnap looks back up, his eyes are shining, hands shaking still; he steps forward, then rocks back on his back foot like he doesn't know where to go. "What do you mean?" he throws the words like they're meant to be a threat, but by the end his voice has devolved into something high-pitched and keening, overflowing with desperate grief that Wilbur latches onto like a starving man (ha) with his last meal.

"I'm sorry, it does seem rather insensitive for me to assume," he resumes pacing around the other, voice lilting, soft, "I just mean, it seemed pretty obvious, don't you think? I don't think I've ever seen someone so skinny, really, but I guess that is what happens when you get starved,"

"Shut up-"

"Not to mention the whole panicking thing, I mean, he's like Tommy sometimes with all of the fucking shaky breathing and mumbling around like creepers, not that I'd know what all of that's about," he watches Sapnap through half-hooded eyes, darkly amused, "and pickaxes, oddly enough, but oh well. Who am I to judge?"

"Shut up-"

"And all of the scars - I thought they were from you, honestly, he told me about the whole 'taking his last life' thing, but then he jumped into lava one day - I guess there wasn't much to do in that cell, huh? He didn't even scream, it's really pretty fucking incredible - I thought I'd actually have to break him down a bit, but really, you've made my life so much easier-"

"SHUT UP-"

Wilbur watches with a too-wide grin as Sapnap finally, finally charges, a netherite sword appearing in his hand as he races blindly ahead, tears shining on his cheeks, his words more pain than thought as he brings the blade down-

A blur of purple, the sound of crumbling netherrack and metal meeting metal, flesh hitting flesh - Wilbur moves smoothly out of the way as Sapnap crashes to the ground, an armored figure bearing down an axe against the shield he's raised between them.

Dream, hair tangled and long, wearing armor that is far too heavy for his skinny frame, every inch of him shaking in panic, should hardly be a threat - but this is Sapnap, weakened by Wilbur's sharp words and crippled by the shock of seeing his former best friend's face again, eyes still unfocused from the rage and tears that had clouded over them moments before, so he can do little but raise his shield as the netherite slams into it, again and again. Not a word falls from Dream's lips, but he brings down the weapon at a ruthless pace - ever since he's been free, his attack style has changed greatly from the defensive style he used to favor, even to Wilbur's untrained eye - there's no skill, no art to the way he attacks anymore, just the fearful ferocity of a dog trapped in a cage for far, far too long.

He finally kicks Sapnap down the netherrack cliff that they're on, the other man left to nurse his wounds below them - Wilbur doesn't bother sparing him another thought; Dream's far too weak to cause any permanent damage. Instead, he approaches his partner, weapon, with a smile, watching, satisfied, when he whirls around with a manic expression.

"I'm alright, see?" he croons as Dream's shoulders move up and down with his heaving breaths, eyes fever-bright, teeth bared. He brings a hand down on the other's shoulder and watches as he flinches at the movement, breath hitching, every muscle freezing, knuckles pale on the handle of his axe, before moving again, stumbling forwards, hands reaching for Wilbur's head and stopping halfway. Wilbur tips his head forward, lets the shorter brush his face with trembling fingers, checking his unmarred skin for blood through the purpling bruises already forming on his cheek, and thinks how powerful he is to have a god at his beck and call, a perfect attack dog brought to heel, death itself obediently at his side.

Dream hasn't been the same since he escaped prison, and as Wilbur runs his hand up and down his back, feeling the way his spine arches at the touch, at the fluttering pulse under the skin-and-bone wrist under his fingers, he thinks how fortunate he is to be the first to notice.

[the-tiniest-one]

Late Night Office Visit: Confessions of the Copy Ninja

Kakashi X Reader

This is my first post so go easy on me. Its just a little fluffy/smut I wrote while thinking about it. Tell me what you think and thank you so much for reading!

***

Your office is tinted in soft warm light from the small lamp by your desk. A candle burning near your desk is scented for the fall season, October is here in the village and it’s starting to get chilly. You had dressed comfortably for work, an over-sized lavender hoody and long black leggings that covered your socked feet with knitted dark grey boots. Your (h/l,h/c) in a messy bun.

It’s no secret that Kakashi is a man of routine.

 His routine had recently begun to include trips to your office. Usually to tease you. You being a night owl, around 1am like clockwork when he was home from missions, he will indulge in a “random and unplanned”, unannounced visit, usually involving some kind of failed attempt at sneaking in and trying his best at scaring you. You expect his shit by now though. 

During his visit both you and he compete to best the other in a battle of “who can make the other blush” during the private office conversations.

“So why are you always working so late” kakashi asked, wandering around the office, picking up a book from the shelf and thumbing it lazily. “Dont you have a boyfriend to go home to?”

The question was bold.

“No”. A short yet devilishly innocent sounding reply from you, while looking at your mound of papers littering your desk, followed by deafening silence.

“What a shame” Kakashi says almost no variation in tone.

The tension is strangling you. 

Feeling a little bit bold as well, you decide to lay the innocent act on as thick as possible 

“I guess it is a shame. It gets so lonely in my little apartment...If only I had someone to come home to... It’s too bad. I bet you probably have lots of company waiting for you to get home and keep them warm.” you reply with a grin.  

Standing and walking over to the large window Kakashi came into the office through, leaning forward to close it, the cool October air giving you a chill.

Turning around, almost in an instant, Kakashi was behind you. Wrapping both hands in your hair with breath taking tenderness. His lips pressing against yours….expressing desperation and need. You had been dreaming of this moment for months, your tongue pushing through his lips first. Both of you searching for security in each others kiss. 

When he pulled back to look at you, you kept your eyes closed for a moment. savoring the first time. 

The first time that you knew, as silly as it sounded....As much as you hated the idea that you could be so deeply invested before his lips ever touched yours....the first time that the man you could feel in your blood was your perfect match...Your soulmate kissed your lips.

When you did finally open your eyes, the worried look carved across his perfect masked features was too clear. “Was that okay?” he asked, clearly worried to hear the answer.

Without verbally responding, you crashed into his lips again. This time wrapping your legs around his waist and pushing your hands through his unruly hair.

Within seconds your back hit the desk gently, his hands wandering under your hoody. His calloused thumbs running over your nipples, causing you to moan quietly into his open mouth.

His lips left yours quickly finding your jawline, just behind your ear, “I have wanted to kiss you from the instant that I first saw you”. he whispered.

You blushed... “six months does feel like a long time” you respond quietly.

He stops kissing for a moment to look at you inquisitively, (your tits still fully engulfed in his large hands). “6 months?” he asks confused.

“Yeah, when we first met?” You reply slightly embarrassed by his exasperated expression. 

He looks at you with even more embarrassment and his soul bared just under the surface of his clear pretty eyes,

 “Oh, well uh...you see, I was talking about the very first time that I first saw you...like ever ...back at the Academy.” Said Kakashi

“What” you said, thinking back....Kakashi, and the other mutual friends you two shared from his graduating class like Guy and Asuma.... were two years above you. You cant remember ever having seen him at the Academy or even when you and your team had grown and gone on countless missions together. You would remember him, you know it. It wasn't as though he wasn't around...He was just such a private guy (and you were a private girl), and he had spent so many years in the special ANBU division or...away from other people in general. 

Even though you’d never met in person until about 6 months ago, you’d heard of the famous copy ninja almost your whole life. His sinister reputation was known throughout the hidden nations.

“How long?” you ask breathless...nervous to hear the answer.

“Hmmm lets see...I guess it would be the day you graduated from the Academy... I was passing by, headed to turn in a mission report when they posted the list.” he replied in a more confident tone.

“I watched you never stop to check it. You already knew you made it. Everyone else clamoring for a look at the list, and I heard you tell another student...”Im going to become a chunin, then a jonin, then Hokage. To protect the person I love someday”. 

Your stomach did somersaults. You remembered the moment he was quoting..... but as hard as you tried to place him, he wasn’t there in your memory of that day.

 Head spinning... you were an early academy graduate, 8 years old when you made genin. You were 27 now….That means Kakashi Hatake has loved you almost your entire life...without you ever having met you. 

You forced him back down onto your lips while simultaneously unzipping his flack jacket. Then pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his perfect torso.

He undressed you however, much more slow and methodically, only a bra under your hoody, quickly unclasping it and throwing it to the side. Then your leggings, finally while kissing down your neck to your breasts, he pulled your panties off and put them in his pocket.

His mouth making slow circles around your nipples. You noticed how wet you were when his right hand slid from your tits to your hip, then to your slit...he giggled as he quickly fingered and teased the outside of your soaked pussy.

“Please kashi” you gasped, maybe louder than you wanted for the office building you were currently being ravaged in.

His slow kisses moved down to your panty line. Lips dancing along your skin in perfect rhythm with his hands teasing you. 

“Please what?” he asked with an almost stern inflection

At first you didnt reply, only writhing under him.

But the shock of a slap on your inner thigh made you almost scream with desire.

“Please what” he asked again while resuming the kisses to your belly.

Please let me cum you said, almost at a whisper.

Just like that his mouth was on you. Licking your clit at first, an eternity of teasing you nearly to tears. Then he started sucking you with a ferocity that bordered on desperation.

You were a mess. You couldn’t even begin to form coherent thoughts when you felt his tip graze your pussy lips.

“You looked into his eyes, and he waited for confirmation.”

The second you nodded he began. Slowly dipping in and out, first the tip, then slowly incorporating more of himself. Making sure you were comfortably adjusted before adding another half inch or so. The care in which he conducted himself was nothing short of impressive...however it was driving you insane. You needed to be fucked. You wrapped your legs around him, forcing him as deep as he would go, catching him off guard...if only due to his extreme focus on your perfect pussy.

He gasped at the sudden tight warmth around his cock, looking up at you as you rocked your hips to help him along.

It didnt take more than a minute at most before you laced your hand into his…

“Im so close, kashi...can I please cum?”

Surprised and fully turned on by the request, his thumb hit your clit, fast circles helping you along.

“Cum on my cock (y/n). I want your pretty pussy to cum for me”

And like that you snapped, quivering and writhing on your desk while he followed almost immediately, soaking your insides with his hot seed.

You laid motionless, gasping for air and seeing stars….

He kissed your nipples again, still inside you,  making you jump from the overstimulation.

Finally resting on your chest while your hands wandered through his hair.

“I wanted to do that for an eternity” he said still catching his breath.

“Well I let me grant that wish” you say with a giggle. “An eternity it is”.

[myhoneststudyblr]

something crazy just happened...

i started this blog a year and a half ago and i honestly never imagined i would reach 100 followers let alone 15k!!! so i want to thank you ALL for being so lovely, welcoming and supportive - whenever i come on to tumblr, the studyblr community never fails to make me smile

this studyblr has been such an important journey for me and since i’ve made it i’ve grown as a person and as a student. it has taught me so much, from good study habits and self-care tips, to even some things about who i am as a person!

since i’ve created this blog and particularly in the past few months I've had the honour to meet and get to know some truly incredible people and i want to tag some people who i love and im so thankful to for being so kind: 

(you should all go follow their blogs if you haven’t already)

(btw it is probably gonna be quite long cause i have so much to say about these incredible people!!! sorry but im not really sorry XD)

@redlitmusbluelitmus MIA!!! i have already told you so many times how glad i am that you are my friend but i am going to do it again right here cause i can!! you are quite possibly the nicest, funniest and supportive people i have ever had the pleasure to meet. we haven't known each other for that long but in that time you quickly became an amazing friend and we have always just *got* each other!!! 💕💕💕

@study-van yasemin - our first conversation was pretty much a car crash and every one since has made me laugh and look like a proper idiot cause im usually just staring at my phone! i’ve followed your blog for so long and i’m so proud of all the amazing things you are doing and i’m so glad to have you as a friend after so stalking your blog for so long 💕

@museeofmoon zainab!!! we’ve known each other only for a short time now but our friendship was pretty much immediate!!! our conversations are filled with emojis, emoticons, capitals letters and XDs and i wouldn’t have it any other way!!!!! your posts are works of art and i will forever stan them <3

@headgirlstudy Ellie - discovering your blog was one of the best things to come out of my 2020 quarantine challenge cause you have this incredible style and simple beauty to your posts that i just can’t get enough of! i’ve loved having our fangirl conversations about taylor swift and all her incredible songs! you probably don’t know this but one of those conversations took place when i was feeling very low but discussing all the songs with you lifted me up so much so thank you xxx

@jeonchemstudy DAPHNE!!! if i ever create a bujo, i want it to look like yours because honestly, i don't understand how you managed to create such beauty!! we are interested in such similar things and it’s been so cool to find a fellow Gallagher girl lover (i was so shook when i found out you loved the books cause i usually feel very alone in my loved of them XD) and someone who is obsessed with last week tonight as me!!! x

@bulletnotestudies sabrina... you are just incredible and such a joyful person!!! i will always remember you messaging me when i posted that i was stressed about an exxay exam and your message was the last thing i saw before doing it and honestly if gave me such a boost! you’re positivity and supportiveness blows me away and i want many many more conversations with you xxx

@lattesandlearning laura - you were one of the most dedicated posters throughout the quarantine challenge and i loved seeing each and every one of your posts! i’m so glad to be following your journey and seeing what you’ve accomplished even in the short amount of time that I've known you <3

@upside-down-uni mo!!! another incredibly dedicated poster in the quarantine challenge and one that i always specifically looked out for! you and your blog have truly opened my eyes to other experiences and educated me more than you know just from your responses and posts! i always see that you like my posts and even on my dumb little text posts you often reply and it always makes me smile! i’m so glad that you’ve created this officially studyblr and thankful to you for making the community even more colourful 🌈

@coffeeandpies pat, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but you are the basically the third person that i followed in the studyblr community and to think that we’ve actually had conversations and we are friends and mutuals is downright crazy to me because you are imo just one of those iconic blogs!!! you are a beautiful person inside and out and your text posts are hilarious and tell the best stories. thank you so much for being so lovely <3

@coralstudiies you were the first person ever to really message me on tumblr and i remember being so shook because i think your blog is just mind blowingingly incredible! every picture of your notes looks like a work of art and i don’t know how you manage to make them look so perfect!!!

@problematicprocrastinator beth, you are a pillar of positivity in this community and your supportiveness and openness is at a level that i aspire to! your morning messages are usually the first thing i see (at least when i still was going to school on the bus every morning before all of the corona stuff) and it always gave me a little boost for the day! you are an incredible writer and your dedication to supporting everyone in this community is amazing <3 (also your blog name is probably the best one i’ve ever seen and i’m so jealous ngl)

i could wax lyrical about every studyblr i know but this post is getting really long so here are more of my favourites (just know that if you are in this list i have a little monologue about how amazing you are in my head and i appreciate you so much 💕💕💕)

@chazza-studies-alevels @stuhde @captainofstudies @sosiaalitieteet @elleandhermione @mid-afternoon-tea @athenastudying @learning-to-think @serendistudy @philology-studies @rivkahstudies @emili-a-a @nabasynth @divinity-study @cals-desk @abbieestudia @studywithprincess @studybuddiesareoverrated @casual-minimalist @stu-dna @coffe-in-cup @adelinestudiess @intellectys @eintsein @einstetic

there are so so many more that could be added to this list and i’m sure i’ve forgotten people!! basically i ADORE every single person in this community and i’ve loved getting to know all of you and i hope i’ll be able to meet more people in the next few years 💕💕💕

Now here’s the blograte celebration!!!

I did a blogrates for 10k followers but i enjoyed it so much and it was a while ago now that i want to do it again with all you amazing people!!!

Rules

Must be following me although new followers are welcome too!

Must be a studyblr or at least mostly (cause I want to find some more studyblrs to follow)

Reblog this post

Send me an ask : in the ask begin with your favourite emoji so I know it is a blog rate then tell me a funny story! 

Please don’t send anons - if your studyblr is a side blog just tell me this in the ask

Please let me know what you tag your original content with (specifically if it is not in your bio) 

Please be kind and patient! i am very busy this summer with lots of work as well as running my Summer Studying Challenge so it may take me a little while to do it but hopefully, i’ll get it done as fast as possible

I will be doing these blogrates until Wednesday 22nd July 

Format

URL | not my style | I kinda get it | awwww | I’m loving this! | how did you even come up with this masterpiece!?!??! |

Icon | what is it? | nice | aesthetic™️ | *heart eyes* | I WANT IT NOW THIS IS SO GORGEOUS |

Mobile theme | eh | nice | good | amazing | aesthetic af |

Desktop theme | default | nice | good | amazing | give me the code pls |

Following | no sorry, but you’re still amazing! | I am now omg! | how could I not?!?!! | forever and always ❤️ |

Original content | couldn’t find any :( | nice | great | well done! | I LOVE! | ABSOLUTE GOALS!!! |

i will be tagging my blograte posts with #myhoneststudyblr15k if you wanna blacklist them so your dash doesn’t get filled up!!

Thank you everyone!! <3

[cosmicbash]

this is hella specific but my personal sadistic liking i guess, but imagine kells and em were rough fucking and em goes too far and kells actually starts to cry in pain and takes a few seconds for em to notice but when he does, his whole personality does a 180° and he becomes the sweetest motherfucking thing

im not sure if u saw my post where i said i like crying kells/ soft em combo

When they first started fucking it was always rough. There was teeth, nails, blood, like the two of them were trying to tear the other to pieces just as badly as they were trying to meld their bodies together.

Eventually things started to even out, their fucking softened the same way their voices and touches did.

Actual feelings blossoming and a relationship rising from the scorched earth they liked to think their original beef had caused.

They couldn't call it hatefucking anymore, not when the hate was gone and something warm and scarily close to love had slithered in its place.

So now their sex was mostly normal, tinted with moments of softness or the rushed clumsiness of some spontaneous hookup. But, that didn't mean the roughness was completely gone.

They'd fucked that way in the beginning for a reason. It was good. Colson's nails cutting into his back or along his scalp to try and futilely pull on his short hair just felt invigorating. Like it lit a fire deep in Marshall's stomach that he'd long thought smothered.

They still fucked hard, and fast, just not as often. Sometimes after a nasty argument to get out the anger, other times just because the blonde came to him with that challenging glint in his eyes begging for a punishment.

Tonight was the latter.

Overall it had seemed like a perfect day, their voices soft and smiles softer over the course of a rare breakfast together and an even rarer lunch. The usually annoying call of a 'required' industry party appearance actually pleasing Marshall for once just because it meant he had an excuse to linger in LA, to publicly visit the same event as his boyfriend with little suspicion. Colson had stayed overnight to steal the whole day together in preparation. It was perfect.

So of course Marshall should have seen the devious little plan of his boyfriends coming. Colson always buttered him up before he got bratty.

It started with batted eyelashes and flirty licks of icing off some silly cupcakes, and ended with some other douchebag snaking his slimy presence into Colson's bubble. Stealing away attention that wasn't meant for anyone but Marshall.

The sparkle in Colson's last glance his way had announced the request for tonight's sex better than any words the blonde could have simply used instead.

So that's what Marshall gave him when they got back to the hotel room, a firm fist in the back of blonde locks. Colson's arrival an infuriating 20 minutes later than his own.

Per usual the younger rapper barely struggled, the glee on his face at Marshall's jealousy so much stronger than any desire he may have had to play along with a few feigned huffs.

It was hot, seeing Colson smile so catlike up at him with every rip of expensive cotton and snapped threads through Marshall's trembling fingers. He honestly didn't know if he wanted to strangle the brat or grab him like something precious. Colson just knew every button to press to get him riled up and angry. Teetering on the edge of real rage and violent jealousy that might have fucked up his marriage but somehow never truly settled here between them. Because looking into those sparkling mischevious eyes Marshall somehow always knew it was fake, that no matter how many times Colson and he played this game the blonde would never actually cross the line and cheat or hurt him.

The fire in his stomach burned white hot on nights like this. Where his hands could curl tight around Colson's wrists and risk leaving bruises both along them and the small of the boy's back where they sat pinned. Marshall's other hand roughly stretching open a hole he can tell has been fingered already in the car or maybe even at the party itself in hopes he would just bend it's owner over and force his way inside the moment they met back up. But that was a risk Marshall wouldn't take, not one where his assumption could seriously hurt Colson, no matter how many times he found the blonde already slick and ready. Because yes it was rough, and they still clawed at one another and bit mutual bruises along pale skin but it was also still more like making love than the angry hate fucking they'd had in the beginning.

Which is why as his hips snap in their rapid pace and his fingers cut into Colson's skin Marshall faintly notes the shift in his boyfriend's spine. Colson's still moaning, still rocking back to meet his harsh thrusts but theirs a silent thought nagging at the back of the older rapper's brain about it. Like there's something right in front of him that he just can't decypher yet.

The sex swamped part of his mind only urges him to go harder, reminds him of how his boyfriend has only come once so far and how utterly beautiful he looks overstimulated and trembling from a second uninterrupted orgasm. Brushing the blip of concern off as a moment of overthinking while he chases down his own release.

Marshall's eyes have slipped closed and his fingers tightened to that nail cutting grip when he hears it. The slight change in pitch to Colson's cries, not enough of a warning for his own hips to slow down. Not with how tight his stomach is getting and ready to burst his balls feel while he somehow finds the ability to speed up his fucking. Thighs clapping loud and fast against Colson's like he's going to fuck his way right through the other man. Increase his tempo until the seperate beats turn into one long ring.

Colson jerks beneath him then, not in his own release but away from his grip like the fire in Marshall's stomach has finally leeched its way outside to burn him. The usual chorus of "ah, ah, ah-" replaced by a wet sounding and higher pitched copy. Less pleause and more pain. Cutting through the older rapper's own roaring pleasure like a hot knife.

He's seconds away from coming. Just a handful more of thrusts and he could be pumping the tight hole clenching double time down on his cock full, but Marshall's heart has already dropped.

He's out of Colson in an instant, not caring how dizzy his own movements make him or how his cock throbs agonizingly for release. The fear bubbling up is too strong for him to care. "S-shit, Col, baby, I-I'm sorry-"

He's on his side, rough fingers now jarringly delicate as he curls around the blonde to pepper a dozen apologetic kisses along his shoulders. Careful as he turns Colson's flushed face to see the genuine tear tracks that have wettened perfect cheeks. A complete contrast to the harsh grab and jut of thumb into jaw hinge he'd done only an hour earlier on in the night.

"Shh, baby, I'm sorry, shh, where does it hurt?" There's a hundred different things rushing through Marshall's mind. Second guesses on how prepped Colson had been, how harsh his last bite was, on the belittling terms his dirty talk had included. What he could possibly do to fix the tear stained mess he's creates on his boyfriend's beautiful face.

"No-" Colson's voice is still tight, his eyebrows scrunched. "Don't-" a hiss and Marshall's stomach can't drop any deeper. But then crytal blue eyes are opening to meet his and the unmistakable sound of a bitter laugh is tumbling past Colson's lips.

The look shot is way sparkling with the request of forgiveness. "Just my hip-" And Colson's smiling at him, weak and sheepish like knows a reprimand is coming his way. The heavy wet weight of tears hanging on his lashes softening his eyes to emphasize that boyish charm the older rapper was smitten by.

His hip. The one he'd injured last week falling off stage and swore up and down to Marshall was fine all week. The brunette wants to collapse back onto the bed in relief and also smack his idiot of a boyfriend aside his head for terrifying him like that.

He settles in the middle with a sigh and soft bump of their foreheads together. Palm cupping Colson's wet cheek and eyes closing to thank whatever deity above exists that he didn't actually cross that invisible line inside himself and directly hurt Colson on his own.

"I love you." Colson's voice is still a little rough, still silently asking for forgiveness, and Marshall can't help but sigh again and try to smother that insecurity with slow kiss. Fingers softly skating through bleached hair and body rolling cautiously close to connect their skin.

"I love you too-" he sweeps away the salty tears with some scattered kisses. Fingers leaving his boyfriends hair to stroke down over the hot jut of unknowingly tender skin he'd been further injuring. "You idiot." The insult could be directed at either of them. Colson for lieing and himself for forgetting how dismissive his boyfriend could be of his own health.

"It- it wasn't that bad-" Marshall finds his mouth smothering an argument. Not interested in hearing the same childish defense from his boyfriend. Mentally he's already searching for the contact of his wonderful chiropractor to schedule Colson an emergency appointment and just how quickly he can get the precious man into a warm bath to soothe the ache.

[alegacyofmikalsons]

The Act of Living Chp.4: Connections

Author’s Note: I’m super excited to share this chapter with you. It’s a bit on the long side but, there was a lot I wanted to include since the plot is starting to pick up. There’s some heavy foreshadowing sprinkled in for where the story is going and what revelations are going to happen soon. I want to continue to thank everyone who has read and left their support, it really means a lot! 

Rating: Mature

Series Summary: Klaus and Elijah were supposed to die, but fate in the form of new friends Serafina Hewitt and her sister Stevie intervened. A year later Stevie is dead and Sera returns to New Orleans to see her friends and investigate her suspicions about what happened. When it's confirmed that a powerful hunter group is responsible, she realizes a much bigger threat is coming, one that threatens all of New Orleans. As they race to stop it, she gets more than she bargained for, finding the truth about who she is and a growing attachment towards a certain Mikalson.  Most importantly, they all get answers to the biggest riddle of all: what the act of living really means.

Masterlist: https://alegacyofmikalsons.tumblr.com/post/623479526213681153/the-act-of-living-masterlist

Tags: @kinda-iconic​ @endlesshero1122​ @katelynnicolerollins​ @im-a-bisexual-mess​

If anyone wants to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know! I also post this story on Wattpad so you can check it out there as well.

Shoutout to @bbchoices​ for beta reading this for me! 

Link to Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/916376115-the-act-of-living-chapter-4-connections

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Several hours later, only a dull ache remains as I come downstairs freshly showered and changed into the lacy black dress Rebekah let me borrow. I stop in the living room surprised to find it in pristine condition. Just as Elijah promised all evidence of my destructive emotions is gone. That means Freya is here somewhere.

"Wow that was fast," I murmur before going to search for her.

However, I don't get far before hearing her raspy voice.

"That's the beauty of magic isn't it."

Turning, I see her walk into the room. "Freya, there you are!"

She quickly comes over, pulling me into a quick hug. "Sera, it's good to see you!"

"The feeling is mutual," I reply before asking, "Where's Keelin?"

"She stayed at home. Her feet are killing her lately so, I figured I'd let her rest. She's meeting us at the cemetery though."

I nod slightly. "How are she and the little one doing?"

"They're both good," she answers, a look of adoration appearing in her eyes. "The baby is healthy and is almost ready to go. After next week it'll be a matter of waiting."

I can't help the smile tugging at my cheeks. Talk of impending motherhood always put me in a good mood.

"Well, it looks like I'll still be here when the time comes."

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? How'd you get the time off?"

"I just lost my sister, they'll understand. I know my boss will. As if for the council, if they don't then, I don't really care."

I keep my response vague since I want to hold off on telling her about Nemean. I don't want her and Keelin stressing about this unless they have to.

At the mention of Stevie, Freya's expression falls. "I can't believe she's actually gone. She was just at our place yesterday afternoon."

I know the reason why. She was working on the nursery for the two of them. It was her latest design project and a gift. Now, she would never get to see the result.

"The nursery. She told me last week that it's almost finished?"

I frown as another wave of grief causes a lump to form.

"That's right. All that's left is a few furniture items to set up and things to put away."

"Well let me know if I can help. I can definitely assemble things," I offer, clearing my throat.

She lets out a little sound of relief. "I might have to take you up on that."

We continue to talk for several minutes while we wait for the others to join us.

At some point I inquire, "When exactly did you get here? I didn't hear you come in?"

"Oh, I've been here for at least an hour. No one told you I was here?"

I shake my head, pressing my lips together. "I wish they had, I would've gotten ready earlier."

Hearing the sound of footsteps behind me, I turn around to see Elijah walking into the room.

He raises an eyebrow as his brown eyes land on mine. "And that's precisely why I made sure no one did."

"Overprotective much?" I quip in protest. "I wasn't in that much pain you know."

He gives me a dubious expression, crossing his arms. "That's not what it looked like to me."

The level of concern causes my annoyance to disappear. I do tend to shy away from showing any kind of vulnerability, including taking other people's help. Most of the time I can cover up any discomfort or distress I may be facing. This time, I clearly let something show or he'd learned how to look beneath the surface.

"Okay I'll admit I was...a bit sore," I respond, with a half shrug. "But, I'm not made of glass Elijah. I could've walked down a short flight of stairs! Or if it was really that big of a deal you could've sent her up to the library. No movement from me required there."

Before he can respond, Klaus enters the room followed by Rebekah and Marcel.

"She's right, brother," the hybrid says, a smirk forming on his lips. "I tried telling you she would react this way but you wouldn't listen."

Glancing over, I notice Elijah's face turning a faint shade of pink. It's a prospect I find myself liking. He's always so controlled, so to see him suddenly flustered is refreshing. I try not to dwell on it too much though, much like the other thoughts I've had.

"Serafina," he finally stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to overstep I was just...concerned for your well-being."

I bite my lip in an attempt to hide the smile forming. "Oh, I know you were. You wouldn't leave the room until I had to get ready."

Freya's eyebrows shoot up in amusement. "Oh really? He definitely doesn't do that with everyone."

This renders him speechless, the flush deepening as he adjusts his already perfectly straight tie. Luckily for him, his sister's comment also leaves me at a rare loss for words.

"Well, it was nice, even if I did find it a bit excessive," I eventually tell him, my cheeks starting to become warm. "I guess it's just...easier to taking care of myself."

This seems to relax him somewhat, as he gives me a silent look. A shared understanding of what exactly I mean.

"I figured you could use the company given everything that's happened," he responds with a half-smile.

My smile widens. "It definitely helped take my mind off of things. So, thank you."

"You're welcome."

It's only now that I look around the room and realize everyone is staring. I quickly avert my gaze as the blush on my cheeks spreads.

For a moment, no one says anything until Elijah clears his throat. "I believe it's time to leave is it not?"

I look out the window to see the sun low in the sky, not quite at the point of beginning its final descent.

"I'm ready to go if you are," I answer.

When the others nod in agreement, I breathe a sigh of relief as everyone heads toward the front door. Less than five minutes later, we begin to head towards our destination. As I walk, I'm surprisingly able to keep up with the conversation without too many distractions. Occasionally, a fraction of a strange memory takes me away momentarily whenever I pass someone, but the visions don't last more than thirty seconds. Before long, we reach Lafayette Cemetery where Keelin is waiting for us.

"You look lovely," I tell her after saying hello.

She responds by rolling her eyes. "You don't have to flatter me, Sera."

"I'm only telling the truth."

We continue to talk as the group heads inside. However, I trail off seeing how many people there are. All four factions are here talking with one another as if there wasn't a deep history between them.

"There's no tension," I murmur, eyes widening.

"I told you everyone liked her," Marcel replies, his expression solemn. "She helped bring the whole community together."

I raise my eyebrows. "She always had this effect on people. But, I didn't realize she did this much."

"You have no idea Sera." Hearing Vincent's voice, I notice him walking towards me, a ghost of a smile forming.

"I assume I have you to thank for this."

He wraps me in a quick hug which I accept with no hesitation.

"In part," he replies. His eyes examine me, having not seen me in person for over a year. After he's done, his brows pinch together in care. "How are you holding up?"

The question forces me to acknowledge the grief that's come over me since we got here.

"As well as you'd expect," I finally answer with a shrug I definitely don't mean. "You'd think it would be easier after so many times, but...it's not."

He nods, sadness clouding his features. "Believe me, I wish it did too."

After a minute, I sigh, pushing past the emotions threatening to overwhelm me. At least I don't have to worry about another episode. They don't tend to occur repeatedly. In fact, the time between them is usually at least a few weeks.

"Anyway, I'm surprised you were able to do this so soon," I mention.

"I was told to expedite things with the local PD since you figured out what you needed. We couldn't get them to bury her any sooner than tomorrow afternoon but Elijah did compel them into letting us do this."

Of course, he did.

"I could've waited a couple of days. But, I appreciate it," I say, shaking my head.

When I look over, Elijah offers a shrug. "It was the least I could do."

I return my attention to Vincent. "In other news, it looks like I'll be in town for a while."

"Really?" His expression brightens. "Maybe this time you'll be convinced to stay for good."

This receives a scoff from Rebekah. "Oh, believe me, we're trying. But, she's more stubborn about obligations than Elijah is!"

I raise my eyebrows as the elder Mikalson purses his lips.

"That is a perfectly good thing to have," I protest. "It takes a lot of patience helping people who don't want it."

My tone hardens as my thoughts drift towards the leaders of Mirebrook.

"I don't know how you put up with them," Vincent grumbles. "They don't treat you with an ounce of respect."

More like they want me dead. I don't exactly fault their reasoning since I am the one that helped cause the decade of chaos we've had.

"I don't really have a choice. Not when I promised mom I'd finish her term on the council," I reply. "And I can't give up on the kids at the school. They need someone on their side."

Maybe one day I'll leave that place. Either if I get tired of it or if the townsfolk succeed in driving me out. But, as much as I've come to loath living there, there are some ties I can't sever just yet.

My gaze wanders towards the surrounding people, as I take in the scenery. For a cemetery, it's beautiful even without the addition of string lights and white flowers. Almost everyone is somewhat close together, in pockets of three or four.

Standing off towards the edge outside the gates is an older looking woman, her eyes wild and searching for something. Immediately, she piques my interest. She has to be at least in her sixties, judging by her warm and wrinkled facial features and wispy, graying hair. Several layers of clothing, including a loose dress and yellow knit sweater, cover her skinny frame.

For some reason, I can't look away no matter how hard I try. I jump when she suddenly notices me staring. A mixed expression of pain and fear appears on her face. Then, with superhuman speed, she vanishes. Almost like she was never there.

"That's weird," I mumble to myself.

I can't shake the feeling that we're connected somehow. That I should know her.

Then, I look over to see Vincent staring at the spot where she was standing. In his expression, I find familiarity and hesitation.

"Have you seen her before?"

He finally meets my gaze with a start. "Oh, that's Minerva. She lives out in the bayou but I've seen her in the city a lot. She's...a bit of a character. Keeps to herself for the most part. Except when...well...that's not important."

His sudden evasiveness is starting to bother me. Usually, he never hides anything from me. I don't from him.

"Vincent, what?" I ask, unable to let this go. "When she looked at me, it seemed like she knew who I was."

It doesn't take long to lower his resolve.

"She...knew your folks Sera," he finally says.

I widen my eyes as my mouth opens. "What?"

"They...made me promise not to tell you. But, yes. She came by the house occasionally, ever since they brought you home."

The information makes my head spin. Then, I gasp as old memories flood my brain. I remember talking to her when I was younger, her appearance exactly the same. All the things she randomly left on our doorstep, including a white jewelry box with a shimmering gold ribbon tying it shut.

"That's who she is," I whisper as I come back to the present. "She never told me her name."

"Serafina?"

Hearing his voice, I turn to find him staring at me in bewilderment.

"I talked to her when I was a kid," I tell him. "She gave me gifts sometimes too. My mythology books...this necklace." My fingers find the gold chain around my neck. "I wonder what she was doing here. Why she didn't just come inside."

"I wish I had an answer for you," Vincent says, clearing his throat. "Anyway, things are starting soon so, I'd better finish getting everything ready."

Once he's left we head over to where the chairs are set up in front of a small display. Sitting down in the front row, I examine everything. The first thing I notice is the closed black casket where Stevie is tucked inside. Next to it is a picture of her and a bouquet of her favorite flowers. A stage platform is also there with a podium that's chipping away in some spots from use.

Before I know it, Vincent's there greeting everyone. "Hi, everyone thanks for coming out here tonight on such short notice."

He then goes through the short program of the ceremony before beginning his eulogy.

"We're here to say goodbye to Stephanie Hewitt, better known as Stevie. I was friends with her parents for a long time, especially her dad, Anthony who I'd known since childhood. And so, I've had the pleasure of being here when Stevie was born. I watched her grow up from a sweet little girl to a remarkable young woman. Last year, she moved back to New Orleans and our community after being away for many years. That's when most of you met her. What she found was a community deeply divided, more than it ever had been before and that is an understatement."

The remark receives uneasy laughs from many around us.

After it settles, he continues. "We've had our tries at peace, but they never lasted long. But, in several months, Stevie was able to do what so many of us couldn't. Like many of you, I was skeptical at first. It definitely wasn't easy either. However, the challenges only made her more resolved to see this through. And eventually, by some miracle, we began to come together. Because of her, the factions have a real chance at peace. I will always be in awe of that. I know for me personally, that she made this place, this community, feel like home again. And I just...hope that we'll be able to continue this without her." He trails off as his voice breaks. "But, I know that she'll always be with us in spirit, looking after us. That here, she'll never be forgotten."

I watch with a heavy heart as he struggles to keep himself together. A few minutes pass before he can speak once more.

"Now, I'll leave the podium open for anyone who would like to say some words," he instructs.

One by one, people share their memories and pay their respects until almost everyone here has said something. Then, to my surprise, Rebekah comes up to the front, a tangled web of emotions on her face. I didn't expect any of them to say anything here given how closed off they usually were.

"I won't take too much time, I promise. I just wanted to say a few words on behalf of our family," she says as the small crowd quiets. Taking a deep breath, she continues. "Many of you know that our reputation precedes us. It's no secret that we're difficult to befriend or be partial to at all."

This receives some nervous laughter.

"However, there are a few brave souls during our long life who have sought to do the impossible. Who sought to truly get to know us. Stevie was one of those people along with her sister, Sera. When they first met us, they knew all about the legend of the Original Family. Yet, that didn't affect how they treated us. That alone earned our respect. Over the past several years, that has turned into a close friendship, something that usually takes decades for us. That's because they were able to see good in us despite everything we've done. Stevie especially. When they care about you, they make it known and they would do anything for you."

She paused, taking a breath as her eyes glistened. "They even...found a way to keep our family together...against all odds. Stevie was one of the best people I've ever known and I'm sure that my siblings would agree. We've experienced our share of losses over a thousand years, but this one we will carry with us for a long time. Thank you."

"You didn't have to do that," I say after she sits back down beside me.

She rolls her eyes, wiping away her tear-stained cheeks. "Of course I did. Even if it meant a moment of public embarrassment, Stevie is worth the sacrifice."

I give her a bittersweet smile, unable to hold back a snide remark. "But, now the world knows that the Mikalsons aren't completely heartless."

"Oh, I'm sure we will do something to make them forget again," Klaus interjects, his smirk faltering ever so slightly.

It seems even he isn't immune to my sister's influence. The thought makes me smile. Lord knows he needed it as much as I did. When I return my attention to the front, Vincent is there once more.

"At this time, I'd like to invite Stevie's sister, Sera to say some words," he announces.

A coil of anxiety forms in my stomach as I widen my eyes. I didn't prepare to say anything since I don't live here. But, I can't turn down this now. Reluctantly, I stand and walk onto the small stage.

Sighing, I approach the podium, trying to tune out everyone's eyes on me. "Thank you, Vincent. And thank you to everyone who's here."

I swallow nervously, trying to figure out what to say that hasn't already been said. Eventually, I decide to talk about the beginning.

"Usually, when you meet your younger sibling, it's when they're born," I begin. "However, Stevie was five when I first came into her and my parents' life. That's because they first took me in when I was nine and the adoption was finalized a year later. When they first brought me home, I was a bit apprehensive and didn't trust them yet. Back then, I was known as a problematic child...by the system. My emotions, especially my temper, often got out of control causing destructive things to happen. At the foster home I was at before this, they didn't know what to do. The adults hated me and the other kids were too terrified to come near me."

I pause, as ancient traumas make their appearance. Taking a deep breath, I muster enough strength to continue.

"I was scared that this would happen at my new home too. And so for the first few weeks, I pushed them away as much as I could, Stevie especially. I, either ignored her attempts to talk to me or... I lashed out. This continued until... I went too far. This time, I ended up pushing her which resulted in a bloody nose and a decent sized bruise. My parents were furious, more than they ever were up to this point. I remember being terrified as they sat me down in the living room. I was convinced that this was it, they were going to send me back...to that system."

My voice breaks off as I relive that time of my life. How if I didn't have my parents, things could've ended up different.

"What I didn't expect, was for them to start asking me questions. Not as an interrogation, but because they somehow understood that I was doing everything for a reason. For a good twenty minutes or so I resisted, still expecting the worst to come. Eventually, though, I couldn't keep it in. I broke down and told them everything. They stopped being angry after that."

As I continue, I don't even have to close my eyes to be transported back in time.

"They promised that they would always be there for me, that they would always love me. And they kept their word. Right up...until I lost them. First, my dad when I was 19, and then my mom almost two years ago. After this talk, I had to go and apologize to Stevie. I found her in her room, drawing something. I barely got the words out before she forgave me. Just like that. In fact, she was happy to see me, as if the incident never happened. Even back then, she never held a grudge against you. Since that day, we became almost inseparable. I tell you this story because it explains why Stevie became the person she was. The ability to believe in the good of everyone, her capacity to see every perspective, her forgiveness. All of it, she learned from our parents. I'm not surprised she brought that here."

I shake my head, my hand balling into a fist. "All she wanted was to make people smile. Through her friendship, her art. Everything. She didn't deserve this...for her life to be cut short. I loved her so much...and I will miss her every day."

Blinking back tears, I step down from the platform and head back to my seat. Somehow, I'm able to keep myself together and they stay inside.

I feel Rebekah's hand come over mine, squeezing gently. The gesture somehow makes everything less painful. Soon, the ceremony ends with Vincent thanking everyone and providing instructions for leaving.

I make everyone wait outside the entrance for Vincent without too much protest. They still don't have the best relationship but, they manage to keep any lingering grievances to themselves around me. I wasn't going to pick a side in any arguments, which usually revolved around something small.

By the time I see him approach us, the place is empty and devoid of the decorations that were here.

"Sorry that went a little long," he says, a sheepish expression on his face. "I didn't expect that many people would want to speak."

I shrug. "Don't apologize, I'm glad they did. It makes me feel better that I wasn't here."

He frowns at me. "You're not blaming yourself for what happened, are you?"

"Do I really have to answer that?" I remark. "Of course I do. If I was there...I could've protected her."

"She wanted you to come with her."

I roll my eyes. "I know that, Vince. I wish I could've but...you know why I couldn't."

We exchange a silent look. He knew about Nemean and how they wanted me. He was the only person Mom trusted with it.

"So, you think her staying in Mirebrook would've been safer?" he asks incredulously.

"I don't know, maybe!" I exclaim, his tone rousing my easily set off temper.

I don't need a guilt trip or lecture at the moment.

"Come on, Sera. We both know how secure that place really is. She would've been just as vulnerable there as she was here. There was nothing you could do."

I whip around to face him.

"And whose fault is it?" I snap. "It's still mine. I'm the one who started all of this in the first place!"

"Because you were manipulated, Sera! By someone who claimed to love you!" I recoil, the words stinging as I'm reminded of the worst mistake I ever made. "What happened is on him and the rest of Nemean, not you."

Freezing with alarm, I widen my eyes at him. "Vincent--"

"Yeah, I saw the mark," he interrupts, his eyes slightly narrowed. "I know they're here, that they did this."

"Not everyone here did, and that was for a reason." My nerves tinge with anger once more. But, I know it's no use trying to keep this a secret now. "The community can't know yet, especially since we have no idea what they have planned."

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. "Sera, we have to tell people! They need to know what they're up against."

I shake my head adamantly. "No, that is the worst possible thing we can do right now."

"And why is that?"

"You know why," I snap, images from the last attack at the edges of my vision. "Mirebrook, two years ago. The council told everyone right away and look what happened! When the fire started none of them stuck to the plan we spent the last four months creating." This time as my eyelids well with tears, I can't keep them from spilling down. "Mom and I were the only ones who stayed behind! We were trapped in there for hours before someone came back."

When he meets my gaze again, his eyes are haunted. "I know Sera. As if I can forget what happened."

A tension-filled silence surrounds us as we calm down. Then, I hear Freya clear her throat.

"Wait a minute. Who the hell is Nemean?" she asks, her hands loosely on her hips.

Vincent gives me a nod. "They deserve to know."

As much as I'd rather not talk about this out in the open, I know he's right. Exhaling, I reveal who Nemean is and how I knew about them.

"Oh my god," Freya stammers after I'm finished. "Were they...really behind what happened to Stevie?"

"Yes," I say quietly. "Each time they kill someone, they leave their symbol in ink somewhere on the body. We found one on Stevie's neck."

"We also discovered one on someone else," Rebekah adds, her gaze landing on Marcel. "Daniel."

After a few seconds, he blinks in realization. "You already knew? And you didn't say anything?" he exclaimed, his forehead creasing into a scowl.

"I...yes." She gives me a hesitant stare.

Feeling a little guilty, I try to reassure him. "I made her promise not to say anything to you yet."

The irritation barely diminishes as it shifts towards me. "And why is that? I wouldn't have told any of the vampires yet."

"I know, I wanted to wait until I could convince Klaus and Elijah first which didn't take as long as I thought it would." I turn back to Freya who I can tell is also a bit annoyed. "And I didn't want to stress you two. My mom always talked about how it wasn't good for her clients."

Her gaze softens at this, her arms loosening from her sides. "I appreciate the concern but, I'd rather know what this threat is."

"What do you think Nemean will do exactly?" Keelin inquires.

Glancing around, I make sure no one can overhear us, even with enhanced hearing.

"I believe that there will be a large attack at some point," I confess. "One that could endanger everyone in the quarter, possibly more of the city."

Both of them look at me in horrified shock.

"What?!" Freya stammers.

"It's what they always do in places like this, with large supernatural populations. Did you hear about the explosion in Savannah, Georgia six weeks ago?"

Her eyes widen, the color draining from her already light complexion.

Keelin swallows, equally disturbed. "It was on the news. They said a gas leak was responsible."

"Which was started by Nemean. They also set the fire inside. I know because I've been tracking them for years now. Including hacking into their communications."

"That's awful," she murmurs, her hands gravitating towards her stomach instinctively.

"That's actually one of their less successful ones. Usually, their casualties are around twice that number."

Marcel's eyebrows knit in concern. "What made the difference?"

"The amount of warning time. Nemean only started sending their threats five weeks beforehand. The residents had enough time to prepare a defense while staying in the right mindset. The three places they targeted before this one? Same thing. I should've known they were coming here. All of them lead in a curved line...towards New Orleans."

This leaves everyone in stunned silence.

"That's why we need to keep this between us right now," I continue, giving Vincent a pointed look. "I doubt we'll be given the same treatment."

"Why not?" he counters. "Why wouldn't they just continue the pattern?"

I roll my eyes heavenward. "Because this is different! I'm here. More importantly, I care about this place, a thousand times more than I do Mirebrook. This isn't just a means to an end for them. This is personal. They're going to inflict as much pain as they can, which means they're not going to reveal their final move for a while. Trust me on this one Vince. Do you really think they'll give us enough to plan anything until they want us to?"

His jaw clenches repeatedly, his expression full of conflict.

"Alright," he relents, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I won't say anything for now." He narrows his eyes at me. "But if this backfires, I won't hesitate to say I told you so."

I press my lips together to keep a slight smirk from forming. "I would be concerned if you didn't," I remark before I raise an eyebrow at the others as a silent question.

Marcel lifted his shoulder in a half shrug. "The vampires won't hear a thing."

"You know we trust you," Freya adds, gesturing to Keelin who nods in agreement.

An ounce of relief runs through me, allowing the tension I usually carry around with me to ease slightly.

"Thank you," I say before a yawn escapes my lips.

Suddenly, I'm aware of just how exhausted I am from everything that's occurred since this morning.

"Are you...actually tired for once?" Rebekah exclaims with a laugh.

They all knew how I tended to stay up late. Usually, the short amount of sleep I received is somehow enough to keep me energized but, this isn't normal circumstances.

I fail to hide the smile making it's way upwards. "I know, I hardly believe it myself."

"I should probably get going then," Vincent says, his gaze meeting mine once more. "I assume I'll be seeing you soon?"

"Probably. You're the only person here who knows as much about Nemean as I do. I'm sure you'll be able to assist somehow."

He gives me an amused look. "What'd you do, bring all those files with you?"

"Of course not. I digitized everything several months ago. All I needed to bring was my laptop and four flash drives."

After another minute or so of idle conversation, he finally heads for his place. Freya and Keelin leave shortly followed by Marcel and Rebekah who have their own place in the Quarter for when they're not traveling.

"I assume that you'll be staying with us," Elijah says, somewhere between a statement and a question.

I shake my head, realizing I hadn't said anything until now. "Actually, I got a hotel room when I first arrived. It was a couple of hours before check-ins started but, I managed to charm the guy into letting me do it early."

He blinks at me in surprise. Though I catch something else too. Disappointment? I can't quite tell. Usually, people's emotions were easy to decipher but, not his. At least, not when he didn't want you to.

Finally, he gives me a slight grin. "I assume there's no way to dissuade you?"

"Nope." Though I have to admit, the prospect of staying with them is tempting. Luckily, I did plan on having to do it eventually. "But, I did just pay for tonight. After that, if your offer still stands I'll take you up on it then."

"Of course love," Klaus tells me, his gaze dancing between the two of us.

Elijah nods, choosing to ignore him. "You're always welcome when you're here."

We agree to reconvene around 10 in the morning tomorrow before taking my leave. The walk is a relatively short one, around fifteen minutes. The hotel is a historic one but not a major attraction. It's a bit more than I wanted to spend but, since I'll only be here for a night, I didn't really care.

As I start to round the corner onto the street it's on, I notice a figure emerge from the building. Something about it seems strange, compelling me to investigate. I quickly duck back against the brick. Peeking out, I freeze when the person walks underneath a streetlight, illuminating their face.

Minerva.

Why would she be at the hotel? Vincent mentioned that she lived in the Bayou. When she goes past where I'm hiding she stops suddenly, and I hold my breath. Then, the air suddenly warps around her and I have to bite down on my lip hard to keep from gasping.

Blinking, her appearance changes as everything stills once more. The woman is now several years younger and strawberry blonde hair cascades down her shoulders. A pristine white and gold dress covers her slim but muscular frame.

What the hell?!

She looks around as if she can sense someone is watching her. However, her blue eyes never land on mine and she eventually walks past me. The air shifts once more and before I can blink the older woman is back, as if nothing ever happened. I stare in confusion, unable to process anything until she's merely a shadow in the night.

Shaking my head, I finally walk down the street once more and head inside the hotel. When I reach my room, I'm snapped out of my bewildered state as my blood turns to ice. The door is slightly ajar. I didn't forget to lock it. The memory is clear as day. Which means someone else opened it.

I reach for the knife I always keep hidden, briefly closing my eyes to feel the coil of dark energy that hums in my veins. Once I have control of it, I push open the door open completely. Not seeing anyone from out in the hallway, I step inside, my eyes darting around the small space.

"If you're still here, I have a weapon and know how to fight," I exclaim, my tone harsh. "I suggest you come out now."

I receive no response, the only sound from the old radiator. Growling, I search the entire place including the bathroom and closet with no luck. Whoever was here left before I arrived. Examining my suitcase, I find it undisturbed.

With a huff, I lower my hand to my side and allow the energy to become dormant once more. Surveying the room again, I spot a small slip of paper on the nightstand that wasn't there before. Narrowing my eyes in suspicion, I pick it up expecting it to be from Nemean. The paper is smooth under my fingers, thick.

This isn't anything like they've left before. Turning on the lamp, I hold it up to the light until a faint watermark can be seen. Expensive no doubt. A short handwritten message is written on one side in simple yet elegant penmanship. I don't recognize the writing. It isn't Richard's or one of is subordinates. The ink is black which could mean anything. I'd have to analyze it up close to know more.

Sighing, I finally decide to read the message, which is addressed to me.

Dear Serafina,

You do not know who I am but, I believe that I may be able to help you. I am aware of your conflict with the Nemean Brotherhood and have seen the different ways that it may end. It is because of this that I have decided that the time is come to reveal myself to you. To tell you the truth of who exactly you are. More specifically, what you are. It will be the key to defeating your enemy. You have no reason to trust me but, I have watched you from afar since you were a mere infant. I have even visited Mary and Tony to ensure that you were alright. When you left New Orleans, they entrusted me with the care of your home. If you choose to meet with me, I will be there waiting for you. However, I understand if you do not. I will send you the information in another manner.

- A.

The words leave me speechless my heart hammering in my chest. Is this real? Or some elaborate trick? As I continue to stare at the note, it suddenly starts to glow in my hands. Jumping, the paper falls to the ground, a tingling sensation running up my arms. Then, I look down to see my necklace gleaming in the same faint yellow color, the metal suddenly hot against my skin.

I stumble back, almost knocking the lamp over as a strong realization hits me. An overwhelming sense that this is the clue to find out exactly who I am. What Nemean wants with me.

Everything.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

[rvnjun]

wedding dress | kim jungwoo

Warnings: Fighting Genre: Fluff with a some Angst Word Count:10.1k A/n: This is the longest thing i've ever written. Im not even sure if its good or even makes sense. I just feel like the reader and Jungwoo didn't bond much but my friend said she really liked the story anyway so il go ahead and post it.  I might delete this later. Oh and sorry Doyoung XD Definitely spelling and grammar errors, if you spot any please let me know 

Your grip tightened on the pillow, you squeezed it like your entire life depended on it. The air seemed to be thick with tension. The longer you two went without saying another the more you felt heavy. You looked around your apartment, the place that normally felt so warm and welcoming felt foreign. It didn’t feel like your home anymore, it felt like a trap. 

“Y/n” Doyoungs stern voice snapped you out of your trance. Never once had you heard him sound so hurtful.

 “Did you even listen to a thing I said? God stop being such an idiot,” Doyoung snapped at you. He sighed, tapping his feet rapidly against the ground. Your heart clenched in pain, his words echoed in your head making you feel sick. 

“I was listening. Doyoung,, I,, I thought you loved me?” You squeaked out, afraid to look him in eyes. 

Doyoung shook his head “I did, at least I thought I did. For a while, I pretended to still be happy but I can’t keep doing this anymore. As I said, I’ll pack up my stuff and move in with a friend,” Doyoung causally talked about the breakup like it really didn’t matter to him. More than anything you started to feel your anger bubble up. 

“Did this relationship mean nothing to you? I just,, I can’t believe you! After 3 years together your breaking up with me like this relationship meant absolutely nothing to you,, and,, and the wedding? I already have my dress and it’s already planned. What am I supposed to tell everyone!” Your voice raised with every word. 

Doyoung scoffed at you “Simple, we will cancel it. You can return the dress. It’s not that big of a deal,” he didn’t answer your question instead he made your relationship out to be nothing. It started to be overbearingly painful to continue to hold back your tears. You finally let loose, the hot tears cascaded down your cheeks.Your cheek bone felt like they were throbbing. 

“Is there someone else?” You finally asked what had been on your mind all night. Doyoung seemed taken back by your words. He stared at you in surprise. His silence was physically suffocating. You started to choke on your tears, coughing a few times you waited for his reply. 

Hesitantly he nodded his head “You’re smarter than I thought you were,” he pointed out. 

“Oh god,, why? Who is it Doyoung!! Who is it!” You demanded, still in tears. You took a step forward and clung to the kitchen counter with all your might. Your knees felt like they were gonna give out. 

“I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. I’ve seriously never seen someone so beautiful. It was really refreshing. I thought back to you and I never felt the spark. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, I mean, I had just proposed. One turned into two and then eventually it became an every Thursday thing. With Jieun I feel alive,” Doyoung passionately described his secret love affair with Jieun. 

“Jieun?” You asked in reassurance. Jieun was the new intern at your work, she was a sweet and cute looking young girl. 

“Are you kidding me? She is practically a kid, Doyoung,” your entire body started to shake. Finally, your knees gave out, Doyoung took a few steps forward and caught you In his arms beige you could hit the ground. It felt nice to be in his warm embrace for the last time.

 You quickly came to your senses, pushing him away as hard as you could you yelled “Go away!! Just fucking leave, I don’t want to see your face again,” you started pushing on his chest. Doyoung grabbed your hand and looked into your red and puffy eyes 

“Calm down. I need you to tell me that you won’t tell anyone I cheated?” Doyoung wanted to make one thing clear. You bit your lip to hold back even more tears, Doyoung only cared about his image. 

“Fine but under one condition. We tell everyone that I called off the engagement, it will make me feel better.” You did your best to sound stern. If Doyoung was going to break up with you for another girl 2 months before you were going to get married you didn’t want anyone to know the truth. 

Doyoung smiled and lightly laughed “Yeah that’s perfectly fine! I’m so glad that you have a simple mind. Well if that’s it then I’m gonna grab some of my things and leave. I’ll pack up my stuff while you are at work this way we don’t have to see each other.” He patted your shoulder and left for your previously shared bedroom. 

You stared at the cold tile floor, all your happy memories with Doyoung flashed in your head. From the time when you first saw him to the time when he first asked you out. You could remember the joy of Doyoung returning your feelings. You lightly giggled when you remembered the feeling of your heart bursting in joy when you saw him on one knee. Doyoung walked out of the room, sending a message on his phone. 

He looked up at you and met your gaze “Thank you for being so understanding,” he awkwardly waved before slipping on his shoes and leaving. Like he hadn’t just ripped your heart out and stepped on it. 

“Hey Kim Dongyoung,,you’re a heartless monster,” your voice was wobbly as you were on the verge of tears once more. “I guess they do say that the hottest love has the coldest end,” your vision blurred with hot tears. “Why did you have to leave me? Couldn’t you see how much I loved you!” You screamed, grasping at your hair. Angrily you started jumping up and down, loud sobs echoing through the empty and barren feeling apartment. 

The place that was once full of love and warm was now dead and cold. “Do you know much money I spent on the wedding? Oh my god, the wedding. What am I gonna do?” You started to panic and rambled to yourself about all of the problems that you were suddenly realizing. “Fuck!” You screamed, grabbing the pillow that your fist clenched and chucked it at the wall. 

A wave of exhaustion washed over you. Your body acted before your mind did. You pushed open the bedroom door and stared at the empty king sized bed. The room still had a lingering scent of him. Glancing towards the closet you admired his clothes that were still here. Sniffling a little you pulled one of his hoodies off of the hanger. Slipping your shirt off over your head you put on his hoodie. Hugging it close to your body it felt like he was hugging you one last time. Yawning you felt another wave of exhaustion wash over you. Crawling in the bed you rested on what was normally his side. “Why did you have to leave me, Doyoung? Why?” Your body started to shake with tears. No one around to comfort you, even when you told everyone the wedding had been called off you still wouldn’t have anyone to comfort you. No one would know the truth except for Doyoung, Jieun and you. The last thing you saw before you drifted off into sleep was Doyoungs adorable bunny smile.

Rolling over to your other side you continued to lay in bed. If someone had walked in on you right now they would think they discovered a dead body. Which honestly was true, at this point you felt dead and emotionless. How could Doyoung so casually break up with you when just a year ago he was proposing? You held your mouth shut and started to scream, your body took over and you flailed around the bed like a fish out of water. 

“Asshole,” you yelled, grabbing a pillow off the end you chucked it at his side of the closet. Your knotted hair momentarily blocked your vision, reminding you that you were long overdue for a shower. For about 7 days you had done nothing but cry in bed and eat. Blindly reaching for your phone you attempted to find it. When you finally felt the hard case, you pressed the home screen and checked the time. The bright screen caused you a great deal of pain. You managed to make out that you had over 23 missed calls, all from Johnny and Yuta. A text message caught your eye “Y/n!!! We! Need! To! Talk!” from Johnny. You read, realizing that Doyoung had probably told them already. 

You tossed your phone to the side and thought back to the wretched night. How calm you had seemingly been when he left. Part of you was so upset and distraught at Doyoung for breaking up with you when you were to be married but another part of you didn't care. It felt nice to not be with him because deep down inside you knew that your feelings for Doyoung had faded the past few months, you loved him but not as much as you could have. Sighing you sent Johnny a quick text “Yeah, we do.”

“It was a mutual decision but I was the one who initiated it. We just realized that we weren’t meant for each other,” you explained to Johnny and Yuta with a fake smile. It was hard to act so bravely, you didn’t want to leave the house today but Johnny called you saying he heard from Doyoung that you guys broke up about a week ago. You had spent that whole week laying in your tear stained bed feeling sorry for yourself. 

“Are you serious? So what are you gonna do with the wedding stuff?” Yuta asked curiously. 

He scanned you up and down, trying to search you for any hint of a lie. You gave them both a smile “I decide that I’m gonna donate it all!” You took a sip of your vanilla tea and watched their reactions closely. 

“All of it? But you spent so much on it,” Johnny pointed out with his mouth agape. 

“Yeah, but I was lucky enough to be able to afford all of it. Someone girl out there is about to get married but doesn’t have the money for all the super expensive stuff. I want to give back,” you looked around you. The cafe was filled with a lot of people today. A young couple caught your eye, they looked so happy and in love.

 “Don’t believe it all. He might be cheating on you,” you yelled at them in your head. “You’re such a nice person. I’m going to be honest, I’m really shocked that you called off the wedding. Doyoung really loved you. I’m sad.” Yuta lightly laughed, not realizing the drastic pain his words shot to your heart. 

Johnny nodded his head “Did he beg for a second chance?” Johnny made the entire situation worse. 

“No. It was a mutual feeling.” Your words held no emotion behind them, you felt dead while telling them the lie you had spun for the sake of yours and Doyoungs pride. Johnny and Yuta exchanged a look before nodding. 

“Doyoung was really upset, wasn’t he? And he wanted you to tell everyone it was mutual, didn’t he?” Yuta and Johnny thought they had cracked the code. Except the only thing they cracked was your feelings. 

“As much as I wish I could stay and gossip longer I have some errands to run. So if you don’t mind I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly grabbed your things and left. You didn’t even spare them a second glance, just like Doyoung did to you. A vibration from your phone caused you to open it “Are you kidding me Y/n? Doyoung was such a good guy, how dare you call off the engagement!” Your sister texted. You started to cry as you stared at the bright screen. 

The words echoing in your head “Doyoung wasn’t as good of a guy as you all thought!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. A few passersby stared at you with wide eyes before they started to whisper amongst themselves. “Whatever,” you sent back not even caring what she thought of you at this point. “Why am I the bad guy? This isn’t what I intended,” you mumbled to yourself. “Doyoung is the real bad guy,” you added before finally arriving at the bus stop. You glanced up at the sky which was now greying. “I’ll just run some errands tomorrow. I want to sleep,” you sat down on the bench at waited for it to arrive.

 Your eyes blurred once more with burning tears. You were about to wipe with your hand them when someone held a handkerchief in front of you. Glancing up at the wonder of the hand you locked eyes with a gentle brown color. He shook his hand and glanced at the handkerchief. Most of his face was covered with a scarf but you could still make out his soft features. You slightly smiled before grabbing the handkerchief. More tears started to fall at the kindness of this stranger “thank you and I’m so sorry to bother you,” your voice broke. The stranger's eyes widened “You aren't bothering me, if you were I wouldn’t have done anything,” he pointed out. He lowered his scarf so you could hear him. You folded the handkerchief and stretched out to hand it back to him. You locked eyes with him once more and you felt your heart rate pick up speed. He gave you an adorable gummy smile and took it back.

 “I hope whatever has made you upset will pass,” he smiled, placing the handkerchief back in his pocket. “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated,” you said before a dark blue bus pulled up. You stood up and sent the kind stranger a look. He shook his head and waved goodbye “Bye-“ you waited for him to say his name. “Jungwoo,” He introduced. “Bye Jungwoo and thank you, I’m Y/n” you slowly started to enter the bus. “Bye Y/n I hope your day gets better,” he managed to say before the bus driver shut the door. The driver sent you a scary glare. You hurriedly sat down in a seat and watched Jungwoo as the bus pulled away.

You stared down at the ripped piece of paper in your hand. The address was the same as the building in front of you. Pushing open the door you looked around. After a few seconds, you found the counter. 

“Excuse me?” You asked approaching the coworkers. They both turned around to face you at the same time. You gasped a little when you locked eyes with Jungwoo. “Oh,” he said while staring at you. “How can we help you, miss?” The other one asked without noticing anything. 

You looked at his name tag before speaking up “Hello Lucas. I want to donate this dress but I wanted to make sure that it gets sold for a low price,” you shook your head and pushed aside all your embarrassment from Jungwoo watching you return your wedding dress. 

“Oh god. Are you sure? This dress looks really expensive and new?” Lucas boldly said while taking the dress from you. 

He looked it up and down and sent you another look “Yeah. Can you guys please sell it for a low price?” You asked again wanting to make sure the dress could be sold at a cheap price. 

“Uh yeah. We sure can. May you please out this form,” Lucas handed you a light blue form and a pen. 

The whole time Jungwoo never said anything which kinda scared you. You didn’t know why you cared so much what Jungwoo thought of you but you did. Jungwoo stared at you with sad looking eyes. “All it asks is why you are returning and a few other things,” Lucas continued to perfectly do his job. Jungwoo just stood there in silence. 

You quickly filled out the form and sighed it. “Well if that’s it then I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly handed Lucas the form and rushed out of the store. You felt like crying under Jungwoos intense stare. 

“Wow. I wonder why she is returning a brand new wedding dress?” Lucas said while admiring the dress. Jungwoo looked at it and sighed “I think I know why,” Jungwoo spoke, connecting the pieces together. 

Lucas made a weird sound and turned to look at his quiet coworker “Well spill the beans dude. You can’t just say that and not tell me, man!” Lucas yelled and hit Jungwoos chest in a playful manner. 

“Why else would someone be returning a brand new dress! Her wedding was probably called off for whatever reason,” Jungwoo stared at the door almost waiting for you to appear again. 

“Oh shit, you right. I wonder why?” Lucas questioned, also looking towards the door. 

“I don’t have the answer to that,” Jungwoo simply said before going back to what he was doing before you came. He did his best to focus but your image was clouding his mind. He couldn’t help but wonder, why did your wedding get called off?

It’s not like you actually wanted to go back, you just had a few more things to donate. You silently prayed that Jungwoo would be there again, or Lucas. It would be rather embarrassing see them 2 days in a row, both times you donating your old wedding stuff. You looked down at the big tote bag to make sure that you had everything you wanted. It was a bunch of simple decorations, like the table toppers and a few rief like objects. Pushing open the door you immediately looked at the counter. 

“Welcome back!” Lucas greeted, you felt your cheeks burn red at the way he greeted you. Jungwoo turned around and faced you, he gave you that adorable gummy smile that had been in your head for the past few days and waved. “Hi,” you quietly said, approaching the counter once more. 

Jungwoo had already grabbed the form and a pen for you. You reached out to grab them, your fingers over so slightly brushing against each other. Like they describe in the books and movies, you felt a spark of a foreign emotion shoot through your whole body. Both you and Jungwoo momentarily stopped what you were doing. 

It wasn't until Lucas spoke up “So what you got this time?” that you finally came to your senses. Pulling away from Jungwoo you sent Lucas a small smile. “Decorations, this should hopefully be the last time you see me,” you told them the truth. Jungwoos mouth fell open. He wanted to say something, ask for your number at least, but he knew that you recently called off a wedding and he wanted to be a gentleman. “Why did your wedding get called off?” Lucas asked without missing a beat. Jungwoos eyes widened and he turned to face Lucas with an absolutely dumbstruck look on his face. Lucas felt Jungwoos intense gaze on him and he turned to face the older boy “What?” Lucas asked, confused. 

You started to laugh at the interactions between the two. Despite the fact that they were coworkers they seemed to be really good friends. You scoffed and thought back to the old intern, Jieun. She seemed like such a sweet and innocent young girl. All of the things you did for her when she told you that she and her boyfriend broke up you let her stay at your house for 2 weeks. Were her and Doyoung lying and secretly using the opportunity to hook up? In your own home? You felt your stomach churn at the thoughts, you don't want to say it but you knew it was probably true. 

Lucas looked back at you with his doe eyes, he was clearly waiting for your response. You stopped writing and looked back up at him “We just weren't meant to be,” you simply said. You tried to keep your answer as vague as possible. It was at the point that if you told another person that “you” called off the wedding you would probably break down in tears. It was tiring to tell everyone your lie and have them immediately take Doyoungs side and yell at you for being a bitch. 

Jungwoo bit his lip, he thought for a moment and decided to speak “As long as you're happy. It isn't good to hold things back,” Jungwoo didn't realize how much his words actually applied to you. You awkwardly laughed “Yeah,, I'm getting there,” you honestly told them. Sliding the form and pen back across the counter you handed Lucas the bag and turned to leave. Jungwoo reached his hand out, like you were going to see it, and watched you leave. You stopped at the door for a split second, it was oddly weighing you down to have to leave Jungwoo once more. You shook your head and raised a hand to wave goodbye. Quickly you pushed open the door and were greeted by the sharp cold wind. You sighed and made your way to the bus stop. Jungwoos bright smile ingrained in your head.  

Dragging your feet you prepared yourself for your boss to probably fire you. You stopped in front of the small cafe and wanted to throw yourself off of a bridge. Jieun better be glad that she didn't intern here anymore, otherwise you probably would have poured coffee over her head. Straightening your shoulders you put on a smile and pushed open the glass door. The above rang and your coworkers looked at you like they had seen a  ghost.

 “You're back!” one of them beamed while running over to hug you. “I heard what happened, I'm so sorry,” they added, giving you a tighter hug. You lightly chuckled and hugged back. “Sorry that I kinda abandoned you guys, I needed a little time to recover,” you said. 

“That's reasonable, you just called off your wedding that you had been raving about for weeks,” your bosses stern voice echoed through the cafe. You felt your blood run cold but her words didn't seem to have any malicious intent to them,,, they seemed genuinely caring. 

“I know its a little odd but there was a lot going on behind the scene,” you tried to explain without telling them the truth. Your boss and coworkers simply nodded. “Well L/n you'll have a lot to make up for while you were gone. I expect you to be working extra hard, got it?” she turned her back and prepared herself to go back to the office. You nodded your head so fast you got light headed “Understood,” you jokingly saluted making your coworker laugh. You boss slightly smiled before wiping it off and returning to the office. You rushed to the break room and put on your apron and name tag. 

Returning back you got to work like you hadn't been gone for 2 weeks. The workday went by as it normally would, you were already feeling tired but you kept the smile on your face and focused on making the correct orders. The bell rang and you turned to greet the customer. “Hi welcome-” you stopped speaking and stared like a deer in the headlights. Lucas beamed once he saw you and Jungwoo scratched the back of his neck. 

“Wow Y/n this must be fate!” Lucas boosted, not realizing that you and Jungwoo had met before you two did. Jungwoo laughed at his younger friend words. He cocked his head to the side when he thought about Lucas's words, it was a little odd that you happen to meet on the street, at his work, and now at your work. “I guess so,” you joke while preparing yourself for their orders.

Your coworkers looked between you three “Hey Y/n you gonna tell me who these hotties are orrrr?” you coworker nudged and whispered in your ear. You felt a pang in your heart at her words “Uh, this is Jungwoo and Lucas, I just recently met them,” you half-assedly said. “Nice to meet you two I'm-” you but your coworker off from introducing herself and asked, “How may I take your orders?” Your co-worker didn't see anything wrong with you cutting her off and she started to laugh, thinking that you were doing it as a joke. 

Lucas gave you his big smile and glanced at the menu “Yeah, can I get a double chocolate chip frappe?” he asked. You nodded your head and punched that in, glancing at Jungwoo you blushed when you saw he was already looking at you. You both awkwardly looked away. Coughing Jungwoo started to speak “Yeah uh,, may I get ultra caramel frappe?” he gave you a nervous smile. You nodded your head and punched it in the machine “Will that be all?” you asked. They both nodded, Jungwoo swiped his card, paying for both the orders. They left to sit at a table and wait. 

You decided in that moment that you were going to make the best frappes they had ever had. You worked diligently to make sure that the drinks would taste amazing, you even added a little extra chocolate chip to Lucas’ and caramel to Jungwoos. Calling their name you smiled as they walked up to collect their drinks. “So you work here?’ Jungwoo asked while mentally cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. Lucas whipped is head to look at Jungwoo with a dumbfounded look. You giggled at Jungwoos nervous face and nodded “Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” you told him your work days in hopes that maybe he’d visit. “Really? I'll make sure to come when you're working,” Jungwoo smiled gently at you. His cheeks turned a light pink in happiness. 

Lucas looked between you two before looking like he was realizing something. “Alright Y/n, as much as Jungwoo would love to stay and talk we have to get back to work. Oh and thanks for the dinks, man, they taste amazing,” Lucas laughed at his own words and started to leave the shop. Jungwoo shot Lucas a betrayed look before waving goodbye to you. “Bye Y/n, have a wonderful work day,” Jungwoo said his goodbyes and followed Lucas out of the door. You watched him leave with a content smile. Your co-worker gave you a confused look “Oh my god Y/n don't tell me you called off the wedding because you fell for someone else?” she asked with her mouth agape. You whipped your head to her and gave her a dark stare “I didn't call off the wedding because I liked someone else, I'm not that low,” you didn't mean for your voice to come out as dark, it just did. She seemed to take the hint and went back to work while whistling. You felt bad for snapping but you weren't having any of it.

Punching the order into the cash register you told your co-worker what they wanted so they could get started on that. This day felt like it would never end. It didn't help that it started to horribly, some customer accuse you of spitting in their drink and they demanded to watch the security footage. Then there was the lady who brought her toddler in and blamed you guys when he tripped and fell. Everything seemed to be going wrong and you wanted it to end. Another customer walked in, you grumbled and prepared yourself to deal with another maniac. 

“Hi Y/n,” a soft voice said. You didn't have to look up to know who it was “Jungwoo,” you contently said while looking up to see his charming smile. “Would you like the same as the other day?” you asked. Talking with Jungwoo just seemed so natural and easy. 

He nodded his head “Oh, you remember?” Jungwoo felt a little bashful that you remembered his order. 

“Of course,” you punched it in and asked your coworker to make it. 

Jungwoo noticed your disheveled appearance, he could tell you were tired so he asked: “Has it been a long day?” 

Your shoulders slumped and you nodded your head “Yeah, I don't get why customers blame us for nothing,” Jungwoo nodded in understanding. An idea came into his head, he was just a little nervous to say it. 

Thinking to himself he pushed aside his nerves “What time do you get off?” His word caught you by surprise. 

You fiddled with your fingers “6pm,” you bit your lip and waited to see what he would say next. 

Jungwoo looked away while speaking “Would you mind if I took you out for dinner,,, you really look like you could use it,” he added at the end trying to not make it seem like a date. Even if that's what he wanted it to be. Your tummy feels all warm inside, it had been such a long time since you been out anywhere with a guy. Even towards your last few months with Doyoung you guys didn't really go anywhere or do anything special. Honestly Looking back on it all you should have seen it coming. He became so distant during your last few months and he barely kissed or hugged you.

 Deciding in your head you smiled at Jungwoo “That sounds really amazing, I'd love too.” Your words caught Jungwoo by surprise He was really preparing himself to be rejected. ‘Really?” he stuttered. 

You giggled at his cute flustered reaction “Yes really.” Your coworker handed you his drink and went back to what she was doing. Quietly eavesdropping on your conversation. 

“A,,,alright! I'll stop by when you get off and I'll take you somewhere nice, you won't regret it,” Jungwoo put his hand into a fist and gave you a determined giggle.

 “I'm sure I won't, see you later,” you waved goodbye to him. You couldn't help but feel like a teenage girl again. When you first met Doyoung you were so young and naive, you really thought he was the one for just because he was nice. However, now that you aren't together anymore and you've seen a completely different sid not him you realize that he really wasn't the one for you. You were so caught up in wanting to get married that you didn't really care who you got married too. Your coworker scoffed at the interaction. 

“You literally just broke Doyoungs heart and you're already hooking up with someone else. Y/n don't think I don't know the truth about you, Jieun told me that you kicked Doyoung out without any explanation. He showed up at her doorstep in tears, Jieun is such a nice girl, she and Doyoung are way better together than you,” she thought to herself while watching you closely. 

You quickly spun around and gave her an enthusiastic smile “Did you see that I still have it in me,” you joked while bursting into a fit of giggles. 

She pretended to laugh along with you, “I'm surprised! I really thought you were upset with your breakup, you're recovering very quickly;” her words were laced with venom. Y

ou furrowed your eyebrows “I still am really upset about the whole breakup,, but-” you couldn't exactly tell her the truth so you played around with your words “but,, as I said, Doyoung and I just weren't meant to be. The last few months of our relationship were not the best and it was a mutual agreement to call it off,” you explained, using your hands to help tell the story.

 She nodded her head and sarcastically said: “yeah,, totally.”

The sun was setting, letting this emotion-packed day come to an end. You finished wiping the counter and hardly rushed to the break room. You touched up your hair and makeup and left to go wait for Jungwoo. Exiting the breakroom you were greeted with the sight of Jungwoo adorable rocking back and forth on his heels. His hands were in his sweaters pockets and his bangs messily rested on his forehead. 

“Hi,” you quietly waved at him. Jungwoo looked p and met your eyes, he smiled. 

“Well come on, let me take you somewhere nice,” he giggled at his own awkwardly choice of words. You smiled and followed close behind him, sending one last look to your coworker. 

“Where are we going?” you asked, curiously taking you over. 

“It really isn't the nicest place and it definitely isn't impressive, it's just somehow I find relaxing,” he chuckled. 

“Do you have a jacket? Cause you might get cold,” he added while looking you up and down. 

“Oh,, no,” you rubbed your neck in embarrassment. 

Jungwoo could tell that you felt bad “That's okay! If you get cold you can borrow my jacket,” he didn't realize how much his words would affect you. Your cheeks turned red and you felt your body dance in excitement. You couldn't help but compare Jungwoo to Doyoung.

 At first, Doyoung was sweet and would offer you his jacket but towards the end, he called you an idiot for not bringing one. WIthout thinking the words came out of your mouth “You're a lot nicer than Doyoung,” once the words came out of your mouth you covered your face behind your hand. J

ungwoo cocked his head to the side and looked back at you “Was Doyoung your fiance??” he asked, seemingly unbothered but your sudden words.

 Before you could answer he smiled when a food truck came into view “Ah! I know it's not that amazing but I like to get some food from here and eat it over at that picnic bench,” he pointed to a picnic bench under a tree.

 You giggled at how excited he seemed “I think it is amazing.” You both ordered your food and waited for it to be finished. 

“He was,, we were dating for 2 years and engaged for 1,” you looked over to meet Jungwoos gaze. 

He seemed sad as he spoke “You must’ve really liked him to be in such a long relationship with him,” he pointed out. You let out a laugh in relief. The vendor handed you your food and wished you a nice day. Walking over to the bench you cracked your brain on what to say. It felt like if you told Jungwoo he would leave but something deep inside told you that it was okay to tell him. 

“I did,, he was my entire world and I was ready to give up everything for his happiness,” you felt your eyes water. 

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwoo said while quietly nibbling on his food. 

“Yeah go ahead,” you wiped the tears that were about to fall and stared at him, intently waiting for his question. 

“Why did you guys break up?” he sighed. The silence that took over you guys was kinda heavy. You started to cry, not holding back. The muscles in your face started to tremble, the wall that you had built up thanks to Doyoung came crashing down at Jungwoos gaze. He was taken aback at first but quickly pulled out his handkerchief. The same one he had when you first met. Instead of giving it to you he leaned across the table and dabbed at your tears for you. 

“Its okay, you don't have to tell me if it brings up such bad memories,” Jungwoo seemed like such a caring guy. 

“Can I tell you the truth?” you asked, needing to get everything off of your chest. 

“Of course, your secrets are safe with me,” he gave you a gentle smile and patiently waited. 

“We made a deal the night we broke up. I would tell everyone that I called off the engagement and his secret wouldn't get out. Now everyone thinks I'm some heartless bitch that broke her finances heart 2 months before their wedding. It's the other way around. He cheated on me with one of my old coworkers and he broke up with me to be with her,” you explode with all your raw emotions. Jungwoo held out his arms in response. 

You walked over to him and held him tightly. Shaking against his body your hands clutched at his jacket and you cried. He slowly rocked back and forth, rubbing warm circles on your back. It didn't take long for your tears to sain his sweatshirt but he didn't mind. You rubbed your eyes and looked up at him, linking slowly with your tear-soaked lashes. 

“You haven't told anyone the truth?” he asked in utter disbelief. 

He pulled you closer to him as you spoke “You're the first one. I never even told my own family what actually happened.” You looked up in surprise when you felt something wet fall on your head. Locking eyes with Jungwoo you noticed he was crying. 

“Oh my gosh why are you crying?” you asked while gently wiping away his tears with the pad of your thumb. 

“Because I feel so bad. Y/n I really haven't known you for a long time but you seem like such a nice and wonderful girl and it physically hurts me to see you in pain.” His words hit you like a truck, even when you were at your worst Doyoung was never this caring. 

You were deep in thought, Jungwoos warm arms stayed tightly wrapped around you. It reminded you of the first time you and Doyoung kissed. You had been at a stop picking out snacks to eat while messing around. Being so obnoxious and loud the owner had chased you two out. You can't remember how far you and Doyoung ran or why you even ran so far in the first place. All you knew was that you were having the time of your life, in that moment you had never experienced something more fun. When you finally stopped running you placed your hands on your knees and tried to catch your breath. 

Doyoung couldn't stop laughing at the entire situation, he pulled you in for a hug and rocked back and forth with you in his arms. Once I looked up Doyoung pressed his warm lips to yours and you shared your first kiss together. It was heartbreaking for you to remember. Your lungs felt like concrete had been poured into them, the harder the concrete dried the less you could breathe. 

Thinking about Doyoung, Jungwoos arms didn't feel right wrapped around you. You didn't know what you were doing. You suddenly pushed Jungwoo away from you and went run, tears cascading down your cheeks. Jungwoo called out after you but you kept running until your legs felt like giving out under you. Screaming you let your body fall to the ground, knees bursting in pain at the sudden contact. You choked on your tears, gasping for air you begged for the pain to be over, you begged to feel any emotion other than sadness for once. 

“What am I doing?? Why would Jungwoo like me? We just met and for all, I know he could turn out like Doyoung,” your anxieties spoke in your head. You let yourself believe them because you are so afraid of what would happen if you loved again. Hysterical cries that only stopped when you needed to breath could be heard by anyone that passed by. Kneeling on the cold hard ground you continued to let the sobs take over your body for a few minutes. A few people passed by and completely ignores you, they didn't seem to care about the weird girl on the street. 

Grabbing your phone you shakily dialed Johnny's number. After a few rings he picked up “Johnny can we talk? I need to tell you something,” you said, hoping to meet up with your best friend. After a few seconds of awkward silence Johnny's loud voice spoke “Y/n I'm really sorry but with I'm Doyoung right now, maybe later,” he suggested. Though his words may have suggested otherwise you couldn't feel any remorse in his words. “Forget about it,” you said, hanging up on him. 

Standing up you wiped your puffy eyes and racked your brain over what to do. Your knees felt extremely sore and your entire body was weighing you down. All you wanted was to talk to someone, but none of your friends were on your side. They had all changed their opinions of you after “you” canceled the wedding. Thinking about all the people that you thought were you close friends you mind finally landed on someone. Your dearest coworker, Kyungmin. She was one of the only people that seemed to still like you and she was happy when you told her about Jungwoo. 

Shakily pulling out your phone you scrolled through your contacts in an attempt to find her. She wasn't someone that you had really depended on, the only times you ever talked outside of work were discussing if one of you could cover each other's hours. The few times you did talk about non shift covering things you talked about how rude your boss had been. Not once did you talk about your personal life together. Despite all that you felt like you knew everything about her, working side by side with someone so many days a week you kinda had a bond. Clicking on the call button on your contact you waited for her to pick up. The store would have been closed by now and she probably would have been relaxing in her dorm. 

“Y/n?” she asked, clearly taken back by your sudden call. 

“Kyungmin can we talk??” you could tell that her voice had taken her by surprise, it was obvious that you had been crying. 

“Uhh,, in person or over the phone?” she rolled her eyes, not liking the thought of having to meet up with you. 

“I would prefer it in person but if you can then on the phone is fine,” honestly all you wanted was to be able to talk to someone and tell them what happened and everything that had been going on.

 “I don't think I can meet up right now but go ahead and tell me what's wrong. Did your date with Jungwoo go alright?” you smiled when it sounded like she was genuinely concerned. 

“Gosh, it went perfectly until I messed it up,” sighing you thought back to how happy you had felt. Inhaling a deep breath you began to explain to Kyungmin everything. Starting from the beginning with your breakup. Kyungmin nodded along and seemed like she was actually listening. Once you were done it felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. 

“Y/n,, I'm so sorry,” she said, voice cracking. You thought that she was apologizing for what happened to you so you want to speak up and tell her it was fine when she added “Doyoung and Jieun told everyone that you broke his heart and that he showed up on Jieun's door crying because you kicked him out,” KyungMin explained to you what Jieun told her. “What?!” you shoot up in shock, head spinning at the sudden movement. 

“Yeah, I believed them...maybe that's why no one has been talking to you. As for the Jungwoo thing,, I say you go find him and explain how you were feeling in that moment and why you pushed him away. He sounds like he genuinely likes you...Ill... I'll try and deal with Jieun. Once again Y/n, I am so sorry,” Kyungmin hurriedly hung up the phone. You weren't really sure if she was actually going to “deal” with Jieun like she said she would be you had no choice but to blindly trust her. 

Collecting yourself and clamp down you tried to think of where Jungwoo might be. You didn't have his number and didn't know where he lived so you were kinda screwed. “Should,, should I go to the donation store? Lucas and him seemed close so he might have gone to him to talk things out?” you thought to yourself. Biting your lip you googled the store and dialed the number It rang a few times before a scratchy voice you grew to love spoke up “Gifts that keep on Giving this is Jungwoo speaking, how may I help?” he sniffled a few times signaling to you that he had been crying. Without saying anything you hung up and started to run towards the store. 

Despite the fact that you could count the number of times you’d been to the store on your fingers, you knew how to get to it. “Kim Jungwoo!! I'm so sorry,, I like you Jungwoo!” you screamed, picking up your pace. The pedestrians around you stopped to stare, they were probably wondering why you were acting like a madman but you could care less. “I hurt your feelings and I'm so sorry! I was afraid of you getting close to me and then suddenly leaving like Doyoung did!” you screamed again. It felt rather nice to just scream and get all these bundled up emotions off your chest. “Kim Dongyoung and Lee Ji Eun!! I'm going to kill you, you cheated on me and you make me out to be the bad guy! You made all my friends and family think I was some heartless bitch who kicked you out, whatever happened to our agreement?” You screamed, stopping when the store came into view. The more you ran the smaller your lungs seemed to feel, it had been years since you ran this much. 

You pushed open the glass door so hard it smacked against the wall next to it, making a loud crashing sound. “Jung,,, Jun,, Jungwoo,” you painted, hands on your knees. “Y/n?” Jungwoo and Lucas asked at the same time. Jungwoo rushed over to our side, glancing up at Jungwoo you couldn't help but lightly smile. “I need to-” you started to say before your vision went completely black. Everything around you seemed to fade into a scarily dark void, taking you with them. “Oh shit,” Lucas yelled when you passed out. Jungwoo lunged forward, sliding on his knees he managed to catch you before you hurt yourself by hitting the floor.

”May you please get some water?’ Jungwoo asked Lucas. He picked you up in his arms and carried you to a chair in the breakroom. He immediately noticed you're already scabbed and bruised knees. “Oh, Y/n,, what did you do to yourself?” he questioned despite you being passed out. Seeing you so helpless in his arms once again made him want to burst into tears. After what felt like hours Lucas finally returned with a glass of water. Jungwoo took the cup from him and carefully parted your lips so he could pour the water. His free hand tilted your head up, helping you swallow. Your eyes closed tighter and your body started to stir.

 “Oh gosh,” you mumbled, raising a hand to your forehead. “Y/n! You're awake,” Jungwoos big dopey smile appeared on his face. You opened your eyes and hazily blinked up at the cute boy. His face was rather close to yours as he peered down at you. All the events that had led to this moment gave you a surge of confidence that would have never surprise. 

Pulling down you brought his face closer to yours and placed an intense kiss on his lips. existed in any other situation. You wrapped your arms around Jungwoos neck, catching him but Almost like they were made for each other your lips molded together perfectly, it felt like all the cliches movie kisses exploded in your stomach. It took Jungwoo a moment to process what is happening when his brain finally did his cheeks heated up redder than a cherry. He finally returned the kiss, his hands brushed some hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss even more by lightly biting your lip. Gasping heavily you pulled away for air, giggling while you took in Jungwoos disheveled appearance. You couldn't help but notice his red puffy eyes, you softly used the pad of your thumb to brush away some tear droplets that hung around his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain. I didn't mean to, I was just so scared about everything that's happening. It felt like everything was moving so fast and I couldn't help but think of Doyoung. Jungwoo these past few weeks you have done nothing but cheer me up and support me endlessly, more than Doyoung did in the entirety of our relationship. You have shown me what it's like to be loved again and I want you to know I returned the feelings,” your voice was low and airy as you were still gasping for air. 

Lucas who had been standing in the back watching this all happen gasped and crept away, back out into the shop so he didn't have to continue watching that. “Gross,” he mumbled to himself as he thought back to the intense kiss you two shared right in front of him. “Nasty,” he added while shaking his head. Jungwoo turned as he sensed his best friend leaving. Turning back to face you he began to giggle, he helped you sit up. 

“Y/n I don't know what it is about you but something just keeps pulling me in. I'll admit, it's kinda scary. I don't know what the futures hold but what I do know is that I want the future to involve you,” he said while leaning in to place a gentle and warm kiss on your partially swollen lips. “Jungwoo,” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes for the millionth time that night.Jungwoo  softly laughed, his voice cracked as he spoke:

 “Don't cry.” Despite his own words he started to cry along with you. Soon the shop was filled with your loud sobs and Lucas’ comments. The sound of your phone ringing snapped you out of your crying fest. Your hands shook as you fiddled with it. A look of confusion spread across your face when you saw who was calling, answering the phone you were even more surprised by the words that came through. 

“Johnny?” you asked recalling the last time you spoke to your best friend. 

“Is it true?” he asked in a sharp voice. 

“Is what true?” you played dumb at his words. 

“Did Doyoung really cheat on you?’ he asked feeling the urge to cry. He couldn't believe that he believed some guy he barely knew over his own best friend, he felt like a total douche. 

“Oh,, so the truth is out now,” you took a moment to look at Jungwoo before you smiled and continued. 

“Doyoung did cheat on me, he suddenly broke up with me and explained that he had spent the past few months of his life with Jieun and he loved her. I felt so embarrassed about the wedding being called off that I asked if we could have everyone believe that I was the one who called it off and that it was a mutual decision. I didn't know that he and Jieun would go around telling that lie. I'm sorry I never told you the truth,” as you spoke Jungwoo grabbed your hand caringly. 

“God Y/n,, I'm the one who should be sorry, not you. I can't believe I actually thought you broke Doyoungs heart, I should have known better. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me,, and Yuta?” he asked, voice cracking. Y

ou nodded your head even though he couldn't see you “Of course I'll forgive you. Besides don't be to saddened about Doyoung and I’s break up,, I've found someone who genuinely loves me and I could ask for more,” you said while staring into Jungwoos eyes. 

His eyes sparkled with excitement “Hey Johnny I have to go,, talk to you later,” you said while hanging up the phone. 

“I really am sorry that I ran away earlier. I couldn't get the memory of what Doyoung did out of my head and I got really scared, I thought maybe you were playing a trick on me. Then I realized that you are a genuinely nice guy and it was my own insecurities turning you into someone who you are not,, Jungwoo I,,, I think I'm in love with you?” you looked up from the floor and into his eyes once more. 

Jungwoo gulped at your words, he pulled you into his chest and rubbed your back soothingly. His scent was so intoxicating you almost didn't listen to what he had to say. 

“Y/n I know I'm in love with you. Ever since I first saw you waiting for the bus, I knew there was something special about you,” he said while holding you even tighter. Jungwoo cradled you in his arms like he was afraid of letting go. You signed into his warm embrace. 

“Since I haven't officially asked you yet. Y/n would you like to be my girlfriend?” he pulled away and peered down at you. A big smile grew on your face and you rapidly nodded your head “I would love that,, It would be an honor, you giggled and kissed Jugnoo again. Kissing him was something you knew you'd never get tired of, his lips were so magnetic and tasted like sweet nectar. 

“I uh hate to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment here and all but uh,, I need to close up,” Lucas’ loud voice boomed through the small dim lighted room. He scratched the back of his neck as he stared at the both of you. You both started to laugh at Lucas’ words. 

“Yeah sorry about that,” Jungwoo and you started to stand. 

“Y/n would you like to stay over at my place tonight?” he asked with an arm around your waist. Your heartbeat quickened at his word and you shyly nodded your head “I would love too.”

Fiddling with the flower and pearl clip in your hair you swayed side to side. Kyungmin giggled as she watched you from her place at the vanity. 

“Y/n don't worry! Everything will be fine,” she quietly encouraged you. You turned around slowly, using your hands to help you swerving in the dress. 

“Are you sure? What if he sees me and just decides to leave-” you were about to list of all the horrible things that could go wrong when Kyungmin interrupt you. 

“If you keep focussing on the ‘What if’ moments  then you won't be able to enjoy the current moments.” She stood up and approved your shaky figure, taking your hand in hers she stared deeply into your eyes. 

“Y/n Jungwoo loves you more than anything in this world and that's pretty obvious to any stranger that happens to walk past you two. He isn't going to leave, he isn't Doyoung,” she stated while trying to get it in your head. You felt your shoulders relax, you started to jump up and down in excitement. 

“Oh my gosh Kyungmin I'm getting married!” you yelled. You both started to squeal and scream, jumping in a circle together while swinging your hands back and forth.  

“My best friend is getting married!” Kyungmin screamed at the top of her lungs. The lady who was doing your makeup giggled as she stared at you both, she shook her head and remembered back to the day of her wedding. A loud knock on the door caused you both to freeze in place. Kyungmin quietly walked over and opened it up just a crack.

 “Oh, babe!” she said while opening it all the way and engulfing Lucas in a big hug. “Jungwoo is super nervous and wanted me to check up on you two,” he said while smiling down at Kyungmin.

 “I think it's clear that you are doing fine. No cold feet?” he pointed out while laughing at the scene he had just heard through the door. 

“Hey Y/n!” Lucas yelled while running up to you, careful not to step on your dress.

 “Guess what,” he said while giving you a teasing smile. Kyungmin had approached you tow, cruises as to what he was going to say. He grabbed your hand with one hand and grabbed Kyungmins with the other. Swinging your guys' arms he yelled at the top of his lungs “You're getting married!” and started to jump in a circle. All three of you giggled as you danced in a circle, rejoicing. 

“I can't believe this is happening, you cried out in joy. Lucas flopped back on the couch and stared at you with doe eyes. 

“Thank you. Jungwoo has always been a shy and timid boy until he met you. I've never seen him so glowing before,” his voice was soft, it was a drastic change form the normal Lucas you had grown to know and love. 

“Of course. You have an amazing best friend, you know,” you said while sighing. “Everyone get into positions,, its time,” one of the workers said. Kyungmin and Lucas left the room hand n hand. You pushed all your nerves aside and waited for your cue to walk down the aisle. 

With your arm wrapped with who was walking down the aisle, you took a deep breath and pushed open the door. With tears in your eyes, you scanned the crowd. Johnny and Yuta stood next to Lucas at the top as groomsmen, Kyungmin next to Johnny and Yutas girlfriends as bridesmaids. You tried to calm your beating heart as you slowly walked down the aisle. Your eyes carefully to skimmed over the crowd in fear of looking at Jungwoo. 

You gasped quietly and then beamed when your eyes landed on a familiar face. “They did come,” you thought as you smiled at Doyoung and Jieun. Despite everything that they had done to you, you invited them to your wedding. Doyoung looked you up and down with a proud smile. Breaking eye contact with Doyoung you finally looked at Jungwoo. 

Jungwoos hand was hiding his face as the stars rapidly cascaded down your cheeks. “You look stunning,” he mouthed making you lightly laugh. You wiped your own tears and carefully stood in front of him. All of your memories flashed through your head, you couldn't believe you had fallen in love with the cute boy at the bus stop who offered you his handkerchief. Your ears tuned in and out of the justice of the peace words as you stared at your handsome soon to be husband. 

Holding the paper tightly Jungwoo began saying his vows. Once he was done you ripped your tears and read yours in return. 

The justice of the peace smiled and asked: “Do you, Kim Jungwoo take Y/n as your lawfully wedded wife?” Jungwoo inhaled a deep breath and nodded “I do.” 

“Do you Y/N L/N take Jungwoo as your lawfully wedded husband?” You didn't even have to think for a month. Your heart screamed in joy as you said this destined two words, the words you thought you were going to say for Doyoung. “I do.” Everyone was ready to clap as the justice of the peace finally said. 

“I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” he took a step aside. Jungwoo reached out and pulled you into him, your body pressed flush against his. Like the first time you ever kissed, fireworks erupted in your stomach and you giggled into the kiss. 

Pulling away every clapped and cheered. Kyungmin gave Lucas a warm smile while Johnny and Yuta high-fived. Doyoung and Jieun signed and held their hands together tighter. 

You were entering a new chapter of your life, one that you were not familiar with and you were more than happy that it was Jungwoo who would write it with you. 

[bambamsgotjams]

Badboy!Chan

okay so i’ve had this idea in my google docs for a long time now

and for some reason i just never got around to completing it???

so i hope you all enjoy it because it’s been in here for months and its time for me to start posting more content on my blog

chan is basically known as the scariest man on the university campus

well maybe not the scariest

but defiantly the most intimidating guy you’ll ever meet

what really gives off his intimidating vibe is mainly all of the dark clothing and chains he’s seen wearing around campus

like he basically lives in ripped jeans, leather jackets, and dark tshirts

he has some pretty curly gray hair that looks really nice with his tan skin

omf imagine this

bad boy bang chan with an eyebrow piercing

omg i would live for that

if it wasn’t for the fact that almost every student was terrified of him

all the ladies would probably be pinning over him and probs some of the men too tbh bc chan is a looker

but anyways chan is lowkey kind of offended that everyone is too scared to talk to him because he really isn’t that bad of a guy

his whole life he just kind of grew up with this thought that everyone loved bad boys

thats basically what his high school days taught him

but it turns out that he didn’t really need to change from his normal cute self to this bad boy but it was a little too late for that because everyone already had this attitude that chan was not someone anyone should mess with

he has a couple good friends that don’t mind him for his personality like his roommate woojin who knows the real chan after living with him in a dorm for almost 3 years

and new freshman changbin who looks up to chan and tries to act like a bad boy too but according to everyone else he fails and is basically just like a small kitten

and then savage smarty pants minho who could really careless about wtf chan wears and does

as long as he isn’t doing something stupid or something that he’ll regret because minho really does care about him a lot but he’d never admit that publicly

woojin, minho, and changbin are really the only friends that chan has and even though he wishes people would stop looking down upon him for his outside appearance he really does love and cherish the friends that he has

so basically half way though every year the student body holds this big ass part to celebrate finishing their finals

and even though there really should be adult supervision the professors and administration could care less

so you can basically put the pieces together and figure what kind of shit goes down

ding ding ding

thats right

lots of horny teenagers and alcohol

chan and woojin would normally go together for a couple minutes before everything turns into chaos

but this year the decided that for some goddamned reason that they would stay for a little longer

mainly to make fun of the way some of the drunk students would dance or act stupid and stuff

minho decided to stay in and work on homework minho you nerd

and changbin had been invited off campus for the weekend by his best friend felix to go check out this new arcade that was just put in a mall strip in their hometown

and this is where you come in fellow reader

you were just a new transfer student who had just finished their first sophomore semester on a brand new campus

you had tagged along with your roommate and her friends to the campus party

and wow were you overwhelmed

you guys had arrived at the party just as the chaos had started

and basically almost everyone there was either already tipsy or just flat out wasted

you had tried your best to stay close to your roommate so you wouldn’t get lost

but the crowd of people was just so pushy and everyone was literally all over the place so you did end up getting separated

for the sake of trying to stay away from the madness you headed off to the side of a small bar table and sat down on one of the benches

there wasn’t a whole lot of people around there expect for a couple playing a shot game, the bartender sighing because he rather would be doing something else, and these two boys who didn’t look too much older than you

one with dyed blonde hair who wore a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey hoodie

the other in all black with a silver chain, grey hair, and a very hot eyebrow piercing

you ended up making eye contact with the later and his gaze on your own made your blood pulse

he look kinda intimidating with his outer appearance but his eyes looked soft and inviting

you looked away and broke eye contact with him and you were basically blushing as red as a ripe strawberry

after a few more minutes of you just sitting at the bar watching everyone having fun

this weird smelling boy walked right up in front of you and flashed you a gummy looking smile

his body smelled terribly of alcohol and you wanted nothing more than to get out of there knowing that something bad was gonna happen

but of course the boy just had to speak up and pull you away, asking you to dance with him

you wanted so badly to object his offer but his grip on your arm was strong and you weren’t exactly the strongest girl yourself

he pulled you into the crowd of students dancing and he too began to dance around you

well more like he was dancing on top of you

you just kind of stood there as stiff as a pole and you were frozen in shock not knowing how to respond

it wasn’t until you felt him starting to grope your body when you tried slipping away

but he was too quick and held tightly onto your waist

you could feel him starting to slightly grind his body against yours and you were like

“yep this is how im gonna die”

you kindly asked the man to stop but he didn’t answer you so you got a little bit louder until you were basically yelling at him to stop

and then you felt him being ripped off your body

you were confused for a second and then turned around to see what exactly was happening

there was the boy who had been harassing you lying on the ground as the very attractive gray haired boy from the bar had his fist raised

the boy on the ground was huddled into fetal position with a red mark on his cheek

everyone around you turned to see what all the yelling was about and stopped to watch as your savior continued to beat up the boy

he only stopped once he saw your terrified eyes looking at him

he cursed to himself and looked to the boy on the ground back over to you before walking up to you and asking if you were okay

you stared at him in shock because wow this boy was even prettier up close

but also he did just beat the shit out of a boy on the ground

asshole deserved it

you nodded your head quickly and thanked him

you noticed as the grey haired boy suddenly started to become nervous and flustered as he rubbed the back of his neck

“c-can i walk you back to your dorm,,,,,you know,,,,in cause something else happens”

he suddenly would look less and less of a bad boy and more as a soft little lamb

you gave him a cute innocent smile and agreed to allow him to walk you back

he hesitantly reached for your hand and walked you back into the direction of the bar where the blonde boy stood smirking at the two of you

gray haired boy leaned over and whispered something in the blonde’s ear before leading you away, the blonde boy whistling behind him

you watched as the gray haired boy flushed pink

once you were a good feet away from the party the gray haired boy let go of your hand and apologized

you shook your head and told him there was no need to be sorry

the whole walk home he basically talked to you about how much he hates parties but was only there to watch the people for entertainment

you learned that his name was chan and that he was kind of known as this intimidating bad boy on the campus

but you were like ??? i don’t see it??? especially after how cute and flustered he was acting around you

and you too felt the need to tell him a little bit about you like what your name was and how you were a new transfer student and that you lost your roommate in the crowd and stuff

chan acted a little sympathetic towards you and then with a smile offered to show you around campus sometime

and of course you agreed because honestly who wouldn’t agree to spending the day with a really attractive man

and with that you arrived at your dorm

but you didn’t part ways without getting his number first,,,

everything after that seemed to escalate pretty quickly

you didn’t really understand why people chose to be afraid of chan without getting to know him first because he was truly a really sweet guy

you also become pretty close friends with woojin and changbin

it took minho a little bit to warm up to you but according to chan he’s just a pretty cautious guy who would do anything for his friends

besides chan you probably got along with changbin the best with both of you having a mutual admiration for chan

apparently you were pretty oblivious to the way chan treated you

according to woojin’s words chan was absolutely whipped for you

and you didn’t really believe it at first because why would chan like this average college student who couldn’t even afford to buy ramen

but it turns out that woojin was right

chan started doing little things in hopes of making you fall for him and understand his feelings

like he would go out of his bad boy character to the flower shop down the road and buy you cute little daisies

which you really admired and appreciated

after a couple months of pining after you and woojin practically forcing him to declare his undying love for you he finally confessed

he took you to the local coffee shop and told you everything he felt

and lucky for him you returned his feelings

bad boy chan as a boyfriend would be so cute omg

he would be pretty protective over you and always offer to walk you to your classes even though it would make him late to his own

which he didn’t mind because the teachers already expected that out of him

he would always lend you his hoodies and leather jackets if you got cold

and omg they would be large on you and his heart would melt at the way they just seemed to swallow you whole

you were the best thing that had ever happened to chan and he loved that you weren’t quick to judge him for his appearance

and you accepted him for who he was and made him feel like he didn’t have to look dark and menacing for people to like him

when he first introduced you to his family they immediate opened up to you

they loved how much you cherished and appreciated their son for who he was and the way he was

you found out from his little sister that you were the first girlfriend that her channie oppa had ever had

and he was a blushing mess as he tried to keep her quiet

you simpily giggled and kissed his cheek telling him that you felt honored to be big bad channie’s first girlfriend ;)

being with chan had really changed you just as you did with him

he no longer felt the need to hide his real self away from people and he actually made an attempt to talking to people first

which of course did freak them out because everyone still had this strange fear over him

but seeing chan with an average girlfriend did get people to warm up to him better

especially after they saw how sweet and caring he was towards you

and honestly bad boy chan would just be literally the best boyfriend ever i dare you guys to fight me on this

[maknaesdancersrappers]

devoted.

Jung Jaehyun || yandere!au(ish?), thriller(???), smut (im sure about this one lol), cursing, some pretty dark shit is under that keep reading line

word count: 9k

devoted masterlist

T R I G G E R  W A R N I N G.

A/N: i usually make a sideblog for scenarios and imagines but i cant commit to writing often //sighs at exo and svt fic blogs// so i’d rather post it on my main tumblr than on my AFF account which is strictly for memberxmember only (author name is on the gif lmao i got too lazy to edit it to my tumblr url) so here’s some jaehyun smut for all his hoes, me included.

P.S. this is based off my dream the other night and i deadass almost had a panic attack from it

As a boyfriend, Jaehyun was… devoted.

It was a mutual decision; a decision he had voiced out first, but later on deeply regrets.

Jung Jaehyun meant well when he had asked to take a break from your relationship because the final months of university was harder than both of you thought. You simply had no time for each other, especially since you come from two very different courses.

It’s been almost 4 years since you two began dating, thanks to that one Gen Ed subject you miraculously shared together during freshman year. If he hadn’t been late and ended up sitting beside you, neither of you would have crossed paths again.

Jaehyun loves you, he was completely smitten that day you had accidentally swung your head to him a little too strongly and caused your hair to whiplash against his face when all he asked was for the professor’s name to put on his forms.

And you love him, ever since he had flashed his signature dimpled smile, chuckling away your apologies for having smacked his face with your hair.

From pair works in class that turned to study sessions at the library, that turned to spending breaks together at the quad, that turned to dinner dates at the nearest pizzeria, and by then all of your friends can tell that you and Jaehyun weren’t just friendly classmates anymore.

As a boyfriend, Jaehyun was… devoted. He doted you; he made sure he showed how much he loves you every second that he can. It was cute at first, until you got used to it. It had never been a bother or a burden, no matter how many times your friends would point out it was starting to be creepy. But you always shrugged them off, saying it’s simply how Jaehyun was.

First week

“You and Jae?” Ten repeats, “Are taking a break from each other?” He scoffs and nudges Doyoung, “Are you hearing this?”

“Wait, I must have something in my ears.” Doyoung sticks a finger into each ear and pretends to clean them, “Okay, can you repeat that again, (Y/N)?”

You roll your eyes at them and Yebin throws her used tissues at the boys, “Ignore them, (Y/N.) But I’m just as surprised as they are. Are you and Jaehyun really taking a break?”

“Taking a break, in our definition, is not expecting dates every other night, texting or calling during breaks, you know, the usual things we do. And if by some miracle, we bump into each other, we’d just, smile, I guess.”

“Oh thank fuck, no more kissing like you haven’t seen each other in years.” Doyoung groans, only to screech when Yebin kicks his shin under the table.

“I bet you won’t last halfway the semester. Give or take a month?” Ten shrugs his shoulders.

Doyoung snorts, “I bet you won’t last a week.”

“It was his idea and we both agreed to it. We’re graduating soon and we both promised to do our absolute best for the last semester, so we’re getting rid of distractions.”

Ten hums, “It’s just unlike him to suggest it.”

You pout at him, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“He worships the ground you walk on.” Doyoung says in a tone like it was the most obvious thing that existed. “He worships you.”

“He’s just affectionate.” The bell rings, “And we’ll be late for class.” You stand up from your seat and they follow suit.

Third week

It took a while for you to get adjusted to the fact you’re on a break with Jaehyun. There were plenty of times you had to stop yourself from texting him to ask how he was or if he’s up to eat out together. When there was a knock on your apartment door, you had imagined it was him and not the food delivery you forgot about.

One fateful Friday, none of your subjects had given out homeworks to slave on during the weekend and Yebin had demanded for a mandatory and much needed girl’s night out at the new bar outside of campus. You were fine with the idea, until one of your friends, Minkyung, had took it upon herself to dress you up.

“No.” You automatically told her the second her hand reached for the last dress on the rack in your closet. It was probably the shortest dress you had owned. Despite its sweetheart neckline and flowy cloth, the A-line dress was cut off just above your thighs. It wasn’t the best dress to wear on windy days, to say the least. “That’s too short.”

“It’s cute and sexy!”

“But Jae–”

Minkyung cuts you off with a snap, “Last time I checked, you and Jaehyun are currently on break. Let your legs and ass breathe while they can. You’ve kept your best assets in pants or baggy shorts because Jaehyun doesn’t like it when guys ogle them.”

“Uhm, I don’t like being ogled by other guys, too.” You weakly shot back but she had already forced the dress on you and pushed you to the bathroom.

It didn’t take long for the three of you to get ready and hop into a cab that took you to the bar Yebin had not shut up about days prior from tonight. It was the typical bar set up, with booths surrounding the dance floor with 3 bartenders manning the bar and serving up cocktails one after the other.

Minkyung was fast enough to secure a booth for the three of you and you slip inside while Yebin ordered some drinks.

You realize that it’s been a long time since you were able to go out with them like this. You had always spent your free time with Jaehyun and although you missed him, this was a nice change, too.

Halfway through the night and six margaritas and 3 shots of tequila later, Minkyung and Yebin had coaxed you onto the dance floor. Intoxicated, you sway your body to the beat, laughing and singing along with your girls. You abruptly stop when a hand glides down from your waist to your hips.

“Excuse me, but I have a boyfriend.” You slurred a bit, but stood your ground to glare at the boy that felt you up.

“Really? Where is he then? Hm?”

You size him up quickly, he was shorter than Jaehyun but had Johnny’s built.

“It’s called a girl’s night out, jackass, so fuck off.” Yebin pulls you away but he grabs your arm and you cry in pain.

“I wasn’t talking to you, short stuff.” He hisses at Yebin, who responds with a harsh stomp on his foot.

Minkyung and Yebin whisks you away from him while he cusses at her.

“Are you okay? God, some guys are just jerks.” Minkyung snarls, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry for spoiling our night out.” You reassured her.

“You didn’t spoil it, babe. That jackass did. Besides, we’ve had one too many to drink, we should head on home.” Yebin pulls out her phone and books an Uber for the three of you.

Hangovers are the worst. Usually, Jaehyun would have prepared you some painkillers and a decent breakfast, but today, you and your roommates ate cereal in front of the television with the volume down low.

“I feel like shit. Are we too old to enjoy getting wasted already? Shit!” Yebin cries, clutching her head with one hand while jamming a spoonful of soggy cornflakes into her mouth.

“Someone ask somebody to bring us painkillers. My head is killing me.” Minkyung whines, rubbing her temples.

You grab your phone and to text Doyoung, who instantly replied with his dismay of your state but will still bring over some painkillers.

The television suddenly sounds an alarm, making all three of you groan and cover your ears.

“Breaking News from Seoul Central University. Finance student, Kim Iljung, 22, was found beaten up outside a bar on the outskirts of the campus. The victim reported that he was ambushed from behind with a bat and was not able to see his assailant.”

“(Y/N), isn’t that the guy that felt you up?” Minkyung points out and you look at the ID photo the news report flashed.

“Oh shit, yeah. Oh my god.” You gasp as the reporter described the injuries the boy had sustained.

“Kim claims that he does not know who did this and the reason behind it. He is currently recovering in the campus hospital and is working with the campus police to catch his assailant.”

“Serves him right for molesting (Y/N)! Karma’s a bitch.” Yebin says, drinking the leftover milk from her bowl.

“Karma or not, it’s scary. To be randomly assaulted like that? What if one of us were in his place?” You visibly shuddered. “I mean, who could do something like that?”

Ninth week

You’ll be having your period soon.

You know this because on top of craving all sorts of food twentyfour-seven and experiencing drastic mood swings to your friend’s unfortunate luck, you had to deal with a need that Jaehyun knew all too well to handle. But you haven’t contacted him as part of the conditions of taking a break which only meant you had to take care of yourself.

It was half past midnight when you were sure your roommates were in deep sleep in their respective rooms that you decided to lock your room and raise the volume of the music you usually played at night just a tad louder in case you got a little too vocal.

You haven’t touched yourself in a long time. And even if you had, it was under the predatory gaze of your boyfriend.

Play with yourself. He’d command and you would automatically open your legs and obey.

Everything felt tentative and unsure while your hands ran up and down your naked body. Your mind conjured up scenarios of all the times you and Jaehyun had fooled around and finally, your hand made its way to your core. Sighing, you circle your clit with the tip of your forefinger and shudder at the sensation.

You bite down your lower lip when you attempt to slip your finger inside you. After a few pumps, you slip in a second finger and a moan escapes you accompanied by your boyfriend’s name.

Yes, baby, that’s it. You could practically hear him whisper the words.

“Shit.” You remembered the last time you and Jaehyun masturbated with each other. Much like how you were lying down on your bed with your legs spread out and fingers knuckle-deep inside you, you imagined Jaehyun seated at the chair by your study table, with his large hand wrapped around his cock. You whimpered when you remembered how his eyes watched your fingers disappear inside you.

“A-ah.” You softly cry when you pump faster and harder, trying to match the speed and force Jaehyun had always used on you, but ultimately failed. You plant your feet on the mattress and lift your hips up when you finally feel yourself find the pleasure you’ve been craving for. “Jae.” You whine as your other hand squeezed one of your boobs.

There was a low groan that echoed into the room and for a split second you thought you had imagined it, but it sounded all too real and all too close for it to be a fragment of your imagination. You shoot up from the bed, your hands grabbing the sheets to cover your body as your eyes dart to the window to see a shadow move across it.

Fear seizes your heart, but you had to confront it. As quickly as you can, you run to your window and open it. Your dorm was on the second floor and if there was someone who had seen you, he was fast enough to go down the fire escape. But you shake it off, hoping it was nothing but your imagination.

You close the window before you can catch a cold, not noticing the gooey, white substance splattered on the window pane.

Sixteenth week

Finals were next week and you were at your wits end. You were neck deep in stress and you were desperate to release it. You were in no mood to drink and the girls had their own finals to study for. As you walked home late at night from the library, you stop in front of the university gymnasium.

It had been a while since you’ve went swimming.

You quit the team when you learned that Jaehyun quit the basketball team to make time for you.

The pool would have long been closed by now, but that’s not gonna stop you from sneaking in. You jumped the fence after checking no one was around and made your way to the building where the pool was.

The janitors always kept a spare key inside the emergency fire hose and with that, you successfully entered the indoor swimming pool.

The pool lights were left on as usual and you drop your bags to the side, your clothing following them soon after.

With only your matching red underwear, you slowly slip into the pool, half-moaning and half-whining at the cold water enveloping your body. When your body adapted to the coldness, you dive down and swim close to the tiled floor. From under the water, you look up and panicked when a blurred black mass stood at the side of the pool, causing you to resurface.

“Jesus Christ!” You gasp when you realized who it was. “Jaehyun!” You scolded, “You scared me!”

“Sorry.” He chuckles, lowly, pulling out one of his earbuds from his ear and letting it fall out from the hoodie of his jacket.

“How did you even know I was here?”

“I was out for a jog when I saw you jump the fence.” Once he said that, you noticed he was wearing his usual running clothes. There were a few beads of sweat sliding down his face and his breath was a little ragged. He squats down and offers you a half smile, “If anything, I should be asking you why you’re sneaking into the pool after closing time.”

You bite your lip and swim towards him. “The past weeks have been hard on me and I need to destress. Won’t you help me, Jae?”

His eyes darkened despite the pool lights shining in them. “I don’t think that’s how taking breaks from a relationship works, (Y/N).”

“We’ve made it this far, Jae. Can’t we cheat this break thing?”

“(Y/N)” He warns.

“Please, Jae. For me?” You unconsciously bat your lashes at him and he sighs.

“I don’t have my swimming trunks.”

You giggle at him, “If you haven’t noticed, I’m in my underwear.”

He watches you a little bit more and you thought he was hesitating, so you reach up and unzip his jacket for him. “Do you need help or are you going to let me play by myself?”

That made him smirk and he rises from the ground, discarding his jacket and peeling his shirt away.

Your mouth went dry at the sight of seeing his body again and it made you almost guilty to feel so sexually deprived for the past months. He pushes his running shorts down and reveals his boxers.

Your teeth bite down on your lips again when he kicks his shoes off and smirks at you before diving head first into the water. You swim backwards, trying to tease him as he swims to you from underneath. He resurfaces right in front of you the second your back hits the side of the pool.

Jaehyun wipes away the excess water off his face while you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“Hi.” You whisper, laughing when he flashes you a smile as you helped pushed his wet hair back.

“Hi.” He breathes, grabbing onto your thighs and guiding your legs around him. “So you needed to destress?”

You nod your head, sliding the hand that pushed his hair back down the side of his face. “How are you gonna help me?”

He pulls your hips closer and grinds his erection against your clothed sex, eliciting a silent gasp from you. “I can think of a few things.”

“C-care to show me?” You stuttered, unable to say anything else as Jaehyun continues to gyrate his hips into you.

For the first time in months, you kissed each other.

The open kiss was messy and sloppy, and it was desperate, needy, and hungry. You clawed his bare back, looking for support as you slid down his body. In response, he pushes you against the side of the pool, the corner biting into your back had hurt but you couldn’t care less. His tongue had invaded your mouth, stroking your own as one of his hands roughly grab your breasts, pushing above the water’s surface.

You throw your head back, resting it against the poolside as Jaehyun clumsily thumbs your hardened nipple and trails a sloppy kiss from your cheek, to your jaw, and stopped short on the side of your neck.

Just as you slowly lose yourself with Jaehyun’s actions, a high pitched whistle hurls you back to reality.

“Shame on you two, fucking in a public pool.” Deep laughter follows afterwards.

Your eyes snap to the entrance where a group of boys watched in amusement. Humiliated, you hide yourself using Jaehyun’s body who shielded you nonetheless.

“Do you mind?” He snaps at them, defensively putting his arms around you.

“Yeah, man, we do mind.” One of them hollers, “We wanted to swim in sperm-free water.”

You flinch when they laugh once more, “Jae, let’s just go.”

He doesn’t react immediately; dark eyes glaring straight to the space behind you. His breathing had slowed and became heavy.

“Jaehyun,” You cup his cheek and make him face you, “Baby, let’s just go.”

It takes him another second to react. He closes his eyes and kisses your forehead. “Okay.”

The guys didn’t pay attention to either of you anymore as they jumped into the far end of the pool. Jaehyun helped you get out of the pool and instinctively, he checked on the guys as he got out after you. Just as he expected, one of them was checking you out while you bent over to grab your things.

“Hey!” He shouts, “I’d appreciate it if you stopped checking my girlfriend out.”

“Can’t help it, man. No wonder you can’t keep your hands off of her.” You see him look at you once more in an overly appreciative manner that made you shudder. On the corner of your eye, you can see Jaehyun tense up and ball his fists. “Jaehyun, leave him alone. It’s not worth our time, come on.”

“Do her real good, man!”

It took all your strength to hold Jaehyun down before he can even properly react. “Baby, please, I just want to go home.” You almost begged him and he finally relented.

Snatching your clothing up, both of you head for the locker rooms to dress before leaving the premises.

“Let me walk you home.” Jaehyun pulled you to his side after seeing you shiver.

After a while, he quietly says, “I’m sorry about those dickheads.”

“It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s the universe saying we shouldn’t be cheating on taking a break.” You huddled closer to him. “But I really miss you, Jae.”

“I miss you, too.” He plants a kiss on the top of your head. “We have a week left. I think we can hold out until then.”

“Until then? Hold out, what exactly?” You tease, spinning on your heels as you arrive to the doorstep of your apartment.

He leans down and kisses the spot between your jaw and your ear. “What could have happened back in the pool and so much more in the privacy of our homes.” His whisper was deep and low, tickling your ear and making you pull away with a short laugh.

“I can’t wait, then.” You let him kiss you on your lips. “Get home safely, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry for not helping you destress.” Jaehyun slightly pouts at you and you smile at him.

“I had this time with you.” You shrugged your shoulders, “It helped.”

“You can always play with yourself again.” He chuckles under his breath. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And with one last kiss, he walks away.

You turn around and reach for the door, but realization hits you before you can turn the knob.

Did Jaehyun say… ‘again’?

Seventeenth week

You were finally through with exams and all you had to do now was wait for graduation. Jaehyun still had one last exam to finish in the afternoon, as Ten told you, so you guys, along with your roommates and Doyoung, decided to go to the mall.

When everyone grew tired of window shopping, Doyoung had suggested to head over to the arcade. Yebin had challenged Ten to breaking the high score on the basketball games while Minkyung had devoted herself into getting the large minnie mouse tsum tsum in the claw machine.

“Let’s play air hockey like old times!” You pulled Doyoung by his arm.

“Right! So I can beat you, like old times.” He laughs and avoids being shoved by you.

“We’ll see about that.”

He swipes the arcade card into the air hockey machine and the puck pops out in front of you. You place the puck onto the table and grip the striker.

“Are you ready to lose?”

“I should be asking you tha–hey! That’s not fair!” He yells when you make your turn and the puck goes straight into the goal.

“Whoops.” You feigned innocence. “If you’re so great, my leading point shouldn’t be a bother.”

Grumbling to himself, Doyoung places the puck back into the table and swings as hard as he could, making it bounce everywhere before you could block it and send it back to him. He had struck it too hard and made it hit the sides that ultimately led it straight into his goal.

“What the hell!” He complains and glares at you as you laughed out loud.

“That’s two points for me!” You cheer, preparing to block his next shot.

As the game continued, you couldn’t help but laugh at all the nonsense complains Doyoung kept stuttering out. Tears even made it to your eyes when he had made an effort to put all his weight into blocking the puck but he had missed it and stumbled away from the table.

“Are you sure you’re as good at this game as you say you are?” You jeered, peeking up at him through your lashes, but your eyes catch sight of someone else. “Jae?”

Doyoung cheers when the puck slips past you while you were distracted.

You eyes flutter down when the puck plops out of the bank by your legs but you ignore it and look back behind Doyoung. Jaehyun wasn’t there anymore.

“What’s wrong?” He stops his mini celebration and turns around, trying to look for what you were staring at.

“I just… I thought I saw Jaehyun.”

He whips his head back at you with a confused expression. “He should be taking an exam right now.” He glances down at his wristwatch. “Well, if he was fast, he could be done, but it would still take him some time to get here.”

“Right. I was just seeing things.”

After a few more minutes at the arcade, you head over to a fastfood chain across the arcade.

“To console you on your loss in our neck-to-neck air hockey match, I’ll buy you ice cream.” Doyoung wraps an arm around your shoulders, “Sound good?”

“Add in some fries and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be okay about losing.”

He exaggerates a sigh, “My best friend, using me for free food.” He lightly pinches your shoulder, “You’re lucky I love you or else–”

It happened so fast that you could barely register it into your mind.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? Keeping her warm for me?”

The voice didn’t register at first, but the face that owned it did.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Doyoung scrambles onto his feet with Ten’s help.

Jaehyun steps forward but you block him. “Jae, what is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with  me? I finished my exam early and rushed here to see you, but I see him,” He juts his chin towards Doyoung, “With his arm around you.”

“What’s happening here?” A mall security guard approached your group.

“A misunderstanding, nothing we can’t handle ourselves. Sorry for the trouble.” You bow your head at him and grab Jaehyun’s arm. “Can we talk outside?”

He casts a glare at Doyoung before letting you pull him out. On the way to the exit, you recognized the same group of boys that chanced upon you and Jaehyun in the swimming pool from the previous week. You were ready to avoid their gazes, but they had seen you and immediately steered clear from you–and you didn’t fail to notice the fear in their expressions. Glancing up at Jaehyun, you could see the smug look on his face as he watches the group retreat.

You walk out into the parking lot and spin around to face him. “Do you want to explain yourself for what you did back there?”

Jaehyun frowns, “He had his arm around you.”

“I–Jae! He is Doyoung. Kim Doyoung. My best friend since pre-school. My best friend who is asexual. You know that!”

“He can’t be asexual forever. For all we know, he’s already got a crush on you!”

“Why are you being jealous of him? He’s my best friend and will always just be my best friend.”

“He just said he loves you!”

“And I love him back, as in, platonically, which I think is what he meant!” You groan in frustration. “You’re being ridiculous!”

Jaehyun scowls, “I’m being protective of my girlfriend!”

You suck in your lips and stare him down, “Your girlfriend that you’re technically on a break with.”

“What?” His body visibly tensed up.

“Maybe we should extend the break for a week or two.” You began to step back, but he follows you.

“What?” Jaehyun repeats, “Why?”

“Because, Jae,” You snap and he flinches at your tone, “I need time to get over what you just did inside to my best friend and you need time to contemplate over your actions and apologize to Doyoung.”

“(Y/N).” He whines.

“Jaehyun, please.” You cross your arms over your chest, defensively, and he stops in his tracks, looking at you with pleading eyes. You shake your head with regret and turn away, walking to the mall front.

He hadn’t followed you or tried to stop you, and you were thankful for that.

You take out your phone, book and Uber, and sent a text to Yebin, saying you’re heading home to rest, and then sent one to Doyoung, apologizing for Jaehyun’s actions and asked if he was okay.

Yebin replies with a kissy face emoji and a short message that she and Minkyung will bring home some dinner for you, to which you replied with a quick thank you.

Doyoung responds to your text a little while after, telling you that he’s fine; that nothing was broken or bleeding, and Jaehyun came back to check up on him and to apologize for punching him.

You close your phone as you see your Uber arriving and hop inside. Jaehyun had never reacted that way and it came as shock to you that he did. He was always that shy and nice kid that everyone was friends with. He was never assertive, but you knew it irked him when guys would so much give you excessive attention.

Seventeen weeks and three days

With classes over and practices for graduation rites starting in two weeks, you were left bored at home while Yebin and Minkyung had their exhibits and recitals to attend to. You woke up at noon and ate late lunch in front of the television, catching up on all the dramas you’ve missed for the sake of studying.

It pained you to watch some romantic scenes, if you were to be honest with yourself. It reminded you of Jaehyun and how he had acted a few days ago.

You learned from Ten, since he’s been seeing Jaehyun’s roommate, Johnny, that Jaehyun was either cooped up in his room or spending his hours at the gym.

The news didn’t make you feel any different. You missed him so much, but your pride wouldn’t allow you to give in. He had to apologize and admit his mistakes.

You fell asleep in the middle of a drama and was woken up by your cellphone ringing. The caller ID read Unknown, but you answer it either way.

“Hello?” You yawned. The other line was silent. Thinking there was a problem with the signal, you stand up and walk closer to the window. “Hello?” You repeat. “Who is this?”

As the line continued to remain silent, you decided to hang up.

The call was unsettling, but you shake it off and gasp to see that it was half past 8 already. You trudged to the kitchen, taking out some left overs from the fridge and pop it into the microwave. While waiting for it to heat up, you scroll through your SNS; liking pictures, watching random videos. You see Taeyong’s new profile pic that showed his newly bleached hair and you give it a heart eyes emoji react.

The microwave beeps and you close your phone to eat your dinner in silence.

As you cleaned up after your meal, you’re overcome with the sense of someone watching you. There was a palpable tension in the air and you convince yourself to look behind you. You regret not turning the lights on in the living room, leaving the open space dark and barely illuminated by the kitchen lights.

Your imagination went haywire, thinking how possible it was for someone to stand in the darkest corner and possibly staring you down, mocking how you can’t see them. But your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can map out the tall lamp shade Yebin’s mother had gifted you guys the day you moved in.

You let out an awkward, shaky laugh. “It’s all in your mind, (Y/N).”

Your phone rings, ripping through the silence and effectively made the tiny hairs all over your body stand up. “Motherfuck.” You hiss, clutching your heart as you take your phone from the counter.

It was an unknown number again.

“Hello?” You answer, a little too aggravated.

There was static on the other side and thinking the cell service was bad from the kitchen, you move to window and peek up into the cloudy sky. “Hello? This better not be a prank phone call.”

Instead of the silence you expected, you hear slow, heavy breathing.

“Hello? Who is this?” The clouds move and the moon shines the ground below. Your eyes drop to the street below and your chest tightens.

On the sidewalk that leads to your apartment building, there was a man dressed in a black hoodie, ripped jeans, and a black face mask covering half his face. He was looking up at your building, you weren’t so sure since his hoodie had casted a shadow over his eyes. But what caught your attention was his hand, holding up a phone to his ear.

You see his chest heave and at the same time, an exhale comes from the other line of your phone.

You drop your phone and stumble backwards as a scream erupts from your throat. You hear your roommates concerned shouts from outside the hall as they scramble to open the front door.

By the time they reach you, you were on the floor, shaking uncontrollably and crying from what you had seen.

Seventeen weeks and four days

Your landlady came to visit you and told you she had asked the campus police for extra security every night. They had also tried to trace the unknown number, but didn’t get any leads and guessed it came from a burner phone. Nevertheless, they reassured you that they’ll continue to investigate your case.

Minkyung and Yebin had slept beside you last night to comfort you, but the thought of having a stalker still haunted you.

You were still jittery and with your mind playing tricks on you, you grab your phone and head out.

“Hey, I heard from Ten what happened. Are you okay?” Johnny asks as he opens the door for you.

“More or less? Uhm…” You look inside the room as you toed off your shoes.

“He’s taking a shower. He actually planned to go to you, but I guess you beat him to it.” Johnny cocks his head to the small bouquet of flowers on the side table. “I’m meeting Ten for an early dinner.”

“Bye.” You quietly say as you watch him close the door behind him.

With soft steps, you make your way to Jaehyun’s room. It was tidy as it always was. You can hear him singing as the shower turned on and it makes you smile.

As you move to sit on the bed to wait for him, your eyes catch the black face mask on his table. “Has he been sick?” You frown to yourself, walking over to it. Upon closer inspection, you find an old-school phone beneath it. You dismissed it as a toy when you try to open it and consequently failed to do so.

Your eyes travel to the picture frame beside it. It was you, of course. You were with him to help him choose the picture he’d have printed and framed. You pick it up only to put it down as fast as you could when your fingers came into something sticky.

“Ugh, Jung Jaehyun!” You hiss, stretching your hand as far away as possible. You were disgusted, to say the least, but a part of you is flattered to know your boyfriend jacks off to you instead of some porno video or magazine. You walk to his laundry basket and grab the first thing you could and wiped your hands on it.

You feel bad for using one of his black hoodies to clean your hands but he’d understand. As you returned the dirty laundry back into the pile, you noticed the light washed denim jeans inside. There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see that they were tattered. It’s a coincidence, you convince yourself, a horrible coincidence.

You throw the jacket back into the basket and walked over to the other side of the room to sanitize your hands with the bottle of rubbing alcohol liked to keep there. Your emotions have suddenly turned a complete 180 degrees; when you stepped inside the apartment, you felt safe and secured. But after running into items that looked so out of place and had triggered your memories of the past events the last weeks, you were uneasy.

The sound of the shower turns off and you cast a glance at the bathroom door, catching your reflection on the full length mirror. You blink repeatedly, seeing (yet another) item that you did not know Jaehyun had owned.

Your heart began to speed up as you twist around to get a better look. You could hear your heart beating in your ears with every slow step you took towards the corner of the room. There, hidden behind an armchair, resting against the crevice where the adjacent walls met, was a metal baseball bat. You wanted to throw up as your mind connected the dots.

Jaehyun was always protective of you.

“(Y/N)?”

You gasp, turning around, putting a hand over your chest.

Jaehyun, dressed in a loose shirt and boxers with a towel haphazardly thrown over his head, looked as equally as surprised as you.

He couldn’t possibly have done it.

You choke on the onslaught of tears, running to him and burying your face into his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He automatically wraps his arms around you, smoothing your hair down. “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

Jaehyun holds you tight, letting you cry out the remaining fear from the previous night, all the while placing kisses on your head and rubbing your back.

“Oh god,” You breathe in, smelling his strawberry-scented shower gel. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” He pulls away, tilting your face towards him. “How are you? Did you get any sleep? If I found out any sooner, I would have gone over to you.”

You shake your head, “I couldn’t sleep properly, even though Yebin and Minkyung stayed with me.”

“Have you eaten at least? Let me cook something for you to eat.”

“I-I… Don’t leave me here.” You hated yourself for sounding so weak.

Jaehyun offers you a soft smile, “No one’s going to hurt you while I’m around. But if you really don’t want to stay in my room, you can come with me to the kitchen.”

He leads you to the kitchen by the hand, his thumb running over your knuckles. He makes small talk with you, asking how your finals went, and you smile to yourself, seeing how he wanted to get your mind off last night.

You respond to his questions and watch him fry some eggs and slices of pork. It didn’t take too long for him to serve it to you with some reheated rice from this morning.

“Eat up, baby girl.”

“Baby girl?” You smirked, “Should I call you daddy, then?”

Jaehyun laughs, a blush still makes it way to the apples of his cheeks. “Be careful what you wish for.” He whispers into your ear, trying to sound seductive but ended up chuckling.

He watches you eat and from time to time, lets you feed him some.

“What are your plans after graduation?” He asks out of the blue.

You swallowed your food, “My plans?”

He nods, waiting for you to answer.

“Get a job?” You shrug, “I haven’t thought about that at all, actually.”

“How about moving into a new apartment?”

You pause for moment, “I don’t know if I can afford it, but my contract for my apartment right now ends two months after graduation so I should probably look into it.”

“Well,” Jaehyun massages his nape and avoids your gaze; a telltale sign he was nervous. He looked exactly the same when he first asked you out. “My parents graduation gift for me is my own apartment room in downtown Seoul. I was wondering if, you know, you’d want to move in with me.”

You stare at him, trying to process what he had just said. “Will your parents be okay with that? I mean, I thought you and Johnny would still be sharing an apartment.”

“He and Ten have their own plans, besides, I’m not sharing a bed with Johnny.” That makes you giggle and he lets out a short chuckle of his own, “And about my parents… they love you like their own daughter. They wouldn’t mind. I’m willing to bet they’re hoping for grandchildren in two years.”

“Woah there, big boy.” You laugh, “How about we take baby steps instead of hoping of seeing our baby take their first ones, huh?”

“Tell that to my parents.” He grumbles like a child and you reach up to pinch his cheeks.

“Anyways, I’d love to.”

“Hm?”

“I’d love to move in with you.”

It takes a second for Jaehyun to grin at your answer, both cheeks displaying a dimple each. “Really?”

You giggle at his reaction, biting down on your lower lip while you nod. “Yes, really.”

He pulls you in for multiple kisses, making you laugh in between each one. The last one he planted stayed longer against your lips, igniting a heat below your belly. His tongue grazes your lips and you instantly grant him access into your mouth, moaning at the sensation of his tongue sliding against yours.

His hands snake onto your thighs, roughly massaging them before pulling you tight against his body. You cling onto him; mouths undetached as he hauls you up and takes you back to the bedroom.

As if you were a delicate piece of china, Jaehyun sets you down on his bed with utmost care. He pulls away from the kiss, leaving a string of saliva between your lips before it snaps as he straightens himself to remove his shirt.

“Oh, god.” You groan, “I can’t believe I lasted 4 months.” You palmed him over his boxers with one hand while the other travelled upwards, fingers dancing across the expanse of the hard muscles of his abdomen and chest. Before you can slip your hands into his shorts, he grabs both of your wrists.

“I still owe you a destresser.” Jaehyun reminds you with a matching smirk on his lips.

You let him undress you, watching his eyes dart to every newly exposed skin and grow darker with carnal lust to every drop of clothing article on the floor by his feet. When you’re finally stripped off of all your clothes and underwear, he gently pushes you back until you’re lying on the bed. With a light tap on your thighs, your legs part to make room for him.

He removes his boxers and kneels on the bed, one hand already stroking his hard member. He leans down and kisses you, “I’m going to show you how much I missed you.”

“Don’t hold back.” You challenged and he playfully scoffs at you.

“When have I ever held back?”

Before you could answer, a digit dips into your core. A shaky sigh escapes you as Jaehyun languidly moves his finger around.

“Show me how much you missed me first.” He quietly says, “Use my hand.”

Whimpering, you covered his hand with your own, grinding your clit into his palm. Your fingers tapped onto his middle finger and he got the message, inserting it along with his pointer finger. He dragged them against your inner walls that caused you to softly moan.

You lifted your hips, hoping to get some more leverage but Jaehyun flexes his middle finger and it brushes against your g-spot. You gasp, dropping your weight back down to the bed. From there, Jaehyun takes over.

With no warning, he pumps his fingers into you, curling them inside before pulling out. It felt amazing and your body was already starting to convulse. He continued his actions, going harder and faster, ignoring the signs of your oncoming orgasm.

You cry out, grabbing onto his wrist with both hands as your body violently shook.

Not wasting any time, Jaehyun takes whatever essence of your climax his fingers collected and smears it over his cock, giving it a few more pumps before he slides it in you.

Your moan may or may not have been too loud for the neighbors to hear, but you had no control over it. Despite being sensitive and still high from your orgasm, you try to spread your thighs further for him. One of your legs pinned his on the bed while you wrapped the other around his hips.

Jaehyun mumbles something about you being tight and how it feels amazing just before he begins to thrust, slow and deep. He leans over and kisses your neck, alternating between sucking and licking every patch of skin he can get his mouth on.

“I’m going to mark you so other guys wouldn’t think twice about hitting on you, okay?” He thrusts a little too hard, as if to punctuate his question, and you groan in response.

“Yes, yes,” You gasp, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders. “I’m yours.”

He makes almost an animalistic growl, hips moving more erratically with your words. “Say that again.”

“I’m yours.” You chant, almost like a prayer.

With every repetition of your invocation, Jaehyun snaps his hips into you, gaining more speed and power. It had you curling your toes and teetering over a cliff, ready to jump head first into ecstasy only he can deliver.

Your body thrashed against him as he gave you your second mind-blowing orgasm for the night. He helps you ride it out, keeping your hips still as he shallowly pushed into you. Unintentionally, you clenched around him and he moans at the sensation.

“Shit, that feels so good, baby.” He rasps, throwing his head back.

“Won’t you come?” You asked, pouting up at him as you catch your breath.

Slowing down his thrusts, he looks down at you. He studies how you were still shivering from your high, how his kisses on your necks have bloomed into a bouquet of purple flowers, how your breasts rose with every haggard breath. He takes one into his hand, softly palming it. “I’m getting there.”

“Is there anything you want me to do?” You watch his eyebrows scrunch up and his lips curl into a wicked grin.

He pulls out of you all of a sudden and crawls until his knees are on either side of your chest. “Open up.”

You part your lips and stick your tongue out a little.

Jaehyun groans at the lewd sight of you; taking his cock into his hand and pumping as fast as he can. He places the tip on your tongue when beads of pre-cum ooze out.

You lick it up immediately, coaxing him to ejaculate by running your tongue on the underside of his cock’s head.

A string of curses fall from Jaehyun’s lips as he finally found the final push he needed to come. White, hot liquid shoots into your mouth and amidst of you swallowing it, the remaining cum splashes onto your cupid’s bow, cheek, and chin. He cries out in anguish when you push yourself up to suck him dry with hollowed cheeks. As you fall back to bed, one last spurt escapes him and hits your brow.

Seeing it dribble down your eyelid, Jaehyun uses his thumb to swipe it off. Before he can clean his finger, you grab hold of his wrist and guide it to your mouth, collecting the salty substance with your tongue.

“Jesus christ, (Y/N).” Jaehyun exhales, feeling his cock twitch at the salacious scene.

“I just missed how you tasted.” You giggled, kissing his thumb. “Still delicious.”

He combs your sweat-slicked hair and chuckles, his ears turning red at the compliment, “Well, I’m sure you taste sweeter.”

You jut out your lower lip at him, “How would you know? You haven’t tasted me in months.”

“Oh?” His eyes glaze over once again, “Is that a challenge?”

“Baby,” You coo, “It’s an invitation.”

If his dimpled smile made you melt, a dimpled smirk made you melt in other places–places he was about to visit.

“Don’t mind if I do, then.” He trails a kiss from between your breasts down to your navel.

Your jaw drops when he arrives right at your core and does his magic.

You dip your head back down further on the bed, moaning at every flick of his tongue. You turn your head to the side and your eyes fall on the baseball bat from earlier. You had a clearer view of it this time.

You had a clearer view of the other end stained with dark red splatters.

Your blood ran cold and you froze up.

Jaehyun, realizing immediately that you had stopped responding to his actions, pulls away and looks at you. His gaze follows yours and once he spots what had grabbed your attention, he hovers above you and places a hand on either side of your head. “Look at me.” He commands.

“You couldn’t have…” You murmur, meeting his darkened eyes.

“He touched you.” He simply states, devoid of any emotion.

“Jaehyun!” You reprimand, but he cuts you off.

“He disrespected you, (Y/N). I wasn’t going to let that pass by!”

“How did you even know I was the bar? Were you following me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were safe!”

You push him off, scooting off the bed and picking out your clothes from the floor. This wasn’t something you wanted to discuss in the nude. “Well, I was! Yebin and Minkyung were there with me. We left before he could do anything else. You didn’t have to beat him up with a bat! Jesus christ! Jae! You’re wanted by campus police.”

“He got what he deserved, (Y/N).” He coolly shrugs his shoulders, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on while watching you dress.

“And what about those guys from the pool?” You suddenly remembered running into them the other day.

“I only meant to go after the one who couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” Jaehyun admits, “But his friends came looking for him, so I had to deal with them as well.”

“You took them by your–” You shut your eyes in frustration and disbelief. It felt like you didn’t even know the man in front of you. Shaking your head with a scoff, you avoid his piercing glare.

Another thought pops into your head, a scarier one that gave you goosebumps.

You look to the table and stare at the black face mask, “…w-were you the guy last night?”

“Yes. I was outside your window, too, when you masturbated.”

You gaped at him with horrified astonishment. “Why?” It took every fiber of your body not to start shaking from fear and disgust. “You scared me shitless!”

“That was the point.”

Your jaw drops, unable to formulate a proper response, nevertheless, Jaehyun continues.

“I had to scare you back to me.”

“What?!”

“I was losing you.” His voice finally breaks from the monotony and raises an octave higher. “You asked for an extension when I was at my limit. I missed you!”

“I was mad! You punched my best friend, Jaehyun! I had the right to be! And it didn’t mean you were losing me. I just needed time to cool down!” You pinch the bridge of your nose. Never, in the four years, you and Jaehyun have spent together did you argue like this. This was a completely different side to your boyfriend and all these revelations were giving you a headache. You needed time to process them. “I can’t do this.”

You make a move to leave but Jaehyun blocks your path.

“Can’t do what?” His voice had dropped and his eyes were practically black as the night. Taken aback from his demeanor, you were unable to respond to him, making him ask again in a raised voice. “Can’t do what, (Y/N)?!”

“Let me go, Jae. I need to go.”

“Go where? Who are you running of to, huh? Doyoung? Taeyong?”

“Why are you dragging Taeyong into this?”

Jaehyun scowls, “I saw you giving his picture a heart eyes react.”

“Oh my god!” You shout, “Do you hear yourself right now? So I liked his new photo because I thought his new hairstyle looked good. He’s our friend, remember? Jaehyun, please, let me leave.”

“And what? Extend our break even more? I don’t think so.” He reaches for your hand, but you move away. “(Y/N).”

“You’re honestly scaring me right now.” You back away until you feel the wall behind you. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I love you, (Y/N),” He steps forward, “Everything I do is for you. I have to protect you. If you could only see how other guys look at you, how they would undress you with their eyes–I, I can’t let them disrespect you like that. They need to know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“And if you really, really do love me, Jae,” Your eyes tear up, “You would let me leave.”

“No. W-why?” His eyebrows scrunched up in frustration “Do you want to break up?”

You swallow hard, “I’m really scared right now, Jaehyun. Just please give me time to think–”

“Answer me!” He yells, making you flinch in your spot. He traps you against the wall, “Are you thinking about breaking up with me?”

“I don’t feel safe with you right now.” You breathed. Your words were barely audible but they rang like sirens in Jaehyun’s ears.

He steps away from you, the emotions on his face have changed from hostile to defeated. His eyes are wet as they searched around the room for something, and they fell on the full length mirror attached to the bathroom door. Huffing, he takes two large steps towards it and swings as hard as he can.

You shrieked as his fist connected to the mirror, creating a large, cracked web onto it. You had expected him to stop, or at most react to the the pain of the blow, but he repeatedly punched the mirror, smashing chunks of the glass and sending them crashing to the floor.

“Jae, stop!” You yell, but it was as if he couldn’t hear you.

You found yourself grabbing his arms at the first sight of crimson staining the mirror. “Jaehyun!”

“Go away! I don’t want to hurt you,” He spares you a tormented glance. His cheeks were damp from tears already. “I can’t hurt you, so let me–”

He attempts to throw another punch, but you hold him back. Then both of you struggled with one another, until he nudges you away and faces you. “You hate me!” He cries.

You shake your head in denial, but he repeats himself.

“You hate me.”

“I never said that.” You squeaked, staring into his eyes.

“You wanted to break up.” Jaehyun grabs a fistful of his hair as he shuts his eyes.

“I never said that, either.” You quietly admonished, shakily reaching up to wipe his tears.

He had flinched away from your touch at first, snapping his eyes wide open like an injured beast being cornered, but the way you looked at him made him drop his defenses.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, sobbing like a little boy and your heart wrenches at the sight. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He repeats over and over until you pull him down, letting his head rest on the crook of your neck. “I can’t lose you, (Y/N). I can’t. I just wanted to protect you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me and you won’t.” You run one of your hands down his back while the other combed through his hair.

He pulls away, tears still flowing down his cheeks, “You’re not leaving me?”

You take in his expression; a mix of pain, anguish, confusion, guilt, and above all that, you see the expression that made you choose him and stay by his side: love.

“I mean, I have to go home sooner or later.” You cock your head, offering him an unsure smile in an endeavour to bring up his mood, and it sort of did. The briefest flash of his dimple with the curl of the corners of his lips told you that you had at least succeeded in making him laugh. “But I can spend the night if you want to.”

“I want you to.” He mumbles and you smile up at him.

“Then I’ll stay the night.” You pull him down until his forehead was touching yours. Playing with the short hairs on his nape, you whisper onto his lips, “I love you.”

A smile finally breaks out onto his face, lighting it up from the solemn mood “I love you, too.”

“Let’s get your hand cleaned up and wrapped, okay?” You kiss his cheek and lead him out the room, careful not to step on any glass shards.

The clock in the living room struck 12 and exhaustion seeped into your system. You were beginning to accept that there was something terribly wrong with your boyfriend’s psychological health. You should have ran away when you had the chance; you should have left when he, himself, told you to. But you remembered his eyes when he spared you a glance. Something in them switched like an on and off button when they were on you in comparison to when he had been punching the wall.

You look over your shoulder and up at Jaehyun, who sniffed as he inspected his bleeding knuckles.

Your friends have always told you how much he doted you.

Up until tonight, you had no idea just how devoted Jaehyun was to you.

devoted 2 part 1

devotee (jaehyun’s pov)

[chokememrstark]

The Soulmate Sam Never Asked For // Part 2

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2661 (Chapter 2 / 12)

Fic Summary: It's impossible to deny anymore that Lucifer is his soulmate. Sam tries to handle the situation the rational way, without allowing his emotions to control him, but Lucifer isn't helping at all with the way he reacts and Sam doesn't know if he should laugh or scream about the impossible situation he found himself in.

college!AU, human!AU, soulmates!AU, dysfunctional families, abusive parents, dramatic romance, or romantic drama, your choice, big brother!Lucifer, soulmates hating each other, referenced alcoholism, death and abuse, some violence, and lots of feels, fluff and cuteness, some drama but not too much, lots of bickering, and two damn stubborn soulmates (!!)

Note: My lovely beta reader @brieflymaximumprincess called this a rom-com and even though I don’t believe it is, in my eyes, it does have certain elements of it. This is not the angst you know from me, not at all.

Yes, there is some drama, but there is also a lot of sweet and cute moments, much more than the dramatic ones. I guess you could say I accidentally wrote cute fluff? Because it was not intended, but here we are.

This fic is already completed and will be posted by the regular schedule from now on: Thuesday, Thursday and Saturday! So, enjoy ♥

Tagging: @shebahda   @sassysupernaturalsweetheart    @spnyoucantkeepmedown  @brieflymaximumprincess @multifandomhcsforinsanity @etysky @justasmalltownsuperwholock @humongouscandycoffee @blakechaos08 @daddycasstiel @diamondsdontshine

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

 Sam tried really hard to not look at the blond guy or give him any form of attention over the next few days, but it felt like torture every single time they were in the same room together. The more he ignored him, the more his body seemed to protest and fight against his decision. After a few days of this, Sam didn’t know if he could take it anymore. Not even hanging out and talking to the few friends he had on campus provided any form of distraction - this pestering turmoil inside of him flared up regularly, even when the blond was far away. It only got worse and Sam didn’t know what to do anymore.

 During the next weekend, Sam laid awake at night and wondered how this horrible guy could be his soulmate and why he had to be punished like that. Hell, from what he had seen so far he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d turn on the news one day and see him presented as a serial killer or something like that! This guy was a creep, how could this be possible? And still, all signs were there and it got more obvious every day. At this rate he would probably explode by Wednesday next week and he began to hope for it in a way.

 “You need to talk to him,” Dean said when Sam called him Sunday night, completely drained, exhausted and helpless. “It won’t get better like this, trust me.”

 “I can’t talk to him!” Sam protested, banging his head against the wall behind him. “He’ll probably rip me to shreds! You didn’t see him, Dean…”

 “You’re sure it’s him, right?”

 “Sadly yes…”

 “If you’re right you have to talk to him. The more you try to stay away from him, the worse it’ll get.”

 Sam sighed, he had feared this would be Dean’s answer. Why did this have to happen to him? He had already wasted two weeks of college, if this kept going he wouldn’t make it much longer.

 “I’ve never seen someone with so much disgust on his face, Dean,” Sam mumbled after a while, running a hand through his hair. “It’s like he’s thinking about murdering everyone around him all the time, he’s creeping me the fuck out!”

 “Does he look decent at least?” Dean asked curious and Sam groaned.

 “Who cares how good he looks? Dean, he’ll probably kill me if I come closer than five feet - a decent face is the last thing I’m interested in!”

 “Calm down, I’m just asking,” Dean said quickly. “I doubt he’ll kill you on sight, the worst thing that might happen is that he tells you to fuck off, right?”

 “Maybe he doesn’t care for witnesses...”

 “You’re being ridiculous, Sam,” Dean chuckled. “If he really is who you think he is don’t you think he’s going through the same thing as you?”

 Sam hadn’t thought about that if he was honest. Maybe Dean was right. He had read a lot about soulmates in school and it was always a mutual thing, at least according to studies.

 “He hides it pretty well then, as you said,” Sam eventually scoffed.

 “Maybe he’s just not the most emotional one.”

 “Are you calling me emotional?” Sam snarled, making his brother laugh again.

 “I’m calling you a coward, that’s what I’m doing!” Dean retorted. “Look, just go talk to him. The worst that can happen is that he shoves you away and then you’ll find a way to deal with it. And no, you won’t start drinking like dad, trust me. That’s a whole different story.”

 Sam swallowed hard. He didn’t know Dean was aware of his fear of becoming like their dad. Not that he ever hid it, but he didn’t know it was that obvious. Most of his hate for the whole soulmate thing came from his parents, sure, but he never talked about it openly.

 “If that happens and I wanna get away; can you pick me up?”

 “Sammy, of course!” Dean answered without hesitating. “If he does he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you anyway. Just jump over your shadow, alright?”

 “Yeah, I’ll try…”

 Sam wasn’t sure if he’d find the courage to do that, but he didn’t want Dean to think he actually was a coward either. One thing was clear, however; he couldn’t keep going like this. He’d never get anything done that way.

 They talked briefly for a few minutes before Dean had to hang up and Sam was relieved about the silence that followed. As glad as he was about Dean’s support and help, he knew this was something he had to tackle all by himself and it scared him. They taught kids about soulmates in school, but never mentioned the nasty parts. It was always sunshine and rainbows, nothing else.

 Sam tried hard to sleep that night, but barely got more than three hours after rolling around restlessly in his bed. He looked more like a zombie than an actual human when he dragged himself to the coffee machine to fill a big cup with espresso and some cream to help with the bitter taste. He was early to class again, but this time he sat down where the blond guy usually sat, hoping it would not cause him to go the other direction. He was too tired to really care, but maybe that would be helpful.

 The blond was not late today, but barely made it on time and plopped down with a disapproving grunt next to Sam when he saw his seat taken. The look he shot Sam was more than just a little annoyed and made the other’s guts twist when he caught it.

 “If you don’t plan to cut my throat you might wanna pay attention to the topic,” Sam said after a few minutes of being glared at like that, completely aware that he probably signed his own death certificate with that. He felt too awful to care, to be honest. Between his pulse skyrocketing and his hands feeling like they were frying over a bonfire, he just couldn’t find the strength to keep his mouth shut.

 “You’re pretty cocky for someone who just stole my seat,” the blond huffed, squinting his eyes.

 “I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but you make me feel pretty damn shitty ever since you walked into this room the first time and it’s killing me. So just let me sit here and shut up, will you?” Sam had no idea where his sudden attitude came from, but the reaction he got surprised him even more. The blond actually smirked at him.

 “I expected you to last longer, honestly.”

 Sam thought he’d suffer from a stroke right there and then. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

 “Excuse me?”

 The blond laughed quietly and shifted in his seat to look at Sam directly before answering.

 “I wondered when you’d come over, but I thought you’d last a bit longer than two weeks.”

 “You really      are    an asshole, wow.” Sam huffed and took a huge sip from his espresso.

 “I answer to Lucifer too, but if you want to call me asshole, go ahead.”

 Sam nearly choked on his next sip, staring at the blond with wide eyes for a moment.

 “Hell no,” Sam eventually huffed and turned away from the other. “Fuck me sideways, just      no    !”

 “That’s what he said.” Lucifer grinned.

 Sam realized one thing in this very moment: there were people that asked to be hated by simply existing and then there was Lucifer, who managed to quadruple this feeling easily. This could only be a very cruel joke that he didn’t get the punchline of yet, there was no other way.

 “Do me a favor and don’t talk,” Sam eventually scoffed and did his best to ignore the blond and that he still looked at him. “You’re making everything worse when you talk.”

 Luckily Lucifer, if that was even his real name, didn’t open his mouth anymore, but it barely helped Sam to get through the lecture. When the professor finally dismissed them, Sam sighed in relief, only to be reminded with a cough that he wasn’t free yet.

 “I guess you know what that means, right?” Lucifer said with a smug grin on his face that gave Sam goosebumps when he turned towards him.

 “Yeah, I probably fucked up horribly in my past life and this is  my punishment for it,” Sam shot back ice cold and stood up. “Whatever you think it means, it’s not gonna happen.”

 Sam made it out of the classroom and almost to the next before he heard heavy steps behind him and sighed. Now the guy was a stalker too, seriously? He spun around, angry and ready to fight.

 “What?” Sam snarled, trying to ignore the confusion that crept up in him once more.

 “You forgot your backpack,” Lucifer said and held up the forgotten item. “I guess you need it, don’t you?”

 “Yeah, thanks.” Sam took his belongings with a suspicious glare, but there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it as far as he could see.

 “Til later, I guess,” Lucifer waved and as he started walking away, Sam got overwhelmed by his cursed instincts.

 “Wait!”

 The blond stopped, turned back and gave Sam a more than surprised look.

 “Thank you, really,” Sam said, slightly ashamed. “I’d die without this thing.”

 “I figured,” Lucifer nodded and shouldered his own backpack. “See you around, Sam.”

 Now that Lucifer actually walked away, Sam felt even more weird than before. Lucifer didn’t come across like someone who would be nice to just for the sake of it, so why did he bother giving him back his things? He didn’t seem to care at all before; it made little sense. Unless he was trying to get on his good side, which was very unlikely.

 Sam didn’t feel good about this situation at all. He didn’t know Lucifer or even liked him, so why did his body, or soul or whatever, insist that he’d play any part in his life? And still, he had been able to concentrate a little better during the last lecture. Maybe it was enough just to sit next to him, if this was the price he had to pay for good grades he would do it. Anything else, a relationship or even a friendship with this guy, was nothing he desired or wanted, ever.

 Dean would probably rip him a new one if he saw him being so stubborn, but dammit, he wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for this stubbornness, so he should be used to it by now! No one had the right to control his life, not his father and surely not some random guy he never met before that fate or whatever had chosen to be his soulmate.

 For the rest of the day Sam felt a little better than the week before, even if it was still difficult to keep up his focus. He was even able to sleep at night and when he walked into the next course he had with Lucifer he saw a raised hand in the back while looking for him. Surprised, but relieved that his search was shortened this way, Sam walked over and put the two coffees he had brought with him down on the tables.

 “Oh, you’re bringing me gifts already?” Lucifer grinned and looked up at Sam. “How thoughtful of you.”

 “Don’t flatter yourself,” Sam huffed and sat down. “I just want this to go as quiet as possible and if your mouth is occupied with coffee you might talk less.”

 Lucifer laughed at this, but Sam turned his attention to his notes and his own coffee. He would not put any effort into this, the coffee had been a spontaneous impulse he would not give into again, so much was clear. Lucifer was merely a tool to improve his concentration and if the blond wanted to be annoying, Sam would not hesitate to just leave again and live with the consequences. He had no desire to end up dead in this guy’s basement one day, no thank you. Soulmate or not, he still came across like a psycho and Sam would keep his distance from him as much as possible - if not physically, then at least emotionally.

 The week went by like this and Sam found that only one class a day with Lucifer was enough to get him through the others. They didn’t talk much, apart from the kind of forced ‘hey’ and ‘bye’ they shared less than ten words over the rest of the week, but Sam was fine with that. Lucifer didn’t bother him much and left him alone, so it might work out like that eventually. At the end of the week Sam’s inner turmoil was almost gone completely and he couldn’t have been more relieved about that.

 Dean laughed when Sam told him about the new arrangement he had with his supposed soulmate and called them the no-homo-bros, but Sam didn’t give into his mocking or let it get to him. Dean’s amusement was a fair price for not having to drop out of college.

 “Careful, Sam,” Dean said with fake seriousness at one point. “You don’t want to fall for the Devil’s irresistible charm, do you?”

 “Oh, shut up, Dee,” Sam hissed through gritted teeth, using a nickname he knew Dean hated with a passion. “I’ll learn to fly before I fall for this guy.”

 “I’ll get you a pair of wings then.”

 “You’re serious, aren’t you?” Sam asked surprised.

 “Of course,” Dean laughed. “It’s a law of nature, Sam. It always ends the same way, soulmates aren’t made to push each other away. Sooner or later things will go the natural direction.”

 “Well, I’ll prove nature wrong then,” Sam huffed. “I don’t like this guy and I’m not gonna change my mind.”

 “I’ll ask you again when you come home next time, but I’m glad things got better at least.”

 “Me too, trust me.”

 There was no way in hell Sam would change his mind about Lucifer. This guy was rude, annoying, creepy and probably dangerous too - at least it felt like he was and that was enough to make him wary. And why should he want to get involved with this guy anymore than necessary anyways? He didn’t even want to know what was going through Lucifer’s head on a regular basis, given the weird look in his eyes, it surely wasn’t something nice. No, he would stick to his decision, no matter what.

 Sam had to admit that it was slightly awkward to pull through with his plan to be physically in Lucifer’s presence, but far away emotionally. Not that the blond ever acted up or treated him badly, he couldn’t describe where this feeling came from. It wasn’t different from sitting next to anyone else he didn’t talk to in other lectures, just that it      was    different and he had no idea how to put it into words. Ultimately, Sam knew it boiled down to the soulmate thing, but he was extremely focused on controlling himself in every way possible to not let that part take over him. Whether it was awkward or not, in the end it worked and that was all that mattered to him.

 Lucifer himself was as cold and distant as always for the most part. Occasionally he would make a sarcastic remark or shoot the other an estimating glare, but Sam never gave him the satisfaction of letting it get to him. It wasn’t even to get his attention, Sam noticed that when he reacted the first few times. Lucifer was simply used to this behavior and Sam watched him acting the same around other people from afar. How this guy was supposed to make friends like that was beyond him, but as they said: that was none of his business.

[chmergess4ever]

Only Forever (Part 3)

Hi Guys!! The response to the second chapter made me so happy so I decided to make the third chapter extra long for you! Fourth part is almost done, hopefully posted tomorrow! Enjoy! Don’t forget to like/reblog and leave feedback so I know if you’re still enjoying the story! 

Their relationship had dwindled down rapidly. They went from never leaving each others sight to almost nothing as time passed. They had lost contact after the Dancing with the Stars was placed on a Hiatus. Something that they never thought, would happen-did. Val thought back to the Tour Bus Confessions Video that he filmed for the We Came to Dance Tour, when asked who he would keep in contact with in 30 years he said “Sharna”, and somehow after only three years they were no longer talking. They hadn’t had a falling out, everything was perfectly fine.

Now he was 34, Newly Divorced, with a 1 year old baby. He had married Jenna shortly after his Confidential Tour and the two had a baby almost instantly. As their marriage hit the two year mark it became more and more evident that they were not happy and weren’t going to get much happier, mutually they agreed it would be better for the both of them to part ways. He decided to not let the divorce get the best of him, he was going to raise his child as peaceful as possible and  He was going to  live his life the way he wanted to live it. Except he felt like something was missing-The love that once filled his heart, the love of the woman he loved in return for the love he gave her. It was the one thing that was missing.

Val walked through CVS trying to find the aisle for Men’s body spray. Once he found it, he turned down focusing his attention on the options and looking for the one he usually used. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he may have seen her. He turned his head looking to the right. He looked back to the spray. Sure that it was just his mind playing games on him and then he heard her chuckle. His heart stopped as he knew exactly who was in the next aisle. He turned and walked to the right slowly. He turned to his right and then peaked around the aisle to the right. He saw her and he could feel himself tense up. He took a deep breath and then turned walking into the aisle.

“Still loving those snacks, Huh Burgess?” He put his arms out as he smiled.

“Oh my god! Val!” Sharna dropped the bag of snap peas she was holding and ran to hug him. She pulled back resting her hands on either side of him. “How are you? Oh my god.” She pulled him back in for another hug.

He grasped her tightly, embracing in the moment. “I’m good. How are you?”

“Better now!” She released him and stepped back. “Look at you! It’s been a long time.”

“Too long.”

“How’s Jenna? And Jake?” Jenna and Sharna also grew apart when the show ended. They weren’t overly close but it still surprised her that someone she was once very close to, just went away.

He assumed she knew about the both of them from facebook and social media.

“Jenna and I actually split up.”

Sharna felt her heart thump and her stomach flutter when he said it.

“Oh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. We’re dealing and we’ve got a wonderful little boy who we adore. How about you? How’s everything going?”

“It’s going! Nothing too significant.” Sharna clicked her phone to check the time. “Listen, I actually have an appointment but I would really love to catch up with you. Are you free anytime for dinner?” “I’m free tonight.”

“Sounds perfect. Pick me up at 7?”

“Same place?” “You know it. Living the life!” Sharna laughed. The laugh he loved so much. He pulled her in for another hug before they separated.

After paying, he got into his car and smiled, taking a deep breath. He didn’t know what did, but something felt different and he loved it.

Later that night they were out at what used to be their favorite pub. They were 2 hours into their time together but it felt like they could sit there for ages.

“Yea, so that was a one and done thing.” She was in the middle of recounting a story of one of her past flings.”

“He really said that to you?”

“Yeah, he was a gigantic ass.” Sharna took a sip of her drink as she laughed.

“So you haven’t dated anyone?” He said in disbelief.

“Nope.” The awkward silence set upon them as they both knew it was because of what she told him that night at the bus. “Only Forever.” Repeated in her head. She cleared her throat and took a sip of water. “So tell me about you.”

“Well, Jenna and I became increasingly unhappy. I think it’s because we rushed into everything those years ago. It was just so intense, so fast.” Val fiddled around with his beer bottle.

“Sorry.”

“No, No. It’s good. I’m happy.”

“And Jake?”

“Jake’s great. He’s a little over two now so he talks a little bit. Best little guy ever tho! He can definitely make you laugh when you need it.”

“Maybe I can meet him sometime?”

“Of course you can.”

A moment of silence dawned on them and Sharna decided to break the ice, “Val?” “Mhm.” Val lifted his head to look at her.

“What happened to us?” “What do you mean?” “We used to be best friends. I used to be best friends with your sister-in-law and good friends with your wife. And then everything just fell apart. It just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Life got in the way.”

“Yeah it did.” Sharnas smile dropped.

“What matters though, is we’re back together now and we’re going to make the most of it.”

The next weeks flew by. Val worked at the studio, while Sharna continued to work on her website and clothing line. They had stayed in contact, talking everyday more than once a day. It was like they had never separated. A couple of nights ago, Val had taken Sharna to see Peta. The two screamed, and jumped up and down, and it seemed like everything was back to normal. Sharna had gone over to Val’s a couple of nights a week and they had eaten dinner and watched their favorite TV shows together. They also watched some of their favorite dances from dwts together.

It was now a month since they had reunited and Val decided it was the perfect time for Sharna to meet Jake. He had invited her over for dinner as he had Jake for the night before Jenna picked him up later on. Sharna arrived at 5, just as Val was finishing cooking dinner. He opened the door giving her a kiss on the cheek and threw the kitchen towel over his shoulder. “I’ll just go get him from his room.”

Sharna silently clapped. Val left and returned minutes after carrying the baby on his side. He had both his arms wrapped around Val’s neck and his head tucked into his shoulder. As they approached Sharna, he lifted his head.

“Jake, This is Daddy’s friend, Sharna. Can you say “Hi Sharna.”

The baby was silent.

“Say “Hi Sharna”

“Hi Sha”

Sharna laughed. “Close enough.” Sharna tickled his belly. “Your so cute. You know that? And you’re Daddy loves you very much.”

The baby reached his arms out for Sharna to take him.

“You want to hold him?”

“Are you sure?” “Of course.” Val carefully handed Jake to Sharna. Sharna bounced up and down as the baby smiled.

“He looks just like you.” Sharna called to Val, who was now in the kitchen.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” Val laughed.

“It’s a very good thing.”

Jake pointed to one of his toys on the floor. “Ball!”

“You want to play?” Sharna looked back at Val. “Is it ok if he plays?” “Sure.”

Sharna sat down with the baby in her lap and handed him the ball. Val walked over carrying two glasses of wine. He handed one to Sharna. “You’re great with him.” “I love kids. Always have.”

“I know who to call when I need a babysitter.” Val teased. “Ok, he should nap before his mom comes to get him. She’ll be upset if I give him back when he’s tired.”

Sharna rolled her eyes and handed Jake to Val. “He’s yours too.”

“I know. Just sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.” Val carried the baby back to the nursery and then returned a few minutes after. “Shall we eat?”

He grabbed Sharna’s hand pulling her up off the floor. They ate the dinner that Val had cooked engaging in pleasant conversation and then moved to the couch to continue talking as they drank their wine. Val had the baby monitor attached to his back pocket. “So does it all seem real?” Sharna asked him as she pointed to the baby monitor.

“What? Having a kid?” “Yeah.”

“It took some getting used to but im adjusted now. It’s great. It’s like if something in my life goes wrong, he makes it ok. Cause I know he’ll be there.”

“That’s sweet.” Sharna swallowed and then asked what was on her mind, “So you don’t miss the romance at all?”

“Everyday. I miss the feeling of loving someone like that. It’ll happen again. Just have to wait”

“I want that so bad. It just seems like it won’t happen.”

“Any guy would be crazy not to want you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. We have been together, ya know.”

Sharna hit him playfully and then looked at him as he looked at her. They could both feel the atmosphere and what was about to happen. Val looked from her eyes to her lips and she did the same to him. He leaned into her and as their lips were less than a centimeter apart there was an abrupt knocking on the door. Val’s shoulders dropped and he sighed. Sharna scrunched her nose and cleared her throat.

“Come on Val, I know you’re in there.” There was knocking again.

Val got up and walked to the door. He opened it and saw Jenna. “Hi.”

“You look flustered.” Jenna walked in and saw Sharna. “Sharna?! Oh my God! Hi!” She walked over and have her a hug, but then quickly noticed the atmosphere, Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was interrupted a date.” You could tell she got uncomfortable.

“You weren’t.”

“You weren’t” Sharna said in unison with Val.

“Sharna wanted to meet Jake so I invited her over.” “I didn’t even realize you guys were still talking.”

“We lost touch but we recently reconnected.”

“Oh.” Jenna stopped talking. “Well,I guess I’ll just take Jake then.”

Val walked into the nursery and returned with Jake and a little napsack. “He ate already and I changed his diaper not too long ago.”

“Ok. We’ll, I’ll see you later then. It was nice seeing you Sharna. We should get lunch and catch up one time.”

Sharna smiled as Jenna left. Val looked at Sharna. “Well, that was awkward.”

“I can tell.”

SIlence filled the room and Sharna spoke. “I should go. I have to be somewhere early in the morning.”

“Oh. Ok. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then?”

“Of course you will.” Sharna gave him a kiss on the cheek and then left. Val moved to the kitchen to begin cleaning when he heard a knock on the door. He went to get it and saw her standing in the doorway. “I’m sorry. I’m not letting you get away with it.” Sharna spoke to him. “With what?”

“I waited for you, like I said I would. It’s the least you could do.”

“What?”

“Kiss me, you ass!” Sharna yelled.

Val smiled and pulled her in his house. She stood on her tip toes and he craned his neck down to kiss her. The delicacy of the kiss made it all the more special. And for the first time in a long time, Val felt the missing piece of the puzzle fit perfectly into his heart.