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#im just gonna keep suffering
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I've realized that i am really bad at asking for help and also really good at pretending that i don't need it.
So that explains about 80% of my struggles in life.
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andy-clutterbuck · 6 months
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Rick Grimes in The Ones Who Live | 1x05 - Become
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corpsentry · 6 months
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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it
we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON
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mondaymelon · 3 days
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guess which boyfailure just broke down crying in a culver's !!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
#💬 ⌗ 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . . . ✧#so im . i have to makeup an online class session right#i have to be on a zoom from 7 pm to 9#and im like cool sure i can do that but i just got out of conditioning and the crew team is going to culvers for fundraising#and like... the zoom wont be that strict right. i can have my camera off probably haha#top ten words spoken before disaster i tell u wtf#girl pulls up to the zoom call#CALLS ATTENDANCE 4 TIMES#btw#atp im in the culvers line tryna order right. she then sets down some rules#camera on. microphone has to be working#okok rudimentary stuff i can work w that right.. haha no then she goes you cant talk or laugh keep ur full face in the frame and NORMALLY t#that kinda sturff wouldnt be a probelm but im over here at culvers being big backed yk so i go ok. no worries ill lock in#so i borrow my friends knockoff airpods and sneak a couple bites in of my cheese curds but like fast sneaky and hand over mouth type shit y#anyways the tags are probably gonna get cut off so ill wrap this up. i suffer through not being able to take a bite of my burger for a good#hour and 20 minutes and thne my phone just fucking dies. after all that#i had to like dodge my friends hands in the air i had to make sure no one was in my camera frame cause girl would regularly check too#that and my lack of sleep for the past three weeks just accumulate to me sobbing in culvers im so paatheicsdafjsdl
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ywpd-translations · 11 months
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Ride 749: The last Straight Road*
(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)
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Pag 1
1: I....
3: Imaizumi-san!!
4: Go- good work!!
Good work!!
You were taking a long time for this lap
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Pag 2
1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!
Yessir!!
2: It's the tire!!
4: Only tires can get a flat
Ah- damn, yes, that's right
Right!!
6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these
Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them
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Pag 3
2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?
Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....
3: You don't want to use the,?
We'll use them, thank you so much!!
4: You saved us, teh....!!
That's true
6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san
Earlier you said that
7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?
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Pag 4
1: He retired
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Pag 5
1: He's still displayed on the board, but
3: There's still time until midnight
If Sugimoto-kun....
4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!
5: Onoda insisted
6: Re... tired.....
Sugi..... moto-san....
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Pag 6
1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated
2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time
4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh
Huh!? That? So at that time-!?
5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things
As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years
6: Soon
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Pag 7
1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools
Yeah, there's still 40km
2: If we join our strengths....
Don't cooperate
5: Teh!?
7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends
8: Huh....
Our “buddies” stickers.....!?
You have to fight
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Pag 8
1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!
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Pag 9
1: Fa.... ight....
2: Against.... Kinaka-kun
3: Against.... Rokudai
4: 35km left!!
Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!
Do your best...!!
5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!
Amazing!
Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?
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Pag 10
1: Fight....
2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....
3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!
4: And also
5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!
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Pag 11
1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san
But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....
2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?
4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto
5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know
Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other
6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal
7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day
8: So I think we need it
9: Our third year Inter High members
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Pag 12
1: Definitely need a “first year”!!
3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be
4: He accepted it, and fought
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Pag 13
1: For the fifth place
3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!
That's too much food
4: Danchiku probably understood it, too
That's why he fought with all his strength
6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!
7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength
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Pag 14
1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!
2: Straaa-
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Pag 15
1: Straight roaaad!!
2: - traight!!
3: …. ngh
Ugh.....
4: Kinaka-kun.....
5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!
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Pag 16
1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!
If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!
2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!
To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!
3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!
So, for that....
6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!
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Pag 17
1: But, Kinaka-kun....
It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!
4: You knee? It's your knee, right?
Since when? Since a while ago?
5: Since when we were at about 800km
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Pag 18
1: It's a race, Rokudai
2: You should have told me, teh
I didn't notice, teh!!
3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....
4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race
6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race
7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore
So, once again...
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Pag 19
1: It's a race, Rokudai!!
3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!
I can't, teh
4: Race me, pedal!!
I don't want to, teh....
5: Fight me!!
I won't pedal, teh
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Pag 20
1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh
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Pag 22
1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High
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puppyeared · 1 year
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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nerime · 6 months
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my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭
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algrenion · 1 month
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notoriously awful at remaining up to speed on current events and trends
worse still at keeping in touch with my friends and my loved ones
had to ask my partner if it was me who cleaned the dishes or him
dissociation is so exhausting, dude… it just gets worse as you get older and take on more responsibility
i kind of hate thinking about the people i care about… they must think that i don’t give a fuck about them, but i do… im just in a constant state of confusion
i don’t know what to say to people directly, other than saying sorry and slinking away
always in apology to others and confusion to myself
that’s not a good friend to have, is it?
the reality is i’m living moment to moment, confused, a little scared, a bit excited
you’ll see me online but not quite present… if there’s one constant here, it’s that im sorry…
im sorry
im sorry all the time
i wish I could be better to my friends
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baby-xemnas · 1 year
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a type of guy
(they couldnt be more different)
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einsatzzz · 4 days
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Hello ❤️ I have some meta asks for your ocs
Kana: What controversies/drama would your character incite in fandom?
And (yes she gets two because I am biased and looking for crumbs)
What is the quote between your character and their love interest/whoever they might be shipped with that their fans would latch onto?
Kurumi: What would be the ‘incorrect but wildly popular’ interpretation of your character in fandom?
Yui: If your character had a breakout show/film/comic, what would the plot be? Who would be in their supporting cast?
- 🍎
Hello 🍎Anon 🫶✨👀 Thank you for sending this over and enabling me to yap more about my blorbos 🥰🥰🥰 I only know what to talk about when I draw them, but for pure text posts I often blank out on what to say, so I love asks! I will try my best to give you Kana crumbs too!
🍎Kana: What controversies/drama would your character incite in fandom?
If Kana were a canon character, Kana and controversies/drama are like blood brothers, like soulmates. They are a set package. It wasn't there at the start or perhaps there will be initial discourse about her gender. But fandom will find out eventually that they have bigger fish to fry. As more and more layers of her character gets revealed, the more fandom discourse there is. She is certainly not a character for people who view things in a black or white manner or those with low reading comprehension 😭🤣😭🤣 *looks at those gear grindingly loud mfs on twi//ter*
On the surface, she would prob be reduced to either a some kind of siscon (memes included) or straight-up a cruel/heartless character with ulterior motives ("maybe her love for Kurumi is just a facade? and she has ulterior motives?"). If you peel off the first few layers, you will see that she really does genuinely love Kurumi and her family, for better or for worse. If you peel off more layer, you will see an asshole. If you peel even more layers, you will see an even bigger asshole banned from hell.
Also do you know that one meme where they keep putting Oi\\kawa (from Hai\\kyuu, a VOLLEYBALL series) in a line up of actual villains/war criminals?
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Kana would be there, except she kinda deserves to be there. People who don't get the joke would complain about why Oi//kawa keeps getting included in these fuckass lists that includes Kana and other messed up characters lmao (truthfully i didn't get it at first when i saw it and was lowkey pissed since im an oi//kawa oshi lmaooo now it's just funny every time i see it. still crazy to see him lined up with characters like d//io or aiz//en or gri//ffith like damn wwwwww)
Did you know? My favorite character from Monster is Joh//ann Lieb//ert hahahaha nothing important, just wanna say it haha,,,hahaha,,,,, pls ignore if you don't know Monster sdkjfsdhvfsd
🍎Kana: What is the quote between your character and their love interest/whoever they might be shipped with that their fans would latch onto?
The least spoilery thing I can come up with on the spot on is Hibari telling her "You're so stupid (affectionate & relieved)" after she does (and says) something objectively very stupid that could even give YuiRumi&family a heart attack & a stroke simultaneously.
Short, simple, effective. ME, personally, I will lose my mind and latch onto it even on my deathbed.
If you want something that could potentially come from a Kana POV, I do have a quote like this saved:
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🎀Kurumi: What would be the ‘incorrect but wildly popular’ interpretation of your character in fandom?
For Kurumi, I think modern fandom would focus too much on her gender? There would be a divide in the fandom based on how they interpret the "Gender: ?" in her profile lmao We can see a lot of people insisting that she's non-binary. That's fine and all, everyone is free to interpret characters as they like (except if the creator has reiterated clear rules and boundaries for it). The problem is that we can also see people say that you can't refer to her as anything else but non-binary sjdgbhjsdfvhjsbfd
🤖Yui: If your character had a breakout show/film/comic, what would the plot be? Who would be in their supporting cast?
My understanding of this question is that it's asking for a Yui spin-off where he's the MC! It would be in a light novel format under the romantic comedy genre (with some sci-fi, perhaps? because he loves making robots hahaha inb4 it becomes a mecha story). The story's main couple would be him and Hiyori, because that's what Yui would've wanted. He is delusional and down bad.
In terms of shipping, we actually have three main ships we've committed to. It's just that I often end up posting about the two CanonxOC pairs more sjkdfjskdf but the third one is an OCxOC pair between Yui and Hiyori (YuiHiyo). Sowwwwyyy Yui! uwu Hiyorin is holding me at syringe-point and telling me to shut the fuck up about it.
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skinks · 2 years
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Ñíbrahge. 
Hm?
Ñíbrahge. Means water that’s flat. It’s Otoe.
Yeah, Nebraska. Like I said.
Ñíbrahge.
chaske spencer as eli whipp // The English (2022) 1.05 “The Buffalo Gun”
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bark4it · 4 months
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need someone who loves me so much they have to lock my collar to their belt. love me so much you can't let me out of your sight.
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nedsseveredhead · 2 months
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I know i have it better than most so i really shouldnt complain but living through this current political climate (of the last 8 years even) is just so.. exhausting. Our rights dangling on a knifes edge, my existence debated as some hypothetical scapegoat by politicians, twitter idiots, and childrens authors alike.. several genocides happening that no one in power seems to care about. My constant news feed is just. Horrible warcrime, stupid take on the warcrime, transphobia, someone dunking on the transphobia but i still have to see the transphobia for their joke to land, warcrime warcrime... Its just so exhausting.
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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Boy King Seb :D
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#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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carcarrot · 3 months
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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