#im just going to stay in my own little bubble and never talk to people about things i like

[urstoryteller]

[aryxchse]

the same type of blue. | percy jackson x daughter of hera! reader.

a / n : the history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself. and i won't shut up about how logan lerman and his wife being sally and poseidon in my head

warnings : emotional, i can't warm up to paul im sorry, sally and poseidon should've been an endgame but idek how, mentioning past, you looking like sally, crying, some of the hera cabin power mentions that i had in mind

the moment sally jackson met you, was the moment she saw her teenage self in your eyes.

you were this funny and bubbly girl who was too nice for your own good. you had these mother instict in you that later she found out it was because of your mother being hera. you would always say what type of marriage you imagine with percy and how many kids do you want. one boy and one girl, doesn't matter who's the older. the girl was going to have percy's eyes, but the boy will have yours.

and it always put a smile on her face to listen you talk about your dreams so comfortly to her. because she saw herself in those dreams. they were once her dreams too.

percy looked and acted too much like poseidon for sally's own good. he would unknowingly make his dad's jokes, and would call you 'darling' like he did to her back then. all these little details would remind sally her past love.

it was a barbeque day for the jackson-blofis family at the montauk cabin. where you were obviously invited, and poseidon, obviously was not. he liked to show up in family gatherings once in a while, to spend some time with his son or suprisingly, estelle.

you and sally prepared the table as the boys made the meat while laughing at something. paul and poseidon had this awkward friendship that always made you giggle. and percy would chat with his biological dad more often, since he felt more comfortable with him. don't get me wrong, he loved paul. all of you loved paul. but poseidon's warm energy made him easier to talk.

you never thought you'd have a dinner with a god but here you were, eating a meal with one of the most powerful gods ever existed. poseidon was really good at making people forget that he's a god, the one that rules the seven seas.

after the dinner, percy and you started to clean the area as paul went inside to watch this new game he followed, you didn't really paid attention. sally stayed outside, smelling the sea's calming scent, her bare feet dipping in the sand.

she looked over were poseidon and estelle was playing. he made sand castles with her as he laughed like a true grandpa. it made sally chuckle too, seeing him acting all fatherly with her daughter.

"he wants to make up for it," you said, and it made sally slightly jump. you apologised while putting a hand on her shoulder. "you know, since he couldn't look out for percy and you."

sally's eyes started to water up, but she managed to crack a smile. "how do you know this?" she asked. you shrugged, "i can feel a parent's feelings, even if they're a god. weird power, i know." you chuckled at the end with her.

"he didn't had any choice," sally muttered, looking at the sea again. you nodded. "i know, but he still feels bad. he really loves you sally, still like the first time." your whispering words made sally want to breakdown right then and there, but she only sighed.

"baby!" percy called behind you, smiling like a little kid. you both turned around as you made your way to percy, giggling. once again, it reminded sally the good times. but she wasn't alone this time, poseidon could also see the similarities between them. how you had sally's hair back then like how she used it, and how percy was a literal copy of himself.

sally sat next to poseidon as he sat there silently, watching his son and his girlfriend chase eachother around the beach, just like he and sally did. estelle was asleep in his arms, the calm energy he radiated making the girl fall asleep immediatly.

"they're just like us." poseidon whispered, not looking at the woman he still loved. sally smiled, not that he would see. "yeah. but a better version." she responded.

"one that ends happily unlike us." he agreed, too afraid to look in her eyes. sally didn't said anything, and the past lovers watched their son having the time of his life with the girl he loved.

suddenly percy lifted you up on his shoulders and ran into the water with you, still being clothed. you whined the moment you swimmed up. "percy it's not fair!" you yelled at him between your giggles.

"m' wet too baby, see? there's nothing unfair in this!" percy laughed with her, hugging her waist tightly so that she won't slip away.

"you used to do that too," sally whispered to poseidon, smile hurting her cheeks at this point. poseidon mimicked her facial expressions as he nodded quickly.

"and you would always whine like her." he chuckled, making the woman laugh along with him.

percy stepped out from the water with the help of the waves, still holding you in his arms in bridal style. while he made his way into the cabin, he spinned you around once in a while to make you laugh.

"he's really your son." sally chuckled, watching the couple enter the cabin.

"he's our son." poseidon corrected. he finally faced the woman, and saw the tears perking in her eyes through a smile. this was sally jackson, the woman he loved the most. smiling through everything.

he made the tears go away with a flick of his hand, too afraid to touch her. "a proof that our love was real, not a dream i had."

[ivystoryweaver]

im so interested in what u think the moon boys would be like as dads???

Ohhhhh, this is gonna hurt my heart. In a good way. I have a lot of feelings about Moon Dads and I've not yet written fics about it so yeah...

I'm gonna jump right in with Marc.

I think if Marc had a child, he would be all in: attentive, tender, affectionate.

I don't actually believe Marc would be afraid of parenting. I know that can be a popular hc/fic plot and I totally understand why, and love reading those.

But I think Marc would be one of those people that would try to do the opposite of what was done to him. Example: his parents were married and that went well... (sarcasm)

Yet Marc got married. He and Layla were together for years and, according to her, had "adventures together", meaning they worked as a (likely successful) team. Marc bailed on Layla once his mom passed and he could no longer control or hide his disassociations (plus Khonshu's threats for Layla to be his next avatar).

Point being: Marc did get married and seemed pretty successful at it, for the most part.

Marc is in charge of bath time. This includes little toy boats, fish that squirt water, bubbles. He's going to wash their hair, or whatever hair needs they have, depending on race and hair types. If it is a hair type he isn't as familiar with, he is going to be talking to his partner, looking up vids, whatever it takes. Touch is going to be so important to him. He is the dad who will know how to do french braids or styles for textured hair.

He's never going to react in anger. If he is angry, he's going to hand the reins to Steven or sometimes Jake (if he is able, it's obviously not a parlor trick), or he will just say to his little one, "Daddy is going to take a time out. I'll be back in a minute and we can have a talk." The idea of putting himself in time out is so endearing to his child that they end up calming from whatever misbehavior they were attempting, wanting to join him in the corner for time out, touching a plushie or reading a book in his lap.

They learn very young that their father's expressions can be stern but his hands are safe. They will not want to disappoint him.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Steven can converse naturally with children, this we see in the first episode. Steven's open, engaging nature is great for children. His own childlike wonder will shine in fatherhood. He was also able to quickly redirect the behavior of the girl who was littering at the museum. So a spunky child in a doctor's office waiting room will be easily wrangled by a distracting toy, quick game or wonderful story.

Steven is your go-to guy for bedtime stories. With a young child, Steven will share how wondrous the world around them is. He'll always have a anecdote or a fun fact for tweens or teens.

He will offer choices. "Do you want to put on 'jammies now or after a story?" "Do you want to help Dad set the table or feed the cat?" Steven has lacked agency in his life, so he is going to give it to his child. He will teach them to speak up for their needs.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Jake is going to be such a little shit as a dad. I'm sorry but there is no nicer way to say it lol. Jake's used to operating in the background and he's a night owl. He's the fun dad. He's the "don't tell mom" dad (or don't tell dad, dad). Kid wants stay up 15 extra minutes? It's Jake that's gonna sneak them some of the popcorn he popped after they were supposed to be asleep. As a partner, you'd find your little one on Jake's knee in the most comfy chair, watching the Yankees play baseball.

You give them The Look™ and they know they are busted. They exchange guilty glances and then Jake starts repeating words in Spanish. Baseball, Popcorn, very good! If you are already all Spanish speakers then Jake pretends to be practicing in both Spanish and English.

Either way, he and his little twin, with their adorable curls, give you shit eating grins.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Askbox

[sm-baby]

Able strikes me as… the kind of person that does things right naturally. Like for the carnival AU, I bet in real life he was just good at everything without even trying. Everyone likes him, he’s just great in his own, I bet him and Caine even look similar, like the kind where the real only difference is maybe height, and style.

Caine is the younger brother that is jealous, he is extremely jealous even if he doesn’t want to be. He wants to be content with himself, but it is so damn hard with a sibling that even unintentionally looms over you. Getting mistaken for them at places, and when people meet you it’s always “Oh you’re Able’s brother” or “oh I hope you’ll be like him” and it’s a little flattering but mostly discouraging mentally. He wants to be like Able, but he knows he can’t.

Like a couple years back when my sister graduated a year early in high school, literally a cyber expert by the time she got out, and already years in on collage work, meanwhile I was your average struggling student, so even though she’s my favorite older sibling, we look similar, sound similar, hell, some people have mistaken me for her but with shorter hair. I know that having someone loom over you like that, someone everyone likes, everyone loves, and is just better in every way, it makes you go to the darkest places at times.

And that’s just me— from what you’ve said of Caine’s family, they just seem toxic. Caine if five times better than me and even my older sister who’s amazing, he knows so many languages and is so awesome in general, yet his parents have the nerve to do his. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a fucked up yin-yang sibling story, so I can really sort of relate to what u assume Caine is going through. It’s hard when you have similar interests, looks, and so much more with someone, yet everyone just loves them, and not you, and you have no clue why. And you want to be proud, you are proud, you’re happy, but some part of you deep inside just wishes you didn’t exist, or that the person you’re always compared to didn’t exist, so then no one would be able to compare you. Sometimes it’s obvious, people saying the differences, other times it’s fully a mental thing, I never was compared to my older sister by parents, but it’s a like a part of me knew that I was insignificant.

If it’s anything like the personal relationship I have with this person in my life, Caine and Able are close, but there are moments where it just bubbles through, the destain and/or harsh thoughts finally get to the surface of the water. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an argument because Caine snapped at Able and started talking about how damn great Able is to everyone. My older sibling seems a bit like Able, and she never was forced into being perfect, it’s just natural for them. It’s a rocky relationship, when you know you love that person, that sibling means the world to you, but there’s that envy in part of you. I would sort of like it if this is expanded on more, maybe just a bit because I find it somewhat personal, you don’t have to, but I think it would be interesting if this was specifically shown somewhere. Siblings relationships are tough, but I personally know that… this particular style, the kind of sibling relationship I have with that one older sibling and the relationship Caine and Able have, is extremely hard. Because it never goes away, that spite and the small bit of hatred, but you just have to live with it, you blame yourself for your shortcomings, it never leaves, but you still stay close. They’re still your favorite person, still someone that you feel like you can share everything with, and you learn that you can’t get over those bad feeling, they just exist.

…I really need to stop writing when I’m half asleep. Might continue on how Carnival Pomni is similar to me, next time I’m half asleep and typing/j

*pat pat* it will definitely be touched upon... Im too proud of Caine's writing to leave him in the dark... Im so happy you relate to him that way, and Im sorry to hear how rocky your relationship is with your sister. Best of luck to both of you <3

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Hey bestie sooooo lots of stuff happened and there was an opportunity I was really hoping I was gonna get, and I didn’t. On top of that it went to the same favorite people that get everything every time and I’ve just been feeling really upset and everything so if you’ve got any mingi comfort that would be great. I could just really use a lil virtual hug rn 😅. There’s a bunch of other stuff that led up to this but now im just feeling really hopeless and wanting to give up on my major even though it’s my dream. I think I kinda need to just sit and wallow for a bit and I’ll be fine but if you got any fluff I could use all of it 😅🩷

aw babes i'm sorry to hear that 😭🫂 you and me both honestly really need a virtual hug (nah a real hug actually) and well, i hope you get much better things than what you were aiming for! we never know where the flow of life is gonna take us so hoping for the best for you, always 🩷 and i hope you fight for your dream too! if you want to talk about it, i'm here for you 🩷

a mingi comfort fluff though, who am i to deny you? ;)

there are times in your life when all you want to do is lay down on a bed and sink through it into the void

or lay down on soft grass and hope the ground swallows you

you put a weight over yourself in the form of your blanket- the only physical thing weighing you down among a bunch of other invisible things

but that isn't enough

the warmth of it, the softness of it, it isn't enough

everything is silent. you can hear the static background noise- that's how quiet it is

could this go on forever while you gather your pieces together?

could time stand still for you?

no.

it never will

you're being swallowed by a bunch of thoughts

i'm alone in this world

no one will understand me

everything is over

there's no going back from here

and a bunch of other negative phrases that are murky in your head, but there in all their mighty presence

it feels like everything you've worked for is crumbling down in front of your eyes

everything is going wrong, wrong- where did it all start to go wrong?

you can't quite put a finger to it

all you know is that you are overwhelmingly sad.

the emotion 'sad' didn't make much sense to you- you always thought it was associated with some other emotion or feeling- such as when you lose someone dear and it's associated with grief

but now... you think you're starting to understand a little what's it like to be just sad. the plain old sad

it springs a little sarcastic laugh out of you and you have to purse your lips to keep another awful sound from bubbling out of you

but this time, your ears detect the familiar sound of footsteps in the house and you wonder just how deep in your thoughts you were to miss the sound of the door unlocking

you don't move. you don't make an effort to. you just hope that he goes to take a shower first or starts cooking. you hope he doesn't realise you're home already

you hope you get a little time to yourself so he doesn't have to see you in this state-

but a knock sounds on the door anyway and his voice calls your name, his eyes probably searching the darkness

you hope that he misses your curled figure in the blankets, but he's far too observant for that

he doesn't turn on the lights. you feel the edge of your bed dip as he sits there

"you're not hiding from me... are you?"

it's mingi. you could cry just hearing his voice

"no... just tired. i'll be out in a few minutes."

he doesn't miss the crack in your voice either

"do you want me to give you some space, or do you want me to stay?"

there's one thing you love about mingi. he always asks you what you need

and he always gives you what you ask for

if it's space you need, he will gladly give you it because he realises the importance of personal space and just sorting your own mess yourself

he won't question you until you talk yourself but he will keep reminding you that he's here

he's perfect in that way

but if it's him you need... he'll drop everything to be with you too

he'll either just hold you in silence or mutter affirmations

and for the first time in a while, you don't know what you need

so you tell him exactly that

mingi sighs deeply and gets up. you wonder if he's going to leave so you check through the little gap in the blanket, your heart beating anxiously

but he only draws the curtains apart just a fraction so he can see better

and then he's back, crawling in the bed next to you and asking if he can get in the blanket with you

you allow it. you scoot a bit to give him some space and he positions the blankets so he can hold you in his arms as he lies down next to you

you're slower this time as you make way to him and he notices that too. so he simply just holds you for a while

and you let the tears flow and wet his sweatshirt. you will apologise later, but for now, you can't stop it

his hand caresses your back repeatedly in soft, circular motions. his other hand is holding yours and squeezing it affectionately

you don't know how long you stay like this but at some point, the tears stop flowing and you move a little to wipe your face

"sorry for being a mess," you laugh and he lets out a short chuckle himself

"you know it's perfectly fine with me," he assures you, planting a kiss on the top of your head. "feeling better?"

"a bit, yeah," you tell him. you take a few deep breaths

"what's wrong, love?"

"everything," you sigh. "everything's going wrong at the same time and it's too much, mingi."

mingi brings you back in a hug, this time stronger and a reminder that you're not alone

and you realise that yes- you may have been a little selfish when thinking that you were truly alone in this world

you have him

your constant source of strength, a pillar to lean on

someone who always nudges you in the right direction when you're lost

someone whose words of wisdom heal you

and someone who makes you laugh, especially when he's being goofy like now

"shall we take that little trip now? drop everything and run away?"

"oh, how i wish i could, but i can't run away from this," you sigh.

and just like that, you start talking. slowly, but gradually, you tell him the sequence of events

and he gives you the validation you need- that everything you're feeling right now... it's okay to feel that

he makes you sit in front of him and he holds your hands as you work everything out

he gives objective answers- he knows your strengths and weaknesses, and he suggests the best course

he also plans every possible direction things could go from here on out- something he's really good at

"and like i always say... it can only get better from here, right?"

"sure feels like an all time low, so... yeah?" you say.

"every time i think i'm at an all time low, life throws another one at me"

you laugh at that- he's relatable like this

"well... it can't get worse than this, maybe, yeah?"

"and even if something bad happens," mingi addresses the anxiety in your heart. "even if things don't go as planned and you have to give up something important, you should remember that you're a strong person who can get through this."

you nod, letting his words sink in

"i'm here for you, yes," he says, "but i'm only a guide and emotional support, yeah? whatever you do, it's all you. and you're incredible and amazing. you will get through this. i'm proud of every decision you will make moving forwards. i believe in you, love."

it's all you need to hear and a few tears spill again, but you smile through them as you look at mingi, the dark strands falling over his forehead, his eyes warm

mingi, the person who makes you stand on your own two feet time and time again

mingi, who makes you realise that you can face anything in this world on your own

and mingi, who'll be there when you return from your battles. who'll patch you up, kiss your head and hug you

just like he hugs you now, all warmth and love

he brings you outside so you can eat dinner and it gets better

you don't feel like you're drowning anymore

you're not out of that surface, no, but it's a whole lot better for sure

he talks to you and you address other things in between jokes and kisses exchanged

and when it's time for bed, he holds you, preparing you for tomorrow

it will be okay

you will be okay.

[twstedteaparty]

Just a small thin that had been brewing for a bit.

It’s supposed to be a leoide more Centered around Leona and my head cannons around his relationship with falena and there age gap (all based on my own brother and i) not adding dialogue i hate writing that stuff so much but im also trying to just get better and setting the scene and like exposition.

Also I pushing my Idia is a little more fucked up then people seem to realized and that he’s cleaner then people realize agenda because I’m sic of people stereotyping him as a gross gamer boy

I’m also pushing my Leona cares more then he lets on and they Idia fell first and miraculously Leona fell about a throsand times harder

From the day Leona was born falena loved the little cub he was 10 almost 11 when Leona was born his parents didn’t even get a name out before falena had (accidentally) called the little cub Leona and they all accepted it. Falena would take Leona with him every where he could since he parents where never really around. They were off doing royal stuff and talking with the elders, so falena took care of the little cub.

By the time Leona was 11, falena was in power over the kingdom. He still made time for his little brother. Tho the one time he was left un attended he’d gotten attacked by a turkey vulture and got injured. Falena was there to pick him up and get him fixed.

There falling out had happend three years after that. Falena had started courting the captain of the gauards. A gorgeous and strong woman, Leona couldent stand it he’d felt like he’d lost his brother the only person who seems to care about him that dident veiw him horribly. He kept his mouth shut and pretended to be happy about it. It’s not like it had matters to much once falena had an heir Leona could never become king. Hatred and resentment bubbled up slowly.

Cheka came around a year later. Leona got to hold him. He through the little cub looked goofy the falena assured him that’s how they all looked. The first year with Cheka around was fine tho the second year it became a pain tho despite that he stayed around to help.

July was always the worst both his parents had passed away during that month. His father died 17 days before his birthday and his mother only died 8 days before his birthday. He hated it. He dident even cry at there funeral. He wasent close to them anyways. Tho on his 17th birthday he’d finally decided to go to night raven just to escape from home and all the chaos.

His first and second year go off with out a hitch. He stayed behind the first winter. He figured he’d have been alone. He was sitting in the cafeteria (the only part of school still open) staring at a blue haired boy and his robot. Luckily for him Idia (which he’d heart come out of the robots mouth) wasent paying attention or if he was he was hiding pretty well behind the lap top screen. That was how he’d spend his morning during the winter break after that. Tho after his second year he dident see Idia around as much.

Tho that had also changed quickly during there third year. After his own overblot and his brother worring he’d decided to say fuck it and embrace some positive emotions so with Ruggie help he carefully started trying to court Idia tho it was hard to tell if it was working since he never saw idias reaction. Although he’d heard from ortho that Idia had seemed a bit more cheerful since he’d descoverd somebody actually liked him.

At some point Leona properly confesssed. If he had to recall correctly once they were all back from S.T.Y.X he whent to go find Idia. It had taken him awhile. Idias dorm was the only one what had a bathroom attached to it with a full working shower. he’d found Idia curled up in the shower since it was away from people and it was dark. He’d held Idia for what seems like hours.

Idia had been stressed out forcing him self to stay some what rational during his time as acting director for S.T.Y.X. Hed been muttering the whole time about how sorry he was for putting all the other house wardens through that and for even over blotting in the first place. He felt bad that the house wardens basically had to stop him and that he’d potentially hurt them more than they let on.

Leona had to shut idias muttering up some how So he had kissed him and shut him right up. The rest of the year was blurry but during there fourth year they kept in contact via text then graduated.

After that Leona wound up staying with Idia.it took quite a bit to convince the elders that this would be good for public relations and would strengthen the kingdom and some other bull shit. There wedding was small really it was only Cheka ortho falena and his wife plus some of there old school mates. Yuu officiated the wedding, Leona found that funny.

Staying with Idia it left no room for him to be second to anything. Idia would stop his work to spend time with Leona. They made sure to play duo game. They were absolutely eachothers world and it showed.

[qoldenskies]

Yes yes yes I love ask games :3

14, 21, and 76? (for CL specifically on the last one!!)

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

i am a verrrryyyy sensitive person who's had a fair share of panic attacks (my record was uhhh three in a row in one school day! i think i was in seventh grade? but it was once a day for pretty much my whole sophmore year it was NASTY, especially because i had fits that could last hourrsss) so i really claw deep into my own experiences when i write guilt and spiraling thoughts, it's not really cathartic or triggering for me but it helps me get into their brains a little!! although i HAVE cracked at couple of scenes, never into tears but sometimes i find myself holding my breath or feeling a pit in my stomach. i was actually hyperventilating a little when i wrote cw ch11 it was craaaazy

really i think the thing ive tried to emphasize the most was to go out of my way not to make it... detached, i guess? its a limited third person pov so im thinking in the way they see the world, how things go in and out of focus, etc etc. it can fuck with the prose but i think punchy simplicity works well especially when it comes to scenes with despair/fear (i think of that one line "He was feverish and delirious. He was scared and alone. It was so dark." in CL because goddd he's just a kidddddd.,,,,,)

idk im mostly eyeballing like everything i dont have any concrete advice

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

oh for sure at some point, maybe!! although i go at an extremely fast pace and my mind is always racing, and when i used to try to collaborate with my friends with ocs and stuff i always got. frustrated always having to consult them, so i would end up in my own little bubble and i always felt like such an asshole :( im worried i would end up doing something like that if i did, although i dont think i had problems doing it back in like 2019 so maybe? fanfic might be different, especially since its a lot more linear

its an appealing idea for sureeee, especially if i have a lot of synergy with the other person and i dont feel awkward presenting ideas LOL

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?

ive gotten some ideas that i thought up AFTERWARDS, but when it comes to CL as i was writing it hmmm yeah i actually cut a couple of things because i put it out a little precooked,, originally i thought i was gonna release it on halloween!!

it was mostly in regards to the early stuff, little scenes that i thought would round out the pacing that i cut because i couldnt find any inspiration for them, but when it comes to the nasty abuse i will say: i was originally planning to show the beatdown in the hallway, and i wanted to rewrite the family meeting to make it worse. i've ACTUALLY been cornered like that by my family before (for uh. asking for therapy of all things, it's in the Traumatic Experience log, but its been years and they've all apologized and changed dw), although not to that extent, so i felt like i couldve made it longer. just make it crueler and crueler and crueler. and then i thought about it and was like Ehhhh raph wouldn't allow that he's not that far gone yet LOL. dude i was originally going to make them tear into EVERYTHING i could possibly think up. down to his little verbal quirks and the way he stands (and that's less from MY personal experience and more the way that i've seen people ONLINE shit talk others, especially neurodivergent lolcows. it was a very good source of inspiration). it was very close to getting nasstyyyyy.

OH and i wanted donnie to stay with april a little longer but it didnt turn out that way, i got her into the story like i wanted so success (and his absence gave them space to plan the murder attempt)

[nothing-but-luv-for-you]

do you have any tips for high school? im starting today but im nervous 😭😭😭

I AM SO LATE . i really hope your day was alright , honey ! how was it ?

some tips :

always , ALWAYS bring hygiene essentials (deodorant & feminine products at the very bare minimum)

never know when you or someone else might need them !

go to bed earlier , don’t be on your electronics or any screens at least an hour before you decide to sleep

you will feel like shit if you fall asleep doomscrolling or staying up past midnight on your phone , ngl that’s just fact . your rest is so important ! high school can be a little bit of a change in comparison to middle and elementary . i’ve found that your first year is usually acts as a transition period between middle and high school , and you’ll get a gist of it all .

set time aside for yourself

i cannot stress how important it is to prioritize yourself , especially in high school . i know it might sound like a load of fluff , but i’ve found that high school has been a period of self-discovery for me whilst also having to balance extracurriculars and school work . always , always spend at least ten minutes with yourself , away from school work and phones and all of that .

find your interests

i found myself so lost my freshman year of hs . for the first three months , i consistently talked to two people in only one of my four classes . i felt so alone , and i wallowed in that . i wish i had the courage to step out of my bubble then , and maybe i would’ve gotten to where i am now sooner . joining theatre at my school truly did wonders for me ; i was surrounded by people who cared about similar things as me , and who were passionate as me . it did wonders for me .

compliment someone ! (or something like that)

i found that making small goals helped me a lot . be it , making sure i have a snack after PE or smiling at someone in the hall , really helped me ground myself . i have a personal goal of complimenting at least one person , be it a friend or a stranger . it helped me grow more confident in my own self and build my courage (that’s not to say i don’t still struggle)

be gentle with yourself , alright ? failure does not define you . listen to your gut when it tells you someone is bad for you . on the flip side , learn to trust others , too . not everyone is out to hurt you .

let me know if you want to hear any more tips ! i sort of rushed my response now because i’m getting back so late T^T . i hope your first day went well , luv !

[dexiiexox]

Bestfriend headcanons for Nick Sturniolo💜

a/n; Hihi! First time writing for Nick :))👍 might be off, but these are just what I imagine so enjoyyy :> and I know for a FACT that there are so many words Ive spelled wrong in this one, but Im too lazy to proof read it :)

Nick Sturniolo x reader (platonic)

warnings: none?

summary: headcanons of what I imagine being bestfriends with Nick Sturniolo would be like!

SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES❕

————————————————————————

I firmly belive that Nick would never jugde you if you’re close friends, he might not always agree on certain topics, but he would never jugde you

And that is also why you guys have such a close bond, you guys are able to tell eachother everything, wether it’s realationships, concerns, drama, something that’s recently been going on, anything, doesnt matter, you guys tell eachother

I just know he would take your concerns very seriously, he would always be there and listen to you rant to him about anything and nothing

And he would have no problem telling people off if they were out of line.

It had been a pretty stressful week and on top of that some of your "friends" had been acting so wierd. You guys hadnt hung out in a while, and you guys had decided to meet up since you had some openings in your schedual. But when you guys had hung out they had just been somewhat rude to you the whole time and made snarky comments. About the way you spoke or what you said.

You brushed it off in the start, but it just carried on and it honestly hurt. You just decided to stay quiet for the rest of the evening and left after you guys had grabbed some food.

You had just gotten home to your apartment, when you got a notification from your phone. It was a Snapchat notification, from a group.

You had been added in a groupchat with those same "friends" you had hung out with. There was one long message from them telling you they thought you had been acting wierd the whole evening. They stated that they thought it was rude that you werent talking much and left so quietly. They meant that you had changed.

You didnt really understand why they said that, where was all of this coming from? You hd been nothing but nice, despoter their comments and behaviour. You just sighed deeply and didnt bother to respond. All you wanted to do was shower and done off on the couch for the night.

You we’re able to take a shower before the doorbell rang. Getting dressed fairly quick, you went and opened the door. You we’re met with concerned Nick, now feiles written in his face.

I can definetly imagine Nick calling you or FaceTiming you whenever he needs to rant about shit that just annoys him

I was sat at my desk, browsing through random stuff on my laptop.I was in my own little bubble, listening to some slow songs and just mindlessly scrolling. That was until a loud ring startled me and brought me out of my daze.

It was a FaceTime call from Nick and I could see his face on screen. I pauses the music and answered the call.

"Hey-" I was cut short.

"Holy fuck!" Nick was basically screaming through the phone.

I was taken a back by his loud voice.

"Whats up?" I asked concerned seeing how bothered he sounded.

"Chris has been a fucking idiot all night." he let out a huff as he layed down on his bed. I just laughed a little.

"What’s he done now?" I gave Nick a questioning look.

"Oh boy if you knew, kids spilled my whole fucking Snapple in the car" I could clearly hear the annoyance in Nicks voice. I just giggled a little imagining how that scene wouldve looked like.

"And he’s jumping around like a damn monkey! He jumped back ONTO me!" He raider his voice again. I burst out laughing at that point and Nick ended up letting out a few giggles as well.

"Hellooo? Isnt that crazy?" He asked still giggling lightly.

"Sounds like Chris to me" I smiled back.

From there the conversation just went on, Nick rambled some more about Chris' shananigans in the car before we started talking about everything else that came to mind.

I also imagine that Nick would need help figuring out what to wear, and sometimes you would too

Like before going out, you guys just sit on the bed while the other one tries on different outfits and get the others opinion on it

(UFHSKDNDN i just need to use this opertunity to say that Nick is SO FUCKING PRETTY!! He looks so gorgeous I dont even know where to start)

Nick had invited me to go out for dinner with him, Chris, Matt and a few of their other friends.

And as usual I had stopped by their apartment so me and Nick could help eachother find the right outfit for the night. I had brought with me a few different outfits and clothes I was thinking about wearing, but I still couldnt really figure it out.

I had chatted with the three of them in the kitchen for a while before me and Nick made out way to his bedroom to get ready.

We had spendt some time trying to find the right outfit for Nick, and we finally found it. We ended up with him wearing his red and black knitted sweater, black parachute pants, his black chunky shoes and a pair of black glasses as an accesorie.

We spendt a good while figuring out what I would wear, all the outfits I tried either seemed somewhat off or like something was missing.

"No, it looks kind of odd?"

"Yeah, I dont know about this one"

"Absolutely not"

I tried on dresses, skrits, tops, shorts, fishnets, and I tired mutiple different outfits, but nothing felt right.

"The pants made it kind of wierd"

"Ouuhh.. yeah no-.."

"I think I’m loosing my mind, what the hell is this?"

I rubbed my eyes and sighed. I went back into the bathroom and tried on my last outfit. I looked myself in the mirror and smiled. I actually really liked it, but I needed to see what Nick thought of it. So I opened the door and stepped into his room. Nick looked up from his phone and smiled at me.

"Uhh yeah! Defiently, you look good girl!"

I smiled at his compliment.

"Thanks"

We both finished getting ready, we chilled downstairs with Matt and Chris before we all headed out for the evening.

————————————————————————

Im too lazy to write more :)👍

Regardless of that though, hope you had a good night or day and youre worth so much💕💕

-dexy💕

[luvrodite]

okay my neighbor!jason and roommate!jason thots are going wild right now bc I feel like both of their slow burns end so differently. Like yours and neighbor!jason’s relationship is a slow and steady pining that is more sweet and the catalyst is a “why don’t you just stay here?” after you try to watch all of the lord of the rings movies in one night. and it’s all cuddles and soft kisses and making breakfast and morning sex bc you’re just that comfortable and close at that point you don’t even care you’re just glad it’s finally happening.

meanwhileeee you and roommate!jason have spent so long tiptoeing around each other and suppressing your feelings, convincing yourself the other doesn’t feel the same that it almost ends in a fight of “well how do you think I feel watching you go out with other people?/hearing you get off in the other room?/knowing it’s not me?” and then a “well maybe I wish it was!” and the hottest and filthiest make out session and sex ever known to man and also god.

have a good day/night🫡

nonnie im so glad u get it.

also minors dni + have your age in your bio if you interact

like with neighbour!jason i just imagine it being very luke and lorelai esque, where he's just that guy. like he's your (i imagine him a little older, maybe late twenties/early thirties) hot as shit neighbour who you can always always count on. because he's a good guy. he sees you in the hall and he says hello and you guys talk and hang out occasionally but it's never beyond platonic even though sometimes you feel like he might be flirting with you and sometimes he gets a little quiet when he looks at you. and you grow closer and closer, and you get comfortable enough to blur that line when you flirt with him in the mornings to get a reaction, you feel less inclined to hide your quirks etc. because he's jason. he's wonderful. and you're going to be so happy for whoever he ends up with but at the same time, the thought of someone coming into your lives–because he's part of your life now! he's your friend as much as he's your neighbour. he's seen you cry and he's seen you messy and he's seen you when you've just woken up. the thought of there being someone else makes you a little envious, a little sad. he goes from being the hot guy next door to someone you genuinely care about and love, and that complicates it, because love is scary and you don't want to ruin one of the best relationships in your life. (neighbour!jason is just waiting for you to come to terms with it because he already knows what he wants, age has made him steady, left him assured of himself. but he won't make any moves until he's certain that you're certain)

and with roommate!jason. oh my god. exactly that. i spoke about this with one of my moots but i imagine that the way roomie and jason end up together is extremely messy. they're both very explosive and young(er) and have so much learning to do even if they are adults living on their own with their own jobs/studies. like there's obviously that comfort of being friends but also, there's that tension between them because you're both so attracted to each other and aware of each other, but you still navigate yourselves like you're just roommates when underneath the surface there are so many feelings just simmering, simmering, simmering. you go on dates, jason pretends he isn't extremely jealous, you have to bite down your own envy when other girls eye him up at the store, he's heard you touch yourself–has jerked off to you. it all bubbles up. i imagine it takes a while before you guys end up officially together because you do it backwards. roommate!jason turns to roommate with benefits!jason who eventually turns into roommate/boyfriend!jason. you guys fuck and you know you've crossed the lines of your arrangement from the beginning but feelings are again. so vulnerable. and scary. so you keep quiet until once more someone gets jealous and the actual, deeper feelings come out.

anyway i am rambling. but thank you for sending these thoughts in. i've missed roommate jason and neighbour jason (even though i'm writing a fic for the former atm) and will take any opportunity to talk about them

[crackedpumpkin]

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

oh.

oh you BITCH.

i did not see this tbh you absolute fucker. Is this revenge for the innocent instrumental mix up because it is very effective.

✨️: Give yourself and your writing a compliment

Honestly though looking back from where I started and where I am now, I think I've improved loads as a writer and in general.

Tbh i started writing as an outlet for like my emotions, and it's like the safest bubble for my imagination lmao. when i was going thru some hard times writing was what helped me. And when I broke up with my ex, i processed thru it by writing this stupidly angsty oneshot thing that somehow people liked and followed me because of it?? ill never understand tumblr humans (hypocrite alert💀💀💀)

I can honestly say that i never expected to be where i am now with people that genuinely enjoy what i write, and its just such an euphoric rush every time i get reminded. im not a drug dealer by any means, but if other writers feel the same way i do when i get a comment or reblog i will gladly deal out lethal dosages of such ecstasy

for legal reasons this is only a half joke.

It makes me so happy and motivated to write even more, and now i have at least 5 different fics in the works already lmaooo :")

(Just a little side note tho; both the rise leo apocalypse au fic and miles morales fic will be released on the 1st of May okay byeeeee)

im honestly so grateful we started talking, and getting to know people like ginny, unknown, dork, sofa etc etc (its 2am and im tired ok this is why i should never answer things at 2am i cannot for the life of me remember names much less my own) has changed my life for the better.

Because I need an ego boost for myself rn, i like to think that i can be rather humourous at times, especially in some of my writing :) i still have such a long way to go before i can even scratch the surface of talented and amazing writers like @marwhoa @morning-sun-brah @afreakingdork @tmntxthings @hitechlatte and of course, you, you incredible, show-stopping stinker 💜

stay hydrated and safe or your ass is gonna shrivel and die faster than you can say TTLP.

[tojisun]

sun sun! can u give me some advice? IF NOT U CAN DISCARD THIS IGNORE IT AND ILL UNDERSTAND!!!

how do u meet people and talk to ppl and go on a date or something w them? i sound like im an alien but im literally too socially anxious (im sociable and get along well w ppl, but struggle heavily with approaching), self-conscious, n inexperienced to know what to do. i wanna make new friends and potentially date someone :<

(also did u get my last message in response to ur reply? or did tumblr eat it like a poopyhead?)

my love omg i have no game whatsoever so i cant *really* help u. my confidence is the size of an apple which is already a lot for me tbh bc it has to contend with my anxiety so my days are a cesspool of “i can do this… but what if i cant” energy LMFAO 🥲

AND IM LITERALLY LIKE THAT TOO OMG like im sociable bc i get adopted by extroverts but i cant approach on my own. and if i do, i find myself having so little i can even talk about past the surface level questions :((

to add, my prev partners were all my friends so i never really had the experience of asking out people and then going on dates to see if we’re gonna work out 😭

although i started mimicking my extroverted friends! theyre not extrovert in the archetype way wherein theyre bubbly or just so energetic? but theyre so proactive in making the conversation going and cementing a bond!

since i think you and i are alike (wherein our issue lies on the approaching part), id let u know what i do instead of what they do!

i started pretending to have confidence in what i say. for example in school? my current school friend and i started hanging out bc i went up to them and went “hey, just wondering if u read the readings yet?” (and then we snowballed there teehee they did actually read it so thats cool as we were able to have a discussion about the topic but even when they didnt, i just end up steering the conversation to something ik we both know—the lecture! it was what started our friendship, but we also began to talk about other things until we were sharing our interests with each other!)

work? same thing! i start with work related topics (i work at a firm so it usually is always our clients hehehe) and then i’d invite them for coffee or lunch! im blessed to have coworkers close to my age which makes it a lot easier to poke on interests. i asked her if she’s seen this video on tiktok (it was something about that love surge couple i think) and she did so we were also able to expand our conversation out of work!

the highlight is that i bullshitted my confidence until it eventually started feeling normal :’)

im sorry that this isnt a sound advice :((

of course its still so important to stay true to yourself and im not telling u to be fake and to not be urself! but faking confidence i think is different bc, for me, its grappling with the hurdle (my anxiety) and training myself until im eventually used to it! im still not 100% the one taking the first step but when i do, im glad that i did :’)

(now for relationships… yea that i got nothing 😭 im so sorry)

but um yea! im sorry for the rambling. it just made me realize how much more work i need to put into myself too!

take care my love and i wish you the best and kindest and loveliest ever!!!

-

(i just checked and i received ur other ask!! im sorry, im kinda swamped rn so my responses have been going down the drain dhejjd but i’ll reply to it too! thank u sm for ur kindness and love <333)

[gamesbyalbie]

The Cursed Journey

PART 7: SUMMIT

FOUR YEARS AGO

There was a time in my life where I thought nothing was worse than afterparties. Being forced to attend a party or ceremony was terrible enough, having to stay afterwards? It was like being given detention.

The night of the Hugo Awards might have been the worst of the worst, simply because I wanted nothing more than to go home and decompress while everyone else there wanted nothing more than to talk to me. I was moments away from doing something my PR team would regret when a bartender slid a tonic with lime in front of me.

"Compliments of the gentleman." They winked and pointed to the other end of the bar.

Min-joon was standing there, leaning against the glowing counter as casually as can be, his face and body awash in pink and blue light. He was wearing a sparkling black suit jacket, an open collared shirt made from sheer lace, and a stunning necklace that dripped down his neck and chest like a stream of frozen tears. It put my basic purple suit to shame. Min-joon wasn't even looking at me. He seemed fully engrossed in his phone, so I smirked and pulled out my own.

I messaged him: "thanks" and watched for him to receive it.

A tiny smile bloomed across his face. Without looking up, he responded: "You're welcome. Congrats by the way. I guess it's a little bit cool that you won"

"eh, its alright. im sure youll get it next time" I loosened my tie with one hand. "where do you think i should put it? coffee table?"

I heard him snort from across the bar. "What do you mean by coffee table? That stack of books between the fridge and the bed? Or are you referring to the windowsill?"

"its a secret, i'll finally show you next time"

"Looking forward to it." He looked up for a second, deliberately avoiding my direction. "Also, just so you know, there's at least three people behind you waiting to flirt with your handsome ass."

"who?"

He glanced up again, subtly. "Orange suit jacket, fishnet mask, and red (not pink) sequined dress." As soon as I finished reading that, another text came in. "Actually take that back, pink sequins just gave you the eyes too."

I laughed, half at him and half at myself. "i love how you can tell all that and i cant"

"No worries, mate. I've got your back. You need me to be your Cyrano, just let me know."

"i think i may need an anti-cyrano"

He bit his lip. "Perfect. I'll help you repel potential suitors while keeping an eye out for any stray admirers."

I quickly responded with "my hero" before my moment of reprieve was cut short.

"Mx. Specter?" I swiveled around in my seat. An elderly individual in a rusty orange suit was standing in front of me. I couldn't tell if they were Orange Suit Jacket. "Jacket" seemed like very intentional wording on Min-joon's behalf and this person was in a full on suit.

"Yes?"

"Ayodele Akande. Channel 6 News. I just wanted to congratulate you on your big win. Who Watches was the best book I've read in the last decade and Felix is one of my favorite characters."

"Thank you so much." 200 bucks says you never even read it.

''Mr. Akande. Ken had a ques—oh, sorry." I turned to see a beautiful individual in a red sequined dress. "I didn't realize you were talking with someone."

"It's fine, Gerry. I was just congratulating, Mx. Specter." He gave me a pat on the arm which I didn't appreciate. "But they have plenty more praise to receive. Where's Ken?" He walked off with the assistant.

As they left my personal bubble and I was permitted to turn back to the bar, my smile slid from my face like dust off a windshield. "i cant fucking do this"

"Hmm..." Three dots appeared then disappeared. I glanced up and Min-joon wasn't there anymore. My spirit sank.

Several more people approached me. I'm not sure how many exactly, but it felt like a damn stampede. Strangers just chattering about my book, asking inane questions and promoting themselves with little to no subtlety. If I hadn't shaved my head a few days before, I'd have pulled all my hair out right then and there.

My phone buzzed. "Oh, sorry," I mumbled. "Just need to check—"

Min-joon: "There's a dude coming for you."

"what the fuck?"

"Mx. Specter?" A server waved to me from a few feet away.

"Excuse me." I eagerly deserted my unpleasant company.

"Your coat and personal items are just back here." I followed the stranger into the kitchen where they handed me my stuff then down a winding corridor to a staff elevator. "Head to the garage floor. He said he'll be there for you."

"Who are you talking about?"

"I've been paid to forget that information."

Min-joon was waiting just outside the elevator in his little green car. "Get in, loser." He winked.

"Sorry, aren't you the loser?" I asked, dropping into the passenger seat and tossing the trophy in the back.

"Nah. You may have won the Hugo." Min-joon smirked. "But I already have the best prize." He reached out to hold my hand.

End of Part 7 of ? • LAST PART • NEXT PART

More Cursed Journey • More by Albie • Image Source

The amazing music video that inspired this:

[lubdubsworld]

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread.  Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me.  Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened.  I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something.  You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum.  I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery.  And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing  a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.  

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked.  “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me  and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my  shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?”  He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena ……  I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me  and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my  head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what?  He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.  

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?”  He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted.   I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off….  and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning  and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever.  Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But,  Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened.  Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door.  I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?”  she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry,  staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s  bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if  it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly.  His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.”  He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out.  Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock.  The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off.  I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?”  I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped,  gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.  

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled  and it was ridiculous.  

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.  

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

[anos-sensei]

Imagine hc.

Mammon snaps.

Parts: one two three four

I hope you enjoy this.

I've had this hc for a LONG time bubbling in my head twisting and crunching up all the little space storage It had left.

Love I'd APPRECIATED!

Warning: strong language, cursing, mild angst, mammon centric. No mc.

Mammon was tired to say the least, he was, in fact. Exhausted.

A few famillars of him had been catching anomalies up in the human worlds, people abusing of his blessings and his curses getting out of hand.

He had been working his ass off the past few weeks and today was FINALLY the day where he could sleep a bit.

Even though he was a demon, unlike Levi, who by simply raising the temperature of his room could stay awake months on end, or Lucifer who simply refused to sleep because of his fucked pride, he was semi normal. He needed sleep every once in a while.

And the witch that summoned him this morning didn't help, that BITCH pissed him off to no end.

How can they even expect him to act nice and docile, when they KNEW, he has been this busy.

Opening the door to his room he was expecting to find his ol' beautiful room. Goldie framed on his bedside table, his pretty pool table, his perfect bed, but instead, His room was completely empty.

He came home in the early afternoon, his head pounding from the incesant calls he had been having from both devildom and the human realms.

his familars had been going insane from the sudden rupture in balance.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't have the time to tell Lucifer before he had to go, it was an urgent matter and as much as he would've liked to delay it even he had some sense of importance.

His heart sank.

What the fuck happened? He was only away for what? Maybe three weeks?

Sighing mammon drops his bag on the floor, making his way to the dining room where he most likely would find the oldest, sipping a cup of coffee with probably a newspaper in hand.

Sniffing the air he could still smell the faint presence of his belongings... and the strong smell of Lucifer.

Hearing the noise the eldest looks up, his eyebrow rising at the sight of his younger brother.

Entering the hall, just like expected Lucifer was seated at the end of the table, his aura proud and relaxed.

To his surprise though, beelzebub, asmodeus, Leviathan and satan were there too, each doing their own thing.

Too tired to care though mammon walks in a straight line to Lucifer placing his hands on the table with a soft bang.

"Give me back my stuff." Mammon says dryly before lucifer could say a word.

And if it wasn't for his current mood, mammon would have laughed at the surprise in lucifer's face.

"Ugh mammon, it's not a big deal you had too much stuff either way." Asmo snaps quietly, going back to his phone.

Satan was watching with a slight smirk and asmo was already starting to feel annoyed at mammon's rude behavior.

"Yeah, you should be happy we didn't sell it, you still owe me about 80.000 grimm." Levi added absentmindly, focused on his game.

The growl that escaped mammon shut asmo and Levi up immediately, surprising Satan too. They had never seen mammon in such a palpable mood.

Mammon was still trying to keep his cool by supressing his aura, but it was getting harder by the minute.

"Shut it. I'm talking to Lucifer." Mammon whispers harshly, venom lacing the edges of his words. He side eyes asmo briefly, His eyes glowing a cold blue.

"Im not in the mood for you guy's worthless teasing and useless grudges." He stares coldly at his two younger siblings, for a moment asmo's blood runs cold, shievers running through his body, his own body feeling the urge to look down.

Turning his head back to Lucifer he repeats, letter for letter, his demand.

"Give me back my stuff."

Lucifer's eye twitches at mammon's sour mood and disrespectful tone.

"You think you can act like this without consequences?"

Mammon straightens back up, pinching the bridge of his nose, a clear sign that he was reaching his last straw... If he wasn't already biting through that straw.

Swiftly Levi swats asmo's phone down, getting the fifth born's attention.

"Ya seriously think I give a shit about the consequences of shit right now? I just want to take a fuckin' shower and pass out on my bed. Don't push it, luci." The anger in his tone and voice is clear, catching levi off guard. He pauses his game, pocketing his console.

To someone who had never heard it, it sounded like he was just annoyed, none of the brothers besides Levi had ever heard or experienced mammon's anger.

"We have to leave" Levi whispers and signals it to Satan who was absolutely confused, but he trusted his brother's judgment.

"This isn't going to end well" he mouths, and Satan nods, his curiosity peeking but his concerns for beel were greater. He nudged beel getting the giant's attention.

"We've got to leave." Satan whispers and beel looks up, confusion on his face when he sees mammon.

"Mammon! You're back!" Beel exclaims excitedly, his puppy like eyes looking up to his big brother who's cold glowing eyes direct to him.

"go sleep, beel." Mammon says, lacing his words with source magic source. With that single phrase beel's body started swaying, eyelids drooping before closing.

his massive body gently swaying to the side softly lying over another chair.

"You three, leave. Now. Take beel with you." Lucifer orders and the three of them can only obey, Levi transforming swiftly and taking beel with his tail. Ushering the two others outside.

Mammon had //never// used magic, let alone source magic on any of his brothers, especially not beel.

Satan's eyes widen when he finally realises the gravity of the situation, he uncounsciously takes a step back when momentarily a crushing suffocating magic permeates the air before immediately disappearing again.

Lucifer inhales sharply, keeping his surprise down at mammon's anger. For mammon to let his aura slip...? Sighing he places his coffee cup down.

"Mammon, try to calm down.." Levi whispers and quickly runs out when a fizzle of electricity sparks besides his head.

Levi hisses, shutting the door behind him.

"What just happened...?" Asmo asks, having seen the spark next to levi's head too.

"We're in for some violence... If you could even call that violence... I haven't seen mammon this angry since... " Levi sighs remembering the last time he had seen mammon this angry.

During their fall, when one of the angels had injured belphie who was reaching his limit, the angel had mocked them and mammon went feral. He went on a rampage killing hundreds of angels in the few minutes that followed.

And while his attention was turned away lilith got shot, which pushed mammon over the edge, forcing him to use source magic. Mammon's transformation as a demon had started then, horns already pushing through his skull, blood running over his face from ruptures formed by it.

Just thinking about that time send chills up leviathan's spine. He never wanted to see his brother like that again.

"Since?" Satan asks, having zero recollections of mammon being angry at all. Irritated, yes, crying, yes, annoyed, yes. But never angry he would always brush off things like these and beg for forgiveness.

Levi gives Satan a side eye, glancing at asmo who seems to get it. Asmo hadn't witnessed mammon in his full glory, but he had heard of it. After all rumors travel fast. The one who had corrupted destroyed and annihilated entire countries and civilisations, consumed by greed, his blessing enriching some countries and sinking others in the depths of poverty.

Asmo sighs and pushes Levi and Satan up to the attic.

"It's not important, let's go put beel to bed and try to get belphie to cast a resting spell on the dining room... If it not too late... At least."

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this.