#im just going to pretend my grades dont exist ok? everyone ok with that?

[13lizardsinatrenchcoat]

Panels from This is not Fine by KC Green that capture what it feels like to return to life after an episode and wonder how the hell I'm going to clean up the mess I've made.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

from an anon, about parents and school

(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)

here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.

i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).

i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?

its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.

they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.

ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.

short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."

just kidding XD

If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.

Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD

I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?

Nope.

I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?

Woo, boy.

This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.

Hello?

You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???

(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)

Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.

The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.

You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.

I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.

But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD

Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".

The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.

And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).

Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

[sarasfm]

Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ?  I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro​

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic:  when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted !  was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see ! 

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy. 

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu 

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man 

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday 

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit 

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff 

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y 

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there 

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything 

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok  

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! —  or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that.  so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”   

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu 

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[liketolaugh-writes]

[Context: Sebastian is a LetsPlayer in modern times. He is still a demon and the events of Kuroshitsuji happened over a hundred years ago as appropriate. He does not currently have a master, having finished with his last some five to ten years ago. Because he enjoys human pastimes on occasion, he decided to amuse himself with this for a while. It’s set in the Marvel universe, insofar as metas are known to exist and he is known as a lightly closeted one. He is currently playing Undertale, and because of who he is as a person, has accidentally stumbled onto the Genocide route on his first playthrough.]

The character avatar walks down the purple hallway. In the top-left corner, Sebastian’s brows are furrowed. He looks unsettled, but is attempting to appear merely bored.

Sebastian: This is quite an unusual take on an RPG game, I’ll admit. I’ve never encountered one that attempted to make me feel guilty for progressing before. Toriel’s last words in particular were… well. I expect this is going to be quite an interesting letsplay.

The avatar reaches the hallway exit and goes through. On the other side, Flowey is sitting in a spotlight.

Sebastian: Oh, it’s you again. Now, you, I would not feel bad for killing at all.

Flowey: Hahaha… You’re not really human, are you?

Sebastian’s eyebrows lift as he reads the dialogue. For a moment, he looks amused.

Flowey: No. You’re empty inside. Just like me. In fact… You’re Ciel, right? We’re still inseparable, after all these years…

Sebastian’s brows furrow, and he pauses in reading the dialogue.

Sebastian: That’s an interesting plot twist, this early in the game. I thought I’d just fallen down. Perhaps I have escaped the Underground before? But then, why is it that I fell in again? To take revenge?

Flowey: Listen. I have a plan to become all powerful. Even more powerful than you and your stolen soul.

Sebastian scowls, but does not remark on the dialogue.

Flowey: Let’s destroy everything in this wretched world. Everyone, everything in these worthless memories. Let’s turn ‘em all to dust.

Flowey [computer-generated voice]: That’s a wonderful idea!

Flowey disappears into the ground, and Sebastian continues to frown at the screen. His scowl has eased.

Sebastian: That was… odd. This game is obviously not what it first appears. Is that my goal, then? To conquer the Underground? It seems frivolous and unnecessary, but it’s quite the take on the traditional RPG mechanic of slaughtering everything you come across.

The avatar begins to move forward again and soon encounters the door out.

The screen fades to black and then displays the title screen, UNDERTALE. It then switches to By Toby Fox, and then to black. Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: As I said, quite an interesting game. I’m looking forward to continuing it. I expect it has some interesting lessons to teach, and perhaps some remarks on human nature as well. It’s a surprising contrast with the rather cute aesthetic.

Sebastian chuckles, and as the screen reforms on a snowy forest, the avatar begins walking right, and then pauses and interacts with the bush nearby.

[…!? There’s a camera hidden in the bushes.]

Sebastian: …Interesting.

The avatar continues right. The avatar passes a branch, and a handful of steps after the avatar passes, it breaks unexpectedly. Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: The music is appropriately ominous for such a setting. I do hope I have an encounter worthy of it soon.

The avatar starts to cross a bridge, and then stops on the left edge. A shadow begins to approach from where the avatar came from.

Sebastian: Speak of the devil.

Sebastian chooses a creaky, deep voice for the new character.

?: H u m a n.

The avatar turns around. The shadow sticks out its hand, and the avatar takes it. The shadow is suddenly lit, revealing itself to be a grinning skeleton in a blue hoodie, and a fart sound plays. Sebastian snorts, visibly surprised.

Sebastian: Well, that was rather anticlimactic.

?: heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it’s ALWAYS funny.

Despite the change of font, Sebastian sticks with the original voice, raising one eyebrow and smiling in obvious amusement.

?: …that’s, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all…?

Sebastian chuckles again.

Sebastian: They really are pushing the inhumanity of this character, aren’t they? They ought to be careful not to go heavy-handed, but it’s amusing as it is, and somewhat unsettling as intended.

?: …(gee, lady, you really know how to pick ‘em, huh…?) OK, that’s fine. everyone’s got their own sense of humor. i’m sans. sans the skeleton. im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… you know… i dont really care about capturing anybody.

Sebastian grins.

Sebastian: Perhaps you should, Mr. Skeleton. It looks like letting this one go will be bad for your health.

Sans: now my brother, papyrus… he’s a human-hunting FANATIC.

Sebastian: Ah, so is that the interesting battle I’m promised? Or- no. No, given the nature of the last boss, I don’t suppose any of these bosses are going to be truly terrible people. Hm. Does that mean I won’t be able to dispose of Flowey?

Sans: hey, actually, I think that’s him over there.

Sebastian: Another boss battle already? That seems unlikely, so I suppose this Sans character is going to help me as well.

Sans: i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.

Sebastian chuckles, head dipping as he smirks. The avatar and Sans rush right, quickly arriving at a small area containing a lamp shaped precisely like the profile view of the avatar, two rocks, and a shop stand.

Sans: quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.

The avatar does not move. Sebastian raises his eyebrows.

Sans: …uh, okay, i guess you don’t have to.

Sebastian [softly]: …Strange.

From the right, a tall skeleton in red zooms in, stopping in front of Sans and the avatar. Sebastian chooses a high, crackly voice for this character.

Papyrus: SANS!!! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!??!

Sans: yeah

Sebastian: From any other game I would expect betrayal, but…

Papyrus: REALLY!?!? WOWIE!!!

Sebastian: Goodness, two lines and I already cannot wait for this character to be gone.

Papyrus: GUESS THAT’S SETTLED!!

The skeleton leaves out the right side. Sebastian snorts.

Sebastian: My wish has been granted.

Sans: that worked out, huh?

The avatar wanders around the screen and interacts with the lamp.

[Just a conveniently-shaped lamp.]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: I’ll admit, this game is quite funny when it isn’t resorting to bodily humor.

The avatar moves to the stand and interacts.

[It’s some sort of checkpoint or sentry-station. But there are bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish sitting inside…]

Sebastian: I hope they don’t belong to the skeletons. I imagine that would be quite messy, and what a waste.

The avatar begins to move right but is stopped at the exit.

Sans: well, i’ll be straight-forward with you. my brother’d really like to see a human… so, y’know, it’d really help me out… if you kept pretending to be one.

Sebastian pauses, staring at the screen with an unreadable expression as Sans exits left.

Sebastian: Again with this, hm…? If not a human, then I wonder what I’m meant to be.

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Perhaps a demon? Well, I suppose I’ll find out in time. …If I find out that the playable character is a metahuman, however, I’m going to be deeply disappointed in not only the game’s creator, but also every person who recommended this game to me. That would be an utterly pathetic plot twist.

The avatar exits right, and the approaches the nearby sparkling save point.

[16 Left]

Sebastian: Quite handy. But why is the text red…?

The avatar explores the area for a while, and then encounters a monster. The monster is identified as Snowdrake.

[Snowdrake flutters forth!]

Sebastian: Though I may come to regret it, given the odd ‘but nobody came’ encounters, I believe I’ll handle all of these now. I’ll clip in the images and dialogue of each new monster, however – for your amusement, yes?

The screen skips through several images without remark and resettles on the same stretch of path.

Sebastian: That didn’t take too long, did it?

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Now we can progress the story without interference. I could do without the skeleton characters, myself, but they’re a necessary evil. Never mind- they’ll be gone soon enough.

Sebastian laughs, and the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: I did explore the top path, but there was nothing of interest. Ah, here we are.

Papyrus: SO SANS! WHEN’S THE HUMAN SHOWING UP???

Sebastian: Mr. Papyrus’ enthusiasm is amusing, but I’ve known enough people like him to be quite glad that his dialogue is text-only. Goodness knows how loud it would be.

Papyrus: I WANT TO LOOK MY SUNDAY BEST… OR AT LEAST MY TUESDAY PRETTY-GOOD.

Sebastian laughs again and shakes his head slightly.

Sebastian: A game with a sense of humor more sophisticated than a grade schooler, what a rarity.

Sans: don’t you only have one outfit?

Papyrus: YEAH, BUT I COULD STYLE MY HAIR!

Sebastian covers his mouth with the back of his hand. He is grinning, and his eyes glitter with amusement.

Sans: oh. right. good idea. say, why don’t you look over there?

Papyrus looks at the avatar. An exclamation mark appears briefly over his head. He turns back at Sans, who turns to the human, and then back to the human, while Sans looks back at Papyrus. This process repeats itself several times, rapidly speeding up, and Sebastian lowers his hand to smile in open amusement. Eventually, both skeletons stop, and then turn right.

Papyrus: SANS!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

Sebastian: That is entirely too many exclamation points, and I can picture the volume perfectly.

Papyrus: I’M DIZZY. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

Sebastian snorts, apparently caught by surprise.

Sans: behold.

Sans turns to his brother. The screen pans left to center on the avatar and reveal a rock.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

The screen shunts right again as Papyrus turns back to Sans.

Papyrus: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LOOK AT A ROCK.

Sebastian closes his eyes and covers his mouth with a gloved hand. A muffled snort escapes anyway and the corners of his eyes are crinkled. After a second, he removes his hand and shakes his head.

Sebastian: This game is entirely too much.

Sans turns back to the avatar.

Sans: hey, what’s that in front of the rock?

An exclamation mark appears above Papyrus’ head.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

Sebastian takes a deep breath.

Papyrus: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.

Sebastian lets it out in a huff, closes his eyes, and tilts his head back briefly. After two seconds, he opens them again, and then continues without comment.

Sans: well. it’s not a rock.

Sebastian: A pair of geniuses, these two.

Papyrus: NOT A ROCK…? OH NO!!! BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION!!! THAT MEANS IT’S A HUMAN!!!

Sebastian closes his eyes again, presses his palm to a forehead, and for a moment, laughs helplessly, quiet and breathy.

Sebastian: What an imbecile.

Sebastian opens his eyes and continues on, shaking his head.

Papyrus: AHEM!! HUMAN!! PREPARE YOURSELF!! FOR HIGH JINKS! FOR LOW JINKS! DANGERS! PUZZLES! CAPERS! JAPERS! BEING CAPTURED!! AND OTHER SORTS OF FUN ACTIVITIES.

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: If I have any say in the matter, I will not be participating in a single one of those things, Mr. Skeleton. Particularly not with someone as obviously loud as yourself – my ears hurt and you’re not even speaking aloud.

Papyrus: REFRESHMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED… IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian wrinkles his nose as Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Is that his laugh? How awful. I shall give him as little cause to do that as possible.

Sans turns to the avatar.

Sans: …and you don’t even bat an eye, huh?

Sans exits right.

Sebastian: Well, I wouldn’t want to give that moron any form of encouragement. That’s your job, is it not? Really, this Sans character is… quite suspicious, I’d say. Though not as suspicious as the playable character, naturally… Given that they seem to be on a warpath. Now, let’s see-

The avatar moves right and interacts with the stand nearby.

[There’s some narration on this cardboard box.]

[YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!]

Sebastian rolls his eyes again and sighs, muttering something inaudible before speaking.

Sebastian: Goodness, he does get into everything, doesn’t he? And self-congratulatory, too. I’d bet anything he isn’t a royal guardsman at all.

[(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)]

Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: Ridding the Underground of this idiot will be a service.

The avatar moves right. An encounter appears.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Ah yes, there it is. Very ominous… the first few times, at least.

The avatar continues right and crosses into the path of another station, this one sporting a bell. When the avatar reaches it, a dog emerges from behind the counter.

?: D-did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. …hey! I can’t stop shivering all of a sudden. …Who’s there!?

An encounter overtakes the screen.

[Doggo blocks the way!]

Sebastian: Why would you announce your biggest weakness to the world immediately before initiating a fight? Really, now… I’ll take many things at face value in a PC game, but some of these habits are simply absurd.

Sebastian continues to mutter as the fight progresses, looking bored. Doggo is easily defeated, and the avatar moves on, exiting right.

Sebastian: I might have been more sympathetic if it had been a cat. Of course, a cat likely wouldn’t have announced its only weakness so easily, hm?

The avatar continues to travel.

[but nobody came.]

[but nobody came.]

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Yes, yes, I understand, everyone is dead. I am aware of that. I actually made that happen. It doesn’t appear to have decreased the amount of trouble I go to just to move, unfortunately.

The avatar reaches an intersection, pauses briefly, and exits top. A snowman appears onscreen and the avatar approaches and interacts with it.

?: Hello. I am a snowman. I cannot move. Traveller, if you could…

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

Sebastian: Well, that was simple foolishness.

Sebastian checks the Snowman Piece in his inventory.

[“Snowman Piece” – Heals 45 HP. Please take this to the ends of the earth.]

Sebastian smirks with too many teeth.

Sebastian: 45 HP, hm? I think I’d like more of that, if at all possible.

The avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Oh me, oh my. What are you doing? Soon there won’t be any of me left…

Sebastian: I’m taking your flesh for sustenance, isn’t it obvious?

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

The Snowman shrinks dramatically. Sebastian smirks, and the avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Stop… Please…

The Snowman collapses into a small puddle of snow. Sebastian chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

Sebastian: Well, what did you expect, giving pieces of yourself to a stranger? Quite foolish, as I said. You should never give of yourself, really – even those you trust can easily turn their backs on you.

The avatar interacts with the pile of snow again.

[A useless pile of snow.]

Sebastian: Only three, then. Well, that’s quite enough to be getting on with. I won’t need that many, with a small amount of luck and a fair bit of skill. And I like to think I have both in spades, don’t you?

The avatar exits bottom, and heads toward the right exit. An encounter spawns.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian pauses, frowning.

Sebastian: …An interesting choice of mechanic.

Sebastian ends the encounter and the avatar exits right. Sans and Papyrus are waiting by a bridge on the other side.

Papyrus: YOU’RE SO LAZY!! YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!!

Sans: i think that’s called… sleeping.

Sebastian: Regretfully, I’m actually on Mr. Papyrus’ side on this one.

Papyrus: EXCUSES, EXCUSES!

Sans and Papyrus turn to look at the avatar.

Papyrus: OH- HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Well, at least they bothered to come up with an in-universe reason for gratuitous puzzle-solving, I suppose. Once again, that’s better than most games do.

Papyrus: I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!!!

The avatar starts to walk across the patch of bare ground, and Sebastian blinks, and then frowns, and then laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

Sebastian: I think I could get along with this character.

Papyrus: FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS… THE, INVISIBLE… UHHHHHHH…?

Sebastian: Yes, Mr. Skeleton, not everyone is willing to play along with your foolish and pointless antics. I see this character’s attitude is going to save me quite a bit of time.

Sebastian actually looks slightly put-out by the notion.

Papyrus: HMMM… YOU MUST BE HAVING CULTURE SHOCK. YOU SEE, WHERE I COME FROM, IT’S A LOVING TRADITION. TO SUFFER THROUGH HORRIBLE PUZZLES FOR NO REASON.

Sebastian sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: This feels oddly familiar, for some reason… Though of course, as the playable character is the one visiting here, they are indeed being rather rude. It saves me time, but not that much time, I suspect.

The avatar continues to approach the skeletons.

Papyrus: SO, UH, JUST WALK BACK THERE, AND…

The avatar does not move. Both skeletons turn south.

Papyrus: SIGH… WHY COULDN’T WE GET A HUMAN THAT LIKES PUZZLES???

Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: My amusement at the character’s attitude aside, I would have preferred to be allowed to play the puzzles as I wished. They are a fundamental part of this sort of game, after all.

The avatar moves towards Sans and interacts.

Sans: it would make my brother happy if you played along.

Sebastian: Surprisingly, that is not my primary concern.

The avatar exits right, crosses the bridge on the other side, and passes by several trees and a snowball.

Sebastian: I’ve said it a few times already, but I’m continually fascinated by many of the stylistic choices this game makes. They all seem to be geared in a certain direction, but I’m not sure I understand what they’re trying to say as yet. I assume I will later.

The avatar exits top right, walks past both doghouses, and then returns left. Sebastian grimaces.

Sebastian: Dogs.

Eventually, the avatar exits bottom-right and emerges with the two skeletons again, and a piece of paper on the ground to their left.

Papyrus: HUMAN!!! I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR… SANS!! WHERE’S THE PUZZLE!!!

Sebastian: At this stage, what on earth makes him think I would complete a puzzle?

Sans: it’s right there. on the ground.

Sebastian: Somehow, I’m not surprised in the least.

Sans: trust me. there’s no way they’ll skip this one.

The avatar walks past the piece of paper. Sebastian looks pained.

Papyrus: SANS!!! THAT DID NOTHING!!!

Sans: whoops. knew i should have put down junior jumble instead.

Sebastian: Oh yes, I certainly would have been far more interested in that, rather than- whatever it is that’s on the ground there.

Papyrus: WHAT?!? JUNIOR JUMBLE!? FINALLY, SOMETHING WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON.

Papyrus exits right. The avatar moves to interact with Sans.

Sans: guess you don’t like word searches, huh? me neither. i’m more of a funny pages kinda guy.

Sebastian: Of course you are. They share your high-brow sense of humor, Mr. Skeleton.

The avatar exits right, finding a piece of paper, a table with spaghetti on top, and a microwave. The top wall has a small mouse hole. Sebastian smirks and the avatar goes to interact with the piece of paper.

[It’s a note from Papyrus…]

[HUMAN!! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!!! YOU’LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT… THAT YOU WON’T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN’T PROGRESSING!! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS)]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: Not much of an antagonist… or a human-hunter. And that laugh is still awful.

The avatar interacts with the save point, the spaghetti, and the microwave.

[10 left.]

[(It’s a plate of frozen spaghetti. It’s so cold, it’s stuck to the table…)]

[(It’s an unplugged microwave. All of the settings say “spaghetti.”)]

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Idiot.

The avatar continues on until it reaches two dogs, which come up from the south exit.

?: What’s that smell? (Where’s that smell?) If you’re a smell… (…Identify yoursmellf!)

The two dogs wander the screen around the avatar for a few seconds before converging on it.

?: Hmmm… Here’s that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate… (…Eliminate YOU!)

An encounter triggers.

Sebastian: God, when will I escape the dogs?

[Dogi assault you!]

Sebastian: The story of my life.

Sebastian swiftly kills Dogaressa, and then the depressed Dogamy.

Sebastian: When will I be free from the dogs…

The avatar continues to make progress, and passes by what appears to be a completed puzzle. Sebastian looks put-out again.

Sebastian: I actually would like to complete a puzzle at some point, please!

The avatar exits right, finding a grayscale board with Papyrus and Sans on the right side, standing by a machine.

Papyrus: HEY! IT’S THE HUMAN! YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!

The avatar starts to cross the board, and Sebastian sighs, a look of resignation on his face as the avatar stops halfway across.

Sebastian: This is getting rather annoying.

Papyrus: IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT… ARE YOU SERIOUS? SANS!!! HELP!!!

A flicker of a smile crosses Sebastian’s face. He does not explain this.

Papyrus: THEY KEEP WALKING THROUGH MY PUZZLES! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME EXPLAIN THEM. THEN THREATEN AND BAFFLE THEM WITH DANGEROUS JAPES.

Sebastian looks exasperatedly amused.

Sebastian: This character could not be less threatening if he wasn’t a skeleton. He can do as he likes, of course, but…

Sans: well, maybe they don’t like japes.

Papyrus: EVERYONE LIKES JAPES!!!

Sans: what about undyne? doesn’t she hate puzzles?

Papyrus: SHE HATES PUZZLES. BUT SHE LOVES JAPES.

Sebastian: The distinction is vital, of course- though I couldn’t tell you what it is.

Sans: that makes sense.

Papyrus: HUMAN!! WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PUZZLES OR JAPES? … … OKAY, THIS IS NORMALLY THE PART. WHERE YOU EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE. AND DEPENDING ON YOUR ANSWER. WE SAY SOMETHING GREAT IN RESPONSE. …HERE, WHY DON’T YOU DO THIS PUZZLE YOURSELF.

Papyrus leaves a piece of paper on the ground and slowly exits right.

Sebastian: Well, he is attempting to be helpful. He would be meeting with more success, however, if he was remotely capable of comprehending the problem at hand. Perhaps being a skeleton is suppressing his self-preservation instincts?

The avatar ignores the paper and interacts with Sans.

Sans: hey… puzzles might be fun. if you tried them.

Sebastian looks irritated.

Sebastian: Yes, I actually happen to agree with that. If I was permitted to try them.

The avatar exits right, passes the dog house, and saves.

[6 left.]

Sebastian: Mini-bosses, I assume.

The avatar exits right again and encounters another puzzle, which Sebastian solves on the first try. He still smiles slightly as the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: Well, at least that wasn’t a complete waste.

The avatar exits bottom and finds Sans.

Sans: what’s up?

Sebastian: What, nothing else?

The avatar goes left and finds Sans on the other side unreasonably quickly. Sebastian smirks slightly and the avatar interacts with Sans.

Sans: say… are you following me?

Sebastian: Clearly, I have nothing better to do.

The avatar exits left, wanders around, and an encounter triggers. It is skipped without comment, and the avatar exits top again, and then right.

Sebastian: Quite a bit of fairly pointless wandering. Am I missing something, I wonder? Though that may be an engineered feeling.

The avatar continues on and finally encounters a number of small piles of snow, ending in a large, excitable armored dog which emerges from another. Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose again.

[It’s the Greater Dog.]

Sebastian: My worst nightmare.

Sebastian defeats this foe easily.

Sebastian: There isn’t much challenge to this game, is there? Is that, too, deliberate?

Sebastian smirks.

Sebastian: Then again, I may simply be uncommonly good at it.

The avatar continues on, eventually coming to one end of a bridge. On the other, Papyrus and Sans waited.

Papyrus: HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE!

Sebastian: I haven’t been given any challenges yet.

Papyrus: BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!

Six different weapons emerge from various parts of the screen, in between the avatar and the skeletons. Sebastian raises his eyebrows and smirks.

Sebastian: Why, Mr. Skeleton, I never would have attributed such viciousness to your character!

Papyrus: WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN!!!

Sebastian looks unimpressed.

Papyrus: ARE YOU READY!? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!

A pause. Papyrus turns away. Sebastian looks irritated.

Sans: well? what’s the holdup?

Papyrus: HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I’M… I’M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!

Pause.

Sebastian: Oh, for goodness’ sake.

Sans: that, uh, doesn’t look very activated.

Papyrus: WELL! …THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO WALK THROUGH IT. AND IT WON’T BE ANY FUN AT ALL.

Sebastian: You know, I’m not surprised in the least. And, of course, he doesn’t at all realize that once he activates it, ‘just walking through it’ is actually the entire point…

Sans: hmmm… so this human thing was a bust, huh?

Papyrus: WELL. I MEAN. I’M EXCITED TO CAPTURE THEM. SO I’LL BECOME A FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!!!

Sebastian: You may try, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES… IT’S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY…

Sans: without traps and fire?

Papyrus: EXACTLY!! IT’S POINTLESS!!!

Sebastian: Goodness. I am violently reminded of far too many people.

Papyrus: MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ABOUT PUZZLES.

Sans: me? right about something? really?

Papyrus: …YEAH!! WHAT AM I SAYING! YOU’RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! I JUST HAVE THE WRONG AUDIENCE! THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN UNDYNE WOULD HAVE HERE! FLAMES, VIOLENCE, IT’S RIGHT UP HER ALLEY!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Far too many people.

Papyrus: SO I WON’T WASTE THIS PUZZLE ON YOU. I JUST HAVE TO APPRECIATE… THE FRIEND I ALREADY HAVE!!!

Sebastian: And perhaps your brother, supporting you every step of the way. But that’s none of my business, of course.

The weapons withdraw and Papyrus turns away.

Papyrus: PHEW! A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian scowls as he reads the laugh, but does not drop the in-character voice. Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Another waste of time, I see.

The avatar exits right, passing Sans this time. Soon it comes to a town, which is mostly quiet. The avatar enters a building, and what appears to be a shopping screen pops up.

[But nobody came.]

Sebastian: That flavor text is going to haunt me in my rare attempts to sleep.

Sebastian selects ‘read’ first.

[(There’s a note here.) Please don’t hurt my family.]

Sebastian: This isn’t a game, this is a lecture on why it doesn’t actually pay to murder people who annoy you.

Sebastian then selects ‘steal.’

[You took 758G from behind the counter.]

Sebastian: And plenty of good that does me if I have no need to buy anything because the shopkeeper has apparently run away.

Sebastian selects ‘take’ and takes one of each item. Then he closes the shopping screen and the avatar continues to explore the area. It is abandoned. The avatar interacts with the sparkling save point.

[Determination.]

The avatar wanders right and finds a monster. Sebastian raises one eyebrow and the avatar interacts with it. He chooses a squeaky voice for the character.

?: Yo, everyone ran away and hid somewhere. Man, adults can be so dumb sometimes, haha… Don’t they know we’ve got Undyne to protect us!?

Sebastian [deadpan]: A tiny moron.

The avatar continues right, but every building it enters is abandoned. Sebastian frowns.

Sebastian: Then why bother to develop the town so thoroughly at all…?

Finally, the avatar exits right into a misty area. It continues right until it is obscured, and then stops and appears as a shadow. A moment later, a shadow Papyrus appears as well. Sebastian sighs, frowning.

Sebastian: Ah. From the looks of the scenery, I’d say it’s time.

Papyrus: HALT, HUMAN!

The avatar steps forward.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING WHILE I’M TALKING TO YOU!

Sebastian smirks faintly.

Sebastian: I suppose it is rather rude. But it won’t matter soon, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY. FIRST: YOU’RE A FREAKING WEIRDO!

Sebastian snorts.

Papyrus: NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT LIKE PUZZLES. BUT THE WAY YOU SHAMBLE ABOUT FROM PLACE TO PLACE… THE WAY YOUR HANDS ARE ALWAYS COVERED IN DUSTY POWDER. IT FEELS… LIKE YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH.

Sebastian’s expression falls into something unreadable.

Papyrus: HOWEVER! I, PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY!

Sebastian stops, and remains silent and motionless for five seconds.

Papyrus: AND ME, I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

Sebastian does not react to either of these statements and reads them somewhat mechanically, though still in his chosen voice. The avatar steps forward again.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW! BUT WORRY NOT! I, PAPYRUS… WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!!!

The avatar continues to walk forward. Sebastian’s voice has regained his energy, but he is still expressionless.

Papyrus: I SEE YOU ARE APPROACHING. ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?

Sebastian [softly]: Fool.

Papyrus: WOWIE!! MY LESSONS ARE ALREADY WORKING!! I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!

An encounter triggers and Sebastian flinches, and then scowls.

[Papyrus is sparing you.]

Sebastian: He really is precisely that kind of idiot, isn’t he? Goodness.

Sebastian scowls for a moment longer, and then kills Papyrus in silence.

Papyrus: W-WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED… BUT… ST… STILL!

Sebastian cuts himself off. His eyes go wide and begin to glow bright crimson, and his canines lengthen into fangs. Three seconds pass, and then the glow fades from his eyes, his fangs shrink away, and he relaxes. He looks melancholy. Two more seconds pass, and he reads the dialogue in a quiet and unadorned voice.

Papyrus: I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO! I… I PROMISE…

Three seconds of silence pass.

Sebastian: Well. If I had known he was that sort of character, I might have paid more mind to him earlier on. All the same… it is too late now, I suppose.

Two more seconds of silence pass, and then the avatar begins to walk again.

[clefairytails]

lesbian tag game

thx for sending me this @redcladsheikah <3 all my lesbian friends should do this too, if you want uwu i’m too lazy to tag like 50 ppl hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @lebians @tiedyked @talaxian @lesbian-mcelroy @ireallylikecameras 

1: did you ever think you were straight?

not really, i knew i liked girls even as a child. but i did go through multiple periods of trying to convince myself i was straight, needless to say it didn’t work out lol.

2: what’s your favorite element of gay culture?

our sense of humor! it’s amazing that we’re all so funny despite putting up with so much bullshit.

3: are you femme, butch, or neither?

femme! i’ve been looking into femme history lately, bcs the idea that femme is just an aesthetic is a misconception c:

4: do you prefer to date femmes or butches?

tbh every time i declare i have a type i immediately fall for someone that’s the complete opposite of that, so i have no idea. lately i’ve been wanting a goth gf, but i just developed a crush on a prep soooo i’m terrible at self-reflection. this bitch don’t know what she want.

5: what’s the worst part about being a lesbian?

the feeling that there’s a part of you that needs to be fixed, but you can’t do anything about it. it’s like seeing a picture on the wall that’s crooked, but it’s stuck like that and you can’t ever straighten it. or having a hair out of place that keeps sticking up no matter how much you try to gel it down.

6: what’s the best part of being a lesbian?

is women too obvious of an answer? girls are angels and i’d die for all of them

7: how long were you questioning for?

pretty much never, i guess. i had crushes on girls since kindergarten, then in 2nd grade i was told girls could only like boys, so i tried my best to be straight even though in my heart i knew i wasn’t. since i couldn’t make myself like boys, i kinda just ignored the idea of liking anyone at all until middle school, when i found out what the word “lesbian” means online. of course, all the stuff i found about lesbians called us disgusting perverts, so i went through many phases of calling myself literally anything else but a lesbian. i’ve only started using the word lesbian specifically in the last few years, especially since i joined an amazing discord group. i love them so much, they’ve helped me feel so proud of being a lesbian <3

8: what’s the most annoying thing straight people do?

exist. 

jk lmao, i’m honestly not annoyed by straight people, but i like making jokes as if i am. it’s hard to annoy me in general, i’ve got a high tolerance for that type of stuff. if i have to answer, i hate it when strangers (usually straight men) pry into my sex life, but i’m not really annoyed by that as much as i am creeped out.

9: what do you look for in a girl?

vampirism is my only requirement.

10: if you had to marry someone you know right now, who would you choose?

@lebians bcs i feel they’d be the most able to put up with my bullshit. everyone else would kill me on sight. if only @ireallylikecameras was still single, then when we got married we could put together our 50% employee discounts at BK and get infinite food for free, ending world hunger. i think that’s how it works, but also im gay and therefore bad at math.

11: do you have a crush right now?

does being in love count as a crush? if so, then i have three.

12: do you fall in love easily?

i crush easily, and i say i’m in love easily bcs i’m a leo (meaning i need to exaggerate to live), but actually feeling love? only once.

13: is there anyone in your life right now you think you’ll date in the future?

fingers crossed.

14: is there anyone you want to be kissing right now?

at the moment i’m feeling very touch repulsed, so no. but i also go through periods of feeling touch starved, and during those times i’d kiss pretty much anyone lmao.

15: do you think you’ve met your future wife yet?

i don’t know if i want to be married. i hate making commitments.

16: top, bottom, or vers?

i suspect i’m a bottom, but i’m also a virgin with no self awareness about what she wants or likes, so who really knows.

17: is there anyone you wish you could fuck right now?

still feeling touch repulsed, so no. also i have issues with actual real life sex. i always think i want to have sex, but when the situation becomes real, i feel disgusted by it and chicken out. i have no idea if this is some sort of asexuality or internalized lesbophobia. i should probably go to therapy lol.

18: rough or gentle?

rough, in theory. like i said, virgin who doesn’t know what she likes. but as a general rule, i don’t like slowness.

19: how many stereotypes do you fit into?

i’m fat, hairy, make lots of jokes about hating men (at least online, not in real life bcs i dont wanna get stabbed), i sometimes look like a guy,

20: what version of the lesbian flag do you like most? (butch, lipstick, original, etc.)

i like the femme one! i have it as my banner, it’s the lipstick lesbian flag without the lip print. the original flag was so fucking good, too bad it got taken by the terfs. the labrys is such a powerful image, and purple is a good color. also i saw a moon lesbian flag going around, that one is so good.

21: do you have a good gaydar?

hhhh i’d like to pretend i do but tbh i’m not very observant and straight up bad at reading people.

22: be honest, would you rather be straight?

yes and no. i’d rather have been born straight, because it would’ve saved me so much pain, but it’s a few years too late for that lol. if there was a magic pill that could make me straight today, i wouldn’t take it. i’ve been through so much as a lesbian, it means something to me now and i wouldn’t trade that for anything.

23: are you cis?

yep.

24: are you a sugar mommy or a sugar baby at heart?

hardcore sugar baby. my dream job is being an older woman’s trophy wife.

25: are you committed to someone at all right now emotionally?

hhhhhhhhhh unfortunately. i don’t want to be.

26: are you looking for a serious relationship currently?

yes, but i shouldn’t be. i don’t think i’m ready to be in one.

27: is there someone you’d like to be in a serious relationship in?

yes, but she’s straight and already married lmao. whoops.

28: do you want children?

no, i’m too selfish and irresponsible.

29: is your family accepting of your sexuality?

my mom and dad are, though they don’t take it very seriously. pretty sure they expect me to grow out of it one day. can’t blame them tho, i’m waiting for the same thing lmao. my extended family is huge, and their opinions range from being extremely homophobic to being gay themselves, but i’m interacting with them less and less as i get older.

30: how confident are you in your sexuality?

very confident, though i don’t want to be. i’m still secretly hoping one day i’ll see a guy i’m attracted to and he’ll fix me, but being realistic, i’m a huge fucking lesbian. women are enchanting.

31: are you polyamorous or monogamous?

monogamous. my insecure ass could not be poly hhhhhh.

32: what advice do you have for your 12 year old self?

be more selfish. you don’t have to put yourself second for the sake of others, especially at your age. nothing you do will matter in a decade, go fucking wild.

33: have you ever been to a gay bar?

nope. i want to go one day, but i have terrible social anxiety.

34: leather jackets or flannel?

both of those are really hot, but i’m gonna go with leather jacket.

35: describe your dream girlfriend

- vampire

- big tiddy goth gf

- nice personality or smthn

- uhhhhhhhhh tiddy

(ok but srsly, i can’t answer this question bcs i NEVER know what i want!! i always thought my type was THICC for sure, but all three of the ladies i have feelings for rn are pretty skinny and flat chested)

36: do you have any lesbian friends?

at least 50 lol.

37: what elements of gay culture do you actively participate in?

air, water, sometimes earth. never fire.

38: do you find straight people irritating?

nope, but i do find straight pda uncomfortable to look at. mostly bcs it reminds me of what i'm supposed to want. but i’d never tell a straight person that, obviously. i’m not rude.

39: would you rather adopt a kid or have a biological kid?

i’ll adopt a tortoise, and feed her any children that cross my path. but if i did ever have a child, i’d want it to be biologically mine and my wife’s. mostly bcs i’d want to know what it would look like, which is a selfish and stupid reason to have kids, and exactly why i’m not gonna lmao.

40: do you love yourself?

i’m a LEO (jokes aside, i don’t know. sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. but i love myself more as time goes on. definitely more than i did than when i was a teen, at least.)

[monzterzack]

sometimes i feel like... my problems are just bullshit, sure my parents dont like me, my grades are horrible and im about to be kicked out of school, but all that is just pure bullshit, like... im probably and over grown over emotional child who is a stupid piece of shit for even being affected by this

others have it real hard, i had seen people all around me suffer way more, friends who had fall into a deep depression, and its just... i want to help them but i dont know how, and i dont evem think we are friends enough for them to want me to help them out

and its just... i just... why am i so sad?, my life is easy, i dont have much problems, all my issues are stupid and... i feel bad... because... how can i even say im this sad when i dont live the pain my friends go trought, what kind of moron am i???

i feel like... cancer, like... im what's wrong with the world, like my existance only makes life harder for others

i dont even know why am i this sad, i should be happy that my problems are just bullshit

family abuse? everyone haves it, its not special so it shouldnt hurt me, self hate? everyone deals with it, so why am i this sad all the time?, why cant i just live like everyone else???

i really really feel bad, because... i want to help my friends, i dont like being powerless when i see how much it hurts to them, but we are not even that close, so why does it hurt?

and it all goes back to the same, why do i even try to connect to others when i probably just make their life worse, i just... why do i even exist?

why cant o be haooy and grateful that i dont have it as hars as others? why do i feel so empty and alone and worthless?

and... its just.... i feel stupid for crying about it like... what kind of piece of shit i am??? ans i wanna dissapear and die so everyone can be happy and everyone will be better and its gonna be like "finally he died" but the reality is that no one would even care if i died

and i come here to tumblr because it... it feels nice that some people seem to care, and it almost feels like maybe i have a reason to be alive, maybe im not entirely worthless but then... then i have this days where i look up and face the real world, and i stop hiding behind this stupid blog and the stupid characters i fucking write and... i realize.... it is all for nothing, its worth nothing, its not... its not ok for me to do them because its just a waste of time and ... and i feel like burning everything, trowing my sketchbooks and burning them because they are stupid and why did i even tho they would be worth anything

but if i do that then i will be alone and i will have to leave behind my safe world where i can pretend people dont need a reason to be alive

and... its all... fucking stupid, i feel like my brain is half dead and im so fucking stupid that this little things hurt so much, that my chest hurts so much that my breathing hurts and that i cant even sob about it because if somebody hears it they will ask me whats wrong and i wont have a reason to say why am i so stupidly saf and why i feel so stupidly alone

i cry all nights wishing for someone to tell me this sadness will go, for someone to hug me and tell me that no matter what things will be ok, but its stupid because nothing is wrong, i shouldnt be sad, i shouldnt feel bad, and who am i run to?

selfish piece of shit moronic jerk of a son of a bitch i am

and i just want to hit myself and make myself suffer so at least i have a reason to cry, so at least i have a fuckung reason to cry, u wanna fucking cry i will give u a fuckung reason u stupid piece of shit, but it only leaves me loopy and dizzy and ut doesnt change anything

i dont know what im doing where um goung what i want, i dont know i dont care i dont even fucking want to care, why why would i why would i fucking care, ill just hurt people and ill just make life hell for others so why dont god kills me??

why god why god, why dont you finish me and kill me, why do u want me to be around others? why do u want me to make their lifes worse? why dont you just take me to hell or whatever place u plan to keeo tortuing me

why did u made me this sad and pathetic?

why cant i just kill myself? why am i so afraid of dying? why am i a coward? why cant i do the world a favor and dissapear?

why did u made me this sad

[wirtdonut]

all the creepy shit, i dare you to answer all of it

MATT PLEASE omg ok 

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

idk who I said it to tbh??? probably @trenazlore and YES I LOVE HER SO MUCH !!

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

NO OH MY GOD IM JUST AN OLD GRANDMOTHER 

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

always ???? I mean like lately people have been really nice to me and Im happy because wow!! you like me!! also Im aggro because I hate me lol 

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yeah I smile at them all the time?? Its kind of something I got used to after working retail for so long 

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Im not dating anyone lol also who the fuck cares ??? 

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Heathens by 21p is ALWAYS on the radio and it reminds me of @bearlylocal because Josh Dunn is her boy 

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

omg my Yamaguchi Tadashi cosplay shorts and a Celty Sturluson t shirt with the neckline cut lower and the sleeves cut off 

8. How often do you listen to music?

Every day but its usually pandora or the radio in the car

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Im not a pants wearing girl but I wear jeans/nicer pants to work  

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

TWENTY THIRTEEN 

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Social! I used to be antisocial but working in retail has really helped me open up to people and now I wont SHUT. UP

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope 

13. What about ‘R’?

No lol 

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

NOOOO Scary

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah and no like ???? Ok if I dont know abot it then whatever I guess

16. Are you going out of town soon?

Going up to LA for an anime con in January!! 

17. When was the last time you cried?

I almost cried last night for no reason??? um probably a few days or weeks ago??? 

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah all the time!

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

I would LOVE green eyes omg

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

FATGUM Or Justin Tomimori OR my pet rabbit Quincy

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I bought a vacuum that was too small and now I have to take it back to the store ugh

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Sure!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

NO Omg

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed which is currently unmade and naked (also theres a bunny in my lap!)

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Kristin and I say it to each other all the time ! Also Danni and most of my other friends 

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

YEAh

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

UUUuhhh tumblr user @fatyumm

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Maybe one or two bad ones a year

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I think I bought it at an anime con? 

30. Does anyone hate you?

P sure my two ex besties lol 

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

AHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahHH YEAh

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I love scary movies omg!!! rec me some !

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

No Im too much of a weenie for that 

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

GOD 

freshman year of college? I would want to never move away fro school tbh 

35. Did you have a dream last night?

YEAH it was almost sexy but I kept getting INTERRUPTED

then I had another one with my ex bestie in it 

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night!

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Doubful 

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

At least two tumblr anons I think 

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope so!

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I felt really sick when I first got to work and then later on before bed but other than that it was ok 

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

lol no try a whole year back 

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I HOPE The cute sample girl is working at the store Im stationed at tomorrow 

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

not that I can think of off the top of my head

44. What’s the best part about school?

NOTHIng 

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

So many

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

I DID in like seventh grade lol 

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

YEA all the time 

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Think so, yeah!

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

nope! I dont go to school anymore and i dont work at a pet store so things are p different 

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

fuck idk??? Id LIKE to be writing fic

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My dad ???? No but he IS a homophobe

52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try really hard to be !

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

YYEeeeaaaa

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Ive done it before and I know I can do it again 

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Im SO good at pretending Im not crying 

56. Do you think you like someone?

Fatgum

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

NOoooo

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Girls and nb people

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Kristin had to deal with me crying all through the second half of RENT

60. Do you hate anyone?

No one I know personally but I wouldn’t be mad if something really terrible happene dto T/r/ump

61. How’s your heart?

It’s beatin

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

UUUMMM.....I just dont really like talking about what I was like in middle school I guess

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

YEAH64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

the ex besties lol 

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they arent painted at all lol

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

sure hope not!

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

FUck if I know! I mean, I would hate to see the person Im with crying 

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

my pants are always falling down because my butt is small 

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mom 

70. How do you look right now?

probably.....tired

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

lots of people!

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes!

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

”Opposite” sexes dont exist but I only have one close guy friend and we havent talked in a while but! I feel like I can tell @adol everything

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

lol when your bestie gets a bf

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, just exhausted

76. Are you a jealous person?

I like to think not

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like to think so but....havent really ever experienced one that was

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

HMMMmmmm

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Id kill to see any of my friends rn but they all live far and Im poor lol

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to work and sell some Indian food

81. Last person you cried in front of?

honestly, probably Kristin but if we’re counting non humans? my bunnies

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

most of my friends, I HOPE

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

god I hope Fatgum is protective of me 

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I DONT SPEAK JAPANESE so probably just staring at each other awkwardly 

(this is about both Fatgum and Justin)

85. Are you over your past?

who knows

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

WHATS AN OPPOSITE SEX LOL and no

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Kristin!! 

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I mean who says anyone Ive dated in the past has been a “true love” of mine 

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

IT WAS LITERALLY A RANDO AT SOME ANIME CON SO GOD NO 

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

UUUUUUmmmmmmm.......I dont think my friends or family were ever fond of some of my exes....

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

dang, sure hope so

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Ye, but we dont talk anymore

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nah

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

No, I had just broken up with someone :/

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

IDK if I liked anyone in March??? I dont think I did

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

@hamsa-heart???? YES97. Who do you have texts from?

Kristin, Hazel, my mom, my boss, etc

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

sucks to suck but live your dreams dude

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

YEa

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

I dont think theres anyone else in any of my profile pics

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

GOD I WISH102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

YYEEEAaahhh

[lattetae]

get to know me [pt. 21345789] tag 

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by the following sweeties : @puppytae @blumiin @kookmiinie @taeonie

i’ll tag [optional as usual] : @lovekyg @winktaes @donghunny ok i quit i don’t wanna bother 20 people lol but here are some new mutuals so hi!! obvs you don’t have to do this but i just wanted to show recognition! 

THE LAST:

1. drink: coffee

2. phone call: my mum

3. text message: ‘hows it hangin’ @ my friend

4. song you listened to: smooth operator - g.soul (he also just came out with a new hit n it was really good but like…idk i didnt hear as much of his nice voice as i thought i would?? maybe his style is changing since he left jyp idk)

5. time you cried: yesterday

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: no

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: all previous pets :’(((  

10. been depressed: i was depressed throughout high school and i think im better now thanks to leaving the shitty 12-16 education system. looking back on how i acted back then is like looking at a different person. but sometimes…i think we just pretend to be happy right?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: im teetotal, although my sister constantly reminds me that i won’t stay like this for long. 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: fawn, mustard, light green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: do tumblr buds count? if so - yes. :))) 

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: yes! 

18. found out someone was talking about you: no 

19. met someone who changed you: people do change us but i don’t meet many lol i need to get out more? 

20. found out who your friends are: i guess i always knew….maybe i need more

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: fb is still breathing???

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: n/a

23. do you have any pets: two cheeky little fancy mice and one mischievous red cavapoo

24. do you want to change your name: i think everyone hates their name when they’re young, i always yearned for my name to be something different - ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’. but given the compliments that i get on my name now, i think i have grown to like it :)))

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i went to a chinese restaurant with my parents and my older brother. we had a huge vegetarian banquet (ahhh i hate wasting food so i tried to eat fucking loads lmao). 

26. what time did you wake up: 9.45am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching a girl and three sweetheart - i loved it at first but you know when the storyline just slows its pace in the middle jfdskgfhg i’m like just get together already!!!!!

28. name something you can’t wait for: i need to make a phone call to sort a work placement out n the worry is at the back of my mind 24/7 so i can’t fucking wait until i have made that damn phone call. i’m procrastinating; i hate phoning :((

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 1hr ago? she was watching the great british menu lol she loves her cooking programmes (in contrast to me). i think she secretly dreams of working in the catering industry again.

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish that i had more confidence, i think that is the main thing that prevents me from achieving so much more. i doubt myself and i can’t do basic tasks with ease (such as making phone calls or even trying to get a weekend job). in that way, i think i’m such a failure lol. 

31. what are you listening right now:  E66S 卵 - I know where I’m going

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes (i appreciate the randomness) 

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my own thoughts afhkdsfh just stfu

34. most visited website: youtube

35. mole/s: arms n like a couple on my leggos

36. mark/s: tuan? lol nah i dont have any marks

37. childhood dream: i used to want to be a detective blessss

38. hair color: brown 

39. long or short hair: short

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: i make decisions with my heart not my head. a lot of people would call that a weakness. not me lol

42. piercings: three. 2 on one lobe and 1 on the other. i rarely wear rings though bc i can’t fucking get my ball closure rings shut!!:((( i gave up long ago damn i forgot they even existed

43. bloodtype: my parents are both O so i’m guessing that i am an O too…or something went wrong lol 

44. nickname: saff, saffy

45. relationship status: single n ready to– stay single forever

46. zodiac: gemini

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite TV Show: six feet under is so good omg like i can rewatch that shit ughhhhhh i can’t recommend enough its just so realistic n deals with issues like death and relationships and internalised homophobia and depression and nymphomania and growing up and growing old. it. is. a. good. one. 

49. tattoos: i want some

50. right or left hand: right hand

51. surgery: i had a partial nail avulsion a couple years ago and it was a wild experience (which involved looots of waiting) but the nhs did me proud in the end :)) the doctor asked me what my fave band was (p!atd) and so he played a playlist of mvs on his little computer screen and all the nurses were reacting to it. 

52. piercing: same

53. sport: what is a sport lol no thx

55. vacation: japan

56. pair of trainers: i don’t own any trainers fkhdjg

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: avocado skins are next to me - need more clues?

58. drinking: on my way to make another coffee

59. i’m about to: make a coffee

61. waiting for: my life to begin

62. want: to go grocery shopping soon

63. get married: i often romanticise marriage but i know that it has caused my mum to be trapped in her current one so yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me dawg

64. career: veterinary nurse – pls pray that i get all my grades bc im very worried at the moment :(((( 

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. hugs or kisses: hugs bc they are rare and usually make me cry

66. lips or eyes: ?? both??

67. shorter or taller: taller

68. older or younger: someone with an old soul, but not necessarily old in age

70. nice arms or nice stomach: arms? idc

71. sensitive or loud: both at the same time

72. hook up or relationship: soulmate :’)

73. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: im sure that i have kissed a strange dog..or rather it invaded my mouth with its tongue ajfhsdkfj does that count

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: who tf loses glasses - no

77. turned someone down: no

78. sex in the first date: no

79. broken someones heart: no

80. had your heart broken: im 17 ffs no lmao 

81. been arrested: no but i got detained in urban outfitters for stealing a ring when i was in high school hahahah. the security guard ran after me and my then friend and dragged us behind into some room and took mugshots on his phone. he then raided our bags… damn he was awful but luckily my friends mum came to pick us up or he said he would take us to the police. then we were banned from the shopping mall for a year and banned from all urban outfitters for 3 years! i havent been in since lmfao

82. cried when someone died: i had to go to a funeral for someone that i didn’t know and i ended up crying because of the atmosphere you know? also of course i have cried at all my previous pets deaths. 

83. fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: i like to think so but no i don’t aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hate myself for doubting myself so much

85. miracles: no

86. love at first sight: no

87. santa claus: of course ;)

88. kiss in the first date: is that even a belief?? i think that it is fine.

89. angels: eg. kim taehyung

OTHER:

90. current best friends name: ginny

91. eyecolor: brown

92. favorite movie: one of my faves is the man from nowhere. it is a korean thriller and a must-watch. one of my favourite english movies is jarhead, because apart from the fact that i love jake g, i also love the theme so much. i think it makes for some really interesting conversation. 

[btsxlami]

📢LISTEN 📢 UP📢 ARMYS📢 HERE ARE 23 UNDERRATED ¿!MORE!¿ RAP MONSTER TRACKS THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY POSITIVELY SHOULD CHECK OUT by @btsxlami

Hey guys its your favourite Namjoon promoter here again a.k.a LAMI! My last post got a lot of notes so whoop whoop and included my personal favourite 23 Namjoon tracks which you can find here

Part 2 of my underrated Namjoon series.

Here are 23 more bc damn Namjoon has a lot of fcking songs!

Disclaimers: (HOLD UP IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING THIS I SUGGEST YOU SEE PART ONE)

1. i will include tracks that Namjoon covered

2. I will include tracks that Namjoon featured in

3. I will include tracks that I personally feel the need to be well known *so no I won’t put expensive girl even tho thats my shit*

4. This list will be a bit more laid back since I covered a lot of the most important songs in the last list sooo

5. since i covered his best and most “important” tracks in the last list theres not many left but ill probably include his REALLY early like pre debut fetus tracks with his underground rapper friends, tbh I personally don’t think they are the best but you can definitely see how he grew and where he started from

6. enjoY! and reblog kekeke

7. THIS IS A LONG ASS LIST AND I FUCKING ANALYZED EACH SONG SO I EXPECT YALL TO READ AND APPRECIATE NAMJOON GODDAMIT

8. you can always go to BTS’s official soundcloud for unofficial official tracks yeet

9. titles with stars are ones i recommend ( i should of done this for part one yikes)

1. Voices by Rap Monster ⭐

from his first 2015 mixtape RM > Check out the full album here >>  X  *you can refer to more mixtape songs in my previous list

I feel as if this song is the closest a fan can get with Kim Namjoon. Just listening to it you feel a bit relaxed and almost a bit sad when you start listening to the first half of the song. This song reflects a person’s tender emotions and voices that run inside of someone’s head when they are confused. I remember listening to this 2 years ago and towards the end Namjoon starts screaming out all his pain and I started crying. C R Y I N G

Namjoon had a really smooth life up until he started pursuing hip hop. He was a beyond smart student and had a happy family so why the hell would he be depressed? He had his whole life ahead of him right?

But this lyrics totally breaks that facade down

 “ I didn’t have any dreams just like my lyrics, every day in that way the functions and equations that couldn’t give me an answer in the end those things became uncountable injuries “

Despite having such amazing grades Namjoon did not know what the hell he wanted to do with his life, he didnt want to go into something academic despite being good at it, he was lost in life and his academics could not make him happy but instead hurt him even more.

“ thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook “

This verse totally broke me apart. He wanted to be happy while being in school but school sure as hell did not make him happy. His parents looked up to him as some smartass freak but without them knowing he started writing his own lyrics to cope with his hardships.

“my identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass a different, relaxed feeling compared to when I got my report card even when I was #1 my heart couldn’t relax”

The music brought out his true inner feelings, music brought out his true personality rather than when he was almost robot like studying with no self-identity. Despite being number one in class he still felt an emptiness that only music could fill.

“even as 7 years passed... still making my mixtape by myself in one corner of my room some say I’m fake, okay, I admit it, my dark past I can justify it, but I won’t, so that kind of problem won’t happen again the pedal that I stepped on for 7 years has finally been oiled “

Namjoon has been writing music and tried to get recognition for 7 years, despite Bangtan getting fame he is still lonely writing his own mixtape in a dark corner, kind of pathetic ehh idk, in his mixtape interview his dark past was his problematic sayings and actions. He felt the need to appropriate culture in order to rap. He then figured out that music and culture had nothing to do with eachother, music is for everyone. *I’m fake*

And finally after all the hardships after 7 years he is finally started to receive praise and attention!

2. WE ARE BULLETPROOF PT.1 by: Rap Monster, Supreme Boi, and Iron ⭐

Composed 6-7 years ago when Namjoonie was about 15 or 16 THIS SONG IS FUCKING BOP. 

2 of Bangtans were also first members are featured here: Supreme boi (yall probably familiar with him) and Iron! (i hope iron never affiliates with Bangtan ever again tho we dont need a criminal around them yikes)

3. Hook by Supreme Boi, Iron, and Namjoon (also the track used in Yoongi’s all i do is win)

Extremely old and pre debut, but old is gold

Probably one of Namjoon’s only ‘diss’ song, he usually doesnt diss others while he raps tbvh

4. Seventeen by Rap monster

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT MAKE FUN OF HIM BC 15 YEAR OLD NAMJOON AT THE TIME WAS PROBABLY REALLY PROUD BACK THEN BUT HE LOOKED SO FUCKING FUNNY BC DAMN THAT HAIR AND HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK BUTHUSDHUFUFSUD

5. SKOOL OF TEARS By: Rap Monster, Suga, and Jin ⭐

Absoloute MASTERPIECE! FIRST OF ALL THE ORIGINAL TRACK IS FROM SWIMMING POOLS BY KENDRICK LAMAR AND I LOVE KENDRICK! SECOND, THE RAP FLOW SOUNDS AMAZING NAMJOON IS GOING SO HARD AND DAMN YOONGI BACK AT IT AGAIN! ALSO CREDS FOR BABY BOY JIN FOR SOUNDING SO BADASS HERE BUT HERE IS WHY I LOVE THIS SONG!

I think its absolutely amazing how Namjoon especially writes song towards youth suffering in school, it takes a lot of guts to write against a society that has been around for decades. 

“  This is a ring called a classroom This is a stadium with no referee only an audience You know there will never be a victor everyone will lose There will be no victor everyone will lose”

“ That’s right, in the end school is like another mini society A jungle made carelessly by adults They made the weaklings weak, they made the strong powerful Of course since they were strong they made the weak suffer A society built on the teachings that friends are only for pretend The morals of adults made us step on the weak to rise to the top “

Its clear to see that Namjoon has suffered in school but also isnt afraid to address the truth.

6. Expensive girl by Rap Monster 

( I FUCKING DISCOVERED THIS SONG WHEN I WAS LIKE 11-12 AND I NEVER WANTED TO PUT THIS HEAR BUT YALL LIKE FOUGHT ME TO ADD THIS TO THE LIST GODDAMIT I HATE YALL I GOT LIKE HATE MAN OKAY)

“Take it off now girl just take it off (I’m a master, baby with your bra)Take it off now girl just take it off (I can help you slide those panties off)(..I’m a beat that pussy like you never ever felt before)x2″

7. Converse High (original version SUNG by Rap Monster)⭐

Yall probably heard Bangtan’s Converse High but here was the original version written by Namjoon that was rejected bc of the swearing omg damn joonie, BUT HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THIS YESS

(funny story in seventh grade when this came out it was the last day of school and i requested my teacher to stay after school late so i could finish listening to the whole thing)

8. Suicide by Rap Monster

Rapmon wrote this mixtape in the point of view of a baby in his mother’s tummy. The baby’s parents are high school kids who are forced to go through abortion.

*this song was deleted bc of copyright and also the source of it is unknown but hey ITS IN ENGLISH AND DAMN NAMJOON RIGHTS DEEP SHIT*

(tf is namjoon doing u good)

9. What am I to you by Rap Monster from the 2014 Dark & wILD ⭐

if you DONT KNOW THIS SONG I SUGGEST YOU RETHINK YOUR LIFE DECISIONS BC LOWKEY HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE BEST INTRO’S TO A OFFICIAL BTS ALBUM (gif is from the live ver of this song and he started crying ok)

So Namjoon used to have a girlfriend who “mistreated” him. Tbvh we really don’t know what happened but on problematic men he said it wasnt anything serious it was just she would neglect him and not spend enough time but also hang out with other men.

(gif aint mine so gif blogs dont come at me)

But clearly the lyrics of this song are very emotional but the real reason why this song is a masterpiece is because of the rise of  emotions.

It starts off slow and cute, Namjoon mentions how he loves the girl and how their love is pure and innocent, throwing cute love phrases and the song sounds so soft, hopeful, and romantic. But in the middle the music starts to get more serious and Namjoon starts to question the relationship. He feels as if the girl thinks of this relationship as more of a task and a job, and slowly as the song comes to an end NAMJOON STARTS FUCKING SCREAMING AND BELTING! ALL THE EMOTIONS BUILD UP AND HE STARTS SCREAMING “WHAT AM I TO YOU GIRL WHAT AM I TO YOU I DO LOVE YOU CRAZY UH DO YOU” LIKE IT WAS SCARY I WAS CRYING IM LIKE NAMJOON WHO TF HURT YOU

10. Always by Rap Monster ⭐

This song is more recent and farely well known but I still felt the need to put this masterpiece here. Namjoon said not to worry about him as the lyrics are really sad and almost ???SUICIDAL??? but he said he wrote this when he was stressed last year. Its kind of a self questioning song about life and your purpose. I cried when it came out. well i always cry when i listen to namjoon is it a surprise.

I'm honestly in tears because this song goes to show how hurt Namjoon still is even after all these years. Even after all these awards, fans, and accomplishments. Depression still hurts after a long time. I can tell that this song was talking about his past. This song literally made me realize Namjoon was questioning his existence and I wanna hold him so badly. Guys...we could of lost Kim Namjoon. My absolute favourite human being in the entire world who saved my life. He is a human being who does not deserve such pain but I am so proud he endured it so well and look how far he came. One of my favourite verses "I live for the sake of understanding this world, but why hasnt the world tried to understand me atleast once" Its a really vague phrase which is why I like it. WORLD could mean destiny, fate, life, even parents.  He tries so hard to accept his life, to understand his parents wishes, sacrificing his own happiness yet fate decides to only give him the worst. "Dad please listen to me" "dead dad, your dead to me," Talking about how his dad wouldn't let him rap. I remember him mentioning that his dad once told him all that education he worked hard for was for nothing and I can’t imagine how sad Namjoon felt in that moment. "I would tell god if I ever meet him, i would hold him by the collar and tell him this life is like a coffee I never ordered" A pretty sad and a bit confusing verse, maybe leading to why Namjoon eventually became an atheist. Namjoon was in so much pain he didnt want to be born. "I wished I was dead...... I wished “Someone would kill me" No Namjoon never utter such words. My joonie mini I hope you are better and hopeful now, look at how far you came, your so successful and loved, and you made your family proud. Dont ever doubt yourself and even think about death, just keep living happily and moving forward. He honestly felt lost in this point of his life and still continues to feel lost. Namjoon you have such in important role and your existence was destined. You were born for a reason. You were born to change lives. 

11.  J-Lim ft. Rap Monster & Iron - Ashes

12. TIPSY BY RAP MONSTER & SUPREME BOI

Namjoon wrote this in the beginning of his rap career when he was still trying to find where he stood as a rapper. He mentions how he isnt doing this for the fame or money and he isnt the next Nas or Tupac he just wants to rap for the love of it.

13.  Rap Monster of 방탄소년단 (BANGTAN),Supreme Boi,i11evn,Marvel.J - You can't do that

*i suggest you skip ahead to 1:30 for namjoon fire verse, shade intended*

14.  RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단,Suprema,Marvel.J,Kyum2 - Rollin

I also recommend you to skip ahead to 2:40 BC DAMN BOY GOES HARD

But tbvh pre debut namjoon squad (supreme boi , young jeezy, iron are hella problematic and say the n word in this and still do so im like yikes im happy nam left you) “ They pissed, now rape me" bitch whet

yeah im just here for namjoons verse bye

imma mufukin balla on this mufuckin beat spit mufuckin rap on this mufuckin shit got mufuckin skill so im mufuckin phat its mufuckin trick and a mufuckin track i i bet you betta stop stopin da chatter im a rapper man, and i represent BPB im juss so greater than hoes

15. FUCK COCKROACHES BY RAP MONSTER AND ZICO *THIS IS SO FUNNY*

Zico was 15 and RapMon was 13 when they rapped this, Namjoon sounds like a chipmunk BUT ZICO SOUNDS LIKE JIMIN I STG!

16. Rap Monster- Thinking Bout you

Joonie Mini Representing Biggie smalls eyyy!

17. Glory By Rap Monster

"I'm a dick? Yeah, when you disturb me, I grow bigger" SO FUCKING DONE

*there was lowkey lowkey controversy bc he said he tore 4 hymens BUT DETECTIVE LAMI FIXED IT*

 In the beginning Namjoon says that people looked at him pitifully because he joined BTS,  the Underground rappers were disappointed with him which led the Underground rappers to leave him, which has ripped his hymen. Not 4 hymen of random girls. 4 and "I" sound the same in Korean

it's a bit weird but in this case he is talking about himself all the hate people showed has ripped his hymen symbolizing his innocence for music.

18. NAA BY RAP MONSTER

tHE ORIGINAL BEAT WAS DEUCES BY CHRIS BROWN I WAS DYING

19. REGULAR VOICE BY RAP MONSTER ⭐

A really sweet and open-minded song about Namjoon wanting a “regular girl” “Height? I don’t care. Age? I don’t mind it. When you say, “I’ll only look at you” then I’m okay. Whether your skin is light or dark it doesn’t really matter, our love is deeper than that. “

I feel as if idols are pressured to have certain ideal types and say them out in the open, Namjoon had bad influences around him *underground rappers* which also influenced his negative sayings towards certain things but he wrote this song all alone at a young age which shows that his intentions are pure, and ever since he apologized for his wrong doings you go joon.

his voice sounds like sex

20. DREAMING BY RAP MONSTER

FETUS CHUBBY WTF HAIR NAMJOON IS BACK

okay but seriously you can see that despite being young he put a lot of effort and thought into this song!

21.  RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단 feat.김거덕 - RAP

22.  130305??  THIS TRACK IS UNTITLED BUT IT SOUNDS SO EPIC TF

23. Trouble by Rap Monster 🔞 🔞

OKAY IM BARELY AROUSED BUT THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HAD ME SOAKED IM SORRY GOD LIKE ITS SO SUGGESTIVE I STG 

HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES I STG

[groundramon]

*eyes light up with anger and passion*

WHERE DO I EVEN START

So I guess the best place to start is that in Jessie, every single one of the characters is an appearance-based stereotype.  Every single one of them.  And almost all of them are racial stereotypes.

The main four characters (minus the titular character, who I’ll get to later) are all racial stereotypes.  All of them.  And two of them are white.  How do you even do that.

- The youngest kid is a black girl named Zuri.  Guess what her personality is.  She’s sassy, rebellious, and mean to those around her.  I’m 99% certain that she says “mmmmhmmm” multiple times in the show.  I know she says it at least once because I can literally hear her saying it in my brain while I’m writing this.

- The second youngest is an asian boy from India named Ravi (was that how it was spelled? do I care?).  Guess what his personality is.  He’s a nerdy, awkward social outcast who gets perfect grades, is cowardly, and is made fun of for his awkward behavior.

- The second eldest is a white boy named Luke, who makes fart jokes, slacks off in school, and makes a lot of bad snarky jokes.  I guess that’s not necessarily a white person stereotype but... //shrugs

- The eldest daughter is a blonde white girl named Emma.  She loves makeup, boys, gossip, being pretty, and is self-centered and disrespectful to everyone around her.  She’s the epitome of the “blonde bitch” villain trope you see in so many school-centric shows, except she’s a protagonist that you’re supposed to sympathize with and care about.  Idk if this is a white girl only issue (i dont think that blonde bitch in Miraculous Ladybug is white [i dont remember her name bc i havent watched the show in like a year, sorry] but I might be wrong) but I’ve literally only ever seen this character with blonde-haired people so I’m counting it as racist.

As for the titular character, she’s from Texas.  She had an overbearing, possibly abusive military father (which is only used for laughs, obviously), she’s helped a cow give birth, she knows how to handle a gun, and im p sure they made fun of her for having an accent (even though its so incredibly neutralized in the actresses’ performance. Debby [her actress] isnt even from texas so like....no wonder)  I mean I dont really have much of a problem with like half those things bc the cow and the gun are just harmless stereotypes.  Nobody’s going to be hurt by those; they just arent funny.  BUT DONT MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE WITH ACCENTS OR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ABUSIVE PARENTS, JESUS FUCK.

And then there’s another, more minor main character whose name I’m too lazy to spell so I’ll just call him Fat Butler Dude and....I think you can guess his personality based on that description.  He’s lazy, he loves food, he complains about his job, ect.  And listen.  Buddy.  Bro.  Dude.  I dont have a problem with fat characters who like food.  I dont have a problem with lazy fat characters.  I’m a fat person, and I’m a lazy person who likes food.  People who “meet” stereotypes exist.  But those are pretty much his only defining traits, and when you do nothing but build your character outside of a stereotype (which is true of all the above characters) then you’re doing it wrong.

And the show in general is just paper-thin and unfunny and not good.  I guess it depends on your style of humor whether you’ll find it funny or not (some people would be too revolted by one episode to analyze it, but I can handle the writing and even laughed at a few jokes while watching it) but the humor is not very intelligent generally.  Also there are like...a lot of innuendos in this show??  In one episode, Zuri says “you should’ve seen what [insert this other young kid bitch] did to Mr. Bearyton! (her stuffed toy bear)  Now he’ll never have children!”  And I’m just...........ok, sure, pretend like anyone who will find that joke funny is watching your show.  I’m sorry but personally I’m of the mindset that if your show isn’t trying to be something mature and appeal to all ages, you shouldn’t use innuendos.  Either make it bland, forgettable, and non-offensive, or try to do something great with your kids show - dont try to sneak in a joke for the adults if your show has no fucking adult audience because the rest of your writing is so abysmal.  Also that joke isn’t even remotely subtle or cute in any way.  I would rather not think of a young child mutilating a bear’s genitalia, thanks

As for the paper-thin part, it tries to sneak in emotional bonding moments between the four children characters (the racial stereotypes) and the babysitter/titular character (Jessie) and even the butler gets to join in sometimes, but honestly? nothing they do is remotely emotional, to no one’s surprise.  If I cant at least say “aw, that’s cute” because the characters are so infuriating, you’re doing it wrong.  Not every emotional moment needs to have people in tears, especially in a sitcom, but for fuck’s sake...

BUT BUNK’D IS WORSE

Take all the paper-thin emotions out of Jessie and replace them with even shittier jokes and even shittier writing.  Take out the three least racist characters (Jessie, the butler, and Luke) and replace them with:

- An overachieving asian girl with overbearing, abusive parents.  Yes, somehow they got TWO stereotypes in for the same goddamn race.  She has intense anxiety over doing things perfectly, takes on way too much for her mental health, and expresses legitimate fear over her mothers’ reaction to her doing anything other than be perfect.

- A fat mexican kid who likes food, is lazy, is dumb, and farts a lot.  I bet he got more racist as the show went on but I dont care enough to go and check.

- A Hot White Boy (TM) who is just eyecandy for Emma.  He plays guitar, he’s good-looking, he has a high-ranking position at the camp....i want to call him a Gary Stu but if there’s one thing Jessie got right, its that they at least gave all their characters discernible flaws (the problem is that they have no personality outside of those flaws :/ how do you even make a character too flawed when they arent a complete evil bastard, like what the fuck, i wish i could fuck up writing that badly)  Also his name is Xander.  I forgot the names of the above two characters but i looked em up but honestly idc enough to write them down

- A white girl named Lou who I had completely forgotten about but she’s like Jessie except on country steroids and 10x more annoying from what I remember.  She’s still the most tolerable character in the show.

- A LITERAL FUCKING STALKER, WHO STALKS XANDER, AND ITS PLAYED FOR LAUGHS, WHAT THE FUCK.  She’s an antagonist clearly BUT STILL WHAT THE FUCK.  She’s also blonde

- There’s also this evil camp councilor that is played by Freddy Benson’s mother.  She’s a stereotype too, probably a suburban white mom stereotype, but she’s still the last racist of all the characters.  She’s still annoying tho.

There are other characters too but I dont ever remember seeing them in the episodes I saw of the show, so whatever.

Basically Bunk’d is a more racist, more paper-thin, more toilet humor/bad humor-filled, more “lol random xd”-filled version of Jessie, which was already all of those things.

Honestly Bunk’d and Jessie are by far two of the most hateful sitcoms I’ve seen, and I’d say they’re a bad influence on kids of today.  The show isn’t...flat out saying its okay to be racist?  But literally I dont even think I can chock this up to ignorance or accidental racism.  Every character of a racial minority, and even white characters, and fat characters, and characters from the country.... just so happens to fall perfectly into a racial stereotype.  If it was one or two characters? maybe I could pass it off as “well television writers are just fucking idiots” (like I do whenever the PPG reboot tries to say it’s making a difference in the world lmao).  But EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. IS A RACIST STEREOTYPE.  And the fact that Jessie ran until 2015ish (and started in 2010ish) and Bunk’d is still running?  If that doesn’t tell you racism is real in hollywood, idk what will.

I never see anyone talk about this either, and ive hardly seen people talk about the show in general, and it makes me rlly mad because ???  I thought you guys cared about this kind of stuff??  I understand most people dont pay attention to sitcoms but still.  You’d think SJWs would be more concerned with LITERAL TRANSPARENT AND UNDENIABLE RACISM in KIDS SHOWS but apparently they arent.  Or just nobody knows.  But that makes me even madder because we should be calling this kind of trash out.  You say that media is important but then ignore one of the biggest genres of children’s programming, which is arguably the most influential television of them all....like idk it just seems hypocritical to me.

 so yeah tldr Jessie is just a bad/eh show in general but its made 100x worse by racial stereotypes, obesity stereotypes, jokes about things that shouldnt be joked about (especially in kids show), and lots of other things - and Bunk’d is even worse in all those regards.

[beardedwinnerobject-blog]

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My sister added her car under my mom's insurance and they pay for both cars $347 dollars 6 months for just liability coverage. When I tried to add myself to my mom ...show more

How can I get auto insurance in my name when the car is registered in someone else's name?

My mom currently has a loan on my car in her name in California. My car is registered in California, but because my husband is active duty military, we relocated to South Carolina. Is there a way I can obtain insurance in my name without being a registered owner?""

insurence quotes compare

insurence quotes compare

Auto Insurance in Indiana?

I have had Progressive for many years and no claims.We do deserve cheaper rates because of our age and driving record and low mileage. I recieved a much lower quote from Indiana Farmers Mutal Insurance. I have a 2000 Tahoe that is like right off the show room floor and I understand most companies are allowed to relace parts from a junk yard or for much lower than would it would cost unless it is under 2 years old. Has anyone placed a claim with either of these companies and what was your satisfaction? Because of the condition of our Tahoe, which is perfect and just over 30 thousand miles and a limited edition, who has ideas on the best auto insurance out here in Indiana?""

Speeding tickets and insurance?

If I just got a ticket for speeding today and would like to take it to court, will it appear on my insurance statements right away or do I actually have to be found guilty and THEN it will appear on the statements?""

Lying to insurance company?

The other night I hit into a pole in a parking lot and no one saw, and caused the pole no damage. However, the front of my car has a small damage. Money is tight. What if I were to tell my insurance company that I did not know how it happened and I'm looking to repair it...""

What is the cheapest insurance for young drivers?

What is the cheapest insurance for young drivers?

Who will pay the medical and funereal fees?

My boyfriends son was killed by a man who ran a red light. His son was NO way at fault. The man has 15,000 coverage on his insurance (california) and that's it. Bare minimum, so now what is done with the 35,000 left for costs not paid by medical ins ect... I feel it would be so unfair for him to have to pay for the costs when his son has passed away, so not fair.""

""What is the cheapest auto insurance company in the province of New Brunswick, Canada? HELP!?

I have a new car - 2007 Nissan Versa

What will it cost for insurance on a 2004 or 2005 325i for a 16 and a half year old?

I'm looking to buy my own car this summer and need to know how much more money I need for insurance. I don't want any comments like you shouldn't be getting such a nice car this young but I've made all the money I need forit and am paying for it in full. Thanks Any estimates for a year would be great

Car insurance question?

I am British and my wife American. We will be relocating to the US soon. Will my British driving licence be sufficient to be a 'named' driver on my wife's car insurance?

Can I get really cheap insurance for my bike if I only use it for a couple of weeks per year?

I live in Argentina, and only go back to the U.S. for a few weeks out of the year. What's the cheapest way to insure my motorcycle while I'm there?""

""How can i get umbrella liability insurance,without home insurance?

I only have fire insurance.please help.urgent.AAG

Cheap insurance for a sixteen year old girl on suzuki 124cc maurder?

living in limerick ireland

How much do you pay a month for your health insurance?

Is it a PPO? What company are you with? I haven't had health insurance for most of my life and am now shopping around. I have a very bad attitide about doctors and insurance... :) Oh, well. I just got a quote from Aetna-basic $187 a month-you have to spend 5K before the hospitalization kicks in and I can't remember the copay. And plan to get a quote from Anthem Blue Cross and, also, Blue Shield of California (2 separate companies here.) Ugghh! Any advice would be appreciated. If I'm going to go the effort to get insurance I don't want some fly by night whatever, but I am really so ignorant of this stuff. Thanks for any input.""

How much does is cost to become a driver in the UK?

I'm weighing up the pros and cons of learning to drive over my reliance on public transport. I want to take account of everything, (insurance, cost of average car, etc). I figure 20 for provisional license. About 800 for lessons (40 x 20), plus another 150 for the test, 50 for the theory test. What other things do I need to consider each year? (I'm approximately 30 years old, if that matters)""

Temporary classic car insurance for 17 year old in the uk?

I am 17 and have passed my driving test, so hold a full UK license, i wan't to borrow my dad's classic car for a day, to take my date to the the end of year prom. Is it possible to get temporary insurance for me for just a day? without adding me to the actual car policy? It is a Triumph Spitfire 1500. Thank you for your ideas.""

What car insurance company is offering me a better deal?

I'm 21 years old, and I'm thinking of upgrading my 2005 Chevy cavalier to full coverage. United auto insurance wants $186 down and $147 monthly for 6 months. My current company wants $262 down and $131 a month, for 9 months. Which company is the better deal? Should I even get full coverage for a 2005 cavalier?""

What car insurance do you have and do you like it?

Would you recommend it to me. I dont need a bundle i dont own a home yet, im getting my first car in a couple months and im confused about which insurance to pick.""

Teenage insurance discounts help!?

Is there a difference between the discounts for insurance for someone who has an a average compared to someone who has a b average?

Would my car be an insurance write off?

my automatic gearbox has gone on my car and cost of repair is 4000 supplied and fitted this is more than the cost of the car please help

We res the cheapest place to get car insurance?

We res the cheapest place to get car insurance?

How come my insurance is going up?

My mom just told me that the insurance company is raising my insurance by like 168$(6 month pay day) and I dont know why. I havent gotten a ticket, pulled over or anything. I mean at school I get parking infractions and stuff and it says ' your license plate has been reported to the police department' but ive gotten multiples of those and have friends that have gotten way more and nothing happens. So I want to know a reason on why the insurance would be going up. Thanks""

What to do with my auto insurance?

hello I plan to give my 18 year old daughter my car and I plan to get another car. Does anyone know how does this work. I mean I not only will be putting her on my insurance but I will be adding another car. Will I have to pay double because of this? Or would it be cheaper for her own insurance and if I should leave the car I am giving her in my name or put in her name?

What do you buy first- the car or the insurance? In Oregon.?

Last year, I sold my car. Since I did not have a car, I stopped my insurance. Now, I am ready to buy a car again, via a dealership. Do I have to already have the insurance, or do I wait until I purchase the car to buy the insurance?""

Where can I apply for free or low cost health insurance?

Im a poor student that works less than 20 hrs a week. I am a permanent resident (not a citizen). Please help. I think im going to die soon (see my other question). I also live in montgomery county maryland if that helps

I am 19 years old and live in a suburb of Illinois. How much will my car insurance be on a 2001 Nissan Xterra?

I am 19 years old and live in a suburb of Illinois. How much will my car insurance be on a 2001 Nissan Xterra?

Insurance for a mustang?

All the insurance sites I have seen require me to register, and add my personal details before get a quote, and i do not want to do that. so i will ask for your opinion. I am 25, just got my drivers license, and have a 1997 mustang. I am in Louisiana. How much would the basic insurance be? I have never been in an accident, and the mustang is just the basic model. I need the cheapest coverage, and do not plan to use full coverage, because the car is not worth that much.""

insurence quotes compare

insurence quotes compare

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