#im just so confused with the management and promotion

[bigboysfalldeep]

life in blue - posession

Officer Petersen is on a high in life.

Everything is going perfectly fine. He's started to build his own home a little further out of town for him and his soon-to-be wife, a beautiful young woman. They met years ago, and since then, Petersen has been sure she's the one. Today, his captain called him in to talk about a possible promotion. That would mean more days off, more money, and more time for his family.

Now, he's celebrating with his partner, Officer Clarke, whom he has known for nearly 5 years. It was way after midnight, and the two men had already emptied a dozen beers when the urge to go to the toilet got worse and worse. Petersen excuses himself, walks through the nearly empty pub, and closes the door behind him. Standing there, he unbuttons his pants and releases himself. He lets out a low moan in relief, closing his eyes for a second.

He hears someone enter the room as well, but the footsteps stop right behind him. When Petersen opens his eyes again, he turns around to see a young man looking at him with a coy smile.

"I'm done here, boy." Petersen says, pulling up his pants, thinking that guy is waiting for him to finish, but somehow he acts even weirder. The young man is wearing a black leather jacket, a white shirt, and tight leather pants with a huge tent forming inside them. The officer, slightly drunk, lets his eyes wander all over the man's body while he just stares at him, smirking.

"I've been looking for you, officer." He says suddenly, with a low, warm voice. Petersen frowns, confused, but somehow he feels relaxed. "Looking for me? Why?" He growls, trying to walk past him to wash his hands, but the man stops him by placing one hand firmly on his chest. "What is your problem?" Petersen pushes the man, who doesn't even flinch. Instead, he eyes the cops whole body, up and down, before their eyes meet again. "My problem?" he says, his voice getting even smoother somehow. "I..need you." The man bites his lower lip teasingly.

"Fuck off, fag." Petersen scoffs angrily and pushes right past him to wash his hands. Looking into the mirror, he notices that man still standing there, looking right into his eyes. Right then, they start to flicker, getting brighter and brighter. "The fuck is that." The officer says, truly unable to resist those beautiful eyes. "Beautiful, aren't they?" The man says, and without breaking eye contact, he locks the door next to him.

"What are you doing?" Petersen asks angrily, turning around. For a moment, he snaps out of this trance, but the man easily calms him down by placing a firm hand on his chest once more. "Relax. It's just meant to be the two of us." The man strokes Petersen's chest firmly, and at first, he takes a step back. He's much bigger than that guy, and he's not letting a man touch him like that.

"Im a cop; youre in big trouble if you dont let me go." The officer says it angrily, trying his best to sound as intimidating as possible. The man, however, just chuckles. "Oh, I know who you are, officer." He smiles teasingly and shrugs. "That's why I want you." Petersen shakes his head. He has enough of this bullshit, so he approaches the guy, trying to shove him away to leave that room and that pub altogether.

Somehow, that man anticipated that, and instead of letting him be pushed around, he grabs the cop's neck with one hand while pushing him against the wall. He's much stronger than he looks, and he easily pins the bulky officer to the cold brick wall. "Not so fast." He grins, his eyes now flickering again. "You're not going anywhere." Petersen fights back, but there is no use. "Let me go, now." He grunts as the man holds him with one arm against the neck and his other hand now on the officer's big chest again. "You can't leave just yet. The guy grins. "There is nothing for you to go back to anyway." The man chuckles again while stroking Petersen firmly with his hand. "Fuck you, I will not let you grope me." He channels his inner strength and manages to get off the wall for a mere second before his assailant pushes him back even harder. "So strong, eh?" He grunts now, too. "This will be fun." The man uses his arm to choke Petersen slightly, but more importantly, he holds the man's head in place to force eye contact.

Instantly, the man's eyes seemingly shine brightly, like a multicolored spiral that twists and turns. The officer fights, but he grows weaker by the second. Something inside him is drawn to this beautiful display, and his focus shifts to those flickering eyes. "Good boy, relax." The man says this, weakening his grip. Petersen's body slowly reacts as well, with his limbs going numb. "What are you doing?" He mutters under his breath, causing the man to smile again. "Preparing you for your new life" The guy smirks, letting his hand run freely all over the cop's massive chest. "I have a life." He grunts, still fighting, even though it's futile.

"That life isn't meant for you. Your whole purpose is to serve. To serve me, your true master." The man's strokes get more and more intense, and in combination with those alluring eyes, Petersen calms down. "Serve you?" He asks as he starts to rest his back against the wall. "Yes. Sounds good, doesn't it?" The man removes his arm completely, enjoying the sight of this beefy man slowly going under. "It doessss." Petersen smiles weakly, still watching those spinning eyes.

"You don't need that fancy house or that wife of yours." The man frowns now, narrowing his eyes slightly. He looks disgusted, even thinking about that possible life. "I dont...need...." The officer opens his mouth, and when the man leans into him, their faces are now just inches apart. "The only thing you want and need is me." He smiles again; this time, he strokes the cop's body with both of his hands, one on his chest and the other now firmly on the officer's tenting cock.

"Enjoying that?" He chuckles, rubbing the palm of his hand against Petersen's bulging cock. The officer's face softens; he raises his eyebrows, opens his mouth, and a soft, long moan escapes his lips. "Good boy. Were nearly done." The man makes sure to not break eye contact now, while he easily finds the officer's most sensitive spots. Stroking his pecs, his hard nipples, and down to his abs, he feels the cop growing bigger and harder inside his firm embrace. "Officer, can you hear me?" He says that then, and Petersen nods slowly. "Yes." The man tilts his head and smirks. "You need to grow even harder. Harder than ever before. I want you to put your whole focus on the tip of your cock. Understood?" Instantly, without any delay, the cop does as he is told. His expression hardens, just like all of his muscles. His whole body is edging him on to become bigger. As he concentrates more and more, the man can't help but touch Petersen. His huge biceps test the limits of fabric by pressing against the uniform shirt, as does his heavy chest. "Good boy." The man smirks, running both of his hands across the chest and back towards the massive bulge still forming inside the uniform pants. Enjoying the feeling of his master touching him, Petersen starts to drool heavily, his soft moans filling the bathroom.

"So big, huh?" The man bites his lip again, feeling his own throbbing dick through his leather pants. "Now. When I tell you to, you will cum, like you have never done before. And once you're done, you will be mine, following all of my commands. Understood?" Petersen nods painfully as the urge to release himself gets bigger and bigger, just like his already leaking cock.

The man lifts his head, watching the officer struggle heavily, before he grabs Petersen's thick cock, firmly jerking him off through his wet pants. "Now."

At this word, the officer's cock erupts again and again, shooting one massive load after another right into his uniform. His dick pulsates, vibrates, and twitches rapidly, in unison with the man's hand. The cops eyes unfocus before they roll back into his skull, his whole body being overwhelmed by pain and pleasure running through it. Moaning again and again, the man giggles, touching himself at the sight of this bulky man shaking uncontrollably. He drops to his knees, and his master steadies him easily, lifting his chin gently.

"Can you hear me?" The man raises his voice slightly, and Peterson nods, his body still twitching with his cock staining his entire pants. "Yes, master." The officer says, his voice dull, his eyes vacant, and his body hard as a rock. 

"Good." The man strokes his cheek with one hand, while the other is on his own bulging cock. "Now, before we go, I want you to help me. Suck me off, boy." He grabs himself firmly, and immediately Petersen leans into the man's crotch, unbuttons his leather pants, and pulls them down. The man's already wet, erect cock jumps into the cop's face, who eagerly swallows it. He must have sucked cock before, the way he knows how to please a man.

Steadying himself against the wall, the man lets out a low guttural moan when somebody knocks on the door. "Petersen, are you alright?" It is his partner, Clarke, who is looking for him. Annoyed, the man pulls at Petersen's hair to make him stop. "5 more minutes." The man mouths.

"Give me 5 minutes." He says it in a monotone voice, and at first, Clarke doesn't respond. Then he sighs. "Fine. "I'm going to piss myself soon; hurry up." They hear him leave, and as soon as the man lets go of the hair, Petersen sucks him off again.

It doesn't take long for the man to cum straight into the officer's mouth, who gladly takes multiple shots, before he orders him to get up. "Can you hear me, Officer?" He says this, straightening the man's uniform and stroking him at the same time. "Yes sir." The cop says

"You won't go home tonight. Instead, you will come to my place, your new home." He smirks, raising a piece of paper to put it in the man's pocket. With one last look at his new toy, he unlocks the door. "Don't be late." With that, he leaves the room unseen, and after tonight, Petersen will vanish without a trace.

[whoreanghae]

water ; joshua hong

genre - protective shua, fake dating kinda?

word count - 1.1k

disclaimers - mentions of alcohol / being drunk, unwanted attention, lowercase on purpose, no proofreading, fic under the cut

a/n - just a short fic, nothing special just shua being very protective :) been finding it hard to get motivation to write lately so this is just something from the back of my brain. enjoy!!

“next rounds on you, jeonghan! i can hear my bank account crying from my pocket!!”

going out with the guys after an especially long string of promotions was the perfect way to blow off steam. they always chose the best, fanciest bars to occupy. plus, there was an added bonus that if coups gets drunk enough, you can convince him that he agreed to pay for the next round of shots.

after having a couple drinks that were definitely stronger than you anticipated, it was time for you to make your way to the restrooms. minghao stabilized you as you stood up and less than gracefully made your way to the other side of the room. when you got into the restroom, you stood and looked in the mirror. as the room spun around you, you realized that maybe your limit has diminished as you’d gotten older. you do your thing and head back out, making a stop at the bar first to get yourself a glass of water. at least drunk you was still capable of making somewhat rational decisions.

as you stood at the bar, you half fell over but caught yourself on the counter. a man walked around you, hooking his arm around your waist and holding you up. you didnt think twice, assuming it was one of the guys just helping you out. but, as you looked towards the table they were all sitting around, the only empty seat was your own. now you’re filled with confusion and discomfort. you try to pull yourself away but the man tightens his grip on your side. 

“now now, we both know you’re not as stable as you think you are.”

you try to make your voice as stable as possible as you make an attempt at pushing him away or getting someones attention, whichever you can manage first.

“im fine, please let me go.”

the man leans closer until you hear a voice from his opposite side whichs makes his arms tense, but slightly release you at the same time.

“babe, everything ok?”

joshua?

“not really..”

joshua steps closer to the man who has now completely let go of your waist. he lowers his tone and his voice becomes raspy and powerful as he speaks.

“i don’t want to sound like a douche or anything, but i can have you kicked out of here faster than you could leave on your own accord. so i would suggest that you make a decision before i have to.”

the man mutters apologies to shua as he steps back and hurriedly leaves the bar. at this point, you are completely depending on the counter to hold you up. shua puts a (much more welcoming) arm around you, making you feel secure. you lean into him with your head on his shoulder as the bartender comes over and shua asks him for a glass of water. the bartender hands him the glass as the two of you make your way back to the table. the guys shift down so you can take the seat next to joshua, and you sink into his side as he feeds you the glass of water.

at this point your night had been ruined, and the guys noticed that too. shua offers to take you home which you gladly accept. you both say goodbye to everyone as you head outside and find a bench to sit on while you wait for your taxi to show up. you babble into shua’s shoulder as he scrolls on his phone.

“thank you, shua.”

“hm?”

he put his phone in his pocket as he turns his full attention to you.

“thank you for getting that man to go away.”

“i knew you were uncomfortable, i just did what anyone else shouldve done.”

“but this is better.. cuz its you…” 

shua chuckles as he rubs your arm, making you snuggle further into his side. when the taxi comes, joshua practically carries you to the car. you settle in and he makes quiet small talk with the driver as you slowly fall asleep on his shoulder.

when you get to your apartment, you pass shua your keys and rub your eyes while he unlocks the door and ushers you inside. he picks out your pajamas as you sit on your bed, watching his every move. he passes you your clothes as he leaves the room to let you get dressed.

you call out for him to come back in when youre in your pajamas, and he passes you another glass of water. you groan but he laughs as you take the glass anyways. he grabs your makeup remover wipes from your bathroom and sits on your bed next to you, lifting your legs and moving you to face him. his hands are warm.

when you’re all ready for bed, you crawl under the covers and watch as he puts everything back in its place. he makes everything look beautiful, elegant. even the simplest of motions are incredible when it’s shua. he pulls out his phone to book another cab to his place, but you sit up half way in your bed.

“shu?”

“yeah?”

“maybe it’d be cheaper if you didn’t get a taxi tonight and i could take you home tomorrow?”

“are you suggesting i stay here tonight?”

you give him a pleading smile as you pull back the covers and he playfully rolls his eyes. most of the guys have left miscellaneous clothes items at your house from other occasions, so he digs through the drawer and finds some pajamas to change into. when he comes back into the room, you watch him again. beautiful. thats the only word to describe him.

he slides into the covers and smiles at you as he leans over you and turns off the lamp on your bedside table. the night fades away, as you both fall asleep after mumbled ‘goodnight’s into the dark. 

when you wake up, the bed is empty. you stumble out of bed, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in the right side of your head. the smell of breakfast enters your nose, as you get to the kitchen and see shua cooking at the stove. you walk to him and rest your cheek on his back. 

“good morning, party animal.”

his eyes are fond as he gestures to the counter behind the two of you, where he has two ibuprofen and a glass of water sitting out, ready for you. 

“another glass of water, ive never been so hydrated in my life.”

shua laughs.

“thats not a bad thing, is it?”

he walks towards you and looks into your eyes as you drink all the water and lay the glass down with a smile.

“no, not at all.”

[sunohws]

no rules - kang taehyun

pairing: fwb!taehyun x m!reader

synopsis: you and Taehyun are fwb and in order to not spoil their friendship, Taehyun imposes some rules on the relationship . . . (there's actually no other way to describe this.)

word count: 0.8k

a/n: ssfw :3 . . . this is also very VERY cringey... beware. also this has been in my drafts for over 2 weeks. um.. i may or may not have forgetten about it when i was revamping my profile. LOL!

Taehyun had four set rules when they first started out: first, no sex while they were on a busy schedule, i.e. at the time of performances, promotions, or tours; second, avoid unnecessary caresses; third, no kissing on the mouth; last but not least, no sleeping together, especially after sex.

These were four simple rules, but y/n hated them with all his heart. He knew that he could not break them, nor could he complain to have them eliminated, and finally he understood that Taehyun had them set for a reason. The Korean man had talked about something to do with the chemistry of human emotions and how not respecting them would cause a romantic attachment on the part of them, which would inevitably end their friendships.

Maybe Taehyun had exaggerated or been dramatic? you couldn’t tell, it was better not to risk it. And it’s not that you didn’t believe that, in fact, you didn’t care. Considering that you were already in love with Taehyun, nothing could make it worse. But you couldn’t tell his friend, or it might not only shake their friendship, but also with the group dynamic, more than the casual sex they had.

Which you thought was too little, considering everyone was busy with performances and touring for the last few months, a situation mentioned in Taehyun’s rules that left you with calluses on your hands, if you know what I mean.

You understood this, of course it was necessary to focus on work, to avoid distractions. However, in your humble opinion and perspective, even during work, they need to relax a little, even take some risks… And that is why you were in Taehyun’s room, lying half-naked on his bed, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom.

Originally, Huening Kai was supposed to be sharing the room with Taehyun, but fortunately, with your wit and persuasion – and a bit of bribery - you managed to swap places with the maknae. When Taehyun finally emerged from the bathroom, his gaze wandered in surprise and confusion to see your figure on his bed. And to your delight, Taehyun’s gaze also showed interest.

“No.” he said seriously, interrupting you before you could even say anything, causing your smile to crumble. “We’ve talked about this, not during concerts and promotions.” He said slowly, making sure that the other understood. You rolled your eyes.

“Oh come on.” You huffed, standing up and approaching Taehyun, wrapping your arms around his larger body. You smiled when your realize, Taehyun didn’t pull away. “You’re so tense…”

“Y/N”

You just nibbled Taehyun’s ear in response, fiddling and messing up his hair and, damn, Taehyun was so hot. You already felt as hard as a stone to have him in his arms, clean and smelling good, wearing only a robe, since knowing him well, he probably wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

“Are you an animal or what?” Taehyun gasped, failing to maintain a serious posture in front of the elder man, exposing his neck and giving you more room to act. You, who is no fool (ur super smart), immediately took advantage of this, leaving a trail of kisses on his skin as he ran his hands alonf the others body. A stronf and tasy body, just the way you likedit.

To be honest you still found it surreal the situation you were in, having a beneficial friendship relationship (im sorry wtf) with none other than Kang Taehyun, his crush…

“Y/N, seriously, we’re not even home…”

“But we are alone. And the reason why you don’t like to have sex with me when we are on tour or performing is because you’re afraid that you wont be able to dance the next day, but we don’t have a performance tomorrow.” You insisted, as you untied Taehyun’s robe a bit. And well, he didn’t stop you.

“pfft, I can’t believe you said that.” Taehyun laughed and patted your chest. You weren’t lying. “And look at you, as excited as I am.” You smiled, opening your robe. Taehyun narrowed his eyes and looked at you with an expression that should have been threatening but failed miserably.

“Well, just this once.” Agreed Taehyun.

You didn’t need anything else, you grabbed the boy by the thighs and lifted him while Taehyun whined and laughed. The tasty echoing laugh that made your heart warm up and squeeze. “Oh Y/N, you’re like an animal in heat, all impatient.” He scoffed, and you just smiled broadly as he threw him onto the bed, crawled over him and opened his robe.

“When it comes to you yes. And don’t pretend to be any less perverted than I am.” You added, whole nibbling and teasing one of his nipples. Sure, you would love to kiss Taehyun now, but you were already breaking a rule and maybe it was better to not push your luck… You didn’t want or need to think about that right now.

At that moment, it was just sex between friends with benefits. And while you were not so good at playing that role, you were certainly good at fucking Taehyun and making him forget everything.

And that’s what you did.

im throwing up in a good way kind of. why is this so cringe. lord! um um yeah um yeah mhm, i think yep sorry for how cringey this was.

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Hey congratulations🤩🤩, Steven Grant with 24&9

.⋆｡Dear Professor｡⋆.

Steven Grant x plus size reader

When Steven finally gets a job as a tour guide for the British Museum, you decide you need to celebrate him.

Warnings: established relationship, smut, unprotected sex, chair sex, little bit of role-play, oral (m receiving), praise

WC: 589

Minors DNI

3000 Follower Celebration

Knock knock.

Steven looked up from his new work schedule to see you leaning against the pillar, fist resting against the dark wood, in front of his desk. Confused, he pushed his reading back up his large nose and suddenly the breath was knocked from his lungs. 

You were wearing an absolutely tiny pleated skirt that did little more than cover the very top of your plump thighs and a white button-up with one of his ties. Steven swallowed thickly. “Wha-what are you doing love?”

You smirked and pulled at the tie around your neck. “Oh professor, I'm willing to do anything for some extra credit.” You cooed, your voice dropping to a sultry tone that made your partner freeze with arousal. 

Your wide hips swung sensually as you walked around to the other side of his cluttered desk to stand between his legs. “I know I’ve missed a few assignments but I’m willing to put in some real work to make it up to you.” Steven was barely even breathing as you kneeled before him, your hands slipping up his khaki pants to rest just centimetres from his growing cock.

“I-I.” Was all he could manage to get out before he began to whine. You winked at him and rocked up onto your knees. You placed a gentle kiss to his bulge and then took his fly between your teeth, slowly pulling it down. 

His cock springs free, slapping against his still clothed belly, leaving a small wet spot on the dark fabric. You nosed at his hot length, licking at the few veins that snaked up to his now purple tip. “Mmm professor.” You hummed. Steve bucked in your hold, desperately trying to get some much needed friction.

“P-please love, please.” He begged, fingers curling into a tight fist. He fought the urge to push your sweet mouth down onto his cock even if you were teasing him so cruelly. You smirked wickedly before finally putting him out of his misery.

Your lips closed around his tip, the delectably salty taste of his pre-cum exploding on your tongue. Steven let out a beautiful moan, his voice rising in pitch as his head fell back between his shoulders. Slowly, you swallowed down even more of him until your nose was pressed against the thick thatch of hair at the base of his pelvis.

“Holy- I- Oh by the gods.” His eyes cracked open and then immediately slammed shut. You were too beautiful, too sexy on your knees before him. The sight alone was enough to rocket him to his end and he really wanted to make this last. “That’s it, keep going. Such a good girl.” You moaned, your plump thighs pressed together to bring relief to your own aching sex. 

Unable to take it anymore, you pulled off his cock and immediately straddled his strong thighs, not even giving his length time to get cold before he was notched at your entrance and you were sinking down onto him.

“Jesus, loosen up, you’re squeezing me so tight.” He groaned through gritted teeth, his hands coming up to grip at your plush hips beneath the skirt.  You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as you began to bounce atop him.

You pressed your lips right behind his ear. “I’m so proud of you baby, you deserve this promotion, you deserve to do what you love.” His cock twitched wildly within you, the praise going right to his head- both of them. “Now let me spoil you my love.”

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[twistedastrology]

- let's talk about pop astrology. -

----------------------------------------------------------

u can tell from the singular period in the title that this is not gonna be very positive So let's talk abt why i absolutely hate pop astrology!!!!!!!

and to be fair i will recognize what good pop astrology has done, it popularized the subject ofc and it is partially the reason i got into astrology, so while i cant be Too mad at it, i Did get into astrology thru pop astrology to essentially disprove pop astrology soo... 😵‍💫

real quick btw, and this does actually have significance in this post im not just promoting it to promote it, i have an ig now for my astrology stuff- @twistedastrology on ig go follow me there if u fuck with ig-

But if u saw my about me post on there, you'll have seen the slide where i talked abt why i actually got into astrology- to save you some time ill put it here, but please do go follow me on ig anyway if u like what i do and wanna support me 😵‍💫

like i said, when i got into astrology, i instantly noticed how many of the same keywords were regurgitated for everything.

that's what i notice most in pop astrology.

pop astrology is where everyone says cancers are crybabies, leos are narcissists, aries are hotheaded and impulsive, capricorns are cold and unemotional, geminis are two-faced, etc.

unfortunately and also fortunately at the same time, i have ungodly pattern recognition in just about everything, so of course i was gonna notice the same thing being said about the same sign and the same house and the same planet over and over again-

and to clarify before we continue (random disclaaaimeerrrrr- hey. dont do Anything that i say in this song-), this is what i personally have observed and experienced with pop astrology, im not sayin that it's All like this, but im talkin abt the very surface level, shallow kinda stuff.

that kinda stuff is what made me not resonate with my rising sign and be incredibly confused by my sun sign-

i would read "what ur like based on ur rising!!!! Cancer: U cry too much." and feel so shitty bro- id have to go look at every other sign to see which one i resonated with more and it was very rarely one of my big 3.

so naturally i was incredibly confused abt astrology but for me, that didnt deter me.

the stereotypes and stuff offered by pop astrology are incredibly harmful and play a huge part in making people not believe in astrology as a whole.

say someone's an aries sun and they read one of those posts for aries sun right- the post says something along the lines of "ur incredibly impulsive, ambitious and extroverted!!! u probably cant control ur anger" and it doesn't resonate whatsoever because guess what their rising sign is capricorn (side note: why do i always manage to default to aries/capricorn in my examples im gonna laugh 😭😭😭) and their saturn is in cap too-

but ofc they wouldnt know their rising or their saturn sign bc those aren't focused on in pop astrology- it's all sun, moon and rising-

the sun, in my opinion, is actually one of the least important placements in a natal chart- and i can do an entire post on my take on the sun dont worry i actually rly want to- but to explain why i think that real quick, the sun is the culmination of the chart, it's not its own placement.

so every other placement in your chart has influence over it, that's why i never related to taurus sun stuff because i dont have any other earth placements in my chart and mercury in gemini is my dominant planet- so i had to look at gemini sun stuff, but i didnt know that until i was like knee deep into astrology.

stereotypes are not only harmful, but also largely inaccurate.

and pop astrology also loves to convey the understanding that astrology can be segmented into little pieces, when it absolutely cannot.

"what drives u based on ur mars sign!! cancer mars: ur family :))))" Die.

BUT- say someone Does actually relate to that!!! there's 2 possibilities: they relate to it and they have mars in cancer OR they relate to it and they Don't have mars in cancer

in both of these scenarios, we are completely overlooking the rest of the chart-

you can't make astrology bite sized without also stripping it of all depth. but you can't deliver in depth astrology without it being overwhelming.

kind of a lose-lose, huh?

here's where we need to understand astrology as if it is a science.

astrology is literally an ecosystem, this is how ive always viewed it. you can't interpret one planet on it's own without taking into consideration the aspects it has to it, the degree it's in, the signs that the planets aspecting it are in.

this is scary, yes, and a great way to ward off beginners, absolutely. But if you think it's scary, then you're overlooking the beauty of learning about something that's an ecosystem.

the beauty is you can't interpret one thing on its own, because everything else will follow.

you cant sit down and learn one thing, because you'll learn a whole slew of things and feel like it's never ending- which can be overwhelming for some and satisfying for others.

imagine walking on a floor covered in wires that are tangled with each other. you kneel down and try to pick up one wire and while you can see part of it clearly, it also brings up like 500 other wires for you to untangle as well.

that's what learning astrology is like.

in my experience, i picked up mercury, and mercury brought with it gemini, saturn, what sextiles are, what conjunctions are, the sun, degree theory, aries, and it just kept going.

and the more wires you pick up, the more wires they bring with them.

this is why i hate pop astrology so much- they're picking up one wire, cutting both visible ends of it and ripping it out of tangled mess that is the floor we stand on.

now we don't know where the rest of that wire is because it was forcibly removed from the bunch.

SO! this is why i try so hard to make these posts and explain how literally Everything depends.

"what about mercury in this sign?"

"ya sure! so here's what i think it Could mean, but ultimately it depends."

"depends on..?"

"the entire rest of the chart."

"oh."

anyway i think im abt done yapping now but i hope this made sense- i think the next post i do will probably be the sun one so be on the lookout for that- and again i have an ig for astrology stuff now, link is at the top here- and i have plans to eventually probably make a tiktok as well for astrology but im still figuring that out so ill let you know what happens with that But!!!

thank u for reading i appreciate u and dont be afraid to think in depth abt vast concepts, that is where the mind is exalted 🙏🙏

[justmeinadaze]

We're A Family Part 9 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Ok, I did warn you people so don't come at me lol Good feels and bad feels abound. Idk where this came from. Probably from some person stuff Im struggling with. But alas...Enjoy!

Warnings: Smut, ALL the angst, and fluff at the beginning and end to warm your souls, Someone from Eddie's past comes into play so his trauma is mentioned (i.e Child abuse and his mom leaving), Dylan talks a bit about his feelings with Charlie. I think those are the big triggers here.

Word Count: 4127

“I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem But if I know you, I know what you'll do You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.”

You grin from your place on the floor as you watch Eddie strum his guitar and sing as Steve holds her hands while she tries to balance on her feet. 

Aurora’s first birthday was coming up and you felt like time was just flying by. Steve had started school, choosing to utilize the night program so he could at least spend time with the kids while they were awake if he was off that day. Eddie had just recently been promoted to manager at the auto shop which he had originally accepted because it paid more but found that he actually enjoyed the work it provided. 

Dylan seemed to be getting along ok and was his usual happy self. While he still loved playing the guitar, he asked you if he could sign up for the Hawkins little league team and had steadily grown to being one of the best players on the team. When you picked him up from practice one day you noticed how his face changed as he hit the ball, like he was letting out all his frustrations with the tiny bat in his hands. 

After what happened your son barely brought up Charlie, following through with calling Steve and Eddie “dad” whenever he addressed them. You sent him texts of updates regarding Dylan but Vivian was the only one to ever reply and usually it was something simple like “Thank you.”

“What’s mama concentrating so hard on, huh?”, Eddie smiled as he looked your way.

“We’re going to have her birthday here, right?”

“Yeah, why not. Wayne said he’d be able to make it and I have the day off.”

“Me to. I made sure to ask for it like 3 months in advance.” Steve flops down on the floor, Aurora wiggling out of his grasp to crawl to the metalhead as she pats on his guitar. “My mom will be swinging by. I assume Robin and Kierra to, of course.”

“I have some friends at work that want to come and bring their kids. Dylan knows a few of them.”

“That will be fun for him. Maybe I can invite the guys. I know they’ve been wanting to see her again.” Eddie leans forward and kisses the baby’s cheek making her giggle. 

You stretch out on the floor in front of you and she promptly crawls towards you bumping her head into yours. “Ow. You have a hard head.” You reach out to mess with her curls the way they do. 

“She’s a headbanger like me. Yeah? Just like dada. Dada?” Eddie chuckles as she falls back on her butt, watching him speak before looking over at you. 

“Dada? Can you say that? Say I’m just like dada.” Both men laugh until a breathy sound escapes her tiny mouth. You grin at her encouragingly as they completely freeze. “There you go. Come on, baby. Dada.”

“Da…da.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie quickly picks her up and places her on his lap as Steve pulls out his phone. “Can you say it again? Who am I? Am I dada?”

“Da…dada.”

He hugs her to his chest as the three of you smile excitedly. “That’s right, princess. I’m your dada.” He turns her around to face Steve. “That’s your dada to.”

You scoot towards the other man and point at his chest as her wide eyes watch you intently. “Dada?” She follows your finger as you point between them repeating the phrase hoping she doesn’t get confused. Her little hand reaches towards Steve’s phone and he pulls it out of her reach as she crawls towards him, headbutting his chin before he places a kiss on her head. 

“Da…da.” She falls onto her back looking up at him as she reaches her hand out again. “Da…da…da.”

##############

“No, she can’t be talking yet.”, Wayne grins as he bounces the baby on his hip. “You need to stay a baby as long as possible. Your dad grew up too fast and I hate it.”

You grin at him as Dylan and the other kids run past you out to the backyard where some of your friends were sitting on the patio talking amongst themselves. 

“Yeah, Steve went from toddler to high schooler in the blink of an eye.”, Mrs. Harrington smiled from her place at the table. 

“Stop it, both of you!”, you giggle. “I still haven’t accepted that this year my son will be 9. I can’t even think about high school.”

The boys were both outside entertaining the older kids while you started cleaning up some of the plates from the table and putting away the left-over food. A knock on the door startled you as you looked in that direction. 

“That’s weird. No one else should be coming…” Drying your hands, you head towards the front door. A beautiful, older woman a bit younger than Wayne stood before you smelling to high heaven like cigarettes. Her long black hair cascaded down her shoulders over a Van Halen t-shirt and some obnoxiously tight blue jeans. There was something familiar about her but you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. “Can I help you?”

“Hi. Uh, does Edward Munson live…here?”, she asked as she looked around behind you. 

“May I ask what you need with him?”

“Or even Wayne… I recognized the truck outside…”

You leaned back, gently calling for the man as he strode over. He froze in place when their eyes met. 

“You can’t be here.”

“Wayne, I need to talk to my son.”

“You should have done that 15 years ago, Lynn, when you left him on my doorstep.” He frustratingly sighed as his eyes met your panicked ones. “I got this, Y/N. Go ahead and get back to your guests.” Wayne stepped further out and closed the door behind him. 

Numbly, you headed back to the kitchen where Steve was talking with his mom who was holding Aurora. He noticed immediately something was off, running to your side. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“We…we need to keep Eddie outside.”, you whisper. 

“Honey, why? What’s wrong with Eddie?”

The man himself comes in holding Dylan upside down in his arms as the small boy laughs. You both meet his eyes and he blinks as he flips his son back around, placing his feet on the ground.

“What’s wrong?”

“Eddie…I…”

“No, Wayne! I have every right to at least talk to him!”

“Lynn! This isn’t your house!”

Eddie’s mom rounded the corner, her eyes locking with his. “Edward.”

“Mom?”

################

You and Steve busied yourselves around the living room, cleaning up from the party. Everyone had gone home and Dylan had taken Aurora up to her room before laying on the floor to keep her company while everything unfolded. 

“Why don’t you go upstairs to, Y/N?”, Steve whispered. 

“Steve Harrington, if I didn’t leave you alone with your father what makes you think I’d even consider leaving him here with her.”

“Because Wayne and I are here to keep him safe.”

All three Munson’s sat at the dining room table silently as Eddie glared into the void with his arms crossed, his leg bouncing under the table. 

“Whose birthday is it?”, she asked, sighing when no one answered. “I’m going to guess from the pink cake I saw that woman put away it’s the baby girls?”

“’That woman’ is my wife and ‘the baby girl’ is my daughter.” Eddie’s tone dripped with venom and it killed you. Eddie rarely ever got angry and even when he did it wasn’t anywhere near the level Charlie had gotten to more than a few times. The only time you ever heard him really scream and shout was during D & D or on stage. 

“Um, can I smoke in here or—”

“No.”, everyone responded in unison.

“Jesus, fine. It’s not a big deal, you know. I used to smoke around Edward all the time.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m so well adjusted. Either that or the abandonment.”

“Look, Lynn, just tell the boy why you’re here so you can be on your way.” Wayne seemed more in control than his nephew but his anger was just as strong as he glared at the woman across from him. 

She exhales as she straightens up in her seat. “I, uh, have you spoken to your father?”

It was Steve’s turn to sigh as he sat at the foot of the stairs, you leaning against the wall in front of him where you could still keep an eye on everything. 

“What reason would I have to do that?”

“Because he’s your father.”

“Oh, fuck you. Do you really want to play that game right now?!”

“Eddie!” Wayne extended his arm towards the boy, gesturing for him to calm down. “Get to the point, Lynette.”

“He needs help. Your father has an opportunity to get his sentence reduced but he needs character witnesses. We thought…maybe…”

You growled as you began stepping forward, Steve immediately reaching out to grip your arm and hold you in place. 

“I don’t think my testimony would help. ‘Yes, your honor, he may have taught me how to boost cars, threaten people, and beat the shit out of me but I assure you he’s a really great guy!’”

“Eddie, he wasn’t perfect but he did the best he could.”

The metalhead chuckled as he rose from his chair, clenching his fists as he paced in place. “Best he could… Wayne did the best he could. I fucking do the best I can for my kids. Dad did jack shit for me and I still haven’t gotten an apology…from either of you!” 

Your heart breaks as you watch him get slowly wound up.

“Is that seriously all you showed up for after all these years? To ask me to lie for him? You seriously are amazing. You hunt me down, show up at my daughter’s birthday party, barge into our house… you don’t even bother to try and get to know me or my family…just thought ‘hey I’ll see if he’s available to lie to a judge. He definitely has nothing to lose.’”

“How did you know where he was?” All heads turn to you as you step into the area turning to face his mother. “Who told you where to find him?” Your eyes meet as she sighs again. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Lynn.”, Wayne groans. 

“He still has friends in town including some that work at the plant with his uncle…”

Eddie’s gaze shift between the three of you trying to figure out what you all know.

“How long have you been talking to him?”, you ask. When she doesn’t answer the anger in your body starts to boil over. “Eddie has a right to know especially since he never even got so much as a fucking postcard! Yet you can keep in touch with his asshole dad.”

“Allen is my husband—”

“And Eddie was your son! How fucking dare you—”

“Baby, come on.” Steve comes up behind you and tugs you to him. “Remember, there are kids in the house. Calm down.” He reassuringly rubs your arms as you aggressively huff in his chest.

“How long?”, Eddie asks. “Since he went in?” He laughs when she nods. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

Her jaw tightens as she stands, reaching in her pocket to place a card on the table. “I’ll be in Hawkins for the next month or so. If you change your mind, just call me here.” 

Wayne walks her out as you and Steve watch the metalhead continue to fume.

“Eddie…”

“No! No one come near me right now!”

He continues to bounce on his toes as his fingers run frustratingly through his hair before abruptly hurling his fist through the air and punching the nearby wall. 

############

“Where are we going?”

“Oh, come on, Ed. You know by now 90% of the time we all get into a car, it’s bound to be a surprise to at least one person.”, Steve grins. “And like always, Dylan is the mastermind behind this venture.”

You son smiles from his place in the back seat as the other man pulls up into a parking lot. 

“Aren’t these the batting cages he practices at?”

Dylan hops out of the car, ushering for Eddie to do the same as he takes his hand with Steve following behind. You linger back to gather Aurora and allow your son to work his magic.

He leads the metalhead towards an empty area explaining to him why the helmet is important and which type of bats he prefers while his other dad finds a bench near the cage, motioning for you to sit beside him. 

“Ok, so when the ball comes, you’re going to want to swing as hard as you can.” Eddie understood enough about sports to get that was a given but, for Dylan, continued to react like this was all new information for him. 

When the first ball shot out, he swung and missed. 

“No, dad, that’s ok. I know it can be a bit fast. You have to try and keep your eye on the ball as it comes towards you and lower your hands a bit.” 

The ball shot out again and this time Eddie hit it, sticking out his tongue towards you and Steve as you both cheered in your little area. Aurora noticed and began pressing her hands together as she smiled, pointing her tiny fingers in his direction. 

The next few balls that head his way, he hits and sends towards the net on the other end that makes your son smile with pride. 

“Now, when I play, sometimes I think about… my other dad…how angry he makes me.” Eddie’s eyes meet his as he continues. “I think about how he left and how he treats my mom. How he never wanted to spend time with me like you guys do…”

Steve reached for your hand when he noticed your body stiffen as you watched them. You couldn’t hear what your son was saying but he looked so heartbroken. 

Eddie took his stance again, images flashing through his mind of his parents and how they treated him when he was a kid.

“Jesus Allen, how am I supposed to send him to school looking like this?!” His mother gestures towards the fresh welt on Eddie’s face from where his dad had smacked him. 

“Look, the little fucker almost got us caught! He cut the wrong wire and the fucking car alarm went off.”, his dad growled. 

The crack of the bat hitting the ball made you jump as he hit it harder than he had before. Over and over again, Eddie swung as hard as he could, not thinking about form or how his hands should be. With each memory he let loose, feeling the weight of the last few days lift off him. 

The machine tossing the balls whizzed to a stop as the metalhead panted, trying to catch his breath. 

“Dada.” Aurora reached his way before clapping like she had seen you do.

Eddie’s head hung as he began to cry, wrapping his arms around Dylan’s shoulders as he came to hug him. Handing the baby to Steve, you entered the cage tugging them both into your embrace. 

############

That night Eddie crashed between both of you, you clinging to his back as his head rested on Steve’s chest. While you two slept, Steve laid awake thinking about the last few days and everything the man he cared about was feeling. He hated that he couldn’t wave a wand and fix the pain the metalhead was feeling. Even though he had a much more violent up bringing in the beginning than Steve ever did, he knew what it was like to feel that abandonment when it came to both his parents. He was so grateful that his mom was being more present while trying to be better and he so desperately wanted that for you both.

Eddie’s palm moved against the boy’s chest as a tiny grumble left his lips. 

“Steve? Why are you still awake?”

“Thinking.”

“Hm. Well stop it. You have work tomorrow, man.”

“Ed, you know I love you, right? You can talk to me about anything…”

“Geez, you’re starting to sound like Y/N. ‘Would you still love me if…’”, he changes his voice to sound like yours as he smiles. 

“I’m serious, Eddie.”

Eddie opens his eyes fully as he pushes up on his elbow to look down at Steve. “I know. I just… Honestly, I thought I had left all that in the past.”

“What triggered everything these past couple of days? Was it just seeing her again?”

“Partly. Most of it was finding out she had still been talking to my dad. Couldn’t manage to pick up a fucking phone to call me but can take the time to write letters to her abusive, criminal husband. It just made me feel like I was ten all over again being left behind.”

Eddie felt your arms tighten around him as you nuzzled into his back between his shoulder blades. 

“Are you going to talk to your dad?”

“Wayne is my dad.” Steve nods in understanding before rolling on to his side to face the other boy. “Thanks, Steve. I, uh, I know we don’t…do the whole romantic thing like we do with Y/N but I do know you love me and, of course, I love you.”

“Of course.”, the boy chuckles as he reaches for Eddie’s face pulling him in for a gentle kiss. 

The other man giggles as Steve’s kisses get bolder and more passionate. “I’m kinda limited with this seatbelt around my chest.” His grin grows when he feels you hug him tighter before kissing his shoulder.

“You like it.”, you mumble with a smile as you release him from your hold and stretch. 

Steve pushed Eddie on to his back, immediately attaching his lips to his neck as he sucked and nibbled on the metalhead’s sweet spot. He lightly moaned as he turned to meet your soft but worried eyes. 

“You okay, baby?”

Eddie nodded as his thumb reached out to glide along your bottom lip before he pulled them to his own. He needed this, needed to feel and taste you both; the two people in this world that loved him unconditionally. 

Steve placed feathery kisses down his chest, reaching down into the boy’s shorts to pull out his cock. After scooting down the bed, you grab the waistband around Eddie’s hips, removing the garment to allow for more access. 

As you run your fingers through Steve’s hair, he leans down over the man’s length and a long line spit falls over the tip. Eddie groans as he strokes it with his palm, coating him with his saliva before taking him in to his mouth.  

Tilting your head, you drag your tongue along the parts of his cock he isn’t able to reach as one of your tiny hands reached to massage his balls.

“Jesus… that feels…feels so good.” 

Steve’s mouth came off him with a pop, his own tongue tracing the veins to his shaft where it found yours. Eddie perched up on his elbows, watching as you two kissed with his cock between your lips. You took over so the other man could hastily remove his boxers.

Eddie sat up, grabbing your jaw and pulling you in for a sloppy kiss before falling back down to his pillow with you in tow. 

“Turn, princess.”

When he released you, you tore off your shirt as you rolled over so your back was flush to his chest. He roughly yanked off your underwear, mewling as he glided his tip through your folds. 

“Take whatever you need, Eddie. I’m yours.”

You both moaned as he pushed himself into your entrance, kissing your neck as his arms held you tightly to him. 

The bed moved slightly as Steve laid behind him, gripping his hips as he guided his cock slowly into him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”, Eddie panted. The sound of their heavy breathing was driving you crazy as your pussy clenched around him. “Ha-harder, Steve.”

As he honored his request, you push your hips back against his own, meeting each thrust with a moan that had Eddie’s eyes flutter closed. You clung to his hand as you craned your neck as much as you could to see their faces. 

Steve abruptly pulled out, grabbing Eddie’s waist and tugging him out of you and onto his hands and knees. The metalhead’s hair hung with his head as the other boy thrust back into him, one of his palms reaching out absently for you. 

Sliding underneath him, he lifted his arm so you could find his cock and guided it back into your dripping cunt. With this new position it gave him more leverage to utilize his hips he pumped into you and pushed back onto Steve. 

“God, you both feel so fucking good.”

You whimpered as you felt the coil winding in your belly, extending your hand between you as you rubbed your clit. 

“Eddie, yes. Please… don’t stop.”

The boy pushes up on his knees and Steve wrapped his arm around his chest to keep him steady as he pounded into you. You glance up at them with admiration as Eddie’s eyes close and Steve’s head leans against his shoulder. How did I get so lucky?

“I love you.”

Both sets of eyes look down at you as you softly smile before covering your mouth with your palm, your back lifting off the bed as came. Eddie’s face scrunches in pleasure as he grunts and cums inside of you. Steve tilts him forward slightly, gripping his shoulder as he thrusts his seed into him. 

The metalhead lifts you, bringing you back up more comfortably towards the pillows and settles beside you. You play with his hair as his head rests on your chest, his arm and leg slung over your body.

“I love you to. I’m sorry if I’ve been kind of out of it these past couple of days.”

“Eddie, baby, you don’t have to apologize for something like that. I…we just hate seeing you hurt, ya know?” His mess of curls graze your chin as he nods. “I heard you answer Steve’s question but if you change your mind, we’re here for you.” 

You giggle when a shirt hits your face. “Your daughter is babbling. Clothes, beautiful people.”

You and Eddie playfully whine as he pulls on his shorts and you throw on his shirt right as Steve bounces in with a bright eyed one year old. 

“Ma’am, it is 4am. Why are you awake?” She grins as she reaches for you. “Is it because daddy let you take a nap?”

Steve holds up his hands defensively. “Okay, okay. I get it. I messed up.”

Aurora smacks Eddie’s chest and he pretends to wince. “Ow, child. I’m fragile.”

“Dada.”

“Ok, princess. You mastered dada. What about the person that pushed you out, huh?” You laugh as you lean on his shoulder. Steve climbs beside you, tenderly reaching out to smooth her hair. “Mama? Say mama?”

She rubbed her eyes as she looked around the room babbling incoherently. 

“Yeah, that’s about right.”, he chuckles. Both men try to mimic what you had done before pointing at you and repeating the word. 

There was a small knock on your door and as soon as you granted permission, Dylan’s sleepy frame came into view. 

“Why are you up, weirdo?”

“I had to go pee—”

“Thanks for the update.”

He lazily smiles at Eddie. “AND I heard you talking to Ro.”

Steve gestures him over and helps lift the boy onto the bed. “We’re trying to get her to say ‘mama’.”

Dylan grins, poking the baby’s nose making her laugh before he does the same to you. “Mama.” Her eyes widen as he does it again, absorbing his motions. Your son repeats the action, this time saying nothing when he touches your nose. Aurora’s face scrunches just like yours when you’re annoyed. 

Her tiny finger reaches for your face and you lift her to her feet as she pokes your nose like he did. 

“Ma…ma. Ma.”

“Well shit.”, Steve chuckles.

Dylan smiles in triumph as he kisses his sister’s cheek. “Dad! You can’t talk like that. We have a baby in the house.”

############

@adequate-superstar @kalinaselennespeaks @alienthings

@notasimp4joey @manda-panda-monium

@decadentwombatmiracle @katie-tibo @marsupiooo

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@waylandmorgernsternherondal-blog

@kik51199 @strngrlytn @idkidknemore @damon-loves-pie

@k-k0129 @micheledawn1975 @eddie86baby

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[unicorn-gallerexy]

Hello, my name is Uni and im a chronic procrastinator. I've been meaning to post so that way it wasn't just a random year of nothing but as we can see, i did it. Just not like i wanted to. Anyway, here's a little something for ya. I'm still posting backlogs so give me a moment pls. Oki luv u, mwa

CW: NSFW (MDNI), Drug use (fully knowing and mostly willing to do so), minor taste of coercion if you squint a bit, dubcon, Dealers Sugawara and Tendou (this was made as a thing between a friend and I so shh), exhibitionism, reader x Suga.

Help me out?

The party was just as lively as any other, and i was just as bored. Normally while Tendou and Sugawara made deals, i can usually sit in the car and wait til they're done but every so often there's a party that i have to attend with him as his arm candy. I'm not normally one for parties, only going for the sake of someone else normally. Suga used me to his advantage, being bait to lure in new customers and catch the attention of regulars alike. After pointing people in the right direction, i had to occupy myself with something else. With parties like these both of them normally tried pushing new things they made onto party goers, and they'd normally manage to do it with at least one or two for quite the good price.

Being called over to the couch where he sat, selling, was the odd part. He'd usually just leave me to wander around and do as i pleased in order to focus on pitching product. "There's my lovely little sugar cube, here." Koushi proceeds to hand me a small heart shaped baby blue colored pill, making a hand gesture. I simply raise my eyebrow at him, looking the pill over. "Where did this come from?" He sighs but leans his head against the back of the couch, looking up at me with eyes on so pretty. "It's something new Tendou and i made, it's safe, i promise. I tested it already." I keep my expression as i play with the pill in my hand. "Well if you've already tested it, why do i have to take it?" He manages to keep his smile as he explains. "I can't test it for our new clients, love. One, that's a sure way to get robbed. Two, it doesn't look credible. It could look like im overexaggerating or faking. Just be my little tester, baby, please?" He pouts, and it's times like this that i'm reminded that i'd harvest his liver if he weren't so pretty. I sigh heavily and give in, popping the pill in my mouth as Suga grabs my wrist. "Let it sit and dissolve a bit." He catches me quickly as i almost swallow it. He guides me around the side of the couch into his lap, holding me close.

"How's it taste?" He keeps eye contact with me from the moment i sit in his lap, his eyes telling me not to turn around and acknowledge the group of people he was trying to pitch this stuff to. I knew he could tell i was uncomfy, the stares i could feel making me fidget and shift in his hold. I mildly zoned out in a small panic, wondering if i truly looked presentable enough in front of these rich ass kids, their rich ass aunts and uncles, in the nice ass castle of a mansion. Koushi can read me like a book, tapping my thigh to gain my attention again. "Honey, how's it taste?" the look in his eyes is intense, wanting an answer. "Sweet... why does it taste like fruit?" I couldn't help the slightly confused face i made at the flavor, making him chuckle as he turned me so that my back was was against his chest. He held me close and kept his hands on my thighs, prompting me to swat away his hands as they kept creeping higher under my dress. "It's meant to be mixed into a participants drink or be fed to them straight like you. So we made sure it tasted good, like an easily dissolved candy." He always used the word participant when selling in order to not seem like he was promoting assaulting anyone. He might sell drugs but he has at least a few standards.

As the pill in my mouth dissolves, i swallow the rest, continuously swatting at Koushi's hands as he keeps trying to lift my skirt and force his hands between my thighs. It can't have been more than 10 minutes, but things started seeming hazy. My body was feeling hotter than before, like i was going through my own personal heat wave. I was starting to sweat, wanting nothing more than to peel away the dress that began to cling to my skin. It was an uncomfortable heat, causing me to shift and squirm around in my boyfriend's lap as he kept trying to feel me up. I lost track of when but at some point i stopped trying to smack his hands away, allowing his hands to travel up between my thighs and play with me as he kept up with the casual conversation of drugs and life experiences. I could tell i was still being closely observed by the group, though i couldn't really tell if the group had gotten bigger or not. My eyes were closed as my brain tried it's best to sort out the heat, feeling like the pleasure i got from Sugawara simply gently rubbing my clit over my panties was way more than normal.

"Ko..." The whine i let out was quiet, and the response i got was just as quiet. "Yes, love?" I could feel him press his lips against the back of my neck, devil like smirk plastered across his face. " 'M hot... wanna leave..." It seemed like my brain had figured out why i was so hot, so willing to let him touch me, vision so hazy i could barely see straight. I grind against him again and again, the feeling of arousal coursing through every fiber of my being. It was almost like i was having to hold back from fucking him in front of his clientele, feeling that if he'd just fuck my brains out, i'd finally be able to cool down and recollect myself properly.

"Awww, but i wasn't done talking... There's still so much life left in the party." He fakes a pout as i lean my head back against his shoulder with a real one. As he continues mocking my pouting face, i feel his fingers slide under the fabric of my underwear, tracing around my entrance. I involuntarily buck my hips at the feeling, whining and pushing back into him. "Koushi, please... I wanna leave, i can barely sit still or think right... Let's just go home already, promise i'll make it up to you." I beg, making him giggle more into the back of my neck, sliding 2 of his fingers inside witha bit too much ease.

"But sugar, i'm making a sale and you're doing so well for me. You're the perfect little test subject in public, especially for this." I do my best to keep my mouth shut as he quickly picks up the pace, my body feeling even hotter. I turn a little and push more of my face into his neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne as i kiss up and down the side of his neck. The growl he lets out is quiet in my ear, his fingers moving even faster, his free hand wrapped around my lower waist to keep me from squirming away. I burry my face into his neck as much as i can as i release around his fingers, whining loudly in his ear. The heat subsided for a second, allowing me to catch my breath before coming back tenfold. I could feel Suga mildly grinding into me, still managing to talk to the people that surrounded us.

"Yeah, one sec..." He puts his mouth against my ear, starting to slowly move his fingers again. "Babe, you could've just said you were that horny, our friends here wouldn't mind a show. How about you get on your knees and help me focus so i can make this sale, then i'll take you home and fuck you like you want." The preposition was too good to pass up, but for different reasons than i expected. I slid off of his lap and settled onto my knees in front of him, mouth watering. He smiled from around his coated fingers, placing his other hand on my head and ruffling my hair.

He lets go of his fingers, muttering about how good i taste, before undoing his pants and sliding himself out. His tip is flushed and drooling just as much as i am, his hand taking a tight hold of my hair as he pulls me closer so that his length rests against my face, eyes locking as he stares down at me. "God, you look so pretty when you're this eager for me." He turns his attention to the group of people who haven't moved nor turned away, my eyes sliding to see them out of my peripheral. "See? Just 10 minutes ago she was swatting away my hands under her dress and worried about you all watching. Now, she's on her knees, drooling for me, and unbothered by you guys." He gives them that same thousand watt smile, my mind spinning with the small thought that it's only been 10 minutes. He lets go of my head, leaning back completely as he keeps his eyes on the group and motions to me with his hand. I go to reach for him only for him to smack my hand and make the same gesture. I pout but obey none the less and take him as far as i can into my mouth, pulling up to swirl my tongue around the head.

He lets out a minor groan, taking a deep breath as he relaxes in his seat. "A question... Does it work on both men and women?" I hear a younger woman, hair long and dress longer, ask. He nods and hums in affirmation. "I test everything my partner and i make, and she just thought i was being a horny pervert. This is the first time she's even seen it. Guaranteed to work on anyone who doesn't have a viagra addiction." He manages to rouse a small chuckle from the group, groaning more himself as i go faster than before. "Fuck.. So, what are we thinking? Got a deal or two?" I hear a few yes's and confirmations, but i can hear a hum of apprehension. I pull off of him with a gasp, moving to suck on his balls as i see him raise his brow.

"What's wrong now, Harry?" He has this determined look on his face, only faltering a bit when i make my way back up to his dick and far enough down him to gag. "I'm just a bit skeptical is all, i mean, how do we know she's not faking? Or just a whore in general." At that moment, i feel Suga's hand on the back of my head, pulling me off and pulling me back onto his lap. I squirm around, mildly helping him as he pulls my dress up to my waist and my panties to the side, sliding in with ease. I toss my head back against his shoulder and moan as he immediately starts moving. "A couple of things, Harry. Number 1, i dont appreciate you talking about my girl that way. If anything, all of you are getting a front row seat to something i only get behind closed doors. Consider yourself lucky for the view and watch your mouth. Number 2, I assure you, it's genuine. Under normal circumstances, she'd have gotten off my lap awhile ago and probably slapped me for trying to touch her during a public party."

He pulls the neckline of my dress down beneath my chest, taking my tits in his hands as he turns and plants both feet firmly on the ground to fuck me even harder. I squeal at the change, letting him have me any way he pleases, moaning loud enough for at least the people in the kitchen to hear me over the music. I hear a few more confirmations of deals to the side as he leans to whisper in my ear. "Look at you... Look at how much money you're making me. You really are a good luck charm, aren't you? So fuckin' good for me, bet if i asked you to suck one of them off to close a deal you would, wouldn't you? Fucking dumb slut." I whine loudly at his words, moving my hips to grind against him as he brings himself to a stop and moves a hand to wrap it around my neck, choking me as he tells me to keep going. I put my arms on his thighs and use what mild strength i have left to fuck myself onto him, having him let go of my throat and chest to instead opt for my waist.

The more desperate i get, the faster i get, Suga encouraging me by telling me he's close and to make us both cum. I hit the wall before he does, sitting firmly on his dick as he starts thrusting up into me again until he fills me in front of his clients. He pulls me close, taking a moment to catch his breath against my neck before pressing a kiss against my jugular holding me tightly as he looks back over to the group. "Now, which of you wanted to make a deal again?" I turn my head slightly to see the now even larger group of people, everyone with a hand raised. "Wonderful."

[dojae-huh]

i couldn't imagine my ask would spark this much discussion from other anons. And im not a jw shipper like that anon accused me, i've been here since sticker era. it's just like huh check the timeline, it's 50/50 now, i won't discuss about it until there's more info about it.

Anyway, i really like the way mischievous jh randomly (the vid was cut but still) said he didn't need a coffee truck (to support him during the filming of his drama) but his full face looked at dy with full of anticipation haha and doyoung looked at him like "??" but to our surprise, johnny said he's already ordered (a coffee truck) for jh (im not sure he's being serious or not). I wonder if dy will send one to jh soon.

Since you're busy and maybe you haven't watched all the content during dy solo yet, there are 2 little things i notice. 1 is when dy slipped and mentioned jh name instead of saying 'suggest' (재현 - 제안) https://twitter.com/panyeey/status/1782331563679846828?t=Q5Cw71Be-jnGvsCLub0Lxw&s=19 i think if other idols mentioned another members name by mistake like this, normally they would laugh it off and make a funny joke to ease the atmosphere, but dy looks panic right away, stutter and repeat the correct words 2 more times haha why you have to be so nervous bunny lol remind me of the time he did it once during sticker era too lol

the 2nd one is johnny is on a good terms with dy, with how he was being mentioned by dy a lot, the part of he's a drink mate along with mk hc dy could pay an important part of their friendship

Miscommunications happen. It is especially easy to be misunderstood on i-net, where we have only text as means of communication and language barrier/cultural differences. Everyone should simply keep it in mind and give their opponents and conversationists some slack, not get all defensive right away.

I haven't watched solo promotional and new 127 content yet. Only the MV and some performances on music shows, Dingo, etc.

Link

Funny. It happens, when a name is said every day many times, so misplacements of similar words happen.

28:13

The woman on the background left, and the cameraman in black changed to a manager with a phone, Jaehyun finished eating, so enough time was cut off.

Tae didn't react to Jae's words, he was focused on texting on the phone. Do was alarmed. Taeil was ready to see an episode of his romcom, Woo lifted his head to focus on the people talking and understand what's the new topic, Yuta was distracted by his own thoughts, Johnny answered instantly.

Which makes me think Johnny and Jae had been talking about his drama. Maybe the food truck Jae sent to the staff. Johnny reacted too quickly, he continued on the topic he was involved in.

Johnny said "Already ordered", by Korean rules there was no pronoun. It can be I/we/someone. However, seeing the conversation and reactions, it was Johnny who sent it. There was a short moment, when Jaehyun seriously asked "Really?" (his back of the head to the camera, focus on JN). What's interesting is that JN was talking to Doyoung about the truck, heh. Yes, I ordered a truck for your boyfriend. Even Yuta got confused and said his joke to the wrong person.

JN was serious, he talked about choosing and sending a picture. ANd editors highlighted him with "what a man" comment. I expect the truck will be reveiled later.

But back to Jaehyun-ie. Yes, he was super cute being so sly, hinting he wants a food truck again from Doyoung. It was Johnny saying he will send a food truck, but Jaehyun looked sideways at Do.

Do's expression sends me. Jaehyun just earned himself something, because Do's face screams he miscalculated/forgot and needs to correct the situation. Some big gift is on the way.

Lol, It's been how many years, and Jaehyun is not different from that time he was saying it's OK to not receive anything from Doyoung on his BD, that he didn't anticipate, ShowChamp PDnims' congratulations were enough.

[schumigrace]

hello :D

im not tryna get into my gossip girl era but,,, what is going on with webber n his wife??? i was looking at reblogs n got so confused,, so i did surface lvl research and it says they met in 1995 so he was 19 and she was 32?? huh??? and what’s the deal with maria sharapova,,, okay maybe i am a gossip girl after all but I JUST NEED TO KNOW

Hey! I might not be the best person to answer this just bc I don't engage in an awful lot of Mark Webber content if it isn't Martian-centric purely because the only version of Mark I actually like is the fictional version created by Georgia_k lol

But yeah, basically Ann was his manager and has known him since he was 19 like u said. Basically just a bit of a gross grooming situation really. he's always claimed to be very happy with her 🤷‍♀️ but I suppose there's a power dynamic there no matter which way you look at it. It makes people feel a bit uncomfy tbh, whether that's our right or not idk

Maria and Mark are both Porsche brand ambassadors, they've done a fair few videos and events together promoting porsche etc. Obviously people love speculation, as far as I'm aware there's never been anything to actually suggest that anything has ever happened between the two,, other than, you know, vibes 🤷‍♀️

that's honestly the only gossip I have on the whole thing I'm afraid, sorry nonny <3

[kwangyanese]

ugh lemme get this off my chest

i came back to kpop in 2020, i had left around 2014 because the first group i was interested in (exo) was losing member after member and the fandom had split and it was just a horrible experience so i didn't want to be part of it anymore. coincidentally when i came back in 2020 aespa debuted and 2 members were added to nct (sungtaro).

i had grown fond of nct that year and i liked those 2 very much, and aespa was the first gg that i was extremely interested in from the get-go as well (in a very unhealthy way btw). the short time i was a fan of kpop as a teenager was not nearly as convulated as the one i'm experiencing now as an adult lol. just the fact that i was able to drop kpop for almost 6 years as a teen only to be brought back bc of the pandemic. the thing is even tho i liked exo very much (i still do), it was never to the point where it'd be considered parasocial. i think i only got to experience Real Parasocial and Emotional Dependence when i started to like aespa.

i think that made me realize that i was unable to care about men (especially men that i DIDNT know) in the same 'deep' and insane way that i could love women that i didn't know. anyway my point is i always saw men as objects even back when i was a teenager. especially idols. i know that it's a image they try to sell and if by chance we get to see a real human emotion then that's a plus. for me it always went down to either pretty or talented men singing and dancing and that was it. strong deep ties between them was beautiful to watch but i was always aware that i didn't know them thus i could not trust them.

what hooked me abt sungtaro was mostly bc im a contrarian and a lot of ppl were hating on them back then lol but with time i genuinely enjoyed their dynamics - sungchan's rookie mistakes and charms versus shotaro's professionalism as a dancer and lostness in being in a country he wasn't familiar with and a language he didn't speak. the two of them had it pretty rough in the beginning and i love a underdog. they barely got any activities as it was and they stayed in a limbo since they didn't have a fixed unit. it felt genuinely freshing and like things were actually gonna work out for them when smrookies (shohei, eunseok and seunghan) showed up.

theeeeeen lee sooman was removed and all plans went to shit. not only had we lost the man who knew and created the kwangya lore (which was one of the things i liked the most about aespa) but also the man who was holding sm up by its fingertips lol. yes he was committing multiple crimes while doing so but at least he would never treat or manage groups like the new management bc the mistakes they are doing now are the mistakes he did 10 years ago (and hopefully learned from lol). riize was gonna go wrong from the very beginning. first of all removing sungtaro from nct was such a dumb move. they had finally grown an actual fanbase there but the semi-good thing was that some nctzens also became briizes lol. we had lost shohei to his injury but at least we had eunseok and seunghan who we already knew had great synergy w sungtaro plus 3 new guys. center 5 tried to promote them as global group of young men who were hip and relatable in the beginning, relying mostly on their contact w fans online. i have no idea why they published that manhwa, literally no one asked for it neither was it interesting or continued. then when they released siren everybody was confused on why would they remove these guys from nct just to make them do a nct-esque song.

i think that's where the issues started. their concept was too vague. but luckily they were received well both in and out of korea which was their initial goal. all in this mean time there's already leaks happening, but as far as i rmr the reaction in the beginning wasn't so bad, the fandom wasnt that tight yet. so center 5 decides the FANS get to choose the fandom name, so we do: sunz. i rmr thinking it was ugly and that just sun was better but at least it wasn't briize. then out of nowhere the kfans start saying that actually sunz is EXTREMELY offensive because of the political connotations of rising sun (mind you, my first thought was sun+riize. and MIND YOU again, riize performed a song called rising sun not long after) with japan's colonization. so not even days later, center 5 says that they decided to change the fandom name to briize.

that was probably the first time kfans threw a tantrum and got their way, and center 5 showed they have no backbone lol. i shouldve realized at that point it would be a waste of time to be a part of this fandom (and for a LONG time i said i wasnt).

the thing is it happened again and again. whatever the kfans didn't like, center 5 would change (dates, designs, the lightstick). what kind of dumb ass +20 year old company changes stances again and again to please a small group of whiny people? the only explanation was the lack of experience of the new management. all people involved in working with riize rn have no experience at all and they just follow the flow of local fans.

by that point seunghan was already in hiatus because some briizes (both kfans and ifans) were pissed at him and harassed him until he was too emotionally unstable to stand on stage, and that's when the fandom split between people who thought he shouldn't be put in hiatus for what he did and the people who thought he should be removed.

i'm not korean or asian so i'll never in my life be able to understand or relate to believing that idols should be perfect human beings who are not allowed to drink or to go out or to have sex or to date and if they aren't perfect or pure then they shouldn't be an idol. an idol for me is someone pretty or talented who sings and dances and does it well, that's it. as long as they aren't harming someone behind the scenes then i don't care about their personal life. i understand that it's a cultural thing but it will never make sense to me. and i'm sure there must be many asian fans who don't think that way.

when seunghan got in hiatus the first reaction of ot7s was to say that it's okay for him to take time off and that they would wait for him while ot6s were just happy that he wasn't there, that his 'impurity' wasn't staining the other's 'purity' and that riize's 'image' would finally get better. the members didn't say anything about it. seunghan posted an apology and center 5 said they would handle whoever was exposing his personal life and all people who were harassing him.

and yet, not even days after, they started removing him from riize content. removed him from videos, from photoshoots, from merchandise and from songs. that's when ot7s caught up that there was something wrong and that this wasn't a simple hiatus, and that's when the ot7 protests started (where they would either comment "riize is 7" in sns or scream it, although only ifans out of asia had the balls to actually scream). ot6s where simply just annoyed at this and said that it was unnecessary and it would make the other members uncomfortable. this split the fandom even further, and ot6s would blame genuinely every little thing that went wrong with the fandom or with the members on seunghan (and his fans), in a way to ostracize them even further.

riize was probably ordered to not mention him by name, because they didn't do it for 10 months. there were a lot of comments about seunghan in the beginning that they obviously couldnt answer so they just ignored it all until they broke off communication w fans and would only return to semi-normal interactions after most of the ot7s had dropped riize and the seunghan protests were dying down. at the very beginning we only got a live of the 6 of them looking miserable because seunghan was harassed until he was in hiatus and now some ppl were trying to throw eunseok, anton and sohee under the bus (if i remember correctly it was: eunseok bc he had a gf and was drinking, anton bc he had a gf and sohee because he drank and went to clubs and was too affectionate with a friend). all they did was ask for fans to not believe the rumors (bc ppl were extrapolating what they had done) and that they would be okay. it was very obvious they were all distraught and upset even tho they tried to play it off as another normal live.

in the meantime, sm did absolutely nothing. literally nothing. ignored all the calls and e-mails and reports and projects ot7s did just to KNOW if seunghan was okay and when he would come back and that it would be fine for him to do so. they didn't do anything to people who were harassing seunghan, if anything they allowed them to get worse. so now there's a lot of akgaes.

one of the reasons i think sm ignored it all is bc MOST ot7s were still watching, listening, buying and supporting riize as 6. one of the 1st things some ot7s planned was to boycott sm and riize until seunghan came back. i did my part, i never bought anything from riize, i pirated their content and never supported them as 6 🤷‍♂️. there is literally no point in screaming riize is 7 to staff who has no power over it after you already bought the damn ticket to the show. do it in front of the building, do it in any free show riize attends, do it in coferences that center 5 higher ups go to, have the balls to say it to riize personally and let them know you support them as 7 lol. just don't give sm money. the thing is most korean ot7s are fucking cowards and they never did anything for seunghan other than write notes in the billboards people bought for him. and i think that lack of action got korean ot6s too comfortable, because they were the majority in all korean events and knew ot7s would do nothing.

so imagine their shock now 10 months later after all this time of inaction, out of nowhere, riize posts a statement saying seunghan will be back, and seunghan posts ANOTHER apology for what he did. mind you, not even hours before, dispatch posted an article saying he had left riize. ot6s went from celebrating to being absolutely livid. they start boycotting and harassing all of riize.

to make matters worse, wonbin (the most popular, the one who has the most akgaes and has the most fans who are anti-seunghan), like 30 mins before going on stage in madrid, posts on weverse defending their choice to bring seunghan back and APOLOGIZING for making briize mad. so now kbriizes think sm FORCED him to do it, and they bring all their anger back on seunghan, bc they believe sm is using wonbin as a shield and that they'll try use other members as well. this is right around the time they start mass buying funeral wreaths and sending them to the park in front of sm. the phrases on them vary from jokes to actual threats, but all are addressed to seunghan. riize is still in madrid (and right before they went on, there's was a riize is 7 chant) and seunghan is by himself in seoul. someone posts a video of seunghan walking thru the hundreds of funeral wreaths in front of sm alone, and later someone posts pictures that he went to the billboards with support messages. the next morning we get the news he decided to leave riize for good.

the way that they treated him is simply inhumane. and such a lack of professionalism. how dare such a big company go back on their word over and over and not do the basic thing that is protect their artist. they literally let him walk ALONE through HUNDREDS of funeral wreaths with HIS NAME. he's just 21!!!!!!!!!!!! do you know how insane it would be to walk through your own funeral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to lose your career and to be ostracized by your own fandom for something so fucking stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they have been threatening his life since LAST YEAR and watching and judging his every move!!!!!!!!!!! they want him to repent thru their terms and they're mad he's not whipping himself in front of them!!!!!!!!! he couldn't go out to help his friends, he couldn't want to attend umiversity, he couldn't go to restaurants, he couldn't go on shows. they would constantly remind him how he needed to be repenting like he was a criminal!!!!!!!!! i think that's why they did something so radical, they wanted to break his spirit, and they did.

riize wasn't even there to support him thru it. when the statement came out, they were on the plane back to korea. there was no way center 5 thought that bringing seunghan back into riize was a decision they made as a whole, but deciding to remove him again was something that seunghan could decide on his own after having witnessed such a horrific thing with no support system. if anything, all the suddenness of this points to something else. maybe center 5 had already decided they would remove him, but wanted to do one last cruel thing to him and riize, just to be sure that they would keep the insane fans who gives them money, and hope the fans who cared about seunghan will stop caring now.

but you see this thing will blow up in their faces. because kbriizes are simply never satisfied. they'll target one member after the other (they already are doing that). and now whatever little connection riize had with briizes was severed. they saw with their own eyes all those funeral wreathes. they saw their own company go back on a decision they all had made. they saw the fans who they had build a relationship for over a year turn back on them just to remove their friend and co worker, for things they have also done. so they KNOW their neck could be on the line next. they KNOW the fans they have genuinely don't give a single fuck about their words or feelings or passion. and the company just sent them on their next event on japan, so they'll have to face all the fans that did this without even having time to rest and think, because sm booked them from oct 15 to oct 20.

and to be quite honest, i wasn't even ride or die for seunghan like that. my focus on riize was simply bc i enjoyed and biased sungtaro, i liked seunghan and eunseok only bc i was already familiar with them. from the moment they removed seunghan from content, and especially when they removed him from siren, i knew he wasn't coming back. sm literally have never done anything like that. in those 10 months my faith went from low to nonexistent. i had kinda already accepted he wouldn't come back, but i thought it was evil of sm and center 5 to not even say anything regarding his situation. so the anger i feel now isn't even just for seunghan, but in general, seeing idols be mistreated like this. but i have never seen it to this extent.

and for them to bring him back out of nowhere just to remove him 2 days later? this is INSANELY EVIL. i will never be able to look at riize or sm the same way ever again. they knew exactly what the reaction from ot6s would be because THEY LET IT MARINATE FOR 10 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!! they didn't prepare a SINGLE thing to protect him or the other members. if anything they were foaming at the mouth in a hurry at the chance to remove him because they knew he was already in a delicate spot. they're literally playing with this guy's mental health!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was genuinely worried yesterday that he would kill himself!!!!!!!! sm already dealed badly with other idols being mistreated in the past, but to give in to what haters say? this is a new low for them. they should have stood their ground, they should have removed those wreaths and let all the members say that they won't tolerate any of that!!!!!!!

but instead they bowed their heads like the cowards they are. i genuinely feel sorry to everyone that's under sm rn. especially the rookies and the new gg that will debut. what a sorry excuse of a company. they deserve all the bad things that comes their way. this would also be such a perfect chance to address the madness that fandoms can become and how important mental health is to idols, but they threw it in the trash to stay in the same mess this industry has been for years. and now riize will go back to the same way they were, pretending everything is okay but walking on eggshells. i can't even feel that sorry for them cos they should be able to stand up for themselves. i literally can't look them in the face without feeling anger and sadness.

[knize-strachkvas]

ep 9 here we go!! first things first. this time i was not repotting my plants but was trying to make some progress on puzzles that i got from my sibling for christmas and that 1 000 pieces monstrosity is taking up so much space on the floor of my room !! (priorities.... and also adhd.... which let me TELL YOU, as i found out puzzles are big no no for my brain but its too late now lmao)

anyway, fantasy boys. the producers choosing the team by themselves is nice. and it was good to see them deciding what trainees they want in their teams. they also divided the high-ranking trainees for once lol. the only thing that doesn't sits right with me os the fact that it's individual competition. its the semifinal already and you make them compete against each other? they should be working as a team at this point not going against their own teammates :))

either way, all the teams are good - not surprisingly, the producers knew what they were doing and created good teams.

spaceman is kinda meh for me. i don't really like the song but their vocalist were strooooong (hanbin's voice tho >>> he deserved the first place, especially after his rank dropped so much)

run team is good ! ! i vibe with the song more in general but hyunwoo, daehui, wooseok, hikaru and jinho in one team is a+ (hyunwoo 6th and daehui 7th?!?! lol what the hell and woosek deserved no1)

another team. I didn't really catch what the team is called (im still working on my puzzles and im dying here) and the same with the song lmao (they are repeating "grab my hand" in the chorus so i guess the title has something to do with that???) but i really like it. I see they make it minseo's sob story time (he deserves more attention so im not that mad but they also made him feel desperate and not in a good way) yuma fits the concept so much, im glad they switched him with ksoul. jaemin, hyunbin, hikari and daehyeon !!! this team was good !!! (yes im repeating myself but let's be honest, all teams are good at this point) oh no yuma is crying again (he really is the crybaby of the show) minseo 2nd (not that surprising after all the screen time he got) and hikari 1st?? yes. And daehyeon 1st place from judges?? god that was deserved!!

lol so the 4th performance is going to be next episode?? okayyyy that's not unfair at all lmao. bc have the patience of a three-year-old child (and all the performances are out) i watch the performance anyway bc fuck you mbc. (also seunghyun, junwon, taeseon and myungjae are there) LOOL i really don't like the song. its messy and just makes no sense??? this is a big disappointment :)) there are really good trainees in this team and they were not able to save the song :"

also the way they are releasing the whole performance on youtube makes no sense?? first run and spaceman (i guess they won the live show??) and then snacks and hold tight (so that's the name of the song lol) without snacks being in the 9th episode?? THAT JUST MAKES NO SENSE and if they put snacks last bc its the most hyped-up team...that's just even more disappointing bc the song is the worst of them all :)))

my struggle right now is that i don't know who to vote for. i have two groups of trainees, 1. trainees that have a big chance to debut and i wouldn't mind them in the line up (daehyeon, minseo, wooseok, linqi, hyunbin, santa, junwon, hanbin, taeseon, sungmin, hikaru and hikari) and 2. trainees i really like and want them to debut together in jbj like group (hyunwoo, jinho, daehui, seunghyun, hyeonggeun, yuma, myungjae and jaemin). in general i wouldn't mind any combination of trainees from these groups to debut. i just want my codependent bbies to debut together and ksoul not to debut (the same goes with my preschool line. they're just too young an i don't want them to suffer under some slave contract pocketdol is going to put them under). to be pragmatic, i should probably vote for the popular trainees i like bc they have a good chance to make it ut then i would feel bad for not voting for trainees like jinho, seunghyun or hyunwoo bc they are my favest of favs :(( i hope you all understand my struggle) another problem is hyunbin. i don't like voting for people that are in already debuting group bc it can ruin the group but...come on...ciipher is long dead and we can thank rain for that. but if hyunbin will make it (which he will im sure) then he will be stuck in this group for seven (??) years and what will happen with ciipher?

okay so it's tome for ep10 and let me tell you. i am ANGRY, dissapoited but not surprised. i knew that many of the good trainees are going to be eliminated in that round but seunghyun, myungjae, daehui, hyunwoo, hyeonggeun ?? people have no taste whatsoverer lmao. but the worst thing is that ksoul is still there :)

anyway lets go. i have my puzzles ready and i actually need to go out in a few hours to be sociable (disgusting i know). what the fuck is this?? i expected to see snacks performance and not this?? why are they in their uniforms and talking about why they want to debut?? why are we watching this?? wait - i'm so so confused it's the elimination already?!?! what about the snacks performance?!?!? i'm so fucking confused but honestly, i could just miss something?? oh we are getting it now?? what is this editing jeez.

okay the song is still bad but god this team is strong. like i just don't underdstaaand :"""

okay its the end f the semester and announcement..it like i don't know who won lmao :DD spaceman winning is pretty meh.... for me, it was: hold me tight > run >  spaceman > snacks

oh and we are back where we started....the elimination (pls dumb and dumber conversation) but i'm so confused about what is happening?? how can we have the final mission without the semifinal elimination?? god this is hell (and the puzzles i'm working on are literally dante's hell so there is no hope for me)

hdjskslwpw seunghyun making fun of beomjun...i need these idiots to debut together :))) no but jinho, hyunwoo, seunghyun, beomjun and myungjae would be a good team (the fact that only jinho survived the elimination is a crime)

both original songs are good but shot off sounds like your generic bside and gesture like your avarage title tracking. like these two songs are so different and its obvious which one is going to be the fan's favourite bc the darker concept is just preferred by the audience sooo

oooh sports day my beloved :DD tbh i have no idea what is happening bc i'm working on my puzzles and all i'm hearing is their loud screaming and screeching :DD myungjae can RUN :DD and beomjun being the plunging bag of absolutely everybody there akshdaslhdsjdij

lol it's FINALLY time for the elimination....okay. do i even want to watch it when i know my beloved seunghyun is going to be eliminated ?? the answer is always no but here i am anyway

SEOKHEE !! i have no idea how he managed to do that but that's what he deserves!! also wooseok my bby!!

also the soulmatism of the 1st and 2nd place in both fantasy boys and boys planet....you can't make this gay shit up. sungmin is just genuely happy about junwon finally winning the first place :" and junwon being a little cry baby. i love.

Gdhsjskwk myungjae slapping jinho for making it :DD honestly jinho has zero chance of making it into top12 but good for him

also sungmin leading team in which many of them are going to be eliminated had to be so hard...like they are all talented and trying their best but they all know that they don't have a chance :)) fuck it all. also hyunwoo...that boy is amazing. he deserves to debut under the bestest company (all of them do tbh) but god poor sungmin :(

(in the teaser for the final episode everybody is so angry and agreseiv3 :)) like i know it's an act and they probably trying to be dramatic for the show but ugh why :))

okay so i found the final performances..ooh they didn't change the teams?? they just had to continue with the members that were not eliminated?? okayy I thought they would make it even number and shuffle some of the members around.

shut off - what the fuck are the outfits...it's summer. why they put skying goggles on them? and puffy jackets?? that's a choice. i expected something similar to what run team had for the last mission.

gesture - they have all 12 members?? nobody got eliminated?? whoa just debut them like this. also their outfits are way better and actually fit the concept of the song. also taeseon uuuuuuuf my boii (and jinho my bestest boy of them all)

top12 thoughts oh boy buckle up bc I have many of them :" so i just don't understand how can ksoul still be in top12 with all the shit he did??? like what the actual fuck??? like all the rigged voting in produce was bad but like...can they maybe copy that a bit here and do some magic and make ksoul 13th??? im not going to say anything.....please. there is way too many better option...like just put there hyunbin, seokhee or daehyeon there instead of him :) pretty please

okay that's it :)) i'm so not looking forward to it.

so under the influence of local anaesthetics and pretty strong painkillers, i made the very questionable decision to watch fantasy boys. it was a mistake and you're going to suffer with me.

first things first. i dont think the editing is bad? surprisingly it doesn't look like they are trying to evil edit some trainees? which is surprising and it also shows how low the bar is lmao (im looking at you mnet).

the first two eps were okay. they showed a lot of performances without evil editing them that much? i hated the way they made myungjae look incompetent but he was the only one used for the drama value? i think? as i said i was not really focused while i was watching it lol. also the way they sorted them to the grades using the id card was very dramatic and i like the idea

the most questionable thing is the dorm situation. that one trainee saying it look like the squid game room was not far from the truth lmao. them sleeping in one big room is just creepy, especially when they don't really switch the light off during the night in the halls?? i would not be able to fall asleep in such an open space. and them having to spend their free time there? nope NOPE :D

their idea for the visual battle was cool. them knowing only the visual concept and choosing without knowing the song was evil. and the songs seemed equally impactful. whoever chose them did a good job.

now the participants. maybe im just way too old but why does it seems like the majority of the trainees have an extremely huge ego? i know that this is survival show and pretending you are better than you actually are and creating an interesting persona is literally part of their job but boiiiii its so annoying? i have zero interest in stanning a 15yo who thinks they're best at absolutely everything while lacking a basic human decency. idk im just not vibing with this attitude. most of the teams had very bad teamwork bc they are all self-centric and not able to cooperate with the rest of the team. they are all there to become a part of a boy group. that's literally an endless group project where you need to be in close proximity with your teammates 24/7. sounds like hell but as far as i know they all went there willingly.

mentioning annoying participants, it's time for the defenestration team, also known as the participants somebody should throw out of the window as the human garbage they are. the honourable members of this excellent team are the stealer team (except for ivan, ling qi and wooseok) and ksoul. the stealer team is here for obvious reasons. they are a bunch of xenophobic idiots. yes, if you're already debuted idol in korea and you can't speak korean at all - that would be a problem. but neither of the chinese boys was already debuted idols and they still have time to perfect their korean. they were just a bunch of insecure meanies who were jealous that some foreign kids were better than them. and with ksoul. god, i can't stand the kid. well....kid. uhm how old is he really? that's the real question here lmao. anyway, ksoul is an annoying, arrogant and self-centred jerk that does not have an ounce of will to cooperate in his body. that boy is not fit to be in a boy group consisting of 12 members. he needs to be permanently the centre of attention, being the best and not having any competition. having him in a team would be a punishment to the rest of the team.

other trainees i would love to talk about santa and yacht (no i will not call him yaya). wabi sabi what the actual fuck. why. i have so many questions. (ksoul immediately knowing who they are was the only funny thing ksoul did on that show). with santa, i kinda get it. he is good, his skills on the same level as some of the other trainees and there is a potential for him to blend together perfectly. but yacht? he is the oldest here and his skills are lacking in every way possible. i read somewhere that yacht is there just to accompany santa and that sounds about right to me. them leading the global voting even before the 1st ep airing just showed that having a solid fanbase (consisting mainly of bl fans) can do a lot. the ranking was not deserved at ALL, especially yacht's. (would also like to mention that being on a survival show and having to communicate constantly in a language you're not familiar with is hard and all the foreign trainees are brave for going for it. the stealer team situation just proves it. and the fact that they actually show it there is a miracle.)

right now (ep4) this is my top 12. surprisingly, after only 4 episodes, there are a lot of trainees that are a good choice for the debuting team. it's more about not letting the red flags (aka the defenestration team) debut and not giving them more attention than is necessary. top3 caught my attention during 1st episode (i knew junwon from &audition), the rest of them did great during the visual battle, especially jinho, seunghyun and myungjae.

okay that's it for now. can't believe i now need to watch eight (?) more episodes. i love to make myself suffer :))

[sankttealeaf]

dumping my modern au durgetash ideas down here because i made rue + gortash in the sims earlier and now i cant stop thinking about them causing chaos. this is so stupid

(under the cut for ease)

rue is a nepo baby, social media influencer with a very devout following. the cult of bhaal is very much a cult disguised as a commune and she promotes it like, all the time.

gortash - notable politician, honestly not a huge depart from canon if im being honest. shady, sleazy, sooo handsome (he's paid me to say that)

he hires her as his social media manager for his upcoming campaign. she's then 'fired' because it's leaked that they were hooking up and it got a little messy. (they were caught fucking in his office and rue threatened to kill the person who walked in on them.)

rue posts on sock accounts about being against gortash's policies only because she finds it funny at how angry he gets (he asks her to find out who's behind the tweets. she never does)

she still promotes his campaign, like, a lot. people wonder if she's being paid to do so and shes like "you could call it that ;)". stirs up more drama for him and his pr team to dig him out of. she's blocked from interacting his official accounts because she was just telling everyone about how his game is "kind of cringe" but "man, is he hung!" and how "everyone should vote for him so he can buy me this sword i really want" (she knows his account passwords and unblocks herself, dont worry) (gortash thinks this is hilarious. his name is trending every other day because of her)

their breakup is MESSY. rue goes on hour long livestreams 'crying' and gaining sympathy from her followers and starts a smear campaign against gortash one day because she was bored. gortash is seen in public with other notable influencers because he's "moved on" and "is taking the break up well, unlike some people" (he's not. texts her frequently. even emailed her on his professional account. that was another pr disaster when the emails were leaked (by rue))

more scandals occur when they're seen together again and media outlets are going feral over what's happening. people are so involved. are you team rue or team gortash? (or team who cares, backed by orin) rue tweets from gortash's account saying how he's going to donate so much money to the "commune" she runs and business begins to boom for her on that front.

rue has a public breakdown over orin leaking so much information about her that ruins her reputation overnight. she disappears for like, a good few months and comes back online with a total rebrand.

she's now dating notable professor + academic author gale dekarios for some reason? she seems happy. people are confused. a lot of comments keep asking about gortash so she does a live stream "answering the people's questions" and is painfully honest about everything. another pr disaster for gortash who somehow got into office and is now dealing with the fallout from rue airing out all their secrets online. it's a mess.

someone asks her if she would ever get with gortash again and she says for ten thousand gold. gortash paypals her the money immediately with "do it coward". she announces her engagement to gale the next day (bought a ring with that money thanks gort x)

anyway hello if you read this thanks for indulging me i'm rotating them around in my brain as we speak.

[ballet-symphonie]

Vaganova Ballet Academy Asks

So there is official information of Koshkareva signing a solo contract with Bolshoi and Nikolay Tsiskaridze's close friend (devilonpointshoes on Telegram) and ballet enthusiasts on ballet forums stating that Koshkareva, Valiullina, and Kuprina going to Bolshoi. How do you feel about all the star students going to Bolshoi instead of Mariinsky like many expected? It isn't unexpected that Valiullina is going to Bolshoi given that she suits that company but with Koshkareva and Kuprina being Mariinsky's trainees for a year, and their dance style suiting Mariinsky more, I really do not understand why they chose Bolshoi (perhaps they were given soloist role straight away)? Anyways I'm also confused if Koshkareva is going to Bolshoi like Kuprina, why is her name not taken down from the trainee name list on the Mariinsky website... Honestly idk how to feel about this and ngl Im pretty disappointed that Koshkareva and Kuprina are not going to Mariinsky :(

The Bolshoi is the fast track. These girls have been promoted as stars and BT has likely made them big promises to keep treating them that way. With how the Bolshoi gives out roles at the speed of light to young prominent grads, plus the benefits that generally come with dancing in Moscow (read: money), the offers are likely very tempting. The corps life is tough, no one wants to do it if they don't have to lmao.

I thought with this reinvented MT and more publicized MT trainee situation that MT management would have managed to keep at least one of Koshkareva and Kuprina but I guess not. I am actually more surprised Valiullina is tagging along as I thought her body type might hold her back. While I agree with many that her dancing fits the broad movement and expressive style of the Bolshoi, that’s unfortunately not exactly what goes on stage all the time nowadays at BT, maybe its about 50/50 now depending which principals are cast.

Hi Ale! Any news on Daria Kulikova? How is she doing at the Academy? I think the 2023 class is a powerful one, and my opinion isn't based on who is better. But there's something about Kulikova??? I don't know... but I like her dancing and I'm rooting for her, there's just something special, artistic I see in her.

The 2023 class has just been everywhere and she hasn’t been one of the most hyped ones for obvious reasons. I don’t think I’ve seen where she’s going but I also haven’t been crawling through the TG channels looking for information about her you know? 

With the ‘big 3’ of this class heading to BT, there’s likely some MT spots available, which is theoretically what she would want after changing schools so late in the games.  

Do you think there will ever be a Kovaleva graduate to top Vishneva off? I honestly don't and it's not because there weren't other talented girls to graduate, but it's just that none of the ones who came after, could even compare to Vishneva, let alone surpass her. Koshkareva for example, is really talented, but it's already being called the 'next Vishneva', so... I will say though, after Vishneva, only Smirnova and Khoreva came a little close and probably Koshkareva will too.

I don’t think she will ever top Vishneva, she’s a once in a 100 years type of a dancer. I also don’t know how much longer she will continue to work. Her talent as a pedagogue is immense, she’s proven that she can train exceptional dancers with different body types, backgrounds and ambitions. Her training and her graduates, quite literally is defining the past, present and future of Russian ballet.  

how do the “classes” at vaganova work?? like if it’s class of kovaleva, does that mean that she’s taught them all 8 years at vaganova orrr 

No, if a ballerina is listed as ‘class of Kovaleva’ that means that she taught their graduate year. Generally, the teachers will change every 1-3 years as some teachers are especially skilled at working with different age groups. 

[slytherinshua]

i j saw your post about the hybe thing and i agree so much, mhj aside i feel like bang si hyuk got too greedy buying all those subsidiaries and he can barely manage them. he doesnt even need to overwork them this much since theyre all so popular and they’d do fine even without all these promotions its makes me sad. soz if what i said made no sense im not good at voicing out my thoughts but i j wanted to get out how much i HATE HATE HATE hybe (not the groups) 😅

definitely, hybe in general has become just such a big confusing mess. it's basically just a bunch of midsized companies all operating together. the interactions between idols are great, i definitely think that was part of the goal. sm was always marketed as a family, and joint events between their idols have always been a thing. and that's created a lot of fans of sm as a company who will stan every group there. the same thing goes for hybe now that it's become like that. you have interactions between a bunch of groups, like hybe game caterers, and it brings in more fans. people will be watching something for a group they already stan and then decide to stan a new group that also appears in that content. i'm not saying it's bad, because interactions between idols are one of the things i love most and i definitely do this as well, but it has become a bit of a mess.

as for the overworking, i think it was always bound to happen. as soon as a group is doing really well and bringing money in, they're going to have a lot of promotion and comebacks. newjeans have comebacks very regularly, same with txt, enhypen, svt, or any other really popular group in hybe. idk if the overworking is actually going to stop anytime soon. it seems to just continue until someone gets injured and/or put on hiatus.... it's really not sustainable but with how normalized it is to have comebacks every couple of months, i don't see it stopping??

[banghwa]

See I understand criticism of kpop industry as a whole and even individually producers but it really seems that a lot of those points are only brought up by people that hate said group/ their connection to bts 😭 like why do we have people saying they will never listen to nj while actively enjoying groups managed by park jinyoung and yang hyunsuk 😐😐

Like Ive youngest is only a year older than nj youngests and I saw nobody point that out!! I had to learn that stuff myself how are we gonna be againts minors in kpop but be so selective ://

tw: mention of child exploitation, sexualization

ive got to refute this right off the bat bcs i have seen plenty of people pose these same criticism to other idols and groups for years ESPECIALLY those under jyp and yg. honestly i dont know what kind of rock youre living under if youve never seen these same criticism when just a few years ago the biggest conversation was yg's weird fixation on and control of jennie especially during solo, which made a lot of people really uncomfortable with the song. and then there was burning sun and that time everyone realized he groomed his wife...like yg especially is STRONLY disliked its why he left the company in the first place. which honestly leaves me confused as to the actual intent of you sending this ask...

also at its core i think the critisism around min hee jin have less to do with the girls' debut age or her having any individual scandals than her being behind the overt sexualization of newjeans' lyrics and how she uses controversy as a tool for their promotion. the biggest difference is that as far as i know groups like ive and lesserafim are not being this actively and openly groomed by their management . i cannot read the lyrics to cookie without feeling sick and i dont know how anyone could even listen to it, forget even try to trivialize it under the guise of defending a group of grown men under a whole other subagency...

NO ONE should be debuting under the age of 18 (and even then thats young), people are CONSTANTLY criticizing this practice despite how normalized it is. if your concerns around this water down to "its bcs theyre in hybe and people hate bts!" im sorry to say but you're a lost cause. i promise you not everything is about fanwars and your zealous defence for bts does not change the fact that what min hee jin does with newjeans enables and encourages child exploitation to a degree of blatancy that is not fucking normal or permissible in this day and age .

[bawkrya]

Um actually, the toothpaste-[I shan't see the bit through but please use this ask as setup to unlock more cdrama infodumping, I like hearing about ur deranged men mwah<3]

hi jae im using your ask for the cql infodump.

--

ok so like we going into the intricacies of these three motherfuckers and why shipping them in certain ways is a little fucked/fundamentally misunderstands their character(s)/etc.

CW for discussions of a bit of a variety of abuse

NMJ - Nie Mingjue LXC - Lan Xichen JGY/MY - Jin Guangyao/Meng Yao

So: run down for those who may not know these characters and what they're about.

All together, the three are known as the Venerated Triad. The three all played major roles during the Sunshot Campaign-- a war of the Jin, Jiang, Nie, and Lan Sects against the Wen Sect, who was trying to take over all sects --with Nie Mingjue/Chifeng Zun (one in the middle) known for leading the Campaign, Lan Xichen/Zewu Jun (one on the left) Also leading on top of protecting ancient Lan books when the Lan Sect had basically fallen, and Jin Guangyao/Lianfan Zun (one on the right) infiltrating the Wen Sect and sending battle plans to Lan Xichen, which ultimately helped them take down the Wens.

After the Sunshot Campaign ended, the three swore Brotherhood, which is like, really complicated to explain, but in most books in this genre, it can be gay.

So like why is it bad to ship all three if they did one of the gay rituals. Well.

Jin Guangyao initially joined the Nie Sect, then known as Meng Yao, as a form of servant. He was known as the bastard son of Jin Guangshan (the Jin Sect leader), whose mother was a sex worker, and was raised poor despite having the blood of arguably the richest man in the cultivation world. He was bullied to actual hell wherever he went, until it was brought to the attention of Nie Mingjue-- the Nie Sect leader. NMJ defended him, and pretty quickly promotes him to be the second in command of his army, especially after seeing how skilled MY was in this subject. He basically becomes an advisor alongside NMJ, became friends with Nie Huaisang-- NMJ's little brother --and was very well trusted by NMJ. But, despite now having a higher position within the sect, MY was still ridiculed by the General, and quite harshly at that, literally just because his mom was a sex worker. For the drama I guess, MY just DOESN'T tell NMJ about this.

Later on, a mass-murderer named Xue Yang would come to be held in the jail of the Nie Sect. Without anyone else's knowledge, the two were already colluding, as at some point MY was colluding with the Wen Sect? This shit is so confusing on timeline when it comes to CQL it's kind of insane, but anyways, MY already knew Xue Yang, and after a few days of him being held in the jail, Xue Yang miraculously escapes as the Wen Sect very suddenly attacks the Nies.

While this is happening, MY very deliberately kills the General of the Nie Sect RIGHT in front of NMJ. Like NMJ saw the whole thing. But he still has the gal to be like XUE YANG KILLED HIM!!!! XUE YANG KILLED HIM DA-GE PWEAAASSEEE!!!!!!! but they don't really get to dwell on that because someone else tries to attack NMJ-- to which MY saves him by taking the stab in the stomach for him.

Once they manage to get the Wens off their ass, NMJ has MY come to the little Nie meeting room, and is basically like (through tears) WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT MAN. Because again, NMJ trusted MY a lot. MY was, at that time, probably his most trusted guy in the whole sect that wasn't his baby brother, and now he's murdered his general and let an actual insane criminal loose. While NMJ claims the only reason he won't kill MY is because MY saved him during the battle, there is a lot of underlying care that he has for MY, so he just exiles him and boots him out of the Nie Sect.

"why can't that be gay" to me its a very surface level take to just ship them off of this. have some nuance. we'll look into these characters more intimately later.

Now. From here. MY would join the Wen Sect as Wen Rouhan's advisor. And he's REALLY playing up the part-- because at this time, it seems most likely that the Wens will win the war-- so MY would have a high ranking govt. position in the ruling sect. But. Wrenches are thrown into the plan, and eventually, MY realizes that he needs to have an escape route for whenever the Wens tip over, and they're no longer on top.

This is where Lan Xichen comes into play.

At the time, the Lan Sect had been viciously attacked by the Wens, where the vast majority of its people were eliminated, and the Cloud Recesses/where the Lans live had been destroyed. Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen's uncle, instructed LXC to take the ancient texts from the hidden Library of the Lan Sect, and to run. Because, if everyone else did get killed, at least the ancient texts and the Lan Sect Leader would still be alive. And very begrudgingly, LXC does. While running away, MY would save LXC and provide him somewhere to stay-- which gives MY the out that he needs. He gains the trust of at least one of the leaders of the opposing Sects, and because it was trust gained out of mercy, it was something that he could easily use against LXC should it ever come to that.

Over time MY gains more and more of LXC's trust by sending him copies of the Wen battle plans, giving him intel about the Wens, etc. etc.. And as more and more of it proves to be right, the more LXC trusts MY-- even though he had previously betrayed NMJ in a major way. Because NMJ is still pretty pissed/sad about what happened. Though, LXC doesn't tell NMJ that MY is the intel because he knows it would piss him off.

etc etc etc time goes on, the Sunshot Campaign comes to an end with the Wen Sect going under, and MY is revealed to be the intel that saved the other sects. MY goes to the Jin Sect, getting the name Jin Guangyao (which is a whole other post I could go off about (tho in defense of JGY LMFAOO)), along with the title Lianfang Zun. Again, he's basically an advisor guy, except this time it's under his dad who fucking hates him to death.

This is when the three, LXC, NMJ, and JGY, swear brotherhood. And again this may not seem so bad for a ship, but this is a very heavily summarized thing. Let's get into JGY's craving for power.

No matter what context you put JGY in, he will want power. It's a matter of proving himself to a father who doesn't care about him, proving himself to those who ridicule him for having such a "lowly birth", all that-- he's a viciously insecure man. When he was with the Nies, he had a high rank. He was cared for and adored by the ruling family of the sect-- but the Nies weren't the wealthiest or most influential sect. The Nies weren't a small sect by any means, but they weren't the Wens-- who were able to overthrow an entire sect over night, and initially get away with it because the other Sects were too scared to challenge them. And when the Wens were going under, the Jin Sect was once again the most prominent sect-- even if it was NMJ who was leading the whole campaign.

This craving for power was something that NMJ had noticed and would quickly come to oppose, but as he was slowly succumbing to his way of cultivation, people weren't so ready to believe him. He was "irrational and violent", a stark contrast to JGY who seemed to make himself at home with his new position in the Jin Sect. And eventually, NMJ would start to shut his mouth on the matter, especially when not even Lan Xichen would fully listen to him-- and he had a deep amount of trust in LXC. He would start to comply to keep the peace, which meant swearing brotherhood to a man that betrayed him, and letting that man back into his home.

These trips JGY made back to the Nie sect was mostly to perform what I believe was called "Tranquility" for NMJ. The saber spirits that the Nies cultivate are self destructive for its user, which was why NMJ's health overall was starting to decline. He would have outbursts of rage, his mental state was skewed, all that. And Tranquility was meant to help sooth his Qi in hopes of postponing the inevitable-- there wasn't a single Nie Sect leader that lived a full life while cultivating saber spirits.

BUT! BC JGY WAS MAD AT NMJ! JGY altered the score of tranquility in such a subtle way that not even LXC would notice for like, 16 years, and did it in a way that it worsened NMJ's health. So like. For over the course of what. Six Months. JGY was slowly poisoning NMJ through these visits-- and as of canon for Fatal Journey (The Nie Spin off Movie), taught Huaisang this distorted score, which lead to NMJ murdering members of his own sect in a fit of uncontrolled rage. Literally only LXC was playing the right version of Tranquility for NMJ, but he wasn't the one able to make the most visits as he lived the furthest away from Qinghe/the Nie Sect.

But yeah um. NMJs fucked up state lead to the best scene (NMJ kicking JGY down a whole flight of stairs) and the worst scene (NMJ fucking self imploding). He dies because of all this thoguh. Yeah.

now for xichen. my lovely webkins plushie soaked in milk that gets slammed against a wall 20 times in a row.

I can't deny that Xiyao aka LXC/JGY was like......... a Thing. Ok. But the thing people fail to realize is that Xiyao is an abusive relationship through and through, because JGY only used it as a way to have power. And the thing that trips people up about this is because JGY is human. He's comically evil in every other instance except for his relationship with LXC, which is why people think it was earnest, and that they just didn't get their happy ending because of things JGY did "in the past".

And I won't deny that JGY did have some underlying care for LXC-- because abusers don't ever want to believe that they're doing something bad. He believes he's doing what he's doing for his own sake, that he's in the right because if LXC doesn't have trust in him, then who will? LXC is an influential figure still, even if it's the Jin Sect that's on top. And LXC is the only person who stands up for him regularly within the four major sects.

Xiyao in a plot related setting makes sense. It was a survival tool for JGY. LXC was a gay man who was very vulnerable during the war. His father was killed, his sect was on the brink of total elimination much like the Jiangs, the survival of ancient history was on his shoulders so he needed to survive-- and JGY provided that link. He was LXC's shoulder to cry on, someone he could trust with personal secrets, and while there may have been a genuine connection from JGY as well-- his whole intention with the relationship was to gain power. While LXC may have indulged in sharing secrets, JGY probably never did. Considering he kept the whole music score and murdering their sworn brother a secret.

You can even see how JGY functions relationship wise in maintaining a certain image in how he treats the whole situation with Qin Su-- his wife and um. Half Sister. He love bombs to hell, and when it doesn't work he gets angry and lashes out. I don't think he would have needed to be as unrestricted to LXC as he was Qin Su, because LXC very much............ Has Issues. And I don't think it's helped because his mother was locked up by his father in a cottage for years on end in total isolation. LXC has NOOO basis of a healthy relationship, so I'm sure he accepted what JGY presented at face value. Which is why I think it was so easy for JGY to maintain those lies for literally 16 years.

JGY took advantage of skills taught to him by LXC to murder NMJ. He took advantage of LXC's favor to put him in a good light to the cultivation world, and he was able to get in to the Jin sect with LXC's encouragement. LXC is the literal pillar to JGY's success, and if that pillar falls, he has nothing to back him up.

Sure, he might have Su She, a dedicated follower who did a lot of his dirty work-- but Su She was despised even by LXC. He might have had Xue Yang to fall on for even filthier shit, but Xue Yang was a notorious mass murderer who eliminated a minor clan just because he felt like it. LXC was the ONE guy who he could rely on wholeheartedly to keep his reputation in tact. Which is why he begins to act so irrationally when he sees that he's losing LXC during the Guanyin Temple scene-- which is where JGY dies. AND GET THIS! GET THIS!

JGY DELIBERATELY. PULLS LXC INTO THE COLLAPSING TEMPLE WITH HIM, BEGGING HIM TO FALL WITH HIM-- BUT OH, OH LAST MINUTE HE PUSHES LXC AWAY FROM THE RUIN TO SAVE HIM ONE LAST TIME. SOMETHING THAT WILL STAY ON LXCS CONSCIENCE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!

their relationship is BUILT on JGY doing something good for LXC in order to make LXC feel like he owes him. I'm sure over the 16 years there were MANY positive events from JGY that LXC clings onto, but JGY still killed NMJ. He still killed Jin Guangshan, and pushed Qin Su into killing herself. He forced prostitutes into continuing to have sex with JGS even as the man was dying, he killed his own son with Qin Su after finding out they were related, and wiped out a minor sect after blaming them for the death of his son. He falsely accused Mo Xuanyu of sexually harassing Qin Su (or himself if u go off of the novel), and exiled MXY because he just didn't like him. All that! All that under LXCs nose.

so I just. I CAN'T take it when people say oh, i love 3zun because they make each other worse. NMJ and LXC TRIED to make things right between all three of them, and JGY couldn't settle for that. It's two victims and a murderer/abuser. Even when NMJ was still hurt by JGY's betrayal, he would ask LXC how he was doing in the Jin sect. He WANTED things to be better even if he knew things were getting worse, and he bowed his head out of respect for LXC, which would lead to his early death.

When you say shit like oh they make each other worse, I feel like that should only apply to characters who are mutually destructive. LXC was a victim of abuse. NMJ may have argued and fought back, but he was a victim of petty grudges. In an ideal world, NMJ would've been completely content with straightening things out and understanding the circumstances-- but the circumstances here were viciously damning, and JGY only made it worse.

and again like. LXC was a peacemaker. He didn't like that NMJ and JGY hated each other, even if they would be visibly pleasant to one another, he wanted them to go back to the way it had been before the Sunshot Campaign-- which is why I think he proposed the Sworn Brotherhood. But I don't think he knew every single intricacy that lead to the downfall between those two-- a simple solution like that wouldn't work.

And as I mentioned earlier on NMJ's and JGY's relationship to each other being surface level if you shipped them-- this may just be my own interpretation of NMJ, but I very much believe he saw JGY as another little brother. So, on the same level as Nie Huaisang-- who he cares very deeply for. JGY and NHS were around the same age (iirc jgy only a few years older, but not in NMJs age group), the two got along with each other greatly, and i believe both shared similar interests. So. I think the dynamic of NMJ holding JGY to the same standard as NHS is a lot more interesting and takes more things into account. Not every relationship between not-blood-related men needs to be romantic. lmfao. It also just makes the betrayal and how NMJ receives it a lot more personal to me.

These three have such an interesting dynamic to me that can absolutely be explored. Again I won't say that Xiyao is made out of nothing-- there's elements there, but to make them into a cutesy little pair is a vicious disservice to JGY's character, because you can't separate him from his manipulative nature. It's a core part of his character whether you like it or not, taking it away just takes away JGY's appeal. On top of that, shipping them for the abuse aspect is like..................... lmao. It's not mutually destructive. you're weird.

anyways nielan sweep, those two were sucking and fucking on the battlefield. a warriors bond can never be broken

(art by Valdrift, I commissioned this giggles)