#im joking. we dont really have a date do we. i should make one up

[skeletonlover69]

i missed my 1 year anniversary with sans

i've had this blog for 10 months now.

vent alert ig??

i originally made this blog to have an outlet to my less than common preferences on skeletons. specially on my BIG CRUSH on sans from undertale. which, you know. usually people aren't very nice about that.

i'm still really embarrassed (and ashamed?) to talk about what i like irl. i have people who listen to me, yeah, but they cant understand. i know they love me even if they dont get it but. man somehow it hurts, only sometimes. so i try to keep quiet about it until i cant take it anymore and i open my mouth.

how can you stay quiet when you love someone so much, though. i feel like i'm making a mess of things. but well, i know things will turn alright in the end. if i just keep as quiet about it as possible. my love will stay in this blog, this is what i made it for, after all. ill be ok. i gotta remember.

thank you everyone who's been kind and friendly to me. i never expected to find a community so open and accepting. ily all. ♡

[bitchimasnake-sss]

sfw alphabet ft. roronoa zoro! (because im down bad for him)

enough horniness, now we shall weep and cry cause of how much we love this moss head 🤭🤭

yes ur honor this is the man im in love with :/

💗affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?):

affection (in it's traditional sense) comes hard to zoro. he doesn't really know how to go about it to be very honest. to him affection is sarcasm and acts of services ("acts of service" include calling you mid in 5 languages (joke), making fun of your exercise form and the way you sometimes drool in your sleep, offering you sake etc.). but as time passes by and you both start getting more comfortable with each other, he gets on board with it. every time you both are spending time alone, he holds onto you one way or the other. don't expect him to call you sugarcakes or something because he won't but he will let you know before drifting off to sleep that you mean the world to him. i dont think hes a huge pda guy but if he's super drunk then he cannot possibly keep his hands off of you, its quite weird for the crew to see him so openly affectionate (cue sanji gagging).

💗best friend:

what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start? he's lowkey the bestest of best friends. he has the energy of "idk what you're doing but ig do it anyways cause i know how to fight" an opinion on everything but he doesn't have the time or energy to say anything (between his sleeping and training). doesn't mean he's any less nonchalant, no, he's just super opinionated for some reason. so, when you're sitting next to him on the deck on those late nights, asking him absurd questions, best believe he will deliver peak (nonchalant) commentary. especially after the two years when he's back from living with perona!!! HE IS A CERTIFIED FASHION KING. "zoro," you nudge him and he hums in response, "i was thinking of getting nami that silver bracelet for her birthday, should i?" "i mean i wouldn't give that debt collecting witch anything but-" he winces lightly when you punch him in the arm, "-but. i think silver will look look washed out against his complexion. gold seems better" "you think?"

💗cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?):

at the start, he thinks cuddles are lowkey dumb (and like he probably has gone years without them), so, he puts up this weird drama like "uh no i dont wanna do it" ofc he's lying. cause you're so soft and you smell so good and his hands are literally shaking trying not to hold you against him. after a while, he will unironically announce to you that he is the little spoon tonight and you need to suck it up. (lowkey gives the best cuddles because he literally envelopes you whole till you have to physically push him away) he wants to cuddle but you're DYING. YOU JUST KNOW YOU ARE. because this man is a heat radiating hot heating device heater. he is like a portable sauna. he needs to give you some space but he wont.

💗domestic (how are they at cooking and cleaning?):

cooking? cleaning? you should be grateful that he's showering everyday ever since you started dating him. he knows some basic cooking and cleaning skills (cause he did survive on his own for a good few years) but he doesn't know them in a socially acceptable manner. he just caught a fish, burnt it and ate it cause ✨proteins✨ okay? it's not like he does it on purpose, it's just that he's too focused on training and getting better and you have a chef so, he doesn't have to bother too much about it. but if you both were living together, then i think he will obviously learn them cause he doesn't want you to be the only responsible one cleaning after his messes. and he actually has kinda started liking cooking cause it's relaxing (he's also good at chopping up veggies and stuff so you both can cook together). the only part of cooking he hates is when sanji starts giving him tips cause like genuinely, sanji mind your own fucking business okay he'd learn pasta himself. tldr; the first time you teach him these things, he makes a mess and almost burns down your house but afterwards, you can rely on him to get the things done semi-nicely.

💗ending:

if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it? i think if zoro had to breakup with someone it will probably be over focusing on his dreams of being the best swordsman or if you cheated on him or broke his trust. i don't think he will pursue a relationship with someone if he didn't see it lasting, so, he won't break-up for petty reasons (nor do i think he will ever cheat). i also think he's a practical man. he won't try to sugarcoat or make you false promises. he sure as fuck won't tell you that you both can "still be friends" or some shit (i mean unless you're in the same crew then it kinda goes without saying). he'll probably ask you to come have a chat with him. sit you down and tell you directly and exactly why he is doing it. and he absolutely won't let you have any residual doubts if you "weren't enough" for him or so. just because he has to make this decision doesn't mean he doesn't love or respect you. so, even tho he won't ask you to be friends, if you ever need someone to rely on, he will be there for you. bottom line, he will still be a friend to you (though prepare to ignore each other for a long time after the breakup cause obviously it hurts and you might punch him)

💗fiance(e):

how do they feel about commitment? seeing as his character is super ride or die, he definitely doesn't have a problem recognizing how much you mean to him. but he is pretty emotionally constipated, so, he will take an eternity to actually accept how much you mean to him in a non-friendly manner. how quick would they want to get married? settling down??? no. he's not settling down. not until he's the best swordsman atleast. marriage is lowkey scary to him cause he didn't grow up with healthily functioning relationships to look upto but once he started dating you, he could see it potentially being a "forever" sort of a thing. he's probably not gonna say that out loud tho, thats a topic reserved only for wayward day-dreams or super drunken nights. so, as for the marriage thing he'd want to take his time. he would probably choose to achieve his own goals (and support you to reach yours) and then, think about settling down.

💗gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?):

physically: zoro is acutely aware of his super-human strength but it still comes as a shocker to him to see how fragile, almost dainty you are in compare to him. simple things like comparing hand sizes or how large his t-shirt looks on you when you wear it to sleep genuinely leave him awestruck (and slightly lovesick). so, he makes it his number one priority to always be gentle to you, as if he's scared that you're on the cusp of breaking. and he treats you as such always. (unless you ask with tear-lidden eyes and trembling lips how badly you want him to demolish you because then, maybe he is ready to comply) emotionally: like almost everything else, gentle words come hard to him at the start. all he has known is tough love. so, understanding that making fun of you when you're having your weekly breakdown was the wrong choice took him a while. he's not like emotionally stunted but he still doesn't trust his choice of words to comfort you. rather, he lets the way he holds you against him and pets your head when you sob against his chest do the talking. but if you go out of your way to teach him what he should probably say when you're sad then he might have some luck with it. until then, enjoy the cuddles.

💗hugs:

do they like hugs? after starting to date you, this man realized he loves hugs. and he loves giving hugs. but he's incredibly selective and thus far the only two (2) candidates have been allowed to pass through his tedious selection process. that being you and chopper (both of you are in a binding contract so you cant tell anyone about it either). well, luffy too if you count how clingy he can get 👍🏼 how often do they do it? he does hug you atleast once a day even if it as subtle as holding you from the back, resting his head on your shoulder. what are their hugs like? his hugs are genuinely bear hugs. okay. like he will engulf you and you will stand back and allow it to happen. he doesn't really hold on too long tho, so usually you gotta pull him back towards yourself and hug him tighter when you want it to last longer. pulling him towards yourself usually ends with him smiling and pressing a chaste kiss on your temple as his hands snake around you yet again.

💗"I love you" (how fast do they say the L-word?):

i think he says it fairly sooner than you anticipate. like however long you think he will take, it takes significantly lesser time. this is because (as i said), he probably spent a long time in denial and then in pining, so, naturally by the time you got together, he was sure of his feelings for you. anyways, one of my first fics on this blog was of how zoro probably said "i love you" to you when he was drunk and forgot about it when he woke up the next day. i still stand by that. i think it was a genuine, drunken confession but when you shyly confronted him about it, he just replied, "yeah, i meant that. i love you." his words were nonchalant but you could notice the dusted pink of his cheeks when he admits it and then his unsure gaze as he looks over your face and then the ground. (truth is, he only acted nonchalant. internally he is ready to jump off the ship incase you didn't say it back. thank god you said it back.)

💗jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?):

omg this man is simultaneously the most secure and the most jealous whore in this world. does he know you're not gonna cheat on him and ignore practically any man throwing himself on you? yeah, he knows that. but does he also want to cut off all those guys' heads if they even look at you? kinda, yes. i think he gets really shy to admit he's jealous. like he'd blame his irritable temper on the weather or the fact that he got less sleep last night. but you did notice how he clenched his jaw when a random guy in the market had been ogling you. and so, you tease him relentlessly. "zoro," you laugh, poking him in the chest accusingly, "are you sure? i think there might be something else going on" "like what?" he huffs, "i just got less sleep last night." "babe are you like jealous?" "no-" "you totally are" "stop saying that" "jealoussss" as to how does he deal with it? he fucks you. quick 'n easy. (im so sorry if youre a minor and reading this, in that case he pillow fights you to death.)

💗kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?):

what are their kisses like: after a long day, he always unwinds with you. so, his kisses are usually slow. he relishes in the way your lips feels against his, the way your cheeks feel like under his palm and the way you smile at him when you pull away. there's no haste because he has you right there and you both know you're not going anywhere. but on those nights he's pent up, anger and frustration strewn across his veins, he chooses to kiss you till he forgets just what he was angry about. his kiss-bitten lips are hot against yours, his hand roughly kneading your waist as he pours his anger into your desperate kisses. where does he like to kiss you: in public, his favourite spots are definitely your cheek or your temple as they are relatively tame pda tactics but still gets the point across. he gets to show his affection towards you without making a huge show for it. he also loves kissing on your shoulder as he rests his head on your shoulder and holds onto you. he can feel your pulse under his dull, soft kisses and heard your breathy hums and moans.

💗ittle ones (how are they around children?):

well, i hate kids. so, im gonna be biased. okay i don't hate kids but i hate toddlers. fucking devil spawns. i truly believe they will sacrifice us all for the beginning of the dark ages. anyways, zoro's not great with kids in theory. but somehow, when he interacts with kids he does end up somehow being a good (annoyed) dad figure (remember when he fathered three kids? cause i do)

💗mornings (how are mornings spent with them?):

morning with this green-haired ass start with you pushing his heavy arm off of you. you mumble that you're hot, trying to turn away from him and into the cool sheet. but it's no use because he just traps you against him yet again. zoro definitely doesn't give morning person vibes so i believe you are up before he is. you run you fingers softly against his scalp, bringing down your drumming fingers to his bare shoulders. you press an innocent kiss to his forehead and smile when he leans into your faint touches. when he finally wakes up, he looks up at you through sleepy eyes. he greets you with a tired "morning" before closing his eyes and draping himself you again. "zoro" you whisper half-heartedly, "everyone else is up, come on, we should get up too" he mumbles into your skin, "they weren't the ones keeping a watch last night, were they? come on, 10 more mins." "zo-" "please" he looks up at you, flashing you a soft smile, "10 mins." "10 mins only, okay? then we get up" (well, 10? more like 2 mins. luffy started yelling about breakfast and tried to eat before the food was served. and so, sanji (naturally) kicked him to near-death, so, you both had to wake up)

💗night (how are nights spent with them?):

walking out of the shower, you dry yourself off before cladding yourself in your pajamas. your limbs feel tired, body devoid of any and all energy as you climb into your bed to relax. sometimes you read, other times you just stare at the ceilings and think about stuff (we've all been there). zoro usually slips into the room silently, closing the door behind him. he plops down next to you and you curl up against him. sometimes, you both exchange small talk, if something fun happened while the other person wasn't around or gossip you heard from nami and ussop. but most days, you both simply enjoy the silence in each other's company till you're ready to fall asleep. every once in a while, he slips into the shower with you. (keeping this kids friendly) he gently washes your scalp and you rest your bare back against his chest as you ease yourself into the warm water. you return the favor by giving him a back massage. after this youre both so tired that you immediately pass the fuck out.

💗open:

when would they start revealing things about themselves: i feel like he'd know a lot about you before you find out anything important about him. he wears his loyalty and his dreams on his arms, but you don't find out why his dreams are so important or why he is so fidgety around tashigi until you're a good few days into dating. other small things about him are revealed to you thru his actions as he never mentions them, so, be prepared to be a persistent observer. do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly: he always reveals himself in little ways, never revealing too much. not because he doesn't trust you but because he's never had to talk about anything like this out loud. but anytime he does end up telling you something, it ends up being a heart to heart conversation. also, since he does get very drunk very often canonically, i don't think he's the type to slip up and tell things only cause he's not in the right headspace. so i imagine he only tells you things sober and in solitude, further cementing his trust in you.

💗patience (how easily angered are they?):

in moments of actual anger, as a swordsman, zoro is pretty good while handling his emotions. he knows how to differentiate between irrational feelings and actual solutions needed to get to the bottom of something. so, even when he gets mad he wouldn't necessarily act on it unless and until it is truly something that makes him tick. and things that make him tick includes people talking/doing something wrong to you or anyone in the crew, in that case he's going god mode. that being said, he will get easily irritated if someone is just joking around in the crew (especially sanji). he's incredibly patient with you tho, so, don't even worry about it and just accept him dumb antics for what they are.

💗quizzes:

 how much would they remember about you? i see yall sleeping on my man and i hate it. yes, hes kind of an idiot and not the best with memory but if it's anything about you or your relationship?? best believe he knows everything like the back of his hand. but he only claims that kind of power when it comes to you cause he will not really bother to remember other stuff if its not important. do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything? even though he wouldn't outright keep saying he remembers, he will often mention it in passing. like if you bring up someone while recounting a story to him, he will probably remember the last time you mentioned that guy. that being said, his memory is still kinda ass. so, he sometimes mixes things up if they aren't that relevant to the plot. so forgive him okay? hes trying

💗remember:

 what is their favorite moment in your relationship? i def feel like zoro prefers the mundane moments with you over any extravagant things. living on sea is insane, it's one thing after the other so knowing he has you to himself even for a few hours and in those hours, he gets to do nothing but love you truly means a lot to him. he isn't a cook by any means but this one time, when the rest of the crew had gotten off at a new island to restock and had only left you and him to keep guard, you had suggested you wanted to bake a cake. "i don't know how to cook" he mumbled softly, trying to convince you otherwise, "i can only do some cutting, slashing yk" "you dont even have to do anything!! just sit there and look pretty, i can do the baking." he eventually caved in. but now the memory of you making batter while he sat on the counter, talking to you is etched onto his every nerve. there had been a little bit of flour on your eyebrow and he used his thumb to clean it away before pulling you towards him and kissing you hard. you looked up at him, "i love you" "i love you too"

💗security:

how protective are they? i feel like zoro isn't as territorially protective as one would assume. like i said in the best friend section, he is more a laid-back "i know how to kill and get rid of the body, do whatever you want" kind of a vibe. that doesn't mean that he isn't gonna be on the verge of pulling out his swords the second someone even utters a word against you (but usually his dirty looks get the job done before he even pulls out the swords) how would they protect you? slash slash, stab stab and cocky remarks at the opponent (sometimes pure, unfiltered rage) how would they like to be protected? he's the roronoa zoro, he doesn't need physical protection. that being said, he wouldn't admit it out loud but just because he doesn't need you to pull out a gun to save him doesn't mean it doesn't give him pesky, little butterflies in his stomach whenever you defend him with your words. even if its something as small as calling out someone else's jokes that were targeted at him (and were just straight up offensive). or getting into actual verbal altercations (it happened once when you were drunk)

💗try: 

how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks? not a lot, tbh. look hes tired, you're tired, just cuddle and sleep okay? that being said he does put decent amount of efforts to surprise you every once in a while. he doesn't put on an extravagant show, so, mostly his surprises are just kinda lowkey and sweet. so on your anniversary, maybe he'd finally get the stick out of his ass and accept nami's idea of booking you a table somewhere expensive. but the memorable part isn't that, the memorable part is him asking (almost) shyly if you just wanna walk around town after dinner while he holds your hand and you bitch about your crew (in a loving manner).

💗ugly:

what would be some bad habits of theirs? omg obviously the drinking!!! i know he has high tolerance and shit but bro your liver's practically CRYING RN. please introduce yourself to some healthier coping mechanisms other than drinking and going stabby-stab. i also do think he's egoistic (it lessens with time) but its still a pain in the start

💗vanity:

 how concerned are they with their looks? this man does not give two fucks about his looks, like legit couldn't care less. he does know he looks decent tho (i mean casting mackenyu was a choice, i see you oda sensei). but ever since dating you, he has been putting in little efforts. i think partially cause you bully him into having a skincare routine and showering daily and partially cause he just wants to be a pretty boyfriend to his favourite girl.

💗whole: 

would they feel incomplete without you? yes and no. this is conflicting cause on one hand, ofcourse your absence will be equivalent to having daggers through his heart. but also, he seems like the guy who hyper-focuses on themselves after a breakup. i don't think he'd feel "incomplete" without you if you both ever broke up cause however dumb he is, he knows sometimes things don't work out and that's that. besides, even if you have to go, he still have people (the crew) to love and care for. but he would feel that glaring absence and it'll take a way heavier toll than anyone anticipated (cue him blasting heavy metal in his room and face-timing perona drunk and (almost) crying. perona suggested she takes care of you which made him actually cry cause perona dont be fucking mean)

💗xtra (a random headcanon for them):

zoro is so good at doing eye makeup specifically. i mean like because of all the sword-training and all, he has really good hand-eye coordination and very precise movements. so, like if you asked him to do your liner and give him specific-ish directions for how you want him to do it, he will 100% ace it. he doesn't really do well in other departments but he can learn (if you can make him learn thru that attitude of his) also, i theorize that he's ticklish but in the randomest fucking places. one time you lovingly ran your hand through his hair, bringing it playfully down to his nape and he fuckING GIGGLED?? another time you offered him a leg-massage cause he seemed to have pulled a muscle and you were working on his calf, trying to help him out and he yelped cause it tickled???? hello what do we do with this info now?

💗yuck:

what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner? he wouldn't like judgmental people or people who are very uptight (cause although his jokes could be hit/miss, he doesn't wanna hear a fucking lecture). also dont be disrespectful to him/his friends. and also, i think he would have a thing against people who are too nosy (pre-dating mostly), like if he wanted to tell you something he would other than those basic things, he's chill.

💗zzz:

he's asleep before you can say "good night" because he's a simple man who needs to sleep 10 hours a day (minimum) see he isn't going off ruining lives, he's not fucking things up for someone else, he's just taking a nap. its like the least horrible thing he can do, let him nap. i do think he should get checked for some vitamin deficiency tho caue uh, just in case. that being said, you go to sleep now. i would too. goodnight!

a/n: loved making this so much that i might make one for literally every character ever once i get the time lol

[skullvgirl]

acting like they forgot yall had plans together

incl ;; isagi, bachira, barou, kunigami, shidou

warnings ;; fem reader

an's ;; was gonna make this a samu version but I got lazy uh, here hc's

isagi

you text him on friday, a day before your supposed plans and let me tell you he's freaking OUT. he doesn't want to tell you he forgot, and now your asking him what to wear and man could it get any worse?

apparently it could because now your asking him who he should bring and telling him how excited you are and much you've been lookikg forward to it.

he feel like the worst boyfriend on earth and is wondering if he should ask one of the friends that your bringing ( apparently ) and so he devises a plan.

"YN, you said you were bringing [ Friends Name ] Right?" And you can't help but continue the joke and accusingly say, "What?! No, was that supposed to be some sort of joke?"

Now, he feels like shit for even suggesting and is also concerned about what [ Friends Name ] did. He couldn't have forgot that too could he?

"Y-yeah, no I just...yeah."

You burst out laughing and he realizes this is probably another one of your "ticktack trends"

You hold his face softly, "Oh poor baby, it was just a joke we dont have any plans."

His face is hot and he moves your hands away to go pout on the couch. "Stop doing that..you were scaring me..."

"Aw was I? Don't worry, It was fun watching you question your sanity."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better..."

bachira

"We had plans!?" Immediately, without a second thought. And you can't contain your laughter, his hands wete placed comically on the sides of his head, his mouth wide open from shock and confusion.

"Dude, no."

"Oh thank God." He places a hand over his heart.

"Really? You werent even gonna try and play along? What if it was for real and I got mad"

He paused for a moment, thinking over the idea seriously.

"I guess you could put me in NTT for a bit maybe.." he side eyed you breasts and now you were even more confused.

"NTT?"

"No titty timeout"

You burst out laughing and Bachira couldn't help but grin at your reaction. He loved making you laugh.

"Sure, I guess I could. Probably make sure you'd remember next time huh?"

"100% !"

barou

"no we don't. now sit down, I wanna feel my girlfriend."

You roll your eyes and didn't bother fighting his party pooping attitude. You sat down and cuddled up next to his warm body.

"How do you know, you could have forgot..."

"It's not marked on my calendar, and even if it wasn't I'd never forget"

You glanced at the calendar, everything Barou needed to do in the future was meticulously marked on that damned stupid calender.

Should've wrote a fake date there...

"Who do you take me for seriously? Even if you wrote a fake date I would've known."

Oop! Did you say that out loud? No, it was just Barou and his stupidly good sense of you. Weirdo.

"Ugh, you suck, lets just watch" You were frowning but snuggles closer too him.

"Says the one latched to my chest..."

"Shhhh, the show..."

kunigami

He knows you guys don't actually have plans but he plays along anyways. "Uh huh, and did you still wanna go at 6?"

Somehow gaslights you into thinking that you forgot yall had plans. But you should've known otherwise from the way he was smiling. A cheshire grin spread across his face agreeing with everything you say in full confidence, untill finally you break.

"Im lying! We don't have plans, also a Mega Hotel? What are you talking about?"

He's laughing in your face and your cheeks light up.

"Hey! Get your own joke meanie!"

shidou

"deadass?"

you continue playing the act. "yes? you didn't forget did you?"

"say you swear." he's done a full 180° too see you now, staring incredulously into your eyes, waiting for a response.

"I swear—why would I be lying?"

"No way.." he holds his hands on his head. "No fucking way..." he was breathless, like it was impossible for him to believe what you were saying was true.

"YN, I'm gonna be so serious. I think i must be high, cause I cannot remember a single discussion of planning anything right now."

"Really dude?" You asked, unimpressed. He cocked his head adorably. "It was a joke.

"Oh shit, thank God. I thought I was a goner." he turns back around, relief filling his voice.

"Seriously? What if it wasn't a joke?"

"You'd forgive me"

You gaped at his answer, "And what makes you sure of that?" you asked sassily.

"You love me." he said confidently.

"I do, what's your point?"

"You love me, that is the point." He said, nodding his head sure of himself.

"Right..."

an's ;; guys, i think tumblr is deleting my rq's wtf 🤒

[ivysprophecy]

slim pickins

warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing

no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

word count; 1911

summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.

thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.

they are all taken. its plain and simple.

which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.

i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.

and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.

needless to say pope had to drag her away.

after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.

"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.

"im good with whatever"

i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.

"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.

"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.

i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.

he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.

he walks so slow for being 6'3.

and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again

"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.

"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.

"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."

"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.

jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"

and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.

"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.

jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.

but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.

"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.

"in your dreams honey."

"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.

now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.

watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.

random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.

unless theyre with jj.

but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.

is that a bit dramatic? probably.

i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.

so of course im not going to date him, why would i?

what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!

"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."

"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.

he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."

curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.

when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.

he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'

"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face

i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"

"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."

"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."

"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."

"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."

he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"

"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."

we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.

"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."

"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"

"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."

"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."

"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.

just like it does every other time.

i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.

jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.

"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"

john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"

oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"

jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.

"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"

"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.

"are you gonna put me down now?"

he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.

"youre a pervert."

"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"

oh im gonna kill him...

oh wait! im gonna kill him!

"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.

he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."

i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.

"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."

it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.

its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.

i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"

and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.

"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.

just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.

"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."

"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.

am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.

but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.

[luvyeni]

hi hi hi, could i request an innie smut? you know how innie isn’t very touchy? so maybe he one day is talking about it with the guys & his girl and he brings up how his gf isn’t touchy either, but she shyly mentions that she is, and her love language is physical touch, the other guys confirm it and he gets kind of upset bc she’s never been like that with him, so he shows her she doesn’t have to hold back and he wants the attention from her and for her not to give it to anyone else

sorry it’s so long, & i rambled a bit, but my innie brainrot is going crazy lately

DON'T MIND; YANG JEONGIN

pairings. boyfriend!jeongin x fem!reader

wc. 1.4k

warnings. vanilla sex , unprotected sex, oral (f. recieving), clit play

i hope you like it <3

jeongin wants all your attention

—

jeongin sighed for the third time as changbin pulled him into a bone crushing hug. "hyung." he squirmed , trying to break himself free from his elder. "hyung get off of me." he groaned , he wasn't really into physical touch , but his members never really seemed to care , constantly hugging him , or pinching his cheek. "hyung get off." he finally gave the man one last push , grunting as changbin finally let him go.

"yah! im just trying to give you love." the buff man yelled pouting like a small child. "i hate it." he groaned , you shook your head , you knew your boyfriend wasn't a fan of skinship , that's why you never really did it , the occasional kiss on the cheek to catch him off guard or jeongin tapping on your knee while he drove. you actually really loved physical touch , it was your love language , but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"y/n i don't know how you do it." han said. "how do you live through the day , knowing your boyfriend hates skinship." han said. "must be lonely." chan slapped the boy's arm. "what are you talking about , she hates skinship , she probably hates it more than i do." that definitely wasn't true, you often craved to be touched by your boyfriend , not even all the time , just a cuddle here and there. "you're joking." seungmin said. "seungmin drop it." you said , but he didn't hear you (or maybe he was ignoring you) .

"you girlfriend is probably more touchy than felix." jeongin turned to you , you looked away , hoping he didn't question it. "you don't like skinship , do you." you bit your lip , shyly nodding your head. "actually i really love physical touch , it's my love language." he was shocked , you've never initiated it , you hardly ever touched him. "why haven't you said anything?" you shrugged.

"you mean to tell me you've never seen felix and her hugging , you would've thought they were dating." felix's ears turned red. "d-dont say it like that , i would never do that to him." he spoke up. "yeah , we're just friends , innie i know you don't like it , i don't want to make you uncomfortable." you said. "please don't be upset." you put your hand on his knee. he nodded , but it still stayed on his mind.

he watched you for the rest of the time , and it was surprised. you actually were pretty touchy , hugging felix for a little too long , squeezing changbins biceps , leaning your head on chans shoulders , he was actually getting pretty annoyed with how close you were. "hey baby , don't you think we should head out." he called out. "oh , yeah sure , i have work in the morning anyway." you got up , he handed you your jacket , grabbing your hand , interlocking hands , something you guys never did. "we'll be going." he spoke up. "bye everyone!" you waved , before you two exited the dorm.

the ride home was silent , but you could tell something was on his mind , was he really upset about the physical touch thing? "innie?" you called , he hummed , his eyes still facing the road as he turned into your apartment complex. "are you upset with me." he didn't say anything , but it gave you a conformation.

you guys got out of the car , taking the elevator up to your apartment. he silence was starting to worry you , you didn't want it to turn into something big. you both stepped into the apartment , making your way to the room. you began to take off your clothes , getting ready for the evening. "i'm not upset with you." he finally spoke up. "you aren't." he shook his head , coming up behind you. "no , just a bit upset that you felt like you couldn't tell me that you like physical touch." he wrapped his arms around your half bare body. "i didn't want you to be uncomfortable." you sighed as he kiss your neck.

"baby i don't care if it's you." he whispered. "i want you." he turned you around pulling you into a kiss , grabbing your thighs , signaling you to jump. he carried you to the bed , dropping you down , climbing on top of you. "don't give others attention." he kissed down your stomach , you whined as he got to your pantie line. "innie please do something."

he removed your panties , kissing your clit. "don't hold back , give me everything you got." he brought his mouth to your clit , sucking on it. "fu-fuck." your hands flew up to his hands , he hardly ever went down on you , but when he did , he knew what he was doing. "you feel so good." you moaned , your fingers tied up in his hair , tugging at it. "fuck , fuck innie , im gonna cum." just as you felt your orgasm approaching , he pulled away, with a tap of your clit.

"why." you whined , he just smiled , coming up to kiss your lips again. "because i want you to look at me when you cum on my cock." pulled his cock out from his underwear , rubbing up and down your slit. "fuck princsss , you pretty pussy is all messy." he smirked , pressing his tip against your hole. "please , please put it in." you reached for him , desperate for his touch. he pushed into your needy cunt , his cock stretching you out.

"mhm , you feel so good." you moaned. "i'm glad you feel good baby." he grunted , rocking his hips back and forth into you. "i dont want you giving anyone else more attention." he grunted. "i want it all the time." he rubbed figure eights on your clit. "you understand me baby?" you nodded , gripping the sheets. "yes fuck ! yes i understand." your orgasm coming up on you , you just needed that final push , which he quickly found , his cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly.

"oh my~ m'gonna cum." you screamed. he grabbed your jaw , forcing you to look at him. "look at me when you cum." he commanded. "go a head , cum for me." he gave you one particular thrust, that had you seeing stars as you came around him , creaming his cock. "sh-shit , im gonna cum too , where do you want it , you want it inside." you hummed, to fucked out to speaked. "good girl , take my cum for me." he grunted one last time , his warm seed filling you up , he cursed, stilling his hips his cock growing soft inside you.

he didn't even bother to pull out , just positioning his body so you both would be comfortable. "you're not going to pull out." he shook his head. "no , i want to feel you for a little longer." you laughed. "jeongin , you don't have to do this." he shut you up with a kiss.

"i told you , i don't mind if it's you , i want all your attention , give it all to me."

©️LUVYENI

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for flirting with my online friend 🌐❓

i (20s, trans man) have been getting closer to my online friend (same as me). we were mutuals for a while in what i can best describe as an online writing community but only started actually talking last year when i approached him to do a project together. we've been pretty strictly platonic for the last year but this year it's ramped up a bit (in part i think due to greater proximity)- we make a lot of sexual jokes at each other. now that's not necessarily a big deal because we do it at other male (and not male in his case) friends of ours, its just sort of how our circle interacts with each other, but it's a bit different for me because i do actually have somewhat of a crush on him. i'm not super sure of how he feels towards me, but i do think he knows at least partially how i feel and is at least humouring our banter.

now here's where i feel like an asshole. i have no intention of dating him at all- even if he does like me back, the reality is that we live on two entirely separate continents and neither of us have the financial means to go see each other. now you could suggest we date long distance or online but i've done that like 4 different times now with 4 different people and i just know it doesn't work for me, for a variety of reasons i won't get into. just trust me when i say it would end poorly. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes (nor do i want to be, bar one) and my friend is important enough to me that if we ended up like that then i'd be really upset about it. usually when i break up with someone or am broken up with i'm left with a lot of resentment and bitterness. plus our writing project would be tanked, which i'm not willing to jeopardise because i think it's excellent, he's a great partner.

in addition to that i'm only a few months out of a pretty rough breakup with someone i also had viewed as a close friend (irl, not online). i'm not conflating them here, because they aren't alike whatsoever, but i worry that im using my friend as an emotional rebound to cope with what my ex did to me, even if he doesn't know it. i don't want my ex back and i am honestly still feeling a lot of anger towards him, so it's been nice putting my attention and libido elsewhere. however i know how shitty it feels to be someone else's rebound guy and would hate to do that to my friend. plus i could be stunting my own healing progress?? idk

it initially was just a bit of fun but i've had to privately and seriously talk myself down from getting jealous as fuck when my friend has had other people jokingly (or not jokingly, who knows) flirt with him. i'm a pretty intense person (hi, bpd) so i've been trying to reign myself back and keep things chill and funny between us but i'm getting kind of concerned whether i should stop entirely so my feelings go away or if im fine enjoying giving and being given attention in return, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. even just liking him is kind of breaking three of the rules i'd set for myself after my last few relationship disasters (no more online stuff, no more white boys, let my brain cool down and dont be interested in anyone for at least a year) so i kind of just don't know where i should be taking this if anywhere

[ddejavvu]

ANOTHER JAMES POTTER THOUGHT LMAOOO. k. so. hear me out. fake dating!James potter. sirius brings it up, the idea of you and James fake dating, cus youre all nervous about going to a family event cus it'll just be more comments about your lack of love life constantly. so sirius mentions that maybe you should just bring someone and say that theyre ur bf; it'd be easier AND you wouldnt be alone, muddling your way through awkward social conversations and such. remus, surprisingly, agrees with sirius when you laugh at the idea. ever the empath, he softly explains how it could be a great idea for you, and it'd solve a few issues at the same time. James doesnt really say anything till sirius suggests you bring him as your fake boyfriend, and James is immediately lighting up like "im your boyfriend??? yeah??" and he just.. cannot be told, no matter how many times you stress that he'd be a fake boyfriend, he just repeats that hes your boyfriiiieeeennnddd though. plain and simple.

he definitely takes his role seriously. makes excuses like, "we have to practice kissing, id kiss you ALOT as your boyfriend, yknow. and I dont want you to freeze up if I kiss you for the first time and you dont know how to react. we MUST practice." also holdsur hand all the time now and hes shameless about it - "but lovely, im ur boyfriend im meant to hold ur hand, cmonnn". even gets jealous like a real boyfriend would now (not that he didn't before, but now he lets it show).

at the event, also has a habit of stealing you away and keeping up the boyfriend role, im saying he lays it on THICK, doesnt matter if no one else can see it or is paying attention. im talking touchy, he probably nuzzles his face down into yours alot,constant love sick expression on his face. its gets so bad that even ur brother is like "wow, didn't realise youd get an actual boyfriend. like, what blackmail do u have on him?? did you finally submit to the devil and curse him or smthn cus Jesus fucking christ sis look at him, hes mooning over you from across the room. seems like an alright bloke though. maybe."

can imagine that hes touchy and sweet and etcetcetc but also. after ur little event is done, he stops joking and pretending, bends down to you and "so can I be your boyfriend now. pleeeaase?? ur auntie even said that I must be a lovely young man.. you think im a lovely young man too, right? so I can be ur boyfriend?? ]: please?"

FAKE DATING JAMES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE he'd want to 'sell it' just like you mentioned, and he'd plan these insane grandiose gestures that have you melting for real and then you sneak off to a private area and he's giggling like they totally bought it!! and ur weak in the knees like yEah they did!!

you stress so many times to him that he's your fake boyfriend. fake. FAKE. but he absolutely refuses to say that, he calls it method acting. he's gotta get in character, he can't tell himself it's fake all the time or it'll seem fake!

no bc even before you get to your parents house he's like okay so let's practice our kisses. we're gonna need casual cheek kisses, the 'i-don't-want-to-make-a-scene kiss', the 'we-think-we're-alone' kiss, the forehead kiss, the hand kiss, the air kiss- and he's rambling on about all the ways he's gonna smooch you up and your cheeks are on fire.

the days leading up to the event he does practice! whenever you walk out of a room he grabs your hand and tugs you down to kiss your cheek, he makes you kiss him goodnight every night before bed, he even insists that you give it all you've got when no one else is around so that you get comfortable being passionate with him.

he greets your mom like the perfect gentleman, bringing her a bouquet and offering to help with dinner. but when she politely declines the help he sits on the floor at your feet while you're on the couch, spreads ur knees so that he can sit between your calves, and hangs out with the kiddos on the floor. he's their big jungle gym, constantly has children crawling all over him, and they definitely ask him scandalized questions like 'you KISS her?!?!?!' and then he gets this big shit-eating grin on his face and leans up to lay a big fat wet juicy smooch on your lips and they all chorus 'ewww!' and run off to giggle about it somewhere else. it leaves james with no more playmates, so he hoists himself up onto the couch and wraps an arm around you, proceeding to be sickeningly sweet and domestic and cute. definitely a nuzzler, ur so right <33333

YES THE TEASING FROM EVERYONE ELSE SKGNG ur grandma is like 'i'm glad you found a good man before i die' and ur auntie is like 'does he have an older brother??' everyone is enamored by this loverboy you've brought home, and he plays the part so well that no one ever realizes it was fake.

which is good, because it isn't for long. he definitely begs for you to give him a chance at being your real boyfriend, but you don't bother even giving him the chance, you just tell him you already know he'll be a fantastic real boyfriend because he went so above and beyond when it was only supposed to be fake :') ur so far gone for him and it's the best night of his life, i guarantee it :')

[valscodblog]

ℙ𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕆𝕃𝔸 -Part two

Warnings: Mentions of death (obvi-it's call of duty y'all.), in-depth past explanation, OC being forced to take up a role she never wanted, very very very VERY slight mentions of sexual themes (like-one or two sentences), trust issues at it's finest, and that's around it.

Alejandro Vargas x OC

Credits to OC: ME MYSELF AND IIIIIII~~ (Uhm-anyways-)

[{TAGS! <3 : @seconds-over-first @thebunnednun @writing-with-moss }]

Alejandro felt like he had been shot through the heart. "I-What have I ever done to you, to make you reluctant to trust me, Linda?" Maria shook her head, "It's-It's not you, Alejandro...it's just-personal." Alejandro nodded. "I understand. Yo Entiendo." Maria gave him a soft smile-she smiled!-and then walked away. Alejandro nearly died right then. Rodolfo smirked at put a hand on Alejandro's shoulder. " Su maldito desesperado, coronel," Rudy joked, and his higher-up sighed. "Yo se, Rudy...Pero...." "Pero Nada, Amigo. You love her. That's it." "Not so loud, Pendejo!" "We're mexican! We're loud!" "Parra!" "Okay, okay! Don't kill me, Alejandro!" "Mhhh, i should...I really should. But-alas, I can't."

"Say-Pistola, why do they call ye tha', aye?" "Because." "It means Poistol, doon'it?" Soap asked, "So that means-ye must be handy wit one!" Maria groaned and rubbed her face. "If i say yes, will you shut up?" "Nay, prolly not, bonnie." "Don't call me bonnie-" "Bonnie, bon-bon, bonnibell, bonnie-boo," Soap teased, and Maria looked over to Alejandro and mouthed, "Im going to kill you, Pendejo." He just laughed. Maria looked back over to Ghost and Soap-who were...flirting? Talking? How could you tell, honestly? "...Are you two...Novios?" "Huh?" Ghost said, quirking a brow up, "I asked if you two are dating, Fantasma." Ghost shook his head. "No-why would we be?" He snorted, and Soap laughed. "Okay...Although, I hope you two know, that I will be teasing you now." "Aboot...?" "Dating. Because y'all act like a married couple."

"Hey-quick question-why'd'ye sound like yer from Texas or sum?" Ghost asked, and Maria gave him a deadpan stare. "...The border? I live on the fuckin' Boarder?" Maria said, quirking a brow of her own up. Ghost then put his brow back down and then raised both of them this time, "Ah..." what was he supposed to say after a lady just told you that and clearly wasn't liking you? "So-You grew up knowing how to fight, Alejandro says." "Yeah. I did..." Ghost sighed.

"Well-" "If your trying to flirt with me, i suggest you learn a few new pick up lines other than whatever the fuck your on, Ghost." Simon blinked. "Love, i assure you, I'm not takin' a shinin' t'ya." "Good. Because I'm not on the market." "Oh?" Well, she's interesting...Simon sorta was starting to like her. "So..." "So?" "...What's anotha way to say "I came inside of a woman," Pistola?" "...What?" "Loadin' tha dishwasha." And Pistola nearly laughed, but she caught herself and just choose to quirk a brow up and shut her eyes. "Funny." and Ghost smiled behind his mask-but not a nice one, oh no. An annoyed one.

"Hmm, your not laughin' though?" "Yeah-lost my ability to year ago." "Ooh...damn, thats gotta suck f'ya, Lovie." "Oh yeah, it does."

And Alejandro looked over to Maria and frowned. "Here we go..." he muttered to Rudy. Rudy shook his head before saying, "She's not a litle kid, Amigo. She can flirt if she wants-" "Not with that gringo!" "Alejandro!" "....Mhhhph, I just don't like how she won't even look at me half the time i talk to her-but this, this guy! He just shows up and it's all 'Ohh let me stare at him-let me make eye contact!' Like, Pendeja! Por favor, why do you treat him like an old friend, huh?"

and Rudy leaned into Alejandro, arm on shoulder, and said, "Jelous, Ale?" "No-why?" "...Pinche mentiroso..." "No soy!" "Si tu eres! You ranting like-" "Dont." "Si, senor..." Alejandro went back to looking at Maria, whom was still talking to ghost and Soap. He hummed again before saying, "Alright, maybe i am...just a little. Un Puco." Rudy grinned. "First step's admitting it, Alejandro." "Yo se..."

"Right-so...what do I say, Alejandro?" Maria mumbled, more to herself than anything, really. BUt the man caught it and said, "You introduce yourself, tell them your New rank, Maria, and tell them you'll be leading this squad. Okay, mi amor?" "Not your love." And Alejandro sighed softly. "You know how i mean it, Maria...right?" "Claro que si. I just-don't. Just don't, okay?" "Claro, Maria." "Grasias, Ale-" "Maria! Here you are, thought we lost ya!" "Juan Price." "Erm-it's John." "Oh, so sorry, I'm Mexican, Sir." "It's fine, it's fine." "John Price! Ey, one capitan, to another, this is the easy part." "True..."

Alejandro quirked a brow up. "You two, know each other?" "We've met, yes. Back in, what was it?" "Ahh, good ol' Brittan-the country side, right?" "Indeed," Price agreed, smiling. "By the way! How's it coming along for you?" Maria asked, Price sighed and shook his head. "Hassan's still causing problems, so what does that tell you?" "Horrid." "Worse than." "Oof, i feel for you, John." "So, when-"

"Maria, it's time," Alejandro said into her ear and she said, "Fine fine...Sorry John we'll have to catch up later. I have to meet new squad." "Steaming Jesus-right before a mission?" "It's my family curse-we're alwasy last minuet and the people around us are affected too." "Well-i'll let you go before i get affected, huh?" "Hmph, yeah, see you, Price." and Maria walked away. Alejandro stayed behind and said, "That scoff? That's her laugh...consider yourself a trusted allay to Los Vaqueros now, Price." and he clapped John on the shoulder, shook it, and then let go and jogged to catch up to Maria.

Rodolfo was there, already telling the squad a new Captain was to command them and the rest of Maria's new squad just tensed. A new Captain? Oh, Jesus, that was never good...the last one was dead, sure, but this new one? They would have to learn how to read and how to act around this new person.

Or so they thought. It was just Maria.

"Oh! The Corp finally moved up, huh?" Private Diaz asked, and Maria sighed, "Here we go..."

"WHy now, out of all times?"

"HOW DID SHE GET TO MAKE THAT BIG OF A MOVE?"

"Wow...she really just left us in the dust, sucking off Alejandro must help a fair ton."

"For real. Prolly added in a few extra rounds to ensure her new place too."

Alejandro quirked a brow up and was about to say something when Maria shouted, "IF YOU LOVE YOUR MOM'S, SHUT IT!" and everyone shut up-minus one rookie who thought she was joking around.

BANG!

"Any? Body? Else?" Maria asked, her single hand still holding her pistol sideways. The person who spoke had been shot in the leg. "No? Good...now, rule one, i ever hear you talking behind my back again, you'll end up worse than that boy there, okay? Bueno. Dos, listen to rule one." Everyone nodded.

"Maria-that wasn't legal." "And what are you going to say, huh? Nada because if you report me, you'll be asked why you didn't step in." and Rudy shut up. "Damn-she's better than I thought at this," Alejandro said, smiling proudly.

"Well...let's get this mission over with and the lines drawn, yeah?" Maria muttered, Alejandro nodded...but as he started to explain, Maria started to zone out, she didn't feel safe, and this is how she dealt with that feeling.

"Ma? ...Mama? M-...MAMA?" Maria shouted, running into her mother's room as she heard what sounded like fighting. "Mami-mami!" her little brother screamed-in pain. "Eres igual que tu papá, chico..."

"MAMA-ALTO! Whatever he did-"

"No hablo ingles a Me, nina..."

Maria just stared at her mother-not hearing anything but the high pitched ringing in her ears. She had to run-hide. After she was done with her brother-she was next. and in for worse. Maria did run-into the room. She grabbed her four year old brother and then, as fast as her legs could carry the both of them, she ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She ran to the front door, and tried to open it-locked. She unlocked it but her brother wouldn't stop fighting her movements. "You'll just make it worse, Hermana! Stop-please!" "Shhh, dont speak English, Nino! Why do you think your being beat!?" and her brother shut up and chose just to sob into her shoulder. "Poor thing...if only Dad-"

"Tu padre ya no está aquí, no estará por mucho tiempo… Ya tendré tiempo…Es hora de pensar en una mentira… Es hora de hacer que parezca un accidente..."

No-Nononono-She heard the trigger of a gun and then she heard the recoil. It didn't hit her, however. "...Alex?" "Ma...Ri...A..." was his last word and Maria snapped. Thirteen, and she snapped. She dropped her little brother and charged at the drunken woman. Her mother was skinny-she wasn't. She had been working out for the last three years in secret. She threw a punch to her mother and her mom took it harshly. She toppled over, dropping the gun. It would've been funny to Maria if she wasn't so far gone in the moment. Maria then picked up the gun and said, "I'll talk how i want-and just so you know, Dad will know...and then he'll see to it that you get what you deserve..."

"Live, Pendeja...Live knowing I only let you becuase your husband and the god you so claim to love will punish you. They'll punish you so harshly-so badly...that you wish that i killed you-that one day, when we meet again, you will Beg Me to kill you...understand me? And know, that I no longer am a fucking Rodriguez, but instead, a Sanchez-como me Papa!" Maria said, sounding ever so calmly. She then laid the gun down on her mother's chest, and left the house.

She never went back. She found her uncle, and asked to stay with him instead, and her uncle, the evil bastard said yes. So she lived with him and was trained by him for War.

"Maria-MARIA SANCHEZ! Are you listening to a word that Alejandro just said to you?" Maria blinked and muttered, "Que?" Rodolfo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Alejandro-get your damn girlfriend." Alejandro, who had been talking to one of the rookies, looked over and said, "No eres mi novia, Rudy...solo una amiga importante." And Maria groaned, "Shut it, Alejandro."

Maria walked away and muttered, "I have to stop zoning out..." Alejandro jogged after her-again. "Alejandro-" "I know what your going to say, so just don't! Instead, Escuchame!" Maria nodded, but kept walking. "So...Maria...do you, uhhm..Wanna go get something to eat after this?" Maria stopped dead. "You asking me out, Alejandro?" Alejandro sighed, "Not like-romanticly or anything! Just-you know, a couple of friends going out to eat." Maria laughed softly and said, "You know, I don't trust that...just us two-and i've never seen you outside of work...i don't know you-and you don't know me, Ale."

"I know-pero-i wanna take you out, okay? Tu eres muy linda, bonita, ermosa, and not to seem like im kissing your ass or anything but-" "Vargas. Your already kissing my ass." "Oh, shhh! Let a man talk to you for once, Maria!" Maria laughed again before nodding. "Sure, Vargas. Talk." "Grasias! Dios mio...okay, where was I?" "Oh so this was rehersed?" "In the mirror to myself." "Alejandro Vargas!" "What? Im telling you the truth!"

"Oh my god, fine! I'll go out with you-but no where cheap! Make an impression if you want this chica to stay around. Dont ask or tell me where, just take me. Okay?" and she winked.

Alejandro felt like he had been shot through the heart again-but this time...by cupid's bow.

[cakkeheavenly999]

Homegirl

yuji itadori x fem!reader wc: 1693 tags: weed sex/yuji calls you baby not beta read!

yuji is the type of guy who grows feelings for his girl best friend. i wanna kiss him so bad...

your toes curled in your fluffy socks as you sat beside yuji on his living room couch. well, his older brothers living room couch. you had been so busy with college you didnt have time for your best friend; until now. it was finally spring break, and you were finally back in your hometown. of course you were staying with your parents for the week since they wanted to see you, but they werent the only people you came back for.

when you told yuji you were back, he blew up your phone with excited texts and begged to facetime you. of course you agreed. you talked with him all night and woke up laughing together when you realized you fell asleep on the phone with one another. 

no one was closer to you than your homeboy yuji itadori. 

when you were free that evening, he invited you over to smoke. of course you said yes. you told your parents you were going to see yuji and jumped on your old bike, riding down to his place with a bag of weed in your back pocket, and a lighter in the front of your denim shorts. yuji lived in the big house two blocks ahead of yours. it was impossible to miss and the two of you always loved doing everything together. its funny how things worked out that way. 

you jumped off your bike, throwing it in his front yard as you ran up to his front door. he beat you to it. with a big shimmering smile, he wrapped you up in a tight hug and pulled you into his house. the sun was starting to set, and the smoke session was about to begin.

choso was nice enough to let you and yuji smoke in the house instead of sending you to the porch. as long as you didnt burn anything down. “its been so long since we smoked together, im sorry i only have cruddy weed.” you apologized while eyeing your crumbs of cheap weed nobara had slid you. 

an exchange for you being so kind as to drop her off at a sneaky link. the room was lit via the tv and a small table lamp on the side of you, making your contribution even more pathetic. “you know i would never ask you to bring weed. and this is all my brothers anyway.” he snickered as he emptied the shredded tobacco from the cigar wrap into a little, black grocery bag. “sukunas? he wont be mad?” you asked with worry as yuji rolled his eyes. “he stole my favorite red nike dunks. so im stealing some of his weed.” he frowned as he got into the much larger bag of weed to break up a few nugs. 

“be the bigger person.” you joked and gently nudged his thigh with your foot before your eyes returned to the tv. the two of you had put on an anime to watch, but neither of you were actually paying attention to it. just some background noise for the smoke sesh. with the blunt now rolled (and pearled) yuji scrambled for a lighter among the snacks and bottles of water. “here,” you pulled one out of the front pocket of your jean shorts. “dont lose it.” you smiled at him as he took your lighter. your fingers brushed his but you thought nothing of it.

you were yujis homegirl. and of course he was your homeboy. people always assumed you were dating, but that wasnt the case. you did have some unsavory thoughts about yuji from time to time, but he was your friend before he was an object of your desire. the blunt was passed to you and the ceramic ashtray was moved to the center for the both of you to share. 

the weed was superb. sukuna really was the greatest plug. making yuji the greatest plug via association. your eyes were starting to feel heavy as you leaned against yuji with the brown blunt becoming shorter and shorter. “should we roll another? use the weed i brought.” you offered him the blunt and he hummed in deep thought. you could see the shine of his thin gold chain dangling around his neck from the tvs glow. it pulled you in closer until yuji was holding the blunt, looking down at your hand resting on his thigh. 

“you okay?” yuji asked lazily as his body sank back against the velvet couch. you nodded, your hand still as you gave his muscled leg a small squeeze. his breath hitched softly as you moved in even closer. “whatre you doin?” he mumbled as the blunt hung from his lips. his eyes on you. “nothin.” you whispered as you eyed his crotch through his black basketball shorts. you were sitting on your knees now, your heart pounding in your chest until yuji grabbed you by the shoulder and pushed you away. his cheeks were red and he was frowning.

“you dont have to do that.” yuji didnt sound angry with you. just anxious. “i want to though…” you trailed off with a weak frown, watching yuji put the blunt in the ashtray. “lets do somethin for you too.” the offer was quiet, the tv casting you both in a colorful glow as your pink haired best friend inched closer on the couch.

your lips met. soft and welcoming. you knew in that moment that this was something you both wanted. your tongues met with each messy kiss, drool coating your chin as yuji made his way on top of you. your back was digging into the arm of the couch now. your heart racing as your arms wrapped around him with a whine leaving your lips as he pulled away and moved lower.  

“wheres choso?” you panted as yuji sucked and kissed along your jugular, lightly and cautiously. “sleep upstairs.” you pulled at the back of his shirt, stifling another whine. “sukuna?” you worried about him the most. “his babymama house.”yuji mumbled against your skin as his warm hands slipped under your shirt, pulling at the front clasp of your bra as he sucked and licked at your throat.

you wanted him to leave marks. more soft sounds passed your lips as yuji pulled away and bunched your shirt over your chest. your nipples hardened once they were exposed to the cool air of the room. he looked down at you, contemplating his next move as you pulled your hands away and tugged at his shirt. he took your silent request and pulled the article of clothing over his head and haphazardly dropped it to the floor. his chest was exposed, and he dove in for another round of kisses as his large palms massaged your breasts. you were like dough in his hands. moldable and pliable for him to enjoy. it was like one of many fantasies you silently wished would come true.

his hands moved to your jean shorts, pulling at the button and zipper as he kept your moaning lips distracted with his. the denim was being yanked down your hips with your panties bunched in the fabric. they dangled off of your ankle as his hands moved between your thighs. his thumb rubbed at your clit. his fingers pumped in and out of you carefully crooking upwards. swallowing your yelps and cries as you trembled beneath him with nothing short of delight. when the sound of shuffling clothing returned you felt the pooling heat in your stomach leave a dull burn as his fingers pulled away. 

you needed yuji inside of you. his cock rested against the meaty petals of your pussy, the tip of his cock meekly greeted your clit with a few light, affectionate rubs. “can i?” he whispered, his voice airy. needy. just as needy as you. you gave him a lazy nod for a response, your body tensing when his strong arms lifted your hips into his lap, leaving you bent as he sank his thick, throbbing cock into your soaked cunt. 

his hips rocked with yours, his gold chain swinging before your eyes. the anime was drowned out by wet smacks of skin and soft moans. each drag of his cock left you light headed. you clenched tighter around him, mumbling soft sobs and ‘oh fucks’ with each piston. the mushroomy tip of his cock nudged perfectly against that spongy wall inside you. “your body was made for my cock. feel it baby?” he cooed, leaning in to meet your lips with his own. his rhythm steady and quick as he fucked you against the leather couch, letting you drag your nails against the bare skin of his back. it felt so good. better than you could have imagined. maybe it was the weed. maybe it was the feelings you held onto. maybe it was in yujis dna to have excellent dick. whatever the answer was, it was leading you to an orgasm; fast. 

your toes curled in your fuzzy socks, your breathing quickened as yujis thrusts became sloppy and rough. a thin trail of spit connected the two of you as he pulled away, pushing your thighs apart to get even deeper inside of you. “s-so deep yuji- mm’cummin…” you whimpered pathetically as your pussy fluttered around him. sucking him deeper and deeper as he nudged against your cervix. the sudden feeling left the coil in your stomach winding impossibly tight as yuji nodded. “you can come. cum with me? cum with me please? please baby?” he huffed and panted as his cock throbbed inside of you.

you nodded, your body quaking as your orgasm hit you like a punch. your body writhed as yuji hunched over you with a deep growl.

his cock pulsed, the feeling of a gooey warmth left your thighs trembling. the throbbing sensation intensified as your body grew sensitive from overstimulation. you could feel the pearl colored cum starting to leak out of you along with your own juices. but thats not what you were worried about.

it was the post nut clarity telling you that you just fucked your homeboy on his older brothers couch. 

[xxstraykidsaikoxx]

ᴛʀɪᴀɴɢʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ || ᴄʜᴀɴɢʙɪɴ (sᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅs) ɴɪɴᴛʜ!ғ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

It's a special ferret boys' birthday! And two very special people are dying to give him the most special gift one could receive! But what happens when these two happen to be fated rivals for the ferrets love, and when this special gift suddenly goes missing?

ෆ contents - cursing towards the end, drags on a bit, arguing, fluff, crack?, kinda lazy writing

ෆ word count - 903

ෆ notes - can you tell i ran out of ideas 😭 i really tried my best with this one i swear, its just i dont really know binnie as well as the other members but that doesn't mean i dont love him im ot8 i promise🤞

"When are you going to accept my feelings, Hyunjin-a.." Came the flirtatious words of a certain pig-rabbit. The latter braced himself for what he knew was about to happen. A well aimed plastic water bottle flew across the room and hit Casanova on his shoulder, "Ow! Okay that one was uncalled for, Ai!" The smirking maknae broke into a fit of giggles as she, once again, foiled Changbin's plan for Hyunjin's affections. Ever since Hyun and Ai had been confirmed to be dating, the interactions between the two and Changbin have become comedy gold. As previously mentioned, the rapper does any thing and everything to "flirt" with Hyunjin, from making comments, to romantic gestures, and even preventing other people, including Hyun's own girlfriend from stealing his affections. Obviously this is all a joke, Changbin would never do something so heinous, so Aiko never took is seriously and even bought into the joke. Now the three have become involved in some sort of love triangle.

Outside of fighting for Hyunjin's love, Changbin and Aiko often had small quarrels about other small things, not as much as Ai does with other members, but enough to earn a eyeroll from anyone within earshot. "I thought you had it!" "No! Chan told me you had it!" "Well obviously it's not in my hands, so why do you think I have it?!" "Guys! Arguing about it isn't going to find it!" Another day, another petty kindergarten argument. But it wasn't just a normal day, it was Hyunjin's birthday! And for the ferrets special day, Aiko and Changbin decided to pitch in and get a gift for him from the both of them. An art set that had a lot of supplies Hyunjin had been wanting for his artwork. They had both bought it and decided to give it to Channie to hold onto, because they were aware that one of them would be dumb enough to lose it. And they did.

"Hyunjin's party is in 30 minuets, what are we going to do? Show up with no gift?!" Aiko panicked, she personally didn't like it when things didn't go to plan, especially when it came to the love of her life's birthday. "Well, we'll just go out looking for it! It's not like it grew legs and walk away!" Changbin suggested, hopeful as always. "You're making it sound like that's what it did! Ugh, let's go look where Chan said he put it, it couldn't be far from there." The pair set off to the confined room, desperate to find the gift to prove who loved Hyunjin most once and for all.

While the two desperately searched, Hyunjin had already arrived. "Where's Ai and Changbin?" Hyunjin had asked, noticing the absence of his most valued admirers. "Oh! They're looking for a gi-" "They're looking for something! Don't worry, they'll be here shortly!" Han quickly hushed Chan, persistent on keeping the gift a secret. Hyunjin obviously didn't buy the act but obliged, he turned away and looked around, waiting to see what the two were doing, hoping that they weren't killing eachother in the process.

"Dammit! We're 30 minuets late looking for this cursed ass gift, we should just give up and show up fuckin' empty handed!" Aiko had enough, clearly, and her mouth spoke faster than what her brain could think. As his younger companion cursed angrily to herself in one corner of the room, Changbin searched frivolously, hoping to any God out there that he'd find this gift. Not only for himself, but for both Hyunjin and Aiko. "You don't think Chan hid it.. right?-" Aiko suspected, it was the only other explanation. "No, Chan isn't like that, there has to be another way this happened. The two sat against the wall in silent defeat, wondering what the hell they were going to do. Both had too much humility and guilt to just show up to one of their closest friend's party empty handed. As they sat in self pity, Aiko looked around and noticed pieces of paper and a few markers scattered around the nearby table, had someone.. set this up? "Oppa, I have an idea." Aiko got up to grab the paper from the table. Changbin looked over to see Ai start folding the paper the several ways. It didn't take long for Changbin to realize what she was doing, "Oh my god you're a genius! Let me get some too!" The two giggled to themselves and hurried to make their newest plan.

Downstairs, a certain birthday boy was still waiting for one of his closest friend and love of his life (though one can argue is both of them) make their way to the party that was slowly dying out. Without two of the loudest members there it was left to Han and Felix to keep up the mood. A sudden burst open of a door made everyone jump as the long awaited Dweakki-Cat duo loudly made their way to the party an hour late. "JAGI! LOOK WHAT I MADE FOR YOU! IT WAS MY IDEA!" Aiko exclaimed as she showed Hyunjin what she did, before being shoved aside by her more stronger older brother, "Nonsense! Mine are clearly more expertly crafted!- Ow!-" Changbin yelped as Aiko kicked him from below. As the two once again started they're usual banter, a fond smile was placed on Hyunjin's face, They had made him paper hearts.

©straykidsaiko

Always keep in mind that nothing in this series and in my posts are real! So anything that may seem 'out of character' should be considered as part of a fake universe! <3

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

[mikalame]

childhood friends

❤ plz be nice this the first story ive writen hope yall like

tap tap tap

you groan you had just been woken up by whatever the hell the hell that tapping noise had been. Ripping back the curtains your meet with a very shocked look by the one and only tom kaulitz. You and tom have been friends for years as you had met through bill, you have kinda got a crush on him but you dont know if he likes you back, hes always dating a new girl every week but lately he seems to be more affectionate to you and not paying much attention to the other girls. 

You open the window and ask in a hushed voice “what the fuck are you doing here its like 12 at night” you say looking at your night stand at staring at the clock.”wanted to come see you feels like we haven't had us time in forever, with the band practising  and all i got us some beers soo maybe you wanna come down to the dock and drink” tom says in a shy voice that you very rarely hear his say. Looking down at your pj’s, you wonder if its a good enough outfit for walking round out side in but in the end you decide to just grab your shoes and pray that its not to cold and windy down there.

you and tom have been sitting down at the docks for a couple minutes now wishing you had brought a jacket as it is now freezing and being hit by the wind is not pleasant at all you grab your beer and drink hoping that the alcohol will warm you up. After you put your drink down you feel and warm jacket wrap around your shoulders “dumb ass you should of brought a jacket” tom says rolling his eyes “now i got to be cold hahaha” he jokes you dont know if he knows hes doing it but you can still feel his arm around you, the alcohol kicking in making you ballsy enough to lean into his body feeling his warmth and smell around you.

After a few minutes tom speaks up “look ___ the reason i wanted to come out here with you is because i need to tell you something” he sits up and has a very serious look on his face. you still up aswell quickly sobering up “ during these past couple weeks ive been feeling real down and i wasnt quite sure what its was, i thought it might off be that i wasnt getting enough sleep or that i wanted a girlfriend and while i do want one just none of them have really made me feel well like me”. pausing before looking at me “ so while we have been sitting here and just being with eachother i kinda realsied that i feel like me when im around you and ___ i think i like you more than a friend and im really hoping you feel the same or its gonna be a bit awkward “ tom says with a awkward laugh trying to lighten the mood “You like me tom like actually like like me”___ says shocked by his question hoping it wasnt some sort of prank or something “ yeah um do you like me back” he says worry flooding his voice “you know its okay if you dont” he says packing some stuff away __ grabs his t shirt collar and pulls him in a kiss shocked at first but soon relaxes into it grabbing her waist and pulling her closer. Pulling back for a breather __ says in between gasps “i like you to tom” 

He smiles wide and pulls her back into a kiss she can still feel the smile as she kisses back.

[bulbabutt]

Can I ask your thoughts on TF One? I have mixed feelings about it, but I’m very curious about what other people think (this can be an invitation to rant if you want it)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thats all ive BEEN doing but you've asked for it

its. so fucking. like okay you could tell from the trailers that it was just gonna be your AVERAGE ass blockbuster movie. its tone was not giving anything original in the slightest. you know, mcu slop. not like... that everything mcu IS slop, but like youve seen unoriginal basic blockbusters before im sure. vague 'we gotta save the world' types.

starting with characters: we have quirky funny hero who makes bad jokes, hes starlord but not as thought out. childish and hopeful, but never wrong. we have a secondary 'comic relief' who... feels useless cuz orion is already the jokester, hes there to be awkward and make the others uncomfortable, but like... ahahha hes violent now. hes pretty useless to the story. and we have cliche ass woman side character whos there to be.... the fuckin scarlett johansen type, i feel like i dont even need to specify what i mean by that. youve seen marvel movies or marvel like movies. like elita in this movie bumps that prime arcee problem i have up to 11, heres shes....... a career woman. who is FINE being taken advantage of and not being compassionate cuz THERES WORK TO DO.... like. i mean think of those romcoms where a woman has NOOOO time for dating kind of thing. and then the only character worth a damn (also the only... not shitty SOUNDING one aka a good VOICE actor whos being a CHARACTER and not just 'hey everyone you know this guys voice') is megatron, and hes not as well thought out as he should be. like they do TRY with his arc, but its not satisfying enough, they dont HOLD ON HIM enough i think. and then hes the bad guy when HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG........

this movie bumps the usual 'transformers lore is boring long and confusing as hell' to 11 cuz its a movie, trying to fit in lore that usually is spaced out over the course of a tv show. and tv shows with all that lore tend to be annoying anyway, but JESUS in a movie is it ever annoying. but its not that thought out! like. ive said it a hundred times before, but i HATE the 13. i hate the fact we have fucking jesus and the apostles to the LITERAL god primus, it makes the story fucking basic as hell. it makes the politics surrounding the war religious and messy and BAD! THIS IS ABT ROBOTS WHY IS IT A HOLY WAR NOW!!!

and showing that the one guy who WASNT chosen by god to be the bad guy whos lying to the people ABOUT being chosen by god is bad! we should know thats bad COME ON. and his whole thing is 'oops ive fucked up and now im sacrificing my people to these vague alien invaders cuz im a big dumb idiot and i have no plan on how to deal with this tee hee' like. how you gonna make the quintessons this lame. theyre vaguely animal like but willing to make a deal and stuff. its really poorly thought out.

also. from the trailers they made it look like 'oh no, elita and airachnid are gonna have that GIRL beef with each other, so we can justify the girls fighting' but.... they didnt even do that. airachnids not really a character, shes just... the only person whos on sentinels side. for some reason. but really its just cuz shes physically weird, and she could easily be replaced by an object shes not a character, shes the camera with the proof. (something something girl transformers are always motorcycles or spiders cuz sexual dimorphism of alt modes LMAO)

like. i did not care for prime ive said that a million times here, but at least that shows telling and not showing gave you like 'okay so orion and megatron used to be partners who started a revolution together, and their political beliefs are what splintered the planet into autobots and decepticons'. but HERE. its so fucking vague?? its like. ok what split them apart was.... the fact megatron wanted to kill the (according to the movie) only guy who was causing any problems for the whole planet?? WHEN BUMBLEBEE WAS JUST SHOWN KILLING LIKE 20 GUYS 5 MINUTES EARLIER???

anyway that 'death' scene for orion was ripping off beast machines and while i had issues with beast machines at the time FUCK YOU! they did that for A REASON!!!! IT WAS NARRATIVELY IMPORTANT TO HAVE HIM DO THAT! IT WAS BAD WHEN PRIME RIPPED IT OFF AND THIS RIPPED IT OFF WORSE!!!!!! FOR WHAT!!! 'oh optimus runs in the way of megatrons gun to save the, i repeat, guy who is SINGLEHANDEDLY responsible for opression on their planet?? thats fucking stupid. thats genuinely so stupid, and while him being like 'im done saving you' COULD be fun and cool and interesting there justttttt wasnt enough of it??

like what i find interesting is that megatron and ELITA had more in common, they were BOTH trying to use the fucked up system they knew was fucked up to get ahead. and what do we get out of that? some BULLSHIT 'girlboss' speech that belongs in 2011 from elita about 'im better than you, i could do everything right cuz im cool and badass and smart and better than you. but.... youre a big dummy with a heart so you should be in charge' GROOOOOOOOOOANNNNN

people always wanna harp on me for being like 'idk man, i like g1 cuz i think theres more interesting ideas that could be readapted better by people who care' but instead we have to turn characters and stories and ideas about politics into basic ass hollywood blockbuster vague nonsense to fit the ideals of the wider movie going audience. and i think thats bullshit.

i think transformers should go back to ripping of star wars and im not kidding. stop making the autobots the fucking leaders of the planet, youre making them complicit in a corrupt worldstate and turning them into fascists who oust non believers. they started as fucking scrappy rebels, take me the fuck back if youre not even gonna go so far as to say 'maybe the autobots do the WRONG thing' like they did in animated.

i think people only like this movie cuz theyre too fucking used to the GOD AWFUL BAYVERSE, and so they think this is GOOD. its not!! its not smart at all!!! go watch sci fi shit from before 2007 I SWEAR TO GOD!!!! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!

the best tf movie IS STILL the transformers the movie 1986 cuz it was COOL and DIFFERENT and well animated and had a good soundtrack and was full of cool characters! maybe it was a lil goofy, but THAT message of hope in the face of despair speaks WAY louder than THIS SHIT..... if youre gonna force the conflict to be political you need SOME UNDERSTANDING OF POLITICS....

im sorry. ive only seen the movie once but im just.... it encapsulates every fucking issue ive been having with the transformers franchise since watching prime. where it got fucking religious and poorly thought out. i know its those god awful bay movies faults but JESUS its been sticking around WAY too long and im tired.

[kaisfruit]

Can I humbly request OW headcannons of Widowmaker being a protective aunt to her nephew reader (platonic of course) like I can just see reader walking with a girl or even talking to a girl and Widowmaker literally just has her sniper scope trained on her head at all times lmfao

Protective Aunt!Widowmaker with Nephew!Reader

Warnings; none! <3

Due to her brainwashing, i dont think you would be her ACTUAL nephew yk?

maybe you started off as just an associate to talon? like you don't really do anything within the organization, but you're like a reputable source of info or money or smthn IDK THIS ISNT WHAT UR HERE FOR BUT I LOVE EXPOSITION

but widow is attached

it takes her a while, but she knows that she cares about you and doesn't want any harm to come onto you. a feeling she hasn't had in a long time

Haven't eaten in a few hours? She's immediately swinging by with snacks

Stayed up too late? Forcefully tucking you into bed and standing guard at your door to make sure no one wakes you up

You're her little spider she has to make sure you're okay <33

OMG and when you start talking to a girl? SHE IS BASICALLY WATCHING EVERY DATE

Scope trained on the girl the whole time

She was ready to shoot at the smallest sign of something going wrong

If you and the girl start dating? Oh my god, we just have to pray she isn't scared off by auntie widow 😭🙏

The "If you hurt my nephew, I will tear you apart like the bug you are." talk is something that not many can make it out of without feeling like they should go into isolation for the rest of their lives

if the girl leaves you AND leaves you heartbroken?? im not saying she'd be wiped from the Earth as well but 🥶🥶

Widow also gives her input on every girl too

"Unacceptable."

"She talks too much."

But if she likes a girl you're talking to? Then there is nothing but compliments when she is around!

That still doesn't mean she isn't ready to kill her at the drop of a hat, but! that's unfair because she'd kill anyone that did you wrong.

We all know Widow is a woman of few words, but if anyone in Talon mentions you, she's suddenly apart of the conversation.

If Reaper is as mean as he usually is? Widow is quick to coldly correct him

Sombra even jokes about hacking into your personal data? Widow shoots her a glare that even has Olivia backing down.

You're probably the only person who doesn't feel like they're just a tiny target in Widow's eyes

She doesn't know how it ended up like this, but she is very grateful for her "nephew" and everything he does. It allows her a taste of humanity that she hasn't felt in years.

[mchib]

I need some Rize and Shuu friendship headcanons!

thank u anon!

i want to say ive never written a fanfic or anything of the sort so im not experienced in that field of writing but i do like do do character analasys and like headcanoning things so feel free to share any opposing views!!

first and foremost i feel like they have a common character flaw that they expect nothing less of an extravagant lifestyle even though both of them attempt to uphold and fulfil this different ways i feel like they would find great company in like luxurious or over the top things and they could perhaps be one of the only people that dont harbor distaste or skeptical feelings towards each other upon learning of the others hobbies. they also have certain tastes and are both picky eaters in their own ways so i imagine a lot of discussions would be had about what characteristics make someone more tasty. that being said i think shuu would continuingly tell rize that shes way too messy and she should invest in self control or at least be more private about her eating habits lolol.

i also feel like they would find solace in each others company talking about like art and philosophy although i imagine shuu already had more than enough people to rant to i think that rize would definitely genuinely listen and engage. if they fought or had a disagreement i imagine one of them being stuck head first in a concrete wall and then shuu would refuse to to her for like a day and call her a barbaric hoodlum behind her back but no real feelings or resentment would comply. i feel like a normal person having a conversation with any of the two would somehow contain an interference of something along the lines of 'woah woah woah you cant say that man thats too far' because they both make pretty morbid jokes but if it were just the two i feel like they would feel as though they could freely speak their mind without anyone wondering how they were raised or what set of events led to such absurd jokes being recited in such grim circumstances.

i feel like shuu would feel sort of be offended meeting rize upon hearing that her insides were used to turn kaneki half ghoul as even when kaneki loses all sanity his and rize's personalities are not compatible in the slightest, and so before learning to get over it he would feel kind of awkward around her because he wants to be mad at her but he knows it wasnt her fault at the same time so hes trying to be civil about it. meanwhile she would think of him as an antisocial snob and try to brag to him about how she made something of herself without being spoon-fed and is able to manage her giant appetite while on the run from the ccg and ghouls alike.

when shuu is like in his terminally ill granny state i feel like she would stay by his side but also be discouraging saying stuff like 'men should suffer in silence' and 'a public execution would be more appealing'. i feel like when they go out together shuu would try really hard to convince her to clean up so they can look fresh as hell and go fancy places but rize always ends up consuming some random homeless guy on the street. rize gives off 'i want to be with the bourgeoiseses' vibes but when they come around she just doesnt want to put in the effort. 'just kick reason to the curb and come with me!' (can you tell i do lyric analasys).

i feel like rize would like use shuu's rich people resources to make stuff like lets pose a hypothetical that ghouls could eat cookies. rize would use shuu's kitchen and ingredients to make the most foul tasting cookies and then put a sticky note on them telling shuu not to touch. then he flips out. rize is also very not used to not having to do dishes or anything in his household so she feels weird about being emptyhanded while others make the food. she'll be trying to hide her pleasure with being treated with such luxury but you can definitely see her grinning at the dinner table. we know she has table etiquette from her and kaneki's date but whats to stop her from completely disregarding all manners when shes in the presence of ghouls? i feel like she'd be kinda gross the first few times over cuz men aint shit but she kind of grows into being at least presentable at dinner.

when they r in the car shuu wants to be passanger princess but he doesnt trust rize behind the wheel. hes not the hero we deserve, but hes all we have right now. irrelevant but if rize was driving she'd like crash on the highway for fun or something. she has a fake license that says something like risse kaminishi from district 12

ok thats all i can think of rn & sorry if i mischaracterized shuu im not nearly as much of an expert on his character but i do enjoy him a lot

[ilovechubbieguys]

Chapter 3🍓

-lmk if you guys have any criticism i love criticism as long as its respectful!! Enjoy! Chapter 2 here!

-------------------------🍓-----------------------

"Blake?.."

He turned around with a sour look on his face. I mean god he looked so diffrent i had no clue it was him.

I mean can you blame me! Its been 5 years since high school. Im shocked he recognized me to fast.

Theres no way hes still mad?! He knows i had nothing to do with any of that. Right? I mean ya i was there but iiii didnt do anything. That was all jenny and her boyfriend. I was simply a bystander. Kinda.. not really.

I do feel bad now that i think about it... he didnt deserve that. No one does. God i was such a little bitch in highschool

------------epic flash back memory------------

Jenny: heyy blake

Blake: oh uh hey jenny

Jenny: i wanted to ask you something

Blake: uh ya sure whats up

Jenny: did you have a date to prom yet?

Blake: no, no i dont why

Jenny: oh ok great! You know my friend y/n?

Blake: ya ive seen her around

Jenny: well she was wondering if youd go with her!

Blake: wait really?

Jenny: ya here ill put her number in your phone!

Blake: ok sounds good

--------end of epic flashback memory---------

Long story short it was all a joke. I stood him up at prom just for the fun of it...

I know im an asshole but i couldnt say no to jenny shed ruin me! She was the most powerful girl at school

And ive changed! I could never do somthing lile that to someone now.. i just hope i can make him see that

I walked back to the living room and saw issac was back but blake had left. I dont blame him between his getting yelled at by tanner and being faced with his highschool bully i wouldnt be shocked if he didnt come out till i left.

After a while of talking me and tanner ended up in his room taking turns taking hits from a cart tanner swore was his.

We where talking about everything and everything, you know high thoughts. Suddenly the door bust open "TANNER DO YOU HAVE MY NEW C-" it was blake

He stopped dead in his tracks staring at me, cart in hand mid hit. I froze up not knowing what to do. Was i smoking his cart right now...

I swear im gonna kill tanner.

"Tanner. Is that my cart shes hitting right now."

"Maybe..."

"OMG IM SO SORRY TANNER SAID IT WAS HIS"

"Just keep it i dont want it now that its been anywhere near you"

What. Did he just call me dirty..😧 i looked over at tanner "im gonna kill you."

Some time goes by and i decide i should go apologize to blake and not just for the cart. Tanner told me which room was his and i knock on his door.

*knock knock*

"Blake? Its y/n"

I dont hear a responce so i go in. Hes sitting at his desk playing seige. I take a look around his room. Rugs on the wall? Thats an interesting choice but i liked it.

I asume he didnt hear me so i walk up to his chair and tap his shoulder lightly trying to not scare him.

"Blake?"

He pulls the left side of his headphones off his ear but doesnt turn to you, to focused on the current match hes in.

"Hey blake i just wanted to say im sorry... and not just for the cart. Which i will replace.."

He doesnt say anything but you hear him sigh "ya like id believe that." Fair point

"Im serious blake i dont know why i was such a bitch in highschool you didnt deserve that..." i tried to sound as genuine as possible

"Well you where a bitch and thats that. Now get out"

Oh my god. He is impossible and ya sure im a better person but im still not gonna put up with disrespect "listen blake im trying here ok which is alot better then nothing at all" you say matter of a factly. I notice he had died in his game as his screen lit up red

He stood up from his chair and turned to me "ya hallelujah your a saint, a changed person thats great bye" he got pretty damn close to me for hating me and all

Ill admit him being this close to me made me relize he really was cute... maybe if he didnt hatw my guts hes a nice guy who knows..

But i sure as hell am not giving up this easily.

---------------------------------------------------

GUYS ILL ADMIT THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT THE BEST IM SORRY 😭😭I GOTTA BUILD CONTEXT.

[mothlover69]

I DEMAND LEON KENNEDY SELF SHIP LORE!!!

(I don't know anything about Resident Evil other than what my brother's told me but I'm genuinely curious.)

AAA def using this ask as an excuse to talk about how we get together ❤️

Going under the cut cuz it got away from me

I meet him at a bar when im like 21 or 22 and hes around 43/44 cuz that is definitely where that man spends a majority of his time when hes not on missions. We get to talking, he buys me drinks, he thinks im cute but he can tell im pretty young compared to him. He honestly feels kinda guilty for being attracted to me

He gets a couple drinks in and starts flirting. Obviously i flirt back. But nothing happens that night and we go our separate ways

One day, couple weeks later, im out running errands or something. The suns starting to set, im walking home, and there's not that many people around. Some asshole catcalls me, i flip him off, like i usually do. But i guess i have really bad luck that day because this guy decides to pull over and get out of his car. He starts following me, yelling something about how hes gonna kill me. I start walking faster, hoping to get to the next block where i know there'll be more people.

Suddenly, someone else appears next to me. I was so focused on the guy following me and trying to, like, survive that i dont see where they came from.

Oh my god you'll never guess who it is. Yeah, it's Leon.

Since there's now a big, buff man carrying a gun next to me, and we clearly know each other, the guy following me suddenly doesn't seem too keen to keep threatening me. But Leon still turns to him with a cold expression and asks him what he thinks he's doing.

Dude takes one look at him and just turns and books it.

Leon asks if im okay and then walks me home. He figures he should probably leave, but he asks if i want him to stick around for a bit 'just to be safe'. Really, he just cant help but want to spend more time with me. Even if he feels like he shouldnt.

I accidentally triggered his savior complex and now he wants me even more

Obviously, I say yes. Hot older guy that just saved my ass wants to hang out for a bit? Literal dream come true

At first we just talk. He's funny, and we keep making each other laugh. But the more time we spend with each other, the more the tension grows

His self control keeps getting thinner and then the two of us are unconsciously leaning towards each other while we talk. He makes some kind of teasing remark that makes me pout at him and suddenly he cant take it anymore. He grabs my face and kisses me

Im ecstatic, enthusiastically kissing him back until he pulls away with a flushed face and dark eyes

He tells me that we shouldnt do this, that hes so much older than me, and i tell him hes being stupid. Making a big deal out of nothing. And he looks so guilty, torn between his desire for me and his desire to be an honorable man that doesnt sleep with someone half his age

It doesnt take much to convince him to give in. And then im on his lap and we're making out again

He spends the night. I make him breakfast the next day because with those abs he must be starving. I tell a bad joke and he cracks up and seeing me in the morning sunlight that streams through the window... he does not want this to be a one time thing. He doesn't want to be without me

So after breakfast he asks me on a proper date, and apologizes for not doing so before. Formally asks me to be his partner. Of course i say yes

And the rest is history

Anyway..

But yeah, my s/i is a normal citizen that doesnt have anything to do with the actualy resident evil lore. I dont fight BOWs, i dont work for the DSO, im separate from all of that. And Leon really appreciates having something important in his life thats.. normal. Im something stable and soft for him to come home to. The thought of me is what keeps him strong when hes off on his missions.

Oh i got sappy good bye o////o