#im in my hating cops era (i never stop) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brilliantfantasticgeronimo · 3 years ago

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sorry mutuals this has to be the longest reaction post i have ever done in like 7 years of tumblr sldkjfklsd this episode was just A Lot

-weekly butthurt recall that chibnall beat me in using the faiths in a 13 doctor story and now when i do it in next year in my xena crossover is not gonna seen as clever. damn u chibnall. -”bel’s story” omg what is this.... high concept realness??? im in. -my meta-analysis of "flux is a metaphor for climate change/enviromeltal catastrophe" gets stronger every episode. -SEXU BRONZE DALEKS. love those fuckers. bless them for finally iguring out floating. rip any stairs or swamps that get in their path. -even more irl enviromental collapse parlallels: the fear over right neo nazi factions rising in europe rn. -"my love" is she gay? -these blue time-bees reminds me of the thingies from father's day. miss those cute guys. they never showed up again ): -there's so much color everywhere this season... who knew the end of the world would be so pretty... -the little echo effect of swarm fingers snapping in the recap... ooh yes -the day going to black effect ohhh yesss -im watching the audiodescribed version for the first time and i's really interesting to be honest! im picking up a lot of new vocabulary for the weird things that they describe on screen lol -ooooooohhhhhhh pov of the doctor man!!! im loving this. i have read a lot of fics of people trying to do this, specially this era, and it feels very satisfying how the show is confirming that “high speed” thinking. -”leap and the net will appear, that’s what john buroughs told me” we love 1 little bitch namedropping even in monologue / just to show off to the audience she doesn’t know is there.

-(yes in this case “little bitch” is gender-neutral)

-this effect of the other 3 “falling” into the time storm looked a bit silly tbh dskljfkl and i love jodie but her green-screen acting in this bit.... dsklfjklds well... let’s just say she’s had better moments. -the eu feelings intensify -WHAT IS HAPPENING -I LOVE THIS -INFERNO REALNESS??? -jodie is so beautiful -seriously what is happening -diana get away from him he has a dog husband to come back to >:( -he's so smooth tho i love him. -"you are not ugliest fella in this city" oh no they are cute ): -i hate liking dan this much. how dare this show make me root for someone male straight and white AGAIN. -ohh and his parallels to the doctor’s personality intensify... - -THASMIN REGULAR PEOPLE AU. -ok not quite but i got really excited for a sec sdljkf -all this casual banter is killing me what are ya'll saying stop speaking so fast. there’s foreigners in the audience. -dan/diane x thasmin parallels -lol this constant "diverse casting for cops" is sure a thing huh. i see through u chibs/bbcs. #acab -the sfx artists are on fire this episode (i hope they got paid well and didn’t have crunch time....) -Right. if all time is bleeding through and things are like, all over the place..., it actually makes a lot of sense lore-wise that weeping angels are over-powered and feasting on everything. it’s not seeming like a pointless bringing of an old monster for fanservice, but actually serves the story a lot if u think about it.good stuff! -i want all these aus omg -mandip in napoleonic era sicfi outfits is doing things to me -wow "grant serpent" doesn't sounds ominous and evil at all vinder. def an organization u can trust. -jodie in black is doing thins to me -NITRO NINE TIME -Ace should have patented that formula smh -13 referring to vinder as "that other lad" cos she doesn't know him yet lollll -once you get the "trick" of how this episode / serial work’s structure works is a little less impressive, but i’m still having fun w/ it and the actual content of the flashbacks. -time storms ldskfjlk THIRTEEN QUICK THROW THIS ALARM CLOCK!!! THE PAST IS COMING OUT OF HER EAR...... -(do ppl still remember that meme? i should find it again man, it was so good slkdjf) -the art desiggggnnnHhhhnggggg -also: something about pyramids and platonic solids and greek mythology./alchemy.. maybe they should have put a dodecahetron instead? pyramds represent fire after all, not the ether/time... (not that they dont look cool but, they could have continued the greek theme!) -RUTH RUTH RUTHTHTRFJKHKJDSLHFLSKJDHFLSDJKHFLSKDJHFLKSJDHFLKJSDHFLKSJDHFLKJSDHF -¨this is my past" HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT THE TIME LOOP IM- THAT'S WHY WE DIDNT HAVE 13'S IN A FLASHBACK IT'S BECAUSE THIS IS HER FLASHBACK AHHH -chibnall have my babies -the absolute disgust when ruth looks at thirteen as realizes she is her reflection.... peak In-Character doctor mood. ("i’m not the woman i used to be, thank god") -(look all i want is 20009809 low-stake stories about thirteen/ruth having a fun two/three // seven/five mutual-repulsion dynamic... is that really asking too much, EU/fic writers. i never asked you for anything) -"pretty smart for a dog" -no but memes aside this is really impressive... like, it's very sophisticated plotting, and the weaving of lore is great... but it's still all about character building for our 4 (5 ) heroes. it’s nice that chibnall keeps that in mind. -that said... this episode is kicking my ESL ass... my brain is spinning trying to keep up ToT -OHHH man. so much backstory. -lol ruth is so done even when she is helping her future self. i love them so much -"you fucked up, me." -dallying. -OHH THE CAPITALIST PIGS IN THEIR FUNNY HATS ARE BACK - im digging the like, subtle horror-vibe of this. the cackling was pretty creepy dslkjf. -honestly this serial is also a great tourist ad for liverpool. just look at that waterfront! woah -this ghostly effect is pretty nice -BEL THE LUPARI ARE FINE DONT WORRY (the retroactive storytelling!!!... chef’s kiss) -the subtle commentary of these alien fuckers (meritocrat cybermen, nazi daleks, supremacist warmonger sontarans, etc) having to be fought even at the end of the world is really y cool. idk what to make of it yet political-messaging-wise but i dig it lol something like... how we have to fight until the end and shit and we have to struggle as long as we are alive and... that's fine... good stuff worth thinking about. -hey there not-brax. -"challenges are temporary, life is constant" -is she a past / future companion? like melanie bush in trial of a time lord? -vinder's story makes me want to replay SW: KOTOR 1+2 so bad. The aesthetic/vibe of this mission is so on-point w/ that game... -ok i think the specific primal horror this story is tapping into is like..., being at work and not knowing what's happening that day or missing an assignment and school lol -SONYA SONYA SONYA SONYA SONYA -bless this confirming a headcanon i didn't even knew i had that, not only is yaz not into any kind of "modern music", she also doesn't like "video-games." ( i love 1 boring-ass bi-mess with no social life). -also im losing my mind at fake-gamer-gurl sonya. -13 is such a sassy asshole to yaz even when she's helping her lol im sorry guys but this is every entertaining dslkjfsdklfj -noooo!!! this was my thing ... i was going to have thirteen take the place of the fates dammit again chibnall ): im gonna have to rewrite the climax of part 3 aghhslkdjf -future memories... eyes emoji -omg omg omg yaz picking up things!! i love you yaz u are so smart even if 13 doesnt see it. -this episode reminds me of how much dw deserves a proper videogame. -ooh they took the "image of an angel is angel" thing! i like. -CLEVER YAZ -"do you want me to be single forever?" i died -"PROTECT YAZ.... and that lad." -division dark-side thirteen/ruth are doing things to me. -"do not underestimate me" put me down as horny *and* confused :D -man division!era swarm was a lot less glittery... it’s like the meta of how each master is very much designed as a foil for "their" doctor lol -also swarm gives tim-shaw such a kicking. -hmm... ‘the passenger’ gives me watcher vibes... -the eu-vibes of this adventure intensifies. -there's so much lore and funky wilderness-era dialogue happening here and it's all nonsense scientifically ... and i love it. -”TIME SHALL NEVER SURRENDER TO SPACE” -which other show gives you dialogue like this honestly? i’ll wait -cartmell is weeping for not coming up with this. -thirteen/ruth using the “forbidden form” of multiverse tech... ohhh yes -not!dan with karvanista laser’s axe :) dogtp -"YOU AND ME TOGETHER" that’s gay doc -bell is so cute --- she is so gonna die isn’t she ): -i have no idea what ruth!thirteen did but it sure seemed epic, clever and....... ruthless (eyy) -ohh another bit of retroactive storytelling here... now we know how swarm got captured! -”WE SHALL NOT BE CONTAINED” swarm is such a hamm. i love them. nimon serial energy tbh. -i appreciate the continuity of the time storm design being the same as the time vortex this era (as per the opening credits) -also the continuity of the faiths being gold! aka the screwdriver aka the current tardis crysals aka the logo aka thirteen's signature color. we love meaningful and consistent color usage *clap cla*. -”CONVERT THIS CU*Ts” i love her. -7 billion cybermen... are these the parallel earth OG cybermen? from hartnell era? hence the same population as earth? -i love the message of this story: all these civs striving for conquering things-... but there's no point to conquering because the earth/world/universe is all gonna end anyway. good stuff. -*blasts the cyber with a laser* "Love is the only mission.idiot.“ wtf i LOVE her. -(also i rewatched one of my favorite fiive/tegan scenes after the bit with and it was relevant to this moment!) -”stop te recording” ohh shit the guy is gonna betray vinder / do something shady. -i liked the continuity of "recording" motifs connecting the previous bell scene and this storyline. -ppl were right last week man i mean "fray samport"?? these names are such classic who bs lolll -honestly props to chibnall for making me so invested in all these side-characters. vinder u deserve the world son not these corrupt space napoleonic fuckers. -vinder you are an idiot though dslkjf if someone tells you "have you spoken to your family about any of this?" you cant trust them it’s obviously a threat. -idiot slkfjkl -segun has been pretty chill this episode tbh. i noticed a couple moments that could have done with more music... -maybe it's better tho it might have been too much sensory overload skldjf -YESSS DOGGIE -OHhh ho fuck i love this. the temptation of the doctor to see everything... even more torture bc it is yet another “selfish” choice they aren’t even allowed to make... ugh poor bb ): -”WHO ARE YOU??” i love flux. what is anything. who are we? who are you, tumblr user? we don’t really know. -"lost causes are my specialty" <3 <3 <3 -so “THE RAVEGERS” azure and swarm got introduced by something? meaning there’s a bigger fish behind all this? valeyard? -is she the master? romana? the rani?????? SUSAN??????¡¡¡¡ -"EVERYTHING HAS ITS TIME" ahh my favourite rtd themeeee!!!!! - also again..., climate change fightin' vibes -ahh frog universe vibes. -"it was made. it was placed" more: "humands" didn't cause climate collapse some very powerful people that resist systemic change did. -who knows who this old lady is but she is calling out the doc hypocrisy so obviously, we tan :) -"You dont understand anything" maybe if you told her things... jackass....??? -man im so into this arc. so good. -ohhh--- the first few chords of thirteen's theme in this scene suddenly interrupted with the "this is bad happenings" music... i see u segun. i see u. -"WE'RE GONNA STOP YOU" (crickes) dan i love you you absolute madlad. -dude the constant parallels and all the “romantic love beating the odds” framing and thirteen just not getting it and yaz subtle side glance... dare i say.... #thasminendgame. -swarm has a little pig nose. -aghh the reflection thing coming back again!! cinematographyyy -hehe another "vinder as yaz's companion" moment. so cute. -dan has known the doctor for like 2 day but it’s like he has speed-run through an entire companion arc lol -thirteen like HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THINGS dsslkfjlksd ass!!! -i feel like yaz might die / sacrifice herself by connecting some dots before the doctor and thirteen is gonna realize it only too late and she's gonna feel like a complete idiot for the rest of her fourteenth incarnation. -(sigh of relief) ohhhh god bless. vinder isnt yaz's endgame dslfjsdkl good for him vinder/belll otp let them reunite and have a million little tamagotchis :) i do not have an ulterior agenda for this :)))) -”and YOUR URBORN CHILD AS WELLLLL” slkdjfkld this is so cheesy i love it. -oh no ): i dont like where this is going.... -omg i love this cheesy grease summer loving effect... what is doctor who if not intellect and ROMANCE over brute force and cynicism? -if im gay and you are gay then who is that angel piloting this plane

#im just #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #dw #flux #dw spoilers #took me like 3 hours to get through this one sdlkfjklsdjfklsdjf

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cannedapricot · 7 years ago

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Murder Mystery Party! Wanna One

happy late halloween!! here’s a halloween special, murder mystery party! wanna one for you all!!

welcome to the annual murder mystery party held every halloween

it’s a tradition you see

every student on campus is invited

and everyone apart from the victim is a suspect

but the thing is, nobody actually knows who the host is

rumor has it that the original host actually died one night and others have been keeping the tradition alive

but people also say that the host changes every year and is decided by lottery

every student receives a invitation a month before the 31st

so y’all have enough time to get a costume together lol

the envelope always matches the theme of the party

last year, it was a simple, slick black, matching the theme of a classy work dinner kinda party

included in the envelope was a wad of paper

containing everything you needed to know about your character and if they were the murderer or not

or if they were the person flopping to the floor dramatically and dying rip

but of course

this is all fictional and done for fun

or is it????? ???? ? 👀👀👀👀👀

this year, as usual, you received an invitation on september 30

this year though, the envelope was decorated in victorian accents

in gold lettering, the first piece of paper read,

“you are hereby invited to the biggest victorian masquerade party of the year”

you already want to skip the party this year lma o

victORIAN CLOTHING IS EXPENSIVE. EVEN IF YOU’RE RENTING OK

ALSO A MASK????

LOOKS SADLY AT BANK ACCOUNT

but guess what!!!

minhyun and jaehwan ain’t having none of that!!!

again,,,, but loOK, IN MY DEFENSE,,, MINHWAN ARE BFF GOALS

the two drag you along with them to rent costumes

with you throwing a tantrum like a six year old on the way

“buT IT’S SO EXPENSIVE I CAN BARELY AFFORD TO E A T”

“oops the wind’s too loud, what’d you say?”

“tHe WiNd’S tOo LoUd. THERE’S NO WIND JAEHWAN”

so you settle for pouting

art student! baejin happily agreed to make masks for all twelve of you so that’s some money saved lol

you wince looking at the price tags

“300 foR A MONTH????? ARE YOU K I D D I N G M E”

stOPS BREATHING FOR A SHORT SECOND

bitCH YOU ARE SKIPPING THIS DUMB ASS PARTY--

“y/n where do you think you’re going??”

minhyun caught you by the hood of your hoodie

shIT

YOUR GREAT ESCAPE PLAN WAS FOULED BY NONE OTHER THAN THE GREAT EMPEROR HWANG

angrily puffs

the three of you are just as poor as each other

so you guys end up renting the cheapest three

but of course, minhwan look 10/10

you’RE STUNNING AS WELL THOUGH

“yes y/n, step on me”

“i- what the fuck”

looking at other people’s character’s info was strictly against the rules

you’d be uninvited every year from then on if you’re caught

but you were able to ask others about theirs

cause it’s up to you to decide if they’re lying about it or not

and that’s what minhwan cautiously asks you on the way back to the dorms

“hey y/n, what’s your character this time?”

you

haven’t

really

looked

at the info

and after renting the costume,,,,, yoU GOTTA MEMORIZE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER BEFORE THE PARTY

because well, taking out your info sheet at the party breaks the atmosphere

swEATS

“uH,,,, GUESS”

SONIC SPEEDS OFF

YOU WEREN’T GONNA LET THE TWO KNOW THAT YOU DON’T KNOW

BECAUSE HELL, JAEHWAN’S NEVER GONNA LET IT GO

EVEN IF IT WAS SOMETHING TINY LIKE THIS

so you SLAM your door open, stunning your dorm mate

CHUCK your rented costume on your bed

gently

because that thing was expensive as fuck

and FLIP out your character sheet

you were the child of a well known lord

and so you were in the middle upper class

you had an older brother who is SUPER protective of you

well, at least the sheet said

every character was unique and had different alibis

and murder motives

the host obviously has to spend all year on this lol

the victim was said to be a person in the higher level middle class (one of the only information about the victim given)

and so you were confused as to why you would be a suspect

why would someone in a higher social position murder someone lower??

a sigh of relief left your lips as you realize you’re not the real murderer

you sucked at lying

but you were a suspect due to the fact that you knew the victim since you guys were children and the two of you were sworn enemies

not the “oh my god i hate you but i also love you” kind

but the “fucKING HELL I ACTUALLY HATE YOU WITH ALL MY SOUL” kind

as you two grew up, you got mature,,,, but they got worse

you overheard something about the victim wanting to assault your father

anD SO YOU WERE SUSPECTED DUE TO THIS

BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD THINK THAT YOU HAD TO KILL THEM BEFORE THEY KILL YOUR DAD

huffs

this would be a tough character to pull off

especially since the victim has plans to kill your father

that’s a strong motive

your dormmate willingly tells you that they’re a part of the working class

you hum in response

your gut feeling telling you to not show up at the party at all

buT YOUR MIND IS TELLING YOU TO GO BECAUSE YOUR WALLET IS HAVING A BREAKDOWN DUE TO THE STUPID COSTUME

so that’s what you do

on the 31st, you’re getting ready with your dormmate

and you receive a text from seongwoo as you’re fixing your mask

which, by the way, is also stunning. art student! baejin is talent itself

“hey, i apparently have a younger sibling and i’m asking everyone but they say that they don’t have no sibling. you’re my last hope y/N ARE YOU MY LONG LOST SIBLING”

you lowkey wanna reply with “fuck off” but you reply saying that you, do, indeed have an older bro and that you two are not long lost siblings

“yUS IM POSITIVE ITS U, ARE U A CHILD OF SOME LORD???”

“yea”

“oKAY Y/N YOU CUTE LIL SIBLING, BIG BRO WILL PRO T E C T YOU”

flashbacks to haunted house pat timer! ong seongwoo

the info sheet said protective older bro but ong can’t wait for you to get a s/o lmao protective my ass

with a roll of your eyes, you head towards the party with your dormmate

WHICH WAS HELD IN SOME FANCY, EXPENSIVE HOTEL

it was already packed by the time you got there

you couldn’t tell who was w ho

the masks were throwing you off

your dormmate disappears off to the “kitchens” as she was a working maid

the host of the fake masquerade party (not the real host, the person whose character is the host in the script) was wearing a beautiful royal blue mask and was heading your way

you lowkey panic™

humaN INTERACTION???? ALREADY????

“hello, i’m your humble host today, lee daehwi”

“ohMYGOD DA E H W I”

“who is this--”

you pull him into a HUGE hug

“iT’S Y/N YO”

“yOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BREAK CHARACTER FOR THE FIRST HOUR Y/N GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER”

“oH FUCK i mean hi!! i’m y/n,,,,”

swEATS

“HOW DO PEOPLE INTRODUCE THEMSELF IN THIS ERA??”

you whisper

“IDK I’M JUST GOING AROUND SAYING THAT I’M THE HOST”

he whispers back

YOU SCREAM INSIDE

“what are you supposed to be though??” you ask daehwi, looking at his costume

“i’m an earl,,,, i have no idea what an earl is but i mean,,, i get throw parties so,,,, it’s high in the hierarchy right?”

do earls throw parties i have no idea i can’t remember anything from black butler

you ask where the other guys were and so daehwi leads you to them without hesitation

“lIL SIB!!!111!!11!111″

fuck

its “protective” sibling seongwoo!!

“lmao let go seongwoo” duke! daniel says

seongwoo pouts

the boys tell you their identities one by one as requested from you!

jisung and minhyun were barons, sungwoon’s a country farmer, seongwoo was of course the son of a lord, jaehwan was a duke along with daniel, jihoon and woojin were thieves (phantom thief! au anyone? 👀), baejin was a knight, daehwi was an earl and guanlin....

“you guys have it all good buT I’M A BUTLER???? HELLO???”

y'all burst into laughter

the party was gREAT

THE BUNCH OF YOU BASICALLY HUNG AROUND THE SNACK TABLE THE WHOLE PARTY

UNTIL YOU WERE ALLOWED TO BREAK CHARACTER AND DANCE LINE MADE A BEELINE FOR THE DANCE FLOOR

then it neared midnight

and everyone was wondering when someone would flop dead

then it hit midnight exactly

and an arrow came flying in through the window

and hit someone on the chest

biTCH WHAT THE FUCK

THAT SCARED ME LOL

THAT MUST BE THE DEATH FOR THE NIGHT

and so y’all buzz over to the victim

buT

THE ARROW AND BLOOD LOOKS SO REALISTIC??

sungwoon mutters,

“that’s not real blood is it? why does it look so real this year”

seongwoo pushes through the crowd and sniffs the blood for sungwoon lol

expecting it to be fake

but his eyes popped wide when

“thiS SMELLS LIKE REAL BLOOD???”

HOLY SHIT

“IS SHE BREATHING???”

“NO???”

FUCK

ABANDON EVERYTHING

LEAVE THIS PLA C E

REAL MURDERER ON THE LOOSE

CALL THE COPS SDUGBISB

someone does but it was raining real hard and the traffic was screwed up due to some crash

it’s gonna take the cops ages to arrive

shIT Y’ALL SCREWED

Y’ALL AIN’T GOING OUT IN THE RAIN IN THE HEAVY ASS COSTUMES

UNI DORMS WERE MILES AWAY

ALSO THINK OF THE PRICE TO GET IT DRY CLEANED

AND THE DEAD PERSON WAS EXPOSED AS THE REAL HOST OF THE MURDER MYSTERY PARTY

AS WELL AS THE MURDERER OF THE NIGHT

YOU WENT THROUGH HER POCKETS AND FOUND THE MASTERLIST OF WHO WAS WHO

SHIT

for safety reasons, the party goers decide to stay in clusters

and try find the real murderer so you guys can lock them up and make sure they’re not gonna kill anyone anytime soon

you melt into wanna one’s group

they don’t question you because y’all a cute group of friends

but you guys decide to start from finding where the arrow came from

so you guys head outside (with some shotty umbrellas jisung found)

and head towards the general direction the arrow came from

seongwoo and his extra ass climbs a tree to “observe”

he stumbles upon this machine, timed for 12 on the dot

y’aLL GET GOOSEBUMPS

SEONGWOO’S GLOATING ABOUT IT ON THE WAY BACK INSIDE

“I’M SO TALENTED, I SHOULD BE A DETECTIVE”

“k”

back inside, you find the others cornering your dormmate

because they’re known for having a rivalry with the victim

but this is the “ oh my god i hate you but i also love you” kind of rivalry

the others didn’t know that though

you knew though

so you, being the hero you are, step in

wanna one trying to hold you back because

“stAY OUT OF TROUBLE Y/N”

“thAT’S DANGEROUS”

but you end up defending your dormmate anyways

it took a lot of persuasion on your part but

you didn’t do persuasive speeches for nothing during classes

and you end up successful

jihoon stepped in at some point to help you but that wasn’t the point

and everyone continues their search

until woojin finds this rather big muddy footprint on the marble floor

which obviously could only be there if someone went outside during the party

it hadn’t rained when the party started

and it couldn’t be any of the w1 squad

it was a different shoe size than what the 12 of you were wearing

then everyone started comparing the bottom of their shoes lmAO

it was a mess

jisung couldn’t take it anymore and just screamed at everyone

“SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! LETS JUST COMPARE ONE BY ONE OK???”

and that’s what everyone did

they came up one by one next to the print and guanlin squinted at their facial expressions to find anyone looking like they’ve just killed anyone lol

this continued until there were only a few people left

and the killer broke from pressure

he admitted that he had committed the crime

if he was gonna be exposed soon anyways, might as well admit it himself

“i was supposed to be the victim tonight, but i was the victim last year, and the year before that! it’s not fair that everyone else but me gets to have fun. i found out who the host was through multiple sources and begged her to change me for another role. but she shot me down without hesitation. i asked her why,,,, but she just looked at me coldly and said that i was only suited to be the victim. i,,,, got angry and lost control,,,,, i planned this tonight. i’m so sorry.”

he said with his head down

daniel sighed as he moved to hold the dude’s arms to his sides

“such a shame", he tuts

anD CUE THE COPS WHO BASICALLY DID NOTHING

WEE WOO WEE WOO

they show up and the murderer away

needless to say, the campus tradition was no longer continued

no one wanted to attend ever again

“hey guys, are you going next year?”

“hELL NAH”

here’s the late halloween special!!! sweats in 2.3k words

you can tell that i tried to finish it on time by how rushed the ending was,,,,,, it’s not my best aaaaa likE THE KILLER BROKE UNDER PRESSURE????? IM SO SHIT AT THIS. I’LL STICK WITH CRINGEY FLUFF FROM NOW WHE E ZES

also, my search history is filled with searches about the victorian era dsbvisb

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sorryparis-forihavesinned · 6 years ago

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DumbAss

I used to think I was smart, maybe I was and I’m doubting my memory. I worked so hard throughout middle school and high school. I worked and cared so much because I thought I was reaching for a goal that was going to make my life better. Turns out that goal was just another add on to all my problems. I wish I could go back, I wish I enjoyed it more, I wish I didn’t take it for granted and I wish I just was happy with what I had. But you never know what you have until it’s gone... I know, cliche but true though. I had no friends in high school, I worked, I slept, I drank and did my pills by myself. I was smart. I had good grade, I did well on tests, I had a good memory, I had a good gpa and teachers like me. Now, here I am, I can’t remember shit I did yesterday, I no little about history anymore and I’m beginning to lose interest in the one thing I loved, pop culture. Everything I say is wrong, I can hardly speak or pronounce words yet I’m 21 years old. Do you know how depressing that is? I can’t even fucking write anymore and while that was established at Lasell, it’s just gotten worse, and that’s all I wanted to do for so long in my life. I don’t know how I end up in these friendships where I allow them to walk all over me and make me feel worse about myself than I already do. My friends in high school did it, S did it at Lasell and now J here at Ringling. She’s everything I wish I was. Tall, beautiful, desirable, so so so smart, charismatic and charming I guess. At first I thought she was really funny, chill and genuinely had the same interests I had. But just like S, it turned into a more mean joking where I don’t know if she is actually joking or mad at me or not. She’ll call me disgusting if I like a food she doesn’t or a place that she doesn’t like. If I say any little piece of information wrong she yells at me calling me stupid and then has to fact check right there on the spot to call me out on my stupidity. This is always happens with friends. The friendship starts off strong and it fizzles out. They begin to get annoyed at me, get bored with me so they either lash out at me or ignore me. I get it, I’m a lot to handle and I don’t mean to be. So I shutdown and I shut myself away. I go into my room, lock the door and hide all day everyday. She really lashed out at me tonight. We were watching a show in her room and I got up to go get a drink from my bedroom and I hear her calling my name multiply times so i come back and ask, “what is going on” and she all frantic says, “theres a bug in my bed, im trying to see it, i cant find it i need your help omg” so as I stood by her light switches I turn one on. However, I turned the wrong switch on and that switch turns off everything so it turned off the tv and the Christmas lights. I didn’t mean to, it was an accident, I was trying to act fast so she could get the fucking bug. So she starts yelling, “you fucking idiot, omfg you’re such an asshole why would you do that, you’re such an asshole” So I stood there shocked and said, “yeah because I did that on purpose” and then she yells “i need to get up, get out, get out so i can get up, get out” (she was in a towel from her shower) so I got up and went to my room because if she was that pissed at me then why the fuck would you want to hang out with me after I fucked up? So, then a couple minutes later I hear her yell in an annoyed voice “are you seriously going into your room?” and then she texts me on how I was being ridiculous and how gay it is for me to go into my room for the rest of the night. She literally minutes ago just called me an idiot and an asshole and I’m supposed to just be okay with that and be like “okay lets continue the show, love ya sis!!” like no. I went back anyways just so i didn’t have to hear it. I drank my vodka and watched the show in silence. When it ended she had the nerve to turn to me and in a bitchy tone say “so what are we going do with this, are you just going to ignore it and act like it didn’t happen” and me, pissed off responded with “well, im sorry I turned the wrong fucking switch off” and then she went on about how she said sorry and she didn’t mean to freak out on me. So I made it known that it’s piled up over the past month or so and she blames that she is just tired all the time. I’m fine with her being tired and I knew this was going to happen the further she gets into her major and I told her that and I told her its fine if you’re bitchy because shes tired. She tried to play good cop saying that I don’t have to take her bitchiness like her being tired isn’t an excuse. But we all know it is, she wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t. I just want to go home, which sounds fucked considering how bad it is at home. I’m sick of the people here, I’m tired of being in my apartment depressed because of J all the time, I miss the north, I miss my dog and my mom, I miss not having stress or work or shitty professors. I’m dealing with so much, I can’t handle it anymore. Everything around me is falling apart and no one cares. We live in an era where you can be on social media talking about mental illness and supporting those who have it yet in real life no one gives a shit, people will shit on you for having issues, they don’t actually care, it’s all just an act. I’m so alone here, I’m getting closer to that line. I think about stepping in front the ongoing trucks when I walk to class, I think about drinking my entire bottle of vodka or taking all the pills I have in this room. Sometimes I’ll have moments where I’m not afraid and I want to so bad and then I have the moments where I’m too afraid. Not like anyone would care. J doesn’t give a shit about death, my dad and brother are high all the time so they won’t even give a shit. no one cares. i care so much and im living in a world where no one else gives a fuck. and I try, I fucking try to stop caring but i can’t, i fucking can’t and i hate myself for it. I just want to go back, I want to go back and change everything, i wish i could do it all again. There’s a reason why I don’t talk, there’s a reason why i’m not confident, there’s a reason why i’d rather sit in my bed all day, everyday. I don’t want to be around people anymore, I know I’m dumb therefore I don’t want to give people ammo by what I say and how stupid i say it. I grew up with a father who called me fat ass, disgusting, ugly from the age of 4 to the age of 16. i was beaten by him majority of my childhood and talked down to every time i opened my mouth. My brother would make sure I knew I was stupid when I opened my mouth. my sister beat me growing up. i saw death at such a young age and experienced failure. things happened to me that no one knows, things that i can’t even say outloud things that I haven’t come to terms with. things that have just recently, this year, have come back up in my head. things i chose to forget. i just want time to pause. i want people to understand and to listen. i think i’m finally beginning to understand it. i’m understanding why, now, why they did it. why they chose heroin, i understand. i can’t even handle 21 years of this life and my father handled 50 years of this before doing it. it’s just something to take this pain away. i know this pain and its so dark, so painful and tiring. if i knew, i would. i forgive. i forgive them, i forgive them. i understand now. if i could do the same i would. im dying inside, i feel it everday. my chest hurts and my heart tightens under my left breast. i keep getting bad nose bleeds, i get light headed. it’s taken its toll.

I’m sorry

0 notes

numberonetrashcollectorus-blog · 6 years ago

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Chicago Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60647

"Chicago Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60647

Chicago Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60647

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I don't own a car, was involved in a wetreckless, and need good, cheap car insurance, can anyone help?!!?""

Insurance Coverage?

HI I was in accident about 5 Month ago..I was seen by a doctors but I stopped going becuase I didn't have that much pain. Now I started having all this pain on my legs..so My question is, if I go see a doctor now, does my insurance covers it. Thank you for your advice..""

Crazy car insurance!!!??? advice please?

how on earth do young drivers these days manage to afford car insurance! my son is 19 and has his provisional licence. we were hoping to buy a car for him and the lowest quote we have for insurance is for 1,900!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how on earth do young people manage! does anyone know of a way round this??? we just want him to be safe and legal! advice please? all answers greatly appreciated.""

Insurance for first timer? UK?

What would the insurance be on these cars for a 17 year old in the United Kingdom, roughly, and do you now any other cars that are like these, and are resonably cheap in insurance please Farlady 350z or 370z Skyline r33 gts Subaru inpreza 2.0 I was also thinking the mazda rx8, but i see that it has a rotary engine and also only has 20mpg, is that true? Thanks Mike""

What happens if you get denied life insurance?

Im 17 and pregnant where can i get affordable prenatal care in las vegas?

i dont yet have medicaid because my mom needs to take me off of her insurance...i just need to know where i can get either free or affordable prenatal care in las vegas...i dont need ...show more

If i have liability insurance and i hit a car but the car leaves the accident will my insurance pay?

I have liability car insurance and the other day a car pulled over in my lane and just stopped i ran into the back of her smashed the front end of my car(non driveable) the police said it wasn't my fault and the other car just left right after it happened. Will my insurance pay for my car?????

Chicago Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60647

Companies and their insurance for employees?

A company I work for has insurance. I have very expensive medicine and the insurance would pay most of it. my question is IF I GET THE INSURANCE WILL THE EMPLOYEES OF THE COMPANY I WORK FOR AND MY BOSSES KNOW WHAT I USE THE INSURANCE FOR? WILL THEY KNOW WHAT MEDICINES I TAKE THAT THE INSURANCE PAY FOR?

What's the best car insurance?

im looking for a car insurance that's cheap (affordable) so which one is the best one? That covers what the DVM ask for

Is it true you dont need a license or insurance to drive a scooter?

Im interested in buying a scooter because i have heard you dont need a license or insurance to drive one. I need a way to get to work easier (right now i take the bus) and i cant afford any kind of insurance right now. I dont have a car and i dont have a drivers license. Plus from what i have seen scooters are way cheaper then cars. why dont you need a license for a scooter and what is the difference between a scooter and a moped? I think i read you DO need a license for a moped but not a scooter.

How much does a root canal cost with insurance?

I do not have insurance right now. I went to the dentist's office recently and was informed that I have two wisdom teeth grown in. I have a job that offers dental insurance but I have to wait 3 more months to receive this benefit. I don't know if I should wait a few more months and pay less to get my wisdom teeth removed or if I should get it treated now and pay over $2,000 for 2 root canals and make a monthly payment of $200 for 12 months. How much would I save and pay if I were to get 2 root canals with dental insurance?""

Student health insurance and graduation?

I purchased a years worth of student health insurance (aetna/chickering), but I am graduating right now..(late December). What happens now ? Will my insurance be canceled or will be cut if the unthinkable happens and the clinic tries to verify my insurance ?""

""Young drivers (in your early 20), how much are you paying for car insurance?""

Young drivers (in your early 20), how much are you paying for car insurance?""

Do union workers at car companies really make too much? Is health insurance a factor?

What is the difference between america and Japan? How much do Japanese workers make and what type of health coverage (if any) do they get?

Whats an estimate for car insurance for an 18 yr. old female?

No prior driving or anything Not in school(if that matters) What would be the best insurance in your opinion?

Home owners insurance?

I was wondering why insurance adjusters don't bring out in-fared while checking for home damage?? after all we pay for the insurance don't they have to look for the damage and have to be honest...

Car insurance! please help!!?

I am in the U.K. I need car insurance where i can send a cheque or postal order as i dont have a bank account. Can someone please help and recommend someone who will accept a cheque. I cannot pay online.......thank u

Shipping insurance? ?

I am selling my ipod on ebay. It will probably sell around $175-$200. I want to offer shipping insurance. How much should I say it is? Is there an actual percent?

Will this lower my insurance?

Im looking at cars to buy for my first car and I was wondering what the insurance cost would be like for a 16 almost 17 year old female for a 1979's 1980's camaro I also maintain a high gpa and get a discount for it aswell and live in las vegas.

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in london riding a 125 motorbike ? (around)?

License in insurance?

What would it be for? How would I go about obtaining one, and is it a solid field to get into? I currently work in member service for health insurance and am looking into getting into a different type, but I see a lot require a license in insurance.""

Cheap auto insurance in gresham/portland oregon?

I just moved to Gresham, OR from the Dallas, TX area. I am a 19 year old female who has been driving for over 2 years and has never gotten in a wreck. In Texas I had auto insurance for $88 a month from a local independently owned company. All the quotes I am getting from popular companies here are unbelievably high. Does anyone know of any cheap independently owned companies in the Gresham/Portland Oregon area. I'm trying to shoot for my insurance to be under $100 a month. Please let me know, thanks.""

2000 grand prix insurance?

how much would it cost a 16 yr old to insure on a 4 door 2000 grand prix GT. we have statefarm and are just trying to get an idea of the price. he has good grades and took the driving class also.

Which is the best medical insurance ?

Can any one suggest a good medical insurance company and plan

I got an unbelievably low quote from Response Wordwide Auto Insurance.Should I switch from StateFarm?

Their quote is about 1/2 that of all others

""How much is the fine when a cop pull you over and dont have licence,insurance and tags!?

My uncle got pull over by a cop and gave him a fine without taking his car away(he got lucky) he didnt have a license or insurance and somebody stole his tag! he's not a resident or a citizen somebody know how much is that fine????he still have to go court but i wonder how much is going to be????

""Car insurance for 2 people, is it cheaper to insure 2 seperate cars or 1 ?""

So 1 car each, or one between 2 people..... which one would generally be cheaper ?""

Which auto insurance providers do not use credit rating as a factor in determining rates?

I'm 28. No accidents, no tickets. I work from home. Go to school online. Car is garaged kept, old and driven only a few times a week, within 3 miles of home. I'm in no way a danger or menace to society. Through mistakes (ages 18-24) I have bad credit. Current insurance, paid 6 mos in advance is coming up for renewal, and has risen due to bad credit. I do not think I fit the criteria of high risk in terms of claims or bad driving.""

My Insurance Rates More Than Doubled After Moving To Florida?

Auto rates doubled, homeowners is about five times more than Virginia. What is up with this? Has anyone experienced changing to Florida and getting hit with high insurance rates, seems lilke for everything, including boats. Why so much more? I know about hurricanes, but this is ridiculous,.""

Does my husband have to be on my car insurance?

I live in the State of Texas. Does my husband have to be on my car insurance??

Would it be ok to lower my auto insurance coverage?

I live on disability income -SSDI. This is my only income. I have no savings or other money, just my personal belongings (12 yr. old car, furniture, some jewelry, etc.) I rent an apartment. I am thinking of lowering my insurance costs by reducing the coverage amounts, which are very high right now. If I had an 'at fault' accident that exceeded my insurance coverage what assets could I be sued for by the other party?""

""When getting an auto insurance quote, can you lie?""

if you lie to get discounts, can they find out and do anything? i'm about to buy new insurance, and they ask if you had any violations in the past 6 months, and i do, but if i skip that part, can i get in trouble? also do they do a background check if you say your a good student when you don't go to school at all?""

Chicago Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 60647

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