#im honestly tempted to make a doc about this

[cyberniix]

I do not trust anyone who hates any of the "main" (Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Ford) (Honorary mention: Fiddleford) GF character's i'm ngl

The GF fandom's constant demonization of complicated characters for daring to make (very human) mistakes is insane. They would much rather defend the morally worst character in the show (Bill) than accept that sometimes teenagers make mistakes. (A good example is everyone shifting the blame for weirdmageddon onto Mabel, or Dipper wanting to stay in Gravity Falls)

I could go on and on about this for HOURS about specific characters, especially Ford & Fiddleford, but I'll save that rant for another day when it isn't 7am 😒

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.

[qoldenskies]

Taking a break from homework to ask 11, 12, and 30 from that ask game you reblogged (I’m super super interested in the way other people go about writing their fics lolol 🙏)

YIPPEEEEE

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

truthfully it kind of depends! whenever i write i tend to have The Scene in mind and if i get impatient i'll usually write it, but i try to avoid doing it because i notice it messes with flow (but flow and pacing is something im just very conscious of, even though i observe that because im writing it my brain is reading it faster/skimming so its partially a me problem LOL)

in caged lungs im skipping around only because im trying to go with a draft format instead of editing as i go, since its so long itll help when i see everything connected, and there's a few scenes i plan on changing/rewriting completely when i get it all out. technically everything ive posted up to this point is a first draft, and its a habit i hope to break !!

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

i doooo yes, its mostly just a list of things/interactions i know i want. for cvd i have plans for up to chapter 9/10 or so, and just a bunch of scripts/concepts for later. with canary continuity i have a description for each scene on the google doc and i just add the content in as i go, with my actual notepad (thing i discovered i had on my laptop and have been using liberally) i mostly have quotes and passages i want to put in the story

and also for cc in particular im keeping really close track of the motifs and how i want to work them back around. already thinking about the healing part of the arc and implanting scenes/chekhovs guns that are going to loop back around WAY down the line is very funny... i actually do some of this for cvd too, i love to write intentionally like that.... i am weirdly pretentious and earnest about my turtle fanfiction. people have no idea what im going to do with that lamp and i bide my time. also the clocks. and the laundry room. and the ocean (actually that one's fine its just a parallel). and the rooftop. and the cameras oh my god the cameras. i plan on committing so many horrors

really just things i know i WANT to be consistent with is the biggest thing i keep track of (although sometimes things will just pop up AS i'm writing and i roll with the punches, like the security system being a metaphor in coming undone, and also all of the very intentional trust fall parallels and the way it conveniently worked with the chapter names. fun fact for metaphors, i REALLY planned to expand on the chess thing between leo and donnie but it messed with the pacing so im keeping it for cvd.... ive got some ideas)

OH EXCEPT FOR THAT SEP AU IVE VAGUELY TALKED ABOUT. i have EVERY SINGLE chapter plotted out, its 52 chapters long. i am NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW its a far in the future thing. but its also the only au i have that isnt like,,, specifically canon divergent, so i wanted to pay close attention to how i set things up. 4 later (currently the working name for it is where we went wrong, after the song by the hush sound, and honestly im tempted to keep it because it makes the acronym wwww which is beautifully ironic because they take NOTHING BUT LS ITS JUST ONE AFTER ANOTHER OH MY GOD)

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

OH I KIND OF ALREADY ANSWERED THIS ABOVE OOPS. im trying to break out of the habit but i mostly just grammar correct through google docs and then throw out the first draft haphazardly, and it can kinda come off polished anyway because i tend to edit as i go. sometimes it means i'll fix mistakes in fics like a month after releasing them, impatience is my Weakness

wow i yap a lot LMFAO the yapperrrr

[hermesserpent-stuff]

i adore accidental nephew so i'm happy to send in some questions ^_^ so you know the poll you made regarding who'd find out peter is spider-man next? since electro won, are you considering adding that as a plot point in the future of cascading smoke? although i am a bit biased towards electro (voted for him and he's my fave lol) - i'm curious to see what it would be like if other characters found out as well. thank you and i'd love to hear ur thoughts!

Aww thanks! Im so glad you like it!!

That poll was mostly to see interest but did have some influence on my planning.

Okay! Plot talk. as we see in that first chapter, Tombstone gets to find out next. so there will probably be a period of readjustment after that and then, quite honestly, I really really want Elctro to find out. Him finding out is the ultimate cascade (ha get it?)

so spoiler thoughts underneath cause this is my legit plan as of today for this thread of fate

Thanks for asking! Fun to get these ideas in to the public

so electro finds out through peter slipping up. not sure how exactly yet. might be something either like tinks or tombs discovery. BUT important!! This happens around most of Peters uncles.

electro freaks out. This kid needs to be kept safe! why is no one stopping him?! he's going to die if he keeps being spiderman. Electro tries to bolt and tell ock, the only person he trusts to try and "save" peter from negligent uncles. Montana tackles him. and electro discovers a fun new power that is only possible because peter had allowed him more stability and control.

He is able to turn into a pure beam of electricity. he is able to escape into the nearby lightbulb. his limiters fall to the floor, rolling for a second, and clinking softly as they fall to the floor.

Peter feels terror at this. He knows electro is going to ock and he knows ock is going to do something with this information.

from there... well, i generally let the characters talk and make their own choices. which ig sounds strange. i dont control these peeps tho lol. ((half of my fave seens were characters taking over and making a choice against what I had in mind, *stares at the whole harry plot line*

as for others

ock: we saw something in hollow of what he really wants. but Montana ain't about to be okay with that ever.

Toomes: also very much wants peter of the street. this causes a big rift between him and peter. less willing than doc to actually do a kidnapping

rhino: very tempted to just bundle peter up and give him warm food and try to talk him out of fighting killers on the streets.

sandy: so worried. so concerned. but lowkey agrees with montana's approach

[atherix]

OHHOHO *cracks knuckles* time to invoke brainrot 😌

Why choose? Why force yourself to come between these wonderful ideas. You can think of both! Brainrot both! Let them flourish. Whats stopping you really :] aside from countless other projects but thats besides the point

Nothing like the need to prove yourself, and show everyone you're more then the shadows cast by your predecessors huh :D But can you imagine the absolute dismissal of talent he gets here? No one believes he's earned his role, no one gives him the benefit of the doubt. Rumors and grudges held in higher regard then scar himself <3 *looks at scars self worth issues in your other aus* im sure that works out great :D

And hey, im gonna have to vote for the biggest critic and 'give him a chance' if only for drama and character development, because im a sucker for these messy gays <33

When i tell you i speed-ran this ohmygod

-🍂

Ah my beautiful 🍂 anon, being absolutely none of my self control ❤️

Don't tempt me I will make as many AUs as my brain can handle 👀

But yes. The struggle. The self worth issues. The desire to prove he's more than his father's son 👀 also if he's new to the movie scene. Probably some folks would feel pretty bitter about being passed up 👀

Add a little more angst to the mix, little Scar used to love watching the movies from the Hotguy franchise. His father maybe wasn't home a lot, and maybe he was pretty distant with Scar. So maybe Scar liked to watch the movies his father was in, because Hotguy was everything his father really wasn't. Hotguy was the kind of dad to his movie children that Scar's father never was to him, and Scar looked at Hotguy and liked to think, "that's my dad." Because Hotguy was the ideal father on screen that Scar always wanted but never had, because his father was always too busy for him.

And these movies have shaped Scar to be the man he is today; kind and optimistic, giving and the best father figure any child could ever want or need. Gentle but protective when necessary, willing to step in when someone needs help. Of course he knows Hotguy wasn't real, but by god was Hotguy so important to him.

So when he found out they were making a reboot, with a new story and new characters to better reflect the modern age (for example, Hotguy in the 80s worked alone, but now Cuteguy has been added in as both a sidekick and sort of love interest for Hotguy) he decided to try out for the part. He was already a small-time actor, having been in commercials and web series, and he's a very good shot with a bow. And the casting directors? Well, how could they not absolutely fall for the charms and talents of this man who is not only a good actor and skilled with a bow, but also lives his entire life by the values the original Hotguy portrayed; honesty, loyalty, kindness, helpful and loving?

Honestly, the fact that he looks like the original actor is a bonus.

But no one else on the set knows this. All they know is so-and-so got passed up for this guy who's never been on a movie set before. All they know is Scar has the same last name as the original actor. All they see is a legacy casting.

And oh man, Grian? Grian is cast as the new role of Cuteguy (sorry I refuse to call him Cuteboy lmao) and he is not happy to act alongside Scar, who he thinks definitely shouldn't have gotten the lead role. (Grian auditioned for Cuteguy but definitely thinks someone else should have gotten Hotguy)

Mumbo (who plays a scientist who gets kidnapped by the bad guys, played by Doc and Ren), on the other hand, has seen the webseries Scar was in and knows Scar is a good actor. While he definitely thinks Scar's father had something to do with it, he's much more willing to give the guy a chance to prove himself than Grian is.

Just. Mmmmm so many thoughts.

I love some good drama and angst and character development and an "Oh shit I was wrong" moment mmmm <3

[postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf]

As someone who mods for the popular rw confession blog on this site (least I assume its the most popular? Idk), my confession is that im sorry that pro-Az people are mad that their ask where they said Emily is a gross pedo that should kill themselves didn't make it through the anti-harassment rule. Its not our fault that Pro-Emily people know how to format their confessions to not be name-dropping dogshit and make it through. Most of the 'Vauge Az asks" got through because they were talking about how scared the situation made them feel, or about the side of the fandom they didn't like as a whole, which is not harassment or name-dropping. Sorry you read everything like its about your friend group, but someone saying they feel scared about teenagers harassing others in the fandom isn't automatically about just one guy believe it or not. Im not saying which side im on cuz it doesn't matter (and thats against our rules anyway), im just saying no one on the pro-az side knows how to silently say they dislike someone without being it being obvious and a huge dick.

We got rid of the 'You can talk about drama' rules weeks before the doc even came out, and asks from the time it was dropped haven't even posted yet (our queue is still submitting posts from July 10th.) Ya'll can stop whining in our inbox about how we post nothing but anti-Az asks, the last drama ask was posted months after the org drama ended and weeks before it started again.

Half tempted to @ your blog so people will stop trying to get their drama asks through /j. Your doing gods work on this blog and sorry for posting a huge rant in your inbox lol (also before anyone tries playing detective, im one of the quiet mods on the blog who never talks. Good luck)

"oh fuck I sure do wonder why I have 8 messages in my blog" looks inside how the fuck did anyone even find me. I literally just dusted off the blog to laugh at a really really bad document for a bit, guess uuuuuuh...... ok! (I did not, as they say expect the unexpected.)

I don't really know how to respond honestly. I mean the no harassment rule does fall apart after long enough and enough bullshit happening.

really hard to not harass people when those people are infuriating as all hell.

this isn't like, a "you should answer those asks" it's a "wow alot sure did happen, and it sucks that you have to sift through this stuff to pick out the stuff you can actually post."

and it really sucks that the pro-emily side is often the one that just, better follows the rules, I may be 100% on emily's side but like, a confessions blog is a confessions blog and I know how much it sucks to be shoved out of their without your ask ever getting answered.

but like, those rules have a reason. is it a good reason? yeah? also good on you for adding a 'no drama' rule, this shit is fucking toxic.

also I'd say you can edit the asks to make the fit the rules and repost them as anon but like...

that's alot of work! and I don't expect anyone to do that honestly. I wouldn't even do that. and I'm, actually insane.

---

onto the next ask...

oh god people not understanding what you mean, the blog this one is based off of (whom I'm not going to say because while I dislike them, they did say they didn't want to be affiliated with this blog so yeah lol) did that so, so much. but I get it, it's scary when someone has an opinion you don't like and says that their blog is based off of yours

honestly I think your blog is the gold standard for confession blogs, literally. it's always fun to scroll through and see what dumb shit people say just because they can, without worrying about the repercussions.

when I learned about your blog I instantly went "why the fuck am I doing this, this is already done, but better and more popular"

though I guess I've come to realize that I'm filling a different part of the niche. especially since you aren't really wanting to answer drama related asks, probably a good decision honestly.

I wish you luck with running the blog. it's a tedious process, especially when everyone just instantly went insane when they saw the document.

also Post Script;

that would be really hilarious if you @ my blog being just like "heeey, this fuck WILL answer your asks." and I'd be fine with doing it, especially if it makes wading through your inbox easier over time. though I completely understand not wanting to do that.

people read "this blog follows the harkness test" and think "oh, you must be a zoophile" when in reality, I'm an ao3 user and this shit is fucking lame compared to the stuff I've seen.

and your already getting a ton of angry people at your door for the crime of... having rules... and... following those rules...?

Post Post Script;

can I just say how fucking insane it is that I've gotten asks from both emily AND the real rainworld confessions???

90% of my asks used to be me just saying shit. I guess this is the thing that happens when you do this kind of thing.

Post Post Post Script;

seven red suns pronouns are 7/8/9 duh.

anyways, hope your having a fine day, this was an interesting way to start mine! and don't worry, you did post both of these with anon, I thankfully didn't have to gaze upon the true form of that which wishes to stay unknown.

[steelycunt]

hi!! i love your writing style so so much. do you have any tips??? thanks<33

hii darling!! ok ill be honest i have been staring at this in my inbox all day. firstly thank u so much!! i would never ever claim to b in any position to give writing advice to anybody because i never, ever know what i'm doing, but i will do the best i can!! sorry if this becomes a little generic :-)

-> very generic, i know, but!! reading really is so so important. like i know everyone says it, but that's because its true!! read fic by writers whose style you admire, read published literature by writers whose style you admire, because the more u do that the more u will pick up on why you think certain techniques/styles are so effective, u will be exposed to more techniques, u will expand your vocabulary, and all of that impacts ur writing!! have said this b4 but my style is 100% just a hastily patched together quilt of every writer's style that i've ever enjoyed. the same goes for writing honestly in as much as: both reading and writing consistently makes you a better writer. its inevitable!!

-> something i try to keep in mind a lot when im writing is the details in a scene!! and this comes purely down to personal choice and style, but i find it makes my scenes n settings a lot more vivid. just, like, the brief inclusion of small details about a scene, like a prop or something in the background. just little marks of humanity, even if they aren't massively relevant...they can also be very useful to reflect a character's mood/personality or heighten the atmosphere in a scene :-) using all the senses and bending language n metaphors n imagery...i think one of george orwell's writing tips was never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print, and i am no george orwell and i definitely break that rule more than i want to but i think it's a good aim to keep in mind :-)

-> everyone edits differently but i find redrafting from scratch sooo vital. which again is probably quite basic advice but honestly its such an important part of my writing process i cannot emphasize it enough hjahcjgdfsdbh the first draft is just getting it down! even if there are bits that don't work even if you're experimenting with ur prose and it doesn't always go the way u want, the first draft is the chance to do that. and then however happy i am with a scene, i will always open a blank doc and put them side by side and rewrite it--once immediately after finishing the scene, and once when i rewrite the entire fic as a whole. even scenes where i actually felt i was already pleased with them n i was tempted to just skip rewriting them, if you write it out from scratch rather than editing the existing text i find you end up having soo many more ideas and improving it in ways you weren't even thinking abt before. you cannot underestimate the transformation it will go through during a rewrite!! especially if there is something wrong with a scene and you don't quite know how to fix it.

i feel like those are the major things?? sorry if this was not helpful at all gfhcdgbfhdg but honestly!! just write and have fun writing and have fun trying things out and write things which are really vague and big-picture and write things which are sooo small and specific!! write loosely n dont think abt it too much because that can all come later!!

[habeascorpseus]

aahhwhaa i’d love to here or see anything on your favorite AUs or if you have any AUs!! :D

oh my god. you have no idea how many aus i have. i think my absolute favorite I've made so far is a figure skating 3rd Life au (i used to work at an ice rink and skate, it was awesome) centered around desert duo and grian learning what it means to have a friend, based on seeing and working with all these professional skaters who literally have been skating since they were three and have 0 friends because they were homeschooled and too busy training. in the end grian learns to appreciate the little things in life and also perhaps has a crush, but he's not even READY to face that. for now he just is dragged into various hijinks by his rinkmates getting crushes on each other or scar deciding to help him do all the little activities he never had time to do as a kid.

second favorite au ive made is a sort of fix it au where c!wilbur spawns in 3L after he dies on November 16th (no the timelines dont match up, yes, i dont care) and then entire "death game" part of 3L is immediately forgotten in favor of everyone fucking with the new guy a-la fake dating.(thanks hermbi server) wilbur hates grian because he reminds him of the worst parts of himself, but after Scott forces him to do desert duo exposure therapy, he accidentally mistakes them for married, and after that the entire server devolves into a series of elaborate pranks where they try to make wilbur believe each team is dating. at one point, wilbur believes that in the culture of third life, a green life killing someone makes them married to the person they've killed. this is my favorite thing ive written in relation to this au ↓

i have ALSO begun to WRITE a fic for an au where doc and awesamdude are long-lost brothers (or are they?) where doc meets sam one day in the multiplayer hub between servers (think wreck it ralph style) after they order very similar meals but accidentally get them mixed up, however, the orders are so unique they cant help but start up a conversation about it. afterwards, they become friends and start hanging out whenever they're traveling between servers. but as the months go on and they grow to be close friends, doc starts to wonder if maybe there's more to their friendship than meets the eye. i plan to have it start late season 1 and go all the way through to dream killing tommy, (and this time for some reason cannot revive him) after which it diverges from canon into some good old fashioned hermit!sam because i think he deserves to have a break and doc deserves to beg X for just this one favor, please, hes his brother-

also sam kills dream and loses a leg in the process. fun for the whole found family!

uhh last and most recent au i made was a jangler/sherlock grian au where grian is trying to hunt down, capture, and expose the identity of the elusive criminal, the jangler. on top of this, scar, his business rival, has stopped showing up to concorp meetings, making cub phone in grian to help solve the case. im still working on it but im honestly kind of tempted to make a moriarty stand in who is the Real threat. maybe EX? lmao. anyways thanks for letting me infodump about my aus. i very much enjoyed it

[kalloway]

Of all of your fanfic WIPs, which one are you looking forward to writing the most?

Oh gosh…WELL,

the plot twist here, Anon, is p much all of my WIPs are actually for the same thing… I just split them into a bunch of different documents so I didn’t have to scroll as far to find them :’DIt’s all mostly AoT related things, but i have some stuff from when I was super into Fire Emblem: Heroes I still like! Maybe someday I’ll finish those… that’d be nice, lmao(honestly after I finish JoJo I really wanna get back into AoT)

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[luminescentauthor]

Sora/Nao Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons!

Wow lookit me posting twice in one day!

Please read this post of HCs about their third year or this will make absolutely no sense to you! You can also read part two but it’s long and you don’t need to for this to make sense.

However, if you don’t want to read either of those, the run down is: Sora is cap, Mokichi vice; their year are all on first-name basis since around the end of second year; when people ask if any of the three boys are dating, all four of them just shrug and smile cryptically, because they got really sick of people asking; Nao briefly had a boyfriend named Nakamura but turned out he was just trying to get info on her team for his school so he cheated on her and the team rioted. Tobi and Madoka beat him up.)

This is four and a half pages of a Google Doc, so please see below the cut for the HCs!

Oh also btw this has minor Tobi/Mokichi because, hello, Tobi is living in my mind rent free and he’s not letting me evict him. (Even though I would really, really like to.)

In the middle of Sora and Nao's second year, the entire rest of the boys' team plus the girls' team made a pact not to interfere with Sora and Nao's relationship, and let them sort things out on their own, because some people were getting antsy and tempted to get involved. And they are... starting to regret that.

Tobi, especially, is starting to regret that, and he kind of wants to strangle them both because they're both so dense jfc-

Chiaki is the only one who doesn't know about the pact, since the fact that Nao likes Sora has been very carefully kept from him, and basically so is anything about Nao in general. There’s a pact on the team to make sure to keep such things from him. (Momoharu is the one responsible for this and he's not the least bit sorry. It’s saved him so much pain.)

Nao has been crushing on Sora since first year, and Sora not denying it when people ask if they're dating is NOT helping her feelings, good God.

She spends like a solid twenty minutes every day panicking and/or crying in the arms of one of her friends on the girls' team and/or Tobi.

He is arguably her closest friend on the team beyond Sora (read here for my post about why I think they’re friends), and has long since passed the point of sympathetic into "Oh my God just ask ‘im out, Jesus-" and honestly, so has pretty much everyone except Mokichi, but Mokichi has the patience of a saint.

Sora probably got over Madoka in his second year if he confessed to her (again) and she gently rejected him or if she found a boyfriend (read: Momoharu, probably. I dunno if they worked out, but if they didn’t they remained very good friends. Yes, that’s actually a thing people can do!) 

Some time passed, he was over it, and then he developed a more serious crush on Nao after a while.

And it just keeps getting worse and Sora is not thrilled with that. In fact, he's panicking, because feelings.

He's spent a grand total of at least nine hours on the phone ranting to Momoharu (because again, Nao does not get mentioned to Chiaki, so Momoharu it is!)

The entire rest of the team is suffering. First years, second years, Tobi and Mokichi, and those who have graduated. No one is spared. The girls' team has been roped in as well. More than a few people bond over sheer doneness with these two idiots.

Tobi, calling Momoharu: I wanna Die.

Momoharu: Mood, why?

Tobi: Nao ‘as the biggest crush on Sora and won’t do anythin’ about it and I'm sufferin’.

Momoharu: CHRIST, NO -- HE'S DOING THE SAME THING I’M -- WHY IS THIS MY LIFE???

Tobi: Oh my God.

Tobi: I hate them both so, so much.

Momoharu, vehemently: Mood.

Tobi and Mokichi are bearing the brunt of it, and Momoharu is also dealing with quite a lot of the bullsh*t.

Tobi, bitterly, lying on his bed while on the phone with Mokichi and Momoharu: How immoral is it to lock two of yer best friends in a broom closet or locker an’ not let ‘em out ‘til they deal with their feelins like adults?

Mokichi, tiredly: Kenji-kun, no.

Momoharu: I hate to say this because I would like to see that, and it would be very cathartic, but no because they would die in that closet before fessing up.

Tobi:

Tobi: I hate that yer prolly right.

Shigeyoshi "literal actual angel" Kaname has been dealing with ranting from both parties since second year, and he and Tobi have taken to meeting up weekly for lunch or coffee for the sole purpose of complaining about their dumbass friends, and honestly? They get a lot closer because of it.

Tobi, throwing open the door to Mokichi’s house with a bang: KANAME YA ARE NOT GOIN’ TO BELIEVE THIS SH*T-

Mokichi, exasperated, staring down at his phone with its messages from Sora: Oh, I’m pretty sure I will.

Mokichi’s sister: How do you keep getting in-

Tobi: Oh I nabbed Kaname’s key like three months back.

Mokichi: wAIT is that where that go to I thought I lost it?!

Tobi: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tobi gets roped into Sora's group of "people to rant to" with Mokichi and Momoharu and, at this point, Chiaki as well (Sora eventually told Chiaki, and Chiaki acted all comically betrayed but things were fine) (Momoharu mostly told people not to tell Chiaki in order to annoy Chiaki in all honesty.)

Tobi: Why the f*ck did I agree ta stay at this school

Mokichi: Why did I come to this school at all

Tobi: Why did I join tha basketball team

Tobi: Why did I let Sora become my friend

Tobi: How did I let Sora become my friend?????? Like how did tha’ even happen Jesus I'm still not sure

Mokichi: Poor decisions were made?

Tobi, vehemently: Poor decisions were made.

Then Nao gets a boyfriend and literally everything goes to sh*t (please read THIS POST for the context. It’s the same one I linked at the top. Again, this will make no sense without it. Go read.)

Nao is trying to get over her feelings for Sora because despite having no reason to believe so (having not... asked him about it), she firmly believes that he doesn't return them.

Mokichi has to actually physically restrain Tobi to prevent him from strangling them both on at least two occasions. Like seriously. Tobi might have really punched Sora if he hadn't been held back by local noodle-armed beanpole.

To this day absolutely none of the underclassmen (or Nao and Sora) are sure how Mokichi did that, because third-year Tobi is 180-something centimeters of pure wiry muscle and Mokichi, despite being a two-meter tall noodle, is still a noodle, and his arms are very very noodley.

Where he found the physical strength to restrain an angry Tobi is literally a complete mystery, because Tobi is strong to begin with but when you're trying to restrain his entire person from walking where he wants to? Good luck.

(The answer is he just wraps his longass noodle arms around Tobi and clings to him and is like "kay have fun dragging me around" and Tobi is like "ಠ_ಠ Kaname ya are heavy" "yes that is the point" "f*ck ya.")

Mokichi, whispering frantically on the phone: Momoharu-san please help Kenji-kun is trying to commit murder.

Tobi, yelling in the background: YA KNOW FULL WELL THA’ I CAN HEAR YA, KANAME!

Sora cries about Nao and Tobi is very tempted to just let him sulk, but Mokichi strongarms him into coming over to a sleepover at his house with Sora and basically the three of them just form a giant cuddle pile on the couch and watch stupid movies and eat a lot of ice cream while Tobi ribs Sora over anything and everything, and Sora soon finds himself laughing instead of crying.   

Sora loves his friends so much??? He’s so glad he stuck with the basketball team????  

Momoharu is this close to just blocking Sora's number.

"Sora. Sora you are one of my closest friends, and you know I love you, but I am in class for f*ck's sake-"

Seriously Sora keeps calling him just to b*tch about how horrible Nao's boyfriend is and Momoharu might actually go crazy.

If Sora drags on Nao’s boyfriend on more time Tobi is going to throttle him, he's had enough.

Mokichi is hitting the limits of his patience too, and that's actually an accomplishment.

But Tobi won’t lie, he’s getting a bad vibe off that guy? He does seem kind of sleazy? And when he hesitantly points that out over lunch with Mokichi -- they meet up just to complain about Nao and Sora at least once a week now -- Mokichi agrees, with a pensive frown, that he also has a bad vibe.

He doesn’t know, Mokichi says. Maybe they’re just all protective of Nao. Tobi sighs and agrees. 

Tobi is fully aware of his big brother reflex by this point, but he will never, ever admit that he has such a thing out loud. 

Turns out Sora was completely right about Nao’s boyfriend, though. (Even if it was just Sora being jealous, not actually Sora being intelligent.) The guy cheats on Nao, because he's a terrible person, and Sora is this close to hunting him down and committing murder, but he doesn't know what school he goes to.

Madoka calls Tobi to give him the guy's location, and Tobi goes, "please don' tell Sora tha's a bad idea" and Madoka goes "do you think I'm insane??"

Tobi and Madoka then absolutely thrash the guy and then get coffee afterwards and bond over oh my god, our friends are so dumb, because Madoka has been putting up with Nao's rants since first year.

Eventually Sora and the rest of the team convince (the very easily convinced) Tobi to give up the idiot's location and they all take a trip to beat the crap out of him.

Madoka then joins the I Have Pining Idiot Friends support group, which consists of Tobi, Mokichi, and Momoharu.

It's actually Madoka who finally decides to break the "no interfering" pact, after hearing about the sheer extent of the bullsh*t that's been happening, the parts that Nao didn't mention to her. She calls Sora and very tiredly goes "please just ask Nao-chan out, everyone is suffering."

Sora: wHAT

Tobi, eavesdropping as they're all changing: She told ya to ask Nao out

Tobi: Or I'm goin’ to deck ya I stg -- my patience is a very much finite resource, Sora.

Mokichi, tiredly: Please don't kill our captain

Tobi, ignoring him: Sora I am dead serious. Ask her out, or I will break yer nose, consequences be damned.

Tobi is So Relieved that the pact is over. He knew he'd catch grief for it if he broke it, and the second Madoka does, his reaction is "TIME TO PHYSICALLY THREATEN SORA INTO CONFESSING! YAY!"

Tobi, no.

Madoka is wheezing somewhere in the background but is also in full support of this movement.

After a large number of threats, Sora, bright red, stutters through asking Nao out to the amusement park or something, and Nao, also bright red, screams "WHAT" and Sora goes "Uh -- God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" and goes to run.

And smacks directly into Mokichi who's like, "Uh, no, you're going nowhere. I am so done."

Tobi, internally: Oh thank God fer Kaname.

Nao, still a tomato, manages to squeak out "I'd love to!"

After Sora and Nao get through the "Really?!" "Really!" part, Tobi dramatically falls to his knees and yells "THANK F*CKING GOD, FINALLY," which, fair.

(And as Sora and Nao are stuttering through a semi-normal conversation after that, maybe Mokichi is in the background, shyly asking Tobi out for coffee without the excuse of talking about Sora and Nao, because maybe their relationship went from "I don't want people to think we're friends" to "I guess you're decent" to "we're friends" to something unnamed and fragile and delicate and maybe a little bit precious. And maybe when Tobi leans against his shoulder and Mokichi wraps an arm around his waist at practice, no one is surprised.)

It's on their third date, in a park after going to a cafe, when Nao abruptly asks, "Sora-kun, can I kiss you?"

Sora short circuits (again.) And Nao freezes up and goes, "Sorry, sorry, too soon, I'm so sorry-" and Sora freaks out and goes, "NO, NO IT'S FINE, I was just -- just surprised!"

They both calm down and take deep breaths, and then Sora steps closer and gently cups the back of her head as her eyes go wide and he asks, "is this okay?" She nods and nervously places one hand around his neck. They lean into each other and kiss softly, and it feels right.

They’re both bright red but they’re both smiling like idiots, and Sora holds her close and thinks, “Godd*mn I got lucky.” He whispers that to her, and she laughs, flustered, and says “Yeah, I did too.”

After six weeks or so of going out, Nao and Sora make it a "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing and now if Mokichi or Tobi are asked if they're dating Nao, they say that she's dating Sora; Nao blushes and shyly corrects the person if they asked about Mokichi/Tobi, or shyly confirms if it was about Sora; Sora just smiles, and confirms that he's dating Nao, blushing.

Mokichi invites Momoharu, Madoka, and Chiaki to lunch with the third years when they have a day off from practice for the sole purpose of giving Nao and Sora a hard time about their mutual pining

Tobi swears up and down that he's going to read out the most embarrassing speech at their wedding and expose them to everyone there, and Nao and Sora both turn bright red and short circuit for a solid five minutes at the mention of marriage while the others laugh at them.

At the end of the year, Nao and Sora receive a trophy from their kouhai that says "Most Disastrous Couple Ever." Tobi and Mokichi didn't stop laughing for a solid twenty minutes, and Tobi is still giving them sh*t about the trophy five years later.

They both attend university and maintain their relationship throughout. Sora proposes when they’re both 29, at the same park where they had their first kiss, on the anniversary of the day they met, because he’s sappy AF. Tobi is rolling his eyes somewhere in the background. 

It’s a warm summer night. They get dinner at an expensive formal restaurant. He takes her to the park, and reminisces about the first time they went there together. It was the day Nao joined the team, he recalls. She had left after the practice game, and he had followed her. He had been so impressed by her, he tells her, and he still is. He doesn’t know how he came to deserve her, and she blushes and says she feels the same about him, that he’s just as amazing.

Sora covers her eyes and leads her to a ring of trees in the middle of the park, and uncovers them to reveal that they’re standing in a gazebo covered in flowers and fairy lights. And he smiles at her, and gets down on one knee. Nao’s hands fly to her mouth as he says, “I have been in love with you for well over ten years, and I would like to call you my family officially. Nanao Nao, my light, the love of my life, my everything, will you marry me?”

“Of course I will, you big sap!” she cries, tackling him, tears in her eyes, and kisses him. Neither of them care that they’re getting dirt on their suit and dress; the only thing that matters to either of them is each other. 

They get married roughly a year after. Madoka is Nao’s maid of honor. Sora’s best man is probably Momoharu, Tobi, or Mokichi. Maybe Chiaki? I don’t know. 

I almost want to make it Momoharu just because he would first completely drag Sora and Nao for their bullsh*t back in high school, grinning, and then invite Tobi up on stage to polish it off. Tobi, on the other hand, would just roast them on his own, which is probably why Sora decides not to make Tobi his best man. (“I trusted you, Momoharu-kun!” “Well that’s on you, Sora.”)

(And if Tobi catches the bouquet and gives it to Mokichi, no one’s saying anything.)

(They will, however, be saying things when Tobi gets down on one knee in the center of the dance floor an hour into the reception and says, “Given that our relationship was formed by bondin’ over these two idiots takin’ two and a half years ta get together, it only seems right that we tie tha knot because they did too. Kaname, will ya marry me?” Mokichi cries and says yes. Nao and Sora also cry. Yes, Tobi got their permission to steal their thunder beforehand. He was sorely tempted not to, just to get back at them, because yes he’s still salty about high school, but he figured he’d better ask.)

When they’re about 38, they adopt a daughter! And yes the others are her aunts and uncles.

Her name is Akari, which means light, and she is a problem child, but she's definitely not Tobi/Hanazono twins levels of problem child, and they love her anyway.

Her name is Nanao-Kurumatani Akari, because screw gender norms, says Sora. Nao’s reaction is “oh my God I love you so much.”

She was about 5 when they adopted her.

Her favorite uncle/aunt is Mokichi (absolutely no one understands why including Mokichi himself) and yes Tobi is mad.

Also Tobi adores her. Tobi sees a small child? Are you kidding me, have you seen him with his sister? Tobi seems like he'd be with horrible with kids but he loves the little sh*ts.

She plays basketball as a PF and she is so tall and yes, Sora is salty.

Scoring machine and inside player, but also learned strategy from Nao (after a terrible loss, she asked her mother to teacher her) and.... fear.jpg.

Basically, Sora and Nao are the most tooth-rotting-ly sweet, romantic, cliché in the best way, sappy, and adorable couple ever, and it’s bad for everyone’s dentist bills.

Here’s a Sora/Tobi edition (I apologize to SoraNao shippers because it’s twice as long and I didn’t even realize that for ages), because again, I have Tobi brainrot. God help me.

You can also check out my Ahiru no Sora Headcanons tag.

[graffitibible]

how do churn out fics so quickly? i feel like every month there's a new 35k word chapter out, meanwhile i've written 3 words on an empty doc 🤣 do you spend like 5 hours per day writing or are you just super fast?

OKAY REAL ANSWER 

basically, writing is very baked into my everyday schedule at this point lol. it was admittedly way easier before all this quarantine business started - my work gives me an hour long lunch and it takes me like 5 minutes to eat it and with virtually nothing else to do i just started bringing my laptop to work and banging out words there. now that my work hours have been drastically reduced, it’s harder for me to stay on task - i can bang out 3k words one day and only edit a stray sentence on another with no consistency whatsoever. 

i’m BIG on routine, so working writing into my daily routine more or less “tricks” me into being hyper-productive on it. there are certain periods in the day when im more productive, like the aforementioned long-ass lunch hour, but also like, when im making dinner or something. ive got to sit near the stove for like 30 minutes while im cooking some shit up to eat so thats thirty minutes to do some plot outlining or dialogue threading or editing or plain old writing. its not a whole lot of time but like when im working in my lunch hour, it works for me because its this window where i can trick myself into a burst of productivity in a condensed time frame without browbeating myself for not fulfilling a nonexistent standard. the amount of stuff i get done in those timeframes will honestly vary - sometimes its a paragraph and sometimes its a page. 

it also helps me personally to keep all my writing in textedit instead of a document that has an accessible wordcount or page count, so that way im not stressing about the length of the thing. this is also how i end up with like. 70k words crammed in one chapter and my pacing is SHIT because of it so thats not a sure thing by any means.

some people do daily wordcounts, which is a trick i do to keep myself working on my original fiction (i make myself write 200 words of original fiction per day, minimum. 200 shitty words isnt very much, and even if its not great, its some progress that i can go back to later.) but i dont apply the same tactic to fic, in part because i dont want my daily wordcount to feel overwhelming. 200 words is a simple, accessible goal for me even on days when im feeling like shit, and if i fall behind a day or two, its not an insurmountable barrier to overcome. its a good trick to kinda spur your brain into productivity. the downside to this is that youre basically playing a long con with yourself and theres a big chance that youll burn out on the project if youre stuck too long on it - ive been doing “200 words a day” for years at this point and ive written A Lot Of Stuff but not a lot of it is very refined because its a lot of words i have to go back and edit down.

wrt fic, i basically have multiple word docs open at all times so that they’re there and i can always turn things over in my head. this can sometimes feel like a big fucking “YOURE NOT DOING ENOUGH YOURE NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE” sword of damocles so that can be a double-edged thing that aint always so great. it usually works for me because its a good way to kickstart spontaneous bursts of creativity. ill always have these windows open, idly click into one, and go “oh hey thats a good sentence that ties in with this sentence” and then im writing again before im doing much active thought about it. if i spend too much time hyping myself up about “god i gotta get this done i have to do this now” then i start to dread the task so i try to eliminate that window whenever i can. 

LONG ANSWER IM SORRY. it comes down to me knowing my habits and my brain quirks and figuring out how to work with them as best as i can. im a routine-based person, so i built writing into my routine. i have memory issues, so if i get ideas at an inconvenient time i write em down to go back to em later. when executive dysfunction makes just starting to write feel insurmountable, i go back to what i wrote earlier and do editing instead. when im grappling with self-esteem and self-worth and i feel like my writing is flagging, i circle back to works i enjoy, both fanfic and published fiction, and study the writing styles of writers i admire for inspiration.

this is stuff that works for me personally! obviously every person is different and what works for some people aint gonna work for everybody. motivation issues are no fucking joke. its super tempting to like compare your pace of productivity to other peoples but honestly thatll just get you down. especially given current global events like, im lucky ive managed to be relatively productive during a Fucking Pandemic but some people wont be and that is COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE, GIVEN THINGS. even then im certainly no stephen king. though i am also no george rr martin. in fact i think we can all take comfort in the fact that we are not george rr martin.

[riskeith]

hihi! <333

it didn’t stay for long but then it started snowing a lot again and this time it seems like it will stick.. dude crazy how different our climates are rn.. i can only imagine how warm it is rn in aus. no worries! there’s always a tomorrow after today :DDD my days has been nothing but stressing over school and exams, watching haikyuu, playing genshin and thinking about you (sry i have to flirt can’t help it 😜) wbu?

i do have her, i meant hypothetically ! also THE DILUC COMIC IS SO SPOT ON gosh that’s so funny shhdkdhdjdjdj that happened with my boy bennett he just... can’t light those torches... bouken da bouken... 3: gotta bring out amber for that task tbh.

traveller is such a op!! from what i gather people sleep on them because they’re free and there are “more” exciting characters but traveller is a five star!!! put some respect on their name 😤 to each their own, but yk. underrated baby.

YEAH PRO BENDERS!!!!!!! well.. they’re on opposite teams and something happens at an important match of theirs so they’re forced to link up to survive and well.. yeah 😌 i’ve written about 20k words and i’m not even half done with the story help... i really wanna finish it though... anyway yes i do write shdksjdksjdk at first i was too shy to bring it up but you know so much about me already might as well.. 😶 i’ve written for years but i only started posting seriously again after years of not doing it in 2020... i have a couple out actually !! shsjdjhdjdjd not a lot of klance but some bnha ! 🥺 maybe someday i’ll share... 🥺

this connects a bit with this ^ part above as well i suppose. it was incredibly freeing ! it was actually the best thing i’ve done to myself.. idk i realized that that life was just dragging me down so much... always being connected and knowing everything all the time drained me so much. then i just cut everything out and found myself??? this sounds so generic but it’s true jshsjjsisjfj if it’s something you’ve thought about i truly recommend it!!! it takes some time to get used to the silence but god when you do it’s so relaxing. it’s like... so fun hanging out with yourself. i got into so many shows and watched so much movies and stuff by myself and made my own memories and i treasure that so much. shdhdkdhkssj this got so deep..... freelance writing do be like that. you can’t force it you just gotta let it come to you. but looking at your posting list you’re super consistent and it’s always quality fics so don’t feel too bad!! here’s an outside view telling you that you’re doing super well... <333

COUPLES THAT FIGHT TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER. yea they fucking do. look at us being todobaku kinnies... dhsjdhkshsksjdhdkd LMAO. GOD SERIOUSLY AAAA??????? wait 😭😭 venti baby is coming home..... he is coming home!! 😭😭😭😭 i’ve thought about it seriously and i’d happily pay money to have him his fighting style is just soooo good... 🥺 imagine if we had xiao and venti that would be so sexy of us. manifesting it all day every day. you know i would happily give some financial support for your xiao pulls... if it comes down to it <333333 i haven’t read anything either i haven’t thought much about shipping while playing tbh shksdhksshdk maybe someday for fun tho.. also i had no idea!!!! i’m def gonna check it out, is it on their website?

if they announced a movie and it was a prequel... i’d be so upset. like... so fucking upset lmao. there are so many unresolved loose ends it would be so annoying... but truthfully i don’t think they’ll do it. voltron took to hard of a hit for them to pull a move like that lmao .

hmmmm it’s true that studio ghibli movies end too fast.. one moment you’re like... in this amazing beautiful world and the next there are end credits. haku is BESTEST boy. dragon king.... <3333 you’re going on a studio ghibli marathon??? how beautiful of you. <3

🥺 ik but i love asking.... you know that tumblr post where the dude talks about how he keeps calling his wife ‘my wife’ because it makes him happy to remember that they’re married? that’s literally me.. ANYWAY AAAAA ! a one shot multichap sounds soooooooooo good.... i’d love to read it pls i’d be so honored. it’s up to you though i’d accept Anything i too have my whole heart open..

btw i’ve never asked but always wondered: what kind of music do you listen to? <3

*bernie voice* i am once again asking for your forgiveness. i keep sending these long ass asks i rly need to chill... goodbye LMAO :*

(‘read more’ again bc my reply got long fhksjfjds)

hi bb!

oooo nice! did you get to play in the snow~ and yeah ahah it’s close to 30 degrees rn! it was pretty shit earlier in the week but it’s gonna get hotter again for a bit. does it get pretty hot in sweden in the summer? or are you guys too close to the north pole or something for that to happen

that sounds good!! (other than the horrible thing that is school...) ahah you’ve got my heart going doki doki now please 🤪💓. in all honesty it seems pretty balanced tho i do hope you’re taking breaks from study and all!! hmm today i got up super late again and then i tried to go for a walk (it was too hot so i came back) and then i was editing a fic! and now i’m gonna play genshin bc i think a new event started, then hopefully maybe finally start studying fhksjfd

ahh ! AHHAHA nooooo rip :( but omg i still can’t believe you have bennett.. like i know that i haven’t tried for this banner and maybe i would have him too if i did but 😩😩 he’s so cute!! WAIT on that topic guoba does that too i swear i have to like make so many calculations and figure out the optimal spot to place him so he won’t go breathing fire in the wrong direction XD

i 10000000% agree!!! like excuse me they can also control TWO elements???? who else could ever 😩 i watched a video about geo traveller too some time ago and that made me stop sleeping on them like damn they did some damage!

hehehe that sounds so intriguing 👀 20k!!! that’s more than i could ever omg... sending you strength!! you’ve got this 💪💪 icb you were too shy to bring it up pls im losing my mind over here 😭 but aw that’s really nice <3 maybe 2020 did some good after all.. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls whenever you’re ready i’m here... or mayhaps would you be okay with just plain copying a snippet into an ask sometime i promise i won’t look it up and try find you 😩 but i wanna witness some of your magnificence !

(also scratch that genshin co-op date idea um... fic collab instead?! could you imagine 😌)

yeah ugh i totally get the being drained feeling.. it’s like it doesn’t bring you joy you know? and you’re just still there bc you’ve just always been there and it’s too late to leave. !!! that does sound really tempting.. but i think i’m a bit too attached to the people i’ve met (you being one of them hehe) to fully let go. but if in the future i just need to take a break i’ll def do it! i was hesitant about doing that last year but now that i’ve done it before surely I won’t hesitate before doing it again (tho i’ve noticed that whenever i try to leave/take a break some new thing happens or releases and i’m losing my mind and can’t go fskjfhsd)

tysm marriage anon i appreciate you sm 😭💞 but yeah it’s easy to get lost in it sometimes but then i’ll look back and see how much i’ve actually done throughout the year and it’s like?? wow i did actually do and achieve a lot? so perspective matters i guess ahah

FHKDSJFH okay but todobaku who’s who? i like writing from bakugou’s POV more which makes me think I can relate to him more (like i used to write from lance’s pov a lot! that, and just bc we both love keith a lot 🤪) but i do write from todoroki’s pov quite a bit too.. hm. 

and yes!!! honestly if venti is actually coming back i should invest in getting him too.. he can do so much !! the only issue i have is that i don’t really like bow users bc i’m shit at aiming hfkdsjfhjsd. waiting for the day we can live out our xiaoven dreams <333 FKJSHFKJSD and please don’t give me money for that fhsdkfjs!! spend it on yourself instead 😩😩 but also real talk i wasn’t gonna say this bc i’m uber paranoid that somehow someone will read it and hack into my account FKHSFKSJD but i have like... 12k primogems rn AHAHAH so i’m feeling good about getting him! ty for the offer tho but seriously, let that go to your own genshin funds first if anything fhksjfds get yourself a c6 venti. yeah honestly me not really shipping anyone is a big reason why i haven’t read anything either lolll. like the art is good and i’m fine but i’m not invested enough to read fics about it yet fdshfkjs. yup it is! in case you haven’t found it yet, here! (i saw that the prologue alone was 74 pages and yeeted out of there hfdsjf)

yeah i think dreamworks ended up kinda unhappy with it all FKJFHKDSHFS but honestly with how they ended the show i feel like in their minds all ends were tied so the only option would be for a prequel? idk. and also bc i feel like movies from shows tend to do that ahaha. or omg a spinoff with completely new characters and maybe we only get mentions or cameos of the old ones hfkdsjf

yesss i’m so excited to at least get through the most popular ones!! still haven’t started howl’s moving castle yet tho lol. can’t wait to finally understand when everyone talks about these movies 😩

no i don’t know that post?? but omg.. 💕💕 also is this an appropriate time to ask what your pronouns are/how you like to be referred to FHSDKFHSD i’ve been using non-gendered language as much as i could bc idk what you prefer! 

okay i might.. post a link to that doc in an ask sometime soon then or hm.... what if i continued working on it instead... many different options hfskjdfd

i mostly listen to kpop!! ahah in recent years i’ve really said fuck western media and fully immersed in the asian stuff.. but yeah my ults are bts but i really got into seventeen in 2020 and i love them so much... they’re all so funny btsvt collab when HFKSFJS. hbu?? 

*bernie voice* i am once again asking you to stop apologising >:( please these are genuinely the highlight of my day LOL i am always looking forward to your messages!! pls do not chill >:((((

yours, c.r. <3

[foxxfaggotry]

I'm really sure I have ADD/ADHD of some sort but I've never been diagnosed and seeing all your posts I'm like me, this is me, oh ffs this is me as well. Where did you go to get a diagnosis? Cause I'm hella nervous about even talking with a doctor about this, but like to actually be diagnosed and maybe even start meds and able to focus would be amazing.

Yeah! so, I am gonna give alittle bit of a history.

I know reading through all thismay be tough, so I will bold important/ main ideas to make it easier :)

I am 18 now and a senior in high school. I wasdiagnosed in 6th grade, so I was 11, making it 7 years ago (gosh, i didn’trealize it had been that long) that I was diagnosed. Prior to my diagnosis, Ihad moved all the way across my country (United States), from California toNorth Carolina right after the first grade and remainedin North Carolina from 2nd to 5th grade, the educationally formative years, and then after 5th grade, I moved back toCalifornia, I promise this is relevant. 

In North Carolina, there is a strong educational focus on Reading, Writing, and Math. These happened to be areas I am good in and I enjoyedand therefore, Iexcelled because I was interested. 

When I moved back to California,there was no emphasis on certain subjects, all subjects were equally importantand there were no special reading/writing/math programs that challenged me in away I liked, in the subjects I liked and was interested in. I became bored easily, school was notproviding me with the challenge I needed.

Uh okay so I started writing thisthe second I got your ask and then I got distracted and put it in a word docAND THEN I JUST REMEMBERED

Oh dang if that isn’t the bestexample of ADHD ever hhahah

 Anyways, I was failing in school,my grades were shit and I was a got dang mess!!! I couldnt remember the homework, i put off projects, i zoned out in class and i had so much missing work. I simply could not do what was needed at school. So my teachers were like, hey so ur kid wont stop bouncing their leggy?? And also doesn’t do shit and getsdistracted, but like, when they do actually turn things in, wowow brilliant??

So the school told my parents that i had to go get tested for this shit because i was just too much,, and so little sixth grade me went andgot tested and holy heck they found that yes indeedy I do have ADHD!!! Wow amazingisn’t it. From there, we consulted a professional and decided that for me, the best course of action was meds and so we started trying medications.

They started me on Stratera,then concerta, vyvanse, focalin, uhhh some other ones? Some for depression somefor ADHD, i cant remeber which is which, ive been on too many meds

Anyways, im on Ritalin and Seroquelright now and sometimes I don’t take my meds, and those days I am all over theplace and focusing is so hard!!

The meds don’t cure everything,but they make it much easier to focus, they give you the ability to concentrateif you try. thats the important thing to remember, meds arent a cure, no matter what people expect!! 

Lots of people think the meds are a fix all. Don’t believe them and dont get down on yourself, trust me, it isnt easy. You will have days where it doesnt work as well and you will be tempted to blame yourself for the meds not “fixing” things. It still happens to me and a large part of that is the mindset of other people. You will still have days where it is really hard to concentrate and you cant get things done, and that is normal and okay. The great thing about meds is that one day like that wont drag you into a cycle (the shit i cant do things, why cant i do things, i cant believe i did this again, now i cant do things even more, etc) as easily as before!!

Focusing is still difficult and you are still plagued with things, but the meds help to make it manageable, they enable you to actually get in the habits that people suggest to help yourself. 

there is alot of this like, self helps shit from ppl without adhd and honestly, miss me with that ablisitic bullshit yo. 

Okay so  yeah this kind of got away from me, im sorryabout that!!!

But basically yes please do talkto a doctor, just say something along the lines of hey, so I have seen thingsthings about ADHD and I think I may have it, here are my symptoms, here arethings I have trouble with. And don’t describe your best days, describe theworst ones. (for instance, I told mine that sometimes I would go days withoutproperly eating because I was so engrossed in whatever I was doing,  I just forgot to eat)

i hope this helped, sorry its so long!!!!

[yehetno]

SOO the really long multi-ask feedback is here!! let’s hope tumblr doesn’t eat any of them (I’ve come prepared tho I’m typing this out in doc me actually using my brain) Be prepared for a long essay and lots of asks! I've actually have been productive and have gotten most of my homework before Sunday I'm so proud of myself I can now type of this long essay!!! I have no clue where to start since a lot of my feedback as never reached you …. Hmmm WELL LET ME JUST START OFF W/ CYCLICAL (1/?)

(I hope its ok if I don’t put quack quack anon it takes up a lot of space) BECAUSE I LOVED IT SO MUCH and you didn’t get my last one where I screamed about it. I seriously loved this one so much I go back this one I just really love the details of it and the way you expressed his emotions and everything that was going on was just so beautiful you wrote it awhile ago but I felt the need to express my love for it! The last feedback you got was true north I think so I guess ill skip to there (2/7)

So its easier I’m probably skipping a lot of drabbles tho ☹ im sorry BUT FINDING WARMTH ITS SO PURE AND CUTE I honestly hate winter too I get cold way too easily but I could just imagine jinwoo cuddling up under a blanket with mj watching a movie and playing with his hair and just thinking “maybe winter isn’t too bad I could get used to this” and I love that so much AND PRECIOUS CARGO IS ALSO SO FLUFFY TOO I love fluff! This one makes me smile when I read it it’s so cute and simple (3/7)

i’m going to split my responses in half because this was a lot.

i am super proud of you doing your homework ahead of time! procrastinating is tempting, but now you get to enjoy a day or two stress free. 

i’m glad that you liked ‘cyclical’.  i really liked writing that one because i am a little fixated on reincarnation, past-lives, & just mortality in general.  i also like soulmate!aus, but ‘cyclical’ gave some interpretation leeway that a few people took up.

‘finding warmth’ is a little bit related to me hating being cold. but with good company, you can kinda grin and bear it, or you have someone to complain at haha.

‘precious cargo’ is very much me just loving on jincha and inserting them into a kdrama cliche b/c they deserve happiness. 

part 1 of 2