#im honestly so tired of looking at this i need a break oof

[desertpirate77]

Another couple of mods published: Patterned Short Sleeve Shirts 18 swatches, Vanilla only for now. I need a break from looking at this. for M+F

Not the best honestly I am still very much a noob modder

Big thanks to everyone who took amazing pictures for me!! And to everyone who gave me the really helpful modding advice!

A Bunch of Misc Microblends A bunch if microblends I made - required for the shirts but also released as a modders resource if anyone wants to use them!

Also a Non-Nexus exclusive! Cause I don't wanna get hit by Nintendo Ninjas

Animal Crossing 🍃Creature Intersection🍃 Some shirts inspired by a particular Island village game with critters

[thechrisrose]

Hunger Games style Hogwarts Legacy!

I saw simply slytherin do this and i jus HAD to do one of my own, and omg i am so glad i did.

OUR TRIBUTES

I put who i wanted together, but i put Anne in to spice it up, thought itd be funny This is incredibly long, but it was so much fun to make

THE BLOODBATH

What a start! Poppy immediately offing 4 people what a girlboss

DAY 1

Seb being a weirdo and MC killing Sam oof

NIGHT 1

Grace, Leander, and Poppy plotting murder Seb and Garreth snuggling is something i didn’t know i needed till i got it Noo not Natty

DAY 2

Ominis is our unbothered king Leander be like ‘Why are you running, why are you running’

NIGHT 2

Ominis overworked himself picking them flowers lmao Amit, Astoria, and Adelaide singing Kumbaya Poppy thinking about being a literal powerhouse Imelda being a boss bitch A fearsome fivesome sleepover And daymn a Nellie betrayal

DAY 3

Im not surprised Garreth failed to kill someone Poppy’s social anxiety got the best of her, like nope

NIGHT 3

IMELDA AND LEANDER!! WHaT! gasp Adelaide killing off 2 powerhouses and 2 other people, holy shit! Astoria needs to calm down Grace and Lucan scope out the competition NELLIE AND OMINIS!! Double gasp

DAY 4

Adelaide trying for another kill Lucan going for the betrayal kill but stops last second is actually sweet Imelda got sick of Astoria screaming NOO not Amit not watching where he was looking

NIGHT 4

Grace being to scared Lucan’s gonna try an off her again Imelda do u have something you want to share with the class, sparing Leander SEBASTIAN WTH HES UR PARTNER! XD Lucan thinking bout his next kill Adelaide got too tired of being a literal girlboss

THE FEAST

SEB KILLING IMELDA!! What a turn of events!

DAY 5

Adelaide being scared of Grace LUCANS NEXT KILL WAS LEANDER Finally the 2 i put together are working together

NIGHT 5

Whatcha humming Nellie killing Grace daymn! Adelaide being nice to Lenora What are you screaming for buddy, Seb break ur shit again?

DAY 6

Our Crossed Wands buddies going hunting together

NIGHT 6

Lucan is finally questioning his sanity Adelaide is shaking in her boots Om being nice to Seb is gonna be his downfall Oop Lenora noo

DAY 7

Adelaide is getting her turn with the braincell to question herself THE SLYTHERINS VS GRYFFINDORS CHASEDOWN OF THE CENTURY

NIGHT 7

Discussing whos gonna die next out of ur friends must be an interesting conversation Adelaide missing her uncle Seb honestly how did you make it this long

DAY 8

Why are you choosing to wait last second to make a weapon Om LUCAN KILLING THE OTHER POWERHOUSE

NIGHT 8

Idk there’s something bittersweet about the last 3 sitting together the night before having to kill each other

DAY 9

NOT OUR POWERHOUSE DYING OF DEHYDRATION!! How did they both die of like natural ways, not much of a real win, but damn

OUR WINNER

OUR UNBOTHERED FLOWER PICKING KING WON BY PURE CHANCE XD I honestly thought Lucan was going to win, but what a twist!

[llycaons]

ep19 (part 1) : you know it's bad when you see a torture scene and you're like 'oh yeah this is the least painful thing to happen to him in three episodes and it'll only get worse after this'

on my first watch I remember being like 'oh god she looks like shit', honestly he's a little tired looking and he's got a far-away look in his eyes that points to some extreme inner distress or distracting pain and he coughs very weakly but. yeah no he looks pretty bad

what we all assumed was hunger but was. you know

unintentionally (?) funniest shots in the episode. wzl might actually know about wwx's core at this point - I assume he can sense them. I can think of no other reason for him to look at his hand like that

scream. with context...well we know why. and wwx likely hasn't slept either

of all the additions to the story cql made, this is by far one of the most powerful and memorable. it's such a beautiful scene and imo it points to what jc deep down wanted more than anything. happy family. everyone getting along. his some safe. wwx is there, and I know there's a lot of debate over whether jc sees his as a brother but it's hard to argue he didn't see him as par of that family in some way, regardless of how he treated him

this scene wasn't in the novel unless im really misremembering, but it's much easier to believe that jc viewed wwx differently there compared to here

his mother welcoming him! smiling! being kind and affectionate to his siblings!

his father interacting with him willingly! playing with him! believing in him! such simple things, and so out of reach for jc, once hard to imagine him attaining and now impossible

he knows to thank bssr but I don't think he'll ever thank wwx :/

RUDE BITCH

he's tired so I can forgive that his comeback to 'you're a dog' is 'NO YOU'

why are you like this. maniac

here he is! wwx is defined by his low birth status and his unstable relationship with the aristocracy. they can cast him out at any time, and do so once it's clear he will act against them. there is treatment and slander he endures that a highborn individual would never face even if they did the exact same things that he did. but wwx is scrappy. he uses everything he has to his advantage. he even weaponizes his lack of privilege.

wjl are you stupid. like. love this woman, she's very funny, but seriously. you work with cultivators

oof oof ouch. this is a rough scene and it's the least bad thing to happen to wwx from his enemies (or allies) in a while. after watching his home be destroyed, seeing myu blame him for everything then died with jfm, LP overtaken and disrespected, needing to get jc back, staying awake for days researching, then lying awake for two days and a night undergoing surgery, and AFTER this getting thrown into a pit of corpses where you're expected to lose your soul to endless torment....well. this is bad but relatively bearable

anyway ohh yin iron is reacting to his blood

I love when side characters deliver exposition loudly and obviously. very convenient for our protags

JC SAW THEM. SCREAM. I don't think he could have done anything esp since he doesn't have his sword but he SAW them. isn't that wild

if he was just a few hours earlier...well, wwx would still die, wouldn't he? being thrown into the burial mounds was horrifically traumatizing but it did facilitate his career in necromancy and he wouldn't have been resurrected without his own writings on the topic. and this is a very shitty situation for him to imagine an plot divergence

that being said this is one of the most horrific things that can happen to a person in like. any piece of media. this man has suffered so much bizarre and specific trauma

DON'T TOUCH HIM

DON'T CALL HIM THAT

SCREAM

shut up wen chao you're not the one binding him there

the smoke catching him, making his descent somewhat gentler. it can sense what's happening

in the book I think it's canon that he breaks several bones in the fall. or maybe that was in a fanfic I read. I like it more when it breaks his bones honestly bc it adds to the rawness and realism of the scene tho I am not complaining cql wwx has it a little better

and if that's not enough, wen ning has also been tortured! and wq in imprisoned!

[komoreangel]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐜𝐬

pairings: childe, diluc, kaeya, albedo x f!reader (separate)

scenario: it’s reallyyyyy cold outside and you want your boyfriend to warm you up :) and maybe cuddle :) i mean what no its just soooo cold

genre: fluff so much fluff

wordcount: 1.6k (mostly albedo’s djkfsdjfnkd) 

childe

ok so this guy

he’s from snezhnaya which is like russia

its always cold there so he’s used to the below 30 temperatures

you however

ARE NOT

like at all i mean you’re from mondstatd whens the last time it snowed here

so at first he might not notice that you are extremely cold

you two are walking around, being cute yk couple stuff

that is until you start shivering

“why are you shaking? are you scared of something???”

he’s not the brightest but we love him

“childe, im cold.” you bury your face in his chest to hide from the wind

“it’s not that cold out here, i don’t see why you’re being so dramatic.”

“it’s below 30 degrees! i’m going to get frostbite and die!”

ok so maybe you are a bit dramatic but YOU’RE FREEZING OKAY?

“hey ojou-chan, why are you so clingy all of a sudden-” you reached your hand inside his pocket to grab his hand.

holy crap your hands are cold

“hey wait don’t grab my- THAT’S MY SCARF!”

suddenly you were running away from him at top speed, his scarf in your hands

“come back here! what are you - oof-!” he had grabbed onto the edge of the scarf and pulled it back, you along with it.

you fell on top of him and you’re both wrapped in the scarf like every single christmas romance movie

“well now my hair is all full of snow.”

“you deserve it.” “HEY!” 

you get up and walk off to the side, taking his scarf with you

he follows after you, and catches up quite fast considering he’s got them long legs 

oh to be tall

he wraps his arms around you in a hug 

“still feeling cold?” 

“yES!” 

so you two head for home and he promises that he’ll cuddle you all day to keep you warm

which is what you wanted in the first place ;) 

diluc

diluc doesn’t get cold

not because of where he’s from or anything

but because pyro vision 

~natural body heat~ 

and unlike childe he would actually notice you withering away in the snow 

“y/n, are you alright?” 

“huh? yeah yeah im fine just a bit cold” 

suddenly you are being cuddled 

“diluc??” 

“yes?” 

“you’re hugging me?” 

he doesn’t usually initiate pda often so it was a surprise

“you said you were cold. i’m simply warming you up.” 

you lean into his hug and notice that he’s actually really warm

like so warm you get sleepy

you’re so sleepy now that you think about it

and bonk

congrats dear reader

you have fallen asleep in diluc’s arms

he continues to talk on about venti’s drinking problem and how annoying kaeya is

he looks down and notices you sweetly dozing off in his embrace

and he’s so lucky to have you isn’t he

he smiles softly and sweeps you into his arms

carries you bridal style upstairs 

he’s about to tuck you into your bed when your arms begin to tightly wrap around his shoulders

almost like you dont want to let go 

“darling, it’s more comfortable in the bed,” he says quietly

“noo...” your voice is muffled by his chest and you sound tired 

he chuckles lightly 

“just lay down for a bit i’ll be right with you in a minute” 

you’re quiet, like you’re stopping to think

“if i lay down, will you cuddle with me?” 

diluc sighs

“yes i’ll cuddle with you, just please lay down? for me?” 

and who are you to resist that 

so you lay down and while it’s not as warm as him

its still really soft and you fall asleep in no time

he comes back to you sleeping, and not one to break his promises, he cuddles with you anyway 

at least you’re warm now 

kaeya 

believe it or not, kaeya actually does get cold

i mean yeah he has a cryo vision, but that just means he isn’t affected by his own abilities 

or at least thats my headcanon 

anyways

if you’re shivering...he will not help you at first

no, first he’ll tease you about it

like imagine you guys have a mission in dragonspine

“oh y/n~ did you fall for me so hard you got frostbite?”

“you’re looking mighty chilled over there, need a hand?” 

you are this close to punching his arm

however because you want him to hug you and warm you up, you are going to stay on his good side 

he might prolong the teasing for a while

and after that while, he may or may not let you hug him

if he goes on for a bit too long however, he’d feel bad 

you aren’t laughing at his jokes anymore because you’re so cold

you just want to stop and sleep 

your steps become slower and slower

your vision is getting blurrier by the second

and after a while you just stop moving

kaeya turns to look back at you bc he notices

“y/n?” 

and then in a total cliche moment you collapse out of pure exhaustion

like the gentleman he is, he catches you before you land face-first in the snow

and in his mind hes like shit i let this go on too long

so he carries you around, looking for a cave you can rest in until you’re feeling better 

after maybe five minutes of searching he finds one

and he knows albedo is up here somewhere but he doesn’t want to risk you being in the snow for too long

he starts a fire and tries to lay you down near it, but you aren’t getting any warmer

so he puts you in his arms and just cuddles you 

the combination of body heat + fire is slowly warming you up 

and in about an hour you’re awake again

but you can’t move, because his grip on you is very tight

“kaeya? where are we?” 

he slowly opens his eyes 

“oh, just a random cave in dragonspine” he laughs a bit as he says it

then ofc he remembers you’ve just woken up from collapsing and is like oh right serious time ok

“are you okay?” he asks and this time he has a hint of concern in his voice

“yeah, i’m fine. i’m warm now too” you say as the fire starts to die down a bit

kaeya moves his arm in front of you to shift the firewood a bit 

“i’m sorry for letting you get that cold” he murmurs 

you adjust your position so you’re facing his chest 

“it’s alright, at least i can finally get some cuddles this way” 

you both continue to rest by the fire and decide you’ll head back to mondstatd in the morning

albedo

because albedo is rather observant of most things

he notices your state right away

he immediately stops whatever he is doing and tends to you

“you’re cold, aren’t you?” he sits you on the table and feels your forehead

“albedo, its not a fever” you laugh. 

“no, if it was a fever you’d be burning up” he says matter-of-factly 

he walks to the other side of the lab and grabs his coat

“here, put this on.” 

you wrap the coat around yourself and start to get off the table

he rushes back and grabs your hands

they’re cold (duh) 

so then he thinks what can he do to make your hands warm

usually some mittens would do the trick

but he doesnt have any except for his own

well 

he’ll do what he has to

anything for you 

so he slides his gloves off and offers them to you

“put these on, your hands are probably freezing” 

when you hesitate (because arent his hands cold now? you dont want him to be cold) he takes the initative and takes your hands to put the gloves on

he stands back and says “there. tell me if you get colder, okay?”

and tries to hide his flustered face because

you look so cute in his gloves!!! 

they’re his gloves and you’re wearing them ! 

he turns back to his work for a bit 

after maybe half an hour he looks back 

and you aren’t sitting on the table anymore?? 

he looks around

you aren’t anywhere?? 

thats not good

not good at all

he makes his way outside and doesn’t see you there either 

“y/n?” he calls out into the snow 

unknowingly to him, you had headed out about ten minutes after he turned around 

you went to go search for some starsilver, as you heard him muttering about it under his breath 

you were happily heading back to the lab, arms full of the stuff, when you heard someone shout in surprise

it sounded like albedo 

something must have happened to one of his experiments

you quickly hurried towards the lab only to find

nothing?? not even the man himself

there were footsteps in the snow leading away from the room, but you couldn’t be sure if it was yours or his

you decide to wait for him to come back, and set the starsilver near his workspace

after a while, he comes back in, looking stressed and worried

“albedo?” he looks up and breathes in relief 

“where were you, i came back and- mMf!” he rushes towards you and wraps you in a tight hug

“please don’t do that again” he says

“i got you some starsilver..”

he breaks the hug and looks back at his desk

“you went to get starsilver...for me?” 

you bury your face in his neck 

“yeah..i heard you muttering about it so i thought you needed some. it was colder out there than i thought, though” 

he pats your back soothingly, rubbing his hand in circles around your shoulder 

“let’s start a fire, that’ll warm us both up” 

a/n: hi! wooh my first headcanon :) sorry if it was a little long, and i know some were a bit angsty and im honestly sorry about that! albedo’s got away from me sdkhjf but i hope you enjoy! and feel free to request a fic if you’d like :)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok so Camille’s an asshole on that we can all agree, but I’m really tired of people in the fandom acting like she’s just your typical annoying ex and she makes poor uwu Alec feel insecure cause fuck that. Camille was 100% abusive and manipulative but I also think she was sexually abusive too I mean seeing what she did to Simon and kissing Magnus without his consent even though he was clearly uncomfortable, consent doesn’t really seem to be an issue for her-

I feel like she definitely manipulated his fear of loneliness and not being good enough, to suit her needs. Like Magnus isn’t in the mood for sex or it’s especially triggering on a certain day, either way he’s not up for it but Camille makes him do it anyway. She threatens to leave or go find someone else who can fulfill her needs or take care of her when Magnus won’t, ‘I mean does he even love her when he won’t do this one simple thing for her?’ 

So he just lets her do what she wants, even if he’s having a full blown panic attack Camille doesn’t care or she’ll just leave insulting him saying she can’t deal with this right now and leaving Magnus with no idea when or if she’ll be back. So the next time she asks he hesitates less or initiates it more even when he’s not in the mood so she won’t leave and yeah I have a lot of emotions relating to this. and now I’m thinking about how it’ll affect his future relationships, not even talking about Alec but other people - I have this headcanon where when he got away from Camille and is healing, him ragnor and Catarina live together in ragnors cottage or somewhere away from people for awhile so Magnus can slowly heal and focus on himself and unlearn Camille’s abuse with the help of his family 

But despite what this fandom says Magnus has always been a helper and a selfless person to the point of self destruction. He’s unable to prioritise his own health and he wouldn’t be able to slow down and feel the full force of the abuse he experienced cause he feels like he’ll fall apart if he does and ‘no one wants a pathetic crybaby who breaks down when someone moves their hand too fast in his direction it wasn’t even that bad he’s just exaggerating like he always does this is why Camille doesn’t love him back’ (the ‘’ parts were meant to be strikethrough to signify Magnus’ inner thoughts but that doesn’t work on asks)

And he’s scared to get in another relationship cause he doesn’t think he’d be able to speak up for himself if they turned violent or controlling, he’s scared that if they did he’d just let them so he closes himself off from people puts these walls around him and a bright smile on his face that doesn’t let anyone think there’s anything wrong. And theres so much pain going on in the world ‘they have it much worse than him anyway’ and Magnus tries to help the best he can as he always does and he’s always there for people to lean on without any reciprocation and he’s so emotionally and physically tired and he’s not sure how much longer he can take it, almost considers going back to blackfairs bridge ‘really he’d be doing the world a favour’ but theres too many bad memories and he promised his family he would try so he holds on and then he finds Raphael and that obviously doesn’t fix everything but- I was going to continue this but it’s two am in my country and honesty it’s too long already😅 sorry for the rant it’s just a lot of emotions. Im so tired of the ‘Camille’s an annoying ex who keeps getting in the way of my favourite gay ship😠’ metas and needed to let out some feelings before I explode from my hate for Camille

UGH ANON HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE NOT ONLY A GENIUS BUT ALSO MY NEW BEST FRIEND, AN INTELLECTUAL, AND COMPLETELY RIGHT. YOU ARE SO CORRECT!!! idk if uve read my other post that i posted while i was waiting for you but we no longer have the same hat we are SHARING the hat!! i can't believe i got this ask right after i had just made that long ass rant and was in so much need to talk about this like ugh are you my guardian angel. i love you more than anyone else ive ever met

ok ok ok coherent thoughts ok i can do this. first of all THE SALT how does it feel to have vision and coherency. ppl writing camille as just an annoying ex or a bad ex or even as like "oh they both made mistakes and it ended up terrible" drives me UP THE WALL. camille was explicitly abusive, so much so that magnus CANONICALLY WAS UNABLE TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO GET CLOSE TO HIM FOR ALMOST A CENTURY. and she was shown to be abusive, both in the physical sense as you have reminded us so brilliantly and in the sense that her whole "choose me" speech? like she doesn't have to literally say the words "no one but me would ever love you" for that to be exactly what she's saying. she's obviously playing with his insecurities and putting him down while presenting her as his savior, it's CLASSIC ABUSE. she was written as such a perfect to-the-book abuser that it honestly shocks me like they did that really all they ticked all the boxes. the way she immediately launched to talk about alec's mortality too, the way she was obviously trying to make them fight and draw them apart - it wasn't a jealousy thing, it is just that she's abusive and she wants him isolated so she can toy with him and manipulate him 

EVEN SALTIER WHEN THEY MAKE IT ABOUT ALEC BEING INSECURE LIKE. especially because canonically he literally watched camille kiss magnus and didn't care, which was sexy of him because i was dreading some jealousy drama or something but instead he was just like. obviously she did it to hurt you. i only care in the sense that she's a fucking bitch. we stan! 

as for how she treated him! oof i think the same thing with the same words dioajdsaoij it always circled back to "why can't you do this for me?" in and outside of sex - i mentioned that in a conversation in the comments of my other post but i think that with camille the sexual abuse was really just an extension of the regular abuse, so they bleed together and are not really separable in that sense. at every turn, he had to prove his worth, and she used his fear of loneliness both in the sense that she amplified it and made it seem like the only way to not be lonely was to be with her, and that she gave him just enough for him not to feel desperately lonely so she could string him along. not to mention, they both always go back to how magnus supposedly "owes" her, and yes, it's because of the bridge, of course, but there's also that underlying tone of "because she put up with him and gave him affection when no one else would". even when what she did was nowhere close to real affection. so it's both the bridge and the after. she could have saved him and left, but she stayed. that's why he feels he owes her, and she will absolutely use it

AND UR SO RIGHT ABOUT MAGNUS BEING UNABLE TO PRIORITIZE HIS OWN HEALTH UGH UGH UGH UGH like he has no choice for a while because she left him fucking broken and seeing the way she treats him and the amount of shit he puts up with i can only imagine how far she had to go for him to reach a breaking point and leave her for real. but as soon as he could pretend to have himself together he just threw himself out there. and i believe that he felt guilty for having catarina and ragnor take care of him when he abandoned them because of camille - obviously that's not what happened, she manipulated him into staying away from them, made his life hell whenever he wanted to hang out with them until he no longer had the energy to put up a fight to keep in contact with the people he loves, but it's what he feels that happened, and most likely what camille herself eventually started to tell him happened once they had been pulled away enough. ("you're gonna leave me? and go back to who? your little friends who tried to pit you against me from day one? they're just gonna say 'i told you so', magnus. and why would they take you back when you left them before? when was the last time you even saw them? you chose this, you chose me, and now you're gonna come back to them and expect them to welcome you with open arms? you selfish little prick")

AND RAPHAEL!!! raphael was so important, honestly, we say that magnus didn't let anyone into his heart but obviously raphael was the exception and EXTREMELY important for his healing. it's a complicated relationship because he's sort of a father figure for rapha, and as such, he doesn't allow himself to be completely vulnerable around him, because that's not "his role". but! he was the first person whom magnus let in. and they obviously know each other deeply ("i hate to see you like this" even though magnus looked completely put together to the outside eye) and are plenty affectionate ("sweet boy", the hugs, the way rapha talked about magnus with so much love and awe in his eyes and voice) and trusting (the way raphael went to magnus' loft, not his own damn clan, when he was tortured...). i know this fandom likes to pretend that they pretend to hate each other but NO THEY DON'T they are openly caring and loving with each other fucking fight me on this

anyway, my point is that raphael was the first person he allowed himself to trust, and of course, part of that is simply because raphael was vulnerable and in need and like you said he can't just stay still when he sees someone struggling. but to care for raphael eventually had to mean to open up to him and when he welcomed raphael in, he gained a new member to his family. raphael is his kid. that's no small thing. their bond goes deep and it's extremely important because again, after camille magnus wouldn't allow people to get close to his heart, because he was scared of how they could use that against him. raphael was his first, and the only reason magnus was able to open himself up for romantic love again (which was an extra step, not because romantic love is more important or deeper, but because it's specifically the kind of love that camille used against him, and thus it makes him even more scared) was because he had already been relearning trust and platonic love with rapha

rapha did him good!!! there's a reason he calls him "sweet boy" okay. and rapha cares about him and he NOTICES WHEN HE'S IN A BAD SHAPE EVEN THROUGH ALL OF MAGNUS' WALLS and he specifically didn't want magnus involved with the camille drama even when it had obviously gotten out of hand because he wanted to keep him safe and away from her!!! i want to be shot in the face!!! they love each other so much! fuck!

and also that implies that raphael knows about camille which means he might be the first person who met magnus post-camille and heard the story, which means that he might be (and probably is) the first person who was never involved that magnus opened up about this to. if that ain't some powerful and important shit i don't know what is. because part of abuse is that you can't talk about it - there's this sense of shame and guilt both from staying and from not staying more, especially because magnus canonically still feels like he owes her... aaaaa

this answer is all over the place im sorry but my point is you are correct, camille is a textbook abuser not just a shitty ex, she fucked up his head and made him unable to open up for a long time, and the first person that helped him break those walls was raphael and they LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND DEEPLY thank you for your attention

[highonchocolate]

Take Two: The Guardian in Gotham Chapter 15

First   Previous   Next   Ao3

“Spots off.” She muttered, face mashed into the soft mattress. Maybe if I just stay like this, I'll eventually sink low enough to become one with my bed. She thought, steadfastly ignoring the disapproval she felt radiating from her Kwami. 

Stretching, her fingers fumbled for the switch on the lamp before she flicked it, filling the room with soft light. 

Adrien's words looped through her mind. 

Your leaving made Lila that much more comfortable with hanging off me! 

Your leaving made Lila that much more comfortable with hanging off me!

Your leav一 

Shut! Up! Shut up! It's not true. It's not my fault. It's not. It's not! She screamed, trying to drown out the dark voice in her mind repeating Adrien's words back to her again and again.

“Ugh, Tikki.” She groaned, words muffled by her pillow. “That was a disaster!” 

She rolled into her back and stared at the dark ceiling, brain not comprehending her surroundings. Her mind was whirling with her body white一hot with embarrassment and anger. 

“Ugh! I don't know why一He never hinted一I didn't know that he was feeling this way!” She waved her arms angrily above her face, trying to explain as she stumbled over her words. 

“I don't know, Tikki,” she sighed, running a hand down her face. 

“I guess I never realized exactly how much he's been through.” She looked down guiltily at the quiet, shameful admission. Becoming one with the bed sounds pretty appealing right now.

“I always assumed he was fine, he was always so happy, always joking around, how did I not see it?”

“Marinette, I think the both of you need to talk some things out.” Tikki told her, not bothering to mince their words. “You'd both been dancing around the deeper implications of your reveal ever since it happened last year, and it was bound to blow up in your faces after a while.”

“Honestly,” they confide, “I was expecting it to happen much sooner.”

“Tikki!” Marinette snapped, pushing herself into a sitting position and crossing her legs. 

“Right, sorry.” They sobered up, flying forward to hover in front of her face. She locked eyes with them, her sad blue stare rising to meet that wise, ancient gaze. 

“This lack of communication, and the unspoken words that lie between you will only serve to push you two farther apart. You are two halves of one whole, yin and yang, balance incarnate. As soulmates, it is your duty to support each other. The weaker your bond, the weaker you are inside.” Their eyes burned with intensity, asking her, begging her, to understand.

Marinette dropped her head into her palms, looking through her fingers at the soft red duvet beneath her.  Her eyes burned with unshed tears. A white hot ball of anger tightened on her chest at the words of the Kwami. God, she was just so tired. 

“Tired of what, Marinette?” Tikki asked. She must have spoken out loud, then. 

At the question, she felt the tightly compressed ball of anger squeeze tighter, and tighter, and tighter, until一

She snapped.

“I'm so fucking tired of everything!” She lifted her head to glare at the ceiling, voice breaking as she struggled to reign in her tears. 

“Tired of all the responsibility, the pressure, from everyone! From you! All anyone expects from me is perfection! God forbid I screw up, or I'll have all of you on my case! And let's not forget that I never asked for any of this in the first place!”  She wiped furiously at her damp cheeks, batting away the warm paws reaching out to brush her cheeks.

“Don't touch me!” 

She stood up in anger, face twisted with fury and sadness. “The only reason I'm here is because some old man decided that since I pulled him out of the middle of the road, I had to be a hero!”

She suddenly collapsed onto the floor as though the fight had been drained out of her, pressing her forehead to the smooth wood as her body shook with quiet sobs.

“I can't deal with all this pressure, Tikki,” she whispered, her hushed confession loud in the silent room. “All the一all the expectations...I just can't.” 

“Oh Marinette…” Tikki cuddled close, humming comfortingly. “I'm sorry if I made it seem like a pressure or an expectation. But you do need to talk. And you both need to apologize. You said a lot of hurtful things一”

“Me?!” She interrupted, bolting upright onto her knees to stare incredulously at the Kwami. “Tikki! Why me?! You heard what he said! He said that since I left, Lila decided to feel him up more! How is that my fault?!” 

“一to each other.” They finished, fixing her with an unimpressed look. “Wait to hear what I have to say before you jump to conclusions.”

She sat back on her heels, feeling chastised.

“And that isn't your fault. He was angry, you both were, so you lashed out at each other. Anger can make you especially cruel and vicious. Boo一hoo the poor rich baby didn't get some hugs from Daddy? Marinette, that was too far. Just like how him blaming you for Lila's actions was also uncalled for. He’s been through a lot, as have you. You both need to work this out.”

“I know.” She felt tears prick at her eyes again. Her anger had vanished, leaving a knot of guilt and shame in its wake. It was an ugly feeling, and she hated her situation so much in that moment.  

Oh Adrien, what have we become? 

“I know,” she repeated, glancing over at her friend. “We need to fix this, fix our relationship.” 

Sighing, she flopped back into her bed. “But I hate being the bigger person.” 

Tikki laughed quietly, flying over to her nightstand and coming back with her phone clutched in their paws. Marinette let out a small oof as they dropped it on her stomach. 

“Text him.” They told her sternly, crossing their paws. 

“I'm getting to it!” She retorted, opening up her phone. As she clicked on her messaging app, a notification popped up. 

Adrien 

Message [Now]

She clicked on it with some trepidation, opening up their chat.

Adrien

Hey [Sent 6:56 AM]

Hesitating, she glanced at Tikki, who nodded encouragingly. Her phone pinged again, and she turned her gaze to the screen.

You

Hey [Sent 6:56 AM]

Adrien 

Im sorry for what I said [Sent 6:57 AM]

You

Im sorry for what I said too [Sent 6:57 AM]

She paused, considering the best way to word her thoughts.

You

Tikki thinks we should talk [Sent 6:57 AM]

(Adrien is typing…)

Adrien

Do you? [Sent 6:57 AM]

She inhaled sharply at the question, mulling it over in her head. Did she really want to talk about it?

Nodding to herself, she typed out her reply.

You

Yes [Sent 6:58 AM]

Adrien

Over the phone or in person? [Sent 6:58 AM]

She tapped out a reply, deleted it, and then retyped it.

You

Phone is easiest [Sent 6:58 AM]

Adrien

Okay [Sent 6:58 AM]

When? [Sent 6:58 AM]

You

Not right now [Sent 6:58 AM]

It's pretty early over here [Sent 6:59 AM]

Maybe in a few hours? [Sent 6:59AM]

Adrien

Okay [Sent 7:00 AM]

As if on cue, her alarm started blaring. With a sigh, she turned it off, pushing herself off the bed and making her way into the bathroom on tired limbs to start the day.

一一一

After the portal had closed in a flare of blue, Adrien had swore loudly and kicked the wall in front of him. Cursing at the new pain flaring from his foot, he transformed and returned to the Agreste Mansion, immediately turning and collapsing onto his bed. Staring at the ceiling, he’d let their argument from earlier loop through his head. 

一don't have time to deal with your little temper tantrums!一

一stop acting like you're a saint一

一pull-down chart of my schedule一

一count on one hand一

一get over yourself!一

一you left一

一take all the hits for you!一

一can't deal with this right now一

His ears had felt like they had been stuffed with cotton; he heard nothing but static. He saw his vision blur, felt something warm trail down both cheeks. He vaguely registered that his chest was heaving as he gasped for breath, but it all seemed insignificant compared to what he had done barely thirty minutes ago.

 What have you done What have you done What have you done一

He heard a faint, panicked voice calling his name, sounding as though it came from far, far away. He latched onto the sound, using it to pull himself back to full consciousness.

“一Kid? Kid? Adrien!” Plagg hovered in front of him, whiskers twitching agitatedly. 

“Plagg?” He had rasped, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Yeah kid, what’s wrong?” 

“I think I messed up, Plagg,” his voice broke on another sob, and he brought his shaking palms to his face to wipe away the tears staining his face.

“Kid…” The Kwami had looked pained, flying over at his admission to rub their head against his in comfort. 

“Adrien…” 

They paused, trying to phrase their words properly.

“What happened back there wasn’t just your fault. Both you and Pigtails were angry at each other, and at what has been happening, and it all erupted. Like Mount Vesuvius, way back when.”

It was a lame joke, and a terrible analogy, but it coaxed a hoarse laugh out of the teenager’s hunched form.

“I just...I feel really bad Plagg, but I also don’t regret telling her some of that stuff.” He confessed, looking down at his lap.

“Okay…” They said slowly, “You said you don’t regret telling Pigtails some things. What do you regret telling her?”

At the question, leaf green eyes had once again filled with sparkling tears, rolling down his cheeks with trails of silver. “I一I said that Lila harassing me was her fault! But it’s not! It’s nobody’s fault but Lila’s! How could I have just said that to her, Plagg?” He asked desperately, looking sadly up at the Kwami.

“Aw, kid, sometimes when you’re mad, you say things you don’t mean just so that you can hurt the other person. You feel ugly and mean, and you take it out on them.” Plagg gazed at him solemnly, trying to convey their thoughts.

“...When did you get so wise, Plagg?” Adrien had asked, a sad smile playing across his face.

“Kid, I was always wise,” they retorted, smirking at him. “My wisdom just chooses to show itself  every century or so.”

‘Well, what does your infinitely wise self think I should do, then?” Adrien asked, falling backwards onto the bed with a sigh.

“Apologize.” Plagg said bluntly, nodding towards his phone where it lay on his desk. “She said a lot of cruel things to you, but sometimes it’s best to forgive.”

“I guess.” He had sighed, sliding off the bed to grab his phone. Unlocking it, he smiled down at his wallpaper, a selfie of the five of them in the park, before opening up his messaging app. He clicked on Marinette’s contact and then froze, fingers stilling over the lit screen. What do I say?

Plagg curled up on his shoulder in silent support, nuzzling him softly. 

You

Hey [Sent 12:56 PM]

He looked over at Plagg, eyes wide. “I just sent it. And it was the stupidest text ever.” 

“Did you apologize?” They asked, looking at his phone screen.

“No!” He had yelled, sounding panicked.

“Quick, say you’re sorry!” The Kwami urged, nudging him insistently.

As he began typing, his phone vibrated with a notification.

Marinette

Hey [Sent 12:56 PM]

“Apologize!’ They hissed as he fumbled for the send button.

“I’m trying to send it!”

“Let me proofread it!”

“Get off, Plagg!”

You

I'm sorry for what I said [Sent 12:57 PM]

Marinette

I'm sorry for what I said too [Sent 12:57 PM]

(Marinette is typing…)

She said she’s sorry too!”

“I’m right here kid, I can see it myself.” The Kwami had responded drily. “Now ask her about that conversation.”

“Calm down, I will!” He said, typing out a question. 

“Oh wait hold on, she already asked.”

Marinette

Tikki thinks we should talk [Sent 12:57 PM]

He read the text, feeling his doubt rising.  He didn’t care if Tikki wanted to talk he did, he wanted to know what she thought! Did she not want to? Is that why she said only Tikki wanted them to talk?!

You

Do you? [Sent 12:57 PM]

(Marinette is typing…)

Marinette

Yes [Sent 12:58 PM]

He exhaled in relief, his shoulders loosening.

You

Okay [Sent 12:58 PM]

When? [Sent 12:58 PM]

Marinette

Not right now [Sent 12:58 PM]

It's pretty early over here [Sent 12:59 PM]

Maybe in a few hours? [Sent 12:59 PM]

You

Okay [Sent 1:00 PM]

Adrien sighed and shut off his phone, glancing at the time as he plugged it into the charger. 12:17 AM. It had been eleven hours since their conversation, and Marinette still hadn’t called. Logically, he knew that there was a time difference, and that it was around six in the evening for Marinette, but that didn’t keep him from getting antsy. With another glance at the clock, he clicked play on the next episode of Avatar, settling in to watch as Zuko and Sokka infiltrated the Boiling Rock.

[dazed--xx]

Useless

Request: Can you do a one shot were you fight and he says something that really hurt you bc you were insecure about that and then you act kinda distant and idk can it fluff and angst pretty please 🥺 I love your blog 💜(tae)

Summary:  “Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

Member: Taehyung x Idol!reader

Word Count: 2,276

Genre: Angst, light smut, light fluff

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE

A/N: Shout out to the reader who requested my first Tae one shot, hope you enjoy. I got some big things planned to come out so i hope yall follow make sure you check out my masterlist for other stories 

(Not my gif)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N!!” Tae shouts from the living room finally acknowledging my presence for the first time today. Waking me from a dead sleep, that falling feeling startling. “Y/N!!!” His voice booming. Sluggishly, WHAT TIME IS IT?? 1:54 am the alarm clock reads I scream into the pillow and make my wake to the living room. The bright light blinding, Tae on the couch with Jungkook. “Yes?” the annoyance in my tone evident. “We’re hungry can you make us something please?” THE FUCKING NERVE!!!! I roll my eyes “Did you speak to me for the last 16 hours?” confusion creeping onto his face at my passive aggressive attitude. Jungkook’s face contorts obviously uncomfortable. “I was just asking you to make us food, no need to be a bitch about it ill just order out” He snaps back “and by the way if you have something to fucking say then say it I don’t appreciate the off handed comments especially when you could have come to me as well and speak to me..” his eyes roll, Jungkook eyeing the door “WELL!.... this has been......fun. I'm gonna head out. Sorry Y/N didn’t mean to upset you” I smile at his friendliness. “Goodnight Jungkookie, I'll see you next time okay I'm sorry to make you feel uncomfortable.” I escort him out the door.  

Tae’s eyes fuming as I turn around. “Look what you fucking did! You made him leave all because of you’re stupid fucking attitude!” He shouts, throwing his controller on the ground smashing it. “You couldn’t just say you didn’t fucking feel like it instead of pushing my friend out the fucking door” fear creeping up in my body. Me and Tae have fought before but he’s never raised his voice like this. He’s never been THIS angry before. “Tae, I’m sorry but I was sleeping and-” “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?” his terrifying voice booming. Tears sting my eyes all my anger from the day boiling over as the confession spews out of my mouth “NO YOU DON’T BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I DO TODAY WAS A CLEAR INDICATION OF THAT NO? YOU HAVE A FUCKING DAY OFF AND YOU LITERALLY SPEND IT IGNORING ME AND PLAYING YOUR STUPID ASS GAME. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A WALK WITH ME AND YOURE TOO TIRED. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A NAP WITH ME YOU WANT TO BE UP. SO, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT HUH? SO, WHEN I FINALLY, FINALLY FALL ASLEEP YOU WANT TO FUCKING WAKE ME UP TO ASK ME TO COOK FOR YOU AND JUNGKOOK?????????”  

“Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

*10 YEARS AGO,*

“Y/N! YOU RUINED IT! IT WAS MY FAVORITE AND YOU BROKE IT!!” My older sister shouts, as her hand harshly cracks along my cheek. Tears stream down my face, “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to...” I whimper. The mirror on the ground shattered like my heart, my sisters rough hand shoves me to my knees. Glass stabbing at my skin like a thousand knives, her hand in my hair. “CLEAN IT NOW!!!” Her shouting alerts my mother. “Y/S/N? What's going on?” My mother's soft voice asks as she comes into the room. “Tsk....Y/N what did you do now?” Annoyance in her tone, her eyes rolling. “She broke my mirror. She broke my favorite mirror....she's so useless mom why is she here she needs to go.” My sister whined.  

“Let her go, Y/N pick this up and come to my room...” the tone dark. Fear taking a hold of my chest. Whilst cleaning the mirror my sisters torture did not end glass penetrated my hand every time, she shoved me over as I held each shard with care. Dread fills me as the mirror is completely clean. Slowly, I trek to my mother's room my 12-year-old frame trembling as I stand in front of my mother's door heart beating threatening to burst out of my chest.  

“Y/N LETS GO NOW” my mother shouts from the other side of the door. The beating didn’t last too long the pain only temporary; the lecture lasted a lifetime the pain forever. “Why do you have to be so damn useless huh? It's like you enjoy ruining our lives, you never seem to do anything right and I'm so god damn tired of fucking covering for you. SO, you need to go, I don’t care where it is you go but it's not here. I want you out by tomorrow and don’t take none of that expensive shit that’s mine”. I was out within the hour, terrified of what may come if I lasted until tomorrow. Rushing out of the door at 3 am with all of my essential belongings in hand, with no destination in sight.  

Months go by living all around Seoul at parks, bus stations, motels when I get really lucky. Singing in the street to come up with a few dollars to eat. Some days I didn’t make enough and I would slip items in my clothes, becoming quite the “artist”.  One day, I’m singing in front of a small store front 2 gentlemen dressed lavishly listening intently phone recording as my verse comes to an end. Their eyes burning holes into me as a blush creeps up onto my face. The crowd disperses at the top of my hat a business card BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT. Confusion strikes me turning the card over. A small hand written note and address on the back ‘TOMORROW 2 PM’. My heart races WHAT????

*TRAINEE DAYS*

“Y/N-AH STOP BEING SO DAMN USELESS AND PLEASE HIT THE BEAT ON THE RIGHT COUNT!” My groups dance lead, Hye-un shouts. Fury in her eyes, “Seriously we probably would have debuted by now if you could do something right like you can't sing, you can't dance...what can you do huh?? Stand there? Remember you’re only here because Namjoon oppa felt bad for you.” her words cut like knives. “Namjoon oppa thinks I'm good..” I mutter weakly, under my breathe as tears slide down my face. Every girl laughs, “No, honestly no one does like come on, you can't see it, He felt bad for you idiot. You were homeless and needed a place to go.” Jisoo snaps. Her words breaking my heart, grabbing my bag and dashing toward the door. They won't get to see me cry...not like that... not for them.  

Running down the hallway, hunting for the farthest studio away from them to release my demons. THUD! “Oof DUDE WATCH WHERE YO-” The loud voice cut off “LOOK IM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD MOVE” I shout as I stand up to run past the stranger. “Damn... Okay... rude... are you okay though you look like you’re crying” He says as I wipe my eyes getting a clear view of the man that I've collided with. A blush instantly creeping on my face as the familiar face becomes recognizable and my head shoots down, Taehyung oppa. All the anger in me fades quickly as the god like man shifted. My voice is shaky, “IM SO SORRY, I wasn’t paying attention. I'm just having a rough morning. I should get going, I'm so sorry... I..Um...S-Sorry” He chuckles “Ha, you said that already...3 times in fact” a small giggle escapes my lips.

“So, I know you don’t know me or anything but I’m a great listener. Maybe you can tell me what's going on, it might help” He says sincerely. Hesitant, I look down “um....-” “Look, don’t worry if you don’t want to physically tell me give me your number you can text it to me then that way you and I don’t have to be face to face and it can help you to get more out that sound good?” I nod as he pulls out his phone and asks for mine. His number in my phone as Tae<3. A smile creeps up onto my face as he pulls me into a hug. My body melts into his like I've known him for years. “Okay so I'll talk to you later” A smile on his face as he walks off.  

Blushing, as realization dawns on me as I pull my phone out to text him.  

*PRESENT*  

From there I told Tae everything, my fears, my past, insecurities. Useless....that's all I’ve ever been. My sobs no longer able to be held back as they barrel their way through my chest. “F-fin-ne then Tae you won't have to worry about me being in your way anymore” I whisper as I turn around and walk into the bedroom Tae and I share. Locking the door behind me I curl up in bed and let the tears take over me. Mama never loved you, the girls never wanted you to debut with them, they made you go solo because of how useless the group thought you were, You're so fucking useless to Tae. I ruin fucking everything I'm sorry Tae. The tears putting you to sleep eventually.  

TAE’S POV  

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO???????!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!! The regret fills my mind as the bedroom door locks in my face. Her sobs filling the apartment, my heart cracking at the sound. Sitting outside of the door listening to the love of my life cry herself to sleep in our bedroom, alone, because of me. Baby I'm so sorry...you know I never would mean anything like that, but the words never come out.  

Nothing can physically come out as my heart pounds in my throat terrified of what tomorrow could bring. Would she leave? NO! Tae don’t think like that Y/N loves you and she’ll know you could never mean that...right? Tears streaming down my face at the thought. You fucked up...you fucking hurt her in one of the worst fucking ways possible. There's no way she's going to forgive you. Trudging back to the couch as I let the tears consume me.  

Y/N’S POV

The sun beaming in my eyes, burning, as I blink myself awake. Eyes sore, Tae’s words resting at the front of my mind. Making my way to the restroom, the second the door is open Tae is in front of me on his knees. “Baby, I’m an asshole okay but I love you and-and I'm sorry” He pleads as he wraps his arms around my waist head resting against my stomach. Disgust filling me, “Move, I have to use the restroom” Tae’s saddened figure retreats back to the living room defeated. Tears stream down my face as the hot water from the shower soaks me. My pain evident, Tae shuffling outside of the bathroom door every few minutes whispering to himself before disappearing back into the living room.  

Placing one of my tank tops and sweat pants on, I make my way out of the bathroom. Tae rushing behind me as I walk back into the bed room. The saddened puppy looks still on his face. His regret in his eyes, his face is puffy and red proof he’s been crying over his words. The sight weakening my angry state as he reaches for my face and looks into my eyes caressing my cheek. His gaze drifting to my lips, slowly leaning forward he brushes his lips against mine looking for some form of consent. My eyes close as he presses forward and kisses me with so much emotion, his tongue delving in to my mouth and tasting me. A slight moan released from his lips as he presses me against the bedroom door slamming it shut. He lifts my right leg over his waist pulling me closer, as lips slide down to my neck. The way his tongue attacks my neck, drawing a puddle in my panties, his member grinding against me hard as a rock. The need for more grows inside me as Tae pulls his lips off of my body as he whispers in my ear his voice shaky and terrified “I-I’m so s-sorry, I love you and you’re not useless. I didn’t mean it. I could never mean it, you’re perfect I swear. And I'm such an ass for saying something like that there’s no excuse for what I said but please, okay, I'm BEGGING you don’t leave me.”  

A tear slides down my face as he shakes, crying into my ear wrapping his arms around my waist. Tae’s sadness washing away any animosity toward him at his words. “Baby... you hurt me but I'd never leave you. You're all I have and I'm never giving you up” I hug him back. His smile against my neck. “I don’t deserve you.....I'm sorry” I nod and run my hands through his hair. “SO! Were you just being a tease or are you gonna finish what you started?” I ask seductively as I put Tae’s hand in my pants, a smirk creeps onto his face.  

“Oh, Kitten, I have so many plans for us today”  

[hongism]

request from @shibereomma​ :

    “Hi! This is my first time requesting an imagine but I love your posts and was wondering if I could request a 4&16 San ft Seonghwa angst with a happy ending”

oof this req made me really excited bc i haven't done one with more than one member yet so i was both excited and nervous at the same time bUT i hope i did it well and it makes sense?? idek what i'm saying at this point but n e wayz onto the writing

#4: "Why are you lying to me?”

#16: “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?"

...

You and Me (and Him)

"Y/N." The voice startles you, rousing you from the partial sleep state you're drifting in and out of, but you don't look over at the person who is speaking. Rather, you sit up straight in your chair and shake your head to dispel the tiredness from your mind. "Y/N, I asked you a question."

"Hm?" You blink at the person across from you. Cat-like eyes pierce into you. You flinch under the intensity of your ex-boyfriend's stare.

"I asked you a question, Y/N." San tilts his head to the side, eyes narrowed at you and your evident lack of focus on him.

"Could you repeat it? I'm a bit tired." You scratch the back of your neck.

"Late night?" He asks, and you don't miss the hint of underlying annoyance (and perhaps lingering jealousy) in his tone. "I asked if you're happier with him." You frown at his words.

"Do you want me to be honest or tell you what you want to hear?" San's gaze hardens even further at the question.

"Why don't you just lie like you always did while we were together?"

"That's unnecessary, San." You sigh and fold your arms over your chest.

"Well? It's the truth. Something you don't seem to understand the concept of."

"San," you hiss out between gritted teeth. You shift your gaze to look around the restaurant, searching for one person in particular, and San catches your eyes drifting. He follows your line of sight, and you both look over at the tall figure in the corner of the restaurant.

"You brought him? I thought this was going to be just the two of us."

"I didn't mean for him to come. He kinda just...followed along. I meant for it to be just the two of us."

"Why are you lying to me?"

"I-I'm not. I'm being completely honest with you."

"Did you bring him to rub it in my face?"

"San, I just said I didn't want to bring him. I'm not trying to do anything, I swear."

"Are you happier with him?" San repeats his previous question. He brings his gaze back to you, but this time, the gleam in his eyes is much softer. There's more pain there than before.

"We broke up."

"What?" San blinks at you in wonder, eyes growing wider by the second, and if you had it in you, you might laugh at his expression.

"Seonghwa and I broke up."

"Why?"

"He--" You cut yourself off. The sentence that was about to leave your lips is not something you want to admit, even though it's something San would want to hear. Something Seonghwa knew before your relationship came to a crashing halt, a swift and painful break in your heart, and you remember the night he broke up with you all too well.

"I'm ending this."

It hurt, quite a bit more than you would like to admit, and you're honestly surprised that Seonghwa even agreed to be in the same room as you after how you reacted to his following accusations.

"W-What? Why? I thought--we were--I don't understand, Hwa."

"We need to break up. I can't keep doing this, Y/N. You don't feel the same, I can see it. I know you don't, and I know you still love San. It isn't fair to either of us to stay in an unhappy relationship."

"I'm happy though! We're happy, aren't we? We love each other, right?"

You had grabbed hold of Seonghwa's face to catch his attention, only to spot a large number of bruises covering his face.

“Oh my god, Hwa! Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Then why are there bruises all over your face?"

"Are you still holding a grudge, San?" You ask, pushing the memory to the back of your mind as you look at the man across from you.

"Against who?"

"Seonghwa, obviously. You know he broke up with me the night you two got into that fight."

"It's nothing, don't worry about it. Just a small fight."

"Are you blaming your breakup on me?" San scoffs. It's his turn to fold his arms over his chest and lean against the back of the booth.

"You still love him, Y/N. It's obvious that you do, and he still loves you. I'm not going to keep you from being happy any longer. I love you but I know San can love you better."

"No, San, that's not my intention at all."

"If you broke up, then why is he here?"

"Probably because of how you acted last time you were together."

"Are the bruises from him?"

"No, no, no. I said don't worry about that."

"It was him, wasn't it? What did he say to you? We can work through this, Hwa. Don't listen to whatever he said to you."

"This isn't about what happened between San and me. It's about us, what we are, and what we aren't. And I think I know where we both are."

"Not my fault he was jealous." San spits the words out like venom, betraying his own jealousy.

"This is exactly why we broke up, San."

"What? Because Seonghwa was jealous?"

"Because you can't contain your anger and bring it out on everyone."

San sighs, and you catch his eyes drifting back over to where Seonghwa is sitting. "Does he think I would hurt you?" The question is quiet, a soft-spoken tone exposing San's vulnerabilities. Even though you're absolutely certain that Seonghwa thinks that's exactly what might happen, you still care about San far too much to hurt him with the knowledge of Seonghwa's doubts.

"No, never." You say the words a bit too quickly, but San doesn't seem to catch. "Let's not bring Seonghwa into this, San. It's between you and me." Funny how Seonghwa had said something oh so similar the night he broke up with you, and now you're bringing it back around.

"Don't bring San into this, Y/N. It's between you and me."

Even more funny though is the fact that this has never been about just you and San or just you and Seonghwa. No, it's never been that. It's always been about you and San and Seonghwa because Seonghwa has been involved in this mess since before you and San even started dating the first time.

"You asked me here for a reason, San, and I want to give you a chance to explain it."

"Why did you break up with Seonghwa? I want a real reason, not an excuse."

"He..." You trail off, still hesitant about admitting how you truly feel, but San's expression hits something in you. "He wasn't you, and it took me too long to realize that."

"I want you."

"San." There is a hint of warning in your tone. You've heard these words before, you've heard him say this time and time again, three words that weaken you no matter what. You want to be strong this time, even if you want him back.

"I still love you."

"San, please."

"I need you." San leans forward, palms connecting with the table. You press your lips together. "Tell me the truth, Y/N. The truth." And that's enough to break you, tear down your walls of defense, and leave you vulnerable in front of San.

"I love you," you whisper. "I want you." Tears spring to your eyes before you can stop them. "I need you." You furiously try to blink the tears away before San catches sight of them, but you're too late, and they fall onto your cheeks as you look at him. "I want us to try again."

San's chin dips to the table, and a small laugh escapes his lips. "I want us to start over. Well, not start over, but retry with the things we know now. I think...I think losing you once showed me that I need to make more of an effort for you. I don't want to lose you again. I'd do anything to have you back." San reaches out, hand finding yours, and you let him, squeezing his hand as he wraps his fingers around yours.

"I want to give us another chance then." San grins at you from across the table, hand gripping yours tight, and he brings your hand to his lips to land a quick kiss to the skin of your knuckles.

"I'll make sure I do things right this time, Y/N. I promise."

...

a/n: hngnhngnnhgnhngh i am very very nervous about this one bc i've never written something like this before idek if it's even goOD idek ANYTHING y'all im just sitting here Stressed and Confused and Worried so klfjioweruklsdjf yeehaw i have NO idea if this is a happy ending or nah i was feeling the slow burning angst mood

[appleciders]

personally, im also deep in the station 19 muck but like you i wish i wasn't. randomly watched it because pandemic and maya bishop is just so compelling, even with all the bad writing i still love her sm. is there anything you would want to see for season 4? your hair cut fic was so good and i cant stop thinking about how much better the season would have been had it ended like that instead.

first off, sorry to both of us for being here! but i guess let’s take escapism where can get it, hey. second, thank you so much for reading the fic!! i’m super honored you liked it <33

as for what i would want for s4...whew. a lot, lmao. i’ll put in under a cut to save my poor non-s19 followers.

mostly, i want them to please slow down the pacing. let story arcs breathe and build and develop. last season was so rushed—ryan’s death and rigo’s death and pruitt’s death all crammed in, andy and sullivan having a shotgun wedding out of nowhere, maya and carina fastforwarding to i love yous with only 30 second scenes and not a real date to be seen, vic hardly getting to process ripley—i could go on. it’s cheap and messy storytelling. cut it out. 

i also really want them to let relationships do the same. i want to see the friendships that were so strained last season to grow again. show me andy, maya, and vic being friends and supporting each other!! for the love of god!! (show me andy and maya being friends, period. for the whole season. the whole goddamn season. no drama between them, only supporting each other through outside drama. if i have to see another season where these ‘best friends’ are at each other’s throats half the time, i swear to god.) 

show me more team-as-family! a) i eat that shit up, and b) that’s supposed to be the underlying theme and premise of the show. show them laughing and goofing off together, show them holding each other up when things get tough, show them teasing each other to hell and back while they cook together in the beanery. invest in that again.

for the romances....develop that shit. honestly, i really hope andy and sullivan either break up or really do the fucking work to fix their relationship, because as-is, it’s a hot mess. and not a hot mess i particularly care to watch. i liked them fine in season 2, but the sullivan arc in s3 (which...not to out myself as having watched chicago fire, but which is a blatant rip-off of severide’s s1 arc in cf) puts him in a place where he’s not really ready for a relationship. and with the amount of shit they put andy through, she’s not, either. i know it’s impossible on a drama, but i would really like andy to be single this season? idk, i’m tired.

maya and carina better not be all sunshine and rainbows. they need to do the work! they need to show the work! after that rushed-ass ‘forgive me’ scene (where carina was...pressured into forgiving maya like the day after she cheated on her??? and that was framed as a good thing?? make it make sense), they deserve to show them actually navigating that broken trust and rebuilding something real. and as someone who doesn’t watch grey’s, i really don’t know carina very well? 90% of her scenes were her supporting maya through her ongoing breakdown (though a  totally understandable breakdown! not criticizing maya for having trauma), so i’d like to see more of a balance of support in the relationship and more development of her as an individual apart from maya. she’ll be sticking around, and that will be much more interesting if she bonds with other members of the team.

dean and vic...look, my hands-down #1 wish for season 4 is that they treat vic hughes well, with respect, with screentime, and with a good arc. she’s the absolute best. and as much as i love dean miller (hint: a lot), he needs to start guzzling his respecting vic juice if the writers are gonna try to set up anything. personally, i’d really like to see them move past it? awkward crushes between friends happen. putting myself in dean’s shoes, living with one of my best friends who i’m also secretly crushing on, watching her play with my baby...it’d be a lot too!! but that doesn’t excuse being a dick, so i’d really like to see them take some time apart, and then start their friendship back up on a foundation of honesty and communication. because they’re so good, guys.

individual character notes!!!

well. i want every person at this goddamn station to go to therapy. they won’t, but i want them to.

andy needs to go to serious grief counseling after season 3. compounded by what’s bound to be a shitstorm from the discovery that her mother is alive? please. in regards to the whole mother arc, i really don’t want it her disappearance to have been like...gang-related. i’ve seen that posited as a theory, and that’s just a whole bundle of stereotypes we don’t need to get into. i also want the mom reveal to be the main revelation that takes up the majority of her arc the first half of the season, just to have time to process it. the captain’s race took up all of season 1—you can give this twist time to marinate properly.  

vic hughes, my moon, my stars! i really loved the snippets of vic’s backstory that they gave us in s3. as someone who lost a family member to early-onset alzheimer’s in november, 3x09 was...oof. a lot. i love how they committed to fleshing out her past and her backstory more and i love the emotional depth barrett doss always brings to the screen. for season 4, i’d love to see vic get to process ripley and jackson properly. (and here i repeat my forever adage for female characters lol: let them be single for a hot sec.) i want her to move in with maya, because i think that dynamic is so fun and ripe for exploration, and then i’d love to see her digging in to her issues and getting help—going back to the firefighter group, actually talking, spending time with her found family. (sidenote: would love to see her help out with some like youth community theatre classes on her days off? developing connections with kids who have gone through losses, supporting them and in turn realizing the support she needs herself...tell me vic singing with kids wouldn’t be the cutest shit). anyway, i just rly want her to get a good storyline. but i’m not a screenwriter so like...hope they come up with one!

i’ve already written much more than i’m sure you wanted, so i’m going to condense the boys into one paragraph lol. i want jack gibson to heal himself and stop sleeping with taken women! his new found family is super sweet, so i really hope he gets to keep it throughout s4. i want travis montgomery to get only good and happy things, and the same goes for warren. actually, i’d love to see warren step into his new role as team Older Person a bit more? i think that would be a really fun and heartwarming dynamic to play with all the other characters. dean i think i already touched on, but i’d love him to take a breath, apologize to vic and explain, and lean on the rest of his found family. he’s gonna be such a good dad and i’m excited to see more of that.

finally: maya. oh, maya. she needs therapy. you can’t have a character say she’s been dealing with suicidal ideation and anxiety for nearly 20 years and just...magically make it all better. she deserves to get to unpack all the shit with her dad, and all the ways that’s impacted her. on some level, i kinda wish she’d not stayed as captain—i love her scenes so much when she’s allowed to be just chilling on the same level as her team. since that’s not the case, finding a right balance of her as captain and her as friend is gonna be super important. i want her to open up to her friends and lean on them. i’d love for mason to come back, too? i think her trying to heal herself, establish herself as a team member and leader, and rebuild her relationships with her brother as well as her found family and girlfriend would be more than enough material for an arc. it won’t always go great! this stuff isn’t an easy fix! but that’s why it’d be worth writing. plus, so many members of the team have shitty relationships with their parents that even though they won’t understand what maya went through, there’s some really fertile ground for compassion and cathartic ‘fuck our dads’ ball-busting i’d love to see seeded. bonus father’s day episode where literally none of them are happy and they decide to like...go play laser tag or something.

anyway, i’m sure that’s more than you wanted!! but thank you for the q lmao apparently i had a lot to say

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[axther]

Heyo, can I get a bnha matchup? I'm a bisexual ENTP, but am mistaken as an introvert often due to being bad at social interaction and liking alone time. I talk a lot with people I'm comfortable with though. Sometimes I joke in serious situations. I don't worry that much and am carefree, though I can get randomly anxious sometimes. I'm a bit bad with emotions, but I've been told I can cheer people up because I'm optimistic. I'm a deep thinker and have been told a lot I'm smart.

Fnkdaofdnskao i really took a hot second with this one tbh 🥴 but here u go!! Also, since there was no gender listed, i just went w they/them pronouns!! If u want smth different, then just hmu and i can change it!! Also, i am so sorry i made the second one as more of a scenario?? And it was...oof. yikes. Sorry. This has become my style. Scenarios disguised as matchups. Im a liar 

AS OF 05/25/2020 IM A LIAR ITS OUT TONIGHTTTT

#1 is…Denki! 

okokokokok SO

Y’all meet during a training exercise! 

It’s something similar to USJ, except it’s across several different schools and classes

And y’all had to find a bunch of objects 

So there’s a mixed bundle of people 

It’s a sort of competition

And everyone is sweating bullets 

And honestly??

You’re just vibin

And i mean this like, you don’t really seem concerned. 

You’re just chilling while everyone’s fighting, trying to find the best solution. 

Naturally, you’re worried, too

But you know that it’s kinda useless to try and talk over Monoma and Bakugou 

Now

Denki’s staying pretty quiet, too. 

While it looks like he’s just vibing, too, but honestly? 

He’s crazy nervous 

Because here are all these super talented heroes-to-be, he feels like he’s gonna be glossed over 

So as everyone’s duking it out, the two of you are just kinda...hanging in there

Now the thing is 

You guys are avoiding eye contact. 

Not in the sense of ‘oh my god, you atrocity to man,’ 

But in the ‘two bros chilling in a hot tub’ way. 

So as the entire thing is falling on its head

You look over and notice that he’s trying desperately to remain chill. 

He’s kinda fiddling with himself

And you nudge him a bit 

And as he turns to look at you, you may or may not be screaming ‘what the FUCK did I just do??????’ in your head

But when he faces you, you just give him a thumbs up 

Like that 

And he’s kinda at a loss 

But he takes it, and gives you a smile and a big ol’ thumbs-up, too!! 

There’s no interaction again, until he nudges you 

“Do you think they’ll come up with something?” 

You shrug. 

“Considering that the only brain cell in my class went to the Class Rep, and it doesn’t look like these guys their class brain cell, I don’t think so.” 

Denki pulls back a snort before wiping his smirk off his face. 

“Do you think...we could try? On our own?” 

“Maybe.” You shrug again. “You’re the shock quirk user, right?” 

Denki is stunned

Did someone remember him? 

Woah

From here on out consider him whipped 

“Yeah! What’s your quirk?” 

“Crystallian.” 

You watch his face go through a journey of emotions before settling on muffled confusion. 

“Warping, basic elemental magic.” You play with some of your hair. “It’s all tied to a crystal I keep at home. If it’s safe, I’m safe.” 

Denki nods.

He hadn’t heard of quirks where they have a variety of unrelated uses 

But he’s there for it!! 

You two begin to make your own plan to succeed in the exercise 

And once y’all look over and realise that the arguing isn’t going to change, thanks to Monoma egging Bakugou on 

Y’all dip 

And by that, I mean you warp him and yourself to the highest point in the building 

Took one (1) look at the lights 

Shared a glance 

And y’all took out the power

Within about thirty minutes, y’all have all the goods!! 

Most folks are still trying to get used to the lack of light

So when your group presents the stuff to the teachers, Aizawa is tired but takes it 

And so you guys pass!! 

You and Denki talk more after 

And he finds out that you’re part of a special school for kids with special quirks

Which off the bat sounds really bad 

But you meet folks that are like you

and you tell him that he’d probably fit right in. 

He’s over the moon!!! For once!! 

Someone that takes him seriously!! 

Y’all exchange numbers and the entire class can’t begin to fathom that holy shit Denki Kaminari got a s/o before anyone else in the class

Throws them all for a loop

And meanwhile Denki’s thriving w hugs and cuddles 

#2 is…Momo! 

Momo is...complicated

She’s in a rich family with a strong quirk

She’s got more than enough pressure on her shoulders

Especially since she was in 1-A, so the entire literal country of Japan has their eyes on her 

And all the while she’s doing her best to focus, focus, focus

She wanted one day where she could be like Mina, Ochako, Tooru, Jirou, Tsu…

Normal.

So she does it

One morning, while her parents are gone, and before anyone else is awake

She ties her hair up and places it into a gaudy blonde wig 

(Which was a massive pain in the ass, but that was the price of freedom) 

She dons sunglasses, an outfit that in any other case she would die being caught in

Leaves her phone on her bed

Tiptoes down the stairs 

And leaves 

The moment she’s past the gates of her house and out of view, she lets out an enormous sigh 

She has no idea what she’s going to do 

But her heart races a little, because that was the beauty of it!!

She finally had no rules, short of the law 

So she waltzes down the road, the city wakes up, and as the first hour drips by, she notices a distinct wave of youth

They’re not doing much, just relaxing in cafes and alleys

and Momo wonders if anyone is planning to send truant police

but considering she’s doing the same exact thing, she’s not gonna call them out  

But as she passes by an arcade, she notices a group

They’re a bit more subdued than most of the others, just watching one of their friends play a dancing game and fail horribly

But most notably, Momo sees you 

You’re snorting at the lanky girl who’s tripping over her own feet, but at the same time, it looks like you’re cheering her on 

Momo’s curious, of course, but she also doesn’t want to intrude 

But then one of them, a boy, turns and waves her over

She jumps because oh my god and makes her way over 

“Hey, did you want to play? Sorry that Tsukki was hogging the game.” The boy says, and you turn and glance at her. 

At first, Momo’s wondering if she should really join in, but then she sees you, fully…

Ohnotheyrehot.jpg

Unfortunately, you seem a bit closed off because you start talking to the last member of the party 

Momo brushes it off and nods quickly

because goddamnit that’s what she’s here for

being a normal teenager

So she starts playing Tsukki

And Momo wipes the floor with her 

Tsukki takes it well, fortunately, but it sparks conversation 

“Where’d you learn to play?” The boy, Seong-Jin, kept on asking 

Momo wasn’t crazy comfortable telling the Korean transfer student that she had ballroom classes 

But as she’s about to make an excuse

She sees Present Mic out of the corner of her eye 

And immediately panics 

But before she can tell the four that she needs to hide, you come in clutch

You notice her look of panic and take off your jacket

And you drape it over her and pull up the hoodie. 

At that point, all you can see is the bottom half of her face 

(seeing as she never took off her sunglasses) 

And a tuft of blonde hair 

Present Mic even pops by for a second to ask how the kids were doing, and he didn’t recognise Momo

So crisis averted 

Almost immediately afterwards, the five bail from the arcade and ask Momo why she freaked out 

But then you speak up 

“She doesn’t have to tell us. But next time you might need to bail, feel free.” 

You gave her a soft smile, and when I tell you Momo’s face lights up 

You two stick together for the rest of the day 

And Seong-Jin, Tsukki, and the last person, Keito, are here for it

Bit by bit, they start separating into groups 

That is, the Momo/YN group and the Everyone Else group 

Soon enough, the three disappear to do something while Tsukki is shouting

And you and momo decide to take a break by a cafe, on a wall with foliage hitting your back 

and you guys are talking as the sun begins to set 

You guys talk about everything and anything 

And Momo confesses it was the most fun she had in years 

The way you talk to her is almost methodical, with how you seemed to tip toe around any insinuations or trauma.

“I know I only met you today, but if you ever need a place to crash…”  

You trail off, playing a bit with your hands, but more out of awkwardness than anxiety.

Momo’s heart swells. 

She manages out a ‘thank you’ before hesitantly leaning on your shoulder 

And you take a deeeepp breath in 

But you don’t nudge her off

And slowly she begins to fall asleep, and her wig is tilted and her sunglasses are askew

but you glance at her out of the corner of your eyes and give a soft smile 

(that was not the last time you two met, and five years later at the altar, she’s wearing the same damn wig) 

#3 is...Kirishima! 

PINING

This sounds really simple 

But Kirishima would absolutely pine after you for 3.8 million years

Y’all went to the same middle school and you were friends 

And he’s all over you 

Sometime between the first and third year of middle school he just fell head over heels 

And so he tags along with you the entire time 

But after the Giant Figure incident, and he says he’s won’t go to U.A., you get lowkey pissed 

You tell him that he’s worked so hard, he’s come so far, why give up now, he’s only fourteen for god’s sake. 

But he doesn’t listen

And you two don’t talk after that 

After he decides to go for it and not live a life of regrets, he’s doing his best to become someone he wants to be 

But the biggest looming regret he had was the fallout with you

And it was a nasty fall out-parents stopped talking, kids took sides, teachers knew 

You went to a completely different school than what he thought you were

And he was pretty sure that due to the fallout and the constant movement of time, you changed your number 

So he knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as just saying ‘You were right, sorry.’ 

It starts consuming him

Half of U.A. knows that he’s thinking about something 

But it comes to a head when he’s sparring against Bakugou 

And all he’s really doing is blocking

And bakugou loses his shit

“Get your fucking head out of the clouds and focus!” 

“Sorry, dude!” 

“What the fuck has you acting so damn stupid?” 

Kirishima tells Bakugou, who gets it, but doesn’t really try to help 

“Just tell her.” He hisses 

But Kirishima’s nervous 

And by the end of the week, he’s gotten a flurry of suggestions 

People are coming up to him left and right, telling him what to do

And he just gets overwhelmed

On Saturday, he locks himself in his room until Mina knocks 

She comes in and they start talking about you 

And she mentions that she has your number, and that it really would matter if Kirishima was the one to text first

“YN supported you, and then it got rubbed in the dirt, and then ignored again. You need to be the one to say it, honestly, otherwise it’ll mean nothing.” 

So he gets to work

He spends the rest of saturday trying to write it all out his emotions 

But eventually he gives on getting them all neat and tidy, and just lets them ooze out 

Sunday morning he gets up early and types it all out, willing his hands not to shake too much 

Mina and Bakugou are there with him, and though Mina keeps making jokes and Bakugou doesn’t offer much in way of help, they’re there to support him 

So when he sends it and lets out a sigh, Bakugou pats him on the back

“And now, we wait.” Mina murmurs, watching the phone with wide eyes. 

And watching

And watching

And watching

And three days pass before Kirishima gets any sort of response 

He’s expecting to be chewed out, to get the text equivalent of a teary welcome back

Not fucking eight ball. 

But he clicks on it 

And he wins, surprisingly 

There’s a moment between his win and your text where he doesn’t dare breathe, just stand still 

Before you text back 

So. 

ur in ua huh 

guess you did it after all. 

Yeah. 

Again, sorry. I didn’t think a lot of stuff through back then. 

figures lmao 

u free next week? 

For you? 

I always am. 

[mayapenelopeclutterbucket]

*SPOILERS* Thoughts I had while TGD 3x11 “Fractured” aka watch me flip my shit about my otp

Ya girl is already having a stressful year ALREADY and I’m anxious and depressed buuuuut I’m excited for tonight’s ep because my baes said there was some good melendaire content and can’t wait to see what it is and if you’ve been annoyed with my constant hsmtmts content I’m sorry 😂 it was my new fixation especially since tgd was on a break and I’m hoping to get back into the swing of posting more tgd content, we shall see:)) anywayyyys onto my thoughts I insist on sharing for some reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m ngl I wasn’t as excited as I normally was tgd to come back on but now I am feeling the excitement and so reaaady 😆

I forgot how fucking sad the last ep was and how much shit the writers put Claire and shaun thru

I missed shea OKAY I ADMIT IT season 1 shea was just *chefs kiss* PERFECTION

Oh yeah I remember watching this sneak peek and being annoyed af with glassman because he’s an asshole as always and I’m tired oh him and his shitty thoughts/opinions and him shitting on lea and being annoyed because she just wants to be friends with shaun which there’s nothing wrong with that they can JUST be bffs glassy

Did someone really just yell they need a Doctor I mean of course they do you’re in an ER 😂

Morgan being SHOOK about that pain of childbirth lmaooo

Yoooo it’s Rico from Hannah Montana and yaaaasss bitch Claire is on her way back to being her compassionate self

Oof trouble with sharly

Y’all I AM CHEESING SO HARD AT THAT MELENDAIRE MOMENT OH MY GOD that was so freakin great she’s opening up to Melendez and he seems to know about her mom and I just it was BEAUTIFUL they’re going back to pre l*mlendez and connecting and sharing their feelings and talking about their past WE’RE ONLY 10 MINUTES IN AND IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

Oh my god Morgan stop why you gotta be so mean sometimes bby 😂

Yesss shaun snapping back at Morgan’s sarcastic comments

Fuck park up Claire I’m sick of so many characters in this show oh my god lmao

Aww Melendez wanting to side with his boo

This patient who doesn’t want narcotics has the same name as me 👀

How can this lady keep a straight face with how much pain she must be in omg I would not be able to do what she’s doing

Melendez looks so fucking in love with Claire while she’s arguing her case and aww my baby has been thru so much and overcome so much and she’s a kickass doctor and human being and I love her

Don’t y’all love how Claire can always win Melendez over 😂

Park is such a dramatic hardass lol

Aww shaun is making a pros and cons list of lea and Carly

It’s so weird hearing my name mentioned on the show

Oh so asshole Andrews is still somehow married despite the fact that his wife is never shown and he never talks about her

Ayyye I just realized no lim so far this ep I mean I miss her but I’m glad there will be no l*mlendez nonsense because of it but at the same time it sucks her character was really reduced to just being a love interest??!?! The writers really don’t know what to do with a character when they make them chief of surgery 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Holy shit that’s a lot of drugs and not how I pictured balloon drugs to look lol

Lmaoo park jealous about Melendez giving his attention to Claire and letting her do the honors thank god SUCK IT PARK CLAIRE GETS TO DO THE LEAD ON CLOSE BECAUSE SHES NOT AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU kindness always wins when are you gonna learn that, Melendez doesn’t stay impressed with his residents intelligence for long you gotta bring more to the table

Aww shaun listing all the things he likes about Carly and I’m glad he’s telling Carly the truth but now she’s sad and he’s sad and now I’m sad

😭😭 why did I think the moments that were gonna make me cry were over I hate glassman but that was so sweet and shaun finally admitting his fears about being left to glassman was a lot and shaun willingly hugging him ENDED ME

CLAIRE IS BACK TO INSPIRING PEOPLE

Jesus Christ that was intense and graphic and the classical music going with it the JUXTAPOSITION (ooh look at me using fancy words lol)

Man y’all really couldn’t let Claire catch a break and have a good day huh 🙃🙃 LET HER HEAL ASSHOLES (post ep edit look like Melendez is gonna help her heal 👀👀)

Oh my god oh my god oh my god I CANT BREATHE AM I REALLY GETTING MELENDEZ COMFORTING CLAIRE MOMENT OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAD TO PAUSE IT IM FREAAAAKING OUT

IS ANYBODY ELSE GETTING BALCONY FLASHBACKS FROM SEASON 2 OH MY GOD IF NO ONE ELSE HAS GIFFED THAT YET I WILL 😭😭 I haven’t even gotten to them talking because I’m so psyched about this parallel Jesus Christ I can’t

Claire STOP I paused it again lmao BUT THATS WHAT MELENDEZ LOVES ABOUT YOU REMEMBER THAT YOURE DIFFERENT AND SMART AND SPECIAL MY HEAAAART OH MY GOD

HE JUST TOLD HER THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH HER SEEING THE BEST IN PEOPLE AND BEING GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH HER HOLY FUCKING SHIT NOW ITS A PARALLEL BACK TO SEASON 1 my heaaaart fuck

THIS IS OUR MELENDAIRE SEASON GUYS WE’RE BACK 😭😭😭

The sharly angst is killing me and now we’re never gonna see lea if shaun moves out :// BUT SHAUN JUST TOLD CARLY HE LOVES HER 😭

WOW JUST WOW an amazing fucking ep 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’m so freakin glad we got more of a focus on the doctors and not the patients it was freakin beautiful and honestly one of my favorite eps so far like I don’t think I was bored with any of it

THAT MELENDAIRE CONTENT THO YOOOOOO the greatest moment of my life oh my god I’m still not over it I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT and now I’m wondering if should make that melendaire video I wanted to now with their season 3 moments 👀👀 or wait until the season ends because IM SURE WE’LL GET MORE GOD BLESS 🙌🏼

Are we really getting melendaire working together again next ep

P.s. check out my melendaire gifset

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Dating Levi Ackerman would include

-Him calling you cadet, still even though you are on his squad, just to irk you

-you calling him Captain Ackerman or Mr. Ackerman to get back at him 

-“My name is Levi, Cadet. i might have to send you out for disciplinary action next time you call me Mr or Captain”

- Him not trying to bias you, however if the mission or task might severally  harm you in any way he will force you to stay back

- yes force you because you are stubborn

-You are always to the left or right of him when out in battle so he can easily check on you to make sure you are okay.

- “L/N, how are you holding up?’ “Let me know when you are not feeling well.” “If you need to go back and have someone else take your place, tell me. Understand that?”

-He is quite soft and sweet when it is just you around. 

-he will bring you flowers on his off times, or stop by to give you food or a cup of tea when you are on night or morning duties.

-PDA is a no. he doesn’t like to show off the relationship too much because of his position and plus he thinks that the relationship is just between you and him and it is not for others to know how he displays his intimate affection.

-although with that said. if their is a creep or some cadet that is being inappropriate or quite flirtatious, he will intervene by telling them to piss off and he will move your body close upon his to show you are his and not up for auction.

-semi possessive Levi

- Jealous Levi (hides it quite well however you see right through him) 

-occasionally he would kiss you when no one is looking and whisper into your ear how much he loves you and how he would make it back safely for you.

- “ tsk, you do know i love you shit face, right? make sure this place stays clean while i’m gone. when i come back, i will be checking under the tables. ill be careful because i know you worry.”

-you guys don’t fight too often because things are normally pretty chill for the most part however if he is super stressed or overly tired, a fight might break out but it is usually made up fairly quickly.

- you are not super dependent on him, and you don’t flaunt him or show him off

- he appreciates that about you, however he does wish you could count on him some more

- not that you don’t, he just has so much stress on his plate already and you do not want to add to that pile.

-staying up with him, if he is grieving or had a nightmare.

-” listening to all his doubts and fears. 

-cuddling you constantly in hopes that nothing will come to harm you 

- He often worries that your sleep schedule will get messed up because of him but honestly WHO EVEN SLEEPS ANYWAYS LMAOOOOO

- not many nicknames other than ‘idiot’ ‘dumbass’ ‘cadet’ ‘fool’. he just simply thinks your real name is very beautiful 

-oh yeah insults. he will insult you all day and night but it is his weird way of expressing his love to you

-” Hey Cadet Y/N, why do you look worse than jean today? seriously go wash up or something.”

-”HEY LEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIII I WAS THINKIN-”

-”no, go clean the window seals shitty face”

- he really enjoy your presence and would move the earth for you even though he does not always let you know that.

- you are younger than him so he thinks that he’s too old or not energetic enough for you. often has a lot of insecurities about his appearance or personality.

-constant reassurance that he is perfect for you.

-calling him old man just to tease him

-sometimes he acts like your dad but steps back when he realizes it

-all in all an relationship with levi would be quite chill and something that moves slow. it has its ups and downs but he really loves you and he isn’t fond of many humans so take that as you will

note; oof i am tired so im sorry if this is kinda all over the palce but ill post some more tomorrow 

[glassworkspiderlilies]

giyushino week wrap up!

aaaaand that’s a wrap!! thank you to the moderators of giyushinoweek, and to everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on/sent me asks about my fics!!

it was a wild ride to write 8 fics in basically a week or so; i keep saying the fics were hastily or frantically written but LMAO considering how little fic i put out nowadays and how long it usually takes me to write because i edit as i go (which means i take f o r e v e r ), i was seriously just screaming like I JUST GOTTA DO IT I JUST GOTTA GO WITH IT I DON’T HAVE TIME the entire time haha. it was really good to be able to just think of a thing and run as far as i could with it, though!! it’s been quite a long time since i was able to do that, and it was really nice to have a project to work on in the back of my head. <3

ideally, if i work myself up to it, i’d like to revisit all of these and spruce them up to post to ao3, but we’ll see. :’) 

under the cut is just some thoughts on my process during this and also writing each of the fics, if you’re interested! favorite prompt, the most difficult parts to write, what the fic was originally was, things like that. 

thank you again, everyone!! back to hibernation and occasional slow snail pace writing i go, haha.

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re: writing process -i tried writing a fic per day during the week before the actual event, which...kind of worked!! ideally, i was going to write a mostly complete fic each day, and then spend the week of the event editing each one before i posted it. what really ended up happening was that i partially wrote several, but not all of them, during the previous week, and then spent the week of finishing up, editing, or writing the whole thing more or less the day before the prompt was “due”, LMFAO. my weekday schedule is pretty structured because of work--I have maybe an hour or two of free time before i have to sleep--so i doubled down a bit more on the weekends. i know like it wasn’t imperative that i meet the “deadline”, but i really, really wanted to!! i figured i’ve written a fic per day for fandom weeks before so why can’t i do it again, but BOY i don’t know who i was back then. i mean, i still did it (yay!) but it seemed so much easier then?? either i was just writing more back then or less afraid or...something, or it’s just been so long that i don’t remember what i felt, LOL.

-i was really quite nervous in the beginning to post the fics, since again, they’re pretty hastily written and my usual writing process is much more “careful” and drawn out. but, it was also freeing as the week went on to just post and not worry, because the point of the week was to have fun, and not necessarily to write the best work i expected of myself within a limited time. (oh, how the perfectionist in me still hisses, though.) still, i’m glad people liked them, and even the extra notes that i just kinda spit out for some of them. :’) i do wish that some had gotten more attention than others, but those ones don’t show up in the tags and i’m not sure why, so. alas. 

re: the fics -confession: as of now, i feel pretty neutral about all of them, since i wrote them in a frenzy. at some point i’ll probably go back and read them and feel differently (and catch my mistakes! oh no!), haha. -a lot of them ended up being AU, which is...??? unexpected?? but i think it was just easier to put them in an entirely different setting, so i could play a bit more loose with their characters, haha. 

day 1 - glance (or hug) -this one...im pretty sure was one of the ones i waited until the last possible minute to finish up. it’s pretty basic event-wise, one of the few more regular slice-of-lifey ones for the week. it was surprisingly hard to get down the “movement” of it all; a glance is hard to describe in detail and in any other way, but i had really wanted to create kind of this...fleeting, almost nostalgic atmosphere in the back and forth of “he keeps looking, she keeps missing”, if that makes any sense. oof, it’s still hard to describe what i had wanted to achieve even outside of the fic!!

day 2 - soulmate (or family) -this one was SUPER HARD to write!!! originally i had wanted to go with a “A sees flashes of what B sees” soulmate prompt, because i figured that would be SO disorienting and would be fun to play with. but i ended up not being able to run with that one. i had also wanted to do the “soulmates write on themselves and the words show up on the other’s arm” idea, based off of what i had started in a 100 word drabble i did, but that deserved wayyyyyy more exploration and angst i was able to write in the time i’d allotted. i do like the “tattoo” soulmate aus the best, i think, and i did want to explore the one i did more, buuuut. alas. soulmates aus are something i prefer to read rather than write, i think, they can get so complicated!! 

day 3 - AU (or touch) -i’ve already made enough notes on this haha, but this ended up being a little too ambitious!! it wasn’t originally supposed to stop where it did, but i just...kinda got stuck and couldn’t bring myself to continue it, because i knew it would just keep going and needed more thinking out. so i just stopped it at the scene break, and hoped it would be decent enough. :’) surprisingly people seemed to enjoy this one most of all????? or maybe it was just the au itself that was a appealing, haha. regardless, i was surprised at the amount of notes this got!

day 4 - demon & wedding -soooooo this might’ve been my favorite prompt LMAO, like when i realized what i wanted to do for this day, i got excited because like, oooh yeah, pain. definitely wanted to go in on this to flesh out and explore various aspects more than i did, but i think of all the ones i wrote, i might be the most pleased with this one so far. 

day 5 - moon (or angst) -honestly, it’s a surprise i didn’t choose angst for day 5. writing about shinobu’s death would’ve been so easy, but i’ve seriously been putting it off since i started writing for kimetsu no yaiba. both “a blade of honey” and “if not cut at dusk”, which are my longer fics, were intended to be about shinobu’s death scene and turned into something completely different, and i ended up avoiding it for day 5 even though it could’ve been so easy. it’s denial, probably! anyway, shinobu’s MAD BOLD here. she would never. maybe. there’s two shinobus that i think about--the "usual” one, modeling herself after kanae, and one who’s more in line with her younger self/inner feelings. i think i went with the latter for a lot of these fics, because i didn’t have to be as careful with dialogue. giyu might’ve suffered character-wise, though, woops. but again, maybe shinobu would, in the vein that she wants to win and have the last laugh, haha. still, i feel more like she wouldn’t. :P oh, also, do you remember ages ago, when AMVs were still widespread, that scene that was everywhere in naruto where hinata’s bathing/training at the waterfall and it’s like really pretty and cool and stuff? yeah. that’s what i wanted this one to be, a little, LMFAO. genuinely surprised that people thought this one was pretty spicy!!

day 6 - kiss (or ocean) -confession: i wrote all of this while i was at work LOLLLL. it was a slow day, i promise. this might’ve been the easiest one to come up with, because the “quick, kiss me!” to escape situation is a classic. the characterization is preeeetttyyyyy loose here, but it was also kind of fun, honestly. my day 5 and day 6 run in pretty similar veins though, so i had kind of wished the endings were a bit more distinct from each other. 

day 7 - date (or crossover) -honestly i had wanted to do like, a soul eater crossover!! really i was planning out an au, but i think a crossover specifically has characters of two series interacting, and then i was Tired and was like, i can’t do that. crossovers aren’t something i usually read, either, so the planning got too complicated and i gave  up. the date idea was also one that came much later and one that i finished up last minute; i’d wanted to make it a little more cohesive and come up with better things for sabito’s list, but. eh. it got longer than i expected too! ideally there would’ve been more of the college life, and sabito and makomo. i thought about doing another additional notes for this, but there was wasn’t enough i had wanted to add on. really it was just the majors for them i’d been playing with--shinobu as a med student (possibly a minor in horticulture/botany, SOMEHOW), sabito & giyu as hydraulic engineering majors (sabito more on fieldwork, giyu more on research), and makomo as a marine veterinary student. shrug!! the lines of “you do realize we were set up, right” and “this was a date, tomioka-san” were the highlight for me, haha. and i’m inordinately fond of the title.

day 8 - halloween (or n*sfw) -sexy stuff isn’t my forte at all!!!! so halloween it was, but. i was thinking of skipping out on this one, and then was like, oh what the hell, you’ve come this far, of course you’re going to go the last leg, too. already wrote enough notes on this one too, but yeah, this one really was quick, and just barely meets the prompt, i think, lmao. ended up being more of a fantasy au, which was fun, though there was a lot left unexplored. ultimately just glad that i was able to come up with something for the last stretch. :)

please feel free to drop me an ask if you have any thoughts or comments! i’d love to hear your thoughts on the fics for the week, if you’d like to share. :) 

thanks for reading!!

[spacejew]

oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

[nightfayre]

I just LOVE your Pacific Rim AU fic. You write so well! Really! I sent some of the anons that have been highlited here and im so glad you liked them so I'm kinda fan girling a little!!! *0* Also: What do you think the boys want to be in the future? (like, profession wise). And Q2: Do you have, like, a method for writing??

oh jesus, asks like these always make me want to cry! thank you so, so much!! it makes me insanely happy & grateful to hear that people are enjoying F&F, and i’m so excited to continue the story!! thank you!

and as for your questions:

1. oof, this is a hard one. the one thing i know for certain is that He Tian wants nothing to do with his family or their business. he’s been through enough trauma and heartache — especially as a kid — and those broken bonds will not be easily repaired. and while i believe that He Cheng will always be there for him, i don’t see He Tian working in close relation with his brother, either. in some of the chapters Old Xian has released where the boys are older, He Tian is always dressed in attire that suggests he works some kind of office job. however i just can’t imagine someone like He Tian confined to a cubicle for 7-8 hours. the most plausible/reasonable answer i can provide is that He Tian works with some kind of surveillance/security company. he’s never been one for “minding his own business,” and so i think this line of work would suit his power-hungry and nosy personality. he’d be able to work in a profession that is practically the opposite of his family’s business, and maybe that’d help ease his mind as well. in general, i think the opportunity for He Tian to not only work in an office environment but also in the field would suit him perfectly.

as for Guan Shan… oh lord. let’s just imagine that this poor boy has finally shaken off most of his family’s debts and can start focusing on a stable career rather than jumping back and forth between part-time jobs. i can definitely see Guan Shan as a gym trainer and/or weights instructor — especially for kids and teens. it’s obvious that Guan Shan has an athletic streak in him and he’s also been in his fair share of fights due to bullying & the family-related feuds that he got into as a kid. despite the everlasting scowl on his face, i’m positive that Guan Shan wouldn’t want any kid to go through the same shit he did. but since he can’t control the fate of others, at least he can make them strong enough to deal with whatever comes their way. i can clearly imagine Guan Shan offering lessons to middle schoolers, high schoolers, and young adults. plus, the exercise would work wonders for Guan Shan himself, too. all that simmering anger has to be dealt with somehow, and i think Guan Shan would find more value in putting his talents towards a good cause rather than letting himself waste away.

now, Jian Yi. with all the time and education he lost when he was kidnapped in high school, i don’t see Jian Yi working in a career field that demands a higher education. don’t get me wrong — Jian Yi is not stupid and he certainly has an inkling of street smartness in him when drastic times call for drastic measures. however, the world continues to move forward even if you were kidnapped and trapped on a deserted island. so, with all that considered, i see Jian Yi as a small business owner. of course, it would take many years and a lot of hard work and discipline, but the idea of Jian Yi managing a cozy coffee shop or a family-friendly restaurant is too appealing to ignore. he would be a favorite among his regular costumers, and the competition of bigger companies wouldn’t be too daunting for him. honestly, i think he would have a blast as a business owner because now he gets to make all the rules instead of having his life dictated for him.

Zheng Xi, surprisingly, is the easiest one for me to decide. with everything that happened to Jian Yi and what followed in the aftermath — including Zheng Xi’s overwhelming feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, powerlessness — i can 100% see Zheng Xi working in law enforcement. the trauma of Jian Yi’s disappearance will initially crush poor Zheng Xi, but i believe that he’s strong enough to get back up again and work hard to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else without there being an answer for it. of course, additionally, he would also have the authority and support to protect Jian Yi and his other loved ones. Zheng Xi is protective, strong, intelligent, strict, and caring — he will work wonders in law enforcement. of course, he’d look great in the uniform too :)

2. and now your second question! i will put my answer to this question under the cut because this post has already gotten, uhm, tragically long. but read on if you want to see my answer!

this is going to sound a bit weird, but i write the best when i have an enormous bottle of water at hand. it helps me focus and refrain from getting distracted by other things around me. also, it forces me to take breaks when i desperately need to go to the bathroom, lol. getting a healthy amount of sleep also prevents my eyes from getting too tired whilst staring at a computer screen, and a blanket is always around my shoulders to help me feel more comfortable in my stiff chair.

otherwise, for my actual writing style — that’s harder to describe. i guess i try to have an even mix of vernacular and embellished language. it’s hard to explain, but i suppose that i’m always striving to allow the characters’ voices and personalities to shine through in my writing. i never write in first-person but i want it to feel as if it were in that perspective because it allows my audience to feel more connected to the story and better understand why the characters act/think the way they do. however, this often makes my chapters/stories a lot longer than planned because i strive to capture the essence of the boys’ thoughts and actions. it’s painful but it’s really a lot of fun, because one moment i can have a three-bullet list of what i want to accomplish plot-wise in a chapter — and the next moment i’m 10 pages in and have only accomplished the first bullet point…

with 19 Days, all four boys have a distinct voice/personality that makes it so much easier when i’m writing F&F. although they will eventually and literally be in each other’s minds, i want the audience to already have a general idea of how the individual boys think and feel without the aid of the Ghost Drift. it will make it all the more dramatic when two different personalities/mindsets collide (cough cough tianshan cough cough) because the audience will already know what to expect of a character’s personality. idk; i hope that makes sense to you?

TLDR; i start with a bullet list of plot points for each chapter, i keep writing and writing and writing until my fingers start to cramp, and then i’m still never satisfied with what i produce. it’s a hard life…

anyway, this was a long f-cking post but i hope i answered your questions!! and thank you so much for sending me your headcanons — all of them are so amazing and heartwarming!! thank you!!