#im high on cold medicine and i wanted to write something

[emmyrosee]

let’s get angsty bc my cycle is late again and nO IM NOT PREGNANT SHADDUP-

-

Kuroo is known for being ridiculously focused.

When he’s in it, he’s fully into the thick of it, throwing himself into the responsibility of making his work the best it can be, the words and statistics being all he knows for those many hours he sits, tapping his fingers on the laptop on his desk.

Nothing else can weasel its way into his focus when he’s working on something. 9 times out of 10, he’s immune to the interruptions of the outside world.

But nothing snaps him out of a focus more than your pretty voice. Especially if it’s in distress.

But he’s not perfect.

“Tetsuro?”

“What’s up, princess?” He hums, barely looking up from his laptop. He merely pushes the glasses on his nose up and continues to type. He hears you sigh softly and shift on your feet.

“Todays just… been rough,” you explain, and finally Tetsuro pauses to look at you. “Do you… do you think you could come and cuddle? I know you’re busy but… but I really need you.”

Tetsuro smiles and nods understanding, “yeah baby. Just let me wrap up this paragraph or two and I’ll come right down. Make sure you eat something okay? Don’t wait for me.”

You smile hopefully and nod, slipping out of his study to your room, letting Tetsuro right back to his work. He makes a mental note of the time before cracking his neck and diving right back in.

One sentence turns to a paragraph. Then, one paragraph turns to two. Two to three. Three eventually becomes two pages and Tetsuro is on a writing high that he can’t stop; he’s smiling at his own work, eagerly gnawing his lip and beyond excited to finally wrap this shit up, and-

He’s interrupted by a buzzing on his desk.

Annoyed, he tries to pause it to stop, but when he can’t, he groans in frustration before picking up his phone.

22:30 : Medicine.

Fuck.

It isn’t until his medicine alarm goes off that he realizes how late it’s gotten. It’s been four hours since you came in.

When he snoozes his alarm, there’s a text from you that shatters his heart: gn i guess

Immediately, Tetsuro feels sick to his stomach. He doesn’t even bother shutting off the lights and saving the documents on his computer before he flies down the stairs and into the room, chest heaving and breath caught in his throat when he sees the heatable bear encased in your arms, light from the tv casting a shadow on your features. He tries so hard to keep his breathing quiet, he knows he let you go to bed alone, cold and in your own head waiting for his stupid ass to come down and be with you.

He swallows thickly before he shuffles over to you, plopping on the edge of the bed and trying to keep you comfortable. He doesn’t want to wake you, not when he’s done so much already.

“I’m sorry, angel,” he whispers, thumb gently smoothing over your temple. You whimper and angle your head into the warmth of his hand. “Fuck, I’m so sorry…”

Sometimes, when Tetsuro talks to you in your sleep, you give him a smile, a little quirk of the lips at the tone, and he takes it as a sign that you’re there with him and you can feel his love even if you’re not conscious to witness it.

Tonight, though, your brows furrow. Your throat releases a meager noise of distress and he sinks his teeth into his lip; even as you welcome his touch, it’s as if his words still distress you, and you’re hurt. Your nose lets out small, huffy breaths, and you crush the bear tighter to your chest.

He lets his head down in defeat before kissing your head one more time before standing up; he shuffles like a zombie up back into the small study and shutting everything down: slamming his laptop shut, snatching the cold cup of tea and aggressively flicking off the lights to go back and join you in bed.

He plants the tea on his nightstand before curling up next to you under the covers, careful to keep his cold feet away from you. He tugs you softly to his chest wordlessly and buries his head against your neck, arms heavy and caging to keep you against him.

He wishes you could feel the way he’s blinking back his frustrated, remorseful tears. He wishes you could’ve had your last awoken moments be filled with cuddles and giggles and stolen kisses and playful bites.

But no. Instead, you needed him, you came and asked for him, and he couldn’t stop himself for one damn hour to be with you.

“I’m so sorry, babydoll.”

[baileypie-writes]

i need a male reader with veneer asap i dont care what happends but im desperate atp🛐🛐🙏🙏

A/N ~ Sure! I hope you enjoy like the story I picked out!

~I’ll Take Care of You!~

(Part 2 here!)

Veneer x Male!Sick!Reader

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Reader: Male

Relationship: Romantic

Synopsis: You’re sick, and Veneer insists on taking care of you.

Warnings: Reader having a cold, Veneer being a bit protective, cringe

You felt yourself being pulled out of your dreamless sleep by your ringtone. Rolling over with a groan and a dry cough, you checked your phone to see who was calling you: Veneer. Of course.

You answered his call. “Hey, Veneer.” Your voice was raspy.

“Hey babe. Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah.” You coughed again.

“Woah, you feeling okay?” Veneer asked, concern in his voice. As you were now fully wake, you came to the realization that, no, you in fact were not feeling okay. Your throat was really sore.

“No, not really. I got a sore throat.” Before you could say anything else, a dramatic gasp came from your phone.

“Oh no, are you sick? I’m coming over!” His words came out very fast, making his concern more obvious.

“That’s okay Veneer, I can take care of myself.” You tried to calm him down. While you loved your boyfriend, you didn’t want do deal with him hovering over you all day. You just wanted to sleep. But your attempt was proven to be a failure, because you could hear him zipping up his jacket, and grabbing his car keys.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon!” Said Veneer, clearly not hearing what you said. “Love you, bye!” He hung up. You flopped onto your back and let out a long sigh.

“Well, at least I can stay in bed all day.”

~~~~

About ten minutes later, you heard a car pull into your driveway. You knew who it was, and knew he had a key to your house, so you didn’t bother getting up. You heard the door unlock and open, followed by Veneer calling your name.

“I’m in here!” You called hoarsely. You heard quick footsteps approaching your room, then your bedroom door swung open.

“Hey! How you doing?” Veneer asked, clearly still worried. He walked towards you bed. You shimmied out your covers to sit up.

“Not any better than I was ten minutes ago.”

Veneer gave you a sad look, then put his hand to your forehead. “Yikes, you’re pretty warm. Do you have a thermometer?”

“I’m pretty sure I do. It should be in the cabinet to the right of the stove.” Veneer nodded, then zipped out of the room. You heard some digging around in the kitchen, then the sound of the cabinet closing. Your boyfriend came back a few seconds later, thermometer in hand. He held it in front of your face, so you put it under your tongue.

The two of you sat in awkward silence for about twenty seconds. Then the thermometer let out a beep, signaling that it was done taking your temperature. You took it out of your mouth, and looked at the tiny screen.

“Damn, 100.2 degrees.”

“Oh no, that’s high! I’m so sorry! Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? I can make you something-” There he went again. Nervous rambling.

“I would really appreciate it if you got me some medicine and some soup.”

“You got it! Just sit back, and let your amazing boyfriend, Veneer, take care of you!” Once again, he ran to the kitchen. You sighed, and layed back down. Before you could fully fall back asleep though, a question popped up in your brain.

“Does Veneer even know how to cook?”

The question worried you for a second, but you decided that you were too tired to care. You just let yourself fall back asleep, fully trusting Veneer to take care of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[johannestevans]

Do you have any experiences you feel comfortable sharing around realizing through self dx and/or prof diagnosis being adhd and/or autistic? i have a strong suspicion i have both or one, but the symptoms make it hard to actually do some substantial research to come to an actual conclusion.

Honestly, I've know since as long as i remember that something was 'up' but my kid logic was just like 'ohhhhh if i watch enough people, ill do it just like they do, i wouldn't be different anymore :))' but whoop who would have guessed you cant logic your way out of feelings, or symptoms or disability. like i kinda stalled facing the fact by just saying; 'oh im neurodivergent but ill be undiagnosed out of respect that's good enough for me'.

But finally finishing school and talking to peers outside of school made me realize that what's 'up' with me hasn't been alleviated or fixed. that all the stress of being different hasn't faded. that i just learned to manage it to survive. that maybe an even more uncomfortable fact, that i wasn't even managing it WELL and the people around me knew the teachers knew but i was black and a 'girl' so they'd just treat me like i was lazy or didn't want to learn or i just wasn't intelligent enough to learn. did i have a difficult home life? was there a reason i wouldn't finish assignments? why id act out? why i'd always avoid eye contact? nope this kid didn't finish the assignment/is fidgeting/is RUDE, and they'd send me to the hallway and id try not to breakdown. wash rinse repeat until the end of the year and suddenly the teach was so warm and so happy to have taught you!

Nothing changes i made it though elementary, middle and high school and i didn't get a badge or pat on the back just the worst burnout at 18. i held out so much hope that oh ill work it all out and school will someday be a breeze. id just been holding onto a pipe dream for 12 years.

so when i type in "tips for keeping a tidy room"...."for adhd" or "are binders uncomfortable for people with sensory issues?" or "binder for sensory issues" and these all come up with answers that actually speak to me, i kind of start reeling! Dude this shop from singapore i ordered from sent me a binder no sensory issues, perfect fit! after trying multiple bras cuz 'binding is uncomfortable' but this binder man no chest dysphoria, all the comfort that people would signal to me whenever id say "ugh bras are uncomfortable right?"

the cold authority figures i had as a kid don't deal with the fallout of 12 years of shame and discomfort with next to no explanation. but you cant really pin it on someone. its all the culmination of systemic '-isms'. THAT's hard to make peace with.

so ill finally admit that "ill just be undiagnosed out of respect :)" is just internalized ableism. that a lot of what i thought about myself was just internalized ableism. ill give every other person the benefit of the doubt regardless of professional diagnosis status, why don't i afford myself that same compassion the answer is obviously internalized ableism now that i write it out. but I've got to heal everybody does.

But damn if healing isn't bitter! medicine that can only be sweetened up with artificial strawberry, lest it loses its potency. so ill take the first step and round back to the beginning of what i was saying;

hey! pursuing a professional diagnosis as a black, young,trans person in the us south is daunting. do you have any autism and/or adhd self dx resources, neurodivergency resources or have any anecdotes about living with both that are fun i never hear about enough fun ppl have! anything would be helpful!

Hey there!

My experiences were pretty wild, honestly, I wasn't diagnosed through school and university even though I was a pretty classic case, and then I did pursue my Dx as an adult a few years ago.

It was pretty expensive, and because I'm self-employed and set my own hours that are quite intuitive and based off of my own needs and limits, I actually found that the medication I was prescribed made my workload harder to handle.

It's not that the medications for ADHD are bad - if I ever go back to university or enter more traditional employment again, I do want to keep meds in mind as an option - but that they're really intended to get you focused and adjusted for a 9 to 5 or other traditional job structure, and that's just not what my life looks like.

I will say that like...

It's not that a diagnosis is bad, but I actually do have some concerns about it in terms of receiving medical care - some bigoted doctors use ADHD and autism diagnoses as a reason to withhold medical care or otherwise to deny healthcare and assistance; some countries actually stipulate in their immigration policies that a condition like autism will negatively impact your ability to immigrate there.

If you want to try medication and you feel like you need it, official diagnosis might be a good route for you, but if you don't want medication, official diagnosis might be a hindrance as much as it could be a help.

There's nothing wrong or bad about having a diagnosis, what I'm saying is more that like... If you have ADHD or autism, then you have it whether a doctor agrees or not. You only need that doctor's piece of paper if you want to seek out medical treatment - lots of people seek out other resources while being self-diagnosed, especially because seeking out clinical diagnosis can be so expensive, and you can avail of any online resources without being "officially" ADHD or autistic, you know?

I don't have a huge amount of resources, but a few recs I have are:

ADHD Alien's comics - Pina's comics are very cute and I find a lot of them very relatable, but they almost always also have resources linked in the replies by Pina themselves or somebody else, specifically for the issue addressed in each comic.

HowToADHD - Jessica's videos are really comprehensive and go through a lot of ADHD experiences from different angles, especially looking at the day-to-day issues of the workplace or the domestic sphere with lots of little tips!

I was on Jeremy Sachs and Katherine Cox's podcast this month with my friend Ashleigh Wilder, and we talked about the impact of autism and trauma, which might be helpful. Ashleigh is an actor and poet, but he's got a background in psych, and they post a lot of resources around autism and other neurodivergence like OCD.

Healing sucks big time, and it takes a lot of time to unpack a lot of that internalised pain and fear - and also just like... recognising the things in you which might be to do with neurodivergent traits, and realising you can seek out resources or things to make your life easier.

It's a long journey for any of us, but I wish you luck, and I hope some of these resources make it easier to seek out more!

In general, I would absolutely remind you to always tack on "for adults" when searching for a lot of resources, simply because so many of them assume ADHD is a kid's condition and a kid's concern.

[belovedtylerr]

Heyy! Could you write something about sick Derek x reader? Maybe some fluff? <3

Hellooo!! And ofc course I can <33! Tysm for requesting

High Fevers

Summary: You basically take care of a sick Derek who managed to catch a cold.

Warnings: if you count few tears then ig so? Mostly just fluff!

You and Derek had been dating for a couple months. For most of the time, he barely got sick, mostly just the sniffles if anything which was easily manageable. Although one day he didn't show up to any of his classes, which had you worried sick! (No pun intended) After your classes, you rushed over to his dorm. Thankfully you had a spare key and got in easily. To you're surprise he was nowhere to be found. You checked the kitchen and the bathroom, yet still nothing. You saw the door slowly creak to his bedroom as you walked in with caution.

You stepped in, only to see Derek in his bed, sprawled out. Sweat was dripping off his back as his face looked both pale and red. You rushed over quickly. "Oh my gosh! Are you alright?!" You looked at him slightly panicked as he looked up. "Oh, hey Y/N." He seemed so casual for such a serious situation in your eyes. "Babe, im fine I promise. Just a little fever is all." you refused to believe it was 'just a little fever.' You kisses his head, his hair being damp from the sweat as you frown. "Im getting you some medicine, clearly this little fever of yours is getting out of hand, you might have a cold." You start to walk to one of the cabinets before grabbing some cold medicine before walking back.

"Don't be dramatic Y/N, I'll be fine!" his attempt at reassurance didn't work on you. You frown as he sits up, before turning his head. "Don't be a baby." You say as you held out a teaspoon of the medicine. He sighed before turning his head back to you. You place the medicine onto a small shelf before sitting beside him while he layed back down. You held his hand gently as he smiles at you. "... You don't have to help me, you know." You kiss his head. "It'll make me feel better." He laughed as he flipped his pillow to a colder side. "How about you get some rest?" You grab an Ice pack from the freezer before walking back to place it on his head. You put the blankets over him, before laying with him. "You realize you're gonna catch a cold being with me right?" You smile at him as you wrap your arms around him. "Its so worth it." He laughed and shook his head.

He cuddled up to you, he snuggled against your chest as you smiled lovingly. "You know, being sick isn't so bad when you're around." you grin. "Its probably because im magical." you say, earning a giggle from him. "You're something alright." His big hands wrap around you, pulling him closer. He was pretty sweaty, but he didn't care. All he cared about was you, not even himself. He just wanted this moment to last, besides being sick. "You're burning up again." he groaned as you released your arms from him. You get up before taking off the covers, making him shiver. "Put on some shorts, then try to lay back into bed." He sighed before getting up, his legs being numb causing him to almost fall before you caught him. "Looks like im the damsel in distress for once." He joked as you held him before reaching to get shorts for him. You helped him put them on before making sure he went back to bed. He cuddled one of the pillows as he tried to get comfortable, though it was obvious he was still tense.

He was flipped on his stomach as you carefully climbed on top of him as he smirked. "Not like that!" You say as he laughed, obviously implying something else. "Im just gonna give you a massage, to relax you." he put his head down. "Maybe I should be sick more often." "shut up."

A/N: im soo sorry its short and it took so long! Work has been eating me up! Thanks for the request!

[passivenovember]

Harringrove Week Day 1: Candy Corn

--

When Billy was a little boy Neil could scrape up an apology that wouldn’t make him bleed.

Maybe it was Billy’s mother. Her absence, or the words she’d thrown like daggers at him the night before she left. You’re too hard on the boy, she said, you’re skinning him alive. 

Either way, after harsh words and frozen peas pressed to angry purple skin, Neil used to appear into his bedroom and toss Billy’s jacket onto the bed. 

He’d light a cigarette right there in the doorway and mutter, “Parade’s comin’ down main any minute now,” Because when the leaves turned gold and firetruck red, that was as good as any I’m sorry you got saddled with a shitty old man like me, kid. 

“Could probably look up the majorette’s skirts if we get good enough seats,” Neil would tell him. When Billy refused to look up from the trampled shag carpet in his bedroom, both knowing Billy would never be interested in the baton girls on Main Street, his father would soften a little. “We could score you some free candy while we’re at it,” he’d say, and Billy would thaw. 

Just like that.

His coat always fit like a life preserver, on those days, driving across town with Eagles playing on the radio, his dad smoking Black N’ Mild’s with the windows down because fall in California was still warm enough to trap promise in between the folds of dusk. 

Neil would park the truck somewhere far from Main Street and they’d walk together. Billy charging ahead, sadness swallowed by anger as he tried not to process what had just happened, and they’d run smack into it.

Parade season. 

Billy was still small, in those days. Too short to see over the traffic breakers. Neil would ash his cigar and hold out his hand.

In those days, it didn’t automatically mean pain. It didn’t latch like a bear claw, it didn’t rip him open.

In those days it meant, “Let’s get you a better seat.” It meant Billy, clumsy like a baby dear on his father’s shoulders, accidentally tugging at Neil’s mustache hair while he laughed it off. While the floats marched by. 

While his mother’s boys healed themselves under the rain of unwrapped candy corn.

Steve only knows about those days because Billy mentions it at the fall festival. High on half a joint and tipsy from too many hard apple ciders.

He’s wearing a cropped top that says “corn my hole,” that Steve won him at the Iowa State Fair on their way home to California, and he’s gotta be babysat.

Steve’s holding onto his belt loop, laughing to himself as Billy nearly rips his arm off to get to the pier in time. 

“It’s a parade,” Billy tells him, “It’s the Halloween parade, they do it every year and we’re gonna be late--”

“Which means we’ll be that much more on time to see it next year,” 

Billy whirls on him, beer-drunk cheeks so red they look like poisoned apples. “Don’t joke about the parade.”

“I won’t,” Steve giggles. “C’mon, we’re gonna get shitty seats.”

Billy grips him tightly, reeling Steve closer until they’re pressed all down their fronts. 

Steve will never get tired of this. Being affectionate like this, where everyone can see and no one gives a shit. 

“Will you put me on your shoulders?” Billy asks seriously, eyes twinkling.

And Steve knows the story. Gets the significance. Is honored, deep in the pit of himself where the walls are covered in Billy’s name, that this boy trusts him.

“Sure,” He says, “C’mon.”

[peachy-tea-anon]

I've noticed a lack of ranboo x reader in this world and as he's my fave I thought I'd request something with him <3

I was hoping to get a super fluffy sickfic with lots of comfort if possible <3

“𝙸’𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞“

a ranboo x gn!reader sick fic

a/n: absolutely!!! i have a finished ranboo x reader fic in my drafts, i think im just gonna write a ton of fics tonight and pace them out, but i'd be happy to write this, i love sick fics. sorry if this one is a bit rushed, but i hope you enjoy, and remember: stay peachy🍑

you felt like shit, to say the least.

your fever was high, but you felt so cold. you were incredibly congested, nose dripping, and you had a headache. you could barely move. you needed to do something.

so you called your boyfriend.

okay, okay, it sounds cliche. but he was the only person you could think of.

your shaky, weak hands dialed his number.

ring

ring

"...hey! what's up?"

"hey, what are ya doin?"

"just out with tommy and tubbo, are you okay? you sound sick."

"i am, i feel terrible. well, ill leave you to hang out with tommy and tubbo, i love yo-"

"im coming over."

"no, hang out with tommy and tubbo, don't worry-"

"im. coming. over."

before you can say anything, he hung up.

not much longer, and hes letting himself in.

"y/n?"

"in here" you say shakily, letting out a small cough.

he walks and and immediately rushes to your aid.

"don't get close, i don't want you to get sick."

"i don't care, my gremlin needs help, i help."

you giggle at the nickname, and he pulls you in for a hug.

"so," he claps. "i bought juice, crackers, ginger ale, cold medicine, ibuprofen, teddy grahams, and gummy worms. those are for me."

"thank you ranboo, you really didn't have to do all this"

"but i wanted to." he looks at you with a lovesick smile. even with a runny nose, you would always be perfect in his eyes.

he goes the full 9 yards, he draws you a bath, he makes you soup, and he cuddles you until you fall asleep.

what you don't know, is while you were asleep, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

"i love you"

"you're my angel"

"you make me so happy"

"there isn't a thought that crosses my mind that isn't about you"

"how did i get so lucky?"

when you woke up in the middle of the night coughing, he gave you cough drops.

when you said your muscles hurt, he would massage you.

he took such good care of you, and he never left your side until you felt better.

he was amazing, and you were lucky to have him.

he was yours.

and you were his.

--------------------------------------------------------♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

[rosesfox]

To what that Anon said, beware im about to get some of similar complaints about ACOSF and Nesta’s growth too storm!

GOD I’m dreading Elain being ruined the way Nesta was for me too especially after how she developed her in ACOSF. Nesta being a warrior can fit any cold female character sure but a character who hasn’t gotten off her ass in the longest suddenly becoming this warrior, joining the blood rite, not having enough scenes with her sisters specifically Feyre and not getting a more in depth apology (Amren’s ass who didn’t even consider Nesta a friend and disrespected her like shit on a boot got a heartfelt apology from Nesta. ON HER MF KNEES. the hell did she do to deserve a better apology than Feyre, was saving her life supposed to replace proper apology dialogue? I guess so 🥴) suddenly knowing archery and it just made her look worse for doing nothing so what was it added to her for and after this long of no one mentioning she could do that? not even believably written, calling Elain a dog, suddenly being passionate about dancing, there being more smut than any Cassian growth or how it overshadowed the plot and proper relationship growth, disrespecting the honor of how and who joins and wins the Blood rite when with the Bat boys it was acclaimed to be so incredibly difficult and they just..won it with hiding “using logic that the men don’t” and magic bracelet manipulation by the queen as a cop out to give them Illyrian titles. I think she made Nesta’s friendship seem YA af too, they acted like middle schoolers in an…adult book. “let’s read smut hehehe” like what series am I reading? A bubble bath and baby Pegasus? Am I reading Percy Jackson or adult fantasy? Too many plot holes, retconning and just poor decisions that she apparently seems oblivious and careless about. Was the editor asleep and just let her write what she wanted to? Apparently yall 😵‍💫

I adore Elain and am worried I won’t like her growth or the way SJM writes her part of book…I’m expecting the same amount of girl bossing and smut as Nesta had no matter what we’ve known Elain to be like. I’m not saying she can’t be freaky but having her do too much does NOT fit her more modest personality. Because I know damn well she’ll write Az incredibly sexual probably even more so than his brothers considering his masterbaiting to even just a gift from Elain, MEDICINE for christs sake. Him being known to have secret lovers and SJM’s bestfriend hyping SJM up for super freaky Az? It’s going to be nasty in their book and let’s hope it makes sense and isn’t overdone like Nessian was and overshadowed proper growth and plot smh. Elain seems super secretive and I hope she doesn’t upset anyone and we have drama in the fandom over her.

All in all, SJM wrote a book I’ve never read so many inconsistencies or flaws in so yeah, I’m nervous that I’ll dislike Elain too. Feyre had the best damn trilogy and growth and I so badly want to love Elains but she seems to be writing worse now, even CC2 had a lot of cringe things, the oversexualization of Bryce and people claiming she’s meant to be a Queen when her maturity and communication and selflessness is barely there..

I went off 🥲 I’m sorry admin but so many people complain about this that imagine how cringe she can write Elain. I don’t even want to see her become a High Lady of Dusk like everyone so badly wants because…hy the hell would my girl become that? What has any other sister besides Feyre done to deserve their own court aside from being a Lady? I love Elain and can say that if she becomes a High Lady I will sell my book and only claim Feyre and leave fandom. This isn’t hate for Elain! that quick ass growth to a High Lady just makes no damn sense. Bring dusk back to life possibly that’d be exciting, heal it bring it back to life sure or do something to the prison but please SJM don’t make her a damn High Lady. That’s it..

i agree with everything you said. i hate it when they make acosf look like a decent book or as if nesta is sarah's most developed character when there are all these inconsistencies and sarah has managed to make the relationship between the sisters even worse.

all your concerns about elain are perfectly understandable. i'm also afraid that sarah's going to make a cheap, disgusting porn like she did in acosf, and that she'll ruin azriel like she did cassian. when we compare it with acosf, it's really scary. i hope she stays true to the personalities of both azriel and elain, as they both exude romanticism and affection and not just sexual energy (since, come on, nessian doesn't have the slightest romantic involvement and there's only sex in the book.)

i also find the oversexualization that sarah has with the characters disgusting and unnecessary. It's not empowering, it's just embarrassing. bryce definitely wasn't fit to be queen and it's not even the kind of development she's had. also, i don't think elain will become a high lady because that theory doesn't make sense and doesn't fit anywhere. helion is more alive than ever and i find it very difficult sarah to kill him for nothing.

my theory is that elain will discover herself as a seer, she will have to interact with azriel and do quests for night court while she makes her own decisions. i want to remain confident that sarah will respect the characters she has created and developed over the years and that it won't change everything.

[jeonfiles]

better left unsaid - jjk

genre: angst, rebounds

pairings: jungkook x reader (ft. namjoon)

warnings: arguing, alcohol, profanity, break ups, light smut, use of drugs, jungkook is a fucking dick, jungkook has major attachment issues, toxic relationships, oc cries a lot, namjoon has a heart of gold, unrequited love

synopsis: you knew you shouldnt have given him that second chance, not the third or the fourth either. no matter how much you try he always slithers his way underneath your sheets, arms wrapped around you.

word count: 2.7k

music: into your arms, so it ends?, you will fade, thinkin bout you, julia, my insecurities not yours, fuck u, goodluck, my dear i will think of you

note: uhh ive never written a y/n fic so bare with me, if u listen to the music you’ll be able to feel the story a lot more so yeah if u have time u should, not proof read

Light coming through the cracks of the blinds, making you squint your eyes when the daylight beams into your eyes, head resting on the kitchen island Looking up, you saw the clock ticking on the wall, 11:32 am.

You had stayed up till 5 am, waiting for him to come home, but seemingly, he never did. Reaching for your phone, you saw 4 missed calls from the one and only,

Jeon Jungkook, saved in your phone as “Koo <3″, Rows of messages too, all from the same contact.

Koo <3 [05:34 am]

baby pkck me up pleseee

im so wsated

Koo <3 [06.46am]

dont be mad at me jsut pick me up

i dont knw hewere the fuck i am

i love you

Koo <3 [07:31 am]

i got a rde home i’ll be home by 12

i need to talk to someone frsit

im sorry if i woke ypu dont be worried

You took a few moments to collect your thoughts, but there wasn’t much to collect. This whole thing, was a routine by now.

Standing up to make yourself a cup of coffee, you could literally not feel your own backside, you were so sore from the barstool you had been sitting on all night, and it made you groan in pain.

Two coffee cups right beside the kitchen sink, which you couldn’t bring yourself to clean up, because it was from the last time you had coffee together, which was 2 weeks ago.

The inside of the cup had a coffee crust at the top, and both your lip tint marks on the outside.

When you finish your cup of coffee while watching a bad telenovela, you go sit in your favorite chair and pull out a few books from the backpack hanging on the chair next to you, getting ready to get some studying done.

For a few seconds you imagine Jungkook hanging over your shoulder laughing at the way you write your A-s and R-s, or the way you always sign your homework at the bottom of the page.

And when you open them, there’s no one there. The only sound is from the refrigerator, making refrigerator noises.

You had met Jungkook 3 years ago, when you were at college orientation, senior year of high school. He also wanted to attend Yonsei, just like you.

And when he whispered to you about how bored he was, you couldn’t help but giggle, and then you got yelled at.

It was worth it though, because everyone was jealous of you afterwards,the  Jeon Jungkook had talked to you.

Jungkook was an all-rounder as they called it; great physique, intelligent, charismatic and great at sports.

And god, he had a beautiful face, and such a filthy mouth, and it didn’t go long before you gave in to his seductive ways and slept with him. The morning after, he wasn’t in bed with you, and your heart sank.

Luckily, he was in the kitchen making you breakfast.

It was all bliss from there, showering you with love, gifts and kisses for two years, and you even ended up moving in together.

And now? You barely remember what he sounds like, smells like and is like.

A distant memory, just as distant as him.

Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted as you heard 3 knocks on your door. The exact same way he had always knocked when he had forgotten (or lost) his keys.

And even though you should have let him suffer a little, you rushed to the door to open it, and in front of you, was your biggest nightmare.

It was your love, crying his eyes out, bleeding from one of many cuts on his face, looking nearly dead. He collapsed into your arms, and you could only utter a few words, along the lines of:

“How could you do this to us?”

As he was laying curled up in a ball on the couch, face plastered up, ice bag on his knee, wrapped up in a blanket, you realized. this was your que to cry.

So, you did. You cried in silence, sitting across the room from him. You weren’t mad at him for coming home late, or getting in another fight, probably the 5th just these past months, you had gotten used to that by now.

There was a whole other reason that made you cry.

He smelled like Victorias Secret Bombshell, you recognized the scent because it used to be your favorite,  however, now you’ve moved onto something less sweet, and more elegant, like Caroline Herrera.

He smelled like someone who wasn’t you, his girlfriend.

He smelled like another girl.

It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe because the Jungkook that had come home to you that morning wasn’t your Jungkook.

Your Jungkook was varsity jackets, star of the american football team (which your school was known for), selfless and humorous, and he would always take care of you.

Your Jungkook was not ungroomed hair, cigarettes and worsening grades. He was not cold and lifeless, and he would never make you cry.

Despite this, you were carding your fingers though his hair, thumb wiping away the blood on his lips while he was sound asleep as you slowly fell asleep next to him.

Maybe it was time to let him go. 

Maybe.

You woke a few hours later from your phone vibrating.

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:01 pm]

Hey Y/N! Have you started working on the statistics assignment?

If you haven’t, would you be interested in meeting at the library tomorrow? You’re really smart and i’m kinda struggling ://

You [07:03 pm]

i finished it yesterday, but if you buy me coffee i’ll come help you hehe

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:04 pm]

You’re the best, I’ll bring you a machiatto!! :D

Maybe it would be nice for you to get out of the house, even though you hate the thought of it, and you would much rather just swim in your own sorrow.

But you did go out the next day, and you helped Namjoon get a decent grade, enough to pass with good margines, he thanked you by taking you out for ramen at a convenial store not too far away.

You thanked him for the ramen with a trip to the museum, and he thanked you for the museum trip with a picnic in the park at night, which led you to crying over Jungkook in his embrace, telling him every single little detail.

He made you realize it was time to let Jungkook go and make room for new people to enter your life.

You went home that night, and you found Jungkook passed out on the couch, and you could genuienly feel your chest tighten. Soft features which stood out under the moonlight glow, disheveled brown locks which hung down in his eyes.

He was gorgeous, until you saw the credit card on the table next to three bottles of soju and an empty beer can on the floor. And you knew what he had used the credit card for, though you didn’t want to say it out loud.

You cleaned everything up, and you threw the residue of the white powder right in the trash can, and you recycled his bottles and cans before finally, nudging him to wake up.

“Jungkook, wake up.” You spat coldly, or at least you attempted to.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes before opening his eyes, and s huge smile on his face. “Y/N, you’re home!” He reached to kiss you, but you backed away.

“Y/N?” Jungkook questioned, he didn’t quite understand what your intentions were.

“Don’t try anything Jungkook. This was your last chance, and you fucked it up, again.” The room turned ice cold. “I’m getting you help Jungkook, you need help. And then...”

He understood what kind of help you meant, and since he had now sobered up, he agreed, nodding. “And then...?” 

“And then.” Your words were ludged in your throat. “And then I’m leaving you.”

His whole face dropped, smile turned into the frowniest frown you had ever seen, and it was all silent before his lower lip starts trembling, and his eyes start turning glassy.

“It’s alright. Sorry for burdening you.” Was all he could say before tears rushed down his cheeks, and he started shaking.

So you did what you always had done, and you wrapped your arms around him, head resting on your chest as he sobbed.

“Is there anyone else?” he cried out before another wave of sobs hit him.

This exact question made your stomach hurt, and your throat burn. You really had no idea.

Or you did, but you didn’t want to.

You loved Jungkook so much, but you couldn’t be with him in this state. So you did what every rational person would do in this situation.

“Yeah.”

You lied.

“Oh ok. I don’t have the right to be mad do I?”

You shake your head no.

“I love you Y/N. I’m sorry I’m so messed up.”

“It’s ok.” was all he said before he fell asleep in your arms again.

That night you slither your way out of his embrace and you pack your suitcase in the dark, bringing all your essentials, trying to be as quiet as possible so you didn’t wake Jungkook.

Packing enough for two weeks or so, you make the bed and leave your t-shirt “accidentally” in the bathroom, and you make sure all his clothes are folded, and then you sort his pencil case, throwing out old pens and worn out erasers.

You leave a grocery list on the counter, and you tuck him in good under the blankets after you took his jeans and socks off so he could sleep comfortably.

You placed his vitamins and medicine by the refrigerator so he’ll see it when he goes to grab something to eat. 

Puffed up pillows, a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and underwear is now placed neatly on his bed. Then you walk into the kitchen again, and you see Jungkook still sound asleep, sniffling a little still.

There’s one last thing, and it makes you cry. It makes you sob so loud you cover your mouth and muffle the sound you make. Sinking to the floor, your whole body is in contact with the cold tiles.

Only a year ago you could never imagine yourself even shedding a single tear over something as small as this, but here you were, on the edge of a panic attack.

Two worn out, matching couple mugs still placed by the counter. one if the first things you two had bought together, as well as the necklace hanging around your neck.

Finally, you stopped crying and started cleaning the mugs, lip trembling as you dried them and placed them in the back of the cabinet.

You unhooked your necklace and laid it down on the counter, and the biggest lump formed in your throat.

Actually, there’s a little detail you forget. 

You kiss Jungkook on the forehead and leave a note on the coffee table.

“Dear Jungkook,

If you want to make this up to me (this does not mean a new chance!!) you call the number at the bottom of the page. No matter what happens, I’ll always have room for you in my heart. You even have your own little VIP lobby in there. And - if it’s urgent, call. I still care for you, and I always have. You were the best boyfriend I’ve had, but good things always come to and end, don’t they? Anyways, I’m tired so this letter fucking sucks, but deep down you know how much I love you. Remember to get groceries, shower, get fresh air and study. If I forgot something you can keep it, as long as you call the number and tell them you’re my friend. They’ll help you love. Try and get a part time job too, your student loan and your dad’s money won’t last forever. Good luck Koo. Hwaiting!!

-L/N Y/N <33″

You cringe when you think of the letter’s contents, before you roll out your suitcase out of the front door, whispering a faint “Goodnight Love.” as you close and lock the door behind you.

Standing by the elevator, you cry again. This time, louder, but you still reach for your phone and type out a text to the newly edited contact in your phone.

You [02:13 am]

coming outside now, im a crying mess and im super cold, is your car heated?

sorry for making you wait btw :((

Joonie <3 [02:13 am]

dont worry about the crying part, i’ll hold you. and yeah car is heated, so waiting here wasnt all that bad. you ready for this?

You  [02:14 am]

i have no idea but i cant stay here any longer and i trust you sooo

lets start our new chapter. eh?

4 months later...

He had been good to you, great even.

You had been on expensive dates, picnics, had heart to heart conversations, and he’d been so understanding.

Today, it was your 2 month anniversary, and he had asked you on a magnificent date, which he had planned every second of.

At the end of the day, you told him how you don’t love him. He said it was alright. Namjoon loved you, so much, yet he understood you needed time.

You went to sleep that day, warm in Namjoon’s embrace, wondering how Jungkook was doing. 

You felt bad, but you missed Jungkook.

You were both with someone new now, and you knew he was in good hands with someone stable enough to care for him.

Before your eyes closed shut, you shed a few quiet tears and hoped that you’d fall in love with Namjoon soon, and deep down you knew you would.

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

Re-watching House as a Physician. Pilot Episode. Neurology in the young.

I’d actually recommend this as an exercise.  Re-watching this as a means to motivate studying. It’s truly terrible watching it. So much so, that you want to do it properly or throw shit at the TV. 

If I had students and we couldn’t physically see patients I’d probably tell them what episode to watch and we’d go through the cases together. Go through all the things the team does wrong. Then discuss the things you don’t know yourself.

Because that is actually how you learn best.  Recovering from your mistakes. Identifying gaps in knowledge. 

Unfortunately, all my current students are final years and they do have to see real patients. 

Opening episode: 29 year old female, no past medical history has expressive dysphasia then a first seizure.  How do we know it’s expressive dysphasia?

IN the episode, the patient notices she’s having trouble getting words out, and is able to write. Then has a seizure. Wilson actually has a good introductory statement here. House finds the case boring, this really isn’t boring. If it doesn’t excite a physician it should certainly terrify them. A la house of god, rule number X = Treat the dying young. With urgency. The majority of patients I see in IM are in their 70s-90s, have predictable issues like metabolic syndrome, heart failure, arrhythmias like atrial fibrillation, infections like community acquired pneumonia and dementia. These are my bread and butter. 

More often than not, my primary role is to ensure a dignified end of life care. Many of them come in already at death’s door or will be imminently there. To continue to push them through medical treatment when they no longer have resilience to go through them, is to prolong suffering. 

You can’t predict how someone young will respond even to the most aggressive of treatment. You give them every chance you have. OFten if the young are sick, it’s really bad. With the elderly, a common cold can make them really sick as their body is in decline. 

Young patients with a single organ system issue will usually go to a subspecialty.  Actually any medical subspecialty or IM in general is considered “diagnostic medicine”. It’s just different flavours of it. 

1st seizures: - it’s rare to have a second.  - usually the cause of underlying seizures is infection - follow-up is clinic with neurology. It’s rare to require further.  - we could go into differential seizures, but that’s a whole other post in itself

(Epilepsy only occurs if you have a number of them and this is rare)

In the case of House, they jump straight to cancer like webmd.

Before they do much, she jumps straight to radiation therapy. This is completely unrealistic. This sort of thing requires multidisciplinary teams to pour over all her results and discuss the best way forward. Chemo and radiotherapy are notorious in the general public for having crazy toxicities. For obvious reasons.

It’s weird re-watching these, where medicine is no longer a foreign language. Actually, it’s watching someone for whom English is a new language and they haven’t really gotten it yet. The tense and grammar are all wrong. 

I watched the Queens Gambit - holy fuck is chess a foreign world and language. I know the basics, but none of the strategies. Sicillian sounds like a great name for a tasty pizza. Or something else. 

Anyways, it takes a whole lot of time before they get to differentials. 

Honestly, you would be getting to these the minute you hear the presenting complaint. Then considering how to rule them in and out. For students, always have the surgical sieve in mind. 

Differential diagnosis of expressive dysphasia in a young woman are then addressed in the episode. here’s what they consider: - Aneurysm and stroke (haemorrhagic stroke in this case if we’re talking aneurysm), incidentally most common cause of berry aneurysms is high blood pressure. this is a decent consideration. but you would have seen it on imaging from the start. 

- CJD = very much mad zebra. I wouldn’t even suggest this. You would if it was rapid onset dementia or behvarioural changes and they came from high risk areas (eg ate burgers in the UK in the 1980s and 90s). But rapid meaning weeks to months. Not sudden onset within minutes. It’s more stroke.  - Cncephalopathy: requires an LP to go over this, and she doesn’t present with a fever either. regardless, important to consider. would always consider an LP in addition to imaging.  - Wernicke’s: only consider if they have a nutritional disorder like severe, chronic anorexia (which she doesn’t have) or heavy alcohol use. This is caused by thiamine/VitB1 deficiency. A thiamine level test takes days or weeks. We would never wait for a thiamine test to come back, you’d treat IV thiamine straightaway. I mean it’s vitamin B. This is a terrible differential to consider so near the top. She also doesn’t really have the other symptoms.

Then there’s the more obvious differentials they didn’t bother to consider: The greatest mimic for a stroke particularly in young women is migraine. You can have similar neurology, but it’s often associated with a headache.  If we wanted to chase zebras in the young, you could consider a PFO (holes in the heart that are congenitally there) and thromboemboli causing stroke. (In other words, you develop a clot, normally the lungs will pick up the clot like a filter before it gets to the brain. But the clot can bypass the lungs via holes in the heart and give you a stroke). This is always the consideration in cryptogenic strokes (in which you have a young patient without any reason for having an atheroma causing stroke). Risk factors for thromboemboli can include the oral contraceptive pill (estrogen can be thrombogenic) and then long periods of immobility, think long haul flights or trauma to the long bones or surgery. IN rare cases, those who had particular types of heart surgery as an infant, like a Fontan’s. But this is very niche mind you. And they’re often already on preventative therapy. Infection is a key thing to consider, where there are risk factors. she’s not immunosuppressed or done any exotic travel or eaten raw foods she shouldn’t have eaten (raw pork, bad sushi etc.). It’s a shame they didn’t mention it early. THere’s a few infections that go to the brain but you’d often have these in mind with the risk factors as stated before. THe imaging is often a giveaway

Learning point here - always eat cooked pork! Finally, cancer. But it’d be obvious on imaging if you’d already developed seizures or focal neurology, the lesions would already be large enough to pick up. the sad part to many brain tumours is that they’re already very large by the time of presentation. Beau Biden for instance, presented with acute confusion before his diagnosis, preceding that he had weakness and altered sensation (the lesion was likely too small at the time to be picked up on imaging and was diagnosed as a stroke). 

I would rarely be referred brain tumours, the emergency department will have scanned the brain and seen something that would prompt referral to the neurosurgeons. When you’re young and have a lesion/tumour, any team will try everything, including majority surgery, to salvage what life is left. it is very tragic. 

Anyway, stopping here. Already too much stuff to dissect and unpack from just the first episode alone. Note that I’m in IM, no doubt a neurologist or neurosurgeon will have different opinions on this episode. Ha. 

[thenamesseven]

Pairing: Jongho x reader

Genre: Romance, angst, jail au!

Warnings: Angst, a lot of angst and mentions of blood.

Word count: 4.3

A/N: IM FINALLY BAAAACK! My internship is over and I finally had the time to finish writing this chapter! Sorry for taking so long, I promise I’ll be around for more often now! ^^ Enjoy this chapter!

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Blood. 

When Wooyoung opened the infirmary door and watched the scene in front of him, his surroundings started spinning around at a fast pace. The male gripped the door handle tightly, breathing shortening to avoid smelling the metallic scent that filled up the room.

There was blood everywhere on the floor. It would be impossible to get to him without stepping into the sticky bloody puddles that were forming around his body.

Wooyoung had seen all kinds of things while working in a jail. Fights, attempts of murder, suicides, death wasn't a stranger for him. This time however, there was something different about the situation he just encountered. The one laying on the floor might be a criminal, Mingi's hands were stained with blood, with theft but under all that, behind all the things he did, a good person hid. Wooyoung knew Mingi wasn’t bad, life just brought him to this place but he would have surely made better choices in his life if he had the chance to in the past. 

Time slowed down when reached for his walkie-talkie, panick was blocking all of his senses like he couldn't even hear himself as he called for help and medical assistance. Wooyoung rushed to the inmate's side, almost falling down onto the floor when his shoes stepped on the blood that surrounded Mingi's body, the red liquid made the surface slippery and Wooyoung would have to be careful if he didn't want to make the situation even worse by hurting himself too.

"Mingi?" His voice was rushed, tense and shook with hesitance as he reached out to shake his body "Mingi'' Wooyoung's voice turned stern, trying to see if a stricter voice would bring him back to consciousness. "Mingi'' He tried again, kneeling down onto the floor, staining his uniform pants with blood as he reached out to gently slap his face. 

He needed a reaction. Anything. 

Desperate to get any sign of life from him, Wooyoung's eyes scanned the inmate's body, quickly finding where the open wound that was covered by blood and stained clothes was. It was near his stomach, more on the side, the amount of blood looked bad but he knew Mingi would survive if the knife hadn't touched any vital organs. His hands flew to the wound, pressing as hard as he could in order to stop the bleeding. 

Mingi groaned loudly in response, probably in pain due to the sudden pressure on his side and Wooyoung felt as if the heaviest weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

There was still some life in him, everything wasn’t lost yet.

Despite Mingi not enjoying the sensation of Wooyoung’s hands pressuring his side, the male kept doing it as hard as he could, ignoring the awful sensation of his hands becoming wet and sticky with another man’s blood. He was not good at this, if it hadn’t been a life or death situation he would have probably passed out already, Wooyoung was never a fan of blood.

“Mingi stay with me” He muttered looking down at the inmate, watching how the slightly older male struggled to keep his eyes open, his vision becoming blurry as he didn’t even know who was the one hurting him “Don’t fall asleep alright?  You have to stay awake” 

“Jaehyun…” He whispered, ignoring everything Wooyoung was saying. If he was going to die the last thing he was going to do was drag that fucker down with him. He probably wouldn’t pay the consequences, Jaehyun had made sure to get along with the high ranks of this jail but he would try at least, he just had to.

“I know it was Jaehyun, I know” Wooyoung looked at the door when more guards stumbled inside, instantly stopping as soon as they saw the scene in front of their eyes. One of them ran out and the sound of his gagging as he threw out echoed in the busy hall loud enough for the people in the infirmary to hear.

“Mingi” Wooyoung gently slapped his face when he saw him closing his eyes, his body temperature was unbelievably low and his muscles were too relaxed for Wooyoung’s liking “Mingi stay awake, the ambulance is coming” 

“Jongho…” 

Wooyoung shook his head, motioning for Mingi to shut up and save his energy in order to stay conscious “He’ll visit you later, stay with me Mingi, safe your strength”

“Take care of him” He insisted, not listening to Wooyoung “Don’t let him get in trouble, no matter how stubborn he is” 

“Mingi-”

“I know you don’t hate him that much” The smile of Mingi’s face caught Wooyoung so off guard, that he opened and closed his mouth like a breathless fish, not knowing what to do or say to his most recent words “I know you’ll help him, I know you’ll get him out”

After saying those words, Mingi lost consciousness. Wooyoung knew it because his eyes closed and his muscles relaxed so much that Wooyoung started panicking. “Mingi” Wooyoung repeated his name, gently shaking him in order to wake him up “Mingi?” His tone, more urgent than before, alarmed the cops outside that were waiting for the ambulance and paramedics to arrive “Mingi!” 

But Mingi couldn’t hear him anymore.

Hospitals are commonly disliked by people. It was a word that brings bad memories to people, a synonym for death and illness which is why most humans try to avoid this place. This is totally understandable though, you don’t come to a hospital to have some fun. Sure sometimes happiness filled the rooms due to recovery or births but that feeling usually got drowned by the sadness and desperation that filled the rest of the patients around.

You’ve always wanted to work in a hospital though, the idea of taking care of people, watching them recover and helping them through their illness always got your attention. You’ve been the kind of person that put others before yourself, Jongho usually scolded you about this but it was your nature, you just couldn’t help it. 

Today was different though. 

Today you hated this place as much as a normal human being did.

You rushed out of the taxi that drove you here from your apartment as soon as the driver stopped in front of the entrance. Placing some money -that would surely be more than enough- into his hand, you grabbed your purse and closed the door, half walking, half running to your destination. Pushing the double doors open, a wave of sickness and nausea hit you hard as soon as the characteristic smell of antiseptic mixed with medicine filled your nose, you ignored it though, as well as the serious yet worried glance the woman at the front desk threw your way. The brightness that only became stronger by the white walls and floor surrounding you made your head spin but you somehow managed to keep walking forward, taking step after step closer to where Wooyoung had told you they were waiting.

All kinds of thoughts ran through your mind.

You should have been there with him, you should have been there to stop it cause Jaehyun wouldn’t have acted the way he did if you had been there with Mingi, you shouldn’t have left him alone, this would have never happened if you had been there instead of hiding at home like a coward. Blaming yourself wasn’t new, you’ve always had a tendency of being a bit too hard on yourself when something happened, Jongho knew this better than everybody but this time he wasn’t around to silence the mean voice that whispered in your ear, that haunted your mind.

Standing there in the waiting room were Wooyoung along with Hongjoong, Yunho and San, who sat nearby the doors that led into the different operating rooms. You were the only ones there though, hopefully Mingi was getting as much help as the doctors could provide right now. Wooyoung stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed on his chest, tension evident in his body. He was still covered in blood and the sight of him made you gasp so loud that they all turned their heads towards you curiously, worried. Pain and distress obvious in their features.

This is all your fault.

“(Y/N)” 

Before you could say something, Wooyoung opened his arms and welcomed you into them, wrapping them around your fragile body gently and comfortably, soothing the pain and heaviness in your chest for a few seconds. The blood was dried in his uniform so it didn’t stain your clothes but the metallic yet disgusting scent surrounding him didn’t let it go unnoticed.

“What happened?” You asked quietly, still with his arms around you “How is he?”

“By the time I got to the infirmary to check on him he was already on the floor” Wooyoung explained quietly, running his hand up and down your back “He was conscious so I tried to keep him awake, try to stop the hemorrhage but there was too much blood and he stopped talking and-”

“What I can’t understand is how things like this can happen in a place where inmates should be watched throughout the whole day?” San’s hard yet cold voice brought silence to the room, you dragged your eyes towards them, acknowledging their presence for the first time since you got here.

The three of them looked miserable.

Wooyoung let you go and turned around to face them. He was tense but you knew him well enough to know he would attempt to stay calm in order to not let the situation get out of hand. “Some of them manage to find the right times to get away from us and-”

“So you admit you guys are not doing your job well?” Yunho joined his friend, glaring at Wooyoung as he crossed his arms on his chest. Hongjoong limited himself to look down at something that was displayed on the screen of his phone. Probably business? Whatever it was seemed to be important.

“I mean, that wasn’t even the place I was watching” Wooyoung replied hesitantly, not liking the accusations that were suddenly being thrown his way.

“Guys-” You tried to stop the upcoming argument, to help them relax a little but San glared at you, shutting you up immediately.

“Why were you going to the infirmary then?” He asked, curiously looking at him. “Were you involved in what happened?” He pressed further, willing to pressure him even more.

“What are you trying to say?” Wooyoung stepped forward, hating how they were trying to blame him for what had happened while he had only wanted to save their friend.

Yunho stood up and took a step closer to Wooyoung, taking the same threatening stance Wooyoung had and before you could get in between them, Hongjoong that had stayed quiet during the entire exchange and who you thought wasn’t paying attention to any of the words that were being said finally looked up.

“This is not the place nor time to discuss this” He said, seriousness evident in his face as he looked between Wooyoung and Yunho. None of the males moved, still staring into each other’s eyes right before their leader spoke up again. “Officer Jung did as much as he could Yunho, now we just have to trust Mingi”

“He better get out of this one alive” San scoffed besides him as Yunho sat back down, your blood freezing when you saw how much hatred, how much pain shone in the male’s eyes “Because I’ll make all of their lives a living nightmare if he dies” 

“He will” You whispered quietly, rubbing your eyes as Wooyoung sighed taking a seat besides you “He will get out of this one”

The room Wooyoung had guided you into was similar to the ones you’ve seen in movies before, it felt as if you were about to get interrogated by someone, that wasn’t the case though and unfortunately, you were just waiting to deliver some news. Something you couldn’t believe yet.

The ticking of the clock was the only thing that could be heard as it echoed in the empty room, your fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie as you stared down at the table, nervously waiting for Wooyoung to arrive. The tissues filling your pockets were starting to break into small pieces from how much you’ve been fidgeting with them and your swollen eyes burned from all the tears you’ve shed during the last few hours. Your nose was surely as red as Rudolph’s but that was not the thing the worried you the most.

Your current biggest worry opened the door and snapped you out of your thoughts, his eyes full of concern landing on your face as soon as he entered the room.

“Twenty minutes” Wooyoung said from behind Jongho, eyes on you to make sure you wouldn’t surpass the time limit he was putting on your little reunion “That’s all you got”

“Thanks Wooyoung” You whispered quietly, not trusting your voice too much. Wooyoung just threw 

a small smile your way, eyes scanning your face briefly before he closed the door behind Jongho, going to wherever he would have to go to make sure nobody else would notice Jongho wasn’t in his cell at this time of the night.

You were sure he had heard what happened, news flew fast in this kind of place but you still wanted to be the one to tell him, you wanted to be there for him even if that meant seeing him break for the first time in all the years the two of you had been together.

He deserves to be told by you that Mingi was dead, that he wasn’t coming back anymore.

Jongho still stood by the door, ignoring the empty chair that was placed on the other side of the table waiting for him to take a seat. His hands were in his pockets, eyes down on the floor as he moved his weight from one of his legs to the other, not even knowing how to stand.

Letting out a shaky sigh, you gathered as much strength as you could and stood up, feeling his eyes on you while you walked around the room, picked up the empty chair and placed it down in front of the one you’ve been sitting on all this time. Jongho needed to be closer, he would need you to comfort him as soon as you confirmed the awful thoughts running through his head right now.

“Sit down” You told him, motioning to the chair you’ve just moved.

Jongho looked up at you, making your eyes meet. Time stopped between the two of you, the broken glance in his eyes broke your heart even more and you knew that even though the words hadn’t left your mouth yet he still knew what you were about to say. He wasn’t stupid after all and if Mingi had recovered from the attack he suffered in the infirmary the two of you wouldn’t be here, looking at each other, beating around the bush since none of you wanted to say it out loud.

“Listen to me” Jongho was the first one to break the silence, sadness dripping from his tone as he reached out to grab one of your hands, holding it gently.

“Jongho wait” You cut him off before he could keep talking, the sound of his voice giving you the little push you needed to start talking about what you planned to said “I need to tell-”

“I know” He nodded, eyes staring into yours as his grip on your hand got tighter. There were tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, pain written all over of his face but like always, Jongho kept his mask up and acted as if he was feeling nothing, as if this was just one of his usual days “I know (Y/N) and you need to listen to me”

“But-” Just thinking about Mingi being gone brought a thousand tears to roll down your cheeks, your hands shaking as he gently pulled you against his chest. It was unbelievable how you had come with the intentions of comforting him but it ended up him being the one comforting you. Jongho’s pain was surely stronger than yours, Mingi had been there for him when you couldn’t, he had been the one that kept him safe in this hell and now that was gone.

“I’ll cry his loss when this is over, when we’re safe and sound” He said gently, one of his hands caressing the back of your head while the other kept you close to his body. “You need to listen to me attentively, alright?” Jongho moved back enough to look into your eyes, both of his hands cupping your cheeks now so you could only look at him, not allowing you to look away. “Things are getting really bad for me” He said honestly, wiping your endless tears with his thumbs as they fell “Jaehyun is coming for me (Y/N) and let’s be honest, he has more friends than I do in here” Everything Jongho was saying made perfect sense, Jaehyun’s freedom was getting out of control and he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted unlike Jongho. That scared you to death, his next target would be Jongho for sure and the thought of losing him like you lost Mingi only increased the pain in your chest.

“I’ll get you out of here” You said almost immediately, heart pounding against your chest “I’ll talk with Hongjoong and we’ll speed up the process and-”

“(Y/N)” Jongho’s voice lowered, his hands squeezing your cheeks a bit tighter to get your attention “I know you will baby, I know you want to get me out of here” The small smile on his lips broke your heart, something told you he was saying goodbye to you, that there were plans in his head that wouldn’t end the way you wanted to.

“You can’t leave me” You begged, shaking your head.

“I never will Treasure, I will never leave you” Jongho’s voice trembled and the alarms in your head rang louder “Listen to me alright? Just listen to me and you can say whatever you want when I’m done” Taking a deep breath you nodded, stomach twisting nervously, anticipation killing you “Something might happen to me, we both know that (Y/N), there’s nothing Jaehyun wants more than killing me” Your lower lip trembled when you nodded at his words, you also knew that and you hated yourself for not being able to do something against it “I’ll obviously try to avoid that though, it’s not like I’m going to wait for him to attack” His smile was full of sadness and he looked at you desperate, helpless “But if something happens-” 

“No”

“If something happens” He repeated caressing your cheeks, one of his hands leaving your face to move into one of his pockets. His hand shook with emotion and nervousness “I want to do this if, unfortunately, I don’t have the chance to in the future” Before you could process what was going on, Jongho went down on one of his knees right in front of you, looking up at you with a look of love and adoration you’ve never seen in his eyes before. His mask was coming down, he wasn’t hiding his emotions from you anymore.

“Jongho-”

“I know you’ve imagined this way differently” He said with a small smile, tears still present in his eyes as he reached up and grabbed one of your hands “Because I was there when you talked for hours about how you’ve always wanted your wedding to be” Your heart was beating so fast at this point that it wouldn’t surprise you if it suddenly broke your ribcage and got through it “And definitely getting proposed to in a jail was never your number one idea but this is what I’ve got, I’m tired of waiting and I’m not taking the risk of losing my last chance” Jongho squeezed your hand tightly, a tear slipping from his eyes “Treasure, (Y/N), I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you” His confession squeezed your heart, you’ve always known Jongho and you had feelings for each other but hearing him say it hit you way differently “It’s surely not a surprise because let’s be honest, I’ve always made sure you knew you were and still are the most important thing in my life” His touch got gentler and his eyes softer, he couldn’t believe he was finally doing this “And if I get out of here, I promise I will give you the world baby, I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, we’ll have that wedding, you’ll have that house you’ve dreamed of and I’ll hopefully help you create the most beautiful family in the entire universe” You bit down on your lower lip, seeing how more tears started rolling down his cheeks “But if something happens, I don’t want to….To die regretting not doing this, regretting not making you mine” He suddenly stood up, pulling you closer to him, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’ve always been yours” You whispered quietly, letting your tears mix with his as they fell down your faces

“Marry me (Y/N)” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a proposal, he was begging you to do it, dying for you to accept him not as your best friend or as your lover but as your husband. Jongho wanted to be your other half, the person you would spend the rest of your days with, the one you would die for if it came to that “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, the reason I’m still alive fighting against all chances, the fuel that keeps my heart beating” He was whispering these words, voice shaky as if he was scared to say this too loud. Jongho has never been good when it came to feelings but he was opening himself up for you and only you tonight. “Be mine forever, you’ve already stolen my heart….Why not steal my last name as well?”

His last sentence made the both of you smile quietly, this cheesy side of him would have been truly funny if you weren’t in the situation you were in right now. He was asking you to marry him but deep down, it still felt as if he was saying goodbye to you.

“On one condition” You cleared your throat and looked at him, serious as ever “You have to get your ass out of here” You said holding back your tears, hearing your own voice breaking almost a thousand times during the same sentence “And prepare with me the wedding of our dreams” His smile got bigger, his head automatically nodding at your words “And you’ll have to wear a tuxedo” He hated them, Jongho always complained of how uncomfortable they looked but you knew he would look incredibly handsome in one of them.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to see you walking down the aisle” He whispered, staring down at your lips, his hands holding one of yours as he slid a ring down your finger, the cold metal turning your skin into goosebumps “I know it’s ugly as fuck but it’s what I’ve found around, I’ll get you the prettiest ring ever when we get out of here” The two of you laughed softly as you looked down at the bland stripe of silver metal around your finger. 

“I love it” You mumbled happily, making him laugh a bit louder this time.

“You do huh? Choi (Y/N)?” The sound of your name along with his last name made your hearts simultaneously skip a beat, both of your smiles getting undeniably bigger as you looked into each other’s eyes. “So tell me”His lips brushed against yours temptingly, hungry for kisses. “Will you marry me? I swear I’ll wear a tuxedo” You giggled against his lips, nodding quietly at his words.

“Yes Jongho, I’ll marry you”

Outside in the parking lot, Wooyoung leaned back against a black car, cigarette between his lips as he breathed in the smoke that released some of the stress in his body.

“Thanks for the help today, we wouldn’t have been able to do it without you” Wooyoung shrugged at the words. Keeping his eyes up on the moon that shone above them.

“I just did the right thing, it was time for me to finally do something” He replied, kicking a stone near his shoe, watching it get lost in the darkness that surrounded the parking lot.

“You’ve been doing the right thing for a long time Wooyoung, without you, who would have watched Jongho’s back all these years?”

“I won’t feel like we succeeded until all of this is over” He simply replied, pushing himself away from the side of the car as he stepped on the cigarette he just threw down onto the floor.

“We’ll get him out of there alive, just hold on there a little longer” 

“I think we’re running out of time” He turned around to look at the male, eyes serious and voice tense. Things were getting too complicated, the plan wasn’t going how it was supposed to. Getting Jongho out of jail wouldn’t be as easy as they thought it would be.

“Have I ever lied to you?” The other asked him, smiling a little when Wooyoung shook his head “Trust us, Jongho and (Y/N) will be out of here as soon as possible” 

“Better hurry up though” Wooyoung insisted, not afraid to pressure the other male “It will be better if you guys get them out of here alive rather than Jaehyun getting them out of here in plastic bags”

“Patience is the key to success” A sigh was heard, the engine of his car revving alive since it was his time to go. He had things to do, plans to discuss with the rest of his friends. “Pleasure working with you officer Jung”

“As long as you keep (Y/N) safe, the pleasure was all mine Hongjoong”

Taglist: @guess--monster @cometoceantrenches @miatsubaki23 @lovelyvitamin @heroesfan101 @daintysan @t-tbinnie @shyshybabyy @little-precious-baby @bebetiny @mirror-juliet @btrombley13 @yukine-smx @wavetease

[besanii]

okay so no pressure at all to write this but consider: wwx leaving his cave bc lwj got slightly hurt or smth (not on purpose!) but rly lwj is just taking this opportunity to bully wwx into seeing and taking care of him? sorry haha but your double happiness fics made me continue to watch pillowbook so im dying bc fluff and sass 😂

Extra 13: 桃花蜜 (Peach blossom honey) | previous parts here

Wei Wuxian shuffles guiltily into the room, wringing his hands in front of him and chewing on his bottom lip. He hovers in the archway separating the private quarters from the main chamber, watching as Lan Wangji sits up in bed with a wince, one hand pressed over his right shoulder.

“I’m sorry!” he blurts out. Lan Wangji looks at him with a raised eyebrow and doesn’t respond, which makes him panic even more. “I didn’t mean to stab you for real. I only meant to—”

Still, Lan Wangji doesn’t speak. Guilt gnaws away at his gut, twisting and churning at his insides, and he sidles closer to the bed with his most apologetic expression.

“Lan Zhan…” he says, reaching out to pinch the edge of Lan Wangji’s sleeve between his fingers and giving it a quick tug. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

He pouts for good measure. He really hadn’t meant to stab Lan Wangji with the knife. They had been sparring, and Lan Wangji had knocked Suibian from his hand, so Wei Wuxian had whipped out his knife as a substitute. There was no way he could have predicted that Lan Wangji would lose his footing and not be able to block his attack! He’d dropped the knife as soon as he realised what had happened, but it had already been too late.

But Lan Wangji still doesn’t acknowledge him, and Wei Wuxian is at a loss about what to do. He tugs a little harder at his sleeve.

“Lan Zhan,” he whines. “Tell me what I can do to fix it?”

Lan Wangji glances over at the bowl of medicine sitting on the table.

“The medicine,” he says.

Wei Wuxian leaps to obey, eager to do something as long as it means Lan Wangji doesn’t blame him for what happened. He perches on the edge of the bed and holds the bowl out to him. Lan Wangji looks down at it, then back up at Wei Wuxian.

“My shoulder is injured,” he says. 

Wei Wuxian gapes.

“You want me to—” He looks down at the bowl, cheeks flushing indignantly. “I’m not your maid!”

Lan Wangji grunts, pressing his hand more firmly against his shoulder where he had been stabbed, and fixes Wei Wuxian with a pointed look as if to say 'this is your fault, take responsibility'. Which, okay, yes, he has a point. Wei Wuxian sighs and picks up the spoon reluctantly.

“You should consider yourself lucky,” he grumbles. “No one else has ever had the good fortune to be fed medicine by me personally.”

“You stabbed me,” Lan Wangji reminds him, leaning forward and sipping from the spoon in Wei Wuxian’s hand. He pulls back as soon as his lips touch the spoon. “It’s too hot.”

“You—!” Wei Wuxian splutters. “You’re a dragon! You control water!”

Lan Wangji coughs delicately and touches his shoulder again. Wei Wuxian grinds his teeth, takes a deep breath to calm himself down, and glares. And the bastard—the bastard has the audacity to sit there looking expectantly at him, waiting for him to cool down his medicine to an acceptable drinking temperature! He’s the Crown Prince of Qing Qiu, not some common nursemaid for Lan Wangji to boss around! 

The fingers holding the spoon shake as he brings to closer to his own mouth and blows gently over the medicine to cool it. He briefly entertains the idea of heating the medicine instead of cooling it—it would only take a tiny spark of power—but decides against it. Who knows what Lan Wangji would make him do in retaliation. It wouldn’t be worth it.

He holds out the spoon to Lan Wangji, who drinks the medicine with a pleased little crinkle at the corner of his eyes. 

“Mm, much better,” he says. He waits patiently for Wei Wuxian to bring the next spoonful to his mouth and drinks that too. Then he frowns. “It’s very bitter though.”

“Good medicine always is,” Wei Wuxian tells him shortly. 

Lan Wangji turns away from the next spoonful with a put-upon expression and a tiny downturn of his lips.

“Some peach blossom honey would help,” he says, almost wistfully. And then he looks at Wei Wuxian out of the corner of his eye.

How did he—? 

“No, it won’t,” Wei Wuxian bites out through his clenched jaws. “Don’t be a baby.”

Lan Wangji sighs and sits back against the bedframe, his hand still clutching his injured shoulder.

“You can take the medicine away,” he says.

“You—!” Wei Wuxian exclaims in dismay. “How old are you, Lan Wangji? Wanting sweets with your medicine!”

But Lan Wangji stubbornly refuses the next spoonful that’s brought to his mouth. Wei Wuxian groans.

“What do you want from me?” he complains. “What will it take to get you to finish this medicine?”

He knows he’s made a mistake when he sees the glint in Lan Wangji’s eyes. He resigns himself to surrendering his personal stash of peach blossom honey, the one Xiao Xingchen had specially developed for him as a kit to take with his own medicine. How Lan Wangji even knew that he carries a vial with him at all times is beyond him—

“Feed it to me,” Lan Wangji tells him.

“I am!” 

Lan Wangji shakes his head. 

“Not with the spoon,” he says. His eyes fall to Wei Wuxian’s lips.

“W-What?” Wei Wuxian cries, flushing to the roots of his hair, his heart racing at the thought despite his indignation. “No way! That’s—”

Shameless. Indecent. How could Lan Wangji suggest such a thing when they weren’t—!

“We’re engaged,” Lan Wangji reminds him. “It would not be inappropriate.”

"Fake engaged,” Wei Wuxian retorts. He fishes in his sleeve for the vial of peach blossom honey. “Here. Take it. You can have the whole thing with your stupid medicine. I hope you get cavities.”

He shoves it at Lan Wangji’s chest, only for his hand to be batted away.

“I don’t want it anymore,” Lan Wangji says. “I want you to feed me.”

“Lan Wangji! Don’t push your luck,” Wei Wuxian warns. He sets the bowl down on the bedside table with a clang and gets to his feet in a huff. “You have another hand, use it!”

A hand shoots out to grab his wrist as he turns to leave, and he’s yanked back down onto the bed with more force than any injured person should rightfully have, immortal or no. He finds himself on his back, splayed over Lan Wangji’s legs, looking up into his amber eyes, now darkened to the colour of rich honey. His heart is doing an impressive acrobatic routine in his chest and you could probably fry an egg on his face with the heat that rushes to it when he takes in their current position. A hand on his chest prevents him from getting up again.

“Wei Ying.” He shivers at the way Lan Wangji almost purrs his name. “Where are you going?”

“N-Nowhere,” he squeaks. Lan Wangji hums, pleased.

“Good boy.” The hand on his chest lightens enough so he can sit up, moving down to rest on his thigh instead. Wei Wuxian gulps. “The medicine, please.”

Wei Wuxian wishes he’d stabbed him a couple more times when he’d had the chance. Why stop at one, when he could riddle this lecherous bastard with holes? It would be infinitely more satisfying.

He picks up the bowl of medicine and looks at its murky brown contents with revulsion. He can’t believe he’s about to do this for Lan Wangji when he can barely stomach drinking medicine for himself. But when he goes to drink it, Lan Wangji grabs his hand and brings the bowl to his own mouth, downing the contents in one smooth swallow. Wei Wuxian stares at him, dumbstruck.

What the fuck?

The bowl is taken from him and something else is pressed into his hands while he’s still frozen. He looks down to see the vial of peach blossom honey and then back up into Lan Wangji’s expectant gaze, still feeling a little off-kilter. There isn’t a spare spoon. How does he—?

He removes the stopper from the vial and dips a finger inside, scooping out a dollop of rich, golden syrup. He stares at it, lost. What now?

Lan Wangji takes matters into his own hands and takes Wei Wuxian’s finger into his mouth. Heat flares through Wei Wuxian at the sensation of Lan Wangji’s tongue against his skin, running up the length of his arm and straight down into his belly. He gasps, high and breathy in the back of his throat, and whimpers when Lan Wangji chuckles, the vibrations tingling along every nerve in his finger. Then the heat is gone and air is cold against the residual wetness on his finger.

Lan Wangji hums.

“It’s delicious,” he says, pleased as punch. “Thank you, Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian jumps to his feet with a gasp and runs out of the room, his hands pressed against his burning cheeks. Lan Wangji lets him leave without protest, stoppering the vial of peach blossom honey and turning it over in his hand with a satisfied smile.

// buy me a ko-fi //

[f33itan]

💛⚜️Pᴀʀᴛ 1: Tᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ɪs Gᴏʟᴅᴇɴ⚜️💛 (From my Wattpad)

A/N: Ok, this was something a mutual of mine said here on Tumblr, and I decided to write a oneshot about it. Might be very VERY slight angst, nothing bad enough to actually be put under that umbrella though, anyways, enjoy this, and ty for the reads! :)

CW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, DEGRADATION, AND MORE FOUL WORDS THAN USUAL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

B/N: Your Mother's boyfriend's name

M/N: Mother's name

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

"Oi, Y/N! Go get me another pack of beer from the store!"

"Yes father!" Damn that pig looking bitch. I'm just some fucking girl, trying to protect her mom from this demon of a person! Heck, he's not EVEN a person! He's the devil himself!! Man, I wish dad was here...

When you were in about 7th grade, your real father got killed in a massacre a couple cities over. He was not only a police officer, but a great father and husband as well. He treated you and your mother amazingly, and you thought life couldn't get anymore perfect, but soon that all went down hill. After his death, your mother's health depleted and she felt empty inside. She needed somebody else to make her complete. She decided to call an old friend from high school, and next thing you know he moved in. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but soon enough he was beating you guys mercilessly, enough to leave large bruises and scars whenever you didn't do exactly what he asked, in your eyes though, it was more of an order. You hated being ordered around, but you hated your mother getting beaten around even more. It seemed like a blessing that he hasn't tried to rape her, but god knows what he'll do, he's unpredictable

With all of this happening, you decided to tell him you were doing some "extra curricular" classes in college, but what you were actually doing was taking the Hunter's Exam and learning nen. Your biological father was kind-hearted and fun to be around, but he was also strict and sometimes a bit harsh, though he always meant well. Before his passing, all three of you would go out on the weekends to train, exercise, or do something that would enhance your body power and brain power. Because of this, all of you were exceptionally smart, and bodies all well toned. Sometimes your excursions would be going to a park and practicing a sport, driving to the snow and sledding, skiing, snowboarding, and every once in a while going to another state to zip line, try animal encounters, or take a family friendly class in that state's heritage and customs.

Since you were accustomed to hard core training and events, you thought the Hunter's Exam was quite fun, and was a test to your skills. After that, you were scouted out by a strong nen user by the name of Biscuit Krueger. You and her had lots of fun training, and with her pushing your limits to the utmost best, you turned out to be a specialist.

(Whenever I imagine myself in Hunter x Hunter, this is always my nen type and stuff LMAO)

Your power was called, Black shadow. You could have up to 10 weapons on hand, completely subjected to doing your bidding. These weapons were linked to you through blood, and they were surrounded with a substance that appeared to be black mist. The weapons you most preferred to practice with and use were your katana, blood string, and scythe. You could also make a weapon yours by cutting a fingertip and letting the blood drip onto the weapon, altering the appearance then gaining that black "mist", showing that it was now yours. The downside to this technique was that those "shadows and mist remnants" were your sleep. The darkness in your mind and the shadows all around you were taken and used for that power. In turn, you were always tired, yawning, and had bags under your eyes. Another plus side though was that you had a nen created chamber that had every weapon you owned. A girl can have some fun toys, can't she? You had tools for torture (whenever you took an opportunity to try it), many varieties of weapons, and of course, more snacks. But unlike B/N, you didn't have just fatty snacks. You had regeneration potions, healthy snacks, and special nen created "snacks" to help with different things, which all of these you had collected through pulling some strings. Your mother was worried, but you said it was all just college things. Yeah, just college things..

Ill make that pig bitch pay for what he has done to my mother!

Feitan POV -or whats going on with him- :

"What time, is it.."

"8 AM Fei!"

"Shut up, green eyes, too loud."

"Oh Fei don't be rude! It's mean!"

"That's, the point."

"Oh wait, Shalnark, what this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This... gold string?"

"OI SHALNARK, FEITAN, COME ERE' REAL QUICK!"

"Phinks, what, do you, want-" Phinks just ignored his question and pointed to the TV.

This is Channel 12, reporting live from York New City Town Square. People all over the city are claiming to be seeing a string tied to their left ring finger, leading them to some unknown destination! What is this string? Who put it there?-

"AY AY IM ON TV! THE STRING THINGY JUST LEAD ME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND NOW WERE DATING! SUPER AWESOME!"-

I apologize for the interference, but this string appears t be leading people to.. partners? Soulmates? Find out tomorrow morning, this is Amy Starwick from Channel 12, signing out.

"What. The. FUCK."

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS HOLY SHIT FEITAN YOU HAVE A SOULMATE!!"

"Nope-"

"YESS YOU DOOOOOOO"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CHEERY BITCH-"

"No❤️" Since Feitan was on his last nerve with Shalnark, he decided to stomp over towards Chrollo in the main room, but Chrollo just chuckled.

"Wanna go find your soulmate? See if that things real?" Feitan just stared at the ground, lightly shifting his feet.

"Go ahead, I don't mind."

"Just, doing it, out of, curiosity."

"Mhm, curiosity, go find them." And with that, he was dismissed. Feitan wanted to say it was curiosity, but deep down he had this feeling there was something else, but what was it? It made his stomach tingle and he didn't like it one bit. He tried to ignore all of this, and just shrugged it off...

꧁꧂꧁꧂TimeSkip to Next Day꧁꧂꧁꧂

Your POV + some Feitan POV:

"Alright, today's the day, he'll be at his work, and on his break, i'll set the plan in motion.." Both me and mom don't like him, and I don't know about her, but I sure hate him, every ounce of him. The plan is simple: 1. Capture mom's boyfriend, 2. Take him to an abandoned building, 3. Torture him and get all of the answers I need, and 4. Kill him. His break is at 12, and he usually goes to get takeout every other Friday, what a pig. I'll give him a taste of his own medicine.

Time: 11:30 AM

Ok, I have everything ready. Fully energized to the utmost extent, Elixirs to bring him back in case he passes out too early, and- what? He's leaving for lunch early? PERFECT! You ran behind some buildings and hid in a two-way alleyway, waiting for him to pass by...

Here we go..

One..

Two..

THREE!

You covered his head with a sack, and took his phone out of his back pocket. Before heading over to your post, you laced the inside of the sack with some sleeping powder and pressed it against his nose and mouth. Within moments he passed out, and you typed in what you hoped to be his password, which was correct. Around 12:30, you were going to text one of his coworkers that he would be "going to a restaurant across town, and ditching work for a day, not wanting to see his stupid good for nothing girlfriend or his dumb daughter." You knew he called you both this because of going through his text messages when he wasn't looking or when he was sleeping. Little did you know that somebody was watching you from afar.

"Hmm... So, she, my, what do people, call it.. soulmate? Seems, interesting..."

Time: 12:00 PM

"Jesus, I new he was a fat ass but I didn't know he weighed this much!" You were tugging him from his legs through the back ways of York New. You wanted to find a secluded area, where once you were done with him you could just toss him somewhere for the birds and maggots to eat. After walking for what seemed like hours, you came across a set of abandoned buildings, specifically the one you laid out some extra things. A couple extra weapons, some towels, a change of clothes, a chair and some rope, a couple of flashlights, and of course, some snacks. Lucky for you, the douchebag you've been dragging around like a rag doll was still out cold, so you picked him up and tossed him on the chair, tying his wrists, ankles and neck to the chair.

"Maaannn, this is boring!! When the hell are you gonna wake up?!" As if on queue, you saw his eyes start to flutter open, and you immediately grabbed your box cutter. It wasn't a weapon used by your nen, but it was quite effective.

"What.. who.. wait- Y/N!? WHAT THE FUCK?! UNTIE ME NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS!!" you didn't notice it, but Feitan was watching from the building over.

What, the fuck? Why she kidnap him? That pig? Why? Confusing, gotta keep, watching.

You shoved the box cutter into his left cheek, and you bathed in the glory of hearing his screams of pain.

"How does this feel, you bitch? Everything you've done to my dear mother, everything you've done to me, and heck, YOU WERE PROBABLY BEHIND MY DAD'S MURDER DURING THAT FUCKING MASSACRE!!" B/N noticed the tears in your eyes, and took this to his advantage.

"So what if I was? Both of your parents were pathetic anyways."

"NO THEY AREN'T! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY MOTHER'S LIKE THIS NOW! YOUR THE FUCKING REASON FOR EVERYTHING SHITTY THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!"

"Heh, hehe.. hahaHAHAHA! YOU KNOW GOD DAMNED WELL THAT ALL OF YOU ARE PATHETIC! WANNA KNOW WHY I GOT WITH YOUR MOM!? BECAUSE SHES HOT. AND SHE HAD GOOD MONEY FROM YOUR FUCKING DAD. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO?! YOU KNOW WHY I TOOK OFF EARLY TODAY?! I WAS GONNA RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND MAKE YOU WATCH, THEN KILL BOTH OF YOU AND RUN OFF WITH ALL OF YOUR MONEY!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC?! I DON'T HAVE ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. REGRET. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAD, YOU SOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE NERVE TO DO THIS, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED!!"

You couldn't handle this anymore, tears were falling down your face rapidly as you grabbed the duct tape and closed his mouth shut.

"I don't give a fuck about what you say.. I'm going to kill you here. This is your grave. Someday, I'll join you in hell, and when I do, I'll torture you again, and the Devil will laugh. You just watch and ducking wait you, you.. PATHETIC WORTHLESS PIG ASS SLOPPY ASS NASTU FUCKING BITCH!" With that, you grabbed a couple super worms in each hand and shoved them into his ears. Even with the duct tape, you could hear his screams of agony as the worms dug deeper into his ears. You then got our your katana and slashed him across the stomach, and shoved even more worms into that open wound of his. Quickly, you poured a large bottle of the elixir you had brought over him to keep him from dying so quickly. Box cutter still in hand, you carved small lines all over his arms and legs, then ripped off the tape to hear his desperate cries. You imagined he wanted to be dead, but you didn't care. His pain and you pain mixed together and you just started laughing. You through your head back and let yourself laugh. all of the pain this man has caused you and your mom will be repayed today.

But the pressure and stress was too much to handle. Your laughing of victory soon turned into screams and more tears, as you let yourself fall to the ground, not even noticing you didn't hit it hard, something had caught you, or someone..

What the shit am I doing?

Am I really going to kill him?

What's wrong with me?

What will mother think?

What would dad do?

What am I doing with my life?

You soon snapped out of all of those negative thoughts though, as you noticed something caressing your face lightly.

"Rest, now. He, won't die, so quickly. I'm, Feitan." You were a sniffling and crying mess, so all you could do was rush into Feitan's chest and cry. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had no idea what he was doing, for he had only seen this kind of skin on skin contact in movies. So, he did what those people in the movies did.

"Don't, worry... It's all, going to be.. okay."

Word Count (Including author notes, etc) : 2251

-Wrote February 3, 2021-

Unedited sorry about that lol-

Part 1...

[descendantofthesparrow]

Multipart Commission work - Harry Hook x Reader - part 8 - Cotillion night

@musicarose​

=

You had been dragged into the chip shop to watch the cotillion with the crew, seated between Harry and Gil. the red carpet moment was playing, the press asking a billion questions. Jane appeared on screen, dressed in a chiffon periwinkle blue dress with a pink bow on her hip, her loosely curled dark hair cascading around her shoulders.

“Jane where Is miss (y/n)?!”

“We haven’t seen her tonight do you know where she is!?!”

Somehow Jane lied smoothly, though you could tell she was nervous.

“she came down with a cold and decided to stay back in the dorms for tonight, sorry!”

You winced in sympathy for Jane, not knowing if mal and ben had lied to her or not, but she continued onto the ship, Lonnie appearing just after her.

As the night went on, Mal finally appeared, Ben soon after. You could feel how tense they were through the tv screen. But soon Ben revealed the stain-glass window for Mal.

She gasped in awe, and moments later she and Ben shared their first kiss believe it or not.

The crew around you yelled and taunted at the tv Mal and Ben.

“ugg” you saw a random patty be thrown at the screen “prissy traitor” you heard harry mutter from beside you, you took the chance to glance at him. He sipped on his flat soda, glaring at the screen.

So in their eyes, Mal was a traitor….with what you’ve seen of the isle and how she hadn’t tried to get anymore vks off (which you admit wasn’t her job but Bens. but with her being a vk and knowing the struggle of her fellow vks you’d think she'd try to get the program moving) their viewing of her made sense.

You hadn’t noticed you were zoning out, staring at Harry's face. He looked at you with the corner of his eye, his brow raising as he saw you staring at him. “yeh good lass?” you blinked and shook your head, looking at him confused for a moment.

“um-yeah sorry, zoned out” harry hummed and popped a fry in his mouth.

“did you have a dress all ready to go (y/n)?” Gil asked, slurping up some eggs.

“Yeah, unfortunately, I won't get to wear it” you murmured, starting to eat the tray that Uma had tossed in front of you. The fries and the fish sticks weren't that bad honestly, which is probably why Ursulas chip shop was pretty popular.

“surprised your not gagging princess” Bonnie taunted, stealing one of your fish sticks. You shrugged, popping another fry in your mouth.

“im not picky, I used to eat dirt when I was a kid so” Bonnie eyebrows shot up.

“you ate dirt?” she laughed, looking kind’ve impressed.

“well, ya know! You’re a kid, your curious, it looks like crushed up oreos so…you just kinda…ate it? And then your mom would sprint over and make you spit it out” harry snorted on his drink, the soda going down the wrong way.

He let out a wheezing cough, you winched and watched as the tall teen with the braids punched his back “sh*t lass, don’t just say stuff like tha’” he chuckled, hitting his chest a couple of times.

“But I really didn’t say anything funny?” you were kinda confused. What was funny about that?

“it was just the way yeh said lass” he snorted, patting your head and going back to his food.

“UMA!” you jumped in fright, gasping as you saw Uma step out from the kitchen, her entire body was tense. Harry picked up his hook and looked toward the back room, halfway out of his chair. “COME HERE YOU TWERP” Uma let out a shuddered sigh and walked into the back room with her head held high.

“the hell” you muttered, yelping as Harry grabbed you and started to rush out of the shop “what's goin-“

“yeh don’t wanna know lass, EVERYONE OUT!” the pirates around scattered, the crew following behind Harry's lead, knowing uma wouldn’t want them around.

You gasped as you heard a crash from the inside, and an older woman screaming. You wanted to rush back in but Harry completely grabbed you and lead you away and onto the ship.

=

Later, Uma appeared in front of you in the brig, she had a growing black eye, a limp and a couple of bruises scattered around her body, you leaped up and dug into our bag, reaching through the bars to her.

she looked down at your hands confused, her eyes widening as she spotted the medical supplies.

“what are you-”

“take them” you urged, pressing yourself against the bars to inch closer to her “please” she glared at you.

“I don’t want your help” you huffed, glaring back, surprising Uma.

“but you need it!” you yelled, “you’ve been hurt by someone whos supposed to protect you, this is something that shouldn’t happen and I want to help you….please” Uma stared at you for a moment before reaching out and unlocking your cell.

You took the chance and ran out, stopping in front of Uma and cupping her face gently, she flinched slightly and leaned back, her breathing stopping as you gently turned her face to get a closer look.

“tch,” you grabbed your bag and grabbed some Neosporin, uncapping it and squirting some on your finger, reaching up to Umas face and spreading it on a large sucker looking bruise.

You and Uma sat in silence as you treated her wounds, grabbing some bandages you wrapped her heavily bruised thigh that was beginning to bleed.

“…Mal lied to me about you” you muttered, Uma snorted and rolled her eyes, leaning back on her palms.

“of course she did….what did she say exactly”

“that you were after the wand for wold domination, that you were your mother's puppet, that you didn’t care about anyone but your self. But with everything I've seen, everything you’ve done, Mal was lying” Uma looked down at you as you stared down at the ground.

“you want the wand to free all the kids who've done nothing wrong except be born to people who have done wrong, as soon as I learned that the people here had kids I knew that you guys did not deserve to be here, hell, Im the one who convinced Ben to finally use it as his first proclamation!” Uma just stared at you as you ranted, before humming.

“what will you do then?” you looked up at her in confusion “what will you do to help”

You went silent, continuing to stare into Umas golden flecked eyes.

“….ill write your demands” Uma didn’t expect that her jaw-dropping open slightly “you don’t know exactly what you need, you only know the basics, you may ask for food, medicine and clothes, but with the jerks on the council they would go behind Ben's back and send expired medication, just past the expiration date food, and fabric that could hardly be worn for this type of weather on the isle.

I know names, brand names, I can make sure you get the good things, actual clothes, if needed good fabric, and real medicine and supplies, let me help you”

Uma smiled, a real one, she stood, holding out her hand for you to take “it’s a deal princess, and in return, you'll be under our protection, and part of the crew”

You grinned and took her hand, standing with her, and nodded.

“I won't let you down Uma, I will make the isle a little more bearable until Ben gets things moving, I promise”

--end of part 8--

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[soulwillower]

concerned • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)      

requested: Hello, lovie, could I request something for Richie please? I’m going through a bit of an asthma attack right now and maybe you could write something about that? If you need to know about asthma, I’d be more than happy to help out. Like maybe the reader is sick and her asthma is acting up and Richie gets all panicked when she has a coughing fit? Thanks so much, your writing is wonderful by the way! 💕

warnings: swearing, lil asthma attack, fluff, this is kinda short im sorry! unedited!!!

[losers + reader are aged up to high school in this.]

1k-ish words

♡

the sun was setting, painting the entire town around you in a golden orange bath that made you smile as the wind blew gently against your hair. it wasn't too cold yet, and you and richie were riding your bikes to meet the other's at the movie theater. 

you sniffle, coughing a bit into your elbow as you pedal behind him, smiling as his curls rustle in the breeze.

you'd been sick for about a week and you were mostly over it, now just left with a residing cough that made your asthma flare up. it wasn't terrible, it's been much worse before, but as you pedal down the street your cough suddenly halts your breath. 

in shock, you try to suck air in through your mouth, coming up short as the familiar dry pressure in your chest spouts up your throat.  you stop your breaks, wheezing while trying to catch your breath, knowing you're about to have an asthma attack.

you climb off your bike as you wheeze, feeling like your throat is closing up and struggling to suck in any air. "rich!" you try to grab his attention with a gasp. it somehow works, because your boyfriend turns his head in question as you call him, eyes widening in shock as he sees you heaving on the side of the road. 

he makes his way towards you then lets his bike fall right down in the middle of the road as he rushes over.

"holy shit, y/n are you okay?" he hisses, falling to his knees in front of you. the velocity at which his skinny figure falls to the ground in front of your keeled over body almost makes you laugh, but the pressure in your chest just makes you wheeze. you nod your head, gesturing awkwardly to your chest. 

"oh, that-that was dumb of me to say, fuck, sugar what do i do?" he rambles, wiping sweaty hands on his pants as he peers up at your doubled-over figure. he’s muttering to himself and it’s sweet. 

your hands fumble into the bag in the back of your bike and you reach around, feeling for your inhaler. you give richie a quick smile, your mind still taking the time to acknowledge how beautiful he looks in the golden fading light, eyes lit with the light behind his wire frames. he's definitely panicking as he searches through your backpack pockets, looking nervous but trying to cover it up.

his eyes are wide, hands shaking slightly as he unzips and searches through your bag. "here, y/n/n." he says, out of breath and you cough, struggling to take in a breath as richie pulls out the inhaler and shakes it, uncapping and handing it to you.

richie's watching you with wide eyes then as you puff it out, the dry taste of the medicinal spray reaching your lungs. you try to hold your breath the best you can and richie's rubbing your back, kissing your shoulder gently as you take another puff. 

you feel slightly lightheaded, but you slowly start to cough less as the pressure eases in your chest.

richie guides you down to sit on the pavement, pulling you between his legs as he runs his hands over your shoulders and through your hair. a car swerves in the road a minute later as it avoided richie's abandoned bike and glides past you guys. 

it’s quiet for a few minutes as richie soothes you, kissing your neck and nuzzling you as you calm your breathing. your hands are entwined, resting on your knees. 

after a little while longer, richie clears his throat. "damn, y/n, are you alright? i kind of panicked a little bit back there." he mutters with a laugh into your hair and you smile, breathing becoming more even and easy as you crane your neck to look back at him.

"i noticed, bub. i'm okay, though. sorry to scare you." you say with a teasing but grateful smile, pressing your lips to his. 

the kiss is sweet, loving, and warm in the light of the late afternoon as he kisses back, arms wrapped around your shoulders and his tongue light but strong against yours. he pulls back sooner than usual, still nervous and tentative of your breathing.

it makes you smile. 

he grins an easygoing smile. "don't apologize, sugar. i just hope you're feeling better. do you want to ride me double so you don't have to pedal yourself?" he asks sweetly, pressing a kiss to your temple. you shake your head, "no, it's okay rich, i just had a little cough." you say, smiling as he rises and pulls you with him to your feet. 

he shakes his head, "nonsense. allow me, miss?" he asks with a rough british accent, smiling as you giggle.

you shake your head, watching fondly as richie locks your bike up to the stop sign at the corner of the street and pulls off your bag. you take it from him, kissing his cheek gently as you get on the bike behind him.

your arms wrap around his middle and you rest your cheek against the fabric of his shirt, struggling slightly to suck in a full breath. he looks back at you as he goes down main street, concerned and loving. 

it makes you smile and kiss his back sweetly. you're feeling a lot better as richie flies the two of you across the golden town, his own voice exclaiming dumb things that make you laugh as his words get carried away in the sweet afternoon wind.