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ruumirmir · 7 months ago

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Object permanence is a real pain in the ass bc TRUE I too forget stuff unless it's literally in front of my face . also i need to start putting dividers amidst every other paragraph changing the topic of conversation 💀

omg bonus House of Wolves AU:

what do you think Loverboy's role would be in this AU? from what my little brain could understand from the animatic,, pantalone went to some kinda mora treasury vault? Alone? Arlecchino either followed him to ambush him,, or bc shes after a part of that wealth too.

omg what if Loverboy was dispatched to be on the other side, laying waste to the House of Hearth 👁👁 Gasp what if Arle stationed the magician siblings lyney lynette and freminny to protect the house. Gasp . idk im reaching at straws but this AU is anyways saur fascinating. 😭😭‼

AHAGAGHASJEJSS so far I'm noticing a pattern that dottore has found himself the number 1 targetted opp from roughly every harbinger ever 😭 in the same breath I think loverboy's prime target of harbinger murder would be Dottore as well. Saying this with the context of reader spending enough time in the Fatui to get to Know the other harbingers.

I mean theres only so much i can say about it with the minimal canon lore about unreleased harbingers + the mass delusion of headcanons ive seen everywhere. I might revise it again another time,, but as of now loverboy's opinion on the other harbingers should be something like:

Pierro - Big scary ancient fossilized man. Not a stick, he has the whole tree up his ass. 4/10

Capitano - Big scary eldritch horror. He's chill tho. Nods head in agreement when overhearing someone thirst over him. 6/10

Dottore - Explodes him with mind. Stay away from pantalone thats MY dysfunctional workplace situationship /jealousy. I hope your clones cannibalize you. 1/10

Columbina - So far so good. Let's keep it that way. Maintains approx distance of 20 meters whenever in vicinity. 3/10

Arlecchino - Threatning in the lowkey way. Not a fake bitch. Respectable single father of fifty kids. 7/10

Scaramouche - Something is so deeply wrong with this rat. I'd rather you were a fake smiley bitch than an upfront sadistic egomaniac. 2/10

Signora - There's worse women out there I'm sure. Having pretty priviledge is like god's saving grace if you were to interact with her. 4/10

Childe - He should be at the club. Relatively the sanest man to hold a conversation with. No i do not want to fight you- do you want me to inform Regrator that you're here to visit? He'd like to reach you about your car's extended warran- 9/10

Pantalone - His roman empire. ?/10

Sandrone - (As arlecchino mentioned that several fatuus have even yet to SEE her,, i think loverboy hasnt met Sandrone at all.)

Pulcinella - Pantalone was right actually. A mere 12 hours for the passing of a long-reigning Harbinger??? Even HE was weirded tf out. Hopefully the next coffin will be yours. 2/10

ok im actually laughing. "over time he's become a better guy :) <3" "-when it comes to hiding his emotions >:)"

plus one for character development ig 😭 his morals may be skewed but his pristine mask of porcelain sure ISNT.

MOVING ON- i fear you may be right it IS the sexy glasses with the metal chains. I like my men a little blind <3 Side note: if we're sticking with the delusion headcanon of Pantalone being a Gunsperson,, I think he's farsighted. You'll see him squinty eyed trying to count mora without his glasses, but he'll snipe a dude 20 blocks over.

Speaking of voices omg I had the most delicious thought ever: After reader leaves his Fatuu service, finally thinking hes free and that the worst and most hectic part of his life is OVER- (Spoiler: It isn't) What was that saying,, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?". Ok what if I took that and adjusted it to be a little more fucked up. Having killed a man, and being complicit in killing several others, One does not Simply Escape The Harrowing Change that comes with it. I think it REALLY starts to set in after he's removed from the environment where death is so normalized. What if over time, Loverboy noticed the voice inside his head was slowly starting to sound like Pantalone. What then.

"You're very good at what you do."

okay. what if the next time it was a whisper telling him to snap a man's wrist in two because he was clearly trying to scam loverboy in broad daylight.

Rightt although its not in your rules list,, I'm guessing you don't write any sexual nsfw- STILL WANTED TO CONFIRM beforehand if you're cool with rambling about anything sexually explicit. because WELL lets just say my collection of twitter bookmarks would kill a catholic nun. I'll thoroughly indulge your vulgar way of speaking girl 👍💗

Pathetic sobby men will never not ignite SEVERAL sinful thoughts. Pantalone a stronger man than me bc i'd be pivoting that workplace situationship twink towards the bedroom immediately. anyways-

OKAY ABOUT THE FATUI MANPOWER BEING SO VAST,, I was thinking about the overall genshin public's prejudices and reaction to the Fatui,, or just Snezhnayans in general.

"Most of Snezhnaya's foreign relations are handled by the Fatui, though their aggressive negotiation style and constant political and economic encroachment have given them a negative reputation."

I wouldn't say that it made life HORRIBLE for loverboy to have connections to the fatui. But i'd say theres little scope for a satisfactory life outside Snezhnaya when you'll always be thrown a look of distrust every other day. Better to stick with your village, isnt it? Plus:

There also seems to be a large emphasis on familial relations, as the Snezhnayans who have mentioned their family have been shown to be very close to them. Camaraderie, cooperation and straightforwardness generally appear to be valued in Snezhnaya.

From reader's dad point of view, I'd assume he was a patriotic man + working under the man who might take over the economy in the future,, the salary would be Nothing to Scoff at.

simping for your own OC/ Reader/ Character is a different form of embarassing indulgence because theres a person in my head that I MADE UP and theyre ruining my life /affectionate. You can't even doomscroll content of them cause you have to make it yourself. 😩😔 At the rate this is going,, I might start to self-insert with PANTALONE cause lord help me I need to kabedon Loverboy so bad.

OMG LOVERBOY PISSING OFF PANTALON E i didnt even think about that But now that you metnion it youre so Right ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ I wouldnt be surprised if for a split second he had a passing thought to put a bullet in reader's skull too, but one deep breath later he had to compose himself. (Almost killing the other count: WHat is this? atleast the 4th time now?)

LMAO BUT WORRY NOT GOOD SIR your loverboy is infact going to develop a spine of Steel with SO MUCH survivcal instinct that Years down the line he's going to get you in Hot Shit with the Knave on pressumed account of him BETRAYING YOU (Gasp Gasp). For the sole reason of wanting to survive No Matter The Cost . Would you look at that. We've come full circle now.

Im imagining pantalone,, Now regrator,, looking at loverboy after a good 3-4 ish years and not recognizing the man for about a minute,, before he makes that mental connection that Ah. Its the soggy mop boy from years ago.

and his eyes dilate like a cat and he goes ‼‼‼‼ And oh no!!! THats where the obsession starts to snowball Like "holy shit babyboy that post-character development clarity looks positively Enchanting on you. I need you in ways that are So concerning to business ethics"

Like finding the most perfect diamond after leaving behind the same coal to crystalize under pressure.

wow this loverboy business is no joke ive never been this insane over Just a Guy. and to think it all started bc i accidentally sent the same req to two different writers 🥺

Ok lets go SImply reblogging your oneshot for my req isn't enough i need to analyze and annotate the entire thing like a literature professor and tell you Everything. (✿◡‿◡)

pantalone might be ooc

He's not!!!!!! by which i think this is fairly a Really Good portrayal of the guy considering the 5 sentences we know about him. He's strict!!! frankly a little scary!! And also chill and positive about loverboy!! But it felt Just Right!!!! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

descriptions of blood

description so good i might as well have killed that man myself

...pretend that his lore has a spot where this fits perfectly

I think i can make it fit!! would you be cool with making minor changes if so?

"You're very good at what you do."

Imagining the same voice as sebastian michaelis saying this with the sexiest buttersmooth voice is eviscerating me. Very self-indulgent but praise kinks will always slay so hard.

...on the verge of stabbing him a moment ago.

This,, and the small thing i wrote about loverboy launching them both out the window to escape an onslaught of assassins in my other req. get you a ship where one of them has completely normal knee-jerk reactions to kill the other <3

...as he crushes their hand beneath his shoe without mercy

Fatui Harbingers - House of Wolves - KIERU 0:15

...Instead, Pantalone looks unfazed by it all, stopping as he reaches the other side of you, free of most of the blood. He greets you with a knowing smile as he usually does.

hey ririto this is so ominous and eerie for some reason not known to me. Just the backdrop of grey and snow and probably a gruesome corpse right next to loverboy and Pantalone has a silent smile through everything. Delicious sentence 10/10.

"I knew making you a banker was a good idea,"

THIS IS SO. The confidence and quite calm assurance that pantalone says this with is SO. You'd never be sure whether to lean into it and let out a sigh of relief,, o r back up further becuase it sounds so good but all in the wrong ways.

...thumb brushing across your bottom lip slicked with blood.

fellas is it professional to feed double edged words of honey to your young inexperienced subordinate while kneeling in front of his battered and bruised self who killed someone for you,, and run a gloved thumb across his blood soaked lip. ( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )

"Who knew you had so many other talents,"

you are infusing these dialouges with crack cocaine giggling kicking my feet while being slightly concerned because Sir. What do you mean by that.

"Ah ah," he says, a harshness seeping into even just that sound. "Stay." You stay put,

thank you for making loverboy so Ouppy.

"Lord Harbinger," you try to say

yes,, this could be a minor thing to adjust: i think we could actually fit this oneshot somewhere AFTER he gets his vision,, and BEFORE Pantalone becomes the Harbinger Regrator. Can be a valid reason for Pantalone to see that reader failed to kill the assassin from their shitty negotiation meeting,, and wanting to newly test him again after he had his vision + ambitions awakened to see if he can get past the fear of killing NOW. (Even then,, maybe due to inexperience/unfamiliarity of using visions, reader didn't think to raise his advantage of supernatural powers against another visionless man in this scenario.)

I'd think his first kill was one of the factors that caused him to leave after his 3year duty, not sticking around for Pantalone's promotion to Regrator.

"You are much like your father."

Top 10 things Not to say to someone with daddy issues-

...they're as wet behind the ears as you are.

Dear diary, Today i learned a new speech of expression

...Pantalone's hand that rests on your chin moves... "Now, try again. Dear banker, whatever do you mean?"

this whole paragraph. What on earth do you mean 'ooc pantalone'. This is the MOST pantalone thing you could've written. Strict and intimidating about improving reader's meek attitude. a Push in the right direction.

"Is this a test?" you manage, words muffled by the way he squishes your face like putty beneath his fingers.

(thank you for making loverboy so Ouppy) x2

...and you know who, regardless of how 'anonymous' that source may have been in his words.

I MAY BE STUPID. （；´д｀）ゞ I CANT TELL. who you are hinting towards 😭😭

"Hold this," he adds, an unnervingly tender instruction for the way he was just behaving.

There he is. its reminding me of: the same pantalone that washed reader with a clock in my very first req to you.

...looking probably about as pathetic as you think you do.

POV: You're Pantalone looking down at Loverboy.

I forgot how much of a bug-eyed wet dog loverboy is before his time-skip "character development" so to say. Thanks i love him.

"next time someone approaches you from behind, don't wait to stab them. Don't reach for your wet knife with your wet hands, either. Both of those things will get you killed."

I think pantalone is entirely having too much fun with observing Loverboy try climbing the ropes to how REAL fatuus run business.

"Come now. You want to go home and back to Liyue, don't you? I'm tired of this cold."

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ back to liyue??? Loverboy is Liyuean??? pantalone stays in liyue??? I ALWAYS THOUGHT arlecchino called pantalone a bitch in Signora's funeral for "never leaving the comfort of his homeland?" Whuh-?

ALL IN ALL,, CLOSING THOGUHTS,, GOOD FOOD RIRITO DINNER HAS BEEN SERVED, ATE, AND LICKED CLEAN 10/10 ILY

I GOTT THIS JUST BEFORE I WENT TO SLEEP AND ONLY JUST GOT THE TIME TO ANSWER IT BUT I KNEWWW YOU WOULD GET THE HOUSE OF WOLVES REFERENCE

That is true actually and I realised after I posted it that like, wtf is in character for him?? 😭 he's said like two things and while I have memorised those things they're not a lot to go off but I'm glad you enjoy him (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪

Also if you can make it fit, feel free ☆(≧∀≦*)ﾉ I sorta only had a vague idea of where it might go, but at that point in time, loverboy works abroad in the Northland Bank. I'll also throw in that he travelled there for that job and unfortunately does not come from Liyue 😔 (unless he's supposed to?? I got the impression he was from Snezhnaya) it was more a "I bet you'd love to be back at a desk job rn" or something to that effect, loverboy is going back to the bank once things are settled where he belongs but Pantalone isn't going with him (hence why they're in Snezhnaya when this happenscause I also interpret at as him not liking to leave Liyue)

I'm so glad the J Michael Tatum love never stops but also you're so right praise kinks absolutely do. I also noticed that them trying to kill each other is like, a repeated theme so far 😭⁉️ LIKE WHEN PANTALONE WENT TO FIND HIM LAST ONESHOT HE WAS GONNA KILL THAT FUCKER

Confident possibly mildly degrading Pantalone is literally my favourite thing, like I chew on him. I chew on him being unnervingly calm because what would he have in the eyes of a wet mop boy besides an unwavering poker face. Get yourself a man who uses the blood of your enemies like your lipstick and knows he made good choices stationing you at his shady probably money laundering black hole of debt he calls a bank

Yk I agree actually I was trying to figure the timeline out in my head and realised it would've made more sense to happen before he was a Harbinger so I agree with this revision that actually makes it fit the lore and if I ever decide to make it a longer multichapter fic I'll definitely fix that 💀 t'was a victim of laziness

YES YES THIS Pantalone basically shaping him up so he doesn't literally die and being strict with it get so him. He'll prompt him to say it again but won't let it slide because that behaviour isn't going to be beneficial, especially not with someone who may be working under him long-term

I went back to read the part about the anonymous source line came from, and I think I figured out what happened here, so allow me to explain (;ﾟдﾟ) Ok so, it has a bit to do with the weird way I wrote this because when I said I wrote this on the train that was half a lie. I wrote some of it on the train and the rest at the library where I also edited what I already had because the spelling mistakes were atrocious. I did write down who it was but cut it when I decided it cluttered the story a bit which retrospectively was also a mistake because I didn't think about the fact it would seem like I was hinting at something at the time (ﾟ▽ﾟ*) the shorter, boring answer is that there's no one Ririto did a big silly and cut context in the chaotic editing this suffered

LMAO NOT THE CLOCK AGAIN

I love him the wet mop boy. I was like I want him to be at least a lil pathetic rn because his concerns are completely different. He's thinking about how to not die, and how much he misses his mom and his much fatui dick his dad must've been riding before death to think this career path was worth it (slash JOKING but he is still wondering why his father would have done this job willingly) that and I think men who whimper are cute thanks for coming to my Ted talk

HE IS ENJOYING IT and I love it sm

Hehe I am glad to know you haven't gone hungry today (^o^) and such high ratings for the banker and loverboy

#genshin impact #genshin #pantalone #genshin x reader #➳❥ eluxcastar #genshin impact x reader #➳❥ ooh lover boy #pantalone x reader #➳❥ rumour rants #fatui

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funnywormz · 2 years ago

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Idk which of these you've already done, but... encyclopedia, drama, visual calculus, inland empire, shivers, and reaction speed (but I use it to slip a small caterpillar into your hand)

this got kinda long so im putting it under a read-more!

ive done drama and shivers so i'll leave them out here, but i haven't done any of the others so im doing them! ^___^

encyclopedia: what's your favourite niche piece of lore?

idk if it's exactly niche bc it's pretty easy to come across it, but the little detail abt ,tzaraath", the elysium-wide pandemic of prion disease, was rlly interesting to me....... in the game it's only rlly brought up bc the economic and social consequences of it led to the revolution, but im curious abt the disease itself. iirc it was supposedly spread by potatoes, which seems like an unlikely vector for a human neurodegenerative disease?!?!?!?

i also wonder how it was dealt with/eradicated. in reality, back in the 80s/90s when bse/cjd (which is also a neurodegenerative prion disease) was more of a concern, it was mostly dealt with through testing to prevent spread from cattle to humans, and through large scale eradication of cattle. however even with modern medicine, prion diseases in general are pretty much untreatable and if you have one like cjd you're just kinda fucked lol. cattle with it can't be saved either and usually get culled. so im curious to know how tzaraath was dealt with in elysium given that it was supposedly a widespread disease that there was probably no cure for. did everyone with it just die? how have they been able to prevent it spreading again since, do they text crops for it? is it survivable, are there any survivors still around? is the disease itself still present in the population just at a lower level? idk it's just rlly interesting to me

the other little lore snippets that interest me are: 1) joyce mentioning a specialist fungal species that lives at the edge of the pale and 2) ruby knowing someone who used to work at a repeater station (possibly an ex-lover of hers, even?).......... i need to know more abt both of those too...........

visual calculus: what's your overall favourite moment of the game? your favourite line?

big spoilers, but it's this:

"Insulindian Phasmid - That must be incredibly hard. The arthropods are in silent and meaningless awe of you. Know that we are watching -- when you're tired, when the vision spins out of control. The insects will be looking on. Rooting for you.

Insulindian Phasmid - And when you fall we will come to raise you up, bud from you, banner-like, blossom from you and carry you apart in a sky funeral. In honour of your passing. (But not me, because I am just a leaf eater.)

Volition - In honour of your will, lieutenant-yefreitor. That you kept from falling apart, in the face of sheer terror. Day after day. Second by second."

the whole scene with the phasmid is my favourite overall moment in the game, but holy shit this particular series of lines always makes me cry. it's so loving and tender, and the acknowledgement that life can be terrifying and horrible and sometimes it takes a lot of willpower to keep going it so oddly comforting to me. it makes me feel like im not alone in how i feel and that it's ok to find it hard and struggle, just as long as i keep going and keep trying. and it's comforting to think abt the insects waiting for us at the end of it <3

inland empire: if video game Disco Elysium was put in a hydraulic press. if it was bundled and squeezed into a small object that fit in the palm of your hand. what would that look like? what would you do with it, then?

hm......... i thought abt this for a while and i think it would be like an iridescent little die with a glass/polished stone kind of texture, and would look mostly blueish green with sparkles of orange, but would change depending on how the light hit it and what angle you were viewing it from. it would be a bit bigger than other normal dice, but still a standard cube shape with 6 sides. it would be cool to the touch and kinda heavy, and smooth at the edges instead of sharp. i think the first thing i would do would be roll it to see what number i got

reaction speed: (i am simply giving you an ace's high)

FUCK YES. i am returning your aces high but very gently so as not to squish the caterpillar and i will find a nice green leaf for it to nibble on 🐛

#THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TYSM #disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #ask game

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elektrantchios · 4 years ago

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one normal day

Pairing: Adam x sister!Reader (with a little cas x reader but you can read it whatever way you like) Summary: Adam wants y/n to have one normal day. not trusting Adam Cas tags along Warnings: swearing, fluff, and not much else Word Count: 1.4k A/N: first i hope you like this and im sorry it took me a while to post. started it right away but something came up and i've only recent got back to my writing, and the new episodes really didn’t help 😅 been edited twice but might of missed something, thank you dyslexia

requested by @ivyyie: ok, I always thought of something like that, Sam and Dean have a little sister, and when Adam shows up, he wants to take the reader out for a walk so she can be a normal teenager for at least a day, Sam and Dean allow, but Cas asks to go along, since he doesn't trust Adam and wants to protect Reader.

MAIN MASTERLIST | REQUEST OPEN

“no. no way. Not gonna happen” Cas huffed with his chest out, with his hands on his hips.

“I don’t need your permission to spend time with my sister” Adam tried to argue back.

“No” Cas stopped speaking when you walked into the hotel room.

You looked up from the lore book in your hands and over to Adam and Cas who were both red in the face then to Sam and Dean in the middle trying ��their best to calm them down. You raised an eyebrow at them, “What you guys fighting about?”, you put the book down on the table. “well?” you asked again when no one spoke.

“ehhh, Adam wanted to take your out for the day” Sam said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“like a hunt” you tilted your head to the side, “don’t think that’s a good idea”.

Adam pushed away from Cas giving him the side eye, Dean and Sam stayed where they were but Cas stepped closer too, “No like a normal day. We can do anything you want”. You mouth formed an o space as you understood what he meant. You turned to Sam and Dean for guidance.

“no issues here go have some fun, you deserve some” Dean smiled sitting down.

“really?” Cas said loudly, you looked at him shocked not used to hearing him yell. “I know he’s your brother but we can’t trust him” he said in a hush tone, “I’m just looking out for you” he put his hand on your arm.

“Cas” you sight blushing his hand away, “look I love you for looking out for me but I can look after myself and anyway have you seen him? I could floor him in a second” you heard Dean and sam snigger from across the room. “no offence” you nodded to Adam.

“is that a yes?” he asked looking at Cas.

Cas rolled his eyes in your direction and nodded his head. You sent him a smile and went to grab your coat. “one condition” you stopped to look at him. “I join you two”.

You stared at him and scoffed, “Fine if I helps you sleep at night”.

“I don’t sleep”

“I know, I know. Its just a saying” you shook your head, “Come on then, I hear the fair is in town”.

You had to practical beg Cas to watch you from a distance when you got to the fair, he wasn’t happy about it but did it in the end to make you happy.

At the fair you felt a little overwhelmed, sure you’d heard about fairs and what happened at them but actually being dead in the centre of one was strange. You looked around at all the other people having fun who knew what to do, you looked at Adam who looked in place too.

“so?” you strung out getting Adam’s attention, “what should we do first?”.

“Well which booth is your favourite?” Adam asked. Your face heated up at his question so you looked away embarrassed. “oh. You haven’t been to one before” he realised.

“well never really had the chance” you muttered, “its always the end of the world for us” you waved your hand in the air. You huffed “I mean look I have an angel following me around. I’m not normal” you pointed back to where Cas was intensely watching.

He cleared his throat and nodded to a booth, “well dad and my mom used to take me every year and we always did the gun one”.

Adam lend the way over to the stall where the back wall was covered in little red boxes with small metal people inside. “okay so you get bb bullets and you need to shoot 5 ‘people’ to win a prize”.

“sounds simple” you nodded.

“I’ll show you then you try” Adam smiled.

When Adam shoot his first shot you felt Cas behind you, “do you think he knows I can shot a gun better than him?” you questioned over your shoulder. Cas snicked when Adam nearly hit the man behind the booth. “hey, give me a go”.

Adam handed you the ‘gun’, you shifted the gun from one hand to the other getting used to the weight. The real gun in your jeans pocket was heavier by far and could shot better. But you relaxed your shoulders and got into the right prostitution, you lined the gun up and fired 5 perfect shots.

You beamed over to Adam and Cas. Adam looked a little shocked while Cas just grinned at you. When the man at the stall handed you the biggest prize, he had you skipped over to the boys. “Now that was fun”.

“Maybe we should give the booths a break” Adam suggested after you handed him a 2nd teddy.

You turned to face him holding another teddy and over to Cas who held 2 other prizes of his own, “yeah probably” you shrugged, “getting boring winning anyway”.

Adam smiled looking down.

“What else should we do?” you asked biting your lip.

“well since you cleared out all the booths, we could try some rides” he pointed to the big wheel, the best he could with his arms full.

You nodded excited, you let Adam walked ahead so you could talk with Cas. “You think you could cut him some slack, please for me” you pleaded.

Cas studied you not saying anything at first, he squinted his eyes at you. “I suppose I can leave you alone for 15 minutes”, you wrapped your arms around him but the teddies in his and your own arms got in the way. You settled with a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks Cas, I can always count on you” you grinned. Cas watched you go with smile on his face.

“is he not following along” Adam asked.

You shook your head at him and laughed, “He just worries” you jumped up and down on the heels of your feet next to him, “and he promised he’d give us some alone time”.

He looked unsure and glanced back over to Cas who was still stood where you had left him, “That easy?”.

You smiled and laughed, “He means well Adam, he been through a lot with us. I don’t blame him for worrying”.

Adam looked sad for a moment, you looked at him confused. “You shouldn’t have gone through anything that involves angels and god knows what else, Sam and Dean neither”.

You laughed dryly, “it wasn’t so bad” you shrugged. He face stayed serious, you started to feel uncomfortable, you laughed again and elbowed him, “Stop, we’re here to have fun, right?”.

He nodded and did his best to laughed making you smile. “you right and look its our turn next” he pointed to the line at had gotten shorter.

Near the end of the evening Cas either trusted Adam or knew you would be okay enough to keep at a further distance. You had to admit it was nice to be ‘normal’ for one day, no looking over your shoulder, no hunting down whatever monster was terrorising people and having fun for what felt like the first time in years. You felt bad when you thought of it that way, you thought that if Dean or Sam heard you they’d be hurt but you knew they just wanted what’s best for you, like you did for them.

You lent against the motel door with a grin across your face, clutching all your prizes and the cotton candy you brought for the guys. “Thanks for today Adam”.

He stood a little away from you with his hands in his pockets. “you know I thought you would say no at first”.

You laughed cocking your head to the side, “Why?”.

“I don’t know, thought you’d think it was a stupid idea”.

“well I had a great day and you were right, it was nice being normal for once”, you put your things on the floor and walked over to Adam. He watched you move looking unsure the whole time, you pulled him into a hug before he could talk. He stayed still in shock, it took me a few seconds before he responded with back.

“when you’re in town, we should do it again” he suggested when you pulled away.

you smiled and nodded, “maybe the others could tag along too”.

“yeah! Maybe Castiel will be more relaxed then” he laughed.

You laughed too while you gathered your things from the floor and turned back to Adam, “I mean it, thank you”.

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural imagine #supernatural #adam winchester #adam winchester x reader #adam winchester x sister reader #adam x reader #adam winchester fluff #adam winchester fanfiction #adam winchester imagine

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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mtmte liveblog issue 19

it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers

we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]

tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man

‘the divided self’ what a good title

rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in

in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything

oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that

oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him

its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life

augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic

its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure

I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?

augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d

oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing

tailgate :(

the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much

it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT

oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world

mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess

the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’

I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY

and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!

oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...

aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm

finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six

hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo

and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified

I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy

ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands

ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this

I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced

back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD

the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild

‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes

FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD

pharma you piece of shit

poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus

and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be

then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him

and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots

circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals

poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia

OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here

that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’

cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans

BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore

jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk

the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting

AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history

in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans

additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science

like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao

like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh

anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later

so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real

cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you

also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed???

ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!

MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO

‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH

poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez

oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...

hype af for more B)

#lj rereads mtmte

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shikai-the-storyteller · 5 years ago

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CYBERVERSE WATCH: S3 Episode 17, 18, 19, 20

Episode 17

Oh nooo Windblade u good??? LASERBEAK AND WINDBLADE OMG!!!

Beaky please don’t peck my girl (that is kinda cute though)

Windblade she isn’t a pest!!!

Laserbeak watches her fly off like “I get no respect and no thanks???”

HECK YEAH GET THEM FLIERS!!! Jetfire please be careful bud, Starscream has some old beef with you

OH NO ALL THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SOUNDWAVES

The only downside to knowing all these characters and getting excited about cameos is it’s that many times more likely that a character I like will die 8(

YEAHH WAY TO GO LASERBEAK you’re the real MVP

JEEZ HE GOT OPTIMUS RIGHT IN THE CHEST

HEY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE OPTIMUS

OH SHOOT WHO IS THAT

OH FRICK OH FRICK ITS MEGATRON!!! HELL YEAH

Megatron, a million universes away: My “Optimus is in trouble” and “Starscream is being a menace” senses are tingling, gotta go back to Cybertron

FRICK that was a cool entrance

Oh man what happened to his eye--HOLY FRICK HE LOOKS HOT

AYYYYYY ITS THE OG BLACK HELMET MEGATRON LOOK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MAN I FRICKIN LOVE MEGATRON

KUP NOW ISN”T THE TIME FOR YOUR COMMENTARY (that was cute though)

Oh my gosh when Starscream started to say “You’re too late to save your--” for one very frightful minute I thought he was going to say something about Optimus like “partner” or something and I felt every muscle in my body tense up lmao, I should’ve known better but RATS

WHAT

WHAT THE FRICK THAT WAS SO FRICKIN COOL

IS THERE ANYTHING HOTTER THAN WAKING UP TO SEE YOUR OLD FLAME STANDING OVER YOU GLOWING LIKE A VENGEFUL ANGEL ABOUT TO KICK STARSCREAM’S BUTT

POWERS OF CYBERTRON UNITE??!?!?!?!?

EVEN OPTIMUS GOT SOME

BOYFRIENDS PUNCHING STARSCREAM’S ARMY OF QUINTESSONS TOGETHER!!!! SHADOWSTRIKER!!! BEE AND SOUNDWAVE!!!! GOSH THIS IS SO GOOD

WRECK THEIR SHOP SOUNDWAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starscream you’ve sentenced them like five thousand times what’s new about this OH RIGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT GLOB STUFF

ASTROTRAIN!?!?!?!?

Starscream: NO ONE CAN STOP ME *CUTS TO WINDBLADE* wanna bet nerd

I LOVE my beautiful girl

Oh that is some nasty looking Quintesson tech

Uh oh u good Windblade???

Croaton can you please slap Starscream out of the sky before you leave it’d save us a lot of time

Aw man I wonder what Megatron saw that made him sorta regret the stuff with Starsc

HE”S BARING HIS SPARK!?!?!? WAIT IS THAT ANOTHER MATRIX

ARE THEY GONNA FUSE????

MEGATRON PRIME

GOSH I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO FRICKIN SPARK FUSE THERE FOR A SECOND

*CUE “THE POWER OF LOVE” AT FULL VOLUME*

Ok but what the heck did Astrotrain do???

If you get along with someone you don’t like the universe probably won’t end pfft, thanks Kup

CREEPY BUGS???

Megatron please take his hand :(((

IM LOSING IT MEGATRON REALLY IS A HUGE KID *takes out a piece of chalk and draws a line between them* this is MY side of Cybertron, this is yours

guess galavanting through space didn’t change him TOO much

Guhhh these opposing sides shots always break my heart I WISH THEY COULD OVERCOME THEIR DIFFERENCES AND BE FRIENDS AGAIN SOMEHOW....

Dang Astrotrain is HUGE compared to the rest of the bots, I wonder what he looks like in bot mode

SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THAT EPISODE (and I had to take a break in the middle of it) I FORGOT I STILL HAD THREE LEFT thank the stars

I genuinely can't believe Megatron essentially drew a line between him and Optimus and went "This side of Cybertron is MINE, the other side is yours"

*cue shenanigans of Autobot and Decepticon buddies trying to secretly cross the line to visit their friends in the other faction*

gosh fanfic always depicts Megatron and Optimus sneaking around meeting each other for smoochies I'd LOVE to see their subordinates being the ones doing the sneaking around while Megatron and Optimus are just like "GUYS....". Fingers crossed for the next episode!

Episode 18

CYBERTRON LOOKS SO PRETTY....

oh my gosh they actually built a wall

WAIT DID CLOBBER SERIOUSLY SWITCH SIDES OMG SHES AN AUTOBOT NOW

WHAT BEE CAN FLY!?!?!? WHAT!!!

LMAO LOCKDOWN NICE BOARDER PATROLLING

Well it took all of 30 seconds to confirm my theory lmao man I frickin love this show

Man I can’t believe how quickly they beat the Quintessons, I REALLY THOUGHT THE AUTOBOTS AND DECEPTICONS UNITING AGAINST THEM WOULD BE THE BIG SEASON FINALE I’m thrown for a loop now lol

ew those colors remind me of Sentinel Prime I hope that’s not him

OH WAIT IS THAT IACONUS MY BAD

PRIMA???? OH?????

Grand Imperium?????

Omg did Rack’nRuin switch sides too? I thought they were Decepticons

JETFIRE COME ON BUD OPTIMUS IS TRYING TO HAVE HIS MOMENT

Croaton city!!!

LMAO SKYBITE’S SHARING HIS POETRY....CUTE...

But where is Soundwave!!!!!

I’m with you Bee, those insects are creepy

WOW ASTROTRAIN IS HUGE

“And WHO rescued you from that tyrant” OH??? ANOTHER UNIVERSE’S MEGATRON MAYHAPS???

“I must know if the barrier holds!” OH!!!! Oh no is the final battle gonna be against all the other universe’s people who Megatron burned as he gallivanted through the multiverse??? I SURE HOPE SO

Gosh not to be predictable but that new armor looks so frickin good on Megatron

OPTIMUS IS SO STRONG

POOR OPTIMUS....

“During wartime, decision-making came so easily” MAN....THAT HURTS.....

oh he’s looking for Windblade!!!

AW SHADOW STRIKER C’MON, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE BUDS NOW

“I know better than ANYONE what it’s like to be left broken on the battlefield. I did what I could” MY HEART JUST SWELLED THREE SIZES FOR SHADOW STRIKER....I LOVE HER....(ALSO THAT HURT)

Bee it REALLY seems like you should’ve had a plan / backup team for this!!!

BEE YOU’RE GONNA RESTART THE WAR!!

RODIMUS!!! YOU’RE BACK TO YOUR RED FLAME SELF!!!

WHIRL!!! OMG MY BABY

Wow that wall does a crummy job of keeping out fliers

SOMEONE PLEASE CATCH WINDBLADE

Thank you Whirl

OH JEEZ HERE COMES MEGATRON

SKYWARP!!! (I say while being super scared for my faves)

Whoa Megatron actually backed down

Nice

CHROMIA!!!! SAVE HER PLEASE

Episode 19

Ohhh are we gonna get to see Caminus??????

BEAST MACHINES?????

omg they’re gonna have to collect Windblade’s mind like they collected Bee’s memories

Chromia that doesn’t sound too convincing (you’re super cute though so I forgive you)

MORE BIRDIES!!!

A CYBER HORSE????

IT”S A JET!?!??!

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH IT”S CRYSTAL CITY!!!!!!

AGAIN, I WANNA SHAKE HANDS WITH EVERY BACKGROUND DESIGNER WHO WORKED ON THIS SHOW

OHHH mirror selves!!! Scary but pretty!!

OH MY GOSH!!! IS THAT RAVAGE!?!?!?!?

PLEASE LET ME SEE MY LITTLE BOY!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE RAVAGE

HOLY FRICK THAT LOOKED AWESOME??? KNIGHT??? A REALLY COOL KNIGHT???? WHO ARE YOU

Thunderhow??

My first thought was “Someone got their Warriors Cat oc into Transformers” and that cracked me up

KNIGHT OF THE PRIMES???

THIS STAINED-GLASS STYLE ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS

I like this dude but something tells me they’re gonna have to fight / kill him later

Bee’s smile is so cute!!

lmao nice lore-speak Chromia

They should just blast through the walls of the maze

“That sounds like a nightmare” “Scrap that!” THEYRE SO CUTE omg way to break the rules you two

CRYSTAL WINDBLADE!!!!

oh shoot many crystal windblades

I love the little “tink tink tink” sounds her feet make

Just her arm???? Jeez louise are the rest of the episodes gonna be about collecting Windblade?

Oh it’s Thunderhound

Optimus is just like “PLEASE leave me alone”

Petition for Optimus Prime to just get a frickin vacation

Episode 20

Man I’m so sad this series is almost over

Everyone in Mac’s bar without Mac..... :( Cute to see Percy as the bartender though

IS...IS THAT WHEELJACK?

OMG WAIT THAT”S THE COSMIC RUST WHEELJACK BACK FROM LIKE EP 2 or 3 IN SEASON 1????

“The Past” I FRICKIN KNEW WE’D SEE YOU AGAIN!!! IT WAS TOO WEIRD HAVING HIM WANDER AROUND IN AN EPISODE WITH NO EXPLANATION LIKE THAT

COWBOY WHEELJACK IS SO GOOD

Man Cyberverse is so frickin weird, I love this cartoon

Oh there’s my boy Soundwave

JEEZ THIS DUDE’S GOT NO FEAR

Megatron looks so cute...

“This is Autobot territory! You can’t--oh guess you can” pfft

I can’t believe Transformers is a western now

Optimus is the sheriff around these parts lol

Aw man Optimus JUST put that thing in there

OPTIMUS IS SO STRONG....I LOVE MY BUFF BOY

WILDWHEEL? Oh my bad, guess that’s not Wheeljack

“No one ever tried to find me” :(((( I wonder how many other bots felt that way

“I was one of the good guys! But you left me on that planet!” OW....

Pretty terrible shot Wild Wheel

OH NO....Innocent civilian got hurt, now Optimus is serious

Wild Wheel Optimus has been through a WAR your cowboy training aint gonna cut it

WELL THAT WAS A. WEIRD EPISODE. ALRIGHTY THEN I can’t wait to see how Wild Wheel is going to pop up in future episodes

Me: haha evil cowboy robot Wild Wheel: I felt abandoned because no one searched for me and I was forced to do horrible things in order to find my way home Me, tears streaming down my face: Haha....cowboy robot

#i talk #Cyberverse spoiler /#I'm watching Cyberverse #primordial robot hell

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ask-hextechjanna · 6 years ago

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Ok but hear me out

SonaxJanna

Disclaimer I am not a Sona mun or a big follower of demacia lore so i’m not super sure of all this

AnYwAYS

I always had this hc that Sona goes on tour all over the world for her concerts (partially to show off the talent in demacia and from house buvelle and partially to keep mage sona away from demacia to minimize the time people could start getting suspicious of her music containing magic), altho with the ryze video it seems like instead of playing concerts she’s running all around the mainland dealing with the world runes. Either way it seems like the two could have an opportunity to meet.

Just by playstyle alone, I’d say Sona is the more aggressive of the two and probably instigates everything.

They’re both insanely good at their magic and I think some sort of mutual admiration would come from that. I know my portrayal of Janna is already absolutely enchanted by sona’s music and finding out that such a beautiful art can be made with magic? Immediate fascination right there. Plus sound waves need travel through a medium (cough air) so something something connected powers.

I think they’d be good supports for each other (hah pun totally intended). I can’t say anything about their personalities (whatever personality you can grasp from those generic ass “im a nice girl” VO lines. I guess Janna’s new lore has confirmed that she’s pretty playful and not beyond using her magic to get petty revenge. But sona ????), but I assume for the most part they’re both pretty easygoing (janna’s probably more stubborn of the two tho since she had to have that trait to survive) and kindhearted and probably get along pretty well early on.

I also think they’re both pretty lonely despite all this attention and it would be nice to find someone who they can relate to. While going Zaun to Piltover is probably less culture shock than magic loving Ionia -> burn the witches Demacia, they’ve had rather similar experiences of feeling unwanted as a child and then all of a sudden having to deal with gaining massive status and popularity in a place far away from home. It’d be good for both of them to meet someone who can sympathize with each other’s past traumas. I feel like this would also be a place where Sona massively gains respect for Janna since she remained so softhearted even after going through hell in zaun and how she had pulled and clawed her way out of a bad situation. There’s probably a lot of insecurity and trust issues from being abandoned as children + paranoia (sona for being outed as a mage and chased away or killed, janna’s leftover paranoia from living as a thief for most of her formative years and the fear one day people she stole from would recognize her and out her as a horrible person) that they both have probably not gotten over. It’d be interesting to see them help each other work through that.

Depending on if the sona mun believes sona killed lestara or not (and if lestara was a good mother), I feel like Janna could help sona work through the guilt as I’ve written my Janna with who has worked herself out of a decent amount of guilt over the death of one of her mentors)

I can also see some potential issues down the line. I see them both as people who would bottle up their own pain until it bursts. I think this is more applicable to sona since she grew up in an orphanage and then demacian nobility was probably trained to “behave” (shut up, don’t cause any trouble, don’t cry, act as an example as one of the older girls in the orphanage, etc). Sona would probably be super receptive (empathetic powers?? Maybe?? Or just super sensitive because learning to pick up when other people were upset or annoyed saved her from quite a few beatings at the orphanage) to when her partner is upset and would always check up on Janna. Which makes it all the more frustrating for Janna to watch as Sona hides her own pain, not practicing what she preaches and janna would probably get explosively angry at sona for this at one point and probably refuse to talk to her. Sona also might be a little jealous of Janna being able to freely practice magic and thus not have to struggle with hiding such a big part of her identity. Yet she can’t blame Janna for that because it really isn’t janna’s fault and she feels like such a horrible person for having such thoughts but she can’t help but feel resentful because being with janna each time keeps reminding her of how trapped she feels in demacia so she eventually has to leave. Wow I just started this ship and i’m already talking about how poorly they could break up wja;elkflskj.

They’ve got the same voice actor so that’s pretty neat too.

#muns musings #another ship that was half for the memes that i got too invested in #sonaxjanna

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i-am-1134 · 4 years ago

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The Lady of Light

In the year of my 4th 6, I worked with a man at a barbeque shop that I ended up giving many names starting with ginger and eventually Red being that he had natural red hair and so as an ice breaker I liked filling his head with celtic lore and stories of red headed giants, attempting to break through his firm stances of skepticism. He had a very healthy way of dealing with knowledge, someone who clearly had no internal dispute with cognitive dissonance. I would draw conversations into topics leading to a frame of reference for some of my “bizzare” theories. Like clockwork he would say a little something like “Bullshit, total bullshit. Show me some proof.” in which id find a direction of knowledge to lead the way. He would come back and say either “Ok you got a point there.” or “I see where you get your ideas now but there are holes”. Once I figured out how open he was willing to be we began swapping hallucinogenic trips stories and he eventually said “Have you done dmt?” I answered “ Ive never even heard of it.” then he followed with some personal stories of his own. I was thinking it sounded like the helpers in psilocybin mushrooms on mega steroids and equipped with even deeper soul revelations. I was very interested at this point and just like that he said “You wanna try it?” and so a week or so later he invited me over to his place to partake.

The setting was just right, a perfect chill in the air and at the cusp of Twilight, a synchronosity with my time of power and 2 days after my date of birth. Red Began with an instruction on how to use it “ take two big hits if you just want the experience, 3 or 4 if you got the courage, and don't ride the flame.”. So going by his instruction it became obvious that sticking to my golden rule when dealing with hallucinogens and doing more than the doctor prescribes, 5 it was. He set me up on a couch in his living room facing a 9 foot window with the shades down barely seeping through the nights light, he said “Im gonna turn off the lights and leave you here with yourself.” I said “Alone? That's cool.” wondering why. Red replied with an assurance that its the best way.

With a bowl of pot and some of these yellow tiny crystals piled on top I thought “here we go” and began taking my puffs. The taste and the smell was potent, really embrassive to the nostrils yet familiar and the smoke was hard to hold in, coughing every hit.

Out of nowhere I became very aware of my hearing and focused on this sound. I then realized I was hearing my awareness and its pitch was getting higher and higher. My Whole body felt as if it had come alive with some engulfing force and every cell in my body was expressing a fraction of my awareness while bathing in it. Suddenly my attention was drawn to these eyes popping in and out of my surroundings. They would appear closed, open, peer into me, and then disappear. Following were shapes that were swiftly changing different colors and started off as the common platonic shapes but then became strange never before seen shapes with strange curves throughout glistening the colors of the rainbow one by one yet even quicker and like that, everything went away and the whole room was dark.

“What the hell happened, is this it?” I thought to myself when a light in front of me caught my eye. It was like light coming through the creases of a door. At that point I had come to realize that what was once Red's 9 ft window with blinds was now a huge metallic looking double door arched at the tops and was what appeared to be opening, letting in more of these rays of high yellow- golden light and revealing strange engravements all over it. A shield with something in some in-discernable language to me now forgotten, a sword that appeared to have flames coming off of it, two serpents on each door side going all the way to the top that looked like they were slithering down the door. I thought to myself that it must be because of the shadows on the doors surface due to the light coming through it as the doors were opening. The word Adonai engraved at the top of the door just above the shield that were both being cut in half as the door opened.

A silhouette made out of scintillating golden light in the shape of a woman appeared in the opening and began putting her foot down out of the door way. As her foot took each step downward it became clearer to me that she was walking down a crystal stair case and every step she took her shape became not only more clearer, solid looking but was changing appearance. Her feet, her legs, hips, stomach, breasts, shoulders, hands, her neck, her hair, and even all of her facial features were changing every step she took down the crystal staircase. When the morphing was over I was looking at the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen and realized that this creature was looking for my un-dividable attention and when I say that it had it, I really mean had it. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she began to crawl to me on hands and knees, popping her shoulder blades up and down like a lion or a puma. The whole time with her eyes fixated on mine and it felt like she was peering at something right through me and behind me or deep within me, she gave a quick half cocked suspicious like smile and disappeared within a flash of an eye.

All of a sudden I saw myself flying through the door way at the speed of thought and the surrounding became very incomprehensible. Seemed as if its was an environment filled with billions of electrical currents chaotically going each and every way and as quick as it came it was gone. In an instant the surroundings became a lush jungle all around me and all the trees and plants were luminescent with rich gold light streams. It seemed that the lights were responsible for the makeup of their forms. Flowers appeared to bloom out and retract back in a synchronized fashion with one another and at the speed of my heart beat. It was like the whole jungle was swaying back and forth to the beat of my breathe. There was a stream of water translucent yet emanating gold filaments of light that appeared to flow upstream as its current flowed down. It encapsulated me for what seemed to be quite a long time when my attention suddenly peered across the stream at a cluster of gold mushrooms. The golden mushrooms were so brilliant I couldn't help but smile. As I fixated on them I started thinking to myself how delicate they must be, like the wings of a golden moth. I look up from the ground and spot a big golden toadstool in the middle and sitting on top was the woman, sitting with her legs crossed and back in her original golden silhouette.

At that moment, like a lotus flower blooming in the middle of my mind space, I received what I was to come to know as a telepathic message. Each petal was like a linear conversation that I quickly found out that I could easily decipher into a coherency I could store in memory. It was as if my entire interaction with her was pre-written somehow beyond the confines of time.

The message made me realize even more the familiarity I was having with this place and the mysterious creature that appeared as a human woman. I said in my mind “Who are you?” and through the lotus message I heard “through the many ages it took you to get back here and who I am is what you want to know?” I never realized it before but at that moment I had this profound remembrance of an age old personal history and was witnessing it in it's totality and became embarrassed of my question. “Thotek” I heard and at that same instant I recollected where I actually was. I was at the point of all knowing, absolutely anything that can possibly be known was at my door step, all I had to do was ask the question. I became nervous with haste I realized that the golden jungle was fading as their luminosity was fading, so was she, and the force that I had been feeling engulfing me was beginning to wane.

“Quickly, you don't have the energy to stay here.” she said and I knew the substance was wearing off. I was completely unprepared for this gift of a lifetime and I was blowing it and I knew I was blowing it. I decided quickly and thought to her “ How do I assemble my light saber?” and “What am I ?” I heard a soft closed mouth type female chuckle that left me contemplating on the feeling of how this creature was close to me someway and out of nowhere I watched a lightsaber being assembled out of thin air. There were three main parts made out of a complexity of many parts and I realized almost instantaneously that my previous research was way off and amounted to a pile of shit. It was overwhelming but was quickly taken from me for a time because of what happened next.

The Next thing I remember I was back on the couch, no door in front of me and pitch black yet I could still see a faint dark blue hue of the living room like a silhouette of everything making it up. I was overwhelmed and depressed, I just got the greatest gift I probably will ever know and I blew it and like that a vortice appeared. It seemed to grow pretty significant in size and then a snout came through it, followed by a head, and a long body, it was a dragon, a chinese style dragon and its entire form looked like it was formed of some kind of glowing smoke. Its whiskers, its eyes, its scales, absolutely everything that made this dragon was in full detail and it was moving very slow with an enthralling grace. Another vortice opened up in front of it and it started going through when I notice another vortice and another, until the entire room was filled with this dragon going in and out of them.

“don't be afraid, if you feel ready reach out and touch.” I heard in my mind. Its power was great I could feel it. I put what felt was my hand out and became very intimidated and much to frightened so I pulled my hand back in.

At that moment a vortice opened right in front of me and I saw the dragon coming out right at me but slowly. I couldn't seem to move my body and began to brace myself for impact in the hopes of it being enough for whatever was about to come. It opened its mouth wide, it looked as if it could swallow me in one gulp and right when my upper body was within its jaws I was completely back in this reality. The last remanance of the dragon appeared as smoke swaying past my cheek and the feeling of a tingly cold energy running throughout my entire body to my core and exiting through what felt like two unseen or etheric appendages off my upper back. All I could muster out of my mouth was “......WOOOH....”

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sightofsea · 8 years ago

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this is rly dumb and there is the HUGE chance im going to regret this but ok

basically when i was 15 i wrote an approx. 200k OC doctor who fanfiction featuring a kind of half self insert/half attempt to subvert mary sue comapnion stereotypes named jenna quigley. and ive been thinking about it more lately like the general storyline bc like. idk. n i figured i should write it out.

i should mention this is all 11th doctor era bc i was a huge fan at that time, and it takes place between that time he leaves amy n rory to when he does his farewell tour bc i wanted to try n add some canonical irony that ill get to later

so basically its all narrated from jenna pov as kind of stories she’s telling to the tardis database via recording. why, we don’t know yet. she;s. ok so in the plot she was from our universe n was an AVID fan of the show which like tacky i know but whatever. she starts out 15 and in basically my house and neighborhood (this fic started from a constant daydream i would have of going on adventures w the doctor bc i was a nerdy 15 yo so like. sue me) and there have been a disturbing amount of disappearances in the surrounding area that local police are stuck on. so everyones kinda afraid to go out into their own homes and at one point, jenna is doing something out in her backyard and actually witnesses one of the abductions, but is surprised to see the kidnapper looks like the silence, aka the television show shes been watching. she thinks shes going bonkers. her family leave her alone for the day to go to a thing for one of her siblings and she’s just kind of ruminating on this event when--lo and behold, an officer arrives at her door.

and jenna, she’s very skeptical about this guy. like, given recent events she doesnt trust her own eyes. and the guy is...off. like his badge n credentials, if she concentrates, looks like something else for a flash of a second, and for some reason the figure of him is kind of hazy whenever jenna tries to look directly at him. he is shown to have a quirky, friendly demeanor n jenna figures well, i gotta tell someone about what ive seen, so she invites him in. they have a brief chat n its obvious to the reader that this guy is someone VERY familiar (mostly due to my bad writing at the time) and jenna begins to explain what she saw and how its like this one show she watches, and this guy suddenly becomes very very interested in this before realizing he’s got it all pieced together and asks for jenna’s help in navigating the area to find what is, ultimately, a silence space ship.

jenna agrees and over time realizes this guy is most definitely connected to something in the whoniverse and originally believes he might be a time agent bc that seems more likely given their number as they travel to the ship. its also revealed that the officer has brought jenna along bc the key thing about what she saw is that she actually remembers the silence and can see past perception filters due to the qualities of alternate universe, slightly alternate brain chemistry and so on. its not exactly perfect--she can’t get through perception filters rly, especially good ones--but its enough to know something is wrong n remember certain things others from the dw universe might not be able to like the actual silence aliens themselves.

anyway they make their way to the ship, which has come through a massive tear in reality that the officer came through. in the fic lore i guess tears are seen as usually benign things meant to leak ideas of universes into other universes as a kind of waste disposal system, and as a side effect create inspiration in those who are close to them. this tear, though, became too big, kind of like a leaky pipe, and actual material was able to get through by keeping a frequency from both ends of the tear as a kind of safety rope. and to maintain their energy as a stranded ship the silence have been using humans as batteries. i put a lot of thought into this, i know.

SO once theyre in the ship the “”officer”” (we know who he is by now lets just face it) and jenna are captured n separated. jenna is held hostage and it is revealed she is a part of a second half of the “silence will fall when the question is asked” prophecy which goes “the unexpected shall follow the guided task” (i loved rhymes) which is further revealed to the be the following: change the timeline and destroy the doctor. and jenna, being jenna, is like “listen u guys i dont even know the guy so uh failed step one i guess”. she’s saved by the “”officer”” in the nick of time through work of faulty electrical work (like? i know its for style but the silence have all those lights on the floor n it is VERY dangerous) so the whole ship is blacked out n she hears the differently pitched speech patterns (”why do u sound all different” “they took my equipment nevermind lets go”) and after doing some work to reverse the frequency and basically make the ship implode back into its original universe they run back to jenna’s home in the dark, seeing as she was out for quite a bit. her family is conveniently not home yet n decided to hang out with some friends. and when she gets back n is finally in the light SURPRISE!!! turns out the officer was the doctor all along in disguise from the silence using a perception filter. 15 year old me was a literary genius.

n u might think hannah this is rly long is it done now and of course it isnt!! that was just the intro!! after the initial shock jenna kind of parses what era the doctor is from, which is pre-silencio but after finding out about it n in that 200 yr stretch that was never rly shown. and jenna’s like, a whole season ahead of him basically and knows all this stuff and is trying to engage with this guy she’s a huge fan of without like accidentally spilling the beans on his future. she sits him down to explain the whole tv show thing n lets him watch an episode while she goes to her room to pack like clothes n her laptop because its not every day the doctor just flies in and she’s 15 so shes like hellz yeah im gonna be a COMPANION not even THINKING of the consequences in terms of the multiverse, the prophecy and her family (she does leave a note but its self centered n kinda lame tbh just like be back whenever). afterwards she walks the doctor back to the tardis and is like so where we gonna go n the doctor looks at her like jenna you are a literal child im not taking you anywhere and jenna though some MASTERY of writing that was basically hey look over there! and doing it anyway sneaks into the tardis when the doctor isnt looking n becomes his stowaway.

for the next few weeks she just kind of chills in the tardis with this fear that the doctor will immediately bring her back home so might as well have fun and kinda sneaks around him and keeps couch hopping from room to room. the tardis does not like her one bit due to the whole different universe funky energies thing (and this was pre-clara and i really wanted to see a companion the tardis didnt like so) and has multiple conversations with it via the interface hologram which meant i could write cameos for classic companions and write the tardis as a character bc i was a nerd.

SO after weeks of casually avoiding the doctor eventually she gets caught by him and hes not happy about it so shes like well ok then send me home n then she gets the real kicker which is the tears all mended up. after the material was put back in place it went back to being benign n too small for anything to travel between. so jenna basically stuck in this foreign universe with a very slim chance of returning back to her old life and her family and friends and she mistakes the doctors anger at the situation for anger at her so shes like basically im all alone here oh god n has a crisis n has a dramatic run off into the bowels of the tardis hallways

eventually the doctor finds her and they bond over being kind of the last of their kind in a way and he takes a kind of fatherly role and is like well youre already here and im miserable on my own so why dont we two birds one stone it n just go on adventures for the time being and takes a kind of fatherly platonic role with jenna bc i was sick of seeing companions hook up with the doctor and was confused as to why they wanted to hook up with him (spoiler alert: huge lesbian)

so they set off on their adventures. the first one was about the doctor and jenna accidentally boarding a ship of genetically engineered soldiers called evos being shipped off to a galactic war and finding out some of them had rebelled and had been camping out in the ships underbelly. they had no mouths but were able to communicate via sign language n empath touch powers of transferable memories. the captain was a bitch who didnt see the evos as living things n eventually in a stand off either offered them a chance for the other, still podded evos to live and for them all to live a horrible life or have the podded evos be ejected into space in return for them to have a chance to fight for their freedom. the choice ended up coming down to jenna, somehow, i think, and she chose freedom and cost the lives of like 200 evos but were able to get the ones they were able to save (about, like, 100 i think) to safety and create their own civilization away from harm on a distant planet and their success and triumph to live their own lives i guess canceled out the fact that jenna played a part in the deaths of 200 beings. it was. i dont even know

the next “episode” after a brief interlude of less impactful adventures and discussing mortality was a sherlock crossover episode that im too embarrassed to go into detail about but did reveal jenna’s newly formed abandonment issues due to her stranded in a strange universe situation and the fact she had a self harm problem that, surprise, mirrored mine. her n the doctor went on some more adventures over the next few months that were mentioned in passing. it should be noted that this first “act” i guess takes place over a solid year

the next episode featured river song bc i was gay for her without knowing it and i had just learned about easter island in history class and i decided to expand on one of the adventures said in passing during the series to kind of root my fic in canon bc i was a smarmy bitch. it involved being perceived as gods and the silence and using the flesh as a means of luring villagers to be used as human batteries and also putting a percetion filter on the ship so what was actually a crater was perceived to be a mountain. through this episode we saw the doctor again facing his own mortality, river sitting jenna down after a series of events pieced together her abandonment issues n harm problem n being like you cant rely on the doctor for this alone trust me i know its fun but when it starts ending it wont be. jenna gets kidnapped again by the silence n is reproduced as flesh to try and steer the doctor n river away from saving the day but overcomes that impulse and eventually pulls herself out of it and helps save things.

this episode also imports an important plot device of misplacement, which i shouldve put in earlier if im honest. the basic idea of it, within the fic lore, was that the universe, multiverse, whatever had to compensate for temporal displacement all the time when choices were made, but when big things that would alter history happened--like a giant supposed mountain blowing up 200 years after it had already blew up--it had a fail safe to transport the object causing the harm to the exact place but in a different time where the event would have less of a temporal impact. theres also an important note here where the doctor doesnt recall jenna being with him on their first adventure together. both are setting up the larger plot.

after the deal with the kidnapping and the flesh and all their adventures the doctor becomes kind of protective of jenna because i mean the dude also has abandonment issues like lets be real. so he kind of tones down the danger in fear of jenna dying or getting hurt. i mean, its been a year and theyve kind of become these friends who snark at each other like a family would and its nice that jenna has this person she can trust because she watched the show and like, knows him and knows his tells and calls him out on his bullshit before he can even get started and feels a kind of responsibility for due to the prophecy she was given and the doctor has someone to talk to and someone he also doesnt have to hide from really because she already knows almost everything. theyve been equally protective of each other--jenna keeping the doctor in the dark about the prophecy about her and keeping mum on the fact that she knows he isnt going to die, and the doctor worrying about jenna’s safety and trying not to screw her up like he has past companions to kind of try to atone for his past mistakes and make it up to this girl whose life he kind of unintentionally ruined. ok honestly idk why im getting in depth but i spent. years on this fic you dont understand

so. after a while jenna just kind of calls the doctor out like come on lets at least go somewhere fun and end up spending christmas eve in new york in the forties and befriend this newly single mother and jenna fakes a REALLY BAD accent to get across that her n the doctor are related n poor to gain sympathy. they do all the things she wants like times square and macy’s, where surprise! she sees amy n rory n their son and just kind of like. guides them away from the doctor like guys. this aint ur guy. and it would fuck EVERYTHING up also hi i know your guys’s entire life story, cute kid, etc. they give jenna some advice dealing w the doctor and she tells them that she’ll try her best to make sure he doesnt like, go self hating n all that bullshit n they part ways. her n the doctor meet up again and throughout this whole first part jenna’s been noticing people following her? with like, these weird orange-y eyes. and she thinks like fuck ok this’ll ruin the adventure, maybe theyll leave but they end up starting to go after her and reveal themselves to be a species called the visicheck

after escaping and dumpster diving because the visicheck hunt based on scent, jenna and the doctor start heading towards the single mother’s place for refuge (she had seen their situation n offered a place to spend christmas eve) and on the cab ride over the doctor explains that the visicheck r these ancestors of the family of blood, and basically are lifeless specks that latch onto living things and possess them until they burn them out and move onto the next one. they consume what is the basic energy a thing needs to exist and be alive, and for different species there’s different levels. lets say a dw universe human is ur basic ten on the scale. because of different circumstances in different universes, jenna is basically a 120 on the scale. like, these things could possess her body and use it for centuries to wreck havoc with the kind of energy she holds. and jenna, thinking about the prophecy of changing the timeline and also not wanting to basically be the living dead is like yeah ok fuck this is bad.

they find some brief refuge in the single mothers apartment for a time and enjoy a lovely christmas eve dinner but eventually the visicheck catch up to them. the doctor escorts the single mother n her kid into a cab to get as far away as possible while jenna is just supposed to keep holed up in the apartment, but things arent so easy and they end up breaking in. she’s able to hit them over the head with a pan n kind of stave them off for a bit and heads for the roof, but is eventually backed into a circle. knowing the visichek can’t possess something that is dead and not wanting to potentially endanger the universe just to keep her life jenna jumps off the building in a dramatic fashion that i wrote to play with the carol of the bells because i thought it was cool, and you know what? it was. it really was.

and so jenna dies

at least for a bit

she wakes up in the tardis, rly confused because like, she died. like she knows she did. and the doctors not speaking n acting all broody and she finally gets the story out of him that after she died (posted as an anonymous person in the newspaper, i should note, and put in an unnamed grave to keep the whole “written in stone” thing in line) he kind of. went off on his own for a bit before rly hating himself for letting jenna die right in front of him and went back to catch and save her before she landed, therefore altering the events as it happened. and jenna is...not happy about this. like, one bit. because, in a twist of fate, because she is both living and dead the universe must compensate by going to misplacement, but jenna can’t fully complete the misplacement “”process”” i guess until she is in the exact location she is misplaced from, only different time and all, and in this case she’s in the tardis which almost always has its shields up, so she can’t even complete that bit. so, as explained, the universe will start the process over whenever the tardis decides to fly off again, and send jenna to a different time within the tardis’s general vicinity.

basically, she’s gonna be stuck hopping around the doctor’s timeline. like, all of it, until she finally meets up with the right doctor who knows her n has been past this point. which could take years for her. and, mind you, the task she was “assigned” in the prophecy was to change the timeline, and as a result destroy the doctor. so this is basically jenna’s worst nightmare, and she finally spills the beans about the prophecy in a fit of anger before trying to say goodbye and being whisked off

and this is where the angst stuff happens

basically, for the next year or so (when i rewrite in my head its two years, makes more sense) jenna is thrown around one end of the universe to the other, trying to stay out of the way of the doctor’s events while also trying to, you know, survive and eat and drink and sleep. she’s basically a homeless vagabond for most of it, and her abandonment issues and self harming kind of escalate. she begins leading a really lonely life, and grows this kind of love/hate relationship with the doctor where she really hopes to see him again but also grows bitter against him for putting him in this situation. she visits companions before their time with the doctor, like donna, by accident and stumbles through meeting them and trying to just keep going. in her loneliness she starts talking to a version of the doctor in her head, which starts taking more and more of a form to her before its a fully grown kind of hallucination she’s created out of loneliness (which was kind of based off of me being a lonely kid and having pretend conversations with characters to simulate human connection which is. sad. i know. really sad. its a lot).

for a time jenna is stuck with the doctor and martha during the months leading up to human nature/the family of blood, and inadvertently meets martha and gets a job at the school as a fellow maid through helping martha drag the doctor to the place. she figures its the only stability she’ll have for a while and since she was never shown in the show it isnt rly affecting the most important bits of the timeline, and resolves to stay as far away from john smith as she can and just live out her life until the events of the episodes start happening and she’ll vamoose. she adopts an accent to blend in and when she has free time finds the stashed away tardis, which initially does not recognize jenna as a companion until finding archived recordings from the future bc duh its a time machine, which brings the whole pov thing full circle, and interacts with the interface to get answers about her growing questions about the silence and her situation and learns about a device called the cage, which has been alluded to in previous “episodes” only by name, as a great machine created by the silence that is meant to basically make it so that anything inside of it would be erased for existence, past present and future, using energy form the cracks in the universe. this was still at a point in the actual series where we knew nothing so i just kind of went buckwild.

anyways

jenna ends up having to interact with the tenth doctor as john smith once, and kind of aims all of her bitterness towards her future self at him and realizes that isnt fair, apologizes, and has a cathartic moment of finally moving past a grudge with the wrong version of the doctor. eventually the events of the episodes start happening and she vamooses before getting sent off to god knows where again, yippee

eventually through the next year jenna kind of begins to rly lose hope. like, it’s been a year already, she doesn’t know if she can keep living like this. so she makes a deal with herself to wait out until the end of this second year of time travelling vagabonding before she decides to off herself to save herself and the universe the trouble.

she keeps going through the motions and actually stumbles upon a future, post-silencio doctor, with rory and amy in tow, and in a fit of like oh my god relief she kind of runs up to him and is like i found you, finally, holy shit n the doctor looks at her like im sorry but i dont...know you? like i genuinely dont know who you are. you might have ur timelines all switched up. and jenna knows this isnt true and freaks out and kind of just is like, theres like fifteen days until the deadline, all hope is lost, gonna just completely self destruct n cuts her hair and stops eating, but on the day of the actual deadline she keeps stalling as she zaps from place to place before finally deciding to end how it should end by jumping off a building n she has this heartfelt convo with this imaginary figure thats kept her company all this time

so she makes the journey up this apartment building in this basically abandoned future...chicago, i think? yeah. and you know, is about to do when whaddaya know, a familiar voice is calling out for her. she thinks its just the hallucination but eventually realizes that its actually the doctor, one that knows her, and they have this really heartfelt hug before she punches him square in the face

after the fact is a lot of secret keeping on jenna’s side. she doesnt want to be a burden and just kind of wants things to eventually get back to normal after a period of just resting finally and lies about her time being thrown around the doctors timeline, telling him it was only a few months instead of two years, and hiding the evidence of her self harm and other forms of self destruction to try and get things back to the way they were. the doctor can see through jenna’s bullshit though and over a month of just kind of chilling in the tardis and getting better she eventually tells him and after being pulled into an adventure with alien bees and a prison break and characters very much based off of the captor brothers from homestuck they kind of find their original rhythm

the next adventure was the one where i stopped writing mostly bc the plot absolutely sucked. it was a beach adventure episode, involving aliens and aliens who were mermaids and being stranded on a remote island. also, at the time i was going through a sexuality crisis and decided jenna was gonna go through it too and made her realize she was gay for one of the alien mermaids and totally made out with her. you can see how the plot was failing a bit, and the only thing i dont regret is the whole mermaid makeout thing really.

the rest of the series from that point on was supposed to go something like this: jenna has to go back to her old high school, except in the dw universe, and finds out she actually doesn’t exist in this universe??? which is weird. the doctor plays teacher and they live in the prop attic of the school investigating a counselor that literally feeds off of emotions until the students are a husk and die. there was going to be a filler where the doctor and jenna start the doctors farewell tour (it is revealed when they finally find each other at the end of the timeline jumping debacle that the doctor has like two years left until silencio happens, with like a hundred years passing between new york n finding jenna) and the doctors mortality is discussed and jenna begins to wonder what happens to her since she isnt at the event or anything going forward, and begins to worry about the prophecy again.

the finale of jenna’s adventures was supposed to go like this: they end up tackling the silence again, only with the help of the cage, after jenna notices the doctor beginning to forget more and more things about her. they get captured and the silence plan to place the doctor in the cage and eradicate him from existence so that the question to be asked never existed to begin with. i hadnt figured out how yet, but basically jenna would finally click everything together and realize it was her destiny to do this, and even had a better chance since it eradicated her from this universe, and she still had a life in another one and could maybe start over and appreciate her family and friends a bit more, and would pull a switcheroo so that she would be put in the cage and slowly eradicated from existence. from that point the silence ship would kind of go haywire from the power being used by the cage and jenna would drag the incapicitated doctor back to the tardis and saying she has to go record something real quick, and then we dont hear from her again.

last scene would be of the doctor, years and years into the future, during one of his alone periods, sifting through the tardis database and happening upon the archived recording files and listening to them, not remembering exactly but living through these events with a person that was there but also never there to begin with, and the last recording being an actual face recording of jenna saying you know, she doesnt regret a minute of it, go out there and have a nice life and dont feel bad for her before saying goodbye and zapping out of existence.

last “scene” i guess would be a fifteen year old jenna, rather than the 18-19 year old we’ve come to know, waking up the day it all started and realizing she accidentally napped through the whole day when her parents wake her up. it seems apparent she doesn’t remember a thing, but her parents say something offhand that wouldve been a prolific line and she has a sense of deja vu and hints towards her someday maybe remembering but also having a chance to live a life without the trauma of her life lead in the other universe

so uh yeah. idk why i decided to write all of this. actually i do i have an essay i have to write but. idk this fic was a huge part of my life for like. a good amount of time and despite its tackiness im actually very proud of it and just wanted to share its story without having anyone ever have the link to it and read it because despite my careful planning i did narrate like a superwholock for most of it and it was REALLY annoyin. but this fic and the character of jenna actually helped me work through a lot of my own bullshit and im still kind of in love with it. and in the years to come actually m*ffat fucking used these plot points like the tardis hating the companion n the doctor forgetting about a companion like years after i wrote this shit but i think i wrapped up the cracks in the universe n silence thing pretty fucking well so uh. petition for fifteen year old me to rewrite the last half of season 6 i guess. anyway its 2 in the morning and i just wrote honest to god a full 5,000 words about my doctor who oc fanfiction so uh. yeah. fuck.

#so dumb

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