#im having SUCH A GOOD TIME.... gonna try to use up my whole warp before i have to leave in august
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Been doing more weaving!!!! Everything above the first yellow stripe was done in a single sitting LMAO. I wish I'd put a couple burgundy stripes a little earlier in the weave to kinda balance the colors but oh well!
#im having SUCH A GOOD TIME.... gonna try to use up my whole warp before i have to leave in august#rn im doing fun patterns and trying out different things#but i think ill probably end up just doing a couple plain weave dishtowels to finish the warp#once i start running out of time LMAO#jawjackin#my crafts#fibercraft#also ignore all the little strings hanging off the edges LMAO i will be tying and cutting those off
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Tell me . More about your cult of the lamb au :3
I'm specifically curious about the idea that lamb could have been a priest of a religion based around a warped version of Narinder (you could say... a cult)
How did they warp his image? Does he know about it? How long has the religion been around- does it dissappear when the lamb is sacrificed? Grrrr I am so curious!!!
RAHHHH ITS 5AM THE PERFECT TIME TO ANSWER THIS OF COURSE !!!
ok first of all, english is not my first language so if theres something you didnt quite understand lmk pls 🤝
sooo,,, an incredibly long explanation is incoming!
im gonna be honest, this all originated from A Single™️ line that Shamura said in-game. This One:
"The lamb is, after all, the sacrificial beast. Bred to slaughter"
Since the first time i read it, it kept lingering in my mind because, wdym.
In my own madness, that lines existence means that, even before the lamb genocide happened, the bishops considered lambs as some kind of free soul resource they could use for sacrifice with no repercussions. And thanks to that, ive been constantly in a state of Making Things Up In My Mind Until Shit Starts To Make Sense.
And heres where, basically everything comes into play. The lambs were Narinders cult, to some extent. They were assigned to him, courtesy of his siblings, to be literally the pastor of them, yknow, protecting them and guiding them until the time to be sacrificed came. However, those sacrifices were never for him. Those were for the rest of the bishops.
Let me explain! One thing i LOVE with what the community has done in COTLs lore understanding is the way we see the crowns powers. like HELL YEAH they are NOT a single concept they EMBRACE the whole spectrum of said concept! Including everything that may be considered "good" and "bad"!!!
AND NOW, the important thing with this,,,,
In-game, after indoctrinating the bishops into your cult, and completing each individual quest for them, they kind of tell you where they got their crowns? the version of the game ive been playing is the spanish one, and honestly i hadnt read those same dialogues in english to see if they actually translated them faithfully, but oh well!
Thats what i got from it; with the four telling you how they were basically normal creatures before finding the crowns. mind you, finding
We are talking about a culture in wich gods were kind of the basic population, maybe in the timespan before that weird "war" happened; youd think they would be more careful with those things no? Exactly!
The bishops werent properly crowned!!! :000
THIS MEANS, in my mind, that they had absolute zero knowledge of what those crowns fully embrace!!
This, also, is where i have a loose knot, for i still hadnt come to a reasonable explanation on how Narinder got his, for he seems to be the only one who wasnt a crawling creature before the crown, possibly meaning he WAS properly crowned. ill work more on this in the future :P
SO, before i start expanding waaaay more, this is where i wanted to get to, but itll be on giant general terms that i promise ill explain with more detail in the future:
the bishops didn't believe in death having some kind of spectrum to it, one that they used on their own personal gain, receiving offerings and such in exchange of "good things". As a result, they kind of excluded him, in a not so catastrophic way like you might think, but rather in a "your domain is of no use to us" kind of way.
This was a result of Shamuras doing, for they were the only bishop who got to understand what a crown entails, knowledge being in their domain after all
(as a little side note, i FUCKING LOVE what this implies. Yknow? that the contrary of war is not peace but rather knowledge, because the more informed you are the more able to see what kind of shit youre doing, yet also functioning as the greatest weapon to use in the field IS PEAK TO ME)
What Shamura was trying to do was protect him. They were very afraid of him, and in trying to make that fear go away, they decided to kind of "keep" the truth away. This resulted in him never exploiting his full domain, wich then led to ppl believing that praying to death was basically useless, unless you did it to get consolation, wich meant there were no offerings or sacrifices in his name.
Now, as the pastor of the lambs Narinder hated the way the other bishops treated them. The lambs were kept in some kind of village, from where they, whenever they wanted, could choose any lamb and make Narinder sacrifice them in their name. Even kids!
Well, after this half-assed explanation bc i didnt want to make it way longer, here comes the actual answer to your question! (sorry!)
the religion started the moment the lambs managed to escape the place they were kept in. the situation that led to this, was the same one that sparked the conflict between siblings: a resurrection.
even if Narinder was their patron god, the lambs never had contact with him until the time to sacrifice came. here youre gonna meet ellen! shes a missing link i had to write into the story for it to make more sense. she is, also, the culprit for that religion to exist!
Basically, that day they had sacrificed her lover. they were planning to escape that night, but sadly they had no chance on knowing who was to be chosed for slaughter next. instead of praying to their god, she insulted him, with such a burning passion, Narinder knew this was his opportunity.
he made a deal with her. he would revive her lover, and in exchange she would leave and never tell anyone what happened. the only gain Narinder was going to have with this was the knowledge that he could actually revive ppl, so it was a total win-win.
ellen, however, saw this as death being the kindest god to ever exist, and she felt incredibly lucky, for she was the first and only to ever be offered this.
we all know how this went, though. the ritual was interrupted by the bishops, they started arguing, Narinder did what he did etc etc
she escaped, alongside her whole village, and decided to mask her selfish act with sermons about how Narinder sacrificed himself so they could live better lives, and how he had choose her to be the carrier of his word. it was all made up ofc.
so, for a millenia, the lambs were worshipping an incredibly distorted version of Narinder. They didnt even get his name, nor his title. They only knew him as death. This also meant Narinder never got to know about this. As far as his knowledge go, the lambs may all had been sacrificed without any regulation in the next coming days after his imprisonment. None on his name, tho
fast forward and we get to Lambert! theyre the last priest to this religion, both figuratively and literally
the way priests and priestesses (?) work in here is something that in on itself deserve its own post, but on general terms:
in catholicism the priest is a person who got religious preparation to serve god and spread His word. they are meant to be chaste, kind, and just. they are also meant to be "served", to some extent.
in here, priests are more like the leaders of the lamb population, replacing Narinders role back in the day. they were all following a rule that only female direct descendants from ellen could get that title which OF COURSE MEANS IT WAS A TRANS DOMINATED FIELD LETS FUCKING GO (projecting much? LMAOOO)
so, yeah! they guide and serve! so imagine Lamberts pain after the bishops kill not only their family, but their Whole Fucking Species in front of their eyes!!! lads flabbergasted!!!!
and thats it! thats how they got a distorted version of Narinder for worship. No, he had no idea that both the lambs were still alive and that they had been worshipping him in a completely different way than intended. and yes! the religion did disappear once lambert got sacrificed! but to explain what actually happened there i need to make another pointlessly big paragraph and honestly i think i already abused my yapping rights for today!
i promise, all these concepts WILL be treated at their own pace, but it may take time for me to develop them nicely!
if you, however, fancy keep asking questions for me to go apeshit at them, PLEASE PLASE PLEASE DO SO!!!!!!
MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK YOU MADE MY WHOLE WEEK!!!! you asked about the EXACT point ive been DYING to expand more on THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl au#GENTE GANAMOS!!!!#RAHHHHHHHHHHH 💥💥🦅💥🦅💥🦅💥#no me juzguen por ser fan de cotl#naci por mi madre moriré por comer unos hongos rojo que encontré en el bosque#THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!!!!!
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ask game time! 💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!
somebody told me that terezi was a bad character on instagram so im gonna write an essay on why shes my fave character
first off her sheer chaotic energy is fucking iconic. the complaint on instagram wasnt about that because it cant be denied but shes just fucking insane and i love her for it. i think shed bite off my fingers and then insult the taste of my skin. shes just so crazy and weird and murderous and nerdy and i love her for it. we all know this. but theres a lot of her character that is so overlooked.
heres an essay on why metatextually and narratively, terezi is one of (if not THE) most important characters in homestuck and how that connects to her relationship with vriska.
vriska and terezi are described by hussie like this:
This is the most important character relationship resulting from all the sound and fury of Hivebent's chaotic dispensation... It's the arguable axis around which the whole epic revolves, when you really study all the ramifications from the fallout resulting from their rivalry, ensuing revenge cycle, and mutually floundering struggle for redemption, in the warped way each of them defines that idea.
so i mean even HUSSIE acknowledges that theyre important. and of course we all know vriska is obsessed with trying to be at the center of the narrative and you could say she pulls terezi into that but thats NOT what happens between them.
so terezi meets vriska at some undetermined young age and they flarp together and become close very quickly as seen in terezis memories in remem8er. and when all the drama in hivebent goes down you really see that they arent just stable in their quadrants but that their codependency plays into this vacillation in a really twisted way.
Another snapshot of the tortured Scourge Sisters dynamic, in a long tale of angst and ambivalence concerning justice and morality. Terezi wrestles with this eternally. She wants to bring Vriska to justice. But she doesn't. She does, doesn't, does, doesn't. Vriska thrashes back and forth in a different way. I'm sorry, see how sorry I am? Isn't being sorry ENOUGH? What more do you want? I'm sorry, not sorry, sorry, not sorry. And being not sorry takes the form of lashing out, incrimination, daring Terezi into action, calling her bluff, etc. So her vacillation is more like, I'm sorry, fuck you, I'm sorry, you don't have the guts, I'm sorry, just kill me already! The dangerous dance goes on and on.
so yes. vrisrezi good. vrisrezi complex. but what makes this even more tragic is how they act as the ultimate doomed yuri. before remem8er, terezi talks about a lot of heavy feelings she hasnt really let on before.
GC: 1 N3V3R F3LT WHOL3 GC: 1 ST1LL DON'T GC: 4ND YOU M4D3 1T SO 1 D1DN'T H4V3 TO F4C3 TH4T F33L1NG GC: FOR 4 WH1L3 4T L34ST GC: 4ND NOW TH4T 1 TH1NK 1 KNOW TH1S 4BOUT MYS3LF GC: 1 TH1NK 1 G3T 1T GC: TH3 F33L1NG W1LL PROB4BLY N3V3R GO 4W4Y GC: ONLY COV3R3D UP 4T MOST, M4YB3 GC: W3 COULD W1N TH1S F1GHT GC: CR34T3 4NOTH3R UN1V3RS3 GC: SUCC33D 1N 3V3RY W4Y POSS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1'LL ST1LL F33L 1NCOMPL3T3 GC: V1CTORY WON'T F1X M3 GC: M4YB3 NOTH1NG C4N GC: M4YB3 TH3R3'S TOO L1TTL3 SUBST4NC3 1NS1D3 M3 TO 3V3N B3 F1X3D
she talks about her sense of incompleteness in a way that reminds me of the way you see space players experience loneliness--which is cool given that mind as an aspect has some parallels to both space and time. and she talks about how shes never been complete on her own. going back to the instagram post i saw that said she doesnt feel rounded enough on her own--thats the point. so much of her character is defined by vriska that its a part of her own identity and a tragic part of her actual experiences. theres another hussie quote which is about vriska but still applicable--
For instance, you could write dozens of paragraphs of meta on Vriska alone. But the moment you stop writing about Vriska in a vacuum, and start writing about Vriska x Terezi, the avenues of analysis seem endless. It's a circuitous, psychologically tortured mutual arc of competitive codependency, which on closer inspection serves as the axis around which virtually the entire plot revolves.
her codependency with vriska is one of the most central components of the entire narrative. without terezi's internal torment over vriska there would be no homestuck as we know it. [s] flip and the aftermath of game over (F1X TH1S) are among the most important moments in the entire story and both are defined by vriska and terezi's dynamic.
GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 TH1NK 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T NOW GC: 4ND SHOULD B3 4BL3 F1GHT W1THOUT H4V1NG SOM3TH1NG GN4W 4T M3 GC: SOM3TH1NG TH4T F3LT UNKNOW4BL3, 4ND M4D3 M3 CONST4NTLY WOND3R WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG WRONG GC: 1'M OK W1TH L1V1NG L1K3 TH4T GC: NOT GO1NG TO PR3T3ND 1T WOULDN'T B3 N1C3 TO... GC: P4TCH MYS3LF UP, SOM3HOW? GC: GU3SS TH4T SH1P S41L3D, THOUGH GC: B4CK 1N OUR S3SS1ON, 1N WH4T3V3R W4Y 1 BOTCH3D MY QU3ST GC: OR D1DN'T R34CH GOD T13R, OR... GC: 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T W4S 1 D1D OR D1DN'T DO GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T'S TH3 PROBL3M, 1SN'T 1T? GC: TH3 MYST3RY OF 1T GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R GC: OR TH3 H3RO1C TH1NGS 1 SUPPOS3DLY D1D GC: S4CR1F1C3S 1 M4D3 GC: TO S4V3 YOU GC: TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY GC: WH1CH T3LL M3 NOTH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, 4ND WH4T 1'M R34LLY C4P4BL3 OF GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R!
im including this stuff without much commentary because it just acts as illustration of how much more depth to terezi than just crazy murdery lawyer dragon girl. yes, shes tormented over vriska and how she lost her in another timeline and all the choices shes made in different worlds but its also about her. her dependency on vriska is a symptom of this deep deep loneliness she holds inside her. theres something to be said about her lack of a lusus and specficially the fact that her lusus's egg was held on a scale weighing it against sburb-associated machinery
the prevention of her loneliness is always doomed. she has no lusus--but in order to have one, the world would have to end. she has vriska--but she loses her in every single timeline without fail. she flirts with the humans--but kills john in one timeline and dooms a dave in another. she cannot pursue intimacy or friendship or any form of relationship without losing both her loved ones along with everything else. its not just that she doesnt have a lusus--its that her lusus hatching will end the world. its not just that she loses vriska--its that in no timeline we see do they get a happy ending, and the closest they get in being erased from reality in each others arms.
GC: M4YB3 1T'S D3LUS1ON4L OF M3 GC: TO 1M4G1N3 TH4T JUST H4V1NG 4NOTH3R S3T OF M3MOR13S 1S GO1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L MOR3 COMPL3T3 GC: 1 C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T THOUGH GC: 1 GU3SS 1T'S 4LW4YS T3MPT1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S ON3 H1DD3N 4NSW3R TO 3V3RYTH1NG GC: NO M4TT3R HOW F4NT4ST1C4L OR 1N4CC3SS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1F ONLY YOU COULD F1ND 1T, YOU'D F1N4LLY H4V3 TH3 P3RF3CT R3SOLUT1ON TO 3V3RYTH1NG 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU C4N'T ST4ND GC: SO 1 JUST K33P WOND3R1NG TO MYS3LF GC: TH4T M4YB3 1F ONLY 1 COULD JUST R3M3MB3R GC: 1 WOULDN'T H4V3 TO F33L L1K3 TH1S
she is tormented by so much more than just vriska. and i talk about this through so much angsty and dramatic words but its really true that shes so tragic. and tragedy isnt the only reason to love her because shes also so silly and crazy and weird and offputting etc but the instagram post that pissed me off so badly said that she became uninteresting after the earlier-comic characterizations of her with her bloodthirsty lawyer/executioner persona.
GC: UH... WOW GC: 1 W4SN'T R34LLY 3XP3CT1NG TO T3LL YOU 4LL TH4T GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO C4TCH YOU B3FOR3 YOU GO OFF TO B4TTL3, 4ND W1SH YOU "LUCK" >:] GC: 4ND TO L3T YOU KNOW HOW 1MPORT4NT YOU'V3 B33N TO M3, 1N 4 W4Y TH4T W4SN'T L1K3 GC: CLOUD3D BY OUR USU4L TR4SH T4LK 4ND M1ND G4M3S GC: 1 GU3SS TH1S 1S WH4T YOU G3T FOR 1GNOR1NG M3 FOR TWO S3CONDS GC: 4 L1TTL3 TOO MUCH R34L1TY FROM 4N 1D1OT WHO'S MOR3 M3SS3D UP 1NS1D3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3TS ON
she says it here. yes she is weird and silly but beyond the parts of it that are engrained into her personality it seems to be (at least in part) an act to cover up how messed up she feels inside. she is so full of shenanigans and whatnot and doesnt display her issues the way a lot of characters do (even the prospit kids who are so known for repressing their emotions show more signs of distress that terezi does, to the point that hussie made sure to note that her distress was genuine when her lusus died!)
More great and very imaginative sound effects. "GENUINE" seems like maybe it's an unnecessary qualifier, until you consider that Terezi is so full of shit, many things she does could be considered ungenuine. So it pays to point out when she is sad for real, like when her newborn baby mom dies.
vriska, downright infamous for being surrounded in discourse around the context of her actions, is even more obvious than terezi. she too plays up an act of her unfazed coolness about all the stuff she does but shes less extreme about it in such a way that its more obvious when she slips a bit in that facade. when terezi is distressed she usually doesnt show it at all because her layers of weird silliness are too thick. shes just a lot better at the whole violent killing stuff than vriska is! you can see this in vriskas breakdown in vrisky business:
vriska has a total breakdown over realizing shell need to learn to hunt after losing her arm and she says this:
bascially saying that that prime difference between them is that vriska, yes, has learned to be ruthless and violent and manipulative (and was never a good person in the first place but it was her lusus that shaped her into being like this) while terezi never had that stress. she could do whatever she wanted and be as wild as she wished which is why she grew into the crazy troll girl who is the most important character in homestuck. with why i love her out of the way its some analysis timeeeeee.
i already mentioned how important flip and f1x th1s are but i wanna dive into that.
terezi exhibits an understanding of sburb's timelines better than anyone else, even time players, letting her do things like lead dave to her own doomed self on his quest bed, and it becomes clear that this is the nature of her mind powers, combined with a seer's intuition. she has many traits that involve seeing through different barriers, if that makes sense--she can navigate the world by forming a mental image of her surroundings by smell and taste after going blind, and she sees through the layers of sburb's bizarreness just as easily.
[s] flip is one of the first places this ability is used in a way this vital to the progression of the main plot--she uses her powers to stop vriska from dooming them all.
Any divergence from this path to my knowing will taper into blackness like rotting roots. But if I was a Seer, such offshoots would be fully within my domain... A Seer would support her allies in battle not with her weapons, but her vision. She would sift through dross of her comrades' poor tactical inclinations and examine the grim consequences. A Seer would not charge into the fray headlong but direct it as a conductor with a baton. She would have the sight to eschew the obvious gambits, and find the path to victory disguised cleverly as setback, or even imminent defeat. She would behold the fortunes of friends and foes in totality, and appraise the contrivance of luck itself...A true Seer would know where luck is a given, where it is absent, and most importantly, where it doesn't matter at all. And she would know victory doesn't matter in a reality where all else is doomed to fail.
being from doc scratch this is ofc not 100% reliable information but its still some good meta. the last couple lines really emphasize her narrative place--as a seer, she is aware of the big picture, and as a seer of mind, she is more specifically aware of the branching timelines formed in sburb. she is a mastermind behind the plot but lacks the tools to truly direct it. (and i will also go ahead and point out the line about acting as a conductor since thats a very important symbol in homestuck representing movements of the story much like an orchestral symphony.
the actual conductors we see are the cherubs, calliope in particular. calliope and caliborn are characters with actual narrative power (caliborn takes over the whole story!) so its pretty impressive to be compared to that.
but it turns out terezi does in fact have a place in the story almost at this level of power.
it's revealed that the initial version of the events following the coinflip were in terezi's vision:
and that she turned around on that initial path to prevent it from happening. on its own, this isnt that significant. but this moment is the moment that the retcons revolve around, with an entire axis of the plot centered around this single moment between vriska and terezi woven together with terezi's visions and powers.
john may be the one to carry out the actual retcons, but terezi is both the one who ordered him to do so and the orchestrator of the entire narrative rewrite. this is the moment when she raises the conductors baton. this is why i refer to terezi rewriting the universe, not john.
all john did was use his powers to carry out the list of instructions that terezi used her powers to develop. most of them are of arguable vitality but the one that truly changes everything is the rewriting of vriska's death. by doing this, terezi is the reason why homestuck does not end in the disaster of game over. were it not for terezi, homestuck would have a far more tragic ending that the bittersweet conclusion we're actually left with. there are many characters who display a level of narrative control--vriska pulling the spotlight towards herself and being somewhat aware that a narrative like homestuck exists; the very existence of john's powers; doc scratch's role as a stand-in narrator on a level comparable to hussie's avatar; caliborn's narrative takeover in act 6 and ascension to lord english; calliope's role as a storyteller of the existing narrative--the list goes on. but terezi's actions are perhaps the most significant, even if her level of control is nowhere close, rewriting the story of homestuck entirely. she does get the password pages in there, which i'll definitely count as a sort of metanarrative presence in the presentation of the comic (like caliborn and doc scratch's site rethemes). yes, john does the necessary actions to achieve this end, but would not have been able to do so without the anchor points of terezi's direction of the plot.
and once again, this is inseparable from her relationship with vriska. yes, she does this to give another timeline a chance at victory, and to carry on her story in another life as she dies in the pre-retcon timelines, but it's also for vriska. killing vriska broke terezi as much as it broke the narrative and so rewriting canon for vriska gives that other version of herself a second chance. there is not point in leaving vriska out of this because the relationship between the two and the push and pull of their tumultuous dynamic is what is at the heart of the narrative--not one or the other.
and even with such a significant role, she is still bound to her fate outside of the changes john can make. im gonna bring back some dialogue from earlier--
GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 TH1NK 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T NOW GC: 4ND SHOULD B3 4BL3 F1GHT W1THOUT H4V1NG SOM3TH1NG GN4W 4T M3 GC: SOM3TH1NG TH4T F3LT UNKNOW4BL3, 4ND M4D3 M3 CONST4NTLY WOND3R WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG WRONG GC: 1'M OK W1TH L1V1NG L1K3 TH4T GC: NOT GO1NG TO PR3T3ND 1T WOULDN'T B3 N1C3 TO... GC: P4TCH MYS3LF UP, SOM3HOW? GC: GU3SS TH4T SH1P S41L3D, THOUGH GC: B4CK 1N OUR S3SS1ON, 1N WH4T3V3R W4Y 1 BOTCH3D MY QU3ST GC: OR D1DN'T R34CH GOD T13R, OR... GC: 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T W4S 1 D1D OR D1DN'T DO GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T'S TH3 PROBL3M, 1SN'T 1T? GC: TH3 MYST3RY OF 1T GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R GC: OR TH3 H3RO1C TH1NGS 1 SUPPOS3DLY D1D GC: S4CR1F1C3S 1 M4D3 GC: TO S4V3 YOU GC: TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY GC: WH1CH T3LL M3 NOTH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, 4ND WH4T 1'M R34LLY C4P4BL3 OF GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R!
she does not have the godlike narrative position that the cherubs achieve. shes not even a godtier! and thats another part of what makes her so tragic. she knows enough about sburb to navigate it and play it to her advantage but not enough to gain the self fulfillment she wants.
GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R
highlighting this part, her seer abilities are both her greatest power over the narrative and one of her most tragic parts.
she has access to infinite timelines and choices and can tell how things will turn out but she cant simply unlock those realities and memories beyond her experiences. having the access to the memories of a better life also isnt necessarily a plus.
GC: M4YB3 1T'S D3LUS1ON4L OF M3 GC: TO 1M4G1N3 TH4T JUST H4V1NG 4NOTH3R S3T OF M3MOR13S 1S GO1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L MOR3 COMPL3T3 GC: 1 C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T THOUGH GC: 1 GU3SS 1T'S 4LW4YS T3MPT1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S ON3 H1DD3N 4NSW3R TO 3V3RYTH1NG GC: NO M4TT3R HOW F4NT4ST1C4L OR 1N4CC3SS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1F ONLY YOU COULD F1ND 1T, YOU'D F1N4LLY H4V3 TH3 P3RF3CT R3SOLUT1ON TO 3V3RYTH1NG 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU C4N'T ST4ND GC: SO 1 JUST K33P WOND3R1NG TO MYS3LF GC: TH4T M4YB3 1F ONLY 1 COULD JUST R3M3MB3R GC: 1 WOULDN'T H4V3 TO F33L L1K3 TH1S
the access to this knowledge seems to be a part of why she is so internally desperate for answers. the solution is right there seemingly but just out of reach. and in this desperate moment of trying to unlock those answers?
she remem8ers. (and i know the title of the flash is a reference to the song used in it but i will also point out just how vrisrezi it is to have her desperate attempts to recall her other self's memories be written in vriska's typing quirk)
at the end of this flash, terezi and vriska are about to be literally wiped from reality forever. and yet, they face that end smiling in each others arms. they are no longer relevant. there is no narrative significance to this moment. but its still what terezi needed to see in order to fulfill that part of herself.
um. i spent all day writing this in my free time. enjoy.
terezi save me. save me. terezi. terezi. terezi save me
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GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase
GMMTV 2024 Part 1 Reaction
April 23, 2024
When I watched Part 1 I was barely into series and watched certain trailers that I thought might be interesting but this time I'm planning on watching it live and am so into watching shows again.
The actors I'm actively following right now are Fourth and Gemini, along with some Phuwin (and by extension PondPhuwin) but none of them are getting ship work. So I'm mostly just gonna be there for the stories and concepts we get (though I'm curious about the GemPrim series and what Fourth is gonna be in). I hope I'm really excited by some concept (like The Warp Effect) or a cast/ship (like a surprise one).
Anticipation Ranking:
My Top 3:
The Heart Killers (BL) [omg KhaoFirst (and Joongdunk) in a show directed by Jojo where they commit crimes and possibly are there for nefarious reasons etc]
The Ex-Morning (BL) [KristSingto + exes-to-lovers ahhhhh]
US (GL) [it seems so moody and angsty and I love Emi's face]
Okay I lied it's Top 4:
Thame-Po (BL) [love a celebrity/idol romance and the trailer is so good and also I'm suddenly invested in William/Est]
Interested, will watch if it turns out well:
Hide & Sis (ensemble, women-focus, by Snap25, dark)
Revamp (BL) [hope they do the supernatural aspect well]
The Dark Dice (ensemble) [Alice in Wonderland vibes, hope it's done well]
Only if they get glowing reviews:
Ossan's Love TH (BL)
Friendshit Forever (messy - 2 pairs)
Break-Up Service
Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (BL)
Not Really Interested:
Leap Day
Perfect 10 Liners (BL)
Scarlet Heart TH
Trailer-by-trailer thoughts below the cut.
Ended up waking up at 5:30am while the live started at 6:20am and the first trailer released at 6:35am lol
It’s fine tho bc my semester is over, i was afraid it’d happen before im done my exam or worse, on exam day.
Oh, Yfind project which looks for plots for novels and series? and some fandom name in Thailand?
Title: Ossan’s Life trailer
Pair: Earth/Mix
Did I know about this? Yes
Thoughts: omg? I didn’t realize Earth is the one who’s being pursued by Mix and the boss character, I thought it’d be Mix! this is fun. oh, putting on someone’s shoe scene. I finally know what the show is about because of The Conversation Podcast’s episode on it yesterday and this seems in line with the Japanese version. Very comedic, so we’ll see how it goes.
Title: Leap Day
Pair: Dew/Pahn, Pond & Gun
Did I know about this? No
Thoughts: Could be interesting but I’m not super into it yet because it doesn’t seem super developed yet beyond the concept of “people around them die.”
Title: The Heart Killers
Pair: Khao/First, Joong/Dunk
Did I know about this? Yes, specifically some sort of KhaoFirst series directed by Joni
Thoughts: I’M SO EXCITED! I was watching the whole trailer while intrigued and giggling. It’s definitely something I want from KhaoFirst, something a little risqué and has some actual plot while it’s different from anything JoongDunk have done so far, so i’d be curious to see how it goes. I hope the actual plot ends up good ahh. I’ll try not to get too attached to the mock trailer bc things will probably be different but I really like it. The song was covered in My School President but the vibe is different here.
After Rewatch: I definitely understood more after the rewatch because on my first watch I was so excited that I definitely missed some scenes and dialogue there loll I'm soooo excited for criminal killer brothers Khao and Joong, tattooist First who is trying to get dirt on them to clear his own car debt record, and Dunk who has been unleashed upon Joong to distract him from KhaoFirst in exchange for a car. KhaoFirst were my pull when I first watched it and they still are because I fucking love to see them on screen but I definitely got the JoongDunk thing more in this watch. Love to see Dunk be wild (kissing Joong when he's threatening him etc) and bold and actually take action this time while Joong is the one who is evasive, a different dynamic than their usuals. I... will try to enjoy this one regardless of plot to be honest lol because people were like meh on the Only Friends storyline. I think it'll help knowing that it's a Romcom with a side of drama rather than an assassin/crime plot with side of romance. I'm also not looking forward to KhaoFirst and JoongDunk's fandoms possibly fighting based on like screentime/acting prowess/"better treatment" and favouritsm/etc. but hopefully it'll turn out okay. I actually don't mind that KhaoFirst got a 2-pair main lead instead of a solo pair show because the pairs seem very connected with each other. Seems like it's inspired by Taming of the Shrew and 10 Things I Hate About You rather than a novel. I wonder if I should watch 10TIHAY just to see what references and such they put in.
A few hours later and I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You lol I get the "date my older brother so that we can date" thing now. I suppose Dunk's character is the "wild" character who can handle his brother Joong's character.
Title: Friendshit Forever
Pair: messy
Did I know about this? No
Thoughts: Mook and Pat and New and Boun. It Could be good but idk if i’ll watch it. Pat playing a character who is a shitty friend, a la PSIHY. Title reminds me of Dead Friend Forever. I will say the best part of the trailer was the first few seconds when I was wondering if we’d get a Pat/Mook GL.
Title: Perfect 10 Liners
Pair: Force/Book, Perth/Chimon, girl too many
Did I know about this? No
Thoughts: It could be good but I don’t care about any of the actors or pairings in this. PerthChimon were the most intriguing in this though, I liked the parallel on”Are you dating anyone?” Directed by New Siwat, yeah dunno about this one tbh. bruh so many people on stage, were they all actually there in the trailer? There are a bunch of side BL couples in addition to the main 3? crazy fr. and they couldn’t throw in a side GL either?
Apparently this is gonna be 30 eps with 10 eps each of ForceBook, MarkJunior, and PerthChimon... gonna take months and months to air fr, meaning stuff could have to wait while this show keeps airing... agh. or maybe this could prevent another rerun so who knows.
Title: Us
Pair: gorgeous girls who i don’t know the names of. Emi/Bonnie
Did I know about this? I knew about a possible Emi/Bonnie GL but I didn’t know who they were. hm Us, did we expect this novel as well, I vaguely remember having seen this novel rumored to be a series.
Thoughts: GL? These GLs being about your brother/sister’s girlfriends. omg she’s the one pairing the postcards? ahhh GL KISS IN TRAILER! Oh I’m excited and also love the short haired girl’s face sooooo much. Another melodramatic GL a la Pluto, I’m looking forward to it! Is this by the same author as GAP/Pluto/Blank? People always mention how problematic her novels are and somebody mentioned they don’t like the source material for this show either but I love a little problematic romance, so we shall see. Fon is the director.
After Rewatch: Went to MDL to double-check that the girl with cropped hair is Emi (she is! beautiful!) and the rights to this were brought like 2 years ago or what? Over a year ago at least since the comments have been waiting for announcement since then. Dang the acquirement rumour was on r/GMMTV back in February last year, so I probably saw it back then. The plot is quite straightforward, seems like it's focused way more on interpersonal relationships. Love the moody, indie nature of the angsty scenes but then they're so charming and bright when they're like happy and together! Also very happy to see like passionate kissing and romantic physical affection between the women even in the trailer, I'm hoping they have great romantic chemistry in the show. Doubt we'll get this one before 2025 though since it's directed by P'Fon and she's directing High School Frenemy right now and also has Scarlet Heart TH to do. I doubt GMMTV would air 3 GLs in a year already lol, so I'm hoping at least Pluto comes out this year and US is one of the first things out last year at the latest.
Title: Hide & Sis
Pair: ensemble and messy, focused on sisters
Did I know about this? No
Thoughts: PSIHY flashbacks. Snap25 is in charge of this, which makes sense. Very vibey, eerie, hope it’s good. Focus on morally corrupt women and sisters yay. Pepper/Lookjun are dating IRL right? hehe cute
Title: Thame Po | Heart That Skips A Beat
Pair: Est/William
Did I know about this? That there is expected to be an EstWilliam
Thoughts: Oh, a BL? So many GMMTV people who I don’t know these days. Another idol BL similar to Only Boo but more mature ig? Is this EstWilliam? I’ve seen so many people excited for their BL but idk their faces lol. It’s a Parbdee project? Exciting. I like the vibes of it. I hope they do the celebrity/commoner aspect well, I like an idol romance in theory (and in fic lol) but I don't think I've yet watched one that I've enjoyed.
After Rewatch: I randomly started seeing Est and William posts start popping up on r/GMMTV a few weeks ago and then this master thread was created for it as well. I didn't know who they were (apparently a LYKN boy and a new GMMTV actor with side roles in the past) so I was just mildly curious but it's fun that this came true. When the trailer first started, I didn't know this guy was Est, so I was like oh nooo I don't wanna watch a show about not being able to find jobs and being a loser or something lol but seems like he finds his gig early enough into the show. The trailer is even better on the 2nd watch when I know what's going on lol. The background music really suits it, it stood out to be during the first watch as well. The trailer is 4 minutes and seems fairly fleshed out, I wonder... if we can hope that it's one of the first ones to film from the 2nd half? It's done by Parbdee who have a few projects this year but the director is Mui Aticha who doesn't have anything else lined up for the year since Beauty Newbie? So maybe she can work on this soon? Crazy resume though, The Gifted, F4, Girl From Nowhere, etc. I wonder how she'll do with this one though since it's a more grounded romance like Beauty Newbie (which didn't receive good feedback rip).
Thame is William and Po is Est and from the characters + how people referred to them during the conference after the trailer, seems like they're going for WilliamEst? Interesting because everybody on the subreddit was just reading calling them EstWilliam lol I enjoy them switching it up a bit to play with expectations and cast based on the characters rather than which order people think the people themselves should be. WilliamEstWilliam would've been fun too. The next day and Est has posted pictures with #WilliamEst. Funny to have William-Williamer-Williamest.
I hope the mood and vibe of it being calmer and romantic and the drama from the celebrity idol life remains true, I don't want it to become more light-hearted and comedic, nor do I want it to become Extra Angsty or anything.
Also, it's such a fascinating yet baffling choice to me to have LYKN star as Mars. You're going to have your own boy group act as the group that's getting broken up by their company and who some company exec calls "losers" except the one guy who's gonna debut in Korea? And also, it's gonna show how not being able to date or come out sucks but it's not like GMMTV is gonna change that for LYKN like group, only for Mars the fictional band in the show lol. and fans wouldn't like it if William has a partner other than Est either. hilarious idk
Side note but every time I think of the title Thame-Po, I think of the song Thaam Lo even though the pronunciation isn't the same.
WilliamEst ship: Okay it's the night of the 24th, so it's been like a day but I'm quite into the ship itself idkkk man, I get why people on the gmmtv sub were going crazy about them for the past month. The thing is they're like so shy on stage when talking about the show omg, I enjoy seeing a ship being shy and unsure when first introduced to the public and they haven't quite figured out how to work everything out yet, it's cute. I also have learned that William is a 05 liner while Est is 01 and I need them to have the same age gap in the show pleaseee, I love a younger pursuer character for real. I know Thame calls Po Phi in the trailer though, so we know William plays a younger character at least
Title: Break-Up Service
Pair: Off/Jorin
Did I know about this? No
Thoughts: Fun concept, I’ll wait to hear if it’s good before I watch.
Title: Revamp: The Undead Story
Pair: Boun/Prem
Did I know about this? Yes
Thoughts: Ah, trailer for the BounPrem vampire story and it seems more serious and sinister than the campy nature of the other vampire BL: Golden Blood. Kinda reminds me of Midnight Museum actually. It looks good, I’ll probably give it a watch.
Title: Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist
Pair: Mark/Ohm
Did I know about this? Yes (Mark was hinting at it)
Thoughts: Two BLs back to back? Uni BL with dentistry student Mark based on Jittitain novel. It’s not super intriguing based on the more exciting stories but I need a good easy-watching, cute, uni BL once in a while in between he heavier hits. So this could be that. The trailer just seems long-winded
Title: The Dark Dice
Pair: Gemini/Prim
Did I know about this? Yes
Thoughts: Ohh kinda reminds me of The Gifted and the trailer for Enigma. A high school show about them trapped in some game. Wish there were more girls in the cast though. Less romantic than I thought. I hope it’s good and not like Homeschool which has a Very Good trailer but didn’t get good reviews.
Title: The Ex-Morning
Pair: Krist/Singto
Did I know about this? Yes, KS were shooting mock trailer with P’Lit
Thoughts: girl I was already like hehe KristSingto as expected BUT THEY ATE EXES!!!!! I love exes-to-lovers and it’s kinda funny since it parallels their ship work. huhhh wtf was that random ass car accident? hah I’m excited for this too. We knew the director is P’Lit who directed SOTUS.
After Rewatch: I thought it parallels KS's journey of Singto leaving GMMTV then him coming back and doing a BL with Krist again (kinda of exes-to-lovers if you squint) while the guy-fucks-up-and-is-crucified-on-the-internet could be parallel Krist's journey and turns out P'Aof wrote the script based on Krist Singto themselves, that's wild. The university days drinking pink milk really gives me a visceral reaction. I LOVE the look on Krist's face when he looks back at Singto in the towel and then quickly turns have his face like O.O it's very cute, I giggled the first time too. They seem to show stuff toward the end like with Krist winning the award again and Singto deciding to leave and also this random ass accident (seems like people are trying to kill Krist? What with the random motorcycle guy as well). I don't tend to like too much info in a trailer (over 4 minutes?!) but maybe if it means that we'll get it as one of the earlier part 2 shows because the script is written, I'll take it. I don't know if that's the case though because Aof is overseeing/scriptwriting and he's a busy man (though Director Lit doesn't have other shows I don't think)
Title: Scarlet Heart Thailand
Pair: Tu and ?Win?
Did I know about this? no
Thoughts: Not really a trailer, as they sometimes arent with these remakes. Scot’s are all pretty big hitters, especially Tu and Win, along with some people I’m looking forward to like Fourth, Phuwin, Tay, Nanon. Directed by Fon. I don’t know what this show is about at all though.
Expectations: based on rumours I've seen mostly
GemPrim: Yes
KhaoFirst: Yes
MarkOhm: Yes
EstWilliam: Yes
KristSingto: Yes
a GL: Yes
BounPrem and Wabi Sabi updates: Yes
I'm hoping for a large ensemble cast show centering women (PSIHY and Ploy’s Yearbook to a lesser extent, both by Snap25) or some mystery/sff (Homeschool, Gifted): Yes
My expectations were basic and based on some very well-believed rumours, so I'm not surprised they're correct.
Actor Attendance
Observations:
Interesting to go from watching The Warp Effect where I knew pretty much everybody to these trailers where there are so many people whom I don’t know, including main actors for BLs and GLs (Est/William, Emi/Bonnie). Good chance to get to know them if the shows turn out well though!
On that note, it's always interesting when they choose completely new ships to be the main couple of a show, again like Us and Thame-Po. This also means a lot of the familiar main or side BL couples are in ensemble shows like Perfect 10 Liners (there were so many people in that, I couldn't even keep track of them all).
High School: 1
University: 2
Non-School: 10 (or 11 with Ossan's Love)
Very few school shows comparatively, just 3/13, less than a quarter. That's exciting, I'm especially glad that being out of school doesn't just mean office worker shows lol
The puns never end: Friendshit, Revamped, Hide & Sis, Thame-Po (Tempo - 50% pun), The Ex-Morning. Hilarious that there are more shows with puns in their names than school shows.
Overall:
More shows grabbed my interest in this round I think. It seems like a more somber/serious set of trailers than part 1, which is cool.
Also, most of the trailers seem well-made, not necessarily in terms of story because they don't have full plots and stories yet, but in terms of production/quality.
I just hope the scriptwriting for these shows are strong, especially because they're dealing with interesting concepts like idol romance and exes-to-lovers. The concepts are soooo good but bad screenwriting or a story that doesn't deal with the interesting aspects can make the show fall flat.
I'm also glad that there is a mix of old ships, new ships, and totally new faces for these BLs and GL Like we have shows with established main pairs like KhaoFirst-Joongdunk and Forcebook-PerthChimon in ensemble shows, we have interesting situations like KristSingto which is a returning main couple and BounPrem which is an old series but revamped ;) for their GMMTV debut, but then we have a ship like MarkOhm where Mark has been in multiple shows and ships but he's leading in a series with somebody completely different. Then we have Emi-Bonnie and WilliamEst who are new faces as GMMTV leads and their ships are completely brand new.
In Part 1, it was similar in that we had stuff like main roles for existing ships with OffGun - The Trainee and GeminiFourth - My Love Mix-Up, ensemble with existing ships (We Are - PondPhuwin etc), had existing actors in new ships like OhmLeng in Kidnap or JossGawin in My Golden Blood, we had new ships like GreatInn in Wandee Goodday,
All in all, a good part 2, I'm glad I watched it live, it was exciting and I'm looking forward to these shows (though I'm not holding my breath though lol because part 1 shows still gotta be released). I really like these showcases and I'm kinda glad that now it's split into 2 because I get a new one every 6-7 months instead of once a year haha
Actually no my main gripe: Where are all the women? Us, Hide & Sis, and Friendshit Forever seem to be the only shows that focus on more than one woman and the BLs basically have no women, or possibly 1 female side character. Why can't they have side GL pairings or multiple women in the same show, truly what the heck? I hope that more women are cast in the shows as they start writing scripts and such, like a side GL in Us or a side GL in Perfect 10 Liners among all the BL pairs.
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DBD rewatch notes!!
episode TWO!
Also my autocorrect is fucked but I'm not gonna proofread this thing ✌️
alright im making sure to watch the recap this time, apparently a character narrates it.
well that was underwhelming. maybe the real narration is added in a later episode.
Also I just realized about how 'this living girl can help with the living' and 'Becky is alive' like no wonder Edwin panicked he thought he wouldn't get to help out ghosts anymore.
so they just happened to walk by the docks, huh?
MUSIC
even Charles thinks Eddie boy fucked up.
Even now, Edwin wants to handle diplomacy. Just like with Shelby.
it would be kinda funny if the guy these cats killed was the sane guy Esther tested her machine on. random guy constantly exposed to The Horrors.
PURPLE FIRE
"using magic on my cats is a risk car crash on your part" that line is so iconic
so I guess the cats like him being king bc he's protective, or at least willing to start shit on their behalf.
THE TWIRL
what does too many cat scratches do to a ghost?
is that location inside the warehouse? I assume it is abandoned bc of how many cats have been showed to live in there. are the lights kept on by magic?
OF COURSE the cat king has his mattress on the floor LMAO mold who?
"If you must know" omg CK's private questions are probably so protecting and random before Edwin's autistic ass catches on to the flirting
MUSIC
He is trying so hard to stay on track
NOT THE ROPE TAIL
The way they show us Edwin's reaction before showing us that CK grabbed his *wrist* I thought this scene was going in a different direction on my first watch 👁👄👁
a caging spell is like. so obviously a bad guy thing to do. like, making someone feel like they can't leave or manipulating their life until they can't leave is classic abuser shit, and CK here pulls it on their FIRST meeting. not to mention the spell can only be undone by the caster, so if Edwin ever wants to leave the town (bc being there actively puts him in danger) he is forced to see the Cat King.
The whole point for CK of putting that spell on Edwin, was to show him how fucked up his spell on that catboy was. So he KNOWS that using magic on someone is wrong.
Edwin is trying so hard to get this guy tp be reasonable
"I can see that has offended your old fashioned sensibilities. I an a fair and consensual Cat King." THIS IS COERCION. THIS IS FUCKING COERCION.
I get that he backs off or whatever, but why on Earth did he think any of that was okay to begin with!? Also no "fair" king has to point out how fair they are. It's almost as if you've given this guy enough rain to believe otherwise :o
Why exactly was there a time warp??
I love when Edwin talks with his hands.
Not Edwin accusing Charles of being careless because he isn't at risk of going to hell :0 (also Charles yes we do it is happy brevete you're the best)
I'm not going anywhere without you :3
So ig Charles figure CK must have had something else to say bc how on Earth does one *trick* Edwin? like he tells Emma, driving a hard bargain is his THING.
Jokes on Edwin bc act cagey about something ONE TIME and all of a sudden it's the only thing your friends ask about!
Hercules referenced!
She looks so small in that room alone
that would probably be funny if I knew what John Hughes was.
Hop on the ferry AND THEN WHAT
say what? they're so in tune.
*tosses mail on bed* *misses*
these guys really love using symmetry in shots
you can actually hear Litty and Kingham giggling here! and a little bit of their weirdass theme song.
How exactly can Mick tell that the magic can't be undone??
Tragic Mick is so lonely. nobody cares about his story.
freebie enchanted jar, I guess. Good on Charles for recognizing how cool it is but like. why did he give them that besides plot
Will the kids ever find out that Mick was the one who sold that stuff to Esther?
SYMMETRY
no thoughts only explode
Yay Edwin cares if she's alright!
is there like a running joke with them about western medicine? bc the line 'stop being so nice' just sounds random to me idk
TWIRL
he's so excited! aww
The way he looks at the wall when Charles points out the bracelet XD
just because you don't like books does not mean you have to be so haphazard! the place is a mess and you probably ripped some pages!
pink is blue and your left isn't mine. makes perfect sense.
Those poor little shits had no clue they would end up inside a girl who hates being looked at XD
I like how Niko is shy at first it's a cool character decision.
why does Crystal already say "yes" to "history of fainting" if she doesn't get know that Niko has had these episodes before??
Also the hysteria detail is nice. a few episodes later Edwin corrected himself before saying it, and I think either Niko or Crystal must have spoken to him after he called Niko hysteric *twice*
why do they keep thinking Death will randomly show up in their office??
the "you'll rip your arm off" is a comic reference. a child servant named Persephone was stuck in a mirror portal when she died and Charles was afraid Edwin would injure her if he tried to pull her out.
I think Charles might have started to suspect what CK wanted in this scene, but until Edwin comes out he probably either feels unsure about it or thinks it is too delicate to ask straight up. Not that he's necessarily "delicate" with what he does ask.
oh their little joke and smiles are so cute!
MUSIC
well if it isn't the book Charles TRIED to get earlier!
Edwin with the literal interpretation
Also I can't see MUCH of the writing but the "secretions" are described as "viscous" so there is no way they made that connection without seeing the vomit first. that does not mean weird light.
Crystal is so funny here. "I noticed you have no friends sp you must feel lonely about your sickness. similarly, I don't know my parents." she is lucky that worked. it is still a sweet scene tho.
She's so sixteen. she needs her parents. :((((
Did Niko say she lived in Japan? Did Crystal read that on the envelopes? Why didn't she get visions when she touched the letters? they're definitely emotional enough.
Crystal has changed into more subdued clothing, and the ends of her hair are a little messy. honestly her hair progression is so interesting to me because of the way it changes with her character, but I think I should rather that be it's own post. lmk if y'all want that, but I will probs get around to it anyways.
So this is where the conflicting narratives confuse me. Do they exit the host body when they get strong, or when they are starving?
SYMMETRY
Niko is so excited to listen to herrr
What exactly does Niko mean by "are you insane?" like she sounds so excited.
Crystal is so sensitive to Niko's feelings. She tries to be helpful but also not freak her out.
The 4th wall break HELP (+more symmetry and a face closeup)
Also the flashback starts out from her eyes.
Now that I read about it, he school uniform really does look like Litty's dress. plus you can hear the sprites giggling again!
At least Edwin has enough sense to let Crystal keep doing her thing!
MUSIC
I guess Jenny thought Crystal brought Niko downstairs. Great, another way Jenny thinks she is weird and irresponsible.
Who was that shorter person in the hall of the Lost and Found?? Emma or something? probably not.
bigass clipboards
Most of Charles' chest is obscured in the photo.
SYMMETRY
honestly the constant use of artistic symmetry in these shots A] makes a cohesive vibe and B] makes it look manufactured, it reminds me of the ASOUE netflix show in that way.
wtf does "a misplaced dead child causes more trouble than a live one" even mean?? what kind of proviene are live children causing in the realm of Death??
I like the Night Nurse character because her duty is to take care of those kids but she also seems to think of them all as troublemakers or obstacles for whatever reason. ooh, more symmetry!
What is that glowing table all about?
I guess they came up with a compromise about Niko.
Googled it, bobtail means a person you don't like or find unpleasant.
wait I added in the time period. He's being sexist.
an unlicked cub is someone who is "rude" and I'm pretty sure it is classist.
"let's not worry about dads, yeah?"
Edwin always says exactly what he is thinking. I think he probably throws in period slang if he doesn't want to hurt Charles' feelings.
I wonder why Charles has multiple things he knows Edwin's dad would say. I bet Edwin uses his dad to insult people (clients?) all the time and Charles looks it up and goes "wait a sec that describes me too" or smthng.
YAY! LEARNING!
wdym "maybe that's why I like her so much?" WDYM
"We're figuring this out" WHERE HAVE I HEARD THOSE WORDS BEFORE (staircase)
"I simply hate that I am the reason we are stuck in this town." "I should have known. Welcome to not being perfect"
MORE SYMMETRY
Walks fast bf and walks backwards so he can talk and look him in the face bf. they're so complimentary.
They always end up in that one same pose, huh? Facing straight at eachother in profile. It's so organic, and I think that CK has actually tried to force a similar shot, which is interesting. that's in a later episode though.
Charles the emotionally attuned king
HE JUST WANTS TO BE THERE FOR YOUU
"you're like a dog with a bone" *steps on bone*
it isn't as if you what, Edwin? as if you haven't said it all already? as if you know any more than Charles about it?
SKINNY JORTS
So they use the dead host body to reproduce through spore pods that biomimic dandelion seeds? I feel like that needs more elaboration. Like that needs to be explained to me.
aww poor Niko :((
You know shit's serious when they break out the "Asunder"
The circle thing. First of all, what is that? Secondly, I feel like these two are framed in a circle another time, but I don't remember when.
badass transition and the shrine is really cool. the dandelion texture is pretty realistic imo.
It does not look chiseled away but go off
So what type of sacrifices? do they need you to ""pay"" then attention? are the dead bodies the sacrifices? are the hosts the sacrifices?
Are there enough abandoned pantheons of these just scattered about that the supernatural scientific community had the consensus that they are a common parasite??
I like how the fake dandelions look slightly different than real ones.
Did their worshippers make a vessel to trap them? Or is that just where they lived before they started starving and inhabiting people?
I think this is practican effects + camera work?? it's very good!
I guess she figured out time was running out.
Is that charming in a condescending way or does he just think that she's easy to work with?
"cut the weird shit out I'll like, evict you" she had no clue how to talk to kids, or to stand up to someone who will listen.
'that got dark' that is the same reaction to when Crystal brought up David
did they ever end up telling Niko that David the Ex is a demon?
What are the rules about what objects are invisible or not?
A HOOK!?
wait did they explain to Crystal that the thingies are starving???
this scene is so frickin creeeepyyyy
They make a point about keeping their hats on. They seem to love those hats. weird.
and the sprites also care about eachother to some extent.
OOH ANOTHER COMIC REF
did her hair change immediately and they only noticed just now, orr??
This time when meeting new friends, Niko doesn't act shy anymore. She already feels comfortable around Crystal since they talked.
Crystal had a Look when Niko said the agency name was good, but idk if it was entirely mean.
They better elaborate on those godly powers next szn!
HEY the letters hit the bed this time!
WHO got the word out, tho?
So they have to tell those ghosts to go home so the girls can sleep?
so the FEAR is her power
MUSIC
Green fire
why is she doing this with the rings on. there's no way anything she's doing is sanitary.
tbh with the growling, I totally thought he'd be evil the first time 'round.
HUMAN MONTY MY BELOVEDDDD!!!!
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pairings: zeke x reader x levi
warnings: spit, spitroast, semipublic
notes: for u horny freaky fucks JHEEEEEEEEEZ
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the ride was silent. only the clacking of the wooden wheels on the dirt path can be heard over your quiet breathing. you were seated alongside zeke, trying to busy your mind of any thoughts. you had fought to be able to join them on the journey. obviously the scouts knew you as you were apart of zeke’s plan. you were the one of the strongest fighters besides from the shifters. you were at zeke’s every beck and call and therefore you wouldn’t dare let him go on a journey on his own. yes, he was more than capable of defending himself but him being alone with a scout, let alone levi ackerman, didn’t sit right with you. you confirmed many times with the 5’2 man that you wouldn’t try pulling anything or else he would slit your throat.
you often thought about how different life would be if it wasn’t for titans. if it wasn't for a raging war. if it wasn’t for ymir's mistake. would you and zeke had settled down by now? have a pretty family of your own in eldia? gabi, falco, udo and zofia did feel like your children yet you couldn’t get the thought of the domesticity of a small cottage with zeke and two kids. the feeling felt safe. it felt like home before you went off to be a warrior.
which is where you and zeke had met. you were slightly older than pieck, causing you three to band together ever since training had started. zeke had confided in you about grisha, ksaver and dina as you both started to grow up. spending long hours sat under the sunset, pretending that you both weren't warped into that war bullshit that used child soldiers. five hours always felt like two when you were with him. you were always enthralled with his eloquence and nature, causing your heart to attach to him. it was even more heart wrenching when he was chosen to inherit the beast titan. you both knew about the shortened lifespan, causing your gut to twist and turn at the thought of it. you promised to stay by his side for his remaining time. you had just grown closer and closer.
you remember when he picked up smoking. not caring about its harmful effects because he said, and you quote, “im gonna die quicker anyways.”. you tried forgetting about that aspect, but reality always caught up to you, causing your throat to tighten. it was then when you had confessed: about a year or two into reiner, annie, bertholdt and marcel’s mission. if he didn’t have much longer to go then why not try it out he thought. turns out, it was for the better. you felt safe in each other's embrace as the years got crueler. you found solace in each others warmth and company.
“oi. y/n. did you hear me?” levi’s voice brought you back to reality, his arms folded across his chest. he was trying to fill up the whole side of the carriage, trying to seem as intimidating as possible.
“yeah, whatever.” you waved him off, leaning your head on zeke’s shoulder.
“c’mon y/n, be nice, he’s accompanying us.” the blond looked down as you, bringing his hand up to your chin. he pulls your face up, his thumb running over your bottom lip. he slides it between your teeth, forcing your jaw open. his lips pucker as he gathers spit and lets the thick drop fall onto your tongue.
levi cringes, yet he stares, intrigued by whatever your next move is. you’re embarrassed, to say the least. your cheeks flush red as zeke stares down at you. its a familiar situation yet he had never done it in front of other people. you eventually swallow it, smiling up at him because of the satisfied look on his face. his fingertips run across your cheek whispering a “good girl.” to you. you let out a whimper, leaning into his touch. levi had never seen this side of you; used to the stoic and violent front you put up. he couldn’t lie, seeing your vulnerable side, eyes softer and small sounds of “more. more. more.” had him crossing his legs now.
your hear was hammering against your ribs, arousal coursing through your veins. levi’s eyes didn’t leave your form. gaze trailing from how your tits curved in your uniform and how desperate your face looked. he tried looking away, trying to think of literally anything else yet the tent in his pants formed at the sigh of you trying to rut your hips into your lover’s thighs
zeke, ever so perceptive, had noticed levi’s shifting and lustful gaze.
“darling, look at captain. hes so worked up. are you not going to help him like a good girl?”
you were pushed down to the floor of the carriage, bumping up and down slightly due to the carriage’s movement. your face levi’s erection, looking up at him for permission. he rolled his eyes and sighed, unbuckling his belt and pushing his slacks down. He tapped the head of his cock on your lips, spreading his precum across them. you ran your tongue along the tip, the salty flavour taking over your tastebuds. zeke leaned forward, pulling your skirt up to gather at your back. his fingers ran over your panties, the dampened material darkening with your slick.
“woah, you’re so wet just by sucking the captain’s cock?” he teased, pulling the material down and pressing his fingers onto your clit. you moaned at the sudden pressure, levi taking the opportunity to fully sheath his cock in your throat.
“she’s not sucking it well enough.” levi groaned, gathering your hair into a ponytail and guiding your mouth up and down his length. zeke shifted, stuffing his fingers into your hot cunt, relishing in the way you had wrapped around them. he pumped them in and out, your arousal gushing around the digits. once he deemed that you were stretched enough, he lined his dick up with your dripping hole, bottoming out with one thrust.
“you’ve been on my cock enough times, your cunt’s trained for me.” his fingers dug into your hips, each ridge and vein of his cock dragging against your warm walls. you moan against levi’s dick, the vibrations shooting and causing him to roughly skullfuck you. your gummy walls clamped around zeke’s dick like a vice, pushing your hips against him for more and more contact. you were already close; with the feeling of levi throbbing in your throat and zeke’s head bumping at your sweet spot.
“fuck.. she feels fucking amazing.” levi groans, throwing his head back against the seat.
“i’ve trained her well, captain.” one of zeke’s hand trails down to gather your slick and circles your clit.
another moan escapes your lips causing levi to pull out and spraying white across your face. levi’s breaths are heavy as his jaw clenches. you look up at his face, eyes closed and cheeks slightly pink. zeke’s takes the moment of you zoned out to his advantage, pulling your head back using your hair. you moaned out, as he drilled into you. the thing that pushed you over the edge was when he ran sped his fingers up on your clit. you spasmed around him, leaning your head on the seat in front of you between levi’s legs.
zeke drowned in the feeling of your clenching cunt. pulling out and painting the back of your thighs with ribbons of his cum. the carriage was quiet again. the only sounds were your laboured breaths until zeke’s rough voice broke the silence.
“again? captain?”
“definitely.”
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jjk; angel’s trumpet [01]
summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, mentions of smut in future chapters w.c; 2.7k a/n; after spending an entirety of june on this fic im proud to release it! this story is based on the prompt “I’m losing my mind!” for @btsghostiewritersnet BGW Bingo Bash! I hope you all enjoy this mini series and stay tuned for this wild ride
[01] [02] -> masterpost
“Just give it up!” Jungkook snaps, and you flinch at the sudden raise in voice level. Jungkook is a soft spoken person, only really having the audacity to speak up at the strength of his friends or when his body burns with attention after a performance. The fact that he chooses to use this tone around you, gets you seeing white hot.
“How can I give up something that hasn’t even started?” you shoot back just as stubbornly. He won’t even let you in his room, and it pains you that he wants to fight out in the hallway where anyone could walk in and see. You glare at the heavy arms that bar your way inside, as if he’s creating a barrier for you, both emotionally and physically.
You hate this. For the past three months you’ve hated this version of yourself, manifested between the strained relationship of you and Jungkook. It pains you to see each other like this. Jungkook’s ears are tinged red with fever, simultaneously a little sick and a little annoyed at the fact that you wouldn’t let up.
It wasn’t always mismatched stares and bouts of mixed signals whenever you two entered a room. There was a time when it being in each other’s presence was like a breath of fresh air, a bakery full of nothing but sweets and mouth-watering confections. That’s not to say that your relationship with Jungkook was, or is easy. After all, Jungkook chose a life that is never meant to be easy, no matter how far deep.
But at the crux of everything, deep in your gut, you know that the both of you have that spark.
“We can’t be together.” Jungkook states simply, pressing his coral lips together in a thin line. “My career! The traveling, the media, my crazy schedule, all of this, it doesn’t match.”
It doesn’t match. Like the way a toddler puts a triangle block in a square space. In your opinion Jungkook is pointing out shallow, baseless reasons. You’ve gotten this far together, not quite addressing any officiality but leading to it. If all of his reasons really mattered, you wouldn’t be here right now. Unfortunately, Jungkook’s deciding to cut the line when the two of you have already sunk so deep.
You’re both hurting, Jungkook doesn’t want to admit that.
“But that doesn’t matter to me!” you reason, and you’re crumbling. Jungkook was once a fighter, too. Today, it feels like it’s just you who’s taking a stand, grappling on thin slices of thread that resemble what little confidence Jungkook has in the both of you. “I want to keep you grounded. I want to be the person you come home to.”
Jungkook’s face reaches the final boss: a frustrating shade of scarlet, stunned at how shameless you are. You didn’t care, you know what you and Jungkook feel for each other is real.
In a fit of emotion your hands reach for the crook of his elbow, grappling the black fabric between your fingers. It’s enough to ignite heat in your veins, starved of touch from so many nights apart and text messages that weren’t enough to convey how you truly felt.
Jungkook’s eyes drag from your grip to your face, eyes glimmering. You look so small in the large hallway, empty and echoing between both your heaving breaths. There’s acute control in his expression, as if he’s grappling to reach both an inner and outer peace with himself.
You bite your lip, sealing away your whimper of protest as he takes his hand in yours, untacking your grip. He’s not rough, but not gentle either as your hand pendulums to your lap.
He turns his back to you, and for the first time you’re glad he looks away because the tears have already fallen. “Maybe in another world, we’d work out. But not this one.” Jungkook whispers, slamming the door to his studio.
•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••
“Baby, it’s okay! You’ll find a new person to love!” The neverending flow of liquor and poetics is provided by none other than Sehlyung, a fellow employee you befriended after you got hired as a language teacher.
You barely register Sehlyung’s hopeful smile through your misty eyes. Feeling bloated with liquid and far too tired to reply, you bob your head against the bar table.
Sehlyung is the epitome of a fun time, and the first person you thought of to help quell your aching heart. A relationship that first started off as snide jokes and offhanded work qualms that eventually turned into a deep understanding and care for each other. After a long day of work she pulled through for you, showing up at the bar like a warrior in emerald green pencil slacks and an untucked blouse. At the edge of the bar she absentmindedly winds a lock of pale curly hair, sipping languidly from her electric blue beverage.
“Listen, I get it. You think it’s the end of the world because Jungkook seems like the perfect catch—” the pretty blonde pauses when she notices your lip tremble, “but! He’s not that perfect, y’know. He—he sweats, sweats a lot, it’s like he’s freakin’ Niagara! It takes forever to get outfits on him in-between sets, it’s like clothing a wet noodle.”
You choke back a laugh, shaking your head. “That is one flaw.”
“A-and he’s very,” she starts waving her hands around, plucking the answer out of thin air, “competitive? Remember that one time Nabi said he couldn’t finish that whole loaf of milk bread? And then he accidentally ended up eating the parchment paper?”
That has you in a fit of giggles, recalling how scared he was when his urge to make Nabi regret her words bit him right back in the butt. The hospital’s personal phone became number 8 on his speed dial shortly after.
A fond, tentative smile melts on Sehlyung’s lips. At least you had it in in you to laugh, which Sehlyung knows is a good sign. She runs her fingers over your hair, forehead damp from your previous wallowing and overconsumption. ”You’re gonna find yourself a simple, wholesome partner! One who’s top-tier normie and will have all the time in the world for you!”
You grimace at the thought, despite how uplifting that sounds. You once thought that was the only life for you, a nuclear family with two point five kids (the half point being a puppy, of course.) While you wouldn’t mind that kind of life, after meeting Jungkook you decided long ago that all you ever needed in a relationship was his company and combined happiness.
“Time isn’t the issue,” you slur, voice warped from how your lips fall tiredly against your arm. “This issue is that he doesn’t want to try.”
Sehlyung doesn’t say anything to that, but instead prefers to pour you another glass of liquid despair. Of course, she knew how Jungkook got. Sweet and caring, but headstrong, letting nothing get in the way of his music.
Evidently, you’re one of those things.
“Boys are dumb,” she says simply, swinging her head back.
“I’ll be okay,” you murmur, “it just hurts. There’s no closure, y’know? I feel it, I feel so much love for him. And I know he feels, he feels something.”
Sehlyung bites her lip, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey, I got you a gift.”
That gets you to perk up, your head tipping a miniscule degree. She pulls out a glass, filled with a clear liquid. It’s small, almost vial-shaped, enough for barely two shots. Inside, there’s a young flower shaped like a bellsprout.
“It’s angel wine,” she chirps, pulling your shot glass to give you a hearty pour. “The old lady was selling it when I was getting my mom her ginger wine.”
“Hm, is it like ginseng?” you ask curiously, grabbing the now half-empty bottle where the wet flower sat. The bell shape, despite being bloated with residual wine, still clung vibrantly to the glass. The bumblebee yellow and sunset orange tint looking absolutely mesmerizing. However, you’ve never seen an infused liquor quite like this.
“Think so,” Sehlyung shrugs, “I’m sure you’ll like it though! I told her about how you got dumped and she said you’d need this to cap off your night!”
She snatches the bottle from your hands, making sure it’s sealed tight before slipping into your purse. “That wine’s special, baby,” she winks, “save it for yourself when you get home, alright?”
“Gee, Lyungie,” you deadpan, swirling the fragrant liquid, “I’m so glad my boy drama is spreading to your wine dealer.”
Your friend holds her own drink in a toast, urging you to drink up. You don’t need to be told twice, the floral liquid going down surprisingly smooth. It’s sweet, and your whole body tingles. It’s like the feeling of being outside, and the sun shines over your exposed skin like a warm kiss. For a brief moment, you feel like you’re seeing pink and orange, blissfully satiated.
“Mm,” you hum, licking your lips in hopes the feeling will return to you, “that’s some good stuff, got anymore?”
Sehlyung scoffs, only mildly jealous that you get that particular drink all to yourself. “I wish. An arm and a leg cost me that, my hometown is very far!”
The rest of the night is a haze, a comfortable one. Sehlyung goes off about Namjoon and his countless wardrobe malfunctions, keeping her from going home on time one way too many nights. You talk about how you’re getting into real progress with Soobin’s English, and how he doesn’t complain his head hurts when he speaks in full sentences. Hopefully he isn’t too mad when you send him a pop quiz next Tuesday.
Sehlyung’s cab drops you off first, and she bids you a hug and kiss goodbye. She tells you to come a little early before your first class, because she wants to redesign Seokjin’s blazer for a new shoot and she wants you to pick out the best crystals.
You know she just wants to show off and that your opinion is minimal because most of the decisions are made weeks before, but the gesture is appreciated. From Sehlyung’s knowing gaze, you have a feeling that she’s also doing this because she wants to keep you at arm’s length for as long as possible.
The cab zips away first, leaving you in front of your apartment complex. You’re teetering on your heels like an infant, and you’re surprised that you managed to fake-sober this far into the night.
Speaking of. It’s beautiful outside. With a tired sigh, you wrap yourself further into your burgundy knitted scarf, begging for warmth. You feel a fresh bout of tears surfacing as you look onto the pale yellow moon, shrouded by thick ghosty clouds among the starless sky. You wonder if Jungkook is looking at the same moon, thinking the same thing.
You shake your head and wipe your tears, absolving you of that romantic notion. Jungkook hasn’t had the time to look at the stars in so long. You imagine he’s probably either working or sleeping soundly in his bunk, completely oblivious of the semi-depressing night you’ve had. You don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that Jungkook doesn’t have the opportunity to dwell on feelings for too long.
The midnight sky starts to flicker, as if night and day are competing for dominance. Either that, or it’s really late in the night and early in the day. Your vision starts to blur, and you wonder if the secretary at the front desk would be so kind as to help you up to your apartment. It’s embarrassing, but it’s better than you cracking your skull open in the middle of the hallway where anyone can find you. You clutch your head, bemoaning on how much alcohol must be running through your blood if you’re hallucinating this much.
Wiping your bleary face, you dig into your purse for your keys. Upon pulling out the key your favorite lip balm rolls onto the street. A little part of you feels like leaving it behind so you can get to bed, but it’s your favorite one and you are so close to finishing it. Muttering a curse at the thought of bending down at the possibility of you vomiting in public, you quickly scramble to the ground. Your knees buck at the pavement, tiny stones digging into your skin. Focusing your gaze on the pink and blue plastic, you reach for the glittery tube.
Unfortunately, you’re not quick enough to notice the moving truck swerve the corner and skid towards your body.
•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••
The first thing you notice is that it’s unbearably bright. Like when you vegetate in a dark classroom watching a movie, and the teacher suddenly flips the lights on without warning and your brain panics from the shock.
You’re also painfully sober, as if you didn’t have a liquor-based dinner. Your bladder doesn’t feel like a small child is sitting on it, and you’re wide awake.
Someone’s yelling at you, their voice shrill from emotion yet gravely from the early morning. Suddenly there’s a whip of hot air against your hair and a harsh skid as the smell of tire on gravel fills your nose. You’re on sensory overload, and you don’t have the capacity to care about your surroundings.
This is probably the third time you have to mentally repeat to yourself that it’s daytime, the sun shining brightly on your fallen form. Your body is splayed out in a half-starfish position, and you quickly close your legs in fear of someone seeing up your skirt. You put up a hand to cover your face, and it’s instantly snatched up by a larger one.
“Hey, hey! Are you okay? I know I turned the corner pretty fast, but you shouldn’t be standing in the middle of the street like that!” the person calling you sounds frantic, frustrated at your lack of response.
Your eyes flicker to the small jet black cruiser strewn across the sidewalk, haphazardly parked. Fingers curling around the person’s hand, you look up at their face and scream.
It’s now their turn to collapse on the floor, eyes wide and terrified. Their soft black hair is fluffy and sweaty from using their helmet, now rolling away from their grip.
“What?” he screams back, as if there’s something on his face. His hand whips up to clutch his collar, undoing the top button because he’s starting to sweat profusely. “Are you really injured? Do I need to call an ambulance or something—”
“Jungkook!” you cry, ripping the woolen scarf from your neck to wrap it around the top half of his face. You scramble between his legs, making sure his piercings, tattoos and any other identifiable part of his body is concealed. You don’t even think about your fight from last night, knowing that it’s miniscule in comparison to Jungkook being swarmed by PR. “Kook, what the fuck? It’s broad daylight, you can’t be out like this without a mask! Where on earth did you hide that bike? Why—are you wearing fucking pastel green? Since when have you added color to your wardrobe?” the boy noticeably pauses at the attention to his outfit, tensing under your ministrations. “Dispatch will have your ass and the devil Min Yoongi’ll kill you again for sneaking out—”
It’s then that Jungkook snaps, two strong arms pushing you away like paper. You don’t expect Jungkook to ever lay a hand on you, and with a surprised yelp you’re painfully shoved onto the pavement.
“Get off of me!” he cries, and throws your scarf on your lap. “Who the hell are you and why do you know my name?”
He’s scared, holding his helmet like you’ve burned him. His doe eyes are glistening and dewy, as if you’re someone he should be running away from.
“Jungkook—” and as you hold out your hand to him, you realize.
I’m losing my mind, you think, clutching your head to double-check no injury has come to your brain. His hair is much, much longer. It waves and falls into his eyes, as if he’s just gotten out of bed. He’s wearing a backpack, and you notice some crumpled post-its sticking out of the zipper. Clipped around his neck is a university ID. Heck, he isn’t even wearing an outfit you recognize. Gone are the cargos and oversized sweats, replaced with professionally tapered dress pants and a plain polo.
Is... is Jungkook wearing khakis?
It’s daylight, you’re sober, and the Jungkook that’s standing in front of you is not your Jungkook.
#jungkook fic#jungkook fluff#goldenclosetnet#thekpopnetwork#btsghostiebingo#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#bts fic#bts fluff#jungkook scenarios
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ALRIGHT
here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:
(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)
SEASON ONE
sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!
her assistants are jon, tim, and martin
tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)
sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.
“tim……………………..did you die here?”
“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”
cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.
until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there
jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine
i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD
sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.
sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.
SEASON TWO
sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her
she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)
jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)
sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.
she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon
eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).
jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.
fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho
he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch
she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance
wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens
SEASON THREE:
uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story
(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)
sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.
helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.
sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!
back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!
tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped
(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.
once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point
anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked
tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim��s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man
so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.
tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad
the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes
instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.
hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.
[squishing spider noises]
SEASON FOUR:
martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.
sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up
(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)
meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name
sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!
(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)
melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)
tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.
gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?
instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”
they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF
idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3
“ah these are the statements.”
“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”
“.........Hello Sasha.”
(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)
SEASON FIVE:
“just. listen.”
“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”
sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).
helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3
oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)
not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3
i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!
#WOO tumblr hates formatting huh#anyways. i wrote this all out in like an hour a few weeks ago#but said fuck it! lets post#my posts#sasha#sasha james#tma#the magnus archives#tma fanfic#is it rlly fanfic? i guess#tma headcanons#jon sims#jonathan sims#the archivist#tim stoker#martin blackwood#tma s5#tma s5 spoilers#ALSO NEW EPISODE THIS WEEK WHAT THE FUCK...life is wacky#sarchivist#sasha archivist
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im not editnig this because its 1 am and i have to work tomorrow suffice to say it almost certainly got errors
i would call this emotional h/c ish territory. people having messy problems but coming out of it okay. alfonse dealing/not dealing with his hel curse. al and zash dealing with the fact that no one wrote him lettterrrrrrssss. no one was more surprised than me to find this one ends positively
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Alfonse Gustavsvin, First Sword of the Order of Heroes and Crown Prince of the Kingdom of Askr has made some serious mistakes in his life.
Not the kind of mistakes his father would have called mistakes. Not the little things he’d once dragged himself over the coals for. Those things that Kiran calls “healing” to forget.
No, he’s his own man now, or at least he’s trying to be, and in that vein he can admit that he, himself, has made mistakes. Little ones, like sneaking away to practice, when he should have been balancing books, and causing a few hours headache for Anna when she had to do it late at night. Normal ones, like letting Kiran fly the Aether castle. He’s even made some big ones.
He’s not sure what category to class forgetting to tell Zacharias about that tiny small thing with Hel and all that.
He doesn’t even realize he’s made said mistake until he’s face to face with Zacharias again, and Zash is bleeding from a nasty cut on his head, and his shirt is torn and he’s sweating and wincing and grabbing a rib and begging the Order to help his sister-
That’s when it hits. He didn’t tell Zacharias. By the level of desperation in his voice, no one had.
Alfonse finds he doesn’t curse very often unless its around Zacharias, and he really has to work hard at it then, because, well, shit.
He tries to break the news as diplomatically as he can.
He can recognize Zacharias by his lance work alone.
He doesn’t need to see Zacharias’ eyes to read heartbreak.
-
He’s not surprised that Zacharias doesn't seek out the healers that night. He’s seen the what Bunrun- Spring Bruno can do with a staff. Fuck. Another thing Zacharias doesn’t know.
Focus on breaking the news about an amnesiac bunny summon version of him later.
Death first.
Zacharias sits, peculiarly still, as far away from camp as he can get. The cut on his head looks better than it had looked, which is nonetheless worse than it ought to. He doesn’t touch Zacharias. He believes him about the curse, really, he does, even if often his heart doesn’t want to. Wants him back.
“I’m sorry,” he says, because if there’s one thing thinking you were gonna die in nine days did for you, it was help you be a little less equivocating. “I should have told you.”
“You were busy,” Zacharias says, simply, without looking over at him. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
You were busy, meaning, someone had told him the whole story before Alfonse had got to him. You were busy,meaning, Zacharias is always making up a narrative in his head. There’s nothing to apologize for, meaning, inevitably Zash is writing himself out of that narrative. Again.
Alfonse sighs.
“What were you told?” he says, in lieu of anything better.
“It matters not.” Zacharias goes to rise. “I must-”
“Sit down, Zach,” he says, maybe with more force and less weariness than he thought, because Zacharias does immediately. He almost looks surprised. It would be funny, if Alfonse wasn’t so tired.
“When all this is over,” he says, without thinking, “I’m going with you.”
Zacharias turns and stares at Alfonse through his mask for a long, long moment.
“What?”
He can’t match his stare. Not with the mask on. Not when something that hurts and stretches is unfolding itself, like a spine clicking.
So he doesn’t. The heavy night is deep. It looks endless, but only because its so dark. There’s no way to see a beginning, so there’s certainly no way to see an end.
Zacharias makes a huffing sound. “You can’t come with me. Alfonse, you can’t, I- the curse alone.”
“Nine days.” The voice doesn’t sound like his own. “Nine days.”
Zacharias falls silent. Alfonse feels silent, too, except he’s talking, so he can’t be. He’s moving his hands, so he must still be here.
“I didn’t want to see you,” he says. “So I didn’t tell you.”
Fool that he is, he doesn’t realize its true until he’s saying it. Until its real and invisible in the night air.
Zacharias sucks in a breath, but doesn’t say anything.
“I wanted to think,” he continues, “that I didn’t want you to see me like that. But it’s not true, is it? I didn’t want to see you, to see you and know you were-”
He cuts himself off when he realizes what he means to say. But, there are mistakes, and then there are mistakes.
And he misses his friend.
“…right,” he finishes. “Curses can be solved by death.”
“I know,” Zacharias says, after a beat. His tone is calm, even. “I’ve known that for some time. You know I believe that. So, then… what’s truly troubling you?”
“It’s funny, right?” That’s answer enough, right? “Nine days and all I could think about was how I didn’t want you to show me up.”
“Mm hm,” Zacharias mms. “And the truth, this time?”
Alfonse snorts. “What makes you think that’s not?”
If Zacharias cracks a smile, Alfonse chooses not to notice it out of the corner of his eye. None of this is funny.
“You’re clenching your left hand, where you usually hold your shield. I thought you’d broken that tell?”
He does laugh at that. His laugh doesn’t sound right. It sounds hurt. Why is he the hurt one?
“This isn’t… this isn’t funny,” he tries.
He’s not prepared for Zacharias to lightly reach out to touch his face. He’s not prepared to notice, suddenly, the tears that have begun making their way from his own eyes. He’s not prepared for feeling like someone has shoved Fólkvangr through his heart.
“I don’t understand,” he says. “Why am I… why am I crying?”
“Oh, Alse,” Zacharias says, and then nothing else. He’s too busy pulling Alfonse into his arms, hugging him tightly, pulling his head close and holding him.
Alfonse doesn’t know why he’s crying. He doesn’t know why he can’t stop.
“I don’t… I don’t...”
Zacharias doesn’t say anything. Not when Alfonse starts making choking ugly crying sounds, not when Kiran and Sharena show up in a panic and he waves them off. Not when Alfonse finally beings to quiet into something he can pretend isn’t weeping.
Zacharias is quiet for a long, long time, until there is only the sounds of distant camp, and restless insects.
“Did you kill it?”
It takes Alfonse a moment to realize where he is, that someone is speaking, that it’s Zacharias who’s speaking.
“Hel?” he adds.
Alfonse carefully works his way out of Zacharias’ arms. It’s so cold in the night, but… “I… yes.”
“Good.”
Mistakes he’s made, that he keeps on making. He wishes he could go back. It’s so cold in the night.
“We were supposed to be together. It was supposed to be Embla, supposed to be together-”
“Aren’t we?”
The interruption throws Alfonse for a second. He swivels to look at Zacharias. Masked as always. And yet, Alfonse can feel Zacharias’ eyes on him.
“Aren’t we what?”
“Together. You and I. You’re here. I’m here. We’re here. That counts, doesn’t it?”
It’s like the earlier not-crying has wrung all the words out of him. “I...”
“I’ve learned a lot, being away,” Zacharias says. He looks back out across the night. “Very little has been useful, I think. Some of it, though… Does it matter?”
He turns back to face Alfonse abruptly. “Does it matter? That you didn’t tell me? I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t. I’m so ill of it, so… does it matter? Can I choose to let it go?”
“I...” Alfonse doesn’t like feeling dizzy. Doesn't like feeling cold. Wishes someone was hugging him again. Wishes it was Zacharias. “It’s not that simple, I…”
“There’s too much complicated in the world, Alse. There’s so, so much of it. I… know not what deserve is, or what right is, but I find myself wanting to ask all the same: can we be simple again? Let’s be easy. Let’s let it all go and just…”
“I didn’t write you.”
“And I wasn’t there,” he counters. “And next time, something will happen and you’ll run off without me and it will be the end of the world, and I won’t be there and you didn’t tell me. You hurt, I hurt, none of it’s our fault. So hang it all. It’s been a decade. If neither of us is going to change, do you really think our feelings will?”
“I thought I was going to die,” Alfonse says. His voice sounds small. He can’t bring himself to hate it. “I thought I would never see you again. So I though it would be easier to just accept it.”
“That doesn’t sound like a man who stood in a bunny costume and promised to kill a god for me, now does it.”
A spark of an emotion that’s not empty despair.
“This- this isn’t funny!”
Zacharias smiles a bit. “Apologies. My sense of humor has been warped by the voice in my head, you know, the one that regularly demands I disembowel everyone I’ve ever loved.”
He can’t stand this cold. “Hold me, please.”
And Zacharias does, without a pause.
He falls into a running a hand through Alfonse’s hair. It’s soothing, in a way Alfonse hasn’t felt in a long time.
Maybe ever.
“It truly isn’t that simple, is it?”
Zacharias talks to the open air. Alfonse doesn’t want to leave the warm he’s found in order to look at him, so he doesn’t.
“No,” he agrees. “It isn’t.”
“I’m sorry,” Zacharias says. His hand doesn’t falter in Alfonse’s hair. “I’m sorry I can’t be there.”
“Me too.”
That’s pretty simple, Alfonse thinks as they sit there. Two people, being sorry that they can’t properly care for the person they care about. None of it really their fault at the end of the day.
“Alright,” he says, suddenly. “We’ll let it go.”
“Mm?”
He leans up. He untangles himself.
“You’re right,” he repeats. “I promised we’d kill gods together. But, if we’re going to be defiant, well… oughtn’t we do it right?”
Zacharias tilts his head. “What?”
“I was so afraid,” he says, simply. “No more. Damn the gods. I chose you.”
Zacharias’ smile flickers, then settles into something softer and more familiar. “And if we fail?”
“Hm.” Alfonse settles back into Zacharias arms, it feels different, somehow. Less like running. “Well, we’re still young, you and I. Plenty of time to make some interesting mistakes.”
At that, Zacharias genuinely laughs, and then relaxes. He goes back to fiddling with Alfonse’s hair, and, frankly-
Frankly, he’s had a shit day, but in that moment he’s never felt better.
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So I was on your fandom blog and I saw that you believe Bakugou (at least in assuming) to have ASPD. Is wondering if you could expand on that? I personally see him as NPD but I'd love to hear your side of things
first off anon bless u for being on my fandom blog that takes courage cause it’s a wicked hot mess over there lol and secondly to everyone else yes im about to spend an embarrassing amount of effort overanalyzing an anime man, no u shouldn’t apply this logic to diagnosing real people u don’t know or urself, no its not that deep but yes u can fuck right off if u wanna cry about me headcanoning ur favs with “shitty” illnesses. eat my dick.
But now down to the good shit! So I actually think bakugou has comorbid aspd/npd. But for this since u said u already see him as having npd I’ll just focus on the aspd criteria but im totally down to talk more about npd as well if u wanna. (the rest is under a cut because frankly mobile users would have drawn and quartered me otherwise)
So first im gonna go thru the dsm v criteria that are required for diagnosis that bakugou fits/exhibits (leaving out the few things that don’t pertain to him just for length and also because not every person has to fit every single criteria to qualify)
1. Significant impairments in personality as manifested by
a. identity (self esteem derived from power, pleasure, or personal gain), self direction (goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial standards and culturally normal ethical behavior)
katsukis entire sense of self is built upon his ability to “win” and to always be number one and come out on top. He absolutely cant stand to be viewed as less than that because if so, his entire sense of self begins to crumble. Part of the reason he’s so antagonistic towards Izuku in the early chapters is the fact that Izuku challenges that identity. He (unintentionally and intentionally) challenges katsuki and wont give way to him (which is the right thing to do, but we see how “well” katsuki handles that). He also doesn’t have a good sense of “prosocial standards.” katsuki has created his own internal sense of morals and values, he’s decided whats worth his time and effort based on his own opinions and not on what society deems worthwhile behavior. He’s constantly getting admonished that his attitude “isn’t that of a hero” because his values are different than the ones of the society around him. But he doesn’t care, as long as he “wins” then everythings good. And its not until he stops “winning” and his behavior begins to get in the way of his goals does he begin to realize that he has a problem.
b. impairments in interpersonal functioning as manifested by lack of empathy (lack of concern for feelings, needs, or suffering of others) and lack of intimacy (incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, use of dominance or intimidation to control others)
I could frankly write a whole essay about just this bit alone but I’ll try to condense my thoughts. So. Lets talk about katsukis lack of empathy. This boy wouldn’t know another person’s emotions if they walked up and punched him in the face. Which they do. On multiple occasions. But I digress. Katsuki is known for his shitty bedside manner, his lack of concern for the feelings of others is literally what cost him his provisional license, but aside from with Izuku (who we’ve established is a source of Baggage for katsuki and shouldn’t be counted among his normal behavior because at the start of the series they BOTH bring out the worst in one another and overcoming that is part of both of their character arcs and growth and a main theme of the damn story. Win and save. Save and win. Ahem. But again I digress) katsuki isn’t vindictive or cruel in an unnecessary way about other peoples emotions. He doesn’t use them against people, it just doesn’t occur to him that they exist. But as we see katsuki grow and begin to try and change his unhealthy behavior, we see that he’s not oblivious of others emotions in the same way todoroki is (who I headcanon as autistic along with izuku (who also has adhd), but that’s a whole nother post lol), he just doesn’t know what to do with them. He can handle things like kirishima feeling insecure, because he can logically talk to him about how strong he is to encourage and support him, but really struggles with more intimate and open forms of emotional support, like with Izuku.
He also struggles with forming prosocial bonds and friends. At the start of the series katsuki doesn’t have friends, he has lackeys he controls with intimidation and fear because he doesn’t know any other way to be. He has trust and intimacy issues and doesn’t like people getting too close to him because he feels displays of vulnerability are what makes someone weak (see those asocial morals and values we talked about earlier). After his time at UA, a few large helpings of some humble pie, and the diligent and hard work of a small group of fearless idiots (aka kaminari whose literally too prosocial for his own good and has zero self preservation instincts, and kirishima who has an endless supply of patience and understands empathy and other peoples emotions to a degree that’s baffling to me) he is able to start deconstructing that idea and realizing that u can be vulnerable and let people close to u and still be strong. That the mortifying ordeal of being known isn’t actually the worst things ever. Also that when confronted with people who aren’t actually afraid of him, he doesn’t know how else to deter them from getting close to him. The fact that none of the other kids in 1-A take katsukis shit and even go so far as to pick on him and mock him and call him out on his bullshit is a MAJOR turning point for his socialization skills.
2. pathological personality traits in the following catagories
a. antagonism, characterized by hostility (persistent and frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights or insults, nasty mean vengeful behavior), callousness (lack of concern for the feelings and problems of others)
I mean. Do I even have to expand on this point? I feel like no
b. disinhibition, characterized by impulsivity (acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting without a plan or consideration for outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans), risk taking (lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger, engaging in potentially risky and self-damaging activities without regard for consequences)
this is a criteria where u have to adjust for the world these characters are living in. but even then, by hero standards, katsuki is still impulsive. His teachers are constantly admonishing him in the early series for charging headfirst into a situation, loosing himself to his emotions and anger, and letting things get the better of him because hes not taking the time to properly assess the situation, this also bleeds into katsukis inability to work with others or ask for help. He charges headfirst into a situation by himself, blows up anything in his way, and then asks questions later. His teammates are often left totally in the dark to his plans, motives, or other moves and have to just play catch up to him the entire time. In the deku vs. kacchan 1 fight we see this behavior come out in full force. He has no plan, he blows up half the building with zero regard for their goals, and leaves iida completely in the dark. Momo pointing this all out and dragging him for filth during the recap is another wakeup moment for him, having to confront the realities of his impulsive and negative behavior whereas before he was only praised for it.
so if we take a look at even just that, which is still about ¾ of the diagnostic criteria, I think u can see where this really starts to explain his personality. Katsuki is hot headed, angry, impulsive, stubborn, selfish, he gets in his own way more often than not, he struggles with prosocial behavior, making friends, and relating emotionally to others. He has a hard time comforting people and usually does so in a blunt and logical way, he isn’t great at sympathy and being soft, kind, or gentle with other people. It takes a considerable amount of effort for him to realize where his world view and his morals and goals are warped and doing him more harm than good, and he absolutely cant stand to be vulnerable or honest about his feelings with others.
All those things, imo, as someone with aspd & npd, are what make me feel like hes a good character representation of what the complexities of living with these disorders is like. Katsuki isn’t inherently a bad person, and as we see him grow and change, we see the ways in which hes becoming better, but its still hard for him. And despite what a lot of fandom thinks, if u look at the canon, the main person katsuki hurts with his behavior is himself. And I think that’s really important because people with aspd & npd are so often catagorized as abusive villians whose only goal in life is to hurt others. Whereas with katsuki we see where these things and this kind of thinking gets in the way of his goals and ultimately hurts him. and thats what I think makes him the most relatable and makes his growth all the much more satisfying. Katsuki is both fundamentally the same and an entirely different person from when we first meet him. his personality didn���t magically completely change, hes not just a tsundere whose suddenly all mushy feely and hyper empathetic, he’s just learning how to deal with his emotions and the world and getting better at being a healthy person.
So yea, those are my thoughts! There was apparently a whole 1600 words of them so my apologies for writing u a literal dissertation on this lol I just really love this fucking character
#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugou headcanons#bakugou katsuki headcanons#bnha headcanons#jack.speaks#anon#god i really did write a novel#im almost ashamed#almost
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HNK chapter 80 thoughts + analysis
I’ve been marinating on this chapter for a few days, and I have some things in mind for it that I’d like to talk about.
This is just my take on things, and how I’ve interpreted them: mostly phos, aechmea, cairngorm, a tad bit of dia, and my thoughts on the fate of the series.
Warning for: talk of suicide, spoilers.
so I have a few very specific things I want to cover: Phos, Aechmea, Cairngorm, Dia, and the fate of the series.
We’ll start with Phos.
Personally, one of the biggest draws and attachments for hnk was phos’s transition from a sweet, naive gem to a depressed, anxious, horrifically warped individual. There’s not a lot of series out there where you can actually see a character become changed so drastically in such an intricate manner. I find character development, as a whole, to be extremely interesting.
Phos’s transition has been building up for the entire series. They kept growing stronger, learned more- but continued to fail over and over again. They tried to make an encyclopedia, and failed. They tried to find a job for shinsa, and failed. They tried to help bring Ventricosus home and got betrayed and lost their legs. They tried to save antarc, and failed. Ghost was abducted trying to save them. They lost nearly all of their body. They couldn’t bring back the ground up gems. Their night raid was a failure and might’ve killed padpa.
They’ve had a few triumphs- becoming stronger (although I’m ultimately not sure how much good this led to), giving the gems on the moon potentially happier lives (?), and help uncover more of the truth of their world. The gem abductions have seemed to stop entirely. And cinnabar seems to have finally reintegrated back into gem society through their efforts.
Ultimately though, phos’s life has become full of constant efforts sustained on hope and bravery that almost always end in failure. At the end of the day, how could you not snap? How could you not become a self-doubting, depressed mess? In a world where everyone has given up on you in your efforts to stop the cycle of suffering, how could you not become the despair-filled person that Phos now is?
I hope they get a satisfying ending. Phos has been fucked over from the beginning. They’re far from perfect, but I believe the things that ultimately drive them are kindness and a desire to end this cycle of pain for everyone- and I think that’s important to keep in mind.
Now let’s go to Aechmea.
This man really is an absolute lying bastard, huh?
There’s no doubt about it- Aechmea straight up lied to EVERYONE about the fate of the other two societies (admirabilis and gems). Honestly, I’m not even sure the lunarians knew about it. I don’t think they did- he genuinely ran lunarian society on the operation that the gems and admirabilis would be around after they disappeared.
Aechmea gives no indication that the fact that adamant will pray away all remnants of humanity is new information. It serves in Aechmea’s favor that he doesn’t tell anyone, either. While there’s certainly a few gems who likely don’t mind this fate (yellow), i imagine the bulk of admirabilis and gems wouldn’t desire such a fate. And how would the lunarians feel, if they found out the gems and the admirabilis would go with them, especially now that gems and admirabilis have all been on the moon for at least several hundred years at this point?
Aechmea didn’t care if they took all the gem dust on the moon and tried to reform the gems. Aechmea didn’t harm any of the gems on the moon. He stopped abducting gems. He listened to their demands. Because ultimately, it didn’t matter! None of it mattered, because they’d all die alongside the lunarians anyways!
I suppose I can find sympathy in their reasons for wanting to cross over to the nothingness. But at the cost of two entire other species? At the cost of killing so many other living things who likely don’t want to die- who don’t even know the fate they’re getting? Is there really nothing else that can be done? You got any lunarian therapy up there?
Its a hard thing to discuss. Obviously I’ll never know the feeling of being given the ability to live for eternity. Could they have not chosen to build some sort of positive relationship with the admirabilis and the gems, rather than terrorize and use both of them for their own purposes?
It feels so selfish. I suppose that’s not surprising, given how selfishness is just part of being human- or the personality and essence of humanity, at least. While selflessness is good, we all need a little selfishness sometimes. We need to take time to ourselves and do things for our own goods, rather than contribute ourselves 100% to others and completely burn ourselves out. It seems lunarians (or at least Aechmea) have selfishness in spades, to the point of being utterly apathetic to the fate of gems and admirabilis.
Now onto Cairngorm.
They look terrified and horrified the entire chapter.
Cairngorm is certainly no stranger to the concept of death. They had suicidal thoughts during phos’s first 200 year coma (right after they’d lost their head), they brushed by death when their outer shell (Ghost) was ripped away from their body. They’ve outwardly expressed before how they want to go with Aechmea into the nothingness, and yet- here they are. Not excited, not happy, not anything near positive.
There’s a giant difference between saying “i will die with you/i want to die” and actually, genuinely embracing death. Its so easy to say something, but so much harder to actually do it, and I think this is when cairngorm is actually, fully realizing this.
I don’t know whether or not they’re suicidal anymore, but I imagine not. This is probably the happiest they have been in their entire life. Imagine finally overcoming the desire to die, to find a place that makes you so happy - and then to realize that you’re about to lose it all and become nothing.
If there was ever a time for cairngorm to go against aechmea, its now. If we ever have a moment where cairngorm realizes aechmea lied to them, where cairngorm is finally going to become their own person without being under the rule and command of anyone else, it is now.
Personally, I’m hoping they’ll somehow attempt to interfere and try and stop Phos, but I’ll cover this more when I talk about the fate of the series.
Now onto Dia! This is probably the most lighthearted part of the whole chapter.
They’ve finally shined under their own light.
This is going back waaaaaaay far into the manga (like chapter 3), but we’re finally seeing some sort of resolution to Dia’s desire to become good at their own thing, without always being second best to Bort.
I feel like Dia and Phos, at this point, had very similar feelings. Both felt insignificant and useless as a result of not being as good as a fighter as their societal expectations hold them to- leading to feelings of self doubt, and the desire to become better.
A lot of people have called Dia selfish, for wanting to go somewhere where there is no Bort. Perhaps, a little bit. However, I don’t think Bort was purposefully trying to ‘show off’ and show how much better than Dia they are. They seemed to just be doing it out of the desire to protect Dia. But ultimately, Dia still felt very second-best to them, despite the fact that Dia should’ve been one of the best themselves. Yet their partnership was suffocating for Dia, constantly under the shadow of Bort. It just simply wasn’t healthy.
But now Dia has found a thing where they’re able to shine under their own light- an idol!!! They seem really happy doing it. They have a whole crowd of adoring fans, too. (blows a kiss to the moon) this is for u dia u fuckin get em
Finally, onto the last point: The fate of houseki no kuni.
This really feels like we’re so close to the end, doesn’t it? But how close to that end are we? As most of us are aware, chapter 80 is just the first chapter in volume 10. So, I find it very hard to believe that Phos is going to be successful in this particular attempt to get sensei to pray. A maximum of 21 minutes is certainly not enough time to tie up all the loose plotlines. What happened to Yellow? To Padpa? How are the earth gems? What about all the stuff that was happening between Cinnabar and Phos? What about the professor? etc etc im probably missing a few things, but you get my point.
Personally, I think there’s either going to be a gem that wanders out and sees phos going apeshit, and manages to stop them. Or, we’re going to get interference from Cairngorm. Right now Cairngorm seems the most likely candidate, despite the fact that they aren’t physically there. (Boy, if they do that though, I’m afraid to see how aechmea will react.) But I don’t really find it hard to believe that one of the earth gems will wander out, unable or unwilling to sleep.
Phos, obviously, won’t stop. They haven’t stopped trying for hundreds of years, why would they stop now, unless somehow they also bypassed whatever was preventing sensei from telling them “hey, you’re gonna kill everyone so maybe chill out”. I find it unlikely Sensei would do anything, however. He’s seemed extremely passive towards the gems lately (the most violent he’s ever been towards them was when he yelled at original goshe and morganite and accidentally shattered phos in like.. chapter 1) and aechmea said it himself- he doesn’t seem to be resisting.
Ending it here feels so.. messy. I like to have a little bit more faith in Ichikawa as a writer. I’ve decided to trust her because she’s written a lot of other things extremely well. Maybe I’ll be putting on my clown wig in a few chapters, but we’ll see.
#houseki no kuni#hnk#land of the lustrous#phos#phosphophyllite#lotl#hnk analysis#hnk spoilers#hnk chapter 80#gaybe screams#this chapter had so much to unpack#i think i've talked about phos's transition like every analysis post but listen: i just think its neat#phos is one of the most interesting characters i've ever seen#personally speaking anyways
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Playing The Part
Fandom: The Hills Have Eyes Characters: Lizard, others mentioned Relationship: Lizard/reader Request: Hm, maybe following the typical she was kept from one of their wrecks, and being trapped. Maybe she had some sort of skill that provided something to the village, or she was one of the few to have a successful delivery and was kept alive? I'm not sure. Yes, but like full textbook Stockholm Syndrome. He would kill her if she weren't needed and convenient to him, and she starts to cling to his rare moments of tenderness thinking he loves her maybe? A.N: im have some ideas for a part two as well.
You couldn’t pinpoint the moment that you fell completely into the role you were playing. You couldn’t tell when your feelings went from pretend to real or when you genuinely started to believe that you really wanted this life. That you really wanted him. In that start, it was a game of survival. You played your part well, so well that even you began to believe it. You couldn’t remember much between standing at the gas station talking to the old owner to waking up in a dark room, your ankle tied to the bed.
---------------- flashback ----------------------
You were awaken by a pain in your head. The world around you felt like it was spinning and, for a moment, you thought you were just waking up from a bad night of drinking. But nothing felt the same. The bed was uncomfortable, the smell unpleasant and your skin felt grotty and dirty. Lulling your head to the side, you blinked, trying to focus your eyes. The room you were in was dull, with only the tattered old bed with no bedding on it which your ankles were bound to, a dresser unit and closet in the corner. You had little time to take in your surroundings as you heard heavy footsteps coming from the other side of the door. It swung open to reveal a large man who you later found out was called Pluto, followed by a skinner, smaller man, Lizard. Both were deformed, making you wince a little when you first saw them. Lizard stood at the door, waiting impatiently as Pluto unbound your legs. “C’mon.” Lizard snarled at Pluto, who huffed, pulling you to your feet and pushing you out of the room. You stumbled, barely able to comprehend what had happened as you were roughly guided through the hallway and down some stairs. At the bottom was a young looking girl, Ruby, watching you with wide eyes. Lizard pushed you down the last few steps, making you nearly fall into her. Pluto, protecting her, grabbed your arm and hauled you into the living area, where you met Jupiter. “First things first, we will kill you if you don’t do as we say, so don’t think of runnin’ or trying to fight us.” Jupitar grumbled as he, like the other two, towered over you. Nodding your head, you confirmed that you wouldn’t rebel. “Good. Look, we aint gonna hurt you if you’re useful.” Jupiter sat down on the edge of a chair, watching you carefully. Both Pluto and Lizard stood behind you, in an intimidating fashion. “How, how can I be useful?” you asked, your throat so dry that you had to start again. “Heard you’re good with cars. Got limited transport out here so we gotta keep on top of the cars we have. But the new ones are provin’ harder for us to fix. Plus, some medical knowledge would certainly be handy.” His eyes darted to Pluto, who you had noticed had a nasty infection in his eyes with a lot of puss. You assumed by the way his face and skull looked that he was deformed, but seemed to have a bit more swelling than normal. “How do…” you trailed off as you suddenly remembered the gas station owner. You had spoken to him for a bit and you told him about your medical background as well as your interest in cars. You had laughed with him, making a remark that a body is just a machine and can be fixed most of the time. Somehow, he was part of this. Somehow, he had told them about you and, somehow, that had kept you alive. “The human body is just like a car. It can be fixed if you know what you’re doing.” You nod to yourself, suddenly understanding exactly why you were here. Why you hadn’t been slaughtered. A voice whispered in the back of your mind. ‘play the part’. Keep yourself alive, play the role they want you to for now.
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And so you had. You had played your part well. So well that you had somehow managed to fool even yourself. As you fought to earn trust from each of the family, you found a sense of joy when you realized it was working. Pluto and Ruby had been the easiest since you had spent the most time with them at the start. You cleaned up Plutos right eye, ridding the infection and allowing him to see slightly out of it. At first, his size and stature had intimidated you the most, but you quickly realized that he was a gentle giant, only looking out for his family. Ruby followed you wherever you went, with strict orders to report if you escaped. But you ended up watching out for her more often than not. Like when she had stumbled and nearly fell. You had managed to grab her arm, saving her. She thanked you but you waved it off, not knowing Goggle had seen the whole thing and reported back to the family that you had saved Ruby. That certainly helped your status. Lizard, on the other hand, had kept you at arms length when he wasn’t pushing you out the way. He would sneer at you, often leaving a room when you entered. You had seen his anger in full swing and tried to keep out of the way of it, but something else drew you to him. It was almost like a challenge. Like when you find a stray dog that barks and bites at you, but you could see something other than a deranged dog. That was Lizard. At least to you. you started small, with baked goods. Ones which you would give to everyone just to ease him into your new presence within the family. Then you moved on to more direct ways of helping him. When you were dropping off a new radio at Jupiter request, you found Lizard passed out on the sofa. You had slowly managed to remove his gloves from his hands. They were tattered and wore with massive holes in them. Taking them back to yours, you sew the holes shut and washed them, so they were clean. When you took them back, you didn’t both trying to put them back on. You left them on the table as well as pull the blanket over him. Lizard never acknowledged what you had done, nor did he ever. Not when you had mended his trousers or tops, or when you had managed to fix his spikes. But he did allow you to get… closer to him. He would stay in the same room as you, and even listen to your rambling while you were doing something rather than just cutting you off with a cruel “I don’t care”. That didn’t mean he had gone soft. Once, when you had been trying to figure out if a car was working again, you had turned it on and taken it for a drive to test it. And you hit spikes. Once you had managed to stop the car, the door swung open and you were hauled out by your hair. A hand wrapped around your throat and instantly began to cut off your air flow. You clawed at Lizards hand, thrashing as you tried to free yourself. In a moment of desperation, you threw your elbow back, swiftly jabbing him in the face and causing him to stumble back. Lizard, now with a bloody nose, managed to regain his footing. In three long, powerful strides, he walked up to you and slapped you across your face, so hard it caused you to fall to the ground with a cry. “Jupiter asked me to fix it. How else can I tell if its done?! You want Pluto taking it out and it exploding or some shit!” You cried out, adrenaline pumping through your body as you realized exactly what had happened. You placed a hand over your now burning cheek. Daringly, you look up at Lizard who was trying to wipe the blood away from his nose. But he wasn’t coming after you anymore, which meant he knew you weren’t trying to escape. Or, at least, had good enough reason to be in the car. “Tilt your head back.” You mumbled, stumbling to your feet as you rubbed your cheek. You were quite proud in some strange way. You had certainly gotten your own back, even if Lizard had landed the final blow. At least you weren’t bleeding. But you knew you had to make the next move. There was no point keeping any grudge or letting this carry on, especially after how far you had come. Pulling off the cardigan, you approached him like you were approaching a wolf. You kept a close eye on his movements as his attention was fully on yours. Gently, you used the cardigan sleeve to wipe away the blood from around his warped lip. He watched you like a hawk. Suddenly, he grabbed a hold of your wrist, squeezing it so tightly that you winced. “I’ll kill you if you ever try to escape.” Lizard suddenly growled but something felt… off. He had threatened you a thousand times before with real hatred in his voice. But this time, he sounded like he was trying to convince you, or maybe himself. “Im sure you will.” You nod, not daring to doubt him despite the change. “But, if Im not trying to, I’ll argue my case. In any way I can.” You look up at him, right into his piercing blue eyes. The bleeding had stopped, but you used the opportunity to be this close to him physically to speak to him. It felt a lot more intimate and maybe that would drive home what you said. “I might listen.” He partly sneered, but again, it was different. It felt almost as if it were a friendly joke as he let go of your wrist. A smile spread across your features as you laughed a little, but the adrenaline of the situation plus the blazing heat of the dessert plus your empty stomach seemed to have truly taken its effect as your giggles turned to full on laugher as you stepped back. “Yer insane.” Lizard remarked, but a small smile twitched at his lips, as if he found it endearing or something. “Look whos talking.” You giggle as you start to walk towards the car, throwing the bloodied cardigan in the open door. You didn’t see Lizard looking after you, or how his eyes travelled down your body, lingering in certain areas. But something snapped your attention in the distance. “Shit.” You mumbled, backing towards Lizard who followed your line of sight. A car was travelling down the road. “At least you have some bait.” You try to lift your uneasiness at the situation. You never got involved with kills. Never. “Get up tah Goggle. Don’t fuckin’ run. Yah hear me?!” Lizard demanded as he grabbed your arm, shaking you slightly. “Yes.” You nod, your eyes darting to the wrecked car before Lizard let you go, allowing you to run into the hills. Of course, Goggle had alerted everyone and within 3 hours, it was all over. The event did open a new level in terms of your relationship with Lizard. You quickly found that you actually preferred his company out of everyone elses. He had a dark sense of humour which only you seemed to be able to bring out. And you loved that. As you gained more trust in the village and, in turn, gained more responsibilities. Big Brain still hated you, but after some sharp looks from Big Mama (who had taken to you after she saw how much the children, Pluto and Ruby adored you), he became quieter. Of course, he would mumble to himself every time you entered the room, but you started responding as if he were speaking to you in normal conversations. “Breakfast.” He sneered one morning when you had been looking for Big Mamas brush. “Good morning.” You called, chirpily. “Do you want the curtains open?” “Weak, filthy.” His eyes followed you round the room. “How about just the back ones. so you don’t get the sun in your eyes when it hits 11.” You nod to yourself as you briskly walk across the room and pull open the curtain. “Crazy.” He sneered. “I slept well, thank you.” You smile and nod, using the time to pretending that you were having a conversation with anyone who would actually cared. But slowly, over time, you noticed he stopped with the truly nasty names. He started making demands like “open those curtains” or “I want water”. You always fulfilled the requests because, despite his nasty personality, you did feel sorry for him. He was trapped in this little room, unable to do much. “What if we painted this room?” you suddenly asked one morning, looking around at the faded wallpaper. “Don’t care.” He sneered, a little too quickly for you. “Well, how about florescent pink?” You asked, smirking at him, getting an immediate and resounding “NO!”. But he thought about it when you left, and when you returned that evening, he said one word to you. “Blue.” “Im sorry?” You ask, having been in a world of your own. “Blue. Like the sky.” He tried to spit the words at you, to make it sound like he was berating you for not listening to him. But when you looked at him, he couldn’t hold your gaze. “Do you want the ceiling done as well?” you ask, genuinely happy he seemed to be responding well to you. He barley tolerated his own family, so this was a big step. “Yeah.” He wheezed seeming a lot more relaxed from them on. OF course, when you walked up to Jupiter who was standing talking with Lizard and Goggle and asked for blue paint, you got some strange looks. “Why the fuck you want that?” Lizard snapped, obviously in the middle of a heated discussion with his father and brother. “To decorate Big Brains room. He didn’t like florescent pink so blue it is.” You tell them. Goggle cackled at the idea of painting the room pink, and you were honestly scared that he would get his hands on pink paint and do it just to piss Big Brain off. But he didn’t. Within the week, you had done the room. You never got a thanks, but Big Brain showed you he was grateful in other ways. Like not interrupting or snapping at you. Of course, once he was on your side, there was a change. And you started to be included in the killing. First, you joined Goggle as look out. And became fascinated with something you shouldn’t be. Watching Lizard as he killed. There was something so strong and primal about it that made your insides turn. He was violent and you noticed he was worse when you were around. As he was trying to prove something. Goggle told his brother about how your eyes never left him. Somehow, he fell into a pattern of coming up to you after a kill, where his hands are bloody, and touching you. Normally on the cheek and just in passing, leaving blood smeared on your face. What was worse was that you wanted more. You started to crave that touch which you knew would happened. The first few times, you and winced and rushed away to clean it off, but then you started getting to obsessed with Lizard to notice till he had left. He had just killed someone with his bare hands, in the most violent ways, but he was gentle when he touched your cheek. Almost affectionate. The touches started to send shiver through your body as you craved him more than you had ever know possible. Then, Jupiter made an announcement. On the next kill, you were to accompany Ruby down to the wreck. She would normally scout things out, running around and figuring out who had what but not getting her hands dirty. You could do that. It was late, nearly midnight, when Goggle called in a car coming along the road. It was a race to get ready before the others and meeting them at the edge of town. As you all raced to the road, Lizard had grabbed your arm. “Don’t do anythin’ stupid or get in the way.” He hissed in your ear, squeezing your arm a little too tightly, but you nodded anyway. “Good. Aint worth losing your head over ‘em.” As if to emphasize his point, Lizard pulled out the gun, letting the moonlight catch the silver before following Jupiter and Pluto while you were left to Ruby. She showed you the places to hid and sneak between as she gathers her information. “Wait here.” She whispered to you before disappearing into the hills, leaving you behind the bolder. You kept peeking out, keeping an eye on the situation. 5 males, mid 20s and they smelt stoned out of their heads. It should be pretty easy for Lizard and Pluto. Of course, Lizard got to one of the guys quickly, making him cry out of Lizard wrapped the spikes he had gathered back from the road around the mans neck. The friends when into panic and that allowed Pluto to get in and grab one, dragging him over to Lizard who dropped the body of the first. Shots filled the air as Lizard shot two in the leg for attempting to run. So one was dead, the second with Pluto and the third and fourth injured. But the fifth ? You had blinked and he was gone. Stepping out from behind the bolder, you looked around wildly. He had been near you, on the road. Where had he gone? Shit. Then your eyes caught the movement and saw the guy scramble behind the rock on the other side of the road just past the car. That didn’t worry you. What worried you was the knife in his hand. Shit, you had to follow him. That’s what you were there to do, right? You moved towards the road, your only motive to find out where the guy had gone. What if he snuck around the rock? What if he was watching for someone? Ducking behind the car, you didn’t think the other two had noticed you. You should have called out where you were going, but you wanted to please the family. Three more gunshots filled the air as Lizard headshot each of them remaining ones. If you bought home a kill, or at least kept tabs on a victim, that would certainly do you a favour. It would impress them. It would impress Lizard. Then you saw the man run to the next rock, and you panicked. He was making his way around. Taking off in a sprint, you knew if he got into the gap in the hills, it would be hell to find in the low light with only the headlights of the car to work by. No, you had to keep close to him. A hand grabbed you by the hair and hauled you backwards. You let out a screech of pain, your hands flying up to try and free yourself. “Where yah goin’?” Lizards voice hissed in your ear and you felt your blood run cold. No, no, no, this was going to earn trust, not break it. Panting slightly, you could hear the anger in his voice. And he wasn’t one you could reason with easily. “I-I was going to help you.” You stammered, tears starting to prick your eyes. “Liar.” The voice condemned your statement and then you felt a sharp pain in the back of your knees. Lizard kicked your legs, making you collapse to the floor as he let go of your hair. A click made your heart stop as you look up. Lizard moved in front of you and stood over you, a gun pointed right at your forehead. He had stepped in front of you, blocked your view. You had to think quick. “You’ve only got one bullet left, and I’d suggest saving it for the guy hiding behind that rock.” You tried to keep your voice from shaking, but failed half was through your sentence. The barrel of the gun pressed against your forehead, the metal cold against your heated skin. “Liar.” Lizard snarled, his voice low as he glared down at you. But movement from behind him caught your attention. Glancing past him, you saw the man. Except, instead of running away, he was running toward you with a knife in his hand. Oh god. You realised that it looked like you were a victim, just like his friends. He was going to get Lizard while he was distracted with you. Oh god. You acted quick, so quick that you didn’t get a chance to think. Your instincts kicked and took over your body. With a quick slapped, you managed to knock the gun away from your head and you moved quickly upwards onto your feet. Grabbing the knife from Lizards belt, you used all the force from your quick movement to knock Lizard to the side just as the guy got within a foot of you both. Raising the knife, you brought it down and into the side of his neck. All this took place in the space of seconds as the man starts to splutter. The knife he had was dropped to the ground as he gasped for air. As if to finish the kill, you pulled the knife out of his neck and stumbled back. The full weight of what just happened hit you. You were now a killer. There was no going back. But you had killed to save Lizard. This was all just meant to be a game, an act to try survive. But then why did you feel a genuine concern for him that went beyond just feeling it, but to the point you would kill for him. Your mind raced as you forgot where you were. Until you felt a palm on your cheek. jumping, you saw Lizard standing in front of you, his eyes trained on your face while his hand moved over your right cheek. You felt his thumb brush under your eye, making you think he was just wiping away tears, but as his hand pulled back slightly, you saw blood. Some blood must had splattered on your face during the kill. Lizard stepped closer, his other hand coming up to grasp at the back of your neck as his front pressed against you. The thumb with the blood lowered to your lips and you felt him gently brush your bottom lip as he silently commanded something of you. Opening your mouth slightly, you allowed him to push his thumb past your lips to meet your tongue. Closing your lips around his thumb, you gently sucked and licked, cleaning it. Lizards eyes never left your own, but his mouth opened slightly and something much more primal stirred in both of you. Pulling his thumb back, he ran his hand in to your hair as he grabbed a handful and crashed his lips onto your own. Rough and dominating, you allowed yourself to completely submit to him in a selfish desire for something completely fucked up and insane. You… wanted him. kissing him back, you pressed against him, raising your hands to his chest as you grabbed fistfuls of his top. A soft snarl left his throat as he pulled away from your lips, simultaneously pulled your hair to tilt your head backwards. Ducking his head, Lizard slowly licked the side of your neck, where more blood must have splattered. Looked up at the stars above, you couldn’t help the coy smile at pulled at your lips. “I don’t mind it when you pull my hair like this.” You said, playfully, like the two of you were in some nightclub or bar, not standing beside a body. A body that had been forgotten about. You felt Lizard smirk against your neck and a soft chuckle left his lip. You didn’t know what you had gotten yourself in for, but the thrill of the moment silenced any doubts or worries you had.
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Visiting (Pt 7) (END)
@love-has-failed-me @impatentpending @friendlyfatherfigment @procrastinations-my-middle-name @despacitosanders @heyitsmeimjustkindahere @simplyskipper @ai-incarnate @aromanticandaromatic @vicdehart @readytobakebread @i-am-not-anon @lexilucacia @elementalshadowwitch @ssanderssides
Part 1 Part 6
Roman lifted his head to the sound of a knock at the door. He sniffed, his meltdown near its tail end.
"Come in." Virgil let himself in, creating a barrier between the hall and the room.
"Don't hate me, he's here for a reason."
Roman's stomach twisted.
"He's...?" He quickly averted his eyes as Deceit entered the room. He bunched his covers in an attempt to hide his tearstained face. "What's HE doing here?"
"I-," Deceit started.
"I didn't ask you!" Roman threw the blankets away from his face to glare at him.
"He's here to apologize." Virgil nudged Deceit toward the bed. "Right?"
Looking at Deceit then, Roman could tell something had gone down. He seemed far less composed, less guarded than usual.
"Right..."
"Virgil, did you threaten him? Did you scare him into doing this? If so, I don't want it. It's just as selfish an act as per his usual agenda." He turned away, refusing to meet either party's eyes.
"He didnt threaten me into anything. I just took some convincing. And I shouldn't have. Because I'm sorry."
Roman blinked and looked up at him.
"Yeah right you're sorry. This is just another mind game."
"It's not a mind game, I treated you horribly, and I didn't consider your feelings, and I'm sorry, okay?!" Deceit squeezed his eyes shut as if every word were a physical blast to his ego.
"Really?" Roman crossed his arms and straightened. "Elaborate."
"You're a good guy, you're delightful, and if I had to pick any of the lights to exist amicably around it would be you. And that's really the reason I did it. Because I thought I had the best chance with you. Chance for an associate that is."
Roman raised a brow. "An 'acossiate'?"
"Okay, that wasn't the best word for it... an ally, a joined force, you're spectacular at...agreeing with me?"
"Oh, really?! That's what you're gonna go with?"
Deceit huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Wow, this is going swimmingly..." He took a breath, tensing and untensing his fingers as he found the words. "I'm trying to say that I wasn't lying, the part where I said that we both want the same for Thomas. I wasn't lying when-"
"Considering you're apologizing, maybe try clearing up the things you WERE lying about first. A little stage direction for you." Roman's voice was cold. He wasn't in the mood for a sales pitch.
"Alright. You're right. Im... not used to being honest in stints this long. Pardon me if my wording takes a moment to construct." Deceit paused a moment, seeming to write a script in his mind. "What I did to you wasn't justified. I was caught up in my own plan, and I didn't factor your feelings into it. You're the dreamer, the romantic, and I chose not to consider that when... warping your reality in a means to my end. And I should have known the way I was taking things would ultimately hurt you. But I was selfish. And I didn't want to care. And that... was wrong of me to do."
Roman nodded as he processed. Then spoke:
"To be honest with myself... I don't think that i loved you. I think that i wanted to. Right, I'm the dreamer. And I wanted a Shakespearean love story, when there was really nothing there. I think I fell in love with the idea of being in love. Not with you. I knew every time I heard your name that it was a stupid, stupid thing to try. Of COURSE you were lying, of COURSE there was some bigger scheme behind it, that's what you DO. You're DECEIT. And Virgil even warned me, the doubts were there the whole time, I made up the love and I dove headfirst into it. So i don't blame you for being caught of gaurd. I still have plenty left to blame you for."
"And you have every right to. I really do hope that once this is all over, that you don't hate me. I didn't want to hurt you, truly and honestly, and if you ever wanted to come down for dinner again, as frie-"
"Not the time, nor the place. This isn't making up buddy-buddy, this is an apology. One sided. You hurt me. And I apologized for my side because I'm a good guy. But this is on you."
Deceit nodded, eyes glossing over as he thought to himself. He took a long breath.
"Okay. That's okay. I understand." He met Roman's eyes. "Apology accepted?"
"Accepted, grudgingly."
Deceit collected himself, adjusting his capelet and running a hand through his hair. He went from awkward and apologetic back to a cunning and sinister character in a disconcertingly brief moment. "Good. Then this never happened." And he was gone.
Roman looked to Virgil. If Deciet's facade was that practiced, who knew how many times he broke it heavily only to assume it again? Which Deceit was the facade, the apologetic or the sinister? Virgil's expression betrayed no answer. But the unsettling thought only lasted a moment before Roman was flooded with relief. He didn't mind all that really. This felt like closure.
"Thank you Virgil. So much." He wiped his eye and smiled.
"It was nothing. He doesn't get to mess with my friends. Plain and simple. It's no special favor for me to enforce that." He ran a hand through his bangs and looked away, acting all tough.
"Aww... aw we fwiends?" Roman teased, delighting in Virgil's blush.
"Definitely not if you keep that up."
"Really though. I honestly don't know what's up with me lately..." Roman thought it over. The answer hit him like a bag of bricks. "OH!"
"What? What happened?"
"It's Thomas! He's been single for longer than usual. Usually I get my love from him, when he feels it I do. Withdrawls."
"Withdrawls?" Virgil snorted.
"I couldn't get my romance fix. I tried to force something inside his head, some big romantic gesture. I'm the romance guy!"
"You are indeed the 'romance guy'. Anything we can do for you then?"
"Well I know why I'm emotional at least, so there's that. I know not to try to force something. So I can focus on my other stuff, creating, friendship! Thomas will get to romance in his own time. Until then I can focus on things other than my poetic yearning!"
"Mhm. So this all went down cause you were horny?"
"AH AH AH!" Roman held up a finger. "Remus gets horny. I have POETIC. YEARNING."
"Okay, okay..." Virgil chuckled. "So that part about friendship... the family hasn't eaten yet, Patton's crock-potting tonight. Whole kitchen smells amazing. Want to focus on that?"
Roman smiled and rolled out of bed, fighting his way out of the sheets until he was on his feet.
"I would love nothing more."
~~
Deceit threw open the door to the basement. Everything felt bad. He'd been set back al least a few months, easily more. But he felt more bad than usual. Couldn't have been Roman's feelings. He didn't care about Roman. Not at all. Couldn't have been Virgil's numerous denouncements of him right to his face. That didnt bother him. In the slightest. He reached the bottom of the stairs to run smack into an expectant Remus.
"What happened?! What he do, what did you say?!" Deceit rolled his eyes.
"I killed them both. Mercilessly and painfully."
Remus gasped and squealed in delight. "How?! I want the details!"
"Fangs. Tore their throats out. Blood. Lots of it."
"I'm so proud!" He mimed wiping a tear from his cheek. "Honest?"
Deceit snorted. He felt his mood lift, only slightly. "Of course not you maniac."
Remus pouted. Deceit chuckled. Maybe Roman hated him then. Maybe they all did. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe he definitely deserved it. But nothing was lost forever. Someday he'd learn, and someday they'd learn. Someday he'd know how to work his magic without bringing them down in the process, learn to use his guilt to figure out morals. But until then, he had this smiley idiot, who really didn't care what he did either way. A cheerleader for anything he chose to do. And that was a great thing to have.
"So you didn't kill them... you two fucked though, right?"
Deceit sighed, letting the day's events out of his mind.
"Absolutely."
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i rlly like this post going around about what a bad liar dave is bcaus a) its very funny but b) it reminds me of the fact that a lot of the time hes not even TRYING to cover up the truth. like its an instance where he knows hes probably SUPPOSED to keep something to himself so he acts like hes trying to. but what he ends up saying literally always ends up clearly implying the truth, and whats more, the way he does it is very pointed and intentional. every single time he lies hes basically telling the truth as clearly as possible without being explicit. in fact i dont recall ever seeing him lie with the sincere motivation of covering up the truth. and while he may play a role as some emotionally constipated guy who cant talk about his feelings, he is actually pretty self aware about it, hangs a lampshade on it. in being like ‘haha puppets dont scare me ever not even a little nope never in fact i love them so much’ (as an example) its so clearly insincere and so obvious that hes telling a joke. the joke is that its obvious to the person hes talking to that hes lying, and its obvious to dave that its obvious to the person that hes talking to that hes lying. thats like.. the whole joke. in fact a lot of his humour ends up with him or his feelings being the butt of the joke, bcaus its like ‘watch me semi-on purposely stumble over all my words, admitting 17 embarrassing truths about myself and then pretending like i just didnt even though we both know i did’
the way this contributes to the general theme of sincerity with dave is so interesting to me bcaus its like... bro gave dave certain social tools and told him he must use them in order to be a Strider, to be a man, and to be cool. you have to employ ironic humour, and you have to belittle others or act like youre above them. thats a huge part of bro’s (and i hate to say it but sometimes dirk’s) sense of humour. its what irony MEANS to him, and such sentiments are what dave parrots at the beginning. if you use irony, then acting like something is cool instantly means you actually think its embarrassing, and people who sincerely like it are stupid. if someone claims they understand your irony, then you can claim that you were in fact PARODYING the level of irony they claim to ‘get’ and so youre STILL on a deeper, smarter level than them. its about being superior, untouchable, and belittling people. see how bro ‘ironically’ puts disturbing things like saw references around the house for dave to see, as if to say ‘this stuff is dumb so im making fun of it. if it scares you then youre taking it seriously, so you dont get the joke, and you arent good enough’. while this sort of behaviour is framed as humourous by young dave bcaus its irreverent, its actually very maliciously intentioned, and doesnt come from a place of wanting to amuse people at all. bro strider is using ironic humour to belittle others. this is the strider template he tries to pass on to dave.
dave uses ‘ironic humour’. and he has been known to talk arrogantly and belittle others. but we know dave is inherently very open, doesnt hold himself in high regard, and is actually pretty affectionate. he likes people, he likes his friends, he likes seeing them happy and safe. he doesnt think hes better than anyone, not really. so he takes this strider template and he warps it so that his arrogance and superiority IS the joke. its ironic that hes acting so cool and untouchable, bcaus hes actually not either of those things, like, at all. the boy just wants to be open and make people laugh, and the tools bro gave him were not gonna help him with that if he used them as intended. so he blurts out honest feelings under the guise of irony, but the REAL irony is that the things hes saying is true. its a game for two people, not just one, where every joke lets the other person know just a little more about daves true thoughts and feelings. he could never say a word of truth but still so clearly be reaching out and leaving himself vulnerable to others.
i think ive mentioned this before but another point i find significant about how the striders use irony is that, as above stated, bro uses it to put others down bcaus they ‘dont get it’. dave however.... ok. daves magnum opus is sweet bro and hella jeff. and its ‘ironic’ (by daves definition of the term, i guess) bcaus its purposefully bad, and parodies stupid dudebros who are obsessed with weed, video games, and sex. sbahj as an .. entity, pretends like it thinks its cool and good (as its mentioned in canon that some sbahj fans believe it is sincere), but its just stupid trash. and dave knows this. and thats the point. so its ‘ironic’, i guess. but honestly... most of the humour is just derived from how dumb it is. there are poop jokes and dick jokes and typos and jokes where the punchline is someone falling on their comically large backside. humour like that doesnt exclude people for not ‘getting it’. its not complex. its not ingenious. its just. silly. and so his small group of friends, 3 12-13 year old nerds, who he probably should be dunking on for their sincerity if he followed by bro’s laws, love it. they reference it and laugh about it. and he doesnt tell them they dont get it, he just enjoys it. its fun, and its funny, and it brings them together.
tldr: daves near constant insincerity is a loophole he found in bro’s authority where he can express his sincere feelings and act like a kid. its not hard to decode or see his vulnerabilities, but this is by design. its a survival instinct which allows him to obey bro, without completely stifling his true personality.
#wooof this has been in my drafts for ages but im just gonna. publish. whatever#dave strider#homestuck meta#bro strider#striders#dave#long post
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Fandom: Steven Universe
Rating: General Audiences
Words: ~2K
Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.
Steven falls apart.
Chapter summary: In which everyone's panicking, and honestly Steven can't blame them.
First
Chapter 2: Knowing
Thankfully, they’re not alone when they warp into the temple. Pearl and Garnet are sitting at the counter, caught mid conversation, and Amethyst is flopped lazily across the couch with her arm hanging over the edge. Still shivering, Steven clings ever tighter to Bismuth’s arm, glancing with tear stained eyes between his Gem self and Garnet, the only one in his direct line of sight.
She shoots to her feet. Her mouth twists into an expression laced with more raw panic than he’s ever seen her convey in his life, and that thought alone hurts enough to shoot a physical pang through his nerves.
“Steven! Bismuth!"
“Ah, there you are,” Pearl greets amicably, and begins to turn to face the warp pad. “We were wondering where yo- oh good heavens!!"
“Dude...” Amethyst says as she shoots upright on the couch, her face turning a paler shade of purple.
He feels Bismuth’s form grow tense at their now inescapable attention, her fingers wrapping around his prone body just a little bit tighter. The pink clone generated by his gemstone glitches, the edges of his hard-light form morphing to fuzzy static that phases in and out of shape. Simultaneously, Steven winces at the uncomfortable sensation of pins and needles tingling through his limbs.
Any and all shell-shocked confusion dies at the unquestionable sight of a cracked Gem. His family rushes across the room to the warp pad in no more than a nanosecond flat, their shrill, panicked voices and Bismuth’s overlapping each other until he can barely pick out what any one of them is saying. His ears begin to ring. More arms than his disoriented senses can count dance under his back, and before long a thick blanket is wrapped around him, (is that his entire bedspread?), and he finds himself secure in Garnet’s hold, halfway across the room by the loft stairs. Safe! Admitting it leaves his stomach gnawing with nausea, because it feels so much like a blatant betrayal against the forgiving, accepting person he aspires to be, but it’s a relief to no longer be in the mercy of Bismuth’s grasp.
The Gems continue to fuss and argue about goodness knows what, their faces blurring in and out of focus as the seconds tick on. Notably, Pearl’s voice rises above all the others. She kneels next to Other Steven, wrapping her arm protectively around him. (He may be imagining it, but he swears he can feel the phantom whispers of her touch on his own shoulder.) He’s mostly gotten used to that baseline dull ache left behind in place of his gemstone by now, but whenever his counterpart’s form flickers and warps due to the crack that’s no doubt splayed across the rose quartz’s surface, that ache spikes into sensations uncomfortable enough to make his toes curl. If this is the pain he’s able to feel without his gem altogether, then what kind of agony is Other Steven in? His eyes brim with hot, sloppy tears, a sharp whimper passing his lips. The others are far too busy arguing to notice.
“—took him to the lower forge alone?? What were you thinking? It’s far too hot for him down there!”
Bismuth pales. “I’m- I honestly didn’t think about—“
“‘Kay, but literally none of this explains this freaky clone action,” Amethyst butts in, jutting her finger towards the pink Steven standing motionless in Pearl’s embrace. “Somehow he split entirely apart from his gem, so—“
“Enough!” Garnet says. One of her hands gently strokes his forehead, a stark difference from the impatience etched within the tension in her face. “This entire conversation is irrelevant, we should be—“
“Y'guys,” he croaks, but they're all so caught up in argument that he's brushed right over, which... kinda hurts. A lot.
“—how can he fuse with his gem half again if he’s completely hu—“
Pearl bristles. “It is not irrelevant, something terrible’s happened and Bismuth hasn’t explained herself!”
“Pearl, I’m trying, but you won’t—“
“I don’t care how any of it happened!” Garnet roars. Even though it’s not directed at him, he flinches at the harshness of her anger. “His gem is cracked!!”
The room falls silent.
He nuzzles his head into the crook of her arm, feeling ever safer in her embrace. "Thank you," he whispers. She responds with a gentle squeeze.
To his side, Bismuth squirms a little, nervously folding her hands together and apart over and over...
“This is all my fault,” she says brokenly. He’s almost positive there’s tears budding at the corners of her eyes.
“This isn’t about us,” Garnet says, more sensitively this time. “This is about helping Steven.” Then, in a whisper only for him: “Hold on. You’re gonna be all right, I promise.”
Steven gets the sense this comment is more for her benefit than his. He’s unsure if that should scare him or not.
(How many futures has she just watched where he di- No, he thinks. Not going there, nope nope nope.)
Amethyst hobbles up onto the warp pad then, urgently gesturing for everyone else to join her. “Well come on, no time to waste, yeah? We gotta get the two Stevens to Rose’s fountain!”
The other Gems agree readily, and follow behind. Bismuth’s steps are stiff and stilted. Meanwhile, Pearl leads his quiet pink counterpart by the hand, assisting him up the stairs of the warp amid his glitching. Out of everyone, the blank shock written clear as day across her face suggests she’s especially haunted by the existence of that hard-light version of himself. More so than everyone else. Carefully regarding her as Garnet carries him— still wrapped like a burrito— in his blanket, Steven can’t help but wonder why.
The warp activates, enveloping them in its glow. In seconds, they’re all coursing through the warp stream at record speed. One thing he knows for sure: he’s super glad he has his bedspread with him, because this strange little pocket of space hung between dimensions has a knack for being chilly, especially outside of the stream. It’d suck to start shivering again right after finally settling down.
Reassuringly, the promise of sunrise greets him in vibrant stripes of pink and orange as they promptly arrive at their location. It‘s night back in Beach City, but he’s pretty sure Mom’s fountain is somewhere in Europe. Maybe France? So, the sunrise makes sense. Large trees and shrubs block out the horizon in every direction, growing wild without constant nurturing. Still, it all looks leagues nicer (and infinitely less threatening) than the first time he came here. A spike of tingling runs up his nerves, reminding him that unfortunately, with his gem cracked, (and still no clue how he split apart from it in the first place), now’s no time to waste sightseeing. His chest tightens as he suddenly realizes he’s missing one crucial family member. One family member he— even if it’s a bit of a childish thought— really wants holding his hand right about now.
“Wait, I need Dad,” he speaks up, voice hoarse and shaky.
Garnet hugs him closer to her chest at that admission. She presses her forehead against his, whispering some reassurance he can’t quite catch.
“Amethyst, go back and fetch Greg,” Pearl says. “You can meet us at the fountain.”
She nods, for once not even arguing with her orders. “On it."
Her long white hair ripples in waves behind her as she sprints back to the warp pad. Soon enough, he spots a column of cyan light shooting up into the sky. His fingers knead the edge of the blanket he's wrapped in, desperately trying to keep his mind from entertaining all the worst possible outcomes. It's becoming harder to ignore his pink double's suffering, even though he's remained near-silent this whole time. Anyways, he really, really hopes she'll be back with his dad soon.
Steven's attention returns to the others, and he watches as Pearl’s eyes narrow slightly, her glance sliding back to Bismuth. “When all this is over, we’ll be discussing things like upholding sleep curfews, practical safety tactics, and the key differences between Gem and human anatomy.“
Her brow tightly creasing, she smooths out the front of her apron. “Yup. Received and understood.”
“We’d also appreciate more context on how all this happened in the first place,” Garnet says, gesturing between him and the Other Steven hand-in-hand with the tall, salmon haired Gem.
Without any other forewarning, Other Steven’s previously glassy expression snaps into alertness. “Breaking point,” he blurts out for the first time since the forge, tone flat. “Bismuth cracked me—“ a particularly violent glitch overwhelms the stability of his hard-light body, his words fragmenting— “htiw a gnikaerb tniop.”
The strength of Garnet’s hold on him triples, as if in her fury she’s unintentionally forgotten about how she’s carrying him in the first place. He winces, totally not thinking about how he’s watched her poof corruptions by squeezing them. Nope, nosiree, not at all.
“Uh, Garnet?”
“She did what??!” Pearl says, whirling towards the individual in question.
“Okay, okay!” Bismuth backs a few steps away, terror curling across her face at the sight of her looming anger. “So I know it sounds bad, and well, it kinda is, but I swear if you give me the chance to I’ll expla—“
“NO!”
The stone pathway splinters under the hard-light Steven’s feet as he yells, tipping everyone off balance. Pearl and Bismuth stumble and fall. Garnet takes a knee, and somehow avoids dropping him. Around them, a handful of frail limbs on a nearby tree crack and collapse to the ground. Bewildered and genuinely frightened by this display, Steven desperately locks eyes with the other him, watching his form endlessly warp and morph and flicker into impossible shapes. For a fragment of a second he swears his double’s irises flare hot pink.
“You TRUH mih!” Other Steven shouts at Bismuth, his fury pinning her in her spot, even in garbled phrases. “Uoy deirt ot RETTAHS—“
He disappears with a poof of smoke, retreating into the rose quartz gem. His gem. Immediately all phantom pains recede, settling back into that dull emptiness sitting in the pit of his stomach. For but a heartbeat, the gemstone remains airborne, its facets glittering in the glow of the morning sun. It’s big, larger than even seems possible, the exposed pentagonal surface only counting for a fraction of its full size. Somehow hidden within him this whole time, the sides of the pink gem flare outward and jut into a steep point. Pearl audibly gasps, slamming both hands over her mouth. Garnet and Bismuth recoil at the sight.
Then gravity asserts control, and it tumbles down, down, careening towards the hard stone like dead weight. Before it can shatter entirely on the ground, Pearl dives with the finesse of a polished gymnast, catching the gem and clutching it tight to her chest as if to obscure it from the others.
“Pearl?” Steven croaks.
Her face is white as milk, and her slight frame is shuddering. “You were never supposed to...”
“B-but this doesn’t make sense! That wasn’t- you’re not a rose quartz,” Bismuth stutters, carefully standing to her feet. His stomach sinks at the accusation, his brow furrowing with confusion. “That gemstone, it’s—“
In all the years to come, he doubts he’ll ever forget the visceral fear laced within Garnet’s whisper, fear not for him, but of him:
“—it’s Pink Diamond.”
Notes:
Cracked/glitching Gem Steven's dialogue, for ease of reading:
“Breaking point. Bismuth cracked me with a breaking point.”
“NO! You HURT him! You tried to SHATTER—“
Basically, he was in such poor shape that he retreated back into his gem (in an futile attempt) to heal. He was exerting far too much energy there in his anger, poor thing.
__
Note, none of the CGs actually suspected Bismuth intentionally hurt Steven until that bombshell. Before that, their assumption was that she took him on a lil' midnight sightseeing trip and he got cracked/split by accident. I figure they'd have no reason to suspect any foul play before that.
And Gem Steven... he finally spoke up when he had information of relevance to add to the conversation. Garnet outright requested more context on how the two Stevens split, gesturing towards him as she did, and so he told her. The argument in the temple was more of an argument about him, and not including him, so he remained quiet. And then later, he's calling Bismuth the heck out on her attempt at squirreling away from the blame. He's... very, very protective of his other half.
#su#steven universe#su fanfiction#su fanfic#garnet#pearl#amethyst#bismuth#my writing stuff#crack the paragon
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42 Followers Special
As promised, here is something fun we put together to celebrate 42 followers. Originally I planned to make a character sheet, but I also thought I’d know a a bit more about the characters backgrounds by the time I got 42. After all, I only had 27 last week, and the week before… plenty of time, right? So I decided to do this instead. When I watch this and other shows I often imagine them in terms of DnD sessions and I like to imagine how the DM will react to some of the stuff that shows up. I really like the episode CheeseBurger BackPack for this because it seems like a DnD session with an incredibly stupid amount of luck for the characters, but I decided I’d start at the beginning… sort of, I’ll probably go back and do a session 0 when I know a bit more.
So thanks to all my followers. And a special thanks for the shoutout from mindareadsoots
Campaign: Crystal Gems
Session 1: Gem Glow
MotelCalifornia : You guys already have a map of the town. You’re at your house here on the beach. It’s afternoon. It’s sunny outside. What do you want to do?
ShieldsNRoses : I brought snacks. They’re called Cookie Cats. My own special recipe.
AwesomeSaucem : AWESOME! Gimme!
MotelCalifornia : Alright, guys. Thanks Roses. What do you want to do first?
ShieldsNRoses : Ooh, I want to go to ‘The Big Donut’
MotelCalifornia : Ok, Steven goes to 'The Big Donut’. You guys going to stay at home?
AwesomeSaucem : Sure y not
MotelCalifornia : Alright, so Steven goes to the donut shop. The store is mostly glass windows in the front with posters for local events and advertisements taped to it. There is a giant donut on top. He enters and sees the two teenage shopkeepers running the store. Steven knows them as Lars and Sadie. Let’s switch over to the others for a bit. Rolls The house is invaded by giant bugs that look like a cross between centipedes and beetles.
Pearlescence : I want to roll to see what we know about these creatures.
MotelCalifornia : Okay, make an Insight check.
Pearlescence : Rolls low
MotelCalifornia : Alright, you manage to remember that this would probably spit acid, but nothing else for now.
Pearlescence : Alright I tell the others. Be careful! These things spit acid.
ShieldsNRoses : Hey, I wanna buy something.
MotelCalifornia : Uh, sure-
ShieldsNRoses : I wanna buy a Cookie Cat!
MotelCalifornia : I have a list of their inventory, my dude. They don’t have Cookie Cats.
ShieldsNRoses : Nooooooooooo! This can’t be happening! This has to be a dream! Lars! Lars! I grab him around the waist. Please tell me I’m dreaming!
MotelCalifornia : Uh alright Get off me man I’m stocking here!
ShieldsNRoses : Cmon dad! You totally should have put cokie cats here!
MotelCalifornia : Sorry kiddo, I just didn’t put it on the list… Hold on, I think I can do something. Sadie then says sorry steven I guess they stopped making them
ShieldsNRoses : Stopped Making Them!? Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Catss?
ShieldsNRoses : They’re only the most scrumcius and delicius ice cream Sandwich ever made!!! Dont they have laws for thsi!?
AwesomeSaucem : lol
MotelCalifornia : Lars Tough bits man! nobody buys them any more. I guess they couldn’t compete with lion lickers
ShieldsNRoses : Ugh Not lion licers! nobody likes them.. they dont even look liek lions! Kids these days, I tell you what.
MotelCalifornia : Gotta stop letting you watch King of the Hill.
MotelCalifornia : [PM to Pearlescence : I can do something with this. When he gets back to the house, tell him you heard they were dicontinued and bought a bunch.]
MotelCalifornia : Lars Well if you miss your wimpy icecream so much why don’t you make some with your “magic belly button” He walks away laughing
ShieldsNRoses : Thats not how it works Lars! Right?
MotelCalifornia : Yeah, it isn’t but im gonna take that as in character
ShieldsNRoses : ya thats fine. Oh sweet Cookie Cats. I draw a catface on the ccokie cat freezer. With your crunchy cookie outsides and your icy creamy insides. You were to good for this world. I kiss the freezer.
AwesomeSaucem : dude wth we already know ur proud ur snacks but u dont gotta sell em to us
MotelCalifornia : uh… Steven do you want to take the freezer with you???
ShieldsNRoses : nods I go home with the freezer im hummin this song
[ShieldsNRoses sent an audio file]
AwesomeSaucem : is this just you humming???? wut song even is this??
Pearlescence : You have a lovely voice.
STELLA: nice
MotelCalifornia: Just wait until you get to hear the actual song. Back to the others. You guys are fighting the centipeetles.
Pearlescence: How many are there?
MotelCalifornia: You see 12 in the main area of the house. 1 by the fridge, 1 in the living room, 1 near the warp pad, 1 by the front door. Roll for Initiative.
—I’m not going to write out a whole fight scene, that sounds really boring, so I’m going to skip it and put in 3 dashes anywhere fighting would be… —
ShieldsNRoses: can I be home now
MotelCalifornia: Sure. You are at the door.
ShieldsNRoses: Hey, guys! You won’t believe this!
MotelCalifornia: You are attacked the moment you step in the door. Roll for initiative.
—
AwesomeSaucem: 'Sup, Steven?
—
ShieldsNRoses: Awesome! What are these things?
Pearlescence: Ugh! Sorry, Steven. We’ll get these Centipeetles out of your room. We think they were trying to get into the temple.
ShieldsNRoses: Aw. You don’t have to get rid of them. They’re really cool.
MotelCalifornia: The one she’s still holding takes this chance to try to spit acid at Steven and Rolls misses. It splashes to the floor between you two
—
AwesomeSaucem: I wanna do an insight chck on them
MotelCalifornia: sure
AwesomeSaucem: Rolls alright
MotelCalifornia: ok you notice that they don’t have gems
AwesomeSaucem: Um, you guys? These things don’t have gems.
STELLA: That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.
Pearlescence: We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt.
ShieldsNRoses: Oh! Oh! Can I come?! Can I?! can I?!
Pearlescence : Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, I roll to snap the neck of the one I’m holding we’ll take care of protecting humanity, okay? Rolls well
AwesomeSaucem: heh rad
ShieldsNRoses : Aw, man.
MotelCalifornia: One of the centipeetles decides to start raiding the fridge
ShieldsNRoses: Hey! Get out of there! Go on! Shoo! Shoo! Aw! they got into everything! Not cool!
MotelCalifornia: While shooing it away you notice the freezer is full of cookie cats
ShieldsNRoses: lol No way. It can’t be! where dya get these?! I thought they stopped making them! thx dad
Pearlescence : Well, we heard that, too, and since they’re your favorite…
AwesomeSaucem : We went out and stole a bunch.
Pearlescence : I went back and paid for them.
STELLA: The whole thing was my idea.
AwesomeSaucem : It was everyone’s idea.
STELLA: Not really.
Pearlescence : All that matters is that Steven is happy.
[ShieldsNRoses sends an audio file]
Pearlescence: Is this the song you were humming earlier?
AwesomeSaucem : omg, i <3 this song! u write lyrics 2?
STELLA: nice
ShieldsNRoses: I can’t believe you did this. I’m gonna save these forever! Right after I eat this one. Hello, old friend. Oh, so good! I like to eat the ears first.
MotelCalifornia: Your gem starts glowing a little
AwesomeSaucem: Uh, Steven…
ShieldsNRoses: Wha-? My gem!
AwesomeSaucem: Quick, try and summon your weapon!
MotelCalifornia: It starts fading slowly
ShieldsNRoses: I don’t know how! Ah, its fading! How do I make it come back?!
Pearlescence: Calm down, Steven. Breathe, don’t force it.
AwesomeSaucem: Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.
STELLA: Please, don’t.
MotelCalifornia: It’s back to normal
ShieldsNRoses: Ah, I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?
Pearlescence: Oh, I’ll go first! I think I remember how it happened. I want to take him to that cherry tree outside the town to show him.
MotelCalifornia: Sure that’s fine. When you get there you find that the petals are falling off the tree all over the place
Pearlescence : Oh! Perfect! Pay attention to these petals_, Steven. The petals’ dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance!_ I summon my weapon and catch one of the petals in my hand. Like so.
AwesomeSaucem: k my turn I wanna do it at the big donut
MotelCalifornia: ok
ShieldsNRoses: wait I take some petals with me
MotelCalifornia: ok you are at the big donut
AwesomeSaucem: I buy a donut then we go to the dumpster in bak
MotelCalifornia: um, ok
ShieldsNRoses: I throw the petals up and try to make the gem glow Wah!
AwesomeSaucem: Did Pearl tell you the “petal thing”?
ShieldsNRoses: Yeah, I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree… I think.
AwesomeSaucem: Listen Steven, all that practice stuff is no fun. Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens. i summon my whip and hit the dumpster See? Didn’t try at all.
MotelCalifornia: Lars comes out the back door and sees you destroyed the dumpster *Lars* Huh?! Again?!
STELLA: my turn
STELLA: outside the lighthouse
MotelCalifornia: ok, you go to the lighthouse
ShieldsNRoses: So I’m supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?
STELLA: Yes.
ShieldsNRoses: rly?
AwesomeSaucem: lol
STELLA: Or… you could link your mind with the energy of all existing matter. Channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem, which results in—At least that’s my way of doin’ it.
Pearlescence: I don’t think that’s how you did it.
STELLA: shrug
ShieldsNRoses: dad did any of that work? Is my gem glowin?
MotelCalifornia: nope
ShieldsNRoses: back to the kitchen then I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. Im gonna just try to make yall be where you were last time exactly So… Garnet and Amethyst were here. Pearl was next to the fridge. Hmm. Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?
AwesomeSaucem: Okay, your majesty. crosses arms
ShieldsNRoses: And Pearl, your foot was like this. I move pearls foot
Pearlescence: I don’t think it works this way, Steven.
ShieldsNRoses: And Garnet, uh… I grab your face and point it up Yeah
STELLA: sure
ShieldsNRoses: Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Oh, wait! I sang the song first. Uh, he’s a frozen treat, all new taste, interstellar war, now available at Ghurven’s. Aww, it was funnier last time. *sigh* Maybe I’m not a real Crystal Gem.
Pearlescence: Don’t be silly, Steven. Of course you are.
AwesomeSaucem: And you’re fun to have around, even if your gem is useless.
AwesomeSaucem: I… mean, you’re one of us, Steven. We’re not the Crystal Gems without you!
ShieldsNRoses: Yeah, even if I don’t have powers, I’ve still got… Cookie Cat! *takes a bite* Mmm, so good.
MotelCalifornia: Your gem glows brightly and a shield comes out of it. It is a round pink shield with a spiral of thorns from the outer edge to the center where there is a rose
Pearlescence _: Steven, it’s a shield!_
ShieldsNRoses: Whoa, what?! I get a shield?! Oooh… yeah!
ShieldsNRoses: Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!
MotelCalifornia: Roll a d20 Steven
ShieldsNRoses: Rolls
MotelCalifornia: Your excitement causes your shield to shoot across the room and ricochet back and forth, but no one gets hurt but the tv gets destroyed
ShieldsNRoses : NOOOO!!!1!
Pearlescence: What’s in these things? Seriously, I am concerned.
MotelCalifornia: You hear a loud roar from outside. A shadow passes over the window looking like an even bigger centipeetle. Steven, your shield disappears
ShieldsNRoses: What was that?
Amethyst: we go out
STELLA: It’s the Mother!
Pearlescence : I follow Amethyst and Garnet outside, but first I tell Steven to Stay in the house, Steven!
ShieldsNRoses: No way, I’m coming too! I go get the cookie ca fridge and fill it with all the cats in the frzr
— some rolling, some fighting, some hiding —
AwesomeSaucem: We could really use Steven’s shield right about now!
ShieldsNRoses: I go outside wfth the frige and extention cord. I plant it in the sand near the monster Hey! Leave them alone!
Gems _: Steven, no!_
ShieldsNRoses _: Cookie Cat Crystal combo powers, activate!_ I eat a cookie cat
MotelCalifornia: what? Your powers don’t activate
ShieldsNRoses: Uh-oh.
MotelCalifornia: the centipeetle attacks you
ShieldsNRoses: Aaaah!
—
Pearlescence: We need to save Steven!
AwesomeSaucem: Can we save ourselves first?!
—
ShieldsNRoses: Goodbye, my friends. I eat several more
MotelCalifornia: nothing happens
ShieldsNRoses: Why isn’t it working?
—
STELLA: Steven!
MotelCalifornia: rolls Steven, you notice your fridge has been hit by a stray blast of acid
ShieldsNRoses _: No… Oh, no no no!…_I try to pick it up
MotelCalifornia: You get electrocuted rolls
ShieldsNRoses: Cookie Cat, he’s a pet for your tummy. Cookie Cat, he’s super duper yummy! I grab it by the cord and drag it to the centipeetle Cookie Cat, he left his family behind! Cookie Caaat! I throw it at him
MotelCalifornia: really? You throw a fridge at him?
ShieldsNRoses: she made me mad
MotelCalifornia: okay, I guess make a strength check?
ShieldsNRoses: * rolls a natural 20* YESSSSS! Now available… nowhere.
AwesomeSaucem: Yes!
STELLA: Gems, weapons! Let’s do it.
—
MotelCalifornia: You defeat the Centipeetle. Its gem drops on the ground
STELLA: I bubble it
ShieldsNRoses: I want to have a funeral for my cookie cats
MotelCalifornia: Sure
ShieldsNRoses: I dig a hole big nuf for a cookie cat rapper. I place the rapper in the hole I cover it with dirt and I put a leaf in the top Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats. I’ll always remember the time we spent together.
MotelCalifornia: Steven, you hear your stomach growling
ShieldsNRoses: Shh, hush now.
AwesomeSaucem: Are you crying? This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito
ShieldsNRoses: Only a little!
AwesomeSaucem: Well, I guess your powers don’t come from ice cream.
Pearlescence: Of course they don’t come from ice cream. Don’t worry, Steven, I’m sure some day you’ll figure out how to activate your gem.
STELLA: Yes, in your own Steven-y way.
ShieldsNRoses: I’m okay guys. I just- Ugh, I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.
MotelCalifornia: Make a constitution check.
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