#im having so much fun writing rn sorry.
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shitouttabuck · 1 year ago
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wip wednesday
tagged by @rewritetheending @onward--upward and @alyxmastershipper 💓💓💓
i haven’t reeeeally started writing anything other than planning this out broadly because it’s very plot heavy but got a little lost thinkin about the intimacy of shaving the other day so this is from x files au in some shitty shared motel room while they’re cryptid hunting or chasing aliens idk we’ll figure it out
When he emerges, hair towelled dry and in clean clothes, Eddie frowns at him. “What?” he asks. “Promise I didn’t finish all the hot water.” “No, you just look—” Eddie gestures at Buck’s face, “—scruffier than usual.” “Oh,” Buck says, running a hand over his day-four stubble. “I forgot my razor.” “Oh,” Eddie’s face clears, “just use mine.” Buck swallows. “Um. Okay. Thanks.” Eddie nods at him and goes back to squinting at his phone, so Buck about-faces and re-enters the bathroom. It’s not a big deal, he tells himself as he foams up his face. It’s like—like sharing a hairbrush. Intimate, sure, not something you’d tend to do with people you don’t know well, but it’s not a big deal.  He wets the razor and brings it to his throat, heart hammering there so violently it feels like his Adam’s apple is trying to get out. If his hand doesn’t stop trembling he’s going to nick himself, and God, he is being absolutely fucking ridiculous. Deep breath. The razor glides over the thin skin of his throat, muscle memory even as he stares at himself in the mirror. Doesn’t think about Eddie doing this every morning, using this very razor. Blade edge kissing his jaw the same way it kisses Eddie’s. Doesn’t think about Eddie doing this for him, hand holding his chin as he shaves Buck carefully, grip firm when he turns Buck’s face this way and that. Doesn’t think about Eddie kissing where the blade kissed him first.  Doesn’t think about any of that when he rinses the razor clean and slots it back into the travel mug, where Buck’s toothbrush rests against Eddie’s with such easy familiarity it’s about to spark a whole new crisis. 
tagging @try-set-me-on-fire @jeeyuns @housewifebuck @anxieteandbiscuits @forthewolves @zahlibeth @athenagranted @buckactuallys @transboybuckley @icecreampotluck @diazblunt if you have anything to share today or later!
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sneezydarliing · 8 months ago
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Close Quarters (Gen/Shin, CynoNari)
Hi um. Me after posting late to my own event. nyways this is for @hachiibun !!!!! thank you So much for your patience i hope you like this. I tried to go insp from some art you've posted so i hope its to ur liking!!!!
Cyno was familiar with Tighnari’s nose. Sensitive and easily set off, it wasn’t uncommon to witness one of his fits if you spent a day with him. His ears would twitch and flick, tail swishing with agitation, nose scrunched up against a wrist until he finally succumbed. His awareness is what led to the sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched the other. 
The two were cramped together in a small inlet, waiting for the moment to strike against a large group of enemies. They crouched side-by-side, shoulders pressed together. Cyno quietly observed, watching the furrow in Tighnari's brows, the flick of his tail, watching him scrub a gloved hand against his nose. The two locked eyes, Tighnari’s eyes red-rimmed and watery with unshed allergic tears. He worried his bottom lip against his teeth, sending a message they both knew. Tighnari needed to sneeze, and there was very little he could do to stop it.  
The specks of pollen coating every surface was the clear culprit. While neither of them were allergic, it was nearly impossible to not feel itchy with the sheer amount of it. Even Cyno, prideful of his own control, had to resist the urge to rub his irritated eyes. Tighnari, however, was fighting a losing battle. He aggressively pawed at his nose, leaving it red and angry looking. They both knew his sneezes could never go unnoticed- Tighnari’s fits were pitchy and desperate, demanding attention whether he wanted it or not. 
Cyno adjusts, freeing a hand, prepared to help if needed. Sure enough, Tighnari’s slow, controlled breath snagged, entering a desperate cresendo as he fought against the itch, battle quickly lost. Cyno watches as he crushes the release against his glove, knowing the control will not last. Tighnari’s nose is never satisfied with just one, and a wet sniffle and the crinkle in his nose confirms his theory. He gives cyno a watery look, warning him of what he already knows.
He slowly manevours around so that he's facing tighnari, ignoring his quiet hiss of “what are you doing?!” then, he brings up his hands, gently presses tighnari against his body, and locks eyes with him. Tighnari  nods, breath already stuttering. Cyno can almost feel the tickle, watching his nose wrinkle as he brings up another glove to scrub at it. His breath takes on an almost desperate whine, and he buries himself into Cyno’s shoulder
As it came to a peak, Cynos hands wrapped around hjs head, pressing him further into him. The fabric against his nose set him over the edge, as he tries desperately to silence the much-needed release. 
“h’NGT! h-N’’gXT-h’NdT’iew-! hhI- hN’GT-hH’NDGT-ieww!” Tighnari panted against the rapid releases, and Cyno felt a dampness in his shoulder. “Done?” he whispered, knowing Tighnari’s sensitive ears would pick it up. Tighnari lets out another whine-like breath, hitching and stuttering. “I don’Hht-! Don’t know how many more I.. nGHT-! snF! Can hold back..” he mutters, congestion clear in his voice. 
Cyno presses his hands against the back of Tighnari’s head and presses him further against him. “Let them out. It’ll be okay.” 
Tighnari opens his mouth to object, but with his loss of focus, the need for release overcomes him. He buries himself in the crook of Cyno’s neck, each sneeze more desperate and itchy sounding than the last. 
“hIH-iSHhiew-iShh-i’tSCh’iew-! hAh.. hiDT’sCHh’u! a’TSCHh-sCHh’ieww-! n’GTCh-! iSCHh’u!” Tighnari gasps for breath against Cyno as he watches their targets warily pack up their camp and leave, made nervous by the sudden activity. He releases a deep breath, but there’s no use in being angry. It was an unavoidable outcome. He releases his grip on his companion, trying to plan a next move as he listens to Tighnari’s wet sniffles as he attempts to clean himself up. 
“I’m sorry, Cyno.” He says after a few moments, voice thick and raspy from strain. Cyno shakes his head in response. “It was bound to happen. I’m sure they’ll return.” He stands, dusting the dirt from his clothes, and offers a hand to Tighnari, who takes it after another itchy sneeze aimed into his shoulder. “You need to go home and wash the pollen off.” 
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bunnihearted · 4 months ago
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🏹
#i hope no one reads this bc my avpd is crazy rn and i cant be affectionate#BUT...#i know there are some good ppl in the world#many ppl on tumblr (and twitter) has been very kind to me#i know not everyone are bad ppl#im just stuck in this bpd mood where only ONE thing is true#and i constantly feel so hurt and trampled on and disrespected#and i feel like i cannot trust anyone#so my brain hones in on that i feel unsafe w everyone#but okkkk listen i know i know some ppl are very nice to me#and i appreciate that more than i can ever have words for#so.. like yeah i've gotten some asks but i cant reply bc i cant be social directly#but no i dont hate everyone on here or think every single person is awful#like when ppl are nice to me no i dont think theyre horrible#but with my trauma brain... and my past experiences#i get very sensitive sometimes and i feel like everyobe are lying to me and making fun of me#and everyone is in on a joke abt me that im unaware of#and i feel like if i lay myself bare i'll only be taken advantage of and humiliated#i just feel right now very weak and like all my skin's off#and im walking around like a huge wound and if someone even breathes on me it hurts so much#so im sorry for being mean and saying so many rude things rn im just kinda falling apart#but i still have capacity to recognize that ppl are nice to me on here ok i just dont know what ro#what to do with it*** bc im not used to that#im used to ppl bullying me or being mean and i hate that but i just cry and hurt myself and i know what to do#when someone's nice to me i feel like the world is upside down and the sky is like green and the water is red i dont get it#anyway.. yeah i hope no one reads this and when i ramble and write a lot the chance of less ppl reading gets higher#anyway... i just wanted to write this and get it out into the universe#bc i sometimes do things to isolate myself even further bc i've never had community or support or comfort or friendships so lowkey i dont#even want to nurture things that can lead to that bc idk what to do with that. how to not fuck it up.#anyway... idk what im saying or thinking even
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good-beanswrites · 1 year ago
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Could you write a drabble for Mikoto and Shidou plus Blood? This request miiight be inspired by the fact that Mikoto mentions his body hurting a lot but doesn't seem to be receiving any medical treatment, either because Mahiru and Fuuta take priority or because there's no obvious cause, and therefore cure, to his pain...
👀👀👀 Thank you, this is such a good combo ough!! It's so interesting how much focus the others get when it comes to physical health, since Mikoto has clearly complained of his condition :( It looks like Milgram is trying to push the idea that he's completely oblivious to his alters, but I spun it where he's aware, just deep in denial. So have some Mikoto angst to get us hyped for Double!
Mikoto should be grateful. He was lucky. That’s what he kept repeating to himself. He had both of his eyes intact. Both his arms. He was strong enough to walk around freely. He wasn’t on the verge of death, or collapse. Thus, he should be grateful no one was offering him any help, because it meant he didn’t need it. He repeated it again. Maybe this time he would believe it.
With a groan, his body rolled out of bed. He couldn��t remember the last time he’d woken up actually feeling rested. Everything ached. His muscles tightened with soreness. His throat felt as raw as his knuckles, though he hadn’t been using either. He had no desire to lift his arms over his head, or twist around too much, so he didn’t change out of yesterday’s uniform. Maybe the belts and buckles had made it difficult to sleep. The theory wasn’t a convincing one, but dwelling on things like that had never gotten him anywhere.
He ran his fingers once through his hair, combing out a bit of the mess. Looking in a mirror was the last thing he needed. He made his way to the dining hall. 
The others trickled in for breakfast. His appetite, at least, hadn’t suffered. He hardly noticed the others giving him wide-eyed stares. What were they expecting? Of course he was looking worse for wear, given the circumstances. He ignored them, glad to focus on the hot meal before him.
A hand weighed heavy on his shoulder.
“Mikoto,” Shidou’s voice may have remained calm, but it was urgent. “Do you need some help?”
“Huh?” He shrugged his hand away, offering a weak smile. “I’m fine! Oh, I think Kazui was saving a seat for you over there, if you --”
“-- How about we go to my cell for a moment? Or yours, if that would be more comfortable.”
What was everyone’s problem this morning? Mikoto did his best to keep his voice pleasant. “Really, man, I’m good.” 
Shidou’s expression remained unmoving. Very carefully, he informed him, “you’re bleeding. Pretty badly by the look of it. You’re coming with me.” 
Mikoto blinked. He looked over his shoulder, following Shidou’s gaze. The back of his uniform was torn across the center. A significant splotch of blood seeped into the material, growing even larger as he shifted to see it. 
“...Oh…” 
Back in Shidou’s cell, sad to have left his breakfast plate behind, he slumped into a chair. Shidou gathered together some supplies. As always, he got right to the point. “What happened?”
“I… I’m not sure. I don’t remember anything from last night. I don’t remember most nights, recently. I know that sounds crazy, but…”
“It’s fine. I have definitely heard crazier.” He smiled, something gentle and reassuring. As usual, there was something hidden behind his eyes. It was as if he already knew what Mikoto was up to late at night that earned him so much soreness the following days. He didn’t offer an explanation, though. Mikoto didn’t press him for one.
He winced as he was helped out of his uniform. Removing his shirt revealed the mysterious gash. Shidou’s eyes widened at the array of scratches and scars. Some were fresh, but most originated long before Milgram. Though he didn’t ask, Mikoto answered.
“I’m pretty clumsy, huh?” Maybe this time he would believe it. 
Shidou was kind enough to pretend to. “Here, allow me…”
Shidou got to work cleaning and dressing the injuries. Mikoto closed his eyes. Even though the disinfectant stung, and sometimes those gloved fingers pressed a little two hard, it felt nice to have things patched up. 
“Is there anything else going on? Are you feeling pain anywhere else?”
Mikoto could have laughed. He didn’t. “I’m just sore. And my head’s been killing me, but I’m used to migraines. Perks of the verdict, I’m sure.”
Shidou hummed in thought. 
“Thanks, by the way. I’ll try to be more careful.” Not that he had much choice in the matter, it seemed. But he’d do his best. 
Shidou kept his face straight, but there were traces of pain in his voice. “I will too. I’m sorry, Mikoto. If I had known… I’ve been distracted lately, but I should have paid closer attention.”
“It’s fine,” he flashed a grin. “I know the others are pretty fucked up. And I’m not dying or anything. I’m lucky, you know?”
“I wouldn’t say so. Doctors don’t only treat the dying.”
Mikoto frowned. 
It didn’t take much longer to finish treatment. Shidou gave him a few instructions about the bandages, then offered him a clean shirt. “You’re good to go. I’ll be checking in more often, now. I’ll see if I can find something for your head.” 
“Thanks. Really.”
He returned Mikoto’s torn uniform. “You should talk to Es about getting a new one. Until then, you’ll want to clean this with --”
Mikoto waved a dismissive hand, heading out of the cell. “Don’t worry, I know how to wash blood out of my clothes. Er, that sounds bad. I’m just a clutz, yeah? The blood’s always been my own.”
Maybe this time he would believe it.
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boxwinebaddie · 6 months ago
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 8 months ago
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forever mad about how dirty they did aveline from act 2 onward
#thinking way too much abt it rn cus i just finished her quest today#she is important to liam and i enjoy their relationship a lot & also her character in general in the earlier acts#but MAN i hate what they did to her in acts 2 and 3#laya plays dragon age#feels like there is such a disconnect from her attitude between acts 1 and 2?#or well. maybe not disconnect exactly but even so there is an important shift there and we never even get to see it OR question it#she could have been such a good contribution to the story and the themes by putting her at a crossroads of#do i keep following what i know and become another cog in the system or do i challenge them and break out of it#cus like. in act 1 she is not above going against laws when her own morals (or even just biases) go against them#but is generally still in favor of ''regular'' law and order (which does get challenged by characters sometimes which is nice!)#(sort of) blind loyalty is already a fault of hers and now her loyalty is understandably mostly towards her guards#but then her companion quest is not in fact about herself but about frickin. courting the guy she likes???????#full on i thought this was a silly quest for levity in an act that has a lot of dark moments#but no it is Her Important Quest TM and not only does she not get with him if you dont do the quest#but her entire attitude and happiness going forward depends on it????? what the hell#also fun fact first time playing act 2 i thought that there was a lot going over my head and like#and some of it did yeah but i also just Assumed that bc the way aveline acted/ the guards actions were presented through her#didnt line up with what actually happened#(& her being so defensive and dismissive didnt line up with the impression i got of her before that)#sorry for the rant im just once again mad about cool characters being screwed over by the writing
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m0th-t33th · 3 months ago
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ewwwwww what the fuucckkkkk........
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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i really need to read immortal fears back and get back to writing it huh
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butterflieswhisper · 4 months ago
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hi whisp this started as an apology for psychologically torturing you yesterday but i got off track and now you get a sappy message about how fucking cool its been to have you beastposting with us and being a fan. youve been awesome and for my** players to see a character post or have someone pick up on these subtle things theyve been doing from someone who doesnt have the inside scoop is an unmatched feeling! these goobers put so much time and heart into playing this silly game together.... idk man im really not trying to put you on a pedestal or nothin but i just wanna make sure you know youve been so appreciated.
anyways sorry for the torture it WILL happen again
**i claim no ownership or legal responsibility for the beasts
hi. firstly: apology accepted . in retrospect it was extremely funny. you have my permission to continue :]
secondly. i don't even know what to say this is incredibly touching. it has been so awesome to be here everyone is so incredibly nice. i haven't really participated in fandom before like ever in general and everyone is just. so incredibly welcoming it is really really heartwarming. thank you so much. i don't really know how to respond to compliments this means the world to me though genuinely i am so glad everyone is enjoying . this goes out to any beast who's ever left me a compliment ever also thank you so much i promise i think about it constantly i'm just so bad at responding to them. it's so so nice thank you
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lunavagans · 8 months ago
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Hi! Uhhh I started writing a pre-manga pov of Ganondorf a while ago. Basically his bastardization arc from his exile (which the old woman in the desert tells Green about vaguely) to maybe just after Shadow‘s creation? I‘m not sure yet what I‘ll cover. Neither will I probably try to adhere to the disappointingly few hints from the manga, but I somewhat finished the first 1.5 scenes, so I thought I‘d go ahead and post them, see what the response is. Not to brag, but I think it‘s gonna be not too bad (says the person with zero experience in writing). Scenes under the cut!
Possible trigger warnings: mention of death and its glorification, allusions to losing one‘s mind via possession/curse, one curse word??
The night is cold. It always is, in the desert; razor-sharp and gnawing at one‘s bones. The fur-trimmed cloak fluttering around Ganondorf‘s figure doesn‘t do him any good, only a constant thwap! in his ear. In the faint moonlight, he sees the face of one of his oldest friends, her eyes shaded under her helmet. It gives her the expression of an old depiction of the sand goddess in a children’s book, enacting justice upon fairytale villains.
They stand far enough from the town for its nightly torches to be nothing more than a glowing backdrop to her silhouette. Nobody else knows of th exile’s whereabouts. He can only guess what excuse they will tell the civilians.
Wordlessly, she holds out a hand, in it a bag containing: the few rupees he privately saved for emergencies, hunting gear, branches of the sparse local medicinal herbs. He can barely see it in the darkness, has to instinctively reach out a hand for it to fall into. The goddess‘s hand lingers in the air. He likes the thought that it‘s because this last goodbye is just as painful for her.
Her hand finally sinks back to her side where it twitches once, wrestling with itself, then decisively gripping the spear standing out from the sand. Her voice is pressed and grates like smoke on the horizon. „You know this has to be done. It‘s for the best of us all.“
His own words come out no better; he almost thinks it a monstrous, vengeful someone else. It might have been, he will later conclude in a rare lucid moment. „It is not. You lose your king, I lose my name.“
„We have lost many kings; we‘ve managed. As for you…“ He senses it, the ashamed way she averts her eyes under that goddesses-damned helmet. She thinks his uprooting is worth their survival, their standing with Hyrule. „You won‘t. That is the point.“ He grows quiet after this. She‘s right. This is bigger than him and his mortal desires.
„You heard the seer say what would happen otherwise. And it‘s enough of a mercy that they… we don‘t have you executed for the danger you pose. Or drag you into an alley to do it discreetly. Maybe it was too much to expect for you to defy your namesakes, after all.“
Ganondorf watches her speak herself into a self-justifying frenzy absent-mindedly. The seer, yes. The one that had come in after the news of the princess‘s birth had been delivered. Stepped into the destroyed room, hadn‘t she, gingerly avoiding the shards and ashes. Croaked the damning prophecy as if she couldn‘t have done that sooner, right after his conception when his fate was decided. But no, the goddess could only grant one so much power, and only when they wished so; as if the goddess cared about one measly glorified fortune teller and the seal shit she wanted to pay her board and lodging with.
The guard stops mid-breath. Perhaps she knows of the carmine haze slowly settling over the exile‘s eyes, yet again. It doesn‘t matter. She branishes her weapon in demonstration; they both know she will not hesitate to use it. She will merely battle with herself her entire life afterwards. But what is one mind‘s peace in the eyes of the divine?
Ganondorf scoffs and turns away. His footsteps fade away far too late for her comfort.
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The track through his homeland - on the shortest way towards the red cliffs cutting it off from the lush rest of the world - goes by uneventfully. He stops once, staring at the ruins of the Arbiter‘s Grounds. He excuses his behavior with the natural caution one should move with near the territory of a moldera.
It looks exactly the same as it always had. The coliseum still lounges in the sands, surrounded by columns and pathways. It reminds him of a sleeping beast.
He‘s glad he wasn‘t executed here, as his friend said it might‘ve been decided. He would‘ve been dragged into the arena for all to see, before the ancient mirror that had seen another king before him. Presented like a farewell gift before him, the scene feels familiar. It‘s as if he can remember the moonlight at the time, gleaming of the masks of the sages.
Oh, wasn‘t that death but the path to glory!
He keeps walking.
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Formal Apology to my persona 5 followers
Yeah.
#speculation nation#i did not mean to switch fandoms but like... my brain has entirely switched gears lmao#i do still love p5 & akeshu of course but like. god i hate the fandom so fucking much.#no fandom is without faults but ive been enjoying my time in trigun fandom SO much more than p5 fandom#enough to take my blog out of hiding from search results. which is honestly kinda wild.#i dont plan on permanently giving up on writing discacc. but like. lol.#im having a lot more fun with itnl & interacting with trigun fandom. so this is just how it is rn.#i keep losing some followers (tho slower than im gaining trigun followers) and i Assume it's my p5 followers jumping ship#which like. Fair. hfkshfj if ur not interested in trigun & dont wanna see it. well. uh. sorry.#in the end it's my blog & writing fanfic is supposed to be fun. i hate temporarily putting discacc on hiatus#but i HAAAATED the p5 fandom & especially akeshu fandom. which is not a great feeling for the fandom im supposed to be in.#turns out it's not quite normal to have a great number of big names in the fandom that make my blood just fucking Boil#just upon seeing their names. it's that Dust shit & all involved. for those that know lol.#for any who r willing to stick it out with me. thanks ❤. tho im not judging anyone who ends up unfollowing#this is less of an apology for switching fandoms and more an apology for letting down discacc fans#maybe i should put a note on it or smth idk. i'll think about it.#for now imma just keep doing as i do. Happily. i have been having a lot of fun.
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thedevotionaltour · 7 months ago
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none of this writing has charming soap opera drama appeal i feel like im reading bad wattpad fanfic turned novel drama instead.
#im sorry to be a hater but absolutely nothing has primed me to like remotely any of this. i feel bad not even trying to find some worth#but i cant 😭 i just cant. i do think mike is fun though. some meaning there.#but i've been stuck in silver and bronze land and the last most recent run i reread was w.aid#i mean. i did just read some of so.ule's run. it was alright but i had to read a very select portion so. didnt help to build up with me#sadly. wasnt bad tho. but im like mannnn... i miss the current character voice im used to so i feel so Huh when im reading rn#bc those two matts feel quite different than the ones i am particularly fond of. which is like yes natural character development#but it also just feels So different. this is my own problem though#i have a very particular mix of matt character voice in my brain. silver/ very early bronze + n.ocen.ti + w.aid. this is my matt soup#so im still like. dumb as it sounds Adjusting! also b.en.dis resides in there too but is harder to remember#bc the last time i touched it really was in my freshman year of college.#so it's been a minute and is not quite within that soup but it's an underlying flavor. same w/ ann. though underlying in a different way#bc even tho i read this year it isnt the most Thorough sticking and super distinct to his voice (i have a very broad meaning when i say tha#but it is definitely an informative flavor. but soapy antics and happy matt are highly definitive of my current view#so im like huh. im not quite into grittier writings of matt yet. aside from like. be.nd.is. but i still dont find it the same brand of grit#ok rethinking even though i say it's not in there it is it's very much one of those things you dont realize is like something carrying#a lot of the flavor within the soup but if you took it away it would be mega lacking. ok. there#done with my soup metaphor. anyways. point is Im Still Trying To See How This Matt Works In My Mind#not bc im resistant (to s.oul.e. im highly resistant to z.da.rsk.y) to him. but it's like. it's not quite the best to work with all these#other variations and informative to my viewings. i know i said i was done with soup metaphor but i lied. it's like they arent. terrible. bu#and dont necessarily ruin the soup (im gonna be real and say this only applies to s.oul.e. the other guy is ruining the soup). but dont fit#the flavor profile of it very well. like it kinda works. but it throws it off. just a bit. NOW IM DONE.#static.soundz
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priniya · 12 days ago
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would you maybe write an smau (oscar x norris or leclerc!reader) where the reader is just super clumsy and everyone makes fun of that?
ᯓᡣ𐭩 SUCH A KLUTZ ! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ
pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader
summary. in which reader can’t walk straight to save her life and formula fans (as well as some of the drivers) find it extremely amusing, while her boyfriend is the greenest flag of all time.
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 89 623 others.
yourusername rumour has it that the best couple on grid is enjoying the summer break and the rumors are TRUE! though it is also said that the girl in third slide fell off the scooter and got a concussion so her boyfriend took her phone away for three days — this may or may not be true!
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user1 oscar is so whipped the guy is the first like whenever she posts something 😭😭
user2 i know ehic isnt a thing in monaco unfortunately but my other european girlies please remember to get yourself an ehic card if you travel across europe it can save you a lot of nerves if you injury yourself on vacay 😭😭😭
priniya european girlies always remember to have a valid european health insurance card! <3
oscarpiastri she might say its not true but it is 👎👎 the girl almost gave me a heart attack
landonorris yourusername someone should lock you up because at this rate youre gonna hurt yourself by breathing
yourusername im having a brat summer ☹️
arthur_leclerc dont think its how it works lutin
francisca.cgomes rumour has it that she didn’t take her girlfriend with her to her trip
lilymhe rumour has it that she broke her other girlfriend’s heart
yourusername NOOOO IM SORRY 😭😭😭 LET ME MAKE IT UP WHEN THE BREAK ENDS
marverstappen1 girl how do you even function with that clumsy brain of yours?
yourusername kellypiquet please tell p that max is making fun of me because i got hurt
kellypiquet she’s making you a card rn
maxverstappen1 our house turned into a glitterlandia because of that card
yourusername I LOVE HER SO MUCH
user3 i honestly cant wait for the pyn reunion in zandvoort 🥹🥹🥹
yourusername same shes my true one 👊👊
charles_leclerc oscarpiastri take your aussie hands off my baby sister or ill crash into you in zandvoort 😁
charles_leclerc for legal purpose this may or may not be a joke
yourusername crash into him and i’ll do something worse than have his hands on me and make you watch
francisca.cgomes
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liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 432 621 others.
francisca.cgomes a girls night gone wrong…
— tagged alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername
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user4 i bet my LIFE that yn had to go to the er 😭😭😭
pierregasly THIS is what you meant by a surprise??????
francisca.cgomes surprise . . . 😦
alexandrasaintmleux it was fun while it lasted . . .
user5 WHY DOES THE COMMENTS SEEM LIKE YN DIED WHERE IS HER COMMENT
user6 yn rn 💀🪦🪦
user7 you are not funny! hope that helps ❤️
charles_leclerc girl where is my sister 😭😭😭😭
yourusername WHY ARE YALL ACTING LIKE I DIED?????
user8 SHES ALIVE YOU GUYS
oscarpiastri kika you were supposed to bring her back in one piece?
francisca.cgomes sorry it was not my fault
francisca.cgomes literally not my fault this time a guy bumped into her shoulder and she fell 😭😭😭
yourusername i sprained my ankle :(
alexandrasaintmleux we still love you 🫶
user9 ngl i would give my leg to be a part of this friendship
user10 same
landonorris petition to keep yourusername locked in a cage
user11 😧😧😧
yourusername you gotta catch me first 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
pierregasly i second this
lilymhe i third
alexandrasaintmleux ily yn but i fourth ☹️
twitter !
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user13 WHEN ITS GONNA BE MY TURN???
user14 i need an oscar in my life but idk if i wanna be yn 😭
user15 you r so real for that oomf
user16 ngl i wish i could be oscar to be with yn
user17 god just knew that if she made yn flawless she would be too much for mortals
user18 she ?
user17 god is a woman and her name is pascale leclerc 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
user19 LMAO
lando.jpg
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liked by alex_albon, yourusername, logansargeant and 772 812 others.
lando.jpg never accept an invitation from yourusername for a dinner at her house because there’s a 100% chance she’s gonna burn herself while making you food
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oscarpiastri shouldnt have invited YOU
lando.jpg ??? MEAN ???
oscarpiastri dont make fun of my clumsy girlfriend
yourusername when he’s protective ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
yourusername i burnt myself while YOU ALL WERE LAUGHING
user20 oscar was laughing too?😭
arthur_leclerc he was glaring at everyone laughing while looking after yn
user21 oscar is the bestest boyfriend possible i need an oscar in my life
user22 yourusername can you fight?
yourusername i have three older brothers, go figure it out
user22 (。•́︿•̀。)
charles_leclerc cant believe they didn’t invite ME and they invited YOU
arthur_leclerc she invited me and enzo LOL
user23 lando.jpg comeback to make fun of oscars gf 😭😭😭
charles_leclerc SHE WAS MY SISTER FIRST
user24 yn is a klutz first human second
oscarpiastri
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liked by pascale_leclerc, nicolepiastri, yourusername and 921 728 others.
oscarpiasti a few things that summer break gave me: a dog (yes, i’m officially a dog dad), relaxing time with my friends n family, a fiancée and lots of headaches due to the clumsiness of my gorgeous fiancée.
view all comments!
yourusername i love youuuuuu
hattiepiastri THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT???
hattiepiastri yourusername YOURE MARRYING MY BROTHER????
hattiepiastri HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??
yourusername i flipped a coin
georgerussell63 it probably hit you in the face too, no?
user25 IMAGINE THE FAMILY GATHERINGS???
user26 hold on is oscar gonna go there as charles’ son or yn’s throphy husband??
user27 the family dynamics must be crazy??? because wdym his girlfriend’s brother ADOPTED him??
oscarpiasti fiancee’s*
user27 oh hes not playing
user28 this gon be soooo awkward at the family dinner
yourusername BURN THE PAPERS charles_leclerc HES MINE NOW
charles_leclerc HE WAS MINE FIRST
nicolepiastri i’m pretty sure he was mine first 🥰
pascale_leclerc now we have to share children nicolepiastri
landonorris love you guys but you shouldn’t have a wedding because with yns abilities she might turn the party into a funeral
mclaren so glad to have yn in the mclaren family! 🧡
user29 engagement this engagement that we KNEW you would tie the knot sooner or later WHAT IS THE DOGS NAME 🗣️🗣️🗣️
oscarpiastri pepper :)
user30 yn and lorenzo both engaged in 2024?? leclerc siblings are going STRONG
lewishamilton congratulations to you guys 💚💚
sebastianvettel lots of love and patience with that one, oscar :)
user31 not the girls not congratulating oscyn… fake friends?
user32 gtfo they prob knew abt it already and congratulated them IN PERSON and not in instagram photo comments
francocolapinto lost my chance 😞😔😭😭😢
user33 LMAOOO??? bro saw her at ONE (1) race and fell in love
user34 honestly cant blame him
user35 pls never media train him
yourusername pls franco never change 🫶
pierregasly pls dont elope i need that free food
yukitsunoda0511 dude youre a MILLIONAIRE?
pierregasly dude gtfo
yukitsunoda0511 if i were them i would elope just to spite you
oscarpiastri dont give yn any ideas pls
yourusername no eloping for us i need my brothers to walk me down the aisle 😁😁😁
georgerussell63 to make sure you don’t trip over the dress?
yourusername youre officially uninvited 👎
user36 SHE WANTS CHARLES ENZO AND ARTHUR WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE??? OH IM GONNA KILL MYSELF
2K notes · View notes
15000bugs · 2 years ago
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rereading some old posts and i just realized on one of my dr posts from like 7 months ago someone commented asking who my favorite character was.. theyre the same person who used to comment on all of my dr fics on my old ao3 pseud when i was in like 9th grade 😭 i didnt respond to the tumblr comment bc i was too shy but like. Wow i cant believe theyre still active in the fandom five years later
0 notes
norrizzandpia · 1 year ago
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The Video (LN4)
Summary: Y/n and Lando’s club dancing sends the F1 world into a frenzy.
Warnings: sexual innuendos, sexual conversations, its short im sorry, if you want something more to this storyline lmk in the requests ill prob do it lol
Note: IVE HAD THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD LONG BEFORE I EVEN STARTED WRITING
TWITTER
ln4andop81 how yall feeling after that leaked vid?
- mclarensgirly FIGHTING. FOR. MY. LIFE.
- f1fan2 if i speak.
- ln4andop81 what shall we address first.
- mclarensgirly maybe the GRINDING????
- f1fan2 PLZ I SCREAMED THE WAY HIS HANDS GUIDED HER HIPS 😫😫😫😫
- ln4andop81 THE WHISPERING IN THE EAR???
- mclarensgirly BRUH I JUST KNOW LANDO SAID SOMETHING SO GODDAMN QUESTIONABLE BY THE LOOK OF Y/N’S FACE
- f1fan2 bro literally moved his hands up to the bottom of her boobs and down and then whispered some crazed shit in her ear and i died. THE PERSON WHO FILMED THAT VIDEO I LOVE YOU 😋😋
- ln4andop81 yeah i think its safe to say that lando norizz is definitely a myth.
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y/nnn so about last night.
Comments:
mclarensgirly ABOUT LAST NIGHT MY ASS
ln4andop81 girly had a whole video of her grinding on her bf leaked and her response is “about last night”. icon.
landonorris i had fun 😙
- mclarensgirly BYE
- ln4andop81 MANS IS INSANE
- f1fan2 so moral of the story lando basically fucked his gf in public and said “i had fun” NO SHIT
- mclaren dont think you understand the pr situation at hand 😀
- mclarensgirly NOW IM DONE FOR
- ln4andop81 MCLAREN ADMIN IS FIGHTING ON THE FRONT LINES RN
maxverstappen this is why i said to not drink too much
- y/nnn YOU PUT THE DRINKS IN. MY. HAND.
- landonorris i think your exact words were “next round on me?”
- kellypiquet i am afraid babe that you did in fact do and say both of those things
TWITTER
Mclarenfan22 its the way lando pushes y/ns hips into him so she can be as CLOSE as possible
- circledriving-racers plz when i first saw that vid i rlly didnt think by the end of it i would know what lando looked like when he was clearly feeling some type of way
- ln4andop81 yeah bc the way he threw his head back when she started circling her hips against his spoke VOLUMES
- papayafan it had ME feelin some typa way and i wasnt even the one getting danced on
- ln4andop81 i feel like its prob for the best the vid ended before we could see them separate bc i feel like we wouldve seen LANDO and not lando if yk what i mean 😟
- papayafan a bone-
- mclarenfan22 we would rlly know EVERYTHING abt him at that point
- ln4andop81 im willing to bet a large sum of money (im broke) that hes big
- y/nnn is this where im supposed to “enter the chat”?
- ln4andop81 MAAM.
- mclarensgirly YES. SPILL THE TEA.
- f1fan2 YEAH DO THE PUBLIC A SERVICE AND TELL US ‼️‼️‼️
- y/nnn i think i would like to gatekeep this one girlies 💋💋
-mclarensgirly wow.
- ln4andop81 ill never get over how it girl she is.
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landonorris it was a great night and thats all i have to say abt it
Comments:
oscarpiastri UHHHHHHH
mclaren we cant catch a break ever
y/nnn BABE THE SIGN 😭😭
- landonorris i thought it really translated my thoughts 🙏🏻
- mclarensgirly BRO DOESNT GIVE A FUCK GAHDAMN
ln4andop81 so i guess the question rlly is: did the sign become reality?
- landonorris what do you think 🤭
7K notes · View notes
stxrvel · 2 months ago
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remorse (5)
series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader... or not? content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! curse words, flashback, a lot of remorse, fights, stubborn people, lack of communication, angst. a/n. its finally here. i haven't re read this chapter bc im almost falling asleep and i have to work tomorrow, but i'll give this one another look in the weekend. a friend of mine helped me with the traduction bc i'm really really burnt out rn. also, chapters names changed!! i hope you guys like this one! see you on the next one🫶🏻
series masterlist | bts masterlist | previous | next
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“Oppa…”
Yoongi raised his head, his body leaning toward the piano acknowledging your presence in the room, and you could tell how he was physically struggling to move away from the instrument. Under his watchful gaze, you walked in his direction shuffling your feet, with a pitiful expression and every intention of openly complaining to one of the elders in your group of friends. But you relaxed your expression when you were a few steps away, recognizing his notebook on the piano lid and the trail of ink between his fingers at a safe distance from the keys.
His laughter confused you, and when you looked up, his lips were curved into a pretty smile. It was annoying. He was only two years older than you.
“What happened now?”
You remembered that you had come with a purpose, but your mind, as evasive and suggestible as ever, found more interest in what your eyes had caught.
“The usual,” you barely commented, moving to sit on your legs in front of Yoongi. “Were you writing?”
Yoongi glanced over to find his notebook, his shoulders shaking in a sigh because he knew he wouldn't be able to escape this conversation now that you had discovered him.
“Something like that…”
“Can I see it?”
“It's nothing decent. I don't think it's prudent.”
You pressed your lips together at his response, letting your shoulders droop, disappointed. But it was what you had expected; after all, Yoongi was quite secretive about his notebook, and it was rare for him to let you get this close and know so much about him. Even though you had probably known each other since you learned to swim and multiply, and surely knew more skeletons in his closet than he would like to admit, Yoongi still had a reluctance to show you or anyonw his writings. You had to catch him at a very relaxed moment.
So you set aside your emotions, not allowing Yoongi to respond as you pouted, and crossed your arms while turning your head away.
“Taehyung and Jungkook got so competitive on the court that they kicked us all out,” you frowned, remembering how the two had rushed past you and stolen the ball in the blink of an eye, moving so quickly and with cheeky laughter that you barely understood what was happening until you saw them tussling with the ball in front of the scoring area.
They were already in extracurricular hours, and although everyone had subjects to study and delve into, they decided to take a moment to take advantage of the fact that the school court would be empty and play for a while. Jin and Namjoon had left the game after two quarters because they simply couldn't keep up, and since one was in your group with Jimin and the other with the two kings of competition that day, they decided to kick them out and leave them as referees along with Hobi, who was the initial one.
Surprisingly, Yoongi also didn’t attend the game or his extracurricular class, choosing to get lost in the music room, taking advantage of the fact that it was empty that day because classes ended early.
“I don’t understand why they have to ruin everyone’s fun.”
Your little thirteen-year-old self, ignorant of many aspects of life, could only cross her arms and complain. Yoongi smiled, his two extra years of age giving him an understanding that perhaps you didn’t have access to, because it was inconceivable to you that such a sacrilege could be considered funny. Basketball hours were sacred!
“They're just messing around.”
“Oppa, you should've seen how they were pushing each other,” you shook your head, refusing to believe that Yoongi really wanted to defend them. “If you had been there, you could've stopped them.”
“And Jin?”
“He was laughing with them.”
“Ah,” Yoongi turned his head. “So the second best option was me?”
You shrugged. “Well, I thought I could convince you to go to the court, but…”
“But…?” Yoongi rested a hand on the bench, leaning in to see you on the floor.
“Maybe it’s more fun to listen to you play the piano.”
You smiled brightly, intertwining your fingers while Yoongi wore a half-smile. Without responding, he straightened up again, adopting the posture he had when you saw him through the glass of the door, before you interrupted his concentration. His fingers danced in the air for a few seconds, touching the notes in his head, recalling sound after sound, until the pressure on them gave way to a melody unknown to you.
It had to be a new piece, a new composition in his notebook. Yoongi played, calm and serene, focused and absorbed, letting the sound flow as if it came directly from nature.
Seeing Yoongi like this was… a strange event. Later, as time passed, you would think it was unbearable to have to see him everywhere, to hear his name around every corner, but at that moment you were lost in him, absorbing the sounds of his mind that his fingers materialized on the piano, allowing yourself to be carried away by the tide of his emotions, the way he conveyed so many words with his touches. The fast and slow notes, the change of tempo, all so meticulously created and organized to send a message, to describe an emotion, to paint a scene.
Yoongi was scared. Perhaps nervous, even. When he finished his piece, you could only look at him in awe, his shoulders moving a little faster due to the intensity with which he finished, keeping his head down, as if processing what he had just done. His fear was palpable, his hopelessness and unease.
“Oppa?”
“I don’t know…” he paused, dropping the lid over the keys and taking a calmer posture. “I don’t know if I’ll do the right thing when I graduate.”
“Why?” your brow furrowed, and you leaned forward in concern. “You’ve always talked about it. And you have a lot of talent, oppa, I know you’ll make it.”
Yoongi gave a nearly pained smile, as if he understood something you had no idea about.
“Jin is going to medical school.”
“I know. But it’s what he’s passionate about,” you moved closer to your friend, trying to give him some of the support he always gave you. “Isn’t music what you’re passionate about?”
The black-haired boy frowned. The answer was clear in his eyes, in the way he played the piano until he was breathless, but the gestures of his doubts were there too: when his fingers trembled with anxiety, his eyes gaining more shine as the seconds passed.
“Oppa,” you called, trying to break the silence, trying to prevent his thoughts from eating him alive. “If it’s what you love, you’ll succeed. I’m sure of that.”
You saw how the haze in his eyes disappeared, his features relaxing at least a little.
“I probably only have your support. I’ll have to rely on that.”
His small smile constricted your heart. In that moment, you didn’t know what you could do to show him that it was enough, but you were also unaware of the reality that his words held. It was probably due to your age, the age difference with Yoongi, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he would never be completely satisfied with that. You wondered if it was about you, just for a second, recalling the way he smiled when some of the other boys gave him words of encouragement.
Maybe he was just more vulnerable with you than with the others, but a thirteen-year-old's reasoning didn't go that far.
With your foolish conclusion, you came home that day with a heavy heart.
-
Speaking of loose ends and unresolved issues, there were some specific people who deserved to take home the award and the crown for the most intrigue of the century. Because when you entered Choi Dohyun's office, with Seojun and Yuna on either side, even knowing that there were things still pending answers and others you could barely understand, the last thing you expected was for those you weren’t even aware of to suddenly materialize, like a kick to the stomach.
But keeping your head high and your composure was something you had lacked the last time, and thus, against all odds, your face showed no emotion when you caught a glimpse of Min Yoongi storming out of the office looking angry, not even when his eyes moved towards your figure and his wires crossed for a millisecond, betraying his movements. The sound of his shoes against the floor didn’t even distract you, keeping your gaze fixed on the man who appeared behind the door, with a huge smile on his face and eyes that screamed that signing this contract might take more from you than it would give.
Min Yoongi flanked you, a nearly imperceptible gasp of surprise escaping him as you passed by his side, not even giving him a glance of acknowledgment over your shoulder, as if he were less than a mere insignificant dust particle, and he collected himself as best he could to keep walking, ignoring the astonished looks your companions shot him.
You flashed the biggest smile, a feeling of anger settling deep in your stomach, and you shook hands with Choi Dohyun, who was cheerfully introducing himself with a voice an octave higher than usual.
You didn’t miss the way he shot a glance down the hallway, where Min Yoongi should have been disappearing, and the bitter sensation in your throat intensified.
“Well, don’t take it the wrong way, I’m very happy because we finally have this,” Yuna beamed, raising the envelope with the contract as if it were her most cherished possession, just as they exited the large publishing house and the cool afternoon air greeted them, “but did we just see the damn Min Yoongi leave that office?”
You simply sighed, feeling the tension radiate from your brother’s body, who hadn’t separated from you since the moment you were ushered away by Choi Dohyun's secretary.
“That was… wow. I don’t even have words.”
Seojun rolled his eyes, and you had to suppress the urge to pinch his side when Yuna turned to look at you with the envelope in her hands while you all waited to see your father’s blue car navigate the avenue.
“Do you think… this means we’ll have more opportunities to meet the seven gods of Olympus than most people?”
Her smile made you feel nauseous, but out of her ignorance, you could do nothing but try to mimic it. Seojun, on the other hand, was making nothing but irritated faces.
“Maybe, if you work harder.”
Yuna let out another squeal of excitement, and you took a deep breath when she turned around to look at the cars again. Seojun wrapped his arm around yours, glaring at anyone who came too close, even by accident.
Your friend kept murmuring in disbelief, and all you could think was that she was probably holding in her hands the worst decision you had ever made.
-
Whatever the reason for your encounter with Min Yoongi, you had deduced that your bad luck came down to being out of the house. Putting a foot outside the holy altar of your home was proving lethal for your emotional stability, so you spent the rest of the day locked up, managing your social media and overseeing deliveries.
Dohyun had agreed that the publishing house would handle the entire printing, packaging, and shipping process of the books, as purchases were only growing with each passing day. His real offer was to leave you with nothing to do but continue planning your stories, because at that moment, you were a goldmine for him.
“Unbelievable! Jung Hoseok revealed the truth behind the distancing of the Korean entertainment dynasty.”
The voice coming from Yuna’s phone caught your attention. You lifted your head from the blank document on your computer screen, glancing sideways at your friend, who was comfortably sprawled on your bed with a furrowed brow and a conflicted expression, as intrigued as she was worried about what she had just heard.
“These past few days have been tough for the kings of entertainment, as the last public sighting of them was over a week ago when Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, and Jeon Jungkook left the businessman’s building and enthusiastically greeted all their fans. As good followers, we know it’s too strange not to see them often, and the last time this happened was when Jung Hoseok had the accident that prevented him from continuing to play professional tennis.”
Yuna looked intensely focused, biting her nail and awaiting the climax of the video. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, but you couldn’t deny you were a bit curious about what news they would share, knowing that the boys weren’t ones to openly discuss their private matters.
“With their reputations at stake and rumors flying back and forth [how exaggerated], Jung Hoseok had to come out to clarify the situation. His official statement, which was informally published on the famous app Whotalks, said: ‘We’re all fine. Please be patient with us.’ Whether his statement implies misunderstandings among friends that are in the process of being resolved or if we should wait for an official statement from their leader, we’re not sure. But it’s concerning the—”
“Why would they make such a big deal about this if they aren’t even sure what that post implies?”
Yuna paused the video, giving you a confused look, surely thinking you were immersed in whatever you were doing on the computer (nothing), too busy to pay attention to these “insignificances,” as you used to say.
“Y/N, you really have no idea of the magnitude of power these men hold over the entertainment industry. With a snap of their fingers, they could shake everything.”
“And why did they get so much power?”
“They earned it. Through their hard work.”
You couldn’t help the huff that escaped you. You didn’t find what Yuna had said funny because it was true; they had worked incredibly hard to achieve what they had at that moment. At least you knew that their beginnings had been humble. But it annoyed you, inevitably, because you couldn’t control the resentment shaking in your chest. Healing my ass, you hadn’t forgotten anything from the last few years, no matter how much you wanted to convince yourself otherwise. So much effort to force them out of your life, only for them to find a way to disrupt it again in a week as if they had some right.
What a bunch of audacious—
“Oh. A message came in.”
Your friend sat up on the bed, and you sent her a confused look.
“Messages come in every second, Yuna.”
“It’s from a verified account.”
Without lifting her gaze in your direction, you froze in your chair.
“Oh—”
Oh no.
“No fucking way—” Yuna stood up in the bed, exclaiming loudly: “Kim Taehyung is in your DM's!”
“Tell him to go to hell.”
“¿¿Huh??”
The words slipped out before you could think twice. From the tense way the words left your mouth, you could tell Yuna was torn between asking more or simply contradicting you. Her eyes moved from the screen to your face, her fingers moving almost imperceptibly over the device.
“You know, every time you make it harder to understand what’s going on with these people.”
Finally, she locked her phone and dropped it on one of your pillows. You had never been a fan; your friend understood that. She had never questioned you about it… except for that random afternoon in this same room when she asked too many questions, but after the encounter with Yoongi that afternoon, you wondered what moment or what would need to happen for her to stop believing that it was just a matter of taste differences and for you to have to tell her the truth.
Before everything that happened a week ago, you had never considered it necessary to talk about it because so much time had passed, and you believed you were at a point where things related to them really didn’t affect you anymore, nor would you ever have to interact with them again to warrant giving your friend a statement. But of course, things were different now, and emotions would continue to clash with one another, and you hated to think that their attitudes meant they were trying to return to your life, or at least get involved to some extent, which would imply, strongly, that you would have to tell Yuna what had happened.
“Have you ever thought that you might have run into him if you had gone to the convention?”
“Yeah...” you sighed in defeat. It was impossible not to consider that alternative, how things might have turned out. If you would still have this overwhelming resentment in your chest or if they would have carved their way back into your heart once more.
The foolish you at eighteen would be thrilled right now.
“And even with that doubt... don’t you have even a little curiosity about what he says?”
You preferred not to, to be honest. You would rather just rip out every memory from your head with tweezers to be able to return to a semi-normal life, where your biggest worry should be saving enough for a trip and not when those damn lunatics were going to leave you alone.
But you found yourself stretching out your arm to take the phone when Yuna handed it to you, a grimace of insecurity settling on your face.
“I’m not going to ask,” Yuna spoke, and you sent her a glance just as she turned on the bed and took her own phone to continue watching her celebrity gossip. “I’m not going to pressure you.”
You didn’t respond. You lowered your gaze to the device in your hands, feeling a mix of relief and bitterness. Well, at least she had given you the opportunity to worry about that later.
The screen lit up, and there it was. A new message from Kim Taehyung.
thv Hi. It’s Jimin.
Huh?
You ?
The read notification arrived almost instantly after you replied. With your brow furrowed, you watched the bubble appear from his side of the chat.
thv I’m sorry for writing from Tae’s account, but you blocked me
Ah. Ah. Right.
After receiving the notification that Jungkook had followed you a few days ago, and especially because he had shown up at your work out of nowhere short after that, you had blocked everyone else with an Instagram account, just to be safe.
A small detail.
You Oh, yeah
That Jimin was trying to contact you, considering the context of the whole situation, wasn’t too outrageous. When you studied together, apart from being the first to start teasing others and fostering friendly banter, he was also the first to try to fix things because he couldn’t stand hostile and tense environments. It’s not that you thought he had a chance to fix anything now, but maybe you were a little interested in what he had to say. After several days, it was inevitable not to feel curious, right?
After the bubble appeared and disappeared several times, the message finally arrived.
thv Do you think we could talk in person?
You No.
thv I promise it'll just be me
You No.
thv It can be anywhere you choose
You I said no If you have something to say, write it If you don’t have anything interesting to say, then I’m going to block this account too
thv No Wait Okay.
The sound of Yuna’s phone had faded into the background of your mind. You kept your eyes on the typing bubble, fearing that maybe Jimin would change his mind and decide not to respond to the questions swirling in your head. Now that he was being so persistent, you were more eager to know. I mean, it was the least you deserved, right? Some kind of answer, some kind of reason, a why. Something to explain everything, because the root of that growing resentment in your chest was due to their lack of communication, to their ease in discarding you like a worthless piece of paper, not even caring if the air swept you away or the rain destroyed you.
They owed you something, and you had the right to an answer. You could have moved on, yes; you thought you had, yes; living with resentment in your heart affected a person’s life, yes... but God would be the only living being on earth and in the universe who wouldn’t feel even a pinch of pain for everything that had happened. For the inexplicable disappearance, for the disconnection, for the destruction of an incredible blind trust that was woven with that friendship you believed to be unconditional but ended up being one-sided. Who could really blame you for being cautious of them?
If when you cultivated that friendship, that friendly love, the fruits they returned to you were rotten, how could you simply trust? Who could?
thv I’m sorry for what happened. I know this was very abrupt, and it must have been strange for you
Strange, for lack of a better word. Strange was a euphemism.
thv I apologize on behalf of everyone.
You I’m not interested
thv If we could meet in person, I could explain better
You I’m not interested. That wouldn’t change anything.
thv I know this goes beyond what happened this week, but I don’t want you to have a bad impression
You You’re a damn audacious one, Jimin Do you think it’s only the latest thing that would make me see you all negatively? Is that the only thing you’ve done? Or well, what you haven’t done either
thv Okay, I expressed myself very poorly I know we were already on bad terms before; I meant that I didn’t want it to get worse
You Well, honestly, I didn’t think it could get worse until now.
thv I’m making it worse
You Wow, apparently you do have awareness and common sense For many years, I thought you lacked that
You blocked the phone, letting it drop onto the table, your heart racing because of the audacity that man had to refer to what had happened as if it were just a silly childhood memory, as if it had simply been a stupid basketball game where you weren’t allowed to play. That only reinforced your thinking, the only plausible reason you had given life to over the past few years, the only explanation you had for their disappearance: that they never cared about you as much as you did about them; that you were never truly fundamental in their lives. Because, come on, they had built a friendship and shared memories before you appeared on the scene; they knew each other beforehand with a depth you could never reach, long before your name reached their ears. They had a connection; you were never ignorant of that; there was something in them that kept them united, something that made them understand each other almost on a spiritual level, and naively, you believed they had made you a part of it; that you had managed to be part of that connection.
But no, it was never like that. It was always one-sided. Whether you were a game, a case of charity, or someone they simply couldn’t say no to, you had no idea, but none of those options felt too foreign to reality. Especially considering the way Jimin referred to the past as if it had been a child's game and nothing more. There was never more for them. You should've known that.
thv I’m really sorry, y/n I truly wish I could talk to you in person I promise I can explain many things
His messages shone on the lock screen, and more than feeling curious again, you felt rage. So now they could talk. Now they could fucking communicate. Where was that willingness ten years ago? Five years ago, even? You never thought you would see any of them so willing to offer you what you had longed for, maybe at least to finally bring closure to the whole situation.
But you didn’t want to give them the right to become the victims in this situation. They had time to do something, yes, now you knew, and they simply chose not to; it was high time you really let it go. Let them go. What would an explanation fix now? When, if there was still something of the friendship you built, it should've crumbled to dust. Their willingness now meant nothing. If you ever saw any of them again, you would rather rip their hair out in a fit of rage.
You Fuck you Fuck all of you
And you blocked Taehyung’s account.
Anticipating any possibility, you also blocked Jungkook and hoped that would be the end of it.
Finally, you would try to seek true healing, because it was about damn time.
-
You y/n, I'm so sorry y/n? y/n????????????????
Oh no. Taehyung's going to kill me.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Speaking of the king of Rome.
Park Jimin flinched, tightening his fingers around the phone he was holding, which clearly wasn’t his, literally caught red-handed. He swallowed hard when his friend’s footsteps drew closer, circling around to face what he feared most.
“Jimin...” Taehyung began, his confused expression turning into caution, quickly shifting his gaze between the phone and the wide-eyed blonde. “Tell me you didn’t do it.”
Jimin shrank even more, pursing his lips, realizing there was no escape. In his defense, he had fervently believed for a moment that he would succeed. Taehyung hadn’t agreed from the start, especially given how angry Yoongi had been that afternoon when he arrived at the penthouse and how he had locked himself in Namjoon’s office, and the tone of their voices hadn’t diminished for even a second, especially not when Jin arrived an hour later.
Taehyung and Jimin weren’t sure what had happened, but considering the recent events, they could make an educated guess.
It all led back to you.
They were surely paying for what they did.
“I told you it was a terrible idea!” Taehyung strode closer and snatched the phone from Jimin’s tightly clenched hands. Jimin let out a defeated sigh, sinking back against the couch as Taehyung began to scroll through the messages, growls escaping his throat.
“I didn’t think she’d be so...”
Jimin hesitated, and when he turned to look at his friend, his furrowed brow silently asked, “are you serious?”
Another defeated sigh escaped him.
“You’re not fixing anything. If Namjoon finds out about this...”
Taehyung didn’t finish his sentence, but Jimin understood. But could any of them really blame him? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone! No one was a saint in that place when it came to you. At least he had the decency to try to explain things when the others just charged in as if nothing had ever happened (for now, Taehyung and Jungkook, simply because he still had no idea what had happened with Yoongi).
The problem, of course, was that Jimin was better at comforting someone in person than through messages.
“There's no going back from this.” Taehyung murmured, still focused on the screen. The shine in his eyes gave Jimin an idea of what was going through his mind, and he remained silent until Taehyung looked up. “We really messed up.”
“Did you need this reality check?”
“Did you?” Taehyung frowned. “I don’t know why you expected a different response.”
“Well, what did you expect to happen doing what you did?”
Jimin watched his friend click his tongue.
“What did you expect me to do? I didn’t think it would snowball like this.” Taehyung shook his head, and Jimin barely recalled with a shudder how the atmosphere had felt in the penthouse after Tae had posted that story about your books on his Instagram. “I just wanted...”
Once again, Taehyung chose to remain silent, but in his absence of words, Jimin understood.
To make up for it.
“Obviously, I’m not going to say anything,” Taehyung added, shooting a sideways glance at his blonde friend. “After whatever happened with Yoongi, I don’t even want to imagine how Namjoon would react if he finds out about this.”
“If he finds out what?”
Jimin and Taehyung froze on the couch, watching through the reflection of the TV as the person appeared behind them before they could recognize the friendly yet concerned tone.
Jung Hoseok circled the couch, clearly troubled by what he had just heard. It was evident he had just returned from practice because his hair was wet and he looked somewhat flustered, his cheeks flushed despite the chilly weather that night. He dropped his training bag on one of the armchairs, and Jimin averted his gaze when he caught his friend's eyes. It wasn't that they usually kept secrets and tiptoed around the others, but ever since Jungkook had pulled that stunt of searching for you at work when Namjoon had expressly forbidden it, the waters between them had been a bit tense, and any topic involving you could explode any healthy and cooperative conversation in seconds.
Hoseok crossed his arms, allowing his cheerful expression at finally arriving at the penthouse to fade completely, hardening his features as he shot a stern look at the two young men.
Taehyung also averted his gaze. The moment he heard Hoseok's voice, he tucked the phone between his legs and probably looked tenser than he should have. He, just like Jimin, didn’t dare meet Hoseok’s eyes at that moment. Because Hobi had stopped at the door, and with whom they had in front of them, they couldn't hesitate. They both knew it, they both understood.
And Hoseok knew very well. He was aware of all the tricks the two shared and could sense from their silence that they were up to something. Besides, of course, their conversation had been overly revealing. They had to be thankful it was him who arrived in the midst of their confessions, and of course, he would demand to have a conversation of such gravity with such freedom.
But no, in that house, secrets were not kept.
“If he finds out what?” Hoseok emphasized the words, urging the stubborn young men to keep their mouths shut.
Hoseok then exhaled through his nose in a sigh.
“Is it about y/n?”
Jimin and Taehyung lifted their gazes, a bit tempted but diverting their eyes as if pretending to be uninterested. While the atmosphere had been very tense lately, Hoseok and Jin had kept themselves somewhat distanced from all that unease, mainly because their demanding jobs kept them away from the penthouse most of the time. Namjoon, for his part, couldn’t escape the topic as easily since he had an office at home, initially to monitor them in a healthy way, and now because he felt the need to keep an eye on each of them to prevent them from doing something stupid.
Yoongi... well, maybe he had tried to stay on the sidelines, but he had clearly failed miserably if he had ended up arguing with Namjoon and Jin.
“What did you guys do now?”
Hoseok's severe tone was chilling. Jimin remembered the times he had decided to participate in his dance classes, the few that he taught personally each month, and how he had felt Hoseok’s sharp gaze and his blunt comments about his steps in front of all the students. It was as if he became another person. Although it was terrifying, the two young men admitted it was refreshing to see him like that in the academy, because he had lost a bit of his spark since his accident. Before, he only looked that serene and committed when he was at his tennis practice.
At that moment, however, Jimin and Taehyung appeared more reluctant despite his severe attitude, because they didn’t know if he would spill the beans to Namjoon afterward.
“And what happened with Yoongi?”
The slight softness in his tone made Jimin lift his head. Still with his arms crossed over his chest, Hoseok sat across from them at the table in the center of the room.
Jimin sighed, and Taehyung shot him an alarmed look. Are we really going to give in this quickly?!
“We don’t know what happened with Yoongi. He just arrived in the afternoon, locked himself in the office with Namjoon, and they wouldn’t stop arguing. Then Jin came in, but that didn’t make them stop.”
Hoseok looked up, scanning the hallway. Now the house was silent, perhaps more grave and tense than usual. Hoseok didn’t know how it had come to this and hadn’t sensed that atmosphere immediately.
“Is Jin here?”
“I think he’s in his room,” Taehyung replied, shifting on the couch. “He stormed out of the office a while ago.”
Hoseok grimaced at the mere thought, causing a shiver.
“Then it is about y/n.”
Jimin and Taehyung once again averted their gazes.
“Oh, come on.” Hoseok uncrossed his arms, more frustrated than angry at that moment for not being able to fully understand what was causing so many arguments among his friends. “I’m not going to go talk to Namjoon later, regardless of what you tell me. I just want to understand.”
The two young men exchanged a glance, Hoseok believed, communicating mentally. It was always strange but interesting how those two could understand each other at such a level that often they didn’t even need a look. They could support each other's ideas without overthinking it, just like they were doing at that moment in front of him, and Hoseok couldn’t help but think that this topic could cause them more harm than they realized. That these two were even hesitant to share something with him now, fearing to do so, considering whom they could trust or not, spoke volumes about how this issue was being handled and it was not healthy at all.
Hoseok didn’t know that Namjoon had been arguing. The only time he had talked about that topic with the others was when Jungkook’s incident happened, because by crossing such a clear and blatant line, Namjoon saw the need to have a group meeting to set some ground rules. But whatever had continued to happen that he was unaware of was creating cracks in the trust of all the members, and that didn’t sit well with him at all.
“I wrote to her on Taehyung’s Instagram,” Jimin began, looking down with his hands intertwined on his legs. “And I might have made things a lot worse...”
“Might have?” Taehyung turned to look at the blonde, who barely raised his head to meet his gaze before Hoseok interrupted.
“And what did you say to her?”
Jimin pressed his lips together. “I asked if we could meet in person, and when she said no, I just tried to apologize for everything.”
“Don’t forget that you proceeded to carry out a rather undisguised gaslighting.” Taehyung added.
“I didn’t manipulate her!”
“You spoke to her as if everything that happened didn’t matter at all!”
“That’s not how it was! I just expressed myself very poorly,” Jimin exclaimed, facing Taehyung’s accusations, who remained with his arms crossed and chin raised, clearly in disagreement with him. “You, more than anyone, know that I don’t communicate well through text.”
“Because you overthink everything. You didn’t even need to text her in the first place. I told you it was a terrible idea. Now she hates us even more!”
“Did she say that?” Hoseok intervened.
Taehyung gave him a disbelieving look.
“And I quote: fuck all of you.”
Hoseok took a deep breath, trying to process the situation. Taehyung looked angry, and Jimin appeared offended that Taehyung was so upset about what he had done, in addition to misrepresenting his words, if Hoseok understood correctly. But the brown-haired guy had a point: it had indeed been a terrible idea, and Namjoon would lose all his hair if he found out. He understood Jimin’s motivation for trying to reach out, but Hoseok felt Jimin had lost some tact in the process by approaching you just to find a quick solution. Clearly, the atmosphere in the penthouse was affecting everyone, and not in a good way. He couldn’t judge or blame Jimin for trying to lighten the situation for both parties, even if he could have approached it differently.
So Hoseok sighed, understanding the magnitude of the problem they had, and turned to the two young men who were now looking at him attentively, after recently avoiding his gaze as if their lives depended on it.
“How did you think you were going to meet her with the level of fame you have?”
Hoseok knew Jimin had acted on impulse, and perhaps addressing the underlying reasoning would make him think better next time, if there was one.
Jimin opened his lips slightly, confused.
“I... I don’t know, but I would've found a way.”
Taehyung scoffed. That would have been impossible because, surely, only after Jungkook, Jimin was one of the most recognizable faces in the industry and, therefore, couldn’t walk freely down the streets without having a horde of fans behind him within seconds. If, for some divine reason, you had agreed to meet with Jimin, then he would have exposed you too much to the public eye and you would have had more problems before getting any answers.
“There’s no way, Jimin.” Hoseok spoke, as the blonde shot a fierce look at his brown-haired companion. “We’re no longer in a small town.”
The two young men turned to the elder, putting their silly squabbles aside. A feeling of nostalgia and longing filled the air, embracing them and bringing to the surface poorly buried memories in the gardens of their minds; the gusts of Hoseok’s words uncovered them easily.
“We can’t afford that luxury now. We lost the opportunity a long time ago.” Hoseok reminded them, with a hint of discord in his voice.
Taehyung hated remembering those times. Having had his hands tied, sealing his mouth voluntarily, believing he had no other option... it completely sickened him. For a long time, regret had physically drained him.
“I won’t talk to Namjoon, don’t worry.” Hoseok assured them, and although the two young men should've breathed with relief, the truth was that they already felt too shaken. “But be more careful about where you talk about these things.”
“What things?”
“Fuck!”
Taehyung jumped off the couch when the voice came from his right, being the closest to the source. The three friends turned to see Yoongi, walking down the hallway from his room to the main living area of the penthouse.
“Are you guys sharing secrets?”
Instead of being scared, Jimin and Taehyung fell back onto the couch, letting out an exhausted breath. Yoongi shot a confused look at Hoseok, who returned it with a more severe expression.
“Come here, Yoongi. We need to talk.”
-
i hope you guys enjoyed! and thanks to my friend for helping my unresponsive overworked ass.
[Friend: I don't know if the tags worked. I'm sorry!]
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