#im grateful for your worries

[themisterhip]

Do you still draw for genos and saitama!?

I miss them!

*GASP*

I HAVE FAILED THE OPM FANDOM!!- Nah, just kidding. XD

Ofcourse i still drew for them! I am (and will forever) in the opm fandom, i love this series and fandom sm <3. And i totally understand your worries, i've just been joining more fandoms without leaving the previous ones, so i have to keep up with 3 or 4 different themes shjshsh

Ironically, they are the ones i have more ideas to draw (a whole ass excel document my guy) and now that i'm also busy with personal life and comissions, i couldn't bring much food to the table T-T

Tho don't you worry about that, they'll always have a special place in my heart and pages <3

[yingren]

happy halloween i'll be spending the night in a haunted house called my drafts and inbox

[odetolovers]

everyday i wake up and have to repeat in the mirror "babe you're not cursed you're just in your twenties"

[shakingparadigm]

i loved your take on ivan’s character.

if you have the time, i’d love to hear your analyses on all the other alien stage characters. i’m aware that there are some characters we still don’t have enough information on, but from what we know so far i’d still love to hear your interpretation of them.

you don’t have to post them all under this ask because i imagine that’s a lot to cover under one post lol, but whenever you’re able to gather your thoughts maybe you can post an analysis for each character individually? or alternatively you can do an analysis for each pairing since the characters are heavily intertwined with their respective partner’s. whatever is convenient for you.

Thank you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. It means a lot to me.

I'll try my best to gather my thoughts on the other characters (though I'm not sure when, it might take a while) eventually! I already have some posts that expand on my thoughts about certain aspects of them, and those ideas will probably be echoed in the individual posts as well.

[throwaway-settings]

biting. biting. biting.

[todayisafridaynight]

You probably don't want to talk about Ebina anymore butttttt as someone who absolutely ADORES Aoki and Sawashiro, I also felt very strongly about this shit. Like of all of the people to have be Ebina's father, Arakawa was the worst fucking person for it because it also doesn't make sense for the timing either. Like you're telling me Mr "massacres an entire clan for his woman" slept with another woman other than Akane around the same time??? Like I get he was young but like that shit is never explained? Just here ya go, here is someone related to Ichi because?

Honestly I feel like RGG felt like they fucked up in killing off Masato but wanted that dramatic parallel for no reason at the end of 7. It honestly would have been so easy to let Masato live since he technically died off screen anyway. During 8 I would just open up the character screen to look at Aoki or Sawashiro like look at what we had my dude.

I really enjoyed 8 in a lot of ways but others made me want to throw shit. Like I got way too excited seeing Sawashiro and then he fucked off for most of the game and then when he comes back, we don't even get much closure with him anyway? Just tortured and shit after he tried to redeem himself.

I dunno, sorry for dumping this here, I'm just an old lady yelling at the clouds cuz they fucked up with my boys

NO PLEASE YOURE TOTALLY VALID MY FRIEND LMAO i thought arakawa being the father- even if sensical from a quick glance- just made me agitated

like this is quite literally the same game we watch arakawa slaughter an entire clan and his patriarch because he loved this woman so much. i get that arakawa implied himself to be promiscuous over the years, but when he was with akane ? i also get that his patriarch could have REALLY been on his ass to be with his daughter, but arakawa made it clear he did all he could to turn her away (i.e. in his words, 'doing everything he could to avoid courting her'). clearly not enough if you ended up havin a kid with her By Accident lmao

it does conjure up a funny mental image of just. arakawa going home to akane like 'babe i had to fuck my boss's daughter today it was terrible :((((' but being tbh about it its just so jarring from what we knew

im a broken record in saying making ebina related to arakawa was literally for nothing but it was literally For Nothing. i dont think aoki could have had a significant plot point in 8 if he lived but it would have been preferable to just have him sit in jail if it meant we didnt get ebina LOL

[oh-gh0st]

shinrei's favorites...

like animals, foods, drinks, hobbies, weather, time of day, season, other things u can think of.... if ur ask box is still open for these that is

asks will be open for a bit!! i will post when they're closed, so you're all good! :]

Animal: Cats are definitely a favorite, but she's a really big fan of bats and possums! She finds them to be the most interesting out of the animal kingdom. Foods: For a more general answer, definitely savory, sweet, and spicy foods, but a definitive answer would probably be something along the lines of Kinpira or Imagawayaki! Drinks: A very big tea drinker, with the occasional boba milk tea will also be one of her favorites Hobbies: I do think she'd be into crochet or wood-carving if she's allotted enough personal time outside of work. She has a collection of animals she's carved out of different woods on a shelf in her bedroom somewhere... Weather: Crisp and warm, but not too warm, since she likes to layer clothing (it helps her be grounded into the earth more as she would say it!) Time of day: definitely the late hours of the night to early hours of the morning, since the time when her days are mostly at peace. Season: LOVES the winter. More warm clothing, layers, and obviously no scorching hot temperatures or bugs to be worried about! Etc: I think she'd probably be into photography! She's the kind of person that would want to save physical memories of special occasions rather than just looking back at them, as it means a lot more to her. again TY FOR THE QUESTIONS <33

[moontaylorhere]

"[in that] moment I knew,

I'd no choice but to love you."

[hipsofsteel]

tomorrow is my first day of being actually gainfully employed (its a seasonal job but hey), and lord this girl is nervous.

not so much about the work because its training day tomorrow, but because i am the proud owner of a stick shift car now and i have to drive it into the nearest metro, almost all the way to the international airport also im not sure what im packing for lunch

[aleisters]

are ppl really discoursing about raphael's hair. i haven't seen that but that's genuinely so funny if so?

[generationua]

are you safe? did something happen? please respond, it's dangerous in there.

- c

Hi charlie! whats up? why is it dangerous?

-Unus

[ii-zi]

She gets incredibly sentimental while telling me all about her family not letting her rest with the "you're so much like [me]" with every step she takes, and I can tell it both means a lot to her and makes her uncomfortable

But to me she's so so so very much like my little sister.

They carry their grief in the exact same way they beg to be loved in the exact same way they're going through the exact same thing at the exact same time and I'm utterly powerless to help either of them

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY FOR HARASSING YOU AS YOU WERE ALREADY REBLOGGING IT GJKHKSFJLS

But yes. Yeah. I cannot believe I'm acting this unhinged over a little ant-sized guy milling about but I am. The ahoge is very much the key, but it also feels like... it disappears depending on the frame? That's why I'm not confident, aside from being unable to make out the nose. IMO he also has very distinctive ears, as do most RGG characters (that's partly how I was able to identify RGGO Joon-gi before he was revealed), so it sucks not being able to line those up.

It is possible I shouldn't have used Hijikata or wasn't able to line everything up perfectly though, because there definitely are differences; I would say Mine's features are a bit more delicate and youthful. So seconding that you're not crazy!

Also you Can and Must say he's dressing like a dweeb, his initial concept art was rejected for being "unbelievably garish" for a reason! This is half the fun and I say it with nothing but affection. (Miura pics for context)

I actually WAS gonna make a comment about the ears but I didn't want to sound too deranged (that's partially where my jaw hypothesizing came from as the length of the jaw could also skew the ears lining up). In any case, whether it is him or not, I'm absolutely super invested to find out who this is when LaD8 comes out (whether it turns out to actually be Mine or if it really is some random guy Kashiwagi decided to hire).

[inmirova]

feels like the universe (trans people I follow on tumblr dot com) is telling me I should get into tf2 again to spite my ex who tried to convince me playing it meant I was apparently cool with white supremacy somehow

[criminalamnesia]

Hiii!! I hope you're doing well :))

I just loveee the traitor series. Do you plan on making a part 5 or more?

thank you! here’s part five :)

the other parts can be found in my COD masterlist, which is here

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

I’ll proofread later :))

you stormed out of the gym, eyesight blurry from hot tears. you weren’t crying because you were sad— no. you were furious. furious at how simon was so fucking stubborn. at how he thought he was in the right.

droplets of blood marked your footsteps as you made your way back to the infirmary. you weren’t particularly anxious to be yelled at by the doctor, but getting it over with as soon as possible was ideal.

“bonnie, y’alrigh’?”

soap. you hadn’t even seen him, so lost in your thoughts. you blinked away tears and ignored the scot, continuing to make your way down the hall in silence.

the sound of hurried footsteps was unmistakable behind you. soap wasn’t taking silence for an answer, apparently.

“bonnie, please—” he began, the drawl of his voice catapulting your mind to the past. to better days.

days when soap had patched you up after a fight, his fingers nimble as he stitched up a cut in your thigh.

“s’it hurt?” he spoke, voice gravelly because of his hushed tone.

you shook your head. your head was tilted back, eyes staring up at the ceiling but not truly seeing. you were worried sick— you and soap were the only ones who’d made it to the safe house so far. the others should’ve beaten you there, and now they were over an hour late.

“bonnie, ‘m sure they’re alrigh’,” he told you, poking the needle through skin. you barely felt it, too hyped up on fear and adrenaline.

“they should’ve beaten us here, y’know that—” you began, but he tutted, quickly cutting you off.

“cannae think like tha’, bonnie. they’ll be here any second, aye?”

he stops his stitching, his face tilting up and away from your leg. you faintly register the feeling of his eyes on you.

you felt lost— floating in sea of numbness. your mind is mulling over the millions of possibilities— possibilities in which they never return.

you’d never felt this way before, and the five of you had endured far worse.

the only thing that was different this time was the fact that you and simon were together. you’d never explicitly told the rest of the task force, but they knew.

johnny knew why you were so worked up. he understood.

he reaches a hand up, his dirtied fingers lightly tilting your chin down so you’re face to face.

“y’there?” he asks, his hand dropping from your chin. he moves to squeeze one of your hands, pulling you back down to the ground.

you give a small nod, fingers moving to intertwine with his. he smiles— not his usual playful expression, but a true, grateful, relieved smile.

“im here,” you tell him. he releases your hand, pulling away from your skin, giving your hand a light pat before fully retreating.

“‘m almost finished, yeah? then I’ll go lookin’—”

“no need.”

it’s kyle, breathing heavily as he shuffles into the room. price and ghost are right on his heels, the three men making the room feel much smaller than it did a moment ago.

“you two good?” kyle asks, a small frown on his lips as he takes note of your bloodied leg.

you nod, your eyes flitting from gaz, to price, to simon— who is now moving towards you. he crouches down so he’s eye level with you. you meet his gaze, and although he doesn’t say it, you know what he’s thinking.

he’s relieved, and it’s a deeper relief than usual. it’s heavier, more profound, because he’s started to let you in. you’re more than teammates now, and it doesn’t truly hit ghost until this moment.

“im good,” you tell him quietly. he nods, glances down at where johnny is tying off your stitches.

johnny must notice ghost’s stare, because he breaks his focus and looks up at his lieutenant with a cheeky smirk.

“no worries, LT. made sure to do ma best work,” he grins and shoots the other man a wink, to which ghost grunts, unamused.

the heavy weight of a palm on your shoulder breaks you from the memory. you move without thinking, bloodied fist swinging as you whirl around to attack whoever laid a hand on you.

then you remember— soap.

johnny narrowly dodges your assault, his eyes widened as your fist barely clips him.

“steamin’ jesus!” he speaks, throwing his hands up in surrender and taking a step back from you.

“i was jus’ tryin’ to make sure ya were alrigh’! yer bleedin’, bonnie.”

you blink as you slowly escape your stupor. you’d completely lost yourself in the memory, and you didn’t know why.

probably because your brain was trying to comfort itself the only way it knew how— by seeking comfort from the people closest to you.

old habits, right?

old fucking habits.

“don’t touch me,” you seethe, eyes narrowing as you glare at the scot. he frowns, bites his lip, but doesn’t say anything.

like a kicked puppy. you can’t help but feel sympathetic before you wrestle that feeling back down. he wasn’t sympathetic for you— why should you be for him?

you look at him for a moment longer, taking in his appearance. he looks fine, and that angers you just the slightest bit more.

“look, i— i ken we really messed up, and sorry cannae fix tha’, but please, bonnie. a’least let us try—”

“I don’t owe you anything, mactavish.” you told him, gaze cold as you met his eyes. “and you’re right, sorry can’t fix it. nothing can fix it; so, stop trying.” you step forward, raising a hand as you point a finger into his chest.

“the four of you need to leave me the fuck alone. frankly, I couldn’t care less about how the four of you feel. about how he feels. you did what you did, believed what you believed, and now you have to live with that.”

johnny’s frown deepens as his eyes glance down at the finger you’ve got digging into his sternum.

“you deserve to feel like shit,” you tell him. “and anything you feel— how sorry you are— just know that I suffered a hundred times more in that chair, locked up in that room. so the next time you wanna watch me from outside the infirmary, or you wanna put your fucking hands on me,” your jaw is clenched, fire licking at your veins as you speak to him.

“remember what you did. remember that nothing can fix it. remember that you’re dead to me— all of you are— and that I never would’ve let that happen to any of you.”

“and I hope it hurts like hell, mactavish. I hope it eats you alive, and that you never find peace because you don’t deserve it.”

you drop your hand, your eyes still on his.

“and I hope you tell the rest of them I said that. especially him.”

you turn then, take a steadying breath, and keep walking.

soap watches you go without another word.

“that was stupid,” the doctor chastises you, her lips pressed into a thin line as she examines your knuckles.

“you blatantly went against my one rule for you. I shouldn’t have even let you out of bed, but you’re too damn stubborn! so I thought I’d give you some grace, but there you go— leaving my iv pole in the hall. bloodying your knuckles. I should let one of the newbies patch you up,” she grumbles, her gloved hands cool against your skin.

over the time you’d spent in the infirmary, you and the doctor had formed an odd bond. it was almost as if you were friends, but she always kept things strictly professional.

but you’d catch her giving you sad glances sometimes. you knew she was upset for you, angry for you, but she would never speak on it. that was okay with you.

it was enough to know that someone was on your side.

“sorry, doc. it’s not like it was planned,” you tell her, and her eyes flick up to meet yours. the look on your face told her everything she needed to know.

she didn’t push the topic. instead, she finished patching you up in silence. wrapping your knuckles in bandages, she gave them one last once-over before sending you on your way.

“kicking me out?” you asked her, raising your eyebrows.

she nodded, her eyes scanning the chart in her hands.

“if you’re okay enough to throw a punch, i think you’re okay enough to return to your quarters. unless you want to stay,” she says, and its unspoken, but you know what she’s implying.

unless you want to stay behind that door, guarded from the 141. unless you don’t want to go back to your quarters and see it as you’d left it before they’d tied you up.

unless it would be too painful to leave.

you shook your head. “im good. thank you, doc. really.”

the doctor gave a small smile and nodded. “of course. you’re due back in a week for a check up, alright? I need to check on those bruises and mending bones.”

you nod and give her a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “wouldn’t miss it.”

she bids you goodbye before turning and disappearing behind a white curtain. you inhale deeply before heading for the door.

when you step into the hallway, it’s quiet. you pass through base with relative ease, quickly slipping past anyone you come across in the halls.

you don’t see any of the 141, and you’re grateful. you couldn’t handle another interaction with them today— and you didn’t know how much longer you could remain civil.

once you reached your door, you pushed into the dusty darkness of the room. it’d been a while since you’d been in here, and although you were glad to finally be free of the smell and sounds of the infirmary, you weren’t particularly happy to be back in this room.

this room, which was down the hall from the rest of the 141.

this room, which held memorabilia of your time with your team.

this room, which you swore still smelled like simon.

you grit your teeth, willing yourself to stop thinking about him. he was fucking everywhere, and you were starting to believe you’d never be free of him and the 141.

your memories. your pain. your scars. no matter how much you healed and moved on from what happened, it would always be there in the back of your mind. it would sneak up on you when you least expected it; it would haunt your dreams at night.

it would leave you waking up screaming for mercy.

it would keep you untrusting for the years to come.

you flicked on the light and scanned the room. it had been upended, clothes strewn across the floor and picture frames shattered.

in the midst of it all, a vase of long dead flowers sits atop your desk.

there’s a little note hanging off the vase. against your better judgement, you reach for it. the paper feels scratchy against your fingers, and the scribbled pencil inside seems the tiniest bit faded.

your eyes scan the note.

‘You were right.

Hope you can understand.’

— sr

you pick up the vase and throw it against the wall. glass shatters. dead flowers fall to the floor.

your knees give out and you crumple to the floor, sitting amidst reminders of once was.

you let yourself cry for the first time in a while.

[bogkeep]

ok so actually i have a lot of thoughts on """traumadumping on your friends""""" VS "go see a therapist" that may seem pretty self-evident to me but maybe aren't as evident to everyone else, might as well share them:

i think there's been a bit of a language drift around what people mean by 'traumadumping'? i've seen people refer to pretty much any time anyone opens up about anything in any context as 'traumadumping'. what *i* always thought it meant was like, when someone, especially if it's some rando or someone you're not particularly close to, will just, well, dump all of their trauma on you in an inappropriate context/without respecting your boundaries or feelings about it. i think this happens a lot in parasocial relationships, especially online, where people with larger followings and fans may get a lot of messages from people in difficult situations wanting help and advice from a person they admire or relate to. the whole experience can probably be summed up as that one image of a tumblr anon in a car talking to a horrified fastfood employee who's not being paid enough for this.

opening up and talking to your friends IS good actually!!!! if you have friends who care about you, they DO want to hear about what you're going through, they DO want to be there for you!! people LIKE to help their friends!! i know that if someone seeks me out for advice, i feel honored and touched that they trust me. i personally do not think there's any topic out there that's "too much" to bring to a friend if you have a close enough relationship & consent. the THING is, your friends may not be *able* to help you. even if they happen to be trained therapists there's going to be limits to what they can do for you. seeking therapy is far from a perfect system, and often inaccessible, but in theory you should get to talk to someone who is equipped to deal with your stuff.

the consent part is important! i know people like to poke fun at clinical sounding scripts like "are you in a position to receive potentially triggering information" but like, asking people if they're ok with a heavy talk is a GOOD and USEFUL practice. in fact, having the option to say No to things is a fundamental cornerstone of any sustainable relationship. as i said, i love it when friends want my help or advice, i'm likely to drop whatever i'm doing and settle in for Emotions Talk right away - but that doens't mean i'm always available. i have a life and troubles of my own, and it's not fair to my friend if i can't give them the proper care and attention. also, a lot of us have Trouble Setting Boundaries. one might even get a bit burnt out or triggered by being the Advice Help Friend. if you've been the confidante of someone going through a really horrific and traumatic experience or a really bad mental health break to a point where it's affected your own life, you might have caught some trauma of your own. or if you've had a parent or family member (or overly familiar adult on the internet) treat you as a live-in therapist. or even if you've just been the Helpful Friend Everyone Goes To Advice For But Nobody Asks How You're Doing and you're okay with it because you're just happy you can be so useful to your loved ones and super not a burden to anyone ever, you can totally do this forever and haha resentment what resentment. it can feel so uncomfortable and selfish to make yourself Unavailable to someone who needs HELP but sometimes you Gotta before you crash and burn!!!

yes, if you're really close to someone and have pre-established boundaries & the kind of relationship where you feel safe saying "hey can we not talk about this right now please?" then you probably don't need to ask every single time you wanna talk about a thing. the better you know someone, the more familiar you will be with their moods and limits!

if you're in a relationship where someone tells you all of their troubles all the time and never wants to listen to yours, and that's like, the baseline, you might want to reconsider the relationship! i will always 1000% of the time support someone's right to set boundaries (as in, limits you set for yourself, not limits you impose upon others) - but that doesn't mean you have to settle for crumbs. not every connection we have with another person needs to be fully reciprocal and even all the time, it doesn't have to be transactional, but if someone makes you actively miserable and you don't want to be their friend or date them anymore... you don't have to! (you can of course, try to talk to them about it if you want - there might be a chance they simply did not notice this was a thing they were doing. it happens. but if the problem is that they're not listening to you at all... well.)

i'm not a fan of people using "go see a therapist" as an insult. or even people using it in the same way they would say "have you tried yoga?" to dismiss what you're saying. but i do think that, if your friends who love you ask if you're seeing a therapist, it's because they want to help you but don't know how. they want you to get helped. they love and care about you and it's scary when someone you love and care about is Struggling.

it's not always obvious to everyone else that you're Struggling if you haven't told anyone. it may be obvious to you because you're on the inside of your head, but most people don't analyse your every move and compare it to a database of your regular behaviours and expressions unless it's like, pretty drastic? sometimes all we want is for someone to check in on us and ask how we're doing and see us, but i don't think it's fair to resent others if they don't (not that we can always help resentment. pesky awful emotion). it's not because they don't care about you!!! it's just difficult to know what to do and when for everyone!!

something i've seen happen a Lot due to the commonplace existence of vent channels in discord servers is people who kind of... implode in a void of helplessness. lots of young people who have too little experience and support networks and too much trauma and don't realize how Bad things are until they're so bad that they can't be helped. it passes over, it does, but it's always an awful experience for everyone involved when someone is stuck in the despair hole screaming for help and every hand reaching out gets slapped away in rejection because they can't help. i... don't know if this is like, a pattern that can be fixed, but i think situations like these are much more likely to happen if you wait too long before reaching out.

talking to other people is good, regardless if it's a therapist or a trusted friend! it can be a preventive measure for things getting Even Worse. i know a lot of people struggle to talk about their stuff - talking means admitting there's a problem at all. asking for help is terrifying, because you may get rejected or bad advice or hurt. it sucks and it's hard and it sucks more and it's harder if someone can't listen to you right now, even if they have every right not to. we are however, a social species! we carry heavy burdens together when we can!! life is hard but we are capable of difficult things!!!

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer