#im gonna have an existential crisis when i get home

[axolotlinabottle]

The Barbie movie is exactly what I expected and it was fantastic, amazing, brilliant, stunning, sparkling, and pink! 10/10 I will be watching it again

[chaithetics]

yes yes yes i wanna see the barbie fic!!! i know im gonna love itttt -barbie anon

Porcelain and the Shark: Barbie Hosseinis

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

(reader has anxiety, no use of y/n, physical descriptions or other names but does have the nickname Porcelain/Porce - due to family viewing her that way not because of complexion)

Word count: 2.6K

Prompt: porce forcing stewy to take the day off to take her and the kids to see barbie… he buys the kids a new barbie toy each and buys porce some cute barbie merch… porce relates to barbie’s existential crisis…. and gets just a touch sad at the parts about mothers and their daughters… stew cheers her up by reminding her that she’s an incredible mom to the kids and she goes and sees oppenheimer with him the next day as a thank you. that’s all xo 🫶

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, wholesome fluff, existential crisis mention, some not great Roy dynamics are alluded to. Not beta read sorry!

Authors note: thank you so much for sending this through Nonnie and your patience, you're an angel! i really hope you enjoy this, please let me know what you think! There's a slight change, I actually don't think Stewy would be super into Oppenheimer for a few different reasons. I hope that's okay?! I hope you all enjoy this, I am sorry for the absence lately, enjoy and let me know what you think, I love engaging with you all via comments, reblogs, and asks! Live for them! Lots of love to all you tumblr hotties (you're all hotties) let's pretend the gif is a barbie reference lol.

********

You’re kneeling on the floor in Tillie’s room as you help your young daughter change into her outfit. It was cute but you hadn’t expected it to be so complicated to put on. Mainly because Tillie was so excited, wriggling and bouncing as she chatted, she couldn’t stay still for very long. After a couple of minutes you’d been able to finish up her outfit and kissed the top of her head as you finished putting her hair in the neat bun she’d asked for to match her new but beloved doll sitting next to her.

“Wow! You look amazing and you’re both matching! How cool!” You excitedly say to Tillie who giggles and nods.

“We’re both ready for space now!” Tillie exclaims as she grabs her astronaut Barbie doll.

“You can play with your toys now that you’re dressed, practice for space. I’m going to check on dad and Jonathan now, okay sweetie?” You place another kiss on top of her head and she nods, happily focusing on her toys again. It makes you chuckle how quickly she goes back to playing now that your interruption of dressing her is over.

You start to walk towards Jonathan’s room but pause when you hear Stewy’s voice coming from his home office, you think it’s odd that he’s in there as this was a day that he was meant to be completely offline from work and just for family. Changing the route to Jonathan’s room you walk to his office until you’re leaning against the door watching him. Stewy’s pacing back and fourth in his office as he continues his call with an earphone in. He looks at you and with a small smile before taking a sip from his morning cappuccino in a ridiculously tiny cup as he hums along to whatever is being said on the opposite end of the phone.

“Uh-huh, yeah, well yeah, we’ll just need to circle back to that later. Uh-huh, I’ve gotta go. Mmm, yeah, sure, bye.” He quickly ends the call, removing the earphone and placing it on his desk before turning to look at you as he carefully places his coffee cup down on the desk.

“You’re not in pink-” You start.

“Neither are you.” Stewy immediately quips back with a small teasing smile as he looks you up and down adoringly.

“Well no, I haven’t changed yet. I was getting the kids ready.”

“Okay, go get ready I’ll finish up whatever needs finishing up and then you can head out.” He says as he comes over giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“We head out.” You correct, emphasising the word as you’re already not a fan of the direction this was headed in.

“Honey…” Stewy says with a sigh and it’s clear that something has come up, he needs to cancel. The guilt is written all over his face like a ghost came up and tattooed it on as soon as you walked into the office.

“You promised.” You say rather bluntly. The work-life balance is important to you and after experiencing all that your childhood had to offer in terms of swinging between sheltered neglect and highly-criticised surveillance. You refuse the notion of having your children growing up without a father or experiencing the wonder and insult of what it’s like to have a father miss out on what’s meant to be memorable and special family days. You know Stewy isn’t like that, he’s just busy and he’s always there but you still can’t help but take it personally.

It almost feels like a childhood defense and you feel your lip quiver a little as you look at him, knowing he had promised this and now he was going to break the promise to you and your children.

“I know baby, but something’s come up at work and-” He continues with wide eyes, trying to diffuse the situation as he can see how upset it’s making you.

“I’m not happy about… I’m not happy about this Stew.” You admit quietly as you look down while leaning against the wall more.

“I know. I know. I’ll make it up to you and the kids, we’ll do something later on. I’ll buy them some more toys.” “You’re not becoming that father who uses money and presents to make it up to children.” You say softly.

“I won’t do that.” He chuckles and comes over to you and wraps his arms around you softly. “I love you and you’re so pretty, you know that right?” He presses a few soft kisses to your jaw and neck.

“You’ve said it before…” You whisper back, as he holds you in his arms.

“Mm… Good. I just wanted to remind you.” He whispers against your neck and you feel his breath and words tickle your neck.

“If you’re not coming, you’re the one who needs to break that news to their cute faces and you do owe them. And me.” You can’t help but sigh in his arms as you relax into him, finding comfort in his presence as you always do despite how you’re annoyed with him over this.

Stewy nods as he listens to your words, and caresses your back gently. “I’ll try…” He whispers, you know it’s less likely that he’ll actually end up working through the day and bailing on the much anticipated Hosseini family event of seeing the Barbie film with your young children.

Tillie then calls out for you and Stewy, you smile at him, squeezing his hand and walking with him, hand-in-hand into Tillie’s bedroom. Tillie jumps up when she sees her dearly loved parents walk into her bedroom and runs over with her doll. Some children had dinosaur phases, or princess phases but Tillie was one of those children who became obsessed with space as soon as her eyes could take in the moon and what it was. She had an astronaut Barbie in her hand which had become one of her most prized possessions since Stewy had recently brought it for her. It was in her hand at every playtime, bedtime, and seated next to her at each meal.

As Tillie jumps up to hug her parents, it is then that Stewy sees her outfit in full… Tillie is wearing an astronaut costume in pink. One that you’d spent a lot of time trying to find the right person to commission it and they had excelled. She was a cute little astronaut just as she wanted to be and it was perfectly in theme with the Barbie film that she was excited to see as well.

She ran over to her father and Stewy quickly picked her up, you could see his heart melting as he took in the sight of his precious daughter in her outfit, she looked adorable and Stewy loved how she was so young but already had dreams that were so out of this world.

Stewy swayed slightly while holding Matilda, he kissed the top of her head and smiled widely at her.

“Oh my God, look at you… this outfit is amazing….” Stewy said to Tillie with a smile. He pressed another kiss to her head and held her a bit tighter as he kept swaying with her. “Oh my…. Look at her! Look at her!” He said with the largest, most loving eyes to you and you couldn’t help but smile widely and nod. She was always cute and precious but this was an exceptionally cute look of Matilda’s. You also always appreciated seeing this moment between Stewy and Tillie, he was so in awe of her and she was in equal awe of her father as well. A polar opposite to what you and Shiv had known but it was what you wanted for your children, it was what every child deserved.

“How could you say no to that cutie, Stewy? You tease playfully, already seeing him mentally cave by her.

“I can’t… I can’t… I’ll make a call and then we’ll see Barbie, huh?” He says to Tillie and gives her a little nose bop which makes her giggle loudly and excitedly.

“Go change, dad Ken, not work Ken!” Tillie says with another giggle as she tries to boop her father on the nose in return. Stewy smirks and nods, kissing her forehead again as he swings her gently with a smile.

“What am I going to wear though? I need some pink, huh honey?” He asks Tillie and she smiles and nods.

“I brought you a pink turtleneck, it’s out in the room honey.” You say softly with a happy smile as you look at him, you couldn’t resist the chance to get him in theme and you always had a weak spot for Stewy in a turtleneck so this was just as much a treat for your family as it was for you. All just for different reasons.

“You’re a prize, babe. Thank you. Isn’t your mommy the best? I mean look at you and soon look at me and I’ll be just as cute huh?” Stewy kisses Tillie’s cheek and then puts her down and gives you a soft, loving, grateful kiss on the lips to say thank you for organizing that.

Stewy goes off to change and he looks so handsome in his pink turtleneck, you feel your cheeks immediately heat up as he comes back out. He kisses your cheek and whispers a sweet thank you.

************************

You, Stewy and your little Hosseinis all watch Barbie, everybody dressed up in theme in pink and looking like charming Barbies, Kens, and Allens. The children are all thoroughly engaged in the film and its bright visuals, there’s plenty of humor as well that’s sneaked in to appeal to adults which gets genuine laughs from you and Stewy.

You’re not quite surprised but you struggle for a moment as you feel quite touched, sensitive and yet vulnerable throughout several scenes of the film. This concept of identity, and having an identity that is separate from the men in your life, along with one that is separate to your identities as a wife, a mother, a sister, and a daughter. You can’t help but get teary at many of these scenes and think about what something like this means for your children, especially sweet Tillie, and the relationship between mothers and daughters. You love Tillie with all of your being, is that enough you wonder? It certainly wasn’t with your parents but that wasn’t the right love and you know it’s different with your children, you don’t let the thoughts in that your parents probably felt the same at some stage in. You’re already getting teary-eyed in this film, surrounded by those dearest to you, you don’t think you can quite handle an existential crisis right now.

Stewy notices your eyes becoming glassy with tears during these scenes and he snuggles a bit closer to you, pulling you into him more to gently kiss your cheek and squeeze your shoulder and hand. He caresses your arm gently from the first scene that brings you to tears and then throughout the rest of the picture.

“Hey, you’re a great parent… They love you more than anything, I’m in awe of you. You’re such a great mom.” Stewy promises as he whispers into your ear. You smile at him and tilt your head to kiss him softly on the lips.

*******

The children loved the film and it was a great family day that didn’t end in terms of quality time right after the movie finished. The children were all now tucked in bed and you were lying in bed now and Stewy had just finished brushing his teeth and was coming to lie in bed.

“Hi.” He whispered as he laid on the bed and looked up at you.

“Hey.” You smile back at him and can’t help but feel your cheeks heats up again, you loved him in the pink turtleneck but you also loved him out of it and any tops, just as much.

“And thoughts on the film that made all the men so angry?” He asks.

“I mean, it was a bit gentle on men, huh?” You say as you tilt your head to look at him.

“Uh-huh, far too gentle. It should’ve challenged my masculinity more than it did.” He says softly as he kisses your cheek and then your jaw gently with a smirk. “Ken did kinda feel like that incel-pipeline justification, right?” He says as he pulls away and looks at your face, Stewy starts to caress your arm gently as he leans back on the pillows.

You nod and smile. “Exactly! And you picked that up!” He chuckles at that and his cheeks heat up a bit as he continues to caress your forearm. “It still had some good stuff in it, Tillie really enjoyed it, ‘Yay space!’ Is going to be a new catchphrase for a while.” You say with a smile as you gently caress his cheek in return and giggle a little at the thought. That line alone and the acknowledgement of a Barbie in space was more than enough to make the day for Tillie and seal it as a classic for her.

“Astronaut Barbie was my favorite. Tillie and I have that in common now.” He says playfully and you can’t help but chuckle some more at that.

Stewy then leans back to grab his phone to do something that his mind has just thought of, you can’t help but feel curious.

“What are you doing?” You as with a smirk.

“I’m going to get one of those ‘I’m Kenough’ hoodies delivered to Kendall’s.” He says with a smirk as he taps away at his phone. You can’t help but laugh.

“That’s so thoughtful of you, he definitely needs it.” You laugh.

“Exactly, he really does.” Stewy says playfully, he finishes up, showing you an order confirmation email and then puts his phone down and kisses you softly on the lips.

“Since you’ve seen Barbie, does that mean I have to be your date to Oppenheimer now?” You ask as you look up at him. Stewy immediately scoffs and then laughs.

“No!” He laughs.

“No?” You ask with a small chuckle.

“I’m a dad, I’ve been exposed to the magic and art of Barbie and Bluey, why would I need to see Oppenheimer? Also it’s three hours long? It’s not for children, why would I go through those three hours?” He asks.

You smile and nod as you caress his cheek. “Very good points.” You whisper.

“How boring and convoluted must a film be to be three hours long? And if I have that much time for something shouldn’t I spend it with you and our angels?” You can’t help but smile widely at that.

“Isn’t it mandatory bro viewing now? What on earth will you talk about in the office on Monday?” You ask playfully before kissing him softly on the lips.

“I won’t watch a film because of peer pressure, if I felt insecure, I’d just read the Wikipedia plot and honey, I don’t get insecure.” He says proudly right before leaning over, closer to you in order to kiss your lips. The kiss starts off soft at first but Stewy quickly deepens it, he playfully nibbles on your lip as the kiss deepens on both your ends and Stewy steals a moan from your lips as you run your hands through his hair.

[sh1-n0bu]

congrats on reaching 300 followers!!! may i request for hetalia? (i’m not sure on the maximum amount of characters allowed so i’ll make a list, you can skip anyone you don’t want to write for) how would scotland, wales, spain, portugal, france and northern ireland deal with an s/o who’s always lost in their thoughts? like they’re always imagining up complex storylines with their own characters, impossible scenarios, procrastinating, giving themselves unnecessary anxiety, and it’s turned to maladaptive daydreaming at this point. they know this, and they say they’re trying to change, but deep down they really don’t want to because reality hurts, and they’d rather be lost in their own little world instead. am i self-inserting too much? probably-

✿ 𝙞’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙙 ✿

characters: francis (france), allistor (scotland), dylan (wales), antonio (spain) and siamas (northern ireland) x nb!reader

warnings: hints of maladaptive daydreaming, disassociation, insomnia, existential crisis, comfort, fluff, light angst

notes: phew it has been so long since i had last watched hetalia so i had to watch a lot of vids, comps and read the fandom articles to remind myself of them lmao. with that the characters also might come off OOC

hetalia fandom r u still alive????? if so then yall better prepare bc once my inbox gets flooded with hetalia reqs im gonna terrorize yall🕴🕴

francis is a romantic through and through and due to that he daydreams as well. whether it be romantic dates or acts you and him could do together, recreating gentle scenes from his favorite romance novels, plan out your date and anniversaries - francis is a romantic soul and he feels your daydreaming problem to a certain degree.

whenever he notices you suddenly go quiet, eyes hazy and unfocused, staring at something while fiddling with the strands of your hair, nails, the strings of your hoodie or anything you can get your hands on, the man would let out a sigh and sit behind you. pulling your body close to himself and slowly rocking you both back and forth gently - waiting patiently for you to come back to the real world.

but sometimes francis just can’t help but get a little bit selfish. wanting your attention only on himself but he knows it’s wrong.

so that’s why, when you stepped into your shared home with the blond after another draining day at work, he had already prepared a tea party setup with your favorite novel’s theme, dressed up as your favorite character with a charming smile and gentle eyes. candles lit, the freshly baked goods’ scent wafting through the air enough to make you drool alongside a hot, steaming marble pot filled with a chamomile tea.

“mon amour, would you care for a tea with me?”

before you two started dating, allistor thought of your stimming and daydreaming moments as something familiar to his brother, arthur.

perhaps you saw something that the normal people couldn’t see and interact with them like his little brother, so the redhead didn’t ask anything of it nor did he thought it’s anything problematic. however he got smacked in the face by how deeply your maladaptive daydreaming problems run when after your date at the cafe together, you almost got hit by a car when crossing the street with unfocused eyes and slow, dragged steps.

since then, allistor took it upon himself to study and research more about the differences of daydreaming and maladaptive ones, what causes them to happen, the reason for one to end up having such an odd yet harsh behavior.

whenever you would end up stimming with your headphones plugged in, mindlessly and robotically going through your work with an eerie silence - the man would observe you for a while, trying to decipher if you’re slipping a bit too deep into the dreams before walking over to you and gently tapping on your shoulder.

when your lovely eyes would lock with his own bright blue ones he would give you a smile and reach out a hand. a silent invitation for a slow dance with him - a formerly talked upon agreement that you two made to help you reground again after another slip.

“dalrin’ would you care to share your dreams with me?”

dylan loves fantasy creatures and stories like his brothers and due to that the blond daydreams quite often as well. about the different mythical creatures, their origins, territory, how they would live and interact with one another - all sorts of things.

he tends to stim a lot without even noticing as well so dylan would be the best person to share your struggles of maladaptive daydreaming. not to mention the short man always carries around a big sponge or those cute, character shaped stress balls.

the first time when he found you completely unresponsive laying on your bed with your headphones in, dylan immediately knew what was going on. so he silently slipped into the bed next to you, held your hand in his own and rubbed slow circles into the flesh until you came back again.

since then you both had made a promise to each other to try and get better. slowly but surely working on your behaviors, problems and sudden slips. and it’s safe to say that you both had gotten better.

“cupcake! if you slip down the rabbit hole again then take my hand and drag me down with you! ‘cuz i don’t ever want to be without you.”

antonio is a bright and optimistic young man, however sometimes he comes off as blunt and insensitive due to him not fully being able to read the situation at hand.

perhaps it’s due to his inability to read the room that he was able to snap you out of your slip so easily and effectively when you two first met. a simple pat to your shoulder and voice asking you “what are you doing sitting around without doing anything for?” definitely stopped your daydreaming.

after you had said your answer to him in an unsure voice, the bright smile wearing man simple smiled even brighter and asked you if you wanted to be friends.

and since then antonio and you two became friends. meeting up in small shops, restaurants, gardens, everywhere anywhere all at once until one day after almost 2 years of friendship the young man asked you if you would like to take your relationship a step further.

whenever he finds you stimming with your fingers while gazing at someplace far away, he just can’t help but get a bit sad. you wanted to be someplace that’s not here and antonio didn’t want you to go somewhere where he can’t be with you.

so he would always rubs simple shapes into your hand or shoulder, giving you an unusually melancholic smile with his pinky raised.

“pinky promise to always come back from your wonderland to me?”

siamas is a loud and chatty fellow - the perfect human representation of a golden retriever if only he had blond hair instead of red.

it was all thanks to his bright personality that you have been getting better and better at regrounding yourself back again when alone.

when siamas first saw your behavior with his own eyes he immediately knew what it was. so the redhead calmly walked over to your sitting form on the couch, kneeling before you and started to plant butterfly kisses on your cheeks. trailing them slowly over your acnes/moles/freckles until you snapped back and let out a giggle at his sweet antics.

he always has a lot of different toys, chibis and cute little bracelets connected to his keychain so whenever you two are going out kn a walk or a date, when he feels your hand become loose in his own he would proudly pull out his keychain and put one of the toys into your hand. gently squeezing yours - which is holding the toy - in his own, giving you a smile and a proud kiss to your forehead when you ground yourself back.

“welcome back honey. so what do you think of getting for dinner today?”

[mcrmaidlesbian]

I felt like I played myself for hyping this movie up.

Yes there will be the million of “analysis” out there on tumblr which are just people picking out select messages out of a very scrambled mess because no one can just sit down and admit this movie wasn’t cohesive in what it was trying to say.

The dialogue rarely felt dialogue, it felt like ChatGPT writing a modern feminist movie. And that’s not to say the things said were shallow; I don’t think they were at all. But it was all how it was executed that made it that at the end of the day.

The scene where Barbie goes up to the girls and she got roasted by Sasha was just so random, because if you thought this woman wasn’t Barbie, and was just an annoying mentally confused woman, then I would just expect a “sorry ‘barbie’, but you aren’t as progressive as you think you are?! And you’re weirding us out leave us the fuck alone!” But nah I guess

People praise the old lady scene, and I’m not gonna go too hard on the people who did, but the scene felt too cheesy for me IM SORRY. Not only did it feel cheesy, it felt like it came out of nowhere. Like if this scene were followed eventually by Barbie learning about what old age was and if she wanted to deal with that or whatever, it would make sense. But nope….never followed up again. It was a random planted in scene. And yes I know the purpose, for this stereotypical Barbie to be intrigued by this type of woman she never met before and then realizing she personally actually finds the woman to be beautiful, despite her not even being an existing g concept in Barbieland. When saying that, yes intention of the scene is very heartwarming, but goddamn it I hate to keep using the word “random” but yes it was. It was weirdly placed.

Im not even gonna go into how they got intersectionality weird, and how I guess white women do not know that no, men of color do not hold more power than them, and yes it was funny to see a black Ken be willing to be so eager to be treated as a half assed side piece by a white Barbie when I know they were weirdly trying to have an interracial pair because “progressiveness” and what not. In that regard, I call this “Taylor Swift feminism”.

But I know the movie did not have the time nor the effort to delve into that. And I’m kinda playing myself here since it was obvious they were going to be a racially diverse group of Kens, and they were all to be seen as “just ken”, but I didn’t expect a lot of what they were going to do with that.

Time for the opinion I’m not sure whether is unpopular or popular, but that I feel a lot of people will side eye me for: the plot or Ken going to the real world and back was way more interesting than Barbie going so. Don’t get me wrong, I actually liked the parts where barbie goes back home to see the mess of what it became, and to see how her and the rest of the women there were going to fix it. Also found it interesting during those segments, Barbie was going through the most existential crisis.

That being said, in regards to whose arc with “going into the real world” was better, I’m going to have to say Ken’s. Not only was it interesting, it was downright hilarious. But of course, it wouldn’t worked as well if the idea of Barbie coming along wasn’t a thing, but that idea wasn’t necessarily handled all that well or was even that exciting.

All in all, I thought it was alright.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO I’m about to rewrite and entire parody for aiku I’ll send it in once I complete it it’s funny it’s like the reversed croagunk trope instead of cockblocking it’s helping him rizz girls up

SHSHSH goodra underrated goat I do love its vibes sm legible and snores collecting dust in the basement LMAOO after that one convo about the moon/space manshine shenanigans it’s disappeared forever but I can imagine nagi sending snorlax out only for it to continue lying down taking up like half the field and whenever he tries to get it to move it just swats him with its arm and send him flying by accident LMAO

AHAHA Rin being so desperate he goes to Shidou (wait the Karasu beef full circling to that second lead idea we talked about way back when)

LMAO “not unproblematic” tullia catching strays but Karasu holding a mini grudge for having his baby birds electrocuted like they ran into a telephone pole because of lanturn is so funny

Wait yk a combo I think is funny yarou because it also means bitch/bastard in japanese LMFAOOO wait but shoyoi is kinda cute too the way barasu sounds has me cackling though LMAO bayosagi love triangle wait this could be a kdrama on its own

LMFAO lowk makes me wonder if Karasu refrains from fowl products because he’s like “those are my children…” but FR full circle development where he’s confident enough and thinks it’s ok to be mediocre ehdhsjshsj

LMAOO you should give him that fit in a goofy crack spinoff side episode he would totally wear it (imagine they have a musical number with the phineas and ferb dance style too)

Reo calling bachira banged freak and raichi shark teeth LMAOO truly teenage boy activities kurona also catching strays everyone calls him a midget too ok but two sides of the spectrum both equally as attractive barous cluelessness imagine he just goes “your hands are tiny” and instinctively does that finger bend thing over your fingers (im so bad at explaining i hope ykwim) while Karasu KNOWS and just has a shit eating smirk on his face maybe there is something about guys who style his hair up like that

I didn’t even consider that they didn’t exist oops but WAIT THAT MAKES THE IDEA GO HARDER I’m not crying bruh imagine reader goes to the safari zone and is like wait I thought beautifly didn’t exist here?? Is yayoi doing some pet project and then big reveal

LMAOOOO I lowk love when memes have the “running faster than chigiri” aspect it’s so funny like the bllk equivalent of running faster than sonic the hedgehog but SHSH NO PRESSURE im just happy to receive whatever you come across don’t feel obligated to look for one specifically LOL

NO FR because like what you want me to add a period?? Nuh uh I don’t enjoy those vibes which is why I also default to just using “…” too LMAO

AHAHAHA ok so maybe i do need to use proper punctuation when explaining stuff my b I definitely used a run on sentence when I explained that part so I’ll make it less confusing next time LMAOO that’s so funny thigh that would actually be really embarrassing if that WERE the case though

Wait I’m loving the drama of this Isagis last straw Karasu comforting mc (CRYING THE BROTHER THAT STEPPED UP) I fw this Isagi so hard the conflict and character complexities >>>>> and the added love triangle yayoi originally leaning towards Barou not Isagi BRUTAL I love it

Otoya being spike is so funny bro getting demoted but actually seeing how everything is so interconnected is really interesting since we’re like metavisioning looking at a universe you created imagine life being this interesting but anyways I’m not about to get into an existential crisis rn

The way you’re converting readers (me) and yourself is so funny HAHAHA

IT DOESNT MATTER IF I MEMORIZE THE ENTIRE DEX (not gonna happen) but wait i just realized what this means CONGRATS ON 1K!!!!! Not you saying “idk it might be awhile still since it fluctuates” literally one day ago LMAO but here’s to more miraverse shenanigans!!!! DONT WORRY DADDYS HOME SHSHSHS but THANK YOUUU I just saw the event so I’m running rn let’s see who I get inspo for LOL

- Karasu anon

PLEASE DO SEND IT IN OMG an aiku parody would be insane…i love how no matter the au/verse aiku somehow makes his way into infecting it w crack LMAOAAO he’s lowkey the face of the miraverse (in a diff way than nagi and karasu)

nagi’s goodra is so CUTE tbh honestly it’s one of his best pokémon too considering it’s a pseudo legendary (wait now that i’m thinking abt it so many of the characters EXCEPT reader have pseudo legendaries 😭😭😭…like chigiri has a dragonite, nagi has a goodra, hiori has a metagross, karasu has a garchomp, and noel noa has an aggron…meanwhile reader’s rocking w galvantula LMAOAOA) PLEASE nagi finally meets his match w his snorlax he asks reo if that’s what it’s like dealing with him and reo’s just like “yes 😐” omg wait potential ova that’s just nagi attempting to train his snorlax ⁉️

HAHA YESS this is the au i was referencing when i mentioned rin as a second lead!! i’ve had it cooking for a while but yes since nagi’s the main lead and karasu’s the bestie w weird tension (i’m realizing this is a format i utilize often) rin has 0 way of winning like it genuinely hurts him to know that reader would rather go for a) lazy dumbass genius or b) cocky rude weird hair over him LMAOAOAO that’s why in the smau reader calls him “poor kid” she’s not here for that bfb dating younger men era 🤫 nagi’s like a couple months older than her and karasu’s a year older than her she is NOT abt to go for baby rin (especially considering there’s a whole subplot with sae that’s again meant to subvert the reverse harem vibe while also still having lots of love interests)

wait this just reminded me that isagi is canonically older than nagi and both nagi AND isagi are older than reo KDBCJSKS

LMAOO no because given how much we’ve talked abt tullia bullying otoya it’s impossible to call her UNPROBLEMATIC (not that otoya doesn’t deserve it ofc) but for the most part she’s pretty chill it’s like specifically otoya who she messes with 😓 PLEASE IT’S LITERALLY KARASU’S OWN FAULT TOO if i had a nickel for every time karasu got cocky and challenged someone he was wildly unprepared to face w his team of baby birds i’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it means bro needs to be STOPPED 😭 it’s a good thing he gets garchomp later on i think garchomp will be 99% of karasu’s impulse control as well as his main battler

YAROU ACTUALLY IS SO FUNNY especially because both of them are kind of uhhh kind of bitchy (especially to isagi) but agreed shoyoi is kinda cute sounding!! bayosagi love triangle…i have many thoughts about it that i will get to TRUST but agreed it’s giving kdrama

see i feel like the mediocre thing relates to his end of the world comment in the egoist bible too so it’s like in character yk?? like now he’s SEEN the end of the world (almost) what with team x and their nonsense, almost witnessed all of his friends die (if reader hadn’t sent nagi back to help save everyone they would’ve been overwhelmed because karasu’s garchomp is legit the only one left) and nearly died himself, and i feel like that makes him realize ykw why should i gaf abt being mediocre or not mediocre??? him realizing that as long as he’s happy nobody else’s expectations matter to him…lowkey this DOES mean that fwtkac reader doesn’t really fit because he’s too happy post epilogue to care about a rival but actually wait yk what would be cute imagine reader’s like a pokémon nurse who comes out to do check ups on the daycare pokémon and make sure everything is looking alright but karasu ends up falling in love with her so for a solid while he just makes up illness and injuries to call her out for like “oh my lucario hurt his paw” and she comes out and lucario is just standing there like “😐” obviously not injured and she’s like ???? but eventually she ends up liking karasu back and then he asks her out and it’s all cute and adorable (pursuit reader is just glad he’s finally getting married because she’s been making fun of him for being the last one to settle down for ages…“how did otoya AND aiku end up in happy relationships before you???” “I DON’T KNOW”)

REO DOES NOT CAREEE HE’LL VIOLATE ANYONE i love villainous team v reo he’s so so funny and his crashouts are legendary 😩 PLS YES THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING like barou has no idea that you’re flirting so he’s super serious about it and he’s like “wow your hands ARE very small 👍” and does the finger thing (ik what you’re talking abt) but karasu starts messing with you because he knows you’re trying to rizz him up (he’s already rizzed up obviously i think if a girl flirted w him he’d fold in 0.2 seconds) but he’s so funny about it and it def culminates in him lacing his fingers through yours and using it as an excuse to hold your hand (he definitely calls you mediocre for having small hands as a joke though HAHAHA)

NO THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING LIKE IT MAKES IT 10X BETTER one thing about hiori he is going to LOVE his love interests like there’s something distinct abt the way i imagine hiori as the male lead he’s on a completely different level than the others…the closest in terms of emotions is probably nagi but with nagi a grand declaration of love is just him getting out of bed and like. cooking breakfast or smth 😭 so the scale isn’t quite the same…but hiori always goes all out in my mind like i’ve never imagined him being normal about someone he genuinely loves he always does insane shit like building a house or importing an entire species of pokémon instead of just being like “hey i like you” the way karasu (eventually) would JFJFJSSJ wait speaking of which your request for the event hehehe miscommunication/misunderstandings w hiori…i’m considering some things (i feel like that trope generally implies humor but it’s hiori he doesn’t give crack vibes to me…he’s like nagi i can only write him seriously unless he’s just a side character but trust i will cook smth up and it will be good)

PURSUIT ISAGI IS SM FUN I LOVE HIS CHARACTERIZATION because honestly he definitely thinks that he should be stepping into barou’s role as his best friend but he has zero idea how to do so meanwhile karasu does it so naturally (in this au i fucked w everyone’s ages so isagi and barou are a couple years older than karasu and are the same age as yayoi if i didn’t say that already) which is just another punch in yoichi “inferiority complex” isagi’s gut…eventually he does end up being kind of a cool older cousin/sibling to reader but it takes him a lot of effort to get to that point 😕 and for the love triangle i was lowkey think that yayoi would actually have originally liked isagi but isagi never pursued her (given that he thought she liked barou) so he kinda pushed her towards barou and she ended up falling INSANELY in love w barou (who wouldn’t) but that way the possible eventual yayosagi isn’t just her settling it’s her being like look i always liked you and maybe i still might but i have a lot of trauma from barou’s abandonment/death and isagi’s like yo me too let’s just be friends again and see where things go KDFHSKJDSMJDJS i lowkey love them as a trio and the relationships/duos within that trio honestly this is a version of isagi i would actually enjoy writing (ofc i’d have to braid in more of his canon characterization but this is a fun foundation to me)

OTOYA JUST GIVES SUCH SPIKE ENERGY i feel like based on vibes/lore alone, tullia is fluttershy, karasu is applejack, chigiri is rainbow dash, reo is rarity, otoya is spike, nagi is pinkie pie but like the opposite?? like he’s also incredibly random and insanely lucky with stuff but he’s super lazy instead of super energetic, and reader is twilight sparkle (not just because she’s the protagonist LMAOO)

HAHAHA BRO THANK YOUUU IT’S VERY UNREAL but AHH hiori inspo?? cheating on karasu i see /j 😭 it’s okay two of the twelve so far are karasu reqs…the way i only have four spots left and ZERO people have requested for nagi i think people don’t even realize how much i love him despite him being all over my blog because i never get reqs or anything for him 😩 or maybe it’s that everybody hates nagi atm so nobody wants me to write for him 😓💔 THAT’S OKAY THOUGH NAGI GETS PURSUIT SO WHO’S REALLY WINNING ⁉️

[quodekash]

THE EPISODE IS OUT AND IVE NOW WATCHED IT (and it took me two hours to get through as per usual) SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

ITS TIME FOR MY COMMENTARY ON THE ENTIRE EPISODEEE (im sorry)

THEY WON HELL YES FINALLY

BUT IT WAS A DREAM

why? they like crushing our souls.

the scene of gun waking up and getting ready (having a shower, brushing his teeth) reflects the very first episode, where he had so much energy and he was preparing his speech for the juniors. And now he’s lost the biggest competition of his life so far, he’s sad, and honestly he’s lost - but not in the meaning that he didn’t win, he’s lost in the way that he doesn’t know where he is or where to go or what to do. and gmm is making me cry about the freaking passage of time which is so cliche like there are so many other things to make me cry about but instead you choose the thing that I’ve been having a mental breakdown / existential crisis over for the past three years? It feels like a personal attack tbh

THE TEACHER WAS SPEAKING IN THAI COS THEY ARE THAI PEOPLE AND THEN RANDOMLY SAID “oh man good job” IN ENGLISH AND IT WAS SO JARRING I LITERALLY FLINCHED

WIN DONT BE COLD TO YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FLIP

PORS TRYNA CHEER EVERYONE UP WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT THEM??

AND SOUND’S TRYNA GET YOU TO APOLOGISE COS YOU SAID BLOODY HURTFUL THINGS AND THEN YOU THROW YOUR ARM OUT OF HIS GRIP AND SAY “you won’t get us”, ESSENTIALLY IMPLYING THAT HE’S NOT ONE OF YOU AND HE’S NOT IMPORTANT??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR

AND SOUND DOESNT EVEN GO AFTER HIM

awhhhh poor Por alone in the music room by himself he needs a hug I would like to give him a hug please

Pat, I love you, I truly do, but shut up please. you’re gonna make Por freaking cry and that’ll make me cry and I’m already gonna cry enough from this episode

POR IS STANDING AT THE PIANO, HE SHOULD SING AND PLAY A SAD SONG BY HIMSELF TO LET HIS EMOTIONS OUT ON THE KEYS, TO FEEL HIS FEELS THROUGH MUSIC

BUT NO ALL HE DOES IS CRY

AND IT MAKES ME CRY

GOSHDARNNIT

“the doctor said I can go home next week!” “Don’t rush it mum. I can survive at home on my own. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” “I’m okay. But when will you get better?” THIS WOMAN ALWAYS SPEAKS THE TRUTH ONLY THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH AND I LOVE HER

“ever since I woke up, I’ve never seen you song. I usually had to tell you to quit singing.” “……..do you think dad would be disappointed in me?” “What about you? Were you disappointed in him for not being able to release his music? Listen. If we tried our best, there’s nothing to regret. I think your dad would think the same.” BRO HOW IS EVERYTHING SHE SAYS SO FREAKING QUOTABLE

AWW TINN SHOWING UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO VISIT GIM BUT HES JUST TOO LATE I LOVE HIM

OOOOO THEYRE GONNA DO THE PROM NIGHT PERFORMANCE THATS AWESOME

also side note prom night means dates means tinngun soundwin tiwpor I’m very excited

ITS FINALLY TIME FOR PHOTJANEES MENTAL BREAKDOWN OMG FINALLY IVE BEEN WAITING

“do you think we raised him well enough?” YES OFC YOU DID WHAT THE FLIP /gen

“What mistakes do you think we’ve made along the way?” Every parent makes mistakes, man, that’s the way of life, it’s a learning experience for everyone involved. But what’s important is making sure you show your child that you love them and support them and care for them and shESDONE THAT mostly I think. all the things she’s done that could be considered bad or negative were her trying to do what she thought would be best for tinn’s happiness and well-being, even if it didn’t go down that way. You made mistakes, yeah. That’s what makes you freaking human, photjanee.

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY TIWPOR PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND SOUNDWIN PROBABLY HOPEFULLY AND TINNGUN PROBABLY

I was excited for this rehearsal, but win, stop it. “Just cancel this freaking band” seriously, stop. You’re being really cold right now and idk where it’s coming from but it has to stop please.

“I’m out” exCUSE ME???

THE BASS PLAYER CANT JUST QUIT

THE BASS IS THE FREAKING HEART OF THE MUSIC, THE SOUL

IF THERES BO BASS PLAYER THERES NO SOUL SO THERES NO MUSIC

okay sound is going after him it’s okay

and win was disappointed in himself so it make sense now. It’s not healthy to push your own insecurities and fears onto others to feel better, but it does explain his behaviour and hopefully he can find a better coping mechanism

EXCUSE ME WHEN THE F L I P WAS THIS ESTABLISHED??????

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW PLEASE

COULD SOMEONE PERHAPS INFORM ME OF THIS INFORMATION????

your boyfriend is being super self-hatey? Aggressively force him into a hug and let him let all his anger out while simultaneously letting him know both verbally and physically that you’re there for him and while you might not understand what he’s going through you will listen and do what you can to make him feel happy. I love these two.

its a tinngun scene next and you’ll never guess where they are

✨the freaking pool✨

AND WE GOT A SOUNDWIN SCENE, THEN A TINNGUN SCENE, THEN A TIWPOR SCENE, ALL IN QUICK SUCCESSION THIS IS AMAZING

JFJEJFHDHEHDB TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE TIWPOR DATE

SIR--

AAAAAAAAAA

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYYY

✨oh shoot✨

por fell down the stairs and ✨broke his leg✨

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WISH REDEEMING THING THANK GOODNESS I WAS SO FREAKING CONFUSED

HOW IS HE SO FREAKING POSITIVE ALL THE TIME????

“But Tinn has got a really nice voice, ma’am” gun you’re being real sus she’s about to figure it out

photjanee keeps getting so close to finding out about tinngun and then something interrupts it and it happens every single time

BEACH TRIP PART 2 LETS GOOO

wait a sec they did a bad buddy. They went to the beach and then they went to the beach again. And the second time was in episode 11. why has that happened twice now.

BRO HES WEARING YELLOW

WIN RESERVED A SPOT FOR SOUND AGAIN AND THIS TIME SOUND IS ACTUALLY TAKING THE SPOT I LOVE THEMMMMM

so that fight was freaking intense, they were all having a go at each other, naturally it progressed to just Soundwin yelling but then surprisingly it turned into win and gun.

I rly liked that scene tho, all of them at the height of emotions and they all give really hard but sincere and heartfelt apologies to each other. And then they have a group hug. It’s so sweet, I love all of their group dynamics so freaking much

this man is neurodivergent and I love him with all my soul

tinn’s dad doesn’t have a name. tis character is nameless. but I love him.

NATURALLY TIW HAD TO EMERGE FROM THE SHADOWS FJRJFHFH

TIWPOR ARE SO OBVIOUS

“Did I miss something?? What is happening?” Well, win, you see, you know how you and sound are in love? It’s the same situation with Tiw and por, but you numskulls have been too thick to see it somehow

TIWPOR ARE LITERALLY BOYFRIENDS I LOVE THEM

everyone just coping Soundwin left right and centre okay then

first tinngun with the medal kiss

now tiwpor with the sprinkle water

what’s next, yo and nook are gonna be tied up together? Pat and [insert imaginary character] are gonna have a lot of meaningful interactions in the bathroom?

oh also that song?? It made me cry man. I don’t care what anyone says, this show is a cinematic masterpiece.

the way they’re watching a video of them singing an encouraging song to encourage themselves?

the way they’re suddenly in the room watching??

THE WAY SOUND APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE???

THE WAY TINN APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE????

THE WAY THEIR CURRENT SELVES ARE SUDDENLY SINGING TO THEMSELVES?????????

it gave me chills and it gave me tears

I literally can’t describe how much I love this show

the only thing that could’ve made that song better is if Tiw appeared out of nowhere

i CaN wAiT uNtiL yOuRe A uNi StUdEnT dude no one cares about the rule anymore, sound literally said he and win are boyfriends (WHICH BTW W H E N WAS THAT ESTABLISHED?????) just date now

“no matter how long, I’ll always wait for you right here” okay that’s super sweet and all but literally no one cares about the stupid rule just kiss already

yeah okay that explains it. I’d noticed how the only people to say “until they’ve WON hot wave” were that guy and Tinn and Tiw, but everyone else just said until after hot wave so yeah

“Be with me now and you’ll get to use the hashtag #MySchoolPresident” gotta love them subtle title drops lmao

and naturally there’s a cliffhanger on the photjanee plot line. great. like they needed to have something to keep us hooked even tho we're invested literally no matter what, the next episode is the freaking final episode, we're gonna watch it, dont worry gmmtv

MY MAIN TAKEAWAYS

last episode felt way too short but this one felt way too long

I’m still not sure if tiwpor were already secretly dating or if it’s just mutual crushes or if it’s something else BUT they’re going down the tiwpor route for which I am grateful because WE’RE NOT DELUSIONAL HAHA SUCKERS WE WERE RIGHT

WHEN THE FLIP FLAP TICTAC WAS IT ESTABLISHED THAT SOUNDWIN ARE BOYFRIENDS????? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN OFF SCREEN???? I HAVE Q U E S T I O N S

and we have one episode left of this goodnessforsaken show. We have had eleven episodes. We have had about 600 freaking minutes of this show. And Tinn and gun stILL HAVENT KISSED???????? WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON

[stormyoceans]

monica! i need your best slow burn pining recommendations, i feel like you're the right person to ask <3

TURNS OUT THIS WAS ACTUALLY A WAY HARDER QUESTION TO ANSWER THAN I EXPECTED AND IT SENT ME INTO A DEEP EXISTENTIAL CRISIS ;;;;;;;;;

the thing is. i feel like 'slow burn' is an extremely subjective concept. for example, the only criteria a lot of people take into consideration to define a story as slow burn is when the characters enter an official romantic relationship, but to me it's also a matter of the characters' awareness when it comes to their own feelings: i personally have a hard time labeling a story as slow burn if the characters are attracted to each other from the first episode, or if one of them is already in love with the other at the beginning of the show, even if it may take them the rest of it to officially get together. and on the other hand, just because the characters aren't attracted to each other right away that doesn't automatically make it a slow burn to me

if i went with my idea of slow burn, tho, this list would be REALLY SHORT (like.. probably only 3 series would fit that ;;;;;;;), so first and foremost i’ve tried to pick shows that i think are the closest to my personal view of what a slow burn is and that have a good balance between pining, awareness and official romantic status, but after that im also gonna give you some different options just to cover a bit more ground, so here we go!!!!!

CLOSEST TO MY IDEA OF SLOW BURN

a tale of thousand stars. what could i even say about this show that hasn’t already been said. it simply has everything: great story, great characters, great chemistry, great slow burn and tension and pining that will make you scream at your screen.

enchanté. this show isn’t half as bad as most people say it is and this is a hill im willing to die on. features one of the best childhood friends to lovers romances with levels of tension and pining that are honestly out of this world and that made me want to punch through a wall in multiple occasions, which is why im willing to put it in the slow burn section even if it’s obvious that both akk and theo are aware of their own feelings for the other since the beginning.

i told sunset about you. it’s hard for me to call a show with only 5 episodes a slow burn, and yet it still very much feels like one. i don’t talk much about itsay because it speaks to the queer experience in a way that hits a bit too close to home for me, but the chemistry and the tension are truly unparalleled (in this house we do not talk about i promised you the moon tho).

my ride. kind overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in one of the softest, sweetest, most underrated slow burn romances ever put on screen. i don’t really know what else to say except that this is one of my comfort show and that it never fails to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

SOTUS. look.. im fully aware this show has its issues. aside from the hazing (which personally doesn’t bother me, but i know it can be triggering for other people), it belongs to a generation of BL where the concept of any other sexuality aside from straight and gay did not exist, so you will have to bear with now thankfully outdated tropes like ‘gay for you’ and a certain amount of sex negativity. despite all this, it still does many things right, including giving us an enemies to lovers slow burn romance that to this day no other BL can compare to.

triage. TIME LOOP + MEDICAL MURDER MYSTERY + SLOW BURN = A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. i know this show isn’t for everyone – for some it’s too slow and complicated, for others there’s not enough romance – but it is made for me specifically and i will never stop recommending it.

the untamed. okay so.. i guess technically we can’t call this a BL because the show has been edulcorated by chinese censorship, but even if there are no kiss and no actual declaration of love in the series, this is still very much a romance, and it’s also the perfect example of what slow burn is to me: excruciating and with the power to reduce you to a rabies-ridded violent little gremlin.

vice versa. IM THE MOST PREDICTABLE WOMAN ON EARTH IM SORRY. and alright, this may be a little bit of a stretch because if i put vice versa here then it’s fair to argue i should put other shows as well, BUT IN MY DEFENSE. episode 6 and episode 7 caused me irreparable damage with how much i was screaming at my screen for puen and talay to just kiss and get together already. these two idiots also confirmed their status only in the last part of the very last episode, and just for that they deserve a spot here. ABSOLUTE BUFFOONERY.

other shows that fit this and that are not my cup of tea but maybe they’re yours:

stay with me [cw: sad ending]

SHOWS THAT I THINK COULD BE CONSIDERED SLOW BURN (maybe. possibly. perhaps? ;;;;;)

dear doctor i’m coming for soul

i will knock you (is this show good? no. did i watch it until the very end laughing my ass off and having the time of my life? yes. it is EXTREMELY cringey and pretty low quality tho, so be aware of that ;;;;;;)

ingredients

light on me

my tooth your love

our dining table

unintentional love story

other shows that fit this and that are not my cup of tea but maybe they’re yours:

minato shouji’s coin laundry

step by step

MORE OF A NICE SIMMER TO A ROILING BOIL BUT THE PINING IS DELICIOUS

2gether

my school president

old fashion cupcake

we best love: nr. 1 for you

other shows that fit this and that are not my cup of tea but maybe they’re yours:

plus and minus

NOT SLOW BURN TO ME BUT THE RELATIONSHIP IS DEVELOPED NICELY AND/OR THERE IS SOME GOOD PINING

bad buddy

blueming

the eighth sense

history 3: trapped

laws of attraction

love tractor

not me

semantic error

[mezmer]

Remembering when I had a crazy ass acid trip in high school and I had hair so green it stained my ears. Wretched. My come-up was beautiful. Listening to music and watching my hands wave around. My ex boyfriend came over to hang out. A friend of ours texts "what's up" and I think Ross replied "trip sitting Madelyn" this friend said "im gonna kill myself i need you guys to come over" and you know, I shouldnt have went lol. I wanted to help because I had already lost people to suicide and I would never leave anyone hanging.

Well we get there. And the kid is fucking fine!!!! He's fucking smoking weed playing video games!!! He was a fucking MANIPULATOR too. He said "I'll smoke with you guys if you stay". Of course I did not need any weed at all. Well I stayed there because I was a follower, not a leader .... I was hanging on to my ex Ross like a limb on a tree.

The "friend" of ours ended up making me feel awful about myself, making fun of me because I was the only one tripping. I was 16 haha.

Well, hours pass. Literally hours. I go in the restroom and take a long look in the mirror after the "friend" had torn me down and turned me into nothing. I looked at my green hair and absolutely hated it, that was the big thing. My makeup was smudged and I felt so putrid and pathetic. For years, the makeup and hair were my armor, everyone always complimenting it. Though how awful he was, I felt like my eggshell had finally cracked by the time I got home. That guy made us watch him play grand theft auto 4 for several hours. He was a huge piece of shit manipulator, if you're wondering why we stayed.

So, that man went on to rape me by knife point later on in my life. Couldn't get it up, so he stopped and had like an existential crisis while I was standing there in the woods.

I just saw him at the grocery store a couple of months ago and he followed me down a few aisles and stared at me weirdly as fuck. He carries a gun too so of course I was like :)

I did not tell John in the store or John would have gotten arrested beating this piece of shit bloody

I would pray for Taylor, but in my opinion he is completely beyond help.

[snaileo]

gonna write this post to reflect upon things before the year ends - it will be long

i dont know how to start this - or how to even express my thoughts. but this year was hard - very hard and i wish i could remember what i was doing last year. last new years eve, but i cant remember. i wish i could tell my past self, that in a few days time, you would learn that your mom's cancer came back and then 8 months after that, on the dot, she'd pass away. obviously i cant. this last month has been especially hard, not that i was excited for christmas anyway, but it was my first one without her. one thing id do every year is check everyday for xmas music to come on the radio, which i did excitedly??? this year, and on nov 10th, it started and my excitement was cut abruptly when i realized i was alone in the apartment, without her to exclaim it too. it hit me all over again. its so hard to go into her room even though i have too bc the washer and dryer are in that particular closet, and it still feels like shes there. its eerie. its hard for me to associate this absence of her with being gone because this is just what her room looked like when she kept having week long hospital stays every month since may - so it was no different right? but i gotta keep telling myself that it is, that shes not coming home. Well she *is* home but not how I knew her.

both my dad and i felt this time was different, long before the complications began. i remember having that conversation with him, anxiety gripping every part of my being, something just felt different about all this - and it wasnt until months later that our fears would be confirmed. one of the things i struggle with most is guilt. feeling like i couldve done more, that i shouldve done more, that i was her caretaker and she died - i feel like i let her down, i feel like maybe if i had done this or that, it would be different, that she would still be here. i try to tell myself i did all i could but its difficult. i simply feel like i failed. i failed her. she deserved better than what she got -

she had seemed so invincible to me, with all that she had survived in her life, the way she carried herself with each thing she overcame - but in that final week, the one she spent in the ICU till she passed - i saw her slowly break down, her body slowly give in - i was really hoping she would Bounce Back, like she always did, so many close calls in her life, but she always came back - i was anticipating the next week when she would be out of the ICU, back at the apartment, talking about how she survived yet again -- but that didnt happen.

i completely broke after her passing, and had a solid month of feeling, disassociated from myself - deep within an existential crisis and grief - really truly grappling with what death is - and it took a while to realign myself. im still not okay - but im better than i was then. im still very lonely. the amount i spoke to my mom, daily, was something i never even realized until after she passed. i cant talk to my dad the way i talked to her - she had a near photographic memory and could recount stories and tell them in such an engaging way that i hate that i do not have a single fucking recording of her telling any story. that i no longer will hear her recount her life to me, tell me as if it happened yesterday.

im finding new things everyday that i didnt even realize i'll miss.

she believed in an afterlife, in spirits and heaven, and i hope, for the sake of the terrible hand she was dealt, that there is an afterlife, that she gets the happiness and peace she deserved. i found a lot of comfort in reading people's stories about seeing deceased loved ones in dreams, ones that feel like a visit, whether or not theyre truly a visit or just what the heart needed - it was comforting. one thing i didnt foresee was how painful the dreams she appears in would be. how painful to see her or hear her, or just knowing shes there - and then i wake up. reality hits. one odd thing to note is the first time i had dreamt about her after her passing, i wasnt allowed to look at her, i knew she was there, somewhat in my peripheral but there was a voice telling me "do not look at her, dont look at her" it was a strange feeling, it was so vivid. most of my dreams now that consist of her are typical dreams, tho a portion of them have me baffled that shes even there and i try to ask her How??? i thought you were dead, and she would come up with some excuse or some way how she survived. its a strange feeling. dreams are strange.

realizing this is getting too long. if you stuck with reading this whole post thank you i guess. this was meant for me to vent and reflect. especially since my mom was born in the year of the dragon, and 2024 will be the year of the dragon.i dont know how to end this post.

[hajimedics]

Just ready the pictures you had attatched- oml no howdy don't scam people 😭 also.. Poor JUILE! Noo! Surely sally can talk to her someone? I'll talk to her 😭 POOR FRANK no because he's autistic as well and its all new so he's gonna find it hard- poor wally- what's gonna happen when they find THAT side of the internet?

O h g o d

So what about all of the internet media? Surley they could make money off of it? Maybe they pretend to find stuff and bring it back and then sell merchandise- wait.. What if they're playfellow?? (Jkjk (maybe..?)) or if playfellow was already there.. Surely they could tell them? Like- 'hey we exist!' and be looked after? At the point the fandom is at they would be minted- although im assuing its not that simple.. Probably something stopping that.. Like playfellow wouldn't believe them? Or what about the voices? They could tell them information about the show? Hmmm

Theories..

Adhd thoughts

the general thing about the AU is that this is what wally fantasized for him and his friends -- freedom from their states as both literal and figurative puppets -- but turns out living as humans (clueless ones at that) is far more challenging and complicated. wally doesn't know this because he placed high hopes for humanity, only seeing it through the staff that worked at welcome home puppet show.

during his years living as a puppet, wally sees the playfellow workshop staff walking around freely, talking about the things they wanna do after work like grab a coffee or go to the movies, etc. wally, trying to grasp at something to keep himself grounded in reality, latches onto the idea that becoming a human will bring him and his friends salvation and the push for their desires. that eddie and frank can finally be together. that sally can become the brightest star in the sky. everyone can be happy, and they won't even be aware that they're breaking free from the scripts! that's a dream to wally, until he suddenly turned into a human for some reason.

I have an idea that there might be someone that helps them live as humans (introduce them to jobs, teach them human customs and social interaction, how to take care of themselves now that nobody is there to fix them, etc) so the puppets will find a way to bring themselves back to their feet. the process won't be easy though, as the puppets-turned-humans find their own perspectives of the world and life, relationships, etc.

as for internet media, well, they'll eventually find out about that and their existence as puppet show characters. I reckon wally would try to prevent his friends from finding out about it -- not only because their friends might not handle the existential crisis well but also because there's a good chance it'll cause a crack to form in the group.

I still gotta work more on this AU once I get the right inspiration! sorry for answering this late and thanks for being patient, I'm on a TUGS kick on my sideblog currently XD

[emergingghost]

My friend having a kid and I'm having an existential crisis again🫠 I knew her since I was 10. What do you mean she having a kid? I can't even do a job? Also this kid gonna be the first kid I get to know and watch grow up. Cause PY my friend so she get to decide if I hang out with isty bitsy. My parent don't let me interact with my cousin baby. So either way my friend having a kid rn and I'm having an existential crisis on my failures 🙃

oh gosh i can definitely relate in ways to this, idk how old you are but i know for me at 26 it's a very strange and unsettled stage of life! everyone is doing extremely different things. i have friends from high school getting married and buying their first homes, moving in with partners and getting a dog together, or friends moving to the other side of the world. but i also have friends who like me feel very lost and don't have a job or are living at home or still studying! we all move at different paces which is ok!! its hard to believe that sometimes, because its easier to just compare yourself to others who appear more successful or progressed which i do all the time of course haha but you must be kind to yourself! that's the only way you'll be able to move forward when you realise everyone is different and meet with different obstacles! don't let what others in your circle are doing make you feel pressured to catch up to them! or on the other hand sometimes its less about where you want to do but rather its just weird observing other people and what they're doing because its so hard to fathom that they're doing that when you wouldn't even dream of it for yourself! complicated for sure! also i am so excited for you though, that you will finally have the opportunity to be a part of a young kid's life, i have a young nephew and a young niece and its so fun watching them grow up and seeing how they interact as they older, very sweet! im sorry to hear you're not allowed to interact with your baby cousin, that sounds like a very complicated situation!! but being able to see your friend's baby I'm sure will be lovely!

[midnightmisadventures]

Pt 3

Anyway i was emotional that they wanted me to hear the album.

To remember, to maintain faith.

But then then played Crash, and i was like okay fuck yea i'll listen to crash thats like the one song i dont have in my libraries or rotation like i barely ever listened to crash, not cause it was bad its just that all the others were sooo good haha i had too many favorites already.

So i'm listening to crash, getting emotional, realizing the only thing that can get me emotional about the breakup enough to cry is picturing me when i first heard these songs. So young, naive, doesnt know all the growth and hardship shes about to face. But even if you warned her, she'd be willing to do it, because she JUST wanted to be loved. She would do anything for it. I don't fault her, i show her compassion, its valid to want love. And empathizing with her makes it easier to empathize with myself now. #doitforher

So crash is playing and im emo, and then the song keeps going a while after it usually ends.....and then BAM! A BOY IN JEANS SONG IVE NEVER HEARD.

Apparently a rare version of crash has a suprise ending with like a minute 30 second song, and its the MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IVE EVER HEARD.

I just explained how much this album means to me, its the bible, and im a fanatic to this religion. So ive listened to the entire album cover to cover so many times, ive heard every song a bajillion times, i know every word, every harmony. Its my medicine.

So to hear a song ive never HEARD???? Was so fucking shocking to my heart like i felt that same wonder and awe of hearing ryans voice for the first time, when all of the album was new. It was like doing a line of coke, it felt rejuvinating to my spirit like holy shit. Everyone wants to be able to relive the experience of listening to their favorite album for the first time, and this felt like that. Like i felt so lucky. And my heart felt so warm.....

Because i love ryan beatty. But to me, my home is specifically Boy in Jeans. Like i love so many songs off of dreaming of david, especially dreaming of david lol but theres something so magical about the production style of boy in jeans its seriously my favorite thing ive ever heard like this album is my HEART.

And hearing this new snippet of a song, that is so beautiful and magical. Like if it was a full song itd be my favorite its so sweet, its my aesthetic, fresh, vibrant and colorful because i havent heard it a thousand times like all the other songs.

And its not on the regular version of crash?? Like i just happened to stumble on this rare video. And the fact that spirit not only pulled put the big guns, they pulled out the biggest guns to show me to keep my faith in what i believe in and what i know to be true. And that means.....the world to me after spending the last 3 days having existential crisis.

They literally said "remember your scripture"

Also hears a new page. Oh yea whats the song about you ask? Youre not gonna believe this shit

"I could never let go of you Even if I tried, even if you let me I could never survive without you Without you, without you, without you"

swipe up for full lyric reveal

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

➶ am i doing this correctly?

THE FIRST TIME YOU HOLD HANDS

pairings: izuku midoriya, denki kaminari, eijiro kirishima, hitoshi shinsou x gn!reader

warnings: none, besides my favoritism for shinsou BAHHAHA + a minor injury because a certain someone in this was being wayyy too in love and ACTIVATED HIS QUIRK

IZUKU MIDORIYA !! - wikihow.com how to hold someone’s hand

yes, he took notes on how to hold someone’s hand. yes, he studied which fingers go in-between which and how firmly he had to hold it. but once it was actually time, as usual, all the information he learned blanked and he was left trying to figure out what a finger was.

right, uh... the index finger goes-- what even is an index finger?? oh shoot oh shoot oh shoot “and- auasyfsh!”

...indeed. yes. he did. he just activated his quirk. and busted his own finger trying to get his hands to cooperate out of pure panic while trying to hold yours.

“izuku- are you- are you okay?”

his hands scrambled into his pockets “y..-yep! i’m good! just fine, haha..”

what was he supposed to say?? “oh yeah, no, i just busted my own hand because i was having an existential life crisis on how to hold hands. haha! i may be stupid.” (fin.)

POOR BABY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?? he starts freaking out until you brush beside him to let him know that he's doing his best and you love him for it. and of course, his entire face turns red and he gives a nervous smile.

but after trying to hold in the whimpers of pain that his hand is literally pulsing, you give a concerned smile and ask him, “uh, deku? do you maybe want to go back home and treat your hand?”

he gave a nervous nod as you two headed back.

and even though you couldn’t go to the movies, the two of you spent the rest of the night curled up in front of the tv with buckets of ice cream.

DENKI KAMINARI !! - shocked in ways more than one.

his quirk activates. good lord. when your hands intertwine with his, denki’s entire face just turns RED and he thinks, “here we go. not gonna mess this up. not gonna mess this up.” and slips his hands into yours, but as you’re talking, all he can think about is his lips pressing against yours as he pulls you to his chest and kiss your stupidly beautiful face.

why did you have to be so- so- perfect?

“kaminari, how about we stop at the store over there?”

your voice snaps him out of his thoughts as a sudden jolt crawls up your spine.

did he just-  ????

by the look on kaminari’s face, you don’t even have to ask. luckily, it’s not bad enough that it hurt you, it was just a slight shock. and his face. is authentic, genuine, pure embarrassment. and yes, he will try to play it off. yes, he is currently trying to play it cool but honestly, it isn’t working. it’s kind of hard to shrug it off when his hand is literally sparking. “i’m sorry!! uhm, uh, are you okay? i hope you’re doing. are you hurt? i hope you’re not h-” he’s panicking.

you laugh and his heart does a mini relay-race, “i’m not hurt, kaminari.”

he releases a sigh of relief and nods, “good.” after that, it’s plain silence.

denki scratches the back of his neck after a few more walks, and it’s clear that you’re trying your best not to laugh at his failed attempt. swallowing his pride, he whispers nervously, "could we.. try the hand holding thing again?" you laugh. "I thought you'd never ask."

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA !! - 10/10, would try again.

he is an absolute MASTER at the art of hand-holding. and yes, to him, it is so important that he calls it an art. he is AMAZING at it. he should take a MAJOR at it, because holy cow, the way his hand perfectly intertwines with yours just,,, yes.

it’s the way his eyes look at you with all of the love in the world, it’s the way he communicates with them and knows exactly what you’re thinking at a single glance. it’s the fact that he chose the best time of the day and waited another week to see your face because he heard the sunset was most beautiful at exactly this time. it’s how he casually keeps on walking with his hands resting perfectly in yours.

“you look lovely today, baby!” 

your cheeks heat up at the sudden compliment, “where did that come from, eijiro?”

he shrugs casually as his thumb brushes over yours. “everywhere! i love the way you walk. i don’t know, it’s just-” he clears his throat, trying to cover his embarrassment. “it’s kind of... a mix of everything?”

you laugh softly. “i’m glad. you don’t look so bad yourself, mr. red riot.”

he smiles proudly and raises his eyebrows in delight, “thank you, baby. now, shall we?” he motions towards an old swingset at the park as another laugh bubbles out of your chest.

“i’d love to, eijiro.”

HITOSHI SHINSOU !! - your hands,,, look like,, hands,,,-

hitoshi shinsou is no love expert. in fact, he’s nowhere close to knowing a single thing about love. all he knows is that when people are in love, they look at each other’s eyes and do romance-y things and kiss and whatnot. but besides that, he doesn’t know much about it. which doesn’t explain to him ANYTHING of why his stomach is rolling over the very idea of holding your hand.

he wants to say something nice about your hands as you two walk across the park, the smell of different pastries filling your nose as you walk along the crisp nght air. okay, say this: can i hold your hand? they look quite lonely.

shinsou practically feels like a genius at the idea and he nearly chuckles to himself in pure delight. he opens his mouth to say something, except a fly buzzes next to his ear and he yelps, “hands!”

your eyes immediately dart to him, “uh,” you laugh. “hitoshi, are you good?”

embarrassment fills his chest as he nods. there’s no way i can ruin it more than i already have,, right? “your hands,” he starts, trying to lower his voice to cover up his sudden outburst from before. 

your cheeks heat up, subconciously pretending to not know a compliment was coming ahead.

“your hands,,, look like-” come on. “hands.”

shinsou almost triumphantly laughs before he realizes what he just said. he pinches his nose, pausing and sighs, long and dragged out.

you laugh slightly at that, but you outstretch your hands anyway. “yes, my beautiful lavender boy. they do look like hands, and they’re quite heavy. care to hold them?”

it was shinsou’s turn to blush. “absolutely.”

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hey hey heyyy!! feel free to pop into my inbox if you want a part two! this is also your daily reminder to go drink some water and eat something the best you can. no matter what you’ve done today, i am so proud of you for trying your best. thank you for being here!!

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[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[mudflavoredmochi]

Something about my link facing eldritch horrors in old hyrule and facing saddened, confused hylians that just wanted to be saved by the hero of time but they hate WW link for existing because it means that their world had to be eradicated for him to exist just itches a corner of my brain

He’s facing an existential crisis and basically blaming himself for a whole world populations demise and doesn’t feel like he deserves to be a hero of anything, he just wanted to find his sister. And he did, but now the lost souls of hyrule are laying low and high, out for revenge and probably roaming around WW links world so Aryll or tetra aren’t safe either way. He doesn’t understand how he killed ganon yet this horrible manifestation of restless spirits were swarming like flies, the moment link thinks he accomplished as a hero. He just wants to go back to his old life, before Aryll was kidnapped. He grieves the life he had before, now regretting the decision to leave it all behind in outset just because it felt small, it was his home! He could have just stayed. And unfortunately, some of these spirits go out and pass rather harshly, because they give link no choice. Others, Link is at least able to soothe them with his Wind Waker baton and help them pass over. A lot of them form into horrendous, grotesque monsters.

Thinking of the general atmosphere this AU takes on, I’d say it’s kind of like an apocalyptic plus horror-ish majoras mask kind of themed thing. Except there’s no moon. Just troubled dead people, attacking link and blaming him for existing- and then passing over when link defeats them,,, but there’s a lot to go through because this is the entirety of old hyrule we’re talking about, and as link discovers more, the more he feels like he just can’t believe.

I like the overall dark aesthetic Zelda games take after, so I’m getting the most happy go lucky game and turn it into a horrifying mess to what majoras mask is

But I’m gonna have to apologize in advance if the plots/ storyline turns a little rocky , im figuring this out over time and mostly trusting the process.

[doctorprofessorsong]

Hi. Umm this must be a stupid and unsettling question but I'm just gonna put it out there.

So Im a destiel shipper and I love reading fics. ok so, all this while TFW had been fighting for freedom and wanted to write their own stories and defeated god n everything. and in mid way of reading in dean's POV it struck me all of a sudden that dean wouldn't want me to know these things going on his mind. ok if you say dean and cas are fictional characters technically speaking and they can't possibly give consent, thats fine ig. but obviously I'm so attached to these characters and maybe I want to believe they're real. especially given how spn is a huge example of how a character can take control of the story being told. and ok yes, I know we as a fandom want to see our beloved characters happy. but what gives me the right to get into dean's mind? I'm dean coded so I always choose fics with his POV but I all of a sudden felt like a perv. Isn't freedom and privacy (from chuck/audience) what dean and the rest of the team fought for?? and we just continue toying with them just cause we recover slightly from cw's bullshit? Idk how this thought came to me after all this time but I do feel guilty to have been reading fics. anyway, is it just me or is this kind of feeling common? I enjoy fics too much I don't want to feel like this

Nonny, you are going through it, huh? I don't know how common/uncommon it is but certainly, many people in this fandom find a lot of self-recognition in these characters and that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes in great ways (the amount of times I have realized something I needed to work through in therapy because of a fic is slightly embarrassing) and sometimes in bad ways.

They are absolutely fictional characters and you shouldn't feel guilty. We tell stories for so many reasons. To understand. To find hope. To believe we can change things. To imagine a different world. There is nothing bad about getting insight into how people think Dean would feel or think. And if it helps, I think frequently what you are actually getting in a fic is a part of the author that they are sharing voluntarily. Certainly, my most beloved writing is often based on my experiences. On telling a story that I think matters.

As a concrete example, I wanted to tell a story in The Birds and the Ts about rebuilding after trauma. A recognition that the trauma isn't what makes you and love isn't what heals you. You rebuild with the help of those that love you. You get to decide how to remake yourself. So a lot of those thoughts the characters have and the choices they make? They are me telling myself and the reader it's okay to feel that way. You aren't alone and there is hope.

They are fictional, but I get the existential crisis. I do. In second grade I lived in fear that I was a character in a book or a dream. And I was terrified I would simply disappear when it ended. That feeling? I can say that feeling is common enough that more than one person has told me they also went through it.

But if it helps, even if they were real in a pocket universe living out these stories, you wouldn't be Chuck by reading about them. Maybe we are all Becky? Or Marie? Certainly, reading a fic is not manipulating time and space. And EVEN if they were real, Dean doesn’t seem to think about the readers of the series in the show. He doesn't seem uncomfortable around Marie, for instance. So even if you can't shake the existential fear that they are somehow real, I don't think you have to worry that the hypothetical Dean made reality would even think about or care about fic.

I would also consider whether you might be feeling exposed, and whether that is contributing to this feeling. Like some things are hitting close to home. That is an uncomfortable feeling. If that is part of it, consider what I said above. If it makes you feel vulnerable because you identify strongly with it, there's a better than 0 chance that it's because the author either speaks from experience or has looked at this character, seen this thing that makes you feel vulnerable, and loved him for it. So try to take heart in that.