#im gonna go actually just cry and not be emo again

[leoullaby]

NOOOOOOO

[1-800-kami]

R U MINE? feat gojo satoru (II)

gojo satoru has got to be the picture definition of a stereotypical college frat boy. he’s cocky, loaded with his daddy’s money, and dangerously handsome. it seems like common sense to stay away from him since you’ll never get more than a one-night stand out of it. 

that’s why you choose to turn a blind eye once you’ve come to the horrific realization: you’re in love with him. and you’re just itching to ask…

“are you mine tomorrow? or just mine tonight?”

IMPORTANT: this is part TWO (and the final part) of the r u mine? mini series. make sure to read part one of this fic before proceeding! :)

content: 5.4k words, afab!reader, rich college frat boy gojo, SMUT (fingering & unprotected sex.. wrap it before u tap it kids!) ANGST, (i listened to deftones while writing the breakup era LMAOO i was in my feels 😔) gojo "everything reminds me of her" satoru is really going thru it, idk how to feel about the ending tbh, cheating implications, kinda proofread ig, more emo gojo (u luv to see it)

author's note: guys. where do i even start?? first of all, thank u for all the support on the first part of this mini series!! we also hit 100 followers on this blog so tysm for supporting me n my writing <3 here's the long awaited part two (n also the finale) as i promised that i would get it out over the weekend! just a quick announcement that i may be a little bit more inactive from here on out.. mainly because classes r starting again nd im starting to get busier. i do have more fic plans though, (and a geto smut in my drafts? 👀) so i'll make time to write when i can! happy reading and thank u for all the support on this silly little series :)

tags: @soley613 @feariteriu @bear-likes-mushrooms @96jnie @keilaq1 @whydohumansss @luftyluft @fatbootymuncher (bold = i'm unable to tag u)

reblog and interact for a kiss ;)

everything’s been hazy.

you don’t really remember how you got home– you either waved down a cab or walked until you somehow found your house. either way, the alcohol is worsening the pounding in your ears. the straps of your dress are clinging terribly against your skin–you want to take it off, you want to wear something more comfortable, you want to just go to sleep, preferably forever… but you can’t bring yourself to.

you can’t even bring yourself to move.

so the rumors really were true? but why did gojo pursue so far just for you? why did gojo say those words to you when you spent the night together? why did gojo try so hard to convince you that night that he wanted to have sex with you because he loved you–and not solely because he wanted to have sex?

why did gojo lie to you?

another series of pings sound throughout the room, and you finally move to silence your phone. the noise is all so overwhelming. why the hell is your phone blowing up?

you check your notifications–mostly dms from people you don’t know, either asking if you and satoru were dating, or questioning you about what the hell happened at the party. you know that you’re gonna be the subject of gossip once you’re back at campus, and you hate it.

you were surprised at the numbers once you scrolled down your notification list a little further. ten missed calls from satoru, accompanied by a series of fifteen panicked messages. you open it, and you stare sadly at his contact photo and name, remembering the fond memory behind it. once you two actually started dating, you were merciful enough to add a heart next to his name, and even updated it to “toru”. he was elated at that.

you think you can barely even call him gojo now.

the most recent message was barely sent a minute ago. like it was on cue, you see the bright headlights pull up outside of your door. you wanted to sink into your couch and never resurface ever again.

you hear suguru’s car door open and close, and then frantic knocking outside. you walk to the door while sniffling, looking through the peephole just to confirm your suspicions. it was satoru.

“i can hear you crying through the door, y/n. i know you’re there.” he takes a deep inhale, and the tears start rolling down your cheeks again once you hear the complete and utter vulnerability in his voice. you just don’t know what to believe anymore. “shit, i’m crying too. well, i’m gonna explain myself even if you don’t care enough to listen to me. uhm, believe it or not, what happened at the party wasn’t my doing… at all. when you went to use the bathroom, this girl went up to me and started flirting with me, like she was waiting for you to leave or somethin’. i was g’na tell her to go fuck off but she pushed herself on my lap and before i could do anything about it you walked in and it was just all horrible timing and- god. i know it sounds unbelievable, right? you must think i’m terrible right now.”

“you don’t have to believe me. if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t know what to think either. i’m just… explaining what happened.”

there’s a long period of silence between you and satoru, aside from the occasional sniffling on both ends. you don’t know what to say. you want to believe him. you want to do nothing more than to open the door and let him hold you in his arms again, but you just don’t know what to think anymore. you poured your entire heart out to a man who you knew you shouldn’t be messing with, and now you don’t know who or what to believe. you feel like a fool, and you’re just tired. so damn tired. the silence feels asphyxiating, like it's tearing your relationship with satoru further and further apart the longer it draws on.

satoru is the first one to break the silence. “i’m guessing from the silent treatment that you don’t believe me. it’s okay, y/n. i’ll wait an eternity for you to forgive me because i’ll always choose you- fuck… over anything, and i hope you know that.”

your mind is a mess, and satoru’s words make it even messier.

i’ll wait an eternity for you

i’ll always choose you over anything

you put your head in your hands and sob. it hurts.

a minute passes–gojo hears you get up from where you’re sitting behind the door, and his heart fills with hope.

“i just… i just don’t know how to believe you, gojo.”

his heart breaks when he hears the door–presumably to your bedroom–open and close, leaving him alone with his shattered heart. his heart breaks when he takes in your voice, noticing how weak and exhausted you sounded. he wonders how much you’ve cried just from this past hour alone. his heart breaks once he realizes that he’s alone with his thoughts again, alone with the voice in his head that was berating him for not being able to prevent all of this if he hadn’t frozen up and just pushed her away the second that girl started flirting with him. finally, his heart breaks once it registers that you called him gojo–the last name that he shares with his corrupt and money-crazy family… the family he tries so hard to get away from. it was also the name you called him during the days that you barely trusted him.

now, he’s back to square one, and he has none of your trust again. this time, satoru swears that he’ll do anything in his power to get it back once more.

you didn’t come to school today.

there’s been nothing but radio silence on your end. gojo has sent you countless messages over the weekend asking how you’ve been, with the occasional desperate voicemail where he tells you that he loves and misses you. you’ve turned off your read receipts, so gojo doesn’t even know if you’ve seen his texts or listened to his voicemails. he’s concerned for you, even though he knows that he’s the reason behind all of this. he was hoping to talk things out with you today.. but you weren’t even here.

one thing gojo knew about you is that you cared deeply about your academics, and you wouldn’t miss attendance even if you were sick. it pains him to know that he was the reason that you weren’t here today. you were avoiding him, and he felt helpless.

he’s talked to geto—and the best advice that his best friend could offer was to “find proof that you didn’t cheat on her.” he’s right, though. the last thing you had said to gojo was that you don’t know how to believe if he’s telling the truth or not. gojo has absolutely no idea how to prove his fidelity to you, since words clearly weren’t enough. it frustrates him to no end.

gojo now knows that he feels absolutely lost. all when he’s not with you.

it feels nerve-wracking to walk the halls. 

he remembers telling you the night that you slept together that he’d learned over time to drown out the rumors about him. he learned not to care about what other people thought about him, and he eventually became unaffected by the school’s gossip. 

however, this time was different.

this time, he finds it difficult to drown out the rumors when he hears your name in them. he flinches every time someone whispers your name and his as he walks the halls, feeling that all eyes are on him. “i heard y/n and gojo broke up…” “they were dating?!” “yeah.. i didn’t believe it at first, either! apparently he…”

he doesn’t want to hear it, so he walks a little faster. it hasn’t felt this suffocating to be on campus in a while.

maybe that’s partially why you didn’t show up. rumors are hard to ignore if you don’t know how to shun them out. 

gojo lets out a sigh. he decides that he’s going to ditch the rest of class. you weren’t here, he couldn’t talk to you, and he felt he was gonna go mad if he heard your name spoken by someone again, so he turns to leave, but flinches as he feels a hand lightly tap his shoulder.

“gojo-san?”

he turns around, with a girl that he’s never seen before standing in front of him… not that he pays attention to them in the first place, though. he raises his eyebrow in question, and the girl looks so nervous she might pass out. “i have to tell you something-“

“if it’s a love confession or whatever, i don’t want to hear it-“

“-no!” she flushes a deep shade of red, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes. she coughs awkwardly at his expression. “um, no.. it’s not that. please, just give me two minutes in the library. i have something to tell you.”

he decides to entertain this girl for a bit. he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious about what she had to talk to him for. gojo sighs and says, “two minutes. that’s all you’re getting.”

“this is about the party last friday, no?” he says while taking a seat near one of the tables. he feels sick just being here. he’d never gone to the library before meeting you–as he had no reason to go here at all. then, he started accompanying you everywhere as he tried to win your heart. “study dates” were frequent here, and he even remembers forcefully changing his contact name and number on your phone during one of your dates.

gosh, everything literally reminds him of you. he can barely live like this.

she takes a seat across from him, and she shamefully nods at his words. “i went to the party on friday, and i just want to say i’m sorry-”

gojo gets up to leave. he can’t do this. he doesn’t need anyone’s pity. pity can’t change the fact that you still won’t talk to him. she panics as gojo is about to walk away. “wait!”

the librarian tells her to quiet down, and she mutters an apology. still, she persists. “please, just wait for two minutes… i need two minutes to explain myself. you promised you’d give me that.”

she stares at gojo, who hasn’t left yet, and takes that as her opportunity to speak. “i was a friend of… her,” he doesn’t need an explanation to know who she was talking about. “the reason why she came up to you was because of a dare i told her to do. she’s had a crush on you for a while now, so of course she was willing to flirt with you.”

“um, that was the dare, by the way. my friend told me to record it, because we were all drunk, and we thought it would be funny. just another memory to laugh at in the future, right? we didn’t know you were dating the girl you were with at the party. sorry but, we assumed she was just a fling… or something… we didn’t know she was your girlfriend.”

“yeah, i was dating the girl at the party.” gojo scoffs, and he feels his anger bubbling up again. “then your friend had to do that stupid dare, and she won’t fuckin’ talk to me now.”

“i’m sorry-”

“i don’t need your apologies. is that why you came up to me? to apologize so you don’t feel guilty about what happened anymore?” gojo sneers. he was right, though. guilt is ridden all over her face, and she can’t even meet his eyes. he’s about to leave, thinking that this entire conversation was useless, but gojo thinks back on what she said earlier.

“...my friend told me to record it…”

he turns back to look at her, which surprises her, to say the least. “hey, you said you recorded the dare, right?”

“uhm, yes.”

“so you still have the video?”

“it should be in my camera roll somewhere-”

“if you came here to apologize to me, then you should send me that video.” she looked a little horrified at his words, and gojo could almost laugh. “what? i’m not gonna do anything bad with it, god.”

she thinks about what gojo’s intentions could be with that video, and her eyes light up in recognition as she connects the dots from what he said beforehand. i was dating the girl at the party… then your friend had to do that stupid dare… and she won’t fuckin’ talk to me now.

she nods in understanding. this is the least she could do for him. she pulls out her phone, looking for the video, and says, “i hope you two make up soon, gojo-san.”

gojo satoru walks- no, runs out of that library with determination. determination as he finally has the video evidence of what happened at the party–his saving grace so he could finally get you to forgive him.

you miss him.

you miss him like hell, actually, and you blink at the messages he just sent you in complete disbelief.

you didn’t show up to class today because you were afraid. you were afraid to see satoru again, yes, but you were also afraid of what everyone else would say about you. the party was one thing, but the after-effects and the rumors were something completely different. you didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that, unlike satoru, so you stayed home. all because you were afraid of what would happen on campus.

you just wish things would go back to how they were before… all of this happened. you didn’t want to admit it, but you’ve read all of satoru’s messages, and you’ve listened to all of his voicemails. you’ve cried to them. and it hurts because you’re still torn apart in the midst of your own feelings. and now, satoru wants to talk to you, because he’s been wanting to do nothing but fix everything between the two of you.

the doorbell rings, and you almost jump out of your skin. 

you didn’t even know if you would open the door or not. despite that, you felt your body moving on its own, like you were relying on your own instincts. you washed your face to get rid of the dried tears on your cheeks, brushed the tangles out of your hair, and dressed into something more presentable. the next thing you know, you’re leaning against the wall next to the front entrance. your shadow is visible underneath the door, so satoru knows that you’re here.

“hi, y/n..” he sounded so nervous that you almost laughed, but you felt equally as terrified as him. “i have something to show you… uh, on my phone. if you don’t want to see me, it’s fine, i’ll just send it to you, but i’d really prefer if you open the door and we’ll talk about this inside-”

your hand is already reaching the door knob before you can even think about it. it’s such an impulse decision that you look at him in surprise once you open the door. it’s the first time you’ve seen him ever since you were at the party. it’s only been three days, but you can’t help but notice how his eyebags are more prominent, his eyes are a little redder, and he looks nothing short of exhausted.

“hey,” he manages to breathe out, his eyes meeting yours. “can i come in? please?”

you nod, too stunned to say anything, and he exhales in relief as he walks in. the two of you sit on the couch, and gojo notices how you’re keeping your distance from him. it breaks his heart a little.

he looks for the video on his phone and gets ready to show it to you. this is it. his last ditch effort for your forgiveness. he’s really fuckin’ hoping that this works. “i got this video from a girl who came to the party. it’s a recording of, um, what happened.”

he hands the phone over to you, and you take it skeptically, still choosing to keep silent. you press play, and you watch the recording. a shaky hand holds the camera, and the person behind it says, “holy shit, she’s actually doing it!” they're presumably talking to their friend, and the camera focuses on a girl walking over to gojo. your heart is pounding, eyes widening in recognition as you stare at her... the one who caused all of this in the first place.

the all too familiar girl comes up to him, saying something out of earshot. when gojo looks at her, completely uninterested, she pulls that move. the scene you saw at the party before you ran out. tears fill your eyes again, and you almost want to stop the video, but your interest is piqued at the next part.

..this… this part was something that you didn’t see. gojo angrily reacts at the girl’s move, with her falling on the floor as she looks at him, stunned at how furious he looks. the person behind the camera gasps, continuing to record out of shock as a crowd of people turn to stare at the two. geto eventually comes into the frame and takes gojo away from all the chaos. the video ends there, and you grip gojo’s phone shakily.

holy shit.

tears roll down your face, but this time, they’re tears of relief. you waste no time in hugging satoru, crying your heart out as you bury your face in his neck. you’re happy. you’re so fucking happy, and so relieved knowing that he didn’t lie to you. of course he didn’t.

“m’sorry-” you sniffle into his shoulder. gojo is so shocked at what was happening that it takes him a second to hug you back, but when he does, he starts crying. “m’so fucking sorry i didn’t believe you-”

“shh, it’s okay, it’s okay…” he says, and you only hug him tighter. “m’so tired, you know that? these past three days fucking sucked. i’m just so glad you’re in my arms again, fuck-”

“-i love you, i love you, i love you so fucking much, toru.” you repeat, laughing as you kiss him all over his face. it’s been a while since you said that to someone. you wipe his never-ending tears away, still in disbelief, and whisper, “you’re real. right? you’re actually here with me right now ‘nd i’m not dreaming, right?

“i’m very much real, baby.” he says, putting his forehead against yours as you take in his features again. “god, i missed that pretty face so much.”

he finally closes the gap between you two, pulling you into a much needed kiss. it’s a kiss filled with so many emotions–desperation, happiness, relief. satoru thinks his heart is finally whole again. he’s missed you. he’s missed you so fucking much, and you’ve missed him too. 

you’re like an anchor to satoru. the light of his life that keeps him grounded. and god, he’s been apart from you for too long. 

you reposition yourself as you’re deepening the kiss. you’re on his lap now, and you wrap your arms around his neck, tugging on his hair in desperation. “oh yeah? ‘y gonna do anything about it?"

“of course i am,” he says, hands roaming underneath your shirt as he caresses your bare waist. fuck. he needs you. right now. especially after thinking that he was about to lose you forever–for something that he didn’t even do. “i’m gonna show you just how much i missed you, baby.”

gojo can’t let you go.

you’re in your bedroom, and both of you waste no time undressing each other. he takes you in–all of you, in awe of every crevice of your body as he trails his hands further down your waist.

god, you’re so beautiful. “i can’t believe i almost lost you.”

his words are shaky, like he’s still uncertain that you’re real and you’re in his arms again. he can’t seem to break himself away from you, almost like you’ll disappear if he lets you go. “but i’m here now, toru.”

“i’m here to stay, and i’ll never let you go again… ‘m yours,” you whisper, and your words set a fire in him, fueling his body with nothing but desperation. desperation to have you right here, and right now. 

he wastes no time in plunging two of his fingers in your cunt, and he groans at just how wet you are. “satoru-”

“fuck, you’re so wet… and it’s all for me,” he mutters, spreading your legs effortlessly when you try to close them, thighs shaking in pure pleasure. he adds another finger, and you already feel stretched to the brim, and you haven’t even taken him in yet. the thought of his cock inside of you makes you even wetter than you already are, and you look up at satoru with eyes full of lust and desire. “missed you so much, baby. missed you and your pretty little cunny,”

his fingers are long, and you whine at how full you feel right now. you’re so loud, and you don’t even care. right now, it’s just you and satoru finally feeling each other again. it’s only been three days, but it feels like you’ve been apart for years.

everything about this was filthy. from your erotic moans and the way your cunt squelched against his fingers… not to mention the vice grip you had on them- fuck, satoru thinks he can cum untouched just from watching you like this.

“haa-” you whimper when his fingers curl and hit that spot in your cunt that you can barely seem to reach on your own. it’s exhilarating, and only fuels the growing heat in your stomach. “toru- don’t stop- please, i’m close-”

“really?” he taunts, and it feels so fucking good–your head is numb, and the only thoughts filling your head are thoughts of satoru. the pleasure is too much, and you try to get away from him, but he keeps you in place, curling his fingers faster as punishment. “don’t run away from me, baby… be a good girl and just take it, yeah?”

“toru- fuck- i’m gonna cum, please-” you’re on the brink of release, but suddenly, he stops, ruining your orgasm. “no- wait-”

he pulls his fingers out, and you whine at the loss of stimulation. you were so close–why did he take that away from you? you try and swat at his hands, but he just takes his fingers and puts them in his mouth, locking his eyes with yours with a sly smile. “you taste so sweet, i can’t help it,”

“aww, is my baby mad ‘cause she didn’t get to cum?” he coos sarcastically, caging you in between his arms as he tilts your face up with his finger. “too bad… the only thing you’re cumming on tonight is on my cock.”

and with that, he eases his painfully hard member into your walls. your insides hugged him perfectly–it was like you were made just for him. you gasp once he’s fully sheathed himself inside of you. his fingers were already a lot to take in, but his cock was something completely different. he moans your name, barely keeping his cool. “fuck- you’re squeezing me so tight,”

“missed everything about you, baby. i need to hold you, please,” he pleads desperately, clasping your small hands against his. the size difference alone between the two of you almost makes him cum, but he holds himself back, choosing to bask in this intimate moment. he’s missed every part about this. “you ready f’me?-”

“-just fuck me, satoru, please-” he doesn’t need another confirmation from you.

he can’t bring himself to hold back. next thing you know, he’s fucking you into the mattress, and you feel the headboard shake at how fast satoru is going. fuck–you feel every part of him, every part of his cock as it slams against your tight hole. he’s so big, you feel yourself gasping for breath, and you moan out loud as you notice the prominent bulge forming in your stomach. it’s him, it’s all him, and it’s driving you mad.

satoru follows your eyes in the midst of all of this, and he watches everything in fascination. he decides to be a little mean, and presses his free hand against your stomach–it feels so good, you could almost scream at the pleasure. “you feel that, baby? that’s all me inside of you, hmm?”

“please-” the onset of pleasure feels so overwhelming, and tears fill your eyes. you feel an oncoming orgasm coming, and you know your release will hit you like a tidal wave. your heart is pounding, but satoru only grips your hand tighter and fucks you even harder. “oh, fuck!”

“m close, baby. are you g’na cum too?” he manages to say between pants, and you somehow nod, mind hazy and your release only coming closer. you feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “cum inside of me, toru- please- i need to feel you-”

gojo groans at your words, and you both cum together. you ride out your high, screaming as you spasm around his cock, the pleasure overfilling your senses until you’re trembling from it. he fills you up, staying inside of you as the two of you catch your breath. everything’s hazy, and you’re barely aware of your surroundings… it takes you a few minutes to recover. 

“angel, are you with me?”

“yeah, fuck, just… give me a second.” you say, and gojo thinks that he would gladly give you all the time in the world if you needed it. he pulls out of you with a hiss, and his warm seed drips out of your cunny. it makes his cock twitch, but he knows that you’re probably not considering a round two right now.

when you come to your senses, you notice satoru–who put his clothes back on already, wiping your legs down with a rag. his touch is so soft, like he’s afraid to break you, unlike how he handled you just a moment ago. you look down and notice the bruises starting to form on your legs and waist. satoru looks guilty as he stares. “i didn’t go too rough with you, did i?”

“not at all,” you reassure him, and you see him soften up a little. “it felt really good, actually… thank you, toru.”

“s nothing. you know my girl only gets the best,” he teases, and you laugh. “i’m gonna go get you some new clothes and some water… i’ll be back, okay?”

you nod, closing your eyes again as satoru leaves the room. he’s back in two minutes, and he’s gently changing you into new clothes that he found in your drawer. you’re so tired that you can hardly move, so you let satoru do all the work. he caresses all of your bruises, apologizing again even if you already said that it was okay. he’s so gentle, a swift juxtaposition to what just happened beforehand, and so soft with you. once you’re clothed again, he brings a glass of water against your lips, and you greedily gulp it down as he keeps a hand on your back. he places it on the nightstand once you’re finished, and you grab his wrist after, tugging him back to the bed. “lay with me for a bit, toru.”

satoru doesn’t hesitate, laying down next to you on the bed and placing your head against his chest. your breathing is back to normal, and you feel his heart thumping against your ear. you wrap your arms around him, and satoru thinks that this moment is so domestic that he can’t help but daydream. he looks at your face, memorizing every feature about you with a lovesick look in his eyes. you’re so beautiful, so perfect, and he’s just so fucking glad that he didn’t lose you. 

satoru thinks he could wake up to this everyday.

“you’re starin.” you say with an amused look on your face. gojo doesn’t even try to play it off. “what’s on your mind?”

“nothing. i just… love you so much, y/n.” he says, pulling you closer and kissing your forehead. satoru would trade anything if it meant that this moment wouldn’t end. “m so glad you chose me.”

“i think it’s the other way around,” you tease. “you chose me. ever since you saw me at the party, you’ve done nothing but try to win my heart.”

“how could i not? there was just something different about you compared to everyone else.” he reminisces about that night at the party, and how far he’s come with his relationship with you. he remembers that night like it just happened yesterday.

you sigh, almost like you were thinking about that night too. you pull him into a kiss, finally finding the courage within you to say a proper “i love you.” to the man who meant the world to you.

“i love you too, angel.” he says, and you snuggle into him tighter. “you know i’ll always choose you…”

“..from this life and into the next. i’m so glad you gave me a chance, y/n. i’ll forever be grateful to now be called your husband. i’m the luckiest man ever knowing that you let me into your life, and i’m the one who gets to read these vows to marry you. i cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. i love you so much, y/n gojo.” he’s crying. gojo satoru is crying, and he’s hardly ever cried before. though, that changed after he met you.

the last time he cried was during pre-k, and now he’s done it time and time again… all because of you. he cried once during your first argument with him, another during the night he thought he’d lost you forever, and then another when he finally had you in his arms again once he proved his innocence… and now, during his wedding, when he finally gets to call you his wife.

and when you share your kiss at the end of the ceremony to symbolize your togetherness, you hear all your friends cheering. mainly shoko, utahime, and geto. if you showed this very scene to shoko during your university years, she’d call you crazy, saying this would never happen. gojo satoru was once a man who’d never willingly committed in a relationship before, but you came into his life and you changed everything about him. it was like magic.

you pull away from the kiss, wiping his tears away and whispering against his lips, drowning out the crowd, “thank you.”

for memorizing all my favorite foods so you could buy them for me. for walking me to class every day. for making me fall in love with you that one day at the park. for waiting for me to slowly love you even when i was scared to love. for waiting for me even if i didn’t trust you. for loving me. for proving those rumors wrong. for proving that satoru gojo is actually capable of falling in love and pouring his heart out to the one he loves the most.

for everything that you have done to love me.

it was like gojo could hear all of your unspoken words. he smiles, letting one more tear roll down his cheek, and says, “it’s all worth it if it’s for you.”

thanks for reading <3 -kami.

[raainberry]

Moonflower - III

« In literature, the moonflower has been used as a symbol of love, mystery, and enchantment. »

Sana x gn!reader

Okay maybe it’s angst this time

synopsis - your job is still flowers. she's still not sure how she got into this mess. but maybe you could get her out of it.

- part I - part II -

wordcount - 3.4K

TW - like three (3) of the same soft cuss word

A/N - here is my first piece of work that made me cry out of frustration (we will be blaming emo hours). now if you saw my breakdown live on the tl two days ago, no you didn’t. and if you saw my update yesterday saying this very thing would be up later that day, no you didn’t either. i fell asleep, your girl was running on three hours of sleep (wonder why🥰) it happens to the best of us SORRY. hope you enjoy it though! im actually not too mad at how it turned out🤭

“How would your wedding look like?” She asked, taking a sip of her water bottle.

You chuckled softly at the question, wondering what had prompted it apart from the obvious.

“I haven’t thought about that.” You answered truthfully.

“Not even once?”

“No.”

“You’re lying.” She said, convinced of her own words.

“Am I?”

“You’ve helped hundreds of people with their own.” She pointed out. “It’s impossible not to think of what yours would look like.”

“I help them choose flowers. I’m not organizing their entire reception.” You argued.

“Then you probably thought about that much.”

You turned to her.

She was right, but you weren’t lying either.

Flowers were the only thing you’d envisioned so far.

“So which is it gonna be?” She insisted.

“Moonflowers.” You answered, making her chuckle.

“I could have guessed that.”

“Yet you haven’t.”

You fully expected the way she rolled her eyes at you before looking away to focus on the dark horizon.

A small, comfortable silence settled between the two of you. One of many throughout this spontaneous outing, and with each one, you seemed to appreciate them a little more.

Because they never seem to last with her.

“I’ll get the moonflowers.” She blurted out, cutting the moment short yet again.

“What?”

“For the wedding.” She said, almost shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Given the context, it was, but still… You stayed silent, thinking back to the very reason you were even sitting beside her at the moment.

The two of you were parked at the top of some small hill overlooking part of the town, laying against the windshield of your car and sitting on top of the hood.

All your problems seemed so small up there, barely even deserving of a thought. The afternoon you just spent together did wonders for your souls.

She had asked you to drive around before going back home. That somehow lead you to hours of wasting gas and money at random shops, most of which you’d never even heard of.

The more you followed her around, the more it all felt like a getaway. Not in the idyllic sense, rather in the literal one. You could tell she was avoiding her apartment. Obviously you had an idea as to why, and maybe that’s what pushed you to give in to every single one of her requests.

It was nice doing things she wanted.

Sana eventually realised that was the true reason why she delayed returning to her apartment over and over. She couldn’t care less about the man living there with her, nor about whether or not he was actually waiting for her there.

She just didn’t want it to stop. The feeling of mattering. Of being considered. Being seen. Heard.

Her smile slowly returned as hours went by, justifying everything you’d done for her in so little time. It gave you purpose, proving you weren’t losing your mind in vain.

Because boy did she drive you insane.

Was she really still going through with it all?

“Why don’t you choose your own?” You asked her, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts.

At the end of the day, it was none of your business. It wasn’t your decision to make.

“Possessive much?” She teased, and you straightened yourself up. The top of this hood suddenly felt uncomfortable.

“Not necessarily. But the only way you’re getting moonflowers at your wedding is by marrying me.”

That’s what you heard yourself say just seconds later.

You’d mumbled it to yourself, letting your old flirting skills and days get the best of you for some reason. You looked at her, hoping she hadn’t heard or at least not enough to get it.

A second passed. Then two. Three.

The lack of questioning was alarming, and in good reason.

You had managed to make her speechless. Unwillingly, yes, but it only made it that much more unbelievable.

Even thinking she couldn’t do, as if her mind had short-circuited at the thought of marrying someone else than the man she’d been conditioned to.

“It was a joke.” You finally spoke up, hoping to break her out of her trance.

It was the truth. It might have been borderline flirting, but the main goal was humor. You were technically joking.

But still. All she did was blink.

Maybe she needed help at finding words, that’s why her lips suddenly fell on yours, right? To steal them from you?

You mentally chuckled at your ridiculous thought process, ashamed of it as if it had been heard by the whole world. Good thing it faded out with each one of her kisses.

She was efficient, you’ll give her that. However what stuck with you was how soft, how delicate her lips were against yours. It debilitated all cognitive functions of your brain. The power was out for at least three seconds at one point. You couldn’t think straight, kissing her back as if you were supposed to.

As if she were yours to begin with.

It’s unclear how long it took for you to gain enough sense back, all you knew was that feeling her bite down on your bottom lip did the trick.

The faint pain as she tugged on it ever so softly snapped you back to reality, warning you about what would come if you didn’t pull away in the next second.

You felt your heart race as it all sunk in.

The one thing you had told yourself not to fall into earlier that day… A trap that seemed so obvious it managed to fool you. You practically jumped into it.

As much as you danced around it, you knew what you were here for. What you’d agreed to. What she wanted you for.

You knew you were just a pawn in her vendetta from the start. She’d made it very clear. So why did the whole idea just dawn on you now?

Maybe you’d turned a blind eye for as long as you could, you couldn’t say to save your life. All you knew was that you didn’t like it one bit.

So when she went for another kiss, leaning in to capture your swollen bottom lip, you made sure she never reached it.

That earned you a confused look from her, as if it were the first time her kiss was denied. The sight would have been amusing, if only you didn’t feel so torn yourself…

Your gaze reflected that to Sana, and she had a hard time figuring out what exactly was it that was so wrong.

Though she could at least tell you were tormented, it was only confirmed when you jumped off the hood.

She watched as you started to walk away from the car and further into the darkness surrounding you.

Where the hell were you going? You were basically in the middle of nowhere.

“Y/N!”

The sound of the rocks and dirt beneath your shoes faded out as you came to a halt, feeling her eyes burning into your back.

“Where are you going?”

You turned around, seeing she had stepped off the hood too, and taken a few steps towards you.

“I’m going home.” You told her, tearing your eyes off her as you started walking away again.

“So you’re leaving me alone in some hilltop at night in the middle of nowhere?”

No, you weren’t.

You made sure to brush right past her on your way back, though, heading straight into the driver’s seat.

Slamming the door behind you, you let out a heavy sigh you were sure she’d heard from outside. It took longer than you’d have liked for her to join you, only sitting in the passenger seat after making sure you’d calmed down.

Not a word from her. Not a sound from you. Only your clothes rubbing together as your leg showed itself to be restless.

You refused to look at her. She didn’t like the attitude, but a part of her could understand. So she didn’t say anything, and stared out her own window in silence.

As minutes went by, your anger and frustration slowly get overcome by a familiar sensation.

Greed. You wanted to know.

Nothing about this woman concerned you. Yet you wanted to know more. You needed to.

The feeling appeared as soon as she’d spoken up at the flower shop, and now it managed to appear without a single word from her.

It was only days ago. The speed of it all was frightening.

Yet you couldn’t help how curious the still silhouette in the corner of your eye made you. What was she thinking about now?

The wedding? Her fiancé? Herself? You?

Turning to look at her, you watched her through a calmer mind as your questions grew in number despite yourself.

“What’s on your mind?” You finally spoke up.

Your voice was louder than you remembered. It startled her, but she hid it well before meeting your gaze.

“Nothing you’d care about.”

You frowned internally. The same feeling as back in the flower shop again. You felt it back when she sat down beside you on the hood earlier too.

She was close. She was pretty. So pretty.

You suddenly felt jealous, and that pretty much signed off on the insanity of this situation you’d somehow put yourself in. Or maybe she’d dragged you in it, who cares, it wasn’t important anymore.

“Don’t get married.”

You whispered this time, but the words were still loud.

Sana closed her eyes, and the silence that followed was loud enough to stress about it. Your words had slipped out again, but this time you found nothing to cover them up with.

Partly because you didn’t even want to cover them up.

Her eyes opened again, allowing the cheap lighting outside to reflect on those beautiful brown eyes. You were in awe at that point. Tired, but still able to appreciate such a pretty sight.

“You’re so unfair.”

You snapped out of your trance at the sound of your own thoughts echoing through her lips.

“What?”

“You know why I brought you here, right?”

Her gaze fixated far ahead while you could only focus on hers. You weren’t trying to make her look at you, though. You were only trying to see what she was seeing.

“Answer me.” She ordered, attempting to conceal the weakness in her voice.

“I do.” You admitted.

“Then help me.” She pleaded. “I can’t do it alone.”

“I’m trying to.” You assured her. “Ever since you stepped into the shop, that’s all I’ve done.”

“Then why did you pull away?”

You sighed once more, finding interest out the windshield as well. Your lips parted without sound for a second, debating on whether or not you should let these words slip out too…

“I don’t want to be your scapegoat.”

Sana swallowed the knot in her throat. The truth was a little hard, but it remained. You were right.

She didn’t plan on kissing you earlier. That alone could have proven your worries to be wrong. However, everything she managed to think about as soon as her lips touched yours… It all gave you more than one reason to worry.

Giving in to desire was weak on her part. Part of her regretted it. It threw away all her hopes of ever pulling the spectacular revenge she dreamed about.

So she had to think of a backup plan.

What she managed to come up with was simple, deprived of any details she would normally be able to think of. Infatuation only allowed her to think of the big picture, while she focused on satisfying her desire.

By that point, she did plan on sleeping with you. She did plan on letting her fiancé find out. And after that, she did plan on throwing you under the bus if things ever got too much to handle.

Now that her mind was given time to properly think, she realised something very upsetting.

This so called backup plan was none other than her inital one. One she’d made up in the lowest point of her life, all out of hope and lost in purpose.

She was back at square one.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, making you look back at her.

Her eyes were closed, and you found out it was a weak attempt at stopping the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

The sight of them surprisingly left you indifferent. You stared at her in silence for a few long seconds, unsure of what to do, or say.

You were hesitant, but you were far from heartless.

Your index finger ended up reaching for her jaw, catching the salted droplet before it stained the fabric of her pants below. The one on the other side of her face might have, but that wasn’t something to worry about for either of you.

Sana’s mind was stuck on your finger lingering on her sharpest bone. The feeling of your skin against hers, of a touch as innocent as this one… It was conflicting.

She opened her eyes, catching yours by surprise. She expected you to, but you didn’t look away this time. That allowed her to notice the color of your eyes for the first time.

She couldn’t tell you why she got stuck on such a detail, and to be honest, she didn’t feel the need to find a reason.

She could, so she did. Something else she hadn’t been able to do in a long while.

And it felt good.

“Y/N…”

Your jaw clenched at the sound. Your name sounded so pretty enlaced in that sweet voice of hers…

You felt your breath catch in your throat as you anticipated her next words. The flutter in your chest made itself known again as the adrenaline left little room for shock when she’d eventually say them.

“Do you still want to sabotage a wedding?”

A heavy sigh freed the breath that had caught in your throat.

It dawned on you yet again. Hearing those words for a second time… You were going in circles. This really was nothing but a trap.

You didn’t know if she’d done it on purpose, if she lured you in or if she was just as stuck as you were—Hell, you didn’t even care.

You just needed to get out while you could.

So your hand found the key in the ignition, and it took no time for you to start the car up.

The sound of the engine revving as you prepared to leave triggered something in the woman sitting next to you. Something that made her heart race as she began mumbling something.

It seemed as though she was repeating something under her breath, her gaze out in the dark around you and absent like she’d retreated within her own mind.

Her words were loud enough for you to notice she was saying something, but not enough to understand it.

You froze at the scene, unsure if you should hear her out, reassure her or step on the gas. It was obvious what you should do, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to.

So she made you do it herself.

“I don’t want to go back!” She yelled over the engine, and grabbed onto your arm.

You let go of the key, her fingers tightening around your forearm as her eyes looked for yours.

“I don’t want to go back.” She repeated, her voice barely a whisper.

Your eyebrows furrowed, something you could only feel as your body reacted to her once more. You didn’t know what hurt more; seeing the tears pool in her eyes as she struggled to hold them back or her nails digging though the fabric and into your skin.

“Please...”

You couldn’t answer as something on her hand distracted you from the pain. Something shiny. A glimmer on her ring finger—most likely diamonds. Might as well have been rocks; it held no value in that so called promise between her and that man. At the least it didn’t for one of them.

You looked back at the bearer, your jaw tense as you thought. Your mind flashed back to mere moments ago. Why was she still wearing it? She had no right to. Not after leaving such betrayal on your lips.

“Then take it off.” You spoke up, your voice hoarse as if you’d been yelling for liberation.

Her mind was shaken, desperate to see through eyes that looked so unfamiliar now.

Your gaze was stern. It all looked blurry, as if you’d built a wall in front of what she had access to just moments ago…

“What?”

“The ring, Sana. Take it off.”

She barely glanced down at her own hand before looking back at you. The chuckle tasted bitter on your tongue.

“You can’t even face it.”

“That’s all I’ve been telling you.” She let out a defeated sob. “Why don’t you just do it for me?”

You looked back down at her hand, and her gaze followed yours to land there as well. She hated the sight of it. It felt as though it had been there forever.

All she dreamed about was taking it off.

All you had to do was take it off.

So you did, and finally slipped the ring off her finger, holding it between two of your own.

She mindlessly watched as your thumb and index rolled it around to observe it above the steering wheel. All that pain. All that torment. All because of a single, shiny metal ring.

“Doesn’t it feel lighter?” You spoke in an attempt to pull her out of her own mind. The last thing she needed was to get lost in it.

“I…” She trailed off, looking down at her hand, and finally seeing her finger naked in what felt like a lifetime. “It does.”

You trapped the jewel inside your fist, sighing as you leaned back against the back of your seat.

“What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well…” Your hand found the commands of the automatic windows, pushing the button to roll yours down. “Whatever you do, you take care of yourself.”

Most people would have asked what the hell you were doing. If that ring didn’t hold any sentimental value, financially, it still held its own.

Not Sana, though. She didn’t seem phased by your action as she watched it land who knows where.

“Wait…” She trailed off, rewinding your words. “Are you not going to stick around?”

“I did all I could, Sana.” You started, your eyes focused out the open window as a breeze helped to dry off the tears before they even formed. “I kept my word and helped you. I took it off. But you’re gonna need to face him yourself.”

“But I can’t do it alone—“

“You have to.” You snapped, turning back to look at her. You ignored her lips parted in surprise, and continued. “If what I’ve learned about you in this short time is true, it’s the only way you’ll ever be free.”

“What have you learned?”

“Nothing.” You scoffed. “That’s why you have to do it. You’re the only one who actually knows how to deal with this. I can be by your side all you want, but I’ll never be any help. No one ever will.”

Your rant caused a small sob to escape her lips, and she ignored your surprise when she reached for your hand. You could only let her again, allowing yourself to relish in her touch and find pleasure in your body’s reactions to it.

You looked down at your joined hands, watching her intertwine them. You found yourself responding to her touch, your fingers closing around hers.

“Then at least stay.”

You softly caressed the top of her thumb, giving yourself some time to actually think before agreeing this time.

“On one condition.” You said, finding her eyes.

“What is it?”

You glanced down at your tangled hands.

It was an insane thing to look at. To feel. It didn’t make any sense. You’d only met her three days ago. You’d only spent an afternoon, part of an evening with her.

Yet so much happened. So much was felt.

You blinked, and her hand was still in yours. It felt good. But it lacked warmth.

It was telling.

At that moment in time, deep down, you knew this wouldn’t last.

Maybe you’ll part ways right after she’d break the engagement off. Maybe you’ll date and break up once you realise it was all comfort and reassurance disguising as love and affection. Maybe she won’t even break the engagement off.

Whatever the reason, you knew you wouldn’t see her at your wedding.

So you had to make one last thing clear.

“I keep the moonflowers.”

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e6 live episode reaction

okay, holy shit

this episode's gonna have to do a LOT bc last episode was everything good in the world

man, Geoff is so sweet I love him

MR FAROOOUUUKKKKKK MR FAROUK AND HIS LIL FIST BUMPS

not the rugby lads 😭

"I still relapsed two weeks after" oh no

oh no please don't show it

OH THEYRE SJPWING IT DONT FIGHT PLEASE

did he just tell nick to fuck off? oh my god

NOOOOOO

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT TORI AND NICK

9h my god

ohmtmgkd

bro this isn't good

oh my god

"he's seen me at my absolute rock bottom and hasn't run away screaming" AND HE'S NOT GONNA! #FutureHusbands #FutureDads

TEN YEARS IN AND HAVING MARITAL PROVLEMS OH MY GO D

BRO I WAS *KIDDING* WITH THE HASHTAG

geoff is so funny though I love him

OH. OKAY.

"more energy" yeah that's what we're calling it now huh

geoff's knowing look lmfao

bro I love geoff

ELLE IS IG FAMOUS OMG

not a radio interview? oh god

seeing charlie play the drums again has me emo (prob also nick's thought process)

THEYRE SEEING SEXY JACK MADDOX

oh they're kissing

oh they're Kissing™

they're like fr kissing oh my god they're GOING AT IT STOP IT SLUTS

WHAT

"and it's obvious we both want to" okay I am LIVING for this change from the book

WHAT WHAT

WHAT

NO YOU HAVEN'T?

YOU'VE DONE NOTHING

WDYM OVER THE CLOTHES CHARLIE YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING AT THIS POINT

WH A T

it is Incredibly Extremely Hilariously accurate that the one aroace in the group actually wants to hear all the details nskfjsofjdofk most ace people I know are *so* nasty so this tracks so much

TAO I SWEAR

FIERY PASSION STOP ITJFKGJDLGKLDKG

"we've all heard the story" god I know this man called them up the next morning like I'M NO LONGER A VIRGIN

WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN CHARLIE'S SEX LIFE AND NOT MINE SKFISIFUSOFUDIGUDOGUFOGIFOGIFIGIDKG

WE KNOW YOU LOVE SEXY TIME

oh my god they're so annoying

but I gotta pause because I need like

a moment

wdym nick and charlie have "not done nothing" like this is a huge deviation from the books. not an unwelcome one but I've been psyching myself up for this because I love them but they're my babies

so hearing this is so..........

like over the clothes is still sex isn't it

like "IT'S NOT LIKE WE'VE DONE NOTHING" CHARLES?

oh..... I wasn't prepared to see the scars

haha ha haha hah ha

PLEASE DON'T BREAK ANYTHING OR BE SICK ANYWHERE KSJFKDFJDKFJDLFJ

"that sounds like a note for imogen" "HOW DID I GET THIS REPUTATION" oh I don't know baby how did you

okay

nick and imogen vs charlie and sahar......... loving this actually

bro nick and imogen being groupies together tho :(

oh mh god babies

O

OH

MICHAEL

MICHAEL HOLDEN

MICHAEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

oh my god

how is that literally michael im in tears

MEOW - MEOW - MEOW

okay elleargentupdates we get it you love your girlfriend

LETS GO ZAHEANEY

"what I do know is I don't wanna keep hurting you" oh baby girl

"you made me realize something pretty big about myself" "I guess I could say the same about you" oh my darlings :(

also is that immy admitting that she's also into girls bc, love that

"we'd be awful together" NO YOU WOULDN'T GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

"I like us better as friends" oh babies

NOT BABY IMOGEN AND SAHAR I'M GONNA CRY BABIES

"is it sustainable? I'm trying to do my bit" JSKFJSKFJSKGJDKGK IMOGEN I LOVE YOU

god I love them I still want them to get together

CHARLIE ISAAC AND TAO ALL DRUNK TOGETHER SKFJDKFUDKFJF

NOT CHARLIE ON NICK'S LAP AAAAAAAA

GOOD 4 U I'M DUIGJFKDJGLDKGLD

joe personally texted olivia for the rights to this song I know it

TORI AND MICHAEL AND THEIR DRINKS IM GONNA LITERALLY RIP MY ARMS OFF

[rips clothes off and runs down the street] SPROOOOOLLLLDDDEEEENNNNNN

oh

'business or politics' yea sounds like imogen

oh Tara baby no

TARA NOOOO Bby

oh my god???

CHARLIE?????????

oh my god charlie is so good

bro nick looking at them with that face..... bro's thinking "yeah that's my future baby daddy"

"that was amazing" "I'm so drunk right now" kskfldjfkdjfkdjgld

"don't ever leave me" "wasn't planning on it" oh man they're gonna wreck me next season

charlie seems so cuddly like this :(

"I've been thinking about something" "what" "you and me" OH DONT SAY IT WHILE YOU'RE DRUNK

WE COULD DO THINGS???

NO HES NOT SAYING IT WHILE DRUNK

"WE COULD HAVE SEX" NOT WHILE YOU'RE DRUNK CHARLES

"I think about it all the time" "yeah, so do I" oh you horny little miscreants

"that was a long time ago" fr it's been almost a year like let's be so serious

NOT WHILE YOU'RE DRUNK CHARLES

yeah nick exactly

oh he's trying to use liquid courage :( charlie no

"OH SHIT" lmao honestly

"and then we were in the kitchen and..." CHARLIE'S PANIC FACE LMAO

TORI AND MICHAEL WAKING NICK AND CHARLIE UP

bro all I want from life is nick/charlie/tori/michael like please give them a sitcom I want all 4 of them and nobody else

"I can make egg on toast. you look like you need egg on toast" responsible parent michael holden

NICK AND CHARLIE LOOKING AT TORI LIKE THAT SKFKDKFJFKF

nick gets to tease her too they've bonded for life! favorite in laws ever!

the way nick looks at them kills me, that man has his eye on them the way he had his eye on tao and elle. he's manifesting

"ready to meet the love of your life?" "you're so jealous right now" kskfksofkdof oh nick baby

oh elle baby

oh

oh wait no

BRO WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS BITCH

"well, your speaker last week was transphobic, then" GO OFF ELLE

what the fuck that was so fuckin nasty

oh elle baby

oh my god elle's parents are the best im gonna cry

oh elle baby

NOT THE COPPER JOKE SKFJDLFKDLFKDLGKD

oh my god that was the single most embarrassing scene I've ever watched

what the fuck that was AWFUL IM DHINGKDKFKDKFLDKFDL

Jskdjslfjsldk NICK

yeah I love you Jonny boy but I'm not gonna be watching that scene again

oh

OH OKAY

OKAYYYY LETS KEEP THIS ENERGY GOING

oh charlie no

oh

HANDS ABOVE WAISTS MISTERS

ohhhh

OH FUCK

oh right. charlie's house. open door policy. horrifying.

but thank god bc charlie was making me so nervous

"you know I really fancy you. infinitely more than jack maddox" broooo

I really love the way they included jack maddox in this episode tho like. as a way to bring up unrealistic body standards and all that shit

"I want you" if that man looked at me like that and said that to me i would literally faint

but yeah, please god not at charlie's house lmao

oh the therapy session :( I love geoff so much he's so sweet

"there's free condoms at reception" lmao oh my god

aw the birbs

god what a fun episode. AND I HAVE MICHAEL NOOOOOWWWWWWWW. I love this show *so* deeply*

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[uglyduckling339]

KY'S LIFE IS STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE NONSENSE LIVEBLOG: Episode 4

(HUGE spoilers ahead !! don't complain if u read ahead w/out being ready)

tutorial chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3

chat this episode was so fucking ass holy ever loving god.

I'VE BEEN TRYNA BE NICE AND OPTIMISTIC BC I DO LIKE THE GAME BUT UM.. HUH??

starting off strong they changed the wolf squad sweater to the chloe price cosplay.. no hate tho bc max kinda served cunt w the look ngl

"you really white-privileged your way into all the cool powers" LMAO okay self-awareness😭 lowkey real tho bc i love daniel (and alex seems cool) but out of the 3, Max has the best powers

YIPPIE MAX CRYING !!

i loved the talk about LiS 1 and how it impacted max, although i wish it was a little deeper (im never satisifed w max's emo-ness lmao)

ykw i said im never satisifed but i deadass have a whole paragraph tweaking out abt the convo LMAOO

bro i thought ts was a multiverse doppleganger story at rhe beginning of the game tbh

highkey disapointed bc i was hella invested in the doppleganger thing :( ily safi tho

why is safi giving chloe ep 2 core rn.. girl max has BEEN THROUGH IT, why dont u listen to the girl who C L E A R L Y knows what she's talking abt

safi: would u shoot me 🥺🥺🥺🥺

me (lying so far out my ass its unreal): no !!

chat max is SO FUCKING FINE. even with this ugly ass cosplay i need her so bad its insane

idk how restraining orders work but cant Safi not go near Lucas w his temp one?? how is this even gonna work

oh brother this mission is so ass

welp this def reminds me of a Life Is Strange game !! (lame ass mission that sadly furthers the plot)

OH MY GOD IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD PARTY FROM LiS

ts is corny asf, lazy asf, and boring asf.

okay i think Maya was supposed to be giving Rachel Amber but she had such a weird storyline and it is lowkey jus confusing me

so Lucas murdered Maya the same way Jeffershit does to Kate ? damn yeah ok fine thats actually sad

Nooooo the pretenous off brand jefferson isn't a good guy!?!? nooo :(

(i have literally zero drafts abt this mission; the gingerbread house thing was sad but the main story was boring and too short for any detailed commentary)

Safi this is NOT shapeshifting wtf

girl what did lucas say to u damn😭

real talk why isn't max being affected like the others? is safi delibrately not hurting her? thats kinda gay

BRO WHERE DID THE TORNADO COME FROM

"people's headaches are getting worse" MAMA A STORM BEHIND YOU ❤️

dude this is literally so not right. this is not how the storm worked in LiS 1.

oh god what the hell

this is lame as FUCK dude holy hell

THATS IT??? THAT WAS SO SHORT???

okay um. i have opinions for sure:

this chapter def felt rushed. it honestly feels like they ran out of storylines and said "ykw? they REALLY liked life is strange 1, lets just do that again !!"

hopefully episode 5 makes it better bc i do like this game, but jesus this episode was not as good as it could've been.

[furious-mango]

Another one crazy AU idea.

What if mphfpc was a feel-good comedy with the elements of musical? No one’s dead, everyone’s happy And the main character isn’t Jacob

Who then? Bentham brothers

[idk where's Alma in this au so feel free to add somethin to the story to fulfill her absence]

I see it so clear because you know what? It’s The Greatest Showman!

Phineas Taylor Barnum [P.T.!!!] Look at this man! He looks like both Jack and Myron imho

They’re like two sides of man actually. The one who wants SHOW and applause and to be looked upon with delight and so on And another, who wants show too but also wants to be with his family / loved ones

The Greatest Show [beginning]

How handsome he is.. i cant handle

In de beningi... ngi... nevermind. In the beginning he appears more calm but clearly enjoys the action. That's Myron's feature

That last part when the lights and music fades away but he keeps quietly singing those words…. im gonna start crying rn

I feel like Myron is lost in himself and in what he's doing but keeps going. Jack, on the other hand, is confident

The Other Side

oh look who's there! So young and yet innocent Percival Murmeow

Jack recruting Percy to quit loop life and join his emo band / circus / rebellious group etc. [underline as appropriate]

and after that they're dancing on tables. we all want to see Jack and almost drunk Percival dancing on tables and then makin the deal of their life.

"Sir, it looks like you have yourself a junior partner" "What I have is an overcompensated apprentice"

[oh shut up. I love them all sooo much]

Actually there's still some kind of rebel happening. But it's the Art rebellion. And they're singing:

Forget the cage, 'cause we know how to make the key Oh, damn! Suddenly we're free to flyyy

Just to rewatch this masterpiece with new perception:

Percy is younger (late teens I think) but soon he’ll become taller and overgrow Jack^^

Aand we're moving on to Myron!

Once again my man is lost and distraught. I want to hug him very tight... But he isn't broken. He has so much strengh inside

From now on These eyes will not be blinded by the lights From now on What's waited 'til tomorrow starts tonight Tonight

Let this promise in me start Like an anthem in my heart From now on From now on

And he will come back home... Home, again.... *distant sobbing*

The Greatest Show [end]

Jack is basking in the light and glory

I think even in this au Jack might want to gain divine powers. Just to make his show more breathtaking, spektacular, thrilling etc.

[imagined blue-cloud-Caul singing The Greatest Show with many voices…… creepy. but also epic]

Myron is also here! Finally living his best life

the grimbear instead of elephant. Now it's Myron riding PT

aand im done with going insane with characters and songs. or maybe not... Anyway! Thanks for reading! please tell me what do you think about it. i really wanna talk about mphfpc///

[ayameyumesaki]

I'm glad I looked forward to Re;ssurection ch. 15 because damn I'm close to tears... Schnee, good boy good boy 😭

[Spoiler ahead, you've been warned!]

This chapter is talking about Schnee and Suzaku, along with Schneizel sending Lancelot and Guren's frame coat thingy. There aren't many differences in Schneizel scene, but hey, we're gonna get Cornelia talking to Zero!Lelouch next chapter.

The thing I want to talk today is the additional Schnee and Suzaku scene which is... pretty heartwarming and needed, especially in Suzaku's side. I'm not going to reveal everything, my main focus is what Schnee said to Suzaku.

In previous chapter, we saw Schnee going somewhere with Kallen which is kinda revealed here but anyway Suzaku was about to talk to Lelouch (yes shut up im totally emo he actually went out to search him in his condition just to say 'im glad you're alive' askdjaljfkahflajd) and Lelouch said he should talk to Schnee first and they did. At first Lelouch wants to leave but Schnee said it has to do with Lelouch too.

Then, he revealed that he saw the documents Ledo left behind about them so he knew the situation. He also said it was by his own will he came there. He then told Suzaku that he attacked Suzaku after the FLEIJA bombing because he was mad and tried to deny it, he also fled because of that. Since he was aware that it was never by Suzaku's will, he regretted the fact he attacked Suzaku that day.

That's why when Schnee said he found out that Suzaku is still alive, he was happy but also angry, much like how Suzaku thought about Lelouch in prev chapter :) Fun enough, he also questioned the same thing as Suzaku did in previous chapters, but in calmer way.

"Like, why don't you tell me anything about it,"

Fun enough, the way they showed this line was with Suzaku looking extra sad and guilty like how he always did in manga version, and Lelouch... Oh, Lelouch.

Then, comes the scene that makes me, cry. Literally cry, because the way Suzaku responded to it as well...

Schnee: When I heard your rescue mission is a success from Kallen-san, I was thinking about punching you at least once (hence, in prev chapter, Kallen told Suzaku to be prepared for another punch lol). But, like this... There's no way I can punch you who is hurted like this... Suzaku: Schnee...

Do you mean I waited two weeks for... Schnee trying to comfort Suzaku 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he even cared for him.... I mean I just want Schnee to have a talk with Suzaku and this???????? Damn, Lelouch, step up your game before your bf is snatched by someone else.

Cough.

Anyway, Schnee brought Suzaku his Zero outfit.

Suzaku: To support my back, huh? Schnee: No, Suzaku-san's and Lelouch-san's. Both of yours. Zero is a hero you two created. That Zero must be able to save Nunnally-sama from this difficult condition.

Please notice about Suzaku's face. He looked kinda... mad or serious. It's certainly the face he showed as Knight of Zero, so I think it's serious. Lelouch also smiled. Zero is the symbol of justice they created together--- Lelouch is the Zero during the war and bring the peace to the world, while Suzaku is the Zero who protects the said peace with everything he has. Schnee told them that he supports both Zero.

Suzaku: Schnee, I... Schnee: Suzaku-san, even now, you are the existence I admired the most. That's why, the gratitude I wasn't able to convey that day, please let me say it again to you after this problem ends.

You see, it could be because our Suzaku is always and always been guilty driven boy he is since he was 10, so I think, here, he wants to deny Schnee's words. But Schnee is... Suzaku's subordinate for a reason. He didn't accept a no, much like his benefactor, so he just left without letting Suzaku spoke even a word and Lelouch commented on it.

It's beautiful to see how Schnee's act in Lancelot & Guren ended with him being able to tell Suzaku directly about what he actually felt. Schnee is always been the most honest one between Konoe Knights, and Suzaku was certainly grateful for his existence---and even Ledo's. Though it wasn't mentioned, you can see how much it pains him to meet Schnee, but he probably wanted to apologize anyway, because he always knew Ledo is someone precious to Schnee too, much like how they are to Suzaku. I'm glad Schnee showed to Suzaku how much he actually cares for him... Something that no one in the series showed it directly to him, probably, after Euphy.

Schnee's matter aside, we should remember that in the movie, Suzaku actually told Lelouch to return to be Zero. While Suzaku didn't say it during his conversation with Lelouch in the tower, through this scene, I think Suzaku actually wanted to tell Schnee about him stopping to be Zero. I think there is a scene where he said that his existence as Zero is a mere decoration---I think it was during that scene with Lelouch, I forgot in where though.

But clearly, through the manga, I could feel many reasons for him to think twice about his position as Zero. While Suzaku is ultimately accepted his fate to be hated as shown with the airport incident, with his inability to protect Nunnally and let her to be kidnapped and Lelouch returned, he felt even weaker than he ever was. Unlike during the wartime where he actually had a clear purpose to create a peaceful world and return Japan to freedom, Suzaku didn't have that clear purpose either, except he should live. His mentality was probably on the lowest, and you could see in that scene where he stood in the middle of an empty room, probably thinking, he was more than ready to return things back to how it should be. The manga showed how much pain he actually felt as Zero, which no one could see, through his expressions. And I'm glad this chapter explored it.

Additional comment: In this scene, Lelouch praised Suzaku about Schnee, and Suzaku said "it is something they imposed by themselves", then they stood watching the sunset. The author commented "one can feel the distance between the shadows of those two who stood next to each other, but Lelouch still enveloped the black cloth to his body".

Pretty good as a whole package. Can't wait to see Cornelia being mad and pointed her sword to Suzaku and Lelouch next. I want to see how that Cornelia goes about to kill him then say "I'm glad that you're okay". 😭

[dromaeo-sauridae]

drop the spoilers of the bad stuff real

under cut incase anyone else cares about spoilers. im assuming you mean the stuff i mentioned before that was making me want to leave, it wasnt due to the movie itself it was really just stuff that i personally didnt want to watch and wasnt prepared for. read reviews and warnings before going to movies kids this was a doozy 👍 tw for animal abuse and experimentation

gotg3 goes in depth about rocket’s backstory, if you dont know he was part of a bunch of experiments. i closed my eyes for most of it cuz experimentation stuff especially on kids or animals grosses me out real bad. they go into it REAL HARD all throughout the movie, idk how much they actually showed but my mother and sister said there was a part where they mutate a turtle and its apparently really gross.

rocket has friends who were all experimented on as well and when he tries to break all of them out they all get killed. hes kept alive because of an anomaly in his brain(? im gonna be honest i was covering my ears, the sound was HORRIBLE it was so loud it gave me a headache so i had my eyes closed and ears covered at this point. thats why he managed to escape and survive, they didnt want to damage his brain).

the whole plot of the movie is the guy who did all this shit to rocket wants him back so he can have his brain, and while attempting to kidnap him rocket gets shot (or hit i couldnt tell, the whole scene was complete chaos and again i had my ears covered cuz FUCKING LOUD). theres multiple fairly graphic scenes where hes convulsing n shit, and they have no way to help him due to the guy (I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME HES JUST THE GUY TO ME I NEVER READ THE COMICSSHSHAH) installing a kill switch on his heart so that if any surgery or anything gets done itll kill him.

it was bad enough to make me cry over a raccoon and i cant stand raccoons irl they make my skin crawl. but i always liked guardians and rocket was my favorite (i have two cats named rocket and groot. i love em) so watching this kinda sucked. i will say though, i havent watched a marvel movie since i think endgame and i havent been impressed with anything they do, but all of the stuff i couldnt watch aside (plus like 1 other thing)… its a good movie. i probably wouldnt watch it again and suffering through chris pratt being emo that his girlfriend lost her memories(???? I DONT REMEMBER THIS FROM ENDGAME BTW?? WAS THIS IN ANOTHER MOVIE) was really annoying, it was good. i liked the ending and was prepared to see rocket die horribly, which didnt happen thank GOD.

all that to say the VERY FIRST SCENE OF THE MOVIE made me so nauseous i almost threw up and seeing the part where rocket figures out that hes a raccoon made me cry. good movie probably wouldnt recommend

[m1ckeyb3rry]

SHSHS YOU SHOUDOVE TOLD ME ABOUT THE SHITTING TYPO LMAOAOA im crying if I hadn’t gone back to read the tl myself it would’ve just sat there un-addressed forever….I was even thinking of making a master note of all the TLs I’ve had so far just to organize imagine I just copy pasted that omg…maybe I should’ve slapped it into grammarly or some spell check before hand

But FR shidou actually hyping people up when he acknowledges vs Emo Rin…

No I completely get it it’s like when you start using like a cringe term ironically and then it just integrates itself into your vocab LMAOOO I know the feeling all too well…

OMGGG guys oaeu is fr happening….wait now I’m torn past me would’ve immediately slammed the Karasu button but after our convo im not sure??? Karasu for obv reasons but wait the otoya ideas we talked abt were way too entertaining and the Nagi double date and then also aiku being like “Barou needs bitches” GUYS decisions…………………….and how could I forget our yuki prince aiku discussion too omfg

REAL lowk I see a lot of nagi hate nowadays?? Mostly the people going “haha nagi fraud” or “nagi u suck apologize to Reo rn” so errrrr I’m gonna need kaneshiro to show us the matches of other stratums pls im lowk sick of Isagi’s face I NEED to know what goes on in scenes Isagi isn’t in pls im begging (channel ur inner kaneshiro and save us please)

I’m ngl I was pretty caught up but I don’t remember anything about his backstory LMAOO based on his character im sure you’re right tho

Also WAITTT I ALMOST FORGOT ABT YUN I love him he was so cute but chigiri as yun so real….I could’ve sworn he also had a moment where people were like “you’re a dude???” Which kinda aligns with the whole chigiri “princess” thing LOL

Wait that’s actually lowk such a smart way to decide HAHAHAH lmk how the results of that go….ive seen a bunch of matchup events floating around too I hadn’t realized how popular they were

I’m not even kidding it’s a little scary how accurate your kiyora feels…like in your previous response you were like “I think I got it somewhat right?” and I went in reading it expecting it to be maybe a little off maybe more violent since that’s what you described it as and then I proceeded to read and it was just canon kiyora. Witchcraft. Kaneshiro is actually invading your brain telling you what to do.

Kiyora being kinda shy and showing his crush a more private, somewhat vulnerable side to him>>>> he’s lowk cuter than I originally thought is this a conversion moment….ill hold onto this sentiment LMAO kiyoranese has me laughing so hard I lowk see the instrument vibes but I’m ngl I think I prefer this one over the instrument…maybe also because I don’t like Kaiser as much HAHA both are so good though….

THATS ACTUALLY TERRIFYING I’m glad you both are safe bc wtf..maybe you should invest in a bottle of pepper spray jic SHEGAJ

LMAOO is the one who mouthed sorry also the one you turned down with an excuse or is this a different person (if it’s different you really have some crazy rizz aura because that was really quick work) ok but no violence is good I was reading that thinking like “wait how much of this is non fiction……”

Checking off another Mira banger off the list…excited for whatever’s next and also the oaeu….

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO no it was funny and i didn’t want to embarrass you plus i kinda forgot it once i started typing so i did not say anything i’m sorry 😩 next time i will though

YESSSS OAEU IS HAPPENING literally so hype it’s going to be so much fun plus season 2 starts soon so it’s like the perfect time to be working on it because the anime onlies are going to get into tabieitaken and aiku which is perf 🤩 LMAOO i’ve fed enough karasu content that the world is no longer starving so it’s more like bonus atp 😏 HAHA funnily enough reo was winning the poll for a WHILE there but now karasu’s in the lead again 😭 it might just be an audience bias thing though because there’s no way if you get random people from the fandom to vote they would pick karasu over sae nagi AND reo 😰 we’ll see there’s still a bit of time before the poll ends so the winner def isn’t locked in yet!! i think reo is second place atm (possibly tied w sae) and karasu is winning w barou in third but who knows how it will all play out

EVERYONE SWITCHED UP ON NAGI SOOOO FAST it’s like they all forgot who carried isagi in the second selection 😱 truly there would be no bllk if nagi wasn’t there to score 90% of team white’s goals 😭 and he was also the first to score on the u20s like i need everyone to put respect back on my man’s name 😒 he’s going to comeback TRUST and when he does everyone will start glazing again but i’ll know…i’ll remember 🙂‍↕️

YESS i distinctly remember yun being mistaken for a girl and being called pretty (he also calls himself pretty a lot iirc) so it’s literally perfect for chigiri!! maybe i have a type in the kind of media i like watching or smth the parallels are kinda going crazy

yeahhh they are surprisingly popular!! i haven’t done a ton before (one of my old mutuals did them so i think i did a jjk one and got noritoshi + choso + yuta so basically i’m pomegranate ink y/n 🤩) but i think it will be fun to see for like curiosity’s sake yk plus it might make me more decisive on who/what to write for…or not LMAO imagine i get shidou bruh i’d be at a loss for words (i don’t THINK i will but the chances are never 0 yk)

LMAOOOO that’s so good to hear i was worried i made him too extreme especially because when i answered you it had been a bit since i had finished so like the most memorable parts to me were him getting in the fight and him talking abt how he beat up the mayor’s son but i forgot he’s pretty chill for the most part in the fic!!

HAHA omg kiyoraism incoming…idt he’ll ever break into my top three (nagi karasu barou the it girls of the miraverse fr) but he’s def growing on me honestly he’s rlly sweet in his own way 🥹 no i def feel that because neither of us have ever been into kaiser + w the instrument it’s almost a less relatable story?? since the reader is a famous actress instead of a regular person…plus kaiser is the opposite of kiyora he seems chill and sweet on the outside but on the inside he’s a little off putting whereas kiyora is ready to smack a bitch on the outside but on the inside he’s just a cutie who gives people grape candy if he likes them and the latter is def a trope that i think we both enjoy more LMAOAAO

IT WAS SCARY and okay so there were actually three guys that night — the one who said sorry (he only half counts though ig because it was dubious whether we were being friendly or if he liked my best friend or me), the one who i rejected by saying i was too drunk, and the one who slid into my linkedin dms 😭😭😭 the rizz aura is a little crazy to be honest like just today i was at the library to print out my resume and a guy asked for my instagram (also was not into him alas but i did give him the insta because why not) bruh it sounds like i’m making it all up or smth but trust it’s 100% real…i’m only chronically online on the inside externally i look normal enough to be approachable ig 😩💔 HELP IF THERE WAS AN ACTUAL FIGHT I WOULD’VE CRIED luckily he just yelled at us a ton but i did use some direct quotes and paraphrases from him to really liven up the story FJFHSJSJ

ANOTHER BANGER DONE now i need to figure out which req i want to be inspired for next and get to work so we can get to the oaeu 🤩 not counting yours i have 5 left to do so hopefully i can get them out quickly!! two hiori ones, two karasu ones, and a nagi req 🤩 plus the ones you sent in ofc and then i got a req last night also for nagi but they missed the cutoff so i’ll work on that post oaeu

[judesbelligoal]

never dating a man ever again. Broke up with my first ever boyfriend (well he broke up with me for being too “needy and clingy” and he also cheated on me with a now former friend who I was friends with from childhood) who I literally had been dating with since I was 17 (gonna be 19 soon) and I honestly can’t remember ever crying so much in my entire life.

Like I’ve been sobbing this entire week lolllllll. I woke up and cried immediately today, took a nap this afternoon and woke up and cried immediately again, it’s actually kind of funny. Hope I don’t burst into tears at work today lol. I just feel empty and worthless lol. On the bright side, maybe I can have a proper emo phase now, feeling true angst and all. Gonna put on some fall out boy now

Awh im so sorry babe. It might not seem like it not seem  like it now, but going through your first heartbreak while you’re this young, is probably one of the best things that could happen in hindsight. You’ll get trough it better than ever

[yk-im-no-good]

omfg

ok tbh my (1) follower DONT READ THIS ACTUALLY ILL END MY LIFE AND PUT YOU ON MY SUICIDE NOTE. im being emo under the keep reading

tbfh ive locked myself in my room since like 5/6 pm idfk. but it's cause I DONT KNOW i was and still am in such a poo mood. liek first my mom promised me yesterday she'd take me to the laundromat today so i can wash my plushies MIND YOU I WAS GONNA PAY FOR ALL OF IT (which isnt sm cuz it's just a bunch of fucking QUARTERS so i wasnt gonna b paying a shartload). and pos NEVERMIND cause she's too tired which is! ok well im not mad she's tired cuz ever since my brother and his kids moved in everythings been 100x stressful for everyone especially her. but idk. maybe it's on me for not seeing this soonerbut she acted like she had no idea wht i was talking abt like...ok...and then she was like "later" BUT LATER NEVER CAME. and then my niece broke my pride fan and idk i didn't get mad at her but i was upset asf cuz THAT SHIT MEANS A LOT TO ME ? like idk i got it at my first pride festival w diana and even if it's just cheap plastic it still holds sentimental value to me. so after tht i just went into my room n listen to sad music which made me even MORE SAD . so i started crying. and den i was like ok well fuck it tumblr theme customizing time. so i did tht and liek. throughout the entire time ive been in my room my niece has been banging on my door, my nephews kept trying to get their dog to fight manchiis thru the crack under my door until i yelled @ them to stop. and den my niece kept banging at my door and i ignored it bc liek. SHE ALWAYS DOES THT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR EVERY LITTLE DAY. and most of the time ill go along w it cuz liek whatever dude. but i fr didn't wanna be bothered bc i was upset and didn't wanna lash out @ anyone . and then she stopped then liek. in the middle of tumblr customizing my brother knocked on my door and asked if i wanted to eat, i said no LOUDLY CUZ I KNOW IT"S HARD TO HEAR WITH MY MUSIC. and then he left me alone for five mins and then he knocked on my door again and was like vale i cant walk. but i didnt even process w he said cause i didn't even fucking hear him. so i was annoyed and walked out and i see him at the end of the hallway laughing and i go in the kitchen and everyones staring at me giggling. and he was like see she came ^___^ !! and my SIL was like omg she did hehehehe. and even my mom was there laughing. and i felt so fucking embarrassed idk like it felt like they were treating me like a kid. and my brother asked if i wanted to eat again and i was like NO . cause what the fuck is wrong with you like actually. dont fucking humiliate me like that bc if u fr cant walk im not gonna be there for u bitch !!!!! and then my niece started chasing me and trying to get into my room and i was just like . no. and then i started crying again but you know i kept at it for my tumblr theme idgaf. coding this custom cursor through the fucking tears idgaf !!!!!!!!!!! and then my mom called me out to the laundry space asking if i could help her move some stuff for a garage sale into her trunk. n i was liek ok. and then my brother comes and looks at me and asks my mom what she's doing. and then he pats my head and asks if i need help w something and i flinch away from him and say no. then he starts helping my mom with the stuff like picking up 3 of the big ass bags of stuff . and i go back in my room cuz i don't want to talk to him i dont even want to be fucking near him. and then i started crying in my room again. and tbh idk if it's bc im on my period or what. but liek im in such a bad fucking mood

[padawansuggest]

Very random, but I'm in a mood, but do you have any hc of din breastfeeding grogu?

Listen. I’mma need y’all to be less vague cause im not sure what I can do with ‘what ideas do you have about this character breastfeeding his kiddo’ and I really need more direction than that, and also headcanon means ‘it’s not canon but also canon doesn’t say it can’t happen so it did’ and I love that for this specifically because the idea of Din breastfeeding the bean as a headcanon????? And the fact that you really CANNOT say it didn’t happen because canon doesn’t say it didn’t???? Beautiful. Thank you. I love you.

Anyways tho. I’mma spill some tea and mention that someone very close to me is currently in the process of inducing lactation without being pregnant (with good success so far she’s months ahead of what we thought she’d be) and so I have some lactation ideas itself for them.

Din ends up talking with a guy in the pharmacy who convinced him induced lactation is super cheap if you’re willing to go through the pumping till you get the milk in (and yes, you need multiple months of pumping plus hormone treatments but those are easy and sometimes you don’t need the treatment at all) so that’s why he started with Grogu.

Grogu was really confused on why he needs to latch on at first???? Buir wants him to put his mouth on what???? Okay?????? Wait there’s a drinky drink in here???? Is this a new straw??? Okay.

Sometimes Din needs to take his glove off and wedge his tiniest finger into the corner of Grogu’s mouth to keep him from biting or chewing. Grogu catches on after a while. Not snack, got it.

Din ends up going on a high oat diet cause it boosts milk production (call that oat milk????? Ya) and a few other noms boost production too, so he’s actually eating better than he usually does himself. Once he stops needing to pump every two hours, and actually gains the weight he’s been suffering to gain for years, it’s over for you bitches.

One time he was in public and a baby cried and he. Well. His shirt wasn’t dry.

Luke def laughs at him sometimes but like all of Din’s friends, is very amused and keeps feeding him. Like. They all get that feeling you get when someone in your fam is pregnant and you can’t stop feeding them all ‘chubby baby, chubby baby, gotta make the chubbiest baby’ and tbh that’s also accurate, but Luke and Peli keep feeling him traditional Tatooine foods and his taste buds can’t take much more of this guys plz.

Fennec asked him if his tits were getting big and also if she can put him in a bra. Both Din and Boba looked offended at that. To be fair, Boba is the one she usually asks to put in lingerie, so, it’s no wonder he’s jealous. Din is offended tho. Because. They are big enough. To put in a bra.

I will once more repeat myself on this front: give Din a cradle that latches onto the side of his bed so Grogu can come and go as he pleases.

Grogu tubby belly.

Peli: I don’t know what gender you identify as and I don’t need to, but, have I been misgendering you? ‘No.’ Oh thank god. So we still on for boys poker night? ‘…do YOU identify as the gender I’ve been referring to you as?’ You called me a lesbian once and that’s as close as the universe needs to know, thanks. Poker night on Friday, Fennec is joining us. ‘I think you’re misunderstanding the title ‘boys poker night’.’ You’ll have to bring it up with my lawyer. Fennec is my lawyer. For now.

That time Din ended up in Luke’s school while Leia was visiting with the twins and the twins started crying and Din had to feed Grogu or ruin a shirt and Luke just stood there between two breastfeeding parents like ‘oh my god I’m gonna be one of these idiots one day’ because, again, he’s trans and Mara has been trying to put a bun in that oven since day one. He’s horrified. All this emotion. He can do the emo part but that’s it.

‘Mandalore From Covert Family Seen Breastfeeding Unknown Species In Naboo Park Last Friday’ is an unfortunate news headline Paz and the Armorer (Din’s buir deal with it) had to read one day to the annoyance of both of them. No one told them they were an uncle/ba-buir and they’re so mad. The rest of the covert is tryina stay outta their way while everyone tracks down their wayward idiot to see why he isn’t returning his buir’s calls.

The Armorer creates a makeshift chest plate that creates a shield around a baby sling to put Grogu under if they ever need to breastfeed in public again. It’s removable and can be put on over his regular chestplate too if he just needs it while running from enemy fire with the baby.

He got such good and plump tiddies.

Shit I think I’m creating a whole ass AU lmaoooooo

[lovelysugawara]

Im so hype, when i saw you're up for request. How about haikyuu boys accidentally dropped the call while y/n is still talking? Maybe they are fighting or something. I leave this to you. 😝

Haikyuu Boys; when they accidentally end your call while in between fight

N/A: Haikyuu boys, pressed the end button while you are still talking. (facepalm) i hope i got your request right luvs, enjoy. ^^

Pairings: Atsumu, Bokuto, Kenma, Akaashi, Kita, Tsukishima

~~

Atsumu

-he will probably dial your number back as soon as he realizes that he dropped it while you are still talking. -he’s calling your siblings or even your parents to find you, but he still can’t reach you.  -he’s so worried, knowing he can’t contact you and your phone is now cannot be reached. He thinks you turned off your phone. -he even called osamu to check if he can call you, but in the end, you are actually calling him back too. And your call won’t go through because he’s doing the same. XD -”Y/N, DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!! AM WORRIED HERE!” he’s already shouting at the other line, and you know you two will be alright.

~

Bokuto

-a loud “NOOOOOOOO,” can be heard from him when he accidentally dropped your call. -you are mad at him and you are still talking when he accidentally pressed the end button when Atsumu asked him something. -”tsum-tsum, i dropped her call. What should i do???!” he’s all panicky. Atsumu is also the same knowing you’re mad and madder this time. -because bokuto is already starting on his emo mode, sakusa intervenes and redial your number. -”Y/N I’M SO SORRY, I’M SO SORRY, I DIDN’T MEAN TO CUT YOU OFF iI LOVE YOU, DON’T LEAVE ME.-” he’s already saying i loveyou and you know it’s enough. -You already forgave him anyway, he’s such a baby. Sakusa texted you what happened after he accidentally dropped the call. Bokuto is so cute, all panicky. XD

~

Kenma

-he’s so shocked after he pressed the end button, and why the heck did he press it? -you two fought this morning and didn't reconcile. You at least wanted to check on him because he hasn't eaten lunch for sure. -but because he’s still on his live streams, he is in a hurry talking to you. And when you say okay he automatically pressed the end button without saying the usual iloveyou’s after every call whether you’re fighting or not. -he suddenly goes AFK in the middle of the game, and his fans are wondering why. -he redials your number, “I’m so sorry pudding, my hand slipped. I pressed it so fast, how can i make it up to you?” he said in a sincere voice. -the two of you talk like there’s no argument that morning. All it well.

~

Akaashi

-he’s running 3 floors down from their office at the moment, right after he presses the end button of your call. -you are still crying and still fighting with him when all of a sudden he thought you’re not gonna talk but when he heard you speak, it’s already too late and he dropped the call. -you are sitting in the building lobby, crying. You thought he’s already tired of you. -”y/n!!!” you saw akaashi running towards you. He’s now in front of you and panting, out of breath. -” I’m so sorry y/n. I thought you won’t talk to me, that’s why i decided to end the call and we can talk later. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.” he hates it when he’s the reason why you are crying. -you just hug him, and he did the same. You know everything is all well now.

~

Kita

-you know he doesn’t like arguing over the phone. He doesn’t talk back at you and he wanted for you to calm down before talking things with you. -you’re more shocked after hearing the beep sound. Did he actually drop your call? -You wanted to be mad at him but you know it won’t do anything well. You just let it be and do the usual thing until that afternoon. -kita arrived with a bouquet of flowers that you like. He saw you in your bed and he didn't think twice and approach you. -He then kisses your forehead, “i’m so sorry love, i didn’t mean to end our conversation. My reception is so bad. And I can't contact you again, I thought you'd call me but i guess my reception is so bad. I’m so sorry.” -you are so thankful that you’re not mad anymore and you didn’t throw fit at him. You two just cuddle for the rest of that afternoon. XD

~

Tsukishima

-you two are mad at each other, that’s not a new thing when a fight broke between the two of you. -tsukishima admits that somehow it’s his fault, but you're not backing down. He’s shouting because the rain is so loud outside. And you thought he’s mad at you. -you are still talking when someone accidentally hits tsukki’s hand making his phone slip onto his hold.and when he picks it up, it won’t open. Probably it’s damage inside. -he sighed and started running despite the rain. -you are standing awkwardly in front of his apartment door. And you thought he’s mad and he’s breaking up with you next. -you’re about to knock when suddenly someone grabs your shoulder. -there he is, all soak because of the rain. He’s holding out his phone in front of you, “My phone is broken, that’s why I can’t call you.” -you’re already in tears when you hug him. -”tsk, seriously. Will you stop thinking negative things? I won’t break up with you, idiot.” he hugs you too. (kyaaah~)

[nat-has-two-girlfriends]

Lmfao misty is getting into her musical theater arc

LOTTIE GIRLIE WGAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT 😭😭😭

go Shauna yass queen

LMFAK go misty

So true nat

Omg van

I love the theme tune tbh

Lmfao go misty (young)

Oh no Lottie is not having it

Wow

Misty and Lottie just talking about their gf like yeah we were going to kill him but someone else died instead

Ok it can’t save all of their lives if they have to kill people but anyway

Misty just lying to everyone 💀💀💀

Shauna on her way to do her Shauna-best

aww Travis nooo

The same place????

Oh it’s turning into a proper altar now

Girlie you can’t cry the tears will freeze on your face and you’ll get frostbite

That’s a really good model

Blind???

Coach hanging out in his tree be like 🧍

I wonder if coach is still out there

Oh the ritualness of it

Draw the symbol!!

Ooooh misty sneaking

They always got her sneaking around something

Mood

Who needs a lock pick when you have a rock and a nail (where did she get it from)

OMG HER PHONE

caligula my baby

Why is it still alive??

WALTER GET YHE GUCK AWAY

Making masks with your ex gf

Van I love you but let her be delusional

Shauna and nat homoerotically staring at eachother 🧍

YAY CALLIE AND JEFF ON THEIR WAY

Who’s that

BOOOOOO

NAT HI

Omg she went to see her kid <333

Fucking love lisa and also the actress playing her

Nicole Maine <333 watched her in supergirl

I can’t with all the purple 💀💀💀

ONG IM WEARING PURPLE RN?? wack

Nat no!!!!

Oh it’s Ben again

BEN LITERALLY LIKE 🧍

He’s like what the fuck

Mood

Omg nat

You’re not like other girls ✨🕺

Nat baby no!!!

It’s not your fault!!!

Is coach just going to stay in the wood place and never get rescued cause he’s out there 🧍

Go van!!

Wow the guilt tripping is top notch

WHAT IS THAT SPOTLIGHT WALTER STOP SINGJNG

is it Jeff???

BOOO ITS KEVYN GO AWAYYYY

shut up Walter

Wait no keep going annoy him into living

What’s he making???

Why 🧍

A coven??? Mood

Shut up Walter

Go Callie!!! We Stan!!

Mood

That’s how I talk to my father tbh

MY KEVYN X JEFF SHIP IS SAILING

My fave crack ship tbh

Shut up Jeff

AWWWW JEFF MY LOVE <3333

WOOOOOO

Go JEFF

WE STAN JEFF IN THIS HOUSE

THE BEST FAILHUSBAND

oh shit kevyn is dead

FUCKING KNEW IT

it’s the fenobarbytol again slay

Awww go Walter

WALTER X JEFF???

NO IT FROZE

Real

JEFFREY???

LMFAO

woah gay panic????

Walter is so creepy he’s a funky little guy

He’s like American psycho

THAT WHEEZE 💀💀💀💀

FIYAH 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Actually there’s no fire

What’s he doing

That is not all that came out of javi 💀💀

WAIT IS BEN BACK IN THE HOLE???

But there’s nothing to eat???

Damn travis is not having a good day

I have to go away in 20 minutes and I’m not going to finish the episode 😭😭😭

Have to wait two hours after that

Awww the carved him a little figurine

Is that a wolf??

WOLFPACK! FORM A! WOLFBRIDGE!

Are they just going to have a bunch of wolf things on the mantle

Atleast they kind of honored travis??

IS IT NOT COOKED???

Aww my guy is so sad

WHY WOULD YOU BITE IT WITHOUT COOKING IT

DUDE

Yay misty!!

So true Misty #1 motivational speaker 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥

Who’s that

Oh it’s Lottie again

The voices

Oooh this music is so cool

Someone needs to make a playlist of all the Yellowjackets this song is fire 🔥🔥🔥

The symbolism

What is she wearing??

Oh she’s investigating

She knows

Is she happy???

Go Tai

I’ll have 13 minutes left it’s gonna be torture

NAT NO DONT CRY WHATS GOING ON

please don’t tell me she’s going to sacrifice herself cause she felt like she needed to be sacrificed and never got to be

Fireplace!!! Slay!!!

Oh the masks

Snazzy

Awwww my girlies

Misty is a leader!!! Again!!!

NAT GOING INTO PROTECTIVE GF MODE AGAIN

“Who’s we?” 🧍

LOTTIE NO

Did she make herself more emo???

Go Callie!!!

Get the fuck away pornstache

Kill him!!! Like mother like daughter!!!

Mood

WHY IS IT SO DARK I CANT SEE ANYTHING

crime boyfriends!!

Oh Lottie got the queen

Lmfao

What’s she going to do

Oh no she doesn’t she’s just shuffling

MOOD

Misty’s little head shake I love her so much

Shauna can not shuffle cards what was that 💀💀💀

VAN WHY ARE YOU STARING

Van shut up

Misty looking at everyone with her big eyes I love her

DID SHAUNA TAKE OUT THE QUEEN

There’s definitely more cards than 6 in there what are they going to do 💀💀💀

LOTTIE IS FULL ON EMO

Lottie shut up

💀💀💀💀

Lottie is not okay

I’m going to end up researching all of these cards after 💀💀💀

Ace of spades??? For misty??? Mood

I’m going to get really back into tarot after this arent I 💀💀💀

Slay nat

Do they just keeping going around???

Bro.

Lottie is not okay

Ooooh flashbacks

So slay

WHO

It’s Shauna

SHAUNA BO

Shauna

Shauna

Shauna

Shauna

Shauna

NO MY BABY

SHAUAN

SHAUNA

No don’t go away!!! Ong I knew it was Shauna at the mask scene 😭😭😭

TAI PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN

💀💀💀😭😭😭😭

RUN

SHAUNA GET OUT OF TUERE

Lmfao

Time out 💀💀💀💀💀

Mood

Bros not okay

????

LMFAO

SHAUNA RUN

Lmfao

ALL OF THEM RUNNING AFTEE HER 💀💀💀💀

KILL PORNSTACHE

KILL HIM

Walter????

Walter helping misty slay

Whoop whoop it’s the sound of the police

Jeff???

WHY IS IT SO DARK I CANT HEAR ANYTHING

Are they screeching???

GO CQLLIE

Go Callie!!!

Lottie really is an owl

Awww Lottie

Did Callie actually shoot her???

OMG SLAY

Lottie what 💀💀💀💀

TAI WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Van youre in too deep

What?????

Also what do you mean that’s she’s powerful 💀🧍

Young Lottie is not okay

ONG ITS THE EXTRA

she looks like someone I know 💀💀💀

Oooh van slay

Shut up van

Also slay van

Where is coach???

Uh oh

The prophet doesn’t have any visions anymore???

Misty????

Who’s going to be the leader???

Who????

Nat???

KNEW IT

omg 😭😭😭

Bro’s blathering

LISA

Lisa my baby I love you

Shit I have 13 minutes left and I have to go now 🫡

Not making another post I’ll just come back to this one

Okay I’m back and no one knew hehehe

Time to be emotionally devastated

ITS SO DARK I CANT FUCKING SEE ANYTHING

my babies no!!!

the trauma and the explaining away that it wasn’t them but something darker but excuses!!

Is nat the antler queen now???

Is coach Ben there???

Nat is shooketh

Who’s that

Oh it’s one of the extras

Did she bow????

MARI SLAY

this song is so slay

A curtesy??? Lmao

MISTY IS SO SILLY I LOVE HER

that’s gay as fuck

She’s the only one that made nat laugh <3333

Go van

Go tai

Go shauna

Uh oh Travis

Oh he’s okay

Slay ig

Shauna!!! Hug her!!

She needs a hug!!!

Someone give her a damn hug

Oh she’s smiling

LISA NO

Lisa!!!!

Misty??????

Misty whats in your hand

OMG MISTY US GOINF TO KILL LISA

WAIT SHE STABBED NAT

No what the fuck

NAT WHAT THE FUCK

Oh she’s in purgatory

NAT NO

Nat????

NO SHE HAS TO LIVE

She’s going to live

THERES POLICE COMINF THO

She’s going to live!!!

MISTY NO!!!!!

LOTTIE??? MISTY

Misty

Misfagsvdgfbf

She hdgwgahsdhdgf

I’m going to fucking cry

What the fuck

What the fuck

What the fuck

What the absolute tuck

No

Misty

Misty baby I’m so sorry

Misty

Misty

No

Shsgsgsgdgfgfhff

Oh my god

NAT DONT

YEAH SHES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE

Cause she’ll live!!!

YOUNG NAT SHUT UP WITH THE SURVIVOR GUILT

Ahagsvsgdgdhfhdhaaggsdgdgdhfhf

NO!!!!!

MISTY!!!

NAT!!!

PLEASE!!!

NAT!!!!

NAT!!!!!

MY BABY

Don’t listen to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAT MISTY IM SO SOREY

Genuinely sobbing now

SHE IS NOT FUCKING DISEASED

That’s a shitty end

What the fuck

No

No

Misty!!!!

Misty!!!!

What the fuck

Drug overdose???

So it was a syringe???

Why wouldn’t it have been a knife???

She would have had a chance!!

MISTY!!!!?

she’s in shock

Booooooo

Walter get the fuck away

NO!!! THEY WONT BE SAFE!!!

SHE WAS YOUR WIFE NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND

Misty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Misty!!!! No!!!!!

she saved lives and she also took them away

No it won’t fucking be okay Jeff

Okay predictions is that all of the yellow jackets are going to end up dying at the ends of the seasons

And they’ll be reunited in death or something

Oh she’s going to a mental asylum

No!!! It did not want that!!! No it’s not pleased!!! Shut the fuck up!!

Nat!!!!!

Callie’s not okay

Is she smiling??? No

Mistyyyy

Nat!!!!

Who’s writing???

Oh it’s going to be so heartbreaking watching young nat knowing she dies

Oh it’s Shauna

What happened???

Forest fire??? Idk it’s so dark

Is someone going to die again???

It that a dream??? It has to be its the middle of winter

Go for the windows???

Did someone leave the fire on???

Van????

Oh god where are they going to stay

They have to make another house

They won’t survive otherwise

They’ll have to pile everything

I think there’s a couple people missing???

How did that happen?????

What???

Did someone just leave the fire on or something

Okay I say this from the bottom of my heart. What the fuck.

okay im watching the finale now I’m just going to live chat it

[m1ckeyb3rry]

DHSHSH stop when you said emo the first thought in my head was that one emoji that was modified to have the emo bangs and then our local emo Rin but nooo I’m sure they all know you’re cooking! Fine wine takes time to age (i cringed a little saying this kinda cheesy but ykwim)

TRUE that’s why your plots and stories always slap…but yeah hmm the blue lock loophole is kinda hard….and yeah like we’ve mentioned before the only thing that comes to mind are the typical tropes of girl sneaks into bllk as a boy or becomes manager of bllk….i mean even the official game uses that premise of having the player become a newly hired analyst/manager for the players….but yeah hmmm im sure you’ll cook with something LOL

LMAOOO lovable witty assholes >>>> I like zantetsu a fair amount and he’s funny but yeah himbos aren’t exactly my type either oops

Yeah I cannot get over the uncle vibes either and it’s just reinforced by the stubble…ok but STOP THE AIKU BAROU IDEA IS TOO GOOD im crying the aikulations have me dying but he literally WOULD do that like “good ol barou-chan needs to blow off some steam…let’s get him a girl”

HAHA TY and yesss we’re basically the same person atp I’m sure any edit that’s been screened by you will be fire

I’m also kinda surprised I’ve seen a relative rise in Hiori fans as of late? Not just here but on different platforms like tiktok too…I guess I can’t be talking that much because it kinda includes me LMAOO I’ve always liked him and his blue coloring (I’m ngl a big part of it was just “oh I like that blue”) I will admit I think white butterfly did a good deal of conversion work on me too LOL him building the exact building hit me hard I had to go back and read and think like “wait…isn’t this the exact house description from earlier…” another genius take >>> but yeah LMAO his relatively recent switch up on his attitude on soccer brought in some fans too I think

LMAOOO SAE TACKLING HER TO PARALLEL HOW THEY FIRST MET SO REAL the idea has me laughing already…but literally if only more people had your brain cells like where is this characterization of him….the normal fanon him just seems so off to me ugh but we’ve had this convo before so I’ll spare you the rant again LOL but wait also i forgot that white butterfly and fwtkac were written back to back that was some really fast work too?? Considering fwtkac was pretty hefty too damn

LMAOO rin thinking that he’d be creepy reaching out asking for her address be instead deciding to actually go stalk her is such a rin way of thinking it’s hilarious

PERSONAL PROJECT OOOOOOOOO is this a secret project or is dropping hints allowed…will look forward to reading it either way though LOL

Maybe it was your subconscious rizz and the dude was gonna hit you up if you were a soccer fan and use that as a common interest /hj the way he just walks off after has me cackling though I feel like that’s such a stereotypical sports fan interaction HSGDJSHS I saw someone walking with a Manchester jacket once and was like omg manshine city LMAOO

ALSO CONGRATS ON 900 FOLLOWERS!!! 1k is gonna hit you real soon I can feel it…rightfully so after feeding the bllk community o7

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO in my rin era but not in terms of liking him just literally being him 😔✊🏻 /j no because sometimes it’s just that i can’t make myself write for a particular character at a given moment in time?? like rn you couldn’t PAY me to write for karasu (jk you def could pay me and i’d do it) even though i love him because i just am not motivated for him meanwhile i could probably spit out smth for like uhhh reo in a jiffy 😭 it’s so arbitrary which characters i want to write for at any given moment hence why i do some requests within a couple of days and others have been waiting for a while (plus like personal projects aka bfb get in the way too hence why i’m swearing off of them until i’m done the reqs currently in my inbox…only 9 to go 😰) so it’s not even a question of me taking my time w writing (reqs usually take 1-3 days for me to do) i’m just being #lazy about it…so nagi of me i fear 💔 BUT I AM GETTING BETTER I PROMISE I WILL FINISH THESE NINE SUPER SOON

i just love having my characters actually be active in the plot w goals and development ykwim and lowkey being a manager doesn’t rlly feel conducive to that because what genuine conflict is a manager facing FKSJSJKS especially compared to pomegranate ink y/n struggling w her family, her cursed technique, sukuna, AND her relationship w yuta 😭 but i’m sure the perfect au is out there that’s somewhat similar to bllk but has space for. yk. women

no because like zantstsu w his hair down and no glasses is soooo fine i 100% would go crazy for him if he was a little smarter but he is definitely a sweetheart to the max based on his egoist bible profile 🥹 so yeah i def respect zantetsu lovers but it’s not for me!! i’ll take his two besties tyvm 🫨

that is aiku’s FIRST thought too he’s not like “wow barou seems stressed maybe i should talk to him and make sure he’s doing alright” nope it’s straight to “yikes barou needs to feel the touch of a woman DESPERATELY or else he’s going to kill all of us and then himself” meanwhile niko is like 15 so he’s just going along w whatever because he doesn’t know better, lorenzo is in it for the vibes, aryu thinks reader x barou is so glam it becomes his otp, and tbh idgaf abt sendou but like he’s there too ig 😭 and the thing is it WORKS like one date w reader and barou is rejuvenated…literally a new man altogether

yes i’ve def seen a lot of hiori fans as of late!! although unfortunately my hobby of commenting horrendous takes on bllk dude bros’ videos means i mostly see them hating/comparing him to sae and charles 😭💔 but OMG no because i think the house thing actually makes me cry lowkey…the way he doesn’t know if she’ll ever come back to their hometown or if she’s single or if she even REMEMBERS him but he builds the house she used to dream of and waits there for her just in case she ever does return so no matter what she can at least see that he loved her the entire time too 😔 like hiori my pining green flag romantic goat ⁉️ NO miraverse love interest is doing it like him tbh (except peregrine nagi…he actually has white butterfly hiori beat i think it’s sickening how much that man loves reader we just haven’t gotten to the part of the story where that’s shown yet 😓)

hehe it’s so funny because i literally was working on white butterfly at night and it turned midnight to my birthday while i was writing it so i literally began my birthday writing a hiori fic 😭 so real of me though 😩 and yeah that’s what i mean when i’m actually motivated i’m SOO fast at writing (in 2021 i wrote a 173k word fic in abt a month) so there’s rlly no excuse for me to not have more of my reqs done 😵‍💫 anyways…seabird sae my king wish we had more content of him like that!! it probably won’t be from me though because sae isn’t super high on my priority list (he’s solid mid tier i’d say…in terms of personality though i will say he’s the superior itoshi bro even if rin is kinda better looking due to sae’s fuck ass haircut)

HEHE no it’s just the aiku wingman series not a secret at all!! so far i have ideas for the barou and otoya ones…i’m thinking i’ll definitely also do karasu and yukimiya, maybe do nagi and (gulp) possibly do sae HAHAHA the way that directly counteracts what i just said one paragraph ago 😓 but i think those characters make the most sense in terms of proximity/interactions/dynamics w aiku (except nagi actually i just want to write him because i love him)

LMAOOO no you’re def right i think he used soccer/the jersey as a way to talk to me without being too creepy but when i was obviously uninterested he had to dip rq 😔 classic mira x male chemical reaction…however if he’s not a blue locker i’m not interested 🥱🫣 it’s my goal in life to marry a famous soccer player i actually think that would be hilarious like imagine you just see me on tv in the stands being supportive (pretend yk my irl name and what i look like and whatnot) and you just have the knowledge that i wouldn’t even have met my husband or been interested in him if i didn’t watch a random soccer anime and become obsessed with a character that takes five second showers 😭

AHH THANK YOU i’m hoping to cook up smth fun for a 1k event that’s not just “ok requests are open knock yourselves out” like maybe i’ll do a theme to it?? idk we will see when we get there hehe but yeah lowkey it’s unbelievable that i have that many followers on here considering how little i post the content most of them must’ve actually followed me for (aka writing)