#im gonna cry once i see my AA

[gunsatthaphan]

Hiiii !! How are you ?? ~ Sooo I recently watched The Eclipse and AHHH I fell so IN LOVE with it !! Why, JUST WHY did I put it off for so long ?!! I saw some people saying that the writing had a few issues so I was reluctant to watch it but I completed Moonlight Chicken a while ago and FirstKhaotung's chemistry in the two last episodes really caught me off-guard so I decided to give The Eclipse a chance and now I am incredibly in love with AkkAyan ?!! They've become one of my most favourite BL couples !! I am a HUGE sucker for couples that save each other from darkness and become each other's light !! FirstKhaotung's acting and chemistry outweighed the flawed writing for me and I can't wait for their Our Skyy episodes !! But I am so sad that I wasn't part of the fandom while it was airing, there are SO many scenes that had me squealing and that I would have liked to enjoy with everyone watching for the first time . . . WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SO LATE ?!! Thankfully their Our Skyy episodes air next week and I will get to join in on the fun !! And I know Our Skyy is meant to be more of a special (crack) episode than a conclusion but I honestly don't mind if I get to see AkkAyan again !! Sorry if this was long, I just needed to get my feelings out !! TAKE CARE !! <3

hiii anon!!

I'm currently sick again ugh rip.

but anyway!!!!! I'm glad to see you got sucked into the FK madness djkhdfk I mean how can you not lmao. also the fact that MLC was the show that intrigued you even though they barely have screentime really speaks for itself lmao. I love that.

the writing did have its flaws for sure and if it were a different cast I probably wouldn't have felt the same way but they just outshone everything and everyone lol. and don't feel bad for joining at a later time, there's still plenty of stuff to scream about and there always will be djgkhf

I really hope the our skyy eps will be good, it was off to a very good start with NLMG but then SIMM has been a bit weird djhgkj but yeah. we shall see :)

xxx

[richardsphere]

Rwby Catchup V7E10

Writing this after the fact, so non-chronological order: Weiss mom has a drinking problem, in the same episode that reminds us Qrow is trying to kick the same habit. To indicate exactly how terrible a parent Jaques is, she cries happy tears from hearing her daughter isnt coming back home. Whitley hates his sisters for abandoning him to his father. (great scene, great characterisation. Love it entirely). I dont ship it (yet) or anything, but i do hope they’ll join the same AA group at some point. Imagine the thrill of getting to arrest your own dad. Arthur is still sort of generic, but he’s earned a trait besides Smarm and Science: He’s a half-decent salesperson. Also a bit of a showman with a sense of drama. Innocents are about to freeze, and i’ll admit that i like seeing a businessman turned corrupt politician actually face accountability but i dont know if thats the writing or my frustration with the having access to the internet during the Trump Administration. I hope this’ll be the end of his character, he seems like exactly the type of villain whose presence is better felt in absence. (as in the scar on Weiss’ face is enough presence on its own, we dont actually need his presence that much. I might be wording it badly. Basically im worried they’re gonna stage a breakout scene for him and he’ll overstay his unwelcome as a character.) Neopolitan is back, and she still leaves me feeling as cold about her presence in the narrative as the icecream she is named after, but that’s largely because its hard to characterise a character who does not speak. (but then, her being a one-note character is actually a strength. The same as Wile-E-Coyote being one-note is a good thing).  This brings me to a little segment that I call “Richard struggles to figure out what the deal with Emerald & Neo even is”. Today on RSTFOWTDE&NES: I’ll openly but shamefully admit it took me verry long to realise that neo’s semblance was some kind of pseudo-illusion thing? Though at least some have seemed semi-tangible. In my defense her earliest appearances mostly had her use it to vanish into thin air so i thought she was just a teleporter like Ruby. Then when i finally figured out Neo had illusions, i sort of got confused and thought a lot of Emeralds things in the tournament where actually Neo doing that. I guess what im trying to say is its kind of weird for the villains to have 2 different illusion-based characters, and for one of them to have an “only one target at a time” limitation. like thats sort of weird isnt it? I might be misremembering, but did Maid!Neo talk to Weiss? Or was that a different maid who has been stuffed into a closet off-screen so Neo could take her place afterwards? Its sort of unclear to me. Cinder is also here, God i hope she gets a character besides “generic hunger for power” at some point but if there is i havent seen it yet. But its nice to know that Ozpin isnt the only one whose lieutenants can betray them at least, not much to say she’s still spending most of the plot looking ominously. Whitley crying on the stairs, This family needs more hugs and less alcohol. Robyn, you’re nice. I dont know what more to say. You’re the only character in Atlas i would trust to run a popsiclestand, Not a lot of deep going on with her, but Robin Hood parodies live and thrive by virtue of their simplicity. They finally tell James that Salem cant be killed and that they lied about the relic’s number of questions, i’ll admit i only ever understood one of those two lies. (They could’ve just claimed “ozpin told us she cant be killed/do you really believe that if she could be killed Ozpin wouldnt have succeeded a thousand lifetimes ago). Does this mean the tower is cancelled? Is operation “100 Shions at once” finally cancelled? NO because Oscar said to stop keeping Salem a secret, so that plan is still a go apparently.  The Penny and Winter Dont Understand Eachother scene was great, and i adored the moment Winter thought “oh shit, did i just pull a robo-racism?”. Verry “Pyrrha accidentally implies Jaune should jump off the roof” energy there.

[kitazura]

Um hi I just found your blog ur a really could writer um could I request like a cuddle movie night with Atsumu,Sakusa and Bokuto (and if u have a anon list could I be 🦊 anon)

watch a movie with miya atsumu, sakusa kiyoomi, & bokuto kōtarō 0.2k words each

note: hi 🦊 anon!! you can absolutely have some cuddly movie night scenarios with the boys <3 aa im sorry it took so long for me to post i had to rewrite this like 4 times bc i didn’t like how my drafts turned out LMAO but i hope u enjoy!

— ATSUMU

His fingers have been fiddling with your hair for the past two hours, and you’re sure the section he’s been toying with has turned into a bird’s nest. Not that you have any right to complain, anyway; your head’s on his chest, and your hand grasps the fabric of his shirt, the strength of your grip changing according to the intensity of the events playing out onscreen.

The movie’s finally arrived at the big, climactic fight scene. You grab onto Atsumu’s shirt like your life depends on it, holding your breath in suspense. He thinks it’s cute, the way your eyes are wide and twinkly from the glow of the tv. He’s almost content to leave you in peace, but he can never pass up the chance to tease.

“Y’know, by the time this is over, I don’t think any amount of ironing is gonna get these wrinkles out, what with all your grabbing.” His smirk blooms into a chuckle as you tear your eyes away from the screen to glare at him, albeit insincerely.

“As if you iron your clothes in the first place,” you shoot back. Well, you got him there.

Defeated, he lets you return to your attention to the movie, pressing an apologetic kiss to the crown of your head when you grumble about having to rewind it to see what he made you miss.

— SAKUSA

You have to stifle your giggle when you steal a glance at your boyfriend. Sakusa’s brows are knit in concentration, eyes glued to the screen. He notices your amusement nonetheless, giving you a questioning look.

“What is it? Did I miss a joke?”

You shake your head. Truthfully, you’re not paying much attention to the movie, finding more entertainment in the expressions Sakusa makes as he watches, so the answer you give him is pretty baseless.

You cozy up further into his side, mumbling, “You’re warm.”

He turns even warmer, his face flushing at your absentminded comment. The arm he has wrapped around your shoulders gives you a gentle squeeze, pulling you impossibly closer to him. You put your head on his shoulder, and he rests his head on yours. You hear him let out a breath and take it for a sigh of content. (He’s really just resisting the urge to sneeze; your hair is tickling his nose, but he doesn’t want to ruin the moment.)

Half an hour passes; Kiyoomi’s gotten so caught up in the movie that he doesn’t notice you’ve fallen asleep until your head nearly lolls off his shoulder. He’s quick to catch you, and makes a mental note to move as little as possible.

Pulling the blankets up to your chin, he begins to think about how to summarize the movie once you wake up.

— BOKUTO

“Oh, oh! it’s almost time for his confession.” Bokuto’s voice is oddly hushed, not wanting to break the quiet. “I never get tired of it.”

“Yeah, you also don’t get tired of crying every time it comes on” you reply playfully. Unlike him, you speak at a normal volume.

You reach over to the popcorn bucket in his lap, which he instinctively tilts towards you. “By the way,” you say through a mouthful of popcorn, “why are you whispering? We’re at home.”

“For the ambience, duh.” Bokuto rolls his eyes at you as if it’s the most obvious thing. You can’t help but laugh and cup his face in your hands, pulling him in for a kiss. He obliges, pecking your lips, your cheeks, and one more on your nose before settling back down.

There’s a beat of silence before he asks, “I used the word ‘ambience’ correctly, right?”

You pinch his cheek endearingly. “Yeah, you did.”

He beams with pride before shushing you, buzzing with anticipation as the confession scene begins.

You must have watched this movie a million times by now, and have replayed the confession thrice as much. Unsurprisingly, Bokuto’s got it memorized; you can hear him saying the words with the actor onscreen, matching the emotions in his tone.

You turn to tease him, only to find that he’s looking at you intently, eyes shining with sincerity as he quotes the last few words:

“So I can say to you now, with absolute certainty, that I am irrevocably in love with you.”

— postscript

i am a sap. a Sap!!!! honestly i pulled bokuto’s quote from one of my scrapped fics lolol the venn diagram of the characteristics of 12 year old me and 17 year old me is a circle. but anyway !! mayhaps ill get some fics out soon hehe

[spahhzy]

Serenade.

54 follower special!

.

.

Ruby: So...Nora what are we watching....

Nora: oh some videos I ripped from Jaunes scroll.

Weiss: You went into Jaunes scroll and took his personal videos? Who knows what could be on those things!

Nora: relax ice queen! Nothing sexual...Pyrrha. Yang or Ruby would have gotten that already.

Ruby/pyrrha: >=<

Yang: Guilty.

Nora: No these were categorized as 'Songs/Covers'

Yang: like song/covers?

Nora shrugged: I guess we'll see!

Blake just said nothing still reading her book.

Ren: Nora if Jaune comes in and see us watching...you will have killed us all.

Nora: Jaune-Jaune is to pure a soul now shoosh my sloth, let us watch our fearless leader...sing!

Nora presses play.

*Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen <Alex Terrible Cover>*

The screen came to life and their on it was everyone's resident Knight of Beacon Jaune Arc. He looked timid and shy in front of the camera.

Jaune: Uh umm hi! My name is Jaune Arc, short sweet, rolls of the tongue, ladies love it!

This earned groan from Weiss and a giggle from everyone else.

Jaune: So um I'm going to cover a song today and uh yeah I hope you all enjoy it!

he pressed play on his computer as the tune began to play

Jaune Arc closed his eyes and breathed in and out as the song started to play. He started mimicking a piano for a few seconds before looking at the camera.

Jaune: Mamaa...

The sound was low almost...like he was growling.

Jaune: Just killed a man..

This time Jaune ran a thumb over his throat while still sounding like he was growling until...

Jaune: PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD, PULLED MY TRIGGER NOW HE'S DEAD!

Jaune mimicked a gun being put to the side of his head as everyone looked on in shock Blake had even dropped her book in surprise!...why did Jaune sound like...a demon!

If they were paying the briefest of attention they could have seen Jaunes eyes flash red back to blue.

Jaune: Mamaa...

He growled softly once again looking directly at the camera...

Jaune: LIFE HAD JUST BEGUN!

He pointed at the camera while smirking.

Jaune: But now I've gone and thrown it all awaaay!

He took one big gasp of air and then....

Jaune: Mamaa, oooh!

Everyone flinched not used to hearing Jaunes usually sweet kind voice sound so...evil?

Jaune: Didn't mean to make you cry...IF IM NOT BACK AGAIN THIS TIME TOMORROW!

Him screaming like that...no one was sure what to think...

Jaune: Carry on, Carry on as if nothing really matters.

His voice had somewhat returned to normal as he put his head down for a second but not before snapping his head back up still staring at the camera.

Yang: I'm not gonna lie...this is kinda hot.

Weiss/Blake/Ruby/Pyrrha all stare at her.

Yang: what? It's like a little cuddly demon serenading you.

She had a point. Not that anyone would say anything.

Jaune: TOO LATE, MY TIME HAS COME!

Jaune: SEND SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE, BODIES ACHING ALL THE TIME!

The way he said that really got shivers sent down everyone's spine.

Jaune: Goodbye...everybody...I've got to go.

That time it was just Jaune singing normally...no low demonic sound just normal human Jaune.

Jaune: GOTTA LEAVE YOU ALL BEHIND AND FACE THE TRUTH!

Jaune: MAMA, OOH!

Jaune looked like he was having a blast singing like that.

Jaune: I don't want to die.

That part he sang normally and softly.

Jaune: SOMETIMES I WISH IVE NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL!

He all bit screamed once more before he grabbed a water and chugged it as the song stopped playing.

Jaune: woosh, been awhile doing gutturals again, that was fun to do!

He spoke to the camera before suddenly a knock was heard.

Jaune: whoops training time gotta go! Hope ya'll enjoyed!

The camera went to black.

Everyone just sat there...

Yang: I still retain my statement...that was hot.

Nora: who knew fearless leader could sound so...

Weiss: Evil? Vile? Satanic?

Nora: Gonna say cool but go off.

Blake whomst managed to get her book from ground: Genuinely surprised at Jaunes...vocal range.

Pyrrha/Ruby: *still silent*

Yang: You two girls okay?

Both Pyrrha and Ruby just blushed.

In which I make Jaune into a deathcore vocalist.

[sexhaver]

What if you ship of theseus the brain to be digital? I.e. switch out parts lobe by lobe or smaller. Do you think you would retain your consciousness in that scenario?

interestingly enough there's actually a real cognitive psychologist dude, John Searle, who has answered this exact question. unfortunately i hate him because he believes in the concept of a "soul" being an intangible quality necessary for sentience and only present in biological beings (making sentient AI categorically impossible in his view). im just gonna paste the Wikipedia bit on it:

In this [thought experiment], we are asked to imagine that engineers have invented a tiny computer that simulates the action of an individual neuron. What would happen if we replaced one neuron at a time? Replacing one would clearly do nothing to change conscious awareness. Replacing all of them would create a digital computer that simulates a brain. If Searle is right, then conscious awareness must disappear during the procedure (either gradually or all at once). Searle's critics argue that there would be no point during the procedure when he can claim that conscious awareness ends and mindless simulation begins.[83][aa] Searle predicts that, while going through the brain prosthesis, "you find, to your total amazement, that you are indeed losing control of your external behavior. You find, for example, that when doctors test your vision, you hear them say 'We are holding up a red object in front of you; please tell us what you see.' You want to cry out 'I can't see anything. I'm going totally blind.' But you hear your voice saying in a way that is completely outside of your control, 'I see a red object in front of me.' [...] [Y]our conscious experience slowly shrinks to nothing, while your externally observable behavior remains the same."

imo this is kind of a copout. if you accept that consciousness is continuous (i.e. you are the same consciousness you were 7 years ago, despite all your individual neurons having been ship-of-theseus'd out one by one), then it logically follows that doing essentially the same cell-renewal thing artificially wouldn't result in a magical loss of agency and eventual "death". even if the artificial neuron analogues aren't a perfect replica and result in mild or even radical psychological changes, your perspective would still stay the same. if the technology to artificially ship of theseus your neurons out for shiny chrome replacements was around i would probably go for that as my method of immortality but at present it seems more likely that we'll figure out head transplants and cybernetics before bespoke artificial neurons and bleeding edge neurosurgery

[1mfa0]

Oh fuck

Fandom : IT

Characters (as of right now) : Riche, Eddie and Bev

Word count : 2068

Warnings (as of right now)  : Excessive swearing, kissing, implied sex, and alcohol

Summary : Don't wanna spoil nothin but it's the summer before senior year and Richie and Eddie get drunk at a party. Shit happens, and then life gets a lil wacky

Disclaimer : I have never really written anything before but I had a lot of fun with this so I hope you like it!

---

Richie has been Eddie's best friend for as long as he could remember. They did everything together and they still do. Practically inseparable.. that was until the incident the summer before their senior year of high school. 

It was a crisp summer afternoon in Derry maine, Eddie and Richie were getting ready at Richie's house for Bevs “end of summer” party later that night. It was supposed to be more of an inner circle gathering but Richie and Bev wanted summer to go out with a bang so they had a little surprise bruing for the losers. 

“Hey eds!” richie yelled to eddie from the bathroom walking out in just a towel holding up two almost identical hawinin shirts.

“Which one looks better?”

Eddie looked up at him only to immediately look away, his face turned beet red, richie had really grown into his looks over the years.

“Uh-um the blue one.” he replied 

“Cool cool” riche went back into the bathroom to continue getting dressed. When he came out he was wearing blue jeans perfectly cuffed with a white tee and the shirt Eddie had picked out.

“Now it's your turn spaghetti,”

“I think i'm fine with what have on right now thank you very much, and don't call me that”

“Awe common eds, you gotta loosen up a little bit, let go summer is almost over we have to make the most of it”

“And that requires me changing my clothes, I think you just wanna see me undress trashmouth” he shot Richie wink and a smile.

“AA you caught me!” Richie yelled as he jumped on his bed right next to where Eddie was sitting and pinned him down pretending like he was going to kiss him.

Eddie could feel his face getting hot again, hating himself for how that statement backfired on him like that.

“Ah-uh fuck you richie get off of me!”

“Only if you agree to dress up spaghetti” he said while leaning in closer as if he was threatening to kiss him if he didn’t.

“FINE whatever just get the fuck off of me” he said pushing richie away even thought he knows he wouldnt have been able to push riche off of him if he didnt let him.

Richie handen Eddie a pair of his older jeans that are too small for him now, a button down shirt and sent him away to the bathroom to get dressed. After a couple minutes Eddie walked out. He looked pretty cute, Richie thought. Like richie, eddie had also grown into his looks (he just don't have the growth spurt richie had)

“Ok can we go now please?”

“Yes we can, and i'm driving! My dad said I could take his car!”

“There is know fucking way I am getting into a car with you behind the wheel richie, you drive crazy remember what happened the other week! And anyways I'm the designated driver remember?”

“Awe common eddie Im not even drunk yet, please let me drive you,” he said with puppy eyes.

“agh fine.” Eddie didn’t feel like fighting richie on this, he just wanted to get going so he could go home and sleep. He had been really stressed lately and didnt feel like going and seeing everyone. The only person that knows is richie but he had the idea that getting out of the house is just what he needs.

---

It's around 8:00pm and they finally arrive at Bev's house.

“I thought this was gonna be inner circle only,” eddie whined to Richie as they maneuvered through the crowded doorway, making their way to Bev

“I don't know what happened eds, I guess somehow everyone at school heard about the party somehow” Bev winked at richie.

“Of course you're involved,” eddie rolled his eyes at him,

As the night dragged on everyone seemed to be having a jolly old time except for Eddie who was sitting at the counter drinking a cherry cola. RIchie seemed to be having a blast, drinking too much and dancing with girls. In this moment Eddie is not sure what comes over him be he says fuck it and throws caution too the wind. After he's had a couple of beers in him, and he runs into Richie, after avoiding him the whole time, who is equally and if not more wasted then eddie.

“EDUARDO! Finally decided to join the fun didn’t you?!”

“Richie I wanna go home.”

It's around 10:30 and Richie typically likes to stay as late as they can but when he saw that look in Eddie's eyes.

“Ok Eds whatever you say, go get our coats and I’ll tell Bev we are leaving” 

Riche gives Bev a quick peck on the cheek and says goodnight for the both of them. Stumbling through the hallway threw all the people Richie couldn't help thinking that he really shouldn't be driving, but neither should eddie. It will be fine. It's late the roads are almost empty here during the day anyways.

By the time Richie got out to the car Eddie was already sitting quietly in the passenger's seat. Richie slipped in putting on his seatbelt and turning on the radio, but not too loud.

“Here's your jacket, I couldn't find mine..” Eddie said, holding up richies leather jacket he wears with almost every outfit, he loved that thing so much.

“Yeah know what Eds you can wear it if you want, im fine and I know you get cold easily and i-”

Richie stopped when he noticed Eddie had already started putting his jacket on. He looked absolutely adorable in it, and the arms were way too long on him.

The drive home was quiet. Not in an awkward way, but in a, we can appreciate each other and the silence simultaneously. By the time they arrived at Eddie's house he was completely turned away from Richie, he slowly parked across the street so hopefully Eddie's mom wouldn’t see them arriving.

“Hey Eds we are here,” He said as they both started getting out of the car.

Riche always did that, he never just dropped him off he always walked him right up to the door.

“Alright goodnight spaghetti, I hope you feel better,” as he started back to his car he could hear Eddie's footsteps coming back towards him so he turned around.

 “Ok Eddie, what's your deal are you ok-” Eddie cut him off with a hug, Richie was surprised. It's not like they never hug but richie is typically the one that initiates it.

“Oh Eds..” He could hear him start to cry even with his face muffed against richies chest. He held him tighter

“I don't wanna go back in t-there with her rich.. I just-” 

“No no, Eds it's ok lets just go to my house, you don't have to explain yourself to me” He said wiping the tears off Eddie's face.

Richie whips him around and holds his hand as they walk back to the car, Eddie could feel himself stumbling, he’d never really be drunk before so he was pretty out of it. They both climb back into the car and start to get systuated.

“Before we go..” Richie said with his hands on the wheel. “I just want you know know Eds that you never have too keep anything from me and if you're hurting you should let me because you my best friend and I lov-” 

Cutting riche off with perfect timing Eddie leaned and kissed Richie right on the lips. Richie was shocked and Eddie pulled away,

“I'm sorry I have know idea what that was, I just..”

Rich looked at Eddie for a moment with an almost no expression of emotion on his face. Then all of the sudden he pulled Eddie by the collar back onto him and pressed his lips against eddies.

“Oh richie”

---

Eddie shot up out of bed,

“Oh fuck,” he whispered to himself. His hangover was so bad he couldn't remember much of the night after leaving the party. After rubbing his eyes and bringing himself into reality he started to take in his surroundings. 

“Oh fuck. oh fuck. oh fuck” 

“Shuuussshhhhhhh” he heard a voice coming from the other side of the bed “im still fucking sleeping asshole”

But suddenly Riche shot straight up, still turned away from eddie.

“um-” 

“Richie, um- are you naked?” Eddie said with his eyes shut tightly.

“Yes- uh eddie are you-”

“Yes.”

Which was true except one thing. Eddie was still wearing richies leather jacket.

“Oh fuck”

“NO FUCKING WAY. nope nope” richie jumped out of bed and once eddie heard the bathroom door close he finally opened his eyes again. trying to find his clothes from yesterday when Richie made him change but he couldn't so he just grabbed a pair of richies running shorts and one of his T-shirts.

The bathroom door swung open. Richie was still fucking naked 

“RICHIE WHAT THE FUCK. PUT YOUR FUCKING DICK AWAY!”

Before he was able to close his eyes again he couldn't help but notice the nickeys on richie's neck that were not there the day before.

“Shut the fuck up eddie my mom is still asleep across the hall.” he said in a hushed tone while putting his shirt and boxers.

“Oh fuck” Eddie said while rubbing his eyes “it's all coming back too me, fuck”

Riche was pacing back and forth from the bathroom. 

“Well aren't you gonna say something?” Eddie said with anger in his voice.

“Well geez Eds, sorry I don’t really the proper reaction to fucking your BEST FRIEND!”

“Richie you don't know that we-” 

Richie glared at him. Eddie was bright red, but he didn't look away this time. He walked up to Richie and got in his face.

“Just because we don’t want to, doesn't mean we can’t talk about this, we need to talk about this..” he said calmly while he slid his hand into richies and squeezed it tight.

They both sat down alongside each other on the floor against the wall. All the memories and details of last night just flooding back into their heads.

“You kissed me” richie said laughing

“Whatever dickwad you kissed me back.” 

---

As the last couple weeks of summer were coming to an end Eddie and Richie only saw each other when all the losers got together instead of almost everyday like before. And instead of staying over at richies to avoid his mom, Eddie had been staying with beverly.

“Eddie are you ever gonna talk to richie again?” She said to him one morning as they were having breakfast.

“What do you mean bev? Me and richie talk all the time” he said, which was not a lie but it was also a stretch.

“You know what I mean Eddie, maybe if you would just tell me what happened I could help.”

“no never” 

“Oh common eddie, it couldn't have been that bad of a fight. What did you fuck or something?” she laughed at the audacity of her statement. 

Eddie almost choked on his bagel.

“Oh my god, eddie- DID YOU AND RICHIE F-”

He shot her a look “BEVERLY SHUT UP. KNOW OF COURSE WE DIDN’T”

“I knew it, I fucking KNEW you to where gay for eachother.” she proclaimed with pride.

“What the fuck do you mean you knew we where-” he said defensively.

“Who came on to who?” she said excitedly

Eddie looked away from her and she jumped for joy at the lack of his response.

“Oh my god! EDDIE YOU CAME ON TOO HIM?! Now there's a twist-”

“OH shut the fuck up beverly, if anything is a TWIST, the twist is that I fucking fucked my best friend”

“HA SO YOU ADMIT TO IT!”

“Oh fuck you. Like really, fuck you”

They laughed and the rest of the morning Bev forced Eddie to tell her the whole story. By now he remembers it all.

“And now we are here, he doesn’t know how to act when we are alone anymore and honestly neither do I.. so we have just been taking a break I guess. I'm just- it's all so confusing and I don't know what to do.”

“Well do you like him like that?”

“That's the problem bev, I mean I love him but we were drunk.. What if that's the only reason it happened.”

To be continued.

---

Notes : 

I'm gonna keep writing but i'm not sure if I wanna wrap it up or keep going. So we will see, I guess!

[nalax9]

Reunion [NeroxReader]

erm..a Christmas gift (ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ So..English is not my native language,I think there's grammar mistake┐(´◡`)┌ & anyone reading this,friends,I hope you enjoy the read) (*‘ v`*) Happy Holidays!

Cold air entered your room, jolts you awake from sleep,shivers.You grab the quilt wrap yourself up,walk to the window and close it.Then you sit on the foot of your bed,staring at the empty side, your lover is on his demons hunting trips,he is away more than 3 months.

Nero,Trish and Lady has been traveling to Mallet Island, their purpose is to investigate the island and find an entrance to the underworld,bring Dante and Vergil home. Half a year has passed after the Qliphoth incident.

Nero and you had a small fight before he left for the trip,he still had a shock after he knew the truth and you know how desperate he wants a family.Although he complaint so much how troublesome his father and uncle are,how can they try to kill each other and dumping him.Yet deep in his heart,he cares so much of his family.But you not willing he take the risk to investigate the unknown mystery island.The festival is around the corner,you wish he could be with you.

The loneliness and the voices in your head makes you want to cry,you shook your head,clearing your mind, takes a deep breath,swallow all your negative thoughts and sighing.

“Shit...I really missed him”

“Missed who? Missy?”

You startled,grabbing your guns beneath your pillow,point it towards the entrance of your bedroom. ”Who’s there?!” “Seriously?Point a gun to your long lost lovers?” “Nero?! You back?” Nero sip on his mug,he opened an arm urge you come to him. You throw your guns on the mattress,and jump to hug him. “WoahWoahWoah calm down Missy.”He giggles and hugging you ”Careful, I have hot drinks in hand.” He give a firm press on your shoulder,hands move to your head,ruffles and sniff at your hair. ”I'm home” “You are not lost,we just had a phone conversation few hours ago.”You sniffed.“I miss you so much...” “Yeah..me too” “Did you found them?” “No signs for an entrance and got beaten up by a giant golem.” “You gonna challenge it again,right?” “Probably,but we need resupply and Nico said she has an idea,might develop a radar or what else,we brought back some demons arms to study,she super excited.” Nero set aside his mugs on the side cabinet,arms around you “Miss me?” His eye locks on yours You nodded and kiss him on the lips“You taste like eggnog.”You slip in your tongue to deepen the kiss “You like it?Missy?You are aggressive than usual.” “Three months without you,I even have lewd dreams!” You broke away,panting.“ Last phone calls I talked about this to Nico,she does suggest me sweet surrender and teasing me that Im horny and touch starved.” “Lewd dreams?With whom?” “You’d mind if not you?” “Very” He grunts “PfffftIts it's a secret then!” You shush him,kissing his cheeks and move forward,nibbling on his earlobe. “Hey! That's not fair!” Nero try to push you away,but you pin him to the bed,straddle on him.Your hands move to his crotch,rubbing on his clothed cocks.He hissing beneath you,hips arch unwillingly. You push him back to the bed,undo his zip and belts,take out his half hard cocks from his boxer,toying him and kneading his sensitives balls.Nero shuddering under your touch,precum leaking from his tips.You grip on his cocks slightly harder,smearing his precum as lube, and give him a hard stroke,the warmth of your palms and the sensations of pleasantly melts his sanity. “h..hmm..m..more..” You lean down,teasing his throbbing cocks with the tip of your tongue,nails scratching on the veins.You heard Nero’s whimper and more precum leaking out.You lick from the bottom to the head,slowly.Then shove his cocks inside your pretty mouth in one go.His length deeps in your throat,girth spreading your mouth wide.You withdraw from him and deepen again,go in and out slowly,sucking and licking.He make a small huffs,breath shorten.Nero’s hands move to your thighs and kneading it.Watching your soaked panties aroused him more.He licked his lips,one hand palming your wet folds,his thumb pressing and rubbing on your swollen clit.His motion send stars to your head,you can’t help but look up,panting softly.He is working on you to distract you from your works and distract himself from release his loads in your mouths.Nero chuckles,fingers dancing on your clothed entrance.He push your panties aside,hand move forward,two fingers nibbling on your sensitive buds,sending more pleasure to you.Then he retreat from your buds,fingers flick teasingly and moves along from it to your entrance,repeatedly.More juice dripped from your cunts,wetting his hands. “You like this?” You lie on his thigh,nodded weakly.He guides you to him,bring you to his mouth and take a long licks. “nn..nh..Ne..Nero..” He begins sucking on you,tongue flicking on your wet cunt.Not to be outdone,you shove his cocks back to your mouth,pleasuring him with your new trick.Slick watered sounds fill in the bedroom.Nero then shoving two of his fingers inside you,crook and scratch on your walls.You been distracted and stop your works once again. “F..Focus.Missy.”He arch upwards his hips,fucking your mouth.His cocks hitting your throat making you rolls your eyes behind your skull and makes you mewling and drooling uncontrollably.He shove in two more finger twitching in you,feelings your walls tighter and tighter,he knews you almost there. “Let it out,I’ll catch you.” His motion faster and faster until you fell from the edges,squirt on his chest and collapsed on his lap.Nero patting your back, soothes and asks “y/n,you okay?”You nodded and he chuckles,then he turns you around, hug you and let you lean on him “Go on?” “Yes” you kiss him eagerly. “Nero..i want you.”You look at him,eyes full of lust.

Nero hold your hand to him,plant a kiss on your palm then put it on his chest “y/n..I’m sorry that I leave you alone for a long time.” You shook your head,smile on him. He gripped your hips upwards and entered into you slowly. “aa..y/n..y/n..y/n..y..you so good..”His puffing,pupils dilated,breathe shorten and cheeks blushing red.He evade your gaze, lips kissing and nibbling on the crook of your neck,buried inside and feel your warmth wrap him nicely but you are dissatisfied with his stillness.You whine impatiently,hips moving up and down weakly. “Impatient,huh.” Nero flipped you over,back on the mattress.He holds both of your legs,spread your legs wide open for him and angle his throbbing hard cocks in front of your wet cunts. “N..Nero..”You arching your hips impatiently,begging him fills your emptiness. “So..who did you dreamed?” You flushed and answer“.....It’s..y..you..Nero..” You heard him chuckled and the next seconds he thrust deep in you and humping you in a steady pace.You choked and whimper by his thrusts,his hand move to your lower belly,thumbs rubbing your swollen clit,your vision went blank,burning heats build up again inside your belly.You voice hoarse, screaming Nero’s name again and again,he thrusting into you more violent.You suppress your loud moans by cover your mouth with both hands.The headboard slamming to the wall,bed squeaking by his violent movement. “ngh..y/n..i'm close...” “..nhm..t..to..ge..ther..Nero..” Fews more brutals thrust and both your vision went blank while the climax hits you. He collapsed to your side,breathes heavily,finger brushing your cheeks affectionately and asks again. “y/n..you good?” You holds his hand,plant a kiss on his palm.“Yes” Nero’s strength recover immediately after his orgasm fade,he walks to the clothes stand and take out a small gift box from his coat. He holds you into his embrace,kissing your forehead and hand you the delicate box.You open it, there's a miniature Sparda statues ornament inside the box. “It’s cute.”You giggles “Let’s put in on the tree.” “Nero,can we go to the Christmas market?They're selling sweet mulled wine,assorted sweets and we need more ornaments.”You get up and he sees your eyes lighten up in excitement. “Sure thing,babe and we need a tree though. Let’s get ready.”Nero smile and kiss you “I love you y/n.” “I love you too Nero.”

[candyredterezii]

valenwoke replied to your post “hi guys i finally saw the nightmare on elm street reboot i ranted and...”

Why were u mad?

OKAY LET ME GET INTO THIS AS BEST AS I CAN CUS IM SHIT AT EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS

number one: wes craven wasn’t even asked about this film. they didnt tell him shit they just fucking went and made the movie with his character and his idea and was like byyyyyee which tbf the entire franchise rlly was wes having his like. child taken away from him and bastardized, only being able to reclaim it’s legacy in New Nightmare.

next, lets get into the character.

Freddy Krueger.

We all know Freddy as this really campy and jokey character. He’s a beloved slasher. He was funny and silly and his kills were creative and had funny one liners - robert englund brought to life this character and is one of the big reasons he was so beloved. He was a child murderer, yes, but a big thing along with it is we never actually saw him murder a child in the entire series. There was sexual undertones in subtext, and it was originally he was supposed to be a child predator as well, but they threw it out due to a real life scandal happening at the time and played it more subtext

Now. In the remake when they say they ham up the child predator shit they really, really do and it is NOT fucking pleasant at ALL.

But we will get more into that later.

Freddy in the remake, along with the entire thing tbh, is gritty. Edgy. Dark. He makes one liners and REPEATS OLD JOKES FROM THE SERIES, which throughout was liek. Haha that was in Nightmare (X), wish i was watching that one right now. His jokes were just. Flat. It wasn’t jokes it just made you kinda. Yikes. They weren’t delivered with the mirth and excitement like with Robert Englund.  His makeup made him look like a fish. He was absolutely disgusting. Making gross sexual assaults on Nancy on one point, granted nothing exactly major but enough to make ur skin crawl.

He was played to be just. Revolting.

Which isn’t a bad thing to do for a character - but not to one that has been well loved and rather like a ‘fun wacky uncle’ kinda guy. Not one with an existing legacy to be a wise cracker looney tunes kinda killer.

But let’s get more into the child predator aspect of it because holy fucking shit.

They literally show flashback scenes in the movie of Freddy playing with the kids and it was all like. Cute and sweet if you didn’t know context but seeing him interact with these kids is like. Revolting and makes your stomach churn. Especially them showing the little girl with her back scratched and a five year old nancy crying to her mom how “he takes us to his special cave” and burst into tears because she was fucking defiled constantly. 

Speaking of his special cave. Nancy and Quentin find it. And guess what they find? A bunch of photos of a naked five year old Nancy that Nancy sees and fucking has a break down over it because holy shit that’s fucking disgusting and heavy.

The movie is heavy. Very heavy and makes your stomach sick - and not in a like. Saw movie torture porn kinda way where you are like HAHA SIIICK. But in a fucking crushing reality and just makes you, the viewer, even feel utterly vile as you are watching this character be vulnerable and go through repressed trauma.

The whole movie deals with also Nancy and Quentin and the others apparently having repressed these memories and the parents trying to hide it by hiding their preschool photos and other things from their childhood.

It’s just utterly sickening and makes your skin crawl. Especially as much of Freddy goes after Nancy and speaks so vile to her about how she was his favorite, how beautiful the girl characters still are and how ‘grown up’ they are and just being a fucking creep.

Now that the story is pretty much fucking just. A fucking heap let’s get into the actual movie elements.

The one thing in the original Nightmares I absolutely LOVED was how dream like the dreams were. How they had this kinda dream like quality - it was whimsical! It was creepy and unsettling but also? Really fun? It was CREATIVE.  The deaths were fun and imaginative! The crew had so much fun coming up and creating these kinda deaths that you rlly couldnt get away with in normal stories cus its a DREAM where anything can happen.

Now in this movie? It was just. Oh. We’re in a creepy classroom. Oh looks like we are in silent fucking hill and then one flash of lights AA we are i nthe boiler room oh nooo. Oh nooo u got slashed by freddy and now you’re dead. Okay. Cool.

IT WAS BORING It was gritty dark and jsut snooze. it didnt even give any tension it was just. oh ur trying to be scary and thats it. ok.

Now this movie is also a reboot, meaning it’s a fresh start to the series. So someone who  hasn’t watched the original series should come in without having to watch the other films, right? Wrong. Now in the original movie, we followed the character Tina as a red herring to be the main character. The same thing happens in this movie, we do not follow Nancy (the one character whose name they kept. Which meaning if you have seen the original films, you know Kris is the Tina character and this twist is not gonna work on the previous fans who a MAJORITY IF NOT ALL this movie’s audience was. Even if you haven’t seen the first Nightmare most people know Nancy is the main heroine. I digress.) So we haven’t followed Nancy. At all. We see her once telling Kris she also saw something in her dreams and thats it.

Next we see her is when she comes to see Quentin. Sits down and just says, “Freddy” Where did she get this info? How is the audience supposed to know who tf that is or why or how or just. WHAT???

Okay. WHATEVER.

This movie also plays a lot on old gags, jokes, and visuals from the first movie as like. A homage. But they’re done.. So poorly. It just makes me go, “haha i remember that. wish I was watching that nightmare instead of this one.”

There’s also small plot elements that made me go ??? what. why?? like for example the mother of Kris apparently having kept one of her daughter’s dresses that was slashed when she was ASSAULTED AND DEFILED BY A MAN in a box upstairs with her preschool photos?? Like. Okay.

There is NO CHARM in this movie. No love. No passion. It’s just gritty and dark and just makes the audience feel utterly vile and absolutely tears apart the legacy of Freddy and NOES and everything Robert has done to the character. It has taken Wes’ original idea and story and just said Hey. What if we take this and just make it dark and edgier and SCARY OOOO. And then they tossed it in the trash compactor. 

I feel I’m missing even quite a fucking lot of shit too but. 

I fucking hate this movie so much dude.

[outragedslime]

1, 6, 16, 22, and 26!! For the ask meme

tysm!!! ill put em under a cut so it doesnt take up half the dashboard dgfjkdfgj i write a LOT SORRY GKFLHG

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

ough… ok i love. flowers. i love all flowers. but my absolute favs are speedwells? and i guess id also cough up flowers for the person im coughing them up For so id throw in some bloodroot and dogwood..   does this disease work if the love Is requited. EITHER WAY GDHKFLH

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.omg ok the whole experience of all of these movies imma list is like. tremendous. these movies (and show) got a great impact that one or two quotes for the life o them cannot cover the scale of emotion it gave me so… just gdfkh the source is more important than any of the actual quotes i write here tbh. theyre amazing they All made me cry.

1. Sing Street - “Look at her. She races home every evening just to catch that last little bit of sun, have a cigarette and read her papers. She’s always talking about going on a holiday to Spain, but he never takes her. That’s all she gets. Then that tall tree blocks it, and she comes in. I often wonder what she’s thinking about.”

2. Garden State - “We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but, for for the first time let’s just allow ourselves to be whatever it is that we are.” 

3. Good Will Hunting - “No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don’t owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and I’ll be 50, and I’ll still be doin’ this shit. And that’s all right. That’s fine. I mean, you’re sittin’ on a winnin’ lottery ticket. And you’re too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that’s bullshit. ‘Cause I’d do fuckin’ anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin’ guys. It’d be an insult to us if you’re still here in 20 years. Hangin’ around here is a fuckin’ waste of your time.”

4.  The End of the Fucking World - “It’s strange. A lot of the time you don’t register the important moments as they happen. You only see that they were important when you look back.”

5. A Monster Calls - “It’s okay that you’re angry. I’m angry too, and if you need to break things, by god you break them. I wish I had 100 years, 100 years I could give to you.”

ok those are all masterpieces if ur ever stuck on smth to watch i recommend these SDFGHFGJ

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfitaa honESTLY. big chunky ass boots. big chunky ass jacket. big chunky ass bag or belt with weapons and cute little satchels of herbs and whatnot. and a big fuckin floofy dress that is SUPER fancy almost like a wedding dress but it can be like a different colour than plain white. hell yeah !!

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.i guess a curse references something i Dont want to happen? bc a lot of the things that ppl might view as curses id actually love (dont mind me im still dying @ that “may your womb be barren” thing). but in terms of smth i dont want i guess an easy one would be that id never experience true content. true satisfaction. true peace.

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)i didnt have a Lot happen to me? i guess every time i have a recurring dream, or like. dreaming about something and then experiencing it irl? i think i rly believe in dream symbolism idk how it works at All but i rly do think its got like.. some reflection onto your own personal state. the only thing i can think of rn is when once i had a dream that i wasnt myself, and i kept changing parts of myself, like cutting my hair or later turning into some weird mermaid creature (sfhfgj) but like. in that dream there was a lot of children. children in school around me. children on a beach. a baby drowning. a child curled up in a fridge. and these two children, one of whom came up to me with a fuckin Horse of all things and went “do u want penis?” and im like “what” and shes like “my horse :) this is my horse, penis” and im like Odd name but ok and i didnt reply to the kid. anyway that morning i woke up and looked into dream symbolism and children and babies stand for a part of yourself youre neglecting, and horses stand for hm. “  male sexual energy and masculinity”. anyway thats how i found out i was trans GDFHJGH

SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH IM RLY EXCITED AND I LOVE TALKING!! THANKS !

[cr-scribbles]

Hello! Welcome to my first Children Rekindled review? I don't know what you would call this exactly because it's just me screaming. I'm considering on doing this for every chapter that comes out, but due to how long the chapters are, it might take two or more posts to get to the end of this chapter. If you haven't read the comic, go read it here > http://children-rekindled.top/?c=1&p=1 This comic is a reboot of the original so I might mention that one a bit, but I promise there won't be bad spoilers. Let's get started! 

Before I get into this, lemme just say that Bon does such a good job with the art?? Like the entire group working on this did so well!! I was really impressed about how it turned out caUSE HOLY HECK

oH IT THEM I love the entire bit of scenery in this panel? The colors work really well together and after a while of not seeing these kiddos actually ok, it's nice to see them all just chilling at Freddy's..alone? Charlie is an epic gaymer and no one can tell me otherwise. SHE'S STILL THE SMALLEST AND THAT MAKES ME SOB

IT'S MY FAVORITE BOYYYY Their dynamic already shown makes me scream?? I love them both sO MUCH!! Imagine being such an epic gaymer that you sweat after playing some game my younger self could relate- 

IM STILL SOBBING OVER THESE REDESIGNS?? Michael actually being interested in the animatronics makes this even better too! It makes more sense as well cause since they are older, why else would they be there? Before, they were just kids who thought the animatronics were real. Now Michael just brings them along cause he loves this sort of stuff!

Daniel ily so much u silly babey Francis is such a meanie, but he's so loveable! I just,,the most recent chapter made me wanna die for him.

This is why a lot of my incorrect quotes with Daniel has jokes?? I love the thought of him just being this boyo that tries his best to make others laugh and when it works, he's so proud of himself!! Ship content right there- Also Michael rambling about animatronics is the cutest thing! He's so happy with this and it just makes me uwu sm,,hE ALSO DOES BASKETBALL?? AND SO DOES DANIEL AND FRANCIS?? 

wAIT NO IM NOT READY

GO AWAYYYY I love this panel though?? Just the group and this creepy heck?? The colors make the entire thing look so great, bUT I HATE WHAT THIS MEANSSS

Have you guys never learned?? Have your parents never taught you not to follow strange bunny men? smh such bad parents At least Francis is being the reasonable person here, but it's sad really. Even being the reasonable person, he can't stop anything.

The panel just with the entire group makes me so happy aa I love them??

"My mouth's a tomb!" hAHA GET IT CAUSE HE HECKIEING DI- 💥 🔫

DON'T TOUCH MY BABEY BOY I knew this was gonna happen eventually, but honestly I get how Daniel just wanted to leave- that heck locking the door just made the entire thing feel off.

guys I'm going on a trip to save Daniel. anyone who wants to join me can just jump into the truck of the car because I'm going right now bye- MICHAEL'S FACE JUST HURTS SO MUCH When that heck pulled out a knife, they all knew what was going on and honestly that hurt me the most?? Like Michael is probably in such conflicting pain at the moment because he was the one that dragged them along into this.

Alternative AU where Daniel actually closes his eyes and William is like 'wait shit- I can't do anything now' Poor boyo seems to terrified to even do so- I mean this heck has a knife?? Who would close their eyes when someone is around with a knife???

NOOOO I like how bon did this panel, bUT NO NO I HATE THIS PLS STOP HURTING MY BOY I- iIt all goes downhill from here guys

Going through this entire page is painful First we have the reaction of the group which just hits hard!! How Michael turns away once Daniel gets stabbed already hurts enough. He can't escape the loud screaming of pain coming from his dying friend. Charlie also covers her eyes, but it's the same for that too. Francis being there just shocked about what is going on in front of him hITS HARD. The two are watching, completely powerless. They have to see their friend just heckieing die and couldn't do a thing. It must hurt Bianca a lot especially considering that the two seem to be rather close friends?? Seeing Daniel just slowly get weaker as his screaming of pain stops to show that he's finally dead really hurts? It already made the entire thing painful in the original, but in this it's just worse because once he stops, you really know he's gone. I wonder how the others feel when hearing that. The sinking feeling of denial and guilt in their stomach ESPECIALLY MICHAEL would just hurt.

please don't just yeet the boyo onto the floor- Bianca is a mess and this heck is like 'wow look at that!! I just killed your friend! Moving on-'

We all just want to hug Bianca here. If you don't then you're wrong. She looks like she’s just in so much denial. The Afterwound AU and Soul-Linked AU hurt due to this and I want that show. Both have it so they had seen each other die, but suddenly they are all ok? At least in the Soul-Linked AU they are for a bit- aus are so much fun, but let's get back to this.

There goes another one! what a shocking surprise! In the original (if you didn't read it), she just got her throat slit due to a guitar string, but now she got heckieing electrocuted. I wonder which is worse?? At least now she doesn't have a talking problem, but always shaking is horrible. I need to ask Bon more about how she feels, but for now I'm just gonna suffer

yet again, the reaction between these three makes me sob aLSO FRANCIS WHAT ARE U DOING

Francis is the logical one another, but going up against a weird bunny man that's taller than you and has a knife is awful already. Is he able to survive and get out of there alive with the rest? Haha what a stupid question-

More to unpack here! To begin, Francis trembling in the first panel just shows that even the bravest boyo around tHAT IS TRYING TO DEFEND HIS FRIENDS, is realizing that he can't even do that. How could he face someone who just killed two of his friends? Someone who was clever enough to lead them to this room where they are trapped and unable to run? Then when he got stabbed, for one, that must hurt like hell! And also he wasn't even able to do much to save them apart from telling them to run! He didn't even get a hit in before William was just like "time to murder u" "I hope you'll see your friends again soon, dear." HECK U WILLIAM THEY NEVER DESERVED ANY OF THIS PLS-

Third one down! Michael looks so terrified and honestly I feel the same way- I will make a part 2 eventually, but for now I will summarize how this are so far. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA what will happen to Michael and Charlie? find out next time on 'im gonna cry and sob for the next 24 hours and more oh god why did I do this'

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 6

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count:  2.7k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday and Sunday 

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

Thanks to my new lovely beta @thatphatdanussy who has already begun making some great edits to this monstrosity of a fic lol 

Almost as if time didn’t exist, Tuesday came. Phil doesn’t quite remember how the past four days had gone by other than he spent majority of them with Spike on his couch or working on his computer on his assignment.

But somehow, Tuesday came, and suddenly, it was infinitely more real that he was going to be showing Daniel Howell around London. To say he was nervous was a total understatement.

Phil was borderline sick from nerves.

He didn’t sleep at all Monday night, and when he did manage to sleep, he somehow found himself waking up every twenty minutes or so feeling like he was going to be sick. He eventually resorted to getting up and taking a few melatonin pills before collapsing back into bed, at least a little bit more drowsy this time.

His alarm woke him up at half past eight and he slowly began to get up, despite his body’s protests to remain glued to his bed. He quickly showered, brushed his teeth, and put in his contacts before he checked his phone and saw a message from Daniel.

Daniel Howell: good morning my manager is saying that I should get to the BBC as stealthily as possible so im sadly already here ill be waiting just inside the doors.

Phil sighed. He knew that Dan had just told him not to hurry, but now he felt like he had to hurry up so he didn’t keep him waiting. They were supposed to meet at the BBC at around 10 and it was only a little after 9 now.

Phil quickly made himself an instant coffee to go and said his goodbyes to Spike before rushing out of his flat and down to the nearest tube station.

When he arrived at the BBC, it was a quarter to 10 and Phil honestly thought that the timing could be worse. But he was super relieved to not see the fangirls situated around the BBC anymore and having it look like normal. Phil was happy to see it as it’s normal building and not a mob of police tape and teenagers.

He walked inside, scanning his badge as he did so, and made his way towards the only area he could think of that Dan would be in. He turned a corner, and sitting directly in one of the lounge chairs was Daniel Howell, sitting with his legs crossed. He was wearing a pair of tight black ripped jeans, and even though he was donning a very expensive looking jacket, Phil could just barely make out a fuzzy black sweater underneath.

He looked down at himself and frowned as he noticed that maybe his red and white striped shirt and jean jacket wasn’t the best choice. But he shook his head and tried to not be self-conscious around Daniel.

Daniel was a movie star and probably a multimillionaire. He shouldn’t be comparing their outfit choices.

Daniel spotted him nearly immediately and looked up, flashing Phil another one of his dazzling smiles. On the right of Dan, Phil could see a massive guy stood with his arms folded over his chest. And just the other way, there was a short woman who was sitting in a chair next to him.

Dan stands up, and the man and woman follow suit. Phil suddenly feels intimidated, but forces a smile anyway.

“Hey!” Dan says with a smile again. “This is Joshua.” He points to the large man who just barely raises his hand in a calm gesture. “And this is my manager Marianne.” He points to the woman. “Please don’t be intimidated by them. They wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Joshua grumbles and Phil feels his stomach sink. He definitely can see that Joshua is not one to mess around with. “If you say so,” Phil laughs cautiously.

Joshua chuckles to himself and Phil suddenly feels like he wants to collapse onto the floor and cry. But he won’t, obviously. So he chuckles a little bit―albeit awkwardly, and then extends his hand out in some haphazard form of a greeting. Dan raises an eyebrow and then extends his hand and they make contact for a brief second as Dan’s hand slots a little bit too easily into Phil’s.

His hand is warm, and soft. But it’s also gentle and strong at the same time. Phil doesn’t know why he notices this, but he does. And when they let go, he misses the feeling of it in his hand.

He shakes the thought away.

This was Daniel Howell. He can find him attractive but this little...crush...wasn’t going to do. He needed to shake the thought now.

“Are you ready to get going?” Phil asks Dan.

Dan nods quickly. “Yes! Do you fancy we could stop somewhere quickly for food? I’m quite starved.”

Phil was taken completely back by the natural, posh, London accent Dan spoke in.When he’d read about Dan online, he thought for sure Dan’s accent would be much more Americanized but in a way, his accent was more British than Phil’s. It was quite amazing.

“Oh, of course!” Phil said, his own coffee having gone cold in his hand. “We can go anywhere really. There are a few Gregg’s around and also some Starbucks. I also think there’s a Costa around here too.”

“We can just go to Starbucks.” Dan says with a shrug. “I’m not really too picky. I’m not much of a coffee drinker but I’ll take some tea and maybe a cake.”

“Okay!” Phil’s trying so hard to not be awkward about this. “It’s right down the street.”

Dan smiles at him and then they set off.

Phil watches as Dan says something to Marianne and she remains in her place, unmoving as they leave. Joshua is trailing behind them by a good few feet. But that still makes Phil feel a little bit on edge, knowing his every move was being watched.

They were fine walking on the streets as not many people were around on an early Tuesday morning. But once they stepped foot inside of Starbucks, it was over.

Phil kind of―well, not kind of, he did expect this―knowing he was going to be out in the open with Dan all day but he was prepared for the exact level of madness it was going to be.

Daniel had barely walked up to the counter when people started rushing to be around him. Phil could see people trying to take photos of him and try to hide the fact that they were doing so. He saw people immediately typing on phones and worse yet, he could see people staring at him. People were staring him down like he was an enemy.

Well, maybe to some people he was. He’d seen some of the not-so-nice things people wrote about him when people saw that Dan had followed him. He’d repressed those tweets, but he still remembered them. He could only imagine what was going to happen now.

“We can go somewhere else.” Phil says, his voice cutting through the air.

Dan shook his head and flashed a smile that Phil could see was obviously forced. “No, it’s gonna happen no matter where we go today.”

Phil gave a sad nod and watched as Dan tried to place an order while the barista was clearly having a major fangirl attack behind the till. He felt bad, in a way, for both of them. He felt like he shouldn’t but he did.

Dan eventually had his order placed and he paid quickly with what Phil could see was a black credit card and he immediately felt his face flush. But he moved quickly in line, placed his order for a tall chai tea, paid and moved on.

Joshua moved with Dan so Dan wasn’t in any danger by being in here. Phil was pretty sure Joshua would tackle any person who even dared to get near Dan. But that didn’t stop Phil from worrying.

He shouldn’t be worrying. Dan was probably used to this.

“Daniel!”

Dan’s head shot up and Phil watched as he quickly grabbed his order and then flashed a smile at Phil again and he and Joshua retreated quickly out of the door. Phil grabbed his order next and thanked the barista who was clearly still star struck. And then he left as well.

Dan was standing off the side of the shop, trying to mask himself into the building. Joshua was stood on guard around him as Dan slowly opened his Starbucks order and took a bite of whatever sandwich he was getting.

“Sorry about that.” Dan says once he’s swallowed the bite. “It’s going to happen no matter where we go today. It’s not something I can escape, sadly.”

“I’m sorry.” Phil spits out. “I’m sorry that you go through that.”

Dan shrugs. “Comes with the job, right?”

Phil tries to ignore the clear and present sadness that is laced in Dan’s words and he’s suddenly feeling extremely bad about all that he’s said about Dan to PJ and even Gemma and some other coworkers.

The first place that Phil decides to take them is the London Eye. They hail down a cab and they all get into it as the driver takes them to Westminster. Dan sits besides Phil on the bucket seat while Joshua sits across from them his arms folded.

When Dan caught Phil staring at Joshua, he chuckled. “I promise he’s not actually mean.”

“Has he ever had to tackle somebody?” Phil asks, his voice aa whisper.

Dan nods and takes a sip of his hot drink. “Multiple times.”

Phil sputters and Dan laughs again.

The laugh is almost angelic and Phil really wishes he could hear more of it.

They get to the London Eye and Phil takes them over to buy tickets. When he offers to pay for them both, Dan waves him off and shoves his card it the cashier instead.

“I was the one who asked you to take me around London. The least you can do is let me pay for some of the expenses.”

Phil blushes. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure!” Dan announces quickly as he grabs the three tickets and gives one to Phil.

They’re almost about to get in line when they’re being ushered by workers to go into an advanced line. Phil can almost see the pain in Dan’s face at knowing he was being treated differently due to his status but he didn’t deny the offer.

They made it to the front of the line before anyone else and they were given their own pod to ride in on the eye. Once inside, the doors shut, Dan walked over to the glass windows and looked out.

“I never got to experience London.” He says softly. “Even as a kid. I lived so close to here but my family never brought me or my brother here. I’ve been here for films but I’m normally so booked that I don’t even have time to go look around.”

Phil stands beside him and looks at him. He looks gorgeous in these lights. His brown hair is perfectly styled and curled. His cheeks are a perfect shade of rosey red. His eyes are gleaming but dark, like honey.

For the first time since Phil has seen Dan since meeting for the first time on set, he can see how stunning Dan is. Dan is stunning. He’s gorgeous.

And Phil is totally fucked.

“Is that Big Ben?” Dan breaks through the silence to point at the large tower in the distance.

“Yes it is.” Phil says, letting his clouded mind clear. “But it’s under construction right now so you can’t see any of it.”

“That’s a shame.” Dan says. “I’ve always heard about the bells.”  

“It’s been weird,” Phil says, a small smile on his lips, “no longer hearing the bells in London.”

“How long have you lived in London for?” Dan asks, turning his back to the window now and resting his weight against the rail.

“8 years now.”

“8  years?!” Dan exclaims.

Phil nods. “Been working at the BBC for almost all ten as well.”

‘That’s mad.” Dan laughs. “I haven’t lived in the same house in the past 5 years for more than ten months, let alone 8 years. I’ve been having to move so often because fans keep finding my address.”

Phil furrows his brows and lets the smile he was showing all from his lips. “Your fans find your address?”

Dan nods, his expression solemn. “Nothing of mine is private anymore, Phil.” His voice is sad. “I can guarantee that if you go onto Twitter right now, headlines are already making waves that ‘Daniel Howell was spotted in Starbucks with mysterious man’. They never give up.”

“Is it hard?”

“Is what hard?”

“Is it hard being famous like you are?”

Phil doesn’t know why he asks that, but he does.

Dan shrugs. “In a way yeah.” He says. “It’s an interesting lifestyle but...”

The eye starts to slow down and when Phil looks, he can see they’re already beginning their descent back down.

Nothing more is said. It’s quiet and deafening and when the doors open, a mob of people and paparazzi are waiting. Phil isn’t prepared for the complete onslaught of cameras and phones and flashes to be thrown into his face until suddenly their is a hand resting on his arm, tugging him away.

When he looks down, his heart races as he sees Dan grabbing his jacket and trying to get him out of the mob of people. A car is waiting for them and Joshua immediately runs and opens the door just as soon as Dan jumps in and Phil follows.

Joshua climbs in with them and as they look, there are fans running for the car. Some are even running to try to climb on the car. But they’re driving off and away.

When Phil looks over to Dan beside him, ready to thank him for yanking him out of the mob, he notices that Dan’s eyes are glassy. He’s about to speak up when he sees a tear leak down Dan’s cheek and Phil feels the hurt. He feels that pain, even if it’s for a second. Because this lifestyle is...well it appears to be shit.

And suddenly, Phil gets it.

***

Phil sees all of the tweets and headlines before he goes to bed that night.

“DANIEL HOWELL SEEN WITH MYSTERIOUS MAN AFTER FINISHING FILMING MOVIE IN LONDON.”

“DANIEL HOWELL’S NEW BEAU? WE’VE GOT THE EXCLUSIVE PICTURES.”

“WHO IS THE MAN PICTURED WITH DANIEL HOWELL?”

Phil feels quite sick looking at them.

He also feels quite sick knowing that his day was cut short because of them. The driver had taken them back to the BBC following the awful fan encounter and Dan apologized profusely when he exclaimed he wasn’t feeling well and would like to return back to his hotel.

Phil didn’t argue. He saw the tears on Dan’s face when they stepped out of the car from when he silently wept after what had happened. Phil would never ask him about it.

He also saw the tweets from Dan that followed.

@danielhowell: I’ve said this more than once but please do not follow me. I appreciate you all so much but it’s not okay to follow me around. (1)

@danielhowell: also please do not follow my car once I get into it. It’s not only unsafe for you, but it’s unsafe for me as well. Please know that your safety means the world to me and that’s not okay (2).

to@danielhowell:

@softdaniel: was that the amazingphil guy that you were pictured with in London???

to@softdaniel:

@yasmin__road: it has to be! The photos of the guy lined up with the same guy Dan just followed on Insta! I bet it’s a secret relationship.

to@yasmin__road

@danielhowell: phil is just a friend but I would appreciate it if you left him out of tweets like this. Thank you.

Phil read though more of them and eventually shut his phone off.

[godlyakechi]

so im walking in a bar, and I say, "dear boy, what is that you're drinking?! What is that thick demonry in your forsaken hands?" Hajime hinata looks at me with a 'pls i just want to drink my 7% milk'. Just by looking at his cocoa eyes I can tell he wants to grow up and be a coconut...he's running out of time. Grabbing his hand, he spills his 7% milk on the ground. The drunk bar tender is really mad and he says he wants me to smoke all of it to pay for the milk stain on the ground. Everything was so intense, I yanked Hajimes hand and we bolted out of my house. "Where r we going 14 year old girl I'm sorry but I'm gay" I look back at his concerned face and reply so he can chill, "I'm not interested in you like this I know your husband is komaeda"

Hinata smiles and flicks off a tree which caused me to scream. "What"

"IT'S KOMAEDAS BIRTHDAY!" I yell loudly and the people clap. Hajime cries. "I'm not his husband but I want to but I don't. I remember the day when..."

F l a s h b a c k...one year ago...

"Happy birthday koko bby" hinatata gayly stood in front of Komaeda who held the miniture trash can to his body. "It almost looks like my home thx for this present" he cheers and looks cute but not as cute as the God. Nanami awkwardly sits to the side playing Tony Hawks skating game, she is pro. Komaeda and Hinata are broken from the good time when Hinata stands up abruptly and says in a serious tone, "im gonna check out these hotel rooms"

He leaves out the door to go door to door, opening hotel rooms and asking

"Yo, who's hotel room is this?"

Komaeda and nanami were left alone. Nanami out down her wii and looked at komeada, "t or d" she said. Komaeda knew he just entered a death match. "It's my trashy birthday stop pls"

"T or d"

"Ahhhhhhhhh trruth" he says

"Are u really gay or are you pretending?" Nanami drops the bomb

Komaeda stares at her widely and scared like a fragile gay....

"I-i-i-..."

He stammers as his heart races. He can't let her know the truth that he is gay. He believes he's trash. He thinks he's as pointless as those scented trees you put in cars; hopelessly rendered useless. Staring into nanamis wannabe detective eyes he gasps out high pitchedly, "no I'm not gay I just love him like a lovely homie-"

"Yo, who's hotel room is..."

Hinatas mind: :( he isn't a gay ggay *cry*

End flashback

"I didnt see your flashback" I says with face palm like any cliche anime character.hinaat shrugs. "I designed your flashback"

"What"

"I dated your cars fat"

"Ok"

Aa noise was heared, it was a loud notable noise of a metal garbage can. Komaeda was vrooming in it near by. Running we both teleport to Komaedas whereabouts. When I see him hopping in his home i smile and say "youre second best boy. I love you and I'm glad to know you're a real life fictional character. I need you to say you're not trash for once, and admit youre gay. You're too gay for Hajime Hinata you can't even process the gay activity."

Komaeda shrugs "it's my birthday im not trash and i love hinata im so gay"

Llater

We ate cake

[winking]

multiples of 2

Who have you hurt the most? my dog bc i dont take care of him well like i used to....also mayb my friend belem

Who do you want out of your life the most?  out of my life...dam sad! and no one personally ... theres no one i rlly dislike that much ... i cut everyone out so its good now ... n my parents arent that bad

Who had the biggest negative impact on you? negative.... my ex fp shoutout to them they kno who they r 

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?  this is an interesting question? 

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?  hmm my little brother i wish i was more supportive! and my mom i feel like ive been a bad daughter

What’s your greatest fear? dying before im able to accomplish anything w my life, dying alone never knowing what love is!

What’s your biggest regret? i have many fnewkj ever telling i liked this guy in 6th grade hmm being so shy... becoming friends w certain people,...letting myself go through alot when i didnt need to

Describe your personal hell. njenfw sigh everyone who i consider my friend suddenly hates me, no one interacts w me , kathryn isnt online i have no wifi and no food i suddenly start missing my mom and thikning m worthless n ill just start crying 

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been? i dont remember im embarrassed all the time 

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been? when i was suicidal n honestly felt like it was never gonna get better

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt? when my friends were sad n i couldnt do anything abt it 

What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?

What’s the worst case scenario for you future? hmm next year i donnt get enough financial aid to keep going to my university i cant get a job i began to fail my classes n i end up dropping out of college all of my friends drop me my parents think im a failure i never find love n i end up killing myself 

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt? when i would start crying bc i felt like shit n i wanted to die ...so bad my stomach would hurt 

Describe a time you felt like a traitor. when i dreamt abt daniel 

Describe a time you felt inhuman. i killed a baby chick once when i was in like first grade

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? probably jus t like being a bad friend

What’s your relationship with your family like? we’re close n i love them alot theyre supportive n they gave me freedom so i should b grateful my dad does everything so i can have a better life than his but my mom is impatient n my dad is annoying theyre good parents bad individuals 

Talk about someone you’ve lost. lost...i dont wanna talk abt them i already do way too much when im not supposed to 

Talk about a desire you have that scares you. ............ wanting to b unhealthily skinny... n like... idk i dont wanna talk abt it also like nejkne waantng to have s*x w a stranger it scares me like wha t the heck i want love 

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of? njkewfw murdering smeone idk

Describe your worst heartbreak. my only heartbreak dknekjf in 6th grade i liked this guy long story short friends told him n like he didnt like me back  rlly wwas heartbroken like i cried in my bed i remember....n my cousin gave me advice i was too young to hav that many feelings n after that nothing is the same jfe

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?idk tiny ones that dont matter

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone? :(( aa few years ago my family went to a lake n my little brother was lke near the sand and i was too but farther away n me n my cousins were throwing rocking n i threw one in his direction i didnt think i would throw it that far n it hit him straight in the forehead n he started bleeding n now he has like a huge scar n i feel so bad everytime i see it :((((((( 

Have you ever self-harmed? sadly

Have you ever stolen something? yes

Have you ever been cheated on? no...

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone? dnkjewn no!!

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable? no thankfully i would die

[ectochrome]

vent shit. ignore

no really i’d like to know. who am i kissing up to anymore. got nobody here who looks at me like im human besides my brother. its just de**k a**a and k**k but thats it p much. aa**n maybe. no reason for anything anymore so. im sure de**k’s gonna forget me as soon as he graduates. a**a has other friends. she’ll be fine. k**k idk. feel like im clingy. ive stopped caring about even trying to reach out to k***e anymore i just dont have the sheer willpower to try and support anyone anymore. feel like im being too depressed even though i physically cant not be that way. if i just bottle it up more ill be fine i keep telling myself but then the good part of my brain is like “no lol dont youll die” but thats the thing i want to die. maybe im tired of taking the consequences and punishments and problems of other people without any recognition or appreciation at all maybe i just want to take a break from life i want to sleep but never wake up again and live without fear for once in my life because im always hoping i dont fuck up to them too badly and i finally fucked up too badly and now it just fuckin hurts that the support system i thought i had so strongly fell apart so quickly and now it’s just like one person and j**k but im still helping j**k so it’s not like it’s true help because im more worried about him than actually trying to pay attention to what he’s saying and fuck i just want to not care anymore ever i just want to break out of this hole all i do is dread the moment i get home, get home, become so blank and emotionless and everything is just drained out of me and i just do homework until i cant anymore or stop trying and then i do ovw or league and cry because fucking damn if i step out of this room i know im leaving myself vulnerable. it’s so fucking stupid it’s like all the anger and sadness and envy and hopelessness finally just crashed down at once and all my work to try and disperse that depression from so many years ago just hit me like a fucking freight train but this time it actually ran me the fuck over i thought i could trust them and it slapped me so hard. “supporting me” my ass. cant trust them. cant let myself be drawn into that selfish desire to give into envy whenever i see people actually being happy or being able to go out and do things like normal FUCKING PEOPLE. thats the funny thing it’s like i do feel happy sometimes for a split second, a brief thought, a note but the wind sweeps it away before i can hear the rest of the song and it fucking sucks dick. i dont think im gonna make it that long at this point. lmao. 

why did i think i could trust anyone anymore. im a fool. a fucking realass idiot slut sad selfish fool. 

i just want everything to be over.

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Friday

this is a Diary entry for future me, but feel free to read, as always. Cosplayed: Mik.an Tsumiki

Okay, so i woke up early to get there by 10 am, ate 3 bowls of cereal n dad helped me w my wig n the bandages n stuff then i went to the con and made it there at abt 9:40 am..? around then, and went downstairs to look around before going to the ouran or hs panel so i spotted the nice Ann from earlier along with a futaba that they were friends w and i hung out w them for a while talking abt stuff and tried spinning a spinner for the first time?? rly hard w nails tho so i gave up and gave it back to them and i heard “hey nurse!!” and turned around and a ruruka and komaeda w a big monob.ear plushie were riding down the escalator waving at me and i got a pic of them and they took a pic of me and ruruka gave me a gummy candy but i had to return it bc i dont eat gelatin but they were nice! i saw em a few times later too. so i told ann and futaba that i was gonna go to the hs panel and said goosbye 

and i went to the hs panel and it.. wasnt too fun?? idk it was just a small panel. they were eating ben boozled beans to see if they got the good or gross flavor and i asked nepeta what her favorite kind of cat was and terezi tried to rap and gamzee did shenanigans but after a while i wanted to see some of he ouran panel so i went in there but not much was happening so i stuck around then eventually left it bc i was kinda bored

and then!! the LL pep rally aa! it was major cute, and all of the dancers were amazing and it had me having LL songs stuck in my head esp the nico and nozo duet song aa and while they were dancing i think i almost teared up bc i started having Idol Feelings?? flrhknrfhb but ANYWAY the maki, after asked, mentioned en.stars but she didnt kno how to play + she ddnt wanna read a japanese walkthrough and u could literally see me STRAINING not to tell her i could teach her how and i couldnt after the panel but oh well! the panel was rly cute n fun aa and there was a halloween!yohane w a rly nice outfit and after taking her pic i was like “im ur fallen angel now, yohane-sama!” and she was like “yes you are one w me now or somefin it was cute!

After that, i forgot that there was an SU panel and i went to the ON.S panel and some of the jokes were funny but since im not major into o.ns (never was, altho ive seen seasons 1 and 2 and read some of the manga) i eventualy left bc i got kinda bored and they startedplaying games like “Honey i love u” (and a friend later told me that the panel got boring after that) and bc i heard there was a DR meetup going on, i decided to go since i had 30 minutes before the max mitt.elman q and a but most of the cosplayers were just standing around and talking waiting for a photographer and a juzo was rly nice to me and so was the mondo (who seemed to be running the meetup) but by the time they got a photographer, it was time for me to go and mondo’s like “u joinin for pics?” bc i was standing off to the side looking at the con map n i was like “ah.. no, the voice of ryuji is here n i wanna see him” so the mondo said they were gonna be morgana at the per.sona photoshoot on satuday and that max might be there and im so SAD that i cant go to it bc its at midnight aa..

but so i left and i went to go see max mit.telman and it’s! surreal seeing a celebrity and everytime he spoke all i heard was Ryuji honestly thats what i thought of almost everytime fhnkhn but a lot of the talk in that panel was abt voice acting or spi.derman but i managed to aask him a question abt per.sona (”whats ur favorite castle and character?”) and he said kamoshidas palace bc ryuji’s awakening is in there and that ryuji was his fav n when i said Of Course he said “oh, other than ryuji? hmm.. the subway announcer” and everyone laughed and i think someone else asked him abt per.sona before me and it was like.. what was the funniest ryuji line to do and max said “the line where hes eating and he goes ‘IT’S LIKE A MEATY EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH!!’” and i was laughing aaa but it was so cool! but i left near the end of it and went to the DR panel at 1:30

and the DR panel was kinda boring, i stood in the back bc there were tall ppl sitting near the places i like to sit and stuff but hey did lil games and i asked mono.kuma “what his fvorite exocution was (”h-hopefully not mine!”) and he said terut.eru’s w the helicoptors and they had trivia but the only question i knew i dint raise my hand fast enough unfortunately but its okay and later in the panel i asked junko how she really felt abt mikan (and called her junko-sama aaa) and junko said “well.. i kill the people i love so.. haha!” but made a heart w her arms and i made a heart w my fingers

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF TODAY there was a dm.md dating panel and i was like “hhh clear is best boy im gonna wait until clear is called then take a seat as a contestant” so the panel was funny and virus was all like “how do you feel abt exotic pets” and contestant one was like “well i do love bigass snakes” and virus is like “oh yea? well i have 2~” n koujaku mentioned something like theyll have to be a snake charmer and one lady, when virus asked why he should choose them, she said her character (Foxxy) once put chicken up herself and it came out fried and her friend, who was #2, said “I CANT COMPARE WHEN HER P**** DOUBLES AS A MICROWAVE!” and the other girl went “easy bake oven” and everyone was laughing and #2 couldnt stop laughing and it was Wild tbh ekhrhflj AND THEN when they called cleae you could see me stand up SO EFFING QUICK AA and i sat down as contestant 3 and as i sat down i was like “aa i was waiting for clear hes my best boy” and clear (and kou i think) heard me and went “oh aww” and clear asked his first question of “what do you think of jellyfish” and #1 said they’re squishy, #2 said they’re pretty yet kind of delicious, and i said “they’re pretty and floaty.. and theyre soft- well, they look soft, yanno? and they’re swimming all free.. w how theyre floating, maybe theyre secretly fairies or something?” and everybody Aww’ed aaa and then clear asked his 2nd question “where you take me on a date?” and #2 said the obv answer of aquarium, #1 said a beach at sunset i think, and i thought for a sec abt how clear is soft ans sweet and said “i think something simple, like a sleepover, and we could have glow in the dark stars on the wall n all yanno, and maybe watch a movie w a pillow fort and lots of plushies?” and everybody Aww’ed harder and i just kinda shyly smiled and i heard the panelists Awwing too and koujaku turned to clear and said “so, do you need to ask a third question or do you obv already know who ur gonna pick” w an Obvious tone and clear nodded (rly cutely aa) and walked down n he was like “would you.. do me the honors of being my chosen one?” and holding out my bouquiet (which was what the winning contestant got) and i was smiling so hard and nodded (i think we hugged too?) and i said “only if i have the honor of giving you a lollipop, clear~!” and gave him a fake shot and a lollipop and i was like “if you need a different flavor u can have a diff. one aa” and clear was like “ah oh no that’s fine!” and koujaku was like “oh my god can we have her instead of these guys” (meaning the other dm.md panelists) and  was fidgeting back to my seat in jy and slight shyness but after that i asked clear 2 questions during the q and a and i asked if he would make his brothers Good and not on the side of toue if he could and he nodded yes and one of the panelists played jellyf.ish song and i was like aa and then later i said “um.. clear.. i think you’re kinda similar to that one robot.ic pokemon princess- um, i forgot her name bc of my memory but-” and clear was nodding and blushing and i was like aaa bc we’re both Shy so it’s just us both being nice and blushy and i couldnt hear it well but i think clear was like “we should see it later” and after the panel was over i was gathering my bag and the clear came up to me and they were like aa you’re so cute can i take a pic of you” and i was like “yea sure can i take a pic of you?” and so we talked abt how neither of us have seen the pok.emon movir i was talking abt yet and i gave clear a hug and they were so cute im gonna Cry aa... im Lov............

after that i walked around the dealers room and the female hajime from earlier that i saw at the meetup and at the DR panel asked me to pose w them and since they got a bouqiet from the dm.md panel too we posed w those like a marriage proposal and i was like “take that spike ch.unsoft we’re making DR Gay now” and we stood around and talked abt per.sona until i saw a ryuji and goro and hajime and i took pics of em and we talked w them for a sec (the goro was like “nobody likes goro they all want pics of just ryuji”) and they were Nice and i saw dm.md cosplayers that i saw at the panel in the dealers room and they kept complimenting me on how cute i was during the panel aaa AND i met the virus and trip who were in the panel and they complimented me too and we stood around and talked for a while and i was like  “is virus’ jacket green bc he’s Poisonous?” and they were like “..interesting though. maynbe! :o” and i was like “and trip is piink for sweets, virus is green bc of snakes maybe? and trip’s pink could be a lion tongue?” and i gave them both lollipops + fake shots (i was like “maybe oit’s heroine. OH or maybe i shot you up w... Morphine” and we all went aaayyye) and i left

the oso.matsu-kun ppl never showed up so ikept browsing the dealers room and while i was looking at en.stars blind boxes, i saw a naegi going thru the id.olish omanjuus but i thought they were en.stars ones and i went “omg are you an en.stars fan?!” and they were like “YEA are you??” and i was like “YAH” and so we talked abt the event and how he wants a wataru omanjuu even tho he kinda finda wataru weird and turns out hes a SwitchP and a rabitsP bc “he has self-care” and doesnt go close to Popular units and we talked for a while and he apparently didnt kno abt the en.stars panel on saturday so i told him abt it and led him to the idol merch booth n showed him the en.stars keychains and found atsumugi for him and he got a sora and some lady in a pink sweater (?) was looking thru the boxes too so i was like “ARE U INTO IT” n she was lieke “yea!” so we talked w her and shegot the shu christmas charm (i joked that it mustve been fate we met bc i got the mika one) and she said she likes valkyrie and she mentioned her artist alley booth has en.stars stuff (i couldnt fint eh booth) and that someone she knew was cosplaying mika (didnt fine em either) or maybe she said “was going to..?” but she said she was gonna go w a friend as leo and madara in vacation clothes on satuday n i was like “DUDE COOL” and naegi said he might cosplay nazuna at metro or just eventually and i was so happy aa but eventually i left the dealers room

the os.osan q and a wasnt much to talk abt so after that, the bn.ha q and a AND the bb dating panel were PACKED but i stood in the back of the bn.ha one for a while but thought abt leaving and dad called me so i took my chance to leave and answer him and after that i just walked around more and met an eg.gs benedict who hung out w me and we saw a nof.ace who gave them candy and we talked w an akira abt stuff before i left to walk again and after a while i met a Honoka and a Kamoshida and we talked abt en.stars and LL and aa it was fun they were Nice and i went to the mat.suno mixerfor the last half (i looked inside earlie, saw no one and didnt go inside but they apparently stated late) and got chosen to be a contestant for ichimatsu (which i found ironic bc i had already won a dating game today haha) (i was contestant #1, he couldnt see any of the contestant bc there was a rack between us) and ichimatsu asked “whats ur opinion on cats”and i said “well i love them!! and rin h.oshizora is my best LL girl so of course nya!” n for the 2nd question he said “my brothers r gonna hate me for this, but how submissive are you?” and i said “well.. technically i’m a switch, but i’m Mostly a bottom, ichimatsu-sama... And i mean.. i let junko-sama step on me so..” and some ppl laughed aa and for his third question he said “on a scale of 1-10 how much do you think im trash” so i decided not to say 10 or 11 and said “well i think you’re mosre like.. a recycling bin! nor fully trahsh, perse! but im p lazy too so we can be trash buddies together!” and in the end ichi said he liked #1 n #3 but #1 charmd him more so the rack was removed and i got a bouqiet of duct tape flowers from him and i said “i can be your kitty, ichimatsu-sama nya!” and he linked elbows w me and escorted me down the stage stairs and it was nice aaa..

after that was the pajama rw.by panel but it wasnt v interesting and some guy in he audience was loud and annoying and the LLpj party where i talked w the honoka and kamoshida from earlier and a different honoka and we talked for a sec abt en.stars and id.olish and the panel was okay but i was.. tired aa...

the DR panel turned out to be mostly party games not q and a and i was tired so i left midway thru once dad came to pick me up at like 11:30 and we got mcnuggets and a medium fry to share and!! con day overrr

[subprimemortgage]

im literally crying bc i love gorillaz so fucking much

im gonna see them again im crying so hard lol im so thankful ive seen them once and im seeing them again oh my god like im watching recordings from the 2010 show and bawling my eyes out aa