#im gonna be fine tho. hopefully-
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Hey haha this blog is not ded!! just that in line of uh, recent world events it kind of did not fell right to mindlessly blorbopost, but after doing everything in the power of my teenage moneyless self, I bring none other than a colorpallete experiment with Nine!!
#sonic prime#i might or might not have went an entire day hyperfocused on this and not drink a glass of water#my eye is also looking whack#im gonna be fine tho. hopefully-#drawing the gun and tails actually gave me fucking stroke the pain and hopelessnes I felt#my ass cannot draw mechanical shapes!!#anyway love the colors i have to make more shit like this this was fun#miles nine prower#nine the fox#mah art#actually finished doodl#me does arts
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KazuRei Week Day 1 - Growing Old
when miri is fully grown and moves away from the family home, the papas move to the countryside and become the unofficial elder gays in the little village
#the papas deserve a good rest from the bustle of the city#rei is wearing a samue ! he likes casual yukatas bc its simple and loose (and very different from the suits that he used to wear)#kazuki just likes to wear a shirt and basketball shorts lmao#he also has a bit of a beer belly ;w;#most of the townsfolk privately refer to them as elder gays even tho they never officially told anyone but cmon.#no one's falling for the ''we've been roommates for almost four decades'' bs#they suck at giving advice tho... (baby gay: how did you guys come out to your parents?#kazuki: never told mine. we already weren't on speaking terms when i met rei so.#rei (trying not to say that his father tried to assassinate both his husband and child when he found out): ... yeah same#((also yes this is all inspired by barakamon lmao. its one of my favourite animes - slice of life comedy and has lots of cute kids in it!))#anyways first prompt done woo!!! happy kazurei week everybody!#this is the first fan week that im gonna participate in all the days (hopefully lmao i still have to do two other prompts)#also i tried to do a different style than my usual in the first pic and even tho im not entirely happy with it its eh. fine. lol#i just like rotating this half-cooked au in my mind hkfhkjfdgs#buddy daddies#kazurei#kazurei week 2023
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taking an extra half an amfexa before I leave work bc [redacted] (popular artist) is playing my city tn and I'll need it to cope with how awful the traffics gonna be when I'm on the bus 💀
#thinking of that post abt the customwr who tried to pay for smth with a piece of paper that said $40 voucher on it#and the guys coworkers being like how are u so calm? and the op is like i went to the break room and took an extra adderall#NOT TO MENTION PPL ACTUALLT GOING TO THE CONCERT ON MY BUS.....theyre gonna be soooo annoying 😭😭😭😭#but i wont care ill be listening to the katamari damacy ost and reading dorohedoro v10 peace and love on planet earth#i hope i get a seat at least#ALSO NINTENDO DIRECT WHEN I GET HOOOOME YAYY#.diaries#its fine cuz i didnt take a dose at lunch since i wasn't crashing anyway.. its only rly hitting me now#i didnt have anything to do at work this afternoon so didnt need to be able to focus.. someone from qc was using equipment i needed to#so i had to move it to another day. was nice tho i gave a coworker some of my leftover brownies n we took an extra half hour break >:)#and then went and complained abt [artist] to another coworker bc hes not a fan either LOL#very productive day 😇#im gonna need the focus to be able to call my mum tonight tho.. amfexa save me save me amfexa#and im gonna go to bed even earlier. i somehow got 7.5 hours last night which is a rarity for me but still felt knackered when i got up#maybe like 9:30 tn and hopefully it wont take longer than an hour for me to fall asleep and i can aim for 8hrs🤞
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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AHAHAHAHAHAAA you thought i was done??? ¡NO, MORE ART!!!
@rainbowchaox @simple-seranade
#soul battler#<- hopefully thats rigjt lol#team rancher#rancher duo#oakskull art#im back fr9m work and back on my brainrot#its also 230 am so i am sleeping now#anyways i thought i was gonna do some design work but i really judt wanted to paint so i just cleaned up the designs i already gave em#featuring a more chibi style and mild color changes#yes tango isnt wearing a shirt. hes a beast he can do what he wants#the fire coild be better but its fine enough. thinking about ice texture tho... i wonder if i could pull it off#anyways hope you gamers enjoy even if its pretttyyy much the same
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when drawing i spend a lot of time. like a LOT of time blurring my eyes because I used to be a huge perfectionist and doing that helped me picture what it might look like to someone who is not me (especially to someone just passing by or not super familiar with art in general) AND it does help a lot with that but I've also noticed sometimes I focus so hard on what my art looks like blurry and from afar that I forget. what it looks like normally. it's made me really pay attention to tonal distinction at least LOL
#like sometimes if a drawing doesnt pass the grayscale value test i'll be like hmmm...#(not even the real grayscale test like taking a pic and setting it to b&w. my weird fucked up ver instead where you put the drawing several#feet away and blur ur eyes. i guess people with glasses can do that by taking em off)#if the tones arent distinct when blurry and far away WHATS the point#which is a silly thing to worry about. sometimes a monotonal drawing is what you want to give a specific mood#literally tho sometimes i'll be like thinking huh this drawing was alright and then like a teacher will gush about my linework#and i'll be like what linework. unblurs my eyes. oh right it aint half bad#i do like doing linework tho. so im glad my linework seems to be liked! i should look at it more often#sorry im starting my final year of my fine arts degree. i have to do a hashtag undergraduate thesis#(TWO ACTUALLY im a double major because im insane) so ur gonna see me get all like#introspective about my art process again LOL hopefully i wont get as deflated as i did earlier this year this time!!
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i do love that the headache phase of a migraine is called an attack in english
#in finnish its 'kohtaus' so youre having an 'episode' which is the truth but it feels more accurate that your body and the environment#are maliciously attacking you#lmaooo im thinking abt this bc i REALLY need to renew my prescription bc its summer#so when the thunderstorm season starts im gonna be in trouble lol#and i remembered abt that bc ive been seeing those silver spots and i got worried#nothing else tho so hopefully i should be fine for now#personally for me its more common to get the black spot that takes up a quarter of your vision and stays for hours#but you never know. its not the exact same every time so
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FUCK I WATERED MY PHONE
#PLEASE LANA STAY WITH ME!!!!!#she seems totally fine but im cautious.... am i gonna go to the corner store for the third time today to buy something to absorb her moistu#idk ill google some more#shes off n toweled dry anyway so hopefully she is fine#shes old tho and at one point the glue on the sides of her screen popped up bcos i fell on her n shes bent now#so i superglued it down and like that probably worked but now im worried abt it...#idk idk. more google.
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also bwehhhhh may be ia for like a bit
#emil.rtf#health issues my hated . ill be fine tho i think#im gonna try n see if i can get thsi checked out tmrw bc its like 10 pm and my moms asleep so.#i should hopefully be fine tho i think its just a rash or smth
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I WAS ABOUT TO SAY IM BEING HATE CRIMED CAUSE THE FIRST ONE I REVEALED WAS KANDA BUT THEN I SAW I GOT MINE AND //BARKING NOISES//
#snap chats#SO FUNNY THO I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING 'oh man i really want the white suit mine'#EHEHAHEHAEHHAH IM GONNA THROW UP hes so handsome...#ALSO SAEKO W? ?????? AND DILFZAMA ????#idc i still think he hot#also obsessed with this game giving me Two (2) nishikis..... i see you youre literally not slick in the slightest#i was hoping the purple was tokugawa </3 but nishiki's fine too i really needed a purple unit#im just pissing myself over the fact i got mine since Obviously i really wanted him#hopefully i can pull his other cards and toshi from this banner..... daigo too if i may dare to be so lucky#anyway running to replace inoue with mine for my homepage avi sorry king but im ill
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ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED ON TUMBLR LIVE AND HIT THE FUCKING 'GET STARTED' BUTTON WHEN I WENT TO LEAVE THE PAGE
#😭😭😭😭#so mad right now#i didnt wanna agree to ur stupid terms and conditions i dont agree i just fucked up 😭😭#im never gonna use it so hopefully that's fine. so fuckin mad tho.#at least the stupid 'new' is gone now? :/#dammit#jack jabbers
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...
#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new#email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head#by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start#to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do#specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared#so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently#but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have#to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it#like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took#university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it#ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep#tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts#jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds#like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write#and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated#which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust#and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset#itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me#unrelated
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ok cool Now im REALLY gonna be sick. :(
#having a house talk tonight. who wants to make a bet w me#i bet its gonna devolve into a screaming match between the boys and nothings gonna get resolved. bc thats just how [redacted] is.#hopefully im wrong tho! who knows! i just know im gonna be there w them until my bf gets home at god knows when so Thatll be fun :)))) /s#anyway. feeling absolutely sick at the thought of this convo even tho itll prob be fine but. i dont know these people enough to say#that confidently 😭😭😭😭#talk tag
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My hips been acting up latley for the past three days so I might not draw much because of how uncomfortable it's been AUGH I can't even sit comfortably at my desk because of it >:(
#ofc it wont stop me... too stubborn for that#but im probably gonna get it checked out bc its gotten a lil worse#trying not to stress myself out abt it ( i worry abt my hip dislocating on me bc it feels like it wants to- AUGH#but im sure its fine- i just need a second opinion on it by a doctor and hopefully i can figure out whats goin on#im just gonna try to rest today- im rlly bad at doing that but I'll try#even laying down feels uncomfortable tho... but imma try.#brosif rambles
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god i cant wait til i can get a windows laptop again... i wanna do sonic mods so bad
#in generations specifically bc i remember adoring that game#i cant play it now bc my brother sold my copy for the xbox for money#and my mac cant run sonic games#i also wanna finally play the adventure games.... ive always really liked them and had fun when playing them on lex's computer#and i love the stories in them and also playable big (even if i know his mode sucks apparently idc i just love him)#i also wanna be able to finish hk on steam and play stuff like ahit and portal#i have the latter two but steam literally went ''yeah you can play them on mac SIKE no you can't hehe''#its cool tho portal was super cheap when i got it. feel bad abt hk and ahit tho bc those were steam gifts....#im not gonna get a new one tho til after college at least hopefully bc i got a mac bc they said it was better for schoolwork#and i dont like replacing things if the original works fine#and this laptop still has a lot of life in it#at least i hope it does. hm#after college tho and after i have a lot of time and whatnot its OVER tho#echoed voice
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.
#i spent the whole past hour or so drawing out myself a calender#so i can cross off every day i try to draw smth. or learn smth new about drawing#in the hopes that maybe i’ll stick to it often enough#its not a goal to draw everyday but more so when the end of the year comes i can look back and see how much i tried?#idk if that makes sense#but yeah#i never stick to stuff so i dont wanna set goals#last year tho. i made a like reading list where i listed everything i read for the year#and i actually stuck to it the whole year which im surprised#about. it was mostly manga series & only a couple of books#but i’m gonna try and do it again and hopefully there’ll be a few more books#idk theres no real point to what im doing but its fine to look back at and also useful to keep track of stuff ;-;#personal#i love doing silly lil things like that tbh#like i have a spreadsheet kinda thing for shows and stuff to. just to keep track but also bc i enjoy that kinda thing#is that weird? idk
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