#and i actually stuck to it the whole year which im surprised

[luckykiwiii101]

Hi Wii!! 💖

It's finally my turn. My own void success story💕💕. ahhh i'm so happy! This is kind of long so sorry for that.

So, just for a back story, I have been terminally ill for a while now. I was always in pain and even after discovering subliminals 5 years ago i was never fully 'able' to get rid of my illness. But then I came across the void state one day on tiktok while looking through shifting methods and instantly knew that it was for me. The thought of it genuinely made me so happy and not in like a 'i'll get all my desires' way but in like a 'ofc i can give myself whatever I want.' way. But i kinda fell down a rabit hole on tumblr and really put the void on a pedestal that i had to 'pass' in order to get anything😔.

But then, a few weeks ago, it really clicked. I did one of those 3-day challenges (i didn't follow anyone elses, just made up my own routine and stuck to it.) and it helped tremendously both with my self concept and void concept. i know these aren't really important but they sure help lol.

Anyway i didn't get in the void in those 3 days but i realised that instead of hating not waking up in the void, my thought process was just ''well, i'm getting closer aren't I?" and i honestly caught myself off guard with that🎀🎀.

But then last night, i got ready for bed and went to sleep. But I kept waking up in the middle of the night because it was kinda hot. Anyway, i had a holiday from school so I was gonna sleep in.

My sister had to go to school tho and we share a room so when she wakes up, i usually do as well just because of all the rustling. She opened the light to our room and i felt a faint light infront of my eyes. I couldn't hear her then for a while but I just assumed that was because she left the room. Then my hearing came back and she was asking me about smth so i opened my eyes but noticed that the 'source' of the light i felt while my eyes were closed was different to which light was open in the room(I really hope that made sense). I then realised that it took awhile for me to properly feel my body again and thats when i realized i was in the void- aware- for once!! 💗💗

I honestly wasn't surprised that I woke up in the void without doing anything because I have full faith in myself but it has really helped me make my belief in the void even stronger. I have a whole list of things i want to get so when i get in the void again tonight, I'm gonna affirm for all my desires!! Wait for my full success story please 💖💖

Also, to all the people out there, i know it's hard but all you genuinely need to do is trust yourself and your power, remember you are The Creator.

Thanks again Wii, you've been great help.

(btw, so sorry for any typos, english is not my first language😔)

Success Story ✨✨✨✨💗💗💗

This is truly amazing!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! AND EVEN MORE PROUD THAT YOU ACTUALLY TOOK YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS!!! MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE YOU!!!

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I’ve had some thoughts about Izuku and his actions in the post-canon chapter that I haven’t known how to voice until this very moment so uh I just wanted to say that I actually saw myself in him and his decisions and here’s why:

(warning: manga spoilers and minor traumadumping)

I just recently turned 20 years old and I’ve been noticing that life feels a whole lot clearer now that I’m out of my crazy house (for the most part) and attending college, but I didn’t realize just how murky and foggy everything had felt up until now.

Like seriously looking back on it, I felt like my head was underwater and I was in a fishtank watching everyone pass me by. Some people would come up to the glass and reach out, but I didn’t really reach back bc I just assumed that since there was glass I wouldn’t be able to truly connect. Instead I kind of acted the best and brightest that I could, almost like I was performing tricks for them, in the hopes that they’d at least stick around, but I didn’t think I’d be anything more than a passing interest to them. But that was okay because I liked seeing the people and it was enough for me, I’d take what I could get.

Also some context: I was homeschooled as a kid and was a pretty isolated child whose only real connection to anyone was with her younger sister (which may or may not have been an unhealthy relationship) so when I finally attended high school, I went through those years thinking that everyone who ever met me wouldn’t really like me or want to stay connected bc if my own lil sis didn’t then who would? And though I did make friends, and they def reached out and touched the glass, I felt like I was this intangible thing that they would soon move on from and forget, once again leaving me alone in the water

Last year, someone came up to my tank and punched straight through the glass

And holy fuckin smokes everything changed

I have this dear friend that I’ve known for quite a long time (6 years now), but I never in a million years would’ve guessed that I had any real impact on her bc she was so well-liked and was surrounded by so many great people. I was just me.

But one night, she told me that I was her best friend.

Did I cry? Uh huh big time

But also?? My entire worldview changed????

Cuz WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM SPECIAL ENOUGH TO YOU FOR YOU TO DECLARE THAT OUT OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW, I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND

Basically, since then I have never felt more alive, and now I’ve decided that my days of being a wallflower to everyone I know and love are fuckin OVER

IM BEING PRESENT AND ATTENTIVE AND INSERTING MYSELF INTO PEOPLES LIVES BC THEY WANT ME IN THEM BITCHESSSSSS

“Wow, Song, congrats on the epiphany? I guess? What does that have to do with Izuku??”

Great question my friend

In my humble and lightly biased opinion, Izuku grew up without a bunch of self-worth and didn’t think very highly of himself. He also didn’t grow up with very many (healthy) friendships, and when he finally attended UA, he got his first dose of seeing people actually reaching out to him

But I think he was stuck in a daze of “Wow they really wanna be my friend? That’s crazy cuz they’re so cool and I’m just. Me.” <- similar to how I acted in hs.

And after all the ✨traumatizing shit✨ he went thru up until the end of the series, I think it’d be understandable if his life felt a bit foggy and murky, like he was existing but not truly living (esp if he never got a therapist or smth, but I sincerely hope he did) and he didn’t feel like he had much of an impact on the lives of his friends in hs other than his heroics (esp after he lost his quirk)

So my guess is that he just coexisted with everyone, counted his blessings, and then let everyone go after they graduated. It wouldn’t surprise me if the only reason he and Katsuki are as comfortable as they are in the epilogue is bc Katsuki was the one making efforts to reach out to Izuku for the past eight years, but again that’s my projections ashajkajaka

Anyways SO when it comes to the point where Katsuki’s driving and tells Izuku “if you treat everyone like they’re special to you, then no one actually is” I was shook to my core because that’s how I’d been living my life (and I still was at that point) so when I saw a lot of people criticizing Izuku for his seemingly uncaring behavior in rejecting Katsuki’s vague agency proposal, I couldn’t help but feel empathy for my boy bc I prob would’ve said and done the exact same thing. I don’t think I would’ve understood the importance of such an ask, or the impact I would’ve had if I’d said no.

And further on, when Izuku looks at Uraraka, someone who was a dear friend of his in high school, and notices that they never talk anymore and grew apart (partially bc he let that happen), he hears Katsuki’s words in his head and realizes that he’s right, and that Uraraka is someone that is special to him, actually special to him, and that he wants to rebuild that connection and put work in to keep in touch.

But I don’t think that means that that’s the end.

I think Uraraka is just the beginning.

My theory (my hope) is that he’ll start to look around at the people in his life (or currently out of his life) and allow himself to actually be in their lives again, to purposefully insert himself back in. To reach out, to connect. He’ll start being more aware of how his life actually impacts others, and how his life has meaning outside of doing things just to help people.

(And maybe he’ll re-evaluate how much he actually cares about a certain someone and notice how much effort they actually put into their relationship and wonder if they’re really just a friend to him but that’s my shipper heart alskllaksk)

Anyways uh I guess I had been neglecting my ‘thinking about Izuku’ duties for a sec so now I’ve just word-vomited a small essay that’s probably mildly incomprehensible but the point is that I care and maybe someone else will too so if u got this far thanks for reading 🫡

[autisticayano]

yandere simulator redesign osana najimi

just like my ayano redesign i wanted to make an osana one cause i actually like her despite not liking the "tsundere" trope

once again bly me cause yk mouse and im sick and i was squinting dead hard at the screen doing this

i also have never actually drawn osana before this (literally i have only drawn ayano duh, taro, and kokona and saki once)

same uniform concept from the ayano one,, once again i think this uniform is super cutesy,,

you might see difference in bow placement but thats because its lower and the first button is yk unbuttoned due to the feeling of restriction i think osana would feel

she has braces :D

(notice how osana's line art is more messy and thinner because her feelings, while clear, are messy because taro doesnt get the message and her temper seems to lose itself quicker...yeah...)

also! in this i think that osana and raibaru have matching accessories duh but they wear each others color for the bows cause i just think thats cute!!

rewrite concept

in this i think that osana has ocd - her symptoms showing especially when she was younger. it was harder for osana to make friends because of this as she seemed "too disruptive" or "too angry" or "too much" of a person regardless if she acted on her compulsions in order to relieve herself from unwanted thoughts or if she stayed silent and resisted - she was outcasted to a small scale and stayed a loner.

however, one day in elementary school (3rd grade) a boy, who announced his was taro, came near her and started to talk to her. osana was surprised but continued to talk with him excitedly,, later that day they decided to walk home together and lo and behold they were practically neighbors!! the following days, osana was scared that taro would leave her especially after seeing how "weird" she was being over small acts but it never seemed bothered taro. from those days they became close friends and at one point each other's best friend. taro was one of the first people to understand osana and not judge her. the second was hanako - taro's sister.

taro introduced osana to hanako when osana was invited over for a sleepover. (one of many sleepovers) hanako didn't like osana at first (hanako didnt like a lot of people at first) because she was new and foreign to hanako. however, the first sight shyness disappeared when she saw osana's hair (imagine like mid-back length) and was "WOAH!! your hair is super pretty!!!" and bam. hanako, like taro, wasn't bothered by osana's compulsive acts. in fact none of the yamada family minded it. it made osana feel really happy.

taro and osana would follow the same routine from 3rd (4th for taro) grade to junior high, only difference is the switches in school. they have been the same school since then. when osana had to choose which highschool she wanted to attend taro mentioned it be really cool if they attended akademi together...akademi was the ONLY school that osana applied to because of that. when osana got her acceptance letter, both osana's family and taro's went out together for dinner. that night was the first time she consciously thought "i wouldn't spending the rest of our lives together." and that was the very first time her whole world flipped upside down.

osana was so scared she would lose taro once she began to realize she liked him. it terrified her so much that she actually started to push him away herself by becoming irritated and angry at him and whatnot. taro was, admittingly, confused by the change in demeanor, but still stuck by osana's side.

in osana's first year of akademi. she became friends with raibaru. similar to taro, raibaru noticed osana's subtle attempts to hide her compulsive acts but raibaru didn't mind, in fact raibaru followed osana when she needed to walk through the corridors five times to feel relief. she wanted to become osana's friend and they did. they clicked faster than anyone else. they became best friends actually. at the end of the 1st year they had matching accessories and bows and even some clothes.

osana still feels bad about being irritated at taro but she cant really help, she terrified and not even just terrified of rejection - she's terrified that her first real friend would hate her if she admitted her feelings.

notes:

osana is 5'1

she's 17 in the present

she wakes up at 5 am exactly every single day.

osana kept her hair long for taro like in canon but it was also stayed long because she felt like she might cut off too much to be "seen as pretty" impulsively. (she's still super pretty)

she and taro do NOT get to together in these concepts which might as well be my own au/rewrite of yansim. in the future, she does admit that she had liked taro but it's after everything and she already moved on by this point.

bisexual beam hit her

osana has three friends out of akademi from junior high that she still talks to but they all split up to different schools and one of them actually moved out of japan

she and kyuji did get together. they do not last. kyuji liked her because she reminded him of magical girl miyuki and as soon as osana didnt hide her compulsion and when she cut her hair, a lot of his feelings for her vanished. they broke up before the year ended

osana ends up with raibaru but not in highschool. in their adulthood they get together.

taro and osana grew distant but they still keep in contact. they just arent as close as they used to be. hanako and osana still talk quite a bit tho!

[a13x-128]

Chapter 1:

Who is Percy Jackson?

this really could be better and i promise that some of the later chapters ARE better but like...this is literally just what i wrote with a little bit of editing here and there soooo...yeah!

also if im not posting a chapter every week on here its cause im tryna focus on writing a new one for wattpad. So this will be the edited version (until i edit it on there as well) but the other one is currently longer.

the photos are for Asha btw...just cause i decided to do her instead!!

TWO SWORDS CLASH AGAINST EACH OTHER,

causing the noise to cover the whole arena. Two people, demigods, pressure each other in the hopes of winning against the other.

The swords had been upgraded since last time, no more woodern crappy training swords that didn't really feel right in their hands. Since they were older, they could use actual swords since now they were more trusted than before.

The black haired girl blocked an attack with her shield, going to swipe at the other girl's side with her sword.

The Y/h/c girl parries the attack, hitting the other with the flat of her sword, making her stumble backwards. As she continues on the attack. Trying to slash at her, only for her sword to be met with a sheild.

This continues for what feels like hours for the both of them: attacking, dodging, blocking. Just putting pressure on the other until one either gives up or gets knocked down.

"I think that's enough." A blonde girl leans against the wall of the arena.

"Annie!" The black haired girl, Asha, shouted in frustration, wanting the fight to continue to see who could actually best the other.

Though apparently today wasn't the day as Asha knew that the fight was going to be postponed...again.

Y/N gently tapped the tip of her sword, it turned smaller and black in colour as it now was a small, silver sword earring that she put in her ear. "And it was just getting good as well." She mumbled, mainly to herself while walking over to Annabeth. Her chest was heaving from the fight and she felt all sweaty from the simple length of it. Didn't help that it was particularly warm outside either.

"Getting good? You two are going to get each other killed some day by doing this." Annabeth grabbed the girl's wrist, dragging her towards Chiron and the wine god.

"It's just sparring. It's not like we're actually trying to hurt each other."

"Yeah, sparring that's starting to go to far."

Y/N rolled her eyes, it didn't go too far! Just now they were actually using their weapons instead of the crappy practice wood ones, who even wanted to use them for practice?!?

It took forever to actually get the time to actually train with each other. They were both busy or just could never get free time at the same time. So being interrupted now wasn't particularly ideal. They'd have to find some time later on now.

Even Lee had enough of seeing them at this point, which honestly wasn't surprising. Y/N was pretty accident prone. So she was sure everyone in the Apollo cabin was sick of hearing her name.

"Why are you dragging me?"

"There's someone I want you to meet. And I'm not dealing with the idiot myself."

The Y/h/c girl groaned, not wanting to really deal with another new camper. Annie said that all of them were going to be 'the one' and they never were!

Both of them just wanted a chance at actually getting out of here, seeing what the mortal world was like! And yet they were still stuck here together after begging Chiron to let them out on a quest with each other for practically years.

They had to wait a little while until Y/N could actually see Grover and the new kid walking towards them.

"What's his name?" She whispered over to Beth as the other girl leaned against the wall.

"Percy Jackson." Y/N nodded and honestly? She wouldn't have guessed that the kid would be able to single handedly kill the Minotaur. He was kind of scrawny, black hair and sea green eyes. She guessed that today wasn't his best from the state of his hair and the overall look on his face.

"Mr Brunner!" Percy cried while the centaur just smiled at him.

"Ah, good, Percy," he said. "Now we have four for pinochle."

Chiron offered him a seat next to Mr. D, who looked at him with blood shot eyes as if he'd been drinking all night.

"Oh I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now don't expect me to be glad to see you." Y/N was sure that the old god wasn't happy to see anyone except his wife when it was the winter solstice.

"Uh, thanks." The new camper answered a little awkwardly and slightly moved away from him, that was definitely the right choice for most of the campers.

Y/N zoned out, frowning and looking at Percy. How had he out of all people been able to fight and actually kill the Minotaur? He hadn't even been here for like a day! She was sure everyone had already heard of him as well, she had and everyone who walked by had been staring.

Actually she was sort of staring too. He looked a little nervous by it and clearly didn't like the sudden attention from literally everyone.

He sort of moved a little away from her as well, by the way she was staring, frowning at the sight and overall just felt...off to be around. Yeah, he didn't particularly want to be around her either.

"You drool when you sleep."

That snapped her back to reality and Annie took off running. "I've literally just finished sparring and she's making me run?!" Y/N mumbled to herself while taking off after her best friend.

"IM GOING TO FIND LUKE."

Y/n said with no argument from Annabeth.

she went into the Hermes cabin. Unfortunately enough, She had to stay here as well. From being a child of a minor god.

Unfortunately for the Hermes kids, they had absolutely no room in there and she didn't ever want to stay in there. It sounded horrible to have to stay in a cabin where the Hermes kids barely had enough room for themselves never mind everyone else.

Y/n was lucky to even get a bed to herself in that place.

The only good thing about that cabin was Luke.

He was nicer than most other campers, specifically the Stolls, and was literally the best swordsman the camp has seen in like forever! So in hermind he's pretty cool.

She had been stood with Luke and a few of his siblings, Y/n hadn't really been paying attention to whatever any of them were actually talking about whatsoever.

"Hey, Annie wants you." He said with a flick against her forehead which just made me frown, Luke just laughed.

"I knew that." I grumbled before going back out to Annabeth, having to step over campers, sleeping bags, random belongings and of course a bunch of messy stuff that probably was the Stolls doing.

Annie looked like she'd been reading most of the time. Which actually checked out, though she wasn't sure how she could actually read that much. As far as Y/n knew my best friend still couldn't read that well.

Beth nodded her head towards something, never mind someone. Specifically? Percy. He still looked as bad as he did before in all honesty. Though everyone did at their first day at camp, Y/n probably didn't look too much better.

From what she had been told, Percy had been attacked by a Fury, learned what Grover actually is, got attacked by the Minotaur and watched his mother die in front of him...and get to camp.

Why was one kid so eventful?

"...I really hope he's not the one." She sighed and Annabeth slightly chuckled at her annoyance of a boy that Y/n hasn't even talked to yet.

"Annabeth, Y/N," Chiron said, "I have masters' archery class at noon. Would you take Percy from here?"

"Yes sir."

Y/N just nodded.

"Cabin eleven," Chiron gestured towards the cabin as if it had room for another half-blood. Funnily enough it was already full, Im sure someone wanted Percy gone already.

"Make yourself at home."

Percy looked pretty unsure about the place as well, she guessed he already saw that it was packed with people and there wouldn't be a ton of room for him to stay.

I already knew how this was going to end up going, "I'll grab Luke."

That caught Annie's attention which was just gross, he was nineteen! And he was way more like their brother, so definitely gross.

Annabeth told Percy to go in and Y/n could practically hear the embarrassment radiating off him as he tripped.

"Regular or undermined?" Someone shouted from inside the cabin.

"Undetermined." Y/n replied back to just hear a cacophony of groaning from very annoyed campers that didn't want another random kid here.

she came over with Luke, almost tripping over something on the floor but somehow managed to keep my own balance. As soon as we came over, Y/n went to stand on the other side of Percy.

"It's not as bad as it looks, just...hope you don't have to stay long." She mumbled quietly to Percy who sort of smiled awkwardly at her.

"Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for, Welcome Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there."

"This is Luke." Annabeth introduced even though there was really no need. Her voice sounded slightly higher and more different, Y/n looked over at her and gagged.

She just rolled her eyes.

"He'll be your councillor for now." Y/n continued, only to get Percy to look over and question what she meant by for now.

"You're undetermined." Luke explained patiently, Y/n doubted that he actually understood what that meant though.

"They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're in here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers. Natural, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travellers."

Y/n felt a little bad for the kid, she felt the same when she first got here. Confused and no idea what was going on. Especially since he had little to nothing with him as well.

"How long will I stay here?" Percy asked.

"Good question," Luke responded. "Until you're determined."

"How long will that take?"

Everyone laughed.

"Come on, I'll show you the volleyball court."

"I've already seen it."

Annabeth looked over at Y/n and she sighed, grabbing his wrist and dragging him with her. "Just come on."

"JACKSON YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT."

Annabeth started.

"What?"

"Told you he's not the one." Annabeth seemed to actually agree with Y/N about that and Percy couldn't help but feel a little insulted..though he didn't know what that actually meant either.

"What's your problem? All I know is that I kill some bull guy-"

"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth was probably as angry as Percy was about this. After all, her and Y/N hadn't even got the chance to leave camp nevermind fight something like the Minotaur! "Do you know how many people at this camp wish they'd had your chance?"

"To get killed?"

"To fight the Minotaur, prove yourself to the gods, what do you think we train for?" Y/N continued.

Percy shook his head, Y/N felt like he was either stupid or just didn't belive that he actually fought the Minotaur.

"Look, if the thing I fought really was the Minotaur, the same one in the stories.."

"Yes." Both girls answered at the same time.

"Then there's only one."

"Yes."

"Then he died like a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth."

"Monsters can't die, they can be killed but can't die."

"Thanks that really clears it up."

Y/N sighed, she didn't feel like having to explain that monsters can't die to another kid.

"Monsters don't have souls, they get killed and take a while to reform, a life time if you're lucky but they're primal forces." Y/N just hoped the Minotaur wouldn't reform soon, she didn't want to exactly fight that one.

She zoned out...again.

Simply tapping her foot on the ground and messing with the rings on fingers as Annabeth and him talked about his father and what not.

Originally? She was in disbelief as well, didn't think her dad would be a greek god but look where she is now?

Technically Y/N was a little luckier than some others in the Hermes cabin, at least she was aware of her Fatter. Even if she didn't have her own cabin..

She didn't mind here anymore and well she also can't go to the mortal world anyway.

"Diagnosed with Dyslexia and ADHD probably." She butted in which got a surprised jump from Percy, Annie didn't seem surprised that she had been paying attention a little bit to their conversation.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He looked a little embarrassed.

"It's a sign. Letters float off the page right? That's cause your brain is hardwired for Ancient Greek, not english." She looked up from messing with her rings and Percy looked more confused than ever.

"You're impulsive, can't sit still in a classroom. That's battle reflexes, it'll keep you alive in an actual fight. As for your attention problems? You see too much, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortals." Annabeth continued.

"You both sound like...you've gone through the same thing."

"All demigods do, you wouldn't have survived your math teacher or the Minotaur. Gods, you wouldn't have survived having ambrosia." Plus he wouldn't have even made it into the camp in the first place.

Percy looked utterly clueless.

"It's the stuff we were giving toy to make you better. That stuff would've killed you instantly." Certainly wouldn't be nice that's for sure.

"Turns your blood to fire and bones to dust, sorry Percy but you're exactly like us, half-bloods."

Annabeth wanted to say more, maybe explain a little more about what's going on but..unfortunately she didn't get the chance.

"Well! A newbie!"

Clarisse La Rue.

Hopefully she wouldn't be too mean to Percy, she could only hope though.

"Clarisse." Y/N grumbled and glared at the girl who came over, she was one person who Y/N actively tried to stay clear of.

"Go polish your spear or something." Annabeth sighed, also not wanting to deal with the war gods daughter.

"Oh, sure miss princess. Just so I can run it through the both of you friday night!"

"Erre es KoraKas!" Y/N said which meant go to the crows, Percy had a feeling it worse insult than it actually sounded.

"You don't stand a chance."

"Oh, we'll pulverise you."

Annabeth introduced Percy to possibly the worst person to meet on your first day here, who wanted to deal with Clarisse?

"We got an initiation for ceremony for newbies, Percy."

"Percy, don't." Y/N knew this would only go back.

"Come on, I'll show you."

"Percy-"

"Stay out of this!" Clarisse bit back.

Y/N took a step back and Annabeth put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head to say to not get involved with it.

Percy suddenly felt like he should've done the exact same thing.

Both girls watched as he got dragged away, kicking and punching at Clarisse. Though unfortunately for him it had absolutely no effect on Clarisse.

ANNABETH AND Y/N HADNT BEEN SPARED.

They were both soaking wet even though they were both standing in the doorway rather than actually in the bathroom.

Y/N was only aware of one god who could do that and actually had a cabin here as well. Though maybe it would've been a little insane to suggest that Percy would be a son of the sea god.

Y/N could only hope that for his sake she was actually wrong for once.

"How did you-" Annabeth sounded as shocked as

Y/N felt.

"I don't know." Apparently Percy was just as shocked.

They walked outside and even though Y/N was just as soaked and annoyed with Percy as Clarisse was, she couldn't help but giggle at the sight of her sprawlled out on the mud, hair sticking to her face.

"You are dead, new boy. You are totally dead."

Y/N smirked, whispering over at Annabeth, "At least capture the flag is going to be entertaining."

Annie shoved her shoulder. Which prompted her to do the same thing back.

"You want to gargle toilet water again, Clarisse? Close your mouth."

Clarisse had to be forcibly dragged, throwing insults at all three of them.

Annabeth had been staring at Percy, thinking. Y/N wasn't going to let this kid go on any team but theirs, who wouldn't want him on their team?

"What?"

"I want you on my team for capture the flag." Sure they had the best swordsman but the kid who just made Clarisse soaked in toilet water? That was so cool.

Y/N laughed at the thought of it, Percy being on their team? At least it would serve some pretty great entertainment.

[mariska]

brief life update cus i am in a lot of pain and cant do much but try to rest; my surgery the other day was a success thank fuck and literally everyone at the hospital i was at (and had never been to before, i live on an Almost-Island Peninsula so there are a very limited number of full-on hospitals here and this one was ten billion times better than "the main hospital" of the region) was so so nice and comforting and caring, it blew my mind as someone who spent my entire teens in and out of the Other Hospital because it was the most like. Human. i have ever been treated in a hospital setting and i've really never experienced that sensation before. 🥺❤️‍🩹

the surgery itself was for Endometriosis exploration & diagnosis and as im sure it will be a surprise to Absolutely No One who has heard of or talked to me about my various awful medical issues befofe, yup!!! this bitch (moi) was FILLED with endo. my surgeon said there were especially two huge clumps of endo tissue that they were able to remove and the areas she mentioned them being stuck to are where some of my absolute worst abdominal pain has been for years and years and years and when i was waking up from the anesthesia and she told me that i did indeed have endometriosis i started tearing up and even though i could barely speak that early post-surgery i could not stop thanking her for her work and being able to give me that diagnosis after 17 straight years of immense period + abdominal related severe unbearable pain.

pros: those two clumps that im sure were at least the biggest cause of my pain getting so much worse the past year or two specifically are GONEEEE and even my very painful bloating i get daily that was so bad it made me look, like, 8 months pregnant from how swollen and irritated that whole area of my body was immediately visibly so much less There. its actually insane

cons: endometriosis is very much a chronic disease and it will always grow back or even hypothetically 'continue' growing if it's already latched itself to other areas of my body that were not my abdominal area operated on, which i would not at all be surprised to learn if it turned out it has spread to other areas of my body, it can grow literally anywhere so thats. gonna be in the back of my mind forever lmfao 😭

but for now at least. im still very much just. in Shock that not only did i finally get this diagnosis i've been in dire need of since i was 11 years old, but two major parts of it are gone and i'm actually feeling somewhat hopeful and optimistic for my future for the first time in a very long time. this is really Step 1 Of Many Related Or Semi-Related Pain Problems In Need Of Addressing but it was a big step for me to take and a terrifying concept as a person with PTSD, and in particular a lot of medical/healthcare related PTSD, to put in the hands of healthcare workers with all of the absolute nightmare worst case scenarios i've had to deal with throughout my life so far and i'm not gonna lie. i am incredibly proud of myself for pushing through my terror and taking a chance with a group of medical professionals who seemed genuinely kind and caring and good at their jobs and having that hunch turn out to be correct for once!!!

but yeah, now i have quite a bit of post-sirgery recovery time to get through and thats been the biggest challenge so far. thankfully my moms are always and have always been there for me and are taking care me of throughout all of this, and i do have some decent forms of medication pain relief, but man. it is very very painful for me and my body/brain's hypersensitivity to any sensation

[player1064]

Loved your Jamie Carragher character thesis statement post! It actually made me think of a prompt or short story if you are still doing them. A 5+1 story of Gary making Jamie contradict how he acts/personality. Maybe from the viewpoints of others and the +1 can be Gary defending Jamie personality/character. Again love your drabbles and stories!

im ngl i DID set out to do this as a 5+1 but I. ran out of steam a bit (bitches when their meds are out of stock etc). so instead have a 4+0 😅

---

Philip.

Phil has abandoned the boardroom and is wandering around Hotel Football in search of snacks when he comes upon a small kitchenette where Jamie is busy swearing at a kettle.

He hadn't realised Jamie was here too, he and the other lads have been stuck in a meeting with Gary for hours now and there'd been no mention of it, but it's not that surprising when he thinks about it.

"Alright, Carra?" he greets, and Jamie turns to him with a muttered fuck.

"Hi, Phil," he says with an exasperated sigh. "Your twat of a brother asked me to fetch him some tea, and –”

He gestures hopelessly at the counter behind him, which is in such a state it looks as though a small bomb has gone off.

"Oh," says Phil. "Tea is really difficult, to be fair. Can't you find one of the staff members to help you?"

"No, I –” Jamie runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "He asked me."  

Redders.

Jamie sees it moments before it happens, in excruciating slow motion – like when a gun goes off in films. Gary’s hovering around Carra, trying unsuccessfully to get his attention, and when he gives up and reaches to jostle Carra’s shoulder Jamie waits for the inevitable snap.

Except, Carra doesn’t snap. He doesn’t jerk away, he looks at Gary and he beams. If it was any other person Jamie could’ve sworn he was leaning in to the touch, because Gary’s hand stays in place even while they talk.

When they’re setting up to film, Gary shifts his chair closer to Carra’s so that their knees are touching, and Carra doesn’t roll his eyes or move away. When Carra tells a joke that’s got Gary doubled over with laughter, Gary spreads a hand between Carra’s shoulder blades and nothing happens.

The whole day is full of things like that, tiny casual touches which should be normal, which are normal for anyone other than Carra. Jamie, worried that he’s gone mad and misremembered a fundamental fact about Carra, even tries an experiment once or twice: he claps a hand on Carra’s back, or he throws an arm around his shoulders in a friendly side hug. Carra twitches at the contact every single time, a miniscule reaction honed out of years of needing to be polite, and he carefully shifts away from Jamie’s touch with a suspicious side-eye.

When they’re leaving the studio that evening to go to the pub, Gary slaps Carra’s bum as he walks through the doorway and all Carra does is grin.

Stevie.

“Who the fuck are you texting?”

“Huh?” Jamie blinks, looks up at Stevie over his glasses like he’d forgotten he was there. “Oh, just Gary.”

“Didn’t yous see ‘im earlier today?”

“Yeah, why?”

Stevie is lucky if he gets one text a month from Jamie, even luckier if he sees him in person more than twice a year. It’s never bothered him much, he knows what Jamie’s like, knows that anyone not sat directly in front of him is prone to being dismissed as a distraction. There aren’t really friends in Jamie’s world, just allies and enemies.

So he’s not really sure what to do with this version of Jamie, the one who leaves Gary Neville’s company (and Gary Neville, really?) only to immediately open his phone and start texting Gary Neville.

Every time his phone pings he opens it up and does a stupid little snicker at whatever Gary’s sent him, never mind that he’s meant to be mid-conversation with Stevie. Every bloody anecdote seems to start with ‘so me and Gary were –’, or ‘Gary was saying –’. Even the stories that aren’t about work – as far as Stevie can figure out, there’s rarely a moment that Jamie’s not with Gary, or talking to Gary, or thinking about Gary.

It's weird. It’s almost like how he used to be about football.

Micah.

Micah can’t believe what he’s seeing. It’s time for Sky’s yearly ‘film Neville and Carragher making fools of themselves racing each other in a thinly-veiled attempt to rack up more views’, and Jamie is losing.

Jamie’s a runner, he runs. Gary does fuck all cardio beyond the occasional group fitness class, he should not be a full pace ahead of Jamie at the halfway point, and yet. Gary can’t seem to believe it either, because when he glances back at Jamie he grins and picks up his pace with a gleeful little laugh.

Jamie rolls his eyes for the sake of the cameras, but there’s a moment where Micah could’ve sworn he saw him skip, like he was deliberately trying to slow himself down. Which is impossible, because Jamie would happily out-sprint a child if someone told him it was a competition.

And yet.

When Gary wins he grabs onto Jamie’s arm to support himself while his whole body shakes with laughter, squawking out insults every time he’s able to catch his breath. Jamie laughs along, makes up some poor excuse about his hamstring going, but when he catches Micah’s eye he winks as if they’re both in on the same joke.

[ishika-star]

spoilers for ava 11

Ig im putting my thoughts in the most incoherent way possible

I got to watch it with my brother :D except i later found out that he knew NOTHING about ava (he only watched avm) so we went on ava binge watching. He’s favorite is…Chosen I think????? idk but that was fun

Moving on to the actual ep, the animation was soooo good. I know sooo surprising but seriously when i saw ava 1 reanimated my jaw dropped. It was just so cool seeing the video that kickstarted the entire series in the new 3D animation. And the little watercolor scenes xkjsianeidnsoendks

Mitsi was also awesome to see. I really don’t want to add on to the negativity but i was a little disappointed by her death (also by the lack of role for the shepred. Justice for Shepherd and Silly Steve). Not surprised (like what that one post said, ava and avm is NOT passing the bechdel test 💀), but still. But i’m really glad to see she wasn’t just there to kick off victims revenge and actually left a huge impact on victim and rocket corp as a whole. She was also the CEO which was awesome omg i’m so happy about that. I might draw some doodles of her in a suit and stuff bc wow. If she’s going to die I hope she get ayano tateyama-ed and continues to haunt the narrative ❤️

Also

PURPLE?????? I remember seeing the two lies one truth thing in the newsletter and when i read the purples origin part i was like “yeah right. They’re just trying to hype us up”. How wrong i was 💀and ofc Navy cannot be on screen without being a complete asshole. The entire website is being blown up by godlike figures and your ditching your family. wtf

Talking about godlike figures (awesome transition), Chosen!

(i totally have to redraw this scene bc this is fire pun intended)

The way i screamed when i saw that tco killed Mitsi omg that permanently changed my brain chemistry. And honestly this explains soooo much like why victim was beating him up, not TSC. I saw that a lot of people felt conflicted about TCO or trying to come up with ways to defend him and honestly, i don’t really get why? no offense of course, i understand how seeing your favorite as a murderer might change some things but for me, it didn’t really change my perspective on tco much. Like we knew he blew up websites and was kinda implied to have hurt a lot of people, now we just got to see it firsthand. I always thought of him as kinda morally gray anyways like. Even if you’re good now, if you literally spend the first years of your life free as a cyberterrorist your moral compass probably isn’t really that strong. Anyways i’m liking the more nuanced TCO who might not completely regret his actions, he might actually be becoming one of my faves now

(also their little high five bc that was cute. TDL is kinda back wooooo. Also TCO kinda hesitating?)

Me when the cycle starts cycling. Oughhhh i love the whole victim and abuser thing that’s going on here. Noogai turning TCO and victim into victims, then TCO becoming the oppressor and ruining victims life again after he finally moved on. And then victim with his kinda sorta victim complex and never moving on from his past. And now victim becomes the oppressor by torturing TCO like. It’s all coming full circle. I love how this series has consequences for everyone’s actions. Even the smallest details or events can snowball into something major. Honestly i dont even know if that was comprehensible but whatever. The Cycle™️ honorable mention of victim being stuck in the cycle of being creating, tortured, and dying for a year

On that note, victim was there for a year? That means that TCO and victim was on the same computer for a year and never noticed ig. victim was brought whenever noogai felt on it and only got to exist for a few minutes at a time (im guessing???) and TCO was stuck as an ad blocker so. I saw some people said that TCO might have been created after victim left but I like the thought that they lived on the computer at the same time. Also i saw someone say that this might be how TCO knew about the outernet wifi portal and i like that theory.

On a completely unrelated note, i was NOT expecting victim to be hallucinating cursors and might have PTSD(?????) (honestly idk i don’t know enough about ptsd to make the claim). And him moving on thanks to Mitsi was so sweet ❤️ actually the whole farm village was so nice man if it only stayed that way. Also honorable mentions of my new favorite background character (other than corn dog guy)

THE TINY ONE🔥🔥🔥 TUMBLR PLEASE STOP CROPPING MY SCREENSHOTS

IM TOTALLY DRAWING THIS LITTLE GUY AND TCO POSING THEY SHOULD BE BESTIES

AND

THIS. OMG THIS LITERALLY CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE ON TCO JSNDOANSOWNSISNSK THE ANGEL OF DEATH ARE YOU KIDDING ME. MORE RELIGIOUS SYMBOLISM I LOVE RELIGIOUS SYMBOLISM AHHHHHHHHHHH

anyways i think those are my thoughts. I probably have more but this is what i remember. in conclusion: I am soooo normal about this ep. Yep i will totally not be talking about this for the next month straight

[crows-murder]

2024 writing roundup

thanks for the tag @bobtheacorn !! 💜

words posted:

127, 796!! which is a little pleasantly surprising to me because i felt like i wrote so much less this year lol

but a win is a win!!! that's my second highest year!!!!

additional words written:

*kicks all my unfinished wips under the rug* lets not focus on that lol

fandoms:

- rise of the tmnt

- batman

- psych

- macgyver (2016)

- lord of the rings: rings of power

highest kudos + highest hit one-shot:

doubt comes in and kills the light for both! 2, 567 hits and 337 kudos!!

new things I tried:

writing-wise i mostly stuck to what I know and generally like (whump and some flavor of hurt/comfort). i did write a fic in a slightly different, more experimental style since the character was drugged to the gills and hallucinating, but i don't know how well that turned out lol

fic I spent the most time on:

this year? i'm a little ashamed to say this title doesn't go to alll the ashes in my wake, my largest writing project in years, but a fic I HAVEN'T EVEN POSTED YET

its a tales of the tmnt fic I've been working on since the show came out and kind of my second brain child (sorry, number one spot still belongs to ataimw, my baby. my beloved <33)

its a very ambitious project bc its essentially me giving these boys a farmhouse arc, which means adding in shredder, AND ALSO CASEY!!! i created a casey for this show, specifically for this fic, and i actually love her so much.

it's been so much fun plotting out this fic and i've written a whole lot for it (and yet i still haven't finished writing the first chapter lmfao)

i kinda had to step back at some point bc i was genuinely tweaking out anytime i thought about it. i genuinely stated going a little crazy ahdjfkkf. and also the hyperfixation shifted a little, but im determined to post at least the first chapter sometime this year!!

fic i spent the least time on:

For sure paris brest + catacombs. It's 1k, my shortest fic in a long while and I wrote it in like an hour or so, barely edited it before sending it off into the void.

favorite thing i wrote:

a hard question to answer, as always, but i think i'm gonna go with it's the fear not the ghost (that keeps me haunted) bc i always love writing steph. she's my fav girl ever <33. and this fic is generally very dear to me. its actually a pretty old wip, from 2022 or something, that i never actually got to finish, but it was one of my favorite dc fics and i wanted to post it to motivate me to actually go and finish it so!! here's hoping for chapter 2 in 2025!!

favorite thing(s) i read:

FUCK YEAH FIC REC TIME

I'll Be Right There by Smuffly is probably my favorite psych fic i read. it is SO good and really well written. had me invested the WHOLE TIME and i even read it two more times anfkfkfk. i absolutely love shawn's characterization as well as all the other side characters, it felt like it could've straight up come out of the show. the fic was really well-paced and the mystery and intrigue had me HOOKED.

i wonder if your therapist knows everything about me by paperclipbitch is a queen's gambit modern au. I recently rewatched the queens gambit and immediately went on ao3 to read fics. I would sell my left kidney to get the second chapter. I loved their fake marriage au as well, their writing is always sooooo *chefskiss*

More recently: Travelling Incognito by roseveare. its an fma fic I definitely wouldn't have found without my good friend @sassydefendorflower (who has been witnessing my descent into insanity as i watch fma) recommending their stuff. i, personally, am a BIG fan of outsider pov and this one is genuinely so so good. i also really like their other fma fics, their writing style is so wonderful and i love the way they write ed.

writing goals for 2025:

finishing all the ashes in my wake is honestly my biggest goal for this year. motivation kind of died a little bit, and also life got insanely busy for me, but it should calm down a little and i hope i'll have more time to write!! i really haven't had a lot of time to spare for my hobbies like writing and reading and i've been really missing it, so i'm going to make an active effort to write more as well!! i really miss it

another goal is to finally get to 100 works on ao3! i'm currently at 92, and i really think this year will be it 💪

also, and this is something i doubt i'll achieve in only one year, but i'm at about 500k words and i'm aiming for 1 million 🤞

new works:

so many!! i'm working on a prequel series for fmab centered around ed and becoming hero of the people. i also have a more introspective fic in the works focusing on the tma-esque horror of the fact thst ed and ling straight up got eaten and stuck in an endless void full of blood water. fun time!!

i also have another big project lined up, the totmnt farmhouse arc fic i mentioned previously!

tagging @sassydefendorflower @goldenraeofsun @aeligsido @witchofthemoss @pickledcarrotsandradish @a-canceled-stamp @cuephrase <333

[wheelercore]

Thinking about the popular anti-christ movies and the names of the mothers involved. With all the mentions of the "spawn of satan" in st im surprised that The Devils Advocate is the only movie on the inspo board and not Rosemarys Baby or The Omen. But The Changeling isnt on the inspo board either and the Creel home is FULL of references to it.

I think the Changeling plays into the concept of the anti christ in The Omen very well, and there might have been a Rosemarys Baby reference in The Changeling as well but its a bit of a stretch. Both The Changeling and The Omen tell a story that starts with two boys being switched- one is an orphan ("Edward"?) and one is a boy born to a "normal" family (Henry?). In the Omen, the orphan boy is the Antichrist, the spawn of satan (read that with Victors voice). The Changeling doesn't have those sort of antichrist connotations but i do think this possible reference to Rosemarys Baby is interesting:

(both find a secret passage to secret room in their new home behind shelves leading them towards the child they are trying to find)

All this switching talk makes me think of Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) which directly references switching lives/places with someone else... which is an interesting choice of song for s4

But also the concept of children not being born evil and that the caretakers of the children should look in the mirror at themselves is very strong in ST. Its also something that stuck in the back of my mind while watching The Omen, how this little 5 year old boy is hated and looked down upon by his caretakers while just... acting like a emotionally distressed 5 year old boy ("she always hated me"). I understand with the context he is the AntiChrist(tm) but st always subverts.

Regardless, I find it very interesting the name of the mothers on these movies and possible references in ST:

In The Devils Advocate, there is Alice Lomax, who slept with John Milton (Satan) once as a young girl and had Kevin Lomax (the son of Satan). She is a very christian woman.

In the Indianapolis Gazette, Edward's mother's name is Alice.

The funny thing is that the antichrist isnt Kevin in this movie but Kevin's prospective son that Milton wanted him to have with his half sister (🤮).

In The Omen, Damien's (lil antichrist kid) mother was a jackal buried under the name Maria Scianna, which translates to Mary of the Shadows, which makes sense given the whole "dark version of the virgin mary" thing going on here. Similar to Rosemary Woodhouse in Rosemary's Baby and Mary-Ann (Kevin's wife), who had a shitton of RB references attatched to her.

Rosemary Woodhouse brings me to Robin Rose Weaver and Nancy Ruth Walker, both having the exact same intials as RB, with Robins hair actually styled to look like a combination of s2/3 Karen and Virginia (Karens bangs and Virginias bob) with the charactersitic pink-white-blue color scheme of female conformity mostly associated with mothers

With Robyn even saying that shes looks like shes coming from an Easter brunch, which again more Christian mom subtext. Not only that but Christian mom subtext visiting a psychiatric hospital re: Virginia in the show planning to have Henry sent away to Brenner, Karen promising to not let Mike go at the end of s4, but also Billys mom with the big rose on her shirt abandoning him.

Which is a common theme amongst some of the movies above- mothers rejecting their son, upon finding out that they are "evil". The final lines of Rosemarys Baby:

You're trying to get me to be his mother

Also The Omen:

(therapist talking about Kathy, Damien's adoptive mother who doesn't know that he's not actually her biological son)

Which, I know I've mentioned this a gazillion times, but why does the rose-y urn that has been in the Wheeler home suddenly change during the earthquake in s4? Why is the Wheeler home full of references/callbacks to the stuff in the Creel home in Henrys unreliable memories, which is seemingly different to when the gang actually visit it in the show (different wallpaper, missing doorway, etc)?

[sluttypatrickstar]

i have been volunteering in a secondhand bookshop for almost a year, and in this time, i have not been collecting any data at all but i do have some Vaguely Recollected Observations. i present to you all: books i am sick of seeing (and other stories)

any crime or thriller novel. any and all of them. i loathe crime and thriller and for no actual reason other than that we have so, so many crime/thriller books. there are always too many. we can build a tower out of all the books we have. we can make entire one-author displays out of certain crime authors.

particular crime books of note: the thursday murder club by richard osman, we always have that; the millennium trilogy by stieg larsson, we have like 5+ copies of the whole trilogy

there are always at least 4 eleanor oliphants in the bookshop at any given time

we get a lot of jeremy clarkson books. these seem to stay in the back forever, because nobody ever seems to shelve them, and i think this is very funny and based

i only ever see 2 different mark haddon books, but based on the frequency with which we get those two alone, i would like him to never write another book again thanks

no reader is reading the reader (it gets donated a lot)

NOBODY DONATES SCI FI

on the rare occasion that somebody does donate sci-fi, they always donate an absolutely massive collection. we still haven't shifted our massive collection of classic star trek novels. if these weren't on the shelf i think it would be empty

nobody buys romance, but everybody donates it

What Are These Vague Historical Looking Books About Girls And What Genre Are They? im obsessed with how little i know about the shipyard girls and yet they are always with us

sometimes you think a book is too weird to be sold. this is never true

when no-one else is looking, i toss scott adams books into the recycling. im not supposed to do this, our personal feelings about some books/authors aren't supposed to get in the way of things and usually books by People I Hate don't get sold anyway, but im not giving the dilbert guy a chance

fantasy is close to sci-fi in being a genre we Struggle to get donations for, but we have so much george rr martin that it keeps the shelves pretty full. thanks george!

some volunteers do not know the difference between young adult and children's

i cannot distinguish sometimes between general fantasy and young adult fantasy. i am always DMing people being like, is this YA?? do you know?? ?help

we never get enough chuck palahniuk

one time we got like 16 signed val mcdermid books and all of them were dedicated to mary and i don't know if mary died or if she had a breakup with val mcdermid's books

you can tell a lot about a person from the books being donated. sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad (especially when there's a lot of self-help books on a specific subject, i hope they got the help they needed), but a lot of the time it's fascinating

as per the above, you can never tell based on appearance what kind of books somebody is about to donate to you. it is always a surprise

i hate it when we have a whole series and somebody buys book 1 because then we're stuck with like. books 2-5 forevermore :(

that one time someone donated their entire massive full metal alchemist manga collection except it was missing volume 3

you can tell what books were either award-winning or popular based on what books you see the most of

WE'VE ONLY EVER HAD ONE COPY OF SPARE BY PRINCE HARRY CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT???

[g1ngerbeer]

percy is a stupid ridiculous nerd who thinks he's SOoO cool but in reality he runs around and gets his hand stuck in his own inventions and nearly gets blown up by running through fire with gunpowder in his pockets and has a pompous-ass name with 14 fucking syllables. i love him sm.

finished season 2 btw. it was fabulous how all the other characters got their issues delved into but also funny how its reading very much "here's a trauma episode for keyleth and here's an episode for the twins and here's an episode for grog and here's one for percy- actually wait you're really fucked up you need an entire season"

do you know what cr youtube episodes correspond with the show plot? I know that the first several aren't show related bc dnd copyright, but is there a confirmed period for s1/2?

~ percy anon

(thanks for letting me chat w/ u)

percival fredrickwhatever the fuck de rolo iii is so funny. hes my favorite pathetic little loserguy. now that he is (kind of) free from the tragic backstory demons he gets to be goofier :] builds an actual mousetrap out of forks and then sets it off on his own hand ... gives his ridiculous fancy coat to the girl he likes then tries to pretend hes not freezing his ass off ... he does NOT act like a guy with 16 wis. loser. and yeah honestly with the amount of gunpowder he has on him at all times im surprised he hasnt exploded yet. what a freak. what an absolute loser. nerd. i love how they do let him be cool with his tragic backstory and really good aesthetic and swagful competence at violence and murder. and yet he is still silly. and dumb <3 my little guy. bully him more its what taliesin would want

his name is a running joke in the campaign btw he'll introduce himself with all 17 syllables of it and at least two other people will immediately follow it up with "you can call him percy"

also WOW you got through this show fast. congratulations! and welcome to the eternal waiting-on-s3 trenches </3

actually episodes 1-2 of tlovm are a very loose adaptation of some of the pre-stream content (since they didn't start streaming until several years into the actual campaign)! they've got a summary video for all of the pre-stream stuff called the story of vox machina which has some really pretty illustrations. there's also "vox machina: origins" which is an ongoing series of comics adapting pre-stream vox machina. the briarwoods arc (tlovm season 1) corresponds to campaign episodes 24-36. they get the invitation to the feast with the briarwoods at the end of 23 though and it's all set up in 14 iirc. i'm not entirely sure of tlovm season 2 content since i actually only just started on campaign chroma conclave, but according to the wiki that whole arc would be episodes 39-83. although tlovm definitely hasn't gotten to campaign episode 69. so i think they're only halfway through that. the children yearn for season 3

(and yeah ofc np!!! its very nice to have somebody to yell about percy with sldkgjsljglsk)

[olberic]

ranking books ive read in 2023:

i actually read this year!!! so im ranking books (and their series) too :-) no gifs for this one because. yknow. theyre books. also im not including manga bc ive only read one this year and its dunmeshi and it would take first place. easy as.

6. the guncle (steven rowley, 2021)

brief summary: the book is about a man who lost his partner some years back, and is now known as the “guncle” (gay uncle) to his niece and nephew, who he takes care of for a few weeks while their mother is on vacation.

i was gifted this book as a joke gift last year, as the title’s like a syllable off from an in-joke in my friend group, but i decided to give it a read anyway. its the first modern, non-fantasy, non-scifi story ive read/watched/played in YEARS. not a whole lot stuck with me, as it’s simply not my genre of story, but it was very sweet.

5. the worst journey in the world (apsley cherry-garrard, 1924)

brief summary: an account written by cherry-garrard 11 years after his return from scott’s antarctic expedition. the author was primarily involved in the months-long task of retrieving emperor penguin eggs for study, and the journey to and from this point are what he calls the worst journey in the world.

ive discovered this year that antarctica fascinates me. everything about it from its landscapes to ecology to how to survive there is incredible to me. i decided to pick up the cherry-garrard book as a first-hand account of it, and its truly worth it to learn from someone who was there back in 1911 what it was actually like (without being focused on the race to the south pole). cherry-garrard has a very interesting writing style that really helps to flesh out what the experience was like, and the sheer amount of first hand sources he took from his fellow expedition members gives it a really rounded view. like anything from back then theres a few things that aged super poorly, but as a source of information i really enjoyed it.

4. project hail mary (andy weir, 2021)

brief summary: a man wakes up on a spaceship with no memory of how he got there, but with the ship failing around him.

my dad read this book in 2 days (unheard of for him) and immediately handed me his copy. i read it in a day. the author’s writing style is very entertaining, and while it’s a bit too quippy for my tastes, the actual story and how its paced had me glued to it. great use of real-world physics in a scifi story, which is what really stood out to me.

3. the priory of the orange tree (samantha shannon, 2019)

brief summary: on one half of the world, a spy-turned-lady in waiting gets close with the queen who’s the descendant of the one who sealed away the dragons centuries ago. on the other half of the world, a young woman tries to become selected to become a dragon-rider.

i learned after reading this book that apparently its one of those booktok ones… i picked it up on a whim last year when the cover caught my attention, and decided to read it while i was on a work trip earlier this year. i really enjoyed it! there were a lot of twists and turns in the story, but none of them felt like they were there just to surprise you. the POV characters had such different views about a lot of things that it was interesting to piece together the real story despite their biases. the romance was nicely developed, and the ending of the book felt natural and satisfying. all i can really ask for in a book of this size

2. the wax and wayne series (brandon sanderson, 2011-2022)

brief summary: (spoilers for the mistborn series) this four-book series takes place over a century from the end of the mistborn series. the magic system, allomancy, exists in tandem with the industrial age. the main character is a lawman from the equivalent of the wild west who’s returned to lead his family house in the city after his uncle’s death, and has to navigate new social norms with how much he doesnt want to be here.

the magic and industrial fusion of this series is amazing. sanderson has always been meticulous about creating and maintaining the rules of his magic systems, and allomancy is incredibly well done. the whole “wild west lawman moves to the city” story isnt something i’ve ever loved, but these books do a decent job of it, and it comes across as more anti-nobility than just colonialist. the mysteries in this series are attention-grabbing, and the supporting characters get good development too (even if it takes a few books for it to pay off). im doing a character-specific shoutout to steris, who i am so very fond of despite how underrated she is in the first few books.

1. the mistborn trilogy (brandon sanderson, 2006-2008)

brief summary: the world is divided into the elite class that can use allomancy, and the skaa, an enslaved class which can not. the main character finds out she’s one of two known skaa who are considered mistborn — people who can use all allomantic powers, instead of just one. she gets dragged into a resistance cell planning to take down the leader of the [NAME], the all-powerful lord emperor, despite their low, low odds of success.

i just love brandon sanderson’s work, but man this series is incredible. its fascinating to see the main character develop along with the story. she makes mistakes and shes deeply flawed and doesnt know herself at times but the impact she has on the world and the way the world changes her in return are just so so well written. the allomancy system is so well developed, as is sanderson’s modus operandi, and it’s so thrillingly used that it feels like im practically there. incredibly immersive. the twists and the lore reveals always fit perfectly into place while still surprising me. the world of scadriel is detailed and so easily pictured despite its bleakness, and as things change in the world through the series its difficult to look away from. 10/10

[againstme]

yet again got no response from my friends when i posted this in my server, i think they just have the channel that i posted this in muted at this point. it wouldn’t surprise me. it’s just crickets, which sucks, because i’m having a hard time discerning if things that happened are just my warped perception or if they actually happened.

i feel insane. i feel like everything is fake and isn’t a big deal and that i’ve just been lying and overreacting for years, that nothing actually happened, and that i’m running a long con. that my mom’s friends were right, im a problem child, im trying to get attention, nothing happened, and everything is normal.

i don’t know what reality is. i don’t know if anything has been real. have things been fake since middle school? am i just lying to myself? just trying to get something out of people? i don’t know what’s real. what if this is all fake? what if i’ve stuck myself into a ball of yarn full of lies, and that i’m tangled in it and can’t get out? a cage of my own design? a boy who cried wolf?

what if i’ve been wrong. what if i’ve been lying to myself this whole time, spinning a narrative for myself to make me feel better. did i just do this to myself? is there even a point to me being in treatment, if everything is actually just fake? i don’t know what reality is. i don’t know if i’ve been telling myself things to make myself feel better, that i’m just avoiding the truth: that i’m the issue, i’m the problem, that i’m just sensitive, and this is all just my warped perception of what has actually happened, and that nothing was wrong in the first place?

i don’t know if i can trust myself or my own memories or my own thoughts. what if i’ve just been going along with this because it makes me feel better and doesn’t paint me as the problem? and that i’ve just been avoiding holding myself accountable for my own actions, for being a bad kid, for lashing out, for talking back, for being disrespectful, not doing well enough in school, not trying hard enough. that i’m just making a mountain out of a molehill?

i don’t know what’s real anymore.

[harukirai]

Wow, I didn't know that about Terra! I'm surprised they were so upfront about that! Maybe her girlfriend was supposed to be Daryl, or they were going to make Locke into a woman who was going to be her girlfriend, kind of like Terra was originally supposed to be a male character. It seems like the idea was reworked for Fang and Vanille's relationship in XIII. (Also Lightning seems like a lesbian.) Thanks for the reply, I'm so pleased!

Also had a similar thought, but for the love of god the only optional/implied- scrapped girlfriend i found is celes(in that one time terra played with the thought of falling in love and flirt with celes only to reject the idea of love) which is with the other guy in the end, im replaying it in english its my next game after finishing 5(which i dont have much of left of).also yeah it feels like the scrapped concept was rewritten into 13! Thats why i was so happy with the inclusion(and yeah i restarted playing 13 in english for the first time and lightning does sound kimda gay, which id preffer than the hope implication that this game have for some reason in jp. Like i love hope, he grew to be a fine man only to be put back into a child in lightning returns which for the love of god i cant stand, let the kid grow, have his relationship with lightning be maternal& non romantic please my personal headcanon is that lightning is a mother figure to hope and hope brings her softer sides, as in what babies, kitten and puppies bring out of pple and for some reason pple really do ship them and im livid. Pretty sure there's no official love interest for claire cause in the toriyama's eyes she is his wife, no man can have her thats why the only pple she is soft for is serah and hope is no threat for Toriyama)

Also im stuck in the sahz vanille segment in the forest when you change weather i hate the bosses idk why but my adult brain is somehow worse in the game then i was before(like dont get me wrong i did get stuck allot but usually in the summon fights or like later game fights idk if the xbox version is bugging on me but im seriously stuck and thats what sparked my replay of the series )

(played it on pc before so idk what i did or is the steam version easier but i wanna get to fang already and im stuck even though i looked at tutorials ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

*also just jumped to xiii-2 to replay that one on english as well(the whole xiii trilogy i experienced back in the day in japanese i think my original version was on ps3, but i lent most of my collection when my first ps3 died so ill get that back only when my cousin will visit next)

So im cringing at some of the differences there too. But on funny note i think its hilarious that vanille and fang had an Australian accent, cause in japanese its okinawan i think and the implication are hilarious. Especially on fang it sounds just 100% like she had a huge lesbian vibe in japanese as well and text wise more so but i cant her va in english did such a great job im in tears like most of the cast sounds good in the first game but the 2nd in english 8s evan whackier than the jp and havent gotten to lightning returns yet but i cant wait to see that one dog scene in english, but yeah sorry for gushing i really love thise games and its hard to find pple who played them let alone acknowledge the gays in the games especially in the western sides of the internet (like besidesa handful of actual queer players who actually got far enough in the games & few dudes who just love vannile and fang cause they are fetishizing the lesbians & ignoring the whole lot of representation the games gave us through the years- which is the problem with subtleity cause like in ffvx it was straight out changed in localization cause oh no the guys will be pissed if manly-man macho m'gee over here is fancying the glasses twink 'god forbid' ತ⁠_⁠ತ)

I just really love those game and dont get me wrong in not looking at it in queer centric goggles all the time or thats all i wanna talk about but when i finally find pple to talk about the games with usually after a while when the subject comes and im gushing about how i love fang & vanille /gladio& ignis or even now with 16's terredion pple outside of the very small queer internet bubble is usually get all pissy about it and bitter(which is shocking to happen now in 2023 but its more centered around the 'im not homophobe but not everything is about that) when dude chill all i was talking about is that hey thats the 3rd gay dragoon in a row. (Ignis is kinda a dragoon too, since his moveset with lance equipped is very similar to Arenea)

But yeah not the point so imagin my surprise actually talking about ffxiii queer reps and suddenly most ofy notes is from xiii focused blogs i was sure long dead/new ones ive never seen before.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

my whole life ive given up when things started to look too hard.

maybe i was being protected by my parents, who only wanted a life that was comfortable for us after a lifetime of struggle, survival, and suffering.

but now i look back and wonder how many dreams i could have made a reality had i simply said "yes" more than i'd said "no".

what if i had done the arts degree instead?

what if i had pursued sports in school?

what if i had pushed myself and done a medical degree? maths? physics? engineering?

because i loved marine biology, and the environment, and i believed i could make a difference, and i still do. im just tired. im broken. im worn out. it was hard enough making it through 5 years of university, a bachelors and honours degree all while constantly feeling like an imposter who could never really do it, not in the real world. and alas, here i am, two expensive pieces of paper, and unemployed and so very sad, because my dreams disintegrated and i stopped believing in myself.

what do you hope to gain from being alone?

nothing, i suppose. a magical solution to all my problems.

its like im in a prison of my own making. because i know my friends are the ones who want to, who should be lifting me up out of this place. but i refuse to let them see how stubborn and flawed i truly am. which right now, is so palpable and disgusting and shameful and terrifying, because im not meant to still be like this. no one was meant to see me like this. and i know theyre angry with me, and theyre disappointed and they also forgive me, and i cant face them because the guilt of knowing they forgave me when they shouldnt, and i wouldnt have, would eat me up, is eating me up. and im so very ashamed, because im a grown woman and i should be better than this, should know better than this, but i simply do not, and its so fucking frustrating and visceral and disgusting - all these emotions that i cant release that are destroying me like a disease.

it all feels so complex and also so simple. its a paradox that makes me go in circles and brings me immense confusion, shame, frustration, and anger. i wish it were more simple, that i were more simple. maybe i am on the spectrum. would knowing that ever even help me? i will be so fucking angry if all of this is because of that dumb cunt cockroach leaving his nasty energy imprinted on me. i rebuke i rebuke i rebuke and i send it back, back,, back with interest.

i need new. i need distraction. i need new stories to write in my new chapters. i need new inspiration. i need fun and adventure but i also need it to be safe and contained and peaceful and predictable and purely for me and my growth and to facilitate my journey back to ME. does this make sense? does any of this make sense, and does any of this need to go in the bin? because i know im a mess and im wrong a lot lately. im very wrong. because im hurt and pointing fingers and making excuses because its hard and scary to take accountability for the massive ways i am failing as an adult human woman lately. does taking accountability even mean anything to me these days? cause im so fucking self aware. im deafeningly, blindingly self aware - im just stuck and unchanging. its almost worse. to see and know how much i can and need to change and to just be frozen in place to it. stubborn. i dont want to purely because i know i should and im expected to and i want to stand my ground and go against the grain.

okay, if i dont want to do it their way, how can i do it My way?

exactly like this, i suppose. writing it all down. just being ruthless and unfiltered and stupid and nonsensical until it suddenly makes sense again. i need to reconnect with my inner child. i always do and i never actually do it. that poor girl is all alone in the world, no wonder shes angry and hurt and scared and sensitive. she keeps on being stood on and shes so surprised when someone actually reaches a hand out and tries to help her up... she slaps their hand away. she hides away in the corner. she thinks she can find her own way out on her own, because taking hold of that hand might mean it slaps her in the face later down the line.

im not perfect and no one is. and im sorry for ever expecting and holding people to an expectation that they could be. ive carried so much shame for that for years now. i dont know if i could ever let it go. i feel so much guilt for the friendships and connections lost to my pride. it weighs on me everyday. it is not serving me at all.

my fear of saying no has left me with many open ended, unfinished conversations, all weighing on me indefinitely. and i am sorry. and i am so sorry that the pressure of making it right makes me run even longer. and that expectation that people will wait for me; it cuts deep when the truth is no one will. no one wants to wait for the person that left them behind. so yeah

thats all i can do for today.

[vulpiximisa]

im too old for this but ok

I wasn't sure if I was going to write a whole length review of the series since I pretty much blew through it in a span of two days. Which means that I didn’t care enough for it to linger but at the same time, means that the content was good/interesting enough for me to want to consume it immediately.

Came in for seiyuu reasons, didn’t necessarily leave with anything I didn’t expect, but I got what I wanted I guess. 

First off to say I didn’t do too much research on this aside from the two seiyuu that I came in for. Saw some glimpses that it’s based off a game series, which are usually hit or misses. 

From the get go, I was pretty impressed by the quality of the art. I’m not sure if I mean animation as well, but I guess I’m just astounded by the fact that there are two tones in the shading. I can’t hate the CG monsters too much because the humans look good where they are. 

Man, I know I’m not the target audience for this show, this series, but I can’t help laughing at how chunnibyou it is. I mean, the fact that everything is taken so seriously, that wielding giant sword guns is supposed to be cool, we got a high commanding woman with a boob window and a lady jumping into battle with a giant gattling gun dressed like she has to make it to a formal party afterwards. Don’t get me started on Alisa. 

Okay I didn’t mean to jump into the male gaze fanservice part first, I wanted to start with how “killing monsters in an apocalyptic world” is such a thing that impresses 10 year olds. Lenka doesn’t help, as he feels like Eren Jaeger but everyone wants to suck his dick. (I actually haven’t watched an actual ep of AOT so I don’t actually know.) Newbie comes in claiming he wants to kill all Aragami (young war soldier analogy?), gets a weapon that is immediately “the special one”, stupid kid jumps in where he’s not authorized because he “wants to help people” and then gets shown that he really doesn’t know anything. The only other New Type is a genius cool girl who knows what she’s doing, he sees some tricks and automatically learns how to do the same. Also he gets to sit in with the commander and somehow makes better battle decisions for her even though he hasn't actually been in many battles. He’s trusted with high rank missions. He’s what every 10 year old boy wishes they were, probably. 

Okay, I don’t particularly Hate Lenka, but he hasn’t done so much for me. He is righteous and kind and cares for people but the way the series keeps making him soooo important and cool kinda sucks. I actually started liking Lenka during the whole encounter with Pita, where Alisa was rendered useless but the two stuck out for each other. Where Lenka’s God Arc breaks and he literally gets stabbed and watches more people die right in front of him. Ngl I thought the series could have made a turning point, Lenka actually dying and making way for another protagonist (Kota) djdjdmdmxmxm 

I came in for Kota and Soma for seiyuu reasons so of course that’s who I’m keeping my eyes on. Kota’s intro is soooo “the cool friend bro who gets killed in front of protag’s eyes that drives him to become stronger”. So I was kind of surprised he didn’t die 😂😂😂 I mean, Kota didn’t do so much either, we do see that he’s the plain wimpy guy that eventually tries to get stronger and even if he “grew” a little (developed a bullet), I don’t think the series gave him enough time for it to feel good. 

Soma on the other hand, got a whole episode to himself. Was A+ 👍👍👍👌👌 I liked the episode a lot and I can tell he’s a fan favorite. Ngl when Soma, Lindow and Sakuya were introduced, I thought they were a trio (and Eric but rip Eric), so I thought Soma was the same age as the latter two. I didn’t realize he was a teen like Lenka and the rest until his episode 😭 Anyway, I’m glad for Soma opening up, but I also kinda would like to see him chill with the gang more. Not possible given the time and place and the series tone. I think I would have liked a flashback or scene of Lindow and Soma because obviously he was affected by Lindow’s “death”.

So anyway, I came in hoping for Soma and Kota interactions and I got that, so I’m satisfied. 👍 Their early interactions was what I expected their relationship to be, but I’m glad they got a “conclusion” where Soma thanks Kota, even if I thought the Kota bullet scene wasnt even all that impressive. (I’d personally prefer if Kota just did a far range snipe that saved him but whatever.)

As for the other characters, we can all agree that Lindow is the Goat. He’s also had death markers on him since the beginning. I did cry for him tho. (Also me laughing because Hirata and Nakai Kazuya in the same place but not butting heads with each other.)

I don’t hate Alisa, more like I hate the idea of what guys see in her. Like her character design isn’t even bad (the hat and plaid is cute but they really could have given her an undershirt, like girl nipslips….), but I literally laughed out loud when she was shivering from the rain after getting separated and Lenka lended his cloak to her like Girl Of Course You’re Cold. I can’t tell if her character arc was concluded or not (I guess? If Lenka snapped her out of it by Being Lindow) but I’m glad Lindow had an impact on her as well that she was able to break away from the mind wash propaganda. 

I guess the story itself isn’t anything I’m really into but I like how you get the glimpses of The Three Scientists, who we recognize and it slowly unraveling as we go through the current events. I’m glad there wasn’t a stupid love triangle and that the third guy wasn’t the crazy one, and that he’s actually the “good one”. More surprising is that Paylor is allowed to be in Fenrir and Johannes didn’t like try to kill him to silence him or anything. 

Anyway, I think we all been know that Aegis isn’t actually a safe underground haven to save all of humanity. (whathaveibeenfoghtingfooorrrr) I’m not too invested that I’d pick up the games or anything to see the rest of the story. 

I like the message of passing on hope, even if the fight feels meaningless. I was hoping Lenka would give the little girl Lindow’s compass, as a You’re Next sign, if she could be like the protag of the next game or something but that never happened. 

Uhhh I have it an 8 on MAL, which is pretty high for me. I think the vibes and tone of the series is sound, the ost isn’t my jam but fits with what it’s trying to portray. Of course OldCodex fits right in for the OP. I haven’t played the games but I think this is a pretty good anime adaptation, if only just by appearance.