#im going to make a grilled cheese now
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azuredrg · 4 months ago
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some of you wouldn't know what feminism was even if it beat you over the head
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volfoss · 5 months ago
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To be honest I'm kind of losing my mind at how good this bread is
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genekies · 11 months ago
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screaming in the club
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time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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nivq87 · 11 months ago
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I survived work btw. I was tired all day, but facinatingly i seemed to stay at a very consistent low energy the whole time. The lowest dip was in the hour before i had lunch, since by that point all id eaten the preceding 5 hours was one singular apple. After i ate i had a noticeable uptick in energy that really only ran out when it was time to come home.
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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No greater motivation to make my apartment passably presentable than impending father visit
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carrionsong · 3 months ago
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oh. thats a mountain lion. like a legit, real one oh my god . <- was out on a walk the other day around sunset and the neighborhood he walks in is really close to a heavily forested area where theyve joked with their mom about mountain lions catching them. auhgh
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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ordered sonic.... yay
#11 dollar order judt a footlong coney and medium tater tots. Paying 18 dollars for it 😭😭😭😭#+5 dollar tip#sighhh. oh well worth it for delicious chilidog reward guys im so excitef#i dont even particularly want a coney i just rly rly rly want a chilidog. and a coney is technically a chilidog#ideally id just have my girlfriend hormel hot dog chili my other girlfriend oscar meyer hotdog my other girlfriend great value cheddar and#my fourth girlfriend white bread. but country girls make do.#my best hotdog tip btw for you dogheads out there. looking at you anubis#AWESOME JOKE! the crowd went wild. snyways the tip is to cut it in half b4 u microwave it.....#or like however yr cooking hot dogs ive had them every which way. microwave is most convenient boiled makes me nostalgic grilled#also makes me nostalgic but for more idealized nostalgia. boiled hot dogs r nostalgia 4 the like. being in poverty Not that im a povertyfan#LOL. and not that only poor ppl... boil hot dogs just like idk it was a very cheap meal Boiled hot dogs and great value white bread and#great value cheddar and hormel chili. exceedingly cheap. and Most of my comfort foods r that way#shoutout to keilbasa and potatoes shoutout to keilbasa and mac n cheese SHOUTOUT TUNEY MAC MVP MVP MVP NUMBER ONE TUNEY MAC#one thing abt poor ppl foods is that if u have a meat you can just put that shit in mac n cheese and thats a meal.#not just poor ppl i think everybody should just be likr Fugg ittt can of tuna in the mac n cheese. sry guys im like tuney macs number one#advocate. im so tired of being told its gross or weird lol. sry. everybody go eat tuney mac NOW !!!!#but yes anyway#i love the cheesedogs yk the ones with the cheese in them.. and those ones i alwaysss cut them open even tho i ate those eith no toppings a#lot. it just gets them likee. yummy idk man..#and obvi its convenient 4 toppings and stuff. not oarticularly cheese but chili? brother you need to make a bowl for all of that or you#wont grt optimal chili spreadage.#my other hot dog tip is 1. go to steak n shake 2. order steak frank 3. cheddar cheese cup on the side 4. with fries 5. get the likee#seasoning whatever idk i stole an entire thing of it. hut its just at your tables or you caj pay 13 dollars#but rly its incredibly easy t hust steal it and its yummy LOL. you put that on the fries#you put the cheese on the frank hust pour it#its liquid cheddar yk. yumm#then you put fries on the frank too. and any leftover cheddar you dip the fries that arent on the frank jn that#This is my birthday meal ive had it every single birthday for the past like 10 years Except for 2021 I Dont Particularly Want To Talk About#My 2021 Birthday. HAPPY SWEET 16 TO ME !#well actually i do want 2 talk abt it bc its sad 💔 bc of covid and the like steak n shake was closed EVEN FOR DRIVE THRU and it was lik
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serqphites · 2 months ago
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been sick for so long and all i need is abby to take care of me like the good girlfriend that she is !!! also look at her lil smile im acc deceased nobody speak to me ever again
16+, modern!au, sfw, throwing up (r!), this is short and ass
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do not even THINK about lying to this girl about your sickness… she will not buy a single second of it.
"abby i promise you i'm-" sneeze, "fine..." is there even any point trying to defend your case any longer when abby is looking at you like an unimpressed, disappointed mother with her hands on her hips?
she's already called issac to tell him that she isn't going to be in work until you're better. he tried to refuse and order her to come in, but abby didn't back down and stood her ground until he eventually backed off because nobody is more important than her girl!!
she quite literally cannot leave you alone, always rushing whenever she has to leave your side just in case you need her (she definitely trips and eats shit on the stairs because she was trying to get back to your room a lil too fast)
laying on her chest!!! her big arms wrapped around you and holding you close, kisses being peppered atop your head whenever she enters a cutscene in whatever game she's playing because you begged her to let you watch her play. it took a little convincing because abby just wants you to sleep and get the rest you need, but the second you flashed her those sad puppy dog eyes she was handing you the controller to let you pick out a game for her to play.
this girl always has tissues on her, stuffing her pockets full of them so she's ready for whenever you need them
i can just picture you making those funny noises people do before sneezing and abby practically TELEPORTING to you and shoving a scrunched up tissue in your face. she would be so proud of herself too and just look at you like "did i help? :D" yes you did sweetie you did such a good job!!!
you can’t convince that this girl doesn’t make the best grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup known to mankind, it’s always her go to when you’re sick (not that you’re complaining because it’s INCREDIBLE)
not being able to sleep because you can’t breathe and you’re just in so much pain, so abby lays awake with you until you eventually fall asleep :( unless she knows you’re okay and asleep she physically cannot fall asleep, her mind won’t let her.
abby for sure keeps a bucket on her side of the bed for in the middle of the night (she doesn’t want you trying to reach for it and accidentally falling and hurting yourself)
abby is jolted awake almost immediately once you yourself wake up with a startle, shooting up into a sitting position as your hands fly to your mouth. she’s springing into action without even realising it, reaching down as quickly as possible to snatch the bucket and place it into your lap. “in the bucket baby, good girl there you go” she mumbles in that raspy sleep voice, one of her hands keeping a hold of the bucket in case you can’t while her free hand moves up to hold back your hair.
abby running you a bath with all of your favourite essentials lined up ready for you (need that). oh and she is 1000000% washing your hair and body for you, she can’t have her baby tiring herself out now can she?
even when you start to feel better she’s still just as attentive, you assure her that she can stop and just take a break but abby just continues whatever she was doing like she literally can’t hear you LMAO
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a/n: i’m genuinely so sorry this is so bad 😭 im still sick and barely had the energy to write this but i just wanted to post something SO bad. hope you’re all having a good day/night !! <3
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makethemhoesmad · 3 months ago
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love you till my lungs give out
paige bueckers x reader
word count- 2k(lord)
notes: this fic was such a great write for me, as it focuses around eating disorders, which is something i’ve personally struggled with. i know this is a sensitive topic, so please, if this makes you uncomfortable, scroll away, or read at your own risk.
thanks to: literally the biggest thanks ever to @melpthatsme for dming me your idea and helping me work through it, i really could not have done this without you, so everyone thank them
also thanks to @imaginespazzi and @bueckersstrap for reacting to my random messages about this
the first time it happened, i barely realized i did it.
“paigey, my head hurts so bad right now. like, im gonna die right here,” i groan, hiding my face in the fabric of her hoodie, trying to lock out any stray amounts of light coming from the covered windows. she runs her hand through my hair, and starts to ever-so-gently massage my temples. i sigh in quiet relief, and then she tries to pull me up to lay on top of her.
“uh uh, paige, no,” i say. i try to shake my head at her, but a bolt of pain flies through me, forcing my head back down.
“jus’ tryna help you get comfy, ma,” she whispers, bundling me up in a blanket and pulling me back into her side. she moves her warm hands up and under my t-shirt, but i squirm about, complaining that they’re too cold, even though i’ve never felt anything more soft and warm, so she moves them back over my shirt. but i don’t notice it, not really. and neither does she.
the second time, i know what i did.
“so, what should we order to eat?” paige asks, scrolling on her phone for different options. 
“mm, what if i cooked here, for something different! i can make you a grilled cheese,” i joke, nudging her arm with my shoulder. “that’s all i know how to cook anyway.”
she giggles, standing up with me and following me to the kitchen. she hoists herself onto the counter, and watches me intently as i pull out the things for a sandwich. i grin at her, moving to step in between her legs and take her face in my hands. 
“you’re so cute,” i say, pressing a kiss to her nose. she hops off of the counter and follows me to the stove. paige is just too sweet to me sometimes. i’m cooking dinner for her, the least i can do, really, and she’s cozied up behind me, arms around my waist her hands are barely touching, she can barely fit them around me and her chin is resting softly on my shoulder. she’s pressing light pecks to whatever area she can reach, and i feel at peace, in the kitchen, for a few moments. then it stops.
“why aren’t you making one for yourself baby?” she asks, spinning me around to lean me against the countertop, forgetting her sandwich beside her.
“i’m feeling, um, nauseous,” i stutter, stumbling over the excuse. she lets me go, though she looks skeptical.
“cmon, just have a bite of mine then. baby, you really need to eat more, that’s probably why you haven’t been feeling very well lately.”
i allow her to feed me a small bite, then quickly use my fingers to silently add that to whatever else i ate today. i read somewhere that to lose weight, you need to burn more calories that you eat. tomorrow, i need to burn around 800. Well, 804 now. 
the third time, i think paige noticed something was up.
“ma, this is literally the fourth time you’ve said that you’re cold. just take my fucking hoodie, i’m actually begging you,” she pleads, taking it off and offering it up to me. i shake my head, again, and press myself further into her chest, rubbing my arms to try and make the goosebumps disappear. she pulls me into her, then moves her mouth to my ear.
“is everything okay baby? do you wanna go home?” she whispers, nuzzling my neck with her nose. i shrug, not wanting to make her leave if she wasn’t done chatting with people yet. she makes the decision for me, standing up and tugging me with her. her hand finds its way to the small of my back, and she guides me towards the door. i sway slightly as we stand, blood rushing to my head. i take it as my lack of protein, or anything really, catching up to me. she stops walking, lurching to grab me by both shoulders and bend to eye level with me.
“darling, i want you to be honest with me. what have you eaten today?” i shake my head, feeling my cheeks going red at the thought of her confronting me. i look down, trying to avoid eye contact with her as my eyes fill with tears. she wraps me up into a hug, planting a kiss to the top of my head. she pulls me to the car and helps me in, then climbs into her own door, but makes no move to turn the car on. instead she pulls out her phone and asks me “so, where do you wanna stop and pick up food on our way home?” 
“paige, i’m really not that hungry, just tired and need to be with you in bed for the night. can we please just go home?” 
she nods, but looks at me skeptically out of the corner of her eye. she must know that all i’ve eaten today is half an energy drink and a piece of gum. i’ll eat something with her tomorrow, i guess. we can go out to lunch together and then when she goes to the gym ill go on a run. then she’ll see that im okay.
the fourth time, or probably the fifth or sixth, really, i don’t notice it, so i don’t think she does either.
“cmere pretty,” paige mumbles, reaching her arms out to me from where she’s laying on the bed. i slowly move to lay next to her, but roll away when she tries to take my sweater off.
“hey, baby, what?” she whines, apparently frustrated by the lack of contact.
“i wanna leave it on, paigey,” i tell her, moving my hand into the waistband of her shorts.
“but i wanna see you, please baby,” i don’t like saying no to her, but this is one thing i very rarely back down on.
“uh uh, sorry. lemme taste you, though,” i respond, moving to tug her shorts down.
“nah, come and sit on my face, cutie.” she smirks at her own words, but i’m not laughing. i scramble off the bed, standing up to black spots in my vision. i stand still, squeezing my eyes shut to get rid of the feeling. i stay there for im not sure how long, when i feel strong arms loop around my shoulders and help me onto the bed. paige helps me lay down, placing my head in her lap, then starts to comb through my hair with her fingers. she doesn’t say anything, and i’m grateful for that. obviously, she just thinks im tired. she knows im okay.
this time, im sure she noticed. it would be hard not to.
i’ve just come home from a run to the gym, dripping in sweat. it’s part of my new routine. i jog a mile and a half to the gym, i walk on a stairmaster or inclined treadmill there, then run home. normally i leave when paige leaves for practice, and come home just as she’s getting home, if not a little before so i can shower before she gets here. today, i must’ve done a little too much, because by the time i walk in the door, my head is spinning. i walk into the kitchen, sitting down at the island and resting my head in my hands, trying to clear my vision. i don’t hear when the door opens.
“baby, are you okay?” i hear. i sit up quickly, startled, then put my head back down immediately, because my vision goes nearly dark again.
“mhm, just tired you know? just got back from a run.” 
“you’ve got to take a rest day sometimes, darling,” she coos, taking my face into her hands and pressing a kiss to my nose. i nod, knowing i won’t do it.
sometimes i don’t realize it, but she knows exactly what to do.
i’ve just finished cooking dinner, just some simple spaghetti and a salad. i place her bowl of noodles in front of her, then settle down with my salad. when i stand up to get a glass of water, then come back, i can’t help but notice she’s switched our bowls.
“paigey, could i, possibly, maybe, have my bowl back?” i ask, trying to seem lighthearted.
“oh, yeah, sure,” she answers, sliding it back towards me. but when i try to slide hers back, she stops me. 
“nah, you eat that too. seems like you forgot to serve yourself noodles, so ill go make myself a new bowl.” she stands up, but i scramble in front of the stove quicker, blocking her way. 
“why would you do that, when i made you a whole bowl? eat it,” i tell her, pointing back to the countertop. she lunges at me, lifting me easily and placing me on the countertop. why would she pick me up? she definitely thought i was too heavy. i bet she leaves after this. she drags her my bowl over, twirls a few noodles onto the fork, and begins to prod my mouth with it. 
“cmon honey, just a bite. it’s not like it’s poison, you literally just cooked it,” she presses. i start to shake my head, so she moves the fork and instead swoops in for a kiss. i return her advances eagerly. hoping it distracts her. she moves her head down, pressing open mouthed kisses to my neck, and my mouth falls open. i don’t realize she’s noticed that until she’s setting the forkful of food between my lips and lightly closing them.
“it’s one bite, ma. let’s get it eaten, then you can be done.” i chew, not really having the choice to run and spit it out. once i swallow, she beams at me.
“such a good girl, baby. i’m so proud of you.”
at some point, she wins
“come here now, baby,” paige demands, grasping me by the waist and yanking me in front of her. i’d been about to climb into the shower when she spotted me through the bathroom mirror, stripped down to nothing. she’d grabbed me, pulled me into my room, and positioned us in front of the full-length mirror to the side.
“you see how perfect you are? how pretty?” she mumbles into my ear. i let my eyes flutter shut as she snakes her hand down my body, stopping to circle her finger over my clit. a groan slips out from my lips, and she stops.
“alright, i want you to keep on looking right in the mirror, ma. want you to see how perfectly you take my fingers.” i writhe against her, trying to keep my eyes open and hold myself up at the same time. she plunges three fingers into me. i cry out, locking eyes with her in the mirror, she smirks, the same way she always does when drawing a climax from me. i go boneless. if she hadn’t been holding me so tightly, i would be on the floor.
“now can you see how amazing you are? you don’t gotta change anything about you, i’ll love you no matter what. you should stop listening to what others say, because people that love you, like me, want you, no matter what you look like. i, personally, think you’re perfect. i’ll love you till the day my lungs give out, and even then, i’ll use my last breath to say it again.”
after that, it happens less often. some days, i still forget to eat, and some days even looking at a scale makes me want to throw up. but paige is always there. she’s always there to hold me, or help me eat just a little bit, or to help me lay down and relax after i’ve panicked so hard ive puked into the toilet. one day, looking at her from across the couch, i realize that when she told me she’d love me no matter what, she was telling the truth.
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drvscarlett · 8 months ago
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Let Him Cook Pt 6
Charles Leclerc x Masterchef! Reader
Let Him Cook Series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
A/N: Thank you for that anon who gave me a message for the next part of the series. This one is dedicated for you!
taglist: @bookstore-of-dreams@barcelonaloverf1life@ririyulife@minseok-smaus@mehrmonga@sltwins@charlesgirl16@six-call@spideybv28@casperlikej@weekendlusting@janeholt3 @evie-119@leilanixx @randomgirlnumber-13@itsjustkhaos
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Cookies and Grand Prix
Y/NCooks just posted a photo.
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Y/NCooks Now that my masterchef duties are done. Its my first time going to a grand prix as Charles' girlfriend. I hope you like cookies
User1 OMG IM GOING TOMORROW!!! OMYGODDDDD
Y/NCooks I'll give you a cookie when I see you! User1 Ohmygod, this is the best. You are the best!
User3 I'm envious of everyone going to Monza this year, Y/N is giving out cookies
User4 The details are everything on those cookies
CarlosSainz55 Im technically a former ferrari driver so can I claim a cookie?
LoganSargeant can i have one too? Y/NCooks this is for everyone!! Make sure to drop by Carlos and Logan! Maxverstappen1 Expect me around! User5 Everybody is a ferrari fan!
"Okay mon amour, so there will be a big crowd when we arrive" Charles briefed you as you get closer to the venue "Make sure to stick close to me."
"Yes honey, I know. Hold your hand and don't let go"
Charles has been extremely stressed and he thinks it might not be a good idea to bring you to Monza for your first GP as a couple. However, you couldn't pass up the opportunity. You have seen how the people cheered for Charles when he won in Monza, the crowd was electrifying. You wonder what will happen if it happens again this weekend.
Besides, you have a basket full of cookies that you prepared to give for those fans of Charles that you will meet.
You were immediately greeted by a huge crowd calling out Charles name. It was no wonder that there was several security guards waiting at Charles' designated parking lot.
It was normal for Charles to stop to take photos and to sign some merch. What surprised the duo was that the fans were asking for Y/N and her cookies.
"We really waited for you guys so we can get some cookies" one of the avid Tifosi said
"I really hope the cookies give ferrari luck"you agreed.
There was a buzz in the paddock as you gave away several more cookies to the different fans you encountered. You managed to give Carlos and Logan since they were also waiting at the parking lot. You were so carried away talking to everyone that you didn't realize that you already ran out of cookies.
"Oh no, I didn't save cookies for your other friends" you concluded upon reaching the garage.
"That's okay mon amour, I'm sure they would understand that there is no more cookies" Charles assured.
And like a comical entrance, a man in full Red Bull gear enters the sea of red uniforms.
"What do you mean no more cookies?" Max asked "I did not just go through all the security details to not have cookies"
"Oops."
Grill the grid: eggs
It was a fairly easy challenge, the media team thought. They believe that there will be no harm to let the drivers cook since its just a simple hard-boiled egg.
There was a stove, a pot, 2 bottles of water, eggs, vinegar, salt, and pepper on the table. They also thought that it will be funny to put unnecessary spices and ingredients on the table so there is grated cheese, spring onions, cinnamon, carrots, and etc..
The drivers entered the room looking confused at the different set up of the Grill the Grid.
"We're giving people what they want, today were actually allowing the drivers to show off their cooking skills with this special episodes of grill the grid"
Charles is obviously happy. He was already raving about how there are different versions of eggs that he tried at home because of Y/N.
"I have already tried doing poached egg, soft-boiled eggs, french omelette, american ones" Charles enumerated "I think I'm the best at making scrambled eggs"
"Its just scrambled"
"There is a technique there" and Charles continued to ramble on the different techniques that he has used to achieve the perfect scrambled eggs.
On the other hand, Oscar is attempting to make a hard boiled egg. He admits to the camera that he did not have any experience of it but he definitely knows how it taste (obviously).
"So Oscar what is your game plan here?"
"Well, I'm planning to boil the water and I think I should add some vinegar and then maybe sugar and salt so the egg will be flavored" Oscar stopped as he heard the giggling on set "Wait am I wrong?"
"No, no, just continue"
"Okay so I think I'm gonna let the eggs cook once the water is rolling then I'm gonna wait for 15-18 minutes because I don't wanna serve raw eggs" Oscar continued.
The staffs are a bit shocked by the length of time. It was beyond overcooked but they wouldn't say anything to the Australian driver.
It cuts to Max who seems to be pretty confident with his skill. Its a simple egg, how hard can it be?
"Of course, we have to get the water boiling and then I'm going to put it in for 5 minutes and then get the egg out" Max explained.
If Oscar has a long waiting time, Max was immediately dropping the egg even before the water is boiling because Max believes that the water is hot to the touch.
"What happened, why is the egg still runny?" Max wondered
He cut off the egg and there was still slimy white and the yolks were uncooked. There was a frown on his face as he looked back at his pot, he thinks he is being sabotaged.
"I'm gonna do it again"
Yuki was excited to do the cooking challenge. He insisted that he will not just make a hard boiled egg but he will also showcase a soft-boiled egg. The staffs were ecstatic to see him running around to get iced water for his eggs.
"I make these weekly so I'm really confident that it will turn out well"Yuki has a permanent grin as he fishes out his soft-boiled egg.
"If you want a soft-boiled egg, boiling water with the bubbles and then 8 minutes on the clock. Then you put it in an ice bath and then peel it" Yuki narrates.
He opens his soft boiled egg and it showcases a jammy yolk and soft whites, the perfect kind of soft-boiled eggs. The studio applauds at Yuki's efforts.
Y/NCooks just posted a photo
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Y/NCooks since the episode is out, here is the list of photos sent to me by the crew. Guess which is which.
User2 OHMYGOD, THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!
User3 LOOK AT OSCAR'S REALLY OVERCOOKED EGGS
User6 i was seriously laughing when he said 18 to 20 minutes User7 For real, man thinks he is tenderizing meat
maxverstappen1 i demand a part 2
Charles_Leclerc "its so easy" maxverstappen1 shut up. i have been cooking now kellypiquet p is getting tired of eggs every morning user9 max is really serious to train himself on how to make eggs
User14 I just know that yuki is the one with the best looking egg, so smooth!!!
Y/Ncooks yes!!! User17 charles is the one with the unsmooth peeling Y/NCooks the man can't have it all, i guess
LandoNorris thank God they didn't send you my photo
Y/NCooks lando, i dont think anyone grabbed a photo since the fire department was called CarlosSainz55 you did what???? Charles_Leclerc and they call me as someone who can't cook when we have Lando here being a fire hazard LandoNorris Y/N THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SECRET User22 atleast team papaya are both needing lessons.
The cookie prank.
Max was still upset that he didn't get to have cookies in Monza. He was really looking forward to it so he wasn't the least suspicious when he allowed Charles inside his home since he brought him cookies.
It was wrong of Max to put down his defenses.
"I'm gonna get some water, you want anything?" Max asked
"No, I'm just gonna get comfortable here with your cats"
Charles stood in front of the cat litter box and he pulled the ziplock bag that he has. Inside the ziplock bag was another set of cookies that looks like cat poops. He laughed quietly as he sets up the scene.
"Max, do you know about that coffee made from poop?" he asked the Dutchman
"Of course, Kopi Luwak" Max replied "Why did you ask?"
Max walked out of the kitchen and he can see clearly how Charles picked up a poop from the litter box. He almost dropped the water that he is holding upon seeing that.
"What if we use cat poop instead" Charles wondered
"CHARLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
The pure mortification in Max's face when Charles started eating the poop. It seems like his friend lost his mind after driving in Ferrari for all these years.
"You should try some"
"Y/N, CHARLES IS GOING CRAZY" Max immediately placed you on a call "I THINK HE NEEDS THERAPY"
"Woah slow down Max" you were out on a grocery run and now Max is screaming at your ear
"Hello mon amour"Charles greeted on the other line.
"HE LOST HIS MIND, HE STARTED EATING MY CAT'S POOPS"
You made a mental face palm as you remembered how Charles insisted that you make very realistic cookies that looks like poop. Charles never opened it to you that he will be using it to prank Max. You started laughing at the shock in Max's face.
"Max, those are cookies" you defended
"THEY ARE CAT POOPS, CHARLES LECLERC IS EATING CAT POOPS"
Oh what would you do with these boys.
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strnilolo · 1 year ago
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“i’ll do it”
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summary: just chris sturniolo taking off your makeup after a night out together :)
word count: 650
warnings: use of y/n & n/n (nickname), lots of dialogue, pure fluff, established relationship, chris x reader, lowercase intentional.
an; two posts in one day?? also i will be posting from this account from now on, i sacrificed my old account for this, so be happy haha.
||masterlist coming soon||
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coming home for the night, you place your bag onto the couch and sit down to take off your heels. you and chris had been out, without nick and matt, to a small get together with friends.
“i’m so hungry, do you want anything n/n?” chris is in the kitchen rummaging through the cabinets for something to eat.
“im okay, thank you. i had some of the chicken at brodies house.” “im so tired i dont even want to take off my clothes” you groan, falling backwards over the arm of the couch.
“put your legs down goofy, you’re in a dress” nick comes out of his room, pushing your legs back down.
“i didn’t know you were awake” you smile at nick, slowly pushing yourself off the boys’ couch.
“i'm always lurking, y/n. always” nick joked in an odd voice. the boys always seemed to make weird voices when they were excited, must be a triplet thing.
“nick what are you saying, dude, and quit breathing down my neck” chris shoved his brother off, spatula in hand as he flipped the grilled cheese in the pan.
“where were you guys even at? you missed me and matt on instagram live.”
“you know my friend brodie right? she invited me to a little get together but i didn’t really know anyone so i made chris come” you explain, hopping onto the counter next to the stove. chris puts a hand over the hot eye, ensuring you don’t touch it by accident.
“you guys are sickening” nick scoffs, walking out of the kitchen to his room.
“goodnight!” you call jokingly, knowing he really finds the two of you cute.
finishing his dinner, chris taps your leg, silently signaling you to jump down off of the kitchen counter.
“let’s go to bed, i’ll eat in my room” chris begins to walk up the stairs to his room, you following in suit.
entering his room, chris sets the plate down onto his desk. before you sit on the bed yourself, he stops you.
“don’t sit on my bed in your outside clothes, nasty. change first, then you can sleep in my bed.” groaning loudly, you comply. changing into a tank top and halloween pajama pants, you finally are allowed to get into bed next to your boyfriend. however, that’s still not enough for him. just as you start to get comfortable, chris objects, interupting you again.
“WAIT! don’t you have to take off your makeup?” chris eyes you before you place your head on the pillow.
“chris i really don’t want to tonight, please, can we just go to bed” exhausted and fed up with his antics, you fold the blaket over your legs, beginning to get up.
“hold on” you sigh, what more could he possibly want. “i’ll do it” chris pushes your shoulders, sitting you back onto the bed. completely worn out for the day, you allow chris to gather the supplies to remove your makeup himself.
sitting back down next to you, chris opens the micellar water, pouring the contents onto a cotton round you kept in his bathroom. you jerk back, the temperature taking you by surprise, as he begins at your cheek bones, wiping the cotton round over your face. chris lightly grabs your chin, turning your face towards him so that he can continue his work.
“thank you” you whisper as he finishes taking off your mascara, lightly kissing his cheek.
“anything to keep you from getting makeup all over my pillows” he smirks, putting the makeup remover onto the bedside table, and the cotton rounds into the trash.
“oh whatever, you were being nice to me, admit it” you scoff, waiting for him to come back to bed before you get comfortable.
“never” he smiles, placing a kiss onto your hairline before getting into bed and finally allowing the two of you to rest.
|| likes, comments, & reblogs are always appreciated :)
🏷️ @bananabread-nana ||
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g0ldenbritney · 1 month ago
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TATE LANGDON ABCS (sfw)꧂
a/n: HAPPY HALLOWEEN🎃..sorry i skipped some letters im a lazy bitch
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A = Affection
physical touch for sure, playing with your hair, holding your hand (or holding pinky fingers because thats cutesy as fuck), kissing cheeks and noses (im a SUCKAA for nose kisses and so is he<3). Im just imagining you leaning in to kiss his nose, but he thought you were leaning in for a lip kiss, and it ends up being kinda awkward and you bump into eachother😭😭. Tbh i can’t see him being great at communication especially because he’s a literal teenage boy but though he might now be able to say it he can definitely show it with acts of service like helping with chores
You were at school, trying to focus on your worksheets and actually listening to the teacher speak about..whatever she was teaching, all you can think about is getting back home and all the homework and fuckin chores you had awaiting for you.
once you did get home, you opened the front door and you could smell how good the house smelt, on more exploration the entire house was cleaned and all your chores were done. You walked into your room and your homework was completed on your desk..i mean all the answers were wrong but its the thought that counts.
B = Best friend
Im going with alive Tate for this, I have a mood board on Pinterest for this!! (adrienjoyer)
Sharing cigarettes, sharing cds, sharing shoes, sharing clothes, FREE RAIN OF HIS STUFF. He will let you have anything, need a pencil in class…actually he doesn’t have one either but he will scavenge around for one—and if he only finds one? It’s *our* pencil now. (i need to smack that mans ass on the stairs) (i do that to all my friends) Oh? You have 10 bucks? Well he has 7…that mean its OUR 17 dollars to spend on pizza
(based on a scenario that actually happened to me LMAO 😭😭)
It was late at night, you both were hanging out at your house and it was like 2am, suddenly you both have the craving for pizza..you both counted your cash and quarters, you had 13 bucks in total so you thought a small pizza would fine..yeah no. Tate called up the local Pizza Hut and ordered a small pizza with nothing but cheese and pepperoni and it was 22 FUCKING DOLLARS?? And so you both ran around the house looking for quarters…
you ended up paying the money in quarters to that poor pizza delivery girl at 2am.
C = Cuddles
Depends on how he’s feeling tbh, i can see him as a chest layer. Lying on your chest as you stroke his hair, or the other way around he would be just fine with that as well.
D = Domestic
OF COURSE!! I can see him totally wanting that but like..not till he’s like 30. He wants to do all this stuff first before he settled down, but he definitely wouldn’t mind a partner..some kids, a dog maybe. He’s pretty good at cooking, if you count Kraft mac and cheese and grilled cheese or really anything with cheese.. (the man likes cheese what can i say) and he REFUSES to use a dishwasher, he will be washing dishes old style and you cant stop him.
E = Ending
no.
G = Gentle
Sometimes he might go to far, if you two are just friends and hes joking around and he actually hurts your feelings he would squeeze your shoulder and tell you a quick “sorry.” And it usually makes you feel better. He is very gentle with you when you’re having a bad day maybe just upset or stressed about exams he will maybe rub your shoulders or something and maybe get you to laugh to calm your nerves. If you are in a good mood, hes still gentle, holding you, holding your hands, being careful.
H = Hugs
He loves them!! I dont even care what you have to say or as much as he tries to push you off when you hug him he LOVES HUGS. If you two are just friends and you hug him he might be a little hesitant but he will hug you loosely back. This is totally pointed towards me because im very physically affectionate with my friends and hug them after school everyday, if you, like me, run up to him at his locker and basically throw yourself at him he will laugh and let you hug him and yap. If you’re dating and you hug him he will definitely hug you back and kiss your head :)
I = I love you
He thinks the whole “3 month rule” is bs. He’ll say that shit whenever he wants to. If he wants to say “I love you” immediately after you starting dating god damnit it will happen!!! He definitely says he loves you if you’re just friends to
J = Jealousy
Actual jealous baby
Im just imagining someone flirting with you in class do you immediately tell him as soon as you can because you tell him everything and he genuinely TWEAKS THE FUCK OUTTT, like hes actually geeked
like wdym someone else might have a little crush on you…NO. That person will become his biggest opp and you are told to stay away.
You were in 1st hour and you were assigned partners, luckily you knew the person you were assigned with thought they were a little strange…but they started subtly flirting you. They said sorry for being awkward and they “get nervous around people like you” which sounded like a flirt to you
so when you got to lunch, you immediately told Tate, he literally could run to that kids class right now and fight but he just whips his head around at you
“I hated that guy anyway…stupid.”
K = Kisses
Can range from sweet little ones to full blown makeouts hickeys..he prefers sweet ones on the face in the daylight but at night this man is freaky asf. His kisses are soft and slow but he can be a bit quicker if you really want him to
Q = Quizzes
he had a notebook for stuff about you, if you accidentally drop a little fun fact about you he will know about it and he will write it down, ranging from your favorite juice or if you have a mole under your jaw. He knows it all. If he ever forgot anything and i mean ANYTHING about you I dont think he would forgive himself
T = Try
Tbh i dont think he would put a lot of effort in, he just likes to be around you. (Though the mcdonalds dates are FIRE.) he likes having sleepovers with you at tour house only, watching movies, eating snacks till you feel ill, cuddling, if you’re down to get Applebees that would be even better and you would both ask the waiter for the gummy sharks in your sweet drinks separately (yes ive done that before). But if you really really wanted anice romantic date maybe he would give you flowers or something
U = Ugly
Nail biting (you put bandaids over his nails so he’ll stop :)), excessive social media usage (this guys is chronically online holly shit freaking 4chan user), ive always imagined him little tics, like twitching when hes anxious.
X = Xtra
i want to bake him a cake
Z = Zzz
THIS MAN CAN NEVER SLEEP ISTG
he tosses and turns but no matter what he cant sleep without you or if you give him a stuffed animal
OHH MY GODD IF YOU GIVE HIM A STUFFED ANIMAL I CANT
imagine him holding and cuddling it, and i know this doesnt relate to sleep but imagine him being all sad and crying into it because it reminds him of you😭
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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months ago
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OZZIE X READER X FIZZIE HEADCANONS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Ozzie x reader x Fizz hcs
i kind of really want a grilled cheese right now but its like 11pm as im writing this and i dont wanna wake anyone up grrr.... hisshiss.... notes: reader is written as masc as fizz is attracted to men, short post as admin is still trying to get a hold of writing poly relationships cws: none
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you all band together when someone is being rude to just one of you- though to be fair there arent many who are willing to give ozzie shit thanks to his status as a sin
you all dedicate at least one night a week to hang out together, whether staying in or going out- anything ends up being fun!
you all take turns planning dates too, of course!
big bed, you all sleep together in the same bed- usually you and fizz sleep on each of ozzies sides and snuggle into him, and he has each arm wrapped around the two of you
on the occasion that you and fizz plan something to surprise ozzie- anniversary, or a birthday if he celebrates it- you both try your best to keep it a secret
....neither of you are particularly good at keeping secrets though, but thats not going to stop ozzie from pretending to be surprised when its finally revealed
matching outfits are a must when you go out, though if this is prior to fizz's quitting ozzie may wear his regular attire... its so painfully obvious to everyone else that youre all an item but hes still going to try to remain... normal...
loves helping you and fizz make outfits though! he has an eye for it, and fizz brings the energy! function and fun with those two!
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goldenlikedayl1ght · 9 months ago
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lover - p. parker
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a/n: hi guys so sorry it's been a while i meant to finish this a million times and im still not thrilled with the ending but oh well! i want to make a quick note that as someone whose hard of hearing i am aware that being hoh/deaf has a lot of rheotric around it and there's a lot of positive associations with being hoh/deaf but reader in this fic is not always happy with being hoh because being deaf/hoh has a LOT of complciated emotions associated with it! just keep that in mind as we go forward. warnings: hoh!reader, cursing probably, suggestive behaviors, lots of kissing, lots of fluff, a poorly written ending, gn!reader, reader having a lot of complex emotions about their hearing, talks of weddings, and reader has a mom and a step dad who love them. AUTISTIC PETER BTW ITS ONLY MENTIONED ONCE BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME word count: 4.0k summary: peter parker is quite literally the most amazing boyfriend ever. even when you realize you're hard of hearing. pairing: tasm!peter parker x hoh!reader now playing: lover - taylor swift "my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue/all's well that ends well to end up with you/swear to be over-dramatic and true to my/lover"
Going to the grocery store is a nightmare.  
Especially when you go on a Saturday in New York City, on a relatively nice day out.
You’re pushing the cart through the grocery store, trying to focus on what’s right in front of you as Peter comes up behind you, placing a box of cinnamon toast crunch in the bag before you check it off your list.
This is your system—Peter runs around grabbing your assorted groceries for the next two weeks as you check it off the list, then there is two people making sure you have all your groceries. This pretty much eliminates the possibility of having to run out to the store during the week.
And usually, you do this very early on Sunday mornings—Like, you and Peter are the first patrons at the store.
But you’re out of just a few things that are essential—Toothpaste, Milk, coffee—You pretty much just decided to get it out of the way for the next two weeks.
The problem now, is that you’re in this crowded store, full of people talking, machines beeping and carts wheeling.. You’re struggling to focus. That’s what you pass it off as, at least.
Peter’s hand lands gently on your arm as he says your name gently.
“Huh?” You tilt your head to look at him.
“I just wanted to know what was next on the list.” He smiles at you. You glance down at the list,
“Uh, Bread.” You tell him, planning on making grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He hums, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. You smile softly. You’re not the biggest fan of PDA but Peter can recognize when you’re feeling upset and just need a reminder of your worth.
A few minutes later, as you’re struggling to ground yourself in the middle of this Trader Joe’s, Peter spooks you when he comes up behind you, his hand resting on your upper arm.
“Fucking Christ—” You gasped, “You terrified me!”
“I’m sorry, Baby.” He says gently. “I called your name a few times, was yapping all the way down the aisle.”
“Oh..” Your face softens. You don’t really know how to say all the things you’re feeling.
“Hey, I’ll—I’ll finish up here, how bout you step outside for a few minutes? Wait for me by the carts?”
Your list is almost finished up so you nod, smiling gently before leaving the grocery store, finally getting some peace and quiet. You lean against the wall of the grocery store, watching people pass the grocery store. About twenty minutes later, Peter walks out of the grocery store, holding your grocery bags. He hands you two bags but carries about four. Your boyfriend is Spider-man, and as much as you hate taking advantage of that.. You can’t’ deny how nice his strength is for situations like this.
He shifts the bags around to pull two candy bars out of his pocket—
A Snickers for him, and a standard Hershey bar for you.
You eat your candy as you make the short trip home, not saying much. The candy bar helps, but this looming truth lingers in the air, and you don’t want to be the one to say anything about it. So the pair of you make your way into the apartment, putting away your groceries wordlessly. But in the quiet of your apartment, you stop, suddenly plagued with a new trouble.
“My ears are ringing.”
“What?” It’s not something he’s asking because he did not hear you, but the statement catches him off guard.
“My ears are ringing.” You repeat. He gently takes the oranges out of your hands, scared that you might dig your fingers into them and destroy them half an hour after he picked them out.
“Okay,” he says softly, putting them to the side. “Why don’t you go sit down in the living room while I make some tea and put the groceries away?” He gently prods. Too busy wanting to literally claw off your own ears, you nod and head over to your couch.
Peter’s by your side a few minutes later with a mug of tea on the coffee table. However, it goes quickly forgotten as you climb on top of him, cuddling into him. His hands rub your back gently. You sit like this for a while, until he decides to ask—
“How long have you had trouble with your hearing?” His voice is soft. You reflect for a little while, before responding with a soft,
“A long time, now..” You remember being a teenager and having trouble hearing your friends in the lunchroom and lectures being a nightmare during college. “I think I’ve been just ignoring it for a few years..”
He had a feeling that’s what your answer would have been—you’re rather in tune with yourself, and something like this would’ve been something you picked up on a long time ago. But he doesn’t blame you for ignoring something like this.
“You know we should probably go to an audiologist, right?” He asks.
“Yeah, I know..” You sigh, cuddling into him further, as if you can hide away from the entire world.
“I’ll take you,” he says gently, not wanting you to worry about going alone or being anxious. You’ll be anxious anyways, but maybe he could help. And he will help, his fingers always brushing against your skin, making sure you remember that he’s there and not going anywhere. It’s the best way he can help-- By making sure you’re not alone.
“Thanks..” Your voice breaks, and he frowns, his hand coming to find your cheek, pulling you into his view. The sight of you crying makes his heart squeeze.
“What’s the matter, baby?” He asks softly, his thumb wiping your tears.
“I don’t..” You bite your lip, trying to form the words. You’re not an idiot. You have done some research on Deaf culture. You knew that it was an enhancement, something to be proud of. And that was phenomenal—You had done a lot of courses in college on disability rhetoric, and you knew how important it was to reinforce positive associations with disabilities, as well as the fact that most deaf and hard of hearing people did not consider themselves disabled.
And all that pride lived inside of you—But you couldn’t help your struggle about the subject. It would take time to adjust to, and Peter.. Peter deserved an easy life. He was Spider-Man for Christ’s sake!
“I don’t want you to have to worry about me if it turns out I do have trouble hearing. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
He frowns at this, tilting his head.
“Hey,” he tilts his head, looking at you with admiration. “Did you know when I was adopted by my aunt and uncle they told them I would be a challenge to raise? That my autism and lack of social skills would make me.. harder to love..?”
“You’re not hard to love.” You immediately say, and he smiles.
“I know. My aunt and uncle proved that to me, they went into raising me knowing that I would just have different struggles as other kids my age. Even if you are heard of hearing or deaf—You’re not hard to love. You just have different experiences and struggles from other people our age. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want every part of that journey.” He leans forward and places a kiss on your forehead. It makes you smile a bit. “Now, no more tears. Let’s watch a movie, and we’ll start our research tomorrow, okay?” He hums.
You nod and grab the throw blanket behind him, pulling it across the pair of you as he grabs the remote and turns on your favorite movie. His hands stay on you, rubbing comforting patterns into your skin.
He turns the subtitles on without you asking.
• • •
The audiologist office has lights that are too bright. You and Peter sit side by side, as you look around at the other patients. Your chest tightens as you realize you are surrounded by people in their 70’s and 80’s—Except for you, a twenty something year old, a young boy, around seven, and a teenage girl. You all share similar looks of discomfort, but in your anxiety, you notice that there’s a sense of.. familiarity in seeing people your age here.
You decide to put a pin in your thoughts, as Peter’s hand finds your thigh, and you glance back over to him. In the past two weeks, He’s been giving more physical cues to get your attention, a small way he’s trying to make you feel more comfortable.
“Stop bouncing your leg,” he says softly, “You’re just working yourself up.” He says gently. You nod, and then your name is called, so you gather your things, and before you go, Peter grabs your wrist, before throwing up the sign in ASL for ‘I love you’. You grin and throw it back, before following the nurse into the back.  
Peter waits, for around half an hour, making sure not to draw too much attention to himself. He makes pleasant conversation with two of the older ladies who are there, after finding out that they all grew up in Queens.
After that half hour, you come back out of the back rooms of the office, and Peter grins at you as he says a quick, respectful goodbye to the two older women, before handing you your jacket.
The pair of you stay quiet until you’re out of the office, and only when you’re a few steps away does he slip his jacket on before asking,
“How’d it go?” And with this, he clumsily signs along. The pair of you have been practicing ASL—Short phrases here and there.
You hesitate for an answer, going into your bag and fishing out a small ASL dictionary. Inside, in his sort of messy handwriting, Peter has written you a note that you take a glance at every time you open it. It reads, ‘Don’t forget I love you’, and it never fails to make you smile.
Another challenge you’ve been facing in your journey to learn ASL is your facial expressions—You’ve never been good at properly matching your face to your emotions or words, so it’s been a struggle.
“Fine,” You speak and sign. Then you pause. “Actually, not fine.” You sign, and then you drop the signing, because you’re only a beginner. “It’s sort of what we expected—My hearing is.. bad, and will probably get worse as I age.” His hand finds yours.
“Okay.. What did he say about hearing aids?”
“That If I felt like I needed them to schedule a follow-up.” You tell him. “But they’re expensive and I’ll need to do research to see what sort of health insurance coverage I have.”
He nods gently, his thumb rubbing your knuckles gently.
“Well, we’re gonna cross that bridge when we get there, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He throws up the sign for ‘I love you’. You throw it back. And it might seem stupid, but every time Peter holds up that sign, your heart melts a little bit. Maybe it’s a low bar or something like that—And it’s true. But Peter is learning a whole new language for the sake of making sure you’re comfortable and for your comfort. No one has ever done anything close to that for you.
• • •
Peter has become in tune with your body. Which is a weird way to say it, but it’s true. Those heightened senses of his come in handy, and mostly, he watches for tension in your shoulders and your jaw, perfect indicators that your ears hurt.
Usually, it’s this painful ringing, and usually, Peter just tries to make you as cozy as possible while you ride that out.
But tonight, you’re at a family party, celebrating your sister’s birthday. She’s getting married in a few months, and she’s been so busy with that you haven’t seen a lot of her. Peter holds your gift for her in one hand, and your hand in his with the other.
The party goes well for the most part, you’re just relaxing and hanging out with your family. It’s a nice party, and you’re grateful for your entire family. Your mom holds your nephew in her lap, your sister laughs with your aunts and her fiancé, and your brother and uncle are yapping about some football game.
You, Peter, and your stepdad stand in the kitchen, talking about all sorts of things. Your sister’s wedding, the cruise he just took your mom on, Peter’s recent promotion, and of course..
“Have you considered hearing aids?” Your stepdad asks.
“Yeah, they’re just.. expensive.” You laugh, nervously.
Your stepdad gently taps his own ears, “Well, you’d be part of an elite club.” He grins.
You roll your eyes playfully, before your attention is grabbed by a tugging on the leg of your pants. You glance down, and see your young nephew, gazing up at you with wide eyes.
“What can I do for you, little man?” You ask, a hand coming up to brush hair from his face. He says something you can’t quite make out, so you put your drink on the counter and crouch down to hear him properly, tapping right below your ear, “One more time, bud.”
“Can Peter come play?” He asks, still a little shy around the man you’ve been dating for a while now. You grin and nod,
“Of course he can.” You glance up to Peter, then to your nephew. “What do you wanna play?”
“Dinosaurs.” He requests. So, you pick him up and turn to Peter.
“Peter, our friend here would like to play dinosaurs with you.” You grin.
The way your hair falls into place, the way you hold your nephew close, the way your smile pinches your eyes together.. Peter wishes he could freeze this moment forever because you look perfect.
“Dinosaurs?” he repeats, before grabbing your nephew from you, and then positioning him so that he’s riding on Peter’s back. “Dude, I love dinosaurs!” that’s the last thing you can make out as Peter carries him off to the living room to play dinosaurs. You watch with an affectionate smile, taking small sips of your drink.
“So… Nice kid..” Your mom says as she walks into the kitchen.
You assume she’s talking about your nephew, so you shrug, “He is a good kid.”
“No, I’m talking about Peter.” Your face flushes as you realize where this is going.
“What about Peter?” You hum, looking over to her.
“I’m just saying, I think—”
“You two are gross together.” Your stepdad chimes in, but there’s no malice behind his comment. In fact, you only laugh because it’s something you used to say to them when they started dating.
“Yeah, I know,” You hum. “I really love him.” You confess, before shrugging.
“You know, with your sister’s wedding coming up, I’ve been thinking a lot about—” Your face flushes, as you finish your drink.
“When Peter and I are ready to get married, you two will be the first to know.”
“Oh, so you do wanna marry him.” Your mom smiles. Your face is warmer now.
“I’m gonna go mingle, you two should try minding your own business.”
You find Peter rather quickly, and he just smirks at you, before signing, ‘Talking about marriage?’
You roll your eyes, signing back, ‘Shut up.’ He just puckers his lips and blows a kiss at you. He wants to marry you too.
• • •
After dinner and cake, you sit in your old bedroom, rubbing your ears as you try and come up with an excuse to leave.
Peter finds you a few minutes later and sits next to you on your bed. You lean into him, your eyes heavy from dealing with the ringing you’ve been dealing with.
He gently prompts you to pick your head up before signing, ‘Ringing again?’
You just nod.
“Pete, I wanna go home.” You tell him. Your brother and nephew left a little while ago, and downstairs, your aunts and uncles are getting ready to head home.
“I know, baby. Let’s get you home.” He hums softly. He gently rubs his hand up and down your arm, before pressing a sweet kiss to your neck. Then, one at the base of your ear.
• • •
A few days later, you’re just doing chores around the apartment when your phone buzzes. When you take a minute to glance at it, you find yourself grinning.
It’s the link to an article, sent to you by your mom—Besides Peter, she has been the greatest support through your journey in figuring out you’re hearing. And she knows you have a bias towards Spider-man as far as vigilantes go (wonder why).
The link leads you to a photo of Spider-man, who is swinging across the city, holding up the sign for ‘I love you’. A grin breaks out on your face, just in time for Peter to crawl back into the apartment.
You find him with his mask off as he starts to calm down from a long day, and before he can do much else, you make your way over to him and pull him in for a long kiss.
He hums, his hands finding your waist as your arms wrap around his neck. When you pull away he grins.
“Hi.” He hums.
“Hey..” you smile. “I didn’t know Spider-man knew sign language,” You tease, and he just laughs, a light pink dusting of blush across his cheeks.
“He knows it for you.”
“For me?”
“For you, baby,” he leans in and kisses you gently. His hands begin to travel from your waist to the hem of your shirt, and then up, resting his gloved fingers against the skin of your sides.
• • •
Your hearing aids come in just in time for your sister’s wedding.
You pick them up and hold them in your hands as you go back and forth, worrying. Worrying about Peter not liking them, worrying about breaking them, worrying about everything, really.
But you stand in front of the mirror, and put them on carefully, before turning them on. You take a moment to adjust to how certain sounds are now. The drip of the faucet is more pronounced, and the sounds don’t just melt together like they usually do.
You can even hear Peter shuffling around outside, giving you as much time as you need to process the look and feel of them. When you finally step out, you’re nervous, and he must be able to tell.
“Look at you,” he grins, peering at the hearing aids. “Can we get a spin?” You immediately let out a nervous giggle, and then do a little twirl for him, and he just laughs and claps.
“You like them?” You ask nervously, and he nods.
“Absolutely.” He tells you. He leans in and presses a soft kiss to the side of your head, right next to your hearing aids. “I have something for you.” he tells you, before handing you a small black box. For a moment, you freak out. He probably senses the panic and shakes his head, “Just open it.”
You do, and when you realize what you’re looking at, your heart absolutely melts. It’s a gold star earing that has a chain that hooks onto your hearing aid, and another chain with more star pendants that dangle. It’s gorgeous, and you wonder what you did to deserve him. You lean in and kiss him gently.
“Thank you.” You say softly, and he can tell you’re going to get emotional, so he kisses you again.
“I think you look very pretty.” He hums, “Complete.” You grin and lean in for another kiss.
You’re beginning to feel it, too.
• • •
The morning of your sister’s wedding, you’re texting Peter as your sister gets her makeup done. You’re pretty much all ready, you’re just inclined to stay with her until she needs you.
‘Bug Boy
2:24
Attachment: One Image’
The look of Peter in his suit makes your heart melt.
‘Sugar
2:26
you look very handsome, pete <3’
‘Bug Boy
2:26
Aw, thank you, sugar. Do I get a photo of you or do I have to wait?’
‘Sugar
2:27
nope! gotta wait.’
‘Bug Boy
2:30
: (‘
‘Bug Boy
2:33
How are your hearing aids feeling?’
‘Sugar
2:35
good! they’re helping with all the commotion. i’m glad i got them before the wedding’
‘Bug Boy
2:36
Me too. I love you. See you soon?’
‘Sugar
2:37
see you soon <3 i love you.’
 You wear all black, as per her request, and you ask her a few days before if it’s okay if you wear your hearing aids, mostly because you don’t want the attention on you if you must answer a bunch of questions about your hearing aids.
But she’s more than happy to have you wear them, especially if it means you can hear everything that’s happening, and that your ears won’t ring.
The gold hearing aid jewelry goes well with your outfit, and you’re anxious to see Peter again—You’ve been so busy getting ready and helping your sister get ready that you haven’t given him a chance to see your fancy new outfit.
Just before the ceremony, as your sister is having her first look with her soon to be husband, you manage to sneak away, finding Peter mingling with your extended family, enjoying a drink, and eating some appetizers. Your spider boy and his appetite.
You tap on his shoulder when he’s alone, and he turns and quite literally gasps at the sight of you.
“Look what we have here,” he hummed, his hands running down the sides of your outfit. Then, he puts his drink down and begins to sign while speaking, “You look gorgeous. Your jewelry looks lovely.” He grins.
You blush, before signing back, “You don’t think it looks weird or clunky?”
“No,” He shakes his head, “You’re glowing,” he tells you, leaning into place a soft kiss on your lips.
“I love you,” You sign, “Do you want this?”
Your question catches him off guard, and he signs back,
“What?”
“This,” You gesture to the area around you. “A big wedding.”
His answer is simple but effective—
“I want whatever kind of wedding you want.”
“Even if I want big obnoxious flowers and a big ugly pastry gown?”
“Even if you want all that. Although..” He trails off, shrugging his shoulders.
“Although?” You question.
“I always imagined you in something simple. Something that shows off your features, not outshines them… And now, your little stars and hearing aids to go along with it..” He hums, grinning at your reddening face. “And pink tulips.”
“Pink tulips?”
“To go with the white roses.” He hums. You never really thought of Peter as a guy to have dreams and plans for his wedding, but he’s full of surprises. You know that better than anybody else.
“I love you.” You say softly, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. On your side, the flash of a light goes off and you start to giggle when you realize that one of the many photographers your sister has hired, and you realize that the photos of you and Peter will forever be known as from your sister’s wedding when you were just dating.
“I love you,” he hums as he holds up the sign for it. “How much time do you have before the ceremony starts?”
“Twenty minutes?”
“..Plenty of time.” He has this wicked grin on his face. Your face flushes, before you take his hand, letting him drag you off to a quiet corner of the venue.
“You better not ruin my hair or my makeup, spider boy.”
“I’ll be nice and gentle- I can be mean and rough later.”
“Peter Parker, I swear to god—”
He cuts you off by pressing you against the wall of an elevator, and as the door closes, he runs his fingers over your hearing aids, before pressing another kiss to your lips.
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willowser · 1 year ago
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willow!! same anon as before but im in love w step dad touya i swear!!! his understanding - or lack really - of a parent/child relationship 😭 so he says love you to baby girl and shes beaming and hes looking at you bc theres so much love in your house and he doesnt know what to do tbh! hes never had that! and you're beaming too, looking just like your baby!! omg the thought of him squishing baby girl's cheeks i adore him! 🥹 and the swell of love makes him message fuyumi late at night, nothing much to begin with, just a simple 'hey how are you?' but its enough!! bc even though someone else's kid is so so different from one's own siblings, you and your daughter are showing touya that yes he does know how to love and care!! and he'll pass it onto his siblings bc there's a silly thought that he can redeem himself if he can prove it to them too <3 ee so sorry for the long rambly asks!!
him. messaging fuyumi. dead and dying.
i'm imagining touya and baby-girl on the couch watching some kid movie, just him at your house because you've taken a much needed night out with your friends. and touya really tried to put her to bed earlier, but — he's a goddamn pushover; all it took was a little pleading, a little promising, and then they were splitting a grilled cheese and some juice.
hey, he thinks, at least he didn't give her all of it.
but then comes the time when she's finally passed out, head lolled back, mouth all open as she snores. and touya is beyond ready to lay down in your bed, so the minute he can, he's hopping up from the couch and scooping the kid up in his arms, adjusting her so she's not flinging around everywhere.
and she's seven. not too young, not a baby, but when he enters her quiet room — with her purple curtains and mermaid night-light; her flower rug and massive doll playhouse — he feels a bit serene. he's hugging her to his chest so her head doesn't hang and she's instinctively turned her face into his shirt, and — it's just them.
touya, who never would have dreamed himself in this position, didn't think he wanted it, and now he's being trusted to watch your kid, your everything. now he's holding her carefully and tucking her into her bed and now he's watching as she blinks softly at him.
"love you dabi," she whispers, and she doesn't even care if he answers back; she just says it, because she does, and then she yawns and turns over in her bed.
touya sits on the couch in silence for a long time after that, watching the princess movie play out, and when it's over, he calls his sister without hesitation.
of course she picks up all worried, at this time of night. "touya? is everything okay? are you okay?"
and he rolls his eyes at her, because she's so dramatic. "everything's fine, calm down. a guy can't call his sister every now and then?"
"...touya, you never call me out of the blue."
"well," he shrugs even though she can't see it, "how's it goin'?"
and they talk for a little while, about this and that. catch up on her job and how his sobriety is going, if he's talked to their dad lately, if he's going to. how mom's doing, when natsuo is coming home next, what their plans are as a family for the next holiday.
how his relationship is going.
he's trying to think of how to explain it to her. there's something he wants to ask, but he doesn't even know what it is, how to word it. what he wants to know. he just feels — lost, when it comes to you and your baby-girl and all the love you both have. he's missing something, he thinks, and he needs his sister to explain it to him because she's a goddamn know-it-all.
but headlights flash across the windows and the front door opens slowly, revealing a only-slightly disheveled you. touya snorts at the sight, how you're sort of swaying on your feet, the excitement on your face at seeing he's still awake.
"it's goin' good," he tells her, grinning as you kick of your shoes and loudly whisper 'honey, i'm home!'. "it's goin' really good, fuyumi."
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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 11 months ago
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𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚘𝚕𝚖 - 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸
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Warnings: +18, adult content, semi-erotic content, harsh language, dub-con, mild psychological torture, yandere vibes, slow burn.
Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @aerynscrichton, @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic, @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @adamjf , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch, @whenimakeitshine1234, @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @ripleyswhore
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Chapter 1
“But first” Claudio squeezed the flesh of her hip, making sure to apply enough pressure to make her feel his trimmed nails sinking into her skin. 
It was a silent warning, she could feel the harshness of every word underneath his deadly grip. She would have to be careful with this one, he wasn’t completely under her spell as Mox was. And even though Yuta was dangerous, he was a minor one compared to the bald man. 
She could see it in his eyes, as Claudio slowly released her flesh, that he wouldn’t think twice before hurting her. 
And if she’d like to have any sort of advantage over these men, she would have to get at least two of them on her side. 
“Let’s have our snack before it gets cold” Claudio grinned, his dark eyes sparkled with knowledge and a fake warmness that was meant to give her a false sense of security. 
She knew that look all too well, being familiar with it ever since she was a child, she could sense it from a mile away. This one was smarter than Yuta and Mox together.
This one was going to be responsible for putting her acting skills to the test. 
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Claudio had brought them two grilled cheese sandwiches, a cup of coffee for himself, a cup of orange juice for her, and a small bowl of chopped fruits. Strawberries, kiwis, red and green grapes were the ones she could spot on the top of the porcelain bowl. 
She slightly frowned, these were not only all of her favorite fruits but it was also intriguing to her how they had managed to find kiwi in her town. 
The fruit is typically grown in temperate climates with mild winters and warm summers, and that was the exact opposite climate of her town. 
All of the times she craved to eat the exquisite fruit, she had to drive at least 3 hours to the closest state with a temperate climate so she could find the sweet yet tangy-tasting fruit at the grocery store. 
This was odd, to say the least. It was either an indication that they were distant from her town or that the men who kidnapped her came from somewhere far from where she lived. 
“Do you like kiwis?” Claudio asks, suddenly curious about her apparent fixation over the fruit. 
“Yes,” She nodded, momentarily licking her lips in order to try to fake a nervousness. “It’s one of my favorites…I haven’t eaten it in a long time”
“Well, ain’t today your lucky day?” The smile on Claudio’s lips was spine-chilling, like an owl’s hoot on a winter night. A bad omen for what was yet to come. 
Her eyes found the deer’s head on the wall once again, it whispered softly to her, humming a familiar tune over and over like a broken record. 
She felt it before she could see it, the sweetness followed by the tanginess and slightly acidic taste of the fruit against her lips, her eyes darted down to Claudio’s fingers, which held the piece of fruit against her bottom lip. 
The once-friendly flavor now tasted hostile, aggressive, malicious, and venomous. The man before her had poisoned it with his touch, and nausea began to rise up her throat. 
Staring at the Swiss man who was now face to face with her, she watched as his tongue darted out to collect the juices of the green fruit spread across her lips. She felt it, the warm and rough texture of the muscle tasting her skin. And before she could rationalize what had happened, the man whispered “Lay down”.
Her eyes fixated on his as he spoke:
“I’m going to ask you some questions, and for each correct answer I’ll reward you with some of your favorite fruits” Claudio smiled widely “Let’s begin”. 
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The winter wind blew against her wet skin, prickling and burning her delicate flesh. Uncontrolled shivers run through her entire body, a sharp pain constricts her lungs and pressure begins to install itself in her chest, making her already shallow breath become weaker with each drag of breath in.
Her eyes tingled with the unshed tears and her throat burned with the desire to scream through the howling wind.
“I can see your tears from here, dytyna. You’re not fooling anyone” Mykola laughs, pulling a long drag of his cigarette as she screamed at the top of her lungs “FUCK YOU!”. 
The temper tantrum only served to make her father’s right-hand laugh louder, his combat boots sank into the snow as he squatted down, “Are you feeling better now? Good, now control your emotions from now on. You’re a smart kid, but you let your mind take over and that’s a terrible mistake. The last thing you want is to be your own enemy, got it?”.
She nodded weakly before Mykola snarled “I asked if you got it”
“Dobre, ya zrozumiv.” She answers, shaking violently as another harsh gust of wind hits her wet skin.
The Ukrainian man tossed the cigarette bud on the snow before helping her stand up from the floor, “Let’s get inside, we’re done for today”. Placing a thick blanket around her body, Mykola opened the back door of the warehouse and pushed her inside with him. A fluffy navy blue towel covered her head as he carefully dried her hair, “Can we go near the fire?” She asked with trembling limbs.
“No” Mykola softly pushed her down to sit on the old armchair, “You’re hypothermic, if we do that you’ll die. We need to warm up your body slowly, we’ll stay here for now, and as time goes by we’ll move closer to the fire”.
Mykola “Myko” Kolavenko was her father’s right-hand and her bodyguard ever since she was a child, he was the closest she’d ever get to a fatherly figure, and most of the time even being referred to as so by her. When she was 4 years old, Myko wanted to introduce her to martial arts as a way of discipline and self-defense, but her father completely forbade “Men are supposed to defend and fight, not women! I don’t want her to become a tomboy, Myko. She will fit the role God created her for, which is a woman who will be a wife, a mother, a nurturing figure” Was her father’s first and last statement about the subject.
After finding her in the kitchen crying over her father’s response, Myko sat beside her on the table, dried her tears, and whispered “Your father didn’t let us train your body, but he didn’t say we can’t train your mind”.
“What do you mean?” She looked up at him, hope written all over her innocent eyes.
“Means you’ll be able to beat me at poker” Myko winked, which made her giggle.
The memory made her smile and from the armchair, her eyes now settled on his wrinkled face. “Do you think I’m able to beat you at poker now?” She joked, teeth chattering as Myko placed another heavy blanket around her body.
The man chuckled, pulling an old chair in front of her so they could seat face to face, “Absolutely fucking not. At least not yet, you still have a long way to go before I even allow you near a poker table”.
“Why?” She frowned
“Because I don’t want to lose money” Myko winks with a smirk. He grabs a whisky glass and fills it to the brim with the amber liquid.
“Do you think I’ll ever be able to do it, Myko? To control my mind, I mean. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck like it’s all for nothing. I don’t think I’m having any progress at all, and it’s fucking frustrating”.
Myko took a big gulp of the whisky and let the all too familiar burning feeling settle in his throat. “Training the body is easier than training the mind. After a few years of training you kill the receptive nerves of pain in your body and well, you become basically painless. Meaning it doesn’t distract you anymore, someone can punch you in the face and it won’t shock you or disorient you. Now the mind is way more problematic because it’s in constant change, as you grow older your mind and perception change and you have to adapt to a completely different reality. Compare yourself from 6 months ago to now, you’ve changed so much in here” Myko tapped her left temple, “And it will happen again 6 months from now, so you have to be able to adapt to everything, dytyna, because you never know what’s going to happen. The reason why I put you outside on a winter night in Kyiv and wetted your skin is to start to accustom your mind to be in uncomfortable and under pressure sceneries because that’s when your whole system becomes alert. Emotions appear all at once, your mind races due to stress, pain, and despair, and you either shut down or do something really stupid that will have catastrophic consequences so you have to learn how to act during times like this.
“You will register your feelings, your thoughts of despair and agony, but they won’t be what drive and guide you anymore because you’ll control them not the other way around. That’s the most valuable lesson you have yet to learn, divchynka. Control your mind before it controls you because if that happens, you’re doomed. Completely fucked”.
Myko grabbed another glass of whisky and filled it with the equivalent of two shot glasses, he handed the glass to her and she frowned in confusion. “It’ll be our secret” He winked as she took the cup in her hand.
“Here’s to not being completely fucked” Myko clicked their glasses together before smiling fondly “Happy 16th birthday”.
“Thank you” She smiled back, a hint of sadness hid behind her soft smile, “And thank you for not letting me spend today alone…it means a lot”.
“You can always count on me, dytyna. Even when I’m not there”.
And as the warm tears rolled down her cheeks, she felt Myko’s arms pulling her closer to a tight embrace.
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Would Myko be proud of her? Not only of the adult woman she became but mostly of her approach to what was currently happening? Would he be proud of her Machiavelli-like persuasion, of her theatrical skills, and what about her ability to be cohesive? If he could see her now would he applaud her choices or curse her through her less appealing tactics?
“Everyone can lie, dytyna. But a valley is what separates a liar from a good liar. And a bridge is what separates a good liar from a magnificent liar. And that’s who you’re aiming to be: a magnificent liar. To a point where no one, not even me, can tell apart a truth from a lie”.
And that she had successfully achieved, if there was one thing she had learned from Myko from a very young age was to be a terrific liar.
That is her advantage over the Swiss man before her, he can have the wits and the strength, but she has the biggest advantage of all time: she knows how to lie.
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