#im going to be very scared. i have no way to access any kind of mental health care atm

[sadistcoyote]

.

[genderkoolaid]

expand on ur "mental asylum Marxism shit" thing about children & grief?? from what you've said im pretty sure i will relate from my own experiences as a grieving child. also it sounds interesting!!

so i was thinking about how weird it is that, when a child has to deal with the death of a loved one, they say something like "no child should have to go through this! no child should have to even think about death!" which strikes me as weird because i was a child who dealt with the deaths of multiple close family members, very close together. the first was my great-grandmother, who i lived with and who was my best friend. death was never foreign to me (my mom has always been very death-positive on top of all that). grief was just part of my life like everything else was.

but i realized that its because people think childhood should not have any flaws. you should be 100% happy and fulfilled all the time. any time a child experiences anything painful, its bad. not "children should have access to love and support," but "children should not have basic life experiences because the idea of childhood being anything other than fluffy purity scares me."

because children in society are fundamentally not people. especially in a society structured around christian beliefs in natural law theory, that what is natural = what is good, healthy, and Divinely commanded. so on top of children being the property of adults, they are also forced to be the symbols of Nature. whatever is the most useful to whoever needs them. which means we built up this idea of children as tabula rasas, pureness incarnate. like a magic mirror where if we look into it, we'll be able to catch a glimpse of the true face of humanity. every single thing children do can be scrutinized for some grand truth about humans as a whole. and then, the ways children are treated also reflect how we think humanity should interact with its own nature.

example: the idea of humanity as inherently sinful and wicked, with that urge needing to be suppressed through state violence (hello hobbes) = the idea that children are annoying and shitty on purpose and need to be forced via punishment into being Good Citizens.

this is also why children cannot be trans, even though all trans people must prove that we were trans children. being queer must be unnatural; and even if not, its inherently sexual, and sexuality is dirty and bad. so children can't be trans, and they also can't read books on puberty until their parents decide when and what exactly they are allowed to learn. child victims of sexual assault only matter to the extent that they can be used as a symbol of a cultural threat; calling Jewish or trans people pedophiles means saying that they are foreigners attacking basic human nature, and indirectly, Divine command. if you aren't the right kind of victim, or when you inevitably reveal yourself to be A Person with complicated experiences and opinions, you are no longer of use to the agenda.

it sucks that bad things happen to anyone. aspects of youth can exacerbate the pain sometimes, but sometimes it does the reverse: I wish I could have spent more time with the family members I lost, but I know other people who are glad they loss family members young, because they weren't really hurt by it. I think the main thing is that, even sometimes when we talk about our past selves, we project this cultural idea of Child As Purity and ignore the actual person having the experience. when we "empathize" with children by projecting Purity onto them, we aren't actually connecting with them.

[brainrot-stitch]

AHAAA I FINISHED IT WOAHHH i usually don't finish art things omg...

Anyways current sabre design!!! (It will probably change bc I can NEVER make up my mind on any design ever sob)

He's such a goof :3 (IM NEVER DRAWING THAT RAINBOW ELYTRA AGAIN IM CRYING)

Anyways some headcanons below cuz I feel like yapping :3

-rainbow totally would have gotten him and sabre friendship necklaces (yk the matching kind with magnets that come together n all) and after knowing lucas for a bit he woulda made friendship bracelets !!

-like that one person I reblogged said, he's such a mad scientist he's so silly omgg

-i love the reincarnation au SO MUCH its literally fire but in normal headcanons I think he used to be part of the creed and an assasin and ermm

Basically I headcanon his whole assassins creed series was basically his backstory before starting to do research on these 'steve' entities

-when nervous/anxious his footsteps will be completely silent out of habit from the whole assassin thing, and he'd obviously do it when purposefully trying to sneak (he has probably scared rainbow or Lucas multiple times by doing this..)

-I'm not sure weather to headcanon that his wings were damaged by a steve really early on in the steve saga (like before rainbow could speak or maybe when dark was still pretending to be blue) or if it was smth that happened when he was still an assassin but it's one of those!!!

-hes an avian.. heh... if u couldn't tell from the ref sheet.. but NOT a chicken!! The chicken jokes are just bc of the hoodie and bc his feathers look a lil similar :3

-he has like 2 of the same chicken hoodie he'll wear most often but still has some normal outfits AND assassins outfits and weapons he keeps away (most are green or have some sort of green in them heh.. I might draw that later)

-ok ok ok I have so many eye headcanons it's so hrggrrrrh the main one tho is one I snatched from the reincarnation au and that's that he doesn't have eyes!! Bc of an injury or sum and he js says he has sensitive eyes and the bandana fabric is see through up close.. but he can still see bc he's a player and the way players work is weird. Other headcanon, green eyes. Other headcanon, brown eyes. Other headcanon, heterachromia green and brown eyes. Other headcanon pure white eyes. Other headcanon code eyes. Other headcanon (gets hit by a bus)

-if we r going with the reincarnation au for the eyes, I feel like only rainbow and Lucas would know, if we're going with the others, I'd say rainbow, Lucas, Alex, galaxy, and maybe the guardian (I forgot if that's what he was called or not) would know. If we're going with the code eyes, then only lucas would know

-not sabre specifically but I feel like steves in general wouldn't be very used to or know but about blood/gore stuff, bc they're more used to being destroyed/poofing, and later on being destroyed through a machine. Being actually killed by a sword or something of the sort they are not used to seeing, and are very touchy on the subject

-on that note I imagine if there's like a steve that's immune to most or all other steve powers and or machines that they're trying to get rid of and arguing on what to so abt I imagine sabre being like "oh 1 sec I got this" and boom that mf DEAD 😭

-and they'd b like 😰

"Guess we're gonna have to kill this guy sabre" "damn"

-ermmm silly billy activity...

-I feel like he'd know a lot more than the other steves on things like the nether and end (not end city tho that's a whole other mc headcanon I don't feel like yapping abt rn) bc those are the dimensions players have access too and steves usually dont.. so they'd b like "WTF SABRE WHAT R U DOING THAT IS A LITERAL HELLSCAPE WITH LAKES OF FIRE AND MONSTERS WEVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE FYM U CAN GET 'NETHERITE' THERE" and he'd b like "well don't go in the fire then and it anything attacks u kill it ig" (not actually sob.. I feel like only he and Lucas would go there bc most steves r hindered greatly by lava and the only ones we've seen that aren't are bad guys if my memory is correct)

Ermm I have more but I'm eepy and can't remember so those r for another day!!!

Reblogs>likes

Don't post my art to other platforms without my permission pls x3

[thatdeadaquarius]

Heyo, Idk if you still do sagau but I hope you do 🙏🙏 anyway, this is lowkey wholesome but imagine one of acolytes were trying to communicate with a child but then they realize the child is deaf but reader so happened to be nearby. So then, whatever the character is saying the reader translates into sign language and its just a wholesome sight to see. Btw srry if this isn't what you usually write 😓 add anything to this if you want

OH NO THIS IS EXACTLY ALL THAT I WRITE RN ANON DW MY LOVE 😍

(*update: im so stupid i thought ur sunglasses pfp was a anon and didnt look any closer💀i aint livin this one down)

(Spoiler: i do plan to do imagines for other fandoms bc i have such niche AUs or ideas for them, a lot like this whole language stuff for Genshin Sagau :D )

IVE WANTED TO LEARN ASL FOR SO LONG BUT I HAVENT GOTTEN THE CHANCEEE theres no classes for it where i live ;/

THAT IS TO SAY I LIVEEE FOR COMMUNICATION STUFFFFF

Also srry its kinda short i just could only think of this cute little scenario- 😗

Rest in peace bc i have a whole fat post i wanna make about neurodivergence + general accessibility issues in Teyvat and their countries

Like where r the ramps babe

Where r the non-narrow ass doors

Why r we just constantly made to hike up mountains when we dont have to

And dont come at me with that,

"Theyre in their medieval age! They cant make stuff like that!"

Yeah, u right, they cant.

If they dont be ✨️creative ✨️and they dont use their fucking ✨️magic ✨️

Liyue got floating rocks and they cant make a goddamn disability elevator?? Bitch tf?

THAT IS TO SAY IN A VERY RANTING COUGHPASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT GENSHIN COMMUNITY FOR NOT REPPING DISABILITIES MORECOUGH

WAY OF SAYINGGGG

Literally almost no one gets sign language in Teyvat

(despite the fact that in my perfect teyvat, sign lang. is superior bc everyone could make it the universal lang. ESP if we go by the cool AU of diff countries have diff languages, like Germanish lang for Mondstadt, Frenchish for Fontaine, etc.)

Off topic again srry-

◇

But you took a class once!! Or even checked out the alphabet and casual convo on ur own time :D

So u just chillin with Kazuha, Thoma, Sara, Gorou, and Kokomi (they vistin the main island to see u!! :] )

Meanwhile a little girl is walking around nearby, and is kinda going in circles

Almost like shes scared to go too far one way or the other,

So being the caring soul he is, (rlly all these boys here rn would notice and help lol)

Thoma comes up to her and squats down trying to talk to her :)

...

Yeah, she didn't say anything, just kinda,,

Motioned with her hands??

She looks like shes doing some kind of code to them..

Oh!

Thoma finally recognized this, its that hand language!! lmao hes got the spirit

so he asks Kazuha to try and see if he knows it or can even figure it out-

Nope. Nada de nada.

Then Kokomi, Sara and Gorou (whos a sweatin nervous mess he doesnt know how to act around kids esp kids in distress he seems like the type lol)

They all fail, Kokomi looks concerned bc she thinks the kids lost, but there no frantic parents nearby, Sara is trying to slowly understand what motions mean what i.e. points to a rock = learn sign from child etc,

Kazuha is trying to get the wind to help locate upset guardians nearby, and Gorou...

... is just 🧍‍♂️

LMAOOO

◇

So after a minute of this (bc u had originally been away at a street food vender, hey those dango were rlly good dont judge urself)

U come back, and see this mild flavor of chaos-

And are just like

"Oh ffs- just shoo, i got it guys"

And just, slowly, go thru some signs with the little girl to get the keywords at least

She lights up and is like bouncing, she goes hella fast at first but slows down when she gets ur hearing

Either way, she looks a lot happier now

U explain for her to the others to confirm her parents got seperated from her

She got lost and where she last saw them

u finally help escort her to the street she last saw her parents on :] !!

◇

Meanwhile the whole allogene group, shopkeepers, and Inazumans around you:

😦😯🥰🥺💓💞💘💖

Kokomi is holding back a squeal, shes gotta keep up her image, ahem-

Sara is like,, minutely vibrating?? Lmao

Kazuha is watching u like a fireworks show, intensely and yet fascinated

GOROU'S TAIL IS KINDA WAGGINGGG AW LOL

And Thoma just looks like a puddle of affection, just absolutely melted (he loves kids + he secretly loves you = dead Thoma)

Other people look weirdly, proud? Like theyre like "yeah thats our god, fuck yeah, knowing diff languages, go off, Your Grace 💅 " LMAO SORRY COULDNT RESIST and also some fascination

♡

Anyway, 2 very stressed looking dads see yall and the girl and one of them run up to hold each other

She starts rapidly signing, explaining to her dads the adventure she had and the cool people she met <3

The dads look at u and r like 🤔😶😱 "YOUR MAJESTY??!!" (VIGOROUS HAND MOTIONS)

They sign like,

"We're terribly sorry about you seeing us like this, we usually are much more together than this, a crowd just swept her off, its very busy today. Thank you so much for helping our girl, my Lord!! 😭😭"

Theyre like almost crying, oh geez, u reassure them and sign back that it happens to any parent at some point and that is matters more that they tried to get her back :]

◇

Meanwhile the rest of the group and the citizens are just watching yall like its the most amazing Olympic level tennis match in the world LMAO

Heads all in sync, watchin yall like 👋👍🙏LMAO IM SORRY

AW IT SUCKS ABOUT WRITING BC I CANT RLLY DEPICT SIGN LANGUAGE AS COOL AS I CAN IN COMICS OR THRU ART

THE EMOJI HANDS NEED SIGN LANGUAGE DAMMIT-

♡

🎵 Hi, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me. 🎵

That is to say none of yalls asks r eaten up, at least im pretty sure? Dw abt it im chugging along having the time of my life hehe >:)

Yall are fEEDIN ME TONIGHT!!

Hope yall r having a good weekend and have no hw if ur in school, or i hope ur shift goes good tomorrow! :]

Love yall!!

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[kenthenugget]

Dear Watcher....

This is going to be about the youtube channel Watcher and a recent video that they released earlier today, so if you dont watch the channel, or older content produced by Ryan, Shane and Steven at Buzzfeed, this is not going to make sense to you. This only going to be for those who are a fan of Watcher, or are fans of Buzzfeed Unsolved so if you are, that's great!

Earlier today, I got a video notifcation from the channel titled, "goodbye youtube", and it was definitely not something I wanted to see. There is a recent trend this year of youtubers retiring or taking a break this year and I was scared this was that scenario. And it kind of was but way worse. Basically, the guys over at Watcher are going to be posting on their new streaming service called....Watcher. And, no, it is not a late April Fools joke, that's actually what their doing. Initially, I was in a state of shock after I watched through the entire video. I, no joke, went through the 5 stages of grief upon viewing this announcement and was thrown through a loop to where I struggled to focus on sketching one of my comic pages. So much so that I actually made a deviant blog post about it the moment I finished watching the video (most of the content from this post will be copied and pasted from that blog so declaimer I guess). After having some time to absorb this information, I have to say that Im really disappointed with the guys over at Watcher. Like Im not mad to where Im completely done with their content but.......WHY!?

I think at this point in time that a lot of people, myself included, are burnout with the whole streaming boom we've had for the past 5 years in no part thanks to those greedy bastards at Disney....but thats another story. I miss the days when there were only 2 to 3 main streaming services and not 5 billion other services that you need to buy in order to watch a show you like that was on Netflix but it now locked behind a pay wall. Streaming services used by a novelty concept but are now not looked upon in the best light. So for the them to announce a streaming service now is definitely a bad look, especially because the content before was free to access. I feel like creators will always have an uphill battle when it comes to content that was initially free being locked behind a paywall, because you're potentially isolating your audience and bringing up the question of weather your audience if loyal enough to give you money to enjoy your content. Now, like I said, I love and respect the people at Watcher, but I dont know if I'm willing to take money out of my wallet to watch the next season of Ghost Files. Especially in this economy, where in some parts of the country a big mac now costs 20 fucking dollars, and with inflation going out of control.

Now its not like I don't understand why they're doing this. Ever since its founding in 2019, Watcher has always had troubles with money, with most of their shows not being profitable enough to make ends meet (I know that sounds bs because most of their vidoes get millions of views but this is coming from one of the founders Steven, in an update video from a while ago so idk, views probably mean jack shit in the grand scheme of things). And the fact that they started around the pandemic didn't help things either. Unlike Buzzfeed, Watcher is a much smaller company so any loss that happens is felt much more than if it was a larger one. In the video itself, they mentioned that most of their money came through youtube ads and sponsorships, which, while alright if you're an independent creator, may not be enough for a company. And then there's the fact that YouTube can remove or demonetize videos out of nowhere and for the dumbest reasons so its not a very stable sight to base your income off of. So I can understand why they felt moving on from YouTube was a good idea. But..........I think there were better ways of going about it than creating their own fucking streaming service. Like, in one of their update vidoes, they said most of their shows werent making ends meet so maybe cutting back on the production of said shows to make them not as expensive to produce would be a good solution. In their announcement vid, they talked about wanting to maintain their high production value for their shows without going under but (and I dont mean this to slight them) I dont think they understand why they popped off in the first place. For me, Im not watching Ghost Files or Mystery Files for high production value and fancy graphics, Im there for Ryan and Shane. Same reason I loved Buzzfeed Unsolved, which compared to those shows is much more bare bones. I get wanting to step up your production value from what you had at Buzzfeed but if you have budget out in certain places which would entail having a season that doesnt look as good as the previous season, that's completely fine. Im sure me and the rest of fans wouldn't have minded a downgrade because at the end of the day, the fancy sets and graphics are window dressing to why we're truly watching.

I also thinking letting us know ahead of time would've possibly softened the blow. Watcher is in a very interesting situation because there's a much closer relationship between them and their customer base as opposed to traditional companies. So they really could've been like "hey! We're thinking about having future content be on our own streaming service because doing business through YouTube is fucking us over. What do you guys think?". One explanation as to why they waited until now instead of a few months ago when this idea was sparked could've been because they knew they would get backlash and they were going ahead with the streaming service idea regardless of fan input, which might be the reason. But if that's the case, they probably would've had the comments and likes disabled from the start. Right before I started typing this, I checked the video to see if the comments were disabled and they are thankfully still there. Im someone who always wants to see the good in people (which is definitely a character flaw of mine and while defiently lead to me being at the end of an abusive relationship........another abusive relationship but lets not go there), so I think this might be the case of Ryan, Shane and Steven, thinking the streaming service was a good idea and not reading the room properly.

At this point, Im hoping that they dont do things that could make this situation 10 times worse: a) removing the existing content (Mystery Files, Puppet History, etc) off the youtube channel and having it on their streaming service. If you are going to have new seasons of those shows behind a paywall, at least have that content still up for those who want to support but cant purchase the service......b) respond to the critism in a negative way. I think things would be made worse if they lumped genuine fans who are concerned with the new direction with the trolls and haters, and double down on this new direction. Im hoping this situation ends up being a slip up that they can learn from and not being the beginning of the downfall of the Watcher gang. No joke, I think Ryan and Shane are the only youtubers who have avoided any sort of drama up to now. Youtubers I once respected over the years from Tobuscus to Leafyishere to H3H3 to Idubbz to even fucking Dream have all fell from grace in one way or another, and Im hoping the ghoul boys dont join that list....

[antia-calviz]

Genuine question, where did you learn to draw? I get that tons and tons of practice helps and all that but where did you learn to understand coloring and shading and lighting and anatomy and all that? Did you watch certain youtube videos? did you take a course? Did you go to art school? did you read certain books?

I adore your art, by the way. You are awesome. Have a good one.

thank u so much for your interest and for the compliment! this is gonna be a bit long but bear with me

im mostly self taught, however ive had the privilege of going to art school (animation and digital arts) + i got a full scholarship to take a masters degree in concept art and storyboard, so its really been a mixture of both. ive been lucky enough to have great teachers along the way, but the "tons of practice" is like 90% of what will make you a good artist

i think the most valuable part of art school is the people you meet / the networking. not everyone i went to school with had talent or even drive, and many talented people i work with today didnt go to art school. art skills can be learned by anyone, but it does take a lot of time and effort.

about my specific experience when learning skills like color, lighting anatomy etc :

color:

i used to be very scared/intimidated by color, but what made it more accessible were those color pallette challenges from back in the day, where people would pick a pallette and a character and you had to make it work. so, in this case limitations helped me undestand many things.

i still dont feel like i have the best grip on color theory yet, my use of color has always been very intuitive which is not the best. however having a color wheel is always handy. This one is my favorite. It even has options as to which kind of combinations you can use (Triads, Complementary colors, Adjacent, etc,). using the color wheel is a way to ensure your colors are always in harmony.

shading/ lighting:

lighting is quite the topic. i had a teacher who was a director of photography for stop motion and he mostly taught us traditional photography terminology such as this. The same terms and concepts apply to painting, so getting familiar with these can help you understand different kinds of light and what theyre commonly used for.

studying the masters is a must. throughout art history there have been artists that became legends for their specific and often disruptive use of lighting. off the top of my head, some artists that master lighting are: rembrandt, joaquin sorolla, vermeer, john singer sargent, maxfield parrish, caravaggio, etc. There are many excellent contemporary painters, if it's any help, i like to collect ref and inspiration in my insp blog.

animation color scripts can also help understand how to sythetize light in drawing AND especially to use lighting to evoke emotion.

anatomy:

there are a trillion options on studying anatomy from books, which i feel are very helpful when you need to understand how bones and muscles work. I dont have a particular rec for this, but most are accessible in bookstores/libraries and will give you a decent notion of the mechanics of the human body. same goes for animal anatomy.

anatomy is one of the fundamentals that you need to practice most. figure drawing and gesture drawing are two great ways to practice. theyre not the same thing, but complementary. figure drawing focuses on anatomy, proportion, line of action, while gesture drawing focuses of the action of a person (what they are doing, how they are doing it, and what they might be feeling while doing it).

a live sketching session with a model (preferably nude) is one of the best ways to learn, however this option is not very accesible so here are a few alternatives.

going outside and sitting at a cafe, at a park, airport, public transport or any public setting where people gather is a great way to practice. since people are always moving and shifting, this tecnique will make you focus on drawing loosely and quickly. and after a few sessions youll notice you start to focus on capturing the essence of the pose, the proportions and the general gesture of the person youre drawing. this will help you synthesize better and quicker.

another thing that works well (and is even more accessible) is sitting down with your sketchbook or tablet and sketching times poses from Line of Action, its quick and easy and even 10 - 15 minutes of practice a day will make your anatomy skills improve a lot.

A few useful books (these are animation oriented, but art fundamentals nonetheless) :

Color and Light by James Gurney

Framed Ink + Framed Ink 2 by Marcos Mateu-Mestre

Layout & Composition for Animation by Ed Ghertner

How to Draw a Character The Foolproof Method by Soizic Mouton

The Complete Color Harmony, Pantone Edition Expert Color Information for Professional Results by Leatrice Eiseman

Learn from 100 Famous Artists by 21 Draw

How to Draw drawing and sketching objects and environments from your imagination by Scott Robertson and Thomas Bertling

The Character Designer by 21 Draw

The illusion of life Disney animation by Frank Thomas, Ollie Johnston (this one is mostly abt animation, but having an animation background can influence the way you draw, so depends on what you want)

The Silver Way Techniques, Tips, and Tutorials for Effective Character Design by Stephen Silver

100 Tuesday Tips by Griz and Norm

i have most if not all of these in pdf, if anyone's interested i could send a .zip with the files via email :)

i hope this helps!! if you have any other questions im happy to answer! happy drawing!

[cg-saturn]

as someone with a hard time voluntarily regressing, do you have advice?

the last time i tried it took me three hours and five coloring pages and a whole season of bluey </3

all the websites i looked at were like "get your paci" a=but i don't have any gear to make me feel small

Hey kiddo!

I know it can be hard to regress sometimes for whatever reason- maybe you've been too stressed, too busy, or just having a little block the same way artists or writers sometimes have. But I promise, you are still a valid little even if you struggle with regression at times.

Regression can come in so many different ways for people that it can be hard to give a definitive answer of how to make regression easier for you specifically, but I do know for some people who don't have the ability to own gear for any reason (living or financial situations) it can be even harder. So Star and I decided to come up with a little list of activities that can help with both! If anyone has any ideas or questions, please reblog and we'll add/answer what we can!

For kiddos who don't have gear because of living situations-

Legos- these are a great toys that can be bought in "adult" type sets, and many people don't question having Legos as a hobby no matter what age you are! Make yourself a little castle, or your own creations!

Magnets- I've always loved playing with magnets! You can get packs of bead magnets for fidgits and sounds, or even just play with the invisible force between two refrigerator magnets!

Playdough/slime - you can buy it or look up some easy at home recipes! Make it your favorite color, and add some glitter or beads to it for a textured play!

Tangles/figdgit toys- I've always loved fidgit toys, but some of them can secretly act as chewies/pacis too depending on textures!

Childhood movies- now that streaming is more avalible, it's pretty easy to access some movies from our childhoods! Personally I love the old animation of Disney movies, but there's also Scooby-Doo and all sorts of other cartoon network shows on hbo and Netflix!

Stuffie party- gather all of your pals and make a big circle on your bed or the floor, and enjoy their company! Ask them about their days, what did they get up to while you were out?

Kids apps- im planning to make a larger post about these in the future, but there are tons of apps that can help the regression process, and it's easier to hide if you're scared of people finding out.

Agere blogs- this one is kind of silly, but I think sometimes it can help a lot to scroll through some blogs that post outfit boards and soft little things! It can help to know you're not alone in your regression too, and maybe you can meet some friends who will help you in the future!

For kiddos who don't have gear because of financials-

Baby Einstein YouTube- if you don't remember Baby Einstein, it used to be a DVD series on learning for kids! They've moved to YouTube, and you can listen to various songs and watch different shapes and colors, it's very relaxing! You can do the same with clips from shows like sesame street.

Tell a story / madlibs- making things up and being creative is a great way to open your little mind. Telling a story about the unicorn who lives in the woods, or making up a silly madlib about the purple horse who jumped the tree. Make up the silliest story you can, don't worry about it making any sense, that's the whole fun of it!

Kids music- you can find playlists on YouTube and spotify for kids music! You can go from instrumental to learning songs like "wheels on the bus"!

Play with textures- at work we have sensory buckets for the kids. Put sand or rice or glitter in a bowl, mix in some beads, bells, cotton balls, or whatever other fun textured things you have around. Just put your hands in it and explore! Take time to touch every texture, try to focus on objects like it was your very first time seeing it!

Blanket fort- take the pillows off the couch, move your kitchen chairs around, take off your sheet if you need to! Make yourself a little oasis, snuggle up, and enjoy the small feelings!

I spy / where's Waldo games- you can play with books, apps, or even just with a friend in real life! I love to play with Star, it puts them in little space almost immediately as they frantically search for "something orange"!

Wear mismatched clothes- I've always believed that matching socks are bad luck in general, but I also think there's something about not having high fashion can help regression tons! Don't worry about the stereotypes of pigtails and overalls, wear those silly leggings and the oversized t-shirt with holes in it! Wear a sock up to your knee and one down to your ankle if that's what feels right! Clothes deserve to be a comfortable reflection of how you feel!

Remember, Littlespace is just like any other mindset. It doesn't matter what you do or don't have, as long as you're enjoying some childlike wonder again. You're just a lil kiddo! That's all it comes down to. Remind yourself that you're valid for healing your inner child and letting yourself enjoy things, you deserve to be a little angel again. Do things just because you want to, just because you're curious, just because it looks good, soft, whatever. Being a kid is learning everything for what feels like the first time no matter how many times you've learned it before. You deserve to experience things for the first time again, to relax, and to heal.

Sending love and always wishing you the best!

Pippi Saturn 💕

[dgknightblue]

So there is this AU swimming in my head where RVB characters are from different time periods and gets dumped into some place and are forced to interact.

Im not too sure on exact time periods for them, but an approximation of them.

But who is from the future, Wild West, and stuff?

Carolina and Church are future people trying to do something I don’t know what and accidentally pulled people at first before doing it on purpose kind of.

The people they pull they don’t get to choose who fits into what they are looking for.

But things….

All of our lovely sims are in the cast with a few of the freelancers.

Simmons is a trans man stuck in an era that doesn’t support him. He gets pulled after he finally runs a way. Well he was born with one leg and he kind of got hurt so he was bleeding pretty bad. Yeah he was a mess on the floor. He was scared and begged them not to hurt him or drag him back to his father.

I’m thinking he’s a lower aristocrat’s only child that was out of wedlock during a time of arranged marriages and stuff. He has his mother’s knife that his cousin gave him before going overseas for war. His father tells him that he’ll be marrying some merchant’s son named Gene or whatever and be grateful. He hates it and he feels bad being called his name. He likes his grandfathers name more.

Blugh what an xss!

Once he finally calms down and gets patched up, he accepts what’s happening and loves all the mechanisms he’s never seen before.

They all catch on to what he doesn’t see and don’t know what to do. Except Sarge, Kai, Donut, and Grif.

Sarge boasts about doing his own top surgery before growing a beard and enlisting into the army. Simmons finds himself drawn in and in full admiration for some reason.

Kai has Grif’s support, they would absolutely know how to get him accept little things to get him warmed up to the idea of him being him.

Donut is full of support and advice and is very friendly!

They get Simmons out of his shell enough to see his eyes sparkle some times. Sarge makes Grif Simmons’ personal carrier since they don’t have access to a wheelchair.

Grif is just glad Kai and Donut convinced Simmons it was okay to wear pants. He’d trip over that long xss dress that didn’t belong any where near Simmons.

So they end up spending a lot of time together and even sneak off. I can imagine them in the shallows of water at night talking and Grif teaching Simmons how to swim.

They get real close and Tucker and Kai and Donut try to spy on them sometimes. They individually have to cover each others mouths so they don’t blow their cover just to scream , “JUST FXCKING KISS ALREADY!!! DXMN IT!!!”.

Eventually as other things happen Sarge is more than happy to reintroduce Simmons to the group.

When Simmons gets a prosthetic leg, he gets so excited and runs up to Grif and pulls him a way to do what they usually do but Grif doesn’t have to care him any more!

He can still carry him once in a while though <3

On to other people….

Wash gets trauma sometime before getting pulled but I’m not sure which era and what gives him PTSD.

I know I said I was moving on to other people, I want to say this:

Simmons can cook really good, his father thought that was beneath an elite individual and banned him from going to the kitchen ever again.

Tricks and skills he’s learned:

Piano, violin, proper etiquette, dancing, knife things from his cousin, cooking from his mom, sewing from his grandmother, poison and plants from his grandfather.

The only one that has a problem with Simmons is his father and literally has no reason or excuse to be. Too bad Simmons got stuck with his dad being the only family member he had beside his grandmother. She refuses to die simply for Simmons sake until she gets murdered passes from natural causes.

She was actually the only reason he stayed after his cousin was considered KIA. Never found the body though. It’s been years, where did you go?

Simmons finds a book no one listens to him explain. (It’s the manual, for what? Something he has control of now :3) They are in for a surprise :3

Simmons is his cousin’s last name.

Anyways, I don’t want to separate Grif from pizza so he is in time period where there is pizza even if it’s one of the early versions that’s actually called pizza.

He found a thing called Oreos and worship them.

He also wants to kiss Simmons so fxcking bad, but doesn’t see all the signs. Simmons has no personal space with Grif and only Grif. Kai sticks to Simmons side at first to help him out and gradually slides farther a way to help her brother.

One night they find alcohol and they all talk.

They learn Simmons has more unwanted experience than wanted and that the only one that is considered experience (because it was wanted) is Simmons eating a girl out. Simmons is Bi.

Simmons invites Wash to the virgin club along with Doc. Wash declines and Doc agrees.

Tucker has Junior beside him sleeping. His baby boy <3

Carolina and Church still trying to figure out some bull crxp with the unground lab on the island they are on. Some are not helping like they think they are. Caboose.

The library in the villa is where Simmons is during the day when he isn’t with Grif.

Caboose, Donut, Lopez are sometimes making sandcastles competing with Tucker, Junior, Kai.

Grif is in the kitchen making food for Simmons and him when Simmons is in the library.

Wash is training with Sarge and whoever else from the freelancer group I haven’t a clue.

When Locus and Flex show up as antagonists somehow Locus enters the fold. He tries not to get too close to Simmons, Kai, or Junior for reasons.

Donut definitely didn’t throw a water balloon at Grif’s head from across the beach for revenge and spite.

Doc and Dr. Grey are having lessons on being a good doctor when she shows up.

Eventually things pick up when Temple and his (small) group + Zealot soldiers do the thing that start the problems that got them all stuck together.

When things get bad, Simmons realized what the book he found goes to. He summons Tex kind of and he’s under her protection now. He is also learning coding and glad he doesn’t have to go back to his era. He doesn’t exist until now after all.

Learning his cousin becomes the kings advisor was a shock, but he’s glad they are okay.

I didn’t write for everyone because I got stuck at Grimmons moments <3

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: underage nude sharing, underage erotic roleplay, underage sexting, possible victim blaming, discussions of rape and molestation

hi! im seeking support, reassurance, and resources, mostly. but i also just want to get a few things off my chest. ever since i was seven i would engage in erotic roleplay often involving rape and non consensual scenarios with much older guys. i didn't really know what i was doing, i was a very hypersexual child for reasons unknown to me and i didnt have any outlet other than social media. for some reason i was obsessed with the idea of being raped and molested, i feel really ashamed about that still. i felt really gross after doing it but i kept going back anyway. when my parents found out they said it was my fault and that those men couldve gotten in trouble because i lied about my age and tricked them, which i still believe was wrong of me to do. but the violent and angry way my parents reacted really affected me and that whole situation really ruined my relationship with sex and my trust in my parents.

when i was 14 i willingly started sending nude pics of myself to older guys who asked. they knew how old i was and i never lied about that. i stopped after a few weeks because i started feeling physically ill from the shame. my parents never found out about the whole situation but that was around the time when i thought i could tell them about how traumatizing the whole "thing that happened when i was 7" was for me. they git angry and told me i had no right to claim it was csa of any kind and that it was a slap in the face to real victims. it really hurt me and i havent told them anything since.

its been a year since then and recently ive actually started sending those pics of myself again. im really ashamed over it and i dont know why i keep doing it. the guys are all aware of my age, so im not lying now either. i feel weird and embarrassed about it but i dont feel like i can actually call this sexual abuse or grooming because im doing this on my own accord. im scared to tell my friends because i dont want them to look at me differently. i cant tell my parents because i know how angry theyll get. i dont really know what i want. anyway, my ending question is: is this actually sexual abuse if i quite literally asked for it over and over? is there a name for it? im scared i wont ever be able to live a normal life.

thank you so much, sorry for this shitshow lol, and have a nice day ❤️

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Please know that it takes a lot of strength and courage to not only endure these experiences, but to reach out and seek support.

It's worth self-reflecting on what you seek from these interactions, whether that's regaining a sense of control, seeking validation and praise, reenacting earlier trauma, or other reasons. Please know that none of what you experienced is your fault, and it wasn't right of your parents to blame you instead of the people that harmed you. That being said, you deserve to work towards choosing healthier alternatives to interacting with these men.

It's important to recognize that children cannot consent. Even if someone willingly puts themselves in a situation they know may be dangerous, that doesn't make them any less of a victim because either way they are still being abused and still deserve compassion, understanding, and patience. What happened still counts as SA. Experiencing these things as a child counts as CSA, and it happening over the internet qualifies it as NCCSA, or NCSA as an adult. Sending nudes of yourself as a minor counts as CSE, CSEM, and CSAM.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could best help you process your trauma, collaborate with you to develop some healthy coping mechanisms, and guide you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[infizero-draws]

Hey! I followed you because I think your art is super funky and awesome and cool and I've been mildly interested in Sonic for awhile now. Most of my content is very secondhand, like commentary videos and the Snapcube dubs.

To make a long story short, I want to get into Sonic. Like for realsies. There's so much content out there and I don't know anyone personally who enjoys it, so how do you suggest I approach this?

Aw thank you so much I'm glad you like my art!!

It really depends on what you're most interested in! Sonic is a franchise that spans different mediums and has been on-going for a long time, so there's a lot of content with very different vibes and varying levels of quality (though that's subjective of course).

I'd say that probably the best way overall to get familiar with the characters and world as a newcomer is to read the IDW comics! They're very well-written, have gorgeous art, and are easily accessible to new fans while still having lots of references to previous installments. They take place directly after Sonic Forces, but they summarize the events of that game so don't worry about needing that context. There's also a couple of mini-series to check out!

There's the games of course, which are the main canon that the IDW comics build off of/are technically a part of. I would personally recommend Sonic Adventure 2, it's my favorite game and though basically everyone calls it their favorite, like, it's for a reason. SA2 for me is the best game overall, as its story is great, the gameplay is fun and works perfectly alongside the story, and it's just full of charm. It's the most cohesive Sonic game imo, everything feels so interconnected and masterfully woven together, I love playing it. Don't be scared off by the "2" in the title btw, though there are some elements from Sonic Adventure that are referenced, you can still totally enjoy it without knowing anything about the first game as it's mainly standalone.

^ (also sidenote but sa2's story got a littleee muddled by the english localization, its not the worst but i'd recommend this video that goes over the story in detail with an emphasis on the original japanese script. there used to be an upload of the jp cutscenes with faithful eng subtitles but unfortunately last year the channel got nuked and there weren't any backups T_T im still not over it)

When it comes to recommending games it sort of depends on whether you plan on actually playing them yourself or just watching someone else play them, because there's a lot of Sonic games that have really good stories but subpar gameplay, or games that don't really have a story but good gameplay. Also everyone has their own preferences when it comes to types of games so there's that too.

Sonic is a franchise that both sort of has an overarching story (or at least they did back in the early 2000s when the games had a story that was built upon with each game, something that we might be finally returning to with Sonic Frontiers!) and also has many games and cartoons where they're kind of separate from all of that and function as standalone stories or just take place in their own universes entirely. There's many different canons across the different mediums, but the main one is the mainline games + IDW + now Sonic Prime on Netflix, which is apparently also canon to the main game canon!

Sorry if this is overwhelming >< it's a big franchise with a lot of different stuff and different canons and a wonky timeline so it's sort of hard to pinpoint the exact things a new fan """"should"""" check out. I'd say check out the IDW comics and then see if any of the games (or just their cutscenes in a compilation on YouTube lol) spark your interest!

And I say this every time I get these kinds of asks about a fandom I'm in, but PLEASE feel free to send me another ask or even shoot me a dm if you're comfortable if you want more specific advice or are confused about something, I literally love nothing more than talking about sonic the hedgehog at length. (Although I'd prefer if you sent them to my main @infizero as I use this account mainly just for art ^_^)

Anyways I hope this helped in some way ToT

[schizopositivity]

Hi there. First, I love your blog and have been finding it very helpful lately. Second, I just wanted some insight on what I'm currently going through. A traumatic event happened to me recently and I'm still dealing with the aftermath, it feels like it's made all my symptoms get worse and caused some old ones to resurface again, and I'm scared of things getting worse. The most convenient counseling available to me (in terms of the location and price) doesn't deal with more severe mental health conditions. They told me not to go back to them because they could only handle things like mild circumstantial depression and stress. So now I am trying to get back into long term therapy with a professional who'd be more equipped to handle cases like mine, but in the meantime, what coping mechanisms do you suggest just to keep me afloat for a while until I can access a professional again?

I don't want to get too detailed and unintentionally trigger anyone, but basically my intrusive thoughts have gotten especially bad (in all senses - frequency, intensity, how graphic/detailed they get), my "unhealthy beliefs" are becoming more obvious to the people around me and it's been interfering with my daily functioning, some other stuff has been going on that's hard to put into words tbh and overall it feels like my brain never gets a break from itself since it's so damn "loud" and it feels like the thoughts won't shut off. Sorry since I realize this is kind of a heavy topic, please don't feel pressured but if you have any resources or just advice from your own experience about how to cope with this for a while, I'd appreciate it a lot, please. I'm currently not a danger to myself or others because I do have family with me and they watch after me (check in on me, monitor my meds, etc.) but there is still that "divide" between me and them where they don't fully grasp what I'm going through and it just feels like hell inside of my own brain. Thank you.

first off im really sorry you went through something traumatic recently. you didnt deserve that or the after effects you got from it. i went through something traumatic earlier this year and it also made my symptoms worse, so youre not alone in that.

heres one resrouce, you can click on "what should i do if i experienced a traumatic event?"

as for dealing with intrusive thoughts, one thing i do is right after they happen i think to myself "obviously thats not what im thinking" or "clearly thats not my real conscious thoughts" as a way to dismess them as just intrusive thoughts and not anything to do with how i really feel. to discredit them and not give them any deeper meaning.

id also encourage you to talk more to your family and friends, to really open up and tell them the truth and how youre feeling and what youre thinking. most people want to know whats really going on with their loved ones. plus you never know what kind of advice and support they could offer until you open up. and maybe if talking isnt an easy way to show your emotions maybe do it through drawings or poetry, or even showing them a song or movie you relate to right now.

i wish you luck on getting the professional help you deserve. and if its possible, dont settle for someone you dont feel comfortable talking to or someone that isnt equipted to handle your problems. you wont offend a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist by changing to a different one, its their job to help you and if they cant its totatally normal and appropraite to switch to someone else, they dont take it personally.

[revenant-coining]

woah thats a lot of time :O but thats a cool theory !! im not good at math but if you were to put it into ratios im sure itll make more sense ooo jelly cubes sound good :O what kinds of foods do you eat here ?? pineapple sized grapes oh god those are big JFDLJLFK but ooo sounds good !! yeah thats fine if you cant remember !! ugh i wish it was like that on earth id love to go explore uncharted areas here :O i know the ocean is one of the most unexplored places but its not that easy to access sadly T__T /lh take the /j and make it /gen [/hj] ooo alright got it ahh i have so much information to document this is gonna be fun imma make a rentry >:] dang fates sounds so cool we love fate here !! i could never be that responsible DFJKLSJF /lh all i know about it minecraft ive never heard about terraria stardew valley or breathe of the wild but they sound fun !! what are they about ?? ohh so the chaotic energy is based on how you feel ?? like if you feel low on chaos would the chaos influx be low too ?? or would the chaos energy in general be low ?? ahh alright got it and ooo good theory !! id hope hasnt taken up that job sounds like she already has a lot to work with /lh yay !! :D ooo thats soo cool !! i love the balance of magic users :D yesss im glad were both thinking the same thing >B] ooo ill check out all of these games in my free time !! when im feeling more ghosty all i wanna do is stare at the ceiling on float around and turn invisible and become a spectator but experiencing things again in a new light is so much fun !! im already like that since im not cultured yet but yes soft things should be prioritized /hj woah im really glad heaven and hell isnt like what its percieved in this world it sounds so much fun being able to see different sceneries !! ooo what did the marble buildings look like :O yes lets goo i love the amount of free travel there is and good to know guardians could do that !! gonna ask the bodys parents whens the next time were going to a hotel so i can experience for myself B] ohh alright got it !! do you remember what their wings looked like ?? and yeah djklfjsd stairs are just so popular here considering transportation isnt as easy but so hell is mountainous and foresty and heaven is more city like right ?? ohh that makes sense !! yeah i can see how different attractions could look the same thats actually an interesting way to look at things mostly with others theres a lot of emotion that comes with those actions so thats where the difference comes from !! but hey im glad you seem okay with how you feel and interpret it !! :D - ramble anon

ok ratios: hell/heaven to my dimensions earth would be 1 month:1 week, my guess for this dimension's earth and hell is [some amount of years]:1 hour, or 1 hour:[some amount of years] (i am not good at ratios so i hope this helps somewhat)

in this dimension i eat fruit a lot, or salty snacks. I'm also a big soup fan. uncharted areas are sooo cool, i'd loved to explore the ocean if i wasn't scared of it /gen

yeah fate is very good at her job, and is very cool :D

terraria is sometimes described as '2D minecraft' but is has a lot more feature, items, enemies, etc. stardew valley is a 2D farming game with the ability to friend/date/marry npcs, like a farming simulator, mini dating sim, creativity elements, and resource gathering. breath of the wild is a 3D open world game where you can do lots of side quest, exploration, cooking and etc.

chaos being low causes me to feel low, not the other way around /nm and i meant sometimes i want to feel the extra chaos so i'd get closer to the source to feel it :]

the marbles buildings are similar to ancient greek architecture from this world! heaven's usually with smoother textures, and were very tall.

heaven beings usually had feathery wings, but they could come in any color, and were more like bird wings than angel wings. hell beings had more bat-like or dragon-like wings, scales or leathery. and yeah hell is mountainous and forest while heaven is a big city :]

I've spent a decent amount of time figuring out how i feel about romantic and platonic things, so I've been able to accept it really well :D

[kamil-a]

btw im still yet to finish the last piece of elliot nonstay but. okay this has the vague appearance of an essay (long) but has no structure or thesis whatsoever. lets ramble.

i think we can already hold a gender studies class (lmao) on it that goes something like this, that all alice's insecurities about her relationship with elliot fuel these very..... image of a housewife comforting her tired breadwinning husband...ish, do you know what i mean? acts. oh he's so tired from work (more on this later), i need to cook for him i need to fix his clothes i need to literally massage him.

but all that's stuff he already has access too because a: he's a foodie who loves seeking out cool niche restaurants, b: his clothes fix themselves with literal magic, and c: everyone in the hatter house massages each other as a post-work bonding hobby (WHICH IS CUTE). actually i take back c i cant imagine elliot letting people touch him. well except blood of course. oho! haha. hehehe. okay let's get back on track.

right so the POINT is she's losing at girl really bad in this one, and really struggling with that, and he isnt noticing because to him the thing she is providing is...romantic love? intimacy? companionship? obviously cookies your gf made are more special than cookies a chef made!! but from her point of view, no matter how much she runs, she can't catch up to actually Providing Housewifery to him (because she's not a hatter girl). (interestingly, she doesn't do this stuff as much when she IS a hatter girl).

okay, it's later, more on this: she also, by her own in game admission, fixes his coat to take her mind off the parts of their relationship she's scared to tackle, namely that he works at the murder factory. and that he's in opposition to HER chosen territory, which means it's her friends and coworkers he's killing at least part of the time. she's throwing every justification she can at this one, but mostly trying to distract herself.

one more interesting twist: there are times when she can't bring herself to lie and tell her partner she's staying for sure, and this is not one of them. she directly chooses to straight up lie to elliot (oh ill just go home and say goodbye and then come back!)

(It's been a while, but i think that's actually her for real not lying plan in stay route. Huh.)

anyway this is kind of a usual thing to do with elliot, who tends to get really stubborn on dumb arguments until you just go okay fine i agree with whatever bs youre saying. but this isnt a dumb argument and i suspect he knows she's lying, or at least doubts her out of insecurity, and i bet that's why he went behind HER back to try and find a way to force her to stay.

(but of course as we know she can only be forced to stay if by some deepdown subconscious will, she- im trying to find a not awful sounding way to put this, because "wants to be forced" is, yikes!- wants the option to leave taken out of the equation hard enough. It's a free will reacharound. but that doesn't excuse elliot or anyone else TO BE CLEAR , it's just a little grimace moment about Themes.)

but in any case, unlike in stay, i get the feeling alice has never really had a deep conversation with him, has always tried to keep it light, puts SOOOO much weight on what a cute little bunny he is, because i think she's scared of finding out things about him she doesn't want to know, and he rolls with it because he's scared of scaring her. she [shrek 2 png] doesn't even know how he wants to die. lmao. which 2 BE FAIR she doesnt find out from talking to him in stay route either but at least she knows it.

she never ever likes having feelings convos but she REALLY tries to avoid it in this one lmao, stuffing his face full of muffins whenever he tries to say he loves her, which IS ADORABLE AND NOT A BAD THING 2 BE CLEAR it just is one point in this constellation of a relationship she's afraid of having a real direct conversation in. That said maybe im forgetting things and wrong about this, that's always an option. It's just fun to say words.

anyway i imagine blood is watching his best friend ever and his new friend he's grown to really value having this weird eggshell relationship like :^) this is fine!

oh one more thing. i worry a lot whenever she talks about specifically wanting to be where lorina is, how when she says she wants to go home and home means lorina to her....... just bad feelings from this.

but can you connect this sentiment popping up to how dismally she's losing at girl in this one? something something the deep knowledge that going to where lorina is means going [points in the vague direction of human heaven] and the last and most potent weapon any player of the girl game has in her arsenal is death and eulogy? idk, maybe. whoa this got dark, sorry.

[horseshoecrabman]

7/26/24

hey all! time for another bee update!!

bee update 6:

content warning: picture of a bee sting on my hand (isnt bloody, but is slightly bruised/swollen)

this one might be short, since not much new stuff happens in the bee world. dad got around to buying some pesticides to get rid of the hive beetles! in short, we have to place it in such a way that only the beetles can access it, and then they eat it and die.

i'm a bit worried that the hive beetles ate so much of their honey that they won't be have enough to eat for the winter, but if worst comes to worst we can always give them sugar water!

speaking of bad stuff, a moment i've been dreading finally happened:

i got stung by a bee!!!!

what happened was that i was going to replace their water, so i removed the feeder as i normally do. it occurred to me that they seemed to not like the presence of my hand, as five or so bees came to fly around and get me to leave. i didn't think anything of it really. but when i came back to put the feeder back in, i felt a pain in my pinky finger and welp, i got stung.

i kind of freaked out to be honest, but i remembered to remove the stinger (as i had watched a youtube video a few months prior instructing me to do so in case of a bee sting) and then i left them alone after that!

it did hurt but it wasn't super bad! and while i'm on that topic i want to talk about what to do in case of you getting stung by a bee!

1. remove yourself from the area as calmly as possible! if near a hive in the wild it is best to leave, as to tell the bees that there is no more danger and wont illicit a defensive reaction!

2. remove the stinger as quickly as possible! if left in, the stinger will continue to pump venom into your body, and while not enough to kill or cause major damage (unless you have an allergic reaction, which i will get to in a bit), the stinger is easy to remove and will cause less pain if removed! you just have to pinch with your fingers and remove! using tweezers is not advised.

3. when that is done, wash the wound with soap and water and apply an ice pack! after that you can bandage it :)

4. if you do have an allergic reaction, i would recommend going to the hospital and looking into medications for these things! im not an expert on medical stuff like that, so forgive me if im wrong or dont provide enough info, but if this is a concern for you i recommend doing your own research! ^_^

another fact about bee stings is that the stinger of a bee is connected to their vital organs, so typically once the stinger is inside the flesh, the organs will get removed with it, unfortunately killing the bee. i say "typically" because there are cases of the bee being able to remove the stinger by itself and then flying off, but its very uncommon. however, i don't think anyone should feel overly guilty if a bee dies because they sting you, like any bug, bees die out quickly for a myriad of reasons. and by nature they are designed to produce lots of bees to make up for the ones that do die.

it was certainly a learning experience to get stung. all in all, i dont blame the bee for stinging me, nor do i feel mad about it, i should have recognized that they felt on edge to be honest. there were a whole bunch of birds flying around their hive so maybe thats why they were on the defensive? who knows to be honest!

anyways, the main reason why i make posts like this is because i want people to stop being scared of bugs, especially bees! bees are very crucial pollinators, and its sad that theyre becoming endangered because of human effects like the use of pesticides and the like.

bees aren't the only pollinators either! other examples are: wasps, ants, many families of flies, butterflies and moths, beetles, bats and birds (most notably the hummingbird), and even animals like monkeys, lemurs, possums and rodents!!

no one has to love bugs, but its always good to remember that bugs are a very important part of the earth!!!

anyways, bee update over!!! have a great day or night my friends!!!

[teydious]

i’ve always wanted a corporate life, living in the city, having easy access to places i wanna visit— places and things i used to wish i could visit, it has always been a dream to leave my town and live in the city. being in my 20s feels like being in my 40s even though i dont know how that feels but in a way i do kinda imagine how it would feel be wondering if i’ve done enough to be living. I cant tell how much loneliness had gripped me on the nech, stared at my face and look into my eyes as if swearing i could never ever leave. Whever i go, it will follow. Its a companion at this point, a familiar sensation that i welcome once in while to escape the busy bustle since becoming a corporate employee. Now i could tell way more about how i’ve struggle— still am, but that for another time.

I came back here because i had the best day in such a long long time. I cant tell if its because the first thing i thought was go to church, or its because i was able to act upon it. I also had the best nap, a deep slumber without dreams. My windows were open, air coming in and out fanning my face. The brightness didnt stop me from my sleepness. That was by far the deepest sleep i’ve had in months. It was short but it was deep. Even more better than the sleep i have every night.

I had a nice dinner. My dog ate his full bowl, and he slept so soundly after. I followed my dinner with a hot cup of lemon and ginger with three teaspoons of honey. I was having a really bad flu since yesterday, so i had to down bioflu once again. Through dinner, i turned on Netflix and finally watched Lost in Translation. I never had any chance to see it, it was ideal that i came across it once again. The movie had this silent melancholy, the kind that was a bit comforting and yet still lonely. The kind of loneliness i realize was being with the person you love and still feel this unbearable loneliness within. I wonder if emptiness is the same as loneliness, and sadness too. I guess emptiness is a different spectrum of loneliness, but its just as feeling lost from yourself.

I wanted to write this in my journal but i dont have the courage to face that part of myself again. If i would face it again, i wanted it to be as a whole… like i knew my past and present. My present self is more or less myself. Its very shallow and naive, and almost stupid. I’ve lost discipline and thats why i didnt want to start going through that sacred part myself. Not yet.

I’m scared this night will end. I have all these wanders in my head, and for a while at least just for today i feel a feat. This is victory i want to relish all throughout the night, because tomorrow im going back to the battlefield that is reality. I dont wanna face tomorrow but there’s no way around it. It will come, but i do hope i will feel this again.. this calmness and fulfillment.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, i have a situation/symptoms that ive been dealing with that i was wondering if i could get opinions or guidance on.

content warnings for i think derealization, depersonalization, dissociation

ever since i was a kid ive felt like ive been living in the body of another person, like im living someone else's life. id have these moments where it would seem like i would "wake up" and realize that i was actually alive and living. it was like everything came rushing back to me and i felt like a whole other person watching my own life unfold. my name didnt feel like it was mine, my experiences and memories didnt feel like mine, and lately ive been feeling like i dont even know myself anymore. my name doesn't feel right, my gender doesnt feel right, my personality and the way i act and present myself dont feel right either. i feel like im pretending to be a person. im so confused and kind of scared, i dont know what's wrong with me. is this normal? is there a name for this experience?

- serena

Hi Serena,

I'm sorry about what's been going on. That must be very disorienting and scary.

I think it's fairly possible that you may be dealing with a dissociative disorder such as OSDD or DID. With these disorders, it's common to feel like someone else entirely, as different alters can have unique identities that differ from the body or host. It's also very common for these disorders to develop in early childhood, as it's essentially when your need states never fuse into a single identity due to trauma.

I would recommend just taking inventory of who you feel you are, and get a sense of what your personal identity is, regardless of what you've been placed into. What are your likes and dislikes, how do you identify, are there memories or experiences that do feel like your own and if so what are they, etc. It can be helpful to write these things down to help keep track.

Once you get a clearer idea of yourself and feel ready, then you may be curious to explore if there is anyone else inside. Internal Family Systems tends to be helpful for systems or others who have some level of multiplicity. A way IFS navigates introspection is by inviting a part to speak. You may find this meditation helpful, however I do just want to let you know that this can potentially be overwhelming if there turn out to be many parts that identify themselves at once. I also personally found that it was hard for me to fully follow this practice despite being naturally introspective, but I understand that everyone is different.

Additionally, I'm thinking of something that I can't remember the exact details of, but there is a method to get a sense of who fronts ("comes to") during the day by mapping out your feelings by the hour, and any drastic changes may be indicative of someone else getting close or fronting. Communication and visibility can be especially challenging as a newly-discovered system. As someone who has trouble identifying when someone else is near or fronting, I found this to be helpful.

If you have Discord I recommend the OSDD server as they can help with additional questions or tips on potentially being a new alter. You're also free to ask for specific mods such as Mod Night who have more experience in being a system.

If you can afford and access it, I strongly recommend looking into getting a therapist if you don't already have one, especially a therapist who specializes in dissociation or dissociative disorders.

Ultimately, it's important to be patient with yourself as you navigate this. Remember to practice self-care during this time. I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun