#im going through a lil bit of crush rn myself

[arieswritez]

puppy love

puppy love | yandere!mark grayson x afab!reader | MULTI-CHAP: 3

chapter 2

cw; DARK CONTENT!!! MDNI!!! reader is neurodivergent, ableism, growing up is messy & adults suck, angst, niceguy™/slight incel mark, childhood friend/bully!mark, mark gets his powers sooner, teeny tiny implications of pseudo incest (blink and you'll miss it), violent rape, threats of violence, & canon typical violence, stalking, implied murder, gender & body dysphoria, mentions/implications of disordered eating, mark teases reader about their body once, overall asshole mark, implied grooming (mark handles it but he's a lil bitch about it later), so, victim blaming, misogyny, the inexplicable horrors of being afab, objectification, sexualization

about; you don't know how long i could stare into your picture and wish that it was me i guess it's different 'cause you love him but i've got an interactive sick and twisted imagination and that's gotta count for something - not allowed (tv girl)

3.

you'd found a boy that made your heart go thump thump, thump. and you knew very well how the rest of that story usually went.

your love was encompassing. asphyxiating and obsessive. and in the very first moment the two of you interacted, you knew, this could be it.

you didn't blame yourself.

you couldn't blame yourself.

blame the love stories.

the disney movies with the princes and the magic mirrors. breaking curses with true love's kiss. much like the fabricated sugary fantasies, your potential life with him unfolded before your eyes.

he could be the one.

true love's forever kiss.

you imagined it all.

movie theater dates, awkward parental meetings, proposals, a home, kids, pets. arguments. therapy, even. pushing through at the end. death. rebirth. trying it all over again in the next life.

all you had to do was get him to stick around.

you had to make him understand that you could be his true love kiss, too.

you had to be perfect.

. . there was just one miniscule problem.

the boy so happened be on the same baseball team as mark.

it's the way the two of you had met.

despite the fact that you were supposed to be there for mark: your eyes were . . elsewhere. your eyes - then your focus - had gravitated towards him even before the first pitch. and you found yourself blushing as you watched him stretch: holding his baseball bat over his head.

you'd made it your only goal to attempt to extract as much information about it from mark as discretely as you could. and frankly, you should've known mark would be able to read you like the back of his hand.

because he found out what you were trying to do embarrassingly quickly.

and he was just as quick to shut it down.

you hadn't noticed the boy before. not really. but since the baseball game, he seemed to be everywhere. and you were excited to find that he was the new addition to mark's friend group. you knew this because you saw him and mark sitting together during lunch.

which meant they were at least acquaintances.

so imagine your shock when you came to find out. . mark didn't like him.

everything about him seemed to rub mark the wrong way. mark would clam up the moment you mentioned your boy. he'd change the subject. or his mood would just straight up sour. he'd go quiet and avoidant. and when you kept pushing, he finally snapped.

your boy was stupid.

your boy was shallow.

"don't say i didn't warn you." mark would mumble.

but warning you wasn’t enough.

your boy barely looked at you.

and you weren't sure if it was in part because of the way you acted. . the way you looked. maybe he was so out of your league that he'd completely removed you from his radar.

you'd watch him from across hallways and excitement would swell in your chest when you found that you'd be walking in opposite directions.

you'd see him coming.

he'd see you.

time would slow as you walked past him.

your heart rate would pick up.

but his eyes would remain forward and time would pick back up again as soon as you were past each other.

all it'd leave you with was the bitter taste of rejection in your mouth and a deep ache of anxiety bubbling in your stomach.

the only thing that sobered you up were the dizzying possibilities.

he hadn't seen you. he hadn't noticed the effort you'd put in.

but eventually, he would.

you don't know what it was that grabbed his attention.

mark was vehemently against introducing you two.

you were at a loss until you realized that you'd just have to try harder.

whenever mark left for the bathroom, you'd made it a mission to swipe mark's phone during study sessions. you'd go through his socials and send yourself screenshots of both his follower count and who he was following.

it was a long tedious progress but eventually, you'd found your boy's account.

thankfully, it was public. which meant the the decoy accounts you'd made to snoop just in case he was private turned out to be a waste of time.

you looked through his followers and did your homework on anyone he showed a particular interest in. you'd even made a list of the usernames of the people who’s posts he interacted with the most.

and soon you became a master of disguise.

you studied them top to bottom.

those that went to the same school were far easier to emulate.

you copied their mannerisms, the way they styled their hair, you changed the cadence of your voice, the way you rolled your r’s. your clothing grew tighter and your slouch was now an exaggerated upbeat gallop as you chased after the object your new affection, hoping one day he'd notice.

. . and the exact moment he looked into your eyes and did a double take. . you did one, too.

it was completely out of surprise before you caught yourself and continued to saunter away from him with butterflies in your stomach: flapping their wings so violently it felt like you'd be swept away.

his attention was the most excitement you'd felt. . in a long time.

and you knew you'd do anything to retain it.

it was a sickly sweet feeling: syrupy, sticky. clogging your vascular system to the point your head swelled. the lack of oxygen only heightened your fantasies.

the attention was addictive and so, so good you found yourself chasing that high all the time. going to extreme lengths to get his attention. even if they’d end up embarrassing you after.

you never allowed yourself to wallow in the feeling of dread that settled in your stomach when you did everything in your power to get his attention, though.

specially whenever it made a smile stretch across his face.

whatever you did faded into the background.

it was all worth it in the end.

something was wrong with mark.

and he needed to get to the root of the problem fast.

he was looking at you. . differently.

he talked to his dad.

nolan had said something about the changing moods having to do with his powers. how being intense and passionate was just in his blood.

he talked to his mom about it. albeit in a more discrete way. he'd never be able to live it down if she'd found out you were making him behave a certain way.

she'd just chalked it up to it being puberty.

mark didn't know who to believe.

he just wanted to stop thinking about you.

his nerves were shot to shit whenever you were near.

senses heightened: you were a fog blanketing his brain until your voice carried with it a technicolor vision.

he could smell you coming like a damn blood hound.

he could hear your pulse while sitting next to you.

something was wrong with mark.

he knew it when his teeth ached when you'd stretched your neck: raised your arms over your head and let out a little sound of pain and discomfort.

something was wrong with mark.

when the day's turned warm and wet. . and your clothing became more revealing.

he could see more of you.

freckles and moles, blemishes and scars, he hadn't noticed before.

he'd follow sweat drops rolling down your skin.

smooth. soft.

he'd held you, once.

when was the last time?

something was wrong with mark.

he'd lay awake at night staring up at the ceiling.

thinking about how you'd looked while you concentrated on a book. while you looked down at your phone. while you listened to music: smiling when a song you liked came on.

your little humming. . but not singing.

never singing.

mark noticed you'd stopped singing in front of him when he started to make fun of you for it.

that, too, was how mark knew something was wrong with him.

the way your moods would shift like tides under a crescent moon whenever he'd said something excited him. he felt pleasure - a violent zap of electricity shooting up and down his spice - watching your eyes light up or darken when he'd say something to you.

about you.

i like your hair today.

light.

you talk so goddamn much.

dark.

i missed you.

light.

your stories take fucking forever.

dark.

something was wrong with him when he found his own mood depended on fantasizing on how he'd make you feel that day.

if he was in a bad mood, seeing you in one, too, was a sure-fire way to make his day a whole lot better.

something was wrong with mark.

when he'd have to smother the sounds he made while imagining you -

something was wrong with him. . when red, hot anger consumed him when one of his friends made a smart quip about your body.

when he couldn't just laugh it off anymore.

something was wrong with mark.

. . or so he thought.

because he'd later find out. .

. . no.

something was wrong with you.

all of a sudden: mark was the one double texting.

triple texting.

mark was the one asking if he could hang out. . and when the fuck did he ever need permission?

mark was the one seeking you out.

something was wrong with you.

and he needed to get to root of the problem.

he picked his brain apart in an attempt to figure out what it was. you couldn't be under any stress. you looked fine. better than fine.

you looked happy.

fucking elated.

to the point where mark couldn't affect your moods anymore.

mark wanted to know what the fuck you were so happy about.

why the fuck you were so happy when he was falling apart at the seams. when his world was crashing down.

and there you were, completely fucking oblivious.

mark had always been curious.

and so, he went to see you.

the two of you were in your room.

you'd excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

and mark started looking.

you were predictable.

he knew where you kept your journal. despite how many times he'd found it and read it aloud - holding it above his head whenever you tried to snatch it away - he'd always managed to figure out your next hiding place.

it was easier that way.

he pretended he didn't know where it was.

you pretended to have some privacy.

he pretended not to know every single, minute, insignificant detail of your life.

of your thoughts.

thank fuck you were still so naive.

thank fuck for dairies.

he'd found it in a box under your bed.

and after flipping to the page with the freshest set of ink. . he'd found out what your problem was.

you'd found a boy who'd made your heart go

thump.

thump.

thump.

[valsvalentine]

A game of guess who

Yuji Itadori x fem!reader

ʚ summary. You finally get the guts to make a move on your long time crush, what could go wrong you may be asking? Everything. Once you send one accidental message you are forced to stay anonymous by your growing anxiety and fear of rejection, so you decide to turn this into a game of sorts, one everybody has heard of before; guess who!

ʚ genre. fluff

ʚ warning. strong language, not proof read

part I .. part II .. part III

Well shit. Maybe texting your crush such a cocky text wasn’t a very good idea. But who could blame you? Your mom yelled your full name. Who wouldn’t drop their phone in an instant and sprint to their life giver and go on your knees to beg for her to spare that life? Exactly. So that’s what brought you here, trying to figure out how to escspe the mess you got yourself in —by accident.

You sighed, Maki and Nobara urging you to reply to the poor boy since you’ve left him on read for like 15 minutes now. “You’re doing great girl! Leaving the boy you love on read is doing wonders!” Nobara said sarcastically and Maki just laughed in response at the funny scene before her. A groan echoed through your room, rolling onto your stomach you typed out responses but every single one felt off. You weren’t messaging quite like yourself, it didn’t seem right and even the girls noticed your uncertain aura. “Y/N just message how you usually do, I’m sure he will like you just the way you are!” You smile softly but there was still so much anxiety in you, your hands shaking just a bit and your chest felt tight. “But I can’t just tell him who I am! I’ll just.. stay anonymous for a while before I reveal myself to him or maybe he might figure it out before then.” You say and they try to talk you out of it, but agree once they notice you really are certain about this little plan of yours.

Yuji<33

Heyy<3

Who’s this? :D

Hello??

??

hdjdhdjjsd I am so so sorry I really

didn’t mean to add the heart

No no it’s okay!

I mean no one has really been this straight forward with me before lmao

But really, who is this?

That’s for me to know, and for

you to find out ;D

Ohh so that’s how u wanna be yeah?

Well tell me this, are u at least my age? cuz tbh I really don’t wanna be texting a pedo rn

HELPP NOO IM FROM YOUR

SCHOOL DW

And what exactly are your intentions? I don’t get why u won’t tell me who u are?

scared of rejection?? anddd i don’t

wanna get humiliated so staying

anonymous was the safest bet

lmaoo alr nw :D But tell me a bit about yourself, I’d like to get to know you a lil better since I’m guessing you know something about me?

hmmm this seems like a trick

NOOO I PROMISE IT’S NOT

You don’t have to tell me your name just give me some kind of hints you know?

Oo maybe like a guess who kind of game?

Wait that’s actually genius

Genius is my middle name bbg

BBG?? STOP???

JK JK

Okay but let’s make this into something like a bet

If I guess who you are by the end of next week I get a favor, and if you manage to stay anonymous for the entire time, I owe you a favor

Seems fair right?

yeah okay, well if you really wanna know

something about me then im in a few of

your classes

Wow that really narrowed down the list

Be happy I’m even telling you anything >:|

I GO TO CLASS WITH LIKE 20 DIFFERENT GIRLS

HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GUESS WHO YOU

ARE IF THESE ARE THE HINTS YOU GIVE ???

who said I’m a girl ??

…

…

jk jk dw

OKAY OKAY

ANYWAYYY

I gtg, ttyl<3

Were gonna discuss that heart later

mister steal yo heart…

BLOCK

IM KIDDING YUJI STAWP TTYL<333

liked 1 minute ago

You sigh as the conversation finally ends and the girls cheer since you managed to not completely embarrass yourself like they expected you to. You say your goodbyes and get ready for bed, going downstairs to eat a quick dinner before going right back to your bed. ‘Well today was not as productive as I wanted it to be, but at least I got to message Yuji so that��s a good thing.’ You think to yourself as you smile into your pillow and cuddle into the sheets. ‘Tommorow will be better.’

Classes went by quite quickly, heading to the lunch room to meet up with Nobara and Maki so you could involuntarily discuss last nights events. You notice Nobara at your usual seats outside, scrolling on her phone before noticing you and waving you over. “Hey ‘Bara! Ready for the sports event today?” She groaned, starting to complain so you sat down and giggled at her grumpy state. “Why would they think it’s a good idea to host a sports event? Nobody likes to sweat.” She stated and started to eat her lunch.

“Don’t know, I’m glad they decided i’d be helping around, showing people which way to run and all that business.” Nobara rolled her eyes, mumbling something before changing the subject.

“Soo how are you and Yuji?~” She giggled and urged you to talk. You thought for a second, knowing damn well you avoided his texts just a few hours ago. Sighing, you take out your phone and show her the texts, preparing yourself for a scolding. “Wow Y/N, you’re doing great with this ‘texting my crush’ thing!” She exclaimed sarcastically and hit you over the head. “Reply to him! Don’t worry N/N literally everyone is on their phone right now, he will have a hard time figuring out who you are, especially here.”

After a bit of convincing, you decide to text him back. It really was stupid leaving him on delivered for so long but who could blame you? That boy would be the death of you with his cute smile, cute remarks.. everything about him was just so mesmerising.

Yuji<33

good morning xx

did you sleep well?

am I getting ghosted rn

??? D:

heyy sorry I was a bit busy this morning

I slept pretty good, wbu? :D

lolll I was starting to get worried

I slept well :P

Soo what are you doing after school?

I’m attending the schools sports event!

Oh? And what are you gonna do?

I mean if you’re gonna help around or actually

participate in it?

I am NOT falling for that !!

AWW

AND I THOUGHT I’D TRICK YOU

D:<

You should work on your detective

skills :3

KYS

jk

that was a bit harsh

I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT </3

LOLL DWW

Well anyway, see you at the sports

event Yuji<3

Yeah yeah ‘see you’ you stalker >:[

Yours trulyy >:3

read 2 minutes ago

“He definitely likes you!” Nobara exclaims and smiles from ear to ear, kicking her feet excitedly under the table. You chuckle softly at her behaviour, patting her back to try and calm her bursting energy before sighing. “That’s quite unlikely, he’s probably just curious about who I am.” You say as you packed up your lunchbox and walked to your next class; P.E.

“Well he definitely finds you interesting! He would’ve probably rejected you if he didn’t think you were the slightest bit of interesting last night!” She jumped up and down as she walked to the girls changing room and set her things down.

The teacher talked about the sports event, gathering all of the helpers in one group before speaking up. “L/N, Inumaki, Zen’in, Nishimiya, Itadori….” The teacher listed names of everyone like they weren’t right in front of him and finally told us our asigned jobs. “L/N and Itadori will be helping around during the relay race. Mostly just checking if people are running the right way and don’t get lost.” You lock eyes with Itadori who smiled at you and put up a peace sign, making you chuckle at the sweet boy.

You internally panicked, mentally noting to turn off your notifications for the whole day and not expose much about yourself if he decides to get curious.

Finally the class ended so you were all free to either go home to gather your things or stay to help with preparations. You chose the latter, going to change into something more sporty before heading out to help set up where the students would be running. The principal decided they would start running in front of the school, turn left to run beside the school, around the basketball court, and straight back to the front of the school to hand the ‘stick’ to their teammate so they could repeat it. There were 3 teams and in each team there were 5 students, some being guests so that was why you were tasked to guide them if they got lost. ‘This is going to be a long day.’

At 4:15pm, an hour later after classes finished for the day the event started, quite a lot of students showing up along with their families who would cheer them on. You saw a few familiar faces, Nobara of course, Maki, Yuta, Megumi who would be participating in some of the sports. You pitied them, not really wanting to run in this weather that much but it wasn’t really your choice to make. Yuji had joined you about 30 minutes ago, telling you he’d be by the basketball court while you would be close to the finish line where there were two turns, knowing that at least half of the guests would take a wrong turn. Yuji smiled at you from the basketball court, waving at you and yelling a ‘You okay?’ your way since you looked pretty exhausted. The sun was draining your energy but you gave him thumbs up and focused once you heard the principal speaking through the microphone.

“Good afternoon, everyone! Welcome to our annual sports day! Today is all about teamwork, effort, and having fun. To kick things off, we’re starting with the exciting relay race, where teamwork truly shines. Let’s cheer on our athletes as they give their best, and may the best team win! Good luck students, and let’s make today a memorable one!”

A loud whistle blew as the race began, the first 3 students running to try and grasp at the first place title. You notice only one familiar face, Megumi as he makes his way around the basketball court behind some girl you hadn’t seen on campus before.

“Come on Fushiguro! Kick their asses!” You yell and point towards the way they are all supposed to go, the last person just finishing running around the court before sprinting after everyone else. ‘Yeah that would definitely be my situation if I was to participate in this.’ You chuckle to yourself and refocus on your job as the next few people begin to come into view.

The race took about 15 minutes to complete and Megumis team had won first place even though Megumi was second during his lap which amazed you but of course you couldn’t let them go without congratulating them with a smile. “You all did great!” High fiving them before going to fetch yourself some water. You jog to the locker rooms, opening your locker and looking through your bag to see the tiniest bit of water. ‘Just my luck.’ You curse before walking to the small water fountain you had in the halls and filled up your bottle. The sound of someone’s footsteps echoed through the halls as the familiar pink haired boy ran into you. The water spilled on you as you hadn’t gotten the chance to close your water bottle. A groan escaped your lips as you fell right onto your behind, a panicked voice stuttering out apologies and helping you up.

“Hey, Itadori it’s fine.” You smile and try to get some of the water out of your shirt. “L/N I am so so sorry! I was in a rush and I didn’t notice you. I have a spare shirt you can borrow in my locker, come on.” He dragged you with him, not giving you the chance to respond as he opened his locker and shuffled through his things before throwing you a black shirt with some dark red patterns.

The smell of his cologne filled your nostrils as the shirt landed in your arms, a quick thank you escaping your lips before running off to the bathroom to get changed into it. Your cheeks felt warmer than usual as the shirt hung loosely around your figure, your knees feeling weak as you walked back to help with something the teacher asked of you, trying to push away any lovey dovey thoughts from your brain.

After the event had ended, you went home to finally relax your aching muscles after hours of running around campus. You took a quick shower and eyed the shirt Yuji had given you. It still smelled like him, giving you butterflies but you decide washing it would be best, not really wanting to give him a sweaty t-shirt. A message popped up on your screen; Yuji had texted you, the message making you drop everything to the floor; “Wanna call?”.

taglist: @cookiemunches @slut-for-fictional-men

[polyamorouspunk]

kfbdmbddmnd I know its not sleepover fridays where you take these kinda of asks so you can either hold onto this until then or not, no huge deal, I just wanted to get this off my chest and im realizing this may sound incomprehensible lmao. so!

I may have issues with my first ever relationship, of any incredibly intimate/pseudo-romantic kind, and I’m worried that I may have fucked up.

I’m in a pretty heavy duty qpr with this person (if I had to call it anything it would be qpr, they’re more married to the term than I am.) and have been for about 7/8 months now. it was Incredibly Intense sparks between us, instant insanely high attachment insanely fast. they described our initial few conversations weeks after the fact as borderline spiritual, neither of us really believe in soulmates but they felt like they must have known me in a past life. we’re both polyamorous, and they’ve been engaged to someone else for quite a bit before they met me (for reasons, they’re on rocky-ish terms rn but still together), and one time they looked me dead in the eye and said if they weren’t already promised to someone they’d want to marry me. I have been this persons seemingly sole emotional rock this entire time, my dms are a dumping ground for everything from soul crushing existential dread and breakdowns to the newest fixation to the latest crushes.

at first I was on board with how fast we’ve been going, trying to match their energy. they have years more experience than I do with polyamory which initially I’ve been deferring to just like experience wise while I’ve just read more ethical non monogamy/polyamory theory. im on the aroace spectrum, ive been really up front with my stance on amatonormativity and that kind of thing, whatever pace works for us works we just gotta keep tabs on our comfortability and energy. but like. hm. it’s clear that I’m the one with all of the emotional maturity and regulation.

when they said they’d want to marry me when they were already engaged felt like a red flag at the time, esp since I knew that they were going through a rocky period with their fiancé. they started So intense So fast that. I sorta feel like it’s fucked with my brain chemistry. to the point where now I feel like hopping out the gate with “I must have known you in a past life” in this very “stay with me forever” sort of way while only really knowing each other for a Month is also sort of a red flag in hindsight.

now heres the thing though. I have been matching this intensity, learning new things about myself and how my own attraction works, but like, my trust will be broken by them somehow and I’ll plummet through almost half the stages of grief and have a Hell of a time trying to feel the same kind of close to them that we started out as, I explain my grievance, they have a breakdown why they’re a bad person I assure them this isn’t the case, we just gotta improve behavior, and then they’re back to normal.

there’s small things like us discussing relationship terminology, telling each other that partner sounds good, but then in public they introduce me as their friend. or asking for privacy concerning my mental health stuff I tell them and then later find out they told like 4 other partners and qpps with out me knowing.

or the larger things like one time I was depressed so we planned a date like 2 weeks in advance, talking about it basically every day. but the night before they had an impromptu one night stand with an acquaintance, spammed my messages with gushing about this new sort of relationship, how great the sex was, including pictures I Did Not Ask For, and how they’ve never felt this way before. I was initially surprised at this deluge of stuff but ok, I was feeling happiness for them, I do get a lot of compersion, but also felt it was a lil weird.

when we actually meet up, they spend the Entire date talking about this other person. Everything. Not once do they ask about my day or talk about anything else. at one point they start physically flirting with me but then get distracted with talking about how the other person would touch them and then said that they’re still worked up from them.

I am viscerally uncomfortable, almost dissociating. I try to change the subject and they just blithely switch it back to them after a few minutes. later when I told them about how this made me feel, they had a breakdown about how they’re a bad person and don’t respect anyone. which while empathetic, is unhelpful. I can’t comfort them through an issue I’m having with them.

so I guess my question would be how the fuck do I deescalate a relationship like this. I like them, I like spending time with them, but they don’t show me any thoughtfulness at all and my boundaries are encroached upon with zero self awareness.

Okay yeah so I’m sensing some like. I’m not going to say “borderline behaviors” because like there are a variety of mental illnesses that have similar symptoms, but as someone with BPD I’m going to say “bpd symptoms” because they’re similar to ones that I would have.

Anyone that uses “I’m such a bad person” is not in a good headspace. I don’t remember the last time I’ve gone on the “I’m such a terrible person” rampage but whenever it was it was because I was throwing a pity party and that is exactly what it is. No one who is throwing out the most guilt trip line of all time like that is in a good headspace or mature. Now I mean like I’ve said “what if I’m a bad person what if I need to be better” and that’s different. I’ve said that recently and it led to “maybe I should go back to therapy and work on myself” which wow wouldn’t you know it is exactly what I’m doing. Big difference between someone telling you you hurt them and going “IM SORRY IM SUCH A BAD PERSON” and going to your friends in private and being like “hey I don’t think I handled this as well as I would have liked in retrospect, could you maybe give your insight on what I could have done better and what I maybe handled appropriately given the situation, AITA or no?” Yk? Which is exactly what I did the night I went to 🔮’s bf’s party which was what then led her to saying she needed space from me so then I was like “hey here’s what happened did I do something wrong?” @ my friends in my server.

You can apologize without making it about yourself. You can say “I’m sorry” without taking on “I’m such a bad person”. I said sorry to 🔮 numerous times, asked if I could fix it, asked if I ruined it between us. But never did I say “sorry I’m just such a horrible person” because you know what I’m still trying to sell myself to this girl why would I say shit like “I’m such a bad person.” Like when someone tells you they’re a bad person they want reassurance they’re not because if you say “yeah you kinda are” then suddenly YOU’RE the shitty one but like yeah it’s really not a good move to trash yourself it’s a lot sexier to stand your ground and be like “I’m sorry this upset you and I’m willing to accommodate and change my behavior while staying true to me.”

It really seems like you were, at one point, just their newest obsession. And that they become obsessed with other people equally. It seems like you got sucked into their vortex, and it’ll be a lot more painful for you to get out than for them. It seems like you may have already tried to set boundaries (communicating that things upset you) and they were not well received (re: “I’m such a bad partner I’m so sorry” instead of “I’m sorry let me work on that next time”).

I’m not a spiritual person but I’m also not going to knock someone else’s spiritual beliefs so I don’t want to be like “man telling someone you must have known them in a past life sounds like it could be psychosis” but it sure is Coming On Too Strong™️. I mean, like I know that I come on too strong, but holy shit that is a whole ‘nother level. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear things like that, you are allowed to say that. Because I’m pretty sure that would make me uncomfortable personally.

Also the idea of being “promised to someone” in a nonmonogamous relationship is… sketchy… especially when they are telling you they want to replace that person’s role in their life with you… like that’s not healthy polyamory. Healthy polyamory is creating new roles for people in your life not replacing the roles people already fill with new roles while that person is quite literally still in that role.

If they’re telling other members of their polycule things you asked them to keep to themselves then they are once again not respecting your boundaries.

I understand that people can be really charming and draw people in (think of extreme cases like Manson and Bundy) and that it can be hard to escape that. It doesn’t sound healthy from the outside but I’m not one to be like “dump their ass” for advice. I’m just saying that you’re aware it’s kind of toxic and unhealthy, and obviously I don’t have both sides, but I can say as someone who does have BPD there is a world where you can have a partner with those kinds of issues and have a relationship that isn’t that toxic I swear. Like I was a lot worse than I am not and I got better, like there are plenty of more mild people out there who have the same issues but actually put in the effort to get better for those around them.

[alaezasmystery235]

Hi im the anon who sent this "OKAY- im the anon who sent the ask about the fun crush thing and i feel really bad rn cuz i just saw ur first ask and i feel like this anon thing was meant for more serious stuff- like people pouring their worries and i just bombard you with the crush thing im rlly sorry!!" And the one who u replied to with this "Now to you I would love to hear your fun stories because I feel like we all had gone through something similar like this " Im also the one who called myself the sksksk anon. HAHa.

Well, thing is, i started documenting the lil moments that happened between us but i havent updated it recently since like last 2-3 weeks and now i have winter break going on- so-

Ill tell u my favourite moments.

Lets call him A.

So i think i started noticing him in thAT kind of light when Sometime in October he kept staring at a flower a boy gave me, like the boy gave me a flower and "A" was standing behind that boy and as soon as he went away "A" was standing like 2mm apart from me looking down at the flower(yes, down. hes like 6'0 feet something and im 5'0) (I PROMISE I DONT LIKE HIM CUZ OF HIS HEIGHT) (also i DIDNT SEE his expression but he was not moving at all)

then,

In november,

SO I WAS LEAVING OUT OF MY CLASSROOM

AND HE CAME NEAR OUR CLASSROOM SINCE THE WASHROOM IS THERE (near)

BUT LIKE HE STUCK SO CLOSE TO ME

I WAS TALKING TO A GUY

AND HE COMES AND STANDS BESIDE ME

LIKE 4 CM APART, and i try to move a bit so like if im blocking his passage he can go but then he moves WITH ME AND STANDS LIKE RIGHT BEHIND ME??

AND THEN I TURN AROUND AND HES THAT TALL

THAT I LITERALLY HAVE TO TILT MY HEAd to see HIM AND HE STILL DOESNT MOVE?? AT ALL??

also, the next day i caught him staring at me and his mouth was like hangign OPEN.

then on one thursday, my friend "had" to talk to him , and i tagged along but i acted nonchalant. Like they were already talking when i walked up to them and i pretended to not listen.And then i saw a senior handsome guy with muscles and i start jumping up and down and like getting excited over it and i say 'omgggg look at that guy he's so handsome and he has muscles eheheh' , to my friend and then the man (A) sees me doing that and he's like 'i also have muslces' and like FLEXES HIS BICEPS AND THEN he like comes closer and starts talking to me.AND HE LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO MY EYES/FACE whiel SMILING OGMGOMGOGMGOGMGOMG IT WAS LIKE THE MOST-

THEN, THE NEXT THURSDAY (some stuff happened between this but its not part of my fav moments)

I was really sad that day, it was the end of school and hes always in front of my bus (he walks home and my bus is the last bus) and i was like sadly walking, And he came in front of me and i was about to swerve him but he waved to me and i waved back and looked at him and he looked at me and he was smILING SO WIDELY

Okay i dont have any updates after that cuz i forgot to write them down but i think a lot has happened since then 😩

There were some moments on text too but i dont know if thats imp.

Also, let me say that we are dealing with a LIBRA VENUS AND A FLIRTY, CHARMING GUY IN GENERAL so yes these moments happened but he's not asked me out yet so i will not keep my expectations very high.

Really , I would suggest you to keep your expection low . Like don't dwell too much in these crush thingy . Because at the long run it'll affect your mental health and can cause distraction in your studies . And this is coming from a very own personal experience of mine 🥲. It hurts when you trust someone to reciprocate your feelings but at the end they just back off . So my dear anonie let the thing go on and just take a chill pill . I would suggest you to have some get together with your friends 💖😘.

[sugrx]

1, 16 and 24

1. what did you learn about yourself this year?

i’ve obv changed a little bit and definitely have COMPLETELY different interests this year,,,, like if my last year self saw me now they would be like ‘wtf is dream smp oh my god you got into minecraft again didn’t you i thought i had finally moved past this phase when i was 9 YEARS OLD WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT DOWN THE PEN STOP MAKING MINECRAFT FANAR--”

also i think i’ve gotten a bit better grasp on my sexuality/gender?? (that's explained more in the next question) and i feel like my art has DARASTICALLY improved like look at my last year art look at it i didn’t even know how to make .png files if i saw my current art style last year i would CRY OF JOY 

but my artistic eye has rlly developed since then tho and even though if i could draw as well as i could this year last year i would be over the moon now i just,,,, i see things i really want to change?? and my inspiration artists are so much beTTER THEN mE?? how do i be as good as thEM??? MY ART BELONGS IN TR ASH??

i was rlly anxious this year about my writing bc i haven’t been doing it as often and i feel like i SHOULD bc art is just a hobby and my main aspiration is writing and literally i feel like i haven’t improved at all since last year literally i looked at a piece i wrote last year and i haven’t improved at all,,, i feel like in general my stories have gotten better but not my general writing abilities?? like,,, last year i had this one story i planned to write that i really liked but i’ve basically scrapped it now and i have like 3 different stories i have going that im in love with but haven’t touched in weeks bc i’ve been so distrACTED

my self-image has also become a little,,, less?? this year?? i think??? idk if its just been the general mood of this year bc it sucked for everybody but im definitely not as excited and confident as i was last year

16. did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

yeS?? NO?? MAYBE??? YES???

i mean i was questioning last year and im still questioning this year but,,, i’ve kinda thought about it more?? last year i was like completely clueless but i think now i have a vague sense of direction?? somewhat??

ive only had one crush ever when i was in kindergarten and that's not a lot of information to go off but it was a boy so i know i like boys,,, but also at the same time?? i could imagine liking a girl?? but I've never actually had any romantic feelings towards a girl yet so im not going to officially label myself bisexual or pansexual or anything so im sticking to questioning until i've had more romantic experience bUT that’s still something

i’ve also thought about my gender a lil bit?? it’s not something i’ve been super concerned with up until now but idk i haven’t been,,, feeling good abt it?? bc im growing up and my body is getting more “feminine” and it’s been making me uncomfortable??? like not to the point where i absolutely despise my body but like,,, a vague sense of uncomfortableness whenever i look at myself without like 4565492834589 sweaters blocking the shape of my body LOL

like,,, i could imagine being a boy and sometimes i want to be a boy but at the same time,,, there’s some things i rlly like abt being a girl that i wouldn’t want to get rid of entirely?? is there a sexuality for being both a boy and girl???????? idk,,, i’ve been debating if im gender fluid, since sometimes i would prefer if i was a boy and other times i like being a girl,,, but i haven’t done enough research into it so im sticking to she/her pronouns for now, plus this is all kinda vague speculation

 so basically nothing’s changed with my gender/sexuality other then i’ve thought abt it more and have more of a vague concept of it

24. who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

i feel like there hasn't rlly been a single person in particular who has affected my life this year? this year has definitely not been my best (probably one of my worst actually) not just bc of the pandemic but idk i felt like i was drifting away from my friends but couldn’t muster up the courage to do anything abt it??? but nearing the end of the year things have been getting somewhat better with that

i got tumblr this year and managed to become more active with some friends who i felt like i was loosing touch with (like luvu and dan!) and that definitely had a positive impact!! but i feel like if anything shows/fandoms/fictional universes made more impact on me this year then anything?? idk whenever i’m stressed i usually fallback on fictional media bc i love consuming storytelling content,,,, i probably focus more on other’s fictional worlds then my own LMAO 

my interests have shifted a lot this year but i feel like my comfort fictional characters and current favorite shows rlly helped me get through this year!

namely a few fandoms that have really made an impact were sander sides, dream smp, the owl house, etc..! i RLLY got into sander sides near the beginning of the year and rn near the end of the year im RLLY into dream smp (as you can tell) but even if i don’t post as obsessively about one fandom doesn’t mean i still don’t love it and it made a significant impact on my life!! i feel like every fictional universe i’ve been into has affected me just as a whole in some way and i’ve definitely subconsciously weaven aspects of them into my own stories! not to mention i’ve been rlly getting into some of my friend’s fictional universes lately and i have been DYING over them and they’re so underrated and inspire me so much!! namely the 4 queens story  (@luvuwite‘s), a NUMBER of @raventherobot‘s stories (im simp for vin’s story and also kayne and also EVERYBODYAJKSJKSJKADJK) and also i love @hypnoticcdan‘s oc viper and i dont know a lot about their story yet but i am LEARNING also horizon is baby we stan,,,,

[etoilebinaire]

oh woe is me

ive been stressed out of my mind today cause of papers and thesis and stuff and now a friend texted me with the question “do you like like me” because apparently theyre v anxious about that.

bruh.

I dont know if thats anxious in a good way or a bad way and now IM feeling anxious about that as well. Do I like them? As a friend definitely. As smth more idk I used to maybe have a lil crush but it was pretty clear they didnt reciprocate and they were also p vocal about being ace so i just dropped it and everything shifted into an easy friendship (which is funny because this is how i got like almost all my friendships as a kid sjjsd)

Anyway. so yeah. attraction is weird but being comfortable in your mindset and then having to shift it around is a LOT

tragic backstory incoming. one of my total of three friends in highschool also developed a crush on me and i didnt notice until we were literally on a date in a zoo and my other two friends bullied me for not noticing. i did shoot him down cause i really didnt like him as anything more than a friend. two years back my best friend (also one of  my total of three friends in highschool) also confessed he had a crush on me since the start and that he was starting to crush again and we were both already pretty tipsy so i probably shot him down pretty hard. did i like him? maybe a little yeah but i cant deal with the expectations that come with reciprocation. i did tell him that all while we were both bawling it was a very good cathartic experience alltogether and hes dating a very nice girl rn and even though contact has watered down a bit i am genuinely so happy for him and i feel like in whatever form it comes we’ll always love each other yknow. definition of bestie (even though we havent talked in months but i blame corona and my general overwhelmedness) (i cannot let myself even think of the idea that everything we had was a onesided crush on his part and that hes now not interested in like being my friend anymore because i WILL actually lose it if i think about that for a second)

and in between that last confession and now ive briefly ‘dated’ someone (for the first time!) but it was mostly a friendship rather than smth else and she also “broke up” through text when i was on holiday. but like it did teach me a lot, even if it mostly taught me that my experience of attraction is very different from a standard one and im not sure how to cope. and like if we go really deep it probably definitely has to do with undiagnosed stuff and hormone issues and gender issues but idk how i would even start to solve those. and im also a little scared to start unraveling those cause what if i just cant fall in love or smth lmaoo i dont want that

and now one of my good friends asked whether i like like them and i dont think i do but then again is that due to me not even considering it because i feel like they rejected me years ago or because i just dont like them or because i cant like anyone. lovely to have this freakout on a friday afternoon while already freaking out about my paper 

Im not in the ‘how to solve this’ stage yet im still in the ‘feeling bad for myself’ stage

so ye thats where we’re at lads.  as i said to another friend “oh woe is me my friends keep falling in love w me while we've been friends for years and im very comfortable in the mindset that we're just good friends and im too lazy to re-evaluate my relationships with them and my ability to even fall in love !“

have a meme 

[luvuwite]

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

 2. What was the last present you received? 

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality? 

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of? 

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain? 

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? 

myanus

8. Stars or Moon? 

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds? 

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal? 

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without? 

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? 

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? 

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired? 

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you? 

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often? 

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers? 

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee? 

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink? 

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing? 

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? 

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? 

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted? 

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words. 

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? 

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? 

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? 

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for? 

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash +  stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life? 

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience? 

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? 

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now? 

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature? 

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner? 

soup

44. Favourite flower? 

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner? 

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? 

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general 

47. What is your favourite meal… ever? 

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? 

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero? 

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing. 

burpees

52. Secret talent? 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay? 

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? 

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI 

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? 

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? 

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number? 

5

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? 

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!! 

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

 62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? 

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store? 

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store? 

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? 

observant 

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

 68. What was your favourite subject in high school? 

math

69. What makes you feel empowered? 

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something? 

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? 

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date? 

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie? 

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? 

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke? 

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? 

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently? 

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance? 

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

 80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? 

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from? 

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? 

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? 

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic? 

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend? 

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about? 

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school? 

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

 89. Can you roll your tongue? 

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) 

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to? 

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list? 

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you? 

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time? 

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? 

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? 

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? 

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die? 

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) 

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

[just-some-random-blogger]

Wheel Of Fortune

EXO Park Chanyeol x Reader + others Characters: EXO Summary:  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.

A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well

let’s start at the beginning

your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone

okay kidding that’s too far

right

so you worked at SM

and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee

(so 2007)

which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10

just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT

wheLP

the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).

I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT

ok

since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes

So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support

You were A BIG FAN and it showed

not that you were hiding it in the first place

your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song

so dUH EXO dances growl for you

anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS

Luhan’s voice

Baekhyun’s attitude

Sehun’s resting bitch face

eeeerrrrrthing

YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING 

literally

and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE

“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream

“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”

????? 

Jongin was too out of breath to fight you

but lol u know what

they did dance again for you

BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO

after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group 

like hella tight 

you were bsicly conjoined twinss

You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa

HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF 

!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!

like you + your group to them:

“thtAS MY CHILd!”

“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”

“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”

“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”

“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”

“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”

“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”

“myY HERT!”

“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”

“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“

‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”

“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”

“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”

you @ baekyun

baekyun @ you

thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY

them to you + your group:

“first of all fuck, second FUCK”

“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”

“HE did t h a t.”

“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”

“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”

“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*

“NOt TODaY S4T4N”

“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”

“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”

“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”

“my soul has been touched”

“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”

“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”

“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”

ya dig

it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing

but like

you guys did everything together

practiced

ate

shopped

toured

pranked

T O G E T H E R

like who else in SM mattered

SHINee who?

JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH

you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day

YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK

BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---

you get the point

ANYWAY

as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual

YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS

yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN

TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS

my ot12

and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone

errbody knows that be bull the size of russia

yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums

LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER

LET HIM LIVEEEEEE

this moment must never die

ya boy be mindin his own business then

BAM BITCH

you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af

rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you

ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you

like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible

but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days

you had that kind of effect on people

i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele

but that was more than enough

you were there with him

and that’s what mattered

But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you

he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before

the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke

the way you always hug him from behind

you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure, 

but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more 

and he 3

there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him

and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples

which were really faint like gurl--

chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO

CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES

why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????

????????

okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more

look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL

and suho

and chen

anD FINE--

yeah you did poke his too

literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh

BT WHY KYUNGSOO

ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly

so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it

so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung

but the day he  wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM

like a date but not a date date he could tell

BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY

so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason

and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”

instant regret

but like Baek did give him some advice

like 5% was advice

the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her

so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”

and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say

BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY

“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”

Chanyeol punched him for saying that

but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years

cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it

Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like

“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”

That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful

So he just went for it

and asked if you wanted to get lunch

and then after eating, you guys walked back

and he just sort of blurted it out

“Joahaeyo.”

you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”

bitch are you for real rn

before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”

ok

wait

w h a t

“Minseok oppa told me.”

?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW

Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”

Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign

“I told him I liked him...”

“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 

cool story bro

you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him

cool cool cool

I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT 

THANKS

wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious

wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung

wait was this why you cried that one time

WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO

BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE

WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED

AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID

WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize

“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“

he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said

“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him

“I’ll tell him to stop.”

You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”

“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”

“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”

“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”

“yes but-- 

OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”

and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol

Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though

he caught your arm

“What tf are you doing?“

“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”

Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?

“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”

[wooahaes]

Hi!! It’s the baby teume here again lol thank you sm for the rec I’ve been through their blog as well aksnsksmskdnd but hey I’m a svt Stan too !! It’s so weird we Stan a lot of the same groups and I’m so grateful we have such a good writer in all the fandoms I’m in as well 😂😂

As for my treasure bias, it was originally mashiho (I mean it still is) but I’ve added more people to the list lmaooo like yedam as of now and I’ve been crushing on Hyunsuk since last night 💀 it’s impossible to decide lol and I’ve just sorta accepted the fact that I’m just gonna probably work my way thru the whole group at some point lmaooooo and my favourite song that I’m obsessed with right now are I love You and JikJin as well as both the versions of darari! (At this point I feel like I should just name their entire discography lol ) it’s been maybe a week or two since I started stanning them and I’ve already finished watching all the tmap episodes and most of their variety content lol I think I might have a problem💀

im about to take a final but i wanna respond first hehe i love talkin abt my boys

omg then double hi then!! i literally cannot remember if i got into svt first or trsr because it was around the same time but i joked with my non-kpop friends that a group has to have at least 8 members for me to stan (or be SHINee) but brb gonna cry thank u for that compliment!! theres SOOO many good svt writers out there <3

(rest is under a readmore bc this feels long and i dont wanna subject anyone scrolling past to a long post dskfhdsf)

also incredibly valid of u... my trsr bias changed a lot before i finally settled on yoshi (for rn, at least? hopefully it wont change bc i love the him but things happen lmao). i personally came in originally being biased for asahi and junkyu and then i realized yoshis the literal cutest and so is mashi and so is hyunsuk... i think now ive just been calling myself a jline stan (haruto isnt as high as the others but ive adopted him so hes my son now alongside the others in the maknae line /hj). u have taste tho <3 but stanning trsr means u have taste sooo-

but also literally felt tht abt crushing on hyunsuk... watching the concert was what got me lmao his stage presence is sooo good and he cares so much abt the others!! also i love his facial expressions lmao he does this cute lil nose scrunchy thing sometimes and its. genuinely so cute.

GOD i loved "i love you" so much when i was first getting into trsr!! the lil fingerheart and bob they do to the "lovin' you lovin' you love you" bit??? lives rent free in my head idk why its just so cute. + the song has some of my fave choreo from them and i cant explain why lol

jikjin is also v v good!! this comeback was my first comeback as a teume so i have a special place in my heart for jikjin <3 and DARARI my MOST beloved!!! i adore her so much... i was literally so excited for darari choreo and then she was given to me <3 i still kinda wish we had a real mv for darari but im not gonna argue w getting the remix lmao (both slap but i prefer the og bc for the softer comfy vibes)

also ur so much better than me dsfkhdsf i dont remember where i left off on tmap but i got busy with life stuff and dropped it for a bit :( i do wanna go back and watch the rest of it sometime!! i respect u so much tho sdfkhdsf im just bad at sitting down and watching stuff in general lmao (my kdramas usually take... several months for me to actually finish watching)

anyway welcome to stanning treasure u will not regret this <3 i love them all so so much and ive been missing them a lot lately :(

[borathae]

SIBIII CH34🥺🥺

I MEAN WE KNEW YG WAS COMING BACK... BUT DAMN SOMEBODY ELSE HAS RETURNED! N IM LOVING THIS ONE AS WELL!!😭😚

I THINK IT MAY BE RISKY N EVEN DUMB TO SOME BUT TO ME THE WAY OC STRAIGHT UP TELLS JK THAT FK IT IM NOT SCARED OF U JUST RELAX IS SUCH A GREAT THING... IT MAKES ME SO PROUD.🥺🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

MAYBE IM READING INTO THINGS BUT SIB, LISTEN-

YG licking her wound off also symbolises his return... he is here to protect her, but he is also gentle about her, uk in animal kingdom licking is a gesture of care but simaltaneously showing whats theirs... its like marking territory?😂 But anyways THIS MOMENT WAS TOO INTIMATE TO ME... THE WAY THEY HUGGED AND

I missed you😭😭😭😭😭😭

IF ONE THING HAS REMAINED CONSTANT THRU YEARS OF YGS LIFE IS HIS RESILIENCE... if he decides one thing.. he does it... he decided he ll be more communicative(is this a word?🤔) and he did that! YG IS ALWAYS IN A MENTAL WORKOUT N TBH I DONT THINK ANYBODY ELSE CUD DO IT THAT GUD🤗

Yup he IS still grumpy!😭😂

Yoongi Boongie😂😂😭😭😭😭 OC🤗🤗

When YG growled at first i was like TOO MUCH ... NONONO BACK OFF ITS OK EVERYTHING IS OKKK

BUT THEN😳

YES YG WE LOVE U🤗😚

THE KISS😳✨😭😭

HIM SAYING SHE IS BEAUTIFUL😳✨😭

Tell me what you think SOMETIMES IT HITS ME HOW U R GRADUALLY CHANGING MY TYPE OF MEN I LIKE... NOW I LIKE GRUMPY BUT SOFTIE VAMPIRE BOYS... N GUESS WHAT SIBI!!!!?!?!?!?!?! THEY DONT EXIST🙂

UGH ITS OK OC IS LEARNING TOO.... ITS HARD FOR HER TOO... I dont want to bring myself in btw but sib uk im so tired of the entire dating-crush culture, i deliberately pushed away the only one person i felt anything for after 2-3 yrs... someone who pulled me out of my anxiety and self harm phase... just cuz its hard for me to see them giving their 100% to me while i always fail to keep up as im too busy trying to deal wid my fucked up head, i cant keep hurting them while they keep trying to stop making me hurt so much all the time... so i meant WE CANT EVEN IMAGINE WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE 3 PPL WHO MEAN SO MUCH TO YOU... AND KEEP GIVING UR BEST TO ALL... AND ON TOP OF IT THEM BEING VAMPS N ALL THE BACKSTORY... ITS NOT EASY.

HE IS FINALLY SPEAKING HIS HEART OUT... N I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.✨✨💓

THE ENDING OF THIS CH😭😭😭😭😭

SIB I HV MAJOR ISSUES WID LETTING GO THINGS I LIKE... I CANT GIVE OUT A TSHIRT I GOT WHEN I WAS 13 THAT DOESNT EVEN FIT ME CUZ I FEEL IT HAS MEMORIES... I CANT LET GO OF A RANDOM PENCIL CUZ IT HAS MEMORIES😂... YA IM A BIT OF A FREAK AND IHV NEVER BEEN SO ATTACHED TO A STORY BEFORE... N SA IS ENDING. ITS A LIL TOO MUCH FOR ME RN SO IM JUST IGNORING IT... ILL LET ALL OF IT HIT ME AT ONCE WHEN THE LAST CH COMES OUT... TILL THEN ... IM LOVING EVERYTHING U R BRINGING TO US... IHV SAID THIS BEFORE ILL SAY IT AGAIN... I ADORE YOU.💜💜💜

-The Yelling Anon

TO ME THE WAY OC STRAIGHT UP TELLS JK THAT FK IT IM NOT SCARED OF U JUST RELAX IS SUCH A GREAT THING... IT MAKES ME SO PROUD.🥺🙌🏻

Okay but it is!! 😔😔

No but like I totally get you about the licking part. I wouldn't say that this was Yoongi marking her as his' and more an honest symbol of "I am back and you're finally safe again. I promise as long as I am here you are safe. You won't find no harm through me" and honestly this is ripping me apart :(

Tell me what you think SOMETIMES IT HITS ME HOW U R GRADUALLY CHANGING MY TYPE OF MEN I LIKE... NOW I LIKE GRUMPY BUT SOFTIE VAMPIRE BOYS... N GUESS WHAT SIBI!!!!?!?!?!?!?! THEY DONT EXIST🙂

HAHAHAH THIS IS ME @ MYSELF IN THE MIRROR like bitch please chill we all know that irl men aren't like that HAHAHAHAH although yoongi does give off major "written by a woman" vibes sO 😩

just cuz its hard for me to see them giving their 100% to me while i always fail to keep up as im too busy trying to deal wid my fucked up head, i cant keep hurting them while they keep trying to stop making me hurt so much all the time

Sometimes you have to remember that a burden is something that was forced upon your shoulders. And if you do, then remember that this person chose to shoulder your struggles, which means you can't be a burden to them.

And also pulling away from a person hurts them a lot too. Especially when they are left with "holy fuck I actually loved them a 100% and even that wasn't enough to keep someone in my life. what's seriously wrong with me and my personality?" that shit fucks someone up.

Which is also really interesting because you also said that you can't let things go. Dropping people comes easy but letting go of an inanimate object is difficult, very interesting 🤔👀

This wasn't me throwing shade btw just us doing our little phsych analysis HAHAHAH I FEEL YOU THOUGH I SERIOUSLY DON'T WANT SANGUIS ALPHA TO END :( IT HURTS ME :( 😭💜

[shoot-me-with-a-crayon]

for the number ask one, 1-50

ooh, anon. you are one curious piece of shit.

1. I have one, but it’s pretty stupid and I've only had it like idk 3 or 4 times? But basically its set in a setting that kinda reminds me of the city on Tatooine in star wars. and me and my bro(in the dream we always look how we looked when we were like 6-7 lmao), and we’re just running around apparently being chased by a t-rex? I'm not sure bc i could never turn around to look but my bro seemed adamant about it being a t-rex,  we run into a building and it has this weird fucker who idk how to describe(I just looked it up and the weird thing in my dream kinda looked like Watto from star wars, aka this fucker:

) anyways we go into a building with this fucker in it and he’s just like “Hey stay here and you’ll be safe ;)” and me and my bro are just like “OK WE TRUST U” and then he proceeds to try and feed us to some fuckin raptor or something and then me and my bro run away. And then we continue to run and run through his building being snapped at by raptor lookin fuckers when we run through. Then at some point we see our mom, and we run towards her but we can never reach her. The dream just ends when we’re like 5 feet away from her. ??? the first time i had this dream i was fuckin 6 or 7 and i fell asleep in my bed and woke up sitting at the counter in our kitchen at the time and in one of those tall stools, with a glass of water in front of me, the kitchen light was on , and i was alone??? How did i get there?? How did i get the milk?? How did I turn on the light?? Who knows.

2. Apples or bananas.

3. Definitely Sweet

4. This sounds stupid, but I'm only moderately spooked of the dark tbh(and that's why i have two nightlights in my room ;D)

5. Uh according to google a pickle is both a fruit and vegetable, but ima just say my least favorite vegetable is a pickle.

6. Uuuhhhhhhh probably Pop Art(i had to look up art movements for this shit)

7. Yes, i do drink milk.

8. I’m assuming I'm not allowed to include fanfics so lemme go grab the last book i read(which i read 2 months ago.. whoops) fuck the last book i read was The Twisted Ones,,, “ ”That’s not Charlie.” ”

9. Depends

10. Hm.. I’d have to say probably learning that my mom’s dad, GPa(aka what we call him) died four days after i was born..

11. Honestly, my Dad. and honestly, as sad as this sounds, he probably affected me in the worst way possible.

12. Oohhhh, I actually thought about this last night lmao. For dogs, probably either a Husky, a Black Lab, or an Australian Shephard. And for cats, probably a Siamese, a Turkish Angora, or a Japanese Bobtail. :)

13. Awwww!! Ok ok ok, so 5-Yertle, 4-Turt, 3-Turtie, 2- dudeski/rainbow(my girlfriend has a turtle and she named him rainbow, but she renamed him to be dudeski now, and honestly i just love those names), 1-Crush.

14. Probably an art teacher tbh.

15. Dakota and Frank. I just really hate those names and all the people I've met with those names suck so far. And i just slightly dislike anybody with the names Andrew and Katherine, idk why tho lmao.

16. Either F or Y

17. Piano, ukulele, and anything percussion related lmao.

18. Maggie(

19. A spoopy ghost >:D

20. Of the three I've only ever had fish, but id fuckin LOVE to have a snake :0

21. Both.

22. Atm i really like Forget Me Nots :)

23. Neither.

24. Uh not really lmao

25. Uhm kinda.

26. There's been a lot dude

27. I collect gemstones and pins :)

28. 4.

29. I once slept all day and woke up at around 11:40 PM :)

30. In my room alone(and not including the stickers on my walls, uhh 6(technically 7)

31. Never. I still do. ;)

32. Skittles, Starbursts, and Airheads.

33. Either pie or brownies.

34. Yeah, i haven't really used it tho.. But it’s a Canon EOS Rebel Gii i think? Whatever it’s this thing:

35. Ye, currently I have a necklace w/ a golden Freddy dog tag on it one of my brothers bought me, i have a hair tie on my left wrist(i count it as jewelry >:|), a cute lil bracelet on my right arm, and a cute lil silver ring on my left ring finger(it refuses to fit on any other finger, even on my right hand. It fuckin refuses and idk why lmao)

36. Sunset

37. With headphones

38. Well my fav show rn(since im still a kid lmao) is definitely Queer Eye

39. I have two fav spots. The first is in my room, and it’s at the head of my “bed”(im sleeping on a mattress on the floor until we can afford to get me an actual bed lol), where my desk is and i sit on the floor with my feet under the desk while I lean back into my pillows. The other spot is on our couch in the living room, on one end of the couch there isn't a back or an arm rest, and almost right next to it is a window with a fan in it that we always keep on(sitting there is especially comfy bc it’s been sat on so much there's a giant soft indent there and the fan blows in cool air and it’s just great.)

40. cold(only bc when i’m cold i have an excuse to wear my hoodie and wrap my blanket around myself lol)

41. I… i dont have any good jokes :(

42. Well it’s not the weirdest thing but once i saw two boys naruto running past me while at school.

43. CD.

44. My girlfriend and my friend Antonio :(

45. Japan and my shitty fuckin household ;D.

46. We had one who would sub for almost every fuckin class i think. And she had a kid who went to the middle school i was going to at the time(she was in my grade and was really nice tbh), but she really sucked? Liked she would sub for our choir class and basically ignore us the entire time, and she subbed for my science class for an entire quarter of the school year last year, and she basically fucked up our entire routine in hat class and when our teacher came back we couldn't even fix our shit while the actual fuckin teacher was back. Jfc, i just don't like that sub tbh,,

47. Not really

48. Idk, but i believe in ghosts so uh,

49. I’ll describe BOTH! >:D ok so first, family.

My oldest bro, he’s 20 and borderline autistic, we get in fights a lot but he can actually be real nice(never tell him i said that tho).

My second oldest bro, hes 18(turning 19 in 14 days), really nice and fuckin hilarious, and probably my fav of my brothers, also he works at McDonalds :).

My third oldest bro, he’s 15(turning 16 in 5 days :0) kinda mean, ok no really mean, and very bratty, very annoying, and very dramatic, he is good at writing tho.

My dad(ew), he’s in his 50s, a huge dick, deserves nothing but sadness(in my opinion), yells a lot, just an overall asshole.

My mom(yay), in her 40s, really nice :D, really funny!, a huge dork, deserves nothing but love and happiness, she’s basically our best friend while also bein a strict and good mom

Now my pETS!! :DDDD.

Pepper, a very fluffy black and white adult kitty boye, can be v angry, but also can be v nice, you never know which he is until you pet him.

Dirty, a gray and white adult kitty boye, very nice and deserves all the pets and cuddles.

Smokie, gray kitten boye, very sneaky, very annoying, i hardly ever see him nowadays :(.

Mama, a black(with a lil bit of white) adult kitty, not an actual mom, just really fat and has worms, easily spooked(it’s sad lmao), loves to be pet but also loves to bite u when u pet her.

Runner,(my fav) a black adult kitty who’s really sweet and deserves the fuckin universe, he learned to run before he learned to walk, v nice and sweet

Anyways

50. HAHAHAHAH. No.

OK IM DONE! This took too long lmao whoops

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Do you remember?

😳 I don’t think you remember the “exact moment” I felt a spark for you. You A.D.D. mf)

But yea, I had a crush on you since then.

I made a sad cover of “Sprung” by T-Pain the night that I realized I actually did like you. And that I was ok with it. I had finally accepted it. I fell for my coworker who was already in a relationship. But that was late of January 2019.

I think we had this conversation in December.

Right around the end of Fall Semester at the college bookstore.

I remember I walked over to the unofficial, packing table that was placed right before you to get to the bookshelves of all this many textbooks that I never gave a fuck about.

We were unpacking boxes of school supplies for inventory with a few others.

I started grabbing some boxes while you said “Hey, what's up?”

And Then I probably awkwardly, “Alright, How’s it going?”

I don’t know why I was nervous around you. Probably because this was our only other time we had to talk other than those last 2 that made me very uncomfortable and confused. 

(I used to be so jittery around that time, because I hated being the newbie, in a new place with a bunch of people I didn’t know. I was shy, silent, observant and goofy awkward if someone tried to talk to me. I avoided being in view of conversations because I hated being in the center of attention. It was too uncomfortable. )

Convo #1

The first day we met, was my training day with another new girl named Nicole.

I had asked you and her for your names as I introduced myself

And I noticed your voice was a lot deeper than I expected it to be? Compared your soft white-like pale skin. I thought you were Latino-mixed. I had no idea that you were black, too. (omgg this sounds so racist typing this shit out loud lmaooo wtf) You kinda sounded similar to my cousin Joq, who’s a firefighter.

I seemed a bit taller than you, but your brown hair was kinda cute. It was like a curly top with a faded cut on both sides. Your natural Brown hair was my favorite on you. Cause’ sometimes I saw speckles of light brown, gold, and grey when you were outside or took pictures in the sunlight. You seemed chill, and you had these cute fluffy cheeks like they were freshly made dough covered in baker’s flour. Like right before they toss it up in the air to make it bounce.

Plus, I didn’t know if you were a girl or a boy. Or just a girl, who like dressing up like a tomboy. Because you had very pretty eyes. And I didn't notice any facial hair.....but no I wasn't looking hard at your face. It was just stuff I remembered to look back on later on that day. I didn’t want to ask, because one, thats none of my business and two, I couldn’t make eye contact with you. It just didn’t seem right at the time. I glanced, but not too hard because eye contact still makes me uncomfortable to this very day.

I had asked you if you could show me how to clock-in, how to post a timeline thing for the store’s facebook out of curiosity because I saw you do one, and I didn’t know how to put the size tags on the hooks of the hangers....which was new to me too. You seemed a lil tight lipped, so I probably thought I should stop asking you for help. I didn’t know you preferred being called “they” until that one girl with shaved head, I think Jordan, had answered my question about you being a guy or a girl. I wanted to know, but I wondered if I was like that, I would have assumed someone was being too nosy or judgmental. So I didn't speak to you about it until later. Also, you had a very intimidating smile. Maybe it was because I had never seen you smile with your teeth out unless it was because you were laughing at a joke I made or something weird I said.

Convo #2

I don’t know how it started, but I was readjusting clothes to put back onto their hangers and I saw you were in between register 2 and 3. This was the first time I had found out you had a girlfriend....who also worked at the same store....fucking kill me.

Because she started to walk in, and then you yelled to me, “Do you got a bae?” from across the counter I was standing at. And I said “Huh? No”

In my head, Im like why are you asking me that? But then as she came into your view you said “Cuz I got a bae.” And she came behind the register where you were at to clock in and you ignored me and greeted her with a kiss. Then you pointed at her and said to me “That’s my bae.” 

And I looked at you so confused like....you fucking weirdo.

And this all happened within a span of like 8 seconds or so....

It was like you were so curious to know if I was single or not, because later on you had asked me again like as if you had forgot, 

“Do you got a bae?” 

“No.”

But you said it so quick it was like weird because it was in passing that you asked me that again. Like how could you forget that you asked me that? And why were you asking me that if you had a girlfriend already? Were you trying to set me up with someone else? I didn’t want any trouble with you, so I kinda backed off from you because one, I barely even knew you to have that kinda question answered. But me being in shock that you asked, made me blurt out no....like nooo wtf I wasn’t supposed to answer. I used to stick to my morals, tough.

OK>>>SO BACK TO WHEN MY CRUSH STARTED

We were unpacking boxes, greetings...

You asked me “Where you from?” And somehow we were talking about how weird and thirsty it was for Bella to make a set of her phone number out on paper for her to pass to all these college guys. You said it was because she liked getting guy’s attention. And I said yea with all those business cards. 

And then somehow the topic of Bella’s sexuality had us talking about our own. 

You had asked me if I was gay and I hesitantly said, “I wasn’t sure.” Cause I wasn’t sure if I wanted people know that I was at least bicurious because of my mom. My dad eh.... I was more afraid of her ever finding out. Also, because I honestly never quite had the chance to officially know, I had only looked at certain girls in that certain way unless I had gotten to know them a little better, if I already knew they was gay, or I was just watching lesbian porn. I especially like tongue kissing videos the most. Idk why tongue sucking make out vids was such a clit boner for me. Especially when they suck each others....hold up back to the story 🤣.

But then, you told me that the first time you lost virginity was in third grade. You said “I think about sex all the time.”

And this is where I said “Oh,” because it wasn’t like you were casually saying this. Your eyes changed. 

They grew so full, so big and so dark, I didn't even know why you were looking at me like that and how the fuck did you make me so fucking scared and aroused all at the same time. Like I said “eye contact makes me uncomfortable” (It was an adrenal thing...I think. Lets just say anxiety for rn.)

Especially when it looks like a big, bad wolf wants to see what you taste like.

You walked away to go help a customer, but as you came back you asked “so are you a virgin?” and I said “Huh?”

I was still short stiff with a clit boner that I tried to make go away, how else was I supposed to feel??? I was like oohhhhhh shittttt are we gay? I don’t even know what exactly “they” are.

I noticed you started to stare at me a little bit too longer than you should have been looking at my face, but I could understand why now. You knew.

You knew that I was attracted to you.

And my flushed cheeks would not go down as you kept looking at me when we talked. I think thats when we got separated again, because boss told me to start helping people in the aisles.

I looked at you differently after,

I didn’t know what made me pulse up like that for you, because I rarely got clit boners. I thought it was a sign, because it was blinking. Just like my heart was beating.

Looking back on it now, you probably were praying on me, since I was a virgin. You told me way later on that you liked sex with virgins. How come I didn’t runaway after you said that?....I was a blind fool for those eyes. 

Fuck. 

I ignored all those red flags lol. You know what's even more weirder, I just realized you set that story up 1st to ask me if I was a virgin first, then you asked me if I was gay. But then again, I did mention “what would you say is another word for vagina?” I said “blossom😊” and you said “blossom🤨?” 

Cause of course, the only pussy I’ve seen was on porn, but I didn’t watch them “up-close masturbation” videos until after we....😳 

How dumb, innocent, and naive I must have been.

I had a hard time accepting my crush for you because you were my 1st gay crush. I came out the closet for you. Over Christmas break, I had to rationalize what it all meant: do we have romantic feelings? do we care if you had a dick, pussy, or none (because you were nonbinary, but I still wanted you), do we care if this crush never comes out because you had a girlfriend? How desperate was I to kiss you? I had never kissed someone outside my gender...I had only kissed one guy that I found out was my cousin at 16. I was 22 and never had a real kiss, still a virgin, still in the closet....at my mom’s house.

My insecurities were through the roooofff and my overthinking made me hesitant to even consider ever ever ever ever telling you...because 2019 was about to start and we were about to get let off as temp workers. I thought maybe I should just let it go because you started working somewhere else and I never saw you at the store for awhile.

Even when boss ended your term 1st, I was so sad, so emotional because I never got to hang out with you like that. We used to play tag with the note clips on people’s shirts, and I used to crack jokes about Brian’s hair patch. It was fun, but I was ready to give up until I saw you at your last day. 

I wanted to help you out, but you said you got it when you were putting up calculators. In my head, I was like noooo, let me help you out. Its your last day, how else am I going to see you again? You didn't even have a facebook or instagram with your name, I checked 1st 🥺. I thought maybe it was supposed to be short lived like a crush...until I had my 1st dream about you and I was like ohhhh hellllll nahhhh. Its a sign bitch, go. 

So I got you and your gf number off the employee directory list boss had for us to contact each other in case we wanted to trade shifts. 

I texted something similar to you like “hey, just wanted to say goodbye to you since I didn't get the chance...”

(which was true because I said goodbye to you the day you came back in to get your scarf, and then you left. Without saying anything back to me out the door. I thought maybe my voice was too soft...or you just didn’t like me as a person..... 😔)

“Just wanted to say it was nice working with you. Maybe I’ll see you around campus?”

But you must have left me on read because I didn't hear nothing back for 2weeks until your gf invited me and some coworkers to go bowling late in January...right around this time. I was the only one that showed up like lol wtf. 

I felt like an idiot after we started talking about Taylor.

Thats when I heard my head’s dark side say “BINGO”

Because I had no idea you two were having a threesome with her. In fact I was a little bit jealous that you two were seemed so close as friends...compared to you and I. But I thought it was weird when Bella asked you about if she should hook up with Taylor, you said “Nah, she a little too crazy for you.”

That shoulda been my hint.

Cause’ you even talked about looking at other girls with Key, and I became jealous and insecure then too,

Because Key, looked like a fucking bulldog. Why tf would you want to have sex with her? (my jealous petty thoughts...smh) I looked wayyyyy prettier than her. I thought I should have been the more worthy one to have ben chosen.

I thought you must have liked skinny girls to have liked Taylor like that.

And yea...that me fall down in my esteem too. Sighhhhhh, I thought she must have been lucky to have been picked by you.

Ewwww why am I going goo-goo-ga-ga all over again.

What still rattles me up to this day is...why was I so jealous of your “sub-slutstitues” and not your actual girlfriend? I never understood that. 

Was it because me and her were actually starting to become friends and I wasn’t bothered by you and her’s chemistry. It was weird af for me, because usually I would have scowled at someone who was with someone I wanted. 

But I guess I actually liked her too,

Which made this last part pretty hard to accept.

That I was a bad friend to her too,

I had only became friends with her to get closer to you, but in the process I wanted her to stay too. We were comfortable with each other and I never experienced being comfortable with intimacy with another woman like her. She made me feel calm, but in a different way than you did. She made me calm like a mother would...like I was a motherless child.

That touch that I had been so longing for, was right there.

And I knew it, after she kissed me. There was no going back. Like I’m right here for both of you now. Not just one.

It was sad, comforting, and rejuvenating all at the same time. 

You guys sparked a light in me that I knew I had, but was afraid to light it because of what other people wanted me to be. I never knew that I could make my own choices and do as I pleased because I was always in my mother’s spotlight. And so they became home in my heart and she became my ease of pain.

Maybe I just didn't want to be alone. But I swear, something felt different between you guys and I was so close to proposing us throuple rings. But thats not what she wanted....nuh uh.

Something changed after that 1st lil passionate moment.

Its like she didn’t want me, I was just using you to have some fun.

What I thought was true, wasn't true at all.

And just like that she became my mother. And just like my real mother, I hate her all over again. 

I thought how could you be with someone who was so cold and bitter?

She never liked me, she was emotionally unavailable.

Thats why my heart didn’t go ding for her like it did for you. It was like she was always gone, but she was always there.

[the-main-characterr]

realised i forgot to watch tharntype,

will do rn.

kinda feel like i also grew out of that but eh we’ll see

types aggressive being still annoys me

y u always >:(

if i dated someone for 7 years and they still didn’t marry me, i’d be insecure ASF

i like 2gether more than tharntype

it’s prettier

you could’ve done ur alarm urself bitch

why are you talking so slow?

why are u judging em tho just watch the show

i think everyone that knows me a lil bit knows why i like 2gether more

7 years are actually a lot-

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

i kinda want one but i also don’t like what

i said it before and i’ll say it again: types aggressive behaviour annoys me

not tryna b judgemental but if u stick to type for 7 years u have all my respect

watching this hurts in my soul

that p’cir and phu r cool

love the sound effects

love the time i lived in when i watched the first season

if i’m so judgemental already, i also don’t like their kitchen

it’s so boring wth

wow- now i feel bad.

sorry.

the way tharn puts his phone in his front pocket is everything but *judgemental comment here* i can’t think of any bad things rn

i’m so scared of both of them like they’re always like >:(

you can’t just force someone into marriage-

no but like why would a stranger want to know if you have a relationship or not i mean you’re not going to random people and say hi we’re married

i mean i would do that but i’m the main character-

if someone “could stay mad at me” id be fucked-

yall are so sensitive just touch the bread

that phegun and p’cir are cute ngl

no like literally yall are so dramatic

i liked fiat but wth

doc is cute

just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re sharing him-

type improved tbh

awh they cute-

the music———————— jail

marriage.

POSSESSIVEEEEEEE

lucky me being zen-meryem rn

perfect representation on how personality can destroy everything

until this day, i still don’t know what a lines ID is supposed to be

this was too cute i’m ded

rip me

i love the sound effects yfrvjjvgjmkb

love their style

fiat u can’t just-

come for a taken man that’s the most disgusting thing possible

like even if he wasnt happy with tharn or in a toxic relationship it’s not ur stupid job to manipulate and steal wth

leo u have all my respect

wouldnt mind being ur bestie

stfu fiat u r a toxic attention seeking bitch that is nothing more but unethical

selfish brat

this is cute-

love

ngl the fact it’s been 7 years n they stilsbxbwjbdwbbx

cute

ok leo i understand why u took it back but i still respect u for even doing it

phugun is too possessive

of p’cir idk the names but one of them

the not cute one

idk why yall hate on no so much he funny af

oh i see

phugun is the cute one

P’CIR IS TOOO POSSESSIVE

let the man live wth

seo is literally it dnxjdbjdbsbf

what did actually happen to the guy that’s been a bitch and possessed over tharn

lol i actually feel bad for type. it’s the first time i see him EMOTIONAL and damn-

must hurt.

omg istg i also wonder why he doesn’t quit

this is too much I CANT

Imma suffocate on the cutegsbsbdbbd ah i’m dying

hmph ig im just to tough to cry😤

WOAH

heart attack-

SHXBHSBC A MAN

doc, ily

this picture-in-picture thingy is so cool

i remember a time type didn’t want to admit he missed him

the hdhxb ishdiuebchw immaculate

fiat i’m scared of u

“every time i really want someone, i never get them” FELT. FELT FELT FELT difference is that my dumbass don’t want them when they want me🥲 it’s ok. time knows what it’s doing

fiat u r heartless

imagine having a healthy relationship with ur mother in law

yall be having literal bodyguards

i could SELL MY SOUL HE DID SOMETHING IN THAT DRINK

ok i wasn’t sure about it but by the amount that guy said cheers i couldn’t be more convinced that this man is evil

the fact that he didn’t tuck his shirt is the whole evidence

DATE ALREADY I CANT HHGGYYGCCXDDXCGBB U N CHAMP FOREVER

doc-

you heard him don’t leave him

HUH WAIT I HAVE TO WAIT!?

THOUGHT I CAN

WATCH IT ALL THROUGH

if you don’t move ur ass rn i’ll come to thailand myself n kick ur ass

too invested-

JANUARY 22?/!/£:!.!3):£WHAT

i cant-

okay cool i waited a few weeks imma continue wasching now

oh i remember. i was yelling at that basketball kid

STOP ASSAULTING A DRUNK PERSON AH J CANT MY EYES

omg leo thanks u saved my life thank u ily

you don’t have to be on top of him just to question him-

be scared stupid bitch

types just simply sleeping somewhere completely left alone👁👄👁

DUDE WHY U SO AGGRESSIVE

i CaN bE yOuR hUsBaNd BITCH ION REALLY THINK SO

WOW

I FORGOT UR NAME BUT DAYUMN SHOW HIM

i wish i had someone that kept his promise under every circumstance

ppl that promise me things b like i NeVeR sAiD tHaT hUhH

yall just so addicted to each other like chill

if i’d marry someone, i’d feel so old

like hi i’m MARRIED

stop with the i miss u it’s so emotional

tharn you look so done with ur life lmfao

fiat you’re so annoying istg

cant u just ply basketball and leave these ppl alone like piss off

why yall crushing on type crush on me

fiat go study or sumn srsly

STOP

omg STAHP HE JUST SAID WATCH UR KNEE

DONT U FUGGIN KISS HIM OMFG

ah doorbell.

thanks.

phu you’re so funny

WHAT- wth fiat please stop you’re ridiculous

For seven years, i’ve never had eyes for anyone but him. damn- imagine-

my hearts b shattering ITS NOT HIS FAULT

well okay there’s a lot of evidence against

STILL

ITS NOT HIS FAULT

i mean i see tharns point but

ARGHZBSHSBXBWBXB

for personal reasons i will be passing away

the audacity of this bitch is giving me ANGER

imagine buying wedding rings just to come home n hear “we should take a break”

fuck anger i’ll cry

why even want fiat💀

AH DONT CRY J CANT HSBSHABX

phu you’re so cute like THE CHARACTER

thanya you’re such a queen i can’t explain

this scene is so funny they all b sitting there like 👀👀👀👀👀

MY SOUL

you disgust me.

ok first off phu gun your style is so cool like that white shirt- FABULOUS 10/54

n second off, my dumbass felt like WHO IS THAT MAN HITTING ON FIAT I KNOW HIM

silly me it’s cir-

handsome man ngl

WHY DROP UR SUITCASE HUH

don’t tell me he died

oh god he didn’t die-

WHATS THE MATTER THEN

you guys are so sensitive can’t get hurt at all

always going like OH SHIT I NEEDA GO TO THE HOSPITAL

“cant even make an instant noodle” that’s why we admire u lmao

ok chill u just spilled it

you look so cute when u pissed at urself shxbsbc

ah thanya u r so cool

HERE IT IS THE HEALTHY MARRIAGE I WAS SEARCHING IN THIS SERIES OMFG

“lack of communication can even break apart the most loving relationship” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN GHE BACK

COMMUNICATION, WHAT A LOVELY WORD

this series is fulfilled now

i could listen to these two forever

i cant with leo and fiat fcstvhjfftc

don’t act like the shy bitch now u stoopid

this is hard to watch ew

khom being a philosopher of love fxtvjbj

he didn’t just leave his i miss u

yall tryna get drunk with my heart

STOP CRYINGGGGG

im gon suffocate

stop i didn’t start this show to murder myself

pls calm ur face u look so aggressive

i wonder how many times tharn talked to sleeping type in those 7 years

u r basically talking to a wall

OH

HE WROTE THAT SONG

oh just to be someone to know what ordained is

those blue thingys r so cool

thanks this is everything i needed

doc champ, how long shall i wait

he’s not bald-

did they even cut his eyebrows-

oh monk.

didn’t they shoot these scenes during rona-

those r some fire makeup skillz

HE DID NOT

YOURE SIMPLY PLAYING WITH HIS HEART

WHATDIDHESAYYYY

officially ripped my heart into pieces

that was definitely not a kiss kiss

[jaehyunskitten22]

Tell us your story with your ex, please :3

Well back in october we were doing marching band stuff and we bonded over our mutual strong dislike (hatred) for some of the other marchers because they don't take anything seriously they're loud and disgusting etc... I developed a major crush on him on that bight alone. So we started talking a shit ton and my crush on him eventually faded a lil bit but then it completely resurrected itself because he would compliment me a lot and he made me feel pretty (fun fact he played a role in getting me to like myself) and it was blatantly obvious that we both liked each other but neither of us really wanted to believe it yknow? Anyway he was having troubles with one of his friends (wasn't the largest fan of her and how she treated him and the way he acted with her would make me jealous) and I was trying to get him to drop her because she wasn't being nice to him but he wouldn't and as someone who liked him very much it hurt me to know that he was getting his feelings hurt and I contacted one of our mutual 'friends' i guess (she was our ex drama sponsor) for advice and I told her that I really like him and that I hated to see him hurt and spoiler alert!!! He was telling her about how much he like me!!! And she was like 😏 So she told him what I was saying and then his and my chat got suspiciously quiet and im like 'o shit did I say something wrong?' And he was randomly like 'did you by chance tell her something in confidence' and im like 'tHIS GIRL DID N O T' AND SHE FREAKING SNITCHED TO HIM ABOUT MY CRUSH AND I WAS SHOOK AND HE WAS SHOOK AND HE ASKED TO ME HOMECOMING AKSNSK and people at my school were very nosy and ish so i wanted to keep things quiet bc i cant deal with nosy people and I honestly think that he thought that I was ashamed of him and I wasn't, im just really shy about relationship shit and yeah. I really liked him (i still do probably) but like i said before i would get jealous of his relationship with his best friend (i still feel like a bitch for getting so jealous ugh) and i was also going through a lot of shit with my mental health and I literally could not handle a relationship at that time. There was too much going on in my mind and i literally closed myself off to him and i started ignoring him because i was so upset and i literally hate myself for treating him that way because he was only trying to help me and love me and i pushed him away kasnsj and i broke up with him. Now that i am emotionally stable (thank you medication) i think about him semi often and wonder if it could have been better if I just would have let him in but at the same time i know that i didn't completely know what was wrong with me either sigh. I don't think he hates me anymore but I still want to apologize for the way I treated him you feel?Sigh that wasnt supposed to be so sad 😂He's still a good friend of mine and he's still an adorable lil bean 😂♥️ I'm on my period so I'm feeling a lot of feelings rn 😩

[heyekiel]

Many Questions Tag

rules: answer these 85 statements

tagged by @th7thsense thank u i love u !!

THE LAST

1. drink: tea 2. phone call: mom 3. text message: it was sephora jfbjfbn 4. song you listened to: ludovico einaudi - questa notte (this dude awesome check him out if you like classical) 5. time you cried: yesterday night? 6. dated someone twice: when i was figuring things out 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yeah i kinda regret everything but also dont cause i know better where i am now 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: not sure if it was related but yeah

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. black 13. white 14. deep deep red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: yes, i made a few here on tumblr !! bless yall ily 16. fallen out of love: nah love as yall hear it is a forreign concept to me 17. laughed until you cried: yup (thanks sis) 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes? i dont know? 19. met someone who changed you: nope 20. found out who your friends are: dont have friends 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life:  lol you rly think im gonna go count 23. do you have any pets: yep, i got 9 cats at the moments and farm animals (too much to count soz) 24. do you want to change your name: yes, it’s planned,, dont really know the legal proccess yet but,, its planned 25. what did you do for your last birthday: ate cake with m mom and sis and the twins i think? then went back to studying lmao 26. what time did you wake up: 6:30 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: crying lmao 28. name something you can’t wait for: death 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: when she dropped me off at the train station last night 31. what are you listening to right now: nothing im watching elijah and christine 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: my cousin named thomas does that count? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: lol myself 34. most visited website: tumblr, yt and the uni webmail 35. hair colour: dyed black, natural brown 36. long or short hair: i have rly short hair like mark short? they used to be waist long lmao i cut everything at the same time 37. do you have a crush on someone: im ace/mostly aro 38. what do you like about yourself: my right hand nails hsbvsvjhfj (no but my eyes are rly pretty) 40. blood type: b- 41. nickname: my sis calls me ya (from mydead name) but @zhonqchenle calls me ez and thats it i have no friends lmao 42. relationship status: still ace/aro 43. zodiac: scorpio 44. pronouns: sigh genders,, but they/them (i dont mind he/his cause theres no neutral pronouns in french but,, the first im more comfortable with i guess) 45. favourite tv show: teen wolf is my shit ngl, sense 8 (still gotta see season 2), and bad guys (thats a drama guys check it out its a police dark serail killer one stuff shit i love it its so good) 46. tattoos: thats planned,, but im broke rn we’ll see later lmao 47. right or left handed: right handed 48. surgery: kidney stone removal (fucking drink guys that is NOT fun) and other stuff are planned for later 50. sport: i did artistic gymnastic for like 9 years, i danced for a while (i did modern, hip-hop, classical), i did natation i did a bit of aikido (im not sure thats how you write it thats a martial art),, but i dropped everything in the end (i do a bit of boxing tho) 51. vacation:  rn? lmao im in uni and we broke 52. pair of trainers:  addidas i think,, theyre from last year

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: nothing 54. drinking: also nothing 55. I’m about to: study lmao thats all i fucking do 56. waiting for: the sweet release of death 57. want: learn to compose (have the time time for it who am i kidding) 58. get married: nope (id marry a friend tho lmao) 59. career: dream job? producer. actual job? i don’t now, either psychiatrist, comportementalist, legist, sound engeneer (i cant speel this fucking word i give up) ?

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: both (kisses dont mean romantic love to me id kiss a friend on the lips i dont,, care) 61. lips or eyes: both bitch 62. shorter or taller: it doesn’t matter to me idc 63. older or younger: also dont care 64. nice arms or nice stomach: what does nice mean lmao,, i dont really care 65. hook up or relationship: sigh 66. troublemaker or hesitant: both leaning over the first

I realized this was dating question kdfbjkdb LMAO so,, this is bout anyone im comfortable with jbkjbsjvsd /rly close friends and shit/

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: dont think so 68. drank hard liquor: lmao yeah 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah but i found them 70. turned someone down: yeah 71. sex on the first date: i knew the dude but yeah 72. broken someone’s heart: yeah i guess 73. had your heart broken: yeah 74. been arrested: i dont get out my bed kjsbvss 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: thought i did,, ended up ruining myself

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: no lmao,, my ability to get through shit by really impulsive decisions?? yes 78. miracles: depends what you mean by that,, i guess it case by case 79. love at first sight: yall gotta stop putting your whole life and heart and trust in someone you know thats how you get murdered fucking stop 80. santa claus: stop what if kids see this 81. kiss on the first date: dont care none of my buisness,, it becomes if one of my  friends gets hurts or i witness someone get hurt 82. angels: why not gotta believe in something (im the angel i am ;))

OTHER

84. eye colour: lOL theyre really weird but really pretty ive never seen it anywhere else ?? theyre bleue on the outside and turn grenn/grey-ish, then brown/gold ish in the middl its fucking wild istg. i didnt know what to put for the passport lmao (also pics dot take all of the colors?? thats a lil weird too idk rly) 85. favourite movie: imitation game,, enders game,, i forgot one i dont remember?? im tired

tagging: @jenolees @zhonqchenle @safetypillow

[s-nnyd]

hey. all of the qs from the ask meme that apply to you. have fun

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

oh boy well with my dad most certainly not theres a lot situations where its been made obvious that im not the son he wanted but he’ll still use me as an example to show to my lil bro and also like theres a lot of cockiness too and with my mom i love her and i know she loves and supports me but a lot of that is because im her daughter  and id say id have a decent relationship with my mom and i do love her

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

lmao it was you

03: Do you regret anything?

oooooooooooooooooo boi man i been thinking and like ive thought about if ive regretted ever being friends with angie and id like to say that i dont cause shes done a lot and shes given a lot to me whether it be good or bad and ive grown a lot from it and i think that if i completely erased that then i wouldnt be able to work through the things i have and like in other aspects i regret not saying “i think youre cute” to movie girl and knott’s info boy like my goodness they were both so damn cute and i really shoulda said something

04: Are you insecure?

hell yeah i am

05: What is your relationship status?

single right now and i do want to eventually date someone and have that sort of closeness and that sort of relationship where i can feel at peace and rely on someone but i honest to goodness don’t think there’s anyone for me just yet and i don’t think im in a place really to be dating anyone cause i need to resolve things before i try to start something new

06: How do you want to die?

oh man duuude okay so when we read granny weatherall i legit like had a breakdown and i started panicking cause i started thinking about death all of a sudden and like there are situations where ive considered suicide and all but like there are also the times where it feels like its looming over me so much and like i get so so scared like im scared to walk down the pier at the beach at night because it so dark and the point where you look out onto the horizon and the horizon no longer exists and and its just a void and its so dark and like i think thats how i wanna die just im walking out on the pier at midnight and just im swallowed up because i think in the last moments i think i should just confront it

07: What did you last eat?

i had these hawaiian shortbread cookies that are so dang good like mmmmmmmmmmmm

08: Played any sports?

man i used to do tennis and swimming and i would love to go back to it

09: Do you bite your nails?

nah

10: When was your last physical fight?

like one where someone was genuinely hurt? like an hour ago and it was with the ground cause i got flung off my skateboard but for real i think my last physical fight was like kinder

11: Do you like someone?

skdjashjdkashd i doooo and i should noottttt and theres a lot of things i already know that its kinda like the crush is coming from the fact that there was a lot of support and general niceness and a whooollle lot of other reasons why i should not and im looking forward to the day when this goes away

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

my goodness i have and i died

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

hmm i do but i forgot who it was

14: Do you miss someone?

yeah i kinda miss my old self but for real i really miss my cousin lynnette like i havent seen her for like two years and i really needa hang out with her eventually

15: Have any pets?

dang i wish

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

at the moment? p distressed and very in my own head like i really need a break from a lot of other things but i also need a break from myself oh! ill show you my art project that were doing later when i finish it cause like we ended up havign to do an extreme emotion self portrait of how we feel at this point in time and like its hilarious cause ppl pass by it and theyre like “dude are you okay like just looking at that makes me feel bad”

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

dkjasdh i have not but i lowkey wanna just cause

18: Are you scared of spiders?

uH YEAh

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

i would i would and if it was to relive a memory definitely if it was to redo something over differently most definitely if it was to reexperience something wihtout changing something then uh no

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

hhhhhhh oh my goodness lowkey embarrassed to say it cause weve talked about places to snog a while ago and like the last time i did was like in the bushes in the sculpture garden

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

maybe working on the death of a salesman project maybe just getting some rest im really not sure im literally living day to day at this point

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

pfft man i do not wanna have any kids like at all

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i got two but theyve closed up already since i dont use em

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art, a bit of dabbling in math, and then also psych like i lvoed the fuck outta that class

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

oh yeah definitely and i think about her a lot i definitely miss meleana and sometimes ill go out and theres a souvenir shop and ill look at the best friend necklaces cause she always got one for us and like i have a box just full of all the halved best friend necklaces and i wonder a lot what would have happened had we still kept contact she was a big gateway to a lot of things in my life 

26: What are you craving right now?

mmm some damn relief but for real tho i want someone to run their hands through my hair and pet it and all like any of the daydreams i have are usually centered around my new haircut

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i? dont? think? so? theres like only one of two people i know of who like ever liked me and that was jolin (the other one is this sophomore from my art class last year)

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

lol no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

wish i could even get a date

30: What’s irritating you right now?

well i brought up the other ones in our chat and those are the main ones currently so

31: Does somebody love you?

yeah and i think in a lot of situations whether theyre friends or fam im being put on the weird pedestal

32: What is your favourite color?

OH OH OH ITS CERULEAN BLUE LIKE I KNOW ITS REAL SPECIFIC BUT LIKE THAT THAT BLUE IS SO GOOD LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN PUBLIC MY CHEST SWELLS UP AND MY LUNGS FEEL SO COLD AND THE AIR FEELS REALLY NICE AND LIKE MAN I LOVE THAT BLUE

33: Do you have trust issues?

lol yeah and in the process ive lied a lot and ive gotten so good at lying that sometimes i forget i am lying and the lines between whats truth or not get all blurry (i legit did not mean for that to come off as tumblr-esque as it did)

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

it was me just kinda floating in random space and then i was in a white room with no walls no doors no windows and i just walked around in this open blank space

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hhhh mrs quiggle

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

sometimes i think i do

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

haH hAH HAH haaa.......no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

uh i believe 13 oh wait no scratch that i was like 8

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i needed to get the laundry so...

51: Favourite food?

prolly ramen oh or loco moco cause its so good

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

mmm i think id say i do

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

i was working on my entry for the lawyer firm art contest

54: Is cheating ever okay?

hell no

55: Are you mean?

i think so cruel even just cause i know so much and i think people who know and understand and think so much are in general dangerous cause they calculate their actions and sometimes that scares me cause i cant tell if im doing it on purpose or not but just in general yeah im mean like too many shits are just not given

56: How many people have you fist fought?

like? uh? i think maybe two and both times were when i was like 8 or 9

57: Do you believe in true love?

mmm i do i do and i think a lot of that true love stems from a relationship based on communication, honesty, trust, and a really good friendship as a foundation

58: Favourite weather?

oooOOOOOO okay so do you remember that one time it was raining hard as fuck like sophomore year like i know its real vague but it was legit pouring and like it was actually so bad that everyone adn i mean everyone went into the library to get some form of shelter and there were people who were soaked to the bone and peoples umbrellas were getting broken cause it was so cold rainy and windy like that that kinda weather is my fave

59: Do you like the snow?

uh i think i do?

60: Do you wanna get married?

hell yeah

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

mmmm i get a lil weird on that but i think some of my favorite ones are like being called “love” like “whats going on love” or “you look good today love” like mmm i eat that shit up

62: What makes you happy?

man legend of zelda is makign me so damn happy rn like it legit means so damn much to me adn like theres so much i lvoe about it and i just lvoe talking about it and anything about it in general and like also skateboarding has been making me real happy lately like ive never loved getting hurt more and like that sounds really bad and like my left knee’s nerves are totally shot cause i fell straight on it and messed it up cause i was skating but like theres just soemthing about feeling more within my own body because im gettin some form of physical activity adn im getting hurt adn its like its a reality in its own way and like i really love it and i super love when i get to cruise like it feels so damn esp with my hair now and also what makes me happy is the ppl i find cute every now and then like its genuinely such a nice experience and oh oh i just wanted to talk about it jsut cause but like whenever i get a crush i get real excited and real happy cause like i love getting them gifts and seeing the surprise and the happiness on their faces cause its like oh you thought of me and oh its somehting i really love and like it makes them happy for that glimpse of a moment and like i love talking to them and like when they tell me about things they like or their passionate about its so nice to hear cause its like yes yes yes i support you and i love you i love seeing you happy and like just seeing your brightens my day and like even if i do confess and i do get rejected ive been mroe than lucky cause its like the people i have confessed to have been so gentle with the rejection and so kind with it and its like oh no!! like yes im sad that we couldnt be more but like thank you!!! thank you so much for letting me love you adn letting me give you so much thank you for brightening my days up and lettign me see your smiles and hear your laughs like thank you so much im so glad i could crush on you and like thats another thing that makes me happy and like theres probably a lot more that i could talk about but i think ill leave at that for now

63: Would you change your name?

i been actually thinking about it for a while adn in the times that i have considered it i usually use a game with the customizable name to try it out and like at some point i used Elle and then i tried Lynn and like i dunno im really not too sure and maybe if other names come in the future ill test those out cause truly it doesnt feel like my name is my own

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

mm yeah id think so cause theres stuff we were supposed to talk about that we didnt and uhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

say “thanks im really flattered but i really dont think im in a place right now where i should get into a relationship”

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

lmao no

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

uhh the guy at the receptionist desk when i went in to submit my entry for the art contest

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

lol if what we talked about wasnt deep and it wasnt you then itd be mrs quiggle

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

fuck yeah

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i dont think so like i wouldnt even die for myself