#im going insane goodnight

[midzindagicrisis]

battinson in my head rent fucking free I cannot.

[jacks347]

(Is this stupid enough to be considered a crack fic?? Idk, we're going with it)

To say Hipswitch was surprised to see a woman sitting in his base next to Albus would be an overstatement.

Now, to say he was surprised to see said woman be so...dressed while sipping a cup of tea, that was accurate.

He'd never seen the demon bring back anyone who wore so many layers. Hell, now that he was really thinking about it, he hadn't really seen Albus bring back anyone at all. From the headscarf covering her hair to the skirt that brushed at her ankles and all the fabric and layerage of jewelry in-between, Hipswitch was getting warm just watching her.

The woman turned, smiling politely at him. She was rather pretty, warm brown skin with dark green eyes. Not necessarily someone he'd consider Albus’s type but everyone had their exceptions. "Hello there. You must be Hipswitch." Her voice was quiet and flowed like honey. She reminded Hipswitch of the ladies of the church in town, always speaking softly with inviting smiles. Definitely not Albus’s usual type. What, had he really gotten that bored?

"That I am. And who might you be?" Hipswitch took a seat across from the odd duo, eyes darting between the two in bewilderment. Albus huffed out a laugh, wrapping an arm around the woman's shoulders. "This is Faith. She a, ah, friend of mine." The woman, Faith, rolled her eyes with a small chuckle. "Mm, sure, friend. Let's go with that." She hummed as she took a sip of her tea.

Hipswitch nodded slowly, still going back and forth between them. It was very strange but he couldn't say he didn't appreciate the change. Hell, he welcomed it. Faith was polite, she was far more dressed than he expected, and she seemed very sweet. It almost brought a tear to Hipswitch's eye. "Well it's very nice to meet you. I've gotta say Albus, she's certainly a might better for you than the others from the whore house."

There was an audible beat of silence before it was broken by both a roar of laughter from Albus and a rather impressive spit take from Faith who was now coughing like mad as she tried to regain her composure while Albus was nearly doubled over in hysterics. Hipswitch was left rather confused, not exactly understanding why what he said had caused such a visceral reaction. "Did I say something wrong?"

The statement only made Albus laugh harder as Faith finally recovered, her cheeks flaming red and her face a heavy mask of embarrassment before kicking Albus in the shin. "Stop laughing! I've never been so mortified in all my life." She dropped her face into her hands, shaking her head before pulling herself back up. "How do I put this lightly..." Faith mumbled as Albus’s laughter finally petered off. "Oh Switchy, Faith is a sister paladin." He corrected, making Hipswitch raise an eyebrow in confusion. "A what?"

"A nun." Came a surprised voice, making Hipswitch jump as he turned to find the source of it. "Hey Doc, how long have you been standing there? Almost gave me a heart attack. And how do you know that?" The doctor leaned against the doorframe, staring at Hipswitch with a wide-eyed expression between shock and horror. "When Albus came on I decided to do some research on the medical practices of New Tennessee. Maybe there would be something there to help better treat Albus if I needed to. And well, most of the information was from or about the sister paladins. They're the main form of healthcare, they're essentially priestesses who learn medicine to take of the knight paladins. But they're known to treat anyone who comes to their temples." The realization slowly dawned on Hipswitch, his eyes widening as it did. No wonder she reminded him so much of the women of the church, she was one of them! Oh he fucked up. He fucked up bad.

"So, in case you missed it in that grand fucking speech, you just called a nun a hooker directly to her face." Albus clarified, though he really didn't need to. Faith sighed, the initial embarrassment fading into a kind of indignant rage. "Can I slap him?" Albus snorted a laugh, flashing a sly grin at Hipswitch. "Oo, watch out there Switchy. She's got a mean backhand and I'm almost willing to let her do it. You kind of deserve it." Hipswitch wished he could disappear. "I-I am so sorry ma'am! I would never think of implying you would be that kind of woman, I just assumed-" He spluttered an embarrassed apology, making Albus burst into another round of hysterical laughter as Faith cut him off with a shake of her head. "Don't apologize, I know you didn't mean it. You worked with what you knew, I can't blame you for that. Though I do still want to slap you. And you do kind of deserve it."

Faith got to her feet stiffly, fixing the layers of her outfit and narrowing her eyes at a still laughing Albus. "I think I've seen enough of Maya for one day. I've got to pick Kerano up from school." She leaned down to poke a finger into the warrior's chest. "Don't make me come back out here to check up on you. Had me worried sick for nothing." Albus’s laughter faded as he lightly smacked her hand away. "Gods, yes, I know. I won't, I promise." She nodded with a satisfied huff before turning to the doctor. "I'm glad I could help with your research, you know how to reach me if you have any more questions." "Of course! Thank you again, Sister. It's been very insightful having you here. I should go continue to look over those notes." He turned and headed back into his office as Faith turned to Hipswitch. "And you." Hipswitch gulped, expecting the worst. Maybe that slap Albus had warned him about. "Maybe actually talk to someone before assuming they're some kind of common hooker. I take my faith very seriously and even if I didn't, I'd be far outside of his price range." She smiled warmly before turning on her heel and heading for the door. "See you again boys!"

Albus’s head dropped back onto the couch with a snort. "Outside my price range, she's crazy." He muttered. Hipswitch quietly got up and moved closer to punch Albus in the chest, making the demon wheeze out a breath as his head snapped up to glare at him. "Fucking hell, what was that for?" "For not warning me! I made a damn fool of myself in front of a nun because of you!" "Well, she's not really a nun, she's a priestess." "Regardless! She's a woman of faith and I disrespected her in the worst way possible!" Albus waved his concerns off. "Ah don't sweat it. Give it a week, she'll be laughing over it. It was damn funny." "You're actually the worst, you know that?" "Oh I am well aware Switchy. You're not the first to notice." Hipswitch could only roll his eyes. Why did he have to care about this idiot so much? "Okay but tell me one thing." "Whatcha got Switchy?" "Have you actually slept with her?" "Would you be jealous if I said yes?" "Albus..." Albus chuckled lowly, shaking his head. "Sorry Switchy, this is one time I don't kiss and tell. That's up to you to figure out." He confessed with a shrug. "Out of all the escapades you've rambled on about, this is the one you keep quiet about?" "Faith is different, okay? She...she deserves to not have her story told. So I won't." He defended. Hipswitch sighed in defeat, stepping back. "I'll never understand how your head works." "Good, I don't either. So looks like we'll both be confused."

(...idfk how to end this so this is what you get. Yes I made this entire thing because there is a non-zero chance that Hipswitch would assume Faith is a hooker the first time he met her and that was so damn funny to me)

[colourfulmes]

Happy Halloween :)

[bisexualcherdegre]

D:BH Rarepairsweek 7 | @dbhrarepairs

Day 4 - Kara/Luther

[junesprince]

just take this

[skyblueartt]

Thinkin about how I’ve seen a lot of super interesting interpretations of Henry being religious or at least believing in God (makes sense— he was raised in Utah after all, lmao). I really dig this, maybe it’s because I was raised in a regions environment and hashtag religious trauma!!! But also- do we think if he did believe in God, he stopped doing so after Charlie’s death, the children that went missing at HIS restaurant, aaaaaaaaand finally figuring out that his best friend that he once trusted and cared for uh. Was responsible for ruining his life and taking so many others??

Basically in my head he went from 🙏 to

[cashmere-caveman]

Joy Harjo, Perhaps the World Ends Here | House of the Dragon 1.02 The Rogue Prince | Hanif Abdurraqib, On Hunger | House of the Dragon 1.03 Second of His Name | Hanif Abdurraqib, Welcome To Heartbreak | Chris Abani, Poet of an Ordinary Heartbreak | House of the Dragon 1.01 The Heirs of the Dragon | House of the Dragon 1.08 The Lord of the Tides | Yaedi Ignatow, We Were Love

image descriptions in Alt

[thekidsarentalright]

literally why are u so in love .

[balmungkriemhild]

my idea for a new clock studios ride. please signal boost this so that this ride can be at clock studios.

[retros-artandstuff]

vriska + a transmasc dave doodle

[snazum]

Little ster edit I made… Cause there needs to be more in the world :>

special thanks to like the 5-10 people on this website who upload ster clips. This is dedicated to y’all <3

Audio: noir.audioss on tiktok

Song: Like Me - Chase Icon

[puppystarz]

Sleepy sex... save me sleepy sex </3

[somberine]

i like only these 2 i think

[clingyduofan]

any s4 subz enjoyers out there. I cannot stop thinking about him

[faunandfloraas]

do you have an ult bias, ult biaswrecker, and/or ult "lives rent free in your head"? 🐨

I identify as bias fluid. Ignore all my posts and behaviours ☝️

[denfucker]

dennis... he is so interesting... silly, even...

to be worshipped is one thing. to be worshipped is a given. who wouldn't worship him? he leaves and the gang changes because who are they without him? he comes back and the gang chooses him because why wouldn't they? and the d.e.n.n.i.s system and being a golden god and demonstrate value, so they only see what you present and not what you are. sex is what you are. you are a god. see past the golden god and there's nothing there. engage physically. that's it, that's you. engage physically and they won't ask too many questions. nurture dependence, they want you. they worship you. they need you. neglect emotionally, once they start to get too close and worship and obsession tips into what you think is love. inspire hope, so they'll leave and come back again, because you decide what goes and what doesn't. and nothing goes. you are golden and perfect. they will never leave.

then. separate entirely. you leave first. they will cling onto you and kneel at your altar and miss the perfect version of you, and you will only be known as the golden god and you will only be remembered for sex because that is what you are.

and that's all you need. you need worship, you need obsession. you don't need to be loved, or known, because what does that bring you? to be known is to see past the facade. to be known means presenting every bit of yourself, every flaw and imperfection that you try to scrub and dye and push away before it becomes too obvious. and what do you do, when someone knows you, and they don't like what they see?

what then?