#im going crazy over the jeffrey one

[rickswh0r3]

ARMS AND HANDS

[mayhemlovesenvy]

Testing scenes 🕯💜🤍 (and also me yapping (wayyy too much) under the cut) (you've been warned)

Fixing the arc camp has proven to be harder than I thought,,, it's really damn hard to write 5 parallel stories at the same time in comic(?) Format, bc in the series it's a bit of each group per chapter (except the funtimes part but fuck them)

My idea is to just. Finish each group story and tie them up in the end. Shape of you time and they sing so bad cami dies. But since I want to give them more to do I confuse myself,,,, and also owynn didn't exist so I have to stick him somewhere, and also eak and ttrap do smth else, and also Margo is a whole thing

And Im going crazy BUT IM ENJOYING THE CRAZY. It's like suffering with math but instead of numbers it's just text and I do it for fun bc crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me into a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. The rats drove me crazy.

So. What are you seeing in the drawings?? Those orange/red blobs are fire thingies, and the bighead kids are around them :3

- bonnie, freddy, ann, aiden (who would be looking away from the fire lol)

- Meg, joy, bon and spring (but they're not by the fire)

- The nightmares (+ toddy)

' And then probably the funtimes + pup and mai

Where golden? Well with his dad + other rich parents + jeffrey and he's looking sadly bc damn. He wants to be there :( or maybe be just really likes looking at fire and wants to be closer who knows

is jeffrey who lets her go with her friendos !!!¡! Hoorrray jeffrey. Also gives him the lighter

Then golden fucking dies

And jeffrey is on a date with vincent :)) bc he can and he wants and I want them to, too

And . And this is where i go crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once

Bc yes this is about golden BUT ALSO it IS jeffrey's big moment as fucking well. The fire both from the lighter and the candle representing literally how he's warming up to the idea of forming actual, meaningful relationships with people. He WORRIES so he starts to CARE which means he starts to DO .

HE STOPS BEING A BITCHHHH AND WE LOVE THAT FOR HIM AND IIIII AMMMM GOING CRAZY. oh also Golden in that time decides to escape once they get back home but that will be a s2 problem that def wont develop Golden's father and jeffrey a bit more and realize how fucked up they actually are (maybe). And def wont end with golden left as homeless and pathetic for the joke I PROMISE I DOOOOOOOO

Okay. So. Um. The fire represents the want to have relationships (any type). Golden longs for fire (a family) Jeffrey lights it for him (show that maybe he can give him one);

but Jeffrey is the one asking for a deeper relationship to Vincent represented throught a candle (and asking for/having a date), or smth like that. Needs more work. Maybe. What matters is that Jeffrey wants more *with* vin (not of, with) while vincent thinks he overstepped wayyy to much and is in this weird attempt to gain control over it by sabotaging himself. The fire IS THERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM BUT IT WILL DIE IF HE WAITS TOO LONG OR IF HE BLOWS IT .. AAAAAGHHHHHHHHH. The chance is there and he has to take it. And yes Golden takes the lighter aka golden acepts the chance while vin... lets it drip..lets the wax burn him, but he will run out of time

[daughteroftheman]

man youre actually delulu tf

"i was just to entertain him" bitch are you fucking crazy? he actually got over his fucking fears to be with you and youre gonna dumb down all his efforts into him just being some asshole who wanted something to do ??? are you fucking kidding me?? dumbass bitches when the guy who says hes a bad boyfriend isnt just overly insecure he actually has problems that need talking through in a non-aggressive way sometimes !! holy shit :OO like omfg if youre still gonna be obsessed with my boyfriend at least do the mf justice you dumb bitch. fucking "we did that too" tf you mean?? match pfps?? yeah dumbfuck a lot of couples do that you werent special ... like dude. werent you the same bitch who caused him to talk to me less bc your ass was so jealous?? honey this shit isnt bc hes my bf weve always been doing this youre just delusional and like to pretend like you know shit bc you cant handle that youre genuinely a fucking idiot. esp w all the dumbass shit youve said to jeffrey and then to go around and go through some manic episode of hating but loving my bf?? bro get a fucking grip. i know im not a perfect partner but at least im self aware and not such a pussy i wont even admit it. "its the last conversation for closure" ass bitch PLEASE if youre not gonna talk to him again THEN STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM ON FUCKING TUMBLR.COM knowing damn well he can fucking see he just doesnt care enough about you anymore to check bc hes actually moved on. probably because he wasnt the one missing out on a great partner, you were. like honestly bro wtf did you expect from the guy who you blow up on all the time knowing damn well he hates conflict ?? like wtf type of asshole are you ?? claiming he was your best friend and you loved him so much then whyd you treat him like such fucking shit. youre not the fucking victim youre a fucking bitch.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

secrets* (1/2) izzy stradlin x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

you grew up with duff so the two of you are super close. he knows you have a band and offered for them to open for gnr. the things is though that you and izzy have been getting closer the longer tour has gone on. what everyone doesnt know is that the two of you have been doing more than just talking behind closed doors.

* - friends with benefits lol

Song: why are you here by machine gun kelly

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse

+++++++++

"Hey, aren't you with that one band...?"

I turned around to see izzy walking to me, a wide grin on his face. He snapped a few times, thinking.

"Oh, ya know, the one opening for guns n roses?"

He asked, holding his guitar low. I laughed a little bit at his joke.

"I think so, wait, let me check."

I said looking down at my crew pass at the end of my lanyard.

"Ope, yep, yes I am. That's me."

I joked back and he smiled widely at me.

"It's nice to see you again y/n, im glad duff invited you and the guys for this run."

He said, trying to make small talk.

"It's nice to be back again and so am i, the guys are all thrilled to be here."

I said winking at him.

"would you happen to have some spare time before we go on?"

He asked slowly, hopeful. I smirked at him.

"Are you asking for something specific Mr stradlin?"

He sent me a knowing look. I knew exactly what he wanted. It's the same thing he wanted the last few times Id been around the band. we hadnt exactly established much but it was fun to mess around when we could, and now that i was back officially in LA i knew id be spending more time around gnr. i knew id be spending more time around izzy...

"Well no, of course not, seeing as we are just two friends that like to have some privacy away from people every once in a while."

He said, looking around at the few Roadies walking past us. I laughed a little bit at how shy he was about it. How someone could be so forward yet so disconnected had me for a loop.

"What do you say I go help you tune your guitar? It looks like it could use it."

I suggested, pointing behind me with my thumb up. He cracked a smile and nodded.

"I think you're right. I'd appreciate the help. Like a lot."

He said, sending me a more serious look, brow raised.

"What are we waiting for then?"

I said, turning and walking with him at my side.

"So, how have you been? I feel like I only see you at meal time and even then we don't get to talk much."

I blushed a little that he would ask. We'd been kind of casual since the tour began but didn't do like dates and stuff so it was nice being able to just talk.

"I've been good, just busy. And you?"

I asked, looking over at him as people walked around us, calling my boys for show time. That meant we had about thirty minutes of free time.

"I've been good, kinda missing you if I'm being honest."

He said a little bashfully as I held the dressing room door open. It was for the band I worked for and I figured they wouldn't need it till after their set.

"It's nice that you think of me."

I said softly, watching him take his guitar off his shoulder and setting it on the stand by the door. He looked back at me and sent me a crooked smile.

"Is that a crime?"

I laughed a bit, walking slowly to the vanity on the opposite side of the room.

"Well no, of course not, but what do you think of me? Am I still just a friend?"

He stepped closer, holding his hands at my sides and trapping me against the wooden table.

"Would you like to be more?"

He said lowly. I couldn't quite tell if he was serious or if he just wanted to fuck.

"More than this?"

I asked before leaning forward and catching his lips in mine. He kissed me back passionately, his one hand moving to cup the side of my face. He hummed against me before pulling away.

"Something like that."

He said a little breathless.

"I think I could manage that."

I said softly. I still wasn't exactly sure if he meant it or not. He kissed me again, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me onto the table. I gasped at the sudden movement, looking at him like he was crazy. He smirked at me before kissing my jaw.

"You're cute."

He said, running his hands slowly up my thighs, pushing my skirt up.

"Thanks, I try."

I said nonchalantly, leaning into him as he kissed across my neck, my hands Tracing lightly up his arms.

"Oh I know you do baby."

He said, working his way up my legs, pulling me to the edge of the table. His lips connected with mine again and I moaned into his mouth as he pushed his hips against me.

"Izzy."

I sighed out as he began rubbing his thumb over my panties.

"Tell me you want me."

He said against my neck, slowly moving down to kiss along my collar bone.

"God I want you so bad."

I said, tangling my fingers in his soft hair, my other hand trailing down his exposed chest. He pushed his thumb against my clit, his other hand moving to undo his pants.

"How much time do we have?"

He said pulling away to get his pants down enough. He looked up at me for a second and I pulled him in for a short kiss.

"Twenty minutes."

I said and he smirked at me.

"We've done it in less."

He said a little cocky. I laughed a little bit, looking down and watching him stroke himself gently.

"You ready?"

He asked, looking up at me. I bit my lip and nodded, readjusting myself and pulling my panties to the side.

"More than ready."

I said in a low voice. He caught my lips in his as he pushed into me and I gasped. He instantly shoved his tongue in my mouth and began exploring as he pushed in and out of me. I pulled his hair tight in my fingers, dropping my other hand to the table below me to steady myself. he groaned against me and pushed into me harder making me drop my head back against the mirror. He took that as an invitation to explore my neck some more, pounding into me as he did so.

"Fuck, Jeff."

I moaned out, hearing him pant against my ear.

"Say it again."

He demanded, moving to circle my clit again.

"Jeffrey!"

I whined out and he grunted, shoving his face against my shoulder and resting it there.

"Fuck y/n."

He said through heavy breaths as he kept moving. Then he bottomed out and I wanted to scream.

"Oh my God!"

I said, making him slap his hand over my mouth. He hit something in me that drove me crazy.

"Keep quiet baby girl."

He said coolly against my ear. I gripped the table tightly as I clenched around him, closing my eyes shut as I felt my legs quiver against him. He pushed into me a few more times before pausing and moaning. I felt him twitch inside of me as he dropped his forehead to my shoulder again, the hand that was at my mouth falling gently to my other shoulder. We both breathed heavily for a minute, trying to catch up with ourselves. When he looked back up at me he kissed me roughly and pulled out of me, shoving himself back in his pants and tucking his shirt back in.

"Thanks for that."

He said, reaching into his back pocket for his cigarettes. I pulled the pack of matches out of his front pocket and lit one, holding it out to him.

"Don't mention it."

I said, watching him take a drag. God he was so hot, all flustered and disheveled. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me, taking his cigarette and putting it between my lips.

"I Thought you hated smoking."

He said lowly. I raised a brow and took a drag, inhaling and holding my breath. Then I pulled him closer and kissed him like my life depended on it, letting the smoke pour into his mouth and out both our noses. When he pulled away he looked down at me and smirked.

"Hot."

Was all he said, taking the cigarette from me and putting it back in his mouth. I watched him as he looked in the mirror behind me, trying to fix himself. I placed my hands on the edge of the table and pushed off, falling to my knees as soon as my feet hit the floor. Izzy looked at me so worried as I knelt before him laughing. He knelt down with me.

"Oh my God are you okay?"

He asked but I kept laughing, nodding yes.

"Are you sure?"

He asked, gently touching my arm.

"Yeah iz, but maybe we should take it easy next time. Holy shit."

He laughed and helped me stand right this time. My legs where still Shakey though.

"Guess I really know how to give it to ya."

He said winking at me and I nudged him with my elbow.

"It may feel nice but I still need to walk."

I joked and he shrugged.

"You sure about that?"

He said, moving and picking me up bridal style. I yelped at the sudden movement and held into him tightly.

"Izzy put me down!"

I called as he carried me over to the small couch, plopping me down onto it.

"Look, now you can take it easy."

He said, crawling up on top of me. I laughed a little bit and shook my head at him.

"You are crazy."

I pointed out and he smiled down at me before kissing me gently.

"Only for you babe."

[xingjieisbaby]

Vacation Ch 7

Miu woke up the next morning with a smile. She gazed up at Xiao Gui who was still asleep. Miu placed a soft kiss on his lips, waking him.

“Baby…” he groaned huskily. Miu smiled softly at him.

“Morning~” she whispered. Xiao Gui smiled at her sleepily. He placed a light kiss on her lips, making her blush.

“What time is it?” He asked.

“About 7am. Go back to sleep Kaikai.” She said. Xiao Gui looked at her.

“You’re not going to?” He asked. Miu shook her head.

“I’m going to do a little bit of yoga before taking a shower. My body has been really sore due to preparations for our comeback.” Miu said. Xiao Gui looked at her with a soft gaze.

“Baby, how about you do yoga a bit later? I wanna get a workout in tonight too. The guys probably wanna join me.” Xiao Gui said. Miu pouted.

“I have a performance tonight.” Miu said. Xiao Gui smiled at her cuteness.

“I’ll give you a massage after your performance. I don’t want you overworking yourself baby.” He said. Miu nodded before sitting up.

“Where are you going?” He whined at the loss of her warmth. Miu smiled at him.

“I’m going to take a shower and then I’m going to make breakfast for you guys.” Miu said as she walked toward his closet where a portion of it was filled with her clothes. Xiao Gui looked at her with a soft smile. He loved seeing her in his clothes.

“Baby, wear one of my sweaters and a pair of leggings.” He suggested. Miu nodded and opted for a burgundy hoodie and black leggings. She then went into the bathroom that was inside his room and began to start her morning. Xiao Gui took a look at his phone and decided to get started on his own morning. He choose his other burgundy hoodie and a pair of adidas joggers before going into the bathroom that was in the hallway.

The boys woke up the smell of waffles and fresh fruit. Miu had opted for a western style breakfast since there wasn’t much to work with in the fridge. Xiao Gui helped her prepare the waffle mix and wash the fruit. The boys came out toward the kitchen after doing their morning routines. ZhengTing and Wenjun halted in their tracks when they saw Xiao Gui back hug Miu who was cutting up fruit. Justin and Yanlei looked at each other. Not knowing if they should come out or not. Luckily for them, Xingjie and Yanjun walked down the stairs.

“Oh? It’s our little Xiao Xiao couple.” Yanjun teased. The two looked at him with smiles.

“Hey Xiao Mei.” Xingjie greeted. Miu smiled at him. The boys slowly walked out.

“Hello.” They greeted the girl shyly. Miu smiled at them.

“Hi.” She said with a bright smile.

“Get your own waffles and bacon.” Xiao Gui said as he set a big plate of freshly made waffles on the table. Next to the plate was a plate of bacon. The boys looked at Miu and smiled thankfully.

“Miu, just dump Gui now. Marry me.” Yanjun said as he ate. Xiao Gui looked at him with a glare.

“Go away.” He said, making the boys laugh.

“If only you can confess to Jennie Jiejie like that.” Miu said. Yanjun blushed while Xingjie and Xiao Gui bursted into fits of laughter.

“But I love you~” he teased Xiao Gui who smirked back at him.

“Yes. Say it like that. But to Jennie Jiejie.” Miu said. Yanjun pouted.

“Oh yeah, Miu said she has a performance tonight. Pretty sure the other Guardian members will be there.” Xiao Gui said. As if he had cued it, Miu’s phone started to ring.

“Jiejie~” The girl greeted her sister.

“Hey. We’re gonna have the performance at around 9pm. We have two photoshoots before that. One for the new album and then one based on different concepts. Show in around two hours?” Aria said.

“Okay~” Miu said cheerfully.

“Tell Linkai that the boss wants him to be there for the photoshoot. He says he wants Linkai to be your partner for the photoshoot since you guys are dating. It’s gonna be a cute, couple theme for you two.” Aria said. Miu looked at Xiao Gui.

“Okay. Are you partnered with Jennie Jiejie?” Miu asked.

“Yep, we have a sexy theme. Our unnie line has a fresh, girl next door theme.” Aria said.

“Okay. By the way, Xingjie gege and Yanjun gege are here along with the Fantasy Restaurant cast.” Miu informed.

“Oh. Put me on speaker.” Aria said.

“Done.” Miu said. Aria smirked.

“Lin Yanjun, grow some balls and confess already. Stop being a beta.” Aria said. Yanjun blushed while Xiao Gui and Xingjie laughed.

“Alright I’m out. Deuces.” Aria said before hanging up. Xingjie quietly pulled out his phone and started to text his girlfriend.

“Kaikai~” Miu said as Xiao Gui kissed her cheek.

“Yeah?” He said.

“Boss wants you at the photoshoot later… you’re gonna be my partner… he wants couple pictures.” Miu said shyly. Xiao Gui smiled. He loved the idea of the world knowing that she was his.

“Okay. Can’t wait.” Xiao Gui said as he back hugged her. Xingjie and Yanjun looked at each other. Yanjun wanted to call Jennie his while Xingjie had to find a right time to let the boss know that he was ready. He debuted already. It was time for him to tell the world about him and Aria. The Fantasy restaurant boys looked at each other.

“Um… Miu, can we come and watch your photoshoot?” Jeffrey asked. Miu nodded.

“Of course. But aren’t you guys filming today?” Miu asked. Xiao Gui shook his head.

“They’re giving us a day just to rest.” Xingjie said.

“Really? Hmm, Xingjie gege, you have to come to our shoot then!” Miu said. Xingjie nodded with a laugh.

“Of course.” He said with a smile.

The boys along with Miu were outside of the photoshoot site. Xiao Gui held Miu’s hand as they walked into the building.

“Yah Song Miu!” A girl called out. Miu looked up with a smile.

“Rita Unnie!” Miu said excitedly. It was Rita of the Guardians.

“Ready for your shoot? Ari and Jennie are getting ready for theirs right now. Dude your sister is a bagel girl. Like my lord.” Rita said. Miu looked at her confused.

“Bagel girl?” Miu asked.

“Like her face itself is innocent but like… her body is something else.” Rita said. Miu laughed.

“That’s true. Where are they?” Miu asked.

“C’mon.” Alice said, leading them toward the photoshoot room. Jennie and Aria were getting briefed on the details. Miu ran up to her members.

“Miu~” Mira said with a smile. Aria patted her sister’s head. Jennie smirked when she saw Xiao Gui.

“Ready?” The director asked Jennie and Aria. The two girls nodded.

“Okay can I get Aria first?” The photographer asked. Aria walked over and began to pose. The boys watched in awe. She was in a black leather jacket and black skinny jeans that was ripped. Under her jacket was a cropped white tube top. It showed off her abs along with the right amount of cleavage. Jennie was in a white bodycon dress with pink detailing. Over her dress was a black leather jacket. The two girls were posing next to a black convertible.

“Next outfits please.” The director said. Aria changed into a white cropped tank top along with light blue ripped skinny jeans. Jennie changed into a white bodysuit and light blue booty shorts. This time the girls were posing with a window. Jennie sat on the window sill while Aria stood next to her, back against the wall.

The girls soon changed into more daring outfits. Jennie sported a white night romper that hugged in all the right spots. It was made of lace, showing off her amazing figure. Aria sported a strappy lacy black bra along with matching boyshorts. She wore an unbuttoned, white button up shirt over it. The girls were on a bed, next to each other.

Xingjie met eyes with his girlfriend as she posed. He smirked at her, making her bite her lip at the camera. Yanjun couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Jennie was sexy. He always knew she was, but to see her like this made him go crazy.

The girls ended their portion of the photoshoot steadily.

“Damn our middle line has some nice ass bodies. Like look at Ari, nice ass tits. Jennie got a perfect ass.” Mira teased the two girls.

“You two should be the ones doing the sexy concept. You guys are the older ones. How the hell did it turn into me and Ari?” Jennie said.

“Because Ari’s image is already sexy. And you fit the sexy concept quite well.” Rita said as she touched up her makeup.

“I guess.” Jennie said with a smirk before walking toward the door. It was then that she noticed the boys.

“Oh hi.” She said with a bow. The boys were shy as she was exposed. Jennie looked toward Yanjun with a smirk.

“Hey Junnie~” She said, giving him a hug. Yanjun gulped. He froze upon her touch, making her smirk grow.

“Hey Jennie…” He said. Jennie frowned due to his lack of enthusiasm.

“What’s wrong?” Jennie asked. Yanjun shook his head.

“Nothing… you’re just gorgeous.” He said. Jennie looked at him, skeptical. She said nothing though.

Aria walked over with a smirk. Xingjie welcomes her with open arms. The girl went into her boyfriend’s embrace.

“Too revealing baby.” He whispered, kissing her temple. Aria sighed in content.

“I know. But it’s for a concept. Jennie and I got put into a sexy concept.” Aria said. Xingjie pouted, making the girl laugh. His pout soon turned into a soft smile. He had missed her.

“Huba ge, I’m gonna steal Ari real quick. We need to change into our clothes for the album.” Jennie said. Xingjie released Aria. The two girls quickly walked toward their dressing room.

IM BACK AFTER A MILLION YEARS. HELLO!

[sweetlifetownsville]

The Massive Difference Between 'Buy Local' And 'Local Buy' ... How Mayor Mullet Has Played The Townsville Business Community For Mugs.

Jenny Hill has traded on a trick of language to fool Townsville into thinking she is a champion for local workers and business, when the exact opposite is the case. It all revolves around the Local Government Association of Queenslands business arm called Local Buy and it is a deliberate play on words to line the coffers of the LGAQ. As The Pie reports, this one looks murky indeed. Also, the Townsville Bulletin goes beyond beyond parody, with one of their biggest side-splitting bungles yet and overall, it was a week you couldnt make up unless of course, youre the Bulletin. And is rebel councillor Paul The Angry Ant Jacob shaping up to take on The Mullet well, he may well have delusions of popularity and adequacy for a tilt in 2020 but there will be one powerful group that will try to block him. Also, the funniest comment on a news story this week comes from the most unlikely place and by popular demand, our regular pictorial gallery from Trumpistan. But first The shared thought-fart of the week belongs to One Notions P Hanson and the Katteronics R Katter. No sooner had Hanson quavered tremulously over the radio that people on the dole should be put to work catching cane toads at ten cents a pop, than Katter jumped on this creaky bandwagon and and upped the ante.

Bob Katter (right). Columnist James Jeffrey once wrote the Bob uses words like a cliff in Norway uses lemmings, and during the week, the member for Kennedy obliged with proof when he gurgled, giggled, sneered and croaked out his proposal that kids should catch the toads for 40 cents a time and be armed with air rifles to get the job done. It all makes one think that both Hanson and Katter are still smarting from their latest rejection letters from The Mensa Society, but the ever-practical Bentley thinks no matter how the creatures are caught, there might be a bit of a flaw in the idea.

Gosh, kids could be recruited under the banner of The Toady Army oh, hang on, maybe not, Townsville City councillors might sue for copyright. Is The LGAQs Nice Little Earner LOCAL BUY Costing Townsville A Motza? Some well credentialed business folks around town at increasingly frustrated with the little-understood Queensland Local Government Associations business arm Buy Local. And on the face of what two well-placed identities have told The Pie, the whole set-up looks ripe for rorts of all sorts, even progressing to very serious corruption unless proper transparency is in place. First this landed in the Nests inbox from a respected and successful Townsville businessman. Just wanted to highlighta program that shows that Mayor Mullet cannot only stuff Townsville as Mayor, she is also doing it as a Director of LGAQ against local businesses who payrent/rates and employ people.Townsville City Council is among those Queensland Local Councils using LGAQ Local Buy to avoid going to tender locally, allowing them toappoint out of town contractors with the LGAQ taking a cut (understood to be 10% of any contract, which of course is just added on to what the cost would otherwise be). Townsville businesses who were previously and successfully supplying services to Council have lost out under this scheme with many being forced to the business and had to put off staff. Any complaints about the dire situation made to Richard The Screaming Midget Beckett (no longer with the council met with threats that they would be locked out of any Council tenders in the future all under the culture from the Impailer and Mayor Mullet . To be an approved Local buy supplier you have to apply and I think pay an amount to be approved and there is a period of 5 years in which other similar other local businesses cant even apply. Momentum for change must be building as this excerpt from a letter from Local Government Minister Stirling Hinchcliffe indicates, after he received a petition complaining about the situation.

Also, has anyone questioned the $400k yearly service agreement between T.C.C . and the LGAQ and does the Mullet disclose her Directors fees from LGAQ ? As a LGAQ director, Jenny Hill, pops into her purse $31,000 p.a ta very muchly. Under the circumstances, that could be seen as blood money, since she must know the hardship this state-wide legalised rort is costing Townsvilles well-being. The Nest has received a number of complaints about Local Buy, but until this week, The Pie didnt have a coherent idea of what was happening so to get an independent assessment, The Magpie asked a business professional well versed in both business and LG matters to give this over-view. Given the current climate of spite and uncertainty, the person asked to remain anonymous. Local Buy is flawed in many aspects, even if one were to concede that its creation was well intentioned.Lets give them the benefit of the doubt to start with procurement can be complex and costly. Good procurement practice (eg. due diligence, evaluation requiring technical expertise etc) could be provided as a shared service, so that smaller organisations can in effect benefit from the capabilities of a larger organisation able to hire the appropriately skilled personnel. Theres also the prospect of negotiating better aggregate rates on the basis of aggregated volume. Thats the theory. The reality is that it is nowhere near this. Im not sure about the 5-year protection racket claim, but I do know that getting on the list involves not much more than paying some fees and ticking some boxes. This means a local council is more or less free to then pick and choose from the list, subject to the requirements of the LG Act. Magpie note: This means that the TCC can choose from a list based solely on price, which often means true locals cannot compete. This raises a moral question of whether it is more desirable to pay perhaps a bit more locally and materially contribute to a more vibrant local economy than to simply save some money because outside organisations that make no real contributions to our city. And it is this part of the system that is clearly open to corrupt influences. The Pie knows of none, but its an open invitation to it. Local Buy of course takes a Commission, from memory 10%, from registered suppliers when they win work, so in the end the potential benefits of savings arent materialised. Suppliers actually add the commission in. Theres also real doubt as to whether the Local Buy organisation actually has any real procurement capability. As a result, the tendency is for increasingly standardised or vanilla offerings, because thats the nature of generalised procedures run by people with limited specialisation and knowledge of local requirements or specialist areas eg, technology. Local Buy is a misnomer, of course. It neither compels nor guarantees procurement by a local authority from suppliers located within this authoritys area. Having said that, what goes to constituting local is never actually an easy question to answer, which makes a mockery of the entire buy local trope. One other thing on the Local Buy (and council procurement in general): theres a category called standing offer arrangement. This is basically a set of approved rates for services / products that a council can basically go back to time after time, without going out to tender. In theory, not a bad thing for pencils, paper clips and such like but as is always the case in procurement easily abused or at the very least, mis-used. The Magpie thanks the author for that succinct summary. It would certainly appear that we are being dudded one way or the other, but two things raise the Magpies curiosity: what do we get for our $400k annual contribution to the LGAQ? And noted in hindsight, just as this Local Buy system was being introduced, Mayor Mullet started dropping in the odd buy local slogan the timing appears to havde been there to fool people when they started hearing about local buy. Low level chicanery at its worst, spread about at the very time it now appears the council Jenny Hill heads was doing exactly the opposite. For Jenny Hill to trumpet the buy local cry is the height of hypocrisy, anyway. One of the very first acts she did when first elected mayor was to buy her new mayoral car (a top of the line Holden at around $70-$80,000) IN BRISBANE AND STIFFED THE RATEPAYERS TO HAVE IT SHIPPED HERE. And why was this? Because she had had a previous fight with Tony Ireland of TI Holden about repairs her previous vehicle, which she had mildly pranged into a gutter _ Ireland point blank refused her request to illegally mark it down as an accident insurance claim, which it clearly wasnt. Even although the Ireland company agreed to match the Brisbane price, Jenny Hill went ahead with the Brisbane deal anyway. Shes a sweet piece of work sometimes.

So if youre ever thinking if its true that local business people are fearful of spiteful retribution if they disagree with this civic leader, just keep that in mind. And Heres An Interesting Thought Wonder if Local Buy had anything to do with the controversial choice of pipe for the new Burdekin line, and did Local Buytb have anything to do with the pipeline jobs that went to Adelaide in stead of the promised boon to Townsville? Just askin. ya know. Yes The Astonisher Has Gone Beyond Parody The satirists lot is not a happy one lately. I mean, how do you make fun of something like the Bulletin that is so unintentionally crazy-funny to start with? Is this a secret plot to spike The Magpies guns? Last Tuesday, this appeared on page 16 as the editorial page of the Townsville Bulletin.

This is a stupendous blunder in a Townsville publication, that through their typical technical ineptness, the hard copy paper had published THE CAIRNS POST EDITORIAL PAGE the community voice (supposedly) of any newspaper. The editorial was of bugger all interest here, as well as being pretty stupid, anyway. It even had the Cairns deputy iditor signing it under the Townsville Bulletin masthead.

There was a time when this bit of prize fuckwittery wouldve caused an uproar, given the sensitive feelings between the two cities, but it appears weve been bludgeoned into not caring about the Bulletin anyway. Honestly, if it were not for the circle-jerk leadership of this city, the mayor and the head of Townsville Enterprise would be so incensed by this particular A community without a responsible newspaper is like a beautiful woman with only one eye (apologies to Brillat-Savarin). But still the harmless laughs kept coming. There was this story

which included this quote from one of the ladies of the night about southern blow-in blow-job competition on the streets: Theres false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there its some frumpy number. The girls have had a gutful of it This has been brewing for ages. Yknow, Thd Magpie thinks the lady might have a point. What sort of deceptive, conniving, immoral low-life would stoop to such trickery. Bet it would never happen in the Townsville Bulletin, would it? Huh, what? oh, oops.

But even when credibility-destroying cock-ups are right before their eyes, they still get into the paper. One should feel sorry for a decent old-time journo like Tony Raggatt, having his pic plastered between these clearly conflicting claims (the list clearly being nothing to with him).

But The Astonisher makes it easy to err take the piss.

This reeks of wreaking havoc on the language. Is The Angry Ant About To Up The Ante?

Paul Jacob Paul Jacob knows a cushy number when he sees one he is after all a Townsville City councillor. But it would seem our man is a tad more ambitious. The Ant broke ranks against Mayor Mullets Adani airstrip rort, conveniently just before he made an abortive run for state as a Labor-aligned but not endorsed candidate. Ever since, he has been regarded as a rebel ever since among the council sheeple and certainly by head shepherd Jennifer. So when he was front-paged in todays Astonisher

calling for an easing of water restrictions, many a pundit including The Pie, immediately assumed this was the signal for a Jacob joust for the top office in Walker Street. And that will be tricky. Unless Mayor Mullet abdicates and retires to malta, or runs on a Labor senate ticket her dearest wish but said not be shared by those who could make it so Clr Jacob will come under some intense pressure and even be flattered with promises of future glory by the Labor Party. Because despite her simpering shy denials of being a Labor mayor, Jenny Hill is, and is seen as, just that, and mainly by Labor itself. The party back room boys reckon mayor is as far as shes going, so they wouldnt rock what they see as a returnable vote boat in local government in March 2020. They know poor old Dolan Hayes will need Ashley and Martin soon with all the hair-tearing last thing the already beleaguered mayor needs is a Labor split ticket. But trust the Bulletin to come galumphing on to this particular scene with a few editorial bromides, but the best being this hilarious piece of total unselfawareness in an iditorial, which clearly is not Astonisher editorial policy.

Take your own advice, dearie. But Does The Pie Detect A Sly Dissension In The Senior Ranks At The Paper? Although The Pie doubts the feeling is mutual, he has great respect for the old-style work and values of John Ando Anderson he offers a very readable weekly service to the valuable rural readership of the paper, which clearly involves actual field work, and not just a few phone calls or, heaven forbid, lazy Facebook trolling. Now, Ando is nothing if not a steadfastly loyal News Ltd man; he has reason to be, the company spared no expense successfully defending him against spurious charge brought by the DPP over a jail interview almost 20 years ago. But The Pie couldnt help wonder if he wasnt trying to get a subtle message into the editors ear when writing today about Townsvilles landscape of words, waffle and impossible dreams.

Gotta love that line Pep talks are good for morale, but in the end, they start to sound like the boy crying wolf. And that, Ando, described PRECISELY the Bulletin editorial policy. very funny. Clever too, if The Pie is right. Pop in and have a chat to , will you? For all of us. Ghosts Of Iditors Past:Theres A Reason Hes Called Typo Gleeson

Typo Gleeson leaving an unsuccessful job interview as editor of Tailor & Cutter magazine. If you believe Sky Newss squeak fest hosted by Peter Typo Gleeson (sorry, only kidding) you might think David Crisafulli is returning to town for a special job and the head of TEL has changed her name.During the week, ww were treated too a hindenberg of hot air when Lil Patty OCallaghan and state opposition pollie Kid Crisafulli fielded a number of Dorothy Dixers from Typo. But one would think it was Typo in charge of the on-screen titling.

And when they got around to realising their mistake, in typical Typo fashion, they got that wrong too.

And Another Thing .. Best comment of the week goes to the bloke who replied to a totally embarrassing piece of nonesense in the paper about whether we are a friendly city. He suggested that of course we are we even wave to you from the roof of the Cleveland Detention Centre as you drive in from the airport. Luv it! Just what such a space-waste story deserved. Finally Its Been Another week of Wall-To-Wall umm .. Wall And we start with Mexico announcing the obvious

A Final Dad Joke (Well, Worked As A Granddad Joke)

Oh dear sorry. .. Thats it for another week, were off and running for 2019, its promising to be a cracker. There are a wider variety of folks taking to comments of late, keep it up, some are thoughtful, some hilarious, so entertain and be entertained. And if you have anything left over from the festive season, a donation to support The Magpies Nest will be of great assistance, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-massive-difference-between-buy-local-and-local-buy-how-mayor-mullet-has-played-the-townsville-business-community-for-mugs/

[markleetrashh]

Prince! Jaehyun

hiiii! could you make a prince!jaehyun like the one you did for mark ^^

A/N: it's a little different compared to mark's, and this is really bad tbh ahh

it’s been long since i did a prince! au so here it is ~

and jeffrey has been climbing up my bias list lately it’s crazy

who can resist him tbh

and a heads up before you continue , im really bad at writing prince!au’s because im not that familiar with the system so im sorry if it’s really bad omg

let’s start

you probably didn’t know he was the prince until he appeared on the news one day,

even though y'all were pretty close friends

and you had always wondered why you never saw him around

on the news, he was in a serious mood and he was doing all the paper work, being labelled as the "jaehyun the prince"

you’d never seen that side of him because he would always visit the small town and wear very casual clothes, joking and laughing with you

with no one protecting or guarding him

he’s such a chill prince tbh

he laughs and smiles a lot

he’s more like a friend to the country rather than a politician/prince

but when he gets serious he isn’t afraid to point out the flaws of the country’s system to the king

and he’d work really hard to change it

he’s like bestfriends with the other royal families’ sons

aka the other members

they often meet up even when there’s no special occasions and conversations could last from reminiscing childhood memories together to planning on working to make the country together in the future  - such handsome and goodlooking princes, it's as though they're like idols

probably escaped the palace so many times as a kid (even up till now) the palace guards and servants are used to it

when he was younger he used to escape to go play with the animals he saw in the garden, as he'd laugh innocently to himself, until one of his servants frantically ran up to him and asked him to go back because everyone was worried and though that he had gone missing

in his teen years, he'd leave the palace just to explore the town

that's where he met you

you were just wandering alone after school, praying that you did well for your exams

curious prince jaehyun would come up to you, starting a conversation and asking why you were alone

thinking that he was just one of the people near the area, you just casually started talking to him

and both of you would always meet up in the same area with not many people around, so jaehyun did not have to be afraid of his identity being revealed

all he told you was that he lived far away from the area and could only meet up at specific timings

he didn't want you to treat him differently after you knew

but you found out eventually and jaehyun was still talking casually with you, but flustered you was already bowing your head down, calling him by "sir" and "your majesty", instead of your usual "jae/jeffrey"

but being jaehyun, he asked you to treat him like a friend, and you had no choice but to listen to him

the next day he invited you to the palace

you still remember yourself getting nervous the night before, choosing your prettiest and most elegant looking dress you could find in your closet

morning arrived and you found yourself on the back of a horse, with jaehyun sitting in front of you, your arms around you, as jaehyun had requested his servants to come fetch you-with him

"you look good today, for once hehe"

"you did not just say that-"

servant glares at you

"i-i'm sorry, uh thanks.."

"sighs it's fine, ignore them, act like we always do!"

once you reached the palace you were fascinated by everything

from how big everything was, how the walls and floors were all polished nicely and shiny

to how almost at every door to a room, there would be guards there

you entered the dining room and to your surprise, you were greeted by two other goodlooking young men,

"this is johnny, prince of the seo family"

"and mark, my best friend, lee family"

the two greeted you with a small smile and flustered you did an over exaggerated 90° bow, causing the two to giggle

jaehyun would keep looking out for you and smile at you, and had even asked a servant to serve food to you

he likes sharing stories with you about being a prince, and also loves listening to your stories too, curious about how everything is outside the palace

probably shows small signs of liking you but you try not to be too high if yourself because he's the prince and you, only one of the people of the country

but you couldn't lie though, you found yourself falling for him too

he had invited you to the palace so many times now it's almost as though it's your second home

it was not until you found yourself in jaehyun's big room without his servant, and his small confession and kiss that woke you up,

you were dating a prince

surprisingly though, his parents had agreed to your relationship, as they loved how you managed to make jaehyun happy, making him work even harder as a prince

i'll stop here because my mind's really blocked im so sorry,

but if you want a part 2 or something, do request!!

hope you enjoyed reading this though ;-;

[slendermanlore]

Slender Man Mythos + Nightmares

Original Mythos, “Miscellaneous Journal Entries”:

“When you fear me, I love you; when you cower, I draw near to protect you; I will always protect you, I will always watch you. Your blindness is my omniscience; your weakness, my omnipotence. Until the day you die. Until the day you die.

I don’t hear the words, but they always stick in my head. I’m going to watch over my son. Until the day I die, until the day he dies.”

 Marble Hornets, “Entry #32”:

“I think I’m going crazy. I’m losing huge chunks of time. I’m having pounding headaches and coughing fits and I can’t sleep, but when I do sleep, I think I’m sleepwalking. And I keep having these dreams where I’m a little kid and something’s watching me.”

 Everyman HYBRID, “Episode #3: Dreams & Eating”:

“Just last week I had midterms and I was stressing out so much that I had dreams that I was running through the woods in my old elementary school and it felt like something was following me. You know, that could have been a manifestation of the stress levels I was feeling at school. It could've been a lot of things.”

 Tribe Twelve, Twitter:

“I hate waking up in a cold sweat and realizing that it was only a dream. I've been having recurring nightmares about that boardwalk.

The nightmare I had last night was vivid. I was on the boardwalk at dusk, I couldn't move, and I saw someone at the far end of the platform.”

 Original Mythos, “Patient of Dr. Bronn”:

“I’ve been having–dreams. Nightmares. Visions that I can’t wake up from of hurting my wife and son. And then, the next day, I don’t remember them as dreams. It’s like I really did the acts I imagined and there’s this horrible sick shock of seeing them healthy and walking around. Seeing my son play with his toys is like some sort of dream instead of reality. I haven’t been able to kiss my wife without feeling like I’m kissing a corpse.”

 Tribe Twelve, Twitter:

“very lucid dream. woke up. had to draw it. the eyes surrounded me. they were hungry. he was watching. grinning.”

 Everyman HYBRID, “Sleep Lab Part 2 - Evan's Dream Log”:

“But I think a big reason that I'm awake right now is because of this… messed-up dream that I just had. Um… children. It was the creepiest thing, these kids. And I was in, uh… I was in the middle of a town, and they were, they were everywhere, having fun, doing stuff. And they just started disappearing. I would look around and there were less around me and, um, until there was like none and, um, I just heard them all screaming and screaming. It was like all of them just screaming at once and, uh, the next time that I turned around, looking, I was in the middle of the woods, and I could hear them so much louder. Everywhere. And it sounded like they were coming from the trees. And these… bags… I'm gonna try to go back to sleep.”

 Original Mythos, “Fear Dubh”:

“I’ve still got the rosary, and even though people laugh, I sleep with it under my pillow. Because if I don’t, I dream. About the sound of wet leaves sliding softly across a window, and the way he is still watching me, even though he has no eyes.”

 Just Another Fool, “Thoughts”:

“The tree. My dream. It all makes sense. THERE ARE THREE BODIES IN THE TREE. Consider that the stick figure’s head is simply another stick. Look in the tree. There are three bodies there, and I saw them in my dream before I even knew there was something there. What’s more, I checked the notebook and sure enough, the bodies are hanging off of the tree limbs that were created by the pencil ripping through the previous page.”

 Marble Hornets, Twitter:

“Dozed off a little while ago and had a really vivid nightmare that Alex found out where I am.

His eyes were missing, and he constantly made these awful, high pitched screams inches from my ear.

I really need to get out of this place.”

 Tribe Twelve, “The Device”:

“The park… the park, it was there. My dream… I just had a dream. It was dark, dusk, like real dark, and then there’s fucking someone standing at the far end and I ran. I fucking ran. I booked it towards them and I ran as fast as I fucking could. It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like a fucking memory; like I was just there a minute ago. It was calling, it was… whatever it was, it was fucking calling my name. I don’t know. I don’t know why I ran, but I fucking ran, and I woke up just a minute ago and like… I think someone was with me; I really don’t remember. It was so real. It wasn’t like one of those dreams where you wake up and you realize, ‘hey, it was a dream.’ No, it felt like it fucking actually happened.”

 Original Mythos, “Miscellaneous Journal Entries”:

“Woke up at 5:22am. Had dream about a deeply wooded ravine. I was falling down towards its bottom, but not falling at the same time. I was able to perceive and place my foot or a hand at the right place at the right time to maintain momentum but not injure myself. It’s the closest I’ve come to flying in a dream. Vivid dreams were part of the side effects of the medication, and my journal has been testament to this.”

 Tribe Twelve, Formspring:

“Your life is like most people's nightmares. What are your nightmares?”

“Omnipresent eyes. Walking aimlessly through wooded areas. Voices calling out my name in the blackness. Terrible, terrible shit.”

 Original Mythos, “Dorothy Birch”:

“When he appears in my dreams, it’s always in that forest behind Uncle Ed’s farm. And he’s…taller, like he’s gained power or something. But he’s just so menacing that I know if I say anything, he’ll… he’ll…”

 Everyman HYBRID, Fifth Hidden Box:

“However, one of the children in my care, Jeffrey █████, is having a particularly difficult time acclimating to the home's routine schedule and cannot break himself from this dream that we have discussed a few times since his admission. It is quite apparent that these night-terrors are stemming from a traumatic incident and, when he describes the dream, it is quite clear that it has to do with the very violent fate that the rest of his family met back in Pennsylvania.”

 Tribe Twelve, Twitter:

“Just had a strange dream. A man sat in a chair in the middle of an empty room, his face obscured by his hands. There were scars on his arms.

I'm sure he was crying. I don't know who he was, but for some reason, the name Mr. Scars kept popping into my head. I think that was him.”

 Everyman HYBRID, “Consensus”:

“I’ve been having these dreams lately. Well, they’re not really dreams, because everything it tells me happens. […] He told me exactly what he did to Jessie and I can like picture it, perfectly.”

 Tribe Twelve, “Mary Asher Phone Call”:

“I know about the eyes, Noah. You know, the ones in your dreams. As well as the man with the pinhole eyes. I've had fucked up dreams too. That endless sea of tentacles. The figure at the end of that boardwalk.”

 Everyman HYBRID, Sixth Hidden Box:

“The dreams have started again.

Well, the thoughts of my children never cease their torment of my sleeping hours. Seeing their beautiful faces, that's torture enough. But the night-terrors… they've returned.

Terrible, impossible things done to and by them. I know there's nothing I can do to help their memory, but every night, I wake up, preparing for a battle, readying myself to fight for their lives – only to remember that I've already failed them.”

 Tribe Twelve, Twitter:

“dream. running in the woods. searching for something. see a dead body. turn around, im on an old bridge. someone comes up behind me. i wake.”

 And for real-life dreams caused by the Slender Man mythos, see: Dreams and Pareidolia

[oldguardaudio]

@realDonaldTrump -> Final battles to destroy 100% of the Caliphate in Syria + I am monitoring the situation in Venezuela very closely.

Trump – my turn

Trump 45

If Trump cured cancer

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

We have 1,800 ISIS Prisoners taken hostage in our final battles to destroy 100% of the Caliphate in Syria. Decisions are now being made as to what to do with these dangerous prisoners….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 12:34PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123263699668676608

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

….European countries are not helping at all, even though this was very much done for their benefit. They are refusing to take back prisoners from their specific countries. Not good!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 12:34PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123263701686149120

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

China is adding great stimulus to its economy while at the same time keeping interest rates low. Our Federal Reserve has incessantly lifted interest rates, even though inflation is very low, and instituted a very big dose of quantitative tightening. We have the potential to go…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 02:02PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123285120864092162

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

….up like a rocket if we did some lowering of rates, like one point, and some quantitative easing. Yes, we are doing very well at 3.2% GDP, but with our wonderfully low inflation, we could be setting major records &, at the same time, make our National Debt start to look small!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 02:07PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123287154833203200

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I am monitoring the situation in Venezuela very closely. The United States stands with the People of Venezuela and their Freedom!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 02:26PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123291797554454529

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

CONGRATULATIONS to the 2018 @NASCAR Cup Series Champion, @JoeyLogano! https://t.co/uHGTUVyRIC

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 04:21PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123321163189510155

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

If Cuban Troops and Militia do not immediately CEASE military and other operations for the purpose of causing death and destruction to the Constitution of Venezuela, a full and complete….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 05:11PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123333506346749952

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

….embargo, together with highest-level sanctions, will be placed on the island of Cuba. Hopefully, all Cuban soldiers will promptly and peacefully return to their island!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 05:11PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123333508078997505

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Today, it was my great honor to welcome and host the 2018 @NASCAR Cup Series Champion, @JoeyLogano and @Team_Penske to the @WhiteHouse! pic.twitter.com/ExCangG6Kc

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 30, 2019

April 30, 2019 at 07:26PM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123366738463162368

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I’ve done more for Firefighters than this dues sucking union will ever do, and I get paid ZERO! https://t.co/Tw0qwTiUD6

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 05:56AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526475481800704

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

My neighbor is a fireman and he loves trump

— David Paradis (@dpparadis123) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526535363870721

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I’m a firefighter and I don’t endorse Joe Biden My vote goes to President Donald Trump!!!!

— Tom (@icemanTom) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526617157054464

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I have fire fighter friends and they support Trump.

— Ro (@ro18007212) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526640745820162

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Im a firefighter and im NOT voting for Joe.

— Ed Orzech (@OrzechEd) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526691803078656

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

None. We are all pissed about this. I have withdrawn my support for firePAC

— Kevin Nash (@TheKevinNash61) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526724430499840

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

How any firefighter in NY can support any Dem is disgusting after DiBlasio went to the G2 last year to rip our great POTUS instead of a firefighters funeral who died on the job. #stopthehypocracy #Trump2020LandSlide

— Mitch Joseph (@mitchraider60) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526767770329088

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Agreed Dan. NYC FD inions haven’t made a peep but the known rank and file are Trump guys.

— Jimmy Mac (@JimmyMac233) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526802859798528

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

🏼 This career firefighter will not be voting for any Democrat on the ticket. I will be voting for @POTUS again.

— Corey Bates (@jcoreybates) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526867816988672

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

My father is a fireman and his entire firehouse loves Trump

— Tim Gatto (@G4TTO21) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123526933952831493

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

All firefighters I work with said No way !!!!!! Fake News

— TGrande (@TGrande7) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527458802884608

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

You are correct, 100%, Dan. A bunch of us have been talking, and this is just the DNC buying and paying for the voice of the fat cat leaders of the IAFF Union. C.W. Elliott, DCFD/EMS, retired 3/3/99.”Four More Years”

— C.w.Elliott (@CwElliott2) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527513160994816

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Does he know 90% of the Firemen’s retirement is dependent on the US Economy and invested in US Stock? Do not think the independent #Fireman thinker will be swayed by a socialist promoter.

— James the Immigrant (@JA_Loans) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527601300168704

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

The union bureaucrats endorse him but the due paying members don’t, and they wonder why unions are getting smaller and smaller

— Wade Ross (@wadar1969) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527649882771456

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Roger that….firefighters will vote Trump! The union may not be representing its membership appropriately in this instance.

— John Quagliano (@QuaglianoJohn) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527691133693952

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Nowhere have I heard the firefighters were supporting Joe Biden. The leadership of the firefighters union, on the other hand, ….

— Mark Cross (@mscrosswi) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527736025395201

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

“Over Charging Union Dues Alert”. Dan, how about Union leadership opening up books to own members since they have so much money to give to Joe? pic.twitter.com/LuLJpvuaYn

— Eli Brody4.0 (@woofeous) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527812596609029

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

This fire family does NOT support Joe Biden for President. #TRUMP2020🇺🇸

— Joelle Palombo (@joelle_palombo) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527850928353280

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I certainly won’t be voting for this guy!

— Korryb (@Korryb) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123527928174739456

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I bet if someone did a fireman’s poll, President Trump would win by a landslide.

— Daniel Troy Boone (@Daniel4SCBoone) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528001285754881

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Just the union leadership supports Biden. Members support Trump. This applies to most unions.

— Jeffrey Stewart (@JeffreyKStewart) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528038208159744

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Not I

— H2O Dog (@bobahide) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528092675444736

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Fact!!

— Cody Wargo (@wargs8) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528099151454209

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

No, we don’t support Crazy Joe!! And our members in our Local are up in arms!

— Jeff Neely (@JeffNeely11) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528858165235713

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Yea right, until they get in the voting booth!

— cathy dowd (@cmd629) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528958140719105

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

He has NO chance.

— Sandy (@Bones_zoom) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123528973290561546

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Well there could be a small group of Obama people, anyone in his right mind would not support Joe Biden

— Joan Williams (@JoanWil57769727) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:06AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529010657529856

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Happy im not a member of IAFF anymore

— clint welborn (@clintwelborn1) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529034292506624

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

None that I know of in my home town either

— Hike America (@HikeAmerica440) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529057285693442

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Shouldn’t the fireman have a say?

— Lisa Lima🇺🇸 (@LisaLimaaa) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529113669599232

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

The rank and file know who has their back and remember no one knows who you vote for !

— Kimberly (@Kimberl40855897) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529182036746240

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

This firefighter won’t be voting for creepy @JoeBiden

— Curtis Vincent (@CurtisVincent5) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529240748675072

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Not 🏻‍♂️nor my brother

— R McGuire 23 (@23Mcguire) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529292237897728

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

That’s why I am not in the IFFA. Don’t want my $$$ going to dems

— Lee J Wilkens (@broncolee70) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529362249256960

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

They will take union dues from trump voters and give to creepy though

— Steve (@Steverefresh) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529503677067264

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

This is why more lawsuits are going to presented by union members because of misrepresentation by the top echelon of these unions!!!

— Michael W. Canterbury (@mw_canterbury) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529541958418432

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

When the union backs you but the people in the union don’t

— Brenda Brady (@BradyBbum1957) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529579631656960

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

The fire fighters union bosses are endorsing a failure.

— Scott A. Stone (@Scooter172) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529634614861826

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

None of the MEN I know are either.

— G W Kohn (@GWKohn1) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529731352223746

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Smoke and mirrors Biden.

— Mary VanHorton (@VanhortonM) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529772355788803

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Add me to your list Dan. I am furious that the board would make such an announcement without even taking the membership view into acct.

— Chris 🇺🇸 (@chrisgogarty) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529840727142400

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Never Supporting a Fireman’s Ball again…

— JohnnyCryptoseed (@JCryptoseed) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123529863267323905

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I know a couple in my department. Granted I am in Alabama but most of the firefighters I talk to are voting @realDonaldTrump

— Ben Rawls (@firemanbrawls) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:11AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123530270362173440

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I know the police officers Union is backing Donald Trump…I back the blue #bluelivesmatter

— mike w 🇺🇸 (@blinddog007) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123530309931360256

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

He used there dues when they support trump

— Ken Robbio (@KRobbio) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123530415137067008

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Joe Biden is not even his party’s candidate yet. Firemen  can’t say they endorse him. He may not even be on ballot. Real firemen support President Trump. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

— 🇺🇸TarHeel (@flamingoHeels) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123530650903097345

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

The Unions have become Corporations representing themselves, Our President represents the people. #MAGA @realDonaldTrump

— Dan Kida (@RealDanKida) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123530816225722370

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

My husband a New York City firefighter for 15 years will be voting Trump 2020 all the way!!

— lana del fenty (@gIamourizes) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531015509762048

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

It doesn’t matter who they endorse, the only person winning in 2020 is President Trump!

— Harry Peterson (@harrypeterson_) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531059801489409

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

This statement is like so many others—liberal lies. Why would the military or emergency workers support a candidate who party disrespects everything about their cause??? Trump 2020. 🇺🇸

— Kathryn Shafer (@kshaferus) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531153707868162

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Stick in the eye by union…Trump has worked very hard for our first responders and union members…fighting very hard to bring back mfg., fighting hard against trade deals that have destroyed thousands of American jobs…

— Mike36561 (@mr36561) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531496374063104

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

As a retired FF I know that the majority of the rank and file are conservative or moderate and DO NOT support liberal democrats!

— Skip Omasta (@OmastaSkip) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531572563578882

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

As a retired Firefighter, I can only speak for my fellow retirees,and I can assure you NONE of us support him,OR the unions decision.

— deplorable bartley (@tedbartley) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531626061938688

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Why would any firefighter of service vote for him? @realDonaldTrump is the way to go.

— DJDaniel01 󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 (@TheDJDaniel01) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531711353118720

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Lousy choice

— Bob Williams (@gr84u2c) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531763651891201

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Nope not me either. I’m not voting for crazy Joe. My support is behind @realDonaldTrumpin 2020!

— BIG George (@BIGGeorgeAZ) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531812964376576

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I’m a retired volunteer firefighter and I’d be PISSED if my dues were going to this

— brad turner (@proudtexanbrew) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531848343224322

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

The ONLY reason why Joe Biden is able to get into this race is he knows for a fact that the democrat media will never dare to ask him a question about the corrupt Obama administration’s scandals, or about his dealings with Ukraine companies and government on behalf of his son.

— JPR jr (@Jrag19601) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531933898743809

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Im a Firefighter and I’m a YUGE trump supporter! I got banned from the IAFF web.

— Tom Lewis (@TomLewi86961554) April 29, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123531974751203328

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

24 years plus firefighter here,& there’s no chance Biden is my choice. #NoMoJoe Actually, no one on the left has the American workers best interests in mind. Higher taxes, bigger government & mass giveaway plans does not help the American “Worker”. @POTUSworks 4 every American

— Scott T. Bepler(Sam’s Dad) (@ScottBepler) April 30, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123532045626630144

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I cannot wait to vote for the greatest president ever

— Saul Pavlinsky Sr (@saulpavsr) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:21AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123532065956298752

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

“The Democrats can’t come to grips with the fact that there was No Collusion, there was No Conspiracy, there was No Obstruction. What we should be focused on is what’s been going on in our government, at the highest levels of the FBI….” Senator Josh Hawley

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:41AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123536601462788096

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

I am overriding the Decommission Order of the magnificent aircraft carrier Harry S. Truman, built in 1998 (fairly new), and considered one of the largest and finest in the world. It will be updated at a fraction of the cost of a new one (which also are being built)!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 06:51AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123540207104667649

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Gallup Poll: 56% of Americans rate their financial situation as excellent or good. This is the highest number since 2002, and up 10 points since 2016.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 07:01AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123542897960390657

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

“No President in history has endured such vicious personal attacks by political opponents. Still, the President’s record is unparalleled.” @LouDobbs

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 07:16AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123545524924223491

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Congress must change the Immigration Laws now, Dems won’t act. Wall is being built – 400 miles by end of next year. Mexico must stop the march to Border! @foxandfriends

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 08:07AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123559234128502784

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

Why didn’t President Obama do something about Russia in September (before November Election) when told by the FBI? He did NOTHING, and had no intention of doing anything!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

May 01, 2019 at 08:31AM via Twitter http://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1123564951203930112

@realDonaldTrump tweeted

NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. Besides, how can you have Obstruction when not only was there No Collusion (by Trump), but the bad actions were done by the “other” side? The greatest con-job in the history of American Politics!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 1, 2019

@realDonaldTrump -> Final battles to destroy 100% of the Caliphate in Syria + I am monitoring the situation in Venezuela very closely. @realDonaldTrump -> Final battles to destroy 100% of the Caliphate in Syria + I am monitoring the situation in Venezuela very closely.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

secrets (2/2) izzy stradlin x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

tour is over, its been about two months since it ended. you all are finally back to your own places in LA and youve been back and forth with izzy ever since, spending much more time with him as well as all the gnr guys. the aftermath finally caught up with you though.

song: forgive me mother by the relentless

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse

+++++++++

"hey mike can i ask you a question?"

i looked over at duff who wasnt really paying attention. i was hoping if i used his real name he would understand i had something important to say. it didnt. he kept moving his fingers against his bass, strumming it and nodding his head back and forth.

"mikey?"

i asked again but still nothing.

"Micheal!"

i practically yelled and he looked up at me shocked.

"jeez y/n cant you see im busy? what?"

i huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, sinking further into the couch.

"i have a question."

he looked over at me like 'really?'

"okay?"

he said unamused.

"do you think im a good person?"

i said a little shy. he drew his brows together before setting his bass down.

"of course, youre like a sister to me."

he said and i shook my head.

"thats not what i meant."

he looked at me a little concerned.

"wheres all this coming from?"

he asked, sitting back and really looking at me. i shrugged.

"i have a secret that i really want to tell you but im scared."

he placed his hand gently on my thigh, squeezing it.

"you know you can talk to me about anything but if its to much you dont have to."

i nodded.

"duffy i-"

i closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. then the front door swung open, snatching my attention. iz and axl both walked in, izzy sending me a weird look noticing duffs hand still on my leg. they both walked down the hallway away from us.

"ill tell you later."

i said, standing and walking to the kitchen.

"okay."

he said softly, watching me leave. i stepped behind the wall for a second and took a deep breath, hearing him strum his bass again. if i couldnt even tell duff, how the hell was i supposed to talk to izzy about this. i walked slowly to the fridge and looked in it, frowning.

"god, do we have anything here other than alcohol?"

i complained, slamming the door shut.

"its never been a problem before."

izzy said sternly, making me jump as he watched me from across the room sipping his beer. i hadnt really noticed him there when i walked in and was wondering if he had really been there that long. i could have swore he went to the back room with axl. i shook my head of the thought and sat down at the table.

"maybe i want something different for once. is that a problem?"

i asked, picking at the doily under the napkin holder. he shrugged and sat across from me, crossing one leg over the other.

"i guess not."

he kind of snapped back. i frowned at him.

"you okay iz?"

he seemed a little off but then again maybe i was just projecting my own feelings onto him.

"yeah im great, why do you ask?"

he said a little coldly and i drew my brows, looking down at the table. i knew we were a secret and all but he didnt have to be mean about it. hed never been like this with me before.

"i dont know, you just seem a little mad."

i said softly, not wanting to actually anger him. he took a long sip of his beer.

"nope just ready to be alone i guess."

he sent me a knowing look and i immediately knew what he wanted. part of me wanted it to but i had more pressing matters to attend to. besides, duff and ax where still here and we wouldnt be able to get away with much, specially not the way he made me scream the last few times.

"alone doesnt sound like a bad idea."

i said back, noting the glimmer of hope in his eyes as he smirked at me, taking another drink.

"hey, slash called and we're gonna meet him and steven to eat, you two coming?"

duff said, poking his head into the kitchen.

"uh no im good, im not hungry."

i said looking over at him and he nodded.

"how bout you iz?"

he side nodded.

"no, ill stay here with y/n, we can go grab something later."

duff nodded once.

"okay."

he said disappearing behind the wall again. i thought for a second before standing and walking to the doorway, watching him and axl leave, waving goodbye before he closed the door. then i felt a looming behind me and it didnt take long for his hands to find their way to my hips.

"so, alone time..."

he said softly, leaning down and nuzzling his nose into my neck. i sighed out as he began kissing there, his thumbs rubbing circles into my sides. then, without warning he spun me around and connected our lips, kissing me deeply. i wrapped my one arm around his shoulders before remembering what i really needed to do and pushed him away.

"wait."

i breathed and he moved in for another kiss.

"i said wait."

i smiled at him, free hand firmly against his chest.

"c'mon, i missed you."

he protested kissing my cheek a few times, slowly moving to my neck.

"i have something to tell you first."

he hummed against me, his hands making their way to my ass and sliding into my back jean pockets. my eyes went wide as he looked at me a little confused, pulling what was in there out. my heart rate increased as he looked down at it with his brows furrowed.

"surprise?"

i said carefully, trying to study him. he just stared at it for a second, not letting me go.

"wait, y/n what is this?"

he looked up at me. i cleared my throat, feeling his hand remove itself from my waist as he held the picture with both hands now.

"what does it look like?"

he looked down at it again then back up at me and his face fell.

"this isnt what i think it is right? you arent?"

i scratched the back of my neck nervously.

"it is, and i am."

his mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish. his hand found its way into his hair, his eyes getting wide as he stumbled back.

"wait."

he said shaking his head.

"i need to process this for a second."

i sent him an odd look.

"izzy are you okay?"

he shook his head no and went back to the table, sitting down and staring at the photo.

"youre... pregnant."

he said slowly. i walked to him and placed my hand gently on his shoulder.

"yep."

i said a little worried now.

"who's is it?"

he asked looking up at me. i sent him a look.

"do you really need to ask?"

he let out a staggered breath and looked back down at the photo sitting on the table.

"so it is mine."

he affirmed with himself and nodded a few times, very slowly. he turned his head back to me and of course my stomach was eye level with him. he looked up at me for a second before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my stomach, never once breaking eye contact.

"i know ive never said it before cause we are so on the down low we are basically nonexistent but i love you. so much."

he said sincerely, standing up and placing his hands firmly at my back, pulling me closer to him. i smiled at him, tears stinging my eyes.

"i love you too Jeffrey."

i said softly, placing my hand against his cheek. he picked me up quickly and sat me on the table, leaning down and kissing me deeply.

"what the fuck?"

i heard and both our attention snapped to the kitchen doorway, duff standing there with a shocked expression on his face.

"i thought you were getting dinner with slash."

i said, eyes wide.

"i forgot my wallet. and hey! i thought you two were just friends!"

he torted back.

"not anymore."

izzy said, holding the picture of the sonogram up.

"im gonna be a dad."

he said endearingly, looking back down at me with a wide smile across his lips.

"youre pregnant?!"

duff practically screamed, walking into the kitchen and taking the picture from izzy. i nodded.

"thats what i wanted to tell you earlier."

he looked up at me, a distressed look on his face.

"my fake sister is pregnant with the child of my bands guitarist."

he said unbelievably, making me giggle.

"duffy its not a big deal."

he looked at me like i was crazy

"not a big deal? youre pregnant! this is life changing!"

"wait, y/n's pregnant?"

i heard slash say, the rest of the band coming into view behind him. i face palmed, making izzy laugh as duff moved to sit in the chair, looking over the sonogram again.

"alright, since everyone's here now, yes i am pregnant."

i said, looking over slash, axl, and steven as they walked into the kitchen. slash took the sonogram from duff and looked down at it, duffs fingers tangling in his messy blonde hair.

"who's the father?"

slash asked looking over at me, izzy still stood between my legs, looking smug as ever. he was still waiting for an answer though so i just pointed to iz.

"no."

he said, shocked.

"congrats."

steve said, walking over and half hugging me the best he could with izzy still in the way.

"thanks."

i said smiling at him. izzy faked hurt and frowned.

"hey, i had a part in this too."

he protested, axl coming over and slapping him on the back.

"oh we know. you dog!"

i laughed and hid my face in my hands.

"ya know, we were having a nice moment. what happened to you all getting dinner together?"

they all looked around at each other and shrugged.

"couldnt decide who would buy so we tried to pool together cash but duff left his wallet here. we came back to get it, he was taking too long so we came in to investigate why and now we all know the big news."

axl narrated.

"now i feel like you two have to come with us, as a celebration dinner."

slash said. i looked over at duff who still seemed like he was having a crisis.

"what do you say iz? celebratory 'we're expecting' dinner?"

he nodded, kissing me gently.

"id love that."

[closetedwh0r3]

OOO GIRLLL I WANNA KNOWW ARE YOU READY TO CRYY CAUSE IM NO GOOD NO GOODDDDD

ARMS AND HANDS

[sweetlifetownsville]

The Massive Difference Between 'Buy Local' And 'Local Buy' ... How Mayor Mullet Has Played The Townsville Business Community For Mugs.

Jenny Hill has traded on a trick of language to fool Townsville into thinking she is a champion for local workers and business, when the exact opposite is the case. It all revolves around the Local Government Association of Queenslands business arm called Local Buy and it is a deliberate play on words to line the coffers of the LGAQ. As The Pie reports, this one looks murky indeed. Also, the Townsville Bulletin goes beyond beyond parody, with one of their biggest side-splitting bungles yet and overall, it was a week you couldnt make up unless of course, youre the Bulletin. And is rebel councillor Paul The Angry Ant Jacob shaping up to take on The Mullet well, he may well have delusions of popularity and adequacy for a tilt in 2020 but there will be one powerful group that will try to block him. Also, the funniest comment on a news story this week comes from the most unlikely place and by popular demand, our regular pictorial gallery from Trumpistan. But first The shared thought-fart of the week belongs to One Notions P Hanson and the Katteronics R Katter. No sooner had Hanson quavered tremulously over the radio that people on the dole should be put to work catching cane toads at ten cents a pop, than Katter jumped on this creaky bandwagon and and upped the ante.

Bob Katter (right). Columnist James Jeffrey once wrote the Bob uses words like a cliff in Norway uses lemmings, and during the week, the member for Kennedy obliged with proof when he gurgled, giggled, sneered and croaked out his proposal that kids should catch the toads for 40 cents a time and be armed with air rifles to get the job done. It all makes one think that both Hanson and Katter are still smarting from their latest rejection letters from The Mensa Society, but the ever-practical Bentley thinks no matter how the creatures are caught, there might be a bit of a flaw in the idea.

Gosh, kids could be recruited under the banner of The Toady Army oh, hang on, maybe not, Townsville City councillors might sue for copyright. Is The LGAQs Nice Little Earner LOCAL BUY Costing Townsville A Motza? Some well credentialed business folks around town at increasingly frustrated with the little-understood Queensland Local Government Associations business arm Buy Local. And on the face of what two well-placed identities have told The Pie, the whole set-up looks ripe for rorts of all sorts, even progressing to very serious corruption unless proper transparency is in place. First this landed in the Nests inbox from a respected and successful Townsville businessman. Just wanted to highlighta program that shows that Mayor Mullet cannot only stuff Townsville as Mayor, she is also doing it as a Director of LGAQ against local businesses who payrent/rates and employ people.Townsville City Council is among those Queensland Local Councils using LGAQ Local Buy to avoid going to tender locally, allowing them toappoint out of town contractors with the LGAQ taking a cut (understood to be 10% of any contract, which of course is just added on to what the cost would otherwise be). Townsville businesses who were previously and successfully supplying services to Council have lost out under this scheme with many being forced to the business and had to put off staff. Any complaints about the dire situation made to Richard The Screaming Midget Beckett (no longer with the council met with threats that they would be locked out of any Council tenders in the future all under the culture from the Impailer and Mayor Mullet . To be an approved Local buy supplier you have to apply and I think pay an amount to be approved and there is a period of 5 years in which other similar other local businesses cant even apply. Momentum for change must be building as this excerpt from a letter from Local Government Minister Stirling Hinchcliffe indicates, after he received a petition complaining about the situation.

Also, has anyone questioned the $400k yearly service agreement between T.C.C . and the LGAQ and does the Mullet disclose her Directors fees from LGAQ ? As a LGAQ director, Jenny Hill, pops into her purse $31,000 p.a ta very muchly. Under the circumstances, that could be seen as blood money, since she must know the hardship this state-wide legalised rort is costing Townsvilles well-being. The Nest has received a number of complaints about Local Buy, but until this week, The Pie didnt have a coherent idea of what was happening so to get an independent assessment, The Magpie asked a business professional well versed in both business and LG matters to give this over-view. Given the current climate of spite and uncertainty, the person asked to remain anonymous. Local Buy is flawed in many aspects, even if one were to concede that its creation was well intentioned.Lets give them the benefit of the doubt to start with procurement can be complex and costly. Good procurement practice (eg. due diligence, evaluation requiring technical expertise etc) could be provided as a shared service, so that smaller organisations can in effect benefit from the capabilities of a larger organisation able to hire the appropriately skilled personnel. Theres also the prospect of negotiating better aggregate rates on the basis of aggregated volume. Thats the theory. The reality is that it is nowhere near this. Im not sure about the 5-year protection racket claim, but I do know that getting on the list involves not much more than paying some fees and ticking some boxes. This means a local council is more or less free to then pick and choose from the list, subject to the requirements of the LG Act. Magpie note: This means that the TCC can choose from a list based solely on price, which often means true locals cannot compete. This raises a moral question of whether it is more desirable to pay perhaps a bit more locally and materially contribute to a more vibrant local economy than to simply save some money because outside organisations that make no real contributions to our city. And it is this part of the system that is clearly open to corrupt influences. The Pie knows of none, but its an open invitation to it. Local Buy of course takes a Commission, from memory 10%, from registered suppliers when they win work, so in the end the potential benefits of savings arent materialised. Suppliers actually add the commission in. Theres also real doubt as to whether the Local Buy organisation actually has any real procurement capability. As a result, the tendency is for increasingly standardised or vanilla offerings, because thats the nature of generalised procedures run by people with limited specialisation and knowledge of local requirements or specialist areas eg, technology. Local Buy is a misnomer, of course. It neither compels nor guarantees procurement by a local authority from suppliers located within this authoritys area. Having said that, what goes to constituting local is never actually an easy question to answer, which makes a mockery of the entire buy local trope. One other thing on the Local Buy (and council procurement in general): theres a category called standing offer arrangement. This is basically a set of approved rates for services / products that a council can basically go back to time after time, without going out to tender. In theory, not a bad thing for pencils, paper clips and such like but as is always the case in procurement easily abused or at the very least, mis-used. The Magpie thanks the author for that succinct summary. It would certainly appear that we are being dudded one way or the other, but two things raise the Magpies curiosity: what do we get for our $400k annual contribution to the LGAQ? And noted in hindsight, just as this Local Buy system was being introduced, Mayor Mullet started dropping in the odd buy local slogan the timing appears to havde been there to fool people when they started hearing about local buy. Low level chicanery at its worst, spread about at the very time it now appears the council Jenny Hill heads was doing exactly the opposite. For Jenny Hill to trumpet the buy local cry is the height of hypocrisy, anyway. One of the very first acts she did when first elected mayor was to buy her new mayoral car (a top of the line Holden at around $70-$80,000) IN BRISBANE AND STIFFED THE RATEPAYERS TO HAVE IT SHIPPED HERE. And why was this? Because she had had a previous fight with Tony Ireland of TI Holden about repairs her previous vehicle, which she had mildly pranged into a gutter _ Ireland point blank refused her request to illegally mark it down as an accident insurance claim, which it clearly wasnt. Even although the Ireland company agreed to match the Brisbane price, Jenny Hill went ahead with the Brisbane deal anyway. Shes a sweet piece of work sometimes.

So if youre ever thinking if its true that local business people are fearful of spiteful retribution if they disagree with this civic leader, just keep that in mind. And Heres An Interesting Thought Wonder if Local Buy had anything to do with the controversial choice of pipe for the new Burdekin line, and did Local Buytb have anything to do with the pipeline jobs that went to Adelaide in stead of the promised boon to Townsville? Just askin. ya know. Yes The Astonisher Has Gone Beyond Parody The satirists lot is not a happy one lately. I mean, how do you make fun of something like the Bulletin that is so unintentionally crazy-funny to start with? Is this a secret plot to spike The Magpies guns? Last Tuesday, this appeared on page 16 as the editorial page of the Townsville Bulletin.

This is a stupendous blunder in a Townsville publication, that through their typical technical ineptness, the hard copy paper had published THE CAIRNS POST EDITORIAL PAGE the community voice (supposedly) of any newspaper. The editorial was of bugger all interest here, as well as being pretty stupid, anyway. It even had the Cairns deputy iditor signing it under the Townsville Bulletin masthead.

There was a time when this bit of prize fuckwittery wouldve caused an uproar, given the sensitive feelings between the two cities, but it appears weve been bludgeoned into not caring about the Bulletin anyway. Honestly, if it were not for the circle-jerk leadership of this city, the mayor and the head of Townsville Enterprise would be so incensed by this particular A community without a responsible newspaper is like a beautiful woman with only one eye (apologies to Brillat-Savarin). But still the harmless laughs kept coming. There was this story

which included this quote from one of the ladies of the night about southern blow-in blow-job competition on the streets: Theres false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there its some frumpy number. The girls have had a gutful of it This has been brewing for ages. Yknow, Thd Magpie thinks the lady might have a point. What sort of deceptive, conniving, immoral low-life would stoop to such trickery. Bet it would never happen in the Townsville Bulletin, would it? Huh, what? oh, oops.

But even when credibility-destroying cock-ups are right before their eyes, they still get into the paper. One should feel sorry for a decent old-time journo like Tony Raggatt, having his pic plastered between these clearly conflicting claims (the list clearly being nothing to with him).

But The Astonisher makes it easy to err take the piss.

This reeks of wreaking havoc on the language. Is The Angry Ant About To Up The Ante?

Paul Jacob Paul Jacob knows a cushy number when he sees one he is after all a Townsville City councillor. But it would seem our man is a tad more ambitious. The Ant broke ranks against Mayor Mullets Adani airstrip rort, conveniently just before he made an abortive run for state as a Labor-aligned but not endorsed candidate. Ever since, he has been regarded as a rebel ever since among the council sheeple and certainly by head shepherd Jennifer. So when he was front-paged in todays Astonisher

calling for an easing of water restrictions, many a pundit including The Pie, immediately assumed this was the signal for a Jacob joust for the top office in Walker Street. And that will be tricky. Unless Mayor Mullet abdicates and retires to malta, or runs on a Labor senate ticket her dearest wish but said not be shared by those who could make it so Clr Jacob will come under some intense pressure and even be flattered with promises of future glory by the Labor Party. Because despite her simpering shy denials of being a Labor mayor, Jenny Hill is, and is seen as, just that, and mainly by Labor itself. The party back room boys reckon mayor is as far as shes going, so they wouldnt rock what they see as a returnable vote boat in local government in March 2020. They know poor old Dolan Hayes will need Ashley and Martin soon with all the hair-tearing last thing the already beleaguered mayor needs is a Labor split ticket. But trust the Bulletin to come galumphing on to this particular scene with a few editorial bromides, but the best being this hilarious piece of total unselfawareness in an iditorial, which clearly is not Astonisher editorial policy.

Take your own advice, dearie. But Does The Pie Detect A Sly Dissension In The Senior Ranks At The Paper? Although The Pie doubts the feeling is mutual, he has great respect for the old-style work and values of John Ando Anderson he offers a very readable weekly service to the valuable rural readership of the paper, which clearly involves actual field work, and not just a few phone calls or, heaven forbid, lazy Facebook trolling. Now, Ando is nothing if not a steadfastly loyal News Ltd man; he has reason to be, the company spared no expense successfully defending him against spurious charge brought by the DPP over a jail interview almost 20 years ago. But The Pie couldnt help wonder if he wasnt trying to get a subtle message into the editors ear when writing today about Townsvilles landscape of words, waffle and impossible dreams.

Gotta love that line Pep talks are good for morale, but in the end, they start to sound like the boy crying wolf. And that, Ando, described PRECISELY the Bulletin editorial policy. very funny. Clever too, if The Pie is right. Pop in and have a chat to , will you? For all of us. Ghosts Of Iditors Past:Theres A Reason Hes Called Typo Gleeson

Typo Gleeson leaving an unsuccessful job interview as editor of Tailor & Cutter magazine. If you believe Sky Newss squeak fest hosted by Peter Typo Gleeson (sorry, only kidding) you might think David Crisafulli is returning to town for a special job and the head of TEL has changed her name.During the week, ww were treated too a hindenberg of hot air when Lil Patty OCallaghan and state opposition pollie Kid Crisafulli fielded a number of Dorothy Dixers from Typo. But one would think it was Typo in charge of the on-screen titling.

And when they got around to realising their mistake, in typical Typo fashion, they got that wrong too.

And Another Thing .. Best comment of the week goes to the bloke who replied to a totally embarrassing piece of nonesense in the paper about whether we are a friendly city. He suggested that of course we are we even wave to you from the roof of the Cleveland Detention Centre as you drive in from the airport. Luv it! Just what such a space-waste story deserved. Finally Its Been Another week of Wall-To-Wall umm .. Wall And we start with Mexico announcing the obvious

A Final Dad Joke (Well, Worked As A Granddad Joke)

Oh dear sorry. .. Thats it for another week, were off and running for 2019, its promising to be a cracker. There are a wider variety of folks taking to comments of late, keep it up, some are thoughtful, some hilarious, so entertain and be entertained. And if you have anything left over from the festive season, a donation to support The Magpies Nest will be of great assistance, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-massive-difference-between-buy-local-and-local-buy-how-mayor-mullet-has-played-the-townsville-business-community-for-mugs/

[sweetlifetownsville]

The Massive Difference Between 'Buy Local' And 'Local Buy' ... How Mayor Mullet Has Played The Townsville Business Community For Mugs.

Jenny Hill has traded on a trick of language to fool Townsville into thinking she is a champion for local workers and business, when the exact opposite is the case. It all revolves around the Local Government Association of Queenslands business arm called Local Buy and it is a deliberate play on words to line the coffers of the LGAQ. As The Pie reports, this one looks murky indeed. Also, the Townsville Bulletin goes beyond beyond parody, with one of their biggest side-splitting bungles yet and overall, it was a week you couldnt make up unless of course, youre the Bulletin. And is rebel councillor Paul The Angry Ant Jacob shaping up to take on The Mullet well, he may well have delusions of popularity and adequacy for a tilt in 2020 but there will be one powerful group that will try to block him. Also, the funniest comment on a news story this week comes from the most unlikely place and by popular demand, our regular pictorial gallery from Trumpistan. But first The shared thought-fart of the week belongs to One Notions P Hanson and the Katteronics R Katter. No sooner had Hanson quavered tremulously over the radio that people on the dole should be put to work catching cane toads at ten cents a pop, than Katter jumped on this creaky bandwagon and and upped the ante.

Bob Katter (right). Columnist James Jeffrey once wrote the Bob uses words like a cliff in Norway uses lemmings, and during the week, the member for Kennedy obliged with proof when he gurgled, giggled, sneered and croaked out his proposal that kids should catch the toads for 40 cents a time and be armed with air rifles to get the job done. It all makes one think that both Hanson and Katter are still smarting from their latest rejection letters from The Mensa Society, but the ever-practical Bentley thinks no matter how the creatures are caught, there might be a bit of a flaw in the idea.

Gosh, kids could be recruited under the banner of The Toady Army oh, hang on, maybe not, Townsville City councillors might sue for copyright. Is The LGAQs Nice Little Earner LOCAL BUY Costing Townsville A Motza? Some well credentialed business folks around town at increasingly frustrated with the little-understood Queensland Local Government Associations business arm Buy Local. And on the face of what two well-placed identities have told The Pie, the whole set-up looks ripe for rorts of all sorts, even progressing to very serious corruption unless proper transparency is in place. First this landed in the Nests inbox from a respected and successful Townsville businessman. Just wanted to highlighta program that shows that Mayor Mullet cannot only stuff Townsville as Mayor, she is also doing it as a Director of LGAQ against local businesses who payrent/rates and employ people.Townsville City Council is among those Queensland Local Councils using LGAQ Local Buy to avoid going to tender locally, allowing them toappoint out of town contractors with the LGAQ taking a cut (understood to be 10% of any contract, which of course is just added on to what the cost would otherwise be). Townsville businesses who were previously and successfully supplying services to Council have lost out under this scheme with many being forced to the business and had to put off staff. Any complaints about the dire situation made to Richard The Screaming Midget Beckett (no longer with the council met with threats that they would be locked out of any Council tenders in the future all under the culture from the Impailer and Mayor Mullet . To be an approved Local buy supplier you have to apply and I think pay an amount to be approved and there is a period of 5 years in which other similar other local businesses cant even apply. Momentum for change must be building as this excerpt from a letter from Local Government Minister Stirling Hinchcliffe indicates, after he received a petition complaining about the situation.

Also, has anyone questioned the $400k yearly service agreement between T.C.C . and the LGAQ and does the Mullet disclose her Directors fees from LGAQ ? As a LGAQ director, Jenny Hill, pops into her purse $31,000 p.a ta very muchly. Under the circumstances, that could be seen as blood money, since she must know the hardship this state-wide legalised rort is costing Townsvilles well-being. The Nest has received a number of complaints about Local Buy, but until this week, The Pie didnt have a coherent idea of what was happening so to get an independent assessment, The Magpie asked a business professional well versed in both business and LG matters to give this over-view. Given the current climate of spite and uncertainty, the person asked to remain anonymous. Local Buy is flawed in many aspects, even if one were to concede that its creation was well intentioned.Lets give them the benefit of the doubt to start with procurement can be complex and costly. Good procurement practice (eg. due diligence, evaluation requiring technical expertise etc) could be provided as a shared service, so that smaller organisations can in effect benefit from the capabilities of a larger organisation able to hire the appropriately skilled personnel. Theres also the prospect of negotiating better aggregate rates on the basis of aggregated volume. Thats the theory. The reality is that it is nowhere near this. Im not sure about the 5-year protection racket claim, but I do know that getting on the list involves not much more than paying some fees and ticking some boxes. This means a local council is more or less free to then pick and choose from the list, subject to the requirements of the LG Act. Magpie note: This means that the TCC can choose from a list based solely on price, which often means true locals cannot compete. This raises a moral question of whether it is more desirable to pay perhaps a bit more locally and materially contribute to a more vibrant local economy than to simply save some money because outside organisations that make no real contributions to our city. And it is this part of the system that is clearly open to corrupt influences. The Pie knows of none, but its an open invitation to it. Local Buy of course takes a Commission, from memory 10%, from registered suppliers when they win work, so in the end the potential benefits of savings arent materialised. Suppliers actually add the commission in. Theres also real doubt as to whether the Local Buy organisation actually has any real procurement capability. As a result, the tendency is for increasingly standardised or vanilla offerings, because thats the nature of generalised procedures run by people with limited specialisation and knowledge of local requirements or specialist areas eg, technology. Local Buy is a misnomer, of course. It neither compels nor guarantees procurement by a local authority from suppliers located within this authoritys area. Having said that, what goes to constituting local is never actually an easy question to answer, which makes a mockery of the entire buy local trope. One other thing on the Local Buy (and council procurement in general): theres a category called standing offer arrangement. This is basically a set of approved rates for services / products that a council can basically go back to time after time, without going out to tender. In theory, not a bad thing for pencils, paper clips and such like but as is always the case in procurement easily abused or at the very least, mis-used. The Magpie thanks the author for that succinct summary. It would certainly appear that we are being dudded one way or the other, but two things raise the Magpies curiosity: what do we get for our $400k annual contribution to the LGAQ? And noted in hindsight, just as this Local Buy system was being introduced, Mayor Mullet started dropping in the odd buy local slogan the timing appears to havde been there to fool people when they started hearing about local buy. Low level chicanery at its worst, spread about at the very time it now appears the council Jenny Hill heads was doing exactly the opposite. For Jenny Hill to trumpet the buy local cry is the height of hypocrisy, anyway. One of the very first acts she did when first elected mayor was to buy her new mayoral car (a top of the line Holden at around $70-$80,000) IN BRISBANE AND STIFFED THE RATEPAYERS TO HAVE IT SHIPPED HERE. And why was this? Because she had had a previous fight with Tony Ireland of TI Holden about repairs her previous vehicle, which she had mildly pranged into a gutter _ Ireland point blank refused her request to illegally mark it down as an accident insurance claim, which it clearly wasnt. Even although the Ireland company agreed to match the Brisbane price, Jenny Hill went ahead with the Brisbane deal anyway. Shes a sweet piece of work sometimes.

So if youre ever thinking if its true that local business people are fearful of spiteful retribution if they disagree with this civic leader, just keep that in mind. And Heres An Interesting Thought Wonder if Local Buy had anything to do with the controversial choice of pipe for the new Burdekin line, and did Local Buytb have anything to do with the pipeline jobs that went to Adelaide in stead of the promised boon to Townsville? Just askin. ya know. Yes The Astonisher Has Gone Beyond Parody The satirists lot is not a happy one lately. I mean, how do you make fun of something like the Bulletin that is so unintentionally crazy-funny to start with? Is this a secret plot to spike The Magpies guns? Last Tuesday, this appeared on page 16 as the editorial page of the Townsville Bulletin.

This is a stupendous blunder in a Townsville publication, that through their typical technical ineptness, the hard copy paper had published THE CAIRNS POST EDITORIAL PAGE the community voice (supposedly) of any newspaper. The editorial was of bugger all interest here, as well as being pretty stupid, anyway. It even had the Cairns deputy iditor signing it under the Townsville Bulletin masthead.

There was a time when this bit of prize fuckwittery wouldve caused an uproar, given the sensitive feelings between the two cities, but it appears weve been bludgeoned into not caring about the Bulletin anyway. Honestly, if it were not for the circle-jerk leadership of this city, the mayor and the head of Townsville Enterprise would be so incensed by this particular A community without a responsible newspaper is like a beautiful woman with only one eye (apologies to Brillat-Savarin). But still the harmless laughs kept coming. There was this story

which included this quote from one of the ladies of the night about southern blow-in blow-job competition on the streets: Theres false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there its some frumpy number. The girls have had a gutful of it This has been brewing for ages. Yknow, Thd Magpie thinks the lady might have a point. What sort of deceptive, conniving, immoral low-life would stoop to such trickery. Bet it would never happen in the Townsville Bulletin, would it? Huh, what? oh, oops.

But even when credibility-destroying cock-ups are right before their eyes, they still get into the paper. One should feel sorry for a decent old-time journo like Tony Raggatt, having his pic plastered between these clearly conflicting claims (the list clearly being nothing to with him).

But The Astonisher makes it easy to err take the piss.

This reeks of wreaking havoc on the language. Is The Angry Ant About To Up The Ante?

Paul Jacob Paul Jacob knows a cushy number when he sees one he is after all a Townsville City councillor. But it would seem our man is a tad more ambitious. The Ant broke ranks against Mayor Mullets Adani airstrip rort, conveniently just before he made an abortive run for state as a Labor-aligned but not endorsed candidate. Ever since, he has been regarded as a rebel ever since among the council sheeple and certainly by head shepherd Jennifer. So when he was front-paged in todays Astonisher

calling for an easing of water restrictions, many a pundit including The Pie, immediately assumed this was the signal for a Jacob joust for the top office in Walker Street. And that will be tricky. Unless Mayor Mullet abdicates and retires to malta, or runs on a Labor senate ticket her dearest wish but said not be shared by those who could make it so Clr Jacob will come under some intense pressure and even be flattered with promises of future glory by the Labor Party. Because despite her simpering shy denials of being a Labor mayor, Jenny Hill is, and is seen as, just that, and mainly by Labor itself. The party back room boys reckon mayor is as far as shes going, so they wouldnt rock what they see as a returnable vote boat in local government in March 2020. They know poor old Dolan Hayes will need Ashley and Martin soon with all the hair-tearing last thing the already beleaguered mayor needs is a Labor split ticket. But trust the Bulletin to come galumphing on to this particular scene with a few editorial bromides, but the best being this hilarious piece of total unselfawareness in an iditorial, which clearly is not Astonisher editorial policy.

Take your own advice, dearie. But Does The Pie Detect A Sly Dissension In The Senior Ranks At The Paper? Although The Pie doubts the feeling is mutual, he has great respect for the old-style work and values of John Ando Anderson he offers a very readable weekly service to the valuable rural readership of the paper, which clearly involves actual field work, and not just a few phone calls or, heaven forbid, lazy Facebook trolling. Now, Ando is nothing if not a steadfastly loyal News Ltd man; he has reason to be, the company spared no expense successfully defending him against spurious charge brought by the DPP over a jail interview almost 20 years ago. But The Pie couldnt help wonder if he wasnt trying to get a subtle message into the editors ear when writing today about Townsvilles landscape of words, waffle and impossible dreams.

Gotta love that line Pep talks are good for morale, but in the end, they start to sound like the boy crying wolf. And that, Ando, described PRECISELY the Bulletin editorial policy. very funny. Clever too, if The Pie is right. Pop in and have a chat to , will you? For all of us. Ghosts Of Iditors Past:Theres A Reason Hes Called Typo Gleeson

Typo Gleeson leaving an unsuccessful job interview as editor of Tailor & Cutter magazine. If you believe Sky Newss squeak fest hosted by Peter Typo Gleeson (sorry, only kidding) you might think David Crisafulli is returning to town for a special job and the head of TEL has changed her name.During the week, ww were treated too a hindenberg of hot air when Lil Patty OCallaghan and state opposition pollie Kid Crisafulli fielded a number of Dorothy Dixers from Typo. But one would think it was Typo in charge of the on-screen titling.

And when they got around to realising their mistake, in typical Typo fashion, they got that wrong too.

And Another Thing .. Best comment of the week goes to the bloke who replied to a totally embarrassing piece of nonesense in the paper about whether we are a friendly city. He suggested that of course we are we even wave to you from the roof of the Cleveland Detention Centre as you drive in from the airport. Luv it! Just what such a space-waste story deserved. Finally Its Been Another week of Wall-To-Wall umm .. Wall And we start with Mexico announcing the obvious

A Final Dad Joke (Well, Worked As A Granddad Joke)

Oh dear sorry. .. Thats it for another week, were off and running for 2019, its promising to be a cracker. There are a wider variety of folks taking to comments of late, keep it up, some are thoughtful, some hilarious, so entertain and be entertained. And if you have anything left over from the festive season, a donation to support The Magpies Nest will be of great assistance, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-massive-difference-between-buy-local-and-local-buy-how-mayor-mullet-has-played-the-townsville-business-community-for-mugs/

[sweetlifetownsville]

The Massive Difference Between 'Buy Local' And 'Local Buy' ... How Mayor Mullet Has Played The Townsville Business Community For Mugs.

Jenny Hill has traded on a trick of language to fool Townsville into thinking she is a champion for local workers and business, when the exact opposite is the case. It all revolves around the Local Government Association of Queenslands business arm called Local Buy and it is a deliberate play on words to line the coffers of the LGAQ. As The Pie reports, this one looks murky indeed. Also, the Townsville Bulletin goes beyond beyond parody, with one of their biggest side-splitting bungles yet and overall, it was a week you couldnt make up unless of course, youre the Bulletin. And is rebel councillor Paul The Angry Ant Jacob shaping up to take on The Mullet well, he may well have delusions of popularity and adequacy for a tilt in 2020 but there will be one powerful group that will try to block him. Also, the funniest comment on a news story this week comes from the most unlikely place and by popular demand, our regular pictorial gallery from Trumpistan. But first The shared thought-fart of the week belongs to One Notions P Hanson and the Katteronics R Katter. No sooner had Hanson quavered tremulously over the radio that people on the dole should be put to work catching cane toads at ten cents a pop, than Katter jumped on this creaky bandwagon and and upped the ante. Bob Katter (right). Columnist James Jeffrey once wrote the Bob uses words like a cliff in Norway uses lemmings, and during the week, the member for Kennedy obliged with proof when he gurgled, giggled, sneered and croaked out his proposal that kids should catch the toads for 40 cents a time and be armed with air rifles to get the job done. It all makes one think that both Hanson and Katter are still smarting from their latest rejection letters from The Mensa Society, but the ever-practical Bentley thinks no matter how the creatures are caught, there might be a bit of a flaw in the idea. Gosh, kids could be recruited under the banner of The Toady Army oh, hang on, maybe not, Townsville City councillors might sue for copyright. Is The LGAQs Nice Little Earner LOCAL BUY Costing Townsville A Motza? Some well credentialed business folks around town at increasingly frustrated with the little-understood Queensland Local Government Associations business arm Buy Local. And on the face of what two well-placed identities have told The Pie, the whole set-up looks ripe for rorts of all sorts, even progressing to very serious corruption unless proper transparency is in place. First this landed in the Nests inbox from a respected and successful Townsville businessman. Just wanted to highlighta program that shows that Mayor Mullet cannot only stuff Townsville as Mayor, she is also doing it as a Director of LGAQ against local businesses who payrent/rates and employ people.Townsville City Council is among those Queensland Local Councils using LGAQ Local Buy to avoid going to tender locally, allowing them toappoint out of town contractors with the LGAQ taking a cut (understood to be 10% of any contract, which of course is just added on to what the cost would otherwise be). Townsville businesses who were previously and successfully supplying services to Council have lost out under this scheme with many being forced to the business and had to put off staff. Any complaints about the dire situation made to Richard The Screaming Midget Beckett (no longer with the council met with threats that they would be locked out of any Council tenders in the future all under the culture from the Impailer and Mayor Mullet . To be an approved Local buy supplier you have to apply and I think pay an amount to be approved and there is a period of 5 years in which other similar other local businesses cant even apply. Momentum for change must be building as this excerpt from a letter from Local Government Minister Stirling Hinchcliffe indicates, after he received a petition complaining about the situation. Also, has anyone questioned the $400k yearly service agreement between T.C.C . and the LGAQ and does the Mullet disclose her Directors fees from LGAQ ? As a LGAQ director, Jenny Hill, pops into her purse $31,000 p.a ta very muchly. Under the circumstances, that could be seen as blood money, since she must know the hardship this state-wide legalised rort is costing Townsvilles well-being. The Nest has received a number of complaints about Local Buy, but until this week, The Pie didnt have a coherent idea of what was happening so to get an independent assessment, The Magpie asked a business professional well versed in both business and LG matters to give this over-view. Given the current climate of spite and uncertainty, the person asked to remain anonymous. Local Buy is flawed in many aspects, even if one were to concede that its creation was well intentioned.Lets give them the benefit of the doubt to start with procurement can be complex and costly. Good procurement practice (eg. due diligence, evaluation requiring technical expertise etc) could be provided as a shared service, so that smaller organisations can in effect benefit from the capabilities of a larger organisation able to hire the appropriately skilled personnel. Theres also the prospect of negotiating better aggregate rates on the basis of aggregated volume. Thats the theory. The reality is that it is nowhere near this. Im not sure about the 5-year protection racket claim, but I do know that getting on the list involves not much more than paying some fees and ticking some boxes. This means a local council is more or less free to then pick and choose from the list, subject to the requirements of the LG Act. Magpie note: This means that the TCC can choose from a list based solely on price, which often means true locals cannot compete. This raises a moral question of whether it is more desirable to pay perhaps a bit more locally and materially contribute to a more vibrant local economy than to simply save some money because outside organisations that make no real contributions to our city. And it is this part of the system that is clearly open to corrupt influences. The Pie knows of none, but its an open invitation to it. Local Buy of course takes a Commission, from memory 10%, from registered suppliers when they win work, so in the end the potential benefits of savings arent materialised. Suppliers actually add the commission in. Theres also real doubt as to whether the Local Buy organisation actually has any real procurement capability. As a result, the tendency is for increasingly standardised or vanilla offerings, because thats the nature of generalised procedures run by people with limited specialisation and knowledge of local requirements or specialist areas eg, technology. Local Buy is a misnomer, of course. It neither compels nor guarantees procurement by a local authority from suppliers located within this authoritys area. Having said that, what goes to constituting local is never actually an easy question to answer, which makes a mockery of the entire buy local trope. One other thing on the Local Buy (and council procurement in general): theres a category called standing offer arrangement. This is basically a set of approved rates for services / products that a council can basically go back to time after time, without going out to tender. In theory, not a bad thing for pencils, paper clips and such like but as is always the case in procurement easily abused or at the very least, mis-used. The Magpie thanks the author for that succinct summary. It would certainly appear that we are being dudded one way or the other, but two things raise the Magpies curiosity: what do we get for our $400k annual contribution to the LGAQ? And noted in hindsight, just as this Local Buy system was being introduced, Mayor Mullet started dropping in the odd buy local slogan the timing appears to havde been there to fool people when they started hearing about local buy. Low level chicanery at its worst, spread about at the very time it now appears the council Jenny Hill heads was doing exactly the opposite. For Jenny Hill to trumpet the buy local cry is the height of hypocrisy, anyway. One of the very first acts she did when first elected mayor was to buy her new mayoral car (a top of the line Holden at around $70-$80,000) IN BRISBANE AND STIFFED THE RATEPAYERS TO HAVE IT SHIPPED HERE. And why was this? Because she had had a previous fight with Tony Ireland of TI Holden about repairs her previous vehicle, which she had mildly pranged into a gutter _ Ireland point blank refused her request to illegally mark it down as an accident insurance claim, which it clearly wasnt. Even although the Ireland company agreed to match the Brisbane price, Jenny Hill went ahead with the Brisbane deal anyway. Shes a sweet piece of work sometimes. So if youre ever thinking if its true that local business people are fearful of spiteful retribution if they disagree with this civic leader, just keep that in mind. And Heres An Interesting Thought Wonder if Local Buy had anything to do with the controversial choice of pipe for the new Burdekin line, and did Local Buytb have anything to do with the pipeline jobs that went to Adelaide in stead of the promised boon to Townsville? Just askin. ya know. Yes The Astonisher Has Gone Beyond Parody The satirists lot is not a happy one lately. I mean, how do you make fun of something like the Bulletin that is so unintentionally crazy-funny to start with? Is this a secret plot to spike The Magpies guns? Last Tuesday, this appeared on page 16 as the editorial page of the Townsville Bulletin. This is a stupendous blunder in a Townsville publication, that through their typical technical ineptness, the hard copy paper had published THE CAIRNS POST EDITORIAL PAGE the community voice (supposedly) of any newspaper. The editorial was of bugger all interest here, as well as being pretty stupid, anyway. It even had the Cairns deputy iditor signing it under the Townsville Bulletin masthead. There was a time when this bit of prize fuckwittery wouldve caused an uproar, given the sensitive feelings between the two cities, but it appears weve been bludgeoned into not caring about the Bulletin anyway. Honestly, if it were not for the circle-jerk leadership of this city, the mayor and the head of Townsville Enterprise would be so incensed by this particular A community without a responsible newspaper is like a beautiful woman with only one eye (apologies to Brillat-Savarin). But still the harmless laughs kept coming. There was this story which included this quote from one of the ladies of the night about southern blow-in blow-job competition on the streets: Theres false advertising, they send out a photo of a really hot looking chick and when they get there its some frumpy number. The girls have had a gutful of it This has been brewing for ages. Yknow, Thd Magpie thinks the lady might have a point. What sort of deceptive, conniving, immoral low-life would stoop to such trickery. Bet it would never happen in the Townsville Bulletin, would it? Huh, what? oh, oops. But even when credibility-destroying cock-ups are right before their eyes, they still get into the paper. One should feel sorry for a decent old-time journo like Tony Raggatt, having his pic plastered between these clearly conflicting claims (the list clearly being nothing to with him). But The Astonisher makes it easy to err take the piss. This reeks of wreaking havoc on the language. Is The Angry Ant About To Up The Ante? Paul Jacob Paul Jacob knows a cushy number when he sees one he is after all a Townsville City councillor. But it would seem our man is a tad more ambitious. The Ant broke ranks against Mayor Mullets Adani airstrip rort, conveniently just before he made an abortive run for state as a Labor-aligned but not endorsed candidate. Ever since, he has been regarded as a rebel ever since among the council sheeple and certainly by head shepherd Jennifer. So when he was front-paged in todays Astonisher calling for an easing of water restrictions, many a pundit including The Pie, immediately assumed this was the signal for a Jacob joust for the top office in Walker Street. And that will be tricky. Unless Mayor Mullet abdicates and retires to malta, or runs on a Labor senate ticket her dearest wish but said not be shared by those who could make it so Clr Jacob will come under some intense pressure and even be flattered with promises of future glory by the Labor Party. Because despite her simpering shy denials of being a Labor mayor, Jenny Hill is, and is seen as, just that, and mainly by Labor itself. The party back room boys reckon mayor is as far as shes going, so they wouldnt rock what they see as a returnable vote boat in local government in March 2020. They know poor old Dolan Hayes will need Ashley and Martin soon with all the hair-tearing last thing the already beleaguered mayor needs is a Labor split ticket. But trust the Bulletin to come galumphing on to this particular scene with a few editorial bromides, but the best being this hilarious piece of total unselfawareness in an iditorial, which clearly is not Astonisher editorial policy. Take your own advice, dearie. But Does The Pie Detect A Sly Dissension In The Senior Ranks At The Paper? Although The Pie doubts the feeling is mutual, he has great respect for the old-style work and values of John Ando Anderson he offers a very readable weekly service to the valuable rural readership of the paper, which clearly involves actual field work, and not just a few phone calls or, heaven forbid, lazy Facebook trolling. Now, Ando is nothing if not a steadfastly loyal News Ltd man; he has reason to be, the company spared no expense successfully defending him against spurious charge brought by the DPP over a jail interview almost 20 years ago. But The Pie couldnt help wonder if he wasnt trying to get a subtle message into the editors ear when writing today about Townsvilles landscape of words, waffle and impossible dreams. Gotta love that line Pep talks are good for morale, but in the end, they start to sound like the boy crying wolf. And that, Ando, described PRECISELY the Bulletin editorial policy. very funny. Clever too, if The Pie is right. Pop in and have a chat to , will you? For all of us. Ghosts Of Iditors Past:Theres A Reason Hes Called Typo Gleeson Typo Gleeson leaving an unsuccessful job interview as editor of Tailor & Cutter magazine. If you believe Sky Newss squeak fest hosted by Peter Typo Gleeson (sorry, only kidding) you might think David Crisafulli is returning to town for a special job and the head of TEL has changed her name.During the week, ww were treated too a hindenberg of hot air when Lil Patty OCallaghan and state opposition pollie Kid Crisafulli fielded a number of Dorothy Dixers from Typo. But one would think it was Typo in charge of the on-screen titling. And when they got around to realising their mistake, in typical Typo fashion, they got that wrong too. And Another Thing .. Best comment of the week goes to the bloke who replied to a totally embarrassing piece of nonesense in the paper about whether we are a friendly city. He suggested that of course we are we even wave to you from the roof of the Cleveland Detention Centre as you drive in from the airport. Luv it! Just what such a space-waste story deserved. Finally Its Been Another week of Wall-To-Wall umm .. Wall And we start with Mexico announcing the obvious A Final Dad Joke (Well, Worked As A Granddad Joke) Oh dear sorry. .. Thats it for another week, were off and running for 2019, its promising to be a cracker. There are a wider variety of folks taking to comments of late, keep it up, some are thoughtful, some hilarious, so entertain and be entertained. And if you have anything left over from the festive season, a donation to support The Magpies Nest will be of great assistance, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-massive-difference-between-buy-local-and-local-buy-how-mayor-mullet-has-played-the-townsville-business-community-for-mugs/