#im glad im typing this out bc it really was so fucked up & i have no good reason to miss someone like that

[vanyafresita]

actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems

[iindigenize]

porque de repente extrano tanto de la toxica?

[saintshigaraki]

please, if you have the time and/or are feeling generous, please expand on that horror soulmate ran idea where he likes flexing his influence and power over you while you’re on shift….what kind of restaurant does reader work at? is the high-end kind where customers who look as rich and charming as ran come often…..or is it some regular diner/local favorite and ran likes coming over to call you sweetheart and darling and he likes tipping you $50-$100 bills………………………..he tips bigger and orders so much when he brings some work associates over during their lunch break or something 0_0

dior im so glad you ask bc I've been ruminating over these very questions for like a month....

yandere tw, ran is harassing the shit out of you at work rip, soulmate au, she/her pronouns for reader

i think you work at a really small rundown sort of place open 24 hours. pulling 12-hour shifts 12 days in a row just to pay the bills. it's pure and total chance that ran and his...associates waltz into your establishment. it's late and you're so so exhausted. you absolutely do not like the look of them. they're dressed nicely, too nicely for a place like this and they don't even bother trying to hide the guns peaking out from their waistbands. and beyond that you can smell it on them. you know their type. the type that get too handsy, that hold their tips over your head. make you do a song and dance and for what? the two dollars they'll so generously leave you when all is said and done? it's a fucking joke and you hate them all before they've even said a word to you.

your feet hurt so badly that you're limping a bit when you go to greet them and the smile you put on feels carved into your cheeks, throbbing like a wound. all their faces look the same to you. a big blur of dangerous man after man after man. you write down their orders without really listening. you want this over as fast as possible. you were set to be off in an hour, but with a group this big, you know that's now nothing but a pipe dream. god you're so so tired--

"and what is it you'd recommend, darling?"

something about the voice makes your eyes shoot up. airy, smooth, and nonchalant in a way that makes you grind your teeth and reluctantly pulls your attention. there's a nauseating sort of authority in it that has your hackles raised.

you're a bit shocked when you see who has spoken. he's pretty. long hair, obviously well kept, a tattoo on the side of his neck that makes you rather nervous, but it's his eyes that makes you step back. you feel the shift in the air when your gaze meets his, a crackling energy, two halves being made whole and all the other sappy shit people say when describing their first meeting with their soulmate.

no one mentions how scary it is, though. it's like you've lost a limb. or gained a parasite. you swear you can feel him in the back of your skull, already eating away at you. you don't want this. you don't want this. take it back you almost say aloud. please please take it back.

the man (your soulmate?) doesn't say a word. there's a slight quirk on his lips, but that could be anything. could mean anything.

you take a breath. you're tired—very tired—and now you're imagining things—delusional. your heartbeat slows. everything's fine. it's fine.

"ah ran, you've left the poor thing starstruck," a man to his right says, jostling him a bit.

the man—ran—tilts his head, still waiting, rather patiently, for a reply from his apparently airheaded waitress, struck down by his pretty face.

it's rather scary, being the sole focus of his attention. it's as though he's flaying your skin from your flesh, leaving you defenseless. like you're nothing but a young girl again, alone and cold and hopeless beneath his eyes.

it takes you too long to gather your wits. "the omelets are okay, good for a cold night." you just barely manage to keep the trembling from your voice, a shrillness that would in any way reveal your fear.

he smiles now, a real one. and it scares you. so amused by you, his little shaking waitress. "just okay?" he asks, taking pleasure in teasing you no doubt.

"this isn't a place you come to if you're looking for something gourmet." better to be honest than to get their hopes up. you can smell the money on them.

he laughs and you have to bite back your tears, you really dont like him. there's terror worming it's way beneath your skin. "it was a last resort, i'll go with the omelet, darling."

+

when you bring out their food you assume that will be it, at least for a little while. you'll refill their drinks again and again and again and pray they'll be gone by 2, but the worst of it is done. you'll hide in the back for the most part until they're gone. it'll be fine.

your hopes are quite quickly dashed once you set ran's food in front of him, avoiding eye contact but unable to keep the tremor from your fingers. before you can dart away his hand lashes out, forming a shackle around your wrist. tugging you far closer to him than you'd ever want to be. 

"why don't you join us for a bit. you seem tired. perhaps you're a bit hungry too?" he asks it like a question, but you know it's not. he has that sort of authority about him that lets you know he's used to be listened to. used to giving out orders and having them followed. you don't like it, and you make excuses even though you know it'll bode badly for you.

"i can't sir, i'm so sorry, but im still working and my boss will be--"

he cuts you off quickly and uncaring. "he won't mind."

he most definitely would, you think. your boss reminds you of ran a bit, in the way that he likes to exert power over others. quick to insult you, quick to admonish and threaten. he most definitely would care if he saw you sitting with some customers, even if the rest of the place was deserted.

"sir," you start again, "i could be fired please--"

"what's his name?"

you're taken aback. a bit confused, too. "your boss, darling. what's his name?"

there's a long pause before you say anything at all.

"hikaru," you tell him at last.

he smiles at you, tugs you in even closer. "thank you."

he smells good, you think absently. expensive. 

"hikaru!" he yells suddenly, causing you to practically jump out of your skin. your boss is quick to appear, looking like a beat dog. he seems to recognize ran, and he seems to be scared of him and you really, really don't like that.

"is there something i can help you with, sir?" he asks, timid as a mouse. your heart stops. there's something wrong here, you think. there's something very wrong and it's too late. its too late.

you're sitting beside ran now, his arm wrapped around you and his hand rubbing your shaking shoulder soothingly. "you wouldn't mind if she joined us, would you? we could use the company."

your boss' eyes flit over to you, just barely, before he bows his head again. "of course not, sir. it's no problem at all."

ran turns to you at that. "you hear that, darling. no problem at all." you look down and can't help but notice drops of red marring the pristine white of his dress shirt. it's right on the cuff. it's dried now, more brown than anything else but you recognize it for what it is.

you can't help but think you've stepped into a bear trap of sorts, and now your foot has been cut clean off. you’re screaming and screaming, trying to staunch the bleeding and ran won’t stop smiling. 

[tryingtofindava]

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄

THE UNREALISTIC VERSION FOR THE DELUSIONAL GIRLYS

: ̗̀➛Back to source

Most definitely broke into your apartment with full hostile intentions of ‘putting you to sleep.’

Lmao

That didn’t happen.

When he broke in, you were so chill about it. Like- most people would be screaming n’ crying right about now.

He almost got convinced that it was a normal thing for you, murderers breaking into your apartment.

You sprayed Febreze in his eyes and he left.

Anywho, he can’t explain the exact reason why he’s became so interested in you.

You were just different.

But like, not in the ‘IM SO DIFFERENT’ way.

But don’t be too glad he let you live.

Bcs I swear this mf be following you about. Picking apart your entire being to see if you’re worth sparing. Which you were!!

You two most definitely started out with just being friends, he’s living with you rent free basically.

You fell first, he fell harder sorta thing going on.

When you two actually started dating. He was obsessed with you. Literally.

You gave him a key to your apartment so he didn’t have to use the window anymore.

That didn’t stop him. He still just uses your bedroom window.

Don’t question him about it though, he’s odd.

Won’t ever admit it, but he LOVES when you play with his hair.

Speaking of hair, if you have a pony tail in. He will 100% pull on it. GENTLY OFC!! He only tugs your hair hard when you’re sucking his-

Anywho.

He also likes scaring you out of nowhere. So be careful when you think you’re alone, you’re probably not.

He makes it very, very clear that you’re his. Tbh he thinks he has some sorta ownership over you.

His mouth scars are like, so, so infected. Every time they start to heal again he recuts them. So the chances are he probably leaves you to clean them.

This edge lord is a ass guy.

Like he slaps your ass randomly and if you even show any signs of annoyance, it makes him feel like he’s accomplished smth.

He’s got a god complex, make what you want with that information.

If he catches you staring OMD HE’LL GET SO COCKY.

“Like what you see, doll?”

You’ll never hear the end of it.

He’s not a big fan and of going out during the day he’s a nighttime type of dude, or in overly crowded or noisy places since he’s easily irritated, so dates aren’t really on the table for him.

And he’s not very normal looking… at least he’s hot.

But he’ll get you stuff! (he probably stole it.)

But it’s the thought that counts…!

He likes listening to your heartbeat. He likes knowing you are alive. (Again, don’t ask he’s odd.)

Mf loves winding you up, teasing you, random light touches. Anything to get you going really.

But he’ll get so pissy if you do the same thing to him.

His skin is CRUSTY. teach him about the wonders of moisturiser. I beg you.

He will randomly get very emotional, comfort him. Or try to if he lets you get close to him.

One time you woke up to him just staring at you. That was pretty fucking creepy.

But not surprising.

I mean, this dude literally stalks you n’ shit. To make sure you’re okay :)

You give him the affection and validation he craves. He’ll do anything to make sure that you’re alright.

He can’t lose you.

Not yet.

He’s still a serial killer, so he probably ups and leaves for a few days and when he comes back he won’t tell you shit. (Even though it’s really painfully obvious what he’s been up to.)

The relationship is probably a bitty toxic. He’s probably gaslit you AT LEAST once or twice.

He’s an obsessive sadist.

When he wants something, he’s gonna get it.

The relationship is about him. Him and his needs.

He still loves you dearly. But not like the normal person. He has his… own ways of showing his love.

If you could even call it that.

But he’s not below killing you if he has to.

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•

[fcthots]

okay maybe nottttt the exact type of jason content you’re writing but i do really just need jason loving a curvy reader so good bc she’s having a bad body dysmorphia day

Ok im going for a more hc approach to this to keep it geared towards a more broad audience as I have to be able to relate to be able to write it. also I rlly just wanted to try out this format lol

ok so its date night and Jason looks fucking HOT

and you really wanna give him a treat. You wanna look good for him!

You want him to look at you and think "Wow! I'm so lucky! I'm so glad I found you."

You try on a dress that you think will look cute

It... doesn’t look like you thought it would

oh well. you'll just try another even though you were really planning on the first one

So you try the next one and that one doesn’t look right either

you try on the third outfit and you're starting to think maybe you're the problem

you know you're late but maybe if you find that outfit, he’ll think you're so pretty that it'll be ok. He'll think you're so beautiful that he'll forgive you. You just have to be pretty enough.

You just have to try to deserve forgiveness. You just have to try to deserve a fraction of all of the amazing love he gives you.

And that's how Jason finds you 30 minutes later, naked on the floor of your apartment surrounded by probably 14 different outfits

He sits down criss-cross next to you

"thought I'd find you in here. I got worried when you didn’t show up at my apartment. thought I had the wrong day at first."

you don’t even respond or look at him. you don’t think you can. you have no excuse

He does it for you. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

You lean up, grab your blanket off the bed, and put it over your entire body, including your face

you hear him sigh and move closer to you before he moves the blanket away from your face

"please tell me? please."

You cave and tell him everything. He sets his jaw and listens.

you finish talking and it takes him a full minute before he speaks.

"We'll circle back to some things later, but I got you a present. I wanted you to wear it tonight. Also got some stuff I thought we could use tonight. You wanna see it?"

You nod your head, more confused than anything else. He comes back in two minutes later with a bag he tosses at you.

You open it

It's pajamas

Not lingerene

Pajamas like a giant shark onesie

you look at what else is in the bag

its a Shrek dvd

He speaks again. "I think we definitely need to watch Shrek tonight. in our matching shark onesies."

You don’t know what to say

but he does

"I'm with you because I love you and I like you. Every inch of you. I think you're smart and funny and amazing. And I also think you're sexy and gorgeous and beautiful. I can't change the way that you think. But will you at least believe me when I say that in my eyes you are the most beautiful woman on the planet?"

You pretend you're not actively crying "I think it would do me some good to watch Shrek"

He laughs and helps you up.

[lokissweater]

dudeee I fear megumi begging got me riled up!!!! is it possible to have sub!megumi x dom!reader anytime soon 😎😎 I LOVE IT SO MUCHHH BTWWW U ALWAYS DEVOUR WITH UR WRITING IM GONNA CRY. I JUST NOTICED HOW MEGUMI IS LITERALLY SOOOOOO IN LOVE WITH HER LIKE HOW DO I EVEN EXPLAIN DUDE. IDK BROOO I LOVE HOW THEY'RE SO INTO EACH OTHER LIKE MATCHING THEIR FREAKS AND ALLATTTT I WANT ITTTTTT:((((.

IT WAS WORTH WAITING FOR ALMOST A MONTH FOR THE MLBMEGUMI4. HOPEFULLY IT DOESN'T GO AS FAR CUZ DAWGGG IM LEGIT IN LOVE WITH MLB!MEGUMI. 😭😭🙏🙏 nah don't even play I'm not even a BIG megumi fan but your writing is so good it got me hooked! 💋💋 PLEASEEE TAKE MY LIVER KIDNEY TYPE SHIT I WANT AN MLB!MEGUMI 5 SOONNNNN AAAAAAAA SCREAMINGGGG 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

just an idea tho if you dont have anything yet.. I was thinking how megumi already ate y/n out but she never yk... gave him head AT LEAST NOT WRITTEN YET, they probably did it already BUT DAMNN I WANT MEGUMI TO BE WHINYYY CUZ IK READER GON TEASE HIMMMM. yk how november is coming too??? yk what THAT means 🔥🔥 NO NUT NOVEMBER!!!

^^^^^ alright as I WAS THINKING WHAT IF READER ASKS MEGUMI TO JOIN THE NNN YKKKKK??? AND HE'S LIKE CONFUSED AND AGREED WHATSOEVER BUT THEN NOT EVEN A HALF WEEK YET HE'S ALREADY GOING WEAAAAAAKKKK CUZ OF HOW MUCH READER IS TEASING HIM LIKE SEDUCING HIM AND SHIT.

just an idea thooo!!!! the plot is totally yours to dooo ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Btw I'm glad youre back now! I was really worried you weren't saying anything 🥹🥹🥹 I MISSED U AND UR REPLIES TO UR ASKSSS NICOLEEEE DONT DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT EVER AGAIKNNN

- O⁠_⁠o

BROOOOOO WRITING BEGGING MEGUMI LIKE THAT MADE MY BRAIN SHORT CIRCUIT I FEAAAARRRR !!!!! i love me a crying begging desperate man and 🫦🫦🫦 WHERE THEY AT?!? WHERE IS MEGUMI IRL ?!? IM GETTING SICK AND TIRED AND TWISTED WAITING !!!

BUT I KNOOOOOWWWWW the pure unadulterated love that mlb!megumi has for reader is ACTUALLY NUUUTTTSSSSSS it’s so beautiful and fluffy FUCK ima need me some of that be for real rn 😻😻😻🫶🫶🫶

IM SOOOOO HAPPY YOU LOVED IT OH MY GOD NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN THAAATTT AND IM ACTUALLY CRYING U R SOO FUNNNYYYYY all i need is a smooch that’s it !! 😝😝🫵 AND I KNOW IT WAS A WHILE i try to release his series after three other fics bc i don’t wanna just keep writing him back to back i wanna make him last !!! 🥹🥹💕💕💕

THE IMMMMAAAAGGGEEEE YOU JUST PLANTED IN MY HEAD I AM CHEWING AT MY WALLS AND DIGESTING WHITE PAINT AS A RESULT !!!! I SWEAR TO GOD i’m putting whiny megumi again in the next one with a big ol BJ from reader and that’s that i need it I NEEEDDDD IT

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN THIS WAS SUCH A TREEEAATTT YOUUU ARE A TREEAATTT AND IM SOOO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING LIKE THAT I SWEAR I WILL NEVA DO IT AGAIN !!! 🥹💕💕 thank you for worrying about me i love you 🥹🥹💕💕💕

MWAAAHHHHH HAVE A GOOD DAAAYYY !!!

[lizzyaka]

Man I love the secret history. But like... it's so strange that people can't love a book and also be horrified??? The characters make me sick to my stomach. I wish ppl would talk more about how Julian is perhaps the most dangerous out of all of them. They all already have issues, mostly from being insulated from real life bc of wealth + the aimlessness that comes from that, but they didn't HAVE to end up like that. Obviously they all played their parts and are Fucked Up.

At the same time Julian... scares me honestly. The others don't really scare me except maybe for Henry. He SEES how fucked up these kids are. And encourages them to be even worse. As their teacher, their only teacher. It's a cult!!! Ironically that French teacher at the beginning was completely right; it's chilling how much Julian isolates them, how deeply fucking elitist he is, how he molds and shapes all of them into his personal vision??? The almost god-like way they look at him?? His reaction to hunting for Bunny and comparing it to a Dostoyevsky novel. He doesn't care that they killed anyone! He just cares that he found them out, or that they didn't tell him. I can also never figure out if he slept with Henry or not. Idk there's just something about Julian that is deeply, deeply inhuman. While all the group is deeply fucked up, I think there's another level of evil to be an authority figure and to encourage that behavior. There is no way he didn't know they were all alcoholics or about Charles and Camilla. Interestingly, Richard observes him accurately before his judgment is clouded by endearment, that Julian seems nice but is incredibly manipulative, and that there is nothing behind his eyes. Bunny is easy to hate, he's a schoolyard bully. Julian is the type to encourage his student to stand up to him when he knows they'll lose, and gently persuade them that it's a lesson about the futility of fighting inevitable hierarchies. He makes my skin crawl. I love this fucking book.

I agree with everything you said and i think you worded it all so perfectly!

I dont like to blame everything on julian bc at the end of the day the class were grown adults and i cant standdd when people baby them but julian IS responsible for much of their behavior. The way i see it these were people who were always very isolated and as a defense mechanism they probably further alienated themselves by blaming it on their superiority (like, its not that i dont fit in bc im weird or different in a negative way but rather that im too intelligent and too special for everyone else) and julian only encouraged this mindset and not only endorsed their psychological estrangement from society but also PHYSICALLY isolated them. So this obviously is the main cause for them being so horrifyingly out of touch with reality which led them to commit murder so easily among other things (incest,suicide.....)

And about julian and henry having an affair IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP BC IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT THISSSS

I recently read this article called the secret oral history of Bennington which ill link (bennington is the college donna tartt went to that inspired hampden, as well as other authors such as bret easton ellis who btw is whom the secret history is dedicated to) and please i urge you to read it bc its fascinating. It doesnt focus solely on donna but it does talk a lot about her and gives so much insight into what inspired the secret history. did you know most characters are based on real people? This includes henry and julian. One of the things that stood out to me about the article was how common student-teacher relationships were in bennington and it reminded me of henry and julian and how i originally dismissed the idea of them being involved, but that it would make sense knowing that. AND IN FACTTT the man julian is based on WAS gay and notoriously pursued inappropriate relationships with a lot of his male students. So do with that information what you will but personally i do think they were sleeping together

[atopvisenyashill]

seeing how some greens act like rhaenyra being groomed by her uncle, and subsequently being unable to let go of him, is HER personal failure turned me into a rhaenyra extremist when i simply enjoyed her character beforehand.

im really glad you're speaking about it because even though it's fiction, it still perpetuates a very dangerous rhetoric

wait this gives me an excuse to ramble, pls excuse me if i phrase things maybe a little crassly here, it’s a delicate topic i’m speaking indelicately about but also, i think i should be allowed bc [redacted] BUT-

obviously i don’t like, love, some of the changes to the show but i think the first half does a great job of setting it up to where you can see both alicent and rhaenyra are surrounded exclusively by much older men who want to fuck them, and have just no way of knowing who is being genuine with them. because no one is really! so you have episode 4, where alicent is sleeping in a room with pornographic art on the wall and being called to her husband’s bed and she can’t say no, and he’s not going to do anything to make the whole thing even marginally easier for her. and then you have rhaenyra, pulled from her bed by her uncle to a brothel, and she’s completely exposed, and she’s experiencing new things, and he’s purposefully trying to make this feel good but also overwhelming for her, then abandons her drunk & confused & half naked. this is The Same Thing - they’re both being used and manipulated by a much older man, but because that manipulation looks different, they react different. but it’s still manipulation.

yes, the type of abuse is different when it’s like, your ugly ancient grandpa grooming you vs a handsome 30 year old stranger you met online that you tell all your high school friends is your boyfriend, but ultimately, both the grandpa and the 30 year old boyfriend are abusers but more importantly, the granddaughter and the high schooler are both victims!!! i think a lot of people when analyzing this whole thing, will pin daemon as a groomer but then completely forget that this also makes rhaenyra a victim. some people will even hee hee haw haw over it because “oh your feminist icon would rather marry her groomer uncle than her gay cousin in the book” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. could it possibly be that rhaenyra prefers daemon to laenor because daemon has manipulated her into thinking she is only free with him? she is only safe with him?? could it possibly be that he has been giving her gifts and taking physical liberties with her for her whole life, and being the Good Cop, Sweet Confidant to her parents Bad Cop her whole life, that she feels taken in by him because he is all she knows???? in the same vein that alicent just swallows all the poison and bullshit from otto because that’s her father, and his protection is all she knows????

honestly part of like ~the discourse~ that’s most frustrating is that most greens just refuse to see rhaenyra’s pov or see that she’s also a grooming victim grasping for power to protect her own children, again just like alicent, but on the flip side, most of the analysis from the blacks side is like “if you think nyra is a victim of grooming you are just as bad as the people calling her a whore for having children out of wedlock” and like, how do you even engage with that. with either of those opinions. you can’t wksjd so if youre, ya know, like a normal fucking person who can see how both girls are being manipulated, but you have like a fondness for nyra specifically, it’s just constant bad takes. there’s nowhere to go to escape the bad takes.

i thought we had already hashed out this idea that being aware or unaware of your victimhood doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not being oppressed during the main show with arya and sansa but no, we’ve actually just taken this exact same annoying fandom discourse about which teenage girl is dealing with being abused in the most acceptable way and made it a thousand times worse.

[raineyana]

What is your normal grocery list? I’m about to be living at a dorm and I am looking for stuff to stock up on, I can’t really keep frozen foods though

i actually dont even cook all that much so i dont keep a lot of frozen foods either. this is my regular list when i go, usually weekly.

FASTING FOODS

okay so youre probably like. raine you arent supposed to eat anything when you fast. hear me out bc this is how i consistently fast a 20-4 schedule everyday, with a lot less binges than before, AND getting all of the benefits of fasting. and yeah, i still binge from time to time, but my binges are far less because my stomach actually cannot handle being fed over 1000 calories anymore, especially not all at once.

these are my ESSENTIALS so theyre pretty much the only things i consistently buy weekly.

cucumbers

chicken broth (0cal kind)

seaweed snacks

pickled ginger

tea (any, but i like trying new flavors ! my favorite is lemon ginger because it helps digestion, and green tea because it speeds up your metabolism. also a lot healthier than diet coke with the same amount of caffeine, also less likely to spike your blood sugar and kick you out of ketosis- which will make your cravings for food much worse)

...dont get me wrong i couldnt live without diet coke. but sometimes ill go for the healthier option.

why i eat these foods while i fast

these are foods that have extremely low cals and carbs (like less than 2 grams per/serving) so they wont kick you out of ketosis (which is the major benefit to fasting, where your body burns fat at a higher rate). when youre in ketosis, your body stops sending you as many cravings, which is why sometimes it feels easier to fast 24 hours after you last ate as opposed to 3 hours.

because i spend the majority of my time fasting, (and i would never be able to do that without these foods) i go through these items pretty quick.

but otherwise i only have to buy other healthy foods on a biweekly or even monthly basis, because i wont eat them as fast ! heres some things i rotate through depending on how sick of them i am lol.

regular food

built bars - essential for me. tons of protein, less sugar than other bars, and relatively low cal.

somebody on here introduced me to these and im soo glad they did. i dont remember who but if youre seeing this ilysm.

tuna creations packets - rly good for on the go, tons of flavors, lots of protein so they're really filling for only being 70-90cals depending on the flavor

blueberries + apples - so hard to over eat these two items, plus fiber

rice cakes - self explanatory

pistachios or sunflower seeds - great for curbing hunger, but im a little sick of them rn

a low cal air popped popcorn - i forget which brand i have rn, but its pretty good and has a lot of fiber.

chobani yogurt + yogurt protein drinks (50cal) - the fact that these r 50cals amaze me for how good they taste. the yogurt drinks are my favorite bc theres actually a shit ton of protein and taste pretty good without actually having to make myself a protein shake. the cookies and cream and peaches and cream are my favorites ive tried. good for breaking a fast with.

thats all i can think of atm ! sry for the fucking essay i hope this was a little helpful at least.

typing this out manically made me realize im a little crazy. i cant say with my whole chest that you should listen to me and my d1sordered thoughts, but i think everyone on here knows that already so... uh

please be kind to yourselves. take ur vitamins (even while fasting) i genuinely love you all every one of you fucked up bitches like me.

goodnight <3

[royposting]

i feel like im missing out so tell me about roy harper's abandonment issues (for educational purposes, obviously)

WELL i am glad you asked, i hope the following rant is satisfactory!! this is more ~vibes~ based than evidence based honestly so bear with me.

the thing about roy as a character when he is written well is that he is quite a subtle character; this is partially bc DC never really gave a shit about him honestly. meaning, a lot of what we can gather about him as a character (&person) comes from drawing logical conclusions from canonical events.

for example in my previous roy thesis where i discussed how logically his heroin addiction should be treated story wise compared to what we get.

so:

roy was very little when his father died (depending on which version of events you follow, he sometimes has a mother, sometimes he is a bit older, etc. i personally like devin graysons run for arsenal mini&will use that to base my canon on) and was taken in by the navajo tribe.

then, again depending on your canon, brave bow (his mentor&father figure at this point in time) either hands him off to ollie, or roy himself decides to leave. what we do know is that brave bow got sick and passed away shortly after ollie took roy in. meaning that is two father figures down before the age of 13. his time with the navajo was difficult as well, as he never really fit in, and would be told as such.

he idolised ollie; things obviously didnt turn out great in that regard for him. i dont like to consider ollie a TERRIBLE person, even back then, but he certainly wasnt looking to be the safe father figure this little boy so desperately needed and wanted more than anything.

a lot of it is, of course, that roy wasnt ever a popular character really, but looking at the older (pre new earth) canon, ollie wasnt really home a lot, didnt bring roy with him a lot, and honestly didnt seem to give many shits about him. leaving us with the image of this young boy left alone most of the time, without a proper place in the world.

he was honestly more of a teen titans character than a green arrow one, back then.

then ollie sets off with hal for a year: he doesnt even mention roy in GL/GA #1 when they decide to head out.

he starts messing with drugs around this time. like, how abandoned and lonely does a young person have to be to start shooting heroin? TT break up around this time, too, and donna breaks up with him, dick goes off to college - he is all alone, once again.

again, we have to imagine what fucked up mindset someone has to be in for all of this to happen. how insanely isolated and lonely he has to be to not call his friends and say hes struggling - he feels completely abandoned by everyone in his life.

then ollie punches him in the face and throws him to the street.

later on, left out of the roster of the NTT. we learn when we see him in NTT (vol 01 #27) that hes trying to build a life for himself. he doesnt do much vigilante stuff anymore.

he gets back into it, eventually, but until then, he keeps getting left behind: never good enough for anyone to take seriously nor stick around for. everyone always has too much other stuff, while he doesnt really.

he even fucking reconnects back with ollie like immediately before ollie dies lmao. which is honestly kind of funny in retrospect but ya know.

anyway he eventually gets back into things, becomes a dad, reconnects with his old friends. even joins the JLA. however there is always that layer of hurt over everything he does that just GETS to me ya know? like.

he is sometimes written in a way that i fucking hate where they essentially make him a chauvinist johnny bravo type dude who hits on teenage girls etc. i do not consider this canon. however we DO get a nice explanation for this in titans: secret files and origins (#1) where its essentially considered a front he puts on - similar in a way to how ollie tends to make jokes and be sarcastic when hes feeling insecure.

he tends to do this when cornered with his insecurities. he is so convinced that everyone he loves will leave him that he pushes them away first - ripping that band aid off before they get the chance to. if he acts horribly, noone will want to get close, leaving no room for him to get abandoned again.

yet he tries so, so hard to hold onto those he loves - consider, like, all of outsiders vol 03. consider how he, too, lost his best friend when donna died, but how he puts all of his own grief aside to help keep dick off that ledge. consider how part of his grief that lead to him joining slade in titans vol 02 (#26-38) is that he thought he was irredeemable after the events of rise of arsenal - he thought he had noone and nothing left.

i dont think much of his current issues are necessarily rooted in FACT - ollie (and debatably depending on your canon, brave bow) certainly did abandon him, leaving deep scars. but those are also what he bases his thoughts on his relationships on - this deep seated idea that he CANNOT be loved and wanted for himself and what he is (the romance with hawkgirl of all people certainly didnt help).

it doesnt matter that his friends and coworkers love and value him - we have to imagine the lens that he looks at his life and relationships through. personally id believe it if you said that his relationship to his daughter, lian, was the only one he ever trusted fully in his life - but he still feels like he failed her, that its his fault that she died, and he wonders constantly if he ever was good enough for her.

idk man this is a bible and SOOOO ranty but i care so so so much about him 🥺 and again this is vibes mostly - almost no writers actually give a shit about him so they dont leave space to actually sit and consider how he WOULD feel about these things. so this is just my interpretation. it shines through at times when you have a writer who is interested in him (such as judd winick, or devin grayson in the batman+arsenal mini) but usually they just pretend like his traumas wouldnt affect him at all. and i take issue with that.

[determinate-negation]

im not jewish myself so i could be very wrong, but the current situation in palestine and gaza and israel seems like itll be bad for jewish people and antisemitism the world over. it seems like a lot of antisemites could use the world's response to israel as an excuse for antisemitism/"proof" that jews control the world or something. furthermore, israel calling anti-israel/anti-zionism stuff antisemetic i think could confuse well meaning but ignorant people on what is or isnt antisemetic. also, it seems that some people (mainly tumblr bloggers cause thats the only social media site i use (unless youtube is social media)) are using it as an excuse to be antisemitic while pretending to be propalestine.

wanted to hear your thoughts on it cause afaik your jewish and im like 90 percent sure youve talked about something like this before, if you dont mind.

ive been making and reblogging a few posts about this that generally sum up what i think because yeah

this is just actually so awful. we do not need to ontologically define our safety and identity and very existence in relation to a genocidal ethno nationalist state that is being propped up by the forces of american imperialism. it is so morally wrong and were choosing to side with an oppressor that doesnt actually have any commitment to us and supports israel for political economic and strategic reasons, rather than siding with oppressed people. also israel and pro israel organizations puts a lot of effort into redefining criticism of israel as antisemitism, and you can see reflected in everything the ADL puts out (more info here) and also the IRHA working definition of antisemitism that has been critiqued for this. i havent seen any antisemitism on tumblr in particular, but i think thats just bc of who i follow. in general the the radical right always is quick to capitalize off of how tightly controlled news on israel is and the left needs to have the real analysis. i also have seen instances of increased antisemitic attacks, in tunisia, france, and germany, and its really terrible but im glad at least to see a lot of organizations and popular pro palestine people denounce it and tell people that jews arent equivalent with zionists and this isnt a religious conflict, SOMETHING THAT ISRAEL IS ESSENTIALLY ARGUING THE OPPOSITE OF by the way. the us government and us media's relationship with israel is literally dangerous to us. but also, israeli politicians have connections to european neo nazis and shit. they benefit from jews in the diaspora feeling unsafe and being persecuted because it means people are more likely to settle in israel

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 431 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Sorry for the late post, I had no idea that I was going to be a bit busy today. 🙏🏽 BUT GOD, THE SUSPENSE WAS KILLING ME FROM THE LAST CHAPTER. LET’S SEE WHO THE NEWEST MEMBER IS… 👀

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫

AND LOOK AT HIM, WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES AS TAESOO MA!!!! 😳 I think it was pretty obvious because Daniel Park did say that they’ll meet each other again.

HE’S EVEN WEARING THE SAME COAT AS TAESOO MA!!! And THAT’S the reason why he decided to join? Understandable. Eli Jang will eventually get his wake up call in the future. 😬

I miss this type of interaction between Jay and Daniel. It reminds me of the older Lookism chapters when they used to go to school and Daniel used to be the mediator. I’m just glad that we get to see Jay and Daniel together again, regardless if it’s Daniel in his OG body. 😭💞

OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH, THE BADASSES ARE IN BUSINESS. ALL IN ONE CREW. 😎✨

ZACK BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THIS HAD ME LMAAAAOOOOOO WHAT A MOOD.

BRUH. THESE PANELS OF SAMUEL BEING AN INSANE GOOF IS KILLING ME. 💀💀💀 HELP-

I honestly feel bad for him. He's been injected like TWICE so far. Wthhh 😭

OHHHHHH MY GOD. THAT TRANSITION???? HELLO??? IT’S ONE OF OUR FAV BLONDES!!!!! AHHHHHH I’VE BEEN WONDERING WHERE HE’S BEEN ALL THIS TIME. 

PLEEEEASE, THE WAY HE’S WEAK FROM SHOTS BUT NOT WEAK FROM FIGHTING ANYONE.

THE BABY BAND-AID, I- SDHFJSDHFSJDFJSD HE’S SUCH A BABYYYYYYY. AHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN’T. 

BROOOOO LOOK AT THIS FOOL. HE’S ALL GUCCI-ED OUT BRUH LIKE DAYUUUUUUM. His outfit could pay off my rent. (God, simping for this man is like a guilty pleasure. sheesh)

UMMMMM SIR. YOU’RE SAYING ALL OF THIS IN FRONT OF A DOCTOR????? Realistically, he’d call the police. Unless, if he’s affiliated with HNH Group or The Workers, thennnn... that’s probably why? IDK ANYMORE LMAO.

Also, tell me why I thought he was Seongjun Baek from Viral Hit for a second. 😂😂😂😂

Ummm... Are y’all REALLY going to talk about this right now?

WHILE YOU TWO ARE FALLING???????? 😰

Jake Kim, the GOAT. HE’S SUCH A GOOD GUY, AHHHHHHH. WE DON’T DESERVE JAKE. 😭😭😭😭 God, he’s such a kind soul. ❤️

She’s pretty and all, but I still resent her for what she did when she was still with the Workers. 😤

E W. LMAAOOOOOOOO NO.

PTJ really drawing pretty panels out here. 

EWWWWWWW x2 LMFAAAAOOOOOO. GET FUCKED.

THIS IS SUCH A PRETTY SCENE ASDHFKJASDHFHJSDHF. DISNEY PRINCESS, WHO???? (Even though, I wouldn’t consider her as one because... yk... Wow, I really have mixed feelings about this.)

I guess they have their own “happy ending” even though Vivi doesn’t really deserve it imo lol. 

JAMES LEE ALWAYS BE POPPIN WITH STYLE. HE SERVIN!!! 💅🏽

BRUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. PTJ REALLY GIVING US THESE ANGLES MAN. WTFFFFFFFFFFF???? BRO I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW THE JAMES LEE FANS MUST HAVE FREAKED OUT OVER THIS PANEL. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM SOBBIN. 💀💀💀💀💀💀 (like, “Yes sir, let me sit on your lap.”) 

For the James Lee simps: If you were to be there watching, what would you do? 😈

LMFAAAAOOOOOOO HE LOOKS SO FUNNY SITTING THERE, LEANING ONTO THAT LOW ASS CHAIR. WHY IS HE LEANING BACK LIKE THAT? BRUH I’M DEAD. 😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀 HE LOOKS LIKE HE NEEDS TO TAKE A SHIT DURING THIS MEETING WITH EUGENE, SO HE HAD TO LEAN BACK JUST TO HOLD IT IN HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ayo Eugene, you better tell him once he does his part of the deal. No games pls, bc you play too much. 😘

[gravyhoney]

Cw// gun/weapon

Let me into your brain about the silly legos (hc’s) - ✧

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ABOUT MY HCS‼️‼️

Idk which Legos you were referring to so I will make a HC post for Ninjago characters since it’s what I’m currently hyperfixating on.

Buckle in for an extremely long post because I am insane. Cutting it to keep it organized for u guys 🫶

So one thing about me is that I love incorporating other people’s headcanons into my own. And sometimes that leads to some contradicting headcanons, so in my little brain I have like, multiple different sets of headcanons for a bunch of different characters while also having My Headcanons, those being the ones I believe in the most/came up with without outside influence. I will be listing My Headcanons, but I type that entire preface to explain why some of my posts might be contradictory of the headcanons I list here 🫶

It’s gonna go like this in no particular order. (The order of how excited I am to share my hcs for them)

Character name- gender/pronouns, sexuality

List of headcanons

——————————————————

General-

Their eye color aligns with their element, they all have their natural eye colors, but after realizing/unlocking their elemental powers, they began to change.

Adding onto the above hc, Kai and Nya's eyes are still pretty dull due to them being like, the last two to realize their powers, while Jay's are extremely bright and vibrant.

Jay- she/they (occasionally he) transfem + gender-fluid, bisexual

Hard of hearing, wears hearing aids. I think the hearing loss has always been there, but I think her elemental power just worsened it, bc you know. Thunder loud.

That being said, I think she was the first to get her elemental powers. I think they got them when she was like, a really really young kid.

Has heterochromia.

Came out as trans like, mid-prime empire.

Has psychosis and suffers from delusions.

Not rlly a Jay hc, but related. Their mom gave them up because she was desperately hoping they wouldn't have an elemental power, but if she did, they'd be near unfindable because she lived through hell and didn't want Jay to have to go through the same.

AuDHD

Nya- she/they transfem nonbinary, bisexual demiromantic

Has a tremor after un-merging with the ocean.

Her and Kai both have pretty bad anger issues.

SHE CAN BREATHE UNDERWAAAATTTEEERRRRR I believe she can ok?

For a long time after Hands Of Time she hates the way she looks because of how much she looks like her mom.

Still holds a heavy resentment against their parents, because even though it wasn't their choice to leave, them and Kai still had to grow up alone.

Fucking hates the taste of cinnamon.

Has time blindness, but only after un-merging with the ocean. She became disoriented and confused about the passage of time after being the ocean for so long.

Sometimes they still feel pulled back to the water.

Best friends with Cole (I believe this one wholeheartedly)

ADHD

Lloyd- he/they nonbinary, aroace

Has insomnia, and a sleepwalking problem when he can get to sleep.

Looked fairly human when he was young, but as he got older, his Oni and Dragon features started showing more.

The feelings he felt for Harumi was mostly confusion because she was the first girl he got close to that didn't have what felt like an 'older sister' role in his life.

Really likes bugs.

Has auditory processing disorder.

Their body doesn't regulate temperature regularly.

Religiously watches iceberg videos.

Likes wearing more loose fitting, baggy clothing.

High-empathy autistic.

Kai- he/him transman, bisexual

He and Nya both have pretty bad anger issues.

He likes occasionally dressing femininely, but usually decides against it because he’s afraid people won’t take him seriously.

HIS ASS IS NOT THE DESIGNATED DRIVER

Has burn scars that go pretty far up his arms due to his own elemental power.

Extremely high body heat, has to wear gloves to avoid burning people at the touch.

Has a pretty bad memory due to constant concussions (his ass got beat to shit CONSTANTLY)

Was stealth trans for a while, because he wanted people to take him seriously, but stopped caring after a while and is extremely open about his identity.

Has a deep paranoia that he’s going to hurt the people he cares about, and is constantly over correcting at ever little mistake.

ADHD

Cole- he/they, gay ace grey-aro

After the events of DOTD he has to use a mobility aid for a while while he gets accustomed to having a body again.

Body-image issues.

He feels like he’s supposed to be in charge of keeping everyone safe.

Best friends with Nya and Vania (I believe in this one SO hard.)

He loves cooking, and is very defensive about it. NOBODY is allowed in the kitchen while he's cooking (except Nya she's his taste tester).

Has constant night terrors and has a very detailed sleep routine to avoid them.

Super good with kids.

Girls girl (gender neutral).

OCD + ADHD.

Zane- they/them agender, panromantic ace

Will sometimes pick up little crafts or projects, jack of all trades type vibe.

Is actually SUPER up to date with every single internet trend or meme.

Can't taste (bc they're a nindroid...) but fr thought for years that all food just had no taste until the robot reveal and they're like 'ohh'

Has constantly wildly shifting morals.

Genuinely the scariest of the group, sometimes freaking out everyone else. This makes them sad. They present themselves in such a way to make them approachable.

Has a tendency to blame themself when everything goes wrong.

Refuses to talk about their feelings to anyone else, bottling it up.

Autistic.

Pixal- any pronouns agender, unlabeled ace

Runs every single online forum about the ninja, none of them know.

Always has to feel useful, or she gets stressed out easily.

Listens to podcasts when he works.

Wildly defensive.

Felt a little unworthy of the Samurai X title when nobody knew it was them.

Low-empathy autistic.

Skylor- she/they, lesbian

True neutral (generally looks out for herself, doesn't really do things for the greater good, but for her own sake)

Doesn't remember her mom at all, she passed away when she was extremely young.

After the events of S4 she completely uprooted her life, changed literally everything about herself to disconnect herself from her father. Renamed the noodle shop, and completely rewrote the menu.

Makes most of her own clothes.

Picked up painting, is insanely good at it.

Slightly self destructive, constantly trying to distance themself from the ninja, but Kai always drags her back.

Realized her elemental power at a very young age, mostly because of her father.

BPD + CPTSD.

Vania- she/fae/it/he transwoman, lesbian aromantic

Very talkative.

Writes to Cole a lot (she has both a phone and his phone number it just likes writing to him).

Plays a lot of instruments, faer favorites being the harp and the violin.

Extremely anxious that she's not going to be a good queen, constantly overcorrecting.

Really indecisive and always changing his mind.

AuDHD

Harumi- she/he bigender, pansexual

Probably bites people.

Because of how sheltered she was with the royal family, she doesn't know a lot of basic life skills, and had to teach herself near everything she knows.

He did learn how to sew, and mends his own clothes.

Has albinism.

Always blaming her problems on other people, that being a product of the extreme pressure he was under when princess.

ADHD + CPTSD.

Sora- she/they/various neos transfem, lesbian

Always has to be busy, or she will start spiraling.

Wildly protective of Arin.

Was constantly getting into fights in the early days of living in the crossroads, very quickly learned they'd have to constantly fight to survive.

Talks about xer childhood like 'haha yeah it be how it be :)' and everyone listening is completely horrified.

Views everyone she meets as a threat until they prove they aren't.

Really likes reading, her favorite genre being sci-fi.

Does some creative writing, but has never shown anyone her writing.

Love language is quality time.

Since realizing their elemental power, she's had a tremor in her hands. She hates it.

Low-empathy autistic + OCD.

Arin- he/they transmasc, unlabeled aroace

Needs people to be in the kitchen when he bakes, he's very social.

Wildly protective of Sora

Has night terrors, has never talked about it.

Actually really good at fighting dirty if needed. Bro kicks ASS.

Picks at his fingernails.

Has read Sora's writing, (she doesn't know) he finds some comfort in it.

Love language is physical touch.

Is always completely down to prank people, a devious little guy.

Nearsighted, but doesn't ever mention it because he doesn't know.

Craves validation from anywhere he can get it.

Low-empathy autistic + ADHD

Wyldfyre- he/she/they nonbinary, queer greyaro

Anger issues for days.

Really physically strong.

Love language is physical touch.

Has burn scars on their hands and thinks they make them look badass.

Talks loudly because he has hearing loss.

Doesn't know how to interact with people, seeing as she was raised by a dragon.

Low pain tolerance, but knows how to hide it.

It never came up until she started living with people, but he's deathly afraid of seeming weak or incapable.

ADHD

Euphrasia- she/her transwoman, unlabeled ace

Introverted as hell.

Can hold her own in a fight for a surprisingly long time (I know this is not canon compliant, let me be delusional)

Had really long hair, but had a manic episode and cut it all off.

Likes drawing.

Despite her job, she's not too keen on reading.

Autistic

[kohakhearts]

hey taylo my bestie hello please elaborate on the goh cubone jn subtle storytelling thingy

COMING TO THIS SUPER LATE SORRY MAN SCHOOL WAS KICKING MY ASS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING. IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED.

ok so jn015. our intro to goh's family unit, notably his parents. goh explains his dad is a systems engineer and his mom is a programmer. they work together and run their own company (and appear to be a two-man team, when we actually see them at work). right off the bat, ash is surprised that goh has to call to warn his parents he's coming home. goh essentially says he doesn't want to be a bother to them. he's very casual about the whole thing. it apparently doesn't bug him at all. in fact, he goes out of his way to get them and his grandmother gifts and generally seems to be looking forward to seeing them.

he IS disappointed when they turn out not to be home when he gets there, but in true pokemon anime fashion, this is not dwelled on for long. he says it's fine, he doesn't want to make his parents worry, and also his parents are great and scorbunny's gonna love them. so instead of moping about it, he goes out and gets involved in his little park adventure, where he runs into a cubone being targeted by a bunch of mankey.

this is the only time in the main-line anime that cubone's dex entry is given. it is not the first time a cubone has shown up, though, which is...strange, but i'll roll with it. here's what the dex says (sourced from bulbapedia):

Cubone, the Lonely Pokémon. A Ground type. Cubone wears a skull as a helmet, concealing its face as it sheds tears for its long-lost mother. It cries loudly to express its loneliness. It also always carries a long, thick bone.

REALLY interesting choice for Pokemon Of The Day (literally bc it's also the who's that pokemon feature) for the episode where we're introduced to goh's parents.

it's also like...obviously not the only time where we see goh decide to help a pokemon, but i do think that his captures (especially early on in the series) that are framed in this way (i.e. they span over the course of an episode, wherein he befriends the mon before catching it. he doesn't have many catches like this in the series!!) seem to serve a purpose of like, really emphasizing certain traits he shares. before this, we had scorbunny - who is a bit of a loner, kind of the "odd one out," but is determined and stubborn and doesn't really want charity, either (but latches very quickly on to the first human who shows a genuine interest in it). now, we have cubone. the lonely pokemon.

i feel that the WAY he approaches cubone is...interesting? like he's sad for it. his facial expressions are very telling. and this is the first time we see him choosing to help a pokemon without ash around (something we know he never really would've done before meeting ash; and i've mentioned this before, but i do think a lot of his "well, you can't just help pokemon because you think they need it, they need to learn to be independent and help themselves" attitude stems from the fact that he was forced to be independent and help himself from a young age. so i think it's actually pretty profound that one of his first major overtures to a pokemon without ash pushing him is in a situation where he is acting more the parent to his parents than the other way around. he's literally on the way to delivering them dinner to work. and his gift for them is gloves, because it's cold). that tells me he is really affected by what he's seeing. he's empathetic to it (he also never tells it to stop crying or anything when they're looking for its bone, which honestly doesn't seem all that in-character for him at this point. just look at the way he talks to scorbunny a few episodes later when it's trying to learn ember, right?)

anyway, this being the only time it gets a dex entry is already like, kind of in your face enough imo. but then he also catches it. and at the end of the episode, when his parents are talking in the kitchen (and notably they are, again, separate from the other characters - more so onlookers than active participants in the family), his dad specifically says this

like i don't know how much more obvious than that they can get with saying they were trying to draw a parallel between goh and cubone. but lonely - anyone can feel lonely. that's just one aspect of the comparison. cubone is lonely because it misses its mother. because it's an orphan.

isn't it a little...ironic...that goh's parents would be the ones drawing the comparison in the end? but that's the point, i think. i mean, goh's not an orphan. but his parents chose to continue living a lifestyle that reinforced his loneliness and ensured a degree of separation between them. they share with each other their concerns for him, but never voice those to him. obviously there's love on both sides, but emotionally speaking - there's next to no connection there. goh idolizes and idealizes his parents, and goes out of his way to take care of them; in turn, his parents share in a secret concern for his wellbeing and compensate for their guilt at making him feel isolated by supplying him with whatever they can materially (mr six computer monitor set-up in his bedroom at age 7. what the fuck). so he's not literally an orphan...but emotionally? well. that's a whole other can of wurmples :pensive:

anyway, tl;dr he's not a real orphan. but i'll give him the honour because he does kinda have that orphan complex going for him <3

[murdrdocs]

OKAY im glad you dont find it silly bc i have more modern earth things peter would have fun with!!

he looooves wireless headphones (over ear, obviously) because when hes dancing he always loses his balance when he got his arm wrapped in a wire. he can twirl freely now.

he does, however, hate it when you show him the footloose remake. he spends the whole time complaining.

i think he has a lot of fun with animals (bc of a certain best buddy he had back in the sky) and fucking LOVES funny animal videos and sends them to you all the time. also, he likely spends a lot of his time volunteering and rehabilitation facilities, especially those with rescued baby raccoons.

he would probably love a spielberg and scorsese marathon, two of the most famous directors from the time he left earth, to catch him up on their recent work. he really likes jurassic park but feels really bad for all the dinosaurs. also, ian malcom looks like a guy he met on sakaar once? and i think he’s just in awe of the fact that you can watch whatever movie you want and listen to whatever song whenever you want at any time of day. which is why the ORIGINAL footloose is somehow always playing in the background on the tv.

he doesn’t like a lot of popular music from nowadays, but he WILL listen to the deep cuts like a hipster. (don’t call him that, he doesn’t know what it means.) i could see him being really into psych rock and some blues rock from today. take him to lollapalooza, please. he’ll have the time of his life.

and lastly this isn’t exclusive to modern day but he obviously didn’t really get the chance to enjoy them as a child, he would fucking LOVE amusement parks. ride all the rides, play all the games to win you all the prizes. (he’s suspiciously impeccable at the shooting ones)

this is all so so accurate like i don't even have anything to add??

except, the amusement park thing is 100% true. no matter how big the ride is, he's on it (fury 325 im looking @ u). he has his hands up, "woo"ing like his life depends on it, and he invests in a fast pass because he's super impatient and hates waiting in the long lines. the carnies hate him because the games are obviously rigged, but peter still manages to win ? and he doesn't even know that they're rigged, he's just winning them back to back, betting he could do so whenever you try to tell him that they games are impossible to win. (he only wants a kiss and a slice of pizza, btw)

also, quill is always down for a movie night. for the first few months back on earth, he alternates between listening to music and watching movies. once he's caught up on his old favorites, he literally just rewatches them. he almost flat-out refuses to go to theaters and see new releases, unless it's from one of the older greats or possibly the newer ones (he likes some christopher nolan films, but he can't get into wes anderson). also the jurassic park bit is rlly getting me because he gets to the newer ones, and just pauses the tv whenever owen grady comes up because peter swears he's his long lost twin or doppleganger. and you're just playing with him, gaslighting him just a bit ("no, owen grady is hotter than you. you guys don't look alike at all").

he's also the type to see strays and bring them home, leaving you both to call around and figure something out. but he can't just leave them there. he'd rather have a barn for a house than have strays out there alone.

he would be so confused and a little offended if you called him a hipster, because he literally just doesn't ?? know ?? what you mean ?? at first he thinks you're calling him a hippie and that's way off. all he knows is that when you say "hipster", your voice has a teasing tone and you have a little smile that tells him it's not an amazing comparison.

completely random but peter has no concept of money. when he was a kid, $5 was like heaven to him, but he's dealt with so many intergalactic monetary conversions that dollars mean nothing to him. so when he's shopping for a pair of overear headphones, and he stumbles upon the pricy sony or apple ones, he's just like "that's a reasonable price, right?". until you remind him of how much money he has in his bank account so he's fine with a cheaper pair from amazon.

which, speaking of, peter becomes addicted to amazon for a moment. having all of that at the tap of his finger is overwhelming, and he's a mini-hoarder for a few weeks until you change the amazon password and refuse to tell him.

[tojikai]

I just finished the “home” series, i just found your account yesterday yet all that’s left for me to read is “permanent mark”🙃

Like the “fix you” series, i ended up with alot of questions which is weird because i don’t have any for sundered but then again, im more of a toji girl

Questions:

- why did toji cheat?

- What happened in their marriage for it to get like that?

- did he ever truly fall out of love?

- do you have any plans for another story series?

- what would’ve happened if she hadn’t died?

- would’ve he regretted it or come back to her eventually?

- did he think of her daily after her death?

- how was he feeling after her death, years after?

- why did he put his mistress over his wife?

- Does he love his mistress more

- what’s up with the whole thing he did/him putting her over his wife

- what was his thought process when it first happened and after it kept happening

- ik he said he didn’t love hana but why would he cheat and basically put her over his wife if he didn’t?!?!

- i read 3 out of 4 stories so far and it seems like there a pattern of dudes putting someone they think they love yet don’t over someone they do or love more, is there any reason’s for it

Just me rambling about the story and your other stories:

I know he did but i hope toji suffers so so so much more until his last breath! (He did but I hope it felt like it was infinite for him😌) also Fuck hana! Wtf😭😭 if only toji didn’t fuck up bro its so sad, im hating yet understanding him?? If that makes sense, actually no not understanding but sympathetic towards him in the first ending ig but still fuck toji!!! I felt bad for him and then the next life chapter??? With his thoughts wtf and putting hana over y/n again😭 fuck toji!! he basically emotionally cheated if i was y/n i would’ve lefttt!! I swear your y/n’s are saints compared to me shhsjs

Your stories are so beautifully written yet so sad

I love them even if i might hate the love interest lol

Im More of the resentment type so it feels so silly to say this especially over a fanfic(but then again all of yours are so wonderfully written) but your stories i guess have made me possibly see things in a different light: like ppl do make mistakes and can change or genuinely regret them or that people can maybe hurt the people they love which is so weird for me to say because its a story and also im the type to refuse to believe you can love someone after you treated them so badly or cheated on them. Ig ur stories have made me realizes humans make mistakes and they aren’t BAD people for it butt the pppl they hurt doesn’t have to take them back nor forgive them or they can and it lean to something better than what would’ve been if they ended things

Note:

Im so sorry if im asking too much and i hope im not bothering you, i just tend to talk alot regarding things that i get invested in and i get so curious sbsjsj

Im probably writing this much because im so sleepy right now haha (my apologies especially if i wrote so much nonsense or I didn’t write/explain things wellh

thank you in advance if you answer 🫶i appreciate it, have a good day/night🖤i hope y enjoy the remaining of summer! Tysm for creating these masterpieces ‼️

hiii omg thanks so much, im glad that you enjoyed them <3

- to answer the first 3 questions: toji cheated bc he was bored. i have no excuses for this man in home series bc he really cheated bc their rs was getting a bit dull for him. do u know that point they say in some lovers' relationship. the drought, the feeling similar to "falling out of love" but they say not to leave your partner during this time bc that's when true love begins? yeah that. 🥹 he didn't really fell out of love but it's like a similar feeling to it.

- as for plans for another series, i'm thinking of doing a mini one. i have a draft here just waiting to be polished and published.

- if yn didn't die, hmm... assuming they stayed together, it's gonna be a very dead relationship. bc yn is so so tired. not just emotionally but mentally too. she's gonna have a hard time believing that toji still loves her even if he tried to explain. she's gonna be very reserved and visibly uncomfortable around him, thinking that he doesn't really want to be w her and just staying out of pity. she's gonna limit herself, and the love that she shows him. it will ultimately end in divorce, and he's gonna end up not wanting to sign it.

- yes, toji would've still regretted it even if yn didn't die. he's bound to come back to yn eventually. the day he left, he never planned on staying with his mistress for long. he just went there bc he was frustrated and he's trying to run away from yn's confrontation and the consequences. deep inside he was hoping that yn won't push through w the 'divorce.'

- for the 7th and 8th question, yes toji thought of yn every day and every night. the onyl time he's not thinking of her is when he's swarmed with work. but even during those times, his mind wanders to her still. the feeling that he felt when he learned of her death and discovered how she prepared everything for him and his new life was how he felt his whole life. it was never lessened. if anything it only got worse w time.

- for the 9th, 10th and 11th question: no, he didn't love his mistress more than yn. he left and put his mistress over his wife bc he thought that's what he wanted. there was a sense of thrill, the feeling of being with someone new that pushed him to act like that. as mentioned in the home series, his pride took over and he thought that that's the freedom that he wanted but it wasn't. it was too late when he realized that. you really don't know what you got until it's gone. he thought yn's gonna be there forever and that's why he kept choosing to go to his mistress not knowing that yn's days were numbered and that he's about to lose her.

- when he first cheated w her out of pure lust. there was no deeper meaning to it. and then it kept happening bc he found escape and thrill in it. other than that, she gives him a different type of attention, something new.

- w hana it was the attraction that made him act like that. im not saying all people, but some tend to be nice to attractive people and they don't even notice that to impress a new one, they end up neglecting another one. other than that, it's bc they work together. he doesn't plan on getting it on w her tho. he loves yn.

- i just like the thought of them making mistakes to learn from LMAO but i guess the difference is in fix you, his wife's dead. it's the lack of appreciation for the present and being stuck in the past. while in sundered, uhm it's a lot of pride and he did love Naomi tho. she was so good to him. (except that 'thing' she tried to do)

it makes me happy when people say they learn something from the content i put out🥺 the fact that you guys read my masterlist also makes me happy bc it makes me realize that literature really do make something immortal AAAAA i enjoyed reading this and answering your questions~ thank you so much for the love and support you give my stories <3 hope you're having a great week ~!!