#im genuinely seething rn

[yokakaiju]

shoutout to tristamp for boiling knives down to a narcissistic yandere brocon... love it when one of my faves gets brutalized by their own serise, makes me so happy...

i fucking despise all the anime only bitches who now think plantcest is canon because of FUCKING GOD DAMN TRISTAMP

OH MY GOD GENUINELY DONT GET ME FUCKING STARTED IM GONNA LOSE IT LIKE THESE BITCHES HAVE NO FUCKING READING COMPREHENSION ISTG THEY DO NOT DESEVER TO KNOW ABOUT KNIVES IN TRIMAX THEY LITERALLY DONT BECAUSE HE IS NOT THE SAME GUY AS WHATEVER TF """KNIVES""" IN TRISTAMP IS!!!!!! LIKE RAHHHH OH MY GOD HE JUST WANTS HIS BROTHER TO BE SAFE THATS LITERALLY ALL HE WANTS; HE DOESNT WANNA FUCK HIM, HE DOESNT WANNA BE ROMANTIC WITH HIM YOU ARE SO FUCKING DUMB, LITERALLY ALL HE WANTS HIS FOR HIS BROTHET TO BE SAFE HOLY SHIT OH MY FUCKINF GOD

[lightbulb-warning]

this is getting ridiculous there's so much stuff i wanna draw i need to clone myself immediately

[p4nishers]

being plagued by thoughts of eddie's hand missing buck's shoulder when he leaves him with abby

[angeltism]

i want to commit first degree murder on that fictional asshole

[angelicdonuts]

I will never not find it kinda fucked up to unmutual someone and yet still keep them as YOUR follower... cough cough esp when I followed YOU back... what the hellll...

[munch-mumbles]

trans people working retail should be allowed to tell one customer a day to ***

[rosykims]

blowing u a kiss rn @abelas ❤️ i have sooooo many ideas for her life after trespasser i genuinely believe she would be a great candidate for a comic series lmao with the amount of sidequests i have set up for her.....

mainly her priority since trespasser has been learning old/taboo magics and understanding the power that comes with them in a sort of desperate hope to even the playing score between herself and solas. she basically goes into hiding for several years, guiding the inquisition thru decrypted letters between herself and divine victoria (leliana in her worldstate). during those years she goes all over : kirkwall, to interrogate fenris irt his lyrium vallaslin tattoos and their magic nullification abilities, and then staying in the city to learn more about meredith/the red lyrium/the insane blood magic sacrificial altar the whole city seems to be built upon. then back to the frostbacks to train with avaar augurs and learn their techniques with spirits. to revain to study with the seers, to the witches of the wild to study their shapeshifting abilities, to tevinter, to isolated dalish clans, to tal-vashoth, and im sure shes spent time with the wardens and veil jumpers too. just years and years and years of study and practice and building up an arsenal of knowledge while also quietly isolating herself from everyone and seething herself into a frenzy :)

maybe like 2 or 3 years prior to datv is when she Officially returns to the fold as the face of (whats left of) the inquisition. pretty much everyone who knew her is in shock by just how harsh and cold she's become. she was always cranky and impatient, but most of the inner circle understood that she had a lot of kindness under the surface and just struggled to convey it properly. but its harder to find that side of her now. and even if they could, she's too paranoid to let her guard down around ANYONE except the OG advisors . its hard out here !

[mspeevee]

Would it help more to ask you questions so you can vent, or would you prefer comfort? If so, would you prefer reassurance or advice?

I know it's a lot, and I don't want to condenscend. But I do promise that you aren't doing anything wrong by feeling this way. Take as much time as you need <3

i just wish i felt like i was important to my friends enough that i was worth the time i put into them back

i wasn't gonna vent but then i exploded anyways.

the gist is that multiple times now i've felt like i do all this effort, messaging first, making art (i don't do it expecting anything back), sharing my life with people only to receive like, appreciation but not reciprocation. and then i watch them do all of that for other people and i can't help but feel like it's my fault. like i am just so replaceable.

and then when i am hurting so bad i understand they don't know what to say me, hell they prolly have my vent and complaining tags blocked i'm sure, but i feel left to rot and seethe until i fucking hate them. and then i feel bad about it, cuz i don't want to, but i'm so tired of feeling this way every few months. it makes me wish i were dead because i don't see any point in going on if no one genuinely cares if i'm in pain or not. not even a simple "hey im sorry you're going through this but i care". i get ignored. and i feel like it reflects my worth to them.

and rn i can't blame myself for feeling so angry about it too when i feel like i'm bleeding out with their backs turned to me. and maybe that's dramatic but i'm not exactly rational right now anyways so.

and later on i prolly won't blame them or anything, i know this is all because my mental health is bad and my brain tortures me using them against me, but when it happens so often and i feel like i'm finally getting better only for something random to set me off into wanting to stop existing again i'm like, well what's the fucking point??

would they even cry about me for that long? would me leaving leave any impact longer than a week? a month? would they regret not taking every chance i gave them to engage with me? did i deserve their time at all anyways? am i selfish for interpreting continual silence as dismissal?

this applies to literally everything but i cannot blame myself for not knowing how people think when they don't tell me. i can't know if anyone likes my art if they don't like it or reblog it or tell me. i can't know that you told your friends you really enjoyed a post on my blog if that's the only people you told.

and obviously that extends to me, too, how can they know i'm slowly resenting them if i dont say something? but isn't that so cruel of me to mention? isn't it so mean of me to make them feel bad for doing harmless things that just so happen to be used as ammo against me because of my own problems by my own brain? should i just stop making friends? where do i give up here? where do i work on it?

honestly i'd love advice, idk how to cope like this. everything online just says therapy but that's not an option for me. im trying so hard to practice mindfulness and challenging the thoughts but they seem so right and like there's so much "proof". "oh you did all this for your friend but they never did it back but look now they're doing it with this new friend! and it's not the first time either, how many times will you assume you mean as much to them as they do to you."

i wish i wasnt struggling alone. even tho i know i'd just think they're lying if they ever reached out to me at least i would remember they tried when i started to come out of this ditch. but no one wants to try with me anymore, and it's my fault.

[hyenagurl]

oh i am fucking SEETHING rn, my landlady (“roommate”) changed the internet provider and got a new router without my knowing and it is genuinely the worst fucking wifi ive ever seen. like holy shit im never taking fast internet for granted again, my tv is basically useless bc i cannot load ANYTHING. im saying something tomorrow when she gets back, there is no way i am putting up with this for much longer. my only comfort is that its slow for everyone else so hopefully that will encourage them to unfuck this idiotic shit. frankly i pay too much rent for this shit.

[intertexts]

SHAKING U BY THE SHOULDERS. TELL ME ABOUT UR P5 HEART PLAYERS YOU KNOW I LOVE THOSE !!!!!!

HHHSDFHBGHDFG HDFHGDHBBBBJFGJ <- BEING SHAKEN NOISES.

OK. ok. my p5r heart players... god. so there r three of them & they all are character foiling each other & all mirroring each other in like, notably similar ways. (a LOT of the character work in p5 IS based around like,,, characters mirroring each other, their trauma echoing or having common roots, similar issues, etc. but these three + another guy r all specifically parallel 2 me.) heart as an aspect is all about... identity, right? who you are + who you pretend to be + the tension btwn those, & also yr relationships + how u interact with others... (which is SUPER fucking p5 coded in general-- like... the entire crux of the game is 50% identity shit + 50% the way u form bonds with others changes ur life)

anyway the one i'm thinking about most rn is called kasumi yoshizawa! she is a very nice cute pleasant high school freshman who's very good at gymnastics & wants to pursue it professionally, and she's dedicated her art to her dead younger sister, sumire, who unfortunately passed in an accident about a year ago and who she really misses...

... except it turns out that she's actually her dead sister :) she's sumire, and she was... brainwashed? by the antagonist of the arc into believing that she's kasumi-- because the antagonist really just wants the world to be a kinder, better place; he wants everyone's wishes to come true :) and sumire's wish is that she (inadvertently responsible for her sister's death)'s more like her sister, because her sister was perfect and amazing and better than her in every way. which is fucking horrifying-- everyone else just,,, knew she was sumire, but she just. Went around the world dressing in her dead sister's clothes and fixing her hair like her dead sister and using her same mannerisms and believing she was her!!! for a year! genuinely a nightmare scenario. do you think she slept in her dead sister's bedroom. do u think it made her parents sick. anyway her conflict between "i literally NEED to be anyone else i CANNOT be myself i cannot live in my own fucking skin i can't do it vs. what. should i just live out a lie? keep living in her dead skin?? drag her corpse around after me because i'm too selfish to let her rest?" insane to me. good lord.

the next guy, goro akechi (MY LITTLE GUY!!!!!!!!!! THE ONE IM BONKERS ABOUT!!!) is ALSO a nice pleasant boy hes also very charming and such :) he's a famous cute celebrity also!! hes super popular as a genius cute boy detective >:3c he. ummm. god. where do i even begin. well. he's also clinging to ghosts & dead bodies & such. he spent his formative years entirely alone and being bounced around the system. he literally fucking genuinely like no shit has a god out there making his life as fucking miserable as possible. like im being dead serious here theres a whole ass god up there making his life the worst it could be. so. well. he's so fucking desperate (like, sickeningly desperate. the kind that's really kind of offputting like you know that's not gonna get you anywhere man.) to be loved or even appreciated he becomes a mass murderer about it. his seven year plan is

-kill my dad

-fake my whole personality so im lovable because theres no way thats happening otherwise

-fuck it we ball.

guy with the most fragile and convincing veneer of pleasant charm possible and under it is this seething morass of hatred and shame and jealousy and anger. anyway he's a heart player because 1. he's a 1 for 1 foil of akira (the next heart player) & 2. because his whole. Deal is being insanely fucking conflicted about himself. he genuinely believes in justice and like. Morality and such, he always keeps his deals and repays his debts. and he's often just a vicious bitch & also a hitman working for one of the worst people on the planet! i'm not explaining it very well but he mirrors sumire so heavily in like... conflict btwn his self + who he wants to be + how he's perceived + what he Wants + what he thinks he wants + the way he interacts with the world... aughghghhhh. their partitioning off of Different Selves for different things is very. well. & they both also heavily parallel each other re: being VERY different than they appear to be initially & being so hard 2 Know. etc.

speaking of partitioning off different selves-- the third guy!!! akira kurusu!! the protag of the game!!!!!! his whole DEAL is that he has a hundred different masks he sifts through & wears for every different occasion, he's a different guy to his friends & his mentor figures & his enemies & the world in general!!!! not that any of them are Fake, just that they are... not the whole thing, you know. absolutely key to his character also is that he's Very sharp and observent when it comes to dynamics btwn people & very good at making connections btwn people (he could Also be a blood player. but like... he Literally Steals Hearts. it feels too on the nose to pass up.) anyway. auugjfjfjfgghkbgh they r all SO DEAR 2 me they r all such good characters.... all of them have such an interesting dynamic together!! three massive liars with insane relationships to selfhood. etc.

[fertbutt]

how do people live with roommates. I genuinely dont know if the problem is me being autistic or some shit or if it's that my roommates are both bad but I cant stand it here. im like a feral cat that hasnt been socialized i cant fucking stand sharing a space with other people. they'll literally just like play music or talk on the phone or cook food and I'll be in my room blasting my eardrums with music trying to block them out seething pacing and trying not to cry. rn my roommate is cooking something that smells bad AND playing pop music AND talking with a friend and i cant fucking deal. this is only my first semester of college i might be so fucked you guys

[toxycodone]

My favorite Weezer album (also objectively the worst, DO NOT FUCKING LISTEN TO IT PLEASE /srs I will bite you with malicious intent) is the Pinkerton Album, it's misogynistic and pathetic and fetishistic, rivers cuomo made the rawest sounding incel music ever. The whole album is just rivers screaming and pouting about how horrible his life is because women don't love him, my favorite song by the foxing is also rory if that makes it any worse for you LMFAO

my top 3 Pinkerton songs are "I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams", "Butterfly - Alternate Take", and a tie between "El Scorcho" and "Pink Triangle" because pink triangle is so funny to me, rivers is complaining about the girl he liked being a lesbian, get cucked loser. If u decide to listen to the album, only listen to IJTOTLOMD (acronym for the first song I mentioned, I'm not writing that shit out) and Pink Triangle, they are the least egregious out of the entire album, and IJTOTLOMD doesnt even have rivers singing ITS THE BEST SONG WITHOUT THE ACTUAL LEAD SINGER in it this shows you how bad Weezer is, I'm old Weezer's biggest fan and number one hater I will always make fun of weezer

ALSO OMG THANK U ?? u got me smiling and shit. lol I don't want to get into it but my last partner (online dating) pressured me into being xir dominant and guilt tripped me into doing sexual things for xem ... it just was a bad experience overall. And then bro had the gall to break up with me on my birthday after we were together for over a year and showed me xir new boyfriend the day after like...It was fucked. But I'm better now!! And Im not using the word loser in a demeaning way for myself, I'm like, Hmmm... I have that pathetic sopping wet dog rizz yk? Pathetic Loser ™ is my base state of being, my younger siblings bully me about it but its all in good fun I love them lol. (One of them admitted that I was actually cool so heeheehee)

But thank you I feel special, you have a grown man doing this -> ☺️👉🏼👈🏼 and kicking his feet and shit. I'll give you a little kiss on the cheek as a token of my thanks. Mwah 💋

- the same anon who is still scared of admitting who he is lol

okay you know those guys that like. Seethe because terrible men give bad bitches trust issues??? That’s me rn.

anon you have no fucking idea how mad this makes me 😭 like?? Be so so so fucking fr. YALL HAVE TO STOP FUMBLING BADDIES. GIVE THEM TO PEOPLE WHO DESERVE THEM (ME!!! I WILL CHERISH THEM!!!)

okay as someone who also got burned by online dating (long ass story. which I won’t tell unless asked). I’m genuinely so sorry that happened to you. People online can be such a fucking hit or miss (usually a miss). But your ex’s behavior makes me think your ex is jealous LOOOOL. No one flexes anything if they’re truly happy and content—trust.

I’m still doing this to your ex tho bc I’m petty.

AND YESSS YOU GET IT. Like. When I say loser I don’t mean that in a bad way. Like, more in a colloquial sense. Because really I like nerdy guys bc they’re people who are open and proud of their interests even tho they may seem weird. And they’re just honest about who they are and their abilities. It’s actually really brave. And I love that about them. So. Yeah.

ty for the cheek kiss tho hehe I am glad I was able to make u feel good.

[faggotmox]

they let someone else go outside today & im genuinely seething rn

[canadianfag999]

SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF MY HEADDDDDD😭😭😭

I HATE HIMM!!!!!!!! HES MAKING ME CRY. WHY IS HE SO FUCKING AASAAAHAHAHJDHJKDBSHOJOIWNEJKNEJHODYS

somebody kill me.

I HATE BILL SO MUCH. LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE BRO

no cause i genuinely cannot discribe in words what i am aming rn bro

im mad. enraged. but not seething. just disappointed. i feel as if i just took off my rose tinted glasses. i hate this. i feel as if im restricted from making stuff with these goofy mfs, because “iT’s NoT cAnOn” i want everything to be as accurate as possible. like how should mike act and speak? since he was born in the 20’s. what happens after his isolation? how does he get to the theraprism?

OH. AND THATS ANOTHER THING I HATE.

i have absolutely no one to talk to this about and its driving me mad. im fucking refrencing this multidimensional au like it’s fnaf. nobody fucking knows who micheal brettsmen is. also that’s not a real name! its not even someone who’s lived before!!! he literally DOESNT EXIST.

im thinking of turning my og blog into a info/shitpost/general place to talk/share and post about double cross, but i don’t know how. i dont know how to format it, how to start.

why is this fucking self insert making me cry.

[vvarcrime]

HtaH Dashboard Simulator

🦆bitethehandthatpromises Follow

I will be honest keeping jean-luc in a room for 20 years was probably not the nicest thing to do to him but he DID directly cause thousands of deaths. It was that or killing him outright. At least this way he finally gets to live his shit dream of being mark van santen's loser boytoy in his 50s. Honestly i think the fact that he was still into him is what really needs discussing here. Is the grand archon okay.

🌅 patricides Follow

No way Manon Delaforêt is doing prison state apologia on my fucking dash rn

🦆 bitethehandthatpromises Follow

Oh hi there giselle "patricides" o'sullivan id love to hear more about what you think an appropriate, constructive reaction to violent murder is

🌅 patricides Follow

Hey

🦆bitethehandthatpromises Follow

Please tell me more about how you think i should have dealt with my dad

🌟vvarcrime Follow

I love learning about the Fall of the Rationalists' League, honestly. There is a nonzero chance that manon's dad having workplace relations would have prevented mass murder.

🫒unidentifiedbaby Follow

btw just so everyone knows whilst trading pows was absolutely in the talks. manon pulling jean-luc delaforêt our of her literal basement and selling him back to the ga for a full release of all coalition pows and then some was not discussed because she failed to mention that he was even alive. that level of resource cultivation would be so impressive if it wasn't basically land mutiny.

🌟vvarcrime Follow

Cranky cos u didnt get to grill him before he got traded off? 🥺

🫒unidentifiedbaby Follow

JUST A TAD.

🌟vvarcrime Follow

🗿fiendberg Follow

My dick is NOT that good

🐠greyspawnofficial Follow

Jack Valerian has been coping and seething abt the Jean-Luc thing all day which would be hilarious if I wasnt also so miffed. About the Jean-Luc thing.

🌅 patricides Follow

Hey boss its ok im sure youre great at unlawful detention too

😈 vixiegracebignaturals Follow

o so NOW people care about illegaly ditaining ppl in basements? white man privilige smh when i was illegaly ditained in a basement nobody cared exept ophelia and she put me there 💀

🌟vvarcrime Follow

KAEDE???

😈vixiegracebignaturals Follow

no. someone else. sorry vivienne lorelei grace, who i do not know

⁉️cassandyass Follow

I cant believe jean is still alive i hope mark rides his shiny new boytoy so hard he has a heart attack and dies

🥶likefromwaterhouse Follow

mark or jean-luc?

⁉️cassandyass Follow

Yeah

🌅 patricides Follow

JEAN-LUC DELAFORÊT IS MANON DELAFORÊT'S WHAT

🫒unidentifiedbaby Follow

With all due respect, they have the same surname??

🌅 patricides Follow

Thank you for your input, Jack! Do you also think i am related to the fucking twins at st. Claire's

🥶likefromwaterhouse Follow

You know usually i get very annoyed thinking about the amount of work i did for the GA & the fact that they keep using it to make god-men out of war criminals but i do genuinely hope they devote the time and resources necessary to clone Jean-Luc new eyes, only to completely forget that 20 years of total blindness will have resulted in his brain completely overwriting the parts that he used to see with Other Stuff. & completely waste their time.

🌟vvarcrime Follow

That can HAPPEN?

🥶likefromwaterhouse Follow

Yeah 👍

🛫sanguineish Follow

Hholy shit jeanluc alive

🌟vvarcrime Follow

Hey man hows it going

🛫 sanguineish Follow

We should. Killhim

🦆bitethehandthatpromises Follow

Sorry

🛫sanguineish Follow

My apologies! Did not mean to Qjestion yoir decision

🌅 patricides Follow

Anyone in this thread smoke weed

[mayoiayasep]

k so like why is half of gokuluck like some of the worst rep ever. like bro idk much about shion and kenta rn but youre telling me that we got 1. evil alter who is literally like. police brutality incarnate. and 2. aggressive black guy (said black guy is one of the fucking two dark skinned characters in this god damn franchise) . im not going into inukai genuinely could not give a shit about him outside of his va but the way im kinda seething about toga. like we got two visibly dark skinned characters in this house and one of them's in the yakuza and the other one's whole thing is literally being in prison. for a super violent crime. and is described as aggressive all the time. paradox live when i fucking get you

am i allowed to bitch a little bit. is this a safe space to bitcha bout paralive a little bit