#im gay but wouldn't i be straight

[rubbish78]

they are so fucking beautiful

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[nams2]

Talking to other partnering aros: Yeah so I've been reading original fics on AO3 to try and find some good queerplatonic stuff. Theres a steady stream if you filter by the queerplatonic tag which is nice. The problem is that most of it's either too short for me or just underdeveloped background characters but its something. Yeah it sucks to settle for that but you know how dire it is finding rep.

Talking about being aro to allos: No Im aroace. That means aromantic and asexual. They're different things. It- no asexual means a lack of sexual attraction. They can be different.

[someguythatdrawsstuff]

I think a, not really new, but still new pet peeve of mine is when ppl say stuff like "mspec monos aren't valid", "lesboys/turigirls/gaybians aren't valid", etc, but then proceed to say stuff like- "You can just say you're (mspec)sexual (mono)romantic or (mspec)romantic (mono)sexual!", "But nonbinary lesbians are valid!", etc. Like- you know that is one of the reasons why someone uses the mspec mono label, right? And that not every nonbinary person is afab and that multigender people exist, right?

It annoys the hell out of me- and my system members too

- Fry/Chat

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[the-lark-ascending69]

If Robin were a boy she'd be everyone's favorite character but since she's a girl she only gets to be Steve's gay best friend.

[dandyshucks]

experiencing my bimonthly (every two months) morality spiral of "it's bad that i like men, why am i not as attracted to women, i must be a misogynist if I personally am not as often attracted to women as i am men"

i would say i need to go touch grass to get over it but unfortunately I do that at least once a day and it does not seem to help 😔 (this second paragraph is half joke)

[maddy-ferguson]

Lmao polyamory organization slammed riverdale for portraying the polyamory relationship between the characters as a twist and surprising moment rather than portraying it as something that are part of their lives and natural progression. In that case you guys should watch ST where the gay ship is written as a secretive plot twist.

well if they reveal that mike and will have been together for the past year in a two-minute montage in the finale i'll call the gay organizations myself

[comradecowplant]

I would like to thank The Morning Show for feeding the millennial sapphics who always thought Elle Woods should have been with the intimidating brunette woman, I feel seen & heard 😌🙏

[fashiun-killa]

One thing about me is I am very unforgiving about politics. You can't befriend queer people while voting their rights away.

[hannibal-confessions-nbc]

Hey. Yeah. Perhaps "joking" about beating a gay man to death over as of yet unsubstantiated accusations of sexual harassment is not a good look. Just a thought. Fuck sake.

.

[skrunksthatwunk]

thoughts i forgot to add to the penis music poll bc you can't edit poll tags:

[puppmeo]

Every time i catch myself trying to become palletable to cishet people i legally have to become a bit more stereotypically queer

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

I'd rather the good place didn't have any queer rep than have one like that

[falseteeeth]

i feel shit today

[avatar-aaang]

eugh