#im functioning off of sleep deprivation alone

[demure2]

Blood is Thicker Than Wine _ TWO

> BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WINE [MASTERLIST]

— 1930s au

— yandere neighbor!chanyeol x reader || ft. best friend!sehun

— genre: angst, suggestive

— warnings: language, alcohol use, cigarette/substance use, mental illness, forced kiss, anxiety, blood, older fella neighborhood freak chanyeol

— word count: 3.0k

— note: another warning on this part for a forceful kiss at the end of this chapter. i think like another 1 or 2 parts with this and then im out. i hope anyone who reads this enjoys :3

The guilt accumulating in your gut eats away at your stomach like a corrosive, a caustic, acidic agent. You wanted to apologize for all that had happened last night, since you knew Sehun wouldn’t. Bad terms tasted bitter to you - and what could go wrong? This would be the only time you would ever substantiate it. Just once. Break the rules once. A breath of fresh air.

Mr. Park would have felt so good to know you were thinking about him this much. He almost feels filthy thinking about you, desire palpable in his hands. He needs to see you again, desperately.

Undeniably handsome. Broad and toned, sculpted shoulders with carefully allocated muscle. Tall, with large ears and moon craters for dimples. Though his eyes appear melancholic these days, his timid smile compliments them well. His black hair is well kept, sometimes slicked back and sometimes left down in the front. Recently he’s been staying up later to look out for the newspaper boy and the girl accompanying him, which has contoured his eyebags considerably. He’s so touch-deprived. Not many girls are in his line-of-work. 

But he hates that newspaper boy, Sehun. He left cowardly like a rabbit, with unfinished business behind. 

His breath hitches, knowing that he could take care of you better than Sehun ever could. Annoyance pulls at his eyebrows, furrowing them tightly. It makes him frustrated, feeling like a teenager again, blood rushing at the thought at how many times Sehun might have touched you the wrong way. 

In war-injury fashion, a traumatic incident had caused his right arm to lose partial functionality, in a position stuck at his torso. His fingers still retain some ambit of movement, but his stiff arm has taken away many other enjoyable things from his life, like sleeping on his side. 

That’s how you find him this Thursday night. He’s struggling to position himself in a way that doesn’t put pressure on his arm, shifting mundanely on his elbows deep in the grass of his front lawn. No one likes dandelion weeds, not in this town. Mr. Park was no anomaly.

Your lips part to greet him, but you just watch in silence instead. His eyes are distant and deep in thought, customarily maintaining his lawn. 

Yellow and blooming, they serve a symbol of constant ubiquity. And no matter how much weed-killer he drowns them in, they always come back for him. He ends up preferring to emerge at night, when the nightshade colors the ochre dandelions a cold gray, and the chartreuse grass an austerish blue. You shift your attention to the wilted flowers on the trellis instead. They look like daffodils, though they’ve lost their hue. They don’t look up at the sun anymore, only toward the shadows, diverging further toward the ground.

And so he can’t help but scoff when he reaches to the other side of his front gate to grasp a cigar butt not his, nestled neatly in an enclosed bed of yellow. Unharmed, it hasn’t been there for long. He crushes it briskly between his fingers, figuring it must have belonged to Sehun from last night. Pretty things are temporary, but ugly things are immutable.

You swear you’ll leave him alone with his garden, just tonight. There are no bonds thicker than good blood in this town, not even the horrible, horrible guilt that lulls you under. 

“Hey lady!”

“Hi Sehun,” you breathe barely, still exhausted from the night two days earlier. He doesn’t even catch you off guard. “Didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

He beams, “not my fault we live on the same street. What are you doing tonight? Been busy at the car shop all day. How’s the knee?” Sehun smiles apologetically.

“Fine,” you exhale. “You’re always talking about that car shop, but you’ve never shown me.”

“Never thought you’d be interested.” Actually, Sehun knows that you are interested, but he has to be cautious. ‘Goobers’ he’d call them, not just the car parts but also the group of boys he runs home to. Fools living in the basement of the local car shop. They’re raunchy boys; backs slick with car oil and grease, but toned in their own way. 

However grimey their unit may be, they get credit because they’ve been friends with him longer than you have. They’ve watched him grow up too, but into one of their own - into another to latch onto. Comparatively useless, but they always find a way to make it work. That’s how things are in this town.

“You gon’ answer me?” Sehun breaks your dejection, walking closer to you.

“I did,” you reply, snarkily.

“My other question. Whatcha doin’ tonight, so late? And what’s with the attitude, little miss mademoiselle mighty?”

“I’m on a walk. I’m not answering your second question.”

“Well, want an escort home?”

“Not yet,” you sigh. You almost want to say his phrase, that stupid ‘don’t bleed anything against me, ‘kay detective?’ but you’re interrupted. “Well, you know why I’m not gonna show you?”

“What, the car shop? Why, ‘cause you hate me?”

Sehun laughs, and turns to fully face you. “How ‘bout ‘cause you’re naturally flirty? Remember junior year at Heartland Senior High?” Your train of thought halts, “how do you even remember that, Sehun?”

He backs off, offended. His eyes squint at you in disbelief, at the edge of astonished laughter. “You got both of my two closest friends to fall in love with you at the same time. All that they would talk about for weeks, [Y/N] this, [Y/N] that. And you wouldn’t believe it,” Sehun puts both of his hands up in submission, like he has nothing left to hide. “I work with them at the shop now, so no chance,” he surrenders. He still has a lot to hide.

You smirk. “Say hi to them for me, then. Why don’t you give Junmyeonie and Yixing-ah a kiss on the cheek for me, too, while you’re at it.”

Sehun chokes out a derisive cough. “You know, I don’t think you’re naturally flirty like you say. I think it’s on purpose. If you met all of them, you’d be trying to look minxy for a group of guys that aren’t worth it, doll. That’s wasteful.” He’s laughing, but silence hangs in the air otherwise. 

 Returning his gaze, you sink your knees, hugging them. There’s ants on the pavement, backs shining under the orange street lamp. “I don’t try to be minxy or flirty or whatever. That’s weird. All of your friends are weird. They all got their own molls.”

Sehun dryly laughs, “I don’t have a moll. Neither do Baekhyun or Jongin … I guess Yixing’s been talking to a waitress recently. You say ‘molls’ like we’re gangsters or something, but we just run a couple of old flivvers and buckets.”

You should have fallen for him. Maybe you have, maybe you’ve been staring at his face for too long now. In that moment, Sehun shakes his head like he could hear you. But if he could hear you, nothing could have stopped him from shaking his head anyway. The cityline is like his mind, smothered in smog and jumbled regret.

“It’s late, I’ve got to get going. You can introduce me to your boys at a different time.”

Sehun reaches down to grasp your hands. His fingertips are rough and cracked, in desperate need of petroleum. He swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing defined by the harsh lighting. “O.K. Let’s go,” he spits, difficult to read. “Sorry Sehun, I wanna walk home alone tonight. Need some time to myself. I promise I’ll be nicer tomorrow.” He lets go immediately, feigning hurt features. At the very least, his features soften. He understands.

As soon as you leave Sehun’s line of sight, you twist your heel 180, back to the manor. You have to do this.

At first, the rush is strong and the wind aids you in your endeavor. Then it’s the wind that weighs you down, anchoring you to hesitancy. You pass street after street, searching for his.

You’d heard stories. When delinquents would wander close enough to catch a glimpse, he was usually unchanging and unassuming with solicitors. He was somnolent, tired, and always ready to flicker his eyes elsewhere, nonchalantly. His very own theatre masks. You’d even heard a rumor that Mr. Park was a 128 year old vampire - just 100 something years off, and the wrong kind of monster.

It’s 10 past 9 o’clock on the analog when you reach the two trees in front of the manor, concealing you from his aspect. They say you can’t break routines, but you’re not naive - you understand that seeing him there on his porch, off guard and vulnerable, was an opportunity for a new one. 

Hopefully that doesn’t happen. 

You can see through the leaves that a lengthy but shallow slash occupies his face, across his nose. He remains unbothered, glancing down at the book in his lap. Iniquity suddenly becomes thick in the air, and your gut tightens again. Your palms are sweaty and glisten with moisture underneath the moonlight. The scene clears as you hear a bark, weak and feeble, coming from his feet - a midnight poodle, and a sleeping maltipoo in his lap. It’s your ticket to leave, now or never. 

With ashamed hands, you reach the iron gates.

“Mr. Park.”

His head immediately snaps up from the print, his black wavy locs bouncing at the gesture. He’s as handsome as ever, dressed nicely in comfortable, satin apparel. His gaze hardens and he tilts his head like you’re familiar to him, but you know you haven’t made conversation yet. They’re menacing, and they push you to search him, but you can’t find anything. You reread his posture indefinitely, but you pull away again with empty fists. You almost turn your heel toward the opposite wind again, but he’s so jarring you can’t help but stay. 

You’ve broken a rule. It falls to your feet without any clanging or noise, just like that. You had spoken to the town weirdo, Mr. Park. 

He finally responds, tangible in the moment. “Sehun told you that my name was Chanyeol. You should call me that. I’m not that much older than you.”

You can’t help but retort, “how do you know his name?”

“Aren’t you dating him? And he hasn’t told you?” Chanyeol scoffs triumphantly, leaning back in his porch chair. He feels a wave of coolness wash over him, and he relaxes his posture - satisfied and complacent.

Does Sehun know this douche? “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Me and Sehun have never dated,” you lash, walking toward him now. You make sure to keep your posture upright, so he knows that you’re sophisticated and not afraid of anything he was able to pull.

You weren’t ready for Chanyeol to smile a shit-eating grin. 

The air is humid and dewy, and it becomes suffocating to breathe. It’s becoming easier to drown than to inhale now, and the petrichor on the grass doesn’t make it easier. Is this town always rainy?

“So, why are you here again?” Chanyeol nonchalantly quirks an eyebrow, uncrossing his legs on the chair. He phrases it quickly, like a proposal, ready to give you anything. He speaks your tongue and you speak his, yet whenever he opens his mouth, it’s so difficult to understand. It’s not disjointed or broken or slurred, but it’s never comprehensible to you. 

You’re so much more gorgeous in front of him.

“To say sorry.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol hums. The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. “You wanna, or you need to?”

“I need to,” you pant, being honest.

Chanyeol swallows, eyes not leaving your figure.

“I need to apologize for the other night,” you speak reluctantly, cautious and unsure of what you were even saying. “Sehun was being cruel. I didn’t intend for us to be on bad terms, we are neighbors, after all,” you say carefully. The concrete is abrasive on your heeled-kilt suedes and feels like burning tire underneath his gaze. Then, you don’t care: “but don’t try anything with us. I’ll rat you out the second you do.”

He smiles a smug smile. “Bunny’s so mighty in her heels, feels like you’re on top of the world with those extra four inches, doesn’t it? I just think it’s so cute when you say ‘us,’ like you’re defending your sweetheart even when he’s not here.” His voice makes your stomach twist, guttural, low, and full. “Don’t do that for him anymore, baby. He doesn’t know how to take care of you.”

Your eyes open wide. “What are you talking about? He’s NOT my sweetheart, and he’s NOT supposed to take care of me - drop it. Lastly, don’t call me that. Go to the head doctor and get out of my hair. I knew I shouldn’t have come here, you hound-”

He sharply hisses, fragmenting your spiel. “I'm the one in your hair? Hound? You gonna apologize for that too?” You take a few steps back, suddenly threatened. But before you can recoil too far, he leans forward and extends a cold hand to slither around your wrist. You’re in peril. No longer in control, if you were ever. 

He flashes another crude smile, jester and jekyll. You try to stay silently in place, but it’s difficult to resist his force pulling you towards him. Relief washes over you when gentle hands juxtapose his strength, sneaking around your waist to holster you onto the porch. He works to handle you with care. 

With a huff, Chanyeol reaches for a cigarette from his pant pocket with his functioning arm. It dangles between his fingers like a delicate trinket before aligning to the entrance of his lips. He lights it swiftly, before closing his eyes to breathe it in. You notice that he absorbs it the same way Sehun does, slowly with full focus. Do all smokers drown like that?

He chuckles before he opens his eyes, feeling your gaze. “Look away baby, I can’t have you taking in my bad influence. Your mommy already thinks we’re doin’ this and doin’ that. If your mommy finds out I'm smoking in front of you, she won’t let us spend time together anymore!” Your jaw clenches - was he mocking Sehun right now? 

He wryly grimaces, and a shiver runs down your spine, like a finger tracing where the bone pokes out of your skin. Momentarily, he resembles a cheshire cat, his teeth sharp and pearly. It leaves a bitter taste in your own mouth. He throws the cigarette on the ground, pulling you closer. “Aren’t you in your last years of college? I would like us to be friends, [Y/N]. How about a real man, everything that your boytoy isn’t,” Chanyeol muses. “I can be treat you real nice, how you deserve. We could really help each other out,” he says, simply.

You push off of him. “Tell me this, Chanyeol: I be your ‘friend’, and you get to toy with a woman, which you haven’t touched in years." Feeling red at his snarkyness, you tug on his shoulder. "But what’s in it for me? Listen to me when I say that I’m not interested in fucking you for cocaine. I'm not a prostitute-"

“Relax, strong stuff,” Chanyeol's eyes glint momentarily. “Didn't I say I would treat you right, the way you deserve? I forget everything that you and your boytoy said the other day, I keep my glock away from his mouth, and my name out of your mother’s. You help me clean for a little,” he thinks a little longer. “Keep me real nice company. And I’ll tell you all about what Sehun’s hiding. Sounds fair for a bargain?”

“Then I’ll do it,” you nod, skeptical. But you wouldn’t let it on. Sehun, hiding something?

“Do you have to be home tonight?” You look surreal standing before Chanyeol, tracing your curves mentally with his mind. You make him feel so filthy. 

“Not tonight. My parents think I’m at Sehun’s place.”

Chanyeol’s face twists into violent disgust. “Then I want you to stay at mine tonight. This is me forgiving you.”

“Sure.”

Chanyeol clears his throat, opening his front door. The cold air against your skin does the opposite of what you wished, awaking you from your hazy stupor. 

⇒

It’s a quarter past three o’clock on the analog. Your eyes are half-lidded, heavy with lethargy. You’d snuck downstairs, meaning to explore his house, like it would give you more insight into who he was. Feeling quite somnolent yourself, your pupils dart wearily between the twisted pillars of stained wood before picking one to follow the contour of. The balusters are carved beautifully, casting shadows just as pretty on the tile. When you find your gaze drifting downward still following the pillar, your vision lands on Chanyeol.

Uneven and choppy, his chest rises and falls. He’s sleeping on the velvet sofa.

Tonight’s moonlight works tirelessly with stained glass, streaming through the tall, arch windows while prisms reflect his every blink and breath into shades of blue. You approach him carefully, planning to glance at his sleeping portrait. 

He’s without a duvet, chin tilted toward his heart. his ears noticeably red and perky, and his hair is disheveled and messy. For the first time, Chanyeol did not look like the weird, rich neighbor down the street. He looked like a human, a real human, capable of empathy. Yesterday, it was a mistake. Today, it was untamable.

His eyes snap open, and you lunge backwards in surprise. Your heart stops momentarily. 

“Are you trying to leave me already?” Chanyeol seethes while sitting up calmly, scanning the dark room for your silhouette.

“No,” you start, exasperated. “I was blindly finding the bathroom when I saw you down here. I just thought you would sleep in your quarters," lying through your teeth.

Chanyeol hefts his weight off of the couch, standing up to find your small frame. It happens instantaneously:

Chanyeol leans down, and his plump lips crash into yours. Mangled between barriers of skin, you taste fresh between his teeth.

At first, he struggles to find harmony between his dryness and your candy lip balm, but his lips search deeper. He cups your face with both hands gently, fluttering his eyes closed. You thrust your hands toward his chest to shove him away, but his hands position at your jaw, pulling you closer. 

He pulls apart when you’re both winded, finally pushing himself away from you, looking away, even in the dark.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sickenly in love with you, [Y/N.]”

[midnightcrustcat]

agh okay fuck it im sharing a little bit of info about my fanfelts here as well (there are two more members but I'm not rlly sharing em atm wkjdsj)

okay so these guys are the dogs!!! they are a group of murder machines led by the lord of doom in my fanadventure I'm tryna work on stuff :]]]. They are all immortal because of the lord's power and most of em are stoic due to years of experience so yeah(tho also still prone to falling unconscious and such)

now w/ the members

I. Sphacelate (or simply, Sphac)

(He/him)

he's a sleep deprived fellas who's ability is to make anything he touch rot, and he also wears special gloves to prevent any accidents and stuff. he also wields a weapon which is a pair of daggers. when he's not working he's a pretty chill fella, also enjoys some good ol' jazz

II. Evocator (or Evo)

(They/Them)

very sinister and freaky fellow who never stops smiling, they enjoy their job the most here. their main ability is to turn anything alive or dead into a zombie and stuffs. their favourite weapon is a handaxe. they are a huge fan of intense horror stuff

III. Contagion

(Any pronouns)

they don't have any special abilities but are very immune to poisons and such, but because of that their saliva has became poisonous as well so prefer to eat/drink alone. his main weapon is a gas gun thingy w/ a secret flame thrower function. they also make lemonade but almost nobody wants to drink it

IV. Doc Beck(or just Doc)

(He/She)

no abilities in particular as well but they are the doctor for the bunch (and also the shortest member here), , , he rlly hates his job but he's also rlly good it ansnsns. his main weapon is a bone saw. he enjoys reading books and hanging out w/ Hypo n' Derry in his free time

V. Hypothermia (or Hypo)

(He/Him)

maybe the kindest member here?? his main ability is to freeze someone to death but he also uses his powers to make ice cream when he has the time to. his weapon is an uzi, yeah. he also shivers as a side effect of his powers

VI. Beheader (or Derry)

(He/It)

derry doesn't rlly have any abilities, tho he can sometimes, , , turn into a werewolf ig?? he's also the fluffies member in the gang, but dude also doesn't know proper manners. his main weapon that can switch between forms (executioner's axe/guillotine)

VII. Pestilence (or Pesti)

(He/Him)

guys main ability is to spread horrid deceases and infections and stuff so he's super dangerous to linger next to. cuz of his powers he constantly needs to wear his gas mask(only allowed to take it off for 1 hour every 12 hours). he also has a hard time talking so he sounds raspy as hell. no he doesn't have any weapons, he doesn't have a need for one. his head is lizard-like, even has a forked tongue.

VIII. Death

(She/They)

not a leprechaun but a first guardian from the same universe as the lord of doom. does the least fighting here cuz she doesn't rlly find a need to. collects souls and writes a lot of books on how every victim of the dogs has died, there are probably, , , a lot of books by now. enjoys some good ol' tea time and chit-chat

IX. War

(He/Him)

his main ability is to have an unlimited amount of weaponery, but it comes w/ a cost. he's a very grumpy and annoyed guy who's hated by most of the members. his favourite weapons to use are sables. he's short, lmao

X. Famine

(She/Her)

the most stoic member in the bunch, who also smokes a lot, and I mean A LOT, she's drenched in the smell of cigarettes but her voice is unaffected. her main power is to bring bad luck to ppl and stuff. her main weapons is a hammer and scales. huge idm and breakcore fan

okay that's all :]]]

[dreamcatcherfication]

We’re Lost and Delirious and Can’t Be Found - Part 2

You know when you’re so tired that your eyes start to turn red? That’s me right now. My body is dying. This is great.

But hello everyone! This is the second and final part to this two-part series requested by @katherinehxward a little while back. I wasn’t planning on posting this chapter so soon but I’m having trouble writing other requests, so I thought I’d get this out so I don’t have to keep track of it anymore. This chapter is... strange, to say the least, but I hope you all enjoy! Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, I officially have one braincell dedicated to loving women.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas. If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Original Prompts

Trigger Warnings: Violence, dead bodies, toxic behavior, mentions of sexual assault

Part 1

Cathy wiped away the sweat that was gathering on her brow. Despite the cold night air, she was still working herself up as she dug into the mound with Anne. If Anne was struggling, she didn’t show it, her eyes hyper focused on the dirt below her. The beheaded queen had come this far because of the answering machine, she wasn’t going to back out now.

The shovels made a clunking sound against the dirt at every scoop, the ringing echoing through the quietness around them. “Anne,” Cathy asked as she stuck her shovel back into the dirt. “Why are we doing this?”

Anne didn’t stop her digging, but she slowed down slightly. She didn’t look at Cathy as she responded. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Halting her shovel as it was stuck in the dirt, Cathy leaned against it. “It’s way too crazy Anne. We followed some freaky answering machine to a house we’ve never seen before, and now we’re trying to dig up a body. There’s no reason for us to be involved with this. Hell, we should probably just leave. Maybe even call the police!”

The digging continued. “I thought you didn’t want to call the police,” Anne remarked as she tossed a shovel-full of dirt to the side.

Playing with her jacket, Cathy nervously eyed the quickly dwindling mound. “Yeah, well they’re more equipped to deal with this than we are.”

“And they’re going to believe two reincarnated queens in the middle of the night who think they found a dead body?” Anne stopped to watch Cathy. “If we go to the cops, we’re going to look deranged. We don’t even know if there’s a body at all.”

“Exactly!” Cathy cried as Anne went back to digging. “We can still leave and forget any of this happened.”

Before Anne could respond, her shovel his something solid. She froze and turned to Cathy. “No,” Cathy glared at her. “Anne don’t do it!”

But Anne was already dropping to her knees and grabbing handfuls of dirt, chucking them away from whatever the shovel had hit. Cathy couldn’t do anything as she watched Anne uncover the body. There was an agonizing moment of stillness as Cathy waited for Anne to reveal what they had found. “Oh my God,” Anne choked when she cleared the dirt away from the face. “Oh my God!” she shouted, tears forming in her eyes.

Cathy was frozen as she saw the face of the body. “How is this possible?” she mumbled, her stomach squeezing tightly. She had to hold herself back from vomiting at the sight.

Frantically, Anne unburied the rest of the body, her movements erratic and disjointed. When the body was uncovered, Anne pulled it into her arms. “Oh I’m so sorry,” she mumbled, tears streaming down her face by now. “This can’t be happening.” Cathy stood motionless, watching the devastated Anne cradle the body. “Kitty, I’m so sorry,” she cried into her cousin’s limp shoulder. “It shouldn’t have been you.”

A cold anger rushed over Cathy’s body. “What do you mean Kitty?”

Anne looked up, her eyes red rimmed. “I didn’t think the body would be my cousin! How did she even end up here?”

“Kitty’s fine,” Cathy hissed, stalking over to Anne. “Digging must’ve made your brain delusional. Your cousin is safe at home. You’re holding Catalina, and maybe you should show some concern for her.”

Making a sound of confusion, Anne looked at the body in her arms, blinking a couple times. “No, it’s Kitty. Cathy, why are you being so insensitive? My cousin is dead -”

“My godmother is dead!” Cathy screamed, pointing at the body, “And you can’t even see that? Wake up Anne, I didn’t pin you as crazy.”

Slowly setting the body down, Anne stood up, her eyes narrowing. “I’m not crazy, Parr. You’re the one who wanted to back out. Maybe this is all your fault.”

Rolling her eyes, Cathy spat, “How would this be my fault?”

“I don’t know,” Anne cautiously eyed her ‘friend’, “But I’m going to find out. Maybe you killed Kitty and you’re trying to convince me that I’m crazy so you can blame it on me, huh?”

Scoffing, Cathy clenched her fists. “And why would I do something so outlandish to frame you? I don’t care about Kat! Catherine, my godmother Catherine is dead and I think that takes top priority.”

“You’re such a stuck-up bitch Parr,” Anne snarled.

“At least I’m not a whore,” Cathy shot back. There was a moment of silence between the queens as they stared at each other, completely ignoring the body below them. And then all hell broke loose as Cathy hurled herself at Anne. She tackled the girl to the ground, pinning her wrist down. “You never care about anyone but yourself!” she accused, clawing at Anne’s skin.

Flipping them over, Anne sat on top of Cathy and grabbed her shoulders in a tight grip. “At least I don’t get scared when things get hard.” Anne attempted to slam Cathy against the ground, but the writer resisted. She pushed Anne away from her, holding the girl at arms length. 

“You’ve never cared about any of us Boleyn,” Cathy screeched, twisting Anne’s wrists as best she could. “You deserved what you got!” The two of them huffed as they struggled to gain control over the other. A red rage had enveloped their minds, telling them to hurt each other. It was the only way they could win. Win what? Neither of the girls asked. 

Rolling away from Cathy, Anne grabbed a shovel. She stabbed it into the ground next to Cathy’s head, chopping off a couple hairs. “You only escaped the same fate by lying. How does it feel to be a liar?” Picking up the shovel, Cathy swung it at Anne who jumped away, avoiding being struck.

Throwing the shovel to the side out of both their reaches, Cathy pounced on Anne and started yanking at her hair, knowing how it would hurt the girl. “You’re calling me out on being a liar when you’re the one who played the King for years? You ruined people’s lives and didn’t even care what happened to them!”

Anne kicked at Cathy’s hand, causing the two of them to go stumbling away from each other. “Well you’re the one who married a rapist and let my daughter SUFFER!” She charged at Cathy, rage in her eyes. Something in Cathy snapped when she saw Anne coming at her. As soon as Anne was close enough, Cathy grabbed her by the collar and threw Anne to the ground. There was a loud crack on impact. Eyes going wide, Cathy watched in horror. What had she just done?

A groan of pain came from Anne on the floor. She slowly sat up, rubbing her back. “The hell was that?”

“I - I don’t know,” Cathy stuttered, glancing at her hands. “I would’ve never done that but -”

She was cut off by Anne reaching behind her and picking up the answering machine she had landed on and broken with her weight. The circuitry was visible to the girls now, the wires a mess and the plastic broken apart. “It’s cold,” Anne muttered, shivering as she dropped the machine to the ground. “It’s cold, Cathy.”

Collapsing onto the dirt next to Anne, the final queen ran a hand through her hair. “What was all of that?”

“I have no idea,” Anne replied, bowing her head. “But I… I’m sorry about what I said. And for trying to hurt you.”

Something in Cathy understood exactly what Anne was feeling. “It wasn’t you who said it. It was whatever came over us.” Her eyes subtly drifted to the broken answering machine.

Anne didn’t miss where Cathy’s eyes fell. “You think it was the machine?”

Cathy shrugged, unsure of herself. “It all seems a bit outlandish, doesn’t it? But how else would we have gotten here, why would we say all those things? Why would we have seen two different -” her voice cut off and her eyes expanded. “Catherine and Kat!”

Both her and Anne scrambled to their feet and rushed over to where they had left the body. Anne spotted it first and practically slid across the grass to get next to it. “Cathy!” she called the girl over so she could see what it was.

Instead of the freshly deceased bodies of Aragon and Kat, there was barely a pile of bones sitting next to Anne. There were bandages holding the bones together, but the skeleton seemed fake when put together with its bindings. “It’s not them,” Cathy breathed a sigh of relief.

“They’re both safe,” Anne agreed, setting the bones down.

There were so many questions left to be answered in the queens’ minds, but they knew deep down they would never be answered. Who had all the answers in life? No one really, and certainly not them. “I want to call this magic,” Cathy exhaled as the two of them started to re-bury the body. “But I don’t know what it was.”

“We don’t know a lot of things,” Anne replied, throwing her shovel to the side as she finished covering the dirt mound. “But I do know I’m sorry for the things I did and said when I wasn’t myself.”

“You’re not the only one,” Cathy replied sheepishly. “Look, about Elizabeth and Thomas -”

Anne put her hand up and cut off Cathy. “It’s been a long time Cathy. We’ve had time to move on from that. Please… please don’t bring it up again.”

Swallowing, Cathy nodded. “Alright Anne.” Picking up both discarded shovels, Cathy placed them on top of the mound. “Let’s get out of here.”

“And let’s never buy another antique again,” Anne forced a joke.

Cathy laughed for the sake of making Anne feel better. In reality, both of them could still feel a chill on the back of their necks as they left the mound behind them.

------------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@radcowboyalmondtree @boleynhowards @annabanana2401 @babeebobo @dont-lose-your-queerhead @everything-insanity @mindless-pidgeon @i-wanna-dance-and-sing-six @thedemidisaster @its-totes-gods-will @thatbolxyngirl @thenameisnoone @sixqueendom

[robinrequiems]

damian has insomnia, but he also has a really good boyfriend hcs:

• b4 dating jon, damian survived on the bare minimum of sleep, he had already worn makeup previously to hide bruises & cuts, so he also used it to hide the bags under his eyes from prying eyes ( jon )

• damian did try to sleep, he did, but between his vigilante work and other stuff, he just couldn’t, when he laid down, he felt up, or when he did sleep, the nightmares happens

• but whenever damian did sleep, it was always random, but his family members knew not to wake him up

• but the people in school didn’t. more specifically. jon

• “d? cmon get up, we gotta get to study hall.”

• all jon got was a whine. Damian whined at him as he slowly stood up. jon could see Damian’s droopy eyes

• “are you okay? you aren’t one to sleep during class”

• “‘m sleepy”

• jon frowned as that, during their study hall, they ( mainly jon ) ended up asking to go the library to study, and after finding a secluded corner, they sat down

• “did you not sleep or something last night? are you okay?”

• “not that much, im fine” damians words lacked bite, even though he intended for it to be harsher, hell, jon should’ve known something was up when Damian LET him carry his bag

• “if you want, you can go back to sleep, I’ll wake you for your next class”

• damian pondered that for a moment before he accepted it. he was just gonna sleep sitting up, but jon, in his glory, just threw an arm around him to hold him as damian snuggled up and fell asleep

• jon didn’t bring it up when it happened again, but he began taking notes on damian and his mannerisms, at least every two weeks, damian would have a day where he was sluggish or where he didn’t answer his phone ( damian was on his phone 24/7 or at least had it on him 24/7 )

• look, jon is not a complete himbo, he knows things

• but a month later, damian came in tired again, basically clinging to jon. jon had to take him to his classes and pick him up until after 3 periods where jon texted Tim ( only batfam member he knew would probably answer ) to pick him up

• TO TIM: “can u pick d up”

• TO JON: “y?”

• TO TIM: “he needp sleep he keeps nearly passing out”

• TO JON: “ok b there soon”

• jon ended up visiting damian after school, damian was now awake in his room, cuddled up in blankets and makeup wiped off

• “holy shit you look bad”

• “wow. hello to you too”

• “how— what the hell d?”

• damian could feel the disappointment rolling off jon

• oops

• but soon enough, jon realized a pattern, he knew damian would get defensive if he brought it up, so he didn’t

• instead he was just there for Damian

• when they became boyfriends, jon would just pull damian into his lap when they were alone and Damian would end up asleep. jons lap was comfy

• jon realized damian slept better with someone next to him, jon was a somewhat heavy sleeper, but whenever he heard damian shifting around in bed, he was up since it normally meant that damian was leaving ( to go sneak back into the manor ) or a nightmare

• when they weren’t with each other, jon would call damian and talk until damian stopped responding

• damian still had circles under his eyes, but it wasn’t as bad as before

• jon would lie awake with damian, just telling him stories or softly singing to him while damian fondly rolled his eyes

• jon realized damian fell asleep easier after socializing for a period of time, he gets socially drained and drowsy, there were times where damian just got on his back and fell asleep while jon continued socializing

• when Damian didn’t fall asleep, they’d normally just binge movies

• jon has caught damian lying about if he slept or not, damian may have trained both himself and his heart beat, but jon knows his best friend, but jon doesn’t bring it up, he knows it would only set his friend back

• when damians out in the sun all day, he gets tired, there was a time where he fell asleep at the beach and jon picked him up and threw him in the water / prior to jon finding out abt damians sleeping issues /

• jon nearly died that day

• jon realized that damian easily functions with little sleep, it’s sorta scary, but he just assumes it was his training from the league

• whenever damians asleep, he tries to not bother him, he makes sure to not bug him or to not move, he knows damian needs sleep

• jon got dames a stuffed animal that damian absolutely cherishes, it helps him sleep at night or keeps him calm after nightmares if jon isn’t there

• it took a while for jon to figure out how to help damian when’ a nightmare happens, but he figured it out eventually, he just had to be patient

• damian normally called him after a nightmare now, he realized jon was there, he didn’t have to hide himself away. jon talked him through it and didn’t care that he just woke up and was tired

• Damian’s his best friend

• damian confessed his feelings when he was sleep deprived + socially exhausted and then passed out

• jon didn’t bring it up until the next week

• “I was wondering when you would say something”

• “I didn’t want to embarrass you!”

• “you? Embarrass me? in your dreams”

• jon actusllt dealt with his own sleeping problems, not as bad as damians, but he had trouble falling asleep or dealt with nightmares

• but listening to damians heartbeat helped focus him, so that’s cool, plus sometimes jon can just roll over and holding damian ( if he wasn’t already ) and that makes him feel better. ( his nightmares revolve those who he could not save, whether that be civilians or his family/friends )

[honestlyitsjustsam]

I hope you don’t mind me asking but what is your head cannon on wake-up times for the protocol? Like who’s an early bird and who has to be drug out of bed at noon? Love seeing your little headcannons and ideas in the Val tag!

oh i dont mind!! and im glad you like seeing my posts :3 sometimes i feel like i spam them too much asdfgasdfasdfg

GOD ITS LONGER THAN I IMAGINED IM SORRY

okay so i believe Skye and Sova would def be early birds, the type of birds who also would go for a morning run together and talk about healthy life style... yuck crazy people

Chamber would be up early and would make sure he gets enough sleep and does his morning beauty routine or else he has eyebags and he will eliminate anyone who mentions them...slowly

Brimstone may be up early as well because he likes to meet the agents and its funny for him to see them all sleepy and messy asdfghj then they wake up fr and he makes them waffles and pancakes (mostly for Kj but shhhh)

Astra would be up early as well, she likes the quiet time before every agent is up so she can focus on her yoga and mindful exercises. oh and also she looves watching morning shows on TV which are all about gossip, she loves making fun of the concept and the people in it

Sage def is an early bird as well, i imagine she would wake up and after her meditation and a shower, def would make tea for herself and be tranquil with the day

Breach seems like the type to wake up whenever he pleases, like if he had a fun night and went to bed late he will wake up around afternoon but for a change, if he went to bed early he might wake up at noon, dont think he would be up early usually unless its Sova’s turn to make breakfast i feel the same for Reyna tbh, her waking up routines change whenever she wants to

i dont think Cypher and Viper would sleep..like at all. insomnia is a terrible thing and they both have inner demons which keep them up late at night. so until they cant function properly, they dont sleep which causes them to be up in the morning when everyone is just up. they might think these two are early but in reality they didnt even go to bed yet.

i think kj would sleep at late but wakes up early, she is the type of a person who is content with 4-6 hours of sleep. like it doesnt bother her, she may feel fatigue due to her late night hardworks but that tiredness isnt about the lack of sleep she gets.

raze on the otherhand would again work hard until midnight but sleep until midday as well to a point where kj would need to bring her breakfast because she missed it..My girl isn't sleep deprived; she simply enjoys sleeping.

Neon would be up early as well, but only because she doesn't sleep late; she sleeps at 10pm and wakes up at 9am. She also enjoys running and prefers to do it alone, so since Skye and Sova would be up at 6am, 9am is an ideal time for her.

even tho kayo is powerful, i believe kj would make a charging pod for him asdfghjsdfg like he wouldnt need to sleep but he needs his radianite core to be recharged so he would plug himself in and rest

i believe omen however does not need to sleep, like ever. he doesnt get tire because he doesnt have flesh or a nerve system so he really doesnt need to do anything at night but knit. omens existence is a little bit confusing to me but i see his body as a idk some sort of unstable material plus shade ig idk idk (but he never says no to bigspoon Cy and wake up next to him...)

i think Phoenix might wake up early as well because he looks like he enjoys life and wants to be alive truly, his job is to go and get his gf first because jett tends to be lazy in the mornings and if you dont wake her up she might go and sleep the whole day. so a kiss on the lips is enough for her to wake her up, then they go and visit their bf

yoru has to be the one Phoenix and Jett drug out of the bed, i always thought the dimentional drift to tire him so whenever he has fatigue he just dozes off and wakes up like 20 hours later, his lovers are worried for him :(

fade is a laaazy person, she wakes up late and whenever she wants BUT on sundays she has to be up early because hey sunday breakfast!! a sacred tradition for generations and then she will probably bother Cypher and wont leave him until he eats his breakfast

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Fuck Titles.

Shigaraki and Dabi both see the news at the same time. Dabi getting a alert on his phone due to following the Hawks tag and telling Shigaraki to turn on the TV. It’s a recap by the timethe get to it and the anchor woman praises Keigo for getting back up after going down hard.

Keigo dosen’t stay to let the paramedics check him over, he never does.

Dabi really wants to chalk it up to being a aplha pride thing but he knows keigo is probably already being called away on his headset to assist with the next disaster.

“don’t they ever let him get a break? he just used up aton of feathers and no one even blinks at him going from disaster to disaster?” Shigaraki scowls. He had a bit of a soft spot for Keigo after meeting him a couple times.

“No, they don’t” Dabi sneered. Fucking hero commission, taking the one good hero they had and buring him out.

“He’s coming here tonight.” shigaraki stated watching the alpha he was more than a little attached too get knocked out of the air again. this time in slow motion as a diffrent anchor commented on how pretty he looked as he fell.

“Agreed. I don’t like the idea of him in his apartment alone and possibly injured.” Dabi took out his phone and started rapidly texting.

“let me know what he says.” shig muttered and turned off the TV.

“probably injured, he’s avoiding telling me if he’s hurt and says to tell you we’re cute when you worry.” dabi frowned.

“tell him he’s avoiding the question and thats unattractive in a alpha.” Shigaraki shot back and stood up.

“come on, lets build him a nest to come home too.”

“both of us?” dabi asked as he took a selfie flipping off the camera.

“well he’s been flirting with both of us so he should learn to step up or shut up.” shigaraki’s hand was incercepted on its way to his neck by dabi.

“if you start bleeding keigo will never sit still long enough to get his own injuries checked.” dabi points out.

“stupid fucking alpha.” shigaraki muttered as he dragged dabi into his room. Dabi spent most of his time at the base in here with him anyays so it was bassiclly theirs.

building the nest itself went smother than either expected. Shigaraki was quick to explain why he wanted things a certain way when he changed things and dabi didnt want to change much to begin with. it ended up being half a lesson on nest building and half teasing shaigaraki on how picky he was.

“you cant have the chickling right there, thats got to be another pillow. keigo’s going to be inbetween us so his wings dont hang over the edge.” shigaraki threw the plush at dabi.

when it was done Dabi shoved Shigaraki so he fell back into the nest on one side and he threw himself into it on the other side.

“i still can’t get over how nice these are.” Dabi muttered into the fluff pile.

suddenly there was arm around both omegas and a warm heavy weight across their backs. Keigo’s wings, about half their regular size, one each laying over a omega on either side.

“th-this was for me right? im sorry i just- i didnt thin- are you two?” keigo stuttered and lossened his grip. raising his face out of the blankets where he had speed to flop as soon as he had seen the two omegas and the oversized nest.

neither of them heard Keigo come in to the room.

“you were flirting with both of us so in shig’s words, ‘step up or shut up.’“ dabi relaxed back into the nest again.

“yes it’s for all 3 of us dipshit. let me see your fucking side. you went down hard.” shigaraki decayed keigo’s shirt wihout thinking about it.

keigo stiffened and snapped his wings close to them. covering his sides.

“kei, how bad is it? we can’t patch you up if you dont let us see.” dabi sat up and poked at keigo’s wing. worry seeping into his voice.

“i- its- look-” keigo stuttered before giving up and burrowing his head into the middle of the nest.

“itfsfeneihudtgavefurtits” he refused to raise his head as he tried to reassure them both.

“keigo i swear to god. if your hurt and trying to hide it,” Shigaraki growled deep and menacing.

“im fine, i just have four fucking tits okay?” keigo pulled his head out of the nest.

“i mean i have a second set of pectoral muscles to help with flying. i only scrapped my side earlier and i already got it healed by someone with a medical quirk.

“then fucking let me see it.” Shigaraki carefully pulled at keigo’s wing. he could deal with the extra set of chest muscles keigo had later, right now he just wanted to check on the wound he should have had.

dabi on the other hand had frozen.

“can we go back to the four pecs thing? because i for one would like to see that please.” he tried to play it off likea joke but the scent comeing from him said he as actually very interested in the idea.

keigo sat up in suprise and Shigaraki wasted no time in touching the area he had injured.

“did dabi just say please or was i halucinating from sleep deprivation?” keigo stared.

“yeah i know ive never heard him say it either.” shigaraki leaned back satisfied his alpha was fine.

“okay that’s super hot. i did not know i would be into that.” dabi muttered but laid back down and tugged keigo down with him.

“its weird”keigo muttered and tried gently pulling shigaraki down with them.

“we can prove how hot we think keigo is later when hes slept and can function.” shigaraki outright snuggled close into keigo’s side after he pulled on his gloves.

“right, nap first.”

“you two are crazy, how did i get so lucky?” keigo muttered and fell asleep a few seconds later. 

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[ad1thi]

Foxhole, bramble patch, bumble bee!

foxhole: where do you go when you need to be alone or feel safe?>i don’t tend to go to a place as much as a person. Generally my bestfriend, but sometimes its my mom- or just whoever’s there at the time. Idk ive never really associated places to feelings; its always been people. That being said, my maternal grandparents’ place is always somewhere I love going to, and I’ve even been considering buying the house off them in a couple of years because it gives me a strong sense of family and home that I don’t really get anywhere else

bramble patch: how many hours of sleep is ideal?|>Honestly, I can sleep for almost an entire day, which is why- for me personally; I function the best on very little sleep. I’m on of those people who, if I fall into a deep sleep, I can’t wake up properly; so I need to be woken up within 3 or 4 hours before I hit that deep sleep. but that leads to sleep deprivation im just a very complicated individual

bumble bee: what was your best subject in school?>I was actually quite good at everything? I was one of those kids, but grades wise: i got a really high A in my Economics A Levels which im quite proud of

//

woodland asks

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!I.N (Jeongin) 

MASTERLIST 

WOOT WOOT

Little Jeongin!

This is gonna be so damn fluffy watch out 

Here we go!!!

Ok so Jeongin is shy at the best of times

So God help this poor child while he has a crush on you

He won’t even be able to talk to you properly

Most likely runs away whenever he gets embarrassed

Which is very often

Just

Can’t function

If one of the members even try the subject of his crush on you when you’re in the room

He lets instinct take over

And he dolphin screams to distract everyone

As people look in his direction

Because he is hella loud

He’ll scream again and die on the inside

Why can’t I think straight with y/nnnnn

He’d be so frustrated with himself

He’ll probably mentally slap himself every other second when he talks to you

Why did you say that? What is y/n gonna think of you?! IDIOT

I highly doubt he’d confess to you himself

At least in person

One of the members probably told you

So you went to see him

And scared the bejesus out of him when you asked if it was true

But he eventually nodded and confessed and VERY quietly asked you out this baby my God save him

To which you OBVIOUSLY said yes

And he probably jumped around happily to your response

Tried to stay cool, because he is Mature™

But as soon as you were not around he’d scream with happiness and run around because he is a ball of energy and he’s gonna explode

He’s whipped, your grace

Dates with Jeongin

Is it really such a mystery?

So so SO soft

His first date with you was going to a carnival

Because he made it his new goal in life to win you a stuffed toy

And win your heart forever

Little did he know that had already happened

Got really grouchy when he didn’t win anything

But immediately felt better when you both had something to eat who doesn’t feel better with food?

Forgot how to human when the date came to an end

And you kissed him on the cheek

Half as a joke, he collapsed onto the ground in a heap of giggles not really a joke it was genuine

He was, at that moment, the happiest boy to walk the planet

You can probably guess that this kid is too shy for PDA

But he’s all for hand holding wherever you two go

He really loves to swing your arms back and forth like children cause that’s what you are

Sometimes will peck your cheek if he’s feeling bold

If you initiate skinship out and about, he’s gonna turn a dark shade of red

But will hold in his squeal thank goodness

If the members tease him for being shy

Because where’s the lie

He’ll greet you and become insanely clingy

If you ask him why he won’t tell you

“I just really really really wanted to hug you”

“Jeongin you’ve been clinging onto me for 10 minutes, are you okay? And what if the boys tease you”

“They won’t I’m proving a point”

“Say what?!”

First kiss.

You’d think it’d be you who would have to make the first move right?

Wrong.

So freaking wrong

Because realise: once he makes his mind up about something, Jeongin carries his decision through to the end

And he decided to make a certain evening walk in the park very special

You were walking around, and it had gotten dark, only a few street lamps lit your way

You were both talking about absolute nonsense, laughing at each others jokes etc

And then he suddenly became very serious

“Can I ask you a favour? It’s really important to me…”

You got kinda nervous, because when was the last time Jeongin managed to keep a strait face like that?

From his pocket he pulled out a chain bracelet, with a pretty but subtle pattern on it. “Can you wear this? For me? And whenever you’re sad, or scared, look at it and think of me, and I can protect you”.

You were absolutely dumbstruck, so you just quietly let him out the bracelet on

You were about to cry as well

He showed you a second one which he had on his own wrist. “I want this to be something special between us”

And then he siezes the moment

And connects his lips with yours

Very gently

He kisses you so delicately, like you’re made of ice, about to break

When you part, he smiles softly

And starts walking again, calmly

Making you stand there confused af

Like where tf is shy Jeongin? Who is this?

Spoiler alert, it’s I.N, not soft Jeongin

Oh lord prepare yourself before meeting the rest of SKZ

Physically and mentally

Knowing them they’ll probably try to lift you up and get you to crowd surf

While still teasing the Maknae

They’ll be so protective of you, just like with Jeongin

You have become family, don’t doubt that for half a second

You are also now in charge of being the mood lifter for Jeongin

And his reassurance

Especially if he’s sick

Because he gets really tired whenever he so much as catches a cold, because he refuses to stop working and rest common sense who?

And when he’s tired, he thinks way more negatively

You were once alone with him in the practice room, and he was trying to improve a few moves to a really difficult choreography

For a while he kept smiling like the child he is, staying positive

But after trying over and over, having to catch his breath from fatigue, having trouble breathing from a blocked nose, he still couldn’t get the moves right

And out of pure exhaustion and frustration, he burst into tears no judging I’ve had this it’s painful

You immediately went over and hugged him tightly, reassuring him and calming him down

You both sat together on the floor, until he wasn’t upset anymore, but you still refused to let him practice after that

You took him home and looked after him until he passed out that night

The members were confused af as well 

“What’s wrong with Jeongin?”, asked Chan, being his usual protective-leader self

You replied simply because you didn’t want to upset the other boys. “He got frustrated at the dance he’s learning, and was exhausting himself, so I dragged him home to sleep...”

They were all really grateful the you were looking after Jeongin so well, and their love for you with the Maknae you only grew

Now this boy is not at all afraid of speaking his mind

So you two basically leave everything out in the open

No secrets

If one of you is pissed at the other, you will freaking say that you’re pissed at them

You don’t hold back

So then you can both talk rather freely about why you might be pissed

Basically what I’m saying is that fights are super rare

Because they don’t even get a chance to start when you two are so open with each other

So at most you bicker over food

But there are times

Like I said, insanely rarely 

Jeongin doesn’t tell you how much he’s struggling

He doesn’t want to seem like he’s complaining too much so he stays quiet about his worries about being an idol

It’s a bit like his situation during The 9th: he doesn’t want to burden anyone about feeling down, so he keeps a bright smile on his face

You kinda sense that there’s something up, but he convinces you for a long time that he is totally fine 

But when it becomes too much 

Being tired, frustrated, stressed and worked to the bone, and he still hasn’t said anything to anyone

He’ll break and yell at you over something not even worth yelling about

It’ll shock you so much that you’ll flinch away from him

He won’t just yell at you 

He’ll yell about how tired he is, about how unfair he thinks it is that he can’t learn a dance as quickly as anyone else

He’ll yell about everything and nothing

You understand quickly that he’s letting of steam, getting it all off his chest 

So once he’s quiet again, breathing heavily, crying silently

You’ll hug him gently, and reassure him that you’re there no matter what and that he can ramble and complain all he wants with you

NO MORE ANGST IM OUTTA HERE

He tries to force you to watch Mukbang, until you threaten him that you’ll secretly feed him black beans

You both love blasting Bruno Mars in the dorms, driving SKZ up the wall as you sing at the top of your lungs

He’ll try to teach to sing trot like him

But you both know that you’ll never be as good at singing it as him

He loves texting you whenever he has a spare half-second

He always gets in trouble with the other members because as soon they stop what they're doing, he's off to get his phone

“Where did Jeongin go”, asked Woojin. “He was here a second ago...” 

Chan sighed. “I can take a guess. JEONGIN PUT THAT DAMN PHONE DOWN!” 

He uses his Maknae Influence™ to get our of trouble lol

You both like to try and cook together

Doesn't really work

You usually end up making a mess

Or if you’re baking something

Like cookies

You'll end up eating all the batter before it even reaches the oven

Stray Kids will be deprived of cookies RIP 

When you suggest him meeting your family

He gets super nervous

But refuses to show it

You'll kind of pick up on his attitude

The way he answers questions on the matter so directly and seriously

But you're too kind and high-key impressed to point it out 

But when he does meet your fam he's super smiley and actually seems genuinely comfortable 

You on the other hand

Get hella stressed when you're supposed to meet his parents 

Will they approve? 

Will his brothers like you? 

As soon as you voice your concerns to Jeongin

He hugs you, reassuring you that they'll all adore you

He couldn't have been more right

His parents are so so sweet and love you from the word go 

Both his brothers love you just as much

Especially his younger brother, who just idolises you 

It’s so cute

You immediately exchange contacts and stay in touch

Jeongin ended up making a group chat with you and his bros because he was so excited that you got on so well

His favourite thing to do in the evening with you is just watch a random show

From a K-Drama to a weird comedy neither of had ever seen

He just likes relaxing with you, usually with your legs draped over his lap 

Probably screamed the first time you walked over wearing one of his jumpers

“ISN'T THAT MINE?”

“Oh, sorry I'll go put it back...” 

“DON'T YOU EVEN DARE I LOVE IT” 

Low-key snuck his hoodies into your closet just so he could see you wear them

But as soon as you brought it up

He'd refuse to give any answer on the matter

“What are you talking about? You must have stolen them yourself, thief”.

“Alright, I'll give them back, then”.

“No no, you stole them, so you must keep them”

“... Right” 

The first time he said 'I love you’ resembled your first kiss 

He had thought about it and planned it out 

The plan didn't really work

He'd meant to cook something for you

And watch your favourite movie 

And surprise you by just saying ‘I love you’ casually

But he messed up dinner

Accidentally spilled too much salt into the dish

So instead ordered takeout from your favourite place

Then 

Just because the universe was against him, for some unknown reason, the movie wouldn't work

So you ended up watching something else

And he was about to give up and plan for another day

But it just kinda slipped out?

“I'm sorry I couldn't make this a perfect night”, he said, dejected. “I wish I could just... easily show you how much I love you...” 

Sort of panicked after he said it

He started stuttering while trying to explain himself

Until you kissed him to shut him up

Telling him that you loved him too

And that's how he had a happiness heart attack

This bean will go public after a couple of years

He posted a photo of you smiling brightly in a cafe

With a simple caption: 'Love you so much’ 

Now naturally the internet is gonna die because hello?

Little baby Jeongin is dating?! 

But after a few hours of commotion there's gonna be something unexpected

People will recognise you 

From clips in SK TALKER

They'd seen the two of you

Just barely within the view of the camera 

Messing around and playing a bunch of games to pass the time

Some had naturally insisted that you two were dating

But you were mostly just written off as Jeongin’s best friend who had come to see him a few times backstage

But now that he had officially announced your relationship

There were A LOT of people saying 'I told you so’ on the internet

Whoops

Low-key, kpop fandoms area group of mini Sherlock Holmes’

He becomes so happy at the very mention of your name

Low-key hopes in every convo that someone will bring you up

Just so that he can talk about you nonstop

He talks a lot about you

SKZ always get a real earful

Especially when they’re away

He'll never stop talking about you which pisses pretty much everyone off

His coping mechanism for being away from you is just to recap a bunch of his favourite moments with you

So naturally anyone within earshot of him will hear a bunch of cute stories about you two

Right up until the moment he sees you again

Thank heavens the rest of SKZ will say as they watch the Maknae crush you in a hug, giggling excitedly

All in all, you two have a soft af relationship

With lots of giggles, cuddles surprisingly, and a lot of love

Can I please just get a Jeongin?? 

There we go! That concludes my soft-ass day! 

Now, I’m going away on holiday (sooner than I thought I would), but that’s not gonna stop me from writing! There’ll just be a few posts that won’t be on the Masterlist for a while. But as soon as I get access to any computer, I’ll update the Masterlist :) 

[canimumblr]

March 12 cannot come soon enough.

Why?

Because I have an appointment to get back on my anxiety meds.

It’s been so bad lately. At the party I literally sat on the porch alone for like 45 minutes because I was so anxious. I had a drink which I had left in the living room and it ended up staying there for over an hour because I was so anxious I couldn’t bring myself to walk back into the living room to retrieve it. Nor could I bring myself to go into the busy kitchen to get another drink.

One of husband’s bandmates was really kind. He came in while my husband was playing music with some other people at the party and sat with me to make sure I was okay, offered to talk if I needed to, to leave me alone if I wanted space, or just to sit in silence if I needed company but wasn’t up for talking. He sat with me just letting me talk through my anxiety until my husband finished up his jam session and came in to keep me company and get me a drink.

I literally couldn’t function until I’d had enough alcohol to stop the anxiety.

And that’s fine when I’m not with the baby, but I can’t do that all the time, nor do I want to go back to a habit I had a few years ago of getting tipsy two or three nights a week just to silence my brain. That’s not the kind of coping mechanism you can have when you’re a parent, y’know?

But it’s been awful. Hell, I called in to work yesterday because of such severe sleep deprivation that I wouldn’t have been safe to drive--sleep deprivation that was caused in part by my anxiety. 

And then all day yesterday I spent in bed trying to keep myself from having a panic attack. I know I wasn’t all there for Olivia, which I hate. I felt like a subpar (at best) mother, because she wasn’t getting my attention like she deserved, and I had the TV on in the background all day long just so I could have some noise to drown out the anxiety. I had to have my husband come to bed with me last night and rub my back for a while to even get to sleep. Now I’m awake and at work and I feel sick to my stomach like I have for the last week and a half. I just want everything to shut off for a while.

My anxiety is making me worse at my job, making me less of a mother than I want to be, less of a wife than I want to be, it’s affecting my friendships and making it hard for me to really be there for people I care about, it’s just this constant noise that distracts me from everything so I can never really focus on anything. It hasn’t been this bad in a few years. 

And I know meds won’t fix it right away. I’m dreading the adjustment period while I figure out what the right dose is (because I doubt they’ll just put me right back on the full dose I was on before). But I need to be able to look forward to some stability. I’m not okay right now. I just want to spend the whole day in bed. I wish I could afford to take a leave of absence from work until I start to feel like I can manage things.

[thedyslexicbard]

Mean Girls Part 2

A/N okay so part one blew up in two days so  wow thanks so much and i have been requested for a part two  so here it is if you want more just ask ill be happy to and if you want to be tagged by all means just ask 

Wednesday Lunch

“Look at you that top is so cute Y/N” Liz exclaimed as Y/N sat down at the table 

“thanks erm i think its Gucci-” 

“SHUT UP !! let me see the tag” Liz stood rounding the table to look at the tag on Y/N top “holy shit its even better its the Chanel knit sweater ” Liz screamed sitting next to Y/N 

Beckie leaned in in began to speak in a hushed tone “well seeming as you are one of us now its time to lay down some ground rules: Number one You cant wear a tank top two days in a row, and only have your hair in a pony tail once a week and you chose today which is fine.” Y/N smiled

 “oh and we only wear Jeans or track suits on Friday's oh and if you break any of these rules you cant sit with us at lunch and not just you but any of us so like if i was wearing jeans today i would be sat over there at the weirdo table” 

Beckie motioned to the table Ned and Peter were being adorable dorks

 “oh and we always vote to see if you can eat lunch with us because you have to be considerate to the rest of the group, like you wouldn't by a skirt without asking us first if it looks good on you”

“i wouldn’t” Y/N became lost she had no idea this is normal girl world stuff she just lived on 5 cups of coffee, 2 hours of sleep and mainly spent free time in the Lab with her dad  or helping the Avengers on missions being the ‘guy in the chair’

“Exactly” Beckie Finished tucking into her salad, Y/N was overwhelmed with information 

for the next 2 minuets the table sat in silence Y/N Looked over at Peter he had his right hand holding his head whilst he dreamily watched his girlfriend Y/N let out a giggle waving to him, he noticed and nearly choked on his sandwich as he fumbled around trying to wave back Y/N stifled her laugh earning her a questionable look from the plastics. Liz opened up her sandwich 

“hey is Butter a carb?”

“what?” Y/N was confused she could understand her dad asking this question when he was sleep deprived and running off gluten free waffles but the ex head of the decathlon was a new level,

“Ugh whatever im getting cheese fries” Beckie watched Liz leave for the line before asking 

“So Y/N got you eye on any guys here?”

“errm well peter and I have been dating for a few months-”

“OMG NO You can’t Date Peter he was Lizs ex boyfriend he left her at homecoming alone! friends ex boyfriends are of limits to friends thats like the rules of feminism  

“thats not it works”

“i wont tell Liz what you said it will be our little secret”

“what secret?”Liz spoke her mouth full of chips 

“oh you know th-”

“OMG you should totes invite Y/N to your house tonight liz” Britney interrupts twirling her hair between her fingers  

“totes, so do you wanna come over?”

“oh errm ill have to-” Y/N hesitated 

“great see you after school” and with that Liz, Beckie and Britney left in unison.

“Hey Y/N how was being a plastic?” peter slung his arm Y/N planting a kiss on her temple, 

“horrible i bet” MJ answered with a smirk 

“horrible is an understatement she thought butter was a carb and now i’m invited to go over to her house tonight” Y/N whined dropping her head in hers hands 

“but tonight is Lego and star wars night!!” 

“Yeah Y/N you said you were going to help me and Ned finish the new rebel base” Peter looked at his girlfriend pulling her into a hug 

“god you three are such nerds anyway see you nerds later”

“Bye MJ,, Look i tried to get out of i really did and-” before y/N could finish Liz, Britney and Beckie pulled up in a porche

“GET IN LOSER WERE GOING”

“ill see you later” y/n Kissed peter goodbye before getting in the car 

“Wow your house is so nice” Y/N commented looking at the modern structure  trying not to sound mean 

“i know right” Liz said smugly strolling to the front door before Y/N could follow Beckie pulled her to one side 

“make sure you check out her moms boob job there hard as rocks” Y/N was shocked by the comment as she continued into the house she followed the plastics to the kitchen

“im home” Liz shouted  the sound of music blasted from the tv as an older woman dressed head to toe in a pink velvet track suit emerged from behind the counter 

“Hey, hey, hey how are my girlfriends?” she smiled 

“Hey Ms. Toomes this is Y/N Stark” Beckie greeted motion towards Y/N

“well hello” sh 

“Oh hi”

“Welcome to our home Y/N” she walked towards Y/N embracing her into a hug ‘Holy Shit this is like trying to hug dad in his suit’ Y/n thought as the woman crushed her with her chest 

“i Just want you to know if you need anything don’t be shy okay.. there are no rules in this house im not like a regular mom im a cool mom right liz”

“please stop talking”  Liz smiled walking towards her room with the others in tow 

“okay im gonna make you girls a hump day treat ” she called after them 

“This is your room?” Y/N asked, compared to hers it was kind of small she moved around the bed looking at various pictures and books Liz had on the shelves 

“well it was my parents room before dad got locked up so i got it instead” Liz took off her shoes and headed towards the mirror 

Y/N noticed a picture of Peter and Liz on homecoming she felt a pain shoot through her body Why would she have a picture of peter and her together? she thought before being interrupted 

“omg i like love this song, Hey Y/N do you even know who sings this?” Liz asked as she noticed Y/N looking at the picture

“err the spice girls?” Y/N didnt care she only listened to old rock songs or anything that her dad was playing in the lab 

“haha omg that’s so cute shes like an alien” Liz laughed 

“OMG My hips are huge” Britney cried 

“oh please i hate my calves” 

“Ugh at least you can wear halters i have man shoulders” Liz whined

Y/N only new a person could be either fat or skinny but since knowing the plastics she found that so much could be wrong. Y/N train of thought derailed as all three of the girls looked at her “Oh um i have really bad sense of fashion” before anyone could comment Lizs mom entered the room 

“Hey you guys happy hour is from 4 to 6″ Ms Toomes walked in carrying a tray of  cocktails, the girls each took one Y/N looked at the red concoction#

 “hey um is there alcohol in this?” Y/N asked hesitantly picking up the glass if her dad found out she had even a drop of alcohol before her 21st birthday there would be hell to play   

Ms. Toomes gasped “oh god hunny no what kind of mother do you think i am ... why do you want a little bit if you are going to drink id rather you do it in the house”

“Oh no thank you” Y/N sipped the cocktail avoiding eye contact with the woman 

“Oh my god look at this” Britney sighed pulling out a pink book labled ‘Burn Book’

“ugh i haven't looked at that in ages”

“come check it out Y/N its our Burn Book we cut out girls pictures from the year book and write stuff about them” beckie and britney flipped through the pages “Mary Jane the-” 

“wait who is that next to her” Britney asked pointing to Ned 

“oh that’s Ned hes to Dorky to function” Y/N said earning a laugh from the girls 

“thats funny put that in” Liz  laughed ‘oh shit i guess it was only okay when peter and MJ said it’ Y/N thought “hey errm thanks for inviting me over but i have to go” 

“so soon such a shame Y/N well see you tomorrow!” Liz pouted hugging Y/N goodbye 

“Hey screwdriver how was school?” Tony greeted his daughter as she entered the tower Y/N threw herself on the couch face first getting a sympathetic pat on the head from Nat 

“horrible this sweater is so itchy, i had dinner with the three stooges and i was asked if butter was a carb” 

“is it a carb?” 

“SHUT UP BARTON” Tony and y/N shouted in unison at Clint who threw his hands up in response,

A/N: Heck this was slightly longer than i anticipated but here it is mean girls part 2 enjoy i had a lot of fun writing this i might do a part 3 if you want XX ~Jess

[andthelightbulbclicks]

Hi! Looooveee your writing, you're so talented!! Anyway, im still sad that bellarke are separated for 6 years , could you do one where Clarke made it back in time to leave with the rest of the gang + bellamy , and like, how it would be if she were with them ? that would be cool. ❤️

Hi! Thank you, you are so kind!! This was interesting to write, since my hiatus project is all about them in canon-verse during those six years, but it was fun to think about.. Thanks for the prompt :D [ao3]

“It’s now or never,” Raven tells him, regret in every wordshe speaks.

Bellamy looks towards the upper level again, silently begging.Come on Clarke, come on Clarke.

“Just,” Bellamy says, refusing to look away from thelanding, “just one more minute. Give her one more minute.”

Raven sighs behind him, and he can hear her shuffling at thedoorway of the ship. “Sixty seconds. We can’t even afford that. I’m going tostart launch, if you’re not in here in the next fifty seconds, I won’t be ableto stop it from leaving you too.”

Bellamy nods, eyes laser focused on the spot where Clarkeshould emerge, where she will emerge.

He hears the others’ voices echoing out from the ship, buthe can’t focus on them when he hears a loud crash from up above, right fromwhere the lab’s entrance to the outside is.

And then, he sees the most beautiful sight in his entirelife – Clarke, practically clawing her way towards the railing.

He opens his mouth, ready to holler to her to hurry the hellup, they need to go now, when she spieshim, and freezes right at the top of the stairs.

“What are you doing?”She yells, sounding angrier than he’s ever heard her.

He doesn’t even have time to be confused before he picks upon the absolute fury lining every part of her body as she barrels down thestairs and straight towards him. Bellamy can do nothing but watch as shereaches him, and grips the front of his suit as best as she can through herthick gloves.

“Bellamy Blake,”she growls, chest heaving with every breath she takes, “get on that goddam ship!”

He’s so focused on accepting the fact that she’s actuallyhere, that she made it, that it takeshim a second for his eyes to catch on the crack in her helmet and the raw panicin her eyes. And he knows she’s not scared for herself.

She’s petrified for him.

So he forces his legs to move, both of them dragging eachother along until Clarke shoves him in front of her to climb the stairs to theship. She keeps pushing him, following right behind him until both of them areplowing into the ship and everyone else is staring at them in silent shock.

“It’s about fucking time,” Raven tells them, her handsmoving to flick some switches. “You had five seconds, now shut the damn doorand buckle the fuck up.”

This time, Bellamy’s the one pushing Clarke, right into oneof the two remaining seats next to each other before he reaches for the latchto shut the ship’s entryway, not even glancing back as the large doors slideclosed in the lab.

He’s back to Clarke almost instantly, his entire body onalert as he checks her over, trying to help get her buckles in place, becauseshe’s panting and shaking, and he knows she must have practically killedherself sprinting to get back in time.

But she pushes him off, still gasping for air, but pointingto his own empty seat. “Please Bell,”she breathes.

He knows what she’s asking without her having to say it, sohe slides into the seat next to her, tightening his own buckles even as hewatches to make sure hers are secured too.

“Opening launch door,” Raven calls.

“Did you get the power on?” Murphy asks Clarke, as he gripsEmori’s hand.

Clarke nods, still clearly out of breath, or completelyoverwhelmed. “Had to climb a fucking tower to do it,” she huffs, almosthysterical.

Raven smirks. “Initiating countdown.”

She hits one final switch.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

Bellamy turns to Clarke, can’t look away when she closes hereyes and tilts her head back until her helmet is leaning against the ship’swall. He’s so engrossed in her that he almost startles when her gloved handreaches for his, and he’s momentarily brought back to another time when hegripped that hand like it was his only lifeline.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

He holds on tight, squeezing her hand once, twice. Shedoesn’t open her eyes, but she smiles in relief, and Bellamy doesn’t know whathe would have done if he never saw that smile again.

—

His own rising panic had subsided as soon as he knew theywere all safe in that ship. He didn’t care that they were going back to theArk, or that he was currently in a rocket. They were all alive, they were goingto make it.

And then they hit the break in the atmosphere, and thatcrack in Clarke’s helmet splinters into five more, stretching across the widthof the glass.

He knows what that means even before Raven skywalks to theArk as fast as she can to open the door, and Clarke’s oxygen goes critical.

By the time they’re actually running through the hallways toget oxygen flowing through the Ark, Emori and Murphy are supporting Ravenbetween them, and Bellamy is dragging a near-unconscious Clarke.

The moment he can take his helmet off, he rips hers off too,and gives her whatever oxygen he has left.

He later finds out that it’s Echo who flips the breaker, savingthem all.

And that she’s the one who dragged Clarke, and then Bellamy,towards the vents giving them air.

—

“Is the water filtration system functional?” Clarke asks,and Raven grunts in affirmation as she paces back and forth to check between aset of wires she’s working on and the computer screen Monty got running.

“And how about the algae farm?” Bellamy adds. He sees Clarkenod her head in agreement, as if that was the next question she was going tospew off to Raven.

“And what about–,” Clarke starts, only to be cut off by Raventhrowing her hands in the air.

“Enough!” She says sternly, but not unkindly. Bellamy looksat her in surprise, as does Clarke. At their reactions, Raven’s face gentles.“Enough,” she repeats. “It’s been over twenty-four hours since we got here, andyou both have been badgering me and Monty nonstop. You both need to go andrest.”

It’s true, but that doesn’t mean either of them are willingto admit it. There’s so much that only Monty and Raven can do, but he andClarke haven’t been willing to accept that there’s time to take a break. Montyjust left a little while ago with a yawn, dragging his feet to go find Harper.The others had gone searching for any soft surface to lay on hours ago.

“You need to rest too,” Clarke grumbles, avoiding looking atBellamy now that their focus has been pulled from what needs to be done.

Raven just shakes her head exasperatedly. “I did. You two were so busy heckling Montyabout the heating system and how he shouldn’t be straining his hands so heshould tell you guys what to do that you didn’t even realize I disappeared fora few hours.”

And now that Bellamy thinks about it, there was a point afew hours ago where there was a break in Raven grunting and muttering at themin frustration.

Raven must see something in the way Bellamy sighs, becauseshe pushes on, as if sealing her victory. “I promise that by the time you twowake up, I’ll have a full report on everything you’ve been hounding me about.”

Clarke opens her mouth, looking ready to put up a fight, soBellamy gently grasps her elbow, pulling her attention to him. “She’s right,” hetells her, ignoring the snort Raven gives. He wants to tell Clarke that out ofall of them, she probably needs the rest the most since she was the mostoxygen-deprived, but he knows she would only argue further. So instead, he letsgo of her arm and tilts his head toward the door to the control room, andstarts to leave.

“Just a quick nap,” Clarke agrees reluctantly, following himout of the room. He thinks he vaguely hears Raven say ‘thank god’ as the door swings shut behind him.

He turns around to make a joke about it, but he’simmediately met with two small hands shoving him back, and a very angry Clarke.“You idiot,” she whispers, somehowmanaging to sound furious even as she keeps her voice low so Raven can’t hear.

He’d be surprised by the reaction if he hadn’t expected itthe moment everyone was breathing again and laughing breathlessly that they hadmade it.

When it didn’t happen immediately, he knew she was stallingby staying and pestering Raven and Monty with question after question. He knewthe minute they were alone, she would explode with the anger that’s beensimmering just under her skin. But he wouldn’t leave her side, not when theyalmost lost each other.

“I told you to use your brain, not launch it out of yourhead and forget you even had one!” She whisper-shouts. “You could have died.”

“If we hadn’t waited, you would have,” he points out, impressed with how calm he sounds, evenas the thought of Clarke being left behind on that burning planet makes himnauseous.

“The night blood could have worked,” she reasons, poking hischest with a finger.

He reaches his own hand out to hold hers in place. “That wasa hypothetical that I didn’t want to test with your life.”

Clarke’s nostrils only flare in response, and he just wantsher to go sleep. She looks exhausted and pale and the last thing he wants to dois whisper passive-aggressively to each other until they’re truly shouting.

“Look,” he sighs, wanting to just hold her, assure himselfthat she’s really, truly here. But he also doesn’t want her to pull away. “Idid use my head. I used my heart too, just like you said I needed to in orderto keep everyone alive. And my head, my heart,” he moves her hand to rest flatabove his heart, “every piece of me all the way to the tips of my fingers andmy toes, told me that if I closed that door on you, if–,” he pauses, thethought making his stomach plummet, “if I left you there, it would have beenthe greatest regret of my life.”

For a moment, Clarke just stares at him, openly gaping.Bellamy thinks she might actually punch him in the face for taking that risk.

Instead, she reaches her other hand out for him, and wrapsher arms around him like she had done in that office in the lab, locking herhands behind his back like she’s never going to let go. “When I saw youstanding in front of that rocket, it was the best and worst thing I have everseen in my life,” she admits hoarsely into his t-shirt.

Bellamy’s responding chuckle is wet with emotion. “Seeingyou in that awful jumpsuit was the most beautiful thing,” he tells her, leaningdown to place a chaste kiss to her forehead, her skin clammy. “Can we not beangry about me wanting to wait and just be happy that all eight of us got herein one piece?”

He feels her tears soaking into his shirt, and the realizationhits him, slamming into his gut.

They’re all alive.For once, no casualties.

He grudgingly pulls away so that he can see her shining blueeyes. “I just want you to take a nap, Clarke. I need to nap. So can we please just go and find rooms with beds sowe can sleep? I think we’ve earned that much.”

Clarke nods her head once more, looking down at the tearsshe left on him before looking back up at him. “Or we can find one room, onebed. So we can take a nap together,” she hedges, not daring to be the one tobreak eye contact first.

Bellamy’s breath whooshes out of him, a surprised chuckleescaping him. “Yeah?”

She rests her forehead against his chest. “I don’t think Ican let you out of my sight for a while. The last time I did, I accepted that Imay never see you again, and I never want to feel that again,” she says, anddespite her words, he can hear the smile in her voice.

Bellamy takes her hands, starting to pull her further downthe hall to where an Ark-issued bed has their names written all over it. Theyfall into a blissful, deep sleep, arms wrapped around each other, clinging toone another.

And to Raven’s utter delight, they sleep well past what canappropriately be called a nap, letting her work in peace for hours.

[perdizzion]

I just happen to stumbled upon ur account and saw that you'll be quitting med school. I have a dilemma that I want to share with someone. Im a newly enrolled first yr med student and classes just started a week before. But I'm starting to form some doubts whether I really want to be a doctor or not. Its not that I cant handle the academics its just that do i really see myself being a doctor in the future and actually feel happy about it.

I dont even know if being a doctor is my dream anymore or just my parent’s.

Hiya! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, anon! I don’t know if my answer will help you or not, but I will try to do my ABSOLUTE BEST to reply!!

Ok so. Med school. Tricky stuff. I’ll tell you a little bit about my background and what I’m up to right now to give you a Good Feel about how things are going after the decision I’ve taken and whatnot.

I got into med school about 4 and a half years ago, and like any student who worked their asses off for their desired universities’ entrance exams, I was beyond ecstatic when I found out that I had gotten in. I started attending lectures, group discussions, student projects, and for the first few years, I felt like hey, I think I can actually do this! The exams were pretty tough, I can’t say I liked pharmacology and neurology, but I passed just fine and so I thought that things were going to be fine.

[Narrator voice] things were, in fact, not fine.

I started having doubts around..3rd year, I think? Everything just started to become so dull no matter how much free time I was using to do my hobbies (drawing and doing art in general) and I think that was when my depression started to really rear its ugly head. I started to miss classes, isolate myself from my friends, stay in bed all day, and the only people that had kept me sane were my family and a few close friends of mine telling me to take care of myself when I was too depressed to do so. I tried thinking about whether I’ll be happy being a doctor in the future, and then I noticed that I couldn’t even imagine myself in a white coat, working in a clinic and talking to a patient.

This is when I finally realized that all this time, my wanting to go to med school wasn’t even because it was my dream. It was my parents’.

I struggled a lot to get through some of the days, but I managed to keep up the facade in front of my uni friends until I finished 4th year and received a “degree”. (In Indonesia, finishing 4th year of med school grants you a “bachelor of medicine” though you can’t really use it for anything yet until you’ve finished 2 more years of clerkship and get a “dr” in front of your name).

Clerkship happened after 4th year. If I had to use one word to describe clerkship, it would be hellish. I don’t know if this is how it works in every country, but in Indonesia, clerkship demands med students to attend hospital shifts with inhuman amount of working hours. We had to do 36 hour shifts every twice a week, and 9 hour shifts every other day. This might sound pretty light to some people, but it was super tough for me what with the amount of additional assignments and exams that we still had to do during our rotations. 

After 2 months of clerkship, my depression grew so much worse to the point where my best friend (bless her heart) had to call me almost everyday to help me sleep at night because the thoughts in my head wouldn’t leave me alone. Finally, I called my sister who lives in a different city to fly to where I was living in to take me to see a psychiatrist. It didn’t help because my doctor was super shitty about my condition (“all med students experience depression at one point because med school is just that hard, don’t worry, I’ve been there”) but I did take the meds. And I was planning to carry on with clerkship, until one day the meds gave me orthostatic hypotension (it was one of the side effects of the drug that I was taking) and I fainted in the middle of a surgery. When my mom (who lives in another city) found out about this, she was livid. She flew to my place right on that exact same day to take care of me, though she hadn’t known about my depression yet at the time.

The next day, I told her everything. Like, everything. About how med school had truly been stressing me out, about how I didn’t feel like med school was the right place for me anymore, about how clerkship had been making me feel like I was a worthless piece of shit because the doctors kept yelling at me, about how clerkship had also been making me realize that I wasn’t good with patients and that their lives are literally in my hands and that a single mistake could lead to their death and how I could never live with that much guilt in my life, about how I was so tired of being too sleep-deprived to properly function everyday, let alone to stitch a patient’s cut-up hand back together.

I told her that I wanted to quit. And so I did.

And you know what? It feels amazing.

I’ve been sleeping regularly for the past few months. I get to draw everyday now, and still make money out of doing commissions. I interact with my family a lot more and I don’t check up on them only when I need them to transfer me some money to buy food. I eat three meals a day like a normal human being and it feels so, so good. I applied for a scholarship so I could earn a Master’s degree in biomedicine abroad (it’s not art school, which is where I actually want to go to, but it’s not med school either so I’ll take it), I passed the first stage and now I’m just trying to do my best to pass the next two stages so I could get a full-ride. 

Things are okay. Things are good.

Things haven’t always been good, of course. People tell me that I was “so close to reaching my dreams!”, that my parents “must be so shattered to hear that you wanted to quit!”, that I am just “wasting away my potential.” My grandparents called me a disappointment a few weeks ago while telling me that I should just give up on my scholarship application and go back to med school. My dad told me that he wished I could “go back to the way I was and be happy again.” My mom cried multiple times. It hasn’t been easy on my mental health, but honestly? Fuck it. Fuck every single guilt-trip that my parents have had to put me through. Fuck everyone at uni who’s been spreading false rumors about how I quit med school because “I got cancer” or “I got knocked up.”

I absolutely hated how the doctors did anything back in the hospital. The rich patients got immediate treatment, and the poor got dismissed. The mentally ill were mocked behind closed doors, and med students were treated like trash. Rooted seniority where the senior doctors hazed junior doctors were still a thing (in Indonesia, at least). Literally everyone in the hospital had a superiority complex and I fucking hated it. Neither my parents nor my grandparents will have to be the ones to experience this on a daily basis for years though, so fuck outta here with your negative comments about my decision.

I quit med school because I did it for me, and only me.

This is by no means supposed to scare you away from med school just so you could jump into my bandwagon, heck no. I’m telling you this because nobody told me that this could be a possibility. Everybody I knew kept telling me that the only thing you’ll need to succeed med school is firm determination and hard work, and while that may be true for some people, I required a lot more than that, like a stable mental health, a good support system, etc. I failed to meet these requirements, and so everything turned into a shipwreck for me. My other friends, however, who were well-prepared with all of these, are managing to continue med school just fine.

That being said, this answer is definitely supposed to make you think about your decision more thoroughly. One of the most often things that people tell me post-med school is that “you should’ve quit earlier if you hadn’t liked it; it would’ve saved you a lot of time.” I hate the fact that I agree with this. If I had quit years ago, I would’ve still had time to search for a school that was more relevant to my interests and start over from a blank slate. If I had quit years ago, I would’ve been able to graduate from a new school and earn an actual proper job by now so I could help my parents out with our finance. Of course, my parents would’ve been way more harsh on me if I had told them that I wanted to quit so early on, but if you own the privilege of having parents that would genuinely and willingly listen to you, please talk about it with them. I had a friend who quit med school around a few months before 1st year ended; he’s in business school now and from what I’ve heard, he’s pretty happy with where he is right now.

Whew, that was long. I swear I didn’t mean for it to be this long!! Let me know if any of that helped or if you just want to talk off anon with me in general! I know firsthand how this kind of dilemma can eat you up whole, and it’s not a fun experience, so just hmu if you want to chat

Have a nice day!!

[zephyroh]

i got you (please don’t let go of me)

it’s 4am again and im having feeling about jason scott again

Read on AO3

-----

There was something wrong.

Jason couldn’t put his finger on what, but there was something not right. He felt uneasy. Like his body was trying to tell him something. He was lying in his bed – his window always opened ever since the night at the mine in because his friends had taken the habit of coming to his room whenever they wanted, usually when they needed company or comfort.

He remembered the day Pearl was born - he looked at her with wonder in his eyes, holding her tightly in his arms. He heard her laugh, and saw stars in her eyes, and vowed to himself to be the best brother in the world. Just like in the movies. He had wanted to be a superhero for her, before actually becoming one. And now he had added four persons to protect in that oath. He was, in some ways, a big brother to his team – “more like the mom friend”, had said Zack laughing one day.

He usually felt them coming, before seeing them. In was an unshakable feeling in his body, in his bone, and when they were feeling bad, it was like something was out of place. Like something in the universe had shifted, was out of balance, and he couldn’t rest until he fixed it. Like those night after an argument with his father where Pearl came to his room crying because he didn’t want them to fight, and he couldn’t sleep before reassuring her. Going to sleep knowing his baby sister was unwell was impossible. Just like if one of his teammates was having a hard time.

This night was one of those night.

He felt like crying. He felt like he was suffocating. He wanted to scream at the world, but could only lie immobile, staring at the ceiling. He could only hear the soft sound of the wind gently passing through his curtains. The light of the moon was shielded by clouds, and the only other source of light was coming from his digital alarm clock on his night stand.

4:48, it read.

The silence was almost maddening.

He waited for the familiar sound of Kimberly’s heel hitting the frame of his window. Or a pebble hitting the wall because Zack found it hilarious to throw rocks at his window even though he knew it was open. Or the soft “You up?” that Trini whispered, always afraid to wake him up. Or the sound of metal and cable in Billy’s backpack when he didn’t want to work on a project alone.

But nothing came.

It was a month after they saved Angel Grove – or the world actually – and it was the tenth night he couldn’t sleep, not knowing why.

Some night he just couldn’t get asleep.

Some night he woke up soaking with sweat, bones trembling, dread in his heart, and a scream stuck in his throat.

 -----

“Jas, you need to close your eyes if you want sleep.”

Jason blinked three time, shaking his head. He looked at the coffee machine in front of him, who had already stopped pouring coffee into his mug two minutes ago, before shifting his gaze to the little human being beside him.

Pearl was standing next to him with wide open eyes and such an innocent look on her face he couldn’t help the found smile growing on his lips.

“Why are you saying that, P?” The girl frowned and pouted at the surname while Jason smirked. “I don’t wanna be pee!”, she had cried out, horrified, the first time he called her that – and he never did stop after because her reactions where adorable.

“You wasn’t moving, like when you sleep, but with your eyes open. You have to close them.”, she answered matter-of-factly. He let out an amused laugh as his heart swelled.

“Thank you, I’ll think of that next time.”

He smothered a yawn and rubbed his tired eyes. The day was going to be long, he thought as he brought the coffee mug to his lips.

 -----

He felt like he was functioning in slow motion. Even superhero powers didn’t compensate sleep deprivation. He almost arrived late for his first class after taking too much time to prepare in the morning, and cursed himself for missing his friends before class. They would usually gang up at Billy’s locker before going their own way.

He couldn’t concentrate. The only remaining seat when he arrived was the one by the window in one of the rows at the back of the class – the perfect spot to not listen one word of what the teacher was saying and just daydream. His chin in his hand, he started dozing off, regularly jerking awake when his brain was warning him he was falling asleep.

The guilt of not listening to the class – history, the only one he actually liked – started creeping on him. He just couldn’t wait for the day to be over. He hadn’t had such a horrible day since the Power Rangers thing. Before that, he was used to waking up hating everything, and endure the day until he could come back to bed. But he hadn’t feel this way again, until now. He was not thrilled to remembered was it was like.

After two hours of pure torture, he speeded out of he classroom, eager to join his teammates. He walked into the cafeteria, mentally insulting everyone. They were making so much goddamn noise. He was definitely too tired and not caffeinated enough to deal with that.

He quickly spotted his squad at their usual spot. He felt his mood lighten up was he saw Trini and Zack fighting over their food trails while Kim was smirking and throwing crumbs of bread at them, and Billy was carefully sorting his food by colors, probably occasionally commenting on how it would be physically impossible for Trini to fit an entire bus up Zack’s bottom, and therefore pointless to try or even threaten to.

He sat in front of him, automatically putting his apple on Billy’s trail. It was his favorite fruit, and Jason was always too happy to give up his just to see Billy excitedly clap his hands. Today however, Billy merely looked up to him and thanked him, giving him a small smile, before returning to his food. Jason didn’t miss the dark circle under his eyes, and understood that he wasn’t the only one with sleep problems.

He frowned and his body only tensed more. The feeling of the night before, shaking his bones to the core, was back.

“You alright, farmboy?” Jason slightly rolled his eyes at Trini’s nickname she found for him after he told them the whole story about the cow in the locker. “You do dress up a bit like Clark Kent”, she had argued.

He felt his heart warm up at the sight of four concerned looks directed at him when he lifted his head from his food.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night, but I’ll be fine”, he answered with a tired smile. They nodded in agreement, and Trini gave him an understanding smile, looking at him intensely like she was trying to communicate with him telepathically. “I feel you”, he though she was trying to say. He nodded back, knowing it was her own way of expressing herself. Not with words, but it was just as well.

He felt kind of guilty for worrying them. He was used to be the one worrying about them. He liked that role, he wanted to care of them, and hated feeling this low and miserable.

The sound of the school bell felt like a blow in the stomach. Here we go again, for four more hours. While the others started hurryingly picking up their stuff, Jason was feeling out of it. Like in another dimension, like he was out of tune with the world. There but not quite there. He forced himself to move, trying to keep up with the rest of the student body. He saw Zack waving and blowing kisses at them, heading for the exit, and Jason knew he had decided to skip class today. Kim was teasing Trini, pulling down her beanie on her eyes as the tiny girl was feigning being mad, while they were headed to their Biology class.

Without even thinking about it, he launched himself forward, elbowing a few students as he spotted the back of Billy’s head in the crowd. He caught up to him as Billy was opening his locker. Jason smiled at the sight of the inside of it. Pictures of the five of them together, a flyer of Krispy Kreme, five tiny dinosaurs toy and carefully scotched in the back, a crumbled-up piece of paper reading “we should start a band”.

“Are you alright, Billy? You look as tired as me, and that’s not good news.”

“Jason.”, the boy acknowledges him, looking at him straight in the eyes. Jason wondered if it was the lack of sleep or the amount of caffeine he had ingested, but his heart twitched at this moment. “I’m just having a few nightmares recently. Of Rita… but it’s alright, I’m okay.”

The red ranger suddenly felt powerless at the sight of Billy’s tired – and somewhat resigned – smile. Jason wished so hard he could make all his problems go away, because Billy Cranston should never feel sad about anything in his life, ever. He was too good for this shitty world, and Jason wanted so much to protect him from it.

Billy seemed to notice the former quarterback’s sorrow, because before Jason could register what was happening, Billy was ruffling his hair.

Everything seemed to stop for Jason, even his heart. He only managed to tilt his head to the side with a questioning look on his faces, mouth half open but not trusting his vocal cords to actually be able to function at this moment.

Then Billy smiled his pure, angel-like smile, and everything momentarily felt right in the world.

“I’m cheering you up!”, he explained. “Kim does that to me when I’m feeling low, so I’m doing it to you. Zack usually makes a lot of bad jokes and then explains them to me, but I don’t know as many as him, and you know I’m not really good at jokes anyway. And Trini, she brings me food, but I don’t have any snacks on me. Besides, we just ate so it would be pointless to give you more food right now. Should have I not done that?” Billy suddenly looked worried, like he made a mistake – he was always too self-conscious even around the team, always afraid to be “weird”, as if the squad would ever feel weirded out by him.

Jason immediately snapped out of his dazed state to reassure the boy. “No! No, no absolutely not, I- it was good- well, it’s alright. You did good. It worked”, he stuttered, and it never felt this complicated to get coherent words out of his mouth.

Billy shot him a glowing smile, exuding pride because he managed to lighten up Jason’s mood, and the red ranger felt like he could breathe a little bit better, and the world was a little more colorful than this morning.

 -----

Jason stared at the sharp, red inked letter in front of him. He stared so long it felt like the letter was floating on the blank piece of the page he was holding.

He blinked. And blinked again. And stupidly pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and regretted it immediately afterwards. He tended to forget about his superhero strength from time to time.

The classroom was buzzing around him, student putting their books in their bag, pulling chairs, talking and laughing loudly. But Jason couldn’t move.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and lifted his head to see his teacher looking at him with a small smile.

“I’m proud of you, Jason. You really did improve. Keep up the good work.”

His eyes dropped again at the paper.

He got an A. At a math test. Him. Jason Scott. Jason Scott, who was only good at football. Jason Scott, whom only shot at having a future was a sport scholarship at a local university. Jason Scott who was constantly failing his class, and felt to depressed to even try to study. Jason freaking Scott.

He had to show it to the team.

They were all pretty good students, even Zack when he bothered to show up, and prepared a study plan for Jason when he told them, ashamed, that he wasn’t even sure he’d graduate. Without question nor his opinion on the matter, they immediately organized study sessions in between training sessions, and before long, Jason learned the pleasure of learning.

Trini helped him mostly in English, but never with the others present. She just showed up one day in his room with the reading assignment of the semester in her hands. And after an hour, Jason learned that Trini loved literature and poetry – she actually wrote some, but threatened to slit his throat if he ever mentioned it to the others, especially Kimberly who would never stop teasing her about it, and Jason still remembered the feeling of fright in his heart in front of her dead serious face. He never heard her talk as much as when she was passionately explaining the meaning of some obscure figure of style the author of the book used, and why he used it. “It’s easier to express fictional people’s feelings than my own.”, she admitted once.

Zack’s subject of predilection was physics, and he liked to dress up as old famous physician as he was moving around, his arms flipping around, talking with animation trying to explain the laws of physics to Jason, occasionally throwing apples at his head screaming “Eureka!”.

For biology it was Kim who was his assigned tutor. She wasn’t much of a pedagogue, but she had a way of vulgarizing complex mechanism about DNA and cells with simple words that made sense to Jason. They actually both hated it, but going through it together made things better and easier.

As for math… It has always been Jason’s worst nightmare. His parents had tried to get him private lesson before giving up, seeing that there was no results. Not matter how hard he tried, how long he could tire his eyes on an exercise, nothing made sense to him.

But then Billy came along. It came so naturally to the boy, he made it look easy. And the blue ranger loved that he could monologue as long as he wanted about math, Jason would never complain. When Billy noticed there was something Jason wasn’t getting, he tried to explain it in another way, and in another if it was still not enough, again and again until Jason understood. Step by step, Jason started to catch up on his lacunas, and God knew there was a long way to go.

Until this day. Because this day, his efforts were rewarded, and he owed it all to his friends.

He jolted out of his seat, suddenly filled with energy. He almost ran up the hallway leading to Billy’s locker, which Zack was already leaning against. He strode swiftly to reach up the boys and planted himself in front of Billy.

“I’m going to hug you now.”, he announced. “Is that okay?”

Billy nodded, a bit surprised and confused, but relaxed as soon as he felt Jason arms around him. Jason knew he was still getting used to physical contact. The red ranger tilted his head to press Billy’s body even harder against him and his nose ended up grazing the boy’s neck for a slipt of a second. As he felt Billy shudder, he released his grasp, fearing that it was too much for Billy. But as they separated, the other boy seemed fine, even happy if not still confused.

Jason realized he was staring a bit too long at Billy’s dark brown eyes when Zack’s voice startled him.

“Hey, man, I want some love too!”, he joked, and Jason hoped he didn’t notice the redness of his cheeks. “Why so sappy?”.

Jason brandished the paper he was still holding in his hand, harboring a proud smile. As Zack took in the information, a similar smile appeared on his lips.

“Yeah, that’s awesome dude! You’re a genius now”. He put his arms around Jason for a quick hug, patting firmly the red ranger’s back.

A confused Billy appeared near Zack, countersigning his neck to look at the paper, and his eyes grew wide with excitement when the saw the “A” at the top of the paper. He started hoping around, clapping his hand and laughing excitedly.

“Something to celebrate?” Kim’s voice came from behind Jason. He spun on his heels, with a wide grin still on his face as her and Trini – the two always looked like they were joined by the hip – raised their eyebrows.

He answered simply,

“Billy turned me into a math genius!”

 -----

Jason sighed heavily. Then let out a groan. Then slammed his fit against his mattress out of frustration.

3:27. The glowing, dimmed light of his alarmed clock seemed to be mocking him.

He felt the impulse to throw it against the wall, then decided against it out of fear of waking up his little sister. But he just wanted to break something.

Exhaling slowly, he tried to relax his fist, then the muscles of his forearms, then his entire body. He concentrated as he remembered Trini’s words when she was teaching him yoga one night, at the top of a cliff near the mine.

“Focus on your breathing and the beating of your heart. The more you think about that, the less you think about everything else.”

After what felt like an eternity, Jason noticed his mind had already started to wander off, and he felt himself giving up. Shooting a glance at the time, a deep sense of despair crushed him as his saw the red numbers.

3:51.

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

He clenched his jaw and pressed his palm against his forehead where drips of sweat were starting to form.

Instinctively, he took his phone, which was resting on the nightstand, in his hand. He paused for a second, staring at the numerous apps on the screen – which was at the lowest setting of luminosity but still hurt his eyes – decided what he wanted to do.

Trying to ignore the feeling carved in his gut, he opened his text messages. Without thinking, he just followed his impulse, and tapped on one of the conversation.

“Hey, you up?”

After five minutes of silence from his phone, he stared at the name of the contact one last time. Billy Boy.

He felt empty as he put down the phone next to him, then turned around in his bed.

 -----

When he woke up, tears were burning his eyes, and he didn’t know if his heart was crushed in his chest or if he wanted to rip it out of his ribcage himself.

It took him three whole minutes for his limbs to stop shaking, and five for the sobbing to cease.

Even though he was sure he knew exactly why he was crying when he woke up, the memories were already starting to fade away. The feeling of frustration was almost too unbearable.

Blue lips. A still body, too still. Rigid. Numbness. Clouns in his mind.

He clenched his eyes shut just and let out a whimper.

Weight in his arms. A loud thump on wood. Rope gliding through metal.

Tears were running down his face again and he hugged his knees tightly against his chest.

Electricity. The rope stopping abruptly. Opened eyes, but a blank, lifeless look.

Jason buried his head in his arms.

Billy was alright. Billy was alive. It was just a nightmare. Billy was fine. Billy was alive.

He repeated those words like a mantra In his head until his body finally calmed down.

The clock was now reading 5:05.

Wiping his tears with the blanket, he mechanically reached out for his phone again. His heart skipped a bit when he pressed the button to light up his screen. Billy Boy.

He fumbled on his phone, trying to unlock it as fast as he could.

“Yes, bad dream again ☹ Why? Everything alright?” Send forty-five minutes after his own text. He cursed himself for having missed it, for not having been there for Billy when he woke up from his own nightmare.

“I just couldn’t sleep…”, he texted back. As he was hesitating to elaborate, to explain that his first instinct was to reach out to Billy, the sight of three jumping dots made his heart race. Before he could do anything – strangely his first impulse was to throw the phone away – another text popped up.

“Seems like you still can’t :p”, immediately followed by the dots again. Jason waited patiently, smiling softly at the emojis Billy loved to use and sometimes, overuse.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to be mean. It sounded mean. I was thinking: “what would Zack say in this situation?” Was it mean?”

“It’s alright, don’t worry 😊  I had a nightmare too, just woke up.”, he replied.

He suddenly felt a little bit better, imagining Billy’s rambling voice in his head. Relaxing, he waited again while Billy was typing… only to nearly choke on his saliva when the words appeared in front of his eyes.

“Maybe next time we should sleep together!”

Jason froze on the spot, forgetting to even breathe and he read the text three times to make sure his eyes were not playing games with him.

“That way we won’t be alone having bad dreams :p”

Air slithered back into his lungs, and Jason refused to acknowledge to himself that he was blushing.

And this moment, the thoughts keeping him from sleeping were all kind of different from the ones before.

 -----

Jason mentally cursed himself when he greeted Billy and a blush crept onto his face ; Billy didn’t make it any easier for the red ranger when he didn’t stop when approaching Jason, and rather wrapped his arms around him. He only had his reflex to thank when he reciprocated the hug on auto-pilot, because his mind was racing, and his body was feeling too much all at once.

“Wh-what that for?”, Jason managed to get out, trying his best not to sound weird – and probably failing.

“I wanted to thank you for yesterday. I actually did sleep much better after we talked, or rather texted. Well, even though it was for a short time because it was early. But I feel better than yesterday.”, Billy exclaimed, smiling happily. “Jason, are you okay? You look weird? Did you not sleep at all after?”.

“Yeah, no, I did actually. I’m-“. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearing his throat, avoiding Billy’s eyes as he pushed back the thoughts he had this morning in the back of his mind. “I’m good.”, he added, finally meeting his friend gaze.

Then without thinking, Jason saw his hand raise itself to land on Billy’s head, gently ruffling the boy’s hair. Realizing what he was doing, Jason froze as his eyes widened. He was starting to positively panic when Billy merely tilted his head, confused look on his face, not embarrassed in the least.

“Don’t worry, I’m not sad, Jason. I just told you, I’m really feeling better.”

 -----

“Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting off for a couple of days now.”

Jason jumped in his seat as a pile a book loudly landed on the table, right in front of him. Kim promptly dropped herself unceremoniously in the seat next to him, crossing her arms, a serious yet concerned look on her face.

Jason sighed. He knew pretending would be useless with Kimberly. She was too perceptive for that.

“I- I don’t know actually.”, he answered, waving his arms around to illustrate his words. “I’m just either having horrible nightmares or I have insomnias.”

He turned to face her and was surprised to meet a raised, unimpressed eyebrow. She was expecting something else. She blankly started at him as seconds passed by, apparently not intending to speak, nor letting him off the hook.

“… Okay fine, there’s maybe something else.” A satisfied smirk grew on her lips. He cursed her under his breath. “Never become a shrink, you’d be horrible.”

He swallowed his saliva with difficulty, trying to make sense of the turmoil in his mind.

“I’m having weird feelings… about Billy.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulder. Like the blinds were suddenly opening in a dark room and light was coming through. Like a dam had just exploded and water was flowing through. “I keep seeing him dead in my dream, Kim. I just can’t erase the imagine of him just- lying there, on the dock, not breathing. So, when we’re together, I just- It’s like I constantly want to make sure he’s alive, that’s he’s here with us. I’m always catching myself looking him out, like when I walk into a room I automatically look for him. It’s like I don’t want to get him out of my sight. Wow, that’s sounded creepy, didn’t it? But then, there’s sometimes the way he smiles to me, or talks to me, or looks at me, or just is- It’s weird, I don’t know how to describe the feeling…”

The words kept pouring out of his lips like he couldn’t stop them. Kim’s simple, knowing smile made him feel better, and something in her eyes just made him realize. It dawned on him harder than the train hit them that night.

“Is that- Is that how you feel about Trini?”

And the pink ranger simply nods, smiling ever so calmly. She didn’t say a word, and didn’t have to. Jason just had to figure it out by himself, he just needed a push.

He just sat there a while, mouth opened and jaw hanging low – he knew he probably looked like an idiot but there was too much on his mind for him to care. After a while, Kim finally spoke out, putting a gently hand on his arms, squeezing it.

“You almost lost him. Well, you actually did lose him for a while. It’s normal if you’re a mess. It’s okay. Just talk to him about it.

And that was just about the most terrifying thing he’d ever heard.

 -----

Jason couldn’t sleep.

Again.

But this time was different. He was just restless, thinking, pacing around his room, sometimes picking up his phone, staring at it for a second before putting it down. And repeating the process all over again.

He had to jump off the cliff. He had to talk to Billy. But it was easier to agree with Kim than to actually do it.

He sat on his bed with vigor, taking a deep breath, taking the small object into his hand. His heart throbbing in his chest, he looked intensely at the black screen… which lighted up as the phone vibrated.

Billy Boy.

As panic ran through his veins; he let out a shrill scream and impulsively throwed his phone on the pillows across the bed.

Rolling his eyes at his own reaction, he picked up the phone again to answer the text.

“I’m afraid to fall asleep. Can I come over?”

Once again, Jason froze. Then laughed nervously. And started to hyperventilate a bit.

As his fingered were slightly trembling, he typed “Of course, the window is always open!”, trying to figure out if it sounded chill enough.

He was actively trying to calm his heart beating loudly in his chest when Billy came through the window, landing carefully next to Jason’s bed – who couldn’t hold a found smile when he saw Billy’s batman pajamas.

The blue ranger put down his bag before hoping into Jason’s bed, immediately rolling the covers around him. He breathed in deeply before casually saying “Thank you, Jason. Your smell always calms me down. That’s why I take some of your shirts sometimes. But I’ll give them back, I’m not a thief don’t worry. “

Jason wondered if Billy was in fact actively trying to kill him, or if he was just oblivious to the effect he had on the red ranger. He also wondered if the boy could see, despite the darkness, that he was as red as his armor in this very moment.

“Of course, anytime you need”, and his voice sounded a bit off to his ears.

As Billy was making himself comfortable, Jason thought he was never going to get sleep. And at his grand surprise, he actually did start to feel himself slip into slumber when he closed his eyes, feeling the heat emanating from Billy’s body next to him, listening to the boy’s calm breathing, his own body relaxing.

 -----

It was either the hands shaking his shoulder or the voice in his ears that woke up him.

He had that same feeling of panic in his chest than that night.

He was covered in sweat, body shaking and he felt the cold air hitting his damped cheeks. But then…

Warms palm running through his back, his forearms. A soft voice whispering calming words. Then hands on his hair, across his cheeks, and on his back again.

“It’s okay, Jason. It was just a dream. I’m here. I’m right here.”

Jason’s body relaxed all at once, crashing against Billy who reaffirmed his grip to a just at the sudden weight. Jason’s head landed on the boy’s shoulder, his nose grazing lightly Billy’s neck. And at this moment, in this position, he absolutely understood was Billy was saying about comforting smell.

“You kept calling me in your sleep. And then you started to get agitated.”

“You were dead.”, Jason said simply. His tone was grave, heavy with a sob that was about to burst.

‘You were dead.”, he repeated, as tears started to form at the corner of his eyes, shoulders shaking abruptly.

“I just- I don’t know how to deal with that.”

Billy squeezed his arms around Jason, holding him even closer. He took Jason’s wrist, placing it against his torso, against his heart which rhythm was as fast paced as Jason’s.

“But I came back. You brought me back. And I’m here, Jason. I’m here with you, right now.”

He could feel Billy’s breath against his cheeks as the boy was pressing his forehead against Jason’s temple. The thumb of Billy’s hand was gently caressing Jason’s, still placed against the blue ranger’s torso. Jason’s adjusted his position to that his forehead rested against Billy and lifted his chin a bit. His fingers pressed harder against the other boy’s chest, digging into the flesh.

“It was so horrible…”. His voice cracked and Billy answered by squeezing him ever harder.

“Let it out, Jason. It’s okay. I got you.”, he whispered against Jason’s lips.

Jason’s heart exploded at those words, and as their lips met, the universe seemed balanced again.

[because-cur-non]

Top 5 scenes/ moments/ sections of dialogue from RF?

I’m gonna answer this under a cut!

1) Mulligan with Hamilton in loco parentis (I love Mulligan.  I love Mulligan having his shit together more than these kids.  Someday I’ll do a bonus thing of when Hamilton was staying with him.  This is honestly maybe my favorite scene in the whole damn thing because I just love Mulligan so much.)

Mulligan was silent while he composed a message neutral enough to sound like it could have come from anyone and sent it.  He pocketed Hamilton’s phone and let him sit quietly for the rest of the ride.  He paid the driver, led the way into his building, and let them into the apartment.  It sounded like one of his flatmates was in his room but otherwise they were alone.  Hamilton dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed face-down on the sofa.

“I hate this,” he moaned.

“We’ll sort it out.  Take off that jacket, the sleeves are too long for you.  I’m gonna hem ‘em while we wait to hear back from ‘im.”

Hamilton dropped the jacket on the ground without getting up.  Mulligan sighed and picked it up, taking it over to the sewing machine on the table.

“Like raising a friggin’ five year old…”

“Fuck off.”

“You gonna throw a tantrum?”

Hamilton raised one hand to flip him off.

“I can’t think, Mulligan,” Hamilton complained as the machine whirred.  “Me.”

“Thanks for implyin’ the rest of us are a buncha idiots,” Mulligan said, his back to him as he worked.

“You know what I mean.”

“So you forgot your keys, big deal.  Said you were sleep deprived anyway.  Too much fuckin’ on vacation?”

“Just once.  Wasn’t that.  That didn’t help.”

Mulligan didn’t say anything, waiting patiently for Hamilton to start up again.

“Maybe I am sick,” he finally said, turning his head to the back of the couch and touching his face.  “He said I felt hot.  I get sick every winter anyway, fuck winter.”  He struggled to take out his dry contacts.  “That must be it.”

“Lovesick, maybe.”  The machine stopped and Mulligan inspected his work, looking over just in time to see Hamilton reach over the armrest and drop the contacts to the carpet.  “Oh, come on, I don’t spit on your floor.”

Hamilton left his arm hanging and Mulligan dropped the jacket on top of him.

“Try that when you’re done whining and tell me how it is.”

“‘Kay.”

“You done whining?”

“No.”

“I’m getting a beer.  I’d offer you one, but it’s illegal to give alcohol to children.”

“You’re a jackass.”

Mulligan came back into the room, popping the tab on a can of beer.  “You’re being a baby.”

“I fucking lost my work keys and I can’t get into my apartment!”

“That’s not what you’re really complaining about, Hamilton.  I might not be a hotshot genius like you, but I’m not a moron.  Move your legs over.”  Mulligan sat heavily on the couch next to him.  “You like the guy?”

“Yeah.”  Hamilton’s voice was heavily muffled by the couch cushions.

“You like him a lot?”

“Yeah.”

“Things get a little too real spending that much time with him?”

Hamilton paused.  “Yeah.”

Mulligan patted his leg.  “Suck it up,” he said sympathetically.

2) CVS (First, this is the start of the islands/ocean theme. Second, look at these boys, this is back before they’re all over each other, that hand on the shoulder was Intimate.  Someday I’ll also go through and pull things to show the progression of their sleeping habits.)

Laurens pulled him down, running his thumb over his high cheekbones and then his fingers through his hair.  “You’re gonna get wrinkles,” he teased, “you’ll turn gray.”

“I’d be a silver fox,” Hamilton replied.  “All the girls’ll be lining up at my door.”

“‘Girls’?”

“Yeah, I banned you after you made fun of my hair.” Hamilton rolled away from Laurens onto his back.  “It’s like a sauna in the city at this time of year.  I’m melting.”

“I thought you’d be used to it.”

“Trade winds.”  Hamilton waved one hand dismissively in the air above his face.  “And not all of this cement for the heat to just bake you in.”

Laurens propped himself up on his elbow, watching Hamilton’s face.

“I bet winter was a surprise.”

“Ha.  Yeah.  I stepped off that plane and—d’you know what, John?  I saw autumn leaves for the first time in my life.  Squirrels.  CVS, for chrissake.  All this shit that I had this image of in my mind because of course I knew about it, I’d seen it everywhere, and that’s the thing, isn’t it?  No one in New York cares if I went to Gore’s of St. Croix, but I’ve got CVS already engrained somewhere in me and it’s beautiful, the flow of power.  Soft power, John, recognize our maps and naturalize our flora and fauna and without even realizing it your center of balance is off.”

Laurens was quiet and Hamilton tucked his hands behind his head.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“You’re right, four hours isn’t enough.  I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“That’s not true.”

Hamilton closed his eyes.  Laurens waited for a minute to see if he would say anything else, then lay down once he heard his breathing slow, putting one hand on his shoulder in spite of the heat.

3) Inappropriate sick flirting (Okay this isn’t like a CLASSY option or anything, but I crack myself up every time with Hamilton’s attempt to deflect-by-flirting here and I’m a sucker for sickfic, so.  Shrug.)

Laurens, like Lafayette, woke before his alarm.  He had gotten up late that night to take his headphones off and close his laptop, and then alternated between dozing and playing on his phone for a few hours, not willing to wake Hamilton if he was so soundly asleep.  It wasn’t until he heard the second coughing fit that he got up and pulled on a pair of pants.

“Alex?”  He knocked on the bathroom door.  “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”  He sounded a little strangled.

“Are you sick?”

Hamilton started coughing again.  “I’m fine,” he repeated after a minute.

“Alex, come back to bed.  Do you need something to drink?”

“I have water.”  Laurens could hear him put the mug down on the side of the sink for emphasis.  “And my laptop.  I’m fine.  Go back to sleep.  I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I’m awake now.”  Laurens tried the handle but it was locked.

“I don’t want to make you—”  Hamilton cut himself off, clearing his throat and taking a drink.

“I thought you said you weren’t sick.”

“Said I was fine.”

Laurens sighed.  “Look, if I’m going to get sick the damage is already done.  I have to go in an hour.  Just come back out.  I feel weird talking to you through a door.”

There was a pause, then Hamilton opened the door and stepped out, all false-casualness in sweatpants and a pullover, taking a sip from a university mug.  “Hey, J.  You’re up, I’m up.  What’re the odds.  Wanna fuck?”

Laurens gave him an incredulous look.  “No.”

4) Masculinity (Would you believe I wrote all this shit about gender before thinking critically about gender in my own life?  Like, jeez, it’s one of Hamilton’s main recurring issues and the one I always identified with the most.  Anyway, it was a toss up between this and the argument he has with Laurens at the end of the chapter, but it’s the same deal really.)

“What did I say wrong?”  Lafayette asked.  “I didn’t mean anything bad.  I was teased a lot too, you know, but I’m happy for the two of you.  I like being in a relationship like that.  The closeness, the cuddling…”

“Yeah,” Hamilton said sharply and more directly than he meant to, “‘cause you’re not being treated like the freakin’ girl!”

Lafayette looked at him in surprise and Hamilton, embarrassed, turned away.

“Shit,” he said, walking towards the platform.  “Don’t tell him I said that.  I didn’t mean it like that.”

“John doesn’t think of you as a girl.”

“I know that.”

“Well, if you know that…”

Hamilton didn’t say anything.

“Do you think other people see you that way?”

“Fuck other people.  How should I know what they think?”

“You would make a very bad girl,” Lafayette said.

“Shut up.”

“I don’t think anyone sees it like that except for you.  John certainly doesn’t.”

“I know—look, fine,” Hamilton said, accepting that he was just going to be that annoying guy having a fight on the subway.  He dug a quarter out of his pocket and tossed it into a street performer’s open guitar case to try and balance his karma out.  “So he doesn’t, great.  I feel bad, okay?  I know he doesn’t—I like when—It’s just the way other people react sometimes.  Like I’m…”  Hamilton paused, gesturing helplessly as he tried to find the words.  “…Less than him.  Like with his friends, I liked that on the whole, it was great, I’m glad he had a good time and they were chill.  But there were a couple moments where it was like they were almost making fun of me.”

“They teased me, too,” Lafayette protested.

“Bully for you.”  Hamilton saw Lafayette’s hand twitch towards his pocket and he sighed.  “Go ahead, write that one down.  It’s dated, that’s probably why you haven’t heard it yet.”

Lafayette tucked the box under his arm then took out his notebook and copied the phrase out.

“I know it’s stupid,” Hamilton said, making an effort to lower his voice.  “It shouldn’t matter.  There’s nothing ‘feminine’ about it and even if there was, that’s not a bad thing.  But it’s weird, okay, and I don’t like it.  It’s not about being with him,” he went on after a pause in which they both waited as the train loudly pulled up.  “I just hate being made to feel like less of a man for it.”

Lafayette cocked his head to the side, considering this.  They got into a car and took hold of a pole near the door.

“Fucking bullshit heteronormativity,” Hamilton complained as the car pulled away, taking a step to the side for balance.  “Gender doesn’t function in a void, Lafayette.  In a perfect world none of this would matter and also I’d live in an apartment that didn’t leak heat during the winter.”

Neither of them said anything as the car rattled along to its next stop.

“You know what’s extra bullshit,” Hamilton started up again as the train stopped.  “I fucked him today.  I should be the one getting all the accolades.  Instead it’s just, oh, look at the little guy, he’s so cute.  Bullshit,” he muttered again, tugging his scarf down.  “Doesn’t always bother me,” he added.  “I dunno, I know you didn’t mean anything by it.  Wasn’t even the tone.  I don’t know.”

“I think you’re very masculine.”

“Thanks.”  Hamilton still sounded sullen.

5) Out (Is it weird to say that I consider this part “a classic”?  This is the thing that got me by far the most amount of comments and, I mean, Laurens earned it.)

“God damn,” Humphreys complained, freshly dressed and sitting next to Laurens on the bench between the rows of lockers and working at a knot in his neck.  He tipped his head to the side so that fine braids slid like a curtain over his hand.  “Don’t get me wrong, Laurens, I don’t want to blow my shoulder out, but you don’t even know how much shit I would have gotten into if I had gotten a month and a half off.”

“Dirty shit,” Tench laughed.  “Go back to your farm, find some of those sheep?”

“Shut up,” Humphreys said, laughing as well.  “That was a business plan.”

“Yeah, the oldest business in the world.  Sam, catch.”  Another player walking by caught his wallet without missing a beat.  “I owe you ten.”  The money was taken and the wallet was tossed back.  Tench dropped it in his bag.

“Anyway, like I was saying, it’s not that I envy you, just those extra six weeks.”

“I hear you,” Tallmadge agreed, coming back from the shower in just a towel.  “It’s hard to visit my girlfriend during the week.  It takes so long to drive down, it’s really only possible on the weekend, but then, okay, so we can’t fool around as much as I’d like.  Not that I’m actually ready for the monastery like our boy Laurens,” he teased, shoving Laurens playfully as he opened his locker.  “How’re you holding up?  I’d have assumed you just weren’t interested if I hadn’t had to listen to you for all these years.”

“Sainthood’s a real lonely road,” Tench added.

“Hey, come on,” Laurens protested, not really thinking about what he was saying, “My boyfriend’s all over me too, I know what it’s like.”

There was actually a moment of stunned silence in the locker room during which time Laurens braced for—

“You aren’t single?  Hey, look, it only took five years!  That means there’s still hope for you yet,” Tallmadge said loudly, slapping a passing first year, the younger of the two Trumbull brothers, hard on the back.  “If you bitch about not getting a date one more time, I’m not stopping your older brother from whaling on you.”

Laurens watched in relieved surprise as various conversations picked back up around him.

“That explains why you haven’t gotten any personal fouls so far this season,” Tench teased him.

“So can we know who it is yet?  Or is it still a secret?”  Tallmadge dropped his towel to change, facing his locker.  “I want to know who tamed the stallion.”

“‘The stallion’?”  Humphreys was packing his bag.  “Oh, come on, and I’m stuck with the sheep?”

“You wrote that paper, you brought this upon yourself,” McHenry said, breaking away from his earlier conversation and pushing up his glasses.  “So who’s the lucky gent?  I’m with Tallmadge, he deserves a Goddamn medal for finally wearing you down.”

“Alex,” Laurens started, caught between embarrassed and incredibly grateful.  “Alexander Hamilton.”

“Hamilton…  The guy with you at the trustee dinner?  Short,” Tench said, gesturing his height.  “Wavy hair?  We went to André’s after.”

“That guy?”  McHenry cut in.  He tugged at the collar to his shirt and glanced down at himself, feeling the tag sticking out in the front.  “Shit.”  His voice was muffled for a second as he pulled it off over his head, flashing well-defined abs and two faint scars curving under his chest, then put it back on.  “He works for the dean, doesn’t he?”

“Secretary to the president,” Laurens said, tentatively bragging a little.

“I thought he was with your roommate?”

“André’s his friend, he said that was just a rumor.”

“Obviously,” Tench rolled his eyes at Tallmadge.  “Know-it-all.”

“Hey, André,” Humphreys called as André, also in a towel and with his hair wet and down in his eyes, showed up.  “Did you know Laurens’ been holding out on us?”

“Uh.”  André looked quickly at Laurens, who stood up.

“All right, all right, that’s enough.”

“So how is it?”  Tench asked, ignoring Laurens’ protests.  “Does he just want it all the time?”

“What?”

“You said he was all over you,” Tench pushed.  “Did you have to give up your rule?”

Laurens reddened slightly.  “No.”

“What?  So, nothing?  Not at all?”

“All season?”  Tallmadge asked.  “I take it back, he’s the saint, not you.”

“Wait, you did fuck though, didn’t you?  You were together at the dinner, right?”

Laurens, still standing, not sure what was really stopping him from just walking away, felt an excited rush of camaraderie.  “Yeah, we were, and we did.  The night before,” he added before he managed to second guess himself and lose his nerve, “I fucked him so good he cried.”

Another shocked silence, then a delighted whoop of laughter.

“That’s our boy!”  Tallmadge pounded Laurens on the back as he grinned, simultaneously self-conscious and proud.

“Damn,” Humphreys shook his head.  “And here I thought we were going to need to give you a talk about the birds and the bees before you graduated and got sent out into the real world.”

“Maybe we still do,” Tench said.  “Laurens, let me make this brief: you’re a moron.”

Laurens frowned, unsure.  “What?”

“You said it yourself, he’s all over you.  Go take advantage of that opportunity, man!  You’ve waited long enough.”

“I had sex in high school,” Laurens protested weakly.

“Yeah, you know, you told some of us that story,” McHenry pointed out, “and while it sounded like a real great time, half a decade has passed in between.”

“He’s pretty cute,” Tallmadge agreed as Laurens stared at him in disbelief.  “Long eyelashes.”

“Since…  Since when do you check out other guys?”

“Relax, please, I sat next to him in lecture once.  I remember because they friggin’ cast shadows on his face.”

“Uh-huh,” Laurens said, not sure at all about what to do with that.

“You do want to sleep with him, don’t you?”  McHenry asked.  “This isn’t another basil farm incident, is it?”

Laurens looked over at André, who studied the ceiling.

“No, uh,” Laurens said eloquently.  “The sex is—it’s good.  I enjoy it.”

“Then go fuck your boyfriend,” Tench told him, a little louder than Laurens would have preferred.  “Seriously, Laurens!  Did you hit your head when you ripped your shoulder out of its socket?  He wants to, you want to, that grand tradition you thought you were holding to is a bunch of bullshit—no one actually does it.  If you’re so concerned about your stamina then don’t sleep with him the night before the game!  Jesus!”

“His girlfriend’s on study abroad,” André reminded Laurens, nodding his head at Tench.

“Right.”

“Lucky son of a bitch,” Tench muttered, zipping up his bag forcefully and slinging it over his shoulders as he stood.  “Right, I’m starving.  You getting breakfast, Laurens?”

Laurens smiled.  “Sure.  Sounds good.”

[sogytits]

I’ve Already Abandoned This but enjoy it anyway

She was rushing, obviously late for something judging by the way she kept checking her phone. Late enough that she didn’t even notice when the fur coat, pelt maybe fell out of what looked like a gym bag. She just kept power walking.

“Excuse me!” I shout after her picking up the pelt as I pass by it. It is honestly the softest thing I've ever felt, softer than the dried otter pelt the zoo had when I was a kid. I could only imagine what poor animal it had come from. I was almost compelled to keep it, but figured it must be high quality and it was super important that she’d just buy a new one, she looked like she had the money. “Excuse me Ma’am!” I shout again hoping that I can catch up to return it.

She turns around looking stressed like she did not have to time for this.

“You dropped this” I say realizing how absolutely stunning she is now that I'm close enough to see her face. She’s way taller than I am which is saying something, but she’s also in heels. She has sharp features and tightly wound muscles on her exposed arms. I stop myself there as to not completely short circuit and drool over this poor women when she obviously has somewhere to be. “I figured you’d want it back” I explain almost in a daze, her eyes were a dark hazel upturned eyes. I realized I was still hugging the pelt close to my body and quickly jutted my arm out to offer it to her.

The look on her face was that of complete and utter shock, like she couldn’t quite process what was happening. She reached out to grab the pelt and quickly brought it to her body as if a millimeters separation would kill her. “Thank you.” she said still on auto pilot.

She stood frozen looking at me. I quickly got uncomfortable from her unwavering stare. “Weren’t you on your way somewhere?” I prompt hoping to get out of her attention.

“Right I was rushing.” she says robotically and shifts her attention to the pelt pressed against her torso as she turns and slowly wanders off all sense of urgency lost.

“Did you break that poor woman Morgan” Nina came up and slapped a hand on my shoulder looking at the woman I had just given the pelt back who hadn’t gotten far and looked completely lost now.

“I think I might have.” I concede watching the poor woman walking away. “ I did the right thing though right.” I asked feeling like I messed up by giving the pelt back.

“100% that was model behavior in that situation” they comforted starting to pull me away from watching her walk away. She had great legs, more obviously muscular than her arms. “come on it’s no use dwelling.” they moved their hand from my shoulder to intertwined it with my arm and pulled me away from the scene.

~

“Come on Morgan you have to leave work at some point.” Nina whine over the phone, trying to get me to get me to entertain them well they brewed things for their clients.

“I know I have to leave work at some point and I will but it’s tuesday and whenever I hang out with you well your brewing we end up staying up till 3 and I have a huge research grant proposal that’s due next week I can’t afford to be sleep deprived.” I explain not even taking a pause from my proofreading.

“What if I promise to let you go home by midnight and make you some of those energy drops for you coffee you love so much” they bribe in a sing song voice with the small clacks in the background indicating that they were already setting up to brew.

“You swore you’d never give them to me again after I didn’t sleep for a week and started seeing auras” I stopped proofreading because they sure as hell had my attention now. Those drops where a god send when there was work to be done.

“You were not seeing auras you were just hallucinating from lack of sleep, and I'm desperate you know how lonely I get brewing alone.” they grumble and I can just see the pout on their face, god I've known them too long.

“Fine.” I say with  heavy sigh “i could use the break my brains stopped functioning anyway, but I leave by 12 and I get those drops, no take backs.” I reprimand like a child as I gather my things, if I'm honest with myself I hadn’t gotten actual productive work done since 6:30 so this might actually be helpful.

“Scouts honor” they say accompanied by a rustling that suggests they actually stood at attention when they said that.

“I’m seriously holding you to that. I’m leaving now I'll go home and change quick then head over.” Luckily Nina lived just two floors below me so it wasn’t out of my way to go home and change first.

“Make it fast I'm already lonely.”

“Love you you needy bitch” I respond turning the light off and locking my office.

“Love you to you disaster whore.” They laughed out and hung up.

The walk to our apartment building was uneventful, luckily. Although I did feel like I was being followed periodically, but you needed a key to get into the building so when no one tried to follow me in, I stopped panicking. I gave a quick wave to my landlord who was still in her office, but instead of the mischievous smile I usually got I just got a weird look. I just brush past it and headed to my apartment.

Mid putting pajamas on there was a knock on my door “damn it Nina I’m going as fast as I can.” I call out and quick pull my shirt down so I could let them in while I grab my phone and keys. It was not Nina at my door. It was the woman who I broke by returning the pelt to her this morning.

“Hello,” she said shyly “i just came to say thank you and to give you this.” she pulled out what looked like a ring box “ I figured you would appreciate getting married by human customs as well.” she explained as she opened what was definitely a ring box to reveal one gigantic engagement ring.

All brain function stopped. I don’t think I was even breathing at this point.my jaw was on the floor. I couldn’t even start processing what was going on. Hot woman whose name I don’t even know is proposing by saying human customs. What the honest fuck.

“Can I come in so we can talk?” she asks bashfully and all I can do in response is step aside so im not blocking the doorway. Oh god I'm going to die aren’t I? “I went about this all wrong didn’t I? I knew I should have courted you some first. I knew this was too sudden, that’s the last I listen to Lía. let’s start over.” she gave a guilty smile “my name is Mysie, and I’m a selkie you picked up my pelt and returned it to me so now we’re married.” she states like it’s completely normal and she’s not insane.

“Maisie… selkie… pelt… married…” I repeat trying to start processing again and failing epicly, my mouth just opening and closing like a fish out of water as I stare at her without really seeing.

“Yeah” she answered, probably sheepish but I could not process any more information.

“...no…” I respond automatically because none of that could be possible, selkies aren’t real and I can’t be married to one. They’re mythological so none of this can be real.

“Bitch what is taking you so long” Nina called out letting themselves into my apartment with the spare key. They saw the panic on my face and the woman from earlier. “What is going on here” their voice got very stern, something that almost never happens. They picked up the bat I kept by my door just incase.

“You were with her this morning. You should know, your an eighth pixie it might be harder but you should know whats going on.” Mysie almost begged turning around with her hands up.

Nia lowered the bat in surprise “your a selkie, that’s why you freaked out in the park. I knew something was off about you when you rushed by. I think we should head to my apartment to talk.” Nina suggested placing the bat back in its rightful spot and coming to collect me and the things I needed because I was still practically catatonic. “I also don’t appreciate you breaking my best friend” they spit out as we walked by Mysie and to the elevator.