#im feeling so guilty about it
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everything is too much rn im so stressed
#i still have 3 more assignments to work on that are due next week#which are all group projects by the way which makes it so much more unecessarily annoying#its been so stressful at home. i havent been able to spend time with my partner at all. im out of my anxiety meds#my room is a mess i need to clean and organize things and also my computer files are a nightmare rn and ;___;#i want to draw for artfight but i just literally have not had the time and energy to do it#im thinking maybe i really should not be participating this year but like. i did anyway bc its mostly this week that im busy but. UGHHHH#and i really want to draw ive been having some ideas for attacks i rlly want to work on!!!! and i wanna get some ppl back!!!! im!!!!!#im feeling so guilty about it#but also. yeah.
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happy unofficial birthday to my son!!! 🎂
wondering what’s in that box…. (genuinely don’t know) (i rushed this) (badly)
#watch one of you say his present was a gun. i mean you’re not wrong but i wouldn’t be surprised if someone would say that#will solace#will solace fanart#solangelo#solangelo fanart#id feel guilty bc im making his birthday about solangelo… but i did the same for nicos birthday with less effort so whatever#nico di angelo#nico di angelo fanart#pjo#pjo fanart#pjo hoo toa tsats#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#the trials of apollo#pjoverse#pjo fandom#rrverse#my art#percy jackon and the olympians#riordan verse#riordanverse#artists on tumblr
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it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what
#theresbeen some hiccups like the first month i started to realize my work drive was 90% fear based#so ivehad to develop like actual work schedule and discipline thats not just 'everyone will hate me if i dont'#but its been working! now getting stuff done actually... feels.... good?#instead of like throwing water over one fire only to run to the next one#like before nothing was ever satisfying. i was always just running around panicked#now im like. okay this is what i have to get done today. yay! i finished it! now i go to bed. okay now its the next day#the only other thing ive noticed is ive become seemingly like. more. autistic acting.#like i get More fixated on my special interests now. i can think about something for hours straight instead of getting guilty and thinking#'oh im being greedy im being lazy with my time i should be doing something productive'
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feast (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello....#i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is#completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo#but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei#travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point.#humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on#& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas.#theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve#done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but#in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise#since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times#if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess#ruporas art
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*grips your shoulders* an eight year old is not gonna act like that. put the pen down. close the laptop. stop writing for a minute. volunteer at a daycare center for a week or smth. an eight year old is typically (unless they're purposely doing it, but at that point you'll be able to tell) not going to speak in one word sentences. that is a child with a possible developmental delay and should probably get an assessment done. that is a two year old with an MLU score of 2.0 who is struggling with their present possessive verbs. look up the average heights of an eight year old because i promise they're bigger than that.
if your six year old is still doing reduplicated babbling and it's not clearly an on purpose active play decision, then they should probably (re: REALLY) undergo evaluation because one of the first signs of a developmental delay is delayed speech. children begin speaking in two word utterances as young as 18 months old. three year olds on average can hold simple conversations with adults. four year olds absoLUTELy can.
i know it's super fun to write children as being dependent and clingy to their parent for your super fluffy found family child fic but that is not a six year old that is a worryingly large two year old with a mild speech delay. you don't have to be 1:1 accurate, god knows i'm not but please at least know that children on average are capable of holding simple conversations by the time they're 4, and are usually doing the baby talk stuff to be cute or as a play thing. which isn't a bad thing but if they're talking like that unironically and ALL the time, then there is likely a problem in their development.
#*wails melodramatically*#starry rambles#starry is an early education major and daycare teacher and is showing off that knowledge.#its not that deep i just get really passionate about child development because its my special interest and what im in college for#and now reading kidfics is that much harder because of it.#*points at the in-fic seven year old unironically behaving the same way as a 9 month old* THAT CHILD NEEDS AN EVALUATION STAT.#like iM GUILTY TOO. IM GUILT OF INFANTILIZING KIDS IN KIDFICS BUT ALSO. EVERY TIME I SEE IT HAPPEN MY TEETH ITCH#AND I FEEL AN INTENSE URGE TO INFODUMP. BUT THAT'D BE RUDE TO THE FIC AUTHOR SO IM MAKING MY OWN POST ABOUT IT#its not that deep and its not that serious i just wanted to infodump
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Venom is back!!!! He's looking stylish!!
#guilty gear#guilty gear venom#fanart#my art#venom guilty gear#venom#venom is probably my fav character after the beds#currently feeling him a bit more though#AAAH im so happy hes is gonna be in strive i will learn charge inputs for you king#i really love his pants too exaggerating on them being 2 different pairs is so gooooood#i hope they darken his skin a bit more bc hes looking pale but thats about my only complaint#even unika looks good now. i hope she lives up to expectations#and dizzy looks fantastic!!
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can't stop thinkin of you!
[image description: a collage piece featuring homestar and strong bad from homestar runner. on the right is 3d art of homestar smiling openly with a thought bubble filled with pixel art of the two inside. next to that is wavy text that says "i know, i know we always wrestle, i know sometimes i put up a fight, i know, i know we always tussle, but maybe it's because i love you", with 3d text below that that says "sorry bro, i love you!". behind the 3d text is 3d art of a cloud and a rainbow, with a small, indignant 3d strong bad sitting on top. the canvas is littered with small hearts and stars, and the entire piece is colorful and heavily saturated. end id]
#somethin silly i started on a couple weeks ago that i decided to finish since my wrists hurtin again#the 3d bits were made in paint 3d and pretty much everything else was done in clip studio#i feel the need to apologize for posting about homestar so much lately but i need to not do that. im having fun and thats what matters#hard not to feel weird and guilty about doing what i want but i am trying to get better#anyways this is based off of sorry bro (i love you) by dorian electra. its them coded to me#doc talks#my art#eyestrain#homestar runner#h*r#strong bad#strongstar
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noticing in your vents—
is your sister okay too?
We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.
#messyr#vent post#we have separate fams and both of us are the eldest. She mostly stays at mother side and I stay at my father's although dad is never home.#The rest of the members in my father side can put quips here and there to make her feel guilty and she does get guilty mostly about money#I ALSO provide them and HER financial support while also trying to pay for myself. I'm VERY exhausted.#unlike me she's not caged up here- but with a few restrictions still#while im BOUND to my family (father side) and they always target me so that's a pretty neat deal than seeing my sister suffer the same#just thinking of it makes me want to throw up HAHAH#there are times- she does things by action or words that makes me feel like- yknow. she loves me back. that's enough for me
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day 169
this is it, the dynamic
#day 169#year 5#aradia megido#kanaya maryam#homestuck#arakan#based largely on their first pesterlog#kanaya is so. FUCKING condescending to her and its funny#actually edit: i added the link to the page just read it#kanaya being a lil shit is my favorite for her actually#and aradia being like 0h n0t this shit again#like its just so!!!!!!#funny but also like KIND OF GENUINELY MEAN FOR NO REASON fjdhjdhd#its LITERALLY just kanaya dropping into aradias dms to be like#Hey Bestie Just A Reminder That You Should Feel A Little Bit Guilty About Everything That Happens From Here On Out#Even Though It Is Basically Inevitable#Lucky For You Though I Am Going To Be Very Gracious And Clean Up After Whatever Dumb Shit You Are About To Pull With This Game#like GIRL WHAT IS UR DAMAGE FKDHSKHDGD im obsessed#i mean obviously she has some fucked up feelings internally about participating in a game that ends the world#i wonder if she feels guilty herself for letting aradia and sollux pull half the code from her set of frog ruins#like. maybe shes so guilt trippy about it because she wants to convince herself that all the blame can be put on aradia#and that if she voices her disapproval OF aradias actions then shes like. on record as being Right About The Situation#but ALSO if she is sooo magnanimous and forgiving about it then maybe nobody has to be punished for all of it (not even herself)#idk IDK. i just think its fascinating as a kanaya character moment especially as one of her earliest conversations
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another from the archives🥲 She's a menace <3
#i can't believe this....#8 years later?? im posting stepdad solavellan again#i have a fic where she straight up asks him all excited if he's seen the creators the second she finds out he's a dreamer fdksjfak#and he has to start lying to her immediately and feels guilty about it#but also reilora was NOT going to tell him she had a daughter. until like after they dealt w corypheus. so he's a little miffed#she kept this under wraps from him for so long. but like he gets it bc it's also not safe for her kid#she could have trusted him w this but she didn't :)#pina art#adhlea: were you always fuckin bald?#solas: i think it's time we found your mother
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OH!!!!! HAVE YOU CHECKED THE CYBER CAFÉ DUMPSTER by any chance? there HAS to be some leftover cake there!!!! i heard there was an event recently!!
#Sorry if its a little choppy i was starting to feel really guilty LMAOO#and im short on time a bit#BUT#its done and i cant even bare to look AHA#maybe i enjoy being evil.. a little..#BTW THIS IS NOT A BAD REACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARENT BEING PUNISHED!!#i mean besides this being crushing but ill elaborate give me a little#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy#hes grateful. he really is. um. but theres a mix of emotions that was just maybe a lot.#I feel like he needs this a bit#sorry but not sorry him CRYING in front of you means a lot if you decide you want to pick it apart and understand it a bit more aha#i havent really made him like cry or anything because he REALLY hates it especially infront of other people and it just wasnt enough yet#uh and i was a little nervous about doing it until someone else did it and it was like a 'ohh okay... so i CAN do that...' moment and i#gave myself permission
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can i be so honest for second
i don’t post it i don’t bring attention to it on here, i don’t want to show other people on here and i know i failed in ignoring it by talking about it.
I get racist shit flung at me so much and it fucks with me so much more than i’d like to admit , and like I know im an easy to target bc i love primates my sonas are monkeys and I know theres racial connotations that can be flung AT me that I didn’t ask for .
i know its used to be hateful against black people and people purposefully use it to be discriminatory and people use it against me. I can’t escape that, and I always have to live with the knowledge that people are probably giggling to themselves coming into my inbox calling me the hard r or someone coming on my pinned post to call me a slur or call me a disgusting monkey or my f/o will never love me bc im black or whatever .
and it makes sad that the moment I want to be upset and vocalize something about it people get uncomfortable and want to bail bc I guess hearing me complain about people being blatantly racist to me and makes me upset is too much . I don’t know i just wish I was allowed to be openly upset about it without people getting upset at me. I don’t know
#and I always loved monkeys. I find it comforting in a way to reclaim that#I genuinely don’t understand what makes people so hateful#I feel so guilty wanting to talk about it and be upset. I don’t know#txt#delete later probably#im sorry if this is sudden#vent#antiblackness#// sorry for forgetting some tags
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X-Men Red: Magneto's last words and Charles in mourning.
Important additions from Resurrection of Magneto:
#xmen#Krakoa#cherik#x men red#resurrection of magneto#magneto#professor x#charles xavier#storm#ororo munroe#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#ngl i see why ppl have been pushing to call him max now but i still like erik more as a name 😭#feel guilty like im deadnaming him when i call him Erik now#conflicted about it#also charles looks so freaking pretty in resurrection of Magneto theres another panel with his full face and man is gorg
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I think that being alone in frasco made aba a very sensory-oriented person. and that translates a lot into how she shows affection, especially given paracelsus, while he can be hugged or kissed or humped, can’t really reciprocate too terribly much and probably doesn’t feel it as vividly or in the same way as those of biological body. basically what I���m saying is aba does asmr for paracelsus as a form of intimacy
#im imagining this came along at least in the point in the relationship where the romance is mutual#initially para didn’t know how to feel about it and was just generally surprised by it bc’s aba’s weirdness is usually overt and intense#and while again being a key probably dampens the pure physical aspect#the audio and just her care and attention makes it very soothing#and of course aba would love fidgeting and making weird noises anyway so getting to do that specifically for him is just ideal for her#this might be projection but I do not care#art#my art#guilty gear#ggst#aba guilty gear#aba ggst#paracelsus guilty gear#paracelsus ggst#abacelsus
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human-ish paracelsus from memory + my onion. fun as hell and i kept drawing more...
#guilty gear#paracelsus#guilty gear strive#a.b.a#aba guilty gear#let me tag her if i promise to draw her soon...#IM FEELING SO OUT OF PRACTICE GRAHHH IM AFRAID TO DRAW ABA... i will try... 4 them#if you showed me paras and said he was a new Hylics wreature id believe you instantly#he has a lot of wayne-isms i simply cant ignore... dont look at me look at his 100% hairless bod#im not confident his hair is hair either...#we dont talk about what else i drew tonight
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victorian furfur wip i did some time ago
#i’ll be real with u im never going to finish it#still had fun drawing it#like we know furfur had a specific attire in the 40’s so it makes sense there’s another one for the victorian era#i feel guilty about posting original art when there are ppl waiting for their commissions lol#but i haven’t done any reece stuff in such a long time#i will be definitely drawing some in9 stuff once the next series comes out#im going to the bfi thing im so excited#furfur#reece shearsmith#good omens#my art
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