#im faving my own post because it was such an experience

[egberts]

lesbian matchmaker extraordinaire. buckle up for drunk story time and know I'm working so hard to spell everything correctly. we went to a lesbian bar drag king show and this sweet very small fem who spoke little english gravitated towards me immediately and then after the show sought me out to dance. she asked in spanish if i wanted to dance with her and because i grew up learning spanish from my bilingual mother i understood and explained i could speak a little spanish and she was like yes. this is the pussy I'm getting tonight. so we danced and she??? put my hands on her boobs. which like, I guess it was fine. the whole theme for the night was consent but she doesn't speak English so i didn't blame her for not understanding when that rule was established by the MC. however, when alana (my gf) walked up with my margarita and she was like oh. you have a girlfriend. and i was like yes but it's okay to dance! but she was very embarrassed. she still danced with us though so kudos for that but here's where we get juicy. there was another girl, alone. clocked. i was like, "love your dress! are you alone?" and she said yes, so i asked her if she wanted to dance with us and she said yes! and we all four had fun dancing for all of one song before the two single lesbians ended up dancing on each other. like I'm talking these two were dry humping on the dance floor. they were fused at the hips. i didn't even know how to say goodbye so we just left ☠️

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

[beescake]

PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)

[lexosaurus]

idk if this is a contreversial take or not but i think that the ideal internet experience is being able to remove specific things (triggers, nsfw, gore) if you truly dont want to see them but overall being also shown things you aren’t interested in. i think one of my fave things about tumblr is seeing like 50% of my dash be about fandoms im not in, bands i dont like and quotes from books i dont want to read rather than this endless feedback loop of tiktok showing me ‘exactly what i want to see’ in a trap to keep me online as long as possible and blind to communities outside of my own. i want a mix of curating my own experience and a healthy dose of content i don’t already know i want to see, yknow?

No I think this is a pretty safe take here on Tumblr. I think stuff like this is why most of us are still here on Tumblr instead of moving to other sites like Twitter (rip) or Tiktok, you know? Because we like that this is the last social media with no algorithm, and we want to keep it that way.

To be clear, this site DOES have an "optional" algorithm that everyone is automatically opted in on, and you have to go to your settings and turn it off manually (recently found out, you have to opt out on your desktop and on your mobile. They're treated as separate settings). But the fact that you can opt out at all is HUGE.

Like, I can just go ahead and turn this thing off, and then that's it! It's off!

I was thinking yesterday about how before Instagram and Facebook had an algorithm, people genuinely just used them to stay in touch with all the happenings from their friends and family. Like, I remember going on Facebook every single day to see what my friends and family that didn't live nearby were up to. It was so fun! And then once the algorithm hit, suddenly I was bombarded with all this stupid bullshit that I didn't care about but Facebook/Instagram thought I cared about. And then only people who I "interacted" with most would be shown to me, aka people that didn't post as often or I didn't message as much wouldn't be shown to me, and it was such a sly, sinister change that I didn't even realize how many of my friends/people I followed weren't being shown to me till I slowly stopped using the app as much because wtf why am I only being shown the same 10 people? Why can't I join a fb group without it invading my entire feed? Where is everyone else? Why does this app feel So Empty?

There's a noticeable decrease of people on this site now compared to the 2010s, but weirdly enough, this is like the only social media for me that still feels like people are on it. That I can genuinely interact with mutuals without some robot deciding, "Oh, you interacted with this one person once? You browsed their blog for 5 minutes? NOW I WILL ONLY SHOW YOU THIS SINGLE PERSON'S CONTENT IN EVERY OTHER POST IN YOUR FEED FOR THE NEXT MONTH."

This has turned into a big long rant from me but like shit, dude, it's so sad how much of our online experience is controlled by algorithms now.

[akarisandraws]

What's your big opinion on every Sonic character don't skip any detail

Dude, do you know how many sonic characters are there?

Like a lot. So im gonna keep it on the main ones LOLL

Maybe i'll add to this tho. We'll see.

HERE WE GO!!

Sonic: He's my favourite character of all times! Such a funky fella. I love his way of thinking, (as in everyone deserves second chances and freedom is important) and of acting, with the whole attitude. He gives me a sense of freedom that i haven't felt from any other media at all! Its quite impressive honestly. I could write pages upon pages on how Sonic as a character is like the peak of literature in my eyes, but this post would get way too long. In summary tho, i like almost every aspect of Sonic the Character.

Tails: The baby! I also really love tails! I think his role as a sideckick is very endearing, and is a great balance to sonic in all possible ways. One problem with modern Tails, though. He's portrayed as a coward. And like??? That's not who he is?? Like C'mon sega.

Knuckles: He don't chuckle!! Final part of team Sonic, and Sonic's first rival! I really like the knucklehead. But as is the norm, Sega screwed him up badly on Boom. I despise that they're supposed to be the same Knuckles. Because they're not. I like Boom Knuckles, as his own character, but granted, Boom is an acquired taste.

Amy: Honorary part of team sonic! I love her! Mostly on the IDW Comics. I think they handle her excellently in there. I know that Amy is a hated character by the fanbase because most say that her only purpose is to be the "girl character love interest" and i can agree up to some point in some games, but in IDW she's sooo much better. We stan IDW Sonic.

Shadow: Yet another case of Sega making character assassination. Shadow's like, one of the most complex sonic characters there are, If not THE most complex one. And i love that! Though im very sad that Sega hasn't been able to replicate that SA2 Magic quite as well. Will SonicXShadow (heh) give him justice? Stay tuned.

Rouge: MY GIRL!! Ok so controversial opinion, Rouge's my second favourite sonic character, just because i think its hilarious that she (once) was the leader of team Dark. So She commanded a killing machine and An alien experiment. What a girlboss! 10/10 Character.

Omega: Gotta be honest, not much of an omega fan. But i really like his dynamic w/Rouge and Shadow. It's pretty sweet that they become friens :)

Cream: The other baby! I think she's the sweetest character. Like fr. I really want to see her more often on the games! Though i get why in recent games she hasn't appeared. Suddenly the adventures got way too serious. Still want her back in the games though!

Blaze: Fire princess! I fr am so salty that she isn't as much in the games. Like, what gives? She's such a successful character (With good reason btw) and you arent like, putting her in the stage?? outrageous. But yeah, i really Like Blaze. Her contrast and similarities with sonic are great! They make a great duo too.

Silver: The sweetest most unhinged boi in the sonic canon. I find it very funny that in his first appearance he was all angsty and stuff, but now he's full on optimism and sunshine. I love the juxtaposition on that behalf. Boi is cute but he can mess you up.

The Chaotix: Oh i love the found family trope. Espio's my fave for sure. He's the funny ninja, what else do you want? Though Vector and Charmy are great too. Vector has such a cool ass dad vibe. And Charmy... is Charmy. if yk yk.

AAAAND I think i'll leave it there. Should i include someone else? lmk.

Thanks for the ask!

-Akari

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

on the thg swiftie stuff . the most insane thing ive ever seen as someone who frequents the thg tag on tumblr is someone made an edit wherein they were like 'what if katniss everdeen became a musician after the war and was effectively the taylor swift of panem' and they made album edits for every ts album but using pictures of jenlaw instead and in the post they were like 'its just crazy to me how much of taylor swifts discography perfectly aligns with the type of music katniss would write i HAD to make this edit' and im like . Did you forget the part at the end of mockingjay where katniss was like um id rather be dead actually than share my singing with the world . thats something thats just for me . also... katniss writing taylor's songs... i know she's fictional but literally what does taylor swift's lived experiences have in common with katniss everdeen's . be so fucking for real rn .

i am telling you my anon in arms swifties do not fucking read. literally everytime ive read an ooc thg character analysis its ALWAYS by a swifties. these bitches pick and choose traits abt these characters JUST TO JUSTIFY the ts edit they want to make. THEYRE INSANE!!!!

also katniss would NEVER write self victimizing love songs 12 (or however many albums she has) albums straight!!!! katniss hates herself and literally thinks she doesn’t deserve peeta what!!!!! she is so self sacrificial and she HATES the spotlight and she hates performing for the capitol she would never ever ever ever be the taylor swift of panem!!!!!

ugh anon at least you get my pain. swifties r so dumb and ruin fandom with their self insert of their own interests and personality in their fave characters instead of possessing any critical thinking skills and view and appreciate the characters as they are. i think its because swifties can only humanize characters if they insert themselves into these characters. horrible

[themoodyestj]

Misha boring ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

sorry darling but that’s Jared. Jared is boring.

you guys keep going to hellers account, screen shot, make 100% inaccurate takes on what it said in the hellers blogs. I am not talking about you moody but your j2 fan anons. Hellers weren’t the once who wrote death threats to Jensen after the rust incident saying that it should’ve been him not the poor girl. It weren’t the hellers who called Jensen unemployed when he was guest staring. It wasn’t the hellers use Jensen as a prise. That’s all j2 and jp fans. And the fact that you keep on talking about Misha proves that your fave Jared is a boring man when hellers majority of the Time talks about Jensen and Misha as individuals and as a couple but mostly individuals.

Ok, Anon, let's talk.

Topic is: fandom and harrassment.

I understand that all "sides" of the fandom are in sort of a spectrum. We have hellers that are perfectly nice and respectful and Hellers that come to my inbox to spew hate. We have AAs that sympathize with Jenneel but can still observe odd behaviors and AAs have abandoned all common sense, logic or even humanity.

The same can be said with JP fans and J2 fans. I have never experienced it personally, maybe because what i believe falls more in line with what they believe. My experience is JP and J2 fans is, however, very peaceful. They seem respectful. And Im pretty sure that if Jared knew his fans were harrassing people, hed be the first one to intervene.

Along with my J2 fans, like you say, I have posted screenshots and commented on what is there. I find that to be perfectly normal behaviour. I wouldnt be offended if someone took a screenshot out of my blog and posted it with their own comments. Sadly, as I have proved already with a screenshot of their blog, the people who criticize me seem to be scared of crediting me for my words or even share my blog. Maybe because they know, deep down, that im right.

The line for me is this: If you go to someone's blog, inbox or tag them and disturb the natural peace of their blog to spew your hate just because you disagree, youre a delulu. People have the right to live their fantasies, ships in any way they find fitting as long as it doesnt disturb the right for other people to not agree with those ships and fantasies.

Now, regarding your accusations of J2 and JP fans sending death threats... I cant tell you they happened or they didnt happen. Especially because the people who cried wolf have been asked repeatedly for proof... and none showed up. So if you say it with so much certainty, I will assume you have them and ask you to come forward. If you present such evidence, I will be the first to make a post about it, as I never condoned this behaviour from any side. But you have to excuse me for being suspicious. People say a lot of crap that never happened. So my stance is, pics or it didnt happen.

However, Im going to need to correct you on some information you may have wrong. You said "Hellers weren’t the once who wrote death threats to Jensen". Well, maybe not during the Rust incident, but there is actually proof that Hellers threatened Jensen, and very openly for that matter, tagging him so he could see them. Here's a sample for you.

You can find many of them in this post.

So maybe I would advise you to educate yourself on the ship you seem to follow, and decide for yourself if this is the stinky hill you want to die on.

[doyouremem8erme]

ask game time! 💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

somebody told me that terezi was a bad character on instagram so im gonna write an essay on why shes my fave character

first off her sheer chaotic energy is fucking iconic. the complaint on instagram wasnt about that because it cant be denied but shes just fucking insane and i love her for it. i think shed bite off my fingers and then insult the taste of my skin. shes just so crazy and weird and murderous and nerdy and i love her for it. we all know this. but theres a lot of her character that is so overlooked.

heres an essay on why metatextually and narratively, terezi is one of (if not THE) most important characters in homestuck and how that connects to her relationship with vriska.

vriska and terezi are described by hussie like this:

This is the most important character relationship resulting from all the sound and fury of Hivebent's chaotic dispensation... It's the arguable axis around which the whole epic revolves, when you really study all the ramifications from the fallout resulting from their rivalry, ensuing revenge cycle, and mutually floundering struggle for redemption, in the warped way each of them defines that idea.

so i mean even HUSSIE acknowledges that theyre important. and of course we all know vriska is obsessed with trying to be at the center of the narrative and you could say she pulls terezi into that but thats NOT what happens between them.

so terezi meets vriska at some undetermined young age and they flarp together and become close very quickly as seen in terezis memories in remem8er. and when all the drama in hivebent goes down you really see that they arent just stable in their quadrants but that their codependency plays into this vacillation in a really twisted way.

Another snapshot of the tortured Scourge Sisters dynamic, in a long tale of angst and ambivalence concerning justice and morality. Terezi wrestles with this eternally. She wants to bring Vriska to justice. But she doesn't. She does, doesn't, does, doesn't. Vriska thrashes back and forth in a different way. I'm sorry, see how sorry I am? Isn't being sorry ENOUGH? What more do you want? I'm sorry, not sorry, sorry, not sorry. And being not sorry takes the form of lashing out, incrimination, daring Terezi into action, calling her bluff, etc. So her vacillation is more like, I'm sorry, fuck you, I'm sorry, you don't have the guts, I'm sorry, just kill me already! The dangerous dance goes on and on.

so yes. vrisrezi good. vrisrezi complex. but what makes this even more tragic is how they act as the ultimate doomed yuri. before remem8er, terezi talks about a lot of heavy feelings she hasnt really let on before.

GC: 1 N3V3R F3LT WHOL3 GC: 1 ST1LL DON'T GC: 4ND YOU M4D3 1T SO 1 D1DN'T H4V3 TO F4C3 TH4T F33L1NG GC: FOR 4 WH1L3 4T L34ST GC: 4ND NOW TH4T 1 TH1NK 1 KNOW TH1S 4BOUT MYS3LF GC: 1 TH1NK 1 G3T 1T GC: TH3 F33L1NG W1LL PROB4BLY N3V3R GO 4W4Y GC: ONLY COV3R3D UP 4T MOST, M4YB3 GC: W3 COULD W1N TH1S F1GHT GC: CR34T3 4NOTH3R UN1V3RS3 GC: SUCC33D 1N 3V3RY W4Y POSS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1'LL ST1LL F33L 1NCOMPL3T3 GC: V1CTORY WON'T F1X M3 GC: M4YB3 NOTH1NG C4N GC: M4YB3 TH3R3'S TOO L1TTL3 SUBST4NC3 1NS1D3 M3 TO 3V3N B3 F1X3D

she talks about her sense of incompleteness in a way that reminds me of the way you see space players experience loneliness--which is cool given that mind as an aspect has some parallels to both space and time. and she talks about how shes never been complete on her own. going back to the instagram post i saw that said she doesnt feel rounded enough on her own--thats the point. so much of her character is defined by vriska that its a part of her own identity and a tragic part of her actual experiences. theres another hussie quote which is about vriska but still applicable--

For instance, you could write dozens of paragraphs of meta on Vriska alone. But the moment you stop writing about Vriska in a vacuum, and start writing about Vriska x Terezi, the avenues of analysis seem endless. It's a circuitous, psychologically tortured mutual arc of competitive codependency, which on closer inspection serves as the axis around which virtually the entire plot revolves.

her codependency with vriska is one of the most central components of the entire narrative. without terezi's internal torment over vriska there would be no homestuck as we know it. [s] flip and the aftermath of game over (F1X TH1S) are among the most important moments in the entire story and both are defined by vriska and terezi's dynamic.

GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 TH1NK 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T NOW GC: 4ND SHOULD B3 4BL3 F1GHT W1THOUT H4V1NG SOM3TH1NG GN4W 4T M3 GC: SOM3TH1NG TH4T F3LT UNKNOW4BL3, 4ND M4D3 M3 CONST4NTLY WOND3R WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG WRONG GC: 1'M OK W1TH L1V1NG L1K3 TH4T GC: NOT GO1NG TO PR3T3ND 1T WOULDN'T B3 N1C3 TO... GC: P4TCH MYS3LF UP, SOM3HOW? GC: GU3SS TH4T SH1P S41L3D, THOUGH GC: B4CK 1N OUR S3SS1ON, 1N WH4T3V3R W4Y 1 BOTCH3D MY QU3ST GC: OR D1DN'T R34CH GOD T13R, OR... GC: 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T W4S 1 D1D OR D1DN'T DO GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T'S TH3 PROBL3M, 1SN'T 1T? GC: TH3 MYST3RY OF 1T GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R GC: OR TH3 H3RO1C TH1NGS 1 SUPPOS3DLY D1D GC: S4CR1F1C3S 1 M4D3 GC: TO S4V3 YOU GC: TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY GC: WH1CH T3LL M3 NOTH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, 4ND WH4T 1'M R34LLY C4P4BL3 OF GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R!

im including this stuff without much commentary because it just acts as illustration of how much more depth to terezi than just crazy murdery lawyer dragon girl. yes, shes tormented over vriska and how she lost her in another timeline and all the choices shes made in different worlds but its also about her. her dependency on vriska is a symptom of this deep deep loneliness she holds inside her. theres something to be said about her lack of a lusus and specficially the fact that her lusus's egg was held on a scale weighing it against sburb-associated machinery

the prevention of her loneliness is always doomed. she has no lusus--but in order to have one, the world would have to end. she has vriska--but she loses her in every single timeline without fail. she flirts with the humans--but kills john in one timeline and dooms a dave in another. she cannot pursue intimacy or friendship or any form of relationship without losing both her loved ones along with everything else. its not just that she doesnt have a lusus--its that her lusus hatching will end the world. its not just that she loses vriska--its that in no timeline we see do they get a happy ending, and the closest they get in being erased from reality in each others arms.

GC: M4YB3 1T'S D3LUS1ON4L OF M3 GC: TO 1M4G1N3 TH4T JUST H4V1NG 4NOTH3R S3T OF M3MOR13S 1S GO1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L MOR3 COMPL3T3 GC: 1 C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T THOUGH GC: 1 GU3SS 1T'S 4LW4YS T3MPT1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S ON3 H1DD3N 4NSW3R TO 3V3RYTH1NG GC: NO M4TT3R HOW F4NT4ST1C4L OR 1N4CC3SS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1F ONLY YOU COULD F1ND 1T, YOU'D F1N4LLY H4V3 TH3 P3RF3CT R3SOLUT1ON TO 3V3RYTH1NG 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU C4N'T ST4ND GC: SO 1 JUST K33P WOND3R1NG TO MYS3LF GC: TH4T M4YB3 1F ONLY 1 COULD JUST R3M3MB3R GC: 1 WOULDN'T H4V3 TO F33L L1K3 TH1S

she is tormented by so much more than just vriska. and i talk about this through so much angsty and dramatic words but its really true that shes so tragic. and tragedy isnt the only reason to love her because shes also so silly and crazy and weird and offputting etc but the instagram post that pissed me off so badly said that she became uninteresting after the earlier-comic characterizations of her with her bloodthirsty lawyer/executioner persona.

GC: UH... WOW GC: 1 W4SN'T R34LLY 3XP3CT1NG TO T3LL YOU 4LL TH4T GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO C4TCH YOU B3FOR3 YOU GO OFF TO B4TTL3, 4ND W1SH YOU "LUCK" >:] GC: 4ND TO L3T YOU KNOW HOW 1MPORT4NT YOU'V3 B33N TO M3, 1N 4 W4Y TH4T W4SN'T L1K3 GC: CLOUD3D BY OUR USU4L TR4SH T4LK 4ND M1ND G4M3S GC: 1 GU3SS TH1S 1S WH4T YOU G3T FOR 1GNOR1NG M3 FOR TWO S3CONDS GC: 4 L1TTL3 TOO MUCH R34L1TY FROM 4N 1D1OT WHO'S MOR3 M3SS3D UP 1NS1D3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3TS ON

she says it here. yes she is weird and silly but beyond the parts of it that are engrained into her personality it seems to be (at least in part) an act to cover up how messed up she feels inside. she is so full of shenanigans and whatnot and doesnt display her issues the way a lot of characters do (even the prospit kids who are so known for repressing their emotions show more signs of distress that terezi does, to the point that hussie made sure to note that her distress was genuine when her lusus died!)

More great and very imaginative sound effects. "GENUINE" seems like maybe it's an unnecessary qualifier, until you consider that Terezi is so full of shit, many things she does could be considered ungenuine. So it pays to point out when she is sad for real, like when her newborn baby mom dies.

vriska, downright infamous for being surrounded in discourse around the context of her actions, is even more obvious than terezi. she too plays up an act of her unfazed coolness about all the stuff she does but shes less extreme about it in such a way that its more obvious when she slips a bit in that facade. when terezi is distressed she usually doesnt show it at all because her layers of weird silliness are too thick. shes just a lot better at the whole violent killing stuff than vriska is! you can see this in vriskas breakdown in vrisky business:

vriska has a total breakdown over realizing shell need to learn to hunt after losing her arm and she says this:

bascially saying that that prime difference between them is that vriska, yes, has learned to be ruthless and violent and manipulative (and was never a good person in the first place but it was her lusus that shaped her into being like this) while terezi never had that stress. she could do whatever she wanted and be as wild as she wished which is why she grew into the crazy troll girl who is the most important character in homestuck. with why i love her out of the way its some analysis timeeeeee.

i already mentioned how important flip and f1x th1s are but i wanna dive into that.

terezi exhibits an understanding of sburb's timelines better than anyone else, even time players, letting her do things like lead dave to her own doomed self on his quest bed, and it becomes clear that this is the nature of her mind powers, combined with a seer's intuition. she has many traits that involve seeing through different barriers, if that makes sense--she can navigate the world by forming a mental image of her surroundings by smell and taste after going blind, and she sees through the layers of sburb's bizarreness just as easily.

[s] flip is one of the first places this ability is used in a way this vital to the progression of the main plot--she uses her powers to stop vriska from dooming them all.

Any divergence from this path to my knowing will taper into blackness like rotting roots. But if I was a Seer, such offshoots would be fully within my domain... A Seer would support her allies in battle not with her weapons, but her vision. She would sift through dross of her comrades' poor tactical inclinations and examine the grim consequences. A Seer would not charge into the fray headlong but direct it as a conductor with a baton. She would have the sight to eschew the obvious gambits, and find the path to victory disguised cleverly as setback, or even imminent defeat. She would behold the fortunes of friends and foes in totality, and appraise the contrivance of luck itself...A true Seer would know where luck is a given, where it is absent, and most importantly, where it doesn't matter at all. And she would know victory doesn't matter in a reality where all else is doomed to fail.

being from doc scratch this is ofc not 100% reliable information but its still some good meta. the last couple lines really emphasize her narrative place--as a seer, she is aware of the big picture, and as a seer of mind, she is more specifically aware of the branching timelines formed in sburb. she is a mastermind behind the plot but lacks the tools to truly direct it. (and i will also go ahead and point out the line about acting as a conductor since thats a very important symbol in homestuck representing movements of the story much like an orchestral symphony.

the actual conductors we see are the cherubs, calliope in particular. calliope and caliborn are characters with actual narrative power (caliborn takes over the whole story!) so its pretty impressive to be compared to that.

but it turns out terezi does in fact have a place in the story almost at this level of power.

it's revealed that the initial version of the events following the coinflip were in terezi's vision:

and that she turned around on that initial path to prevent it from happening. on its own, this isnt that significant. but this moment is the moment that the retcons revolve around, with an entire axis of the plot centered around this single moment between vriska and terezi woven together with terezi's visions and powers.

john may be the one to carry out the actual retcons, but terezi is both the one who ordered him to do so and the orchestrator of the entire narrative rewrite. this is the moment when she raises the conductors baton. this is why i refer to terezi rewriting the universe, not john.

all john did was use his powers to carry out the list of instructions that terezi used her powers to develop. most of them are of arguable vitality but the one that truly changes everything is the rewriting of vriska's death. by doing this, terezi is the reason why homestuck does not end in the disaster of game over. were it not for terezi, homestuck would have a far more tragic ending that the bittersweet conclusion we're actually left with. there are many characters who display a level of narrative control--vriska pulling the spotlight towards herself and being somewhat aware that a narrative like homestuck exists; the very existence of john's powers; doc scratch's role as a stand-in narrator on a level comparable to hussie's avatar; caliborn's narrative takeover in act 6 and ascension to lord english; calliope's role as a storyteller of the existing narrative--the list goes on. but terezi's actions are perhaps the most significant, even if her level of control is nowhere close, rewriting the story of homestuck entirely. she does get the password pages in there, which i'll definitely count as a sort of metanarrative presence in the presentation of the comic (like caliborn and doc scratch's site rethemes). yes, john does the necessary actions to achieve this end, but would not have been able to do so without the anchor points of terezi's direction of the plot.

and once again, this is inseparable from her relationship with vriska. yes, she does this to give another timeline a chance at victory, and to carry on her story in another life as she dies in the pre-retcon timelines, but it's also for vriska. killing vriska broke terezi as much as it broke the narrative and so rewriting canon for vriska gives that other version of herself a second chance. there is not point in leaving vriska out of this because the relationship between the two and the push and pull of their tumultuous dynamic is what is at the heart of the narrative--not one or the other.

and even with such a significant role, she is still bound to her fate outside of the changes john can make. im gonna bring back some dialogue from earlier--

GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 TH1NK 1 UND3RST4ND TH4T NOW GC: 4ND SHOULD B3 4BL3 F1GHT W1THOUT H4V1NG SOM3TH1NG GN4W 4T M3 GC: SOM3TH1NG TH4T F3LT UNKNOW4BL3, 4ND M4D3 M3 CONST4NTLY WOND3R WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG WRONG GC: 1'M OK W1TH L1V1NG L1K3 TH4T GC: NOT GO1NG TO PR3T3ND 1T WOULDN'T B3 N1C3 TO... GC: P4TCH MYS3LF UP, SOM3HOW? GC: GU3SS TH4T SH1P S41L3D, THOUGH GC: B4CK 1N OUR S3SS1ON, 1N WH4T3V3R W4Y 1 BOTCH3D MY QU3ST GC: OR D1DN'T R34CH GOD T13R, OR... GC: 1 DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T W4S 1 D1D OR D1DN'T DO GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T'S TH3 PROBL3M, 1SN'T 1T? GC: TH3 MYST3RY OF 1T GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R GC: OR TH3 H3RO1C TH1NGS 1 SUPPOS3DLY D1D GC: S4CR1F1C3S 1 M4D3 GC: TO S4V3 YOU GC: TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY GC: WH1CH T3LL M3 NOTH1NG 4BOUT MYS3LF, 4ND WH4T 1'M R34LLY C4P4BL3 OF GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R!

she does not have the godlike narrative position that the cherubs achieve. shes not even a godtier! and thats another part of what makes her so tragic. she knows enough about sburb to navigate it and play it to her advantage but not enough to gain the self fulfillment she wants.

GC: TH3 TH1NGS 1'V3 SUPPOS3DLY DON3 GC: GOOD 4ND B4D, 1N D1FF3R3NT R34L1T13S GC: TH3 M1ST4K3S 1 M4D3, BUT C4N'T L34RN FROM GC: B3C4US3 1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R

highlighting this part, her seer abilities are both her greatest power over the narrative and one of her most tragic parts.

she has access to infinite timelines and choices and can tell how things will turn out but she cant simply unlock those realities and memories beyond her experiences. having the access to the memories of a better life also isnt necessarily a plus.

GC: M4YB3 1T'S D3LUS1ON4L OF M3 GC: TO 1M4G1N3 TH4T JUST H4V1NG 4NOTH3R S3T OF M3MOR13S 1S GO1NG TO M4K3 M3 F33L MOR3 COMPL3T3 GC: 1 C4N'T STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 1T THOUGH GC: 1 GU3SS 1T'S 4LW4YS T3MPT1NG TO TH1NK TH3R3 1S ON3 H1DD3N 4NSW3R TO 3V3RYTH1NG GC: NO M4TT3R HOW F4NT4ST1C4L OR 1N4CC3SS1BL3 GC: 4ND 1F ONLY YOU COULD F1ND 1T, YOU'D F1N4LLY H4V3 TH3 P3RF3CT R3SOLUT1ON TO 3V3RYTH1NG 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU C4N'T ST4ND GC: SO 1 JUST K33P WOND3R1NG TO MYS3LF GC: TH4T M4YB3 1F ONLY 1 COULD JUST R3M3MB3R GC: 1 WOULDN'T H4V3 TO F33L L1K3 TH1S

the access to this knowledge seems to be a part of why she is so internally desperate for answers. the solution is right there seemingly but just out of reach. and in this desperate moment of trying to unlock those answers?

she remem8ers. (and i know the title of the flash is a reference to the song used in it but i will also point out just how vrisrezi it is to have her desperate attempts to recall her other self's memories be written in vriska's typing quirk)

at the end of this flash, terezi and vriska are about to be literally wiped from reality forever. and yet, they face that end smiling in each others arms. they are no longer relevant. there is no narrative significance to this moment. but its still what terezi needed to see in order to fulfill that part of herself.

um. i spent all day writing this in my free time. enjoy.

terezi save me. save me. terezi. terezi. terezi save me

[seeingivy]

hii ronnie i’m usually a silent reader (ig my introverted-ness transcends realms) but i had to tell you that i love love love your writing sm!!! i have to split this up to really encapsulate my experience on your blog 🙂‍↕️

my first ever interaction with your blog was when your taylor as gojo post came up— specifically king of my heart and speak now … although you’re losing me has to be one of my faves. reading the series as it came out, it was actually mind boggling to me when i realized you also wrote family rules!!

when bsfob sukuna came out i HAD to read it… are u crazy.. i think i’m most attached to him since i now was so active (reading wise) on your blog and really enjoyed each chapter (might’ve shed a tear here and there) the intricacies of everyone’s relationships and their love … im gonna sob.

now.. onto the past THREE days ! i always saw your posts for method acting but never really got around to it, that is, until this week. i started reading it out of wanting a multi-part story and that i knew i’d love your writing as i have so many times before. when i started method acting.. i couldn’t even put my phone down and stayed up the whole night reading half the story and sobbing every chapter (probably beginning at sick with sadness like everyone..) i had never been so hooked at the ending of “historic wins” like wdym they don’t get married and adopt a cat named gerald immediately … WHAT DO YOU MEAN ..this is SICK work. anyways i finished the rest of method acting within the next two days (much to my dismay…) and now im writing this ! i have NOT been the same i don’t think i’ve been so emotional in a while

im so excited to see what you have in store for dream girl, coffee toji and anything else !!! pls don’t ever feel bad about your writing i swear there are too many of us that WILL gobble up anything you throw at us

side note cause i didn’t get to mention him— casual suguru you will ALWAYS be famous 🫂

this whole post might’ve been spurred on by you saying you feel that taylor as gojo doesn’t do as well (interaction wise) and im here to tell You 🫵 to ALWAYS trust in tayppell as gojo anon and ME (and a bajillion others) to have your back !!

oh my goodness!!!! hello my sweet baby <3333

first and foremost, so flattered that you were willing to take the time to get over the nervousness to tell me what you've thought about my writing/blog!!!! I totally get that because...I literally used to be like that...so I literally take it as the biggest compliment that you even took the time to leave this ask

wait this literally gave me the CRAZIEST FLASHBACK. its actually crazy bc family rules and king of my heart...like to this day are some of the most popular pieces that i've ever written...and speak now was LITERALLY the first time I even ever wrote something so those all make me so nostalgic for that time period when i was fighriung out what it was that I liked to write 😭

oh bsfsob sukuna....so insane but I literally pulled up one of the chapters in comments in my therapy session the other day and she was like okay well...if you can write this why can't you understand it and I was like 😃 this is about my boyfriend sukuna girl shut up....but on the real, that fic is/will always be so special to me because there's just so much of me and my own feelings in there that it literally feels like my little baby of hurt feelings that people relate to and get happiness from and its all types of weird and healing and idk

CAT NAMED GERALD IS SO FUNNY FLKDJSALKFDJSLAKF. gerald kills me bc for some reaosn thats the name of the siblings groupchat that I have like we all just named it gerald and now its been like years of that. no because I actually feel that bc I was rereading it the other day to feel somethind and realized how like...I was predicting some stuff that was gonna happen before I wrote it unintentionally...lIKE I WAS UNINTENTIONALLY EASTER EGGING its kind of insane and that fic is just so comprehensive and whole and I love it so much and I don't think i'll be able to write anything as good as that again

you and taypell as gojo anon are my fiercest riders I fear like I think about IT ON THE DAILY. GOJO AS TAYLOR FANS IM TRYING I SWEAR TO GOD

[sshireens]

2, 6, 8, 12 👉👈?

THANK YOU YINNIE 💓💓💓

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

this requires me to narrow down my favs, which is so much more difficult than i ever could have expected. yin if i don’t answer the ask quickly this was why. catelyn tully would never top because ned lays pipe and she’s a freak like that. saw a ss of a reddit post that was like ‘my wife likes to get blitzed and then come home and have me fuck her brains out’ and thats her. brienne is never bottoming and jaime is never topping because jaime has some kind of reversed gender thing going on that makes him want to be a girl but not to another man. and brienne lives to serve. she literally is a sword. and thats a penis metaphor as we all know. margaery is never topping men because despite being the first ally in westeros she thinks thats weird. these are compelling arguments to me! daenerys stormborn is NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER. never bottoming because A). thats the prince that was promised B). jon likes to get dicked down C). i personally believe that being sold and traded will lees her to discover (amidst her several trysts with irri jhiqui and doreah (bc u cant tell me otherwise. irri is canon first of all)) that she, as the breaker of chains and mother of dragons and khaleesi of the great grass sea, is not inclined to experience things at the whim of others but rather the opposite. is that appropriate to say.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

oh god. SORRY PLEASE DONT SHOOT ME EVERYONE! daemyra (this might be biased bc i just dont like daemyra) some sansan ppl really get under my skin…. LUCEMOND JESUS CHRIST. almost forgot about them (was almost free). wow sorry lucemond shippers first place for annoying. its not that im an omegaverse toxic incest yaoi anti its just. Its the people it truly is i cannot even enter that circle. there is a blog on here though i can’t remember the url of that makes cute sfw art that doesnt frighten me and ive been known to browse, even hit like once or twice. lucemond still stay away from me please

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

daenerys is not going to be queen of the seven kingdoms NOR SHOULD SHE BE. if daenerys takes the iron throne the whole series is pointless

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

what qualifies as unpopular. also what do we consider like. because i consider like as in ‘this is a fun character to see interact with the world’ and NOT!!!!!!!!! ‘i support this guy’. just to clarify for any other viewers at home. a character ive seen a lot of people Dislike but i think deserves to be heard out is criston because he’s funny and thats it thats why everyone should like him. but i dont consider him unpopular? hmm tough tough …… will i get flayed if i say larys like i mean he’s just sick i love wondering what is going on in that head. in regards to characters i think are not given enough attention: jaehaera targaryen. ‘she’s a little girl shes a non-character’ SHUT UP. she’s a little girl exactly. she didn’t get the chance to be her own person she is alicent’s pain helaena’s pain and her own. GOD MY BABY GIRL….. she names her dragon death…… AUGH DONT EVEN TALK TO ME DOONNTTT EVEN. um also rhaella, daughter of rhaena the lesbian AND! mother of daenerys. bc first of all rhaella and aerea switches thats true. so like. rhaella septa rhaella wondering if that was meant to be her. wondering if maybe it would have never happened if she hadn’t traded places. is it kinder to force her twin into the faith or to let her die? Augh. also daenerys’ mommy just… why dont we know about her i need more people on here like me willing to band together to make up canon. i guess thats not really a reason why people should like them. ALSO SHIREEN BARATHEON I DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL BUT IM THE BIGGEST SHOOTER FOR SHIREEN THATS BABY THATS MOTHER THATS THE PRINCESS THATS MY DAUGHTER THATS ME I LOVE HER SO BAD OH NY GOD SHIREEN PEASE COME HOME THE PEOPLE MISS YOU. and i know everyone dgaf about baby boy bowl cut brown boba eyed broken bran. but i gave birth to him. and thats why you should like him.

i don’t consider myself a targ girlie and then it comes to questions abt asoiaf and i can only answer in reference to them 😔 tried to be diverse 🤞

[fractalkiss]

fic commentary/notes for the year you thought you were dying.

trying this thing where i do fic commentaries here instead of on dreamwidth since most of my recent dw posts will be private now.

influences:

there was this BL titled "my 40-year-old prostitute" in english or something like that that a mutual from twt recommended. look, it was good. im so fucking serious. the yaoi art was beautiful and sexy and it started out so well with compelling characters. but the translators ceased uploading translations by just chapter 2 in 2020 on [redacted] site. which effectively meant the premise never left me for months and i was so sad.

joke's on me tho all of this really became serious after i wrote tumblr ficlets of 1418 hooker au in response to some fun ask prompts in the summer, which are in my fic tag somewhere.

some quotes from more influences:

"It’s obvious that the range of people who sought out sex for money would change dramatically in a kinder, gentler world. [...] Sex work would also attract stone butches of all genders and sexual orientations—people who want to run the fuck but are not interested in experiencing their own sexual vulnerability and pleasure. Often these people are the most adept at manipulating other people’s experiences. They are more objective about their partners’ fantasies and do not become distracted by their own desires, since their needs to remain remote and in control are already being fulfilled. - pat califa, 1994, 2000

"You. What will you let yourself become for me?" - dorothy allison, her thighs, 1992.

the essay "her thighs" is about lesbian power play and so influential to me. i think dorothy allison is a very powerful writer and i love her poetry.

this is an allison excerpt from jane ward's the tragedy of heterosexuality:

i kept this in mind too while i was writing manuela's short backstory.

the process:

i wanted crazy thangs with the structure. i wanted most of the sexual intimacy to be revealed much later to the reader, after we go through mostly the companionship aspect of the service -- which i realise now is not crazy but a boring approach and would really change the story so i didnt do it.

sex pollen fic done this way is my fave tho. helenish wrote this sga fic called This Gun for Hire with sex amnesia in it where everyone is in denial in the aftermath about the kind of sex that was repeatedly happening. there are other fic examples (can't quite remember or have bookmarked) where the denial and delusion is so completely off the charts with a character in trying to get through the aftermath of the event without a freaky sex trope involved.

so i wondered if i could pull off that kind of blurriness and denial in the structure for a character who KNOWS what is happening but thinks they're still straight and will die straight lmao. but fernando in this story is just jaded, retiring and isn't cripplingly repressive.

the notes from my word tracker doc that i had to do to be able to write long fic. i laugh at this every time:

my projected word count for this was 20k, which was so off lmfao.

i put off getting them to have sexy fun in italy at one point because i didn't know yet what emotional point they needed to get to and what grounds they'd be on then. i wrote a bit of a very different scene to lead up to it, but then scrapped it. and then i wrote the auction night and the morning-after scene. tension and conflict (without having to use miscommunication as the necessary crutch) is always one of my most favorite things to write about so i was so glad i got to this point LOL. the payoff of reaching a compromise and then an emotional release later is so rewarding to me! i love that shit

emotionally i just knew i needed it to be like the mindy nettifee poem i grabbed the fic title from.

figuring out how to write lance in this fic was really hard ngl since i went into the story almost blind. cofi made me realise this blind spot when i showed her an early wip and i was like hold awn.... if i wasn't sending @strulovic broken drafts and doing lanceology consultations with her, i wouldn't have gotten anywhere in the story.

alonso being a divorcee irl is so important to each and every one of my agendas thank god for the gay uncle. i did a lot of google searching to be able to write fernando's approach to sex and relationships outside of the job. i knew what i wanted to take away, like the difficulties with intimacy that former workers have had, and still have after the industry sometimes. fernando scrubbing his hands clean at lance's place after the auction despite not having sex with the auction client, his views on wanting the sex with his ex-wife and other exes to be "acceptable and proper" in contrast to whatever he's done for work, and how the internalised homophobia warps this for him while he tries to play the gentleman with lance in italy (and lance being able to read through him and understand that fernando DOES want to fuck him nasty ‼️ though lance doesn't understand the extent of fernando's issue with it). there are also accounts where sex work gave a worker the experience, space and autonomy they needed to slowly heal from prior traumatic and/or abusive experiences. the research was very interesting.

relied on music A LOT. an honorary ldr song [hears collective groaning] that didn't get included in the fic playlist was Love song. lance was in that passenger seat beside fernando in their sleek '67 restored fiat on the way to umbria wishing and wishing to get railed.

ALMOST FORGOT TO INCLUDE: ferrari to mclaren 2.0 fernando was the print here. he keeps the ferrari depression beard ofc.

truly not an overstatement, i think this fic was what made writing smth as long as this quite enjoyable and bearable for me. dare i say fun! haha

[yuukei-yikes]

hi gang. this is a second manga route (lost days arc) hate post 💖 it's implied in the seventh novel that haruka&takane ending up in the same highschool is all part of saeru's plan being perfected route after route, like placing the mekadan everywhere it needs them to be right?? for haruka, since his dad was a colleague of kenjirou's, it would've been easy for saeru to be like hey u should enroll ur kid in this school!! but for takane's grandpa to suddenly start insisting on that school is a mystery. how the hell did saeru have any influence in that..??

second manga route lost days arc is stupid as shit and i hate it and it doesn't exist to me❤ like if haruka and takane were gonna meet and both die on august 15 and both get an exception of “dying alone but still gets a snake” anyways, without saeru's intervention what's the fucking point lmao.

like it COULD HAVE BEEN that with saeru's intervention, what differs is that instead of one snake per 2 people's deaths, it gets 2 snakes out for each person dead, both haruka and takane. does this make sense? like since the daze needs TWO people to die to get ONE snake out, haruka and takane (and ayano) have always been a ridiculous obvious exception with no justification since they die alone and get their own snakes anyway. second manga route HAD the opportunity to explain WHY exactly saeru needed to intervene with haruka and takane at all. like, if in this initial route both die but only one gets a snake! so saeru can be like OK i can grab these 2 people and, with all the "experimenting" on haruka and takane serving as some inference to how it happens, that’s how saeru gets two snakes out in one day to go according to its plans since it needs as many snakes to come out as soon as possible.

but second manga route STILL ignores this and gives both haruka and takane their own snakes even though they die alone (and ayano but im not talking abt her though it still applies in second manga route when she dies with her parents making it THREE people not two but whatever IM TALKING ABOUT HARUTAKA)(and in main route ayano also has her own bit like this but on the contrary, she just opens the daze by herself and stays. as if she had any jurisdiction over who stays or not in the daze and it doesn’t keep or spit out whoever it chooses)(like this all also applies to ayano but her case is different to haruka and takane’s intertwined cases so she’s a different subject ALSO ayano gets a pass because she gets AN AMAZING arc in second manga route as opposed to haruka and takane’s... WHATEVER THAT IS)

it's SO ridiculous, by all means bad writing with plot holes and i can excuse it in a main route because i know kagepro is the kind of thing that's just written as it goes and it's made by 1 person and to be honest all this nonsense stuff is infinitely charming to me and i love getting annoyed about it and dissecting it because it’s fun. but THIS...!!!! WELL I STILL LOVE DISSECTING IT AND IT’S STILL FUN BUT IT DOES MAKE ME ANGRY TOO.. come on. u didnt plan it at all!?!? and by the time second manga route started coming out kagepro WAS a lot more grounded on what it was yknow!! like come on. it's stupid as all shit also takane is so painfully ooc. maybe that’s the reason i wanna attack this route with hammers but all the other stuff is also true. like i keep saying lol second manga route I HATE YOUUU

like ugh the whole retaining eyes backstory IS SO INTERESTING and I DO LOVE LOVE LOOOVE ayano’s arc and the exploration of her being abandoned by the trio and being such a failgirl, and kagepro getting more meta than ever and having her realise she’s a supporting character. how it goes in depth about saeru’s motivations is so awesome too and oh my god shintaro and ene crying and calling each other a best friend my dude this route has so much going for it but. it still sucks so bad because it does my faves dirty. takane would never fucking kill herself. thank you.

[asbatstos]

boygirl posting from the library study room but i have something to say!!

i have the biggest bone to pick with the people who are like "oml ryan ross is such a piece of shit for writing i dont love u im just passing the time" on she had the world. it grgrgrgr

I might be biased because it's one of my fave songs off pretty odd but like, have yall never listened to the album or know like anything about the process of how it came to be.,.,, before po was cricket and clover which was a whole like fictional storytelling album, kinda like three cheers from what I can make of it so obviously there's gonna be some storytelling elements in the album even if cricket and clover didn't come before the whole po album is a very like fairytale esc album. so automatically assuming things are exactly the truth or real life experiences is just wild to me.

this might sound elitist but ppl especially like newer panic fans take the lyrics too much at face value and don't think about what they're saying and how they are saying it. ppl are always arguing like shitting on ryan or defending him by saying blah blah its from kelties pov. who tf CARES!!!!

we aren't gonna know ryans personal life or what she had the world or even the whole pretty odd album is about, but going around arguing and complaining about a lyric from an album that came out 16 years ago is not gonna do anything

interpret the lyrics how you want, appreciate them, overanalyze, make them ur OWN, and do it on UR OWN!!!!. bashing a grown ass man who does not care on the internet is gonna do you no good. thank you for listening. i hope i don't sound like a ryan d rider but I am

[randyortonofficial]

i seen you posted abt the supermega situation and i have no one to talk to about it. i just hate how heartbroken i am over this and how i’m crying over it. i’ve already been having problems irl with people i thought were my friends and this just takes the cake. i stopped watching then within the last year because i just haven’t been watching uploads or the podcast but they were my comfort youtubers some years ago and i just feel betrayed and sick to my stomach. and i’m just not okay mentally right now. i don’t know why this is effecting me so badly. irl and whoever you are a fan of, guess you can’t trust anyone in this world.

these were people you developed an attachment too and who provided an escape. now that escape is being taken away and we are confronted with the reality of our problems once again. it is a hard experience and i understand why it is distressing

i wish i could provide some helpful words or advice. i am going through some trouble of my own and one of my fave creators exposed even more of his true colors last month - and i don’t even idolize content creators anymore, knowing that 90% of the time, they will disappoint

just know that there are other fans in your position. other fans who feel betrayed and are wondering what went wrong. how they will escape from the realities of life.

im autistic, so if it were me, i would find a new hyperfixation. a show, a video game, etc. but you can trust people in this world. it is hard, but everyone is going through hard times right now (like literally, EVERYONE has had a terrible few months, idk whats in the air!) and there IS light on the other side. i know that logically knowing it and putting it into practice is difficult

i apologize you’re having a difficult time and i do hope that you are able to find respite and peace soon. it is definitely a hard time for the fans right now

[briarborealisocs]

in terms of vibes, where do you pull inspirstion from for your WIPs? (you don't have to answer for all of them, just your current faves lol)

ohohohohhhh i love Vibes questions. i think i WILL answer for all of them actually

whoopsverse:

since kiska and vas are really my only active whoopsverse characters, ill talk about vibe inspo for them specifically rather than for the whole world. i made kiska and redesigned vas in the HEIGHT of my dsmp hyperfixation so a lot of their vibes character-wise are inspired by fanon takes on dsmp characters. namely, vas was inspired by the "young traumatized teenage rapscallion" archetype tommy fits into a lot of the time, and kiska was inspired by both philza and technoblade characterizations in a lot of fics (ancient, powerful, aloof, but kind and caring too)

as for vibes, like, aesthetically, kiska is very much like. a spooky monster. fog in the forest, glowing eyes staring back out at you from the darkness type beat. cryptid stuff. the creeping dread you get when the woods fall silent and you know there's a predator nearby. but also when she's off-duty she's very much inspired by like, soft domestic cottagecore type beat. like she lives out on a farm homesteading when she's in the mortal realm. meanwhile vas is purple i love purple i think it's a great color. she's inspired by like gremlincore (i think) where she just wears these big baggy clothes and looks a mess but in an almost intentional way. it's not intentional on her part but it is on mine lol

idk i don't really... pull vibes from specific media for them because i don't really engage with media that has Their Vibes very often. im sure there's a ton of stuff that's subconsciously influencing me but it's subconscious so. LOL

project starstruck:

pss is definitely different from a lot of my other stories in the sense that it's modern fantasy slice of life-ish thing. i pull a lot of vibes from Stories About College and from my own experiences and from others experiences, but then there's also a supernatural element where i grab a lot of inspiration from fics ive read that involve Ghosts. haha. the vibes are definitely like "our world but a little to the left" which is easier to quantify vibes-wise than some of my other stuff

austral and boreal are also (perhaps obviously) designed after the southern and northern lights, respectively. i grabbed a photo from The Internet and color picked for their og color palettes (i did my own color palettes in their most recent redesign). boreal's original outfit was inspired by like light academia and austral's was. a suit. in their redesigns austral still wears a blazer and slacks because she's a try hard but boreal is now inspired by like 80s-90s fashion, which i think is silly and cute because she's a ghost (even though she wasnt alive or dead back in the 80s and 90s). their post-story designs, austral dresses very casual in a hoodie and sweats because she's finally letting herself dress comfortably, and boreal is dressed in like a 60s-70s aesthetic Ish because she thinks it's very cool

silly superhero story:

this one is probably the easiest to pin down inspo for because i was Directly Inspired by something to make it. i read SOOOOOO many superhero au fanfics for the dsmp and i absolutely loved the fanon worldbuilding and archetypes/tropes that people used. i wanted to do my own spin on it but my dsmp ideas never worked out so i just made ocs to brainrot over instead. im sure a lot of those fics were inspired by marvel (i saw a lot of spiderman specifically) and i definitely grew up on marvel but im mainly pulling from the fics i read for vibes. back in 2021 i made a vigilante/superhero vibes playlist inspired by one @doeblossom had made. it's mostly upbeat high energy songs that i can imagine someone doing roof parkour combat to. that playlist was the one that i was listening to when i started brainrotting about these ocs, and to this day whenever i listen to it i go awooga awooga.

i also pull vibes from shows like gravity falls and the owl house in regards to plot pacing and conflict scaling. i love a good middle grades media that starts out fairly chill but gets crazy intense by the end!! sshs is more pg-13/young adult than middle grades just based on character ages but the vibes are still there. im also sick of young adult being swamped by grimdark and romance maybe some young adults want to read about silly things (i know i do)

anyhoozle yeaaaah woo!!

the weaver's apprentice:

this one the vibes are mostly driven by @natyune-writes but i draw inspiration for dijah and this story from madoka magica specifically. the vibes are there i hope. also kind of inspired by d&d and mystery/detective stories haha. this one is probably the story i have the least secure grasp on atp so maybe things will change in da future

toh oc:

sol is inspired by (obviously) the owl house but also i really wanted her to have kind of a benign mad scientist vibe. she's Orange also. since she's a self-insert (ish) as well as an oc i also project a lot of my own experiences onto her teehee she's my sillyguy

[mostlymaudlin]

Hiii I hope you’re doing well! 🤍 1, 2, 20, 21, & 26 for the ask :)

i am doing GREAT, having a lot of fun procrastinating multiple things -- i hope you are having a good day!

so, i answered 2 here!

1. where do you typically get your ideas?

mostly i just wanna put a guy in a situation hahaha. lately its a lot of "i have this belief about andrew and im gonna PROVE it to everyone." so, i guess the real answer to this is i get my ideas by thinking about characters, and then i find the appropriate way to show what their deal is!

20. What is your best piece of advice for writing smut scenes?

i made this post once, which i think is my main advice! i guess my only other thing is just that writing smut is the same as writing anything else, in that you'll have your own way of doing it. i think sometimes theres a tendency to put smut in a different category of writing skills -- and yeah, there are things that make it unique, and there is some universality to sex scenes just bc of like... human biology and anatomy hahaha. but also, it's still just your writing! so there's no need to compare yourselves to others/try to write smut the same way your fave authors do. the best sex scenes, imo, are ones that feel like the author felt comfortable writing.

21. What is your best piece of advice for writing romance scenes?

hmmmm. probably that romance looks different for everyone. romance trademarks are like, big confession scenes and passionate kisses and dates and saying "i love you." and those have their place, but maybe not for every character, and not for every story. romance is also, "i call you when im freaking out," or "i make sure you go to bed on time," or "i tell you this secret bc i trust that u won't turn it against me." these are actually examples of scenes id consider to be romantic climaxes of some of my fics haha. i kind of squeak and hide over traditional romantic stuff, and my versions of characters aren't rly that type either, so i never try to smoosh them into the archetypes.

26. How do you go about world building?

same as everything else -- i just kind of structure it to whatever makes it easiest for me to show the things im trying to show abt the characters. i mostly write in contemporary settings, so i don't have to do that much big picture work, but i try to fill the world around the characters with things that feel consistent and non-distracting. i think that setting is one of the most powerful ways to control mood, too -- like, no turning back is kinda angsty at its core, but the world includes a board game bar, which adds some whimsy to the story lmfao. and i like to think that story is kinda fun overall, because all the emotionally heavy stuff is happening in a fairly upbeat world.

in we can live forever, they're in high school, so the world is populated with things from my own experiences of being a teenager and also being a high school teacher. they have homework, they have parents who give them rules, they have shitty cars that they have to share with siblings. these things build the boundaries that remind the reader that these are stupid, besotted teens, and that's why they are being so foolish bahaha.