#im far from being done
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I bought 5 new big binders to put some order in my old papers
.... I hope it'll be enough 🙈
#morgane's talking alone#had to separate all my IE11 stuff into one binder because there is. too much of it. oh my god#and im not even done#im far from being done
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binding vow
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#done....collapses#up until 3am last night n sitting fr another 8 hours today to finish....#g o d#the things i do fr him.....#let it no longer b said that i only do elaborate paintings rife with symbolism tht feature gojo. megu my one true muse#as is Correct and Just#real talk tho i was just sketching th things i wanted to include without giving much thought to the Themes#w the exception being the spider lilies lmao I Know What Those Mean#but i ended up with a REALLY good life/death/marriage/loyalty thing going on????#w the lotus/spider lily being purity+rebirth/death#((not 2 mention 'far from the one he loves' like HELLO?????))#also w the temari balls being associated w femininity but having him dressed in groom's attire#like???? 90% unplanned but i ended up both cooking And eating#also happy 2 report that betta fish were kinder 2 me than the koi were :) no trouble from these lil guys#in fact everything abt this piece kind of came easily beyond the initial colour swatch??#thank u fr being an easy subject megu ilysm im sorry abt all the death imagery i dont mean it pls focus instead on th Life imagery :((((#i put a ring on it so u gotta wake up.....cant leave yuuji @ th altar ....#SPEAKING OF THE RING IK ITS ON THE RIGHT HAND we've been over this and its Okay#if i read a single comment .........#sorry 2 that one person who was like 'the next binding vow better be at itfs' wedding' ik this probably wasnt what u meant#but it did inspire me smile :)#anyway i need 2 stop looking at this its been over 24 hours
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AUEGH
#ruby rose#rwby#obligatory tiny distressed ruby#my art#HELLO I HAVE OFFICALLY FINISHED YET AGAIN ANOTHER ONE OF MY SEMESTERS#and holy shit it was the most awful by far#i felt like absolute shit the entire sem and was behind in literally all of my classes#it was so shit that i actually skipped a class because of the stress of being behind on work. which i had never done before.#i am a criminal now lmao i feel so bad#also a little mad at myself because i know i could've done better. i've been doing the bare minimum and cutting corners#which was very noticeable lol#im gonna actually split my upcoming semester this time my ass and health cannot do this anymore#BUT ANYWAY I FINISHED MY SEMESTER RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#COUGHS OUT BLOOD AND SINKS BACK INTO EARTH'S CORE AND EVAPORATES#IM DONE!!!#also my eyes are really red now for some reason#probably from the lack of sleep or the long hours staring at my bloody laptop idk#probably both#yeah i should go sleep now lol bye#ranting in the tags because i don't know how to talk like a normal person lmao#sorry if you read all this nonsense jkdhkfsdhfkhd#but i should be more active around here again!
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saw a post in the corporate clash tag that caused me to black out and make this
#toontown#corporate clash#ttcc#misty monsoon#rainmaker#misty is not even remotely closed to being a character like vriska but the discourse surrounding her is exactly the same n its crazy#misty is a rly fun character that is done dirty by the uninteresting format of toontasks inherented from toontown online#she has so much potential tbh but we just don't have enough content of her in game to rly matter#as far it is rn she's just a very awkwardly placed plot point cuz you dont rly know how to actually feel about her#barnacle bessie tried to rip her to shreds and its you're almost made to feel bad for misty cuz of it#but like she's still actively involved in a mega corporation trying to take over and pollute bessie's home#how can u blame her for that reaction#basically all im sayin is that misty could be so good but rn she's confined to a singular kinda awkward fight at the end of BB kudos#so maybe in the future she'll be a rly good part of the plotline of clash who knows#idk why i felt the need to rant in the tags sorry my autism
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more sky stuff (ilaw centric)
#yeah the light at the end of the tunnel is far from being reached folks#i am not done in the slightest. its only getting worse#my illnes . my ilnes#i just love tjem alot ok#skycotl#sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky#sky:cotl#sky: cotl#sky: children of the light#thatskygame#ive been fleshing them out more#soo im not stopping with. whatever the hell this is that im doing anytime soon ^_^#cw suggestive#gay bird (ilaw)#<- ilaw tag finally#wasteland elder#prairie elder#valley elder
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Thank you for quality Midvalley content. Simply. Thank. You. *Takes a long sip*
Always happy to see people appreciating this lil guy
#thanks for sharing this with me :3#uuuh i hope you're ok with sipping for a long time cuz im far from being done with him lmao#midvalley the hornfreak#shinxo answers
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i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough
plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#hokma#hokma lobcorp#ayin#ayin lobcorp#im always worried about ooc but then a realize. IT DOESNT MATTER!!! i want them to hug#but then i think abt it and i dont know how to draw hugs. does it matter? NO!! you can tell what it is . good enough#anyways tagging w ayin is always weird because its not QUITE him (from my understanding im not even done im on day 47(pain))#its a mix of consciousness between a blank slate who processes and feels things in a similar manner but then memories put onto him that --#-- logically are his but even then theyre seperate entetied in a way even still (angela noted this in one of the days cant remember which)#so its like.... x and a put into one . i thinkk where its going w it is that each are different aspects ended up experiencing and processin#this grief and hopelessness in different ways? and then ending up being assigned a name as a reflection of different aspects born of the --#-- character that was the entirety of 'ayin'. different aspects isolated via extreme measures when they are ALL ayin just... yknow extremes#FROM MY UNDERSTANDING DONT CORRECT ME IM NOT DONE!!! IM NOT DONE!!!! ITLL HAPPEN 98 HRS SO FAR TRUST#((well day 47 when i queued this to be posted .. hopefully ill be past that and with a acceptable death count))#(((I did btw what the fuck hatbthe fuck whayt hfbf ck)))#I FROGOY i#x lobcorp
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Seeing Marina gush to Penelope about how, in her dreams for the future and her marriage to Colin, she envisions not only Penelope still being in her life but also being happy and side by side with Eloise, her best friend. Just genuinely her viewing them as a pair. It just makes the betrayal she faced hurt so much more.
#bridgerton#shonda always gonna do her black & brown leads dirty in favor of her yte characters huh?#like grey's anatomy is not too far from her mind#funny how marina saw her future with pen in it but pen is the opposite 🤔#like yeah marina should have been honest witj colin from the jump and not try to baby trap him#even if i understand her reasons#but colin literally states that he still would have been there for her & even came back to see her#they had potential and im tired of some yall disrespecting this black woman and acting like it wasn't there#pen def could have told colin privately she just didn't want to risk the possibility that he might still move forward#no matter what anyone says marina was done dirty#also marina being one of the only person in her family to genuinely care about pen only to be dropped and cast aside 😒#marina thompson#anti penelope featherington
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oh great in episode 6 of 4 minutes my beloved. he's so fucked up. i love him.
#can you believe this was the best episode of the whole show so far#it was so messed up this is all i wanted from this show#like is it my birthday or something#im so obsessed#everyone was displaying unhinged behavior and i am here for it#also great is so multifaceted#like he's not a bad person perse but he does do bad things#due to his upbringing and his complacency and his fear cause he is a bit of a coward yes#but like he does feel bad about the effed up stuff he's done#he is just trying to drown it out and ignore it#i just love it when a character is allowed to do the absolutely wrong thing sometimes#and suffer the consequences of their actions#while still also not being an awful awful person deep down#great is a person that's not that good but not that evil either#and he is lonely af and deep down seeking genuine human connection and doesn't even realize it#love that#4 minutes#4 minutes the series
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you get riz gukgak so well 👍👍
thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace
#not art#everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here#the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him#In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same#but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace#the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao#honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth#esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing#ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome#like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be#or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service#this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me#anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it#anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz#u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)
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another mock up for the game concept using the close up of Eadrya (they/them) i did a while back (surprisingly i still like it alot despite being unfinished too)
( didnt have a back view of the player sprite so i crapily edited the front facing one ndfjknvgkd)
#ganondoodles#pixel art#game concepts#all the sprites in the bg are just taken from the roguh concept file#so none of these are really done#other people being excited about me potentially being able to make a game is boosting my motivation#tho i try to keep it in check bc im not far engouh in learning programming to know if its sth for me#qnq
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Being ace but also being people-pleasing enough that I think I'm not ace cuz I like to make my partner happy...is a mind-fuck.
#ace#asexual#trans#lgbtqia#trans man#ace trans#ace pride#ace problems#sex doesnt disgust me per se#for the most part#but I want it to be done fast#like yeah yeah just get there already#so we can get to the cuddles and lovey dovey stuff#can I actually just have lovey cuddles without the sex?#like for reals#that'd be great#but I know that isn't how the vast majority of people are#finding another ace?#ridonkulous#finding another ace around my age who likes me and who I like back?#may as well start my search for unicorns cuz I'll find one of those before a relationship#and y'know what I'm cool with that#dream home is a house in the woods far away from people#so I can wander barefoot in the forest without people wondering what in god's name I'm doing walking barefoot with coffee in hand#and if I'm being honest probably also a book#walking while reading is underrated#I used to rollerblade up and down the street while reading#I will forever associate Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with rollerblading and the scent of the fields by my house#anyways yeah#im an urban hermit dreaming of being a forest hermit
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Not sure if you answered this already; But does Stuart have a place in the Royal au? Since Nathan still killed Mary and is out here joshing and trying to re-kidnap her son multiple times
GREAT question bc yeah he is def not around to help much huh TT
I think the tragedy of it is Mary was planning to run just like she had in canon, but this time didn't manage it before Nathan caught wind and. Probably just killed her yeah. And it being an arranged marriage still makes total sense in this au, so who knows WHERE Mary and her family are from, because of the possibility it was some sort of protection/alliance thing yknow. Maybe the Hatfords were getting favor so they could keep/gain power, running one of Evermore's colonies. I don't imagine the family being anywhere near the castle proper based on what I remember of canon but maybe that's dumb actually
Stuart still exists for sure, but everything in those times was slower - especially travel, whether it be travel of people or travel of news/word. If Stuart is still in a separate home kingdom/state doing his own business, maybe he did try getting some sort of sway or custody of Nathaniel. But that would be an extremely difficult and long process, with very little hope of success. There's a good chance that after Nathaniel ran off, the first word he heard of it was after the fact - likely word from Evermore assuming Nathaniel had died while on his mission.
The REAL problem is that, after Abram's recapture, it takes anywhere from a little less than a month to a few months for word of it to even reach Stuart, that his nephew is alive after all, and even if he started the journey then, he or anyone he sent wouldn't have reached Evermore for another month or more. Abram is at Castle Evermore for much longer than he was canonically in Baltimore, obviously. I'm just not convinced it would have been physically possible for someone in another country/colony to get there before he either escaped or it was too late.
Thankfully Stuart's intervention isn't necessary here like it is in canon, or this would have been a VERY different story that I don't think I could write 😅 no, Kevin Day still knows more about the workings of Castle Evermore than most of the Moriyamas are comfortable with, and he knows who he can correspond with under the table when Kings Tetsuji and Kengo won't cooperate and Prince Riko refuses to give Nathaniel up.
#*ominously* the last moriyama...#gonna have that family chart done soon or so help me#idk in reality how far away the hatfords would be#i imagine them being a Very Important family from a neighboring place#which could be either a neighboring country or in fact an Evermore colony/extension#but. unfortunately this au is low fantasy at MOST#no fast travel or magic communication 😔#if theres a massive plot hole here that i glossed over you can lmk lmao#im working with pieces at a time here#not art sorry guys#asks#royal au
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Okay I just read Zayne's "Still in Dark" anecdote, and now I'm crying and also my jaW IS ON THE GROUND, WHAT IN THE FUC-
----
enjoy the tags, I just needed to vent....
And I'm scared 🤣
#hoooooly shit when i tell you i was confused about the timeline before ... ash.exe has officially stopped responding#semi spoiler alert/ me venting.... youve been warned#ARE WE NOT REAL IN HIS DIMENSION? Are we just pulling a freaking spongebob and showing up in his dreams?#im scared somebody hold me. im freaking crying cuz that was so sad but also SERIOUSLY WTFFFF IS GOING ON#love and deepspace#okay im done screaming im sorry#but seriously.... there is so much happening i dont know whats real and what isnt.#i wanted to think Tower of Secrets was just AU but now with the whole growing jasmine parallel and Linkon City being years in the past....?#ffs i need some theories cuz im just sending myself down a rabbit hole trying to decide what's going on#like what? am i just popping up in zaynes dreams to save him from loneliness while he helps me save the universe from getting access to my#and pops up in Raf's life to rescue him after losing everything while he also magically helps me save the universe from the aether's power#and Xai/Lumiere who's what... like 300+ years old somehow knows who i am?#WHO AM I? some dimension-jumping dream-hopping timeline-skipping superhuman with the core strength of 10000 suns and i don't even remember?#i need to read the rest of Xai's lore....#anyways welcome to the end of the tags. i hope you had fun. if you made it this far.... i am so sorry 🤣
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